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Previously
onCrazy Ex-Girlfriend...
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00:00:02,698 --> 00:00:05,440
I really like all this.
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00:00:05,483 --> 00:00:07,224
You know, music and theater.
4
00:00:07,268 --> 00:00:08,443
I hadn't done it since
this summer camp
5
00:00:08,486 --> 00:00:10,227
I went to, like,
a million years ago,
6
00:00:10,271 --> 00:00:12,273
but I forgot how happy
it made me.
7
00:00:12,316 --> 00:00:13,796
AKOPIAN:
You loved that play.
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00:00:13,839 --> 00:00:16,407
Love doesn't have
to be a person.
9
00:00:16,451 --> 00:00:17,843
It can be a passion.
10
00:00:17,887 --> 00:00:19,367
When things get tough,
it's how I understand the world.
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00:00:19,410 --> 00:00:22,805
Wow. Auditions for
an Elliot Ellison revue.
12
00:00:22,848 --> 00:00:24,502
"Please prepare 16 bars..."
13
00:00:24,546 --> 00:00:26,069
I just signed up to audition
14
00:00:26,113 --> 00:00:28,245
for a local community
theater production.
15
00:00:28,289 --> 00:00:29,420
I'm so excited.
16
00:00:29,464 --> 00:00:31,422
It feels really right.
17
00:00:34,469 --> 00:00:35,774
So, for my big,
huge audition,
18
00:00:35,818 --> 00:00:37,820
which dress says,
"I'm back, theater,
19
00:00:37,863 --> 00:00:39,169
and this time I'm staying"?
20
00:00:39,213 --> 00:00:41,432
That is a lot to
ask from a garment.
21
00:00:41,476 --> 00:00:43,217
But... the black.
22
00:00:43,260 --> 00:00:44,479
Okay!Definitely the black.
23
00:00:44,522 --> 00:00:46,568
Okay.Okay. My turn.
24
00:00:46,611 --> 00:00:50,224
Yeah.
Which suit for my interview
25
00:00:50,267 --> 00:00:52,791
says, "I am a
kickass lawyer
26
00:00:52,835 --> 00:00:54,097
and I'm gonna work
my butt off"?
27
00:00:54,141 --> 00:00:55,968
The navy.
You know why?
28
00:00:56,012 --> 00:00:58,145
It brings out the sparkle
of justice in your eyes.
29
00:00:58,188 --> 00:00:59,929
That's a great compliment.
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00:00:59,972 --> 00:01:01,191
Kind of want to date you now.
31
00:01:01,235 --> 00:01:03,889
And I would, but there's
so much competition.
32
00:01:03,933 --> 00:01:06,327
You and Greg
and Nathaniel and Josh?
33
00:01:06,370 --> 00:01:08,329
No, I told you,
that is all off the table.
34
00:01:08,372 --> 00:01:09,765
They're out of the picture now.
35
00:01:09,808 --> 00:01:11,593
Clearing the path
for my true love...
36
00:01:12,637 --> 00:01:13,595
...the theater.
37
00:01:13,638 --> 00:01:15,423
These Elliot Ellison songs
38
00:01:15,466 --> 00:01:16,641
are so classic,
39
00:01:16,685 --> 00:01:17,903
and they've held
such a special place
40
00:01:17,947 --> 00:01:20,036
in my heart since childhood.
41
00:01:20,080 --> 00:01:21,124
Paula, when I walk
on that stage,
42
00:01:21,168 --> 00:01:22,125
it's all gonna click for me.
43
00:01:22,169 --> 00:01:24,127
I j-- I feel it.
44
00:01:24,171 --> 00:01:25,563
That's great, Cookie.
45
00:01:25,607 --> 00:01:26,825
All right.
Well, I got to go.
46
00:01:26,869 --> 00:01:28,349
Oh, by the way,
how's Darryl taking the fact
47
00:01:28,392 --> 00:01:30,177
that you're interviewing
at other firms?
48
00:01:30,220 --> 00:01:31,178
Oh, not well.
49
00:01:31,221 --> 00:01:33,093
Not well at all.
No, he's a mess.
50
00:01:33,136 --> 00:01:34,268
But you know what?
51
00:01:34,311 --> 00:01:36,139
He's gonna be okay.
He's gonna be fine.
52
00:01:36,183 --> 00:01:39,055
Now watch my lawyer walk.
Uh...
53
00:01:39,099 --> 00:01:41,405
Ooh, yes, girl.
54
00:01:41,449 --> 00:01:42,928
I kind of want
to date you, too, now.
55
00:01:42,972 --> 00:01:44,365
Yeah, you do.Hey, Paula.
56
00:01:44,408 --> 00:01:46,236
Hey, girl.Hey, Rebecca,
what's the emergency?
57
00:01:46,280 --> 00:01:47,629
Yes, so which dress
for my audition?
58
00:01:47,672 --> 00:01:49,021
That's it?
59
00:01:49,065 --> 00:01:50,197
You couldn't have sent a text?
60
00:01:50,240 --> 00:01:51,763
No, you have to see it
in person, okay?
61
00:01:51,807 --> 00:01:54,157
This is important.
It's my big, big, big day.
62
00:01:54,201 --> 00:01:56,159
Wear the black.
63
00:01:56,203 --> 00:01:57,204
Okay. Thank you.
64
00:01:57,247 --> 00:01:59,293
Hey... last call
to audition with me.
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00:01:59,336 --> 00:02:02,165
I have no interest at all.
Also, I have to go.
66
00:02:02,209 --> 00:02:04,254
Beth said she needs
to see me right now.
67
00:02:04,298 --> 00:02:05,690
It's very important.
68
00:02:05,734 --> 00:02:07,127
Also, she just
had a coffee
69
00:02:07,170 --> 00:02:08,128
with my mom.
70
00:02:08,171 --> 00:02:09,738
So we all know what that means.
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00:02:11,218 --> 00:02:12,523
She's gonna propose
before we go back to New York.
72
00:02:12,567 --> 00:02:14,308
I know it!
73
00:02:14,351 --> 00:02:16,919
Oh, wow, oh, my God!
74
00:02:16,962 --> 00:02:18,268
So I got to go.
I only have a few minutes
75
00:02:18,312 --> 00:02:20,270
to get a mani, pedi,
oxygen facial,
76
00:02:20,314 --> 00:02:23,186
and a quick zap
at the cryogenic chamber. Ooh!
77
00:02:23,230 --> 00:02:24,187
Bye, good luck.
78
00:02:24,231 --> 00:02:27,190
Should I go to the cold chamber?
79
00:02:27,234 --> 00:02:29,932
Nah. I don't want to ruin
my vocal cords.
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00:02:29,975 --> 00:02:33,196
♪ Meet Rebecca
81
00:02:33,240 --> 00:02:35,981
♪ She's the coolest girl
in the world, wait ♪
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00:02:36,025 --> 00:02:39,420
♪ Wrong Rebecca
83
00:02:39,463 --> 00:02:41,770
♪ It's this one over here
84
00:02:41,813 --> 00:02:44,642
♪ She's spunky, she's sweet,
a generous friend ♪
85
00:02:44,686 --> 00:02:47,210
♪ Oh, but there
she looks kind of mean ♪
86
00:02:47,254 --> 00:02:48,777
Hmm.♪ Okay, she's snarky
87
00:02:48,820 --> 00:02:50,953
♪ Sarcastic and a...
What? ♪
88
00:02:50,996 --> 00:02:54,783
♪ You know, we're not really
seeing a common theme ♪
89
00:02:54,826 --> 00:02:57,394
♪ Meet Rebecca
90
00:02:57,438 --> 00:03:00,702
♪ She's too hard
to summarize ♪
91
00:03:00,745 --> 00:03:04,271
♪ So let's go back
to Other Rebecca. ♪
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00:03:04,314 --> 00:03:07,883
I have the Benjamin Button
disease. I'm 70!
93
00:03:10,929 --> 00:03:13,889
GREG: My dad was
the worst businessman.
94
00:03:13,932 --> 00:03:16,239
Everything's a mess.
Look at these invoices.
95
00:03:16,283 --> 00:03:19,199
"Stuff," "crap,"
"things," "junk."
96
00:03:19,242 --> 00:03:20,200
That's exactly how
they teach you
97
00:03:20,243 --> 00:03:21,418
to do it in
business school.
98
00:03:21,462 --> 00:03:23,420
Oh, I love these
old-school booths.
99
00:03:23,464 --> 00:03:24,769
Are you reupholstering
the leather?
100
00:03:24,813 --> 00:03:27,207
Dude, this is just a
pop-up for my senior thesis.
101
00:03:27,250 --> 00:03:28,338
I don't need
to go full-out.
102
00:03:28,382 --> 00:03:29,905
Vinyl could get
me the "A."
103
00:03:29,948 --> 00:03:31,602
Hmm. Yeah,
I don't know.
104
00:03:31,646 --> 00:03:33,169
When I'm having
a nice lasagna,
105
00:03:33,213 --> 00:03:35,215
I don't want my thighs
sticking to a synthetic.
106
00:03:35,258 --> 00:03:37,913
Okay, for that problem
I'm just gonna recommend pants.
107
00:03:37,956 --> 00:03:39,175
You would.
108
00:03:39,219 --> 00:03:40,437
Wait, and why are you doing
your thesis here
109
00:03:40,481 --> 00:03:41,569
and not in Atlanta?
110
00:03:41,612 --> 00:03:43,048
Access to a free
restaurant.
111
00:03:43,092 --> 00:03:45,312
And my professor's a sucker
for family businesses.
112
00:03:45,355 --> 00:03:46,878
Those are the reasons.
113
00:03:46,922 --> 00:03:48,315
Yeah, no, don't buy it.
114
00:03:48,358 --> 00:03:49,533
You're doing it
to be near Rebecca.
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00:03:49,577 --> 00:03:50,752
What? No.
116
00:03:50,795 --> 00:03:52,319
No, no, no.
You're insane.
117
00:03:52,362 --> 00:03:55,322
Oh. Okay. Uh-huh.
118
00:03:55,365 --> 00:03:56,671
NATHANIEL:
I think we have a real shot
119
00:03:56,714 --> 00:03:58,629
of getting your charges
reduced to manslaughter,
120
00:03:58,673 --> 00:04:01,371
shave off ten years.That's great. Thank you.
121
00:04:01,415 --> 00:04:03,678
Now, tell me why
you're really here.
122
00:04:06,028 --> 00:04:07,029
What do you mean?
123
00:04:07,072 --> 00:04:08,291
You're telling me
you're here for me
124
00:04:08,335 --> 00:04:09,292
and not because
you want something
125
00:04:09,336 --> 00:04:10,641
to talk about
with Rebecca?
126
00:04:10,685 --> 00:04:12,904
What? [chuckles]
127
00:04:12,948 --> 00:04:14,254
We're over.
