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The Enterprise is preparing
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to leave Beta III in star system C-111.
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Sociologist Lindstrom
is remaining behind
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00:00:08,943 --> 00:00:11,229
with a party of experts
who will help restore
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00:00:11,232 --> 00:00:14,732
the planet's culture to a human form.
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The Late Landru, Captain.
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A marvelous feat of engineering.
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A computer capable
of directing the lives
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of millions of human beings.
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But only a machine, Mr. Spock.
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00:00:23,787 --> 00:00:26,143
The original Landru programmed
it with all his knowledge,
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but he couldn't give it
his wisdom, his compassion,
13
00:00:28,541 --> 00:00:30,494
his understanding, his soul.
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I prefer the concrete, the
graspable, the provable.
15
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You'd make a splendid
computer, Mr. Spock.
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That is very kind of you, Captain.
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That's humorous, because Spock
is half human and half Vulcan.
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But he's ashamed of his human side.
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That's why I identify with him.
20
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Good luck.
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I gravitate a little more towards Kirk.
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Why?
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Be-cause... everything
24
00:00:55,074 --> 00:00:56,707
he says...
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he makes sound so im-portant.
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I should hope so... He's the captain.
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Sheldon.
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Do me a favor.
29
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Go help your brother study
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for his math test tomorrow.
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Is that really a good use of my time?
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Come on. I'm asking nice.
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If he doesn't pass, he won't
be able to play football.
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You realize he's often mean to me.
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So? Your mother's mean to
me. I still try to be helpful.
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Does she break wind on your head?
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Because that's what Georgie does to me.
38
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Can you help me out here?
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I'll do it if you take
me to the train store.
40
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You got it.
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And buy me whatever I want.
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Connie, what are you doing?
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Just providing my grandson
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with financial guidance.
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Don't mock the captain.
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If Georgie passes his test,
I'll get you whatever you want...
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Under 20 bucks.
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Deal.
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00:01:57,170 --> 00:01:59,036
Why?
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I guess I like him better than you.
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Georgie?
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- What?
- Dad told me
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to help you study for the math test.
54
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I don't need your help. Get lost.
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Georgie, let him help you!
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Fine. Come in!
57
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Oh, dear.
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What's your problem?
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No problem. I'll just...
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tidy while we talk.
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Help yourself.
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Before we start, I'd like to get a sense
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- of how much algebra you know.
- 'Kay.
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Do you understand solving and graphing
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- linear inequalities?
- Sure.
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Great. Explain it to me.
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Uh...
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first you solve 'em...
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and then you graph 'em.
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And how do you do that?
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Uh, you know,
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carefully.
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Excuse me.
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$20 isn't gonna do it.
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AmericasCardroom.com brings poker back
Million Dollar Sunday Tournament every Sunday
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== Re-synced by MaxPayne ==
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So you collect all
the terms linear in X.
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See? Simple.
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00:03:18,719 --> 00:03:20,111
Maybe for you.
80
00:03:20,114 --> 00:03:22,047
No, it's simple for everybody.
81
00:03:22,050 --> 00:03:25,184
Now you collect all
the terms linear in Y.
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00:03:25,187 --> 00:03:26,642
I don't get it.
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Try this. Close your eyes.
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- 'Kay.
- Can you see
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the slope of the line given
by the coefficients of X and Y?
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00:03:34,068 --> 00:03:35,934
No.
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00:03:35,936 --> 00:03:37,603
What do you see?
88
00:03:37,605 --> 00:03:38,966
Darkness.
89
00:03:38,969 --> 00:03:40,401
Try harder.
90
00:03:41,609 --> 00:03:42,741
Wait.
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00:03:42,743 --> 00:03:46,311
I see Elle Macpherson in a bikini.
92
00:03:46,313 --> 00:03:48,480
Ooh, it just fell off.
93
00:03:48,482 --> 00:03:51,583
- Dad!
