Original subtitles

ASTERIX and the BIG FIGHT

The Gauls attack!

Obelix, we're coming!

You'll take them, Obelix! I'll take these!

We're attacked, as you see!

- Look, support us! - Get out of my way!

Get out of the way Phalop, away from where they're look for him!

Ho ho ho ho! - Ceasar, speak up!

You get those threats, huh? Ha ha ha ha!

[Narrator:] The year is 50 B.C., and all the world belongs to Rome.

Well, all but these two gallant Gaulish warriors,

and the valliant people of this little Gaulish village.

Hey Asterix, why did they say we're Gaulish?

Gaul is Roman for French traveller.

Oh! Well, why do we call them the Romans?

Because those guys are Roman all over place.

Asterix, Obelix, come! I'll show my Vitamix's brochure.

Oh sure, Vitamix.

Ah, you, my little Dogmatix! Ha ha ha.

Hello! Oop, you! Come on!

Yo! Just back from the hunt day!

Just bringing home the bacon.

The boars don't stand a chance, Vitamix, with him on the job!

By the way, we were ambushed by a platoon of Romans.

Get to love those Roman!

Here it is, look here!

You are no silly Romans!

Oh, Vitamix, would you make us some more of vitamin potion?

Wait way! Must keep strong for the Roman!

Hail Bossanova! Your platoon has returned to report to you, sir.

Mamma mia!

What's that going on here?

Bossanova, Sir!

- We were ambushed by two Gauls. - But they also had a very vicious dog.

And two wild boars.

Hey... that makes five up together, so at least surprising us.

Huh! Huh-huh!

These Gauls are making us the laughing stock of all of Rome.

It's their secret vitamin potion that is making them so strong.

There must be a way to get rid of the potion!

Uh--

Huh?

Uh, perhaps we could just get rid of their wizard!

That's it! We get rid of the wizard and no more vitamin potion!

Ha ha ha....

Capture the wizard! Dead or alive.

Ha ha ha!

Don't just stand here!

Yes. Don't just stand there.

We see the most merit.

[Narrator:] Meanwhile, deep in the mysterious woods outside the enemy Roman camp,

and far from the safety of his own village wall,

Vitamix, the Gaulish wizard, wander innocently among the crimsons flowers.

collecting the special herbs and spices for his secret vitamin.

The potion, which Vitamix alone can brew,

is the key the Gauls defend against Romans.

One sip of the vitamin potion in battle...

and the Gauls are filled with super human strength.

Unfortunately, Vitamix will never brew another batch.

He's about to have a very rocky day.

Oh, oh-oh-oh-oh oh!

Ah! How are you little flower? Oh!

It's fantastic!

Hee-hee-hee! ♪ While little,

♪ I inspire a little notion in my head...

♪ to my secret postion. Oh, ha ha ha! ♪ We make the Romans run away.

♪ Everyday, after we opposite at your will.

Hey, those Roman foot, stupid ugly bunch!

Whose is? So?

- We got you! - Uh, ah-hah!

Got him!

- They got Vitamix! - Who are you, pro?

Hang on Vitamix!

Obelix, NO!

Look, Obelix, NO!

[Narrator:] And so it was that Oblix, who was always fond of big rock,

came to be historic first rocket launcher!

You see, when he was little, Obelix fell into a batch of the Wizard's vitamin potion,

and hasn't known his own strength since.

Sometimes that's good. Sometimes it's not!

- Oh great, Obelix, just great! - What's wrong? I scared off the Romans, didn't I?

Absolutely! But how do we get supposed the Wizard feel?

Sleepy?

[Narrator:] Sleepy indeed! Vitamix the Wizard never slept so long in all his wizard day life.

But Asterix, Oblix and the entire Gaulish village kept a constant watch over their beloved friend.

For without their faithful wizard, there could be no vitamin potion,

nor hope against Rome.

Perhaps I could wake him with my, uh, my music?

Uh-uh!

I swear, Chief! It was just a tiny little rocket, just nicked him too.

- Hey, everybody, he's waking up! - See?

- How are you feeling, Vitamix ? - Oh, just fine!

Oh! Who are you, monsieur?

Asterix, you know me! Asterix!

Please to meet me, huh!

Asterix? What a funny name!

I'm so glad to see you well again, Vitamix.

Asterix, you know such a bufflehead in the woods!

No, he is a so fat little guy! Eat too much!

Fat guy!