128
00:04:14,297 --> 00:04:16,125
I mean, yeah, I
might've cracked a smile
129
00:04:16,168 --> 00:04:17,822
when I found out that
she broke up with Greg,
130
00:04:17,866 --> 00:04:19,911
but I'm not
pursuing her. No way.
131
00:04:19,955 --> 00:04:22,740
She's turned me down
so many times.
132
00:04:22,784 --> 00:04:24,002
Yeah, what a weirdo.
133
00:04:24,046 --> 00:04:27,919
Why would a 7.5
turn down a 9.6?
134
00:04:27,963 --> 00:04:29,269
I took .4 off
because your breath
135
00:04:29,312 --> 00:04:30,574
smells almost too good.
136
00:04:30,618 --> 00:04:33,403
Look, I know you care
about our cases,
137
00:04:33,447 --> 00:04:35,492
but you also want excuses
to talk to your ex.
138
00:04:35,536 --> 00:04:38,669
What? No. No, no, no.
You're insane.
139
00:04:38,713 --> 00:04:40,628
Your cases have nothing
to do with Rebecca.
140
00:04:40,671 --> 00:04:44,632
Oh, okay. Uh-huh.
141
00:04:44,675 --> 00:04:46,198
Hi, I was wondering,
um, a friend of mine
142
00:04:46,242 --> 00:04:48,157
is doing your
community theater revue.
143
00:04:48,200 --> 00:04:49,419
It's got me thinking, um,
144
00:04:49,463 --> 00:04:51,247
you guys need anyone
to work backstage?
145
00:04:51,291 --> 00:04:52,509
I'm a member of the community
146
00:04:52,553 --> 00:04:56,948
and really good
at lifting stuff.
147
00:04:56,992 --> 00:04:59,342
Okay, great. Thanks.
148
00:04:59,386 --> 00:05:01,649
[chuckles]
149
00:05:01,692 --> 00:05:03,955
[water bubbling]What?
150
00:05:03,999 --> 00:05:05,479
[bubbling]
151
00:05:05,522 --> 00:05:08,090
What? No.
No, no, no, you're insane.
152
00:05:08,133 --> 00:05:10,919
This volunteer tech stuff
has nothing to do with Rebecca.
153
00:05:10,962 --> 00:05:13,313
[bubbling]
154
00:05:22,017 --> 00:05:22,974
You okay?
155
00:05:23,018 --> 00:05:24,367
Yes. Totally refreshed,
156
00:05:24,411 --> 00:05:25,847
like I just stood
in a metal barrel
157
00:05:25,890 --> 00:05:27,109
and got sprayed
with freezing cold air.
158
00:05:28,110 --> 00:05:29,416
What's up?
159
00:05:29,459 --> 00:05:32,897
So...I have something
to ask you,
160
00:05:32,941 --> 00:05:34,290
and... it's kind
of a big deal.
161
00:05:34,334 --> 00:05:35,335
My answer is yes!
162
00:05:35,378 --> 00:05:37,424
I didn't ask you
anything yet.
163
00:05:37,467 --> 00:05:40,252
Sorry.
164
00:05:40,296 --> 00:05:41,297
Go ahead.
165
00:05:41,341 --> 00:05:43,560
Hear me out. Because
if we do this,
166
00:05:43,604 --> 00:05:44,866
people are gonna
think we're nuts,
167
00:05:44,909 --> 00:05:46,215
that we're moving
too quickly.
168
00:05:46,258 --> 00:05:47,434
Oh, I don't care
what other people think.
169
00:05:47,477 --> 00:05:49,349
Never do.
I mean, I did for a long time,
170
00:05:49,392 --> 00:05:50,437
but now I don't. Go.
171
00:05:50,480 --> 00:05:51,742
Here it is.Okay.
172
00:05:51,786 --> 00:05:52,743
Three little words.
173
00:05:52,787 --> 00:05:55,398
Jersey City condominium.
174
00:05:56,704 --> 00:05:59,271
I get it. You're thinking,
"Jersey City. No way."
175
00:05:59,315 --> 00:06:02,623
But it's up and coming,
and I found a place
176
00:06:02,666 --> 00:06:04,755
with a surprisingly
cheap mortgage
177
00:06:04,799 --> 00:06:07,628
because it's right
over an underpass.
178
00:06:07,671 --> 00:06:10,326
I had coffee with your
mom. She's excited.
179
00:06:10,370 --> 00:06:13,764
We have her blessing.
She's co-signing!
180
00:06:13,808 --> 00:06:16,201
So what do you think?
181
00:06:16,245 --> 00:06:18,116
We have to apply as
soon as we get back.
182
00:06:18,160 --> 00:06:20,249
Get back? Oh.
183
00:06:20,292 --> 00:06:22,207
I'm not going back
to New York next week.
184
00:06:22,251 --> 00:06:23,208
I didn't tell you.
185
00:06:23,252 --> 00:06:25,776
I'm doing a play.
186
00:06:25,820 --> 00:06:27,909
Here in West Covina.
187
00:06:27,952 --> 00:06:30,172
A play?Yep, yep, yep, sorry,
188
00:06:30,215 --> 00:06:32,043
I committedalready.
189
00:06:32,087 --> 00:06:35,482
Rebecca's doing it, too.
She proposedI join her.
190
00:06:35,525 --> 00:06:37,005
It's a three-night run.
191
00:06:37,048 --> 00:06:39,790
It's gonna be quite
an engagement.
192
00:06:39,834 --> 00:06:41,836
I'm sorry, I have to go.
193
00:06:48,408 --> 00:06:50,671
Hey, so, uh, what made you
change your mind, huh?
194
00:06:50,714 --> 00:06:52,150
Was it something
that Beth said?
195
00:06:52,194 --> 00:06:54,239
Uh, actually, it was something
she didn't say.
196
00:06:54,283 --> 00:06:56,241
I was expecting a ring
and I didn't get one,
197
00:06:56,285 --> 00:06:59,027
so now I'm not sure if I even
want to go back to New York.
198
00:06:59,070 --> 00:07:00,550
Oh.
199
00:07:00,594 --> 00:07:03,684
So, are you kind of having
a temper tantrum right now?
200
00:07:03,727 --> 00:07:04,685
No, I am not
201
00:07:04,728 --> 00:07:06,121
having a tantrum,
I'm just doing
202
00:07:06,164 --> 00:07:07,296
a community theater
musical revue
203
00:07:07,339 --> 00:07:08,776
so I don't have to talk
to my girlfriend!
204
00:07:08,819 --> 00:07:10,255
Okay, okay, well,
that's okay.
205
00:07:10,299 --> 00:07:12,780
Well, I'm just happy to
have you here with me.
206
00:07:12,823 --> 00:07:15,696
[exhales]
This is it, Valencia.
207
00:07:15,739 --> 00:07:18,394
No. I'm home.
208
00:07:18,438 --> 00:07:20,570
This. This is where
I'm meant to be.
209
00:07:20,614 --> 00:07:24,052
Hmm, you've never
actually done this before.
210
00:07:24,095 --> 00:07:26,141
Are you sure it'll be
everything you want it to be?
211
00:07:26,184 --> 00:07:27,534
Correction, I have
done it before.
212
00:07:27,577 --> 00:07:29,144
In camp, in college,
and in prison.
213
00:07:29,187 --> 00:07:31,146
But those times
were different,
214
00:07:31,189 --> 00:07:34,149
because I was doing it
for fun... not now.
215
00:07:34,192 --> 00:07:37,152
Now's real.Hmm.
216
00:07:37,195 --> 00:07:38,283
And whatever this
turns out to be,
217
00:07:38,327 --> 00:07:41,156
I think it can
make me happy.
218
00:07:41,199 --> 00:07:43,158
Truly happy.
219
00:07:43,201 --> 00:07:44,289
But what
if it doesn't?
220
00:07:44,333 --> 00:07:46,378
And I'm telling you
from experience,
221
00:07:46,422 --> 00:07:48,685
sometimes the thing
or person you think
222
00:07:48,729 --> 00:07:51,427
will make you
happy... doesn't.
223
00:07:55,431 --> 00:07:57,215
Nah.
224
00:08:02,917 --> 00:08:04,484
♪
225
00:08:17,279 --> 00:08:18,672
Hey, V. Hey, Becks.
226
00:08:18,715 --> 00:08:19,673
Hey, Josh,
what are you doing here?
227
00:08:19,716 --> 00:08:21,022
Did I leave something at home?
228
00:08:21,065 --> 00:08:23,720
No, I just saw how excited
you were about this,
229
00:08:23,764 --> 00:08:26,767
and it reminded me...
separately,
230
00:08:26,810 --> 00:08:29,073
of how much I loved
doing theater tech.
231
00:08:29,117 --> 00:08:30,510
So here I am!
232
00:08:30,553 --> 00:08:31,685
[chuckles]
233
00:08:31,728 --> 00:08:33,034
Again, like, separately.
234
00:08:33,077 --> 00:08:35,776
Well, dude, that's awesome.
235
00:08:35,819 --> 00:08:37,125
Oh.
236
00:08:37,168 --> 00:08:38,474
Well, I got to go carry
some cubes
237
00:08:38,518 --> 00:08:39,519
and paint a little house
238
00:08:39,562 --> 00:08:40,607
to make it look like
a big house
239
00:08:40,650 --> 00:08:41,608
from a far distance.
240
00:08:41,651 --> 00:08:43,740
Theater magic!
[chuckles]
241
00:08:43,784 --> 00:08:46,395
That's nice.
TIM: Alas, poor Yorick!
242
00:08:47,744 --> 00:08:48,745
Uh, Rebecca?
243
00:08:48,789 --> 00:08:50,399
There's a mentally
disturbed man
244
00:08:50,442 --> 00:08:51,792
in poofy shorts
with chicken legs
245
00:08:51,835 --> 00:08:53,837
walking towards us.
246
00:08:53,881 --> 00:08:55,752
Oh, dear.
That's Tim from MountainTop.
247
00:08:55,796 --> 00:08:58,363
Hi, Tim.Greetings,
fair maidens.
248
00:08:58,407 --> 00:09:01,845
Be it that "hereforeto"
I am his royalty,
249
00:09:01,889 --> 00:09:03,543
the knightly prince.
250
00:09:03,586 --> 00:09:05,109
Wait, these are
just the auditions.
251
00:09:05,153 --> 00:09:06,546
You already know
you have the prince song?
252
00:09:06,589 --> 00:09:08,417
[chuckling]:
No, no, no, no, no, no.
253
00:09:08,460 --> 00:09:10,332
But, uh...
[whispers]: I'm gonna get it.
254
00:09:10,375 --> 00:09:12,247
I get all the best parts
at this theater.
255
00:09:12,290 --> 00:09:13,465
[door opens]
256
00:09:13,509 --> 00:09:16,033
Ah! Here she comes.
