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Dre: As a parent, you want
to protect your baby
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00:00:03,250 --> 00:00:04,750
from everything.
3
00:00:04,750 --> 00:00:06,750
Like stairs...
4
00:00:06,750 --> 00:00:09,210
Poison...
5
00:00:09,210 --> 00:00:10,460
And White people
trying to touch their hair.
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00:00:10,460 --> 00:00:11,290
It's beautiful.
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00:00:11,290 --> 00:00:13,750
[ Indistinct murmuring ]
8
00:00:13,750 --> 00:00:15,750
But once
they hit middle school,
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00:00:15,750 --> 00:00:18,380
the biggest thing you have
to protect them from
10
00:00:18,380 --> 00:00:19,670
is themselves.
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00:00:19,670 --> 00:00:22,460
Jack: Jack Johnson,
cinnamon challenge, 2019.
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00:00:22,460 --> 00:00:25,080
Esskeetit!
13
00:00:25,080 --> 00:00:26,830
[ Coughing ]
14
00:00:28,460 --> 00:00:29,750
Damn it, Jack!
15
00:00:29,750 --> 00:00:31,290
I'm Jack Johnson,
16
00:00:31,290 --> 00:00:33,750
and this is
the flu season challenge.
17
00:00:33,750 --> 00:00:35,670
Esskeetit.
18
00:00:35,670 --> 00:00:37,960
[ Moans ]
19
00:00:37,960 --> 00:00:39,710
[ Thermometer beeps ]
20
00:00:39,710 --> 00:00:41,250
Damn it, Jack!
21
00:00:41,250 --> 00:00:43,170
2019 Nitro Circus
Challenge!
22
00:00:44,750 --> 00:00:47,040
Esskeetit!
23
00:00:48,580 --> 00:00:49,790
[ Shouts ]
24
00:00:49,790 --> 00:00:51,380
[ Crashes ]
25
00:00:51,380 --> 00:00:53,540
[ Groans ]
Damn it, Jack!
26
00:00:53,540 --> 00:00:55,670
[ Weakly ]
Did I esskeetit? [ Tires squeal ]
27
00:00:55,670 --> 00:00:57,580
So I was on high-alert
28
00:00:57,580 --> 00:01:01,000
for situations where Jack
could get himself into trouble.
29
00:01:01,000 --> 00:01:02,790
Guess who got
new outfits
30
00:01:02,790 --> 00:01:04,880
for the school
dance!
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00:01:04,880 --> 00:01:07,170
I don't know why she does that.
It's me and Jack.
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00:01:07,170 --> 00:01:09,580
It's gonna be
so much fun.
33
00:01:09,580 --> 00:01:10,790
Mm-hmm.
34
00:01:10,790 --> 00:01:13,210
No. It's not.
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00:01:13,210 --> 00:01:14,670
Because
I'm chaperoning.
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00:01:14,670 --> 00:01:16,580
Esskeetit! Esskeetit!
Esskeetit! Esskeetit!
37
00:01:16,580 --> 00:01:18,040
Esskeetit!
38
00:01:20,080 --> 00:01:23,330
♪♪
39
00:01:23,330 --> 00:01:26,080
I-I'll pay you $50 cash
if you don't chaperone.
40
00:01:26,080 --> 00:01:28,500
You protesting
only tells me
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00:01:28,500 --> 00:01:31,120
that you plan on doing
some dirt at the dance.
42
00:01:32,460 --> 00:01:34,040
You played yourself.
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00:01:34,040 --> 00:01:35,210
Damn it, Jack.
44
00:01:35,210 --> 00:01:36,380
Okay, Dad,
if you're not going
45
00:01:36,380 --> 00:01:37,960
to back out of it for him,
just do it for me.
46
00:01:37,960 --> 00:01:39,880
If you show up dancing
and being all you,
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00:01:39,880 --> 00:01:41,880
the kids at school
will treat me like Jack.
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00:01:41,880 --> 00:01:44,540
[ Sighs ] Baby girl, we all
have a price to pay for Jack,
49
00:01:44,540 --> 00:01:46,710
and sadly,
this is yours.
50
00:01:46,710 --> 00:01:47,960
It's the Jack Tax.
51
00:01:47,960 --> 00:01:49,040
[ Sighs ]
Mom...
52
00:01:49,040 --> 00:01:50,040
Don't worry sweetie.
I got you.
53
00:01:50,040 --> 00:01:51,540
[ Sighs ]
Thank you.
54
00:01:51,540 --> 00:01:53,210
So glad I have
one parent who gets it.
55
00:01:53,210 --> 00:01:54,580
Hey.
Come on, Jack.
56
00:01:54,580 --> 00:01:56,120
Let's go try on your outfit,
and I'll tell you
57
00:01:56,120 --> 00:01:58,670
what's gonna get you roasted
at the dance. Let's go.
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00:01:58,670 --> 00:02:00,250
I think his outfit
is very nice.
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00:02:02,670 --> 00:02:04,460
Dre, I think maybe
60
00:02:04,460 --> 00:02:06,040
you should pass
on the chaperoning.
61
00:02:06,040 --> 00:02:07,380
I don't want you
to embarrass Diane.
62
00:02:07,380 --> 00:02:09,500
I get that, but
I'm worried about Jack.
63
00:02:09,500 --> 00:02:10,920
I know.
Someone needs to be around
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00:02:10,920 --> 00:02:12,880
to keep an eye on him
during his experimental phase,
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00:02:12,880 --> 00:02:15,290
especially at
a private school dance
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00:02:15,290 --> 00:02:16,960
where there's drugs,
alcohol,
67
00:02:16,960 --> 00:02:18,500
and all kinds
of other stuff.
68
00:02:18,500 --> 00:02:21,210
You're right. You should be
there to look out for Jack.
69
00:02:21,210 --> 00:02:22,420
Thank you.
70
00:02:22,420 --> 00:02:24,120
But you cannot --
71
00:02:24,120 --> 00:02:27,500
under any
circumstances --
72
00:02:27,500 --> 00:02:29,040
dance.
