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1
00:00:05,480 --> 00:00:10,760
- Hallo? - Hallo?
Yes? - Sorry to disturb you.
2
00:00:10,839 --> 00:00:13,960
Am I speaking to the switchboard
of the illustrious company...
3
00:00:14,679 --> 00:00:18,240
- ..ltalpetrolcemetermo
textilfarmometalchemicals? - Yes.
4
00:00:18,359 --> 00:00:21,760
My name is Mrs Fantozzi Pina...
5
00:00:21,839 --> 00:00:25,520
..the wife of accountant
Fantozzi Ugo, an employee of yours.
6
00:00:25,679 --> 00:00:30,560
(Receptionist) No phone calls allowed
except for notifications of death.
7
00:00:30,640 --> 00:00:35,360
Wait, I would humbly like
to remark,...
8
00:00:35,719 --> 00:00:40,360
..that I haven't had any news
of my husband for the last 18 days.
9
00:00:40,920 --> 00:00:47,240
I'm sorry to disturb you,
but I'm starting to get worried.
10
00:00:47,520 --> 00:00:50,760
- (Receptionist) Hold on.
- Thank you, miss.
11
00:00:50,840 --> 00:00:56,160
That's very kind of you.
They will find out about daddy.
12
00:00:56,840 --> 00:01:00,920
Is a certain accountant Fantozzi
part of our staff?
13
00:01:01,000 --> 00:01:04,160
I can look at the personnel office.
Fabriani, Facchetti...
14
00:01:04,239 --> 00:01:08,120
...Falabrino, Zarotti, Battifer,
who messed up the files?
15
00:01:08,200 --> 00:01:12,800
General Archives here:
found! ID 7820l8-a.
16
00:01:13,359 --> 00:01:15,320
Janitor? We need the master key!
17
00:01:19,799 --> 00:01:23,840
That's his punch card,
only the entrance is clocked in.
18
00:01:24,079 --> 00:01:27,440
Notify the office
of lost employees.
19
00:01:29,000 --> 00:01:35,074
AmericasCardroom.com brings poker back
Million Dollar Sunday Tournament every Sunday
20
00:02:21,280 --> 00:02:23,280
What was behind this wall?
21
00:02:23,400 --> 00:02:27,520
The old toilets. They walled them up
20 days ago.
22
00:02:27,599 --> 00:02:29,560
Break through this wall.
23
00:02:55,280 --> 00:02:57,880
- Come on, help him!
24
00:02:59,520 --> 00:03:03,840
- Do you feel sick?
- How did it happen?
25
00:03:05,199 --> 00:03:13,520
- Thanks. - How're you? - Perfect,
just a slight appetite.
26
00:03:13,919 --> 00:03:18,720
(Altogether) Bravo!
27
00:03:23,280 --> 00:03:25,240
7 C.
28
00:03:25,879 --> 00:03:28,640
Miss.
Ok, 13 M.
29
00:03:33,759 --> 00:03:36,000
- Water, miss.
30
00:03:36,080 --> 00:03:41,600
- Miss Silvani, I'm back.
- Yes, I know.
31
00:03:46,759 --> 00:03:50,320
- Accountant, I'm back.
- A 6. - Hit.
32
00:03:50,400 --> 00:03:52,800
- Is it a cruiser?
- Yes.
33
00:03:54,120 --> 00:03:56,080
P 1 2
34
00:04:04,840 --> 00:04:09,880
- Ah! - Carboni?
- Were you hiding? - Ouch!
35
00:04:10,199 --> 00:04:12,160
Good morning, Miss Silvani.
36
00:04:30,319 --> 00:04:35,280
- Fantozzi? - Ouch!
- Are you hurt? - Not at all.
37
00:04:35,360 --> 00:04:39,520
Since you already have so many files,
why don't you take mine too?
38
00:04:39,600 --> 00:04:42,880
- It's my pleasure.
- Thanks.
39
00:04:59,399 --> 00:05:02,840
In order to stamp his punch card
exactly at 8:30
40
00:05:03,439 --> 00:05:07,560
Fantozzi used to wake up at 06:15.
That was 16 years ago.
41
00:05:08,079 --> 00:05:11,800
Today, after many experiments
and improvements,...
42
00:05:11,920 --> 00:05:16,440
he wakes up at 07: 51
43
00:05:16,680 --> 00:05:20,040
stretching the limits of human possibilities.
44
00:05:20,600 --> 00:05:23,200
Everything is calculated
in split seconds:
45
00:05:23,279 --> 00:05:25,960
5 seconds to come to.
46
00:05:26,040 --> 00:05:30,560
4 seconds to bear his wife's appearance...
47
00:05:30,639 --> 00:05:33,640
...over 6 seconds to ask himself,
as usual, and with no answer,...
48
00:05:33,720 --> 00:05:39,240
...why he married that
domesticated creature in the first place
49
00:05:39,319 --> 00:05:42,440
3 seconds to drink his wife's
abominable coffee
50
00:05:42,519 --> 00:05:47,000
... at 3000 degrees Fahrenheit.
51
00:05:47,199 --> 00:05:51,440
8 to 10 seconds to
cool off his burning tongue.
52
00:06:12,560 --> 00:06:15,640
2 1/2 seconds to kiss
his daughter Mariangela.
53
00:06:19,800 --> 00:06:22,760
Simultaneous combing
and latte-drinking
54
00:06:27,360 --> 00:06:31,320
Brushing teeth with mint toothpaste
and coffee flavor,...
55
00:06:33,160 --> 00:06:38,760
...causing a physiological response
requiring another 6 seconds European time.
56
00:06:38,839 --> 00:06:41,360
...3, 2, 1!
57
00:06:43,720 --> 00:06:46,120
Now 3 minutes to get dressed,...
