Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:41,642 --> 00:00:47,422
♪
2
00:00:47,448 --> 00:00:49,478
Jack: Where the hell did things go wrong?
3
00:00:51,552 --> 00:00:53,352
How did things change so quickly?
4
00:00:55,423 --> 00:00:57,630
I had so many questions.
5
00:00:59,260 --> 00:01:02,330
Some might blame karma,
kismet, fate or destiny,
6
00:01:02,363 --> 00:01:04,833
but those are just good
stripper names to me.
7
00:01:05,233 --> 00:01:07,443
Well, except maybe kismet.
8
00:01:08,269 --> 00:01:11,239
I believe it's the choices we
make that determine our future
9
00:01:11,739 --> 00:01:12,739
nothing else.
10
00:01:12,773 --> 00:01:20,773
♪
11
00:01:21,682 --> 00:01:24,392
♪ I wanna ticket to somewhere ♪
12
00:01:24,418 --> 00:01:28,818
♪ where I can find the face to
leave the memories of Holland ♪
13
00:01:28,856 --> 00:01:33,786
♪ I wanna ticket to somewhere,
anywhere but here ♪
14
00:01:33,827 --> 00:01:35,457
♪
15
00:01:35,496 --> 00:01:37,866
♪ Have you ever felt
like there's no where ♪
16
00:01:37,898 --> 00:01:41,638
(phone ringing)
17
00:01:41,669 --> 00:01:42,239
Jack.
18
00:01:42,270 --> 00:01:42,870
Wilson!
19
00:01:42,903 --> 00:01:44,343
Peacock's lost man.
20
00:01:44,372 --> 00:01:45,682
You are gonna bang it in London town.
21
00:01:45,706 --> 00:01:47,151
You smack that royal baby for me alright?
22
00:01:47,175 --> 00:01:48,535
Thank, man.
23
00:01:48,576 --> 00:01:50,187
In the mean time, I don't
know how I'm going
24
00:01:50,211 --> 00:01:51,611
to survive without you.
25
00:01:51,645 --> 00:01:53,223
You know I got these
abandonment issues right?
26
00:01:53,247 --> 00:01:54,747
You'll survive, Wilson.
27
00:01:54,782 --> 00:01:57,152
Really cause I, can I ask you?
28
00:01:57,185 --> 00:01:59,215
Does this look infected to you?
29
00:01:59,253 --> 00:02:00,753
Ahhh!
30
00:02:00,788 --> 00:02:04,228
Please see a doctor Wilson,
I got a lot of shit to do.
31
00:02:04,258 --> 00:02:11,528
♪ Put me on a fast jet cause
I don't like it on my own ♪
32
00:02:11,565 --> 00:02:14,635
♪ A ticket to love, a ticket to love ♪
33
00:02:14,668 --> 00:02:17,338
♪ Would bring me home
34
00:02:17,371 --> 00:02:24,351
♪ Would bring me ho-o-o-ome ♪
35
00:02:24,378 --> 00:02:28,778
♪ I wanna ticket to happy and
I heard they were free ♪
36
00:02:28,816 --> 00:02:31,386
♪ But I just have to chase her down ♪
37
00:02:31,419 --> 00:02:34,389
♪ I wanna ticket to happy ♪
38
00:02:34,422 --> 00:02:38,662
♪ To wipe away this upside down smile ♪
39
00:02:38,692 --> 00:02:43,662
♪ And I remember the ocean and
how it never seemed so close ♪
40
00:02:43,697 --> 00:02:47,467
♪ But when I was with you, I
wanna ticket to somewhere ♪
41
00:02:47,501 --> 00:02:48,741
(door chimes)
42
00:02:48,769 --> 00:02:50,899
♪ And I think I know where now ♪
43
00:02:50,938 --> 00:02:54,538
You want, uhh, fries with that?
44
00:02:54,575 --> 00:02:57,645
Okay, two fries and two onion rings, okay.
45
00:02:57,678 --> 00:02:59,448
So, that would be four cheeseburgers.
46
00:03:02,716 --> 00:03:04,176
Do you want some?
47
00:03:06,654 --> 00:03:07,794
Waitress: Thank you, dear.
48
00:03:30,478 --> 00:03:32,808
I need you to pretend that you're with me.
49
00:03:32,846 --> 00:03:34,716
See that woman over there?
50
00:03:34,748 --> 00:03:36,918
Don't look!
51
00:03:36,950 --> 00:03:41,790
She's my ex, and I can't be seen alone.
52
00:03:41,822 --> 00:03:43,662
Yeah no, if you don't mind.
53
00:03:43,691 --> 00:03:44,491
Thanks, I owe you.
54
00:03:44,525 --> 00:03:46,855
Let me buy you a slice of apple pie.
55
00:03:46,894 --> 00:03:50,340
This place has the best
apple pie on the west side.
56
00:03:50,630 --> 00:03:50,933
All right, nice try.
57
00:03:50,964 --> 00:03:53,534
I'm sure this works for you all the time.
58
00:03:53,567 --> 00:03:55,440
But I'm really not interested, alright?
59
00:03:55,680 --> 00:03:57,838
I just want Tobe left alone.
60
00:03:57,871 --> 00:03:59,771
Jack?
61
00:03:59,807 --> 00:04:00,907
Meagan.
62
00:04:05,913 --> 00:04:07,483
How have you been?
63
00:04:08,582 --> 00:04:09,982
Ah, great.
64
00:04:10,170 --> 00:04:11,747
Things are goin' great.
65
00:04:11,785 --> 00:04:14,955
Aw, you don't have to lie to me, Jacky.
66
00:04:14,988 --> 00:04:17,358
I heard you were going
through a rough time.
67
00:04:17,391 --> 00:04:19,331
Just be positive.
68
00:04:19,360 --> 00:04:21,900
Jack, this is Arnold, my husband.
69
00:04:21,929 --> 00:04:23,290
Hey.
70
00:04:23,630 --> 00:04:25,703
Wow, uhh...
71
00:04:25,733 --> 00:04:27,703
Congratulations.
72
00:04:27,735 --> 00:04:30,895
If at first you don't succeed,
you get a bigger ring.
73
00:04:30,938 --> 00:04:32,938
Arnold is an entertainment lawyer.
74
00:04:32,973 --> 00:04:34,743
He does very well for himself.
75
00:04:36,109 --> 00:04:38,409
Well. aren't you going to introduce
76
00:04:38,446 --> 00:04:40,746
me to your little friend?
77
00:04:42,350 --> 00:04:44,750
♪
78
00:04:44,785 --> 00:04:46,285
Actually...
79
00:04:47,755 --> 00:04:51,285
I'm Maria, Jack's fiancé.
80
00:04:53,126 --> 00:04:57,666
Wow, if at first you don't succeed.
81
00:04:57,698 --> 00:04:59,898
I guess things are going
better for you, Jack.
82
00:04:59,933 --> 00:05:01,343
Yeah.
83
00:05:01,369 --> 00:05:03,739
I'm Meagan, Jack's ex wife.
84
00:05:04,972 --> 00:05:07,712
You never told me you were ever married.
85
00:05:07,741 --> 00:05:09,511
We've been going together for three months
86
00:05:09,543 --> 00:05:11,983
and he's never mentioned you.
87
00:05:12,120 --> 00:05:15,682
You are lucky you are so incredibly sexy.
88
00:05:16,717 --> 00:05:17,717
Ow!
89
00:05:18,510 --> 00:05:20,210
Well, we should get going.
90
00:05:20,530 --> 00:05:21,663
It was nice meeting you.
91
00:05:21,689 --> 00:05:22,619
Bye Jack.
92
00:05:22,656 --> 00:05:23,816
Bye Meagan.
93
00:05:24,925 --> 00:05:26,250
Come on.
94
00:05:27,528 --> 00:05:29,580
Great seeing you again!
95
00:05:29,897 --> 00:05:31,567
Could you stare any harder?
96
00:05:31,599 --> 00:05:32,729
Seriously.
97
00:05:34,968 --> 00:05:36,838
Thank you for that.
98
00:05:37,471 --> 00:05:39,641
Ahh, she deserved it.
99
00:05:39,673 --> 00:05:40,713
Yeah.
100
00:05:40,741 --> 00:05:42,410
Yeah, she kinda did.
101
00:05:43,143 --> 00:05:46,953
Uhh, now can I buy you that apple pie?
102
00:05:46,980 --> 00:05:49,150
Uh, I should get going.
103
00:05:49,182 --> 00:05:50,782
You can call your fiancé.
104
00:05:50,818 --> 00:05:52,948
I'll buy him a slice too.
105
00:05:53,821 --> 00:05:56,461
Come on huh, it's the least I could do.
106
00:05:56,490 --> 00:05:59,860
I-I'm leaving the country in what...
107
00:05:59,893 --> 00:06:01,433
Less than six hours.
108
00:06:01,462 --> 00:06:03,632
This is my only chance to repay you.
109
00:06:05,980 --> 00:06:06,980
Look.
110
00:06:06,500 --> 00:06:07,640
(tapping)
111
00:06:07,668 --> 00:06:08,838
One way.
112
00:06:08,869 --> 00:06:10,739
Why, one way?
113
00:06:10,771 --> 00:06:12,471
You're kind of nosey, huh?
114
00:06:14,700 --> 00:06:15,700
(scoffs)
115
00:06:16,944 --> 00:06:17,984
Okay.
116
00:06:24,985 --> 00:06:25,985
A fresh start.
117
00:06:26,520 --> 00:06:28,560
How long has it been?
118
00:06:28,589 --> 00:06:29,989
Two years.
119
00:06:30,230 --> 00:06:33,493
And two years married, two years divorced.
120
00:06:33,527 --> 00:06:37,767
She uhh, she left when the goin' got tough.
121
00:06:37,798 --> 00:06:40,680
But she's not the reason I'm leaving.
122
00:06:40,100 --> 00:06:43,200
After looking for work for a while
123
00:06:43,236 --> 00:06:46,606
I finally landed a two
year contract, in London.
124
00:06:46,640 --> 00:06:47,540
I'm a writer.
125
00:06:47,575 --> 00:06:48,705
Oh, yeah?
126
00:06:48,742 --> 00:06:50,582
Are you a novelist?
127
00:06:50,611 --> 00:06:51,611
No.
128
00:06:52,546 --> 00:06:53,676
A journalist?
129
00:06:53,714 --> 00:06:54,714
Nope.
130
00:06:55,516 --> 00:06:57,176
You write for the movies, don't you?
131
00:06:57,217 --> 00:06:58,147
Uh uh.
132
00:06:58,185 --> 00:06:59,715
I write sitcoms.
133
00:07:00,854 --> 00:07:01,854
Oh.
134
00:07:02,656 --> 00:07:05,260
Jesus, you look more
disappointed than my father.
135
00:07:05,580 --> 00:07:06,128
Oh no.
136
00:07:06,159 --> 00:07:06,989
Sorry.
137
00:07:07,270 --> 00:07:08,457
I didn't mean to.
138
00:07:08,496 --> 00:07:10,556
Do you remember the show "My Two Dicks"?
139
00:07:10,598 --> 00:07:14,980
A family comedy about a mother
and her two detective sons,
140
00:07:14,602 --> 00:07:16,642
Lasted twelve episodes four years ago.
141
00:07:19,720 --> 00:07:21,512
I'm afraid I'm not familiar.
142
00:07:21,542 --> 00:07:23,142
Ah, don't sweat it.
143
00:07:23,176 --> 00:07:25,506
Neither was anybody else.
144
00:07:26,460 --> 00:07:27,916
"My Two Dicks" sucked.
145
00:07:27,948 --> 00:07:30,948
♪
146
00:07:30,984 --> 00:07:33,594
That's not what you said
when you picked me up
147
00:07:33,621 --> 00:07:34,921
at the diner that night!
148
00:07:34,955 --> 00:07:36,215
I picked you up?!
149
00:07:36,256 --> 00:07:38,726
I'm pretty sure it was
the other way around.
150
00:07:38,759 --> 00:07:40,629
I was the damsel in distress.
151
00:07:40,661 --> 00:07:42,531
Mmm, maybe.
152
00:07:45,933 --> 00:07:48,903
I had a really good time tonight, Jack.
153
00:07:48,936 --> 00:07:51,136
Good, I'm glad somebody did.
154
00:07:51,171 --> 00:07:53,941
The whole evening was pretty
touch and go for me so.
155
00:07:53,974 --> 00:07:55,814
Are you ever serious?
156
00:07:55,843 --> 00:07:59,953
I tried it once, but it just didn't take.
157
00:07:59,980 --> 00:08:02,480
So uhh, it was worth it?
158
00:08:03,851 --> 00:08:04,891
Yeah, maybe.
159
00:08:04,918 --> 00:08:09,118
♪
160
00:08:09,156 --> 00:08:10,856
Good night, Jack.
161
00:08:15,896 --> 00:08:17,626
Uhh, wait.
162
00:08:18,165 --> 00:08:21,125
Do you need me to come up
and you know, fix anything?
163
00:08:21,168 --> 00:08:22,598
Nothing's broken.
164
00:08:22,636 --> 00:08:24,360
I could help you watch tv?
165
00:08:24,710 --> 00:08:25,841
I've got twenty-twenty vision, right here.
166
00:08:25,873 --> 00:08:27,273
Be a shame to waste it.
167
00:08:27,307 --> 00:08:28,277
Goodnight, Jack.
168
00:08:28,308 --> 00:08:34,308
♪
169
00:08:34,347 --> 00:08:36,517
You've got Tobe kidding me?
170
00:08:37,585 --> 00:08:38,815
I kid you not.
171
00:08:38,852 --> 00:08:41,152
Six-years-old and he
says to me, Miss Moniz,
172
00:08:41,188 --> 00:08:43,818
this is the worst day of
education in my life!
173
00:08:43,857 --> 00:08:45,727
And he storms out of my classroom.
174
00:08:45,759 --> 00:08:50,299
(laughing)
175
00:08:50,330 --> 00:08:52,870
I'm glad you stayed for pie.
176
00:08:53,660 --> 00:08:54,660
Me too.
177
00:08:55,335 --> 00:08:57,195
Umm.
178
00:08:57,237 --> 00:08:58,267
Can I uhh...
179
00:08:58,305 --> 00:09:00,105
Can I ask you something?
180
00:09:00,307 --> 00:09:01,977
You can try.
181
00:09:02,643 --> 00:09:06,613
Well, when I first walked in
here, umm, you were crying.
182
00:09:09,490 --> 00:09:10,279
I wasn't crying.
183
00:09:12,352 --> 00:09:13,622
(sigh)
184
00:09:13,654 --> 00:09:16,224
I have a little confession to make.
185
00:09:16,256 --> 00:09:19,860
I'm not really engaged anymore.
186
00:09:19,126 --> 00:09:20,926
I just broke up with my fiancé
187
00:09:20,961 --> 00:09:24,100
and I just, I haven't given
him back the ring yet.
188
00:09:24,310 --> 00:09:26,801
I know, I know, I'm a horrible person.
189
00:09:26,834 --> 00:09:28,244
You're not a horrible person, okay.
190
00:09:28,268 --> 00:09:30,638
You're my hero.
191
00:09:30,671 --> 00:09:34,741
I guess I was just kind a
holding on to the past.
192
00:09:34,775 --> 00:09:37,750
If that makes any sense to you?
193
00:09:37,110 --> 00:09:39,210
It's perfect sense.
194
00:09:39,246 --> 00:09:42,646
It's like the moment you
break-up with someone,
195
00:09:42,683 --> 00:09:45,293
this movie of all the good
times plays over and over
196
00:09:45,318 --> 00:09:48,718
in your head, and the bad times,
197
00:09:48,756 --> 00:09:50,986
they just fade away until
you can't remember
198
00:09:51,240 --> 00:09:52,734
what the problem was.
199
00:09:53,360 --> 00:09:55,630
That's why I started
recording negative moments
200
00:09:55,663 --> 00:09:58,730
of all my relationships
so I wouldn't forget.
201
00:10:00,233 --> 00:10:02,773
You do not!
202
00:10:05,105 --> 00:10:06,105
You do.
203
00:10:06,139 --> 00:10:07,369
I don't, no I don't.
204
00:10:07,407 --> 00:10:08,877
(chuckling)
205
00:10:08,909 --> 00:10:13,379
Ah, okay.
206
00:10:15,282 --> 00:10:17,282
Jack: Oh, come on gimmie a smile, Megs.
207
00:10:17,317 --> 00:10:20,187
Here's a clip of Meagan
rolling her eyes at me.
208
00:10:20,220 --> 00:10:22,200
That's like her signature move.
209
00:10:22,550 --> 00:10:24,855
As if I just said the
world's stupidest thing.
210
00:10:24,892 --> 00:10:26,262
See.
211
00:10:26,293 --> 00:10:30,733
And ah, here's a clip
of April taking an hour
212
00:10:30,764 --> 00:10:33,904
to put on her make up, that's
me sitting on the couch,
213
00:10:33,934 --> 00:10:36,304
look how pissed I look.
214
00:10:36,336 --> 00:10:39,600
And um, oh.
215
00:10:39,773 --> 00:10:43,130
This is one of Alexis,
now Alexis was a vegan,
216
00:10:43,430 --> 00:10:45,183
which in itself didn't bother me.
217
00:10:45,212 --> 00:10:47,822
However vegetables always made her a little
218
00:10:47,848 --> 00:10:48,218
(farting noise)
219
00:10:48,248 --> 00:10:48,978
Oh.
