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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:03,160 --> 00:00:06,808 Introducing the new spokesperson 2 00:00:06,810 --> 00:00:09,236 for Wag and Bone Dog Food, 3 00:00:09,238 --> 00:00:12,642 Mr. Jack Mc... 4 00:00:14,244 --> 00:00:17,066 - Line... - You know my last name, Karen. 5 00:00:17,068 --> 00:00:19,850 Honey, I did Ayahuasca with shaman last night. 6 00:00:19,852 --> 00:00:22,172 I don't know if it's raining or Tuesday. 7 00:00:24,215 --> 00:00:26,055 You really booked a commercial? 8 00:00:26,057 --> 00:00:28,938 Technically, I probably booked it. 9 00:00:28,940 --> 00:00:31,901 They unofficially told the gal who's basically my agent 10 00:00:31,903 --> 00:00:33,503 that it's between me 11 00:00:33,505 --> 00:00:36,226 and approximately three other guys, 12 00:00:36,228 --> 00:00:40,110 so... it's in the bag. 13 00:00:40,112 --> 00:00:41,351 Congrats, Jack. 14 00:00:41,353 --> 00:00:44,635 Now, will you be playing the dog or the human? 15 00:00:44,637 --> 00:00:46,998 See, guys, this is why I do it. 16 00:00:47,000 --> 00:00:50,201 All the years of people saying, "You're too good for that job. 17 00:00:50,203 --> 00:00:52,203 You should be leading a bigger life." 18 00:00:52,205 --> 00:00:56,128 "Sir, this is a library. Put your pants back on." 19 00:00:56,130 --> 00:00:58,210 Karen's taking me out to celebrate. 20 00:00:58,212 --> 00:00:59,812 I thought you had a temp job today. 21 00:00:59,814 --> 00:01:02,615 Oh, that's right. I forgot. 22 00:01:02,617 --> 00:01:04,657 I picked up a day as a rehearsal pianist. 23 00:01:04,659 --> 00:01:07,302 God, why did you make me a triple threat? 24 00:01:10,145 --> 00:01:14,468 Honey, call in sick. Easy-peasy. Check it out. 25 00:01:14,470 --> 00:01:17,353 Chris, I can't make it in today. 26 00:01:23,279 --> 00:01:25,842 I sprained my ankle. 27 00:01:28,565 --> 00:01:30,806 You know that Grace is still here? 28 00:01:30,808 --> 00:01:34,169 Jesus, does that woman ever work? 29 00:01:34,171 --> 00:01:36,174 Hasta la homos. 30 00:01:38,496 --> 00:01:40,777 I don't wanna work today. 31 00:01:40,779 --> 00:01:43,019 It's so expected. 32 00:01:43,021 --> 00:01:45,181 You're my lawyer. Get me out of this. 33 00:01:45,183 --> 00:01:48,025 In the case of McFarland v. Reality, 34 00:01:48,027 --> 00:01:50,990 the Supreme Court ruled, grow up. 35 00:01:52,031 --> 00:01:54,432 - Adults go to work. - Why aren't you at work? 36 00:01:54,434 --> 00:01:56,194 Oh, I scored a ticket to the Princess Diana gown exhibit 37 00:01:56,196 --> 00:01:57,675 at the Met before it opens to the public. 38 00:01:57,677 --> 00:01:59,960 I am freaking out. 39 00:02:01,882 --> 00:02:05,003 - Oh... - You look shmancy. 40 00:02:05,005 --> 00:02:06,685 If I was straight, I'd stare at you like a creep 41 00:02:06,687 --> 00:02:08,809 and tell you to smile more. 42 00:02:11,172 --> 00:02:13,374 I am going to the gynecologist. 43 00:02:15,216 --> 00:02:19,379 What's with the faces? You both came out of vaginas. 44 00:02:19,381 --> 00:02:21,383 I didn't. 45 00:02:22,384 --> 00:02:25,027 I am a Platinum Star Gay. 46 00:02:25,948 --> 00:02:27,468 Gay-splain, please? 47 00:02:27,470 --> 00:02:29,190 A Gold Star Gay has never been with a woman. 48 00:02:29,192 --> 00:02:30,872 Platinum haven't been with a woman, 49 00:02:30,874 --> 00:02:33,074 and they were born via C-section. 50 00:02:33,076 --> 00:02:35,759 Hence they've never touched a vagine. 51 00:02:38,522 --> 00:02:40,763 It's all in his book, "Men Are From Mars; 52 00:02:40,765 --> 00:02:43,085 Who Cares Where Women Came From?" 53 00:02:45,000 --> 00:02:51,074 AmericasCardroom.com brings poker back Million Dollar Sunday Tournament every Sunday 54 00:02:53,261 --> 00:02:55,326 Subtitles by explosiveskull 55 00:02:57,663 --> 00:03:00,024 Where am I? What's going on? 56 00:03:00,026 --> 00:03:02,266 You. I know you. 57 00:03:02,268 --> 00:03:05,029 - You work here? - I'm Sheila, your nurse. 