58
00:06:46,279 --> 00:06:50,000
...and run to the bus stop
for the 08:01.
59
00:06:56,759 --> 00:06:59,960
Barring unforeseen consequences.
60
00:07:04,439 --> 00:07:06,400
Switch!
61
00:07:17,160 --> 00:07:19,240
We'll never make it.
62
00:07:20,000 --> 00:07:23,640
- So?
- I'll catch the bus from above.
63
00:07:23,879 --> 00:07:27,520
- No! - No, daddy.
- Yes, I'll jump from the balcony.
64
00:07:28,160 --> 00:07:34,000
- I'll save 2 minutes.
- You never did it before, you're not ready!
65
00:07:35,160 --> 00:07:38,640
I've never done it,
but I've always dreamt of doing it.
66
00:07:44,040 --> 00:07:47,480
- Ugo! - What is he doing?
- He's catching the bus from above.
67
00:07:56,879 --> 00:08:00,560
- Come on, accountant!
- Thanks.
68
00:08:36,519 --> 00:08:41,480
(PEOPLE SHOUTING)
69
00:08:41,879 --> 00:08:43,840
Don't push!
70
00:08:46,360 --> 00:08:48,320
What are you doing?
71
00:08:51,799 --> 00:08:55,280
- What happened?
- No, not me!
72
00:08:59,039 --> 00:09:02,560
- Who was the first one?
- (Altogether) He was!
73
00:09:05,320 --> 00:09:11,560
Wait, I need to go to work,
I have to punch my card.
74
00:09:24,559 --> 00:09:27,720
- I'm late.
- Wait.
75
00:09:27,799 --> 00:09:32,960
- you must sign, it's your responsibility.
- Do you have a pen? - No.
76
00:09:33,039 --> 00:09:36,840
I'll sign with my blood. Goodbye.
77
00:09:45,240 --> 00:09:49,720
- Come on, Fantozzi, you can make it!
- Come on. - You've arrived.
78
00:09:50,759 --> 00:09:53,320
Once more, Fantozzi!
79
00:09:54,080 --> 00:09:56,480
Come on, last effort.
80
00:09:59,960 --> 00:10:03,000
Don't help him or he'll be disqualified.
81
00:10:03,120 --> 00:10:06,280
- Get up, you'll make it!
- Don't give up.
82
00:10:07,440 --> 00:10:12,840
- You're almost there.
- Come on! - Come on, Fantozzi.
83
00:10:13,960 --> 00:10:19,080
Just 100 meters
and you're there. Come on, Fantozzi.
84
00:10:19,639 --> 00:10:21,600
Come on, Fantozzi!
85
00:10:21,879 --> 00:10:29,120
(Altogether) Al�! Al�! Al�!
86
00:10:32,879 --> 00:10:39,440
(Bell ringing)
87
00:10:40,679 --> 00:10:47,000
The exit looked like the starting line
of the 100 meter Olympic championships.
88
00:11:17,399 --> 00:11:25,080
(Bell ringing)
89
00:11:27,159 --> 00:11:31,680
Miss Silvani was elected Miss 40th floor
for the second time.
90
00:11:32,559 --> 00:11:36,440
Fantozzi had been desperately
courting her for 7 years.
91
00:11:37,639 --> 00:11:42,800
- Fantozzi, what are you doing here?
- Nothing, I need a file.
92
00:11:42,879 --> 00:11:45,640
- Miss Silvani?
- Yes?
93
00:11:45,720 --> 00:11:49,760
I would like to give you a dual color
band for your adding machine.
94
00:11:49,840 --> 00:11:52,720
(Fantozzi)
I know they don't give them out here...
95
00:11:52,799 --> 00:11:59,280
How nice! Fantozzi,
you're an angel.
96
00:11:59,360 --> 00:12:02,840
Miss, I...
if it doesn't bother you...
97
00:12:03,679 --> 00:12:07,120
- Miss Silvani?
- What?
98
00:12:07,200 --> 00:12:10,560
- Did you see the sun
shining... - Yes, nice.
99
00:12:10,840 --> 00:12:14,520
- Are you leaving? - I have an urgent file.
- I'll do that.
100
00:12:14,679 --> 00:12:16,880
I have to go to the bathroom.
101
00:12:17,480 --> 00:12:22,760
During the funeral of the mother
of earl Lamberti,...
102
00:12:22,840 --> 00:12:26,560
...Mega-natural Managing Director,
deceased at 126 years of age.
103
00:12:27,600 --> 00:12:33,360
Fantozzi was in complete panic.
104
00:12:33,440 --> 00:12:37,000
Miss, may I come with you?
105
00:12:37,080 --> 00:12:40,760
Thanks, but I'll take the tram
with surveyor Carboni.
106
00:12:41,120 --> 00:12:44,280
- I insist!
- but I promised him!
107
00:12:44,360 --> 00:12:51,240
- I have a car.
- Well... are you taking me home? - Yes.
108
00:12:51,399 --> 00:12:53,360
We should have talked about it today.
109
00:12:53,559 --> 00:12:57,840
I have a very important meeting.
Where are you going?
110
00:12:58,519 --> 00:13:03,920
- Please, miss. - Also the flowers.
Ouch! Open! - God!
111
00:13:04,120 --> 00:13:09,440
- Fantozzi, are you kidding?
Do you want me to die? - My mistake.
112
00:13:09,600 --> 00:13:12,440
A bad mistake.
113
00:13:12,639 --> 00:13:15,920
Which one is yours? This piece of junk?
114
00:13:16,080 --> 00:13:19,640
- The hearse was better.
Let's go. - Please.
115
00:13:19,720 --> 00:13:21,680
My hand!
116
00:13:22,919 --> 00:13:27,520
Get on the other side.