Fat bad guy!

Vitamix, snap out of it, it's your chief you must remember me.

He's lost his memory.

Then let me sing for him! He's bound to remember my talent!

♪ Like you all, press to somber

♫ You see I buy a holder

♪ Now he sworn he can't remember ♫ You say so

♪ He just sees stars

♫ What do! What do! I 'll do what?

♫ What do! What do! I 'll do what?

♪ Song called "Crazy"

♫ He stays in this too hard

♫ Got future in this life

♫ Keep to it on the sky

♪ He is ours

♫ Let the old be cured

♪ The hombre head was he

♫ Was he?

♪ He is the....Ah-ha,....

♫ That way remembered

♪ For that uh - uh - uh - uh..... ♪

That's it! I remember everything now. I was a lobster, a big lobster.

- Obelix, we had better take him home. - I was a lobster, lobster! I.....

The wizard gone mad!

But who release the potion?

We got to do something before the Roman find out!

[Narrator:] True enough, with the town's favorite,

and unfortunately, only with a dam of blinks,

the people of Gaul had plenty of things to worry about that day.

The Roman intelligence was one of them.

- The wizard? Where is he? - Bossanova, we don't know!

What?

You want another ambush, just a gaining lead time. They had superior numbers!

All right, how many?

Uh, two. But they also had a rocket and a launcher!

- Uh! - A rocket?

It sounds bigger to me!

Hah! It's crazy!

Rocket is over the advantage by the jaw of machine, not to fire a shoot! Hah!

Who are you?

Shall we go back inside, Sir?

No! Just stay up here so someone prevent the unlit!

The sky is falling!

- The sky is falling! - The sky is falling!

The sky is falling!

Oh-o!

[Narrator:] We might mention at this point that the Gauls in the village...

were not only super super strong, but also super superstitious.

Chicken little was not the first French men to fear the sky may fall on his head.

These Gauls worried about this day,

and with Vitamix, the Wizard in off action having already cause a piece on their heads,

the Gauls were worry any less!

The sky is falling on our heads!

Is he any better?

- Uh-uh, uh-uh! - No, not one bit.

Let him get some rest, lets go see the Chief.

[Narrator:] And so, with the sky falling all around them,

and they are faithful Wizard Vitamix hopelessly on the hint within their heads,

the weary Gaulish villagers took shelter from the storm...

in the home of their Chief. While outside, unknown to all,

an even greater danger loom.

Do you know what's going to happen?

- What can we do? - I don't know!

If Vitamix had not gone deaf I know he could save us.

- Help! - Please help!

Friends, the sky is not falling, it's only a storm.

I think we sing a little song, and gives us some courage.

Hurry! Hurry up! The sky is falling on our head!

Geriatrix, settle down! It's merely strong lightening hit. No harm!

Excuse me, brave Chief, invite the stranger in. Wh....

Huh, Chief! Sure they spoke like bananas, Chief!

Uh!

Uh!

Huh!

Here I'm, who are you?

I am a lost and weary traveller.

I was caught in this storm.

I beg you give me shelter from this weather.

I don't care it's your price. I mean no harm to you.

Yeah, of course, my hut is your hut, anything I can do, uh,

to make you more comfortable!

I'll bet he must be really hungry.

Uh-huh! I think I have a little goats milk and a some wild boar.

Gee, I don't mind if I do.

- Well, what's your name traveller? - My name is Prolix.

I knew I would be caught in this storm and I knew you would welcome me..

into your hut, and I knew I could count on your hospitality.

Though, I must say that your lot...

was a very unusual way of sharing food with a poor hungry guest.

But still, I knew this is how it would be!

- But, but, but... how could you know all that? - Because I see the future.

- The future? - Give me a break!

Someone here does not believe me, huh?

I fear that he will make things worse for you.

Hey, Frank Sinatra, are you the one who doesn't believe in him?

- Oh, no. It wasn't me. - Mr. Prolix, you must...

excuse my men, they love to fight!

I know.

Oh, Mr. fortune teller, please tell us. Is the sky going to fall on our heads?

If I look at the insides of an animal, I could tell you for sure.

Perhaps you could read the inside of this roasted boar.

You've eaten until nothing left to read!

Ah, but the insides of this dog could tell the future.

I'm a very good dog reader.

If you touch my little Dogmatix, you'll be taking an early retirement.

