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1
00:00:04,560 --> 00:00:08,229
Hey, Ralph, I need $30,000.
2
00:00:08,246 --> 00:00:10,448
Whoa, that is a hot entrance.
3
00:00:10,482 --> 00:00:12,497
Ralph, I need my drops please.
4
00:00:12,530 --> 00:00:14,541
My eyes are hungy.
5
00:00:14,911 --> 00:00:16,535
All right, Helen. Here we go.
6
00:00:16,566 --> 00:00:18,354
Oh, gimme!
7
00:00:18,387 --> 00:00:19,686
- [GROANS]
- There you go.
8
00:00:19,849 --> 00:00:21,749
[GROANS] Oh, yummy, yummy.
9
00:00:21,759 --> 00:00:23,091
Okay, what's wrong, Jack?
10
00:00:23,099 --> 00:00:26,000
Yeah, well, so last
night I was driving home
11
00:00:26,013 --> 00:00:29,233
and some creature like
a deer or maybe a bum,
12
00:00:29,271 --> 00:00:31,519
something, who knows,
leapt 10 feet into the fog
13
00:00:31,554 --> 00:00:32,787
right in front of my car.
14
00:00:32,817 --> 00:00:34,967
So I swerved, you know,
saving the bum's life...
15
00:00:35,000 --> 00:00:36,221
No, this sounds like a deer.
16
00:00:36,251 --> 00:00:37,930
Bums can only jump like 4 or 5 feet.
17
00:00:37,962 --> 00:00:40,605
Well, either way, you know,
I swerved, and I hit a tree,
18
00:00:40,641 --> 00:00:42,030
and I totaled my car, all right?
19
00:00:42,061 --> 00:00:43,761
So this morning I called an Uber
20
00:00:43,793 --> 00:00:45,826
and got gouged because of some scam
21
00:00:45,859 --> 00:00:47,459
called "Surge Pricing" or something.
22
00:00:47,491 --> 00:00:48,538
Anyway, to get my money's worth
23
00:00:48,566 --> 00:00:50,232
I grabbed all the stupid amenities.
24
00:00:50,264 --> 00:00:54,065
Point being, I'm gonna need a
$30,000 advance for a new car.
25
00:00:54,105 --> 00:00:55,739
I enjoy a Jeep Rubicon.
26
00:00:55,771 --> 00:00:57,537
Ooh, love that. Might go Rubicon.
27
00:00:57,557 --> 00:00:59,624
Okay, we really don't
have the budget for that,
28
00:00:59,634 --> 00:01:02,735
but we've been missing
a Driver's Ed teacher
29
00:01:02,750 --> 00:01:03,945
ever since Linda disappeared.
30
00:01:03,975 --> 00:01:04,981
Oh, Linda.
31
00:01:05,010 --> 00:01:07,378
You'd have 24/7 access to the car.
32
00:01:07,675 --> 00:01:09,083
Okay, well, what... what kind of wheels
33
00:01:09,113 --> 00:01:10,412
are we talking about here?
34
00:01:10,419 --> 00:01:15,331
We are talking about V4, automatic,
35
00:01:15,378 --> 00:01:17,178
big sign on the roof.
36
00:01:17,187 --> 00:01:18,286
Is she fast?
37
00:01:18,292 --> 00:01:20,092
No.
38
00:01:20,102 --> 00:01:21,902
- I accept.
- Yeah.
39
00:01:21,911 --> 00:01:24,478
- All right. You want a mint?
- Yes.
40
00:01:24,490 --> 00:01:25,690
[RAMONES' "LISTEN TO MY HEART"]
41
00:01:25,697 --> 00:01:27,329
One, two, three, four!
42
00:01:27,338 --> 00:01:30,139
Next time, I'll
listen to my heart
43
00:01:30,152 --> 00:01:33,520
Next time, well, I'll be smart
44
00:01:33,536 --> 00:01:39,993
45
00:01:41,408 --> 00:01:42,875
- [DOOR CLICKS]
- Everybody, shut up.
46
00:01:42,883 --> 00:01:44,782
Attention, attention, everybody.
47
00:01:44,792 --> 00:01:48,327
All right, Grace, your
attention please. Jeez.
48
00:01:48,343 --> 00:01:51,076
Well, I'll assume that you all
heard that I've humbled myself
49
00:01:51,089 --> 00:01:53,691
by accepting the position
of Driver's Ed instructor,
50
00:01:53,704 --> 00:01:55,537
and apparently, that position requires
51
00:01:55,546 --> 00:01:56,978
a valid driver's license.
52
00:01:56,986 --> 00:01:58,919
So last night, I was
searching my apartment
53
00:01:58,929 --> 00:02:01,230
and I found this.
54
00:02:01,241 --> 00:02:03,641
This is a letter from Saint
Benedict's Catholic Church
55
00:02:03,653 --> 00:02:06,454
thanking my dead mother's estate
56
00:02:06,467 --> 00:02:10,235
for her bequest of $12,000
57
00:02:10,252 --> 00:02:14,288
which they used to buy a
statue of the Virgin Mary.
58
00:02:16,684 --> 00:02:19,218
So some money-grubbing priest
59
00:02:19,231 --> 00:02:21,531
barged in on my dead Mom's deathbed
60
00:02:21,542 --> 00:02:24,277
and conned her out of
her life savings. Nice.