- I'll make it $40! Keep going!
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00:03:51,585 --> 00:03:54,453
Maybe the problem is
you're not a good teacher.
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00:03:54,455 --> 00:03:57,522
Unlikely. Regardless,
I am your only hope.
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00:03:57,524 --> 00:03:59,891
What do you see when
you close your eyes?
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00:03:59,893 --> 00:04:02,227
I see quadrant one as red,
98
00:04:02,229 --> 00:04:04,363
quadrant two is soft and plush...
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00:04:04,365 --> 00:04:07,366
quadrant three smells like lavender,
100
00:04:07,368 --> 00:04:10,702
and quadrant four is overlaid
with a Fibonacci spiral.
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00:04:10,704 --> 00:04:13,005
That's really weird.
102
00:04:13,007 --> 00:04:15,471
No. What's really weird
is doing simple algebra
103
00:04:15,474 --> 00:04:17,676
and thinking about a girl in a bikini.
104
00:04:17,678 --> 00:04:20,178
I disagree.
105
00:04:20,180 --> 00:04:21,246
Dad!
106
00:04:21,248 --> 00:04:22,714
Keep going.
107
00:04:22,716 --> 00:04:25,617
And when you divide
by a negative number,
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you have to reverse the
direction of the inequality.
109
00:04:28,055 --> 00:04:29,621
I'm tired. I'm going to bed.
110
00:04:29,623 --> 00:04:31,823
But we're not done.
You're going to fail.
111
00:04:31,825 --> 00:04:34,112
I get enough of what
you said. I'll be fine.
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It was at that moment I decided
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I was not cut out for teaching.
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00:04:38,473 --> 00:04:40,306
I consoled myself with the knowledge
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00:04:40,309 --> 00:04:42,877
that I was wonderful at everything else.
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Take one and pass it back.
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Take one and pass it back.
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As you all know, this test'll count
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for 25% of your final grade.
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00:04:52,557 --> 00:04:54,324
Be sure to show all your work.
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If you get stuck on a question,
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move on and come back to it at the end.
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00:04:58,018 --> 00:04:59,718
And I shouldn't have to say this,
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00:04:59,720 --> 00:05:02,087
but if there's any
cheating, I will see it.
125
00:05:02,089 --> 00:05:04,389
I got eyes in the back of my head.
126
00:05:04,391 --> 00:05:06,215
I got more eyes than a potato.
127
00:05:07,396 --> 00:05:08,927
Ms. Ingram?
128
00:05:08,929 --> 00:05:10,997
- Yeah, Sheldon.
- I'm done.
129
00:05:11,000 --> 00:05:12,266
What?
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00:05:12,269 --> 00:05:13,624
I enjoyed it very much.
131
00:05:13,627 --> 00:05:15,177
I'll take another if you have one.
132
00:05:15,180 --> 00:05:17,035
No, I don't have another one.
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00:05:17,037 --> 00:05:19,471
J-Just read ahead in the textbook.
134
00:05:19,473 --> 00:05:20,951
Oh, boy.
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00:05:24,951 --> 00:05:26,712
Seeing my brother struggle
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00:05:26,714 --> 00:05:28,380
was difficult for me.
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00:05:28,382 --> 00:05:32,041
As his tutor, I took
his failure personally,
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almost as if I had failed.
139
00:05:33,921 --> 00:05:38,190
Which was odd, because
I knew how dumb he was.
140
00:05:38,192 --> 00:05:40,859
Georgie, how'd you do
on that math test today?
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It was tough.
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I don't know.
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00:05:43,202 --> 00:05:44,896
I'm sorry I wasn't more help.
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00:05:44,898 --> 00:05:45,997
Me, too.
145
00:05:45,999 --> 00:05:48,066
That's all right, baby, you tried.
146
00:05:48,068 --> 00:05:49,966
Yeah. It's okay, baby.
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I don't understand what went wrong.