257
00:09:16,077 --> 00:09:17,469
Here comes Connie, our director.
258
00:09:17,513 --> 00:09:19,776
She's the best.
You're gonna love her.
259
00:09:19,820 --> 00:09:21,082
Hello, everyone.
260
00:09:21,125 --> 00:09:22,213
WOMAN: Hi, Connie.[others greet]
261
00:09:22,257 --> 00:09:23,867
And welcome...
262
00:09:23,911 --> 00:09:26,217
to this...
263
00:09:26,261 --> 00:09:28,524
gorgeous temple
264
00:09:28,568 --> 00:09:31,396
we call... the theater.
265
00:09:31,440 --> 00:09:33,137
Join me, won't you?
266
00:09:33,181 --> 00:09:35,400
As we hop on our magic carpets
267
00:09:35,444 --> 00:09:38,708
and fly into the glorious chasm
that is...
268
00:09:38,752 --> 00:09:41,145
the Elliot Ellison songbook.
269
00:09:41,189 --> 00:09:42,886
He's won 14 Tonys,
270
00:09:42,930 --> 00:09:44,453
two Oscars, eight Emmys,
271
00:09:44,496 --> 00:09:46,237
eight Grammys,
272
00:09:46,281 --> 00:09:48,631
and one Kids' Choice award.
273
00:09:48,675 --> 00:09:51,155
The children know.
They certainly do.
274
00:09:51,199 --> 00:09:52,766
Now, to be fair
275
00:09:52,809 --> 00:09:55,333
to everyone, I'd like you all
to sing the same song.
276
00:09:55,377 --> 00:09:56,770
It's the beloved
277
00:09:56,813 --> 00:10:00,556
Elliot Ellison classic
"Let Me Be in Your Show"
278
00:10:00,600 --> 00:10:02,253
from the seminal play
279
00:10:02,297 --> 00:10:04,255
Let Me Be in Your Show.
280
00:10:04,299 --> 00:10:06,040
To the stage!
281
00:10:06,083 --> 00:10:07,650
[energetic piano playing]
282
00:10:10,740 --> 00:10:13,047
♪ Let me be in your show
283
00:10:13,090 --> 00:10:16,485
♪ I wanna be in your show
284
00:10:16,528 --> 00:10:18,661
♪ The lights, the curtains,
the applause ♪
285
00:10:18,705 --> 00:10:22,273
♪ From above and down below!
286
00:10:22,317 --> 00:10:24,928
♪ Just like everyone knows
287
00:10:24,972 --> 00:10:28,192
♪ No need to assume or suppose
288
00:10:28,236 --> 00:10:30,542
♪ How fun it will be
for you and me ♪
289
00:10:30,586 --> 00:10:32,283
♪ To be
290
00:10:32,327 --> 00:10:33,894
♪ In this marvelous
291
00:10:33,937 --> 00:10:36,157
♪ Show!
292
00:10:36,200 --> 00:10:38,768
[piano ends song][panting]
293
00:10:38,812 --> 00:10:41,379
Singing: zero.
294
00:10:41,423 --> 00:10:43,425
Commitment: a million.
295
00:10:45,732 --> 00:10:47,734
CONNIE:
Thank you, everyone.
296
00:10:47,777 --> 00:10:49,692
Tim, once again,
297
00:10:49,736 --> 00:10:51,781
you are our bulwark.
298
00:10:53,130 --> 00:10:56,177
Our stalwart.
Our Walmart.
299
00:10:56,220 --> 00:10:57,918
We can always depend on you.
300
00:10:57,961 --> 00:10:59,702
That's why
301
00:10:59,746 --> 00:11:02,270
the role of the prince
goes to...
302
00:11:02,313 --> 00:11:04,054
[trumpet fanfare plays]
303
00:11:05,752 --> 00:11:08,015
I'm sorry.
I-I was just tuning up.
304
00:11:08,058 --> 00:11:09,973
Sorry to interrupt.
305
00:11:10,017 --> 00:11:11,322
You! Halt!
306
00:11:12,672 --> 00:11:14,021
Approach.
307
00:11:14,064 --> 00:11:15,413
Hey.
308
00:11:15,457 --> 00:11:16,632
You, sir,
309
00:11:16,676 --> 00:11:17,894
must audition.
310
00:11:17,938 --> 00:11:19,374
NATHANIEL:
What? No, no.
311
00:11:19,417 --> 00:11:21,202
I'm just here to drop off
some legal papers for her.
312
00:11:21,245 --> 00:11:22,856
No, no,
but-but you must.
313
00:11:22,899 --> 00:11:24,466
You must, you see.REBECCA: No, no, no, no, no.
314
00:11:24,509 --> 00:11:26,163
He does not want to audition.
315
00:11:26,207 --> 00:11:28,122
Believe me, I mean,
he's never even done theater.
316
00:11:28,165 --> 00:11:29,210
That's not entirely true.
317
00:11:29,253 --> 00:11:31,255
In high school,
the theater director
318
00:11:31,299 --> 00:11:33,127
begged me,
so in my sports off-season,
319
00:11:33,170 --> 00:11:34,737
I-I did a couple musicals.
320
00:11:34,781 --> 00:11:35,912
Wait, what?
321
00:11:35,956 --> 00:11:37,609
Really? Who did you play?
322
00:11:37,653 --> 00:11:39,786
You know, I don't
really remember, um...
323
00:11:39,829 --> 00:11:42,484
I think I played Jesus a couple
times, if that's even possible.
324
00:11:42,527 --> 00:11:45,269
You played Jesus
in Jesus Christ Superstar
325
00:11:45,313 --> 00:11:46,880
and in Godspell?
326
00:11:46,923 --> 00:11:49,230
Guilty.
327
00:11:49,273 --> 00:11:51,449
Please, sing! Sing anything!
328
00:11:51,493 --> 00:11:52,450
Okay, um...
329
00:11:52,494 --> 00:11:55,236
♪ A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I...
330
00:11:55,279 --> 00:11:57,673
It is done.
331
00:11:57,717 --> 00:12:00,241
You are our prince.
332
00:12:01,546 --> 00:12:03,113
What say you, sir?
333
00:12:03,157 --> 00:12:05,463
Oh, word of warning,
you will have
334
00:12:05,507 --> 00:12:07,770
to completely put
your life on hold
335
00:12:07,814 --> 00:12:09,990
and spend every waking hour
336
00:12:10,033 --> 00:12:11,992
with these people here.
337
00:12:15,952 --> 00:12:17,127
Okay.
338
00:12:17,171 --> 00:12:18,999
I mean, I-I think,
since we can all agree
339
00:12:19,042 --> 00:12:20,348
that I'm not
the driving force here
340
00:12:20,391 --> 00:12:21,871
and that someone else
is asking me
341
00:12:21,915 --> 00:12:24,395
to spend time here
with all of you...
342
00:12:25,440 --> 00:12:28,138
Sure.
What? No.
343
00:12:28,182 --> 00:12:29,574
What? No.
344
00:12:29,618 --> 00:12:32,577
We... have... our prince.
345
00:12:32,621 --> 00:12:34,579
[chuckles]The rest of you,
346
00:12:34,623 --> 00:12:37,757
I will post your parts
backstage in 15 minutes.
347
00:12:39,193 --> 00:12:40,063
Glorious!
348
00:12:42,544 --> 00:12:44,720
[sighs, laughs]
349
00:12:44,764 --> 00:12:46,200
This is my space.
350
00:12:46,243 --> 00:12:48,463
This is my time to shine.
351
00:12:48,506 --> 00:12:49,551
If I'm not getting the prince,
352
00:12:49,594 --> 00:12:51,422
then I'd better get
something good.
353
00:12:51,466 --> 00:12:55,426
Wow, I am so, so happy
about Cybil's case.
354
00:12:55,470 --> 00:12:58,342
I can't believe you got her
a new trial. It's amazing.
355
00:12:58,386 --> 00:13:01,519
And I can't believe
you are doing a musical.
356
00:13:01,563 --> 00:13:03,260
Yeah, well,
I need hobbies.
357
00:13:03,304 --> 00:13:05,349
I stopped shooting ducks 'cause
of the whole good person thing,
358
00:13:05,393 --> 00:13:06,873
so I got a lot
of free time.
359
00:13:06,916 --> 00:13:08,570
It's time!
360
00:13:08,613 --> 00:13:12,139
[squeals] I'm squealing!
Why am I squealing?
361
00:13:12,182 --> 00:13:13,880
Before you examine the list,
362
00:13:13,923 --> 00:13:18,145
just know that I gave you
the song I felt best suited
363
00:13:18,188 --> 00:13:19,450
your skill as well
364
00:13:19,494 --> 00:13:20,887
as your essence.
365
00:13:20,930 --> 00:13:22,932
I'll see you all
tomorrow
366
00:13:22,976 --> 00:13:25,500
for rehearsal at 7:15 sharp.
367
00:13:25,543 --> 00:13:29,547
Or 7:45, or whenever
you get there. [laughs]
368
00:13:29,591 --> 00:13:30,940
I'm bound to be late myself.
369
00:13:30,984 --> 00:13:32,507
[laughs] So...
370
00:13:32,550 --> 00:13:34,117
see you soon!
371
00:13:36,163 --> 00:13:37,947
[murmuring]
372
00:13:37,991 --> 00:13:40,341
What is it? What is it?
What did I get?
373
00:13:44,693 --> 00:13:47,739
A character song?
374
00:13:47,783 --> 00:13:51,047
An unnecessary, forgettable,
375
00:13:51,091 --> 00:13:53,484
cuttable character song?
376
00:13:53,528 --> 00:13:54,921
VALENCIA:
Oh, my God.
377
00:13:54,964 --> 00:13:58,576
I got a song called "I'm
the Bride of a Pirate King."
378
00:13:58,620 --> 00:14:00,622
[laughs] I'm gonna be a bride!
379
00:14:00,665 --> 00:14:03,843
Who needs my size? It's sample.
380
00:14:03,886 --> 00:14:07,324
[groans]
381
00:14:07,368 --> 00:14:08,760
Okay.
382
00:14:12,112 --> 00:14:13,504
Oh, my God!
383
00:14:13,548 --> 00:14:15,289
I got "Etta Mae's Lament."
384
00:14:15,332 --> 00:14:17,378
Oh, my God, that's, like,
one of his most famous songs.
385
00:14:17,421 --> 00:14:19,597
It's a classic comedy song.
Uh, Ethel Merman sang it,
386
00:14:19,641 --> 00:14:21,425
and then Gwen Verdon
sang it in the revival,
387
00:14:21,469 --> 00:14:23,514
and then Bernadette Peters
sang it in the second revival,
388
00:14:23,558 --> 00:14:25,299
and then Michelle Obama
sang it on Glee.
389
00:14:25,342 --> 00:14:27,518
Oh...Wow, what an honor.