61
00:02:24,290 --> 00:02:27,524
And you were there for this
unlikely sequence of events?
62
00:02:27,539 --> 00:02:29,339
Well, no, Dan, I wasn't there-there.
63
00:02:29,348 --> 00:02:30,747
I was stuck in Cambridge,
but you know how
64
00:02:30,755 --> 00:02:32,755
these clergy work. Mr. Griffin,
65
00:02:32,765 --> 00:02:34,999
do you maybe have something
against the church?
66
00:02:35,010 --> 00:02:38,645
Try 13 years of Sunday School.
67
00:02:38,662 --> 00:02:42,330
Every week hearing what a
bad little boy you've become.
68
00:02:42,347 --> 00:02:44,281
The sisters of perpetual torment
69
00:02:44,290 --> 00:02:46,457
making you feel like Pol Pot
70
00:02:46,468 --> 00:02:48,367
because you stuck gum
under a pew one time.
71
00:02:48,377 --> 00:02:50,811
Well, I'm not bad. They're bad!
72
00:02:52,833 --> 00:02:55,066
Anyway, the fact of the
matter is that's my statue
73
00:02:55,077 --> 00:02:56,810
and with your help
74
00:02:56,819 --> 00:02:58,119
I'm gonna steal it from them.
75
00:02:58,126 --> 00:03:00,726
That's pretty metal.
76
00:03:02,614 --> 00:03:05,589
Mr. Griffin, stealing from
a church feels pretty low
77
00:03:05,612 --> 00:03:06,862
even for you.
78
00:03:06,869 --> 00:03:08,135
I go to Saint Benedict's
79
00:03:08,142 --> 00:03:09,742
every Sunday with my grandmother.
80
00:03:09,751 --> 00:03:12,351
I'm in the choir. They
let me sing Rihanna.
81
00:03:12,363 --> 00:03:14,496
I want no part of this.
82
00:03:14,507 --> 00:03:16,842
Is that how everybody feels?
83
00:03:16,853 --> 00:03:19,653
Yeah? Grace?
84
00:03:19,667 --> 00:03:22,868
Wow. Okay, fine. Yeah.
85
00:03:22,883 --> 00:03:25,716
Mission aborted.
86
00:03:25,729 --> 00:03:28,764
Have it your way, guys.
Really appreciate it.
87
00:03:28,778 --> 00:03:30,845
All right, let's see. Ah!
88
00:03:30,856 --> 00:03:33,356
Anthony, Victor, and Heather,
89
00:03:33,368 --> 00:03:35,501
I'll see you at 2:00 for Driver's Ed,
90
00:03:35,511 --> 00:03:36,978
but don't expect to have a good time
91
00:03:36,986 --> 00:03:39,053
because I am in a mood.
92
00:03:39,064 --> 00:03:40,663
[BELL RINGS]
93
00:03:41,555 --> 00:03:44,189
At night do you keep, like,
a baseball bat beside your bed
94
00:03:44,202 --> 00:03:45,701
in case a home invader comes in?
95
00:03:45,709 --> 00:03:47,476
I have a straight up machete.
96
00:03:47,485 --> 00:03:48,985
I have a fork,
97
00:03:48,993 --> 00:03:51,160
and if I'm being honest,
under it is a plate
98
00:03:51,171 --> 00:03:53,504
and around it is spaghetti.
99
00:03:53,515 --> 00:03:55,148
Wow, this is a real quizzer.
100
00:03:55,157 --> 00:03:56,923
My friend sent me a bunch of emojis
101
00:03:56,932 --> 00:03:58,898
and I have no idea what this means.
102
00:03:58,908 --> 00:04:03,010
Ooh, is it something
juicy, something filthy?
103
00:04:03,028 --> 00:04:06,063
First there's a doctor, then
there's a lady in a dress,
104
00:04:06,078 --> 00:04:09,479
then a martini, martini, and a martini,
105
00:04:09,494 --> 00:04:13,196
a hotel, a pill, a sleepy face,
106
00:04:13,213 --> 00:04:16,447
a needle, a "What?
Who, me?" kind of shrug,
107
00:04:16,462 --> 00:04:18,029
and then money, money, money,
108
00:04:18,038 --> 00:04:20,972
lady in a bathing suit,
and a palm tree island.
109
00:04:20,986 --> 00:04:23,586
Helen, I think your friend's about
110
00:04:23,598 --> 00:04:25,531
to murder a doctor for money.
111
00:04:25,541 --> 00:04:28,309
But she's married to a doctor...
112
00:04:28,322 --> 00:04:30,922
Oh, my Gondo.
113
00:04:34,050 --> 00:04:37,684
Doing great, Vic. Little slow.
114
00:04:37,701 --> 00:04:39,902
You also seem terrified.
115
00:04:39,913 --> 00:04:43,114
Okay, Victor, bust a U-Turn here.
116
00:04:43,129 --> 00:04:44,695
When do I signal?
117
00:04:44,703 --> 00:04:46,603
Now? Is it already too late?
118
00:04:46,613 --> 00:04:48,713
Signaling is, it's pretty optional.
119
00:04:48,723 --> 00:04:50,323
- [CLANKING]
- Oh.
120
00:04:50,332 --> 00:04:52,966
Yeah, you're gonna want to
make your way back to the road.
121
00:04:52,978 --> 00:04:55,178
Oh, God. Oh, God.