Be careful Mr. Fortune-teller! The predictions of my friend Obelix are usually correct.

Too bad, I guess you'll never know if the sky is going to fall on your heads.

Oh!

- Wait, will a fish do? - A fish?

Well, I suppose I could read the future in a fish.

Fish sysqua and sushi raw, tell the future through my draw!

Now, despite the unbelief I sense among you,

I see, the sky will not fall upon your heads.

And you'll see it!

And after the storm will follow sunny days!

- Oh, thank you! What a relief! - Oh! Oh!

Also I see there is going to be a fight!

Oh!

Boy! If Vitamix see this, as a matter of fact, does he afford this ridiculous?

It's safer to believe the fortune teller.

- Oh! - But Asterix, you heard the fish spoke!

There is only one thing you can tell by looking at this fish.

- You gonna tell us? - Yeah, whoever eats it is going up to sick.

- And why, may I ask you that? - Huh, because your fish are not very fresh!

- What do you mean they're not fresh? - They stink!

Well! Well, luckily the future is better than it smells.

Hey, fish's getting cover, we're done reading your little fish!

This is Wizard talks about the buck sale! Ha ha ha!...

Here, read this!

Why you?

- Sorry my friend, take it! - Yeah, but not bad, you!

Hey, friends and neighbors!

After the storm, sunny day!

Oh!

But now, I must leave you! Other villages will be needing my service.

Oh, Mr. Prolix, don't go!

Well,... I... I work the case that... I--

Wow, good riddance!

This is one thing I hate about a fishy fortune teller.

But Asterix, he predicted the sun after the storm.

He's a vice, he could predict a big fight as well?!

It is the Chief told him we fight all the time,

and when we talk about your fish, we fight more.

What did the teller lie?

On contrast, it's a real fruit, my fatty friend!

Oh!

Oh!

Oh!

Oh-o-o!

Chief, hold on to your temper, we've still got to find a cure for our Wizard!

Oh my gosh, I completely forgot about him in the excitement.

Asterix what are we going to do to cure him?

I don't know, If he was well he could cure himself with the potion.

Oh, hey! Vitamix, can't you remember the formulas of your magic potions?

I am the potion. Ha ha ha!

What the heck is a potion, little Gaul?

Please, Vitamix, you have to understand!

We must have the vitamin potion to defend against the Romans.

Oh, Yes, yes, yes! But who is this Vitamix you keep talking about?

Don't worry about who that is, please! Just try make the vitamin potion!

Yes, yes, of course, of course! But what do I do?

Just put the proper ingredients into the pot.

Asterix, tell him not to laugh at me!

A wizard or no wizard, I'll put this pot right on his head!

Stop Obelix! Look, remember you tried that already, but the rocket!

So Obelix, just stay calm, and let him laugh!

One!

Don't--

- Yoo-bee! - He seems still remembering the formula.

Uh-huh!

- Ha-ha! Can I put this in, huh? - But, don't you see--

What was that? What was that?

- Hey, I am out of here. - I go, too.

Who?

Huh? What?

- What the hell do you place? - Hey, let's get out of here, huh?

- Please! Lift this up for me. - Come on, let's go! Come on!

[Narrator:] Well now, while Asterix, Obelix, and Chief Bombastic encourage...

the Wizard in his explosive search for the desperately needed vitamin formula,

deep in the woods, a weary traveler till stucks of his own situation....

The mysterious Prolix was in the village of the jam.

He seemed to have more of his leave that he did in the bag.

And he has predicted such fine business from his gullible Gauls.

But he hasn't predicted Asterix,

who was not gullible, and who has ruined all his greedy primes.

Now, instead of delicious Gaulish goodies,

he has only, still, bread and a long walk to the next village.

Mr. Fortune Teller! Mr. Fortune Teller!

[Narrator:] But perhaps his luck was about to change.

Prolix!

Oh, Oh! Wait for me, Prolix!

Ah!

You hear those explosions?

It is bad luck not to respect the fortune teller.

No, don't go! I respect you!

What do you see in the future for me?

Please!

There are two in your village who do not respect me.

The little man with a large yellow mustache...

and the that fat bully who had not let me read his little dog.

Ah! Oh!

They are barbarians, don't let them bother you!

If you had them thrown out then I could stay. What do you say, huh?

Oh, oh-la-la! But they protect our village, we need them.

Ouch, my back!

Then again, with a little help, I suppose I could settle in this clearing.

Oh yes, and I will make sure Asterix and Obelix never come out here.

- And I can bring you everything you need to eat and drink. - No, no, no,....

No, we fortune tellers go lonely life of quiet meditation.

About a job, bring me a few things to read,

wild boar, chicken, turkey, French fries, and beer.

- Even with beer you can read the future? - Well, it's not the first draft.

I will bring you everything you ask,

so you tell me what the future hold for me?

Oh-oh-ooh!

I read in the flight of this little birdy,

that you will not need to spend the rest of your life in the rattle of this village.

But my husband is chief!

Well, he will be called to a glory important destiny.

Oh, mine! Perhaps my big brother...

will make us partners with him in Lutetia.

- Absolutely! - All right! Hee-hee-hee!

All right, we're just going to say that.

Now, leave me, while I meditate.

- Why doesn't it go boom? - Perhaps it's going to work.

I-- I am the Easter bunny. We better taste it, make sure there is no danger.

I should taste it! It's my fault the wizard forgot how to make it.

Obelix, as the village chief, its my responsibility.

No, it's too dangerous!

Then again, we could offer it to the Roman for a taster.

- Where are you going? - Uh, looking for a Roman.

And maybe a few wild boars for a light snack in the woods.

The woods? But Obelix, if you're hungry, don't go in there!

I'll invite you to my house for a great big lunch.

- Thank you madam, there isn't time. - I'm sure, I'm sure, I'm sure!

But there's always time for roast boar bogging down,

- isn't there, Obelix ? - Uh, uh, I think so, Mame.

But Obelix!

Asterix, you refuse an invitation from the Chief's wife?

- No, Mame, I-- - Well, then shut up and lets move!

You don't want to go look over, anyway! There is nothing to see out there.

But the forest is the trees.

Every tree, you don't have time to do....

♪ Bravo is figuro! Hmm, hmm, hmm!

♪ Bravo is figuro into the bath...

♪ That go figuro - figuro - figuro.....

- What do you want? - The platoon has returned.

Hum! Get me out of here!

Ave Bossanova, the Gauls, they're making a lot of noise.

And they are taking a pot shot at us, Sir!

Pot shot? They are taking pot shot at my legionaries?

That's the cooking pot, Sir!

Ah! Nobody fights with the cooking pots. The Gauls must be making a plan!

Here Bossanova, I could see here!

- May be the Gaul just wants even see the peace! - See! See! See!

OK! Take this fool over there!

He just volunteered to spy on the Gauls.

Open this up, please, anything with this! Open it, please!

Ouch!

- Come out of there now! - No!

I then order....

I then order you to be cooked alive into that pot.

- You wouldn't do that! - I guess I can!

Are you already move this? I am a Roman!

Very good! We take a noodle Romana!

Why do you need noodles from me?

♪ Bravo, figuro, figuro, Romana noodles, I like it!

By the chance, Noodle! Noodle, how are you coming out?

Uh, I think we'd better stir while he sticks in the bottom.

No way! No way! I am coming out!

Ha-ha-ha.... Acting very wise, Sancas Lutus!

- I knew you see my pot. - No!

Piggywiggy, we have guests for lunch.

Piggywiggy? You haven't called me that since the beginning of our marriage!

I know! I misjudged you, Piggywiggy.

Piggywiggy? Ho ho ho..!

Offer your friends a drink while I cook lunch, Piggywiggy.

What is it with you two?

I am sorry, Piggywiggy. I mean... I mean Chief.

Would you knock it off?

Why you invited these two dummies, I don't know?

Because they are the two best boys in the village, Piggywiggy!

And the Wizard is sick, so the Romans could attack us, Piggywiggy.

But the Romans are too afraid bothers us here!

Yes, but without the vitamin potion, we can't be too careful.

Asterix and Obelix should stay in the village and not go in the forest!

- No! - Piggywiggy?

You think it's funny, do you? Then you can stay in the village...

and guard the wizard for the rest of your life!

Perfect, Piggywiggy!

♪ In bagging will we go go! ♪ In bagging will we go go!

♪ Go on the tricky the baggy gird, with bagging here we go! Huh?

What a sticky! No, if I don't see, I'd better not in bag anymore! Huh?

See you!

Ouch!

I hardly get in bag, I think it to loose.

But it to do take a loose!

I leg in the bag go in the fort.

I remember, say, there wouldn't be days like this!

