Original subtitles

Kids from my dojo told me to get an Apple.

You sold me a lemon.

The piece of shit won't even turn on.

First of all, it's a Dell,

and it's not broken.

Have you tried pressing the power button?

Yeah, of course. I'm not an idiot.

[WHIRS]

[START-UP SOUND]

Have you seriously never owned a computer before?

Yeah. I'm not a nerd.

All right.

Let's see what you got.

[COMPUTER START-UP SOUND]

Move, stupid arrow.

Bullshit.

Where the hell is the Internet?

[BEEPING]

Oh, shit.

Yeah, asshole, I clicked all the buttons.

I still can't find the Internet.

Have you tried connecting to the Wi-Fi?

JOHNNY: Obviously.

What's "Wi-Fi"?

Dude, this is a pawn shop, not the Geek Squad.

Figure it out.

[CLICKING]

[CHIMES]

[CHUCKLES]

What?

Truth?

I knew it.

You're next.

[BLOWS LANDING]

That gets a thumbs-up.

[LAUGHING]

You've gotta block that!

Ugh. Stupid ads.

DANIEL: Inner peace, focus, balance.

These are just some of the skills that you will master

when you join Miyagi-Do Karate.

I'm Daniel LaRusso,

and before I was the number-one auto dealer in the Valley...

What the hell?

...I was two-time All Valley under-18 champion.

Now, you can learn the secrets of Okinawan karate,

true karate, by joining the Miyagi-Do team.

Son of a bitch.

Don't be a snake in the grass, be a champion.

Tweet us at #TeamMiyagiDo.

And all lessons are free. That's right, free.

Because at Miyagi-Do, it's not about the money.

It's about the karate.

[UPBEAT POP MUSIC PLAYING]

Um...

Mulligan, send it back.

There's no mulligans in volleyball.

DEMETRI: [SCOFFS] Says you.

Water break.

GIRL: "Cobra Kai"?

You guys won that karate tournament, right?

The All Valley... The Rumble in Reseda?

Yes, uh,

we, uh... We certainly did.

Cool.

We're gonna go for a swim, but maybe play with you later?

Most def.

Uh, that means "most definitely."

[GIGGLES]

[CHUCKLES] Look at you, player.

It'd be nice if you actually earned the Cobra Kai cred you're so happy to take.

When are you ever gonna sign up?

[STAMMERS] I don't know.

I'm kind of enjoying the gain without the pain.

MIGUEL: Hawk.

ELI: Hey, there's the man.

What's up?

No. No more of this.

Look, it's a beautiful day out,

the beach is packed with babes.

No more sulking about Sam.

I'm not sulking about Sam. It's about Sensei.

Is this about his rap sheet? My parents read it online.

I think it makes him more badass.

It's about him and Robby Keene.

And let's lean more into the Fourth of July.

More red, white and blue, more fireworks.

Valley Fest is gonna be even bigger this year,

so we really want to stand out, okay?

Mmm-hmm.

I brought lunch for my favorite CEO.

Come on, you can't stay mad forever.

And why would I be mad?

Just because my husband spent half our Q3 marketing budget

on a commercial for his karate gym?

Uh... You know it's called a dojo.

Look, the dealership is gonna get all

the publicity it needs from Valley Fest.

For Miyagi-Do, this commercial could be a real game-changer.

Is this a midlife crisis?

Is that what this is?

Is it like the time that Jessica Bluestein's husband started that ska band

and then shacked up with a Pilates instructor half his age?

Look. [SIGHS]

I'm sorry. I'm sorry I made the commercial

without discussing it with you.

I promise I won't ever do that again.

Thank you.

I just need to amp things up now that John Kreese is back.

You know, Johnny Lawrence is one thing,

but Kreese? That guy's dangerous.

Oh, yeah, real dangerous. A geriatric karate coach.

Amanda, this is a man who literally faked his own death.

Twice, apparently.

I know it sounds nuts,

but that's the kind of psychopath we're dealing with here.

Okay, I never thought I'd say this, Daniel,

but I kind of miss the simple days of dicks on billboards.

ANOUSH: Hey, Sensei? Huh?

Saw the commercial.

Almost makes me want to get my karate on.

Oh, and for the record, I do not think that you're guilty of cultural appropriation.

Cultural what? What are you even talking about?

You can suck up all you want, Anoush,

but you are not going back to Encino.

We need you here in North Hollywood.

ANOUSH: I'm not a North Hollywood guy.

My skin is way too sensitive for tattoos.

"Asian whitewashing"?

They're calling me "Daniel LaRacist" on here.

"Stereotypical music." That was Mr. Miyagi's favorite song.

Look, don't worry about that, okay?

Some people have nothing better to do than to post negative comments.

The important thing is, you got a lot of likes.

Sure, some of those are probably bots,

but you'll definitely get a bunch of students.

So, I did a deep-dive online, and you were right.

Sensei is definitely Keene's father.