122
00:04:55,189 --> 00:04:57,462
Okay, let's just, we're
gonna find our way back.
123
00:04:57,496 --> 00:04:58,604
[RUMBLING]
124
00:04:58,652 --> 00:05:00,320
Kay, yeah, now go ahead
and hit the brakes.
125
00:05:00,351 --> 00:05:02,218
There you go.
126
00:05:03,354 --> 00:05:05,921
Um, why are we at my church?
127
00:05:07,425 --> 00:05:11,293
It's on, baby.
128
00:05:11,311 --> 00:05:13,478
Ugh. Wow.
129
00:05:13,489 --> 00:05:15,923
Okay, I botched that.
Let's forget the hat thing.
130
00:05:15,935 --> 00:05:18,302
All right, come on. Everybody out.
131
00:05:18,313 --> 00:05:19,612
Let's go.
132
00:05:20,831 --> 00:05:23,892
Are you crazy? My grandma
and I come here every week.
133
00:05:23,930 --> 00:05:25,797
I am not helping you steal a statue.
134
00:05:25,806 --> 00:05:27,646
Well, we can't steal something
135
00:05:27,679 --> 00:05:30,147
that's already rightfully
mine, so problem solved.
136
00:05:30,159 --> 00:05:31,425
You don't see Victor complaining.
137
00:05:31,432 --> 00:05:34,025
- I'm just happy to be out of the car.
- Right.
138
00:05:34,044 --> 00:05:36,745
I almost had a nervous movement.
139
00:05:36,758 --> 00:05:39,058
- [WHISPERING] A poo.
- Yeah, I know...
140
00:05:39,070 --> 00:05:41,405
Good to know, thanks for sharing.
141
00:05:41,461 --> 00:05:43,728
All right, look, Anthony,
you're already an accessory.
142
00:05:43,739 --> 00:05:45,739
Okay, you're in too deep, buddy.
143
00:05:45,749 --> 00:05:47,581
Plus you're the strongest one here.
144
00:05:47,591 --> 00:05:49,658
I need your help carrying this thing.
145
00:05:49,668 --> 00:05:53,970
Fine, but only because you
appeal to my sense of vanity.
146
00:05:53,990 --> 00:05:56,558
- Got A-Train.
- Got A-Train, all right.
147
00:05:58,914 --> 00:06:00,981
- Maybe a little quicker?
- You get what you get!
148
00:06:00,992 --> 00:06:03,326
Get what I get, all right.
149
00:06:03,337 --> 00:06:05,537
Come on.
150
00:06:10,070 --> 00:06:13,071
[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC]
151
00:06:13,320 --> 00:06:15,287
152
00:06:15,297 --> 00:06:18,565
[SIGHS] Okay, come on. Let's go.
153
00:06:24,910 --> 00:06:27,645
[WHISPERING] Okay, here. Come on.
154
00:06:27,658 --> 00:06:29,824
We gotta spread this.
155
00:06:29,835 --> 00:06:31,201
Spread this.
156
00:06:31,208 --> 00:06:33,108
Okay.
157
00:06:33,118 --> 00:06:36,086
Tip it. Tip it.
158
00:06:36,100 --> 00:06:37,600
Go, go, go.
159
00:06:37,608 --> 00:06:39,073
[ALL GRUNTING]
160
00:06:40,957 --> 00:06:42,624
Anthony, ready? Go on three.
161
00:06:42,633 --> 00:06:45,734
On three. One, two...
162
00:06:45,749 --> 00:06:48,950
[ROCK MUSIC]
163
00:06:48,965 --> 00:06:56,036
164
00:07:03,738 --> 00:07:07,140
Come on. Okay. All right.
165
00:07:07,156 --> 00:07:08,655
What are you doing?
Why are you driving?!
166
00:07:08,663 --> 00:07:10,663
I don't know!
167
00:07:10,673 --> 00:07:12,406
All right. [MUTTERING]
168
00:07:12,415 --> 00:07:15,083
Go, go, go.
169
00:07:15,096 --> 00:07:17,662
[TIRES SCREECH]
170
00:07:20,203 --> 00:07:22,404
Come on, man, one pedal at a time.
171
00:07:22,415 --> 00:07:24,960
What is happening?
172
00:07:24,995 --> 00:07:26,368
Go!
173
00:07:26,406 --> 00:07:27,972
Come on, Vic. You got it, buddy.
174
00:07:27,980 --> 00:07:29,980
Let's go.
175
00:07:29,991 --> 00:07:31,990
["DIDN'T IT RAIN" BY FERN JONES]
176
00:07:32,000 --> 00:07:35,368
Didn't it rain and
rain and rain children
177
00:07:35,383 --> 00:07:37,416
Rain oh my Lord
178
00:07:37,426 --> 00:07:39,627
Didn't it didn't it
179
00:07:39,638 --> 00:07:42,973
Didn't it oh oh my Lord
180
00:07:42,989 --> 00:07:44,955
Did it rain
181
00:07:44,965 --> 00:07:46,932
Tell me didn't it rain and rain
182
00:07:46,942 --> 00:07:49,722
Jack, Jack, yeah, I
don't want to alarm you.
183
00:07:49,758 --> 00:07:51,591
This is bad. Real nightmare stuff.
184
00:07:51,600 --> 00:07:53,466
I just got off the phone
with Saint Benedict's Church.