(Fantozzi complains)
117
00:13:28,919 --> 00:13:33,120
What's up?
All right, I got it.
118
00:13:34,240 --> 00:13:40,240
- Are you hurt?
- No, just my finger got smashed.
119
00:13:40,360 --> 00:13:45,320
- Be careful I am closing.
- Wait, I'll do it.
120
00:13:53,399 --> 00:13:57,920
Excuse me, I slightly smashed...
121
00:13:58,639 --> 00:14:01,640
- It could have been worse.
- Much worse.
122
00:14:02,639 --> 00:14:06,440
See the countess?
Today we are alive, and tomorrow we are not.
123
00:14:06,919 --> 00:14:12,280
''Enjoy today, because you never
know about tomorrow''
124
00:14:12,960 --> 00:14:17,880
- Nice poem, is it yours?
- Yes, something from my youth.
125
00:14:17,960 --> 00:14:21,440
What does it mean?
126
00:14:21,519 --> 00:14:25,880
Let's pick up the spring flowers
before the winter comes.
127
00:14:25,960 --> 00:14:28,360
- So...
- Go on.
128
00:14:28,440 --> 00:14:33,080
May I have the honor to invite you
for lunch at ''Gigi the fucker''?
129
00:14:33,159 --> 00:14:39,000
- It's a bit late...
- You're busy.
130
00:14:40,159 --> 00:14:43,520
- Ok... I accept.
- You accept?
131
00:15:03,679 --> 00:15:08,880
- Ouch!
- You assholes.
132
00:15:32,039 --> 00:15:36,400
- Get out, you turd.
- Show them who you are!
133
00:15:49,639 --> 00:15:52,840
- Now who's the asshole?!
- Me! Me!
134
00:15:58,639 --> 00:16:05,640
- Mind what you say!
- Do something. - Just a moment.
135
00:16:09,320 --> 00:16:14,520
- Punch them.
- Say it again, if you have the guts.
136
00:16:16,000 --> 00:16:18,600
If you dare to shout I...
137
00:16:19,600 --> 00:16:21,560
What's up?
138
00:16:31,919 --> 00:16:38,120
- I think everything is clear,
I would like to go. - Where?
139
00:16:41,639 --> 00:16:44,880
My hand! My hand, my hand!
140
00:16:45,679 --> 00:16:51,840
What do you want now?
It's all the lady's fault!
141
00:16:52,039 --> 00:16:54,400
That stupid lady's fault!
142
00:16:57,480 --> 00:17:01,360
You are disgusting.
Treating a woman that way.
143
00:17:01,879 --> 00:17:05,480
You know that was just a trick
in order to avoid...
144
00:17:05,680 --> 00:17:09,280
..a rough fight.
145
00:17:09,480 --> 00:17:13,960
- Thank you.
- What are you doing? Miss?
146
00:17:14,480 --> 00:17:16,800
Miss, what are you doing?
147
00:17:18,000 --> 00:17:22,120
- Miss, and our lunch?
- I'm not hungry anymore.
148
00:17:22,359 --> 00:17:24,320
I booked.
149
00:17:34,599 --> 00:17:36,760
(Noise)
150
00:17:47,359 --> 00:17:50,400
Excuse me? Are you insured?
151
00:17:52,759 --> 00:17:55,000
- Pina?
- Yes, one moment.
152
00:17:55,119 --> 00:17:58,760
I just wanted to tell you that
you are the most important woman...
153
00:17:58,880 --> 00:18:02,440
- ...and the most beautiful I have ever...
- Oh, Ugo.
154
00:18:03,519 --> 00:18:05,480
Damn...
155
00:18:07,319 --> 00:18:09,280
Good morning.
156
00:18:21,240 --> 00:18:23,600
(Whistle)
157
00:18:36,680 --> 00:18:38,640
(Whistle)
158
00:18:43,400 --> 00:18:48,440
- Damn. - Good morning.
- How are you, Fantozzi?
159
00:18:48,839 --> 00:18:52,360
- Do you have change?
- Good morning, director. Sure.
160
00:18:52,440 --> 00:18:55,640
One moment...
Here it is, my last one.
161
00:18:56,319 --> 00:19:00,200
I tried before and
it doesn't work.
162
00:19:14,480 --> 00:19:17,520
In every social circle,
there's always a certain person...
163
00:19:17,599 --> 00:19:20,720
...who organizes the
recreational events.
164
00:19:20,799 --> 00:19:24,880
In Fantozzi's society
this was Filini.
165
00:19:24,960 --> 00:19:28,960
New year's eve dinner,
Mario Canello orchestra,
166
00:19:29,039 --> 00:19:31,680
...Filini organization.
167
00:19:31,759 --> 00:19:34,040
Participation is mandatory.
It only costs 5000 liras.
168
00:19:34,119 --> 00:19:38,440
- I don't know... - I've already
signed you up, and your wife too.
169
00:19:38,519 --> 00:19:44,040
- and also the monkey... Albertina...
- Mariangela. my daughter.
170
00:19:44,119 --> 00:19:45,720
Yeah, sure, she doesn't need to pay.
171
00:19:45,799 --> 00:19:50,360
Fantozzi had never been able to escape
From Filini's abominable initiatives...
172
00:19:50,640 --> 00:19:57,400
...starting from the yearly football
match between bachelors and married employees.
173
00:19:57,480 --> 00:20:00,840
It takes place on the most devastated
field on the outskirts of town.
174
00:20:01,480 --> 00:20:04,800
The teams always play
very badly because of:...
175
00:20:04,880 --> 00:20:08,680
...desertions, forbidding from
mothers, spouses and house doctors.
176
00:20:09,359 --> 00:20:11,520
- Heads.
- Tails.