[SIGHS]

I just don't understand why he wouldn't tell us.

I don't know.

But it explains why he's giving us shit for kicking Keene's ass at the tournament.

Show no mercy, unless it's his son.

Then we gotta be pussies.

You guys, have you seen the commercial?

Sam's dad started his own dojo and he disses Cobra Kai.

Because at Miyagi-Do, it's not about the money.

It's about the karate.

"Free karate." How am I supposed to compete with that?

"Snake in the grass." He's talking about us.

"Miyagi-Do."

I should've taken care of that old bastard when I had the chance.

STUDENT: Wait, why are we paying for karate

if this other guy's giving it away for free?

JOHN: This is an act of war.

It demands an immediate response.

I know what it needs.

And I know exactly what I'm gonna do.

[BOTH GRUNTING]

Remember, keep moving in a circle.

You know, I did make it to the All Valley finals.

That's just 'cause you didn't have to get through me.

[CHUCKLES]

Listen, I wanna thank you.

For what?

Last week, I had no hot water.

This week, I have a Jacuzzi in my backyard.

Well, I wouldn't get too excited. We did find a dead possum in there.

[BOTH LAUGHING]

Seriously.

Thank you.

It's been a little rough lately,

and it's nice to have people look out for you.

That's what friends do.

Not all friends.

All right, guys. Enough chitchat. Let's see where you're at.

Good afternoon.

Hey, uh, we're looking for a Miyagi-Do?

You're in the right place.

The commercial said lessons are free?

They sure are.

You guys ready to get started?

Yeah.

DANIEL: Great.

Have a couple cans of paint out front.

The fence back here could use a fresh coat.

Robby'll show ya.

You want us to paint your fence?

Keep an open mind, guys. It'll all make sense later.

In order to fully learn Miyagi-Do Karate,

you have to unlearn your misconceptions about what constitutes training.

I knew this was bullshit.

This was all just some scam to get kids to do your yard work, huh?

No, no, no, this is part of the process.

[SCOFFS] Yeah. "The process."

My mom was right.

With car salesmen, you always gotta read the fine print.

I'm not trying to sell you anything. I'm trying to teach you karate.

[SIGHS] Come on. Let's go check out that place with the snake.

There's a lot of talk going around the Valley about free karate.

But everyone knows that in life, you get what you pay for.

You wanna really kick the competition?

[GRUNTS]

Then you need to get your ass over to Cobra Kai.

Screw that lame meditation bullshit.

What you need is bone-crunching, face-smashing, good ol' American karate.

[YELLS]

Enough about self-defense.

Learn self-offense!

Don't be a pussy.

Join Cobra Kai,

and let me teach you the way of the fist.

And cut.

All right, did we get it?

I think so.

All right, great.

Just make sure the Cobra Kai snake comes in at the end, all right?

I want it to really pop.

Make it chrome.

And throw Thunderstruck under it.

I'm pretty sure the rights for that song will cost too much.

No, I already own it. Cassette's in the car.

Oh. And put one of those hash browns at the end.

You know, like, "Hash brown, Team Cobra Kai" or something.

And then send it to the Internet!

Hey, tell that fat piece of crap Zakarian

to get the rest of this shit out of here.

I got a lot of new students coming in.

This isn't a storage locker anymore.

Sensei, can we talk to you about something?

Look, if it's about the infomercial, I know.

It's not about the commercial.

It's about Robby Keene.

What about him?

I saw his picture on your refrigerator.

I wasn't snooping,

but we know he's your son.

That's why you got mad at us after the tournament, right?

Is that what you think?

Um...

Yeah, Robby's my son,

but that has nothing to do with how I run my dojo.

It's also none of your damn business, do you understand?

Yes, Sensei.

But, Sensei, I...

JOHNNY: [INTERRUPTS] "But" nothing.

Get out.

You two clean mats for the rest of the week.

[SIGHS]

Something else, Mr. Diaz?

No.

AMANDA: Okay. Okay.

All right, all right. All right, that's great now.

Stay right there.

Oh, hey, Sensei, how's it going?

It's been better.

These kids have no patience.

They see a paintbrush and sandpaper and they take off.

I just wish they could see the forest for the trees, you know what I mean?

MAN: Check. Check, one. Check.

[MICROPHONE FEEDBACK]

Maybe you can give 'em a demonstration, you know?

Give them the old razzle-dazzle.

[SCOFFS] That's...

That's not a bad idea.

No, Daniel, I was kidding.

No, no, no.

Think about it. Valley Fest is huge.

You know how much business this event always drives to the dealership.

If I could just get those eyeballs on the dojo...

You could siphon business from our dealership?

No, no, not siphon.

Synergize.

Synergize, a karate demonstration.

Right here, the students and Sensei of Miyagi-Do Karate

as brought to you by LaRusso Auto Group.

It's a home run.

Well, I know the customers would love to see you in that gi.