Wood chisel saves you into this bag, oh!

I'll be it, Java, huh?

Oh, what is this?

Oh, no! Shoo, shoo!

I'll be ready! Go away! Shoo!

You're going to blow my cover of wood away?

I'm not going to need you. Why don't you leave?

You go away! Thank you very much.

What? Don't come back!

Go away! Shoo! Shoo!

Leave me!

Huh? All right!

Oh Prolix, I brought you a little something to read my future with.

Oh, It's stuffed, there is nothing left for you to read inside!

- Give it to me! I'll read stuffing inside. - So!...

Suffering, you have a very bad past! Oh, your future looks grand!

Jewelry pattern of the finest house in town!

Oh! Oh! Remember I alone can not read or know your fate.

- Vernami? - Oh, oh!

What are you doing here Vernami?

Well, I-- I was just picking mushrooms.

Oh, but you're little basket is bare like a bone!

You want some help?

Well, uh... I'll try the stick! Can you keep a secret?

Uh-huh.

The Fortune Teller left, thing is he can't go far.

He's in the woods and working.

But you mustn't tell anyone!

And he predicts Geriatrix is going to be very rich,

and he is going to give me lots of jewels.

- Oh, mine, mine! - Oh, mine!

Honey, I have a secret to tell you.

But you mustn't tell anyone!

- Prolix the fortune teller is staying in the woods. - I know!

I'm bringing him some heavy reading.

Far up, to give any detail, I think I need to read a little gold.

Uh-hmm?

Uh-hmm!

Why does everyone keep taking all of these goodies eager to the woods?

Ah! I'm going to find the Gauls, and biddy-biddy to hero in all of Rome.

Oh, no! Sneaky dog! Go home, nice dog! Go away!

Go away nice dog, please!

Good!

Oh-oh! Ah-A-a!

- Hey! - Huh?

Oh-ho-ho, no!

What do you know, huh Asterix?

These crazy Romans are branching out all over the place, huh?

Grace dog!

Oh! Please no! Have a society! Have a society!

Please don't cook me again!

I have no need to be a spy. They make me do it!

Don't worry, little Roman! We just want you to taste the soup.

Yeah, the soup? That's all?

I think it needs a little work.

Ah, don't worry there Mr. Roman, were still working on the recipe.

OK, open wide!

Oh! Oh Ho-ho-ho!

Huh? Huh? Huh?

Cease him!

Asterix!

No-oh-o!

A-Ha ha ha! Yeah, you are right! Right out!

Holy cow! Holy cow!

Go get the inside! He's going to kill!

Oh, No! He's just a bit what he got.

Ah-ha! Kee-kee-kee-kee! A-ha-ha!

Come on, here!

Vitamix, what is that biggy to do to?

I thought the Romans say he would stop inflation, huh Mr. Promise?

I got him! I got him! I got him!

Ah ha, kee-kee, kee-kee-ku! Ha, ha, ha!

Ah-a-a-a-ah!

- Obelix! - I get you, Asterix! Don't panic!

Don't panic! Don't panic! I get you! Ooh! Ooh! Ooh!

I get you! Come toward me!

Here, I try! Ha ha ha!

Oh, yeah!

Uh! Uh! Uh! Uh-Hmm!

Where does he go?

A-a-Ah!

Oh!

Packy, packy, packy!

Oh, help!

Hee-hee-hee! Bye bye! Bye bye!

Hee-hee-hee! A-ah, a-ka, mucho!

Well come back! How do you feel, little Roman?

Just fine!

A little light headed!

Very light headed!

Really light headed! Uh-huh!

♪ Whoa! Sound the voice that catches me!

- Seidin! - Uh-huh?

- Seidin! - Huh?

Don't even ask, please just give me a rope!

Er!

Ah, Bossanova, Novoci Status!

Where is he and what is with this rope?

Have a look for yourself, oh Bossanova!

Ah! What do you get on the air for? Get down from there, Noodle!

But Bossanova, there's no way! I'm as light as a flag in the wind.

Lower this flag!

Ta-ran-ta-ta!...

The wwizard is experimenting with a new potion, and he won't stop laughing.

That very bad a news!

You're going to be free!

Huh, what are they up to?

Who tell you what?

Take a platoon, find out what they are doing in their village!

Uh! What we need is another Roman.

Uh-huh!

Uh!

Hey Geriatrix, where are you going?

Ha ha! Asterix,

I'm just going for working in the forest to get some forest for my bank.

Uh-huh?

He's odd!

Something very strange is happening around here.

What happening is ... is that they're all going into the forest...

then come back happy, while we're stuck here doing nothing!

Hey, Chief!

What is going on in that forest?

Obelix, you guard the wizard, I'll be back as soon as I can.

Anyone here?

Where is he?

Where is who?

You chased him out, Bombastix told you not to come into the forest!

And he wants me. The Fortune Teller wants me!

- Ah! The great disaster will befall us! - Could you tell us, Vernami!

- Wait! - The fortune teller's gone! The great disaster will befall us!

Asterix has chased the Fortune Teller away!

Ave General, Bossanova!

Bonjour Arno, what you got?

I was leading the platoon to the Gaulish village you requested, Sir.

And we discovered this intruder in the forest,

and his story is very interesting, Bossanova. So I brought him to you, Sir!

A prisoner from Gaul? What fun are for you?

Excuse me, Signor Gaul! You are one of these super strong Gauls, the enemy?

Me? Oh, no! I am a peaceful man, I am against no one at all.

That's nice!

- Voila, my name is Prolix. - Uh!

I travel about in search of a patron.

- Uh! - Yet I knew that here I would find a...

soldiers who was strong, uh, and generous,

- Uh! - even if some of his less sensible troupes...

- didn't show me the respect they should. - Huh?

But, then... I knew all this before!

Well done, so tell me how you are knowing all that?

Well, I am... a fortune teller.

A fortune teller? Uh!

So you are a fortune teller from Gaul?

- Yes, sir! - Uh-huh.

For example, I foresee that you will be promoted, ha ha!

- And achieve great plans! - Uh!

So, am I going to conquer the unbeatable Gauls?

- You guess well! - Magnifico! Ha ha ha!

Unfortunately for you, we are under orders to arrest all Gaulish fortune tellers.

- Under Arrest! - What?

What? Well I, in that case, no more joking. Ha ha ha ha!

I mean I am not a fortune teller! That was just a little joke!

Actually, I am a bit of a rascal.

I try to abash the preach of gullible before.

I'm afraid! I make my living without work!

Oh, but ... but something you want, you tell me what?

But you were saying that you think I am going to get a promotion?

But I'm afraid that it's a joke! I mean, I mean that's totally absurd!

Well, that makes sense.

When I need your opinion, I'll give it to you!

Our guess does not speak it through!

See how much I know!

I'm going to give you a little test.

Heads or tails?

Oh! Neither, neither one.

Bingo!

As soon as you predicted my promotion, I knew it is for real!

No, no, no! Wait a minute! You got a lesson to me.

Be abide to a real fortune teller,

I woud have known what the coin would land on it;

by unimbeded tail! So you want to arrest me!

Who put this man in chains?

But I'm not a fortune teller! It's all a lie!

I ... I am flattering the people of the village!

I tell them what they want to hear so they believe me anything,

anything I say! But-b-b-b... But I am not a real fortune teller!

Please, don't arrest me!

- Please! - Uh!

So, you are a fake!

But the Gauls believe anything you say as if it's true, huh?

Oh, yes!

I have their trust.

Your actions have been foully and unworthy, Asterix!

It's dangerous to anger a fortune teller!

He is an impostor, he takes all your money to make himself fat!

He's out there right now, looking for a whole new bunch of suckers!

No, I don't think so! He wasn't an impostor, he said all the right things.

- Please Mrs. Chief, open your eyes! - Open her eyes? Open your eyes!

Oh! Oh! Oh, we'll see! The fortune teller would take avenge on us all!

All right!

Oh, my gosh!

It's Prolix, the fortune teller! He is back!

Yes, people of Gaul!

I've returned, to tell you that your village is doomed!

Even your air will be a poisonous snoose!

Take a breath,

and very hair on your head will be scrolled up and cream with things!

lt's not my fault! Fortune will come like a cloud!

I did not want this for you, but it's bad luck to go without fortune tellers.

Please, get away before it is too late!

I tell you it's your only hope!

Now everyone has been warned!

I will not stay another minute in this doomed village!

Lets go to Paris (Lutetia), please! Oh, Piggywiggy!

You're gone nuts?

You are not going to abandon our village on account of fur face!

But if on the chance he is right, we would all be doomed.

I think we should move to the little island that is right off the coast.