220
00:10:49,160 --> 00:10:52,346
(laughing)
221
00:10:52,385 --> 00:10:56,785
I know it sounds nuts, but I
bet you wish you had some,
222
00:10:56,824 --> 00:10:59,834
you know, video of your ex
pickin' his nose or something.
223
00:10:59,860 --> 00:11:01,130
No.
224
00:11:04,264 --> 00:11:06,304
More like clearing his throat.
225
00:11:06,333 --> 00:11:07,903
Ah ha!
226
00:11:07,935 --> 00:11:09,695
You mean like uhh, like uhh,
227
00:11:09,737 --> 00:11:10,337
Ahem?
228
00:11:10,370 --> 00:11:11,440
No, more like.
229
00:11:11,471 --> 00:11:12,741
(deep raspy grunt)
230
00:11:12,773 --> 00:11:13,443
(scratchy grunt)
231
00:11:13,473 --> 00:11:15,243
No, no with more throat, like.
232
00:11:15,275 --> 00:11:16,775
(hoarse grunting)
233
00:11:16,810 --> 00:11:18,110
Oh my god, that's annoying.
234
00:11:18,145 --> 00:11:19,450
Isn't it?!
235
00:11:19,790 --> 00:11:22,719
(laughing)
236
00:11:23,817 --> 00:11:26,147
You are something else, Jack...
237
00:11:26,419 --> 00:11:27,889
Ratner.
238
00:11:27,921 --> 00:11:28,921
Jack Ratner.
239
00:11:29,990 --> 00:11:31,120
Maria Moniz.
240
00:11:31,158 --> 00:11:35,858
♪
241
00:11:35,896 --> 00:11:38,126
That is the real reason
242
00:11:38,165 --> 00:11:41,225
I don't believe in long-term relationships.
243
00:11:41,268 --> 00:11:42,938
No more firsts.
244
00:11:42,970 --> 00:11:45,740
Like they get used up.
245
00:11:45,773 --> 00:11:48,383
I mean that was the first time
we've ever touched hands.
246
00:11:48,408 --> 00:11:52,800
It'll never happen again
that you know, that feeling.
247
00:11:53,480 --> 00:11:57,120
Once all the firsts are gone,
hey what are you left with?
248
00:11:58,510 --> 00:12:05,391
♪
249
00:12:05,425 --> 00:12:07,925
I don't know what you just said.
250
00:12:07,961 --> 00:12:09,961
But I loved the way you said it.
251
00:12:09,997 --> 00:12:14,297
♪
252
00:12:14,334 --> 00:12:16,504
Mmmmm.
253
00:12:16,536 --> 00:12:18,306
(speaking in Portuguese)
254
00:12:18,338 --> 00:12:19,238
What?
255
00:12:19,272 --> 00:12:20,772
You have to stop.
256
00:12:20,808 --> 00:12:22,538
Even being rejected in Portuguese is hot.
257
00:12:22,575 --> 00:12:25,245
(moaning)
258
00:12:25,278 --> 00:12:28,180
Jack, I have to go.
259
00:12:28,480 --> 00:12:31,480
Unlike you I have to be at
work early in the morning.
260
00:12:31,551 --> 00:12:32,891
Jack.
261
00:12:32,920 --> 00:12:34,220
Jack, off.
262
00:12:35,288 --> 00:12:36,158
Not until you're gone.
263
00:12:36,189 --> 00:12:38,529
It might be awkward with you in the room.
264
00:12:38,558 --> 00:12:39,828
You're so crude.
265
00:12:39,860 --> 00:12:41,190
(chuckles)
266
00:12:41,228 --> 00:12:45,398
Mmmm,
267
00:12:45,432 --> 00:12:46,472
Stay over tonight.
268
00:12:46,499 --> 00:12:48,239
Please.
269
00:12:48,268 --> 00:12:50,680
Why?
270
00:12:50,103 --> 00:12:52,113
"A" I live closer to your school.
271
00:12:52,139 --> 00:12:55,939
"B" I make killer waffles in the morning.
272
00:12:55,976 --> 00:12:59,876
And "C" I'll pay you a thousand dollars.
273
00:12:59,913 --> 00:13:02,283
"D" all of the above?
274
00:13:02,315 --> 00:13:04,275
(laughing)
275
00:13:04,317 --> 00:13:07,517
Mmmmmmm.
276
00:13:07,554 --> 00:13:10,824
That was the best apple pie I've ever had.
277
00:13:10,858 --> 00:13:11,418
Really?
278
00:13:11,458 --> 00:13:12,488
Cause I wouldn't know.
279
00:13:12,525 --> 00:13:14,850
You kind of ate it all.
280
00:13:14,127 --> 00:13:15,970
I did not!
281
00:13:15,128 --> 00:13:17,358
I even left you the last piece.
282
00:13:17,397 --> 00:13:20,527
This here?
283
00:13:20,567 --> 00:13:23,537
Anyway, everything was planned.
284
00:13:23,570 --> 00:13:26,400
Children, moving to the suburbs.
285
00:13:26,730 --> 00:13:29,830
My dad was devastated when
he found out we broke up.
286
00:13:29,109 --> 00:13:31,579
But the worst part was
that we lived together.
287
00:13:31,611 --> 00:13:34,151
I'll never make that mistake again.
288
00:13:34,181 --> 00:13:36,351
I like my own place to much.
289
00:13:36,383 --> 00:13:38,353
What, you don't want a family?
290
00:13:38,385 --> 00:13:39,445
Children?
291
00:13:39,486 --> 00:13:41,116
Marriage is not for me.
292
00:13:41,154 --> 00:13:43,364
I can't picture myself behind
the white picket fence
293
00:13:43,390 --> 00:13:45,360
playing catch with Jack junior.
294
00:13:45,392 --> 00:13:48,232
So you have no problems
growing old and dying alone?
295
00:13:48,261 --> 00:13:49,861
Having the neighbors notify the police
296
00:13:49,897 --> 00:13:51,967
about the awful stench
of your rotting corpse.
297
00:13:51,999 --> 00:13:53,969
Jesus Christ, when you put it that way.
298
00:13:54,100 --> 00:13:55,100
You shouldn't say that.
299
00:13:55,350 --> 00:13:55,965
Say, what?
300
00:13:56,300 --> 00:13:58,173
Use God's name like that.
301
00:13:58,205 --> 00:14:00,635
Oh, you're one of those.
302
00:14:00,673 --> 00:14:02,130
I noticed the cross.
303
00:14:02,420 --> 00:14:04,212
Just thought it might be for decoration.
304
00:14:04,244 --> 00:14:06,554
What do you mean, "one of those"?
305
00:14:06,579 --> 00:14:08,449
You don't believe in God??
306
00:14:08,481 --> 00:14:10,921
Umm, not so much.
307
00:14:10,951 --> 00:14:12,228
Though, after skimming the bible,
308
00:14:12,252 --> 00:14:14,520
I've gotta give Joe and Mary props
309
00:14:14,870 --> 00:14:16,417
for selling the whole
immaculate conception thing.
310
00:14:16,456 --> 00:14:17,656
It's brilliant.
311
00:14:17,690 --> 00:14:21,930
Nowadays, compromising Facebook
photos would have sunk her.
312
00:14:21,962 --> 00:14:23,232
That isn't funny.
313
00:14:24,397 --> 00:14:27,467
So if you don't believe in
God then who do you pray to?
314
00:14:27,500 --> 00:14:28,470
Tom Brady.
315
00:14:28,501 --> 00:14:31,911
But only if it's late
in the fourth quarter.
316
00:14:31,939 --> 00:14:33,509
I don't believe you.
317
00:14:33,540 --> 00:14:36,510
Trust me, when something
life changing happens,
318
00:14:36,543 --> 00:14:38,153
you'll be praying.
319
00:14:38,178 --> 00:14:39,608
Okay, no way, not me.
320
00:14:39,646 --> 00:14:43,576
I may be a lot of things,
but I'm not a hypocrite.
321
00:14:43,616 --> 00:14:45,946
(train passes in the distance)
322
00:14:45,986 --> 00:14:50,216
(yawning)
323
00:14:50,257 --> 00:14:51,357
Hey.
324
00:14:51,391 --> 00:14:52,661
Morning.
325
00:14:52,692 --> 00:14:54,492
Do you want some fruit for breakfast?
326
00:14:54,527 --> 00:14:57,327
Do you have any idea how
much sugar's in that stuff?
327
00:15:01,534 --> 00:15:04,244
You were snoring again last night.
328
00:15:04,271 --> 00:15:05,671
I don't snore.
329
00:15:05,705 --> 00:15:07,265
It's like sleeping with Darth Vader.
330
00:15:07,307 --> 00:15:10,770
I'll make a video clip
and add it to your file.
331
00:15:10,110 --> 00:15:13,410
(cereal pours)
332
00:15:13,446 --> 00:15:15,346
Hey.
333
00:15:16,984 --> 00:15:18,324
Hey, you okay?
334
00:15:18,351 --> 00:15:19,451
What's wrong?
335
00:15:19,652 --> 00:15:20,652
Nothing.
336
00:15:22,289 --> 00:15:23,719
It's stupid.
337
00:15:23,756 --> 00:15:27,260
Well lucky for you I
specialize in stupidity
338
00:15:27,600 --> 00:15:29,130
and have a Ph.D. in nothing.
339
00:15:29,162 --> 00:15:31,662
So technically, I'm overqualified
for this conversation.
340
00:15:35,200 --> 00:15:37,720
Well uhh,
341
00:15:38,338 --> 00:15:41,108
You know when you feel like
you've reached a point
342
00:15:41,141 --> 00:15:42,981
where you're finally living out your life
343
00:15:43,100 --> 00:15:45,180
and not other peoples expectations?
344
00:15:46,579 --> 00:15:47,509
Well...
345
00:15:47,547 --> 00:15:49,677
Now that I'm not splitting
the rent anymore,
346
00:15:49,716 --> 00:15:52,146
I can't afford my place so...
347
00:15:54,354 --> 00:15:56,964
I'm gonna have to move
back in with my parents.
348
00:16:03,463 --> 00:16:06,333
Well umm, you know uhh,
349
00:16:07,400 --> 00:16:09,400
Maybe you could move in here you know,
350
00:16:09,436 --> 00:16:12,306
for a little while until
you find another place.
351
00:16:12,339 --> 00:16:14,269
Jack, you'd be okay with that?
352
00:16:14,307 --> 00:16:15,277
Yeah, sure.
353
00:16:15,308 --> 00:16:17,608
I'm mean you're practically
living here anyway.
354
00:16:17,644 --> 00:16:18,454
What's a week?
355
00:16:18,478 --> 00:16:20,678
Oh baby!
356
00:16:20,713 --> 00:16:21,783
Thank you!
357
00:16:21,814 --> 00:16:25,354
Oh baby I promise you won't
even know that I'm here.
358
00:16:25,385 --> 00:16:26,215
Oh god.
359
00:16:26,253 --> 00:16:29,563
Thank you.
360
00:16:29,589 --> 00:16:30,589
Oh, that's great.
361
00:16:32,259 --> 00:16:40,259
♪
362
00:16:42,302 --> 00:16:50,242
♪
363
00:16:50,277 --> 00:16:51,737
Oh my god.
364
00:16:51,778 --> 00:16:52,778
You like?
365
00:16:53,813 --> 00:16:56,153
I feel like I just got
violated by Pottery Barn.
366
00:16:56,183 --> 00:16:57,523
Oh, you hate it?
367
00:16:57,550 --> 00:16:58,650
No, no.
368
00:16:58,685 --> 00:17:01,385
It's just different that's all.
369
00:17:01,421 --> 00:17:03,661
Kinda looks like your place did.
370
00:17:03,690 --> 00:17:06,490
Yeah, I just brought a few
of my furniture pieces in.
371
00:17:06,526 --> 00:17:07,786
I hope you don't mind?
372
00:17:08,261 --> 00:17:09,310
Wow.
373
00:17:09,620 --> 00:17:11,302
That's uhh, that's a big cross.
374
00:17:11,698 --> 00:17:13,528
It'll protect us from the evil eye.
375
00:17:13,566 --> 00:17:14,666
(dog panting)
376
00:17:14,701 --> 00:17:15,501
Ohh.
377
00:17:15,535 --> 00:17:17,195
(dog barking)
378
00:17:17,237 --> 00:17:19,437
I didn't know Mr. Bojangles
would be joining us.
379
00:17:19,472 --> 00:17:22,412
Awe, where did you think
he'd be staying, silly?
380
00:17:22,442 --> 00:17:26,852
Eh, eh, good boy, good boy.
381
00:17:26,879 --> 00:17:30,649
♪
382
00:17:30,683 --> 00:17:31,753
Eh.
383
00:17:31,784 --> 00:17:33,494
(dog whining)
384
00:17:33,520 --> 00:17:40,760
(dog barking)
385
00:17:41,361 --> 00:17:49,361
(Maria snoring)
386
00:17:51,404 --> 00:17:58,354
(Maria snoring)
387
00:17:58,378 --> 00:18:00,748
♪
388
00:18:00,780 --> 00:18:03,520
(Maria continues snoring)
389
00:18:03,550 --> 00:18:06,220
♪ Ou-ou-ou-ou-ou-ouuu ♪
390
00:18:06,253 --> 00:18:08,293
♪ Ou-ou-ou-ou-ou-ouuu ♪
391
00:18:08,321 --> 00:18:11,691
♪ You got-got me, you got-got me stuck ♪
392
00:18:12,925 --> 00:18:16,855
♪ Cause you got-got that,
you got-got that touch ♪
393
00:18:18,265 --> 00:18:20,295
♪ You got me stuck like glue ♪
394
00:18:20,333 --> 00:18:22,873
♪ Like gum to the bottom of my shoe ♪
395
00:18:22,902 --> 00:18:25,142
♪ I can't stop thinkin' bout you-ouu ♪
396
00:18:25,172 --> 00:18:27,342
Awwww! Shit!
397
00:18:27,374 --> 00:18:29,314
I think you broke it!
398
00:18:29,342 --> 00:18:32,882
I'm so sorry.
399
00:18:32,912 --> 00:18:36,352
♪ That kiss girl, how can I forge-ee-et? ♪
400
00:18:36,383 --> 00:18:38,923
(dog growling)
401
00:18:38,951 --> 00:18:45,461
♪ Underneath the stars,
we'll never be apart ♪
402
00:18:45,492 --> 00:18:49,732
♪ No matter where you are, you got me ♪
403
00:18:49,762 --> 00:18:54,502
♪ You got-got me, you
got-got me stuck (woah) ♪
404
00:18:54,534 --> 00:18:59,644
♪ Cause you got-got that, you
got-got that touch (woah) ♪
405
00:18:59,672 --> 00:19:04,642
♪ Rain or shine, I don't care
I'm not going anywhere ♪
406
00:19:04,677 --> 00:19:10,547
♪ Cause you got-got me, you
got-got me stuck on you babe ♪
407
00:19:10,583 --> 00:19:11,783
♪ Ou-ou-ou-ou-ou-ouuu ♪
408
00:19:11,818 --> 00:19:13,148
Maria?
409
00:19:16,689 --> 00:19:18,289
Jesus Christ!
410
00:19:18,325 --> 00:19:19,555
Shhh.
411
00:19:21,361 --> 00:19:24,931
♪ Rain or shine, I don't care,
I'm not going anywhere ♪
412
00:19:24,964 --> 00:19:27,704
(praying)
413
00:19:27,734 --> 00:19:29,374
I am a rational person.
414
00:19:29,402 --> 00:19:30,502
Rational, huh?
415
00:19:30,537 --> 00:19:32,715
Is that why I saw you throwing
salt over your shoulder?
416
00:19:32,739 --> 00:19:34,917
Don't tell me you're one of
those superstitious freaks?
417
00:19:34,941 --> 00:19:36,811
It's not a superstition if it works.
418
00:19:36,843 --> 00:19:37,843
Ah-ha.
419
00:19:37,877 --> 00:19:39,577
The truth finally comes out.
420
00:19:39,612 --> 00:19:40,652
You're crazy.
421
00:19:40,680 --> 00:19:42,880
Don't call me crazy.
422
00:19:42,915 --> 00:19:45,845
Señora Maria says it's
better safe than sorry.
423
00:19:45,885 --> 00:19:48,515
Who's Señora Maria?
424
00:19:48,555 --> 00:19:51,585
Just someone who advises me.
425
00:19:51,624 --> 00:19:53,764
Like a... Like a therapist?
426
00:19:53,793 --> 00:19:56,263
Yeah, like a therapist.
427
00:19:56,296 --> 00:20:04,296
♪
428
00:20:06,339 --> 00:20:14,339
♪
429
00:20:16,383 --> 00:20:24,383
♪
430
00:20:29,429 --> 00:20:30,659
Hey, babe, how was your...
431
00:20:30,697 --> 00:20:34,697
Quick, get me a lighter!!
432
00:20:34,734 --> 00:20:37,374
♪
433
00:20:37,404 --> 00:20:39,474
What is it?
434
00:20:39,506 --> 00:20:41,466
I think some woman at the grocery store
435
00:20:41,508 --> 00:20:43,408
gave me the evil eye.
436
00:20:43,443 --> 00:20:44,583
Huh?
437
00:20:45,770 --> 00:20:46,547
Here we go.