390
00:14:27,562 --> 00:14:29,564
Well, what's it about?Oh, it's about
391
00:14:29,607 --> 00:14:31,827
a sad saloon girl
in the Old West
392
00:14:31,871 --> 00:14:33,698
who just wants
to find true love.
393
00:14:33,742 --> 00:14:36,223
Sounds a little old-fashioned.No! No, no.
394
00:14:36,266 --> 00:14:38,834
It's great. It's just...
It's a classic.
395
00:14:38,878 --> 00:14:40,053
[chuckles]
396
00:14:40,096 --> 00:14:42,969
I really can't believe
I got such a great song.
397
00:14:43,012 --> 00:14:44,622
[laughs]
398
00:14:48,365 --> 00:14:49,671
[elevator bell dings]
399
00:14:51,978 --> 00:14:53,544
How was it?
How was your interview?
400
00:14:53,588 --> 00:14:55,372
Wait, don't tell me.
It's too painful.
401
00:14:55,416 --> 00:14:56,939
If you liked it
better there,
402
00:14:56,983 --> 00:14:59,463
I will lose it. [sniffles]
Did you like it better there?
403
00:14:59,507 --> 00:15:01,552
Get a hold of yourself.
It was just my first interview.
404
00:15:01,596 --> 00:15:03,163
First? There'll be more?Yes.
405
00:15:03,206 --> 00:15:05,513
I was top of my class,
I won awards,
406
00:15:05,556 --> 00:15:07,689
so, you know, a lot of firms
407
00:15:07,732 --> 00:15:09,560
reached out to me for jobs.
408
00:15:09,604 --> 00:15:12,607
But, Paula, you have a job
right here with us, forever.
409
00:15:12,650 --> 00:15:14,043
You could be
a lawyer here.
410
00:15:14,087 --> 00:15:17,481
Everyone wants you.
Bert, Nathaniel, me most of all.
411
00:15:17,525 --> 00:15:19,657
Okay, look, I-I appreciate that,
412
00:15:19,701 --> 00:15:23,357
but I have to see
what the official offers are.
413
00:15:23,400 --> 00:15:27,274
Oh. Oh! I see
what you want.
414
00:15:27,317 --> 00:15:29,276
You want an official offer
from us, too.
415
00:15:29,319 --> 00:15:32,670
Well, that's how it works.
416
00:15:32,714 --> 00:15:35,195
Right, yeah, okay.
417
00:15:35,238 --> 00:15:37,371
I see the game you're playing.
[clicks tongue]
418
00:15:37,414 --> 00:15:38,676
No, I'm-I'm not playing a game.
419
00:15:38,720 --> 00:15:40,026
No, I got it. Copy that.
420
00:15:40,069 --> 00:15:42,637
That's just how it works, so...Okay.
421
00:15:42,680 --> 00:15:44,944
Right. Wink, wink. I get you.
422
00:15:44,987 --> 00:15:46,641
[whispering]:
Official offer.
423
00:15:46,684 --> 00:15:48,773
GREG:
So I was thinking
424
00:15:48,817 --> 00:15:50,601
for the soft opening
we do
425
00:15:50,645 --> 00:15:53,039
three appetizer
and entree options.
426
00:15:53,082 --> 00:15:55,780
It's must more cost effective
than doing a full menu.
427
00:15:55,824 --> 00:15:57,173
Serrano!
428
00:15:57,217 --> 00:15:59,306
Chris, buddy!
429
00:15:59,349 --> 00:16:02,657
Look at you. Wait,
what are you doing here?
430
00:16:02,700 --> 00:16:05,007
Well, I was driving by and
saw some people in here,
431
00:16:05,051 --> 00:16:06,313
so I thought
I'd stop in.
432
00:16:06,356 --> 00:16:09,098
Wait, you drive?I know, it's disturbing.
433
00:16:09,142 --> 00:16:11,013
He was, like, ten years old
five seconds ago.
434
00:16:11,057 --> 00:16:14,538
So tall.
Oh, God, grown-ups are so weird.
435
00:16:14,582 --> 00:16:17,019
Constantly commenting,
"Oh, look at how tall you got."
436
00:16:17,063 --> 00:16:19,804
Yeah, I eat, I sleep,
this is what happens.
437
00:16:19,848 --> 00:16:22,372
Aw, I missed you, man.
438
00:16:22,416 --> 00:16:25,071
Look at this place.
This looks cool.
439
00:16:25,114 --> 00:16:27,899
Yeah, getting it ready for a
soft opening in a couple weeks.
440
00:16:27,943 --> 00:16:29,945
Oh, yeah,
I looked at the calendar.
441
00:16:29,989 --> 00:16:31,599
Turns out our opening
is the same night
442
00:16:31,642 --> 00:16:34,863
as that super cool revue,
so we might have to miss it.
443
00:16:34,906 --> 00:16:36,386
I'm so sad.
444
00:16:36,430 --> 00:16:38,127
I hate musical
theater.
445
00:16:38,171 --> 00:16:39,999
People are talking and then
they just start singing,
446
00:16:40,042 --> 00:16:42,392
and it's always
just, like, what?
447
00:16:42,436 --> 00:16:43,480
CHRIS:
Yeah, so,
448
00:16:43,524 --> 00:16:44,916
Serrano, talk to me
about your menu.
449
00:16:44,960 --> 00:16:46,570
Ah, you might not like it.
450
00:16:46,614 --> 00:16:48,268
It's not like
the Italian chains.
451
00:16:48,311 --> 00:16:51,401
It's authentic and homemade
and doesn't come with fries.
452
00:16:51,445 --> 00:16:53,012
Dude, I'll have you know,
453
00:16:53,055 --> 00:16:55,101
I'm the food critic
for the Daily Covina.
454
00:16:55,144 --> 00:16:56,972
All right, well, then
you could try the lasagna,
455
00:16:57,016 --> 00:16:58,234
but I got to warn you,
456
00:16:58,278 --> 00:17:00,541
we put actual tomatoes
in our tomato sauce.
457
00:17:00,584 --> 00:17:01,716
Are they Roma or San Marzano?
458
00:17:01,759 --> 00:17:03,674
They're actually...Wait! Don't tell me.
459
00:17:03,718 --> 00:17:05,676
My taste buds will.
460
00:17:05,720 --> 00:17:07,678
Okay, come on.
461
00:17:07,722 --> 00:17:10,333
So, according to the Broadway
message board on Quimblepop,
462
00:17:10,377 --> 00:17:12,901
the first step to learning
a song for a musical
463
00:17:12,944 --> 00:17:14,946
is to memorize the
lyrics as a monologue.
464
00:17:14,990 --> 00:17:16,600
Cool.
It's so funny,
465
00:17:16,644 --> 00:17:18,733
I've been listening to
this song since I was a kid,
466
00:17:18,776 --> 00:17:20,430
but I've never really
studied the lyrics, you know?
467
00:17:20,474 --> 00:17:21,692
What a journey.
468
00:17:25,783 --> 00:17:26,741
Huh.
469
00:17:26,784 --> 00:17:28,743
What's wrong?It's just,
470
00:17:28,786 --> 00:17:30,745
uh, the-the-the lyrics
are a little more,
471
00:17:30,788 --> 00:17:33,095
uh, retro than I remember.
472
00:17:33,139 --> 00:17:34,662
Oh. Is that a problem?
473
00:17:34,705 --> 00:17:36,751
No, no, no. It's not.
474
00:17:36,794 --> 00:17:39,058
I'm sure, once I rehearse it,
it'll make sense.
475
00:17:39,101 --> 00:17:40,711
Yeah.
[piano playing]
476
00:17:40,755 --> 00:17:41,973
Yeah.
477
00:17:44,498 --> 00:17:47,805
[Southern accent]:
♪ I'm the local lady of the evenin' ♪
478
00:17:47,849 --> 00:17:48,980
♪ And though I like
479
00:17:49,024 --> 00:17:52,071
♪ My men and my booze
480
00:17:52,114 --> 00:17:55,857
♪ I pray to above
that I'll find true love ♪
481
00:17:55,900 --> 00:17:58,642
♪ But no one wants
a lady who's used ♪
482
00:17:58,686 --> 00:18:00,775
[chuckles]♪ Oh, can someone
483
00:18:00,818 --> 00:18:02,733
♪ Lasso me a husband?
484
00:18:02,777 --> 00:18:06,346
♪ I'm nothin'
without a husband ♪
485
00:18:06,389 --> 00:18:08,174
♪ The menfolk
486
00:18:08,217 --> 00:18:10,959
♪ Give me a dollar and a smile
487
00:18:11,002 --> 00:18:14,615
♪ But that don't lead
to walkin' down the aisle ♪
488
00:18:14,658 --> 00:18:17,879
♪ Hey, cowboy,
can you lasso me a husband? ♪
489
00:18:17,922 --> 00:18:20,664
♪ Though my lover count
is over a dozen ♪
490
00:18:22,405 --> 00:18:25,321
♪ Yes, the kissin' is fun
and the wine is sweet ♪
491
00:18:25,365 --> 00:18:28,585
♪ But what I really want
at night is to rub ♪
492
00:18:28,629 --> 00:18:30,109
♪ A farmer's feet... Yes.
493
00:18:30,152 --> 00:18:33,286
♪ Get me off of my back
494
00:18:33,329 --> 00:18:34,678
♪ And standing up straight
495
00:18:34,722 --> 00:18:36,680
♪ So I can be the type of lady
496
00:18:36,724 --> 00:18:38,421
♪ That you're not
ashamed to date ♪
497
00:18:38,465 --> 00:18:40,815
♪ Get me out of the cathouse
498
00:18:40,858 --> 00:18:42,860
♪ And into the kitchen
499
00:18:42,904 --> 00:18:44,688
♪ I'll wear white
and pray to martyrs ♪
500
00:18:44,732 --> 00:18:46,516
♪ I'll trade in
my guns and garters ♪
501
00:18:46,560 --> 00:18:49,954
♪ 'Cause there are only
two types of women ♪
502
00:18:49,998 --> 00:18:53,828
♪ Me and virgins you commit to
503
00:18:53,871 --> 00:18:57,223
♪ Can someone lasso me
a husband? ♪
504
00:18:57,266 --> 00:19:00,269
♪ Why are you all
bein' so stubbin'? ♪
505
00:19:00,313 --> 00:19:01,749
[laughs]
506
00:19:01,792 --> 00:19:04,752
♪ I'm angry and pleased
and a little bit diseased ♪
507
00:19:04,795 --> 00:19:05,883
♪ But you can cure
508
00:19:05,927 --> 00:19:08,843
♪ My ills with a husband.
509
00:19:08,886 --> 00:19:10,714
Oh![applause, cheering]
510
00:19:10,758 --> 00:19:13,282
Oh!
511
00:19:13,326 --> 00:19:14,544
Hilarious!
512
00:19:14,588 --> 00:19:16,242
REBECCA:
I thought it stunk.