58 00:03:05,031 --> 00:03:06,631 I used to work at the sperm bank, 59 00:03:06,633 --> 00:03:08,273 where you tried to have a gay baby... 60 00:03:08,275 --> 00:03:11,757 or the donor was gay. I don't know, it was super gay. 61 00:03:11,759 --> 00:03:13,278 What happened to me? 62 00:03:13,280 --> 00:03:14,880 The doctor found some weird cells, 63 00:03:14,882 --> 00:03:16,762 and so he did a biopsy on your left breast. 64 00:03:18,166 --> 00:03:21,207 Wait, left... 65 00:03:21,209 --> 00:03:24,052 Oh, that's the big one. 66 00:03:26,214 --> 00:03:29,338 - So, are you telling me I have... - Cancer. 67 00:03:30,499 --> 00:03:33,300 I mean, you might have cancer. 68 00:03:33,302 --> 00:03:36,266 There's a very, very, very slim chance that you have it. 69 00:03:38,108 --> 00:03:41,111 You're supposed to lead with that. 70 00:03:42,112 --> 00:03:45,313 I'm... I'm taking this really well. 71 00:03:45,315 --> 00:03:47,316 Why am I taking this really well? 72 00:03:47,318 --> 00:03:49,999 Because you're coming out of a very heavy sedation. 73 00:03:50,001 --> 00:03:51,640 We called your emergency contact. 74 00:03:51,642 --> 00:03:55,206 - He's waiting outside. - Oh, good, I need Will. 75 00:03:57,008 --> 00:03:59,409 Hey, Grace. 76 00:03:59,411 --> 00:04:01,691 Leo? 77 00:04:07,355 --> 00:04:10,677 Hi, I'm Jack, the rehearsal pianist from Temporary Players. 78 00:04:10,679 --> 00:04:12,839 - I'm looking for Alvin. - I'm Alvin. 79 00:04:12,841 --> 00:04:14,101 Churro? 80 00:04:14,103 --> 00:04:15,961 Uh, one, two, three, four, five... 81 00:04:15,963 --> 00:04:18,142 I'm sorry, I can't do it. Thank you though. 82 00:04:18,144 --> 00:04:20,080 Um, so where does the magic happen? 83 00:04:20,082 --> 00:04:21,979 Oh, we had to cancel the magic program, 84 00:04:21,981 --> 00:04:24,352 'cause the money disappeared. 85 00:04:24,354 --> 00:04:26,395 No, the theatrical magic, 86 00:04:26,397 --> 00:04:31,080 where thespians work onstage, and "lespians" build the sets. 87 00:04:31,082 --> 00:04:33,803 If you talking about the theater, it's right there. 88 00:04:33,805 --> 00:04:35,244 I'm sorry, um, but in the words of 89 00:04:35,246 --> 00:04:37,727 my dear friend Amanda Bynes, 90 00:04:37,729 --> 00:04:40,252 where am I? 91 00:04:42,094 --> 00:04:44,655 This is the Bronx Boys & Girls Club. 92 00:04:44,657 --> 00:04:46,777 You're teaching an afterschool drama class. 93 00:04:46,779 --> 00:04:48,739 - Starts at 3:00. - Alvin, was it? 94 00:04:48,741 --> 00:04:50,141 - Alvin with an A? - Yep. Mm-hm. 95 00:04:50,143 --> 00:04:52,663 Alvin as in, "Alvin!" 96 00:04:52,665 --> 00:04:54,906 Don't do that. 97 00:04:54,908 --> 00:04:57,108 - Alvin... - Mm-hm. 98 00:04:57,110 --> 00:04:59,151 I used to teach, now I do. 99 00:04:59,153 --> 00:05:02,274 In fact, I'm an almost working actor again. 100 00:05:02,276 --> 00:05:04,156 You probably don't recognize me 101 00:05:04,158 --> 00:05:06,118 from the regional dog food commercial I'm about to get, 102 00:05:06,120 --> 00:05:08,161 but I certainly can't consider teaching kids 103 00:05:08,163 --> 00:05:09,562 in an afterschool drama program, 104 00:05:09,564 --> 00:05:11,444 but I think what you do here is great. 105 00:05:11,446 --> 00:05:13,086 - You know, it's great, great. - Oh, yeah, it's best. 106 00:05:13,088 --> 00:05:15,248 You know the Bronx silver service credo: 107 00:05:15,250 --> 00:05:18,974 Come for the free internet, stay for the Obamacare... 108 00:05:20,456 --> 00:05:23,337 For now. 109 00:05:23,339 --> 00:05:26,423 I don't get that. I'll see you later. 110 00:05:27,664 --> 00:05:29,424 Pickles! 111 00:05:29,426 --> 00:05:31,426 Pickles to heck! 112 00:05:31,428 --> 00:05:33,148 I'm not familiar with that expression, 113 00:05:33,150 --> 00:05:35,390 but I'm guessing you didn't get that commercial. 