438
00:20:46,779 --> 00:20:47,779
What is that?
439
00:20:48,448 --> 00:20:50,448
Sage.
440
00:20:50,483 --> 00:20:55,593
♪
441
00:20:55,622 --> 00:20:56,622
Oh no.
442
00:20:56,656 --> 00:20:59,556
I might have already
infected the entire place.
443
00:20:59,592 --> 00:21:02,462
Wait, what the hell's evil eye?
444
00:21:02,495 --> 00:21:05,765
It's when someone curses you
and gives you really bad luck.
445
00:21:05,798 --> 00:21:07,498
Sometimes people do it
446
00:21:07,534 --> 00:21:09,644
and they don't even
realize they're doing it.
447
00:21:11,700 --> 00:21:14,510
Come on Maria, don't tell me
you really believe in that?
448
00:21:14,541 --> 00:21:17,511
♪
449
00:21:17,544 --> 00:21:19,714
(spits lightly)
450
00:21:20,447 --> 00:21:21,647
Apparently so.
451
00:21:21,881 --> 00:21:22,921
That should work.
452
00:21:22,949 --> 00:21:24,590
Don't worry, I'll see Señora Maria
453
00:21:24,830 --> 00:21:26,530
and make sure that we're in the clear.
454
00:21:26,850 --> 00:21:27,585
Maria, this is insane.
455
00:21:27,620 --> 00:21:29,390
Nobody can just give you bad luck.
456
00:21:29,422 --> 00:21:31,462
That's just a Portuguese old wives tale.
457
00:21:31,491 --> 00:21:33,661
The evil eye does not exist!
458
00:21:33,693 --> 00:21:36,533
Do you have any idea how
foolish you sound right now?
459
00:21:36,563 --> 00:21:39,733
♪
460
00:21:39,766 --> 00:21:47,766
(heavy breathing)
461
00:21:47,940 --> 00:21:52,650
Jack, this is your father.
462
00:21:52,679 --> 00:21:54,749
He's actually on oxygen, it's kinda sad.
463
00:21:54,781 --> 00:21:55,681
Oww.
464
00:21:55,715 --> 00:21:56,915
No he's not.
465
00:21:56,949 --> 00:21:58,989
(heavy breathing)
466
00:21:59,180 --> 00:22:02,958
Your sitcom writing is
weak and career dubious.
467
00:22:02,989 --> 00:22:05,759
Come work for me at Ratner Investments
468
00:22:05,792 --> 00:22:06,962
and together we shall...
469
00:22:06,993 --> 00:22:09,933
(heavy breath)
470
00:22:09,962 --> 00:22:11,832
make something of you.
471
00:22:12,765 --> 00:22:15,365
That's your dad's idea
of success, not yours.
472
00:22:15,402 --> 00:22:16,402
Mhmmm.
473
00:22:16,703 --> 00:22:19,513
You are wise Portuguese one.
474
00:22:20,707 --> 00:22:23,377
So what about the rest of your family?
475
00:22:23,410 --> 00:22:24,100
Brothers?
476
00:22:24,430 --> 00:22:25,653
Sisters?
477
00:22:25,678 --> 00:22:27,408
None.
478
00:22:27,447 --> 00:22:28,677
Cousins?
479
00:22:28,715 --> 00:22:29,375
Grandparents?
480
00:22:29,416 --> 00:22:29,776
Aunts?
481
00:22:29,816 --> 00:22:31,376
Uncles?
482
00:22:31,418 --> 00:22:34,488
One Uncle, but I'm pretty
sure he's in prison.
483
00:22:34,521 --> 00:22:37,691
Oh, Jack that's...
484
00:22:38,570 --> 00:22:39,587
Wonderful.
485
00:22:39,626 --> 00:22:41,956
Having as mall family.
486
00:22:41,994 --> 00:22:44,434
Mine can be overwhelming.
487
00:22:44,464 --> 00:22:46,604
I'd much rather have a big colorful family
488
00:22:46,633 --> 00:22:48,330
than a bland one any day.
489
00:22:48,670 --> 00:22:56,670
♪
490
00:23:00,647 --> 00:23:01,647
Okay.
491
00:23:07,520 --> 00:23:08,520
Relax.
492
00:23:09,155 --> 00:23:10,850
Ok.
493
00:23:10,122 --> 00:23:12,620
♪
494
00:23:12,910 --> 00:23:14,661
Oh, no, we don't use the front door!
495
00:23:14,694 --> 00:23:15,804
We use the back door.
496
00:23:15,828 --> 00:23:17,580
Okay.
497
00:23:17,960 --> 00:23:19,260
Now, don't be nervous, Jack.
498
00:23:19,650 --> 00:23:20,950
I'm not.
499
00:23:20,132 --> 00:23:21,702
I just want you to know,
500
00:23:21,734 --> 00:23:23,474
how important first impressions are.
501
00:23:23,503 --> 00:23:25,430
Hey, don't worry, parents love me.
502
00:23:25,710 --> 00:23:26,911
I'm like cat nip for old people.
503
00:23:26,939 --> 00:23:28,909
Oh and please don't try and be funny.
504
00:23:28,941 --> 00:23:30,981
And don't tell my parents
that you're divorced,
505
00:23:31,100 --> 00:23:34,680
or that you're an atheist or
that you're in between jobs.
506
00:23:34,714 --> 00:23:36,840
Okay?
507
00:23:36,115 --> 00:23:37,345
Anything else?
508
00:23:37,383 --> 00:23:42,123
Oh, and your grandfather on your
mom's side was part Portuguese.
509
00:23:42,154 --> 00:23:43,154
Ok?
510
00:23:44,857 --> 00:23:47,527
All: Hey!
511
00:23:47,560 --> 00:23:48,930
There's my beautiful daughter.
512
00:23:48,961 --> 00:23:52,131
Querida, two Sundays I don't see you.
513
00:23:52,164 --> 00:23:55,574
Where have you been
hiding, my little badger?
514
00:23:55,935 --> 00:24:00,650
Mom, Dad, this is Jack my boyfriend.
515
00:24:13,285 --> 00:24:15,215
He's pleased to meet you.
516
00:24:15,955 --> 00:24:17,185
Lets go.
517
00:24:17,223 --> 00:24:24,733
♪
518
00:24:24,764 --> 00:24:26,574
This looks delicious.
519
00:24:28,668 --> 00:24:29,668
What is it?
520
00:24:29,969 --> 00:24:30,969
Cozido.
521
00:24:39,746 --> 00:24:40,846
Pigs feet.
522
00:24:41,113 --> 00:24:46,553
(laughing)
523
00:24:46,586 --> 00:24:47,586
Thanks.
524
00:24:53,760 --> 00:24:55,560
I can't believe you ate that, dude.
525
00:24:55,595 --> 00:24:56,655
There's pizza.
526
00:24:57,163 --> 00:24:59,603
(laughing)
527
00:25:07,206 --> 00:25:08,576
Thank you.
528
00:25:08,608 --> 00:25:16,608
♪
529
00:25:18,651 --> 00:25:26,651
♪
530
00:25:28,695 --> 00:25:36,695
♪
531
00:25:38,671 --> 00:25:46,671
♪
532
00:25:48,715 --> 00:25:56,715
♪
533
00:25:59,250 --> 00:26:00,125
Have some rice pudding.
534
00:26:00,727 --> 00:26:01,787
I will.
535
00:26:04,964 --> 00:26:05,734
Ow!
536
00:26:05,765 --> 00:26:06,765
(bang)
537
00:26:10,360 --> 00:26:11,360
Where's Mr. Moniz?
538
00:26:12,271 --> 00:26:14,341
Ah, he's probably in the house.
539
00:26:14,373 --> 00:26:16,383
Go talk to him, Jack.
540
00:26:16,408 --> 00:26:19,748
He gets nervous with new people.
541
00:26:19,779 --> 00:26:22,749
I can tell by the way she looks at you,
542
00:26:22,782 --> 00:26:25,220
you have won my daughter over.
543
00:26:34,794 --> 00:26:36,134
Thanks, mom.
544
00:26:36,162 --> 00:26:44,162
♪
545
00:26:46,205 --> 00:26:54,205
♪
546
00:26:56,248 --> 00:27:04,248
♪
547
00:27:07,126 --> 00:27:10,226
I bet you don't get too many
vampires down here, huh?
548
00:27:10,262 --> 00:27:11,932
Because of the uhh...
549
00:27:15,735 --> 00:27:17,795
So, I hear your a big football fan?
550
00:27:17,837 --> 00:27:19,307
So am I.
551
00:27:19,338 --> 00:27:20,268
Who's your team?
552
00:27:20,306 --> 00:27:22,336
Stay away from Maria.
553
00:27:22,374 --> 00:27:24,784
Can't say I'm familiar with them.
554
00:27:24,811 --> 00:27:26,981
Although I imagine their
logo is just a picture
555
00:27:27,130 --> 00:27:28,253
of you looking angry.
556
00:27:30,717 --> 00:27:31,877
Kind of like that.
557
00:27:31,918 --> 00:27:32,988
You make jokes.
558
00:27:33,190 --> 00:27:34,189
Jokes aren't funny!
559
00:27:34,486 --> 00:27:36,686
Jokes won't make my daughter happy!
560
00:27:36,723 --> 00:27:41,163
With all do respect, sir, I
do make your daughter happy.
561
00:27:41,193 --> 00:27:43,363
I mean, I think I do.
562
00:27:43,395 --> 00:27:45,795
And I know I want to, more than anything.
563
00:27:45,832 --> 00:27:47,209
Have you ever heard the expression,
564
00:27:47,233 --> 00:27:49,730
"laughter is the best medicine"?
565
00:27:49,836 --> 00:27:52,166
Have you heard the Portuguese expression,
566
00:27:52,204 --> 00:27:55,914
"medicine is the best medicine"?
567
00:27:55,942 --> 00:27:58,820
You know who said that?
568
00:27:58,110 --> 00:28:01,480
Maria's ex fiancé.
569
00:28:01,513 --> 00:28:02,853
He's a doctor!
570
00:28:17,930 --> 00:28:21,300
Uhh, my uncle says, you're a lucky man.
571
00:28:21,500 --> 00:28:23,100
Thank you, Uncle Joao.
572
00:28:29,108 --> 00:28:30,108
Two.
573
00:28:31,343 --> 00:28:32,483
(chuckles)
574
00:28:37,817 --> 00:28:40,287
You did that on purpose,
didn't you you little devil?
575
00:28:42,989 --> 00:28:44,890
I gotta go.
576
00:28:45,992 --> 00:28:47,832
Goodnight everyone, thank you.
577
00:28:47,860 --> 00:28:50,000
Bye!
578
00:28:50,229 --> 00:28:51,199
Love you!
579
00:28:51,230 --> 00:28:52,430
Love you too.
580
00:28:59,305 --> 00:29:00,505
They hate me.
581
00:29:00,907 --> 00:29:02,537
They don't hate you.
582
00:29:02,574 --> 00:29:04,884
They just need to get to know you.
583
00:29:04,911 --> 00:29:07,281
Well I'm not sure how
crazy I am about them.
584
00:29:07,313 --> 00:29:09,553
They're judgmental, intimidating.
585
00:29:09,581 --> 00:29:12,251
Your father threatened me, and your sister!
586
00:29:12,284 --> 00:29:15,294
Mmm, I have never seen
dexterity in toes like that!
587
00:29:15,321 --> 00:29:16,321
Ever!
588
00:29:17,156 --> 00:29:18,500
Your grandmother caught me on the lips.
589
00:29:18,524 --> 00:29:20,264
It was like kissing a catfish!!!
590
00:29:20,292 --> 00:29:23,200
(laughing)
591
00:29:23,290 --> 00:29:26,290
And the Ricky Martin painting?!
592
00:29:26,650 --> 00:29:26,725
The what?
593
00:29:26,765 --> 00:29:30,650
In your dads little man cave?
594
00:29:30,102 --> 00:29:33,542
Oh, no, that's not Ricky Martin,
that's Cristiano Ronaldo,
595
00:29:33,572 --> 00:29:35,942
a famous Portuguese soccer player.
596
00:29:36,375 --> 00:29:39,305
Listen Jack, I know they can be a handful.
597
00:29:39,345 --> 00:29:42,575
But I'm just really glad you tried.
598
00:29:42,614 --> 00:29:44,384
It meant a lot to me.
599
00:29:46,218 --> 00:29:46,988
Wow.
600
00:29:47,190 --> 00:29:47,949
(grunting)
601
00:29:47,987 --> 00:29:50,857
I've never seen you get
worked up like this.
602
00:29:50,890 --> 00:29:54,460
What happened to cool cat nip Jack?
603
00:29:54,493 --> 00:29:57,163
He just got a taste of his future in-laws.
604
00:29:58,564 --> 00:29:59,564
What?
605
00:30:02,234 --> 00:30:05,874
I was planning on doing this differently.
606
00:30:08,540 --> 00:30:13,380
Maria, you've made me
realize all the things
607
00:30:13,412 --> 00:30:16,582
I never knew I wanted.
608
00:30:16,615 --> 00:30:21,585
And now that I know, there's
only one thing left to do.
609
00:30:23,489 --> 00:30:24,319
Will you marry...
610
00:30:24,356 --> 00:30:25,416
Oh yes!
611
00:30:25,457 --> 00:30:29,527
Yes, yes, yes!
612
00:30:30,329 --> 00:30:32,499
We just have to see Señora Maria first.
613
00:30:34,266 --> 00:30:35,396
Your therapist?
614
00:30:37,690 --> 00:30:38,539
I believe in therapy.
615
00:30:38,570 --> 00:30:41,940
I think people can learn a lot
about themselves, you know.
616
00:30:41,974 --> 00:30:44,284
I guess, it's just not for me.
617
00:30:44,310 --> 00:30:46,450
You know travelling is my therapy.
618
00:30:46,478 --> 00:30:48,408
I learned a lot about myself
619
00:30:48,447 --> 00:30:50,317
while backpacking through Europe.
620
00:30:50,349 --> 00:30:54,319
But it was my time in India
was the most profound.
621
00:30:54,353 --> 00:30:57,923
I remember riding an elephant
to see the Taj Mahal at sunset.
622
00:30:57,957 --> 00:31:00,157
It was the most incredible thing.
623
00:31:00,192 --> 00:31:03,262
Emperor Shah Jahan built it in
memory of his deceased wife.
624
00:31:03,295 --> 00:31:05,950
They say it's the world's most magnificent
625
00:31:05,131 --> 00:31:07,431
monument dedicated to love and devotion.
626
00:31:10,169 --> 00:31:12,909
What does it look like?
627
00:31:12,939 --> 00:31:16,179
Oh, words can't even describe it.
628
00:31:16,208 --> 00:31:19,108
It's just, so incredible.
629
00:31:19,145 --> 00:31:21,405
Mmm, I am so jealous.
630
00:31:21,447 --> 00:31:23,377
Here you are, this world traveller
631
00:31:23,415 --> 00:31:26,345
and I've hardly been anywhere.
632
00:31:26,385 --> 00:31:29,850
I figure we've only got this one world,
633
00:31:29,121 --> 00:31:32,161
we should try and experience it.
634
00:31:32,191 --> 00:31:34,191
(knocking)
635
00:31:34,226 --> 00:31:35,456
Oh, you're alive!
636
00:31:35,494 --> 00:31:36,104
I am.
637
00:31:36,128 --> 00:31:37,280
Thank God.
638
00:31:37,630 --> 00:31:38,973
See I assumed you were
dead because why else
639
00:31:38,998 --> 00:31:41,968
when we have a network pitch
coming up would you go AWOL
640
00:31:42,100 --> 00:31:44,941
and stop answering your email
and your phone and your text.
641
00:31:44,971 --> 00:31:47,410
Uhh.
642
00:31:47,730 --> 00:31:49,183
Um, holy shit!
643
00:31:49,208 --> 00:31:51,800
Looks like Martha Stewart vomited in here.
644
00:31:51,430 --> 00:31:52,213
What's going on?
645
00:31:52,244 --> 00:31:54,714
I uhh, I got a roommate.
646
00:31:54,746 --> 00:31:56,476
You're living with someone?
647
00:31:56,515 --> 00:31:59,445
Yeah, my fiancé.
648
00:31:59,485 --> 00:32:01,445
Get the f...
649
00:32:01,487 --> 00:32:02,487
Are you serious?
650
00:32:02,521 --> 00:32:03,191
Yeah.
651
00:32:03,222 --> 00:32:04,322
You're serious!?
652
00:32:04,356 --> 00:32:06,126
Oh my god no, no, no.
653
00:32:06,158 --> 00:32:09,128
This is the worst thing that
could happen to a writing team!
654
00:32:09,161 --> 00:32:10,301
Wilson, come on,
655
00:32:10,329 --> 00:32:12,529
Oh and you already got that
stupid look on your face.
656
00:32:12,564 --> 00:32:14,134
No wonder your ideas lick!
657
00:32:14,166 --> 00:32:15,496
You've got love brain!!
658
00:32:15,534 --> 00:32:19,440
Hey, I don't have love brain
and my ideas don't lick!
659
00:32:19,710 --> 00:32:23,410
What about my script "Special Agent Ed"?
660
00:32:23,750 --> 00:32:25,435
That's about a retarded FBI agent!
661
00:32:28,280 --> 00:32:29,980
Oh my god.
662
00:32:30,160 --> 00:32:31,246
I do have love brain.
