All language subtitles for dmt-pretendiendo.English

Pretending

Fabiola, put me
through to Pablo, please.

Amanda...

the client directly contacted
our company's Board of Directors

to complain about
your attitude towards them.

Pablo, they insist
on using cheaper windows

and reject several key
safety points to lower costs.

I can't let this happen.

I'm the one responsible for this project.

Amanda, dear, sometimes
you have to pull your pants down.

Look, let's talk about it tomorrow
at the office. Goodbye.

- Hello?
- My love, how nice to hear you.

For me too, my love.
I haven't stopped thinking of you.

I adore you.

Well, I hope you haven't forgotten
about tonight's commitment, have you?

Commitment?
What commitment?

Fernanda's birthday party.

Fernanda?
Oh, your friend, Fernanda.

No, I haven't forgotten.

I'll pick you up around 8:30.

You're staying with me tonight, right?
Come on, tell me you are.

It's been a while since we last played.

I feel like being your kitty.
Meow.

My love, I can't talk
about that right now?

Are you working late?

Give me a second, all right?

What were you telling me?

My last meeting is close to Fernanda's,

if you want to meet...

What was that?

Nothing.
Let's meet around 8:00.

As soon as I finish,
I'll head over there.

I love you.

Bye, love. I love you.

What did you forget, Daddy?

Faster, faster!
A little more, squeeze me hard.

Yes, honey, yes!

Do you want me to be a kitty for you?

Yes! I'm coming. I'm coming.

Yes, yes... Meow!

Fernanda, my love, you're the best.

Pepe, baby...

Little Tomcat...

Little Kitty...

I want you to pick my outfit for tonight.

All right, but quick.

I don't want to be here
when your guests arrive.

Am I early?

Hey, hey, stop, please!

I know this looks odd, but...

but it's not what you think.

You think I'm an idiot?

No, friend, no. No, I swear.

Fernanda, I've told you a thousand times
I don't like you coming to my house!

It's my house.

My love, it's just that I've
been feeling lonely these days,

I needed to talk to somebody.

She means nothing to me.

- Love?
- Yes, love?

Which Love are you talking to?

Okay, okay!
Can we stop this, please?

- This is going too far!
- Too far?

I think there's still one thing
left unfinished.

Do you know why you're here?

Does it have anything
to do with the shotgun?

You tried to kill two people.

If I wanted to kill two people,

they'd be dead by now.
I just wanted to scare them.

With a shotgun?

They got scared, didn't they?

Do you know what would happen
if every time we got angry

we went around scaring people
with a shotgun?

Perhaps there'd be fewer men
screwing their girlfriends' friends.

How did you feel after what you did?

Avenged. Complete.

Satisfied.

At peace.

Is it important for you
to write down in your report

some sort of credible or positive excuse?

That would really help.

Look, I've always been...

a sane and controlled woman.

Then tell me what happened yesterday?

Sometimes I'm a
little intense, that's all.

Will you let me go?

I promise there won't be
any more shotguns.

And the shotgun...

what gauge was it?

What shotgun?

The other night we talked for hours.

Talking about how much he loved me,

about kids, family.

And then what... deception?

Did anyone find out what happened?

The Board was the first to find out and,

unfortunately, they added this
to the recent issues with our clients

and decided to use it against you.

What do you mean?

I'm very sorry,

you're fired.

Fired?

How dare you call yourself my friend?

You make me sick.

Valpara�so, Chile

It's funny how some human beings

get close to God only
when we have problems.

I can't recall having come to Church
to celebrate or give thanks.

Only to ask for help.

God's arms are always open.

Around here they call me Brother Juan.

I'm Amanda.

Just visiting?

I'm thinking about moving here.

In the end, my wife left me.

She couldn't handle the pressure.

I don't like remembering the past.

I'm not proud of it.

And here I am, ten years later.

No one looks for me,

and nobody would even think
about looking for me here.

You're lucky to find a place like this.

Yes.

I could use a costume like yours.

This is not a costume, it's a habit.

What about you?
What are you hiding from?

From love, men,

appearances, and other lies.

Well, Miss, I think
you'll like this apartment.

It belongs to my brother,
who is a painter and lives in Paris.

He returns in six months.

That gives you time to see
if you like Valparaiso.

Well, goodbye, and call me
if you need anything.

Thank you.

Mr. Lopez, please?

This is Max Lopez.

Good morning,
my name is Amanda Miranda.

I'm from Mexico, but I've been living
in Chile for a couple of years now.

I don't know if you're aware of some
of the projects I've taken part in...

No more men,
no more relationships.

Perfect!

Hello, Mr. Max Lopez?

Yes, the man in the blue shirt.

Thank you.

Amanda Miranda,
pleased to meet you.

It's a pleasure, Amanda.

I'm really impressed by what you do.
Excellent work, Amanda.

Thank you.

There's only one
thing that bothers me.

This is not the capital and
I don't know if I can offer you

the money you're used to getting.

Don't worry, Mr.
Don't worry, Max.

My coming here to live
has nothing to do with money.

Truth is, I didn't make
much money in Santiago.

Besides, my husband helps me out.

Whatever you're offering
to start will be fine.

So you're married. Good.
Any children?