114 00:05:35,392 --> 00:05:38,556 When you guess, you make an ass of you and me. 115 00:05:40,238 --> 00:05:43,199 Well, you wanna teach, pickles? 116 00:05:43,201 --> 00:05:45,924 'Cause it sounds like you're not gonna do. 117 00:05:48,126 --> 00:05:52,049 How heavy was that sedation? 118 00:05:52,051 --> 00:05:54,051 Because I feel like 119 00:05:54,053 --> 00:05:57,615 my ex-husband is standing right there. 120 00:05:57,617 --> 00:06:00,979 I think I'm still listed as your emergency contact. 121 00:06:00,981 --> 00:06:03,181 How could that be? I told Karen to... 122 00:06:03,183 --> 00:06:05,385 oh, that's how. 123 00:06:07,428 --> 00:06:09,468 I'm sensing some tension here. 124 00:06:09,470 --> 00:06:11,190 - Who cheated? - He did. 125 00:06:11,192 --> 00:06:13,474 Wow, seriously? That was just a shot in the dark. 126 00:06:14,555 --> 00:06:17,677 It's a little bit more complicated than that. 127 00:06:17,679 --> 00:06:19,078 Is it? 128 00:06:20,682 --> 00:06:25,566 Acting is rejection, rejection, rejection. 129 00:06:25,568 --> 00:06:27,167 Hope? 130 00:06:27,169 --> 00:06:29,890 No, rejection. 131 00:06:29,892 --> 00:06:32,293 So if any one of you can picture yourselves doing anything, 132 00:06:32,295 --> 00:06:33,855 anything other than acting, 133 00:06:33,857 --> 00:06:37,058 I'm gonna have to ask you to leave right now. 134 00:06:37,060 --> 00:06:38,860 You, what do you wanna do? 135 00:06:38,862 --> 00:06:40,622 I wanna be a fireman. 136 00:06:40,624 --> 00:06:42,424 Oh, really? 137 00:06:42,426 --> 00:06:44,428 Get out! 138 00:06:45,269 --> 00:06:47,029 Not... not out, out. You're a kid, that's crazy. 139 00:06:47,031 --> 00:06:48,871 Just go to the bleachers. 140 00:06:48,873 --> 00:06:50,433 If I seem intense, 141 00:06:50,435 --> 00:06:53,316 it's for one reason and one reason only, 'kay? 142 00:06:53,318 --> 00:06:57,080 I don't wanna be here, and I'm really sad. 143 00:06:57,082 --> 00:06:58,882 That's two things. 144 00:06:58,884 --> 00:07:00,484 Jordan, get out! 145 00:07:00,486 --> 00:07:02,806 I can't bear to look at ya! 146 00:07:02,808 --> 00:07:04,568 Not out, out. You're a kid, that's crazy. 147 00:07:04,570 --> 00:07:06,571 Just go to the office. Just go to the office. 148 00:07:06,573 --> 00:07:08,893 Look, if you have any hope of making it in this business, 149 00:07:08,895 --> 00:07:12,417 you have to give me your undivided attention, okay? 150 00:07:12,419 --> 00:07:13,899 Fully commit here and now. 151 00:07:13,901 --> 00:07:15,661 You can't let anything distract you from... 152 00:07:15,663 --> 00:07:18,223 oh, my God, Karen's here. What are you doing here? 153 00:07:18,225 --> 00:07:19,985 Well, I thought about going into work, 154 00:07:19,987 --> 00:07:21,587 but Grace is at the lady doctor, 155 00:07:21,589 --> 00:07:23,429 and if there's anything I don't wanna deal with, 156 00:07:23,431 --> 00:07:26,114 it's Grace and her angry inch. 157 00:07:28,597 --> 00:07:30,757 Honey, I'll just wait for you to finish, 158 00:07:30,759 --> 00:07:33,440 and maybe we'll find a nasty roof party 159 00:07:33,442 --> 00:07:35,444 and do a little beep-boop. 160 00:07:38,167 --> 00:07:40,608 I didn't wanna say Molly in front of the kids. 161 00:07:44,494 --> 00:07:46,695 Look, thank you for bringing me home. 162 00:07:46,697 --> 00:07:50,459 Obviously, I'm going to change my emergency contact. 163 00:07:50,461 --> 00:07:53,342 That's all right. It ain't nothing. 164 00:07:53,344 --> 00:07:54,784 - I forgot you did that. - What? 165 00:07:54,786 --> 00:07:57,507 When you wanna defuse tension, you... 166 00:07:57,509 --> 00:08:00,632 Turn up the Cajun spices. 167 00:08:02,634 --> 00:08:07,438 "Why, I'm just a handsome po' boy from N'Awlins. 168 00:08:07,440 --> 00:08:12,283 I'm just eating my bowl of zydeco." 169 00:08:12,285 --> 00:08:14,926 So, a po' boy is a sandwich, 170 00:08:14,928 --> 00:08:16,447 and zydeco is a form of music, 171 00:08:16,449 --> 00:08:18,650 and I am from Baton Rouge, 172 00:08:18,652 --> 00:08:20,812 which is a completely different accent, 173 00:08:20,814 --> 00:08:22,134 which I lost years ago. 174 00:08:22,136 --> 00:08:26,338 I say, I say, yes, you did. 175 00:08:26,340 --> 00:08:29,662 I'm not Foghorn Leghorn. 176 00:08:29,664 --> 00:08:31,504 But I'm gonna give you a pass, 'cause I know that you're 177 00:08:31,506 --> 00:08:33,386 worried about your test results. 178 00:08:33,388 --> 00:08:34,908 I'm not worried. 179 00:08:34,910 --> 00:08:36,590 Everything's gonna be fine. 180 00:08:36,592 --> 00:08:38,752 You know, it's okay if you tell me, Grace. 181 00:08:38,754 --> 00:08:41,195 Seriously, I'm not worried about it. 182 00:08:41,197 --> 00:08:43,117 I'm fine. 183 00:08:43,119 --> 00:08:44,718 You can go now, Leo. 184 00:08:44,720 --> 00:08:46,560 One of the good things about being single 185 00:08:46,562 --> 00:08:50,767 is you learn how to get through a crisis alone. 186 00:08:52,008 --> 00:08:54,850 - Hey. - I almost died today! 187 00:08:54,852 --> 00:08:57,172 What? 188 00:08:57,174 --> 00:08:58,854 What are you talking about? 189 00:08:58,856 --> 00:09:01,497 I had an emergency biopsy of my boob. 190 00:09:01,499 --> 00:09:04,903 - The big one? - Yeah! 191 00:09:07,666 --> 00:09:09,706 I'm gonna get the results later today. 192 00:09:09,708 --> 00:09:11,388 - Grace, that must've been so... - Terrifying. 193 00:09:11,390 --> 00:09:12,749 - Did it... - They knocked me out. 194 00:09:12,751 --> 00:09:14,551 - Because you're a big... - A big baby. 195 00:09:14,553 --> 00:09:15,753 Yeah, yeah. Come on, sit. 'Kay, sit down. 196 00:09:15,755 --> 00:09:17,875 - How do you feel? - Not good! 197 00:09:17,877 --> 00:09:19,357 I might have cancer. 198 00:09:19,359 --> 00:09:22,242 - I smell toast. - Wh... 199 00:09:24,044 --> 00:09:26,046 I made toast. 200 00:09:27,007 --> 00:09:29,368 Wait, you're eating bread? 201 00:09:29,370 --> 00:09:31,450 It's not a cheat day. What's wrong? 202 00:09:31,452 --> 00:09:32,891 No, I don't wanna make this about me. 203 00:09:32,893 --> 00:09:35,094 You... you're dealing with something real. 204 00:09:35,096 --> 00:09:37,216 - Have you been crying? - No... 205 00:09:37,218 --> 00:09:40,420 I went to the Princess Diana exhibit, 206 00:09:40,422 --> 00:09:42,504 which was amazing... 207 00:09:44,066 --> 00:09:46,226 But I bought remastered DVDs of the wedding and the funeral, 208 00:09:46,228 --> 00:09:49,229 and I watched them back to back, and now I'm eating my feelings. 209 00:09:49,231 --> 00:09:51,071 How could you do that to yourself? 210 00:09:51,073 --> 00:09:54,836 She really was like a candle in the wind. 211 00:09:54,838 --> 00:09:57,478 Speaking of just hanging out in the wind, 212 00:09:57,480 --> 00:09:59,601 - I'm here. - Leo? 213 00:09:59,603 --> 00:10:01,563 - How you doing, Will? - What are you doing he... 214 00:10:01,565 --> 00:10:04,126 oh, please, God, tell me you're not back together, 215 00:10:04,128 --> 00:10:06,889 unless you are, in which case... 216 00:10:06,891 --> 00:10:08,611 Yay. 217 00:10:08,613 --> 00:10:10,933 He's still my emergency contact. 218 00:10:10,935 --> 00:10:13,056 What? I thought you told Karen to... 219 00:10:13,058 --> 00:10:14,697 oh, yeah, that makes sense. 220 00:10:14,699 --> 00:10:16,539 You know, you should've probably been 221 00:10:16,541 --> 00:10:19,302 her emergency contact, even when we were married. 222 00:10:19,304 --> 00:10:20,824 Good luck with the test results, Grace. 223 00:10:20,826 --> 00:10:23,427 Will, it was... it was good seeing you. 224 00:10:23,429 --> 00:10:24,989 What did he mean by that? 225 00:10:24,991 --> 00:10:26,751 I think he just meant it was nice to see me, 226 00:10:26,753 --> 00:10:28,112 and he understood that my feelings about... 227 00:10:28,114 --> 00:10:30,074 No, the thing before that. 228 00:10:30,076 --> 00:10:33,198 What did you mean by Will being my, uh, emergency contact 229 00:10:33,200 --> 00:10:34,839 - when we were married? - Grace, it doesn't matter. 230 00:10:34,841 --> 00:10:36,281 No, just say it. 231 00:10:36,283 --> 00:10:37,683 You never shared anything with me. 232 00:10:37,685 --> 00:10:39,485 You always ran to Will. 233 00:10:39,487 --> 00:10:41,967 Wasn't that the problem with our marriage? 234 00:10:41,969 --> 00:10:44,130 You could never be in a relationship with me, 235 00:10:44,132 --> 00:10:47,934 because you're always gonna have this weird thing with Will. 236 00:10:47,936 --> 00:10:50,136 Oh, so that's it? I don't get a last word? 237 00:10:50,138 --> 00:10:51,778 No, you get the last word 238 00:10:51,780 --> 00:10:54,821 by bringing up who gets the last word. 239 00:10:54,823 --> 00:10:56,583 Well, how about we're done talking 240 00:10:56,585 --> 00:10:58,225 and no one gets the last word? 241 00:10:58,227 --> 00:10:59,907 - Fine. - You did it again! 242 00:10:59,909 --> 00:11:02,069 You know what, I want the last word, 243 00:11:02,071 --> 00:11:03,591 so you get on that elevator, 244 00:11:03,593 --> 00:11:05,954 and you stand there silently, 245 00:11:05,956 --> 00:11:08,597 until the door closes in your face. 246 00:11:08,599 --> 00:11:10,921 - You know, this is... - Ay... oh... oh... ooh... 247 00:11:13,003 --> 00:11:15,684 Last word. 248 00:11:15,686 --> 00:11:18,247 - Bye, Grace. - Dah... 249 00:11:20,652 --> 00:11:22,692 Why is your friend at the lady doctor? 250 00:11:22,694 --> 00:11:24,414 Why does anyone go to any doctor? 251 00:11:24,416 --> 00:11:27,177 Fear and pills. 252 00:11:27,179 --> 00:11:29,461 But you mind your own business. 253 00:11:32,585 --> 00:11:34,986 Do you know how I could find a doctor like that? 254 00:11:34,988 --> 00:11:36,347 Ask your mother. 255 00:11:36,349 --> 00:11:37,949 I live with my dad and brothers. 256 00:11:37,951 --> 00:11:40,994 Oh, boo hoo, I didn't ask for your life story. 257 00:11:43,597 --> 00:11:45,157 You're mean. 258 00:11:45,159 --> 00:11:47,842 You have no idea. 259 00:11:52,567 --> 00:11:54,647 Why do you need to go to the doctor anyway? 260 00:11:54,649 --> 00:11:56,569 Mind your own business. 261 00:11:56,571 --> 00:11:58,531 Hm... 262 00:11:58,533 --> 00:12:00,894 Brava. 263 00:12:00,896 --> 00:12:03,617 But seriously, you can tell me. 264 00:12:03,619 --> 00:12:05,019 I got a working relationship 265 00:12:05,021 --> 00:12:06,700 with every doctor on Park Avenue. 266 00:12:06,702 --> 00:12:09,183 Come on, what's going on? What's the deal? 267 00:12:09,185 --> 00:12:11,105 Oh. Fine. 268 00:12:11,107 --> 00:12:14,149 You're gonna be like that? All right. 269 00:12:14,151 --> 00:12:16,111 If you're not gonna tell me what's wrong with you, 270 00:12:16,113 --> 00:12:17,592 then we are done. 271 00:12:17,594 --> 00:12:21,276 There is nothing left to say, period. 272 00:12:21,278 --> 00:12:23,038 Ah-ho. 273 00:12:38,478 --> 00:12:41,161 Okay, Jordan, listen... 274 00:12:42,603 --> 00:12:45,606 This isn't "The Miracle Worker," okay? 275 00:12:46,698 --> 00:12:48,538 You need to make actual noises with your mouth. 276 00:12:48,540 --> 00:12:50,940 - I don't think I can do it. - What you're having right now 277 00:12:50,942 --> 00:12:53,903 is what we in the trade call performance anxiety, 278 00:12:53,905 --> 00:12:57,710 and what my friend Will calls date night. 279 00:12:59,311 --> 00:13:01,912 Nothing? No, nothing. 280 00:13:01,914 --> 00:13:03,916 This guy gets it. 281 00:13:04,557 --> 00:13:07,078 Mm, okay. Look, everybody gets scared, 282 00:13:07,080 --> 00:13:08,680 but you can't stop trying. 283 00:13:08,682 --> 00:13:11,923 When you're an actor, you gotta believe in yourself, 284 00:13:11,925 --> 00:13:13,927 even when you don't. 285 00:13:15,890 --> 00:13:17,409 ♪ Ben ♪ 286 00:13:17,411 --> 00:13:20,172 ♪ The two of us need look ♪ 287 00:13:20,174 --> 00:13:23,736 ♪ No more ♪ 288 00:13:23,738 --> 00:13:26,619 ♪ We both found ♪ 289 00:13:26,621 --> 00:13:31,425 ♪ What we were looking for ♪ 290 00:13:31,427 --> 00:13:33,827 ♪ With a friend ♪ 291 00:13:33,829 --> 00:13:36,590 ♪ To call my own ♪ 292 00:13:36,592 --> 00:13:39,994 ♪ I'll never be alone ♪ 293 00:13:39,996 --> 00:13:43,638 ♪ And you my friend will see ♪ 294 00:13:43,640 --> 00:13:49,124 ♪ You've got a friend in me ♪ 295 00:13:49,126 --> 00:13:52,808 I just got the chills. 296 00:13:52,810 --> 00:13:56,412 I am an incredible teacher. 297 00:13:59,217 --> 00:14:01,618 Okay, I found the perfect activity to distract us 298 00:14:01,620 --> 00:14:03,059 while we wait for the test results. 299 00:14:03,061 --> 00:14:04,982 We are going to build a gingerbread house. 300 00:14:04,984 --> 00:14:07,304 Don't know why. Just called to me. 301 00:14:07,306 --> 00:14:10,187 What are... what are you eating? What... what are you eating? 302 00:14:10,189 --> 00:14:11,629 Strawberry ice cream, 303 00:14:11,631 --> 00:14:13,671 but I'm using chicken satay as the spoon. 304 00:14:17,517 --> 00:14:19,838 It must be bad news, Grace. 305 00:14:19,840 --> 00:14:21,960 We're gonna get through this together. 306 00:14:21,962 --> 00:14:23,842 I'll shave my head. Do you need me to shave my head? 307 00:14:23,844 --> 00:14:26,045 No, no, the test was negative. I don't have cancer. 308 00:14:26,047 --> 00:14:29,569 Oh, thank, God, I have a weird skull. 309 00:14:29,571 --> 00:14:31,491 Hey, but this is great news! 310 00:14:31,493 --> 00:14:33,853 Come on...... this is great. 311 00:14:33,855 --> 00:14:35,655 Whoo! 312 00:14:35,657 --> 00:14:38,538 Why am I whooing alone? 313 00:14:38,540 --> 00:14:39,980 Is Leo right? 314 00:14:39,982 --> 00:14:41,662 Did our relationship ruin my marriage? 315 00:14:41,664 --> 00:14:43,103 Yeah, you got a little strawberry... 316 00:14:43,105 --> 00:14:44,905 Was I supposed to go to him instead of you? 317 00:14:44,907 --> 00:14:46,908 - Just... just... stop, stop. - Are we weirdly close? 318 00:14:46,910 --> 00:14:49,551 Stop, stop... stop talking for a second. 319 00:14:49,553 --> 00:14:51,555 There. 320 00:14:54,718 --> 00:14:58,040 I believe you were asking if we are weirdly close. 321 00:14:58,042 --> 00:14:59,682 - Yeah, are we? - Yes! 322 00:14:59,684 --> 00:15:01,203 But here, you know what this is like? 323 00:15:01,205 --> 00:15:02,565 Oh, is this gonna have 324 00:15:02,567 --> 00:15:04,127 something to do with Princess Di? 325 00:15:04,129 --> 00:15:06,009 I think we both know the answer to that. 326 00:15:06,011 --> 00:15:08,852 Remember how we both hated Camilla Parker Bowles? 327 00:15:08,854 --> 00:15:10,974 We were young. We rushed to judgment. 328 00:15:10,976 --> 00:15:13,056 Exactly. Everyone thought she was the villain, 329 00:15:13,058 --> 00:15:15,259 because she broke up this storybook romance. 330 00:15:15,261 --> 00:15:18,062 - Well, do not forget the hats. - I wish I could. 331 00:15:18,064 --> 00:15:20,505 But all she really did was... was help Charles realize 332 00:15:20,507 --> 00:15:22,427 the storybook wasn't true. 333 00:15:22,429 --> 00:15:25,550 Wait, who's Princess Diana in this situation? Leo? 334 00:15:25,552 --> 00:15:28,233 Sadly, yes. 335 00:15:28,235 --> 00:15:30,395 And I'm Camilla. 336 00:15:30,397 --> 00:15:32,077 Here, sit down. 337 00:15:32,079 --> 00:15:33,799 The point is, 338 00:15:33,801 --> 00:15:35,961 no happy marriage ends in divorce. 339 00:15:35,963 --> 00:15:37,643 - Ah... - I mean, I was there. 340 00:15:37,645 --> 00:15:39,726 You tried everything you could. 341 00:15:39,728 --> 00:15:41,247 Months of therapy. 342 00:15:41,249 --> 00:15:43,450 Grace, you tried golf. 343 00:15:43,452 --> 00:15:45,412 "Is the ball in the hole?" "No." 344 00:15:45,414 --> 00:15:46,813 "How 'bout now?" "No." 345 00:15:46,815 --> 00:15:48,896 "Is it lunchtime?" "No." 346 00:15:48,898 --> 00:15:51,619 You only came to me 347 00:15:51,621 --> 00:15:53,301 when you already knew it was over, 348 00:15:53,303 --> 00:15:56,264 just like I came to you when things with Vince were over. 349 00:15:56,266 --> 00:15:58,266 You're right. 350 00:15:58,268 --> 00:15:59,948 So, you let Leo think what he wants. 351 00:15:59,950 --> 00:16:01,269 - You're right. - What matters is 352 00:16:01,271 --> 00:16:02,951 - you know the truth. - Exactly. 353 00:16:02,953 --> 00:16:04,513 You don't have to explain anything to him. 354 00:16:04,515 --> 00:16:06,115 Hell no. 355 00:16:06,117 --> 00:16:07,997 You're gonna go explain things to him, aren't you? 356 00:16:07,999 --> 00:16:10,279 Uh, Princess Jambalaya's not getting the last word. 357 00:16:12,323 --> 00:16:13,603 All right, we good? 358 00:16:13,605 --> 00:16:15,165 - Everything go okay? - Yeah. 359 00:16:15,167 --> 00:16:16,886 You do everything I told you to do? 360 00:16:16,888 --> 00:16:19,289 - Yeah. - Good stuff. Have a nice life. 361 00:16:24,016 --> 00:16:25,616 Honey, you have somebody you can talk to 362 00:16:25,618 --> 00:16:27,258 about these things, right? 363 00:16:27,260 --> 00:16:30,181 Like a husband or a lover? 364 00:16:30,183 --> 00:16:32,303 What? No. 365 00:16:33,667 --> 00:16:36,590 Why does it always have to be me? 366 00:16:38,552 --> 00:16:40,392 Honey... 367 00:16:40,394 --> 00:16:42,795 I know what just happened was a big deal. 368 00:16:42,797 --> 00:16:45,158 It isn't fun, but this day never is. 369 00:16:45,160 --> 00:16:48,802 For me, it was the summer of fift... 370 00:16:48,804 --> 00:16:51,967 sixt...'79. 371 00:16:55,130 --> 00:16:58,372 I was sitting on my front porch, 372 00:16:58,374 --> 00:17:00,855 listening to my transist... my Walkma... 373 00:17:00,857 --> 00:17:03,620 my iPod shuffle... 374 00:17:05,502 --> 00:17:08,383 And then it happened. 375 00:17:08,385 --> 00:17:11,506 Well, I just wanted to run into my room and hide, 376 00:17:11,508 --> 00:17:13,829 but my mom's idiot boyfriend 377 00:17:13,831 --> 00:17:16,472 screamed to the whole neighborhood, "Hey! 378 00:17:16,474 --> 00:17:19,836 Lois's kid just became a woman." 379 00:17:19,838 --> 00:17:21,237 And then my mom celebrated 380 00:17:21,239 --> 00:17:23,079 by opening her bottle of good scotch 381 00:17:23,081 --> 00:17:25,001 and giving everybody in the neighborhood a drink, 382 00:17:25,003 --> 00:17:27,524 everyone except the anxious 12-year-old 383 00:17:27,526 --> 00:17:29,528 who needed it the most. 384 00:17:31,731 --> 00:17:34,452 Look, Tasha, the point is, 385 00:17:34,454 --> 00:17:37,657 I survived, and so will you. 386 00:17:38,859 --> 00:17:41,179 You're not really mean, are you? 387 00:17:41,181 --> 00:17:43,183 How dare you! 388 00:17:45,746 --> 00:17:47,748 Get over here! 389 00:17:51,432 --> 00:17:55,475 Mind your own business. 390 00:18:00,764 --> 00:18:02,221 What are you doing here, Grace? 391 00:18:02,223 --> 00:18:04,696 You and I did not get divorced 392 00:18:04,698 --> 00:18:07,990 because Will and I are too co-dependent 393 00:18:07,992 --> 00:18:09,511 or whatever. 394 00:18:09,513 --> 00:18:11,073 Oh, crap. 395 00:18:11,075 --> 00:18:14,397 I see you're still unaware of your wingspan. 396 00:18:14,399 --> 00:18:17,039 Well, at least you're not blaming me and Will. 397 00:18:17,041 --> 00:18:20,884 Well, technically, you came here to talk about Will, so... 398 00:18:20,886 --> 00:18:22,686 You know what, can I just please finish? 399 00:18:22,688 --> 00:18:24,167 I'd let you, but you're putting his gall bladder 400 00:18:24,169 --> 00:18:25,449 where his liver goes. 401 00:18:25,451 --> 00:18:28,214 One drink, and he will explode. 402 00:18:29,695 --> 00:18:31,455 Stop being charming. 403 00:18:31,457 --> 00:18:33,713 You are wrong about our marriage. 404 00:18:33,715 --> 00:18:37,637 It did not end because of Will and me. 405 00:18:37,639 --> 00:18:40,601 - You're absolutely right. - I am? 406 00:18:40,603 --> 00:18:43,804 I mean, I know I am, but... I am? 407 00:18:43,806 --> 00:18:45,526 Grace, it ended because of you. 408 00:18:45,528 --> 00:18:48,129 Me? Me? 409 00:18:48,131 --> 00:18:50,892 You were the one who joined Doctors Without Borders, 410 00:18:50,894 --> 00:18:54,135 met a blonde, and it became Doctors Without Pants! 411 00:18:54,137 --> 00:18:56,538 You see, you bring this up every time. 412 00:18:56,540 --> 00:18:58,020 Well, it was a big deal! 413 00:18:58,022 --> 00:18:59,702 Well, that was our first marriage, Grace. 414 00:18:59,704 --> 00:19:02,345 The second time, I was in it, okay? 415 00:19:02,347 --> 00:19:03,706 I tried. 416 00:19:03,708 --> 00:19:05,268 But... but you never let me back in. 417 00:19:05,270 --> 00:19:08,752 I couldn't complain, because I was the cheater. 418 00:19:08,754 --> 00:19:11,715 I... I didn't have a leg to stand on. 419 00:19:11,717 --> 00:19:13,357 You're right. 420 00:19:13,359 --> 00:19:15,038 I am? 421 00:19:15,040 --> 00:19:17,842 I-I mean, I-I know I am, but I am? 422 00:19:17,844 --> 00:19:21,245 I tried so hard, Leo, 423 00:19:21,247 --> 00:19:23,167 but I just couldn't forgive you. 424 00:19:23,169 --> 00:19:25,930 - I know you tried. - I did. 425 00:19:25,932 --> 00:19:28,055 I took up golf for you. 426 00:19:31,058 --> 00:19:33,018 I took up golf for you. 427 00:19:33,020 --> 00:19:34,500 I hate golf. 428 00:19:34,502 --> 00:19:36,422 "Can I get back on the cart now?" "No." 429 00:19:36,424 --> 00:19:39,387 "How 'bout now?" "No." "Are we the only Jews?" "Yes." 430 00:19:41,429 --> 00:19:43,189 Now I'm sad. 431 00:19:43,191 --> 00:19:45,472 We could've not played golf together. 432 00:19:45,474 --> 00:19:48,756 I guess we just got our signals crossed. 433 00:19:48,758 --> 00:19:50,760 Yes, we did. 434 00:19:53,563 --> 00:19:55,883 Okay... 435 00:19:55,885 --> 00:19:58,286 I guess, um, 436 00:19:58,288 --> 00:19:59,768 I'm gonna go. 437 00:19:59,770 --> 00:20:02,731 - 'Kay. - Oh, uh, one more thing, 438 00:20:02,733 --> 00:20:04,493 I... I don't have cancer. 439 00:20:04,495 --> 00:20:07,218 I know. I ta... I talked to Will. 440 00:20:08,339 --> 00:20:10,499 Hey, Grace... 441 00:20:10,501 --> 00:20:13,102 you took my heart. 442 00:20:13,104 --> 00:20:15,867 You took my heart too, Leo... 443 00:20:17,629 --> 00:20:19,469 But I believe 444 00:20:19,471 --> 00:20:22,793 that we both are gonna find love again, 445 00:20:22,795 --> 00:20:25,476 with the person we're supposed to be with. 446 00:20:25,478 --> 00:20:28,882 No, I mean, you took my heart... 447 00:20:29,923 --> 00:20:32,363 From the model. 448 00:20:32,365 --> 00:20:34,368 Yeah, you, uh... 449 00:20:36,170 --> 00:20:38,172 You put it in your purse. 450 00:20:42,216 --> 00:20:44,256 I mean, I-I'm sure it was an accident, 451 00:20:44,258 --> 00:20:47,860 but, you know, they... they kill you on the replacement parts. 452 00:20:47,862 --> 00:20:50,385 You so set me up. 453 00:20:59,315 --> 00:21:01,636 We always had that, didn't we? 454 00:21:01,638 --> 00:21:03,197 We certainly did. 455 00:21:03,199 --> 00:21:06,283 - And that ain't nothing. - Sure ain't. 456 00:21:09,046 --> 00:21:11,006 See you around, Adler. 457 00:21:11,008 --> 00:21:13,010 Bye, Leo. 458 00:21:14,546 --> 00:21:19,655 Subtitles by explosiveskull 459 00:21:19,657 --> 00:21:21,497 Last word. 459 00:21:22,305 --> 00:21:28,309 Please rate this subtitle at %url% Help other users to choose the best subtitles 33393

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