177
00:20:14,200 --> 00:20:20,160
- Here. - Where is it? - Stop.
- There it is.
178
00:20:20,319 --> 00:20:24,440
- Here. - No, that's a pebble.
- Don't stir up the water. - Carefully.
179
00:20:25,400 --> 00:20:27,360
(Referee whistle)
180
00:20:29,079 --> 00:20:32,040
- Careful. - Under there.
- Give it to me.
181
00:20:32,559 --> 00:20:34,880
- No, in the water.
- Take it out.
182
00:20:35,160 --> 00:20:38,360
- Quickly.
- Pass the ball.
183
00:20:38,519 --> 00:20:42,000
- Stop him! - To the right.
- Don't push. - Careful!
184
00:20:42,119 --> 00:20:46,080
- Goal!
- I scored!
185
00:20:46,599 --> 00:20:50,040
- I scored! - Bravo!
- We are great.
186
00:20:54,880 --> 00:20:58,360
- Braggart.
- Referee? That's a penalty!
187
00:21:00,519 --> 00:21:04,040
- Come on, kick it.
- One moment.
188
00:21:09,039 --> 00:21:15,000
(referee whistle)
189
00:21:15,319 --> 00:21:17,880
- Careful.
- Come on. - I'm going.
190
00:21:19,160 --> 00:21:22,720
(Fantozzi shouts)
191
00:21:23,839 --> 00:21:26,960
(ironically) The goal scorer,
who is he?
192
00:21:27,039 --> 00:21:30,360
- Referee, it bounced twice.
- What happened?
193
00:21:35,279 --> 00:21:38,880
- Mind the accountant!
- Stop him! - Push him!
194
00:21:40,119 --> 00:21:42,440
- Run!
- Stop him!
195
00:21:42,519 --> 00:21:46,520
- Bravo! - I kicked it!
- Everybody there!
196
00:21:46,839 --> 00:21:49,360
- Watch the shot!
- Look out!
197
00:21:51,079 --> 00:21:54,680
See what you did?!
198
00:22:03,039 --> 00:22:06,360
- Pass the ball. - Don't dribble.
- Don't hold onto the ball.
199
00:22:08,759 --> 00:22:12,040
- Careful...
- Corner! - Corner.
200
00:22:12,559 --> 00:22:17,160
- Let me kick it! - Hurry up.
- Here, this is the right spot. - Yes.
201
00:22:17,480 --> 00:22:19,440
- Spin.
- Kick it.
202
00:22:19,680 --> 00:22:21,640
It's mine! Mine!
203
00:22:24,839 --> 00:22:29,040
- Where's the ball? - He kicked it.
- Did you kick it? - Yeah.
204
00:22:29,119 --> 00:22:33,120
- but I should've kicked it!
- I wanted to surprise them.
205
00:22:33,200 --> 00:22:37,280
Go! Go! Go!
206
00:22:37,359 --> 00:22:42,280
- Keeper! - Where is he?
- Goal!
207
00:22:43,400 --> 00:22:47,120
Kick him out!
208
00:22:47,680 --> 00:22:51,600
- It wasn't my fault. - Twice,
first with the right foot and then with the head.
209
00:22:51,680 --> 00:22:57,160
- I understand that...
- I won't play anymore, go away!
210
00:22:57,599 --> 00:23:01,440
- Ball!
- Come on, accountant!
211
00:23:03,119 --> 00:23:05,600
- It's mine! Mine!
- Stop him!
212
00:23:06,160 --> 00:23:09,520
After 12 minutes
of the first half,...
213
00:23:09,599 --> 00:23:13,720
...the first symptoms
of a heart attack appear.
214
00:23:13,799 --> 00:23:16,840
Followed by the implacable
dark cloud of the employer...
215
00:23:16,920 --> 00:23:20,360
every employer has his own cloud.
216
00:23:20,440 --> 00:23:24,400
these evil clouds can stay away
over 14 months.
217
00:23:24,480 --> 00:23:28,600
But once they realize their
workers are on holiday,...
218
00:23:28,680 --> 00:23:33,000
...they will pour down tons
of thick cold rain.
219
00:23:38,200 --> 00:23:40,160
- Post!
- Stop! Stop!
220
00:23:45,000 --> 00:23:48,240
- Center!
- Try the breaststroke!
221
00:23:48,480 --> 00:23:50,720
I got it!
222
00:23:53,759 --> 00:23:56,400
- The ball.
- Kick it!
223
00:23:58,720 --> 00:24:00,680
Kick it! Kick it!
224
00:24:05,200 --> 00:24:07,160
That's too high!
225
00:24:07,720 --> 00:24:11,080
- I'll head it!
- You sure? - Very sure...
226
00:24:11,799 --> 00:24:15,160
When Fantozzi sees Saint Peter
hovering over the goalpost...
227
00:24:15,240 --> 00:24:18,640
..it is a sign that the tragedy
is finally coming to an end.
228
00:24:19,240 --> 00:24:22,520
It doesn't bounce anymore.
229
00:24:23,240 --> 00:24:25,880
The match is suspended!
Everybody go home!
230
00:24:25,960 --> 00:24:29,920
Last year the married won
3 heart attacks versus 2 drownings.
231
00:24:30,880 --> 00:24:33,800
Fantozzi was Filini's
favorite victim.
232
00:24:33,880 --> 00:24:38,160
Once he convinced him to buy
a boat in partnership.
233
00:24:38,240 --> 00:24:41,840
8 kilos of bills until 1984!
234
00:24:41,920 --> 00:24:46,120
Hunted by the usual cloud,
they left during a wonderful spring day.
235
00:24:54,920 --> 00:24:59,520
(in French) Look!
Our countryside is beautiful!
236
00:25:01,000 --> 00:25:05,360
- It's the doll's fault...