513
00:19:16,285 --> 00:19:17,895
Okay, I get it.
514
00:19:17,939 --> 00:19:21,464
You're maybe not the world's
most flawless singer.
515
00:19:21,508 --> 00:19:23,553
I-I can hook you up with
lessons with Aunt Myrna.
516
00:19:23,597 --> 00:19:25,338
No, no, no, no, no.
It's-it's-it's not that.
517
00:19:25,381 --> 00:19:27,905
I mean, I know that I'm
not a great singer, but...
518
00:19:27,949 --> 00:19:30,473
All right, I know we shouldn't
hold these classic songs
519
00:19:30,517 --> 00:19:31,909
up to our
modern standards,
520
00:19:31,953 --> 00:19:33,868
but, God,
521
00:19:33,911 --> 00:19:36,566
this whole song is
just so problematic.
522
00:19:36,610 --> 00:19:40,091
You know? It plays right into
the Madonna-whore complex
523
00:19:40,135 --> 00:19:43,660
and manages to say that a
woman belongs in a kitchen.
524
00:19:43,704 --> 00:19:44,879
Huh.
525
00:19:44,922 --> 00:19:46,446
You know, in the
musical this is from,
526
00:19:46,489 --> 00:19:47,882
Saloon Nights
and Injun Fights...
527
00:19:47,925 --> 00:19:50,232
It's not actually
called that. No, yeah, it is.
528
00:19:50,276 --> 00:19:54,236
Anyway, the character who sings
this song is a successful madam,
529
00:19:54,280 --> 00:19:55,716
all right, so she's
a thriving businesswoman,
530
00:19:55,759 --> 00:19:58,153
but she says that she'd be
willing to give it all up
531
00:19:58,197 --> 00:19:59,850
to be walked
down the aisle?
532
00:19:59,894 --> 00:20:02,636
I mean, what-what kind
of messaging is that?
533
00:20:02,679 --> 00:20:04,551
But beyond all of that...
534
00:20:04,594 --> 00:20:07,554
the song just...
535
00:20:07,597 --> 00:20:09,208
it's kind of dumb.
536
00:20:09,251 --> 00:20:11,253
What if these classic
musical theater songs
537
00:20:11,297 --> 00:20:13,386
that I've loved
for so many years
538
00:20:13,429 --> 00:20:18,173
and kind of based
my life on are... bad?
539
00:20:18,217 --> 00:20:19,696
[piano playing]
540
00:20:27,095 --> 00:20:30,490
Sir, your Chateau Lamontaine.
541
00:20:30,533 --> 00:20:31,882
Oh, the aught-one.
542
00:20:31,926 --> 00:20:33,406
It's not every day
someone orders
543
00:20:33,449 --> 00:20:36,539
a bottle of the Lamontaine.
We wanted to see who it was.
544
00:20:36,583 --> 00:20:38,106
It's me.
545
00:20:38,149 --> 00:20:40,326
Yes, I came in especially.
I'm not even working today.
546
00:20:40,369 --> 00:20:42,502
And what are you
celebrating? Well,
547
00:20:42,545 --> 00:20:45,156
hopefully the hiring of someone
who already works for me.
548
00:20:45,200 --> 00:20:46,157
Hmm.
549
00:20:46,201 --> 00:20:47,289
Oh! There she is.Oh.
550
00:20:47,333 --> 00:20:49,378
Hi.
551
00:20:51,424 --> 00:20:53,513
Whoa.
552
00:20:53,556 --> 00:20:55,776
It's a Lamontaine.Mm-hmm.
553
00:20:55,819 --> 00:20:58,344
Wow. I-I always look at that
bottle on the menu and I wonder,
554
00:20:58,387 --> 00:21:00,476
"Who spends that much on wine?"
555
00:21:00,520 --> 00:21:01,956
[chuckles]
556
00:21:01,999 --> 00:21:03,305
But, seriously, we're gonna
need separate checks.
557
00:21:03,349 --> 00:21:05,394
Oh, don't be ridiculous.
This is on me.
558
00:21:05,438 --> 00:21:06,874
All of it. The wine,
559
00:21:06,917 --> 00:21:09,920
the chevre, the tartare,
the confit.
560
00:21:09,964 --> 00:21:11,182
Okay, Darryl, what's happening?
561
00:21:12,619 --> 00:21:14,708
This is happening.
562
00:21:14,751 --> 00:21:17,276
Is this my offer?
563
00:21:17,319 --> 00:21:19,713
I did the calligraphy
myself, yes.
564
00:21:19,756 --> 00:21:21,671
Oh, I wanted it
to be special and fancy.
565
00:21:21,715 --> 00:21:23,934
Those other firms...
566
00:21:23,978 --> 00:21:25,196
I'm sure that they've got
water fountains
567
00:21:25,240 --> 00:21:28,287
just spouting Lamontaine
all over the place.
568
00:21:29,375 --> 00:21:31,725
Um, well, okay. Thank you.
569
00:21:31,768 --> 00:21:35,337
Aw.
And I will compare it with the others
570
00:21:35,381 --> 00:21:37,339
that will come...
571
00:21:37,383 --> 00:21:38,427
via e-mail.
572
00:21:38,471 --> 00:21:39,863
[sighs]
573
00:21:39,907 --> 00:21:42,126
Can we just have
a normal dinner now?Hmm.
574
00:21:42,170 --> 00:21:43,780
Maybe not.
575
00:21:43,824 --> 00:21:46,261
I got a whole porchetta.
576
00:21:47,480 --> 00:21:49,264
Too much?
577
00:21:49,308 --> 00:21:51,135
REBECCA:
"I'm the local lady of the evening.
578
00:21:51,179 --> 00:21:52,659
"And though I like my men
579
00:21:52,702 --> 00:21:54,138
and my booze..."
580
00:21:54,182 --> 00:21:56,402
Right, Connie said
"booze" was...
581
00:21:56,445 --> 00:21:58,099
the word to do the funniest.
582
00:21:58,142 --> 00:22:00,493
Okay, "and I like my men
and my booze."
583
00:22:00,536 --> 00:22:01,842
[groans]
584
00:22:01,885 --> 00:22:04,410
"I pray to above..."
[sighs]
585
00:22:04,453 --> 00:22:06,499
"I pray to above...
586
00:22:06,542 --> 00:22:08,196
"that I'll find true love,
587
00:22:08,239 --> 00:22:11,112
but no one wants
a lady who's used."
588
00:22:11,155 --> 00:22:12,374
Oh, God.
589
00:22:12,418 --> 00:22:14,333
"I'm nothing without a husband.
590
00:22:14,376 --> 00:22:16,378
"I'm nothing, I'm nothing
without a husband.
591
00:22:16,422 --> 00:22:18,119
I'm n..."
Who's telling her that, though?
592
00:22:18,162 --> 00:22:20,948
Is that her saying that's she's
nothing without a husband?
593
00:22:20,991 --> 00:22:22,819
Huh.
594
00:22:51,152 --> 00:22:52,936
[sharp inhale]
595
00:22:52,980 --> 00:22:54,982
[exhales slowly]
596
00:23:03,077 --> 00:23:05,906
[mouth full]:
"But I need mutual respect when I walk down the aisle.
597
00:23:05,949 --> 00:23:08,648
This cowboy,
can you lasso me a husband?"
598
00:23:11,085 --> 00:23:13,740
"Though my lover count
is over..."
599
00:23:13,783 --> 00:23:16,438
[mouth full]:
"I could be in the cathouse and the kitchen."
600
00:23:16,482 --> 00:23:20,094
Mm-hmm. Mm, mm, mm.
601
00:23:20,137 --> 00:23:21,443
Yeah. Okay, that works.
602
00:23:21,487 --> 00:23:23,140
Hey, guys.
603
00:23:23,184 --> 00:23:25,012
Guess what.
604
00:23:25,055 --> 00:23:26,796
I have huge news.Did you talk to Beth?
605
00:23:26,840 --> 00:23:28,450
What? No.
606
00:23:28,494 --> 00:23:30,321
Okay, so I was going
over this song last night
607
00:23:30,365 --> 00:23:31,627
and I wasn't connecting with it
608
00:23:31,671 --> 00:23:33,455
and I was going over it
and over it and over it.
609
00:23:33,499 --> 00:23:34,978
Then I picked up a pencil
610
00:23:35,022 --> 00:23:37,503
and I started
to make some notes.
611
00:23:37,546 --> 00:23:39,243
And then I...
612
00:23:39,287 --> 00:23:40,854
tweaked a few little lyrics.
613
00:23:40,897 --> 00:23:43,291
And I got to say...
614
00:23:43,334 --> 00:23:45,424
it's like night and day,
it's so much better.
615
00:23:45,467 --> 00:23:47,817
Wait, we're not allowed
to rewrite the lyrics, are we?
616
00:23:47,861 --> 00:23:49,689
I mean, not that I would
want to; mine's perfect.
617
00:23:49,732 --> 00:23:52,692
I'm playing a bride.Actually, your song is
also super problematic.
618
00:23:52,735 --> 00:23:54,476
We can talk
about that later.
619
00:23:54,520 --> 00:23:57,044
But, no, I didn't really
rewrite anything, per se,
620
00:23:57,087 --> 00:23:59,786
I just made...
little adjustments.
621
00:23:59,829 --> 00:24:02,528
And, really, guys,
it's so much better.
622
00:24:02,571 --> 00:24:04,399
I think Connie's gonna dig it.
623
00:24:04,443 --> 00:24:05,574
Are you sure?
624
00:24:05,618 --> 00:24:08,098
I mean, she's pretty
by the book. No.
625
00:24:08,142 --> 00:24:10,492
When she sees
these improvements I made,
626
00:24:10,536 --> 00:24:12,320
I really think
she's gonna love it.
627
00:24:12,363 --> 00:24:13,408
I hate it!
628
00:24:15,671 --> 00:24:18,108
Who the hell
do you think you are?
629
00:24:18,152 --> 00:24:21,677
Elliot Ellison redefined
musical theater,
630
00:24:21,721 --> 00:24:24,071
and-and-- oh, oh, oh,
631
00:24:24,114 --> 00:24:26,421
you're gonna redefine
a redefinement?
632
00:24:26,465 --> 00:24:27,422
Is that it?
633
00:24:27,466 --> 00:24:29,511
[sad trumpet
wah-wahs]
634
00:24:31,339 --> 00:24:34,037
This damn trumpet
won't stay in tune.
635
00:24:35,169 --> 00:24:37,519
Connie, listen,
these are just
636
00:24:37,563 --> 00:24:39,826
little tweaks to make it
a little more modern.
637
00:24:39,869 --> 00:24:41,610
For instance,
instead of singing,
638
00:24:41,654 --> 00:24:43,482
"But that don't lead to
walking down the aisle,"
639
00:24:43,525 --> 00:24:44,787
Yeah?