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00:05:54,307 --> 00:05:56,307
Is there any chance you drank alcohol
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00:05:56,310 --> 00:05:58,073
when you were pregnant with Georgie?
150
00:05:58,076 --> 00:05:59,068
No!
151
00:05:59,071 --> 00:06:00,511
Well, don't be so
high-and-mighty.
152
00:06:00,514 --> 00:06:02,247
I drank when I was pregnant with you.
153
00:06:02,249 --> 00:06:03,715
You turned out fine.
154
00:06:03,717 --> 00:06:06,318
These days everybody's like,
"Don't drink, don't smoke."
155
00:06:06,320 --> 00:06:09,380
I swear. Texas is
turning into California.
156
00:06:09,997 --> 00:06:12,333
You realize there's nothing
I can do if you fail.
157
00:06:12,336 --> 00:06:13,492
You're off the team.
158
00:06:13,494 --> 00:06:14,559
I know.
159
00:06:14,561 --> 00:06:15,984
Well, I'm gonna ask Jesus
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00:06:15,987 --> 00:06:18,088
to help you get a good
grade on that test.
161
00:06:18,091 --> 00:06:21,513
Shouldn't you have asked
him before he took it?
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00:06:21,516 --> 00:06:23,966
The man rose from the dead...
I think he can fix a test
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00:06:23,969 --> 00:06:25,177
after the fact.
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00:06:25,180 --> 00:06:27,113
You know, I hear you
say things like that,
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00:06:27,116 --> 00:06:29,974
and I wonder if maybe I did
have a few too many whiskey sours
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when you were in my belly.
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00:06:38,786 --> 00:06:41,029
Not me, but not bad.
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00:06:43,690 --> 00:06:45,490
I would say "A" for effort,
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00:06:45,492 --> 00:06:47,529
but... that's an "F."
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00:06:51,465 --> 00:06:53,632
What? How bad is it?
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00:06:53,634 --> 00:06:55,294
You got a "B."
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00:06:56,607 --> 00:06:58,403
Are you kidding?
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00:06:58,405 --> 00:07:00,172
I don't believe it.
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00:07:00,174 --> 00:07:02,505
Me, neither.
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00:07:02,609 --> 00:07:05,110
Me, neither.
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00:07:06,346 --> 00:07:09,041
So, I guess I have to
rethink my abilities.
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00:07:09,044 --> 00:07:11,416
Clearly, I'm a wonderful teacher.
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00:07:12,294 --> 00:07:14,386
Georgie didn't pass because of you.
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00:07:14,388 --> 00:07:15,987
What do you mean?
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He cheated.
181
00:07:17,658 --> 00:07:20,759
He had the answers written
on the bottom of his shoe.
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00:07:20,761 --> 00:07:22,461
He wouldn't do that.
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00:07:22,463 --> 00:07:25,030
When you cheat in school,
you only cheat yourself.
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00:07:25,032 --> 00:07:26,798
Where'd you get that?
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00:07:26,800 --> 00:07:29,668
An inspirational poster
outside the boys' room.
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00:07:29,670 --> 00:07:31,803
I saw what I saw, Sheldon.
187
00:07:31,805 --> 00:07:34,039
Well, if this is true,
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00:07:34,041 --> 00:07:35,958
he needs to turn himself in.
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00:07:35,961 --> 00:07:38,810
That'll never happen. He'll
get kicked off the team.
190
00:07:38,812 --> 00:07:40,345
I'm sorry, I can't accept this.
191
00:07:40,347 --> 00:07:42,614
There must be another explanation.
192
00:07:42,616 --> 00:07:44,599
If you don't believe
me, look at his shoes.
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00:07:44,602 --> 00:07:46,316
I will.
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00:07:58,298 --> 00:08:00,404
This is quite a workout.
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00:08:43,298 --> 00:08:45,831
You dirty bird.
196
00:08:47,200 --> 00:08:48,992
What are you doing in here?
197
00:08:48,995 --> 00:08:50,169
You cheated.
198
00:08:50,171 --> 00:08:51,651
No, I didn't.
199
00:08:54,175 --> 00:08:56,542
I'm holding the evidence.
200
00:08:56,544 --> 00:08:58,477
Let me see that.
201
00:09:01,471 --> 00:09:02,815
I don't see nothin'.
202
00:09:02,817 --> 00:09:05,578
That's obstruction of justice,
203
00:09:05,581 --> 00:09:07,393
as well as disgusting.
204
00:09:07,396 --> 00:09:10,914
Oh, relax. By passing that
test, I get to play football,
205
00:09:10,917 --> 00:09:12,984
and you get to go to the train store.
206
00:09:12,987 --> 00:09:14,327
Everybody wins.
207
00:09:14,329 --> 00:09:16,007
But what about the truth?
208
00:09:16,010 --> 00:09:17,330
What about it?
209
00:09:17,332 --> 00:09:19,523
It's supposed to set us free.
210
00:09:19,526 --> 00:09:21,067
Who told you that?
211
00:09:21,069 --> 00:09:22,535
The Bible.
212
00:09:22,537 --> 00:09:25,271
Since when do you care
about what's in the Bible?
213
00:09:25,273 --> 00:09:27,573
When it helps me win an argument.
214
00:09:27,575 --> 00:09:30,797
The Bible also says honor
thy father and thy mother.
215
00:09:30,800 --> 00:09:33,554
And if you open your mouth,
you're gonna make them sad.
216
00:09:33,557 --> 00:09:35,314
He had me.
217
00:09:35,316 --> 00:09:38,827
Somehow, the mullet-headed
simpleton had me.
218
00:09:38,830 --> 00:09:41,024
This isn't over.
219
00:09:41,027 --> 00:09:42,960
Oh, yeah? What are you gonna do?
220
00:09:44,058 --> 00:09:46,214
All right, maybe it's over.
221
00:09:49,931 --> 00:09:51,784
Meemaw?
222
00:09:59,056 --> 00:10:01,623
I assume you've read the
Surgeon General's report
223
00:10:01,626 --> 00:10:03,359
on the dangers of smoking?
224
00:10:03,362 --> 00:10:05,912
I'm gonna wait till they
turn it into a movie.
225
00:10:05,914 --> 00:10:07,480
Is that your new train?
226
00:10:07,482 --> 00:10:11,517
Yes. It's my reward for helping
Georgie pass the math test.
227
00:10:11,519 --> 00:10:13,786
You don't seem too happy about it.
228
00:10:13,788 --> 00:10:16,020
I don't feel like I earned it.
229
00:10:16,023 --> 00:10:17,656
Why not?
230
00:10:17,659 --> 00:10:19,125
Can you keep a secret?
231
00:10:19,127 --> 00:10:22,194
Well, at my age, the question
is can I remember one.
232
00:10:22,196 --> 00:10:23,496
Try me.
233
00:10:25,300 --> 00:10:27,500
Georgie cheated on the test.
234
00:10:27,502 --> 00:10:29,001
Oh.
235
00:10:29,003 --> 00:10:30,578
And nothing bad happened.
236
00:10:30,581 --> 00:10:32,038
He gets to stay on the football team,
237
00:10:32,040 --> 00:10:33,410
Mom and Dad are proud of him,
238
00:10:33,413 --> 00:10:34,945
I even got a train for helping.
239
00:10:34,948 --> 00:10:37,735
So you're feeling guilty.
240
00:10:37,738 --> 00:10:40,079
Very much so.
241
00:10:40,081 --> 00:10:42,615
Well, that's a real conundrum.
242
00:10:42,617 --> 00:10:44,927
Have you been reading the
Word of the Day calendar
243
00:10:44,930 --> 00:10:46,552
I gave you for your birthday?
244
00:10:46,555 --> 00:10:49,155
Indubitably.
245
00:10:51,724 --> 00:10:53,424
So what do you think?
246
00:10:53,426 --> 00:10:55,859
I don't think you should
let it bother you very much.
247
00:10:55,861 --> 00:10:58,146
I mean, there's always
gonna be people in this world
248
00:10:58,149 --> 00:11:01,198
who are playing fast
and loose with the rules.
249
00:11:01,200 --> 00:11:03,100
And your brother's one of them.
250
00:11:05,571 --> 00:11:07,625
That's how Captain Kirk is on Star Trek.
251
00:11:07,628 --> 00:11:10,574
Well, there you go, and he's,
like, the main guy on that show.
252
00:11:10,576 --> 00:11:13,094
No, Mr. Spock is the main guy.
253
00:11:13,097 --> 00:11:15,965
I stand corrected.
254
00:11:15,968 --> 00:11:20,150
Although Kirk is usually the
one who saves the Enterprise.
255
00:11:20,152 --> 00:11:23,520
Because he doesn't
always follow the rules?
256
00:11:23,522 --> 00:11:27,118
He even cheated on a
test when he was a cadet.
257
00:11:27,121 --> 00:11:28,820
The Kobayashi Maru.
258
00:11:28,823 --> 00:11:29,689
The what?
259
00:11:29,692 --> 00:11:30,724
Kobayashi Maru.
260
00:11:30,727 --> 00:11:32,629
Kirk is a legend because of it.
261
00:11:32,632 --> 00:11:35,799
Ko-Kobayashi Maru.
262
00:11:35,801 --> 00:11:38,497
Sounds like something
you eat at Benihana's.
263
00:11:38,500 --> 00:11:39,937
Have you ever been to one of those?
264
00:11:39,940 --> 00:11:41,305
They make you sit with strangers.
265
00:11:41,307 --> 00:11:42,571
It's crazy.
266
00:11:44,977 --> 00:11:47,578
Do you think a Spock
could become a Kirk?
267
00:11:47,580 --> 00:11:49,880
Well, in my experience,
268
00:11:49,882 --> 00:11:52,316
most people stay the
miserable bastards they are
269
00:11:52,318 --> 00:11:53,651
their whole entire life.
270
00:11:53,653 --> 00:11:54,952
But...
271
00:11:54,954 --> 00:11:57,344
I have seen some folks change.
272
00:11:59,759 --> 00:12:01,125
Hmm.
273
00:12:02,995 --> 00:12:05,863
All right. Well, I'm gonna
go play with this train.
274
00:12:05,865 --> 00:12:07,508
You do that.
275
00:12:24,583 --> 00:12:25,616
Georgie?
276
00:12:25,618 --> 00:12:27,844
- Go away.
- I need to ask a favor.
277
00:12:27,847 --> 00:12:28,980
What?
278
00:12:28,983 --> 00:12:31,055
It's private. Can I come in?
279
00:12:31,057 --> 00:12:32,836
Come on.
280
00:12:35,780 --> 00:12:37,647
Ugh.
281
00:12:37,650 --> 00:12:39,149
What do you want?
282
00:12:39,152 --> 00:12:41,764
It occurs to me you
have something in common
283
00:12:41,767 --> 00:12:43,289
with Captain Kirk.
284
00:12:43,292 --> 00:12:44,858
We both have cool hair?
285
00:12:44,861 --> 00:12:45,960
In order to succeed,
286
00:12:45,963 --> 00:12:48,571
you both play fast and
loose with the rules.
287
00:12:48,574 --> 00:12:50,680
Yeah, I suppose we do.
288
00:12:50,683 --> 00:12:53,744
When you cheated on the math
test, what was your strategy?
289
00:12:53,746 --> 00:12:56,146
Well, I guess the most important part
290
00:12:56,148 --> 00:12:58,382
was not stepping on
anything wet before the test.