- Shall I clean it? - Hands off!
237
00:25:05,440 --> 00:25:07,400
- Can you see?
- Yes.
238
00:25:08,480 --> 00:25:13,840
- I'd drive more to the right.
Or, the left. - I can see clearly.
239
00:25:16,160 --> 00:25:19,800
- Stop. Stop!
- (in French) What is it?
240
00:25:20,680 --> 00:25:25,520
What happened?
Arrest those rascals!
241
00:25:25,599 --> 00:25:29,320
(in French) I'm sorry,
Minister of Petroleum.
242
00:25:29,400 --> 00:25:33,240
- Both of you come out.
Come here. - I'm sorry.
243
00:25:33,359 --> 00:25:38,680
- Don't bother. - Accountant
Fantozzi? - Follow us.
244
00:25:38,759 --> 00:25:38,759
(in French) He's so wet.
245
00:25:41,119 --> 00:25:44,960
He was driving!
Fantozzi, tell him.
246
00:25:45,039 --> 00:25:47,000
I said that, but...
247
00:25:50,039 --> 00:25:52,640
A hundred lashes each.
248
00:25:52,720 --> 00:25:56,360
They didn't fine us.
We were lucky.
249
00:25:56,440 --> 00:25:58,960
Because of this humiliating hitch...
250
00:25:59,039 --> 00:26:02,000
...they arrived at the camping site
late that night.
251
00:26:02,079 --> 00:26:06,520
See how wonderful?
This is heaven.
252
00:26:06,599 --> 00:26:10,640
- Shall we pitch the tent?
- Yes, ready!
253
00:26:14,440 --> 00:26:18,200
- Where?
- I would say here.
254
00:26:18,279 --> 00:26:20,960
Be careful.
255
00:26:21,839 --> 00:26:27,400
(in German) Italians always noise!
Always sing, guitar and mandolin.
256
00:26:27,480 --> 00:26:30,720
(in German) Silence!
"Here sleeping, we German!"
257
00:26:30,799 --> 00:26:34,120
- (in German) We German,
no Italian mandolin! - Shut up.
258
00:26:34,599 --> 00:26:39,640
- Stop the mandolin or they'll kick us out.
- Ok.
259
00:26:40,119 --> 00:26:44,240
First, the stakes.
260
00:26:44,319 --> 00:26:46,640
- I'll take them.
- Good.
261
00:26:52,480 --> 00:26:54,440
(Iron plate noise)
262
00:26:58,000 --> 00:27:02,080
- Careful.
- Yes, careful.
263
00:27:02,160 --> 00:27:07,200
- Give me the hammer. - Shall I swing?
- No, you hold the stake.
264
00:27:07,279 --> 00:27:09,840
- Try to be careful.
- Don't worry.
265
00:27:14,400 --> 00:27:16,720
(Stifled scream)
266
00:27:44,319 --> 00:27:53,880
(painful scream)
267
00:28:04,279 --> 00:28:10,240
Please, be careful.
Damn, that hurts.
268
00:28:10,319 --> 00:28:13,480
You almost smashed my hand.
Look here.
269
00:28:14,000 --> 00:28:17,120
(Stifled scream)
270
00:28:23,440 --> 00:28:33,160
(painful scream)
271
00:28:36,640 --> 00:28:46,640
(German muttering)
272
00:28:47,240 --> 00:28:49,480
Once again, come on!
273
00:28:49,799 --> 00:29:09,880
(German muttering)
274
00:29:18,160 --> 00:29:20,120
Ouch!
275
00:29:21,599 --> 00:29:23,560
God!
276
00:29:26,440 --> 00:29:28,400
- Shall I go?
- You go.
277
00:29:28,480 --> 00:29:31,640
(the Germans laugh)
278
00:29:33,119 --> 00:29:36,160
- I would like to try.
- Sure, come on board.
279
00:29:38,599 --> 00:29:42,640
- You just have to pull the rope.
- Ok. - Shall I go on? - Yes.
280
00:29:47,759 --> 00:29:51,720
- Everything looks OK. - Perfect.
- Let's try it. Shall I go? - You go.
281
00:29:52,559 --> 00:29:54,560
It turned on!
282
00:29:59,960 --> 00:30:08,160
- Did you turn it off? - Yes.
I hate engines, I prefer sailing.
283
00:30:08,599 --> 00:30:12,480
- But you were too stingy to buy
a sailboat! - Yes.
284
00:30:12,559 --> 00:30:16,800
We can make one, with the flag,
and the pole as a mast.
285
00:30:20,119 --> 00:30:22,200
- Did it fit?
- Yes, completely.
286
00:30:23,599 --> 00:30:26,920
- Good, the wind is from the east.
- No, it's from the west.
287
00:30:27,039 --> 00:30:29,160
- It is from the east.
- I insist.
288
00:30:32,039 --> 00:30:34,080
- Shall I go?
- You go.
289
00:30:34,160 --> 00:30:38,440
They rented a rowboat
at a shameful price.
290
00:30:38,519 --> 00:30:44,120
A huge two-ton monster.
- Wait. - Not like that.
291
00:30:44,240 --> 00:30:49,200
- Don't pull. - I'm not pulling.
- Let me in, so.
292
00:30:49,279 --> 00:30:53,080
- Don't move, I'll go in.
- Where are you going? - Don't worry.
293
00:30:53,160 --> 00:30:59,840
- You need to be absolutely calm.
- Pardon me? - What are you saying?
294
00:30:59,920 --> 00:31:04,760
- Excuse me, Filini?
Come back. - What?
295
00:31:04,839 --> 00:31:08,600
I'll be back there.
We are making a mess of it.
296
00:31:08,680 --> 00:31:12,560
- Follow me, down. - Ok.