I only sing, "But I need
640
00:24:44,831 --> 00:24:46,485
mutual respect when I
walk down the aisle."
641
00:24:46,528 --> 00:24:48,095
It's just little tweaks.
642
00:24:48,138 --> 00:24:49,662
I entrust you...
643
00:24:49,705 --> 00:24:51,490
with the sacred words...
644
00:24:51,533 --> 00:24:54,057
of an American
musical theater genius
645
00:24:54,101 --> 00:24:56,756
and you-you, oh,
y-you tweak them?!
646
00:24:57,931 --> 00:24:59,715
You will perform it...[heavy exhale]
647
00:24:59,759 --> 00:25:02,544
as it 'twas written.
648
00:25:02,588 --> 00:25:04,720
Or be banished
from the company.
649
00:25:20,606 --> 00:25:23,434
♪ Tickety-tock goes
the ticktock clock ♪
650
00:25:23,478 --> 00:25:25,219
♪ Round and round and round
651
00:25:26,046 --> 00:25:28,439
♪ Every day
while our age increases ♪
652
00:25:28,483 --> 00:25:29,745
♪ He's tickin' away
653
00:25:29,789 --> 00:25:31,094
♪ Yes, the clock never ceases
654
00:25:31,138 --> 00:25:33,444
♪ Tickety-tock goes
the ticktock clock ♪
655
00:25:33,488 --> 00:25:36,752
♪ Tickety-tockety,
clickety-clockety ♪
656
00:25:36,796 --> 00:25:39,146
♪ Weeks go by
and we keep workin' ♪
657
00:25:39,189 --> 00:25:41,496
♪ Day after day
while the clock's observin' ♪
658
00:25:41,540 --> 00:25:44,760
♪ Half past eight,
quarter to three ♪
659
00:25:44,804 --> 00:25:46,153
♪ Time goes by
660
00:25:46,196 --> 00:25:47,415
♪ For you and for me
661
00:25:47,458 --> 00:25:49,722
♪ Tickety-tock goes
the ticktock clock ♪
662
00:25:49,765 --> 00:25:52,159
♪ Round and round again.
663
00:25:54,030 --> 00:25:55,945
JOSH:
Hey, everyone.
664
00:25:55,989 --> 00:25:57,120
Everyone,
opening night.
665
00:25:57,164 --> 00:25:58,731
Ten minutes
until call.
666
00:25:58,774 --> 00:26:00,254
Have a good show.
667
00:26:00,297 --> 00:26:01,995
Hey, you doing okay?
668
00:26:02,038 --> 00:26:03,344
Eh.
669
00:26:03,387 --> 00:26:05,085
Following your
dream much?
670
00:26:05,128 --> 00:26:07,043
Yeah.
671
00:26:07,087 --> 00:26:08,218
Yeah, I guess so.
672
00:26:08,262 --> 00:26:10,220
Hey, I was wondering
if you had a minute
673
00:26:10,264 --> 00:26:13,267
to sign this
old playbill.
674
00:26:14,311 --> 00:26:16,618
Oh, my God.
[laughs]
675
00:26:16,662 --> 00:26:18,228
This is the actual South Pacific
program
676
00:26:18,272 --> 00:26:19,752
from Camp Canyon Grove?
Look at that.
677
00:26:19,795 --> 00:26:21,710
Where did you get this?
678
00:26:21,754 --> 00:26:23,582
I saved it this whole time.
679
00:26:24,757 --> 00:26:27,150
Okay, actually,
I bought it on eBay.
680
00:26:27,194 --> 00:26:29,283
People sell, like,
everything there.
681
00:26:29,326 --> 00:26:30,806
But I thought it'd be
682
00:26:30,850 --> 00:26:33,069
a nice thing
for you to sign.
683
00:26:33,113 --> 00:26:35,898
[laughing]:
Really?
684
00:26:35,942 --> 00:26:37,944
Okay.
685
00:26:37,987 --> 00:26:40,468
Oh, my God, this is so sweet.
686
00:26:42,862 --> 00:26:44,907
Thank you.
687
00:26:44,951 --> 00:26:47,431
You are really always there
when I need someone.
688
00:26:51,087 --> 00:26:53,176
I guess I'll sign,
like, right here?JOSH: Awesome.
689
00:26:53,220 --> 00:26:54,743
[indistinct chatter]
690
00:26:58,268 --> 00:26:59,443
Thanks.
691
00:27:03,622 --> 00:27:05,711
[exhales]DARRYL: Oh.
692
00:27:05,754 --> 00:27:07,451
[chatting indistinctly]Hi, hey, there.
693
00:27:07,495 --> 00:27:09,628
Hi.
Hi, how are you?
694
00:27:09,671 --> 00:27:11,194
Um...
695
00:27:11,238 --> 00:27:12,761
Oh, what's happening?
696
00:27:12,805 --> 00:27:13,762
I just want to let you know
697
00:27:13,806 --> 00:27:16,243
that I did get another offer.
698
00:27:16,286 --> 00:27:18,332
Oh.
699
00:27:18,375 --> 00:27:19,986
Okay, I see.
700
00:27:20,029 --> 00:27:21,814
Well, thank you for
letting me know.
701
00:27:21,857 --> 00:27:23,250
And...
702
00:27:23,293 --> 00:27:25,165
was our offer competitive?Well...
703
00:27:25,208 --> 00:27:27,428
this...
704
00:27:27,471 --> 00:27:28,908
is their opening bid.
705
00:27:28,951 --> 00:27:30,344
Holy macaroni.
706
00:27:30,387 --> 00:27:33,086
Wow, that is, um,
some major scratch.
707
00:27:33,129 --> 00:27:34,348
Yeah.
708
00:27:34,391 --> 00:27:36,219
I know, I mean,
money like that could...
709
00:27:36,263 --> 00:27:37,873
mean so much to my family.
710
00:27:37,917 --> 00:27:40,310
We could get out of debt,
could pay off the house.
711
00:27:40,354 --> 00:27:42,312
Tommy wants to go
to college. College.
712
00:27:42,356 --> 00:27:43,966
I mean, our highest
dream for him
713
00:27:44,010 --> 00:27:46,447
was, you know,
like a six-week course
714
00:27:46,490 --> 00:27:48,188
in welding, so...
715
00:27:48,231 --> 00:27:50,103
So, wait, so what
are you saying? [sighs]
716
00:27:50,146 --> 00:27:53,106
I don't know
if I'm gonna work with...
717
00:27:53,149 --> 00:27:55,064
this exact firm, but
it turns out that...
718
00:27:57,023 --> 00:27:58,502
...this is what I'm worth.
719
00:28:00,461 --> 00:28:02,202
[chiming over P.A.]
720
00:28:02,245 --> 00:28:04,204
Okay, um...
721
00:28:04,247 --> 00:28:06,554
I'll see you in there.
Yeah.
722
00:28:06,597 --> 00:28:08,599
All right?
[stifling sob]: Mm-hmm.
723
00:28:08,643 --> 00:28:11,080
Okay. It's good to see you.
724
00:28:11,124 --> 00:28:12,995
Thank you.
Good to see you.
725
00:28:13,039 --> 00:28:14,954
[sharp inhale]
726
00:28:14,997 --> 00:28:16,738
All right, everyone.
Showtime, showtime!
727
00:28:16,782 --> 00:28:18,305
But, you know, break a leg.
728
00:28:18,348 --> 00:28:19,959
Now, Rebecca.
I want you to remember
729
00:28:20,002 --> 00:28:22,788
to shimmy, shake,
and smile, okay?
730
00:28:22,831 --> 00:28:24,746
I want to see both rows
of teeth. Top and bottom.
731
00:28:24,790 --> 00:28:26,748
Where's my tea?
732
00:28:26,792 --> 00:28:28,707
Well, where is it?!
733
00:28:31,274 --> 00:28:33,755
[sighs] Check this out.
734
00:28:33,799 --> 00:28:36,671
This, like, totally
suits me. [chuckles]
735
00:28:36,715 --> 00:28:39,456
Anyone seeing this won't
be oblivious anymore.
736
00:28:39,500 --> 00:28:41,894
Right?
Uh-huh.
737
00:28:41,937 --> 00:28:42,982
Okay.
738
00:28:43,025 --> 00:28:45,811
[applause]
739
00:28:49,510 --> 00:28:51,599
♪ When he came to my town
740
00:28:51,642 --> 00:28:53,296
♪ Upon his ship
741
00:28:53,340 --> 00:28:56,256
♪ He pillaged and plundered
and looted ♪
742
00:28:57,823 --> 00:28:59,302
♪ "You're mine now," he said
743
00:28:59,346 --> 00:29:01,217
♪ With a devilish grin
744
00:29:01,261 --> 00:29:04,220
♪ "Submit, or be executed"
745
00:29:04,264 --> 00:29:06,440
♪ Yet now that
746
00:29:06,483 --> 00:29:08,964
♪ I'm his bride
747
00:29:09,008 --> 00:29:13,142
♪ I feel nothing
but warmth deep inside ♪
748
00:29:14,796 --> 00:29:18,626
♪ I love the Pirate King
749
00:29:18,669 --> 00:29:20,062
♪ I sit on his lap
750
00:29:20,106 --> 00:29:21,890
♪ And to him I sing
751
00:29:21,934 --> 00:29:24,066
[mouthing]♪ He calls me
his sparrow ♪
752
00:29:24,110 --> 00:29:26,112
♪ His lamb, his pet
753
00:29:26,155 --> 00:29:27,983
♪ His rough pirate kisses
754
00:29:28,027 --> 00:29:30,333
♪ I'll never forget
755
00:29:30,377 --> 00:29:33,162
♪ He hits me
but he don't mean no harm ♪
756
00:29:33,206 --> 00:29:35,904
♪ Those slaps are part of his
757
00:29:35,948 --> 00:29:38,864
♪ Piratish charm
758
00:29:40,387 --> 00:29:41,780
♪ Sometimes I say
759
00:29:41,823 --> 00:29:43,390
♪ "Stop it," but deep down
760
00:29:43,433 --> 00:29:44,478
♪ I know
761
00:29:44,521 --> 00:29:45,871
♪ If I didn't like it
762
00:29:45,914 --> 00:29:48,830
♪ I would have left
long ago... ♪
763
00:29:48,874 --> 00:29:51,398
That pirate sounds
like a dick.
764
00:29:51,441 --> 00:29:54,270
♪ I love the Pirate King
765
00:29:54,314 --> 00:29:57,186
♪ He calls my name
and it means ♪
766
00:29:57,230 --> 00:29:58,448
♪ One thing
767
00:29:58,492 --> 00:30:00,276
♪ He's craving my touch
768
00:30:00,320 --> 00:30:01,930
♪ Warm and deep
769
00:30:01,974 --> 00:30:03,802
♪ He takes his pleasure
770
00:30:03,845 --> 00:30:05,412
♪ Even when I'm asleep
771
00:30:05,455 --> 00:30:07,588
♪ If I die at his hand
772
00:30:07,631 --> 00:30:10,069
♪ It won't be a surprise
773
00:30:10,112 --> 00:30:12,549
♪ 'Cause my love
for the Pirate King ♪
774
00:30:12,593 --> 00:30:15,552
♪ Is true and pure
775
00:30:15,596 --> 00:30:18,904
♪ And wise.
776
00:30:18,947 --> 00:30:20,601
[applause]
777
00:30:20,644 --> 00:30:21,645
[whoops]
778
00:30:21,689 --> 00:30:22,733
Yeah.
779
00:30:24,823 --> 00:30:27,347
[applause continues]
780
00:30:29,871 --> 00:30:31,351
Wow.
781
00:30:31,394 --> 00:30:34,136
You were great.
You know,
782
00:30:34,180 --> 00:30:36,182
if I were a pirate king,
I'd kidnap you, too.
783
00:30:37,487 --> 00:30:39,141
And would you marry me?
784
00:30:39,185 --> 00:30:41,404
Hmm. I mean,
I'd be a pirate king,
785
00:30:41,448 --> 00:30:43,189
so I just would do what I want.
786
00:30:43,232 --> 00:30:44,538
You don't understand anything.
787
00:30:44,581 --> 00:30:45,800
You don't even understand
you're not supposed
788
00:30:45,844 --> 00:30:47,541
to come back here
in the middle of a show.
789
00:30:47,584 --> 00:30:50,761
You know, I think
something's going on with us.
790
00:30:50,805 --> 00:30:52,502
You're mad at me.
791
00:30:52,546 --> 00:30:55,114
I can tell from the yelling
and overt anger.
792
00:30:55,157 --> 00:30:57,551
Wow. Amazing.
793
00:30:57,594 --> 00:30:58,769
You're not only a pirate king...
794
00:30:58,813 --> 00:31:00,771
you're a genius.
795
00:31:03,600 --> 00:31:05,124
[sighs]
796
00:31:05,167 --> 00:31:07,996
Oh, God, this next song
is a total bummer.
797
00:31:08,040 --> 00:31:10,433
It's one of the ones that
just lifts right out.
798
00:31:10,477 --> 00:31:12,435
[applause]
799
00:31:12,479 --> 00:31:14,437
Oh, hello there, folks.
800
00:31:14,481 --> 00:31:16,048
I didn't see you there.
801
00:31:16,091 --> 00:31:19,660
My name is not important,
802
00:31:19,703 --> 00:31:22,706
but there's something about me
that you should know.
803
00:31:22,750 --> 00:31:25,840
♪ I'm an apple man
804
00:31:25,884 --> 00:31:28,799
♪ I'm an apple man
805
00:31:28,843 --> 00:31:32,542
♪ No other fruit can do
quite what an apple can ♪
806
00:31:32,586 --> 00:31:34,414
♪ Toss me that apple, Stan
807
00:31:34,457 --> 00:31:37,373
♪ 'Cause I'm an apple man
808
00:31:38,897 --> 00:31:40,724
♪ They're marvelous
in the morning ♪
809
00:31:40,768 --> 00:31:43,510
♪ They're lovely late at night
810
00:31:43,553 --> 00:31:46,469
♪ They're delectable
in the daytime ♪
811
00:31:46,513 --> 00:31:48,341
♪ An apple always
tastes just right ♪
812
00:31:48,384 --> 00:31:50,256
♪ So you can keep your banana
813
00:31:50,299 --> 00:31:53,520
♪ In your pineapple cabana
814
00:31:53,563 --> 00:31:55,914
♪ I'd never be caught
chomping on a kumquat ♪
815
00:31:55,957 --> 00:31:58,612
♪ Tell that to your friend
Susannah ♪
816
00:31:58,655 --> 00:32:01,267
♪ From Tallahassee to Spokane
817
00:32:01,310 --> 00:32:03,486
♪ Madagascar to Japan
818
00:32:03,530 --> 00:32:06,228
♪ I'm sticking
to my one-fruit plan ♪
819
00:32:06,272 --> 00:32:09,928
♪ 'Cause I'm a Gala,
Red Delicious, Cortland, Fuji ♪
820
00:32:09,971 --> 00:32:12,582
♪ McIntosh, Granny Smith,
Ambrosia ♪
821
00:32:12,626 --> 00:32:14,758
♪ Apple man.
822
00:32:14,802 --> 00:32:15,977
[crunch sound]
823
00:32:16,021 --> 00:32:18,588
[cheering, applause]
824
00:32:18,632 --> 00:32:20,112
That is it, April.
825
00:32:20,155 --> 00:32:21,635
I'm an apple man.
826
00:32:21,678 --> 00:32:23,506
Paula is my apple,
827
00:32:23,550 --> 00:32:24,986
and I need to try new fruit
but I can't,
828
00:32:25,030 --> 00:32:28,163
because I'm afraid
of all the change at work.
829
00:32:28,207 --> 00:32:30,470
Nathaniel came in
and Karen left,
830
00:32:30,513 --> 00:32:31,688
and then Bert came in
and Jim left.
831
00:32:31,732 --> 00:32:33,647
And then he came back
and then Rebecca left.
832
00:32:33,690 --> 00:32:35,388
And through it all,
833
00:32:35,431 --> 00:32:38,695
Paula has been there,
and that's why I'm so upset.
834
00:32:38,739 --> 00:32:41,698
Y-You got all of that
from "Apple Man"?
835
00:32:41,742 --> 00:32:43,352
Yes, of course.
836
00:32:43,396 --> 00:32:46,051
But you didn't get it from the
song, "Good Bosses and Friends
837
00:32:46,094 --> 00:32:48,575
Let Their Employees Soar
Elsewhere If Need Be"?
838
00:32:48,618 --> 00:32:51,317
No, I, I didn't
connect with that one.
839
00:32:51,360 --> 00:32:53,362
[applause in distance]
840
00:32:56,496 --> 00:32:59,455
Hey. You ready?
841
00:32:59,499 --> 00:33:01,675
I don't think
I can sing this song.
842
00:33:01,718 --> 00:33:03,807
I hate my song.
843
00:33:03,851 --> 00:33:05,505
No, I hate everything about it.
844
00:33:05,548 --> 00:33:08,116
I-I hate, I hate what
it's about and what it says.
845
00:33:08,160 --> 00:33:10,118
Come on, it's just
one dumb song. Who cares?
846
00:33:10,162 --> 00:33:11,337
No, you don't understand.
847
00:33:11,380 --> 00:33:13,556
Loving these songs
is a part of who I am.
848
00:33:13,600 --> 00:33:15,428
I don't know,
I just,
849
00:33:15,471 --> 00:33:18,735
I liked what I wrote,
I like the changes that I made.
850
00:33:18,779 --> 00:33:22,696
Then why not sing
that version instead?
851
00:33:22,739 --> 00:33:25,873
I can't. You heard Connie.
She hated that.
852
00:33:25,916 --> 00:33:28,963
And I can't even believe
that I did that.
853
00:33:29,007 --> 00:33:30,530
I mean, God, I'm not
a writer-performer.
854
00:33:30,573 --> 00:33:32,445
I'm not Ike Barinholtz.
855
00:33:34,273 --> 00:33:36,797
[whispers]:
Hey, Rebecca, you're on.
856
00:33:38,190 --> 00:33:39,974
I don't know, I just wish
that the audience
857
00:33:40,018 --> 00:33:41,367
could hear the lyrics
that I wrote,
858
00:33:41,410 --> 00:33:43,630
but I, I can't go out there
and sing them.
859
00:33:43,673 --> 00:33:46,067
They should hear them.
860
00:33:46,111 --> 00:33:48,069
And they will.
861
00:33:51,072 --> 00:33:53,596
What?
862
00:33:53,640 --> 00:33:55,381
[applause]
863
00:33:55,424 --> 00:33:56,556
Hello, everybody,
864
00:33:56,599 --> 00:33:58,601
um, instead of singing
the prince song,
865
00:33:58,645 --> 00:34:01,474
I'm actually gonna sing
a different song with a few
866
00:34:01,517 --> 00:34:05,565
small changes made by a, uh,
867
00:34:05,608 --> 00:34:06,783
a brilliant friend of mine.
868
00:34:08,220 --> 00:34:09,830
[piano playing]
869
00:34:09,873 --> 00:34:13,703
♪ I'm the local lady
of the evening ♪
870
00:34:13,747 --> 00:34:17,055
♪ And though I like
my men and my booze ♪
871
00:34:17,098 --> 00:34:19,796
[laughs]♪ I pray to above
872
00:34:19,840 --> 00:34:21,320
♪ That I'll find true love
873
00:34:21,363 --> 00:34:23,670
♪ A man who won't say
that I'm used ♪
874
00:34:23,713 --> 00:34:26,107
Oh, my God.♪ Oh, can someone
875
00:34:26,151 --> 00:34:28,892
Someone else is singing my song.♪ Lasso me a husband?
876
00:34:28,936 --> 00:34:30,677
♪ It would be nice
to someday have a husband... ♪
877
00:34:30,720 --> 00:34:33,071
[whispers]: Close the curtain.
Close the curtain.
878
00:34:34,724 --> 00:34:36,117
[applause]
879
00:34:36,161 --> 00:34:37,684
Connie, listen...
880
00:34:37,727 --> 00:34:39,555
You're fired.
What?
881
00:34:39,599 --> 00:34:40,948
Both of you, you're fired.
882
00:34:40,991 --> 00:34:42,819
Now get out
of my theater at once.
883
00:34:51,567 --> 00:34:53,700
Well, big surprise,
no one's coming.
884
00:34:53,743 --> 00:34:56,877
No one in this god-awful town
is coming here.
885
00:34:56,920 --> 00:34:58,270
Will you just hold on a second?
886
00:34:58,313 --> 00:34:59,967
We don't even open
for five minutes.
887
00:35:01,751 --> 00:35:03,101
MAN:
Table for two, please?
888
00:35:03,144 --> 00:35:05,625
Ah, we've got two.
889
00:35:05,668 --> 00:35:07,017
Two people. Big deal.
890
00:35:07,061 --> 00:35:10,195
Hi.
Oh, you've got four.
891
00:35:10,238 --> 00:35:13,154
HEATHER: Hi.Hi, welcome.
892
00:35:13,198 --> 00:35:15,852
Hi. Yeah, you can sit there.
893
00:35:15,896 --> 00:35:17,680
Um, Greg, there are,
like, eight people here.
894
00:35:17,724 --> 00:35:19,639
MAN:
It's just like the old Serrano's.
895
00:35:19,682 --> 00:35:21,031
Uh, ten top. Incoming.
896
00:35:21,075 --> 00:35:24,122
Kitchen, start your engines,
these people are early.
897
00:35:24,165 --> 00:35:25,688
Why don't you guys
sit right there?
898
00:35:25,732 --> 00:35:27,081
MAN:
Man, I have missed this place.
899
00:35:27,125 --> 00:35:28,735
GREG:
I cannot believe it.
900
00:35:28,778 --> 00:35:31,955
If this were a real opening,
we would've done huge numbers.
901
00:35:31,999 --> 00:35:34,741
Mm-hmm.
It's like people actually like this place.
902
00:35:34,784 --> 00:35:36,525
Dude, you don't get it.
They always did.
903
00:35:36,569 --> 00:35:38,919
It's just, when your father
ran this place, he was a drunk
904
00:35:38,962 --> 00:35:42,140
and a terrible businessman
and he ran it into the ground.
905
00:35:42,183 --> 00:35:43,750
No, this place failed
because West Covina
906
00:35:43,793 --> 00:35:45,317
turned their back
on this restaurant.
907
00:35:45,360 --> 00:35:47,928
That's one of the reasons
why I hated it here.
908
00:35:47,971 --> 00:35:50,409
Yeah, that's not true.
You just wanted to find reasons
909
00:35:50,452 --> 00:35:52,541
to hate it
because you hated yourself.
910
00:35:54,239 --> 00:35:56,197
Trust me, I dated you.
It was not cute.
911
00:35:56,241 --> 00:35:58,373
Huh.I mean, the
good news is,
912
00:35:58,417 --> 00:36:00,288
you used that
hatred and,
913
00:36:00,332 --> 00:36:02,290
parenthetically, your horrible
relationship with Rebecca,
914
00:36:02,334 --> 00:36:04,771
to get out of town
and go to business school.
915
00:36:04,814 --> 00:36:07,643
So maybe now you're ready
for this town.
916
00:36:09,079 --> 00:36:10,820
It's always been ready for you.
917
00:36:10,864 --> 00:36:12,822
Wow.
918
00:36:12,866 --> 00:36:15,434
I forgot how profound you are.
919
00:36:15,477 --> 00:36:17,392
That is always a big mistake.
[chuckles]
920
00:36:35,410 --> 00:36:36,846
Huh.
921
00:36:48,510 --> 00:36:50,512
Still got it.
922
00:36:51,644 --> 00:36:56,301
♪ Hey, West Covina
923
00:36:56,344 --> 00:37:00,435
♪ Thought that I had
to break free ♪
924
00:37:00,479 --> 00:37:05,266
♪ Well, it took me two years
to shake off my fears ♪
925
00:37:05,310 --> 00:37:09,792
♪ And see that
the problem was me ♪
926
00:37:09,836 --> 00:37:13,883
♪ Hey, West Covina
927
00:37:13,927 --> 00:37:18,497
♪ We may not always agree
928
00:37:18,540 --> 00:37:20,629
♪ But you're okay, West Covina
929
00:37:20,673 --> 00:37:24,067
♪ Should I stay, West Covina?
930
00:37:24,111 --> 00:37:27,593
♪ What do you say,
West Covina? ♪
931
00:37:27,636 --> 00:37:34,556
♪ What'll it be?
932
00:37:34,600 --> 00:37:40,693
♪ Hmm.
933
00:37:42,434 --> 00:37:44,436
[applause]
934
00:37:44,479 --> 00:37:46,438
I am so sorry
that I got you fired.
935
00:37:46,481 --> 00:37:47,743
No, it's okay.
936
00:37:47,787 --> 00:37:50,355
If I'm being honest...
937
00:37:50,398 --> 00:37:52,487
I only did this
to hang out with you.
938
00:37:54,141 --> 00:37:55,316
Oh, wow.
939
00:37:55,360 --> 00:37:58,101
Are you really surprised
to hear that?
940
00:37:59,146 --> 00:38:01,061
Kind of?
941
00:38:01,104 --> 00:38:02,584
Nathaniel,
what you just did
942
00:38:02,628 --> 00:38:05,326
meant a lot to me, really.
943
00:38:05,370 --> 00:38:06,893
It was thrilling
944
00:38:06,936 --> 00:38:10,897
to hear my words out loud,
even if it was a dumb idea.
945
00:38:10,940 --> 00:38:12,942
I don't think it was dumb.
946
00:38:15,510 --> 00:38:16,859
Really?
947
00:38:25,390 --> 00:38:27,957
Uh, we should, uh... yeah.I should-- no,
I should get my stuff.
948
00:38:28,001 --> 00:38:29,524
[exhales]
949
00:38:33,311 --> 00:38:34,486
[clears throat]
950
00:38:51,111 --> 00:38:52,591
Hey.
951
00:38:53,766 --> 00:38:57,247
[sighs] You need to take one
of those great offers, Paula.
952
00:38:57,291 --> 00:38:59,075
I know.It took one
of the songs
953
00:38:59,119 --> 00:39:01,164
last night for me
to realize that.
954
00:39:01,208 --> 00:39:03,166
Was it the one called "Money
Isn't Everything Unless It Gets
955
00:39:03,210 --> 00:39:05,560
Your Family Out Of Debt
And Sends Your Kid To College"?
956
00:39:05,604 --> 00:39:08,041
No, I-I didn't vibe
with that one.
957
00:39:08,998 --> 00:39:11,261
[sighs]: I, I shouldn't have
tried to hold you here.
958
00:39:11,305 --> 00:39:13,655
Just because you mean
so much to me.
959
00:39:13,699 --> 00:39:17,355
Ah, Darryl, come on.
960
00:39:17,398 --> 00:39:18,921
We are friends.
961
00:39:18,965 --> 00:39:22,403
Real friends,
not "work friends."
962
00:39:22,447 --> 00:39:26,189
And we will be
in each other's lives forever.
963
00:39:27,234 --> 00:39:29,628
No matter where
we get our paycheck.
964
00:39:29,671 --> 00:39:31,804
Really?
965
00:39:33,719 --> 00:39:35,677
Hell, yeah.
966
00:39:35,721 --> 00:39:38,593
♪
967
00:39:44,512 --> 00:39:45,818
Hey. Thank you for coming.
968
00:39:45,861 --> 00:39:47,689
Yeah.
969
00:39:47,733 --> 00:39:49,387
I have something to tell you.
970
00:39:49,430 --> 00:39:51,867
Okay.
[clears throat]
971
00:39:51,911 --> 00:39:53,826
I want to get married.
972
00:39:53,869 --> 00:39:56,829
Everyone I grew up
with is married.
973
00:39:56,872 --> 00:39:58,483
I've planned a billion
weddings for people
974
00:39:58,526 --> 00:40:00,833
who love each other a lot
less than you and I do
975
00:40:00,876 --> 00:40:02,443
and aren't as
attractive as we are.
976
00:40:02,487 --> 00:40:04,489
I want this.
977
00:40:04,532 --> 00:40:05,881
I want you to propose, Beth.
978
00:40:05,925 --> 00:40:07,796
And if you don't,
979
00:40:07,840 --> 00:40:10,756
then I'm not going back
to New York with you.
980
00:40:17,850 --> 00:40:19,808
[door opens]
981
00:40:19,852 --> 00:40:21,897
[gasps]Hey.
982
00:40:21,941 --> 00:40:24,030
What are you doing here?
983
00:40:24,073 --> 00:40:25,640
Well, since I missed
your opening, I wanted
984
00:40:25,684 --> 00:40:29,252
to check the place out,
and... oh, my God.
985
00:40:29,296 --> 00:40:31,603
Greg, this looks amazing.
986
00:40:31,646 --> 00:40:33,256
[chuckles]:
Yeah. Thanks.
987
00:40:33,300 --> 00:40:34,519
I'm sorry I missed
your theater thing.
988
00:40:34,562 --> 00:40:36,434
How was it?Oh, it was terrible.
989
00:40:36,477 --> 00:40:39,785
Yeah, uh, yeah, I got yelled at,
I got called an idiot
990
00:40:39,828 --> 00:40:41,526
and then I got fired.
991
00:40:41,569 --> 00:40:43,876
Wow. That sucks.
992
00:40:43,919 --> 00:40:45,530
Yeah, I mean, there were some
good parts, there were actually
993
00:40:45,573 --> 00:40:50,491
some really good parts,
but mostly, I, uh,
994
00:40:50,535 --> 00:40:53,276
I got my dreams stomped on.Oh.
995
00:40:53,320 --> 00:40:55,801
But enough about me.
Look at you.
996
00:40:55,844 --> 00:40:58,891
Really. You look so happy,
you're, like, glowing.
997
00:40:58,934 --> 00:41:01,110
I feel pretty good, actually,
998
00:41:01,154 --> 00:41:03,983
and I-I decided, um,
999
00:41:04,026 --> 00:41:07,465
I'm gonna stay in town
and really open this place.
1000
00:41:07,508 --> 00:41:08,814
Try to make it work.
1001
00:41:08,857 --> 00:41:10,468
Wow.
1002
00:41:10,511 --> 00:41:12,078
You're choosing
to stay in West Covina?
1003
00:41:12,121 --> 00:41:13,732
By choice?Yes,
1004
00:41:13,775 --> 00:41:15,255
and when I made that decision,
I had to ask myself,
1005
00:41:15,298 --> 00:41:16,474
was it because of you
1006
00:41:16,517 --> 00:41:17,866
or because
of this place?
1007
00:41:17,910 --> 00:41:20,434
Because of me?
Why because of me?
1008
00:41:20,478 --> 00:41:22,349
Because I still care about you.
1009
00:41:22,392 --> 00:41:24,656
And maybe I did choose
1010
00:41:24,699 --> 00:41:26,919
to do my thesis here to be
near you, but now I really,
1011
00:41:26,962 --> 00:41:29,661
I, I love this restaurant.
1012
00:41:29,704 --> 00:41:32,054
Good. Well, good, good.
1013
00:41:32,098 --> 00:41:36,537
That is, that's good--
that's good. That's great.
1014
00:41:36,581 --> 00:41:37,930
Wait, are you hungry?
1015
00:41:37,973 --> 00:41:39,584
You got to try
this lasagna.
1016
00:41:39,627 --> 00:41:41,150
I was using Roma,
but Chris was right,
1017
00:41:41,194 --> 00:41:42,891
the San Marzano was better,
so I switched.
1018
00:41:42,935 --> 00:41:44,545
Just, hold on.
1019
00:41:44,589 --> 00:41:46,547
You're gonna love it.
1020
00:41:47,722 --> 00:41:50,682
[sighs]:
Oh.
1021
00:41:50,725 --> 00:41:52,901
[quietly]:
♪ Oh, can someone
1022
00:41:52,945 --> 00:41:56,165
♪ Lasso me a husband?
1023
00:42:00,866 --> 00:42:02,084
Damn it.
1024
00:42:06,828 --> 00:42:12,791
Captioning sponsored by
CBS
1025
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Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org
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Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
72428
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