291
00:12:59,085 --> 00:13:00,451
And not getting an "A."
292
00:13:00,453 --> 00:13:02,386
Why wouldn't you want an "A"?
293
00:13:02,388 --> 00:13:04,888
'Cause that would raise suspicions.
294
00:13:04,890 --> 00:13:06,757
Who would believe I got an "A"?
295
00:13:06,759 --> 00:13:08,258
Wow.
296
00:13:08,261 --> 00:13:09,858
Tell me more.
297
00:13:09,861 --> 00:13:12,095
Okay, when you're telling a lie,
298
00:13:12,098 --> 00:13:14,328
it's important to throw in some details.
299
00:13:14,331 --> 00:13:16,700
Like, when I was wanted to
spend the night at Ricky's house,
300
00:13:16,703 --> 00:13:19,336
and Mom asked me if his mom
and dad were gonna be home,
301
00:13:19,338 --> 00:13:20,404
I said, not only
302
00:13:20,406 --> 00:13:21,946
are they be gonna be home,
303
00:13:21,949 --> 00:13:23,239
his dad was gonna teach us
304
00:13:23,242 --> 00:13:25,539
how to cook turkey legs in the smoker.
305
00:13:25,542 --> 00:13:27,595
I like turkey legs. Were they good?
306
00:13:27,598 --> 00:13:29,713
There weren't any turkey legs, you dope.
307
00:13:29,715 --> 00:13:31,982
His parents were in Branson.
308
00:13:31,984 --> 00:13:34,952
That's incredible. I
totally believed you.
309
00:13:34,954 --> 00:13:36,320
Details.
310
00:13:36,322 --> 00:13:39,039
Now get out of here, I
got to finish reading this.
311
00:13:40,393 --> 00:13:43,460
Thank you, Georgie,
that was very helpful.
312
00:13:44,797 --> 00:13:45,963
Did you hear that?
313
00:13:45,965 --> 00:13:47,047
What?
314
00:13:47,050 --> 00:13:49,654
Sounds like Georgie and
Sheldon are getting along.
315
00:13:49,657 --> 00:13:50,768
Really?
316
00:13:50,770 --> 00:13:52,436
That can't be right.
317
00:13:52,438 --> 00:13:53,563
I just heard it.
318
00:13:53,566 --> 00:13:55,839
Maybe there's hope for
those two after all.
319
00:13:55,841 --> 00:13:58,142
Or it's a sign of the apocalypse.
320
00:13:58,144 --> 00:14:00,774
Honey, I'm-I'm watching this.
321
00:14:05,157 --> 00:14:06,984
So you'll have to find someone else
322
00:14:06,986 --> 00:14:08,930
to hold your ankles in P.E. today.
323
00:14:08,933 --> 00:14:10,432
I'm sorry, what?
324
00:14:10,435 --> 00:14:13,369
I've suffered a terrible injury
and won't be able to attend.
325
00:14:13,372 --> 00:14:14,691
What happened?
326
00:14:14,693 --> 00:14:16,399
See for yourself.
327
00:14:18,631 --> 00:14:22,044
"Dear Coach Wilkins, please
excuse my son, Sheldon,
328
00:14:22,047 --> 00:14:23,391
from P.E.
329
00:14:23,394 --> 00:14:25,602
He has experienced a testicular hernia,
330
00:14:25,604 --> 00:14:28,439
and needs to rest for the
next six to eight weeks.
331
00:14:28,441 --> 00:14:30,607
Sincerely, Mary Cooper."
332
00:14:32,445 --> 00:14:33,877
Testicular hernia?
333
00:14:33,879 --> 00:14:35,852
That's called details.
334
00:14:38,017 --> 00:14:39,763
Ooh, that's rough.
335
00:14:39,766 --> 00:14:40,884
Hmm.
336
00:14:40,886 --> 00:14:41,919
How'd it happen?
337
00:14:41,921 --> 00:14:43,287
It's hard to say,
338
00:14:43,289 --> 00:14:46,824
but some risk factors include:
heavy lifting, a chronic cough
339
00:14:46,826 --> 00:14:49,393
and repetitive straining
during bowel movements.
340
00:14:49,395 --> 00:14:51,039
I've been there.
341
00:14:51,042 --> 00:14:52,800
Hmm. All right.
342
00:14:52,803 --> 00:14:56,237
Guess I'll see you
in... six to eight weeks.
343
00:15:02,461 --> 00:15:04,669
I don't know if other supervillains
344
00:15:04,672 --> 00:15:07,724
started their careers
by getting out of P.E.,
345
00:15:07,727 --> 00:15:09,446
but that's where I began.
346
00:15:09,448 --> 00:15:12,082
Emboldened by my faux hernia,
347
00:15:12,084 --> 00:15:14,732
I started taking books
out of the library...
348
00:15:14,735 --> 00:15:17,789
without getting the cards stamped.
349
00:15:17,792 --> 00:15:19,456
You didn't check out those books.
350
00:15:19,458 --> 00:15:20,891
I know.
351
00:15:20,893 --> 00:15:23,026
Before you judge me too harshly,
352
00:15:23,028 --> 00:15:25,095
I always brought them back on time.
353
00:15:25,097 --> 00:15:28,165
I was a rule-breaker, not a lunatic.
354
00:15:28,167 --> 00:15:31,134
But perhaps my most
satisfying transgression
355
00:15:31,136 --> 00:15:33,039
was duping my sister
356
00:15:33,042 --> 00:15:36,177
into relinquishing control of the TV.
357
00:15:37,743 --> 00:15:39,009
Hello.
358
00:15:39,011 --> 00:15:41,011
What's that for?
359
00:15:41,013 --> 00:15:44,815
Oh, this? I was just digging
for money in Meemaw's backyard.
360
00:15:44,817 --> 00:15:46,617
There's money there?
361
00:15:46,619 --> 00:15:49,219
Oh, yes. I already found 75 cents.
362
00:15:49,221 --> 00:15:51,021
Who do you think left it?
363
00:15:51,023 --> 00:15:52,756
If I were to guess,
364
00:15:52,758 --> 00:15:54,858
I'd say pirates with
holes in their pockets.
365
00:15:54,860 --> 00:15:57,227
Can I use your shovel?
366
00:15:57,229 --> 00:15:59,696
Be my guest.
367
00:15:59,698 --> 00:16:02,039
Oh, baby, I'm gonna be rich.
368
00:16:04,603 --> 00:16:08,405
Today, we're going to learn
about Sir Isaac Newton.
369
00:16:08,407 --> 00:16:10,201
Hello, old friend.
370
00:16:10,204 --> 00:16:11,904
One of the world's
greatest scientists...
371
00:16:16,348 --> 00:16:17,447
See you tomorrow, Wayne.
372
00:16:17,449 --> 00:16:19,216
You have a good one, George.
373
00:16:19,218 --> 00:16:20,918
Hey, how's your son doing?
374
00:16:20,920 --> 00:16:22,185
Georgie?
375
00:16:22,188 --> 00:16:25,155
No, the smart one.
376
00:16:25,157 --> 00:16:26,790
He's fine. Why?
377
00:16:26,792 --> 00:16:28,559
What about the hernia?
378
00:16:28,561 --> 00:16:29,883
What hernia?
379
00:16:29,886 --> 00:16:31,920
The one your wife said he had.
380
00:16:35,391 --> 00:16:37,267
Happened to me while I was in the Army.
381
00:16:37,269 --> 00:16:41,271
I was in a bar in Georgia,
tried to lift up this big gal.
382
00:16:41,273 --> 00:16:43,641
Swear I could hear
something pop down there.
383
00:16:43,644 --> 00:16:45,173
Sheldon gave you this note?
384
00:16:45,176 --> 00:16:46,409
Yeah.
385
00:16:46,412 --> 00:16:47,811
I didn't write this.
386
00:16:47,813 --> 00:16:49,112
You sure?
387
00:16:49,114 --> 00:16:50,414
Looks like your handwriting.
388
00:16:50,416 --> 00:16:51,905
It's got that little
swoopy thing going on.
389
00:16:51,907 --> 00:16:52,916
I didn't write it.
390
00:16:52,918 --> 00:16:55,599
And I think I'd know
if my son had a hernia.
391
00:16:55,602 --> 00:16:58,747
So what, Sheldon forged a
letter to get out of P.E.?
392
00:16:58,750 --> 00:17:00,357
Looks like it.
393
00:17:00,359 --> 00:17:02,025
How about that.
394
00:17:02,027 --> 00:17:04,539
Don't be proud of him.
395
00:17:04,542 --> 00:17:05,662
Can't help it.
396
00:17:05,664 --> 00:17:07,531
First time he ever seemed like my kid.
397
00:17:07,533 --> 00:17:09,821
Do you have any idea
398
00:17:09,824 --> 00:17:12,469
what's gotten into him?
399
00:17:12,471 --> 00:17:13,837
I might.
400
00:17:13,839 --> 00:17:15,439
Well?
401
00:17:15,441 --> 00:17:18,075
Have you ever heard of...
402
00:17:18,077 --> 00:17:21,545
Mobokachi Kaboom?
403
00:17:21,547 --> 00:17:22,758
Wait.
404
00:17:22,761 --> 00:17:25,214
Koshimaki Magoo.
405
00:17:25,217 --> 00:17:27,438
Wait a minute, I'm gonna get this.
406
00:17:31,090 --> 00:17:32,556
"Dear Professor Proton,
407
00:17:32,558 --> 00:17:34,424
I would very much like to meet you,
408
00:17:34,426 --> 00:17:36,994
and I only have three weeks to live.
409
00:17:36,996 --> 00:17:39,830
Please come visit me
here in Medford, Texas.
410
00:17:39,832 --> 00:17:41,565
Sincerely, Sheldon Cooper.
411
00:17:41,567 --> 00:17:43,446
P.S. My Meemaw makes excellent brisket."
412
00:17:43,449 --> 00:17:44,581
Sheldon.
413
00:17:44,584 --> 00:17:46,547
Would you like to explain this note?
414
00:17:48,841 --> 00:17:49,940
Well?
415
00:17:49,942 --> 00:17:52,209
I was trying to be more like Georgie.
416
00:17:52,211 --> 00:17:53,610
That's a dumb idea.
417
00:17:53,612 --> 00:17:56,313
We don't want Georgie
to be like Georgie.
418
00:17:56,315 --> 00:18:00,217
Well, let me start by
saying how very sorry I am.
419
00:18:04,518 --> 00:18:06,363
Despite my explanation
420
00:18:06,366 --> 00:18:09,190
that I was embracing my inner Kirk,
421
00:18:09,192 --> 00:18:12,793
my mother had me make
amends for all my misdeeds.
422
00:18:12,795 --> 00:18:14,562
Starting in the library,
423
00:18:14,564 --> 00:18:18,165
where I had to reshelve
hundreds of books.
424
00:18:18,167 --> 00:18:20,768
Well, to be honest,
that one was a hoot.
425
00:18:20,770 --> 00:18:25,372
The amends got worse when Coach
Wilkins made me climb the rope.
426
00:18:25,374 --> 00:18:27,608
Lacking any upper body strength,
427
00:18:27,610 --> 00:18:31,149
I hung there like a
salami in a deli window.
428
00:18:31,152 --> 00:18:34,882
And finally, I had to
apologize to my meemaw,
429
00:18:34,884 --> 00:18:39,009
who was an unfortunate victim
of my sister's treasure hunt.
430
00:18:40,305 --> 00:18:46,924
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