- Down, this way. - Down.
297
00:31:12,640 --> 00:31:17,440
- I'm stuck.
- No, put your leg behind your head.
298
00:31:25,599 --> 00:31:31,640
(moans)
299
00:31:32,519 --> 00:31:35,080
- I can't stand it anymore.
- Neither can I.
300
00:31:35,160 --> 00:31:37,400
I can't resist, I am going crazy.
301
00:31:38,359 --> 00:31:41,960
You sure you didn't bring
any water?
302
00:31:42,039 --> 00:31:48,240
- You should have done it.
- No, you said you would.
303
00:31:48,319 --> 00:31:50,880
No, you took the responsibility.
304
00:31:50,960 --> 00:31:54,080
The... The... the cloud.
305
00:31:54,680 --> 00:31:57,200
The employer's cloud!
306
00:31:57,279 --> 00:32:02,440
Here it is, hurray for the cloud!
Come here above, stop!
307
00:32:03,119 --> 00:32:06,400
- (Filini) Please Rain!
- (Fantozzi) Rain!
308
00:32:06,480 --> 00:32:08,240
(thunders)
309
00:32:08,319 --> 00:32:10,680
- Water!
- Water!
310
00:32:12,359 --> 00:32:16,520
- What are you doing? Where are you going?
- No, here! Here!
311
00:32:17,160 --> 00:32:19,880
- Where is it going?
- No!
312
00:32:25,839 --> 00:32:28,080
At 3 pm,...
313
00:32:28,160 --> 00:32:31,280
..Filini started hearing
sirens as if he were Ulysses.
314
00:32:31,359 --> 00:32:34,160
(far away voices) Filini!
315
00:32:34,240 --> 00:32:36,400
(far away voices)
Accountant Filini!
316
00:32:37,079 --> 00:32:46,120
(far away voices) You are so beautiful!
We want you! Follow us.
317
00:32:46,200 --> 00:32:49,200
Fantozzi, on the contrary
was holding to his own style.
318
00:32:49,279 --> 00:32:52,040
Mystic hallucinations.
319
00:33:01,160 --> 00:33:05,080
- Do you have any fish?
- We didn't fish. - Any bread?
320
00:33:05,160 --> 00:33:09,600
- No, he should have brought it. - No, him.
- What the hell should I multiply, then?
321
00:33:28,200 --> 00:33:32,320
On Christmas' eve, in the Olympus
at the 18th floor,...
322
00:33:32,400 --> 00:33:36,800
...the natural and collateral mega directors
were exchanging amazing gifts.
323
00:33:36,880 --> 00:33:40,240
Golden panettoni with sapphires and amethysts
instead of candies.
324
00:33:40,319 --> 00:33:44,280
And cheers with champagne
dated 1612.
325
00:33:44,359 --> 00:33:47,600
- Gentlemen, shall we go to a cafe?
- Yes.
326
00:33:48,720 --> 00:33:52,640
- The children are here.
- Let them in. - The first one.
327
00:33:58,039 --> 00:34:03,440
Be joyful, Jesus is born.
And many wishes to the Counselor.
328
00:34:03,519 --> 00:34:06,480
Good! Bravo!
329
00:34:08,199 --> 00:34:12,240
- This is for you, merry Christmas.
- Merry Christmas.
330
00:34:13,239 --> 00:34:19,520
- ''Flowers with colored petals.''
- ''But changing in fruits...''
331
00:34:21,039 --> 00:34:23,320
Go.
332
00:34:27,800 --> 00:34:33,400
''A big and nice cherry tree,
said to a little one:...''
333
00:34:33,480 --> 00:34:38,160
''..you are good, you have flowers,
with many colored petals.''
334
00:34:38,400 --> 00:34:41,720
''But you won't be able,
to give much fruit.''
335
00:34:41,800 --> 00:34:46,200
(Everybody laughs)
336
00:34:46,280 --> 00:34:49,280
- A specimen from the zoo.
- She's well tamed.
337
00:34:49,360 --> 00:34:53,720
We should make a selection,
I am a sensitive person.
338
00:34:53,800 --> 00:34:56,800
She's the daughter of
accountant Chimp.
339
00:34:56,880 --> 00:35:00,360
or Sir Gorilly.
340
00:35:00,519 --> 00:35:05,480
- Cheetah, do you like bananas?
- Cheetah, flip over. - No.
341
00:35:07,639 --> 00:35:09,840
- Her father is here.
- Who is he?
342
00:35:28,079 --> 00:35:33,160
Anyway, I wish you all my humblest
Christmas greetings...
343
00:35:33,239 --> 00:35:35,600
...and a respectable happy new year.
344
00:35:36,400 --> 00:35:38,360
Let's go my dear.
345
00:35:41,639 --> 00:35:43,600
Keep it tight
because it's very cold.
346
00:35:44,960 --> 00:35:47,200
Daddy, why did they call me Cheetah?
347
00:35:47,280 --> 00:35:50,040
- Who?
- Who's Cheetah?
348
00:35:51,760 --> 00:35:56,400
Cheetah Hayworth
was a very famous American actress.
349
00:35:56,480 --> 00:35:59,600
She was the most beautiful of them all.
350
00:36:00,440 --> 00:36:06,960
But, you know what?
You're even more beautiful than she was.
351
00:36:08,119 --> 00:36:10,080
Maybe.
352
00:36:12,920 --> 00:36:24,840
(MUSIC)
353
00:36:41,960 --> 00:36:46,240
- All the best!
- Happy New Year. - All the best.
354
00:36:48,480 --> 00:36:50,200
Hey!
355
00:36:50,280 --> 00:36:53,320
Let's go there! Good evening.
356
00:36:54,320 --> 00:36:58,960
- Happy New Year Miss Silvani.