What?
73
00:02:29,040 --> 00:02:31,540
I will not
let you embarrass Diane.
74
00:02:31,540 --> 00:02:33,250
But what if
they play my jam? No.
75
00:02:33,250 --> 00:02:34,790
What if
there's a circle
76
00:02:34,790 --> 00:02:36,540
with no one
in the middle? No.
77
00:02:36,540 --> 00:02:39,460
What if the spotlight
hits me just right?
78
00:02:39,460 --> 00:02:40,500
No!
79
00:02:40,500 --> 00:02:41,880
Fine!
80
00:02:41,880 --> 00:02:43,880
I won't dance!
Thank you.
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00:02:43,880 --> 00:02:45,670
But just know --
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00:02:45,670 --> 00:02:48,330
you have robbed
these kids of beauty.
83
00:02:48,330 --> 00:02:49,290
♪ Unh ♪
84
00:02:51,380 --> 00:02:52,210
Mm.
85
00:02:53,540 --> 00:02:55,750
Okay, date night!
86
00:02:55,750 --> 00:02:57,460
What do you
want to watch?
87
00:02:57,460 --> 00:02:58,830
What do you
want to watch?
88
00:02:58,830 --> 00:03:00,710
Let's say what we want
to watch at the same time.
89
00:03:01,920 --> 00:03:03,040
Both: "A Star is Born."
90
00:03:03,040 --> 00:03:04,960
Oh, God,
I love us.
91
00:03:06,500 --> 00:03:08,960
Listen, have you --
Hey, hey, hey!
92
00:03:08,960 --> 00:03:10,080
Make room for Jesus.
93
00:03:11,960 --> 00:03:13,710
Mm-hmm.
94
00:03:13,710 --> 00:03:14,880
Mnh-mnh!
95
00:03:14,880 --> 00:03:17,620
Jesus likes to stretch out.
96
00:03:17,620 --> 00:03:19,000
Uh-huh.
97
00:03:19,000 --> 00:03:22,670
Yeah, yeah,
well, that's more like it.
98
00:03:22,670 --> 00:03:25,710
And, Junior, have you seen
Devante's Bubbasnug?
99
00:03:25,710 --> 00:03:28,080
I'm asking 'cause
you're really the only one
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00:03:28,080 --> 00:03:29,380
looking after that child.
101
00:03:29,380 --> 00:03:30,330
Bubbasnug?
102
00:03:30,330 --> 00:03:32,580
It's a blankie
and pacifier in one.
103
00:03:32,580 --> 00:03:35,040
Genius collab. He had it
when we were at the par--
104
00:03:36,460 --> 00:03:37,670
[ Whispering ] Oh, no.
105
00:03:37,670 --> 00:03:38,710
We must have left it there.
106
00:03:38,710 --> 00:03:39,830
He can't fall asleep
without it.
107
00:03:39,830 --> 00:03:41,500
Aw, poor little guy.
108
00:03:41,500 --> 00:03:43,330
It's his favorite thing
in the world.
109
00:03:43,330 --> 00:03:44,670
We have to go back
and look for it.
110
00:03:44,670 --> 00:03:46,330
Let me grab my stuff.
Okay.
111
00:03:46,330 --> 00:03:47,790
And then we can
get back to doing
112
00:03:47,790 --> 00:03:49,540
what we were doing.
113
00:03:49,540 --> 00:03:52,330
You better not get back
to doing what you were doing.
114
00:03:52,330 --> 00:03:55,500
Mm-hmm. 'Cause Black Jesus
sees you everywhere!
115
00:03:55,500 --> 00:03:56,920
Uh-huh.
116
00:03:56,920 --> 00:03:59,290
So my plan
was to lock down Jack
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00:03:59,290 --> 00:04:01,380
and not embarrass Diane,
118
00:04:01,380 --> 00:04:03,040
as if I even could.
119
00:04:03,040 --> 00:04:05,710
Hello, Jack's dad.
Hello, Diane.
120
00:04:05,710 --> 00:04:07,500
You don't know me,
121
00:04:07,500 --> 00:04:09,290
and I don't know you.
122
00:04:09,290 --> 00:04:11,330
Yes, just continue
to lay low for me,
123
00:04:11,330 --> 00:04:13,080
or even leave.
124
00:04:13,080 --> 00:04:15,540
Whatever feels right.
Okay.
125
00:04:15,540 --> 00:04:16,670
She doesn't get it,
126
00:04:16,670 --> 00:04:19,290
but I bet you're glad
I'm here.
127
00:04:19,290 --> 00:04:21,580
Always happy to have
a parent help out.
128
00:04:21,580 --> 00:04:23,580
Yeah, well, but these other
parents aren't like me.
129
00:04:23,580 --> 00:04:26,670
I know the difference
between a flash drive
130
00:04:26,670 --> 00:04:29,000
and a [quietly]
vape pen.
131
00:04:29,000 --> 00:04:31,040
Do you?
132
00:04:31,040 --> 00:04:33,710
[ Scoffs ]
Flash drive.
133
00:04:33,710 --> 00:04:35,960
This is the key
to my Civic, Mr. Johnson.
134
00:04:38,080 --> 00:04:39,710
Okay.
[ Chuckles ]
135
00:04:39,710 --> 00:04:42,170
Is that
a glitter bomb? No,
136
00:04:42,170 --> 00:04:44,120
it's two
glitter bombs.
137
00:04:44,120 --> 00:04:46,080
[ Both laugh ]
So, what are you boys doing?
138
00:04:46,080 --> 00:04:47,170
Nothing.
139
00:04:47,170 --> 00:04:49,670
Yeah, these are --
140
00:04:49,670 --> 00:04:51,710
are --
are dance s-sticks.
141
00:04:51,710 --> 00:04:53,000
Really?
142
00:04:53,000 --> 00:04:54,540
Give them to me.
143
00:04:54,540 --> 00:04:56,120
Give them to me.