- But Piggywiggy, it's in Lutetia that we-- - Don't be silly,

when the danger is cleared, we will come back to the village.

Asterix, shall we go?

No, I'll stay!

Everybody else, get to the boats!

[Narrator:] And so it was, the Romans struck their single greatest victory against the Gauls,

without so much historic stroke of a sword.

He'll be mine, Asterix!

- Obelix, are you leaving? - Ah, well!

No, uh, I'll stay!

All aboard, who's going aboard!

Oh-ho! Oh ho-ho-ho-ho!

The Romans can attack whenever they like now.

Huh!

I guess we should hide.

That's it! Mission accomplished!

The Gauls have left their village.

I am not a bit surprised, I knew all along that you were a real fortune teller.

Arrest him now?

B-b-b-but you promised you would let me go free!

Oh, no! I am first going to check to make sure that the Gaul village is clear.

- Uh-huh! I knew it! - I'll bet!

Oh, no! That is not what I meant.

I didn't know at all, I am not a fortune teller!

It was just a haunch! That's all! That's all!

Look! The fortune teller lead the Romans right into our village.

The fortune teller and the Romans, of course they are in this together!

We're not going to let the Romans take our village!

Let's go see them all embarrass!

No Obelix, without the vitamin potion, they'll catch you!

Now we are useless!

All we can do now is sit here and keep an eye on Vitamix.

This place is deserted, completely deserted, Bossanova, Sir.

Come!

Go to Rome and carry this message to Caesar.

You'll tell him: All of Gaul is occupied!

Then he will ask: "Totally?" And you will say to him: "Totally!"

- Oh, yeah! - He will understand. Hmm-hmm!

And it's mad!

As Caesar would say, "Gentlemen, as we came, we saw and we got them."

Bravo Prolix, you are really good!

So then you want, I should I arrest him now? Uh, he's a real fortune teller.

- And as he said you'll be promoted! - But, but, it is not true! I told you it's not true!

What do you mean? Are you saying...

now you think I am not going to receive my promotion?

But I could not know that!

- What do you see? - But I told you I don't make predictions, then.

Oh, that's true, or I will read my future on your own inside!

- Uh, oh! Uh-hmm...! Yes, you will get a promotion! - So, we arrest him?

No, this so fast! A fortune teller could come in very useful.

Yes Sir, but order is order! I say, if he is a real fortune teller, we arrest him.

But I am not! I'm a fake! Remember, I predicted...uh, uh, a curse on the air of the village?

You know? All at a sudden I think there is a kind of strange odor!

- Don't you think? - No, strange odor?

Yeah!

A strange odor!

Uh-uh!

Oh, Bossanova, the air is unbreathable in the village! It stinks bad!

Stinks bad? I told you!

You are incredible, Prolix! You not only predict the future, you call it to happen!

Hey, did you permit it?

This in the end, I swear I must make lies to everyone.

I'm completely innocent!

That's ridiculous, for myself know that totally I am lying!

Impossible! That's impossible! I swear to you all!

I can not predict anything, I--

Ah! Ah! I swear to you, I didn't know, I swear!

It's not possible!

Trumpeter, sound the evacuation of this place, all of it double!

Tan-ta-ta! Ta-ta-ta!...

Vitamix!

- Vitamix! - Vitamix!

Vitamix!

- Vitamix! - Wait for me!

O-Obelix!

Asterix!

Asterix!

Asterix!

Asterix!

This is all my fault!

And to think it's all because of that too bad stupid little rocket!

Oh ... oh! Wonder rocket!

Oh! Ah!

Asterix!

Asterix?

Asterix!

You called me Asterix? Vitamix, you're cured!

Obelix, did you throw this rock on Vitamix?

Absolutely, to cure the poor wizard!

So, don't you try tell me I did the wrong thing?

Oh! Oh-Oh!

Oh, stop joking! Can you, Obelix, take the rock get me up from under this rock?

Oh, this is great! Obelix, I can't believe it!

- Our wizard is still safe. - I can't believe that either! Good boy!

What do you mean still? I just cured him with my own delicate treatment!

Piggywiggy, how much longer are we staying around here? - Huh?

You stupid bad boar! Have you read from Prolix we did in Paris (Lutetia)?

But baby, as soon as everything settles down we will go back to the village.

- As long as I'm on this island I'll never get my jewels. - Or my career!

Oh, shut!

I throw my hours away here, a little fishy, and all is marble!