185
00:07:53,476 --> 00:07:56,477
Someone stole a statue from
there yesterday afternoon.
186
00:07:56,491 --> 00:08:00,593
One of the priests saw
the Whitlock High Dri...
187
00:08:01,750 --> 00:08:03,517
The Whitlock High Driver's Ed car
188
00:08:03,526 --> 00:08:05,692
speeding away from
the scene of the crime.
189
00:08:05,703 --> 00:08:07,703
Did they see who did
it or how many kids?
190
00:08:07,713 --> 00:08:09,713
No, just the car. Did you see anything?
191
00:08:09,723 --> 00:08:12,274
Did I see... No, I just had a lesson,
192
00:08:12,387 --> 00:08:13,445
and then I came back to school,
193
00:08:13,473 --> 00:08:15,373
put my keys right in
the middle of my desk
194
00:08:15,556 --> 00:08:19,658
and went to work on my
book in the library alone.
195
00:08:19,676 --> 00:08:20,876
One of your students
196
00:08:20,883 --> 00:08:22,216
must have taken the keys off the desk,
197
00:08:22,224 --> 00:08:23,656
- borrowed the car...
- Yep.
198
00:08:23,663 --> 00:08:25,329
Stolen the statue.
199
00:08:25,338 --> 00:08:27,239
Now I'm gonna cross-reference
which one of your students
200
00:08:27,249 --> 00:08:29,983
is a middle child because
they look for attention.
201
00:08:29,996 --> 00:08:32,562
It seems like you might
have a juggalo in your class.
202
00:08:32,574 --> 00:08:37,076
Yep. Yes, this all feels like
a very credible hypothesis.
203
00:08:37,096 --> 00:08:40,364
Let's find this middle child juggalo.
204
00:08:40,380 --> 00:08:42,214
The church wants to handle this quietly,
205
00:08:42,223 --> 00:08:45,190
but they're sending
someone to the school
206
00:08:45,204 --> 00:08:46,937
and they're gonna have
to talk to your students.
207
00:08:46,946 --> 00:08:48,545
We need to find this punk,
208
00:08:48,553 --> 00:08:51,721
but it's gonna be tough
because without the makeup
209
00:08:51,736 --> 00:08:53,303
juggalos looks like everyone else.
210
00:08:53,312 --> 00:08:56,813
It could be someone
you work with every day.
211
00:09:01,319 --> 00:09:04,987
Well, bad news, kiddos. We pooched it.
212
00:09:05,004 --> 00:09:07,537
Yep. The church knows someone
used the Driver's Ed car
213
00:09:07,549 --> 00:09:08,849
to steal the statue.
214
00:09:08,856 --> 00:09:10,522
Anyway, it's no big deal.
215
00:09:10,531 --> 00:09:12,631
They think that any of you
could have taken my keys,
216
00:09:12,641 --> 00:09:15,542
so the church is sending some
fuddy-duddy priest down here
217
00:09:15,556 --> 00:09:18,356
to play Columbo and ask
you all some questions.
218
00:09:18,369 --> 00:09:21,004
Look, most of you just need
to tell the truth, you know?
219
00:09:21,017 --> 00:09:22,349
After school, you were engaged
220
00:09:22,356 --> 00:09:24,690
in various extracurricular activities.
221
00:09:24,702 --> 00:09:25,816
Lacrosse, glee club,
222
00:09:25,845 --> 00:09:27,652
anything that lets me
hold on to my mom's statue.
223
00:09:27,684 --> 00:09:29,584
I don't care. All right,
Heather, Victor, Anthony,
224
00:09:29,593 --> 00:09:31,492
you guys just need to
come up with an easy alibi.
225
00:09:31,502 --> 00:09:33,535
Something simple.
Something you can stick to.
226
00:09:33,545 --> 00:09:36,113
And it can be anything.
227
00:09:36,126 --> 00:09:38,693
Okay, now this attitude
immediately worries me.
228
00:09:38,705 --> 00:09:39,904
Got it.
229
00:09:39,911 --> 00:09:42,712
I was on a date with...
230
00:09:42,725 --> 00:09:44,758
A supermodel.
231
00:09:44,769 --> 00:09:46,035
Pew!
232
00:09:46,042 --> 00:09:48,775
No. No, no, no. Absolutely not.
233
00:09:48,811 --> 00:09:49,927
Come up with something better than that.
234
00:09:49,940 --> 00:09:51,659
Heather, I know you'll come
up with something great.
235
00:09:51,690 --> 00:09:52,889
Anthony, you good?
236
00:09:52,919 --> 00:09:54,251
The only reason I'm doing this
237
00:09:54,282 --> 00:09:55,975
is so my grandma doesn't find out
238
00:09:56,007 --> 00:09:57,573
and for the record, I'm not thrilled
239
00:09:57,604 --> 00:09:59,905
about lying to a priest.
240
00:09:59,940 --> 00:10:01,539
Awesome, so we're good.
241
00:10:01,570 --> 00:10:03,403
Yeah, everybody just
needs to stay strong and,
242
00:10:03,422 --> 00:10:04,821
you know, everything'll be...
243
00:10:04,828 --> 00:10:07,829
[OMINOUS MUSIC]
244
00:10:09,000 --> 00:10:10,500
what is it boss
245
00:10:12,200 --> 00:10:13,533
Boss?