Two.

Good.

- Welcome.
- Thank you.

I think it will be a great
experience working with you.

Let me give you some information
about your three colleagues.

Guillermo.

He is still working on his Master's
in architecture in the evenings.

Wife, three kids,
another one on the way.

Organized, kind.

The spirit of a worker ant.

With the appetite of an army.

- Good morning.
- Good morning, Karen.

Karen, just graduated.

Brilliant, ambitious, competent.

She wants to go very high,

very soon.

She'd kill to get what she wants,

without thinking twice.

The one who hasn't arrived yet
is Marcelo Rocco.

My best architect.

Brilliant...

... diligent, smart, hard worker.

The rest is for you
to find out on your own.

I only ask you to be patient with him.

Patient?
He sounds like the ideal person.

You'll see what I mean.

That's how it is

All the giris fall for me,
yeah, yeah, yeah

That's how it is

- All the giris fall for you
- They all fall

That's how it is

This will be like a toothache,
it's going to hurt

But you won't let me pull it out

That's how it is

All the giris fall for me, yeah, yeah

- That's how it is
- Even you fall for me

- All the giris fall for you
- They all fall

They all fall

I'm Marcelo Rocco, Architect.

Max just told me about you.

Amanda Miranda.
Nice to meet you.

Ugh, what a monster.

My God, why do you do these things?

Or did you create
her from the leftovers?

I brought you a little gift, this plant.

- It's tropical.
- Thank you.

What's in her mouth: Teeth or snails?

This can't be happening.
Having to work in front of this guy.

Another one of those who
should be locked up for being an idiot.

I'm sure you must
be amazed by my looks.

Just your type.

Have you met the rest of the team?

No. Max told me about them,
but I haven't had the pleasure.

And that hair...
If you ever want to sue...

your hairdresser,
let me know, I'll be your witness.

Men like you make me sick.

You think you have the right
to judge someone solely by their looks.

This plant only needs a little sun
and a lot of water.

Even though it's from the Caribbean,
it doesn't like the sun.

Amazing, isn't it?

I'm trying to see the positive,
but I just can't find it.

I can smell your ex cess
of testosterone from here,

and I'm sure you left your ego outside,

it wouldn't fit through the door.

Max sent this folder for you.

It's yours to review before the meeting.

I'll leave it here.
Do with it as you like.

Welcome!

Amanda,

I'm sorry to begin
your first day with issues,

but we're in a very serious situation

and we need your opinion to solve it.

Pardon me, Max,

but I think before we solicit
an outsider's opinion,

we should continue
with our research.

I told you I would have
a complete report within the week.

I think we could have
a solution at any moment.

I know you've been
working hard on this, Karen,

but our clients are inquiring daily,

and since Amanda
joins our team today,

she's not an "outsider."

In that case, I'm obligated
to ask for her opinion.

Marcelo and Guillermo designed
a complete re-modeling

of the old Telmex building

for a new communications company.

It appears to be finished,

but they're experiencing interference
and noise with their Internet.

They are probably having problems
with their VP1 service.

What do you know about VP1 services?

A little.

Amanda has worked in over a dozen
communications projects

and has devised several theories
about the advantages of using

the new VP1 system in architecture.

Consider her our expert in this case.

I want Marcelo and Guillermo
to accompany Amanda to the site

so she can see what this is about.

Marcelo?

I'm very busy, I have to...
I'm going to follow the expert.

- So, we'll talk later. I'll call you.
- Call me later.

- At your house?
- Yes.

The bulge is very important,
very motivating.

What bulge are we talking about?

What bulge? The package.

The thing, "our thing".

That's what we're talking about.

I took the test one day.
I stuffed a big sock in there.

A big bulge like this. Huge!

I used a soccer sock.

I adjusted my pants,
and went out for a walk.

There I began to see
the women's reactions.

When they first see it, they make
an effort not to look down,

but it's like they have a radar,
so they automatically look and...

Oh! They see it!
They sense it, they feel it,

and they immediately want it.

And, if they don't want it,
they want to go talk about it.

Because by the time they get home,
they've embellished the story,

and they're desperate
to tell someone what they saw.

That animal that must be hiding in there.

And that's when you attack,
because you see they are starving.

It's important to stop the hunger.
So, we need to feed the giris.

But let's not forget,
men do it when they can,

and women, whenever they want.

So, what do we do?
Motivate them to want it.

That's incredible.

Let's see what the expert is up to.

Because, "I have important things to do
and giris to meet...",

and our expert is lost.

I doubt the problem lies...

in the city's drinking water plans.

But, I don't know
what the expert will think.

I'm just checking the plans
to see the distance

between the construction site
and the railway station:

The connections,

and the drinking water
and sewer channels.

Let's go down to the station.

I think women have a sixth sense.

No, I think they have a sensitive sex,
which is very different.

And it's sensitive because most guys
don't know how to juice that lemon.

Come on, Marcelo, I'm serious.

I'm serious too. This is serious.

What is more important in life than sex?

Even love is a more poetic way

to end up in sexual intercourse.

I call it "Morbid Energy".
I have a theory about this.

Nobody taught me about this.

That's my point. They need to be
teaching this in the schools.