- Thanks. - How are you?
357
00:36:59,039 --> 00:37:03,080
- Carboni, do you know my wife?
- Nice to meet you. - Sit here.
358
00:37:03,159 --> 00:37:06,080
I want Mariangela next to me.
359
00:37:06,159 --> 00:37:10,960
Mr Fantozzi, what are you doing?
You're at table 22, not here.
360
00:37:11,039 --> 00:37:13,680
- Carboni, please.
- See you later.
361
00:37:14,519 --> 00:37:16,480
Here I am.
362
00:37:25,360 --> 00:37:29,480
- Nice. - After...to toast together,
...later.
363
00:37:29,559 --> 00:37:32,520
- A toast.
- Shall we toast?
364
00:37:34,400 --> 00:37:37,320
It's cold, isn't it?
365
00:37:37,400 --> 00:37:40,440
- Aren't you cold?
- A little bit.
366
00:37:41,320 --> 00:37:44,920
No, Mariangela,
take it off or you'll look ugly.
367
00:37:47,360 --> 00:38:00,800
(orchestra)
368
00:38:00,880 --> 00:38:07,920
(dialogue)
369
00:38:08,639 --> 00:38:18,360
(orchestra)
370
00:38:21,880 --> 00:38:25,160
Excuse me?
Won't you change it?
371
00:38:27,199 --> 00:38:29,800
Presto! Presto! So it'll be over soon.
372
00:38:32,079 --> 00:38:34,040
Hey!
373
00:38:37,559 --> 00:38:41,840
- The tortellini! - Good.
- Tortellini and sour cream.
374
00:38:41,920 --> 00:38:44,080
- Tortellini?
- Yes.
375
00:38:50,320 --> 00:38:54,280
- Do you like it? - Yes, a lot.
- More? - No, thanks, that's enough.
376
00:39:03,039 --> 00:39:06,280
- Have a bit of salt.
- Thanks.
377
00:39:15,800 --> 00:39:20,040
- Pork leg with lentils!
- I love this dish!
378
00:39:25,159 --> 00:39:27,120
It's nothing!
379
00:39:27,719 --> 00:39:29,680
It can happen.
380
00:39:30,360 --> 00:39:32,320
It brings good luck.
381
00:39:33,159 --> 00:39:36,680
Accountant, it's money!
382
00:39:37,280 --> 00:39:40,960
Be happy, sir!
Happiness all year long!
383
00:39:48,280 --> 00:39:53,280
- Sir, fruit salad and whipped cream.
- I like this a lot.
384
00:40:00,039 --> 00:40:02,000
Enough.
385
00:40:04,719 --> 00:40:41,080
(orchestra)
386
00:40:41,159 --> 00:40:43,760
Around 10:30, after dinner,
387
00:40:43,840 --> 00:40:46,920
since the conductor had
another appointment,
388
00:40:47,000 --> 00:40:49,760
he fast-forwarded to New Year...
389
00:40:49,840 --> 00:40:53,360
Attention please!
3 minutes to the midnight!
390
00:40:53,440 --> 00:40:56,240
Be ready with the champagne!
391
00:40:56,320 --> 00:41:00,440
- Wait.
- nine, eight, seven, six,...
392
00:41:00,519 --> 00:41:05,960
..five, four, three, two, one...
393
00:41:06,039 --> 00:41:10,280
Midnight!
Happy New Year!
394
00:41:13,280 --> 00:41:15,600
Toast! Happy New Year!
395
00:41:17,280 --> 00:41:24,480
- All the best! - Who'll kiss me?
- Me! A kiss.
396
00:41:36,079 --> 00:41:40,000
Fantozzi? Where were you?
I've been looking for you all night.
397
00:41:40,079 --> 00:41:45,520
Shall we toast?
Happy New Year! All the best!
398
00:41:50,599 --> 00:41:52,560
Happy New Year!
399
00:41:53,440 --> 00:41:55,400
All the best!
400
00:41:55,960 --> 00:42:03,960
(orchestra)
401
00:42:15,559 --> 00:42:17,520
All the best!
402
00:42:18,199 --> 00:42:20,160
Happy New Year!
403
00:42:20,400 --> 00:42:39,640
(orchestra)
404
00:42:49,800 --> 00:42:53,840
Ugo?
405
00:42:54,079 --> 00:42:57,200
Are you hurt?
Don't ruin this night, please.
406
00:42:57,320 --> 00:43:01,360
- I'm not hurt.
- Nothing? - Good for you.
407
00:43:01,440 --> 00:43:05,920
- Nothing? - He's not hurt.
- Happiness!
408
00:43:06,000 --> 00:43:08,840
Music! Hurray!
409
00:43:27,000 --> 00:43:29,960
At 1:30 a.m., conductor's
bogus mean-time...
410
00:43:30,039 --> 00:43:34,800
or otherwise, at the real midnight,
the fireworks commence.
411
00:43:39,599 --> 00:43:43,440
- My watch says 1:30.
- It's midnight. They have...
412
00:43:43,519 --> 00:43:46,160
- It doesn't matter! Hurray!
- All the best!
413
00:43:46,239 --> 00:43:49,960
Let's go to my house,
I have a bottle of Brunello wine!
414
00:43:50,039 --> 00:43:53,440
- Party at Fantozzi's place!
- All the best! Ouch!
415
00:43:53,519 --> 00:43:59,880
- Happy new year! - Who'll drive with me?
- I have 7 seats free!
416
00:43:59,960 --> 00:44:04,680
- Careful below!
- Go ahead! A new year, a new life!
417
00:44:04,760 --> 00:44:08,320
- Heads up!
- Happy New Year!
418
00:44:19,280 --> 00:44:23,760
I think I'll leave it parked here.