144
00:04:57,540 --> 00:04:59,960
Ha! So you thought
you could pull one over on me?
145
00:04:59,960 --> 00:05:01,830
Please.
146
00:05:01,830 --> 00:05:05,250
I'm undefeated
against children.
147
00:05:05,250 --> 00:05:07,580
[ Shrieking ]
Esskeetit!
148
00:05:07,580 --> 00:05:09,540
[ Laughs ]
149
00:05:09,540 --> 00:05:10,750
DJ: Uh-oh!
150
00:05:10,750 --> 00:05:13,330
Look like we got
a parent on the floor!
151
00:05:13,330 --> 00:05:15,080
♪ Let me see you
pop them things ♪
152
00:05:15,080 --> 00:05:16,620
♪ Shake your...
doo doo brown ♪ Oh, that's --
153
00:05:16,620 --> 00:05:17,620
that's my jam.
154
00:05:17,620 --> 00:05:19,330
Come on, Dad.
You know you want it.
155
00:05:19,330 --> 00:05:20,460
No, no, no,
no, no, man.
156
00:05:20,460 --> 00:05:22,040
Let the kids dance.
It's their night.
157
00:05:22,040 --> 00:05:23,290
♪ I wanna rock my man ♪
158
00:05:23,290 --> 00:05:25,290
♪ I wan',
I wanna rock my man ♪
159
00:05:25,290 --> 00:05:26,620
♪ I wanna rock my man ♪
Uh, maybe it's my night, too.
160
00:05:26,620 --> 00:05:28,750
[ Chuckles ]
161
00:05:28,750 --> 00:05:31,330
All right,
come on, y'all!
162
00:05:31,330 --> 00:05:34,000
Come on! Ha, ha!
163
00:05:34,000 --> 00:05:36,540
It's a party now!
Come on, party!
164
00:05:36,540 --> 00:05:38,170
Party!
165
00:05:38,170 --> 00:05:39,880
♪ Man, man,
m-m-m-man ♪
166
00:05:39,880 --> 00:05:42,880
♪♪
167
00:05:42,880 --> 00:05:44,830
God is real.
168
00:05:44,830 --> 00:05:46,750
♪ Let me hear you say ♪
169
00:05:46,750 --> 00:05:48,290
♪ "Hey, hey, and more hey" ♪
Come on. Ride the pony! Come on!
170
00:05:48,290 --> 00:05:50,290
Ride the pony! Come on!
171
00:05:50,290 --> 00:05:52,380
Ride the pony!
Ha, ha!
172
00:05:52,380 --> 00:05:54,120
♪ Let me hear you say ♪
Come on!
173
00:05:54,120 --> 00:05:57,670
Whoo! Yeah!
174
00:05:57,670 --> 00:06:01,540
[ Applause ]
Thank you. Thank you very much.
175
00:06:01,540 --> 00:06:03,210
♪ Doo doo brown ♪
♪ Doo doo brown ♪
176
00:06:03,210 --> 00:06:05,210
♪ Doo doo brown ♪
Diane?
177
00:06:05,210 --> 00:06:06,710
♪ Doo doo brown ♪
♪ Doo doo brown ♪
178
00:06:06,710 --> 00:06:08,710
♪ Doo doo brown ♪
Man, why'd you make me dance?
179
00:06:08,710 --> 00:06:10,170
Diane!
180
00:06:10,170 --> 00:06:11,670
I'm sorry
I embarrassed you!
181
00:06:11,670 --> 00:06:14,880
♪♪
182
00:06:14,880 --> 00:06:16,250
♪ Shake your things, baby ♪
[ Exhales deeply ]
183
00:06:16,250 --> 00:06:18,080
♪ Shake your things, baby ♪
184
00:06:18,080 --> 00:06:18,920
♪ Shake, shake
them things, baby ♪
185
00:06:18,920 --> 00:06:20,710
Diane?
186
00:06:20,710 --> 00:06:21,750
Dad?!
187
00:06:23,880 --> 00:06:27,580
Noooooo!
188
00:06:27,580 --> 00:06:29,120
Mr. Johnson,
189
00:06:29,120 --> 00:06:31,880
I'm concerned about
your abilities as a chaperone.
190
00:06:31,880 --> 00:06:33,080
[ Whimpering ]
So am I.
191
00:06:37,790 --> 00:06:42,880
♪♪
192
00:06:42,880 --> 00:06:44,460
Mason: No one feels
like talking, huh?
193
00:06:44,460 --> 00:06:47,540
That's okay.
I'm totally fine with silence.
194
00:06:47,540 --> 00:06:49,960
Dr. Goldberg says I don't
have to narrate everything.
195
00:06:54,880 --> 00:06:56,380
Hey, did you hear
196
00:06:56,380 --> 00:06:57,790
that there were
some kids making out?
197
00:06:57,790 --> 00:06:59,290
[ Whimpers ]
198
00:06:59,290 --> 00:07:01,750
I wonder if there's
some pictures of that.
199
00:07:01,750 --> 00:07:03,170
That'd be nice to see.
200
00:07:03,170 --> 00:07:04,920
Oh, but then again,
201
00:07:04,920 --> 00:07:07,120
I also think that
young lovers deserve privacy.
202
00:07:08,290 --> 00:07:10,460
Mason?
Mm-hmm?
203
00:07:10,460 --> 00:07:13,330
How about we,
uh, don't talk?
204
00:07:14,750 --> 00:07:15,330
You got it.
205
00:07:17,670 --> 00:07:19,250
Does this car
have air bags?
206
00:07:19,250 --> 00:07:20,830
Mason, I said
please don't talk!
207
00:07:24,080 --> 00:07:26,420
[ Door opens ]
Hi!
208
00:07:26,420 --> 00:07:28,210
Dre: Go upstairs, and don't
come out until I figure out
209
00:07:28,210 --> 00:07:29,420
what to do
with both of you.
210
00:07:29,420 --> 00:07:30,830
Go!
211
00:07:30,830 --> 00:07:33,290
What happened?