663
00:32:31,283 --> 00:32:32,323
Ditch this chick.
664
00:32:32,351 --> 00:32:34,960
Cause we've got three
network pitches coming up,
665
00:32:34,120 --> 00:32:35,320
and we have Jack!
666
00:32:35,354 --> 00:32:37,124
That's funny, I should write that down.
667
00:32:37,156 --> 00:32:38,716
I promise I won't let my relationship
668
00:32:38,757 --> 00:32:40,870
affect our work anymore.
669
00:32:40,126 --> 00:32:42,126
I need this more than you do man.
670
00:32:42,161 --> 00:32:43,401
Mhmm, that's debatable.
671
00:32:43,429 --> 00:32:48,469
But Wilson, you have to meet Maria.
672
00:32:48,500 --> 00:32:49,240
Maria?
673
00:32:49,268 --> 00:32:50,638
Her names Maria, she's ethnic?!
674
00:32:50,669 --> 00:32:51,999
Great!
675
00:32:52,380 --> 00:32:53,508
That's like love brain on crack!!
676
00:32:56,142 --> 00:33:00,352
Don't worry Senora Maria is
very nice, you'll love her.
677
00:33:00,379 --> 00:33:01,649
I'm not worried.
678
00:33:01,680 --> 00:33:04,150
Good.
679
00:33:04,183 --> 00:33:06,623
Ah, Nelia, how are you?
680
00:33:07,653 --> 00:33:12,123
I thought you died.
681
00:33:12,158 --> 00:33:16,328
Evil eye thing, I got one of
these guys again, evil eye.
682
00:33:19,631 --> 00:33:22,701
Oh, Nelia, this is Jack, my fiancé.
683
00:33:22,734 --> 00:33:25,404
Jack this is my favorite cousin, Nelia.
684
00:33:25,437 --> 00:33:26,707
He so cute.
685
00:33:27,173 --> 00:33:28,373
Oh my god.
686
00:33:28,407 --> 00:33:29,607
What does Señora Maria think?
687
00:33:29,641 --> 00:33:31,281
That's why we're here.
688
00:33:31,310 --> 00:33:32,240
First time?
689
00:33:32,278 --> 00:33:33,278
Yeah.
690
00:33:35,714 --> 00:33:37,124
Good to see you!
691
00:33:39,385 --> 00:33:40,285
Call me!
692
00:33:40,319 --> 00:33:41,689
I know, I know!
693
00:33:42,688 --> 00:33:43,388
Bye!
694
00:33:43,422 --> 00:33:45,292
Bye.
695
00:33:45,324 --> 00:33:49,234
♪
696
00:33:49,261 --> 00:33:52,610
(bell dings)
697
00:33:52,980 --> 00:33:53,428
This is your therapist's office?
698
00:33:53,465 --> 00:33:54,825
Shhhhh!
699
00:33:54,866 --> 00:34:02,866
♪
700
00:34:05,111 --> 00:34:13,111
♪
701
00:34:15,387 --> 00:34:17,157
You've got Tobe kidding me.
702
00:34:17,723 --> 00:34:18,663
Stop it.
703
00:34:18,690 --> 00:34:19,690
What?
704
00:34:31,870 --> 00:34:34,210
This is not the man for you.
705
00:34:34,240 --> 00:34:36,740
You must leave immediately.
706
00:34:40,679 --> 00:34:42,649
What is it, what did she say?
707
00:34:54,760 --> 00:35:00,870
So, how are the Patriots
lookin' on Sunday, huh?
708
00:35:00,899 --> 00:35:04,799
Three turnovers. Pats lose by six.
709
00:35:04,836 --> 00:35:12,836
♪
710
00:35:13,612 --> 00:35:16,382
Why don't you just tell me
what crystal ball lady said?
711
00:35:16,415 --> 00:35:17,525
It's obviously upsetting you.
712
00:35:17,549 --> 00:35:18,879
It's nothing.
713
00:35:22,221 --> 00:35:24,721
Are those the same underwear
you had on last night?
714
00:35:24,756 --> 00:35:26,256
No.
715
00:35:26,292 --> 00:35:27,232
Ugh.
716
00:35:27,259 --> 00:35:28,429
Two days in a row.
717
00:35:28,460 --> 00:35:30,260
That's disgusting.
718
00:35:30,296 --> 00:35:31,656
I showered before bed last night.
719
00:35:31,697 --> 00:35:34,327
Why should I change them
after only sleeping in them?
720
00:35:34,366 --> 00:35:35,526
Because that's the rule.
721
00:35:35,567 --> 00:35:36,697
Everyone knows everyday
722
00:35:36,735 --> 00:35:38,695
starts off with a fresh pair of underwear.
723
00:35:38,737 --> 00:35:40,937
Well, there's 24-hours Ina
day, so technically...
724
00:35:40,972 --> 00:35:42,272
I'm still good.
725
00:35:42,308 --> 00:35:43,278
I better not catch you
726
00:35:43,309 --> 00:35:45,479
trying to squeeze another day out of those.
727
00:35:45,511 --> 00:35:47,311
Yes, mom.
728
00:35:47,346 --> 00:35:49,216
Look, you're letting
whatever that voodoo lady
729
00:35:49,248 --> 00:35:51,578
said get to you, and
that's completely nuts.
730
00:35:51,617 --> 00:35:53,287
Señora Maria has a gift.
731
00:35:53,319 --> 00:35:55,149
Yeah, and it's called hustling!
732
00:35:57,556 --> 00:35:58,556
Wait.
733
00:35:59,157 --> 00:36:00,602
Aren't you going to fold my underwear?!
734
00:36:00,626 --> 00:36:01,626
Hm?
735
00:36:02,394 --> 00:36:03,771
You're stacking, see how I fold yours.
736
00:36:03,795 --> 00:36:06,525
That's how you do it!
737
00:36:06,565 --> 00:36:10,335
Do you really expect me to fold this?
738
00:36:10,602 --> 00:36:12,672
Yes!
739
00:36:12,704 --> 00:36:14,274
It's like trying to do origami.
740
00:36:14,306 --> 00:36:16,876
Now please tell me that this
has something to do with
741
00:36:16,908 --> 00:36:19,448
voodoo lady, because this is
the most intense conversation
742
00:36:19,478 --> 00:36:22,278
about underwear, anyone has ever had!
743
00:36:22,314 --> 00:36:24,824
She said we have to hold
off on getting married.
744
00:36:24,850 --> 00:36:26,290
It's not a big deal.
745
00:36:26,318 --> 00:36:29,758
It just means she has to
read you or us again.
746
00:36:29,788 --> 00:36:31,558
This is about yourfamily, isn't it?
747
00:36:31,590 --> 00:36:33,590
It has nothing to do with Señora Maria.
748
00:36:33,625 --> 00:36:34,985
She's just a excuse.
749
00:36:35,260 --> 00:36:36,260
No, Jack.
750
00:36:37,162 --> 00:36:39,374
Maria, I promise I will change
your father's mind about me...
751
00:36:39,398 --> 00:36:40,628
Because he's your family.
752
00:36:40,666 --> 00:36:43,766
But there is no way in hell I'm
going to see the fortune teller.
753
00:36:43,802 --> 00:36:46,572
Now if you believe in her,
that's fine, that's your thing.
754
00:36:46,605 --> 00:36:48,965
But I will never be told
by some "magic lady"
755
00:36:49,700 --> 00:36:51,537
who I can and can't marry.
756
00:36:51,577 --> 00:36:52,637
And neither should you.
757
00:36:54,613 --> 00:37:00,793
Look Maria, I love you.
758
00:37:00,819 --> 00:37:02,519
That's all you need to know.
759
00:37:04,290 --> 00:37:05,820
I love you too, Jack.
760
00:37:08,627 --> 00:37:12,327
Our first fight.
761
00:37:12,364 --> 00:37:15,374
You know what this can mean?
762
00:37:15,401 --> 00:37:16,501
What?
763
00:37:16,535 --> 00:37:18,395
Our first make-up sex.
764
00:37:18,437 --> 00:37:19,607
Ohh.
765
00:37:19,638 --> 00:37:21,668
God I love firsts.
766
00:37:22,408 --> 00:37:24,800
Not on the underwear!!!
767
00:37:24,420 --> 00:37:30,652
♪
768
00:37:30,682 --> 00:37:33,592
Good morning, baby.
769
00:37:35,954 --> 00:37:37,994
Time to tell my parents the good news.
770
00:37:44,696 --> 00:37:47,296
Have you seen any of my hair ties around?
771
00:37:48,334 --> 00:37:49,604
I love this game.
772
00:37:50,936 --> 00:37:53,406
I found one in my cereal the other day.
773
00:37:56,675 --> 00:37:58,375
Come on we have to go.
774
00:38:00,979 --> 00:38:02,900
Ready?
775
00:38:02,470 --> 00:38:02,907
Bring it on.
776
00:38:02,948 --> 00:38:04,578
No pausing.
777
00:38:04,616 --> 00:38:05,416
Go!
778
00:38:05,451 --> 00:38:06,751
Favorite musician?
779
00:38:06,785 --> 00:38:08,415
-Black-eyed peas.-Katy Perry.
780
00:38:08,454 --> 00:38:09,464
Favorite movie?
781
00:38:09,488 --> 00:38:10,588
-Star Wars.-The Notebook.
782
00:38:10,622 --> 00:38:11,762
Favorite food?
783
00:38:11,790 --> 00:38:13,490
-French fries.-Chinese.
784
00:38:13,525 --> 00:38:14,785
Uhh, favorite position?
785
00:38:14,826 --> 00:38:17,560
-Quarterback.-On top.
786
00:38:17,950 --> 00:38:18,550
Wow!
787
00:38:18,960 --> 00:38:19,256
You were right.
788
00:38:19,297 --> 00:38:21,697
This is definitely the best
way to get to know someone.
789
00:38:21,733 --> 00:38:22,333
No, no.
790
00:38:22,368 --> 00:38:23,398
I thought you meant...
791
00:38:23,435 --> 00:38:24,650
I said position.
792
00:38:24,102 --> 00:38:25,502
And look where you went.
793
00:38:25,537 --> 00:38:26,537
You set me up!
794
00:38:26,572 --> 00:38:28,372
You totally set me up!!
795
00:38:28,407 --> 00:38:29,507
It was your game.
796
00:38:29,541 --> 00:38:31,341
Wait a minute, why am I embarrassed?
797
00:38:31,377 --> 00:38:33,347
You just admitted to liking Katy Perry.
798
00:38:33,379 --> 00:38:34,579
What's wrong with Katy Perry?
799
00:38:34,613 --> 00:38:36,353
Nothing, if you're a tween.
800
00:38:36,382 --> 00:38:43,592
(laughing)
801
00:38:43,622 --> 00:38:46,122
On top, huh?
802
00:38:46,157 --> 00:38:47,887
You better believe it.
803
00:38:47,926 --> 00:38:50,956
♪
804
00:38:50,996 --> 00:38:53,426
How come we always enter
through the back door?
805
00:38:53,465 --> 00:38:57,835
Because we never use the
front entrance of our house.
806
00:38:57,869 --> 00:38:59,990
Why not?
807
00:38:59,137 --> 00:39:01,967
Because then it would get dirty.
808
00:39:02,700 --> 00:39:03,107
C'mon.
809
00:39:04,610 --> 00:39:05,710
I got this.
810
00:39:05,744 --> 00:39:13,124
♪
811
00:39:13,151 --> 00:39:14,391
Marco!
812
00:39:14,420 --> 00:39:15,590
Dinner!
813
00:39:15,621 --> 00:39:19,121
♪
814
00:39:19,157 --> 00:39:19,787
Hey.
815
00:39:19,825 --> 00:39:20,885
Hey.
816
00:39:30,602 --> 00:39:33,102
You're most susceptible to
the devil when you yawn.
817
00:39:33,138 --> 00:39:34,368
Mom stopped him.
818
00:39:35,441 --> 00:39:36,441
Right on.
819
00:39:43,915 --> 00:39:46,885
Homemade Portuguese wine is
the best wine in the world.
820
00:39:50,550 --> 00:39:52,755
Jose, you missed someone.
821
00:39:52,791 --> 00:39:53,691
That's okay.
822
00:39:53,725 --> 00:39:55,685
I'm not a big drinker.
823
00:39:55,727 --> 00:39:57,197
You no like Portuguese wine?!
824
00:39:57,228 --> 00:39:57,898
No, no.
825
00:39:57,929 --> 00:39:58,729
I do.
826
00:39:58,764 --> 00:40:00,504
I just wanted you to know that I,
827
00:40:00,532 --> 00:40:04,102
that I don't have a drinking
problem or anything.
828
00:40:04,135 --> 00:40:07,935
So, Jack, Maria tells us
that you write funny tv.
829
00:40:07,973 --> 00:40:10,183
But what do you do for a living?
830
00:40:10,208 --> 00:40:11,608
Uhh well, that's it.
831
00:40:11,643 --> 00:40:12,983
I'm a... I'm a writer.
832
00:40:13,110 --> 00:40:14,981
I write sitcoms for a living.
833
00:40:15,130 --> 00:40:16,953
Jack created the show "My Two Dicks"?
834
00:40:16,982 --> 00:40:18,122
Sweet!!!
835
00:40:18,149 --> 00:40:19,190
Detectives.
836
00:40:19,500 --> 00:40:20,620
My Two Detectives.
837
00:40:20,652 --> 00:40:22,492
Writing is not a job.
838
00:40:22,521 --> 00:40:23,865
Have you thought about construction?
839
00:40:23,889 --> 00:40:26,189
You need a real job to support a family.
840
00:40:26,224 --> 00:40:28,340
Jose, what did we talk about?
841
00:40:28,590 --> 00:40:28,859
I'm being nice.
842
00:40:28,894 --> 00:40:29,934
Right, Jack?
843
00:40:29,961 --> 00:40:32,901
Why don't you tell us what
you know about Portugal.
844
00:40:32,931 --> 00:40:33,731
Dad?
845
00:40:33,765 --> 00:40:36,665
Let him answer, badger.
846
00:40:36,702 --> 00:40:37,842
Well I umm...
847
00:40:37,869 --> 00:40:39,390
This should be good.
848
00:40:41,707 --> 00:40:44,137
I didn't realize this would be on the test.
849
00:40:45,100 --> 00:40:47,810
To be honest, I don't know too much, sir.
850
00:40:47,846 --> 00:40:52,160
All I know is that Portugal's
a very small country...
851
00:40:52,500 --> 00:40:53,820
So they must have very small people
852
00:40:53,852 --> 00:40:55,622
so they can all fit in it.
853
00:40:55,654 --> 00:40:57,494
(laughing)
854
00:40:59,858 --> 00:41:02,658
Not that you're small sir.
855
00:41:02,694 --> 00:41:04,640
You are a good size.
856
00:41:08,534 --> 00:41:10,104
But one thing is for certain.
857
00:41:10,135 --> 00:41:13,765
Portugal's number one export
must be beautiful women.
858
00:41:13,805 --> 00:41:19,205
Maria, Avo...
859
00:41:19,244 --> 00:41:21,484
Uhh, Mrs. Moniz.
860
00:41:22,213 --> 00:41:23,983
Mr. Moniz, you are a lucky man!
861
00:41:24,150 --> 00:41:25,845
Lucky that I'm not ten years older.
862
00:41:25,884 --> 00:41:27,854
That's some uh, good
Portuguese genes right there
863
00:41:27,886 --> 00:41:30,186
and I'd love to get in on that action.
864
00:41:32,223 --> 00:41:37,103
I mean, have beautiful
Portuguese children one day,
865
00:41:37,128 --> 00:41:41,198
with your daughter, not your wife.
866
00:41:41,232 --> 00:41:43,172
That would be wildly inappropriate.
867
00:41:43,201 --> 00:41:45,641
Is this another one of your jokes, Jack?
868
00:41:45,671 --> 00:41:46,841
Jesus Christ, no.
869
00:41:46,872 --> 00:41:47,842
Jack.
870
00:41:47,873 --> 00:41:48,673
Oh, goddamnit.
871
00:41:48,707 --> 00:41:50,837
Jack!
872
00:41:50,876 --> 00:41:53,136
Did you know that five hundred years ago
873
00:41:53,178 --> 00:41:55,878
Portugal conquered eighty
percent of the globe?!
874
00:41:55,914 --> 00:42:00,554
Now how could such a small
country have so much power?
875
00:42:03,354 --> 00:42:05,194
Because they are strong and smart?
876
00:42:05,223 --> 00:42:07,630
That's right!
877
00:42:07,920 --> 00:42:10,862
Hey Marco, take Jack to your
room and show him the old map!!
878
00:42:10,896 --> 00:42:12,196
Right now before dinner.
879
00:42:12,230 --> 00:42:13,200
Do I have to?
880
00:42:13,231 --> 00:42:16,231
If you're not out of
here in five seconds...
881
00:42:26,144 --> 00:42:26,754
Dad.
882
00:42:26,778 --> 00:42:28,108
How could you give up
883
00:42:28,146 --> 00:42:30,276
such a nice Portuguese doctor for this?
884
00:42:30,315 --> 00:42:31,615
Jose, please.
885
00:42:31,650 --> 00:42:32,750
I will not please Anna!
886
00:42:32,784 --> 00:42:35,994
Someone in this family has
to talk some sense to her!
887
00:42:36,210 --> 00:42:38,910
Maria.