246
00:10:13,563 --> 00:10:21,033
247
00:10:21,383 --> 00:10:25,019
[WHIMPERING]
248
00:10:25,035 --> 00:10:26,634
Nuns.
249
00:10:26,643 --> 00:10:29,477
They sent nuns.
250
00:10:31,210 --> 00:10:33,445
[STAMMERING] Do you
guys think they saw me?
251
00:10:33,456 --> 00:10:35,112
Saw you? What are you talking about?
252
00:10:35,488 --> 00:10:37,022
It's a simple question, Sarika.
253
00:10:37,030 --> 00:10:39,955
That pod of nuns. Did they see me?
254
00:10:39,983 --> 00:10:42,249
God, it's hot in here
and getting louder.
255
00:10:42,260 --> 00:10:43,693
Everybody, just... just back off me.
256
00:10:43,701 --> 00:10:46,035
Okay, stop looking at me. Grace!
257
00:10:46,046 --> 00:10:47,612
Okay.
258
00:10:47,620 --> 00:10:50,354
Oh, God! No, Durbin, bad, bad!
259
00:10:50,367 --> 00:10:51,800
Do not sneak up on me like that.
260
00:10:51,808 --> 00:10:53,207
Sorry, Jack.
261
00:10:53,215 --> 00:10:56,016
It's these dress Toms.
They are so quiet.
262
00:10:56,029 --> 00:10:57,996
They're ready to start the interview.
263
00:10:58,006 --> 00:11:00,239
Sarika, you're up first,
264
00:11:00,250 --> 00:11:03,852
and I will look into
getting louder shoes.
265
00:11:03,869 --> 00:11:05,135
[CLEARS THROAT]
266
00:11:05,142 --> 00:11:06,608
All right, Sarika, you got this.
267
00:11:06,616 --> 00:11:08,248
It's gonna be fine.
Just stick to your story,
268
00:11:08,256 --> 00:11:11,157
and don't let them use
their powers on you.
269
00:11:11,171 --> 00:11:15,210
Mr. Griffin, do you believe
the nuns have special powers?
270
00:11:15,251 --> 00:11:16,290
A little.
271
00:11:16,297 --> 00:11:18,831
I do, I think they have
a little bit of magic.
272
00:11:18,843 --> 00:11:20,442
Okay.
273
00:11:20,450 --> 00:11:24,119
Sarika, just don't look them
directly in the eyes, okay?
274
00:11:24,136 --> 00:11:27,137
Sarika, just to be safe!
275
00:11:28,189 --> 00:11:31,390
[OMINOUS PIPE ORGAN MUSIC]
276
00:11:31,405 --> 00:11:35,407
277
00:11:36,531 --> 00:11:38,265
Sarika Sarkar.
278
00:11:38,274 --> 00:11:41,241
What unfortunate circumstances
bring us together today.
279
00:11:41,255 --> 00:11:43,221
But what a lovely jacket.
280
00:11:43,231 --> 00:11:45,432
Oh, thank you. I got it at the store...
281
00:11:45,443 --> 00:11:47,643
You know, Sarika, the
Bible says that in the end
282
00:11:47,654 --> 00:11:52,690
liars will reside in the
lake that burns with fire.
283
00:11:52,712 --> 00:11:57,147
Where were you between
2:00 and 5:00 yesterday?
284
00:11:57,167 --> 00:12:00,836
- I was...
- Sit up.
285
00:12:00,853 --> 00:12:03,554
I was at study hall.
286
00:12:03,567 --> 00:12:06,100
Really?
287
00:12:06,112 --> 00:12:09,280
- I was watching sports.
- What game?
288
00:12:09,295 --> 00:12:11,863
It was porn.
289
00:12:11,875 --> 00:12:14,075
You guys are good.
290
00:12:14,086 --> 00:12:15,819
I...
291
00:12:15,828 --> 00:12:19,896
okay, this lady has not
blinked since I been in here.
292
00:12:19,914 --> 00:12:21,179
Does she ever blink?
293
00:12:21,187 --> 00:12:22,988
I drink, I cuss, I sleep around.
294
00:12:22,997 --> 00:12:24,462
What are you gonna do about it?
295
00:12:24,470 --> 00:12:27,338
I don't think you do
any of those things.
296
00:12:27,351 --> 00:12:29,151
I use the B-word sometimes.
297
00:12:29,161 --> 00:12:30,727
Who hasn't?
298
00:12:31,707 --> 00:12:34,174
Damn it, where's my damn splenda?!
299
00:12:34,186 --> 00:12:36,219
Michelle.
300
00:12:36,229 --> 00:12:38,863
[GASP] Oh, my gosh. I'm so sorry.
301
00:12:38,876 --> 00:12:41,543
Well, that's still seven Hail Marys.
302
00:12:43,432 --> 00:12:44,732
- [LAUGHTER]
- There we go.
303
00:12:44,739 --> 00:12:46,605
Okay, cool nun, you got jokes.
304
00:12:46,615 --> 00:12:48,115
Are you allowed to do that?
305
00:12:48,123 --> 00:12:49,622
Yes, we're allowed to joke.
306
00:12:49,630 --> 00:12:51,395
Are you allowed to skateboard?
307
00:12:51,404 --> 00:12:52,503
What's the deal with that whole thing?
308
00:12:52,510 --> 00:12:54,644
I think we can skateboard.