- You're scaring the fish! - Cut it out.

- Out fisher! - Whatever!

[Narrator:] Thus, the Gauls continued their patient watch.

That I said Gaul, not gull!

They were hoping something might happen, anything that will allow them to regain their cozy little village.

But what it was that might happen, they really couldn't guess.

It's... Boss!

At ease!

- Ah, This is much better. - What?

But we had to retreat from the village we just conquered.

So, thanks to the fortune teller, we now have no more Gauls, that is the main thing.

- Good, so now I can arrest him. - Absolutely not! Huh!

Excuse me, a beg your pardon, I don't think I quite understand.

Of course you're not! That is why I am a "Bossa Nova" and you are the boss of nobody!

Come along, amigo. I want to talk with you.

Aye! Oh, no!

You predict our fates, that you are a true fortune teller!

You knew, there would be a disaster and it came.

Oh, I get it through, I am a fortune teller. Fortune teller, am I!

You should be placed under arrest.

- I am sure I must be a fake! - But a fortune teller could be useful to me.

- I am not a fake ! - With your predictions and advice.

- I am a fortune teller! - I could go very far!

- I am a fortune teller. - Maybe I even replace Caesar.

- I can go to Rome. - Of course I'll be very generous.

Oh, that's it! Fortune I'll ask! Oh!

Make up your mind, because if you're not real, we will tear you apart!

Owe!

Please sit down and tell me a little bit more about my future.

But, Bossanova, I already told you all that the gods will give you protection!

- And you will be promoted, and-- and--! - I know!

Tell me how it's going to be when I am, uh,... Caesar!

Well, you will be real powerful and... famous for you salute dressing.

- Very good! Very good! And Cleopatra? - What is Cleopatra?

You have never heard of Cleopatra?

Oh, you don't have to tell Cleopatra! Cleopatra sillies me! How could I forget Cleopatra!

She will be crazy for you, head over heels for you, mainly in love till death for you, when I felt that--

Fortune Teller!

- Uh! Who are you? - You mean you don't know?

- What do you want? - You are the lucky winner, Prolix!

- Winner? Winner of what? - It is a surprise!

- Surprise, what kind of a surprise? - Can't you guess, fortune teller?

Oh, well! Yes, of course, I can!

I was told asking a surprise, a fool appear surprise!

So, I waited. It's coming to me, uh, uh-- Uh--

Fortune teller, tell her the men you're surprised.

But I don't know how!

- What was that noise? - How would I know?

The Gauls! The Gauls!

The Gauls, whether if they come, but you didn't let me know.

Bu-b-b-but Bossanova, How was I supposed to know?

- Liar! - Leave him to me!

No, you couldn't guess we were here, huh, fortune teller? Embarrass!

And Piggywiggy partners with my brother? It was all a lie! Shame on you!

Bravo, Madam! A bravo! Oh, no!

Vitamin potion!

Am I right back here?

Ouch!

Who dare to bark at me?!

All the girls!

Wait, who are you?

I am here, Precutic Bulbus, Special Envoy to Julius Caesar!

A pleasure to meet you!.... The stone is right behind me!

Hey, dog reader!

Good day!

Julius Caesar asked me to come and see if you really and truly...

had conquered these fearsome and rebellious Gauls.

Bossanova, you are an embarrassment! They conquered you!

It's all right!

Come on, everybody! Lets go home!

But it's not all my fault, there was in it followed me fortune teller--

Shut up, you have been demoted!

You are a legionnaire and even that is too generous!

Oh, I am going to be promoted, am I? Centurion, arrest this impostor!

I will not take order from some low ranking legionaire!

And you'll clean up this entire mess alone and speak properly to your superior!

After that!

Uh, go on, go on, get out!

Punitive crazing away stuff inside of my camp!

After the storm, sunny days, sunny days!

VictorR – 09/23/2013.

♪ Like you all, press to somber ♫ You see I buy a holder

♪ Now he sworn he can't remember ♫ You say so

♪ He just sees stars.

♫ What do! What do! I'll do what?

♫ What do! What do! I'll do what?

♪ Song called "Crazy"! ♫ He stays in this too hard

♫ Got future in this life ♫ Keep to it on the sky

♪ He is ours ♫ Let the old be cured

♪ The hombre head was he ♫ Was he?

♪ He is the ... ah - ha... ♫ That way membered

♪ For that uh – uh – uh… ♪