888
00:42:38,123 --> 00:42:40,293
(speaking in Portuguese)
889
00:42:40,325 --> 00:42:42,755
You two don't belong together.
890
00:42:42,794 --> 00:42:44,234
You're too different.
891
00:42:44,262 --> 00:42:45,620
Can't you see?
892
00:42:45,960 --> 00:42:48,226
I mean, he will never understand us.
893
00:42:48,934 --> 00:42:50,304
Daddy, I love him.
894
00:42:52,270 --> 00:42:55,270
You only think you do, I can
find you a better match.
895
00:42:55,306 --> 00:42:58,376
Trust me.
896
00:42:58,409 --> 00:43:06,409
♪
897
00:43:12,991 --> 00:43:13,831
How could you?!
898
00:43:13,859 --> 00:43:15,629
The silence must have been killing you!
899
00:43:15,661 --> 00:43:17,631
You get asked a simple
question about Portugal,
900
00:43:17,663 --> 00:43:19,633
and you answer it by insulting my dad
901
00:43:19,665 --> 00:43:21,250
and then hitting on my mom?!
902
00:43:21,660 --> 00:43:23,366
You know your dad makes me very nervous.
903
00:43:23,401 --> 00:43:24,141
And your mom...
904
00:43:24,169 --> 00:43:26,390
Well it was meant as a compliment.
905
00:43:26,710 --> 00:43:28,110
It was creepy!
906
00:43:28,390 --> 00:43:29,809
Why didn't you just talk about backpacking
907
00:43:29,841 --> 00:43:31,810
through Europe, Jack?
908
00:43:33,779 --> 00:43:36,309
Wait, you have been to Europe, right?
909
00:43:37,883 --> 00:43:39,383
I'm so sorry.
910
00:43:39,417 --> 00:43:41,187
Oh my god, you lied to me?!
911
00:43:41,219 --> 00:43:42,819
I was trying to impress you!
912
00:43:42,854 --> 00:43:44,224
I got caught up.
913
00:43:44,255 --> 00:43:46,255
"We've only have this one world,
914
00:43:46,291 --> 00:43:47,961
we should try and experience it"?!!
915
00:43:47,993 --> 00:43:50,330
Have you even been to India?!
916
00:43:50,610 --> 00:43:51,931
Indiana?
917
00:43:51,963 --> 00:43:52,963
I'm so sorry.
918
00:43:52,998 --> 00:43:56,898
I swear it's the only thing
I've ever fibbed about
919
00:43:56,935 --> 00:44:00,350
and I am so sorry Maria.
920
00:44:00,710 --> 00:44:03,411
For lying and embarrassing you.
921
00:44:03,441 --> 00:44:05,411
I'm gonna make this up to you, Maria.
922
00:44:05,443 --> 00:44:07,783
I promise.
923
00:44:07,813 --> 00:44:10,223
I'm gonna show yourfamily the real Jack.
924
00:44:10,248 --> 00:44:12,678
Please don't.
925
00:44:33,338 --> 00:44:38,978
Space Bar, it's like "Cheers" in space???
926
00:44:45,450 --> 00:44:46,450
Do you hate me?
927
00:44:46,484 --> 00:44:48,240
It was just an idea.
928
00:44:48,530 --> 00:44:49,930
I've got others.
929
00:44:49,120 --> 00:44:50,120
I've read the others!
930
00:44:50,155 --> 00:44:50,985
We're screwed, Jack.
931
00:44:51,220 --> 00:44:53,122
Our pitch is at the end of the month
932
00:44:53,158 --> 00:44:57,458
and your only solution is to
reboot 80's sitcoms in space!!
933
00:44:57,495 --> 00:44:59,395
I mean, you're the concept guy.
934
00:44:59,430 --> 00:45:01,700
The hell you been doing with your time?
935
00:45:07,305 --> 00:45:10,335
(speaking in Portuguese)
936
00:45:10,375 --> 00:45:13,745
I've been hashing out some new concepts.
937
00:45:13,779 --> 00:45:15,809
Right.
938
00:45:15,847 --> 00:45:18,777
It's been a little rocky
on the home front lately.
939
00:45:18,817 --> 00:45:20,847
How long have we been friends?
940
00:45:20,886 --> 00:45:21,860
Forever.
941
00:45:21,119 --> 00:45:22,289
Mhm.
942
00:45:22,320 --> 00:45:24,265
You know I'd push someone so
they'd take a bullet for you,
943
00:45:24,289 --> 00:45:25,319
right?
944
00:45:25,356 --> 00:45:26,860
Yeah.
945
00:45:26,124 --> 00:45:28,234
Right so, prioritize us, Jack.
946
00:45:28,259 --> 00:45:29,959
We are running out of time.
947
00:45:29,995 --> 00:45:31,495
Tick, tick, tick.
948
00:45:31,529 --> 00:45:33,229
Look Maria's a really great person,
949
00:45:33,264 --> 00:45:36,740
but dude, it's not your first rodeo.
950
00:45:36,101 --> 00:45:37,410
Engagement?
951
00:45:37,680 --> 00:45:37,838
Tomato.
952
00:45:37,869 --> 00:45:38,739
The point is, girls come and go,
953
00:45:38,770 --> 00:45:41,240
but I have always been there for you.
954
00:45:41,272 --> 00:45:47,520
So stop being a bitch and
give me a decent pitch.
955
00:45:47,780 --> 00:45:48,208
Hey, Wilson.
956
00:45:48,880 --> 00:45:50,120
How's the writing going?
957
00:45:50,148 --> 00:45:50,878
Peachy.
958
00:45:50,916 --> 00:45:53,476
Hey babe, where are you going?
959
00:45:53,518 --> 00:45:56,858
Uhh, just gonna get some
fresh cod fish for dinner.
960
00:45:56,888 --> 00:45:57,788
See ya later.
961
00:45:57,823 --> 00:45:59,463
Yeah, see ya later.
962
00:46:02,460 --> 00:46:04,260
Stupid love brain.
963
00:46:09,200 --> 00:46:10,200
Jack!
964
00:46:14,390 --> 00:46:15,390
Jack!
965
00:46:15,773 --> 00:46:17,510
You said you cleaned the
bottom of the cupboards.
966
00:46:17,750 --> 00:46:18,135
I did.
967
00:46:18,176 --> 00:46:19,887
Well then you don't know the
difference between clean
968
00:46:19,911 --> 00:46:21,181
and Portuguese clean.
969
00:46:21,212 --> 00:46:23,482
My Avó will white glove us, Jack.
970
00:46:25,283 --> 00:46:27,493
Did you dust the tops of
the kitchen cupboards?
971
00:46:27,518 --> 00:46:30,580
She could never reach.
972
00:46:30,880 --> 00:46:31,918
Never under estimate an
old Portuguese woman
973
00:46:31,957 --> 00:46:33,870
looking for dirt.
974
00:46:35,260 --> 00:46:36,186
Fine!
975
00:46:38,529 --> 00:46:40,690
Did you clean the bathroom?!
976
00:46:40,899 --> 00:46:42,829
Yes!
977
00:46:42,868 --> 00:46:44,868
And did you take out the bathroom garbage?!
978
00:46:45,700 --> 00:46:46,000
Yes!
979
00:46:46,370 --> 00:46:47,967
Do we always have to shout at each other?!
980
00:46:48,600 --> 00:46:49,206
What?!
981
00:46:49,240 --> 00:46:50,210
Never mind.
982
00:46:50,241 --> 00:46:51,281
What?!
983
00:46:51,309 --> 00:46:53,209
I said, never mind!
984
00:46:56,470 --> 00:46:59,447
I'm turning into one of them.
985
00:46:59,484 --> 00:47:07,484
♪
986
00:47:08,326 --> 00:47:10,456
Jack, I didn't know you spoke Portuguese?
987
00:47:10,495 --> 00:47:11,955
He's been learning.
988
00:47:12,330 --> 00:47:15,700
We know his English wasn't working.
989
00:47:15,100 --> 00:47:16,630
Well, I'm very impressed, Jack.
990
00:47:16,667 --> 00:47:19,370
Did you know that it was
a Portuguese priest
991
00:47:19,700 --> 00:47:21,100
who pioneered solar panels?
992
00:47:21,390 --> 00:47:22,609
And that it was a Portuguese doctor
993
00:47:22,640 --> 00:47:24,210
who invented the lobotomy?
994
00:47:24,242 --> 00:47:25,212
Why?
995
00:47:25,243 --> 00:47:26,643
You in the market?
996
00:47:26,677 --> 00:47:28,207
(laughing)
997
00:47:28,246 --> 00:47:30,176
I can be funny too right?
998
00:47:30,215 --> 00:47:31,215
Jose.
999
00:47:34,850 --> 00:47:36,985
Ah, I wish Sporting was
playing that's my team.
1000
00:47:37,188 --> 00:47:38,418
You like Sporting?
1001
00:47:38,456 --> 00:47:42,156
Yeah, I'd like them a lot better
if they had Cristiano Ronaldo!
1002
00:47:42,193 --> 00:47:44,330
Ronaldinhu!!!!
1003
00:47:44,529 --> 00:47:47,329
Maybe this guy's not so bad, Maria.
1004
00:47:47,365 --> 00:47:49,325
Ronaldo!!!!
1005
00:47:53,538 --> 00:47:54,568
It's going good!
1006
00:47:54,605 --> 00:47:58,350
(dog growling)
1007
00:48:08,253 --> 00:48:10,363
Jack, what's in his mouth?
1008
00:48:10,388 --> 00:48:11,958
He's got a condom.
1009
00:48:11,990 --> 00:48:13,190
Oh my god.
1010
00:48:14,192 --> 00:48:16,632
Hey, nobody wants this.
1011
00:48:20,465 --> 00:48:21,525
Mom, coffee?
1012
00:48:21,566 --> 00:48:23,996
Dad, some more wine?
1013
00:48:24,350 --> 00:48:25,435
Oh yeah, sorry!
1014
00:48:26,237 --> 00:48:27,207
Give it to me.
1015
00:48:27,238 --> 00:48:28,638
Give it to me,
1016
00:48:28,673 --> 00:48:30,430
Mom, dad?
1017
00:48:33,278 --> 00:48:34,208
Good doggy.
1018
00:48:34,245 --> 00:48:35,305
Good doggy.
1019
00:48:38,683 --> 00:48:39,993
You want a cookie?
1020
00:48:40,585 --> 00:48:42,345
Yeah, you want a cookie?
1021
00:48:44,122 --> 00:48:45,492
Maria get him a cookie!!!
1022
00:48:47,358 --> 00:48:49,188
Here, Mr. Bojangles.
1023
00:48:49,227 --> 00:48:50,257
Come, come.
1024
00:48:50,295 --> 00:48:52,325
Mamas got a biscuit.
1025
00:48:52,363 --> 00:48:55,403
It's peanut butter, your favorite.
1026
00:49:07,112 --> 00:49:09,152
I thought Mr. Bojangles was fixed.
1027
00:49:12,170 --> 00:49:14,187
Bojangles totally threw me under the bus.
1028
00:49:14,219 --> 00:49:15,589
Oh no, no, no, no, no.
1029
00:49:15,620 --> 00:49:17,360
Do not blame Mr. Bojangles!
1030
00:49:17,388 --> 00:49:20,188
I specifically asked you if you
threw out the bathroom garbage.
1031
00:49:20,225 --> 00:49:21,555
And you said "Yes"!
1032
00:49:21,592 --> 00:49:22,592
I thought I had.
1033
00:49:22,627 --> 00:49:23,627
I'm sorry.
1034
00:49:29,467 --> 00:49:30,467
Maria?
1035
00:49:30,501 --> 00:49:31,541
Go to sleep.
1036
00:49:31,569 --> 00:49:34,109
What, you don't even know
what I was going to ask.
1037
00:49:34,139 --> 00:49:39,179
The answer's "no" to all of your questions.
1038
00:49:39,210 --> 00:49:43,580
I just you know I just think
it's been a while since...
1039
00:49:43,614 --> 00:49:46,154
Since what?
1040
00:49:46,184 --> 00:49:49,240
Since I got to visit Area 51.
1041
00:49:49,540 --> 00:49:51,494
I've heard rumors about it.
1042
00:49:52,357 --> 00:49:53,357
Ow!
1043
00:49:54,459 --> 00:49:56,603
You don't have to practice
being in a bad mood, you know.
1044
00:49:56,627 --> 00:50:02,597
'Cause you're like a professional!
1045
00:50:02,633 --> 00:50:09,143
♪
1046
00:50:09,174 --> 00:50:10,184
Jack?
1047
00:50:12,543 --> 00:50:13,683
Jack?
1048
00:50:17,315 --> 00:50:19,145
Jack, did you takeout the garbage?
1049
00:50:19,184 --> 00:50:20,554
Maria, I'm working!
1050
00:50:20,585 --> 00:50:28,585
♪
1051
00:50:30,628 --> 00:50:38,628
♪
1052
00:50:40,671 --> 00:50:48,671
♪
1053
00:50:50,648 --> 00:50:58,648
♪
1054
00:51:02,527 --> 00:51:04,427
Let go, Maria.
1055
00:51:04,462 --> 00:51:06,102
It was never meant to be.
1056
00:51:06,597 --> 00:51:09,197
Well if Señora Maria says
it, it must be true!!
1057
00:51:09,234 --> 00:51:11,404
For once in your life, can you be serious?
1058
00:51:11,436 --> 00:51:14,166
Can you not make your stupid little jokes?!
1059
00:51:14,205 --> 00:51:15,765
(speaking in Portuguese)
1060
00:51:15,806 --> 00:51:17,436
Only if you can speak English.
1061
00:51:17,475 --> 00:51:19,735
Blah, pish, blah, pish,
That's all I ever hear.
1062
00:51:19,777 --> 00:51:21,377
It's like listening to the dishwasher!
1063
00:51:21,412 --> 00:51:22,852
Excuse me for being bilingual!
1064
00:51:22,880 --> 00:51:25,220
Excuse me for having a sense of humor!
1065
00:51:25,250 --> 00:51:27,890
Señora Maria said this would happen.
1066
00:51:27,918 --> 00:51:29,248
I can't take this!
1067
00:51:29,287 --> 00:51:31,657
You are crazy!
1068
00:51:34,392 --> 00:51:35,562
Jesus Christ!
1069
00:51:35,593 --> 00:51:36,863
What did you call me?!
1070
00:51:36,894 --> 00:51:38,164
You heard me!
1071
00:51:38,196 --> 00:51:39,896
I am not crazy!
1072
00:51:39,930 --> 00:51:42,500
Then tell me why you
believe in her so much?!
1073
00:51:42,533 --> 00:51:46,703
Make me understand why you need
Señora Maria in your life?!!
1074
00:51:47,305 --> 00:51:49,765
Because she's never wrong!!
1075
00:51:56,647 --> 00:51:58,247
She told me to stay home.
1076
00:51:58,283 --> 00:51:59,683
The day of Marco's accident.
1077
00:51:59,717 --> 00:52:01,717
She warned me that something
bad would happen,
1078
00:52:01,752 --> 00:52:03,522
and I didn't listen.
1079
00:52:05,490 --> 00:52:08,860
I was the one driving the car that day.
1080
00:52:10,495 --> 00:52:13,255
I was supposed to drop Marco
off at his soccer game,
1081
00:52:13,298 --> 00:52:16,398
but I wanted a stupid pair of
shoes from the mall first.
1082
00:52:17,335 --> 00:52:21,205
And when I was going through an
intersection when we got hit.
1083
00:52:21,239 --> 00:52:23,169
I should have listened.
1084
00:52:23,208 --> 00:52:23,868
Baby.
1085
00:52:23,908 --> 00:52:25,778
No Jack, no.
1086
00:52:27,445 --> 00:52:29,445
It was a freak accident.
1087
00:52:29,714 --> 00:52:31,384
You can't blame yourself.
1088
00:52:31,416 --> 00:52:33,276
It's not just that, it's everything.
1089
00:52:33,918 --> 00:52:36,448
Don't you see, Jack?
1090
00:52:36,487 --> 00:52:37,917
She's never wrong.
1091
00:52:38,623 --> 00:52:40,493
Well, she’s wrong about us.
1092
00:52:41,826 --> 00:52:43,486
No, she's not.
1093
00:52:44,529 --> 00:52:46,329
Look what’s happening to us.
1094
00:52:46,897 --> 00:52:50,367
We're just too different and
deep down we both know it.
1095
00:52:52,903 --> 00:52:54,313
I'm sorry.
1096
00:53:02,847 --> 00:53:06,217
Is Señora Maria the reason
you broke up with your ex?
1097
00:53:08,919 --> 00:53:11,289
Maria, okay, look at me.
1098
00:53:12,290 --> 00:53:13,520
Is she the reason?
1099
00:53:17,662 --> 00:53:19,332
Wow.
1100
00:53:19,997 --> 00:53:24,297
Here I thought that my love
for you actually mattered.
1101
00:53:24,335 --> 00:53:27,965
That I was the guy whose
love trumped superstition.
1102
00:53:29,440 --> 00:53:31,580
But now I know I’m not that guy.
1103
00:53:32,510 --> 00:53:33,710
Jack.
1104
00:53:34,679 --> 00:53:37,479
I was just one of the guys who tried.
1105
00:53:39,784 --> 00:53:41,494
Jack.