Why are you back so soon,
212
00:07:33,290 --> 00:07:35,080
and why -- why do you
have pit stains?
213
00:07:35,080 --> 00:07:36,620
Did you dance?
214
00:07:36,620 --> 00:07:38,580
You know
who you married.
215
00:07:38,580 --> 00:07:40,040
I'm never
gonna dance again.
216
00:07:41,580 --> 00:07:43,500
Your son set off
a glitter bomb...
217
00:07:43,500 --> 00:07:46,670
[ Groans ]
...and your daughter -- your --
218
00:07:46,670 --> 00:07:48,620
[voice breaking] your daughter,
she broke my heart.
219
00:07:48,620 --> 00:07:50,170
How?
[ Whimpers ]
220
00:07:53,830 --> 00:07:55,710
I saw her
kissing a boy!
221
00:07:55,710 --> 00:07:56,880
Oh!
222
00:07:56,880 --> 00:07:58,670
That is so exciting!
223
00:07:58,670 --> 00:08:00,750
Oh, my God!
224
00:08:00,750 --> 00:08:03,420
What a moment!
It's not a moment, Bow!
225
00:08:03,420 --> 00:08:05,250
It was gross.
Oh, come on.
226
00:08:05,250 --> 00:08:06,750
It was
a head-wobbling,
227
00:08:06,750 --> 00:08:09,170
open-mouth,
public slob down.
228
00:08:09,170 --> 00:08:10,960
How long
were you watching?
229
00:08:10,960 --> 00:08:14,080
Long enough.
I saw everything.
230
00:08:14,080 --> 00:08:15,960
Damn it! I should've
never got that LASIK.
231
00:08:15,960 --> 00:08:18,380
Dre,
Diane kissing a boy
232
00:08:18,380 --> 00:08:21,330
is normal
and healthy.
233
00:08:21,330 --> 00:08:23,380
We -- We should be
excited for her,
234
00:08:23,380 --> 00:08:24,580
not shaming her.
235
00:08:24,580 --> 00:08:27,460
That does not
even sound right, Bow! What?
236
00:08:27,460 --> 00:08:30,250
Public kissing is
how a girl gets a reputation. Oh, my God.
237
00:08:30,250 --> 00:08:33,580
And it's my job to make sure
she does not become "that girl."
238
00:08:33,580 --> 00:08:35,960
That kind of talk
239
00:08:35,960 --> 00:08:39,790
is going to make her feel
ashamed about her body
240
00:08:39,790 --> 00:08:44,210
and about kissing and
about natural exploration.
241
00:08:44,210 --> 00:08:47,170
Will you please
stop talking, Bow? No, you stop
242
00:08:47,170 --> 00:08:50,040
I am gonna go
and reassure Diane
243
00:08:50,040 --> 00:08:53,580
about this exciting
and special night
244
00:08:53,580 --> 00:08:56,750
that you have made
very, very weird.
245
00:08:58,420 --> 00:08:59,960
Unbelievable.
246
00:08:59,960 --> 00:09:01,960
Diane,
Mommy's coming!
247
00:09:01,960 --> 00:09:06,920
♪♪
248
00:09:06,920 --> 00:09:07,580
[ Exhales deeply ]
249
00:09:07,580 --> 00:09:10,500
♪♪
250
00:09:10,500 --> 00:09:12,830
I'm Devante.
I'm a toddler.
251
00:09:12,830 --> 00:09:15,920
The natural flow of the park
sends me in...
252
00:09:15,920 --> 00:09:17,080
this direction!
253
00:09:17,080 --> 00:09:18,960
[ Grunts ]
254
00:09:18,960 --> 00:09:21,120
Come on, Bubbasnug.
255
00:09:21,120 --> 00:09:22,210
Ah, boom!
256
00:09:22,210 --> 00:09:23,420
Found it!
Really?
257
00:09:26,380 --> 00:09:29,250
No-- Oh, it's just
a gently used diaper.
258
00:09:29,250 --> 00:09:32,420
Okay, that's the third diaper
you've found.
259
00:09:32,420 --> 00:09:34,670
Can we just run
and get him a new pacifier?
260
00:09:34,670 --> 00:09:37,460
[ Scoffs ] Pacifier?
261
00:09:37,460 --> 00:09:38,750
You think I've been
acting like a jerk
262
00:09:38,750 --> 00:09:40,920
for a pacifier?
263
00:09:40,920 --> 00:09:43,380
No, he needs
his Bubbasnug.
264
00:09:43,380 --> 00:09:44,920
You know
what we should do?
265
00:09:44,920 --> 00:09:46,460
Break into the Bubbasnug
factory... Get in the car...
266
00:09:46,460 --> 00:09:47,830
...in Fontana.
...and go home.
267
00:09:49,460 --> 00:09:50,670
I thought we were
gonna say the same thing.
268
00:09:50,670 --> 00:09:52,420
Look, Junior,
269
00:09:52,420 --> 00:09:54,830
I haven't said anything,
but every date night,
270
00:09:54,830 --> 00:09:56,880
something like this
comes up.
271
00:09:56,880 --> 00:09:58,250
Last week, we missed
the burger pop-up
272
00:09:58,250 --> 00:10:00,210
because you had
to watch Devante.
273
00:10:00,210 --> 00:10:01,710
Dad had
Clipper tickets.
274
00:10:01,710 --> 00:10:03,380
Against Charlotte!
275
00:10:03,380 --> 00:10:05,330
He needed a night!
So do we!
276
00:10:05,330 --> 00:10:07,420
I blew off my friends
to hang out with you.
277
00:10:07,420 --> 00:10:09,380
I don't care about
this stupid Bubbasnug.
278
00:10:09,380 --> 00:10:11,960
Wow. That says it all.
279
00:10:11,960 --> 00:10:13,620
That says what?
280
00:10:13,620 --> 00:10:14,920
That you're like that.
281
00:10:14,920 --> 00:10:16,960
That I'm "like" what?
282
00:10:16,960 --> 00:10:20,960
♪♪
283
00:10:20,960 --> 00:10:23,250
Hi.
284
00:10:23,250 --> 00:10:24,960
Is Dad ever gonna
talk to me again?
285
00:10:24,960 --> 00:10:26,420
Of course he is.
286
00:10:28,000 --> 00:10:30,380
Your dad and I
are so excited for you.
287
00:10:30,380 --> 00:10:31,790
That's not true.
288
00:10:31,790 --> 00:10:33,710
He wouldn't look at me
the whole way home.
289
00:10:33,710 --> 00:10:36,620
Honey, look,
your dad is just hung up
290
00:10:36,620 --> 00:10:39,880
on the fact that he still
sees you as his little girl.
291
00:10:39,880 --> 00:10:41,460
But, sweetheart,
292
00:10:41,460 --> 00:10:45,290
what you did is completely
natural for a kid your age.
293
00:10:45,290 --> 00:10:47,540
Seriously.
294
00:10:47,540 --> 00:10:50,460
And I'm here so you can tell me
all about it, okay?
295
00:10:50,460 --> 00:10:52,460
I'm your
sounding board. Okay.
296
00:10:52,460 --> 00:10:55,040
So, what's his name?
297
00:10:55,040 --> 00:10:56,790
Jalen.
Jalen!
298
00:10:56,790 --> 00:10:58,330
What?
[ Giggles ]
299
00:10:58,330 --> 00:11:00,710
He sounds so cute.
Is he cute?
300
00:11:00,710 --> 00:11:02,460
Yeah.
[ Chuckles ] I knew it.
301
00:11:02,460 --> 00:11:05,080
I have never known
an ugly Jalen. What else?
302
00:11:05,080 --> 00:11:06,710
He's in eighth grade.
Okay.
303
00:11:06,710 --> 00:11:08,170
He's on the debate team.
That's how we met.
304
00:11:08,170 --> 00:11:09,620
So he's smart.
Mm-hmm.
305
00:11:09,620 --> 00:11:11,460
Nice. I love it.
What else?
306
00:11:11,460 --> 00:11:13,330
Well, he's the lead
in the spring musical.
307
00:11:13,330 --> 00:11:16,880
[ Gasps ] Show biz.
Okay, okay.
308
00:11:16,880 --> 00:11:20,000
So, how did
this whole thing unfold?
309
00:11:20,000 --> 00:11:22,620
Well, we met up
at the dance... Okay.
310
00:11:22,620 --> 00:11:24,540
Hey, Diane.
311
00:11:24,540 --> 00:11:25,460
Hi.
312
00:11:25,460 --> 00:11:26,540
You look great.
313
00:11:26,540 --> 00:11:28,620
Thanks.
314
00:11:28,620 --> 00:11:30,920
You, too.
Yeah, but you look better.
315
00:11:30,920 --> 00:11:32,120
[ Both chuckle ]
316
00:11:34,000 --> 00:11:35,420
...and...
317
00:11:35,420 --> 00:11:36,710
then we kissed.
318
00:11:36,710 --> 00:11:38,790
[ Crying ]
Oh, my God.
319
00:11:41,750 --> 00:11:45,250
Are you okay?
Yes, tell me more.
320
00:11:45,250 --> 00:11:49,380
So Bow was trying to get me
to see Diane in a new light,
321
00:11:49,380 --> 00:11:51,330
but I was struggling.
322
00:11:51,330 --> 00:11:54,380
It was my instinct
to protect my little girl,
323
00:11:54,380 --> 00:11:56,420
find out who this boy was,
324
00:11:56,420 --> 00:11:59,620
and how long
it had been going on.
325
00:11:59,620 --> 00:12:02,670
But maybe Bow was right.
326
00:12:02,670 --> 00:12:05,000
Nope. Bow was wrong.
327
00:12:05,000 --> 00:12:06,920
Who is the boy?!
328
00:12:06,920 --> 00:12:08,960
What is his name?!
329
00:12:08,960 --> 00:12:10,250
Uh-uh-uh,
I don't know!
330
00:12:10,250 --> 00:12:12,460
Uh-uh-uh, figure it out,
Glitter Bomber!
331
00:12:12,460 --> 00:12:16,670
You are staring at six months
hard no-screen time.
332
00:12:16,670 --> 00:12:19,080
I'm not rolling over
on my twin.
333
00:12:21,120 --> 00:12:23,080
So you're good with
not being able to upload
334
00:12:23,080 --> 00:12:26,040
your idiotic
challenge videos.
335
00:12:26,040 --> 00:12:27,790
Whoa, whoa, whoa,
th-that's my brand.
336
00:12:27,790 --> 00:12:30,750
Give...me...a...name!!
337
00:12:30,750 --> 00:12:32,380
Okay, okay, Jalen --
338
00:12:32,380 --> 00:12:33,460
Jalen Hunter!
339
00:12:33,460 --> 00:12:34,750
Good.
340
00:12:36,500 --> 00:12:37,790
Now, how long
has this been going on?
341
00:12:39,000 --> 00:12:40,750
Uh, I don't know,
342
00:12:40,750 --> 00:12:42,250
probably since
she and Ricky broke up.
343
00:12:42,250 --> 00:12:43,080
Ricky?
344
00:12:44,960 --> 00:12:46,580
There's another boy?!
345
00:12:46,580 --> 00:12:49,710
Oh, God.
I've said too much.
346
00:12:49,710 --> 00:12:51,880
Oh, she's gonna kill me and
make it look like an accident.
347
00:12:51,880 --> 00:12:54,170
Oh, you've got to tell her
I-I didn't break easy,
348
00:12:54,170 --> 00:12:56,460
pl--please --
Shut up!
349
00:12:56,460 --> 00:12:58,170
Eight months
no screen time now.
350
00:12:58,170 --> 00:13:00,290
We don't like snitches.
351
00:13:00,290 --> 00:13:01,500
What?
352
00:13:02,710 --> 00:13:04,290
[ Door opens ]
353
00:13:04,290 --> 00:13:05,710
Damn it, Jack.