309
00:12:54,654 --> 00:12:56,187
So do you get your own clothes
310
00:12:56,195 --> 00:12:58,295
or just, like, grab one of those
311
00:12:58,306 --> 00:13:00,439
off a big pile every morning?
312
00:13:00,449 --> 00:13:02,216
- Uh...
- Can you cuddle?
313
00:13:02,226 --> 00:13:03,491
That's a gray area.
314
00:13:03,498 --> 00:13:06,666
Have you ever eaten a jalape?o?
315
00:13:06,681 --> 00:13:09,549
- Once.
- Ooh, you're a bad girl.
316
00:13:09,562 --> 00:13:11,562
- In Rome.
- ALL: Ooh.
317
00:13:11,572 --> 00:13:13,672
Oh, she got a Roman jalape?o.
318
00:13:13,683 --> 00:13:15,349
I said we should go Yogurtland
319
00:13:15,357 --> 00:13:18,025
because they know me
there. She didn't want to
320
00:13:18,038 --> 00:13:20,605
because of her modeling, but I said that
321
00:13:20,618 --> 00:13:22,151
I thought she looked really good
322
00:13:22,159 --> 00:13:24,726
regardless of how much yogurt she ate
323
00:13:24,738 --> 00:13:27,972
because I'm a very
body positive type of...
324
00:13:27,987 --> 00:13:32,122
It seems our thief left a
glass slipper at the scene.
325
00:13:32,141 --> 00:13:36,677
Does this retainer look familiar?
326
00:13:36,697 --> 00:13:38,898
Oh, that's not mine.
327
00:13:38,909 --> 00:13:41,209
There's only way to find out.
328
00:13:41,220 --> 00:13:43,553
What?
329
00:13:43,565 --> 00:13:45,498
Open.
330
00:13:45,508 --> 00:13:47,742
[OMINOUS MUSIC]
331
00:13:47,753 --> 00:13:50,054
332
00:13:51,300 --> 00:13:53,467
Hey, hey, how'd it go? Did you cave?
333
00:13:53,477 --> 00:13:55,144
You caved. I knew you'd cave.
334
00:13:55,153 --> 00:13:56,953
- Damn it, Victor!
- I didn't cave.
335
00:13:56,962 --> 00:13:59,294
They think I'm innocent.
Yes, you're my rock, Vic!
336
00:13:59,306 --> 00:14:00,973
[LAUGHS] Always have been.
337
00:14:00,982 --> 00:14:03,382
I think we've got
bigger problems though.
338
00:14:03,393 --> 00:14:05,393
They found a retainer at the church
339
00:14:05,403 --> 00:14:07,837
and they made me try it on.
340
00:14:07,849 --> 00:14:10,083
What?
341
00:14:10,094 --> 00:14:12,227
Oh, no. My retainer's gone.
342
00:14:12,238 --> 00:14:13,704
It must have fallen out of my pocket.
343
00:14:13,712 --> 00:14:15,578
No, Anthony, once they
make you try it on,
344
00:14:15,587 --> 00:14:16,954
they'll see that it fits,
345
00:14:16,962 --> 00:14:18,795
and then they'll have us dead to rights.
346
00:14:18,804 --> 00:14:20,971
The nuns win.
347
00:14:20,982 --> 00:14:22,414
[PIPE ORGAN MUSIC]
348
00:14:22,422 --> 00:14:25,991
This is what I get for
being a bad little boy.
349
00:14:28,062 --> 00:14:29,421
I mean, all they're gonna see
350
00:14:29,433 --> 00:14:30,932
is a teacher who stole from a church.
351
00:14:30,940 --> 00:14:33,064
They're not gonna care
that I was a good boy
352
00:14:33,098 --> 00:14:34,864
who was trying to
avenge his dead mother.
353
00:14:34,873 --> 00:14:36,973
I mean, I... I'm screwed.
354
00:14:36,983 --> 00:14:38,250
We all are.
355
00:14:38,258 --> 00:14:42,159
[WHIMPERING]
356
00:14:42,176 --> 00:14:44,009
They only have evidence on me.
357
00:14:44,019 --> 00:14:45,953
No one else has to get in trouble.
358
00:14:45,963 --> 00:14:47,862
What?
359
00:14:47,871 --> 00:14:49,705
You'd take the fall?
360
00:14:49,715 --> 00:14:51,547
Sweet, sweet Anthony, would you do that?
361
00:14:51,556 --> 00:14:52,656
I could kiss you.
362
00:14:52,662 --> 00:14:55,029
I'll try and keep that in
mind when my grandmother
363
00:14:55,041 --> 00:14:56,907
wants nothing to do with me.
364
00:14:56,917 --> 00:14:59,584
Yeah.
365
00:15:02,444 --> 00:15:03,778
Anthony, I appreciate the gesture,
366
00:15:03,785 --> 00:15:06,418
but is the sad walk really necessary?
367
00:15:06,431 --> 00:15:08,298
Come on, man. Look,
I know it's my fault,
368
00:15:08,307 --> 00:15:10,074
but I was just trying
to avenge my mother.
369
00:15:10,084 --> 00:15:11,750
Anthony. Come on, man.
370
00:15:11,758 --> 00:15:13,591
Look at me.
371
00:15:13,601 --> 00:15:16,500
[GROANS] Anthony, wait, wait, wait.