1106
00:53:45,220 --> 00:53:53,220
(crying)
1107
00:53:55,466 --> 00:54:02,966
(crying)
1108
00:54:03,700 --> 00:54:07,447
Oh, Querida.
1109
00:54:07,478 --> 00:54:10,478
(crying)
1110
00:54:10,515 --> 00:54:11,915
I'm so sorry.
1111
00:54:15,190 --> 00:54:16,919
It's going to be alright.
1112
00:54:27,998 --> 00:54:29,928
There was this one Christmas.
1113
00:54:31,680 --> 00:54:32,680
I was nine.
1114
00:54:33,270 --> 00:54:36,610
And I remember really wanting
Starscream, this transformer.
1115
00:54:36,641 --> 00:54:38,441
But not just any transformer,
1116
00:54:38,476 --> 00:54:41,460
the coolest one because he could
change into a fighter jet.
1117
00:54:41,780 --> 00:54:42,800
Ooooh.
1118
00:54:42,460 --> 00:54:43,906
Yeah, he was totally bad-ass.
1119
00:54:43,948 --> 00:54:46,318
I must've wrote Santa half a dozen letters.
1120
00:54:46,351 --> 00:54:49,321
Wait a second, you were nine and
you still believed in Santa?
1121
00:54:49,354 --> 00:54:51,394
I wanted to believe, alright!
1122
00:54:51,422 --> 00:54:53,322
Can I finish my story?
1123
00:54:54,592 --> 00:54:57,462
Anyway, Christmas morning comes
1124
00:54:57,495 --> 00:55:01,625
and I race downstairs
and I rip open my gift.
1125
00:55:01,666 --> 00:55:05,666
And I see this knock off
transformer called "The Flyer".
1126
00:55:05,703 --> 00:55:09,613
I didn't say anything,
but I was heartbroken.
1127
00:55:10,775 --> 00:55:12,675
I tried to hide it,
1128
00:55:12,710 --> 00:55:18,550
but I knew my mom could seethe
disappointment on my face.
1129
00:55:18,583 --> 00:55:22,230
And um, that was the last
gift she ever got me.
1130
00:55:23,854 --> 00:55:25,694
She died six months later.
1131
00:55:27,124 --> 00:55:31,134
I know I was only nine, but umm...
1132
00:55:31,161 --> 00:55:36,731
I just wish I was more
appreciative, you know.
1133
00:55:36,767 --> 00:55:39,467
I'll never forget that look on her face.
1134
00:55:42,720 --> 00:55:43,720
God.
1135
00:55:43,674 --> 00:55:47,614
Ah dude, I mean can we let's, let's,
1136
00:55:47,645 --> 00:55:50,945
let's get out of here let’s go get a beer.
1137
00:55:50,981 --> 00:55:52,781
This place is disgusting.
1138
00:55:52,817 --> 00:55:54,470
I don't want to.
1139
00:55:54,840 --> 00:55:56,954
Ugh, Jacky, Jack.
1140
00:55:56,987 --> 00:56:01,427
I know break-ups suck, but
so do new girlfriends.
1141
00:56:01,459 --> 00:56:03,890
Lets go get some of those.
1142
00:56:03,127 --> 00:56:06,270
Look dude, I know you
can’t see it right now,
1143
00:56:06,630 --> 00:56:08,633
but this was the best thing.
1144
00:56:08,666 --> 00:56:10,466
You can focus on writing again.
1145
00:56:10,501 --> 00:56:12,971
I'm glad my misery’s worked
out so well for you.
1146
00:56:13,300 --> 00:56:13,803
What?
1147
00:56:13,838 --> 00:56:14,981
Don't say that, how's it working...
1148
00:56:15,500 --> 00:56:17,605
Look, don't be hatin' me, I'm
here trying to help you.
1149
00:56:17,642 --> 00:56:19,412
You need to forget about this girl
1150
00:56:19,444 --> 00:56:21,454
and the best way to do that is
1151
00:56:21,479 --> 00:56:23,449
to bury yourself in what you love.
1152
00:56:23,481 --> 00:56:24,651
Forget it, Wilson.
1153
00:56:24,682 --> 00:56:26,522
Okay, I'm done.
1154
00:56:26,551 --> 00:56:29,591
I'm through with writing.
1155
00:56:29,620 --> 00:56:33,560
I'm not 20 years old anymore man.
1156
00:56:33,591 --> 00:56:36,561
It's time for me to try something else.
1157
00:56:36,594 --> 00:56:39,764
Yeah, great, okay, good.
1158
00:56:39,797 --> 00:56:42,197
So uhh, what then?
1159
00:56:42,232 --> 00:56:43,702
What? You’re gonna do what?
1160
00:56:43,734 --> 00:56:46,440
You're gonna go work for daddy??
1161
00:56:46,700 --> 00:56:47,440
You're gonna work for daddy!!
1162
00:56:47,472 --> 00:56:48,642
Screw you, Jack!!
1163
00:56:48,673 --> 00:56:50,851
I'm not letting you quit because
some girl broke your heart
1164
00:56:50,875 --> 00:56:53,105
and your too busy feeling
sorry for yourself.
1165
00:56:53,143 --> 00:56:55,813
Oh and uhh, by the way,
1166
00:56:55,846 --> 00:56:58,476
when we came out here we
had a deal, remember?
1167
00:56:58,516 --> 00:57:01,860
When we had some success and
then yes things fell apart
1168
00:57:01,118 --> 00:57:05,188
and it got really scary, for me
too, it got really really scary.
1169
00:57:05,222 --> 00:57:08,732
But we have another chance, right now.
1170
00:57:08,759 --> 00:57:15,629
A chance by the way buddy, I
scrambled my ass to get us.
1171
00:57:15,666 --> 00:57:18,196
So if you're gonna quit,
you're gonna quit after.
1172
00:57:18,235 --> 00:57:24,775
For now lets put away our
shit and do something great.
1173
00:57:26,811 --> 00:57:29,151
Have you been watching
Rudy again haven't you?
1174
00:57:29,179 --> 00:57:31,479
He was little but his dreams were big.
1175
00:57:37,154 --> 00:57:37,894
Okay.
1176
00:57:37,922 --> 00:57:40,562
Ahhh!
1177
00:57:40,591 --> 00:57:41,310
Okay.
1178
00:57:41,580 --> 00:57:41,688
Yeah?
1179
00:57:41,726 --> 00:57:42,326
Yeah!
1180
00:57:42,727 --> 00:57:44,757
I might have a new idea.
1181
00:57:44,795 --> 00:57:47,925
Ahh, is it set in space?
1182
00:57:47,965 --> 00:57:50,250
It is not set in space.
1183
00:57:50,670 --> 00:57:51,237
Beautiful.
1184
00:57:51,268 --> 00:57:53,238
Let me hear it.
1185
00:57:53,270 --> 00:57:54,170
Okay.
1186
00:57:54,204 --> 00:57:55,744
♪
1187
00:57:55,773 --> 00:58:03,773
(typing)
1188
00:58:05,816 --> 00:58:12,586
(typing)
1189
00:58:15,920 --> 00:58:16,532
How's my little badger?
1190
00:58:17,928 --> 00:58:18,928
Hmm?
1191
00:58:20,931 --> 00:58:23,931
Maria, I can't stand to see you like this.
1192
00:58:23,968 --> 00:58:26,698
You have to get on with your life.
1193
00:58:26,737 --> 00:58:30,577
And stop eating, you're putting on weight.
1194
00:58:30,608 --> 00:58:32,638
Gee, thanks, dad.
1195
00:58:32,677 --> 00:58:33,877
Thanks for the pep talk.
1196
00:58:34,745 --> 00:58:36,905
I'm just saying, nobody
wants a fat old wife.
1197
00:58:36,947 --> 00:58:39,577
Your weight, you can still
do something about.
1198
00:58:42,620 --> 00:58:43,620
(dog whines)
1199
00:58:45,355 --> 00:58:46,555
Where's mom?
1200
00:58:46,591 --> 00:58:47,321
Never mind your mother.
1201
00:58:47,357 --> 00:58:48,727
I know what you need.
1202
00:58:48,759 --> 00:58:50,229
I got you a present.
1203
00:58:50,661 --> 00:58:52,100
I'm picking it up later.
1204
00:58:53,363 --> 00:58:54,573
What is it?
1205
00:58:54,599 --> 00:58:56,569
It's a surprise, Maria.
1206
00:59:00,871 --> 00:59:02,641
This better not be a joke.
1207
00:59:02,673 --> 00:59:04,143
No jokes here, Maria.
1208
00:59:04,174 --> 00:59:05,944
We all know you’ve been moping around
1209
00:59:05,976 --> 00:59:08,706
because you miss a certain someone.
1210
00:59:08,746 --> 00:59:10,976
So, I brought him here.
1211
00:59:11,248 --> 00:59:12,978
(clears throat)
1212
00:59:13,383 --> 00:59:14,793
Surprise!
1213
00:59:14,819 --> 00:59:15,899
It's the Portuguese doctor!
1214
00:59:16,153 --> 00:59:17,153
Hi, Maria.
1215
00:59:17,655 --> 00:59:18,785
Hello, Paul.
1216
00:59:18,823 --> 00:59:20,593
You surprised, Maria?
1217
00:59:20,625 --> 00:59:22,255
I think I’m gonna be sick.
1218
00:59:23,227 --> 00:59:25,857
Theres nothing better for
sickness than a doctor!
1219
00:59:26,897 --> 00:59:27,897
What??
1220
00:59:31,969 --> 00:59:33,199
Maria?
1221
00:59:33,237 --> 00:59:34,237
Are you alright?!
1222
00:59:35,405 --> 00:59:37,165
Yeah, mom, I'm okay.
1223
01:00:01,666 --> 01:00:02,666
So?
1224
01:00:07,772 --> 01:00:09,712
Everything happens for a reason.
1225
01:00:09,740 --> 01:00:12,210
What the hell’s that mean?
1226
01:00:12,242 --> 01:00:14,112
It means...
1227
01:00:14,144 --> 01:00:16,984
Congratu-fricken-lations.
1228
01:00:17,140 --> 01:00:19,840
You got your funny back, Jack.
1229
01:00:19,116 --> 01:00:19,876
Yes!
1230
01:00:19,917 --> 01:00:20,747
This is brilliant.
1231
01:00:20,785 --> 01:00:21,785
It's original.
1232
01:00:21,819 --> 01:00:23,659
Man, it's unlike anything
you’ve ever written.
1233
01:00:23,688 --> 01:00:25,858
There's some structure
problems but I can fix that
1234
01:00:25,890 --> 01:00:29,600
I'll punch it up in a couple
days but wow dude wow!
1235
01:00:29,930 --> 01:00:31,733
You think we have a real shot?
1236
01:00:31,762 --> 01:00:35,332
Umm, I think we got ourselves a pilot deal.
1237
01:00:35,365 --> 01:00:35,965
Yes!
1238
01:00:36,000 --> 01:00:36,900
Well done!
1239
01:00:36,934 --> 01:00:38,374
Well done, well done.
1240
01:00:38,402 --> 01:00:39,702
Let's celebrate.
1241
01:00:39,737 --> 01:00:40,707
Cocktail hour at The Beagle.
1242
01:00:40,738 --> 01:00:43,108
I'll call Amy shes gonna
bring her friend Lisa.
1243
01:00:43,140 --> 01:00:44,710
Beautiful brunette, you will love her.
1244
01:00:44,742 --> 01:00:45,312
Lets do this.
1245
01:00:45,342 --> 01:00:46,812
I dunno.
1246
01:00:46,844 --> 01:00:48,321
No, no you haven't been out in forever.
1247
01:00:48,345 --> 01:00:50,423
You've been cooped up in
here for 48 hours straight,
1248
01:00:50,447 --> 01:00:51,747
you gotta get out.
1249
01:00:51,782 --> 01:00:53,282
And you've got to meet Lisa.
1250
01:00:55,485 --> 01:00:56,715
This Lisa.
1251
01:00:56,754 --> 01:00:58,864
She also work at the Home Hardware?
1252
01:00:58,889 --> 01:01:02,129
You know I like my women handy.
1253
01:01:02,159 --> 01:01:03,729
Alright I'll go.
1254
01:01:03,761 --> 01:01:06,161
I gotta figure out how
to fix my toilet anyway.
1255
01:01:06,196 --> 01:01:07,196
Don't lead with that.
1256
01:01:07,231 --> 01:01:09,201
Here I'll ah meet you in the car.
1257
01:01:09,233 --> 01:01:10,673
Gotta grab my cell.
1258
01:01:10,868 --> 01:01:12,898
Hurry dude!
1259
01:01:17,908 --> 01:01:25,908
♪
1260
01:01:27,952 --> 01:01:35,952
♪
1261
01:01:37,995 --> 01:01:45,995
♪
1262
01:01:47,972 --> 01:01:55,972
♪
1263
01:01:58,150 --> 01:02:06,150
♪
1264
01:02:07,992 --> 01:02:15,992
♪
1265
01:02:18,350 --> 01:02:26,350
♪
1266
01:02:28,120 --> 01:02:36,120
♪
1267
01:02:39,824 --> 01:02:44,640
(phone ringing)
1268
01:02:44,940 --> 01:02:45,964
Hey Wilson, what's up?
1269
01:02:45,996 --> 01:02:47,256
No, I'm just cleaning.
1270
01:02:47,297 --> 01:02:49,970
Why?
1271
01:02:49,133 --> 01:02:50,403
You're kidding?
1272
01:02:50,434 --> 01:02:52,404
They gave us the green-light?!
1273
01:02:52,436 --> 01:02:54,866
No, no, I'll be right there.
1274
01:02:54,905 --> 01:03:00,405
♪
1275
01:03:00,444 --> 01:03:06,254
(singing in Portuguese)
1276
01:03:06,283 --> 01:03:07,893
Mom?
1277
01:03:08,886 --> 01:03:10,460
What is it, Maria?
1278
01:03:10,387 --> 01:03:12,787
Can I talk to you for a minute mom?
1279
01:03:13,257 --> 01:03:14,357
Sure.
1280
01:03:32,342 --> 01:03:35,382
What is it, querida?
1281
01:03:35,412 --> 01:03:38,422
Uhh...
1282
01:03:38,448 --> 01:03:43,318
I don't know how to tell you this, uh,
1283
01:03:43,353 --> 01:03:45,630
I'm pregnant.
1284
01:03:45,890 --> 01:03:46,289
I know.
1285
01:03:46,323 --> 01:03:48,493
Did you tell Jack yet?
1286
01:03:48,525 --> 01:03:50,585
You knew?
1287
01:03:50,627 --> 01:03:52,897
A mother senses things.
1288
01:03:52,930 --> 01:03:55,100
Soon you will sense things too.
1289
01:03:55,132 --> 01:03:56,932
You are a lot like me, Maria.
1290
01:03:56,967 --> 01:03:59,597
But you inherited your
father’s stubbornness.
1291
01:03:59,636 --> 01:04:01,606
Mom, how am I ever gonna tell daddy?
1292
01:04:01,638 --> 01:04:02,849
He's always said he’d rather die
1293
01:04:02,873 --> 01:04:06,143
than live with the shame of an
unmarried pregnant daughter.
1294
01:04:06,176 --> 01:04:07,536
He'll get over it.
1295
01:04:07,577 --> 01:04:09,347
He loves you.
1296
01:04:09,379 --> 01:04:11,949
Your father shouldn’t be your main concern.
1297
01:04:13,984 --> 01:04:15,494
Do you really love Jack?
1298
01:04:18,255 --> 01:04:19,615
More than anything.
1299
01:04:23,270 --> 01:04:26,497
But it's just not meant to be.
1300
01:04:27,497 --> 01:04:29,670
Daddy hates him and Señora Maria
1301
01:04:29,990 --> 01:04:31,990
says that we're not meant for one another.
1302
01:04:31,135 --> 01:04:35,305
Stop trying so hard to please your father.
1303
01:04:35,339 --> 01:04:38,790
Do what you feel is in your heart.
1304
01:04:39,276 --> 01:04:41,460
As for Señora Maria,
1305
01:04:41,780 --> 01:04:44,480
I told you to stop seeing
her a long time ago.
1306
01:04:44,810 --> 01:04:45,321
I know.
1307
01:04:45,349 --> 01:04:46,919
You can't keep relying on her, Maria.
1308
01:04:46,951 --> 01:04:48,929
What happened to Marco would
have happened anyway...
1309
01:04:48,953 --> 01:04:51,463
With or without you.
1310
01:04:51,488 --> 01:04:53,158
But she was right.
1311
01:04:54,324 --> 01:04:56,334
Just like she was right about my job,
1312
01:04:56,360 --> 01:04:58,630
right about Uncle Joao's tumor.
1313
01:04:58,662 --> 01:05:01,102
Mom, she’s always right!
1314
01:05:06,670 --> 01:05:08,100
Not always.
1315
01:05:11,475 --> 01:05:19,475
When I was younger, I was
madly in love with this boy.
1316
01:05:20,484 --> 01:05:25,194
When I was with him nothing else mattered.
1317
01:05:25,222 --> 01:05:29,992
He made time stand still.
1318
01:05:30,270 --> 01:05:33,397
Oh, I had a very bad case of love brain.
1319
01:05:34,631 --> 01:05:37,401
Oh god, could he make me laugh.
1320
01:05:39,136 --> 01:05:40,436
We were always laughing.
1321
01:05:42,106 --> 01:05:45,506
So one day he asked me to marry him.