Just the customers, huh?

[DOORBELL JINGLES]

The donut shop's throwing away fritters,

but you keep your paws off my bounty.

Can you just be homeless somewhere else?

You taking me home, baby?

Yeah, you wish.

Wow!

I gotta tell you,

it doesn't look good.

LaRusso training your son like his own.

Thanks for your concern.

Not sure how you put up with that.

You should be training that boy.

Hey, it's never gonna happen, all right?

Hey, never say "never," okay?

I never thought I'd see Cobra Kai again in my life.

It took my best student to remind me that anything is possible.

I guess it's good you still got that Mexican.

Miguel's from Ecuador.

JOHN: Six of one.

Better hope that LaRusso doesn't sink his mitts into him.

Hey, Sensei. What's going on?

Let's go for a ride.

Good, huh?

Yeah.

Secret's the chopped onions.

Sal keeps it simple.

None of that veggie crap.

Just a hot grill and some quality chuck.

You see that building over there?

The hospital?

That's where Robby was born.

February 4th, 2002.

It was a Monday.

His mom was in labor for 17 hours.

It must've been crazy.

Yeah, I'm sure it was.

I wasn't there.

And...

My mom had just died.

I was a real mess.

I never knew my father, so she was all I had.

Next thing I know, I'm gonna be a dad.

Scared the shit out of me.

So, instead of being up there welcoming him into the world,

I was down here, soaking up the booze from a three-day bender,

trying to get the courage to walk across the street.

I never got there.

I failed my kid

on his very first day in this world,

[VOICE BREAKS] and I've been failing him every day since.

Sensei, this is personal stuff. You don't have to tell me.

No, I... [SIGHS]

I should've told you a long time ago.

It's one of the most painful things in my life.

But one of the best things

has been teaching you,

and I want you to know, no matter what happens, I promise...

I'll always be on your side,

and I'll always have your best interests at heart.

Thank you.

Yeah, all right.

[CELL PHONE CHIMES AND BUZZES]

Sorry.

What is it?

It's from Aisha.

She heard that Miyagi-Do is doing some sort of demo at Valley Fest.

Oh, they are, huh?

[BAND PLAYING MUSIC]

[INDISTINCT CHATTERING]

[PLAYING MUSIC]

Actually, can you not... Can you leave it in a little bit longer? Thank you.

[AIR HISSING]

ANNOUNCER: You know, I've been forecasting all week

that it's gonna be a real scorcher.

But I promise...

Hey, guys. Thanks for doing this.

How you feeling?

It's a little short notice, but I think we got it.

Good, good.

I was thinking, for the finale, I could do some kind of flip kick.

Nah, don't worry about the finale. I got it covered.

What's that for?

That?

[YELLING]

You'll see.

[CHEERING]

[STRUMMING]

[CHEERING AND APPLAUSE]

All right, all right, all right!

Coming up next, do I have a treat for you.

Please direct your attention to the LaRusso Auto Group

for a presentation from Miyagi-Do Karate.

All right!

[CROWD CHEERING]

[ORIENTAL MUSIC PLAYING]

[ALL GRUNTING]

[APPLAUSE]

Is there gonna be any fighting?

I think so.

[MUSIC CONTINUES]

That's called a bo.

That's what Donatello used to use when he...

He was my favorite Turtle, so...

[CROWD EXCLAIMS]

[APPLAUSE AND CHEERING]

And now, time for the grand finale.

[RATTLING]

[MICROPHONE FEEDBACK]

STUDENTS: Cobra Kai!

ALL: [CHANTING] Cobra Kai! Cobra Kai! Cobra Kai!

[ROCK MUSIC PLAYING]

What the hell is going on here?

[CROWD CHEERING]

[CHANTING CONTINUES]

[ALL GRUNTING]

[CROWD CHEERING]

[FIREWORKS WHISTLING]

[ALL GRUNTING]

More sparks.

Cobras, show them what real karate looks like!

[BOTH GRUNTING]

Yes!

Noice!

[CHEERING]

[CROWD CHEERING]

[AISHA GRUNTING]

[CHUCKLES]

Right here.

Cobras, light it up!

[CROWD CHEERING]

CROWD: [CHANTING] Cobra Kai! Cobra Kai!

Cobra Kai! Cobra Kai! Cobra Kai!

You did it, Sensei.

No, we did it.

[CHEERING AND APPLAUSE]

I thought my last group of recruits was pathetic.

Which one of you has the balls to take on the champ?

GIRL: I'll take him on.

Game on.

DANIEL: Look, I've tried everything to promote Miyagi-Do.

If this doesn't work, nothing will.

ROBBY: Cobra Kai's more popular.

All right? We need to show them we can fight, too.

DEMETRI: [ON PHONE] It was aggravated assault, Eli.

Snitches get stitches.

JOHN: The key is making your enemy think you are retreating.

That's when you strike the hardest.

[GRUNTING]

Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0