[ Door slams ]
354
00:13:05,710 --> 00:13:08,500
Well, excuse me for
being a Black man in America
355
00:13:08,500 --> 00:13:10,790
trying to do right
by a kid who's not my own.
356
00:13:10,790 --> 00:13:13,210
Exactly!
He's not your own.
357
00:13:13,210 --> 00:13:14,830
I didn't sign up
to date a single father.
358
00:13:14,830 --> 00:13:16,540
Didn't sign up
for this?
359
00:13:16,540 --> 00:13:17,960
Wow. It -- It feels like
you've had that one
360
00:13:17,960 --> 00:13:19,540
loaded up
for a while.
361
00:13:21,830 --> 00:13:23,290
You know what?
362
00:13:23,290 --> 00:13:25,000
I don't think
this is gonna work out.
363
00:13:25,000 --> 00:13:33,620
♪♪
364
00:13:34,750 --> 00:13:36,330
This is so nice.
Mm-hmm.
365
00:13:36,330 --> 00:13:39,330
Just sitting here,
relating,
366
00:13:39,330 --> 00:13:41,000
being in
your safe space.
367
00:13:41,000 --> 00:13:42,500
Thanks, Mom.
Yeah.
368
00:13:42,500 --> 00:13:44,120
You know, all my friends
are jealous of me.
369
00:13:44,120 --> 00:13:46,960
Jealous of the bond
that we have.
370
00:13:46,960 --> 00:13:49,420
It's about honesty
371
00:13:49,420 --> 00:13:50,920
and keeping
that door open.
372
00:13:50,920 --> 00:13:52,750
Mm-hmm.
[ Drill whirring ]
373
00:13:52,750 --> 00:13:54,540
What is that?
374
00:13:54,540 --> 00:13:55,960
[ Thud ]
[ Gasps ]
375
00:13:55,960 --> 00:13:57,170
Dad?!
376
00:13:57,170 --> 00:13:58,460
Dre, what are you
doing?!
377
00:13:58,460 --> 00:14:01,330
I'm doing what I need to do
to protect my daughter.
378
00:14:01,330 --> 00:14:02,460
And that means
no more privacy,
379
00:14:02,460 --> 00:14:04,750
because it's clearly
shown to me
380
00:14:04,750 --> 00:14:06,000
that you've had
too much of it!
381
00:14:06,000 --> 00:14:08,420
All she did
was kiss a boy.
382
00:14:08,420 --> 00:14:10,460
Oh, really?
383
00:14:10,460 --> 00:14:12,670
Did she tell you
about Ricky?
384
00:14:14,210 --> 00:14:16,210
Who's Ricky?
Sweetheart?
385
00:14:17,170 --> 00:14:20,000
Sweetie? Who --
386
00:14:20,000 --> 00:14:21,080
Who's Ricky?!
387
00:14:23,830 --> 00:14:26,040
He was a guy
I used to hang out with.
388
00:14:27,000 --> 00:14:29,580
Okay,
wait a minute.
389
00:14:29,580 --> 00:14:32,580
Did you
or did you not
390
00:14:32,580 --> 00:14:35,790
have your first kiss
with Jalen?
391
00:14:36,790 --> 00:14:38,080
I mean...
392
00:14:38,080 --> 00:14:39,960
[ Drill whirring,
Dre groaning ]
393
00:14:39,960 --> 00:14:42,000
I can't believe this!
394
00:14:42,000 --> 00:14:44,170
You let me believe
395
00:14:44,170 --> 00:14:47,210
that Jalen
was your first kiss!
396
00:14:47,210 --> 00:14:49,250
What else
are you not telling me?
397
00:14:49,250 --> 00:14:50,960
Mom, it's not
like that.
398
00:14:50,960 --> 00:14:53,500
So you didn't have a boyfriend
that you kept hidden from us?
399
00:14:53,500 --> 00:14:55,000
I mean...
400
00:14:55,000 --> 00:14:56,420
Oh, my God.
401
00:14:56,420 --> 00:14:58,880
I thought
we were connecting!
402
00:14:58,880 --> 00:15:00,790
I thought I was
your safe space!
403
00:15:00,790 --> 00:15:02,880
Hold my gun, Bow.
Hold my gun.
404
00:15:02,880 --> 00:15:04,830
[ Drill whirs ]
Okay, Diane. This is it!
405
00:15:04,830 --> 00:15:06,750
No more boys!
406
00:15:06,750 --> 00:15:08,790
No more privacy!
407
00:15:08,790 --> 00:15:10,790
You are living your life
out in the open.
408
00:15:10,790 --> 00:15:13,620
You are living
in piles now, young lady!
409
00:15:13,620 --> 00:15:15,330
Mom, are you really
going to let him do this?!
410
00:15:15,330 --> 00:15:17,830
Yes, I am!
And I am gonna get involved.
411
00:15:17,830 --> 00:15:19,120
No more safe spaces
for you.
412
00:15:19,120 --> 00:15:20,210
You give me
your phone.
413
00:15:20,210 --> 00:15:21,080
It's right there.
414
00:15:23,250 --> 00:15:24,920
Give me your burner.
415
00:15:24,920 --> 00:15:26,750
What's a burner?
416
00:15:26,750 --> 00:15:27,710
Don't insult me.
417
00:15:32,460 --> 00:15:33,750
Come on!
418
00:15:36,790 --> 00:15:39,170
[ Drill whirring,
phone cracks ]
419
00:15:42,380 --> 00:15:43,710
[ Sighs ]
420
00:15:43,710 --> 00:15:45,330
♪♪
421
00:15:45,330 --> 00:15:46,880
[ Belt jingles ]
422
00:15:46,880 --> 00:15:49,080
I can't believe
it's come to this. What?
423
00:15:49,080 --> 00:15:51,420
I don't want to go through
Diane's phone.
424
00:15:51,420 --> 00:15:53,380
W-Why did we never have
this problem with Zoey?
425
00:15:53,380 --> 00:15:55,790
That's because Zoey
never kissed a boy.
426
00:15:55,790 --> 00:15:58,000
You know Zoey's done
a lot more than kiss a boy.
427
00:15:58,000 --> 00:15:59,540
Mnh-mnh.
We had a huge fight about it
428
00:15:59,540 --> 00:16:00,880
last year, Dre.
You know what?
429
00:16:00,880 --> 00:16:03,620
I blocked that
entire period from my memory.
430
00:16:03,620 --> 00:16:04,710
[ Quietly ]
Of course you did.
431
00:16:04,710 --> 00:16:06,500
Lost a lot of things.
432
00:16:06,500 --> 00:16:08,210
Like, I can't remember
who won March Madness
433
00:16:08,210 --> 00:16:10,500
or Devante's first steps,
but you know what?
434
00:16:10,500 --> 00:16:12,120
[ Glass thuds ]
[ Inhales sharply ]
435
00:16:12,120 --> 00:16:13,380
It was worth it.
436
00:16:13,380 --> 00:16:16,000
Maybe it's because
Zoey always acted
437
00:16:16,000 --> 00:16:18,170
like she had everything
under control, you know?
438
00:16:18,170 --> 00:16:20,420
She -- Like,
she never needed my help,
439
00:16:20,420 --> 00:16:23,670
but Diane always comes to me
with this kind of stuff.
440
00:16:23,670 --> 00:16:25,250
Okay, baby, if she's not
gonna talk to you,
441
00:16:25,250 --> 00:16:26,580
maybe we should
just lock her down.
442
00:16:26,580 --> 00:16:28,790
What?
She is just a little girl.
443
00:16:28,790 --> 00:16:30,620
Dre...
Is she?
444
00:16:30,620 --> 00:16:32,210
She's 13.
445
00:16:32,210 --> 00:16:35,380
When I was 13,
I was managing an Arby's.
446
00:16:35,380 --> 00:16:38,380
Yeah. We baby our kids
longer than we used to.
447
00:16:38,380 --> 00:16:40,750
The twins
are our babies.
448
00:16:40,750 --> 00:16:43,960
They were your babies.
That's your problem.
449
00:16:43,960 --> 00:16:45,790
You keep seeing them
for who they were,
450
00:16:45,790 --> 00:16:47,380
not for who they are.
451
00:16:47,380 --> 00:16:50,170
Now, they're in
separate rooms.
452
00:16:50,170 --> 00:16:51,920
Diane's had her period,
453
00:16:51,920 --> 00:16:54,000
and Jack has
a training mustache.
454
00:16:54,000 --> 00:16:55,880
You know what?
You're right.
455
00:16:55,880 --> 00:16:57,250
I know the kids
are getting older,
456
00:16:57,250 --> 00:16:59,580
and I'm okay with that.
I just --
457
00:16:59,580 --> 00:17:01,540
[ Sighs ]
I just wish Diane
458
00:17:01,540 --> 00:17:04,250
wouldn't keep these kinds
of things from me.
459
00:17:04,250 --> 00:17:06,540
Oh, so when you were
her age,
460
00:17:06,540 --> 00:17:09,080
you told your mom about
all the boys you were with?
461
00:17:09,080 --> 00:17:11,250
Oh, no.
And you're still close with her...
462
00:17:11,250 --> 00:17:13,250
Yeah.
...even though she's terrible.
463
00:17:13,250 --> 00:17:15,380
Oh, my God.
464
00:17:15,380 --> 00:17:17,750
Look, I don't know
if I can keep her safe
465
00:17:17,750 --> 00:17:19,380
if she doesn't
tell us stuff.
466
00:17:19,380 --> 00:17:21,620
If y'all keep
acting all crazy,
467
00:17:21,620 --> 00:17:24,000
she's gonna
tell you less.
468
00:17:24,000 --> 00:17:26,580
Now, like it or not,
she's gonna have a door,
469
00:17:26,580 --> 00:17:28,500
and it's up to y'all
470
00:17:28,500 --> 00:17:31,000
whether it's the door
to her room
471
00:17:31,000 --> 00:17:32,920
or the door
to her heart.
472
00:17:32,920 --> 00:17:35,000
Okay?
Mm.
473
00:17:40,880 --> 00:17:42,120
What are you doing?
474
00:17:42,120 --> 00:17:43,540
Why are you reading?
Jack: [ Sighs ]
475
00:17:43,540 --> 00:17:45,120
Dad banned me
from screens,
476
00:17:45,120 --> 00:17:47,580
so I got into
Grandma's books. Mm.
477
00:17:47,580 --> 00:17:49,830
Did you know that women
have rich inner lives?
478
00:17:49,830 --> 00:17:51,830
And a married man's
never gonna leave his wife?
479
00:17:51,830 --> 00:17:53,250
You know, Jack?
480
00:17:53,250 --> 00:17:55,040
I, too, have been
waiting to exhale.
481
00:17:57,460 --> 00:17:58,830
[ Exhales sharply ]
482
00:17:58,830 --> 00:18:00,620
Niecy dumped me.
Hang on.
483
00:18:00,620 --> 00:18:03,580
Let me get into
real-talk position.
484
00:18:03,580 --> 00:18:07,290
[ Sighs ]
485
00:18:07,290 --> 00:18:08,120
You know,
I don't know what went --
486
00:18:12,250 --> 00:18:13,710
I don't know
what went wr--
487
00:18:13,710 --> 00:18:14,500
[ Grunts ]
488
00:18:16,710 --> 00:18:17,960
Proceed.
489
00:18:19,880 --> 00:18:22,250
I don't know
what went wrong, you know?
490
00:18:22,250 --> 00:18:24,380
I took her to the park
in the middle of the night,
491
00:18:24,380 --> 00:18:26,170
we hopped in the sand,
and I made her look
492
00:18:26,170 --> 00:18:28,620
for Devante's Bubbasnug
for two and a half hours.
493
00:18:28,620 --> 00:18:30,540
Mm.
494
00:18:30,540 --> 00:18:33,040
Huh, you know, now that
I put it all together,
495
00:18:33,040 --> 00:18:34,460
I was being
a little crazy.
496
00:18:35,830 --> 00:18:36,880
I'm gonna call her
and patch it up.
497
00:18:36,880 --> 00:18:38,290
No, no, no, no.
498
00:18:38,290 --> 00:18:40,290
You weren't being crazy.
499
00:18:40,290 --> 00:18:42,540
You were
just being Junior.
500
00:18:42,540 --> 00:18:45,210
Are you going to be
somebody else just for her?
501
00:18:46,710 --> 00:18:48,620
Look...
502
00:18:48,620 --> 00:18:50,880
when Gloria finally found
a man that accepted her
503
00:18:50,880 --> 00:18:54,420
for who she was,
she found happiness.
504
00:18:54,420 --> 00:18:56,080
That's what
I want for you.
505
00:18:56,080 --> 00:18:58,380
I want that for me.
Then what you need to do
506
00:18:58,380 --> 00:18:59,620
is put that phone down
507
00:18:59,620 --> 00:19:01,000
and get into these books,
playboy.
508
00:19:06,080 --> 00:19:07,960
Knock, knock.
509
00:19:07,960 --> 00:19:09,290
That's what
it would sound like
510
00:19:09,290 --> 00:19:11,080
if I didn't
take your door off.
511
00:19:11,080 --> 00:19:13,380
Well, I'm not hiding
anything in this pile.
512
00:19:13,380 --> 00:19:15,170
I'm just trying to find
a shirt to sleep in.
513
00:19:17,460 --> 00:19:20,960
Baby girl, I'm sorry
I went a little nuts.
514
00:19:20,960 --> 00:19:22,540
Me, too.
515
00:19:22,540 --> 00:19:25,000
Just, we thought
we had more time.
516
00:19:25,000 --> 00:19:27,920
But you're --
you're a young woman now,
517
00:19:27,920 --> 00:19:29,830
and there's gonna be things
in your life
518
00:19:29,830 --> 00:19:31,790
that I'm not
a part of.
519
00:19:31,790 --> 00:19:33,210
Like kissing.
520
00:19:33,210 --> 00:19:34,330
Well...
521
00:19:34,330 --> 00:19:36,330
it wasn't kissing, babe.
Please focus.
522
00:19:36,330 --> 00:19:38,580
I can't get it
out of my mind. That's not what
523
00:19:38,580 --> 00:19:40,040
Okay.
Okay. Sweetheart.
524
00:19:43,670 --> 00:19:45,540
We just need
open communication,
525
00:19:45,540 --> 00:19:47,380
and we can
accept that
526
00:19:47,380 --> 00:19:49,040
you're not gonna
tell us everything.
527
00:19:50,380 --> 00:19:51,830
But I really
want you to know
528
00:19:51,830 --> 00:19:54,210
that you can
tell us anything.
529
00:19:54,210 --> 00:19:57,420
Okay?
Okay.
530
00:19:57,420 --> 00:20:00,380
I hear you,
and I'll do better. Okay.
531
00:20:00,380 --> 00:20:03,210
And I promise
I will talk to...Mom.
532
00:20:03,210 --> 00:20:05,330
Yeah.
Oh, yeah. Definitely. [ Exhales sharply ]
533
00:20:05,330 --> 00:20:07,710
That's definitely
the better way to go. Works for me.
534
00:20:07,710 --> 00:20:09,710
Mm-hmm.
535
00:20:09,710 --> 00:20:12,000
You know, I think
I was actually
536
00:20:12,000 --> 00:20:15,000
mad at you
for growing up.
537
00:20:15,000 --> 00:20:18,460
That's not your fault.
I can't stop time, baby girl.
538
00:20:18,460 --> 00:20:20,580
I'm sorry.
I love you.
539
00:20:20,580 --> 00:20:21,710
Okay?
540
00:20:21,710 --> 00:20:23,210
Okay.
Mm.
541
00:20:25,170 --> 00:20:26,460
And here's
your phone.
542
00:20:26,460 --> 00:20:28,750
Jalen texted you
four times...
543
00:20:28,750 --> 00:20:31,460
Oh!
...to see if you're okay.
544
00:20:31,460 --> 00:20:33,420
He might be
a keeper.
545
00:20:33,420 --> 00:20:35,920
Okay. And since you're
old enough to kiss a boy,
546
00:20:35,920 --> 00:20:38,710
you are old enough
547
00:20:38,710 --> 00:20:40,210
to put your door
back on yourself.
548
00:20:40,210 --> 00:20:41,380
I've done it before.
It's fine.
549
00:20:41,380 --> 00:20:43,040
Yeah, I'll get
the drill for you.
550
00:20:43,040 --> 00:20:44,500
You know how to put
a door on?
551
00:20:44,500 --> 00:20:45,790
Mm-hmm.
Where'd you learn that?
552
00:20:45,790 --> 00:20:47,500
♪♪
553
00:20:50,750 --> 00:20:54,040
[ Luke Skyywalker's
"I Wanna Rock" playing ]
554
00:20:54,040 --> 00:20:58,460
[ Indistinct shouting ]
555
00:20:58,460 --> 00:21:00,000
I was wrong, Dre!
556
00:21:00,000 --> 00:21:01,250
You should have danced!
557
00:21:01,250 --> 00:21:04,880
You should always dance!
558
00:21:04,880 --> 00:21:08,500
[ Crowd chanting "Dad!" ]
559
00:21:08,500 --> 00:21:11,960
♪♪
560
00:21:11,960 --> 00:21:13,830
Aah!
561
00:21:16,210 --> 00:21:18,040
What you have
to ask yourself...
562
00:21:18,040 --> 00:21:19,120
[ Car key clicks ]
563
00:21:19,120 --> 00:21:21,040
...is this your dream
564
00:21:21,040 --> 00:21:22,040
or mine?
565
00:21:22,090 --> 00:21:26,640
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