1322
01:05:45,542 --> 01:05:47,442
That night, I prayed to God,
1323
01:05:47,477 --> 01:05:51,447
that Señora Maria would see
a bright future for us,
1324
01:05:51,481 --> 01:05:53,151
that we were a good match.
1325
01:05:55,719 --> 01:05:57,289
When we went to see her,
1326
01:05:57,321 --> 01:06:00,291
she looked me straight in the eye and said,
1327
01:06:00,324 --> 01:06:01,594
"He's not the one".
1328
01:06:03,393 --> 01:06:04,393
You see...
1329
01:06:07,197 --> 01:06:10,267
I knew he was the one,
1330
01:06:13,570 --> 01:06:16,270
I didn't dare go against the community.
1331
01:06:16,306 --> 01:06:18,736
You know how Portuguese people talk.
1332
01:06:20,144 --> 01:06:26,324
So, we broke up and it broke my heart.
1333
01:06:26,350 --> 01:06:29,790
A week later, Señora Maria
was calling him every day.
1334
01:06:29,819 --> 01:06:33,189
She wouldn't give any body
permission to marry him.
1335
01:06:35,492 --> 01:06:38,362
I ended up getting married
six months later.
1336
01:06:41,231 --> 01:06:44,371
Señora Maria was in love with dad?
1337
01:06:46,700 --> 01:06:47,170
No.
1338
01:06:49,506 --> 01:06:51,406
She was in love with Uncle Joao.
1339
01:06:54,311 --> 01:06:57,211
But that would mean that
you and Uncle Joao...
1340
01:06:57,247 --> 01:06:58,717
Were madly in love.
1341
01:07:01,251 --> 01:07:03,251
When I wasn't given
permission to marry him,
1342
01:07:03,287 --> 01:07:05,417
I was introduced to his older brother,
1343
01:07:05,455 --> 01:07:09,385
your father, and I settled down.
1344
01:07:11,861 --> 01:07:16,201
Not knowing the future
can be very frightening.
1345
01:07:16,233 --> 01:07:17,733
But it's the beauty of life.
1346
01:07:20,770 --> 01:07:22,640
Lose your fears, Querida.
1347
01:07:23,507 --> 01:07:26,577
Stop trying to control the
future and start living it.
1348
01:07:26,776 --> 01:07:28,776
Everybody makes mistakes.
1349
01:07:29,546 --> 01:07:35,316
But if you're too scared
to make them on your own...
1350
01:07:35,352 --> 01:07:38,162
You might miss out on something wonderful.
1351
01:07:42,559 --> 01:07:43,559
Querida.
1352
01:07:46,230 --> 01:07:51,170
I should have listened to
my heart, not Señora Maria.
1353
01:07:51,201 --> 01:07:56,641
♪
1354
01:07:56,673 --> 01:07:59,343
(rain pattering)
1355
01:07:59,376 --> 01:08:07,376
(thunder rumbling)
1356
01:08:10,220 --> 01:08:13,460
Hello Jack, I'm umm, I'm pregnant.
1357
01:08:14,658 --> 01:08:15,658
Uhh.
1358
01:08:15,825 --> 01:08:17,885
Hello Jack, how are you?
1359
01:08:17,927 --> 01:08:20,597
I'm umm, I-I-I'm pregnant.
1360
01:08:21,465 --> 01:08:26,835
No um, hey Jack, umm, guess what?
1361
01:08:27,471 --> 01:08:29,371
Oh come on dummy get a grip.
1362
01:08:29,773 --> 01:08:31,243
(deep exhale)
1363
01:08:32,409 --> 01:08:33,779
Okay.
1364
01:08:33,810 --> 01:08:41,810
(rain pattering)
1365
01:08:43,853 --> 01:08:51,853
(rain pattering)
1366
01:08:53,230 --> 01:09:01,230
(crying)
1367
01:09:05,809 --> 01:09:13,479
(thunder rumbles loudly)
1368
01:09:13,517 --> 01:09:21,517
(crying)
1369
01:09:23,560 --> 01:09:30,200
(crying)
1370
01:09:34,438 --> 01:09:35,468
And, cut!
1371
01:09:36,540 --> 01:09:38,680
Perfect, it's looking great
guys, looking great.
1372
01:09:38,708 --> 01:09:41,878
Can we take it one more time
from the top of this scene?
1373
01:09:41,911 --> 01:09:42,851
Mhmm, yeah.
1374
01:09:42,879 --> 01:09:43,779
Wanna find another joke here?
1375
01:09:43,813 --> 01:09:45,923
Yeah, I'll figure it
out, I'll figure it out.
1376
01:09:45,949 --> 01:09:47,349
It's great though, it's great.
1377
01:09:47,384 --> 01:09:48,894
Brian, this time deliver the line
1378
01:09:48,918 --> 01:09:51,358
about the underwear with frustration.
1379
01:09:51,388 --> 01:09:53,418
Like you can't believe
she’d even suggest that.
1380
01:09:59,763 --> 01:10:02,203
It looks like the sun will be up soon.
1381
01:10:02,899 --> 01:10:03,899
Yeah.
1382
01:10:04,901 --> 01:10:09,371
This is my favorite time,
right before dawn.
1383
01:10:09,406 --> 01:10:10,636
So peaceful.
1384
01:10:12,876 --> 01:10:16,606
Before anyone's has had a chance
to step out and ruin it all.
1385
01:10:23,487 --> 01:10:26,957
When I first came in here you
were listening to something,
1386
01:10:26,990 --> 01:10:27,990
what was it?
1387
01:10:31,695 --> 01:10:34,225
It's a song my cousin wrote.
1388
01:10:34,931 --> 01:10:36,501
It's kinda sad.
1389
01:10:36,533 --> 01:10:37,733
Mind if I listen?
1390
01:10:42,372 --> 01:10:45,842
Okay, come sit next to me
1391
01:11:00,990 --> 01:11:08,990
♪
1392
01:11:11,340 --> 01:11:19,340
♪
1393
01:11:23,647 --> 01:11:27,547
(speaking in Portuguese)
1394
01:11:27,584 --> 01:11:31,394
♪ Time's running out
1395
01:11:31,421 --> 01:11:39,421
♪ Only minutes away from saying goodbye ♪
1396
01:11:40,597 --> 01:11:44,527
♪ Will I see you again? ♪
1397
01:11:44,568 --> 01:11:52,568
♪ Can't let something this
perfect come to an end ♪
1398
01:11:53,843 --> 01:12:01,123
♪ So close, but yet so far,
thought I knew just who you are ♪
1399
01:12:01,150 --> 01:12:07,360
♪ Breaking down
1400
01:12:07,391 --> 01:12:10,631
♪ My heart is through and through ♪
1401
01:12:10,660 --> 01:12:15,370
♪ How is it that you cant see you... ♪
1402
01:12:15,399 --> 01:12:20,599
♪ Are the one for me? ♪
1403
01:12:20,637 --> 01:12:26,977
♪ We almost had it all
1404
01:12:27,100 --> 01:12:33,780
♪ But lost it somehow
1405
01:12:33,817 --> 01:12:40,870
♪ My heart was placed with hope ♪
1406
01:12:40,123 --> 01:12:47,403
♪ But the flicker's going out ♪
1407
01:12:50,700 --> 01:12:56,410
♪ We almost had it all
1408
01:12:57,730 --> 01:13:03,413
♪ But fate has taken you ♪
1409
01:13:03,780 --> 01:13:11,780
(chatter)
1410
01:13:16,726 --> 01:13:18,726
Ladies and gentleman you’ve
all been so wonderful
1411
01:13:18,762 --> 01:13:21,532
and so patient, we're gonna be
going in about five minutes.
1412
01:13:21,565 --> 01:13:22,425
Enjoy the show!
1413
01:13:22,466 --> 01:13:24,766
(clapping)
1414
01:13:27,904 --> 01:13:29,214
(blowing air rhythmically)
1415
01:13:29,238 --> 01:13:31,208
Five minutes buddy!
1416
01:13:31,240 --> 01:13:32,880
We are gonna kill this.
1417
01:13:32,909 --> 01:13:34,900
What if we don't, huh?
1418
01:13:34,430 --> 01:13:36,913
What if our show ends up like
the "Marty's Party" pilot.
1419
01:13:36,946 --> 01:13:38,716
What is that I never saw that?
1420
01:13:38,748 --> 01:13:39,548
Exactly!
1421
01:13:39,583 --> 01:13:40,523
The studio audience was so silent
1422
01:13:40,550 --> 01:13:42,520
they pulled the plug before the second act!
1423
01:13:42,552 --> 01:13:44,522
Hey shh, that is not gonna happen here.
1424
01:13:44,554 --> 01:13:45,724
We are gonna rock this!
1425
01:13:45,755 --> 01:13:47,115
I promise you.
1426
01:13:47,156 --> 01:13:49,626
I need this, Wilson, this is my last shot.
1427
01:13:49,659 --> 01:13:51,290
I can't work at a Starbucks,
1428
01:13:51,600 --> 01:13:53,500
the learning curve there looks ridiculous!
1429
01:13:53,530 --> 01:13:54,700
Hey, guys.
1430
01:13:54,731 --> 01:13:56,671
What do think of Señora Maria's make-up?
1431
01:13:56,700 --> 01:13:57,830
I like it.
1432
01:13:57,867 --> 01:13:58,567
Looks good.
1433
01:13:58,602 --> 01:14:00,572
Let's make her creepier, huh?
1434
01:14:00,604 --> 01:14:02,574
Break a leg.
1435
01:14:02,606 --> 01:14:03,936
Break legs, Thelma.
1436
01:14:03,973 --> 01:14:06,983
Break legs!
1437
01:14:07,100 --> 01:14:08,180
Nice.
1438
01:14:09,450 --> 01:14:10,105
Here we go.
1439
01:14:11,147 --> 01:14:12,117
I don't care.
1440
01:14:12,148 --> 01:14:14,578
Mr. Bojangles totally
threw me under the bus.
1441
01:14:14,618 --> 01:14:16,248
(crowd laughing)
1442
01:14:16,285 --> 01:14:17,745
Don't blame Mr. Bojangles.
1443
01:14:17,787 --> 01:14:18,887
(crowd laughing)
1444
01:14:18,922 --> 01:14:20,492
You know, I specifically asked you
1445
01:14:20,524 --> 01:14:22,940
if you threw out the bathroom garbage.
1446
01:14:22,125 --> 01:14:24,785
And you said, "Yes!"
1447
01:14:24,828 --> 01:14:27,280
I thought I did.
1448
01:14:27,630 --> 01:14:29,903
I'm sorry!
1449
01:14:29,933 --> 01:14:32,703
So...
1450
01:14:32,736 --> 01:14:34,566
No uhhh, sex tonight?
1451
01:14:34,604 --> 01:14:38,744
(audience laughing)
1452
01:14:38,775 --> 01:14:41,775
Yes! Yes!
1453
01:14:41,811 --> 01:14:42,681
(exhale)
1454
01:14:42,712 --> 01:14:48,552
(audience clapping)
1455
01:14:48,585 --> 01:14:50,515
C'mon man, c'mon!
1456
01:14:50,554 --> 01:14:52,794
(laughing)
1457
01:14:52,822 --> 01:14:55,222
Don't make fun of Señora Maria!!
1458
01:14:55,258 --> 01:14:57,928
Oh, come on, she's a
freakin' fortune teller!!!
1459
01:14:57,961 --> 01:14:59,901
(laughing)
1460
01:14:59,929 --> 01:15:02,290
Who always happens to always be right!
1461
01:15:02,650 --> 01:15:05,665
She was right about my
dad, right about your mom,
1462
01:15:05,702 --> 01:15:07,902
right about my dad hooking
up with your mom!
1463
01:15:07,937 --> 01:15:10,767
(crowd laughing)
1464
01:15:10,807 --> 01:15:12,700
She's never wrong!
1465
01:15:12,410 --> 01:15:15,311
Well, she’s wrong about us.
1466
01:15:15,344 --> 01:15:17,684
All I know, is what I know.
1467
01:15:17,714 --> 01:15:21,540
And that's that...
1468
01:15:21,840 --> 01:15:23,194
I love you.
1469
01:15:23,219 --> 01:15:28,890
This is about you and me, not
about you, me and Señora Maria!
1470
01:15:28,124 --> 01:15:29,764
You called?!
1471
01:15:29,793 --> 01:15:37,793
(audience clapping and laughing)
1472
01:15:39,836 --> 01:15:47,136
(audience clapping and laughing)
1473
01:16:05,228 --> 01:16:06,198
What do you want?
1474
01:16:06,229 --> 01:16:07,799
I need to speak with Maria.
1475
01:16:07,831 --> 01:16:09,231
You've done enough to Maria!
1476
01:16:09,265 --> 01:16:12,995
I'm not leaving until I speak to her.
1477
01:16:13,360 --> 01:16:15,666
I should kill you for
what you did to Maria!
1478
01:16:15,705 --> 01:16:16,835
You have no respect!
1479
01:16:16,873 --> 01:16:19,743
You come here and use my front door?!
1480
01:16:19,776 --> 01:16:21,206
Nobody uses my front door!
1481
01:16:21,244 --> 01:16:22,384
Not even the mailman!
1482
01:16:22,411 --> 01:16:23,851
I'm not leaving.
1483
01:16:23,880 --> 01:16:25,800
Maria: Daddy, who is it??
1484
01:16:25,114 --> 01:16:25,784
Nobody...
1485
01:16:25,815 --> 01:16:26,875
Maria, It's me!
1486
01:16:26,916 --> 01:16:28,316
I have to talk to you.
1487
01:16:28,351 --> 01:16:31,151
(sigh)
1488
01:16:31,187 --> 01:16:32,817
There's nothing left to say Jack.
1489
01:16:32,856 --> 01:16:34,560
I still love you.
1490
01:16:34,900 --> 01:16:35,860
Do you still love me?
1491
01:16:35,892 --> 01:16:36,832
What are you doing?
1492
01:16:36,860 --> 01:16:38,900
I'll do anything for
another chance with us.
1493
01:16:38,928 --> 01:16:40,198
Whatever it takes...
1494
01:16:40,229 --> 01:16:42,669
Too much time has passed and I've moved on
1495
01:16:42,699 --> 01:16:43,699
and so have you.
1496
01:16:43,733 --> 01:16:44,703
That's not true.
1497
01:16:44,734 --> 01:16:46,744
I just finished shooting
my show and it's all...
1498
01:16:46,770 --> 01:16:49,100
I'm not feeling well.
1499
01:16:49,380 --> 01:16:50,338
Goodbye, Jack.
1500
01:16:52,709 --> 01:16:55,339
All you've ever done is upset her.
1501
01:16:55,378 --> 01:17:03,378
♪
1502
01:17:05,822 --> 01:17:13,822
♪
1503
01:17:15,464 --> 01:17:23,464
♪
1504
01:17:28,344 --> 01:17:30,684
Oh, what the hell?!
1505
01:17:30,714 --> 01:17:32,284
Oops, sorry, we uhh...
1506
01:17:32,315 --> 01:17:34,115
We came here to you to celebrate
1507
01:17:34,150 --> 01:17:36,290
and you weren’t here so we...
1508
01:17:36,319 --> 01:17:38,989
We kinda started without you.
1509
01:17:39,220 --> 01:17:40,220
Hey, hey, Jack, uhh...
1510
01:17:40,560 --> 01:17:41,356
Hey.
1511
01:17:41,390 --> 01:17:44,190
Uh, Lisa from plumbing asks
about you all the time.
1512
01:17:44,227 --> 01:17:45,997
Hey dude, we did it!
1513
01:17:46,290 --> 01:17:48,259
The network ordered 12episodes right away!
1514
01:17:48,297 --> 01:17:49,927
We totally banged it man!!
1515
01:17:49,966 --> 01:17:52,966
Amy, can I talk to Wilson alone for a sec?
1516
01:17:53,200 --> 01:17:56,242
Yeah, yeah of course.
1517
01:17:56,272 --> 01:18:00,212
I'll uhh, see you in the
truck my little samosa.
1518
01:18:00,810 --> 01:18:02,110
Yes, yes, yes.
1519
01:18:02,145 --> 01:18:03,905
My big big hammer.
1520
01:18:04,280 --> 01:18:05,350
Dude, were you mad
1521
01:18:05,381 --> 01:18:08,510
that I was getting my pipes
cleaned on your couch?
1522
01:18:08,840 --> 01:18:09,194
No.
1523
01:18:09,218 --> 01:18:11,448
I bet you wish you had sprung
for scotch-guard now huh.
1524
01:18:11,487 --> 01:18:13,817
(raspy laugh)
1525
01:18:13,857 --> 01:18:16,157
You should be drinking with me, we did it!
1526
01:18:16,192 --> 01:18:18,762
They're talking about a
Thursday night time slot man!
1527
01:18:18,795 --> 01:18:22,725
I went to see Maria.
1528
01:18:22,766 --> 01:18:24,996
And cancelled before we aired.
1529
01:18:25,340 --> 01:18:28,814
She wouldn't hear me out and
I don't know what to do.
1530
01:18:28,838 --> 01:18:30,438
This isn't going away, is it?
1531
01:18:30,473 --> 01:18:35,513
When we were writing, it was
like I was still with her.
1532
01:18:35,544 --> 01:18:37,184
I know it’s pathetic.
1533
01:18:37,213 --> 01:18:38,513
No, I get it.