372
00:15:16,513 --> 00:15:17,679
All right, look, there's only one way
373
00:15:17,686 --> 00:15:19,603
to get rid of these Dementors.
374
00:15:19,613 --> 00:15:21,496
- Patronus.
- [INDISTINCT CHATTER]
375
00:15:21,505 --> 00:15:23,538
No, we need to get the
statue back to the church
376
00:15:23,549 --> 00:15:25,549
before they figure out who stole it.
377
00:15:25,559 --> 00:15:27,794
Heather, Victor, Anthony,
I need you to pick it up
378
00:15:27,805 --> 00:15:29,737
and sneak it back into the church.
379
00:15:29,747 --> 00:15:33,082
We'll add Dan Decker for muscle.
380
00:15:33,097 --> 00:15:35,731
[SCOFFS] Schwing.
381
00:15:35,744 --> 00:15:37,211
What are you going to do?
382
00:15:37,219 --> 00:15:40,053
I'm gonna go stall those nuns.
383
00:15:40,066 --> 00:15:42,132
[OMINOUS MUSIC]
384
00:15:42,142 --> 00:15:44,476
[KNOCKING AT DOOR]
385
00:15:44,488 --> 00:15:47,889
Hi, how are you... how are you doing?
386
00:15:47,905 --> 00:15:49,437
I'm sorry. Who are you?
387
00:15:49,445 --> 00:15:51,678
Oh, right. Duh.
388
00:15:51,689 --> 00:15:54,190
I'm Jack. I'm the Driver's Ed professor.
389
00:15:54,202 --> 00:15:58,805
Just thought maybe I could
help you guys crack this case.
390
00:15:58,826 --> 00:16:01,293
It is hot as hel... it is hot in here.
391
00:16:01,304 --> 00:16:05,239
Can I... do you mind if I?
392
00:16:05,257 --> 00:16:07,091
Very, very dry.
393
00:16:07,181 --> 00:16:10,449
[SIGHS] Have you guys
checked the Protestants?
394
00:16:10,464 --> 00:16:11,996
They hate you guys.
395
00:16:12,005 --> 00:16:14,706
- Be quiet.
- Oh.
396
00:16:14,718 --> 00:16:17,619
What did you say your name was again?
397
00:16:17,633 --> 00:16:19,199
Jack.
398
00:16:19,207 --> 00:16:22,907
Jack... Griffin.
399
00:16:22,924 --> 00:16:25,459
Are you Rosemary's son?
400
00:16:26,911 --> 00:16:30,780
Yep. That's right.
401
00:16:30,798 --> 00:16:32,531
[GASPS]
402
00:16:32,540 --> 00:16:33,872
[OMINOUS TONE]
403
00:16:33,879 --> 00:16:35,813
Ooh, there's one.
404
00:16:35,823 --> 00:16:38,769
Victor, there's... and
there's another one.
405
00:16:38,806 --> 00:16:40,157
Just park.
406
00:16:40,194 --> 00:16:43,544
That's a sideways one. I
can only do ones like this.
407
00:16:43,581 --> 00:16:45,114
Can we just hurry up already?
408
00:16:45,123 --> 00:16:46,989
Yo, Vic, can I please just park, Vic?
409
00:16:46,998 --> 00:16:48,932
I need to learn.
410
00:16:48,942 --> 00:16:50,608
Kay, well then, pull in.
411
00:16:50,617 --> 00:16:52,016
Don't need to learn, bruh.
412
00:16:52,023 --> 00:16:53,823
- Am I gonna hit that?
- Just park.
413
00:16:53,833 --> 00:16:56,267
- You have to re-attack it.
- [OVERLAPPING CHATTER]
414
00:16:56,279 --> 00:16:58,945
- Oh, my God.
- Back up. Back up.
415
00:16:58,957 --> 00:17:01,557
Imagine how good I'm
gonna be at driving though?
416
00:17:01,570 --> 00:17:03,070
Like, after all of this, I'm gonna be,
417
00:17:03,078 --> 00:17:04,577
like, really good at driving.
418
00:17:05,388 --> 00:17:08,858
Victor. Victor. Wait,
what are you doing?
419
00:17:08,874 --> 00:17:11,407
- This is how parking works.
- No, Victor.
420
00:17:11,419 --> 00:17:13,053
Stop... [SCREAMS]
421
00:17:13,062 --> 00:17:16,463
So it was your mother's
statue that went missing
422
00:17:16,479 --> 00:17:20,714
and your Driver's Ed car
at the scene of the crime.
423
00:17:20,733 --> 00:17:24,769
Wouldn't you say that was intriguing?
424
00:17:24,787 --> 00:17:28,022
I mean, I wouldn't exactly
call it "The DaVinci Code."
425
00:17:28,037 --> 00:17:29,536
[LAUGHS]
426
00:17:29,544 --> 00:17:31,044
Hostility.
427
00:17:31,052 --> 00:17:35,719
Often the cloak of a
man who feels guilt.
428
00:17:35,740 --> 00:17:37,540
Well, I didn't steal the statue, so...
429
00:17:37,550 --> 00:17:40,918
[GLASS SHAKES]
430
00:17:40,933 --> 00:17:44,502
I wasn't talking about that, Jack.
431
00:17:44,519 --> 00:17:47,086
I was talking about your mother.
432
00:17:47,098 --> 00:17:50,633
You didn't spend much time
with her in her final years,
433
00:17:50,649 --> 00:17:52,749
did you, Jack?
434
00:17:52,760 --> 00:17:56,162
Some, yeah, not much.
435
00:17:56,177 --> 00:17:57,642
We spoke on the phone quite a bit...
436
00:17:57,650 --> 00:17:59,150
I was busy.
437
00:17:59,158 --> 00:18:05,196
We're all busy, Jack,
but we also make choices.
438
00:18:06,561 --> 00:18:07,927
Did you...
439
00:18:09,810 --> 00:18:12,811
[SNEAKY MUSIC]
440
00:18:12,825 --> 00:18:16,594
441
00:18:16,612 --> 00:18:18,579
It must weigh heavy on you.
442
00:18:18,589 --> 00:18:24,125
All the trips home you canceled
because a meeting came up.
443
00:18:24,149 --> 00:18:27,000
All the birthdays you missed
444
00:18:27,000 --> 00:18:31,303
because you were out
making a name for yourself.
445
00:18:31,322 --> 00:18:33,021
Do you even know
446
00:18:33,030 --> 00:18:37,032
what your mother's
favorite cake was, Jack?!
447
00:18:38,559 --> 00:18:39,599
Easy. Choc...
448
00:18:39,600 --> 00:18:40,799
Carrot!
449
00:18:40,806 --> 00:18:42,205
Yep, carrot.
450
00:18:42,213 --> 00:18:44,314
You were about to say chocolate.
451
00:18:44,324 --> 00:18:45,690
That's funny. I feel like...
452
00:18:45,698 --> 00:18:47,731
I feel like I heard myself say carrot.
453
00:18:47,741 --> 00:18:54,879
454
00:19:10,957 --> 00:19:15,126
I'll tell you why you
stole your mother's statue.
455
00:19:15,145 --> 00:19:17,345
Because you resent us
456
00:19:17,356 --> 00:19:19,556
because we were there
for her when you were not.
457
00:19:19,567 --> 00:19:21,300
No! That's not true.
458
00:19:21,309 --> 00:19:23,742
That's not true. No.
459
00:19:23,754 --> 00:19:26,722
You took advantage of her
when she was old and weak.
460
00:19:26,736 --> 00:19:28,669
- Did we?
- Mm-hmm.
461
00:19:28,679 --> 00:19:33,383
Or did we give her the
company you failed to provide?
462
00:19:33,404 --> 00:19:35,937
Admit it! For her!
463
00:19:35,949 --> 00:19:39,284
[OMINOUS, DRAMATIC MUSIC]
464
00:19:40,439 --> 00:19:42,672
Yeah, yes.
465
00:19:42,683 --> 00:19:44,616
Yes, I feel guilty.
466
00:19:44,626 --> 00:19:46,793
I should have been there for my mom,
467
00:19:46,803 --> 00:19:48,669
and I wasn't.
468
00:19:48,679 --> 00:19:50,312
All right, yeah, okay, I was selfish
469
00:19:50,321 --> 00:19:53,288
and I let her die alone and
I should have been there.
470
00:19:53,302 --> 00:19:57,505
And that's why you stole the statue.
471
00:19:57,524 --> 00:19:59,357
Okay. [LAUGHS]
472
00:19:59,366 --> 00:20:02,734
[CELL PHONE RINGING]
473
00:20:07,473 --> 00:20:09,007
Hm.
474
00:20:13,001 --> 00:20:15,168
It appears a miracle has occurred
475
00:20:15,179 --> 00:20:19,148
and your mother's
statue has been returned.
476
00:20:21,811 --> 00:20:25,545
Wow. Cool. So you got your statue back?
477
00:20:25,562 --> 00:20:26,962
- Yep.
- That's great.
478
00:20:26,970 --> 00:20:28,136
Yeah, and I was here the whole time
479
00:20:28,143 --> 00:20:30,010
so it couldn't have been me.
480
00:20:30,019 --> 00:20:33,653
Holy cow... wow. [LAUGHING]
481
00:20:33,670 --> 00:20:38,006
Stuff got crazy in here for
a second there, didn't it?
482
00:20:38,025 --> 00:20:41,793
I'm sorry. You guys seem nice.
483
00:20:41,811 --> 00:20:44,980
All right, well... [SIGHS]
484
00:20:44,994 --> 00:20:48,328
I'm outta here.
485
00:20:50,186 --> 00:20:51,585
[GASPS]
486
00:20:51,593 --> 00:20:52,993
Spooky day, huh?
487
00:20:53,001 --> 00:20:54,434
You guys did good.
488
00:20:54,441 --> 00:20:57,207
Here, I swiped this off the desk.
489
00:20:57,221 --> 00:21:00,222
- Thanks, Mr. Griffin.
- Mm-hmm.
490
00:21:02,180 --> 00:21:05,581
Oh, and, uh...
491
00:21:05,596 --> 00:21:08,197
I want you to know I think it's great
492
00:21:08,210 --> 00:21:10,743
that you spend time with your grandma.
493
00:21:10,755 --> 00:21:14,457
You're gonna feel good
about that when she's dead.
494
00:21:20,629 --> 00:21:22,701
- Synced and Corrected by AnsumanChoudhury -
- www.addic7ed.com -
495
00:21:22,751 --> 00:21:27,301
Repair and Synchronization by
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