There should be a subject called
"Pussyology" for men in school.

I mean it.

They teach you about Columbus
arriving in America, who cares?

Who cares if it's one
year earlier or three later.

Imagine yourself in bed with a woman.

No, I can't.

Yeah, you're in bed with a woman.

No, I can't imagine that.

Let's say someone else
is in bed with a woman.

- Good.
- Okay.

They start making out,

things get heated,

and what does she say?

What year did Columbus discover
America, my "conquistador"?

And what do you say?
1486.

More! More! More!

1489. More! Mo.

More! I don't know, 1490.

More, more!
I'll help you discover America.

1492!
Yes! Yes!

Yes! Yes! Yes!

Land ho! Yes, yes!

Am I interrupting?

Well, guys, just like I thought.

The station's chief gave me
the energy consumption details.

It's huge, out of the ordinary,

and it's even more when two trains
leave at the same time.

As we already know, water and
metal are electricity conductors,

and according to the plans,
the main drinking water channels

pass right under both sectors,
which explains the waves interfering.

All we have to do is go
to the building's basement,

measure the water mains and monitor
the trains departures. Let's go.

Guillermo, you tell us every time
a train leaves, okay? Over.

Everything's under control, over.

Marcelo, this device will
send signals to the computer.

Check the signal's levels on screen
and make sure to record them

every time Guillermo
indicates a train's departure.

Got it. I would've gone in your place,

but, to be honest I have
a little bit of claustrophobia.

And besides, I just shined my shoes.
It wouldn't be right, you know?

Yeah, sure. Just pay attention.

Hello?
Can you hear me?

- Yes.
- Loud and clear, over.

Guillermo, I'm ready,
Give us the signal.

There's one leaving right now, over.

Amanda, the marker
is giving a high signal.

Perfect! Now, send another
signal down the other pipe.

Another train leaving, over.

Okay, the signal's very strong!

Amanda, you hear me?

I have reception problems, but...

Problems... help!

- Amanda.
- Amanda's in trouble, over!

I'll go see what's happening!

Amanda?

Are you okay?
I thought you were in trouble.

No, I had to see if the magnetic
interference was blocking the system.

Can you please turn around?

I had to take my clothes off
so I wouldn't get them dirty.

Turn around!

- I hope your shoes didn't get dirty.
- Too late.

No worries, everything will be finished

and isolated in a couple of days.

No, it suddenly occurred to me to review
the city's drinking water plans.

Then I realized, of course,
that metal and water are conductors...

Well, I won't explain
all the technical details, but...

It's done. I've fixed it, so...
No, no, there's no need.

You're welcome.
See you later.

You've been to Divertilandia?

My husband is a fanatic
and my kids love it.

Ah, you have children.
I haven't noticed.

Two. Two boys.

My husband's a sales manager.

Husband, too?

Yeah, he's a great man,
but travels a lot on business.

He's got a pharmaceutical company
with branches all around the country.

You know, this afternoon
was special, I really enjoyed it.

I felt like Tom Cruise in
"Missi�n lmpossible."

How about going for some beers

to celebrate the success
of our "Missi�n lmpossible"?

Sorry. I'm not used
to drinking so much beer.

It wasn't that many, you only had two.

Well, it was enough
to open the barn doors.

I mean the barn doors, the...

Oh! Sorry, sorry.
It's the beer.

I have a riddle for you.

What's the similarity between
a beer and a woman?

I don't know.

When I get close to either of them,
they are already wet.

Get it?

What a great joke.

Well, I have to get going.

It's my day to bathe the kids.

My wife worries when I'm late.

It's good to do this
once in a while, huh?

Once in a while!

I had a great time. Thank you.

Likewise.

This should cover my beer and the tip.

Guy's a loser.

A total loser.

I think he's exceptional.

Yeah, you think so?

He works all day, studies at night,

lives with a fat wife,
and the money is never enough

because his three kids eat like horses.

Does that seem like
an exceptional life to you?

Obviously it is for them.

What about you?

The guy with the ideal lifestyle?

Where are you going after this bar?

I'm going to Heaven, like an �ngel.

No, I'm going to "Heaven." It's a club.
Nice club, very classy.

Good music, nice atmosphere,
beautiful women?

Very beautiful.

And the next day, you wake up with

With a series of memories that fade
with the first wash of the sheets.

They go to the laundry,
and fall right off.

Next to a woman you'll never call.

That sounds nice.

You're not interested
in building real friendships

or trust with these women?

I don't know, something
a little more profound.

Oh, for God's.

The only thing profound in a woman
that is of interest to men

is the profundity of her neckline.
What else is there?

Trust and friendship
are like a big ice cube

on a metal tray
in the middle of a desert.

How about that great metaphor?

It melts.

What is your ideal woman like?

Dark hair, with nice tits,

waist like a wasp's, and an ass...
also like a wasp's,

one who, after I come,

turns into a pizza, would be perfect.

So if you meet a woman

who is not good enough to eat,

someone like me,

you wouldn't even look at her.

Well, you can look, but...

there are a lot of beautiful women,

and the more I go out to all the clubs,
every day, every night,

and go out and meet all the women

there wouldn't be enough time
to meet all of them.

So it's very important not
to waste time with women...

Like me.

"The pretty one's desired,
the ugly one gets hired."

As the saying goes.

One of these days
you'll meet a woman,

very beautiful and smart.

That would be a miracle.
That combination doesn't exist.

But this one will be different.

She will be like...
like Helen of Troy.

Who?

When you meet her, you'll be willing
to give up your kingdom for her.

My kingdom?

Your kingdom, your independence.

- That will never happen.
- You'll see.

You're going to fall in love.

I'll soon see you
with a pretty house with a garden,

a dog, three kids
and a fourth on the way.

Never!

- No, please. My treat.
- Thanks.

I'm a gentleman, after all...

"The pretty one is desired.
The ugly one gets hired. "

"The only thing profound in a
woman that is of interest to men

is the profundity of her neckline.
What else is there?"

What is your ideal woman like?

Dark hair, with nice tits,

waist like a wasp's, and an ass...

also like a wasp's.

It clearly says in
the label, only dry clean.

I will be right back.

I finally found you!
I was getting desperate.

- What are you doing?
- Who is this?

Easy, I'm her brother!

Nothing's going on.

Well... no. It's Mom.

- Mom.
- She jumped again.

When I got there she was
on the floor in a puddle of blood.

Luckily she lives
in the Ground Floor, but...

No, we need to take her to a hospital.
Come with me, please.

- Now?
- Yes, now. Quickly.

She was unconscious,
the ambulance came, they took her...

I'll tell you later, let's go.

Calm down. Bye, I have to go.

That was very smart and daring
what you did in there.

What if he was my boyfriend
or someone who knew me?

I don't know, I guess I would've
thought of something else.

Marcelo Rocco is my name,
but call me "Mar-chello."

"Mar-chello."

I like witty men like you.

You're Argentinean, aren't you?
From what part?

I'm from Buenos Aires,

but my father started
a business in Chile years ago.

But it doesn't matter where I'm from.

What matters is I'm here,

and now.

There's no need to waste it.

I was thinking, well...

Obviously, I like you,

I'm pretty sure you like me,
and I think this place is pretty noisy,

and it would be better to go
to another place, don't you think,

to be, I don't know, alone...

Do you want to get laid?

Are you playing with me?

No, you misunderstood
me completely.

No, no, I said go to a more comfortable
place just to talk, so we can...

Get laid.

You should tell it like it is.

And you,

you want to get laid.

I see we have things clear here.

So, your place or mine?

Oh, Marcelo.
I thought you were different.

Of course. It looks like
you misunderstood me.

I said let's go to another place

simply for a change
of atmosphere, that's all.

Did it bother you what I said?

I don't know, it's just that...

I really thought something beautiful,
special was growing between us.

Sure, it was a kind of give and take.

You give off a really special energy

and I think that I give
off something similar

and this is what attracts
us to somebody, right?

And we should explore that.

Okay, then, it's all clear.

Let's take things slowly,
there's no need to rush.

Of course there is...

I mean, of course you're right.

I see "taking things slowly"
as a philosophy, you know?

Well, I'll tell you later
about Buddhism...

I've dabbled in that a little, I uh...

It's hard to talk about these things.

But yes, of course.

And... I don't know,

maybe next time...

we can share a moment...

of delicate passi�n.

Passi�n?

Yes, yes, of course. Later on.

But for now, I have to go.

- So soon?
- Yeah.

I don't even know your name.

- Helena.
- My card.

- Goodbye.
- Bye.

What a sweet piece of ass,
you can't imagine what I'll do to you.

How's mom doing?

She's getting better.

Send her my regards.

Stop, stop, stop, because I'm a...
"Brother",

This is not a confessi�n.

If you want to talk,
talk and let it all out.

But please, tell me,
what's with the costume?

Last night I went to a bar...

pretending to be someone else.

Let's see. You went
to a club as the other you.

And now you're pretending
you're someone else?

Don't linger on the details.

It's like this: A man,

someone I work with...

I'm like a spider casting her web...

to trap him and then eat him.

Which you are we speaking about?

The other me, the old me. Helena.

I thought your name was Amanda.

Yeah, but I changed it last night.

I'll have to write this down
so I don't get confused.

Helena is similar to
how I was in Santiago.

A magnet to attract men,

men who need to learn their lesson.

A good lesson.

You're getting weird.

Not me.

Helena.

Wow!
What happened to you?

It's nothing. Women...

Cupid became blunt?

Go ahead, laugh,
you have every right to.

I came for something else.

It must be Spring time
or the "Cupid effect",

but there's something
I wanted to tell you.

Yesterday you made me the hero...

with that whole thing at work.

Well, you solving it really shows that

you're a very talented woman
and I respect that a lot.

I almost admire that.

Can't make it today...
How about tomorrow? Helena

So you had another amazing night
with your new friend?

Oh, yes, amazing.

She was very insistent, very insistent.

She wanted to go somewhere
more intimate, and...

You know what I did?

Nothing.

I left her with the urge.

It's one of my approaches.

What a coincidence...

her name's Helena.

I'm making her suffer.

I'm cooking her over a low flame.

It's a technique of mine.

Meat is an Argentine specialty.

First, you quickly sear the outside,

then you reduce the flame...

leaving it crispy on the outside
and juicy on the inside.

Real juicy.

My meeting was drawn out.

Dinner at your place tomorrow?

She's coming over to my place tonight.

I'll give her what she
deserves, and after...

next one in line please.

That's how it is, yeah, yeah

All the giris fall for me, yeah, yeah

That's how it is, yeah, yeah

All the giris fall for you

The giris wet their pants
just by looking into my eyes

It's because I drive them mad
like honey does with bees

I'm a poisonous piece of lust,
I'm the fury

Of those envious fools
who lost their girlfriends

Pleasure lies within the glory
and pleasure is on your skin

You pay for the condoms,
the champagne and the hotel

And I'll make you feel
like you're in heaven

Baby, I have a reputation
of being great at that

That's how it is, yeah, yeah

All the giris fall for me

That's how it is, yeah, yeah

- All the giris fall for you
- Even you, babe.

That's how it is, yeah, yeah

All the giris fall for me, yeah, yeah.

Hello.

Hello.

- Come in.
- What happened to you?

I got dirty...

in the kitchen.

Occupational hazards.

Would it bother you
if I closed the windows?

No, that's fine.

Because the chilly breeze
finds its way inside.

And once it gets cold in here
it's hard to warm back up.

I made Chinese.

- It's to die for.
- Really?

Yes. I love working with my hands.

- I do arts and crafts and I paint.
- You don't say.

Yeah, I really enjoy it.

I've never been able
to get the hang of chopsticks.

I always use a fork.

I'm very Western like that, you know.

You cook really well.
You have to give me the recipe.

- You liked it?
- Yes.

I learned how to cook this
on a trip I made to Thailand.

I was torn between this
and Thai kickboxing.

I chose cooking over violence.

I'm not much of a fighter.

Tell me something.

Do you get these impulses very often?

What impulses are you referring to?

These... cooking impulses.

These impulses?

Cooking impulses?

These?

I love to cook over a low flame.

This impulse...

We're talking about these impulses?

Do you like how I cook?

This happens very often...

my cooking impulses...

- it gets me excited.
- Stop, stop.

I'm sorry.

The truth is it's been a while
since I've been with a man.

I don't know,

and perhaps I'm a little sensitive.

That's understandable.

- You understand?
- Don't worry.

- You do?
- Yes, yes, after a while,

your body becomes unaccustomed...

to being in contact with other bodies.

But little by little,
that territory becomes...

more familiar, little by little.

I said no.

Um...

I'm sorry.

The truth is I must get up
early tomorrow

and it's getting late,
you know?

- I think I better go.
- But you're not mad, right?

I thought you liked what was going on.

Yes, yes, yes, but in fact...

I really have to get up early.

- Yeah, of course.
- Yeah, I have to go.

- Work before pleasure.
- But you know what?

You cook like the gods.

- Did you like it?
- Yeah.

- That's all that matters, right?
- Yeah.

- All right.
- Okay.

Bye.

You're acting strange.

You haven't told me
how your date went last night.

You can't imagine...

wonderful.

Wonderful.

Yeah...

Amanda,

I need to talk to you.

I have to tell you something.

The truth is she's got me crazy.

Because she doesn't...

I need to speak about this with someone

and I think you're the right one.

But it doesn't leave this room.

Just between you and me.

Everything is happening backwards.

I've never been treated like this.

I'm usually the one in control,
but not this time.

And it's driving me nuts.

It's really driving me nuts.

I'm sure you can help me.

Me?

- What do I know about this?
- You're a woman,

and you're my friend, aren't you?

I didn't know that.

I thought you didn't have woman friends.

That's cold.
Resentment is very cold.

No, let's not start...

no, you're my friend, of course.

And you have to help me.

What do I have to do?
How do I have to act

in order to get her into bed?

You must stop thinking about women

as if they were a piece
of barbecued meat.

Oh yeah? What is there
in life besides sex?

Marcelo, you have
to be more romantic.

I like watching you walk.

You're like a soft and docile cloud,

with a very impressive little ass.

Like that?

Excuse me, can I
help you with something?

- Anything else?
- No, thank you very much.

- Sure.
- Thank you.

- Here you go. See you later.
- Bye.

Amanda.

- Getting some exercise?
- Yeah.

- Shopping?
- Looks that way.

- For all the family?
- Just a little.

My husband bought almost
everything last Wednesday.

Now that you mention it,

- I've never seen your husband.
- Well, he works and travels a lot,

supervising different
branches and everything.

You know how it is.

- What about your children?
- They're fine, thank you.

I suppose they're at the day care center
or with the nanny right now.

Right.

But it's a lie with a good purpose.

What purpose?

Stop wearing that awful mask
all the time. You scare me.

You're crossing the limits
of what's rational.

You just don't know how nice
it feels to be able to go out,

sit on a bench and take in the sunset

without some man accosting me.

But anyway, that's not what I'm here for.

- I need to ask a favor.
- Of course, that's what I'm here for.

I need...

- I need you to help me get two.
- Two what?

Good morning!
Hold him a second, will you?

Can you help me?

Marcelo, could you bring me
the little pram that's in my car.

- The what?
- The baby-walker.

I need to change
my son's diaper.

- What should I do?
- Give him his milk.

Hold him closer. That'll help him
get used to it for when he grows up.

Here you go, little guy. Here you go.

We're gonna change this stinky diaper.

That's it.
That's it.

Oh, you're holding so still.

What is this?
It's because we had beans.

Stinky, stinker.

I'm sorry for all the fuss,
but the nanny didn't come

and I had no other option.

But as soon as she arrives,
I'll take them home.

All done, my love.

That's it, come here.

Come over here, yeah.

- Did he already finish the milk?
- Your car has arrived.

Thanks, Marcelo.
Can you turn it around?

Have some milk.

He doesn't want the milk.

- Have some.
- Come here.

That's it.

Oh, you got Aunt Karen dirty.

I'll be right back.

You like cars?
Which car should we pick?

A Porsche or a Ferrari...
You're in the Ferrari team, like me.

This is the gear lever...
Put it in first...

second gear...

What a great car this is.

The Intergalactic Kid.

She's coming over tonight,
there's no way out.

Good luck.

Welcome.

Hi.

- How are you?
- Fine, and you?

Great.

I have a little surprise for the lady.

- Thanks.
- I'm sorry about the flowers,

I never imagined you were allergic.
I threw them out.

It's okay. How could you know?

The thing is, I'm very allergic
to that particular flower.

- They've disappeared. They're gone.
- It's a shame, they're so beautiful.

Anyway, let's change topics

I can't believe how well
you cooked the pizza.

You're lucky to have gotten that recipe
straight from the Italians.

- Yeah, you're right.
- There's nothing like traveling.

I really like traveling.

I like to wander across the worid.

I like watching you walk.

You're like a docile and soft cloud.

What a poet. You're so romantic.

Go on, I like it.

It turns me on.

Let's see...

Woman of infinite mystery

You come and go

And you handle me like a child

You provoke me, you evoke me

You make me feel alive

If I could play a harp

To express with music

My feelings for you

Which do not exist in words

If I were a rainbow

To show you my colors
in the approaching dusk

Or if I were the ocean

For you to undress and bathe in me

If death is a journey

To go hand in hand

On the infinite voyage.

Did you like it?

I liked it too.

Seriously, did you like it?

I'm sure you say that to all the women.

You're naughty.

You're so naughty.

Shall we go to your room?

Jasmine skin...

how lovely.

- May I?
- Yes.

Get comfortable.

Here.

- Come here.
- Like this?

You little devil.

- Yeah, take this off.
- This?

- Yeah.
- Okay.

Just leave it.

- Do you like it?
- Yeah.

- Yeah?
- Very much.

- How much?
- Too much, I think.

I'm really sorry, Helena.

You've already told me that 11 times.

I just don't know how...

how this happened.

This has never happened to me before.

My equipment always works.

- Are you mad?
- No, not mad.

You seemed to be somewhere else.
Where were you?

I don't know.
Things kept coming to my mind.

What things?

I kept thinking about someone
at the office.

A woman?

No, it's not that.
No, no, no.

It's something else.

I can see clearly that things
won't work out between us.

No how could you think that?

The problem is I like you too much,
it must be that.

Or the wine maybe,
or it could've been the pizza.

- You never know with pizza.
- See you.

Helena. Helena.

You do that again
and off with your head.

Perhaps you were too aggressive

by giving yourself to him in that way.

It was just too much for him.

Men aren't used to the idea
of women taking initiative.

They like it,
but it takes them by surprise.

And I know what I'm saying because
before becoming a man of the cloth,

I was a man. You get my drift?

May I ask you a question?

Is he well endowed?

I'll be late for work.

I had an epiphany

and everything went wrong.

Is that contagious?

No, it's an epiphany.

An expressi�n of the meaning
of one emotion or thing.

Did I tell you how beautiful she is?

She is perfect for me.

She's nice... I'm nice.

She's pleasant...

I'm very pleasant.

She's very pretty...

and I'm...
well you know, attractive.

I get it, so?

So... Well...

After my poetic moment,
we were, you know, in the foreplay

things were heating up...

and that's when the epiphany hit.

Another woman entered my thoughts.

- Karen?
- No.

You.

- Me?
- Well, not you but...

I'm sure it was the kids
playing around the other day.

You, the kids, the entire family.

But what's important...

is that the image unleashed
a sort of technical problem...

Let's see, um...

you know physical, biological.
You know?

You don't mean...

- Don't do that.
- I'm sorry.

This is very serious.

No one needs to know about this.

This has never happened to me before.

It's the first time...
and the last.

I took a few steps back.

I'll have to get my edge back.

- Well, let's see what we can do...
- Yeah?

For example,
is there anything you've noticed

that you've done to impress her?

I don't know, something like...

your clothes,

your intellect,

- your hair...?
- My cooking!

- Like your Chinese food?
- Exactly. That's good.

Another type of food.

Something with aphrodisiacs.

It must be something important,
an important food.

And you can teach me.
That's a great idea.

- Okay.
- That's excellent.

When did I tell you
about the Chinese food?

It doesn't matter.
Can you come over today?

Welcome to my kingdom.

This is the dinner table...

where my victims
always end up on the plate.

Don't dump it all out, just a little bit.

I told you to leave just a little bit.
There's nothing left.

Well I don't know.

You've got to mix that first.

You were supposed to mix it first.

- Well, I...
- What are you thinking?

Good, good. It turned out perfect.

This is wonderful.

Great idea to have lunch up here.

Yeah, it really was.

I had a good time cooking
with you yesterday.

Me too.

That was the first time a woman
came to my place...

A woman... as a friend.

Do you like how things are going?

It's not too difficult?

I'm sure it's difficult...

with the kids, their education, work.

Luckily, not all men think like you.

It must be complicated.

Men who are afraid of commitment

are always looking for excuses.

Do you think I'm afraid of commitment?

Absolutely.

Why?

You love playing cowboys, but...

you don't want the one playing
with you to have bullets in their gun.

Some things are right in front of you
and you still don't see them.

I think I should...

walk a little slower and enjoy the view,

instead of only worrying
about where I'm going.

Maybe I should do things differently.

It's simple:

You don't trust any woman,

because you don't trust yourself.

You're afraid...

I'm sorry.

Do you think she's after Marcelo?

But, Karen,

I don't think she's like that.

How can you be so sure?

Witch.

This software's great, Max.

Where did you get it?

From Amanda.

She wrote it herself, gave it to me

and I installed it on my computer.

It's really great. It's amazing.

- Incredible.
- Yes.

Amanda is wonderful.

She's a box full of surprises...

Hey,

I've noticed that you two
get along very well.

It caught me by surprise, but yeah.

I know, you've never spent
more than 10 minutes

on a woman that wasn't...
you know the type...

- 10 minutes?
- Hey, guys!

I can see that Max is talking about me.

Honey,

you forgot your phone again.

Also brought you some cookies and coffee.

Sweetheart, you shouldn't have bothered.

No bother at all, honey.

Thank you, darling. You're so beautiful.

- Bye, baby.
- I love you.

- Take care.
- Okay, thanks.

You're a lucky man.

You think I don't know?

It doesn't come cheap.

You have to want it and earn it,

for life to be that kind to you.

How do you know when you've found
the right woman?

You just feel it.

I feel it with all of them,

but after one crazy weekend,
I don't feel it anymore.

I know how it is.

Look, let's do something.

- Close your eyes.
- Are you going to kiss me?

- No, not yet.
- I was going to put on lipstick.

Close your eyes.

Now, who comes to mind
when I mention the word...

tits?

A goddess I met last year.

She had these exceptional,

enormous cans.

They were the size of watermelons
not cantaloupes.

- They were amazing.
- That's not the one you're looking for!

Close your eyes and let your mind
go blank again.

Now, who comes to mind
when I mention the word...

woman.

That's the one!

DINNER TONIGHT, YOUR PLACE?

I FEEL LIKE PLAYING
A DIFFERENT GAME...

No one's ever made me do this before.

Promise me this will stay
between you and me...

Okay, I'm ready!

What are you thinking about?

I don't want to scare you.

If you didn't already know

I'm a woman who's not afraid of anything.

Perhaps I don't want to scare... myself.

Tell me what's going on
inside that head of yours.

You're not having problems
with the "equipment" again?

No, it's not that.

Go on then, tell me.

I wanted to tell you...

that I think I love you.

Look,

if you want sex, we'll have sex.

But don't come at me with that bullshit.

You don't believe me?

I do love you!

Men like you don't love,

- they conquer, which is very different.
- That was then.

But I've changed.

Okay.

Let's go to your room.

I think I know what you need.

Come, let's go.

You really are special.

It's just that...

all my previous relationships

were only about the sex.

Why do you have to bring
that up right now?

Because it's important.

This isn't a game to me.

I want you to know that.

I want it to be different.

Different?

Well, then...

let's do it differently.

Lay down.

Let's play, okay?

- Hang on.
- Look at that.

Truth is, sadomasochism
is kind of new to me.

Oh, look.
You've brought something else.

It started out kind of fun...

but this is getting
a little weird, isn't it?

Do you think I'd be so stupid
to believe your game

and your cynical words of eternal love,

and your alleged "change"?

What for?

So then you end up
in bed with my best friend?

No, Marcelo.

That will never happen to me again.

And this...

this is so you and those like you

learn a lesson.

No. I'm being sincere with my feelings.

I'm truly ready.

That's how I feel.
What are you going to do?

Helena, don't...

El Mercurio newspaper?

Get me a reporter, please.

Marcelo Rocco?

Is that your name?

Yes.

What did that woman do to me?

I don't have long to live, right?

- Sir, there's nothing.
- Will I die right now?

There's nothing wrong with you at all.

What do you mean nothing at all?
I saw her cutting me.

It's a prop knife.

Someone wanted to play a joke on you.

And she made sure that the reporters
got here before us.

I swear she was cutting me, I saw blood.

I know what I saw.

It's ketchup.
No, no!

There's no difference
between the shotgun incident

and what you did
to that poor guy last night.

He literally could have
been scared to death.

Yeah, I know.

I just wanted to...

teach him a lesson...

but then...

I looked at him,

he was so defenseless...

I suddenly felt compassionate for him.

My child,

you're in love with Marcelo.

No, no, no...

I don't believe in love,
I don't believe in men.

I swore I'd never fall for their lies
again and I don't intend to.

Amanda?

Yes?

Did you hear about what happened
to poor Marcelo?

Some broad scared the hell out of him.

No kidding?

She must have been an animal.

Is Marcelo okay?

He's fine.

His ego is the only thing that got hurt.

Imagine, everyone heard about it.

And on top of it all, Marcelo
isn't pressing charges against her.

Here's the newspaper,
take a look for yourself.

Have a nice read.

See you.

S & M Transvestite

Amanda?

- Hi.
- Hi.

I was worried about you.

I haven't seen you in two days.

Are you okay?

Marcelo,

there's something I have to tell you.

That woman...

Helena.

How am I?

That's what you're asking?

I don't know how I am.

I'm not gonna use this anymore.

It gets in the way.

Marcelo...

Marcelo?

Yes?

- Ready for lunch?
- Yeah, let's go.

We'll talk Monday, all right?

Actually Wednesday,
because Tuesday is a holiday

and we won't work on Monday.

- Okay.
- Let's go.

- Amanda?
- How do you know where I live?

Can we talk?

Okay, but quietly
because everyone's sleeping

and I don't want to wake anyone up.

Well,

I just wanted to say thanks.

For being my only and best friend.

Of all the women I've known,

you're the only one
who's been a friend to me.

Good, I'm glad,
but let's talk tomorrow, okay?

There's something else.

I was thinking...

how lucky your husband is...

to have found someone special like you

to share his life with.

I know it sounds weird,

but it's something I've
been feeling for a while now

and I had to get it off my chest.

Pretend that this is just a dream,

or...

maybe even a nightmare,
worst case scenario,

but don't let it change our relationship.

I'm in love with you.

You don't have to say anything.

I just wanted to tell you...

that I've fallen in
love with your beauty

and that I think...

I think you're pretty.

Because you opened my eyes

and...

because I went to sleep as a boy

and woke up as a man...

because of you.

I fell in love with who you are...

your essence

and your absence.

Because I miss you
when you're not around.

I know this sounds a bit strange,

but you know me like no one else
and you'll understand me.

I feel better now.

I'm free.

I just had to tell you that.

But don't be offended,

you or your family.

I wanted to tell you that
and one more thing.

The woman I'm seeing now...

- You're seeing someone?
- Karen.

- You knew, didn't you?
- No.

- I mean yes...
- She's not my friend.

Karen is not really a friend,
I mean, she'll become one.

But we still haven't spoken
about deep things, like you and I do.

Are you drunk?

No, I've had a glass or two,

but a little emotional, yes.

Mostly just open and honest.

I wanted to ask for your blessing.

For what?

To marry her.

I just proposed to her.
She said yes.

- Proposed to who?
- Karen.

- What?
- Yeah.

I know it seems kind of sudden,

but I'm ready.

Helena woke something up in me
that should've been awake all along.

And you, you above all,

made me realize
that the important thing

is to believe

and not be afraid of commitment.

I feel good and I feel ready

and...

Do I have your blessing?

Marcelo...

Thank you.

Thank you.

I knew it.
I knew it.

I knew there was something
between you two.

Or the three of you.

- I knew you were in love with him.
- Not me, him... with me...

or, not me, with Amanda,
the fat, ugly girl.

I don't know, I don't understand it.

Love can't be understood.

You don't understand feelings,

you feel them, you enjoy them.

And that's why we were created.

Yeah, but he's marrying Karen!

He asked her if I could be
the Maid of Honor.

- Why don't you tell him the truth?
- Really?

And what should I tell him?

That Amanda isn't who he thinks she is?

And that I'm Helena, too?

The one who left him terrified
and tied to the bed?

Don't you see that
if he finds all this out,

he'll flee in terror from the monster
that I've become?

Listen, you've played different roles

and yet you always stay the same.

He's in love with you, with all
the faces that you've shown him.

Except for the real one.

Stop smoking. Give me that.

Hey.

- Hello.
- Hello.

Well...

Isn't your family coming?

Marcelo...

My husband,

my kids,

my family...

don't...

aren't...

aren't coming.

- One of my sons isn't feeling well...
- Oh, okay.

I didn't want him here crying
in the middle of the ceremony.

I don't think Karen
would have liked that.

No, I guess not.

Well,

thanks...

for everything.

This won't come loose.

Wait, I hope no one's watching.

Ah, there we go.

Please be seated.

Dear friends,

sisters and brothers,

We are gathered here today

to celebrate the uni�n

of these two children of God.

You have come here, brothers,

so that the Lord,

before the Church

and the Christian community,

may consecrate your love.

Dear friends,

you met one another

in a random place.

But you looked into each other's eyes

and you understood each other.

Then you talked

and then you loved each other,

which has lead you here today,

to this place

to marry one another.

Let's begin...

Marcelo,

do you take this beautiful,

green-eyed woman

to be your lawfully-wedded wife?

Marcelo, Marcelo.

Will you take this beautiful woman

as your lawfully-wedded wife?

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