1534
01:18:38,547 --> 01:18:40,317
I get it now that we're done
1535
01:18:40,349 --> 01:18:42,749
you feel like you’re
losing her all over again.
1536
01:18:45,210 --> 01:18:46,321
Ah, shit buddy.
1537
01:18:50,493 --> 01:18:51,863
Alright.
1538
01:18:55,131 --> 01:18:56,431
I know what to do.
1539
01:19:04,273 --> 01:19:05,943
Here we go, here we go.
1540
01:19:06,475 --> 01:19:07,475
You ready?
1541
01:19:08,111 --> 01:19:10,251
This is stupid.
1542
01:19:10,947 --> 01:19:12,447
I love you.
1543
01:19:13,490 --> 01:19:14,449
Lets do this.
1544
01:19:14,918 --> 01:19:16,948
Come on, come on.
1545
01:19:18,121 --> 01:19:19,521
This is never gonna work Wilson.
1546
01:19:19,555 --> 01:19:20,785
Yes it will.
1547
01:19:20,824 --> 01:19:24,794
Look, all you gotta do is get
the old broad to give you the
1548
01:19:24,828 --> 01:19:27,198
thumbs up and then Maria
will take you back.
1549
01:19:27,230 --> 01:19:29,700
Okay, lets do this.
1550
01:19:29,980 --> 01:19:30,980
Hey, there.
1551
01:19:33,436 --> 01:19:34,936
Money.
1552
01:19:35,304 --> 01:19:36,874
Nice to see you too.
1553
01:19:36,906 --> 01:19:37,836
Want me to...
1554
01:19:37,874 --> 01:19:39,840
Alright.
1555
01:19:39,108 --> 01:19:40,808
I know it’s nuts, right?
1556
01:19:40,844 --> 01:19:42,454
But what do you got to lose?
1557
01:19:42,478 --> 01:19:43,908
Nothing.
1558
01:19:45,480 --> 01:19:46,425
You're like a little Portuguese ninja.
1559
01:19:46,449 --> 01:19:47,849
Shhh!
1560
01:19:51,387 --> 01:19:53,357
♪
1561
01:19:53,389 --> 01:19:57,459
I see a quarrel in your
past that haunts you.
1562
01:19:57,493 --> 01:19:59,163
I see a reunion!
1563
01:20:00,263 --> 01:20:01,303
A man...
1564
01:20:01,898 --> 01:20:03,528
Apologizing.
1565
01:20:03,566 --> 01:20:04,626
Your father...
1566
01:20:06,690 --> 01:20:10,469
He feels guilty because he
forced you to play sports.
1567
01:20:10,506 --> 01:20:13,136
He realizes that he's been
1568
01:20:13,176 --> 01:20:16,106
trying to live his dreams through you.
1569
01:20:16,145 --> 01:20:17,375
That never happened.
1570
01:20:17,413 --> 01:20:19,153
I'm talking to him!
1571
01:20:19,182 --> 01:20:20,382
Oh my god.
1572
01:20:20,416 --> 01:20:22,146
That makes so much sense now.
1573
01:20:22,185 --> 01:20:25,385
He named me after a volleyball...
1574
01:20:25,421 --> 01:20:29,231
Look Señora Maria, kay we are
here to see my future, not his.
1575
01:20:29,258 --> 01:20:30,428
He paid, not you.
1576
01:20:30,459 --> 01:20:35,229
Jack I gotta go, I gotta call my dad.
1577
01:20:38,100 --> 01:20:41,201
♪
1578
01:20:41,237 --> 01:20:44,407
I see you chasing a woman.
1579
01:20:44,440 --> 01:20:46,210
No wait...
1580
01:20:46,242 --> 01:20:47,542
Another.
1581
01:20:48,440 --> 01:20:50,354
I see you chasing two women.
1582
01:20:50,379 --> 01:20:51,579
That can't be.
1583
01:20:51,614 --> 01:20:52,484
Who are they?
1584
01:20:52,515 --> 01:20:54,150
I see Maria.
1585
01:20:54,500 --> 01:20:55,620
Who's the other?
1586
01:20:55,651 --> 01:20:57,421
Hmmmmm.
1587
01:20:57,453 --> 01:20:59,363
It's to murky, I can't tell.
1588
01:20:59,388 --> 01:21:00,658
(deep sigh)
1589
01:21:00,689 --> 01:21:03,629
No no, wait...
1590
01:21:03,659 --> 01:21:05,389
I see an Isabella.
1591
01:21:05,428 --> 01:21:07,580
Okay, look, Señora Maria.
1592
01:21:07,960 --> 01:21:08,260
Here's the deal.
1593
01:21:08,640 --> 01:21:10,740
Ok, I don't know who
this Isabella chick is,
1594
01:21:10,990 --> 01:21:11,529
but I'm in love with Maria.
1595
01:21:11,567 --> 01:21:14,397
I really need you to do
a new reading for us.
1596
01:21:14,437 --> 01:21:17,700
I need you to tell her we're a good match.
1597
01:21:17,400 --> 01:21:19,910
No Maria, no reading.
1598
01:21:19,943 --> 01:21:23,213
Then please call her Señora Maria
1599
01:21:23,246 --> 01:21:26,476
tell her you want to do a new reading.
1600
01:21:26,515 --> 01:21:29,515
Just please, I'm desperate here.
1601
01:21:29,552 --> 01:21:31,292
You're my last chance.
1602
01:21:35,224 --> 01:21:40,264
So, now you want the voo-doo lady's help?
1603
01:21:40,296 --> 01:21:42,296
You should have been a believer!
1604
01:21:47,603 --> 01:21:51,130
It's an international flight, you know?
1605
01:21:51,400 --> 01:21:52,510
You're never gonna make it.
1606
01:21:53,900 --> 01:21:55,239
Ahh, I'll drive fast.
1607
01:21:56,445 --> 01:21:58,905
I've got a few more minutes.
1608
01:22:00,984 --> 01:22:02,694
Ahhhh.
1609
01:22:02,718 --> 01:22:04,918
Doesn’t feel real to me.
1610
01:22:05,188 --> 01:22:06,258
What?
1611
01:22:06,722 --> 01:22:08,422
Everything.
1612
01:22:08,457 --> 01:22:10,257
This whole night.
1613
01:22:10,293 --> 01:22:14,263
You, me, this diner.
1614
01:22:14,297 --> 01:22:17,327
It's like we're inside this other world
1615
01:22:17,366 --> 01:22:20,436
and nothing outside of this booth exists.
1616
01:22:22,271 --> 01:22:26,381
It's like ah, were Ina zombie movie
1617
01:22:26,409 --> 01:22:29,179
and we're the last two
people on the planet.
1618
01:22:29,212 --> 01:22:30,412
Yeah.
1619
01:22:31,380 --> 01:22:32,750
And like we’ve known each other...
1620
01:22:32,781 --> 01:22:35,351
Both: Forever.
1621
01:22:41,490 --> 01:22:42,590
Jack?
1622
01:22:42,625 --> 01:22:46,155
What's the craziest thing
you’ve ever done for love?
1623
01:22:48,297 --> 01:22:49,127
Start the truck!
1624
01:22:49,165 --> 01:22:49,925
Start the truck!!!
1625
01:22:49,965 --> 01:22:51,495
What the hell are you doing?!!!
1626
01:22:51,534 --> 01:22:52,744
This is kidnapping!
1627
01:22:52,768 --> 01:22:54,168
If Maria won’t come here.
1628
01:22:54,203 --> 01:22:56,143
I'll bring Señora Maria to her.
1629
01:22:56,172 --> 01:22:57,142
Are you insane?!
1630
01:22:57,173 --> 01:22:58,213
This is kidnapping!!!
1631
01:22:58,241 --> 01:22:59,581
Wilson, a little help!
1632
01:22:59,608 --> 01:23:04,108
Put me down you son of a bitch.
1633
01:23:04,147 --> 01:23:07,517
I curse you so that bad luck
will be the only luck you have!
1634
01:23:07,550 --> 01:23:09,900
She seems angry.
1635
01:23:11,654 --> 01:23:12,424
What is she doing?
1636
01:23:12,455 --> 01:23:14,415
She's trying to give me evil eye.
1637
01:23:14,457 --> 01:23:15,417
What does that mean?
1638
01:23:15,458 --> 01:23:17,280
It's a European thing.
1639
01:23:19,162 --> 01:23:20,602
Amy, get us out of here.
1640
01:23:20,629 --> 01:23:22,499
Go, go, go, go, go, go.
1641
01:23:22,531 --> 01:23:25,301
Señora Maria: I am cursing
the Patriots too!
1642
01:23:25,334 --> 01:23:27,440
Jack: Leave them out of this!
1643
01:23:28,771 --> 01:23:29,541
Stop hugging me.
1644
01:23:29,572 --> 01:23:30,542
I'm not hugging you.
1645
01:23:30,573 --> 01:23:32,443
It feels like a hug, let go!
1646
01:23:36,645 --> 01:23:38,405
It didn't have to be like this!
1647
01:23:38,447 --> 01:23:39,147
Come on.
1648
01:23:39,182 --> 01:23:41,752
I'm not going anywhere with you!
1649
01:23:41,784 --> 01:23:43,194
Amy: Everybody put gloves on!
1650
01:23:43,219 --> 01:23:43,949
Come on out.
1651
01:23:43,986 --> 01:23:45,786
I am not coming out of this truck
1652
01:23:45,821 --> 01:23:47,391
Don't make me come in there.
1653
01:23:47,423 --> 01:23:50,393
You have to kill me to get
me out of this truck.
1654
01:23:50,426 --> 01:23:51,226
Hey!
1655
01:23:51,260 --> 01:23:55,430
What are you doing?!
1656
01:23:55,464 --> 01:23:58,804
Whoo-oooo, she is nimble.
1657
01:23:58,834 --> 01:23:59,774
I'm impressed.
1658
01:23:59,802 --> 01:24:01,342
Listen to me, Señora Maria.
1659
01:24:01,370 --> 01:24:03,740
You are gonna tell Maria
we are a good match!
1660
01:24:03,772 --> 01:24:05,572
You got it?!
1661
01:24:05,608 --> 01:24:08,780
Okay.
1662
01:24:08,111 --> 01:24:09,181
Son of a bitch!
1663
01:24:09,212 --> 01:24:10,212
She bit me!
1664
01:24:10,246 --> 01:24:11,206
Amy you got her?
1665
01:24:11,247 --> 01:24:12,217
Oh, I got her.
1666
01:24:12,248 --> 01:24:13,780
Jack, you alright?
1667
01:24:13,116 --> 01:24:14,216
Come on, lets do this!
1668
01:24:14,250 --> 01:24:15,250
Maria!!!
1669
01:24:16,319 --> 01:24:17,349
Maria!!!
1670
01:24:17,886 --> 01:24:19,716
I've brought our little friend!!
1671
01:24:24,593 --> 01:24:25,833
What are you doing here?!
1672
01:24:25,861 --> 01:24:27,631
I though you’d give up by now!
1673
01:24:27,663 --> 01:24:29,833
If that's what you thought Señor Moniz
1674
01:24:29,865 --> 01:24:31,495
then you don't know Jack.
1675
01:24:31,534 --> 01:24:34,104
Does anyone have a pen?!
1676
01:24:34,137 --> 01:24:35,497
Call the police, Jose.
1677
01:24:35,538 --> 01:24:37,608
This guy is maluco!
1678
01:24:37,640 --> 01:24:39,240
(speaking Portuguese)
1679
01:24:39,608 --> 01:24:41,438
What are you doing here, Jack?
1680
01:24:41,477 --> 01:24:43,507
You wouldn't hear me out before,
1681
01:24:43,546 --> 01:24:45,746
but I knew you’d listen to Señora Maria
1682
01:24:45,781 --> 01:24:47,251
if I brought her here.
1683
01:24:47,283 --> 01:24:49,393
So, go ahead, ask her.
1684
01:24:49,418 --> 01:24:51,688
Maria, he is not the man for you!
1685
01:24:51,720 --> 01:24:54,190
He has no place in your future!
1686
01:24:54,223 --> 01:24:55,293
He will curse you!!
1687
01:24:55,324 --> 01:24:56,634
You shut up!
1688
01:24:56,659 --> 01:24:58,259
I'm sick of listening to you!!
1689
01:24:58,294 --> 01:24:59,604
Jose: Maria, some respect!
1690
01:24:59,628 --> 01:25:00,758
Not now.
1691
01:25:00,796 --> 01:25:01,596
I demand...
1692
01:25:01,630 --> 01:25:03,230
Enough, dad!!
1693
01:25:03,266 --> 01:25:05,626
I am sick and tired of being guilted
1694
01:25:05,668 --> 01:25:09,168
and listening to how everyone
thinks I should live my life.
1695
01:25:09,205 --> 01:25:11,505
Sometimes bad things just happen.
1696
01:25:11,540 --> 01:25:16,380
Because they do, not because I'm cursed.
1697
01:25:16,412 --> 01:25:18,512
A lousy coincidence...
1698
01:25:18,547 --> 01:25:20,517
That's all they've ever been.
1699
01:25:23,186 --> 01:25:27,616
But there is one person I
would like to hear from...
1700
01:25:27,656 --> 01:25:29,426
So, go ahead Jack.
1701
01:25:29,458 --> 01:25:37,458
Maria, I came here because I
wanted Señora Maria's blessing.
1702
01:25:38,667 --> 01:25:40,797
But the truth is...
1703
01:25:40,836 --> 01:25:42,806
I don’t believe in her.
1704
01:25:42,838 --> 01:25:44,808
I-I tried, but...
1705
01:25:44,840 --> 01:25:46,440
I can't.
1706
01:25:46,475 --> 01:25:48,575
Because I can’t believe in anything
1707
01:25:48,611 --> 01:25:52,421
that would want to keep us apart.
1708
01:25:52,448 --> 01:25:56,848
All I know, is what I know.
1709
01:25:56,885 --> 01:25:59,315
And that’s that I love you.
1710
01:26:00,756 --> 01:26:03,326
From the first moment we met, I knew it.
1711
01:26:03,359 --> 01:26:05,589
I knew my life would never be the same.
1712
01:26:05,628 --> 01:26:08,398
And it hasn't.
1713
01:26:08,431 --> 01:26:10,701
I've missed you, Maria.
1714
01:26:10,733 --> 01:26:13,473
I have missed your
ridiculous superstitions,
1715
01:26:13,502 --> 01:26:16,272
your snoring, your obsessive cleaning.
1716
01:26:16,305 --> 01:26:17,565
I don't snore.
1717
01:26:18,974 --> 01:26:21,684
I even miss your insane family.
1718
01:26:21,710 --> 01:26:22,780
Sorry, guys.
1719
01:26:22,811 --> 01:26:24,311
Nahhh.
1720
01:26:24,347 --> 01:26:26,577
I've missed it all.
1721
01:26:26,615 --> 01:26:28,675
If you really feel that way Jack...
1722
01:26:28,717 --> 01:26:31,517
Then why did I see you
kissing that other woman?
1723
01:26:31,554 --> 01:26:32,424
What?
1724
01:26:32,455 --> 01:26:33,855
What woman?
1725
01:26:33,889 --> 01:26:35,289
The brunette, Jack.
1726
01:26:35,324 --> 01:26:38,494
I saw you kissing her at your place.
1727
01:26:38,527 --> 01:26:39,257
No!
1728
01:26:39,295 --> 01:26:40,325
No, no, no.
1729
01:26:40,363 --> 01:26:43,673
That was an actor who was
kissing another actor
1730
01:26:43,699 --> 01:26:46,839
who just kinda looks like me.
1731
01:26:46,869 --> 01:26:50,309
I know that sounds like
bullshit, but it's not.
1732
01:26:50,339 --> 01:26:51,939
I was directing them for my show,
1733
01:26:51,974 --> 01:26:54,784
which is all about you
and me and Señora Maria
1734
01:26:54,810 --> 01:26:56,280
and your family.
1735
01:26:56,312 --> 01:26:59,352
That's what I was trying to tell you.
1736
01:26:59,382 --> 01:27:01,382
A lot has changed, Jack.
1737
01:27:01,417 --> 01:27:09,417
♪
1738
01:27:11,627 --> 01:27:15,927
Would you feel the same way...
1739
01:27:15,964 --> 01:27:17,400
If you knew?
1740
01:27:20,350 --> 01:27:21,465
You're uhh...
1741
01:27:24,440 --> 01:27:26,100
Immaculate conception?
1742
01:27:31,547 --> 01:27:33,577
I'm gonna be a dad.
1743
01:27:33,616 --> 01:27:40,616
♪
1744
01:27:40,656 --> 01:27:41,656
(exhale)
1745
01:27:42,240 --> 01:27:44,394
(groaning)
1746
01:27:44,427 --> 01:27:46,897
What is it, what's the matter?
1747
01:27:46,929 --> 01:27:49,529
I think my water just broke.
1748
01:27:49,565 --> 01:27:50,625
Someone Callan ambulance!
1749
01:27:50,666 --> 01:27:51,766
Nonsense!
1750
01:27:51,800 --> 01:27:54,770
Maria's decided on a traditional
Portuguese home birth.
1751
01:27:54,803 --> 01:27:57,613
So, I'm calling the middle
wife, please bring her in.
1752
01:27:57,640 --> 01:27:58,970
♪
1753
01:27:59,700 --> 01:28:00,700
(maria groaning)
108652
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish (Latin American)
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof