Original subtitles

ELI'S MOM: No, you don't understand.

My son is getting bullied every day.

Yeah, they call him names.

"Freak," "loser," "shitlip."

It's not right.

You have to do something about this.

You're gonna make an announcement?

Don't have them make an announcement.

Just, please keep his name out of it.

I don't want him to be embarrassed.

I'm sure that this will nip it in the bud.

Uh-huh.

Do you realize what you've done?

The school needed to know that this behavior should not be tolerated.

Don't you get it? They're never going to stop

making fun of me because I'm a loser.

That's not true.

Wake up, Mom!

I'm a freak.

I'm never gonna have any other friends besides Demetri.

I'm never going to get a girlfriend,

I'm never going to be anything other than a kid with a weird lip!

[SOBBING]

[EAGLE SCREECHES]

[WHIRRING]

RICO: There you go, brother.

Thanks, Rico.

See you soon, man.

Did you get that for me?

Maybe.

Hey, asshole twins, grab my bag. We're out.

[DOOR BELL JINGLES]

The whole fence?

That's like 1,200 square feet.

Actually, times two. You forgot about the other side.

[SIGHS]

Oh, okay, I get it.

You're teaching me muscle memory.

Do it a bunch of times, develop unconscious karate techniques.

How about we just cut to the chase

and you show me the moves?

[HUFFING]

[GRUNTS]

I'm not exactly the most flexible.

That's...

And I have a little trouble maintaining balance.

Hope that's not an issue.

Disproportionate limbs.

That's it, side to side.

Can I at least use a roller?

DANIEL: Left circle, right circle.

There you go.

[GROANING]

What? What?

Splinter.

Ah, it's a big one.

[SIGHS]

How much longer are we doing this?

My arms are getting tired and I've had to pee since before we started.

[SIGHS]

[BOTH GRUNT]

You're a little rusty, Sensei.

[GRUNTING]

Okay, pay attention.

He's got my neck, I've got his elbow.

If I try to break out...

I dig in and I put him to sleep.

JOHNNY: If I go for his ribs...

[GRUNTS]

He completely exposes his chest.

JOHNNY: Two difficult choices.

What do you do?

[GRUNTING]

You damn the consequences and you power forward.

You may get hurt,

but nobody wins by doing nothing.

You make a choice, you make a move,

you go all-in.

Good class today.

[CHUCKLES]

You still have a hell of a roundhouse.

You almost caught me with that hook.

I think the students got a lot out of the lesson.

But, of course, the most important student was absent.

Your boy.

It's not right that he's over there.

We've talked about this.

Robby wants nothing to do with me.

I've tried.

You've tried, huh?

So, you just teach these lessons.

You don't really take them to heart.

"Go all-in."

[MUSIC PLAYING ON SPEAKER]

Oh, my God. Yasmine has the same bikini as me.

Tell her she can stay in France.

Hey.

TORY: Oops.

Must've slipped out of my hand.

What are you even doing over there?

Going all-in.

That was my last mozzarella stick.

[SCOFFS] Gotta pay the vig, blood.

What's the matter with you?

Something you should see.

ELI: "Very unprofessional sensei."

"Does not take into account safety or personal boundaries."

"Facility in need of a major face-lift."

Who the hell does this guy think he is?

ROBBY: I don't know if we'll ever use this in a fight,

but if we're ever forced into a dance battle,

we're set.

[LAUGHING]

Whoa. [GASPS]

Uh, hey, are we doing shirts versus skins?

'Cause I prefer to be a shirt.

Not saying that you have to be a skin.

Unless you want to.

I support your right to choose.

Demetri. Over here.

Hey, Mr. L, before we begin...

What's...

It's a note from my mom excusing me from any extensive arm and leg movements.

So, uh, if there's an alternative lesson I could do...

Maybe a workbook.

Show me "sand the floor."

You want me to sand it again? It's pretty smooth.

No, no, not actually...

The movement.

Show me the movement. Remember?

You ready?

[GRUNTS]

[SCREAMS]

You kicked me!

Why didn't you block, Demetri?

You know this. This is the muscle memory.

In case you haven't noticed, I don't have muscles.

Do you want to be here, Demetri?

Not really.

Then why are you here?

My whole life I've been, let's just say, less than popular.

But at least I had a few friends.

And then Cobra Kai comes to town,

and next thing I know, my friends are taking karate

and becoming alpha jerks.

I'm literally being threatened by my best friend.

I just wanted to show I could fight back.

Look, I understand what you're going through.

I do.

But Miyagi-Do isn't about showing off.

It's about...

Self-defense. I know.

Problem is, my self is too weak.

[EXHALES]

[DOOR OPENS]

Hey, excuse me. Do you know what happened to the people who live here?

Excuse me, hablas English?

[BEEPING]

[LINE RINGING]

[ON RECORDING] Hey, it's Jen. Talk some words. Maybe I'll call you back.

SAM: Oh-ho-ho. Sweet man bun.

[LAUGHS] I told you it was a horrible picture.

You know, if you were friends with me at the time,

I could have warned you that this was a fad.

Yeah, well, I'm stuck with it for five years, so no biggie, right?

[CHUCKLES] Wait.

"Robert Swayze Keene"?

[ROBBY CHUCKLING]

My mom was a huge fan of Patrick Swayze. He was an actor in the '80s.

Yeah, like I haven't seen Dirty Dancing, like, 100 times.

My mom made me watch it all the time.

Made you?

Okay, maybe I liked it.

I'm more partial to his performance in Donnie Darko.

Interesting movie.

Mmm, time travel logic left a lot to be desired.

Wait. Is today Wednesday?

Yeah.

Mmm-hmm.

The new issue of Dungeon Lord came out.

Um, do you guys want anything from the comic book store?

Um, no, thanks.

Okay, uh, I'll be right back. Make sure no one throws away my chicken.

[BOTH CHUCKLING]

TORY: You want the rest of this brownie sundae?

I'm not gonna lie to you, I already ate the brownie

and the whipped cream and most of the hot fudge.

So, you saved me the melted ice cream?

Yeah, the best part.

[CHUCKLES]

Seriously. What are you working on?

Um...

Is it something dirty? Show me.

No, it's nothing dirty.

Come on.

I could use a girl's opinion on this actually.

But you have to promise not to laugh.

I can't make that promise.

[SIGHS] Ta-da.

♪ I know there's something

♪ In the wake of your smile

The song is this '80s band...

Shh!

♪ I get a notion

♪ From the look In your eyes, yeah

Is that...

Yes, my ex, Sam.

[GRUNTS]

Oh, wait, watch this right here.

♪ Listen to your heart...

Sam and I have this thing for octopuses. Or octopi.

It's kind of like our relationship mascot.

♪ Listen to your heart ♪

So, what do you think?

I think you should delete that.

Put it in the trash, empty the bin and have your laptop cremated.

It's that bad?

It makes you look desperate.

Well, I am desperate.

Yeah, but girls aren't into desperate guys.

Well, then how am I supposed to let her know how I feel?

You don't. You have to act like you're totally over her.

Like you don't care.

Then she'll want you back.

And you know how to get over her?

Have a little fun.

And I know just the place.

Don't you worry, Mrs. Goodwin.

Jason here has an E-Class ready for you so you can get on with your day.

[DOOR BELL JINGLING]

Afternoon, welcome to LaRusso, North Hollywood.

Where's Robby?

Oh, wait a minute, it's you.

You know I almost died up on that billboard 'cause of the shit you pulled?

You owe me a new pair of oxfords, pal.

Look, man, I'm not in the mood, all right?

I've been to three of these damn LaRusso dealerships already.

They said Robby's been working here. Just tell me where he is.

Hmm... [CLICKS TONGUE]

I'm sorry. I can't do that.

Look, I know you and Daniel have beef.

He kicked your ass in high school, you've been stewing,

but I got enough crap to deal with

without getting involved in your little karate soap opera, so...

[GRUNTING]

Whoa! Whoa!

Okay, okay, okay.

Now you put your hands on me. This is not a dojo.

This is the real world. You don't just throw people around.

This is a place of business, okay? Ow!

Where's Robby?

Jesus Christ.

I don't know, he's not here.

Probably Daniel's house. He moved in.

[BREATHING HEAVILY]

He lives with the LaRussos?

[PANTING]

DEMETRI: The Warlock of Narfoor's back? He just died.

Have some continuity.

Still can't wait to read that new issue, huh?

Nice hair. What is this, your Red Hulk phase?

I saw your Yelp review.

Take it down.

And ruin my journalistic integrity?

Look, I'm sorry, but someone had to say something.

And besides, taking it down could hurt my Yelp Elite status.

[GRUNTS]

[CLATTERING]

I said take it down.

You think I'm afraid of you?

I know who you really are,

Eli.

So, why don't you, Rocksteady and Bebop

just leave me alone, okay?

[SCOFFS]

Great. So, this is what it's come to.

Gang assault.

Take it down or we take you down.

You'd actually hurt me?

Well, guess what?

You're not the only one that knows karate.

I just joined Miyagi-Do.

[NO SHELTER PLAYING]

[SCOFFS] All right. Let's see what you got.

[GRUNTING]

MAN: Hey! What's going on back there?

Get him!

♪ Young heart is hard to hold

♪ It's young and time

♪ Time for war

♪ Danger! No freedom from

Shit!

♪ No shelter Is easy to come... ♪

[WOMAN GRUNTS]

[GRUNTS]

What the...

Sorry!

Where'd he go?

CHRIS: Come on, man.

We don't have to do this. I think he learned his lesson.

And who told you to think?

Fan out.

Come on.

Right. Of course they left.

It didn't have to be this way.

You could've joined Cobra Kai if you weren't such a pussy.

At least I'm not an asshole.

[MITCH GRUNTS]

You're dead meat.

[SAM GRUNTS]

Get back. You guys need to back off.

I don't want to have to hit a girl.

You wouldn't stand a chance.

[SCOFFS]

Five against three?

More like two and a half.

[ALL GRUNTING]

SAM: Demetri, look out!

DEMETRI: No, no, no, no.

[BOTH GRUNTING]

[CROWD GASPS]

[ROBBY GRUNTS]

[CROWD GASPS]

We saved your chicken.

Thanks.

[ROCK MUSIC PLAYING ON CAR STEREO]

[MUSIC STOPS]

[CAR DOOR CLOSES]

JOHNNY: You have my kid in your house?

Johnny?

Oh, hey, Carmen.

Got your washing machine there?

Uh, yeah.

Are you all right?

Oh, yeah, I'm good, I'm good.

How are you?

You've been drinking?

Uh...

Okay.

Um...

Come, come. Come in.

All right.

We'll go to your place?

Mmm-hmm.

SAM: It's like we were back at the pond.

You went left...

And you went right.

Yeah.

And I can't believe how high you got off that table.

Hey, hey, hey, Mom told me. You guys okay?

Yeah. Yeah, Dad, we're fine.

All right, good. Good.

What... What happened?

Well, they were gonna hurt Demetri.

We had to do something.

Are you mad at us?

Oh... [CHUCKLES]

No, I'm not mad.

I'm proud of you.

Karate isn't only about self-defense. It's about protecting others.

Just don't give me a heart attack like that ever again, all right?

I mean, just 'cause we train to fight, doesn't mean I wanna see you in a fight.

[SIGHS] And you.

I'm glad you're part of this family.

[EXHALES]

I heard you ran the 100-yard dash in under ten seconds.

[CHUCKLES SOFTLY]

Some people learn faster than others.

Don't be discouraged.

Come on. Let's face the facts.

I can't sand the floor, I can't wax on, I can barely wax off.

Meanwhile, we've got Jon Snow and Daenerys Targaryen in there

and I'm just...

Sam Tarly.

Sam Tarly did kill a White Walker.

You watch Game of Thrones?

Oh, I am so down with GoT.

And if it's taught us anything,

it's that anyone could be the hero.

Right?

Come on, show me sand the floor.

Here?

Yep. It's as good a place as any. Come on.

Now, we're gonna take it nice and slow.

Okay? Bow to me.

[EXCLAIMS]

Sand the floor.

Look at my eyes. Sand the floor.

Other side.

Nice.

You beat up Demetri over a Yelp review?

What the hell were you even thinking?

He joined Miyagi-Do.

So what?

He's your friend.

He's a fucking nerd!

And he'll always be a nerd.

You know what?

I like this.

And I like these.

But I'm not dating a bully.

Where are you going?

We're done.

No, we're not.

This means forever.

And I didn't ask you to do that.

Hey.

[ENGINE STARTS]

Hey!

[DOOR BELL JINGLES]

[GRUNTING]

You get into a fight?

With Miyagi-Do.

[GRUNTING]

We lost.

No, you didn't.

The fight is only over when you say it is.

Sounds like you and this Daniel guy have a lot of issues.

[SCOFFS]

Issues.

You don't know the half of it.

He's been a thorn in my side since high school.

What did he do to you in high school?

[GRUNTING]

Let's just say he made my life miserable.

And now, he moves my son into his house.

I just want to finish this.

I, uh, understand that you're angry.

This man sounds like a real jerk.

The worst.

But the toll it's going to take on you, Johnny,

it's not worth it.

These things don't end well. Trust me.

I've seen it with my own eyes.

My ex-husband had many enemies.

The only way to end a rivalry

is for someone to rise above it.

You have to be the bigger man.

TORY: Ready? Three, two, one, go! [YELLS]

MIGUEL: Oh, my gosh. You are insane.

[LAUGHING]

Yeah, I heard that before.

[EXHALES]

So dizzy.

You're having fun, right?

Yes, I am having fun.

You know, when you said you had a place to go,

I figured it'd be some place where you needed a fake ID.

Yeah, we can go somewhere like that.

My girlfriend bartends at this place over on Cahuenga.

No, no, no, no. I kind of dig the abandoned playground vibes.

It looks like an awesome place

to fight off a zombie apocalypse.

Shit, what time is it?

[GRUNTS]

What are we...

Wait for it.

[AIRPLANE ENGINE WHIRRING]

Holy shit! That was awesome.

Every night, 10:36 on the dot.

It's the last flight out of Burbank.

Whoa...

Sam and I once went to this ice cream shop in Burbank...

Oh, my God.

You were on such a roll.

You went like almost an hour without mentioning her.

Yeah, I'm sorry.

Uh...

Sensei just said to go all-in and make a move,

and I'm still trying to figure out what that means.

Well, I think it means exactly what it sounds like.

Yeah?

Make a move.

[UPBEAT ROCK MUSIC PLAYING]

Still up, too, huh?

Too much adrenaline.

[CHUCKLES]

You want a s'more?

Never say no to free marshmallows.

Whoa, whoa, whoa...

Are you making a s'more with a peanut butter cup?

I call them "sand-mores." I'm kind of a genius.

Ooh! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!

[BOTH BLOWING]

I'm sorry.

No. No, it's okay.

No, I mean, you gotta understand, I've...

I've been in a bad situation for a long time.

And now finally, something good's happening and...

I can't mess it up.

Not that you'd be messing it up, but your dad, he...

I understand.

Well, this just got awkward.

Yep. [SIGHS]

[FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING]

Let's finish the fight.

[CAN RATTLING]

They even took Mr. Miyagi's Medal of Honor.

SAM: Dad?

MIYAGI: Choose.

Oh, no.

[MIYAGI SPEAKING IN FOREIGN LANGUAGE]

[SPEAKING FOREIGN LANGUAGE]

[MIYAGI SPEAKING IN FOREIGN LANGUAGE]

[IN ENGLISH] Mr. LaRusso?

Dad, where are you going?

[ENGINE STARTS]

[GRUNTING]

[CAR APPROACHING]

JOHNNY: Nice work, Diaz.

Bow. Go again.

[CAR DOOR OPENS AND CLOSES]

[DOOR BELL JINGLES]

The hell do you think you're doing?

Like you don't know.

Take your shoes off the mat. You're disrespecting my dojo.

You're seriously gonna talk to me about disrespecting dojos

after what you just did to mine?

I don't know what the hell you're talking about.

I didn't do anything to your dojo.

Just like you didn't slug one of my employees, huh?

[SCOFFING]

You know, part of me actually felt bad for you at one point,

but you make it so easy to remember who the bad guy is in all of this.

You call yourself a sensei? You don't even know what a sensei is.

A sensei mentors. A sensei elevates.

He doesn't teach destruction and disrespect!

I already said I don't know what you're talking about, LaRusso.

And you don't know what you're talking about either.

Yeah, well, I know you don't...

You don't earn a Medal of Honor by stealing it.

Let me tell you something about your sensei.

He might teach you how to fight,

but he doesn't know a thing about what it takes to truly win at life.

If you want to help yourselves before it's too late,

the doors of Miyagi-Do? Wide open.

You come in here and poach my students?

And what are you gonna do about it?

You know I'm not gonna strike first.

I'm gonna be a bigger man.

Yeah.

We'll see about that.

[DOOR BELL JINGLES]

Where do you think you're going?

[DOOR CLOSES]

What the hell, Chris?

I never liked it here.

[DOOR BELL JINGLES]

JOHNNY: Who trashed the Miyagi dojo?

I want you to figure out who did it.

I gotta go deal with something.

[GRUNTING]

JOHNNY: Can you man the fort?

JOHN: Of course.

Come back for another beating?

Robby.

ROBBY: This is one of the guys who was beating on Demetri.

We just want to learn Miyagi-Do karate.

DANIEL: It doesn't matter who anyone was before they stepped into this dojo.

We are all Miyagi-Do.

[ALL GRUNTING]

JOHN: You are all Cobra Kai.

You're about to begin your real training.

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