419
00:44:25,599 --> 00:44:28,400
The wild sir Catellani...
420
00:44:28,880 --> 00:44:32,160
...had been elected Grand Maestro
of the Human Resources Department.
421
00:44:32,239 --> 00:44:36,960
At work:
No pain, no gain!
422
00:44:37,039 --> 00:44:40,080
True words from somebody
who worked his ass off.
423
00:44:40,559 --> 00:44:45,920
He placed in the hall the statue
of his mother, Teresa...
424
00:44:46,000 --> 00:44:49,280
..and forced everybody passing by
to honor her.
425
00:44:52,679 --> 00:44:54,640
(Metallic noise)
426
00:44:56,559 --> 00:44:59,160
- Do you need anything?
- No.
427
00:45:05,840 --> 00:45:08,320
- Enjoy your meal, Miss Silvani.
- Thanks.
428
00:45:08,400 --> 00:45:11,760
- I'll sit next to you.
- Sure, sit down. - Thanks.
429
00:45:14,039 --> 00:45:17,440
- Is this seat taken? - Yes.
- Then I'll sit here.
430
00:45:17,519 --> 00:45:22,560
- This one too... this too.
- Both? - Yes.
431
00:45:22,639 --> 00:45:27,160
- Wine? - Thanks, water and wine.
- But water is discouraging.
432
00:45:27,280 --> 00:45:30,000
- Come here, Fantozzi.
- Thanks.
433
00:45:30,079 --> 00:45:35,880
I say: B 1 2,
and he says: water...
434
00:45:35,960 --> 00:45:38,360
Did you eat pasta with beans?
435
00:45:38,440 --> 00:45:41,360
- No, I had the beef.
- I like it a lot.
436
00:45:42,920 --> 00:45:48,280
You know what? Catellani
likes to play billiards.
437
00:45:48,360 --> 00:45:53,360
Good morning and have a nice meal!
Do you know something?
438
00:45:53,440 --> 00:45:56,480
Catellani likes to play billiards,
439
00:45:56,559 --> 00:45:59,760
Why are you telling me?
I found it out first!
440
00:45:59,840 --> 00:46:04,440
- Somebody from finance department,
Mr Vitti. - I know him.
441
00:46:04,519 --> 00:46:09,640
- Seven games lost,
two promotions. - Two?!
442
00:46:12,079 --> 00:46:14,040
May I come in!
443
00:46:14,480 --> 00:46:16,440
Good morning.
444
00:46:17,280 --> 00:46:19,240
(Metallic noise)
445
00:46:22,559 --> 00:46:25,560
- Do you need anything?
- No, no.
446
00:46:27,239 --> 00:46:32,520
(Fantozzi complains)
447
00:46:33,440 --> 00:46:39,040
- Good morning director. - Hey!
- The red light is on. - Not for me.
448
00:46:39,119 --> 00:46:41,080
Dear Catellani!
449
00:46:44,000 --> 00:46:47,920
- Where's the sleeping pill?
I can't sleep. - It's here.
450
00:46:48,000 --> 00:46:52,000
From a lowly janitor he became a civil servant.
And Carboni? He's a billiards champion.
451
00:46:52,079 --> 00:46:57,320
Stupid idiot,
he lost 37 games in a row,...
452
00:46:57,400 --> 00:47:00,280
... and so he became
Soglio's assistant.
453
00:47:00,360 --> 00:47:04,320
He can go in Catellani's office
even when it's restricted. Damn him!
454
00:47:11,199 --> 00:47:13,400
- Ugo? - Yes?
- Listen,
455
00:47:14,519 --> 00:47:21,720
- why don't you lose
a couple of games too? - Never.
456
00:47:21,800 --> 00:47:25,400
I'd prefer to starve,
eat bread with onions.
457
00:47:25,480 --> 00:47:30,120
And I never played billiards
in my life.
458
00:47:30,199 --> 00:47:33,000
- I have my dignity.
- You're right.
459
00:47:33,400 --> 00:47:37,920
And I could never look into
your eyes...
460
00:47:40,880 --> 00:47:44,920
To the right, slow down.
Higher. Up your bum!
461
00:47:45,000 --> 00:47:49,800
Hold the cue down.
Wait, I'll show you.
462
00:47:49,920 --> 00:47:54,040
Hold the cue
in this position and...
463
00:47:54,119 --> 00:47:56,920
(Fantozzi stifled scream)
Rap! What happened?
464
00:47:58,119 --> 00:48:02,200
Don't be silly!
Hold the cue down. Over there!
465
00:48:02,280 --> 00:48:07,520
Up your bum. No, too much.
Up your head, stiff but relaxed.
466
00:48:07,599 --> 00:48:12,400
Now, a bit further, to the right.
Straighten your back!
467
00:48:12,480 --> 00:48:16,960
- You must shoot here.
- And now pull back. Come on!
468
00:48:19,199 --> 00:48:21,160
What have you done?
469
00:48:21,679 --> 00:48:26,400
- What are you hiding? - A tooth.
- A tooth? - An incisor actually.
470
00:48:26,480 --> 00:48:31,600
- Where are the pins?
- The pins are... I drank them.
471
00:48:31,679 --> 00:48:35,680
Very good, now you'll eat them.
472
00:48:35,760 --> 00:48:39,520
- It's 03:30, not my lunchtime.
- Eat the pins.
473
00:48:39,599 --> 00:48:41,040
Do you mind if I eat only the red one?
474
00:48:41,119 --> 00:48:44,280
- All of them! - I am on diet.
- All of them. - All of them.
475
00:48:47,559 --> 00:48:50,840
I just need to learn to lose,
not to win.
476
00:48:50,920 --> 00:48:54,720
I only teach to be a winner or nothing else.
Punishment.
477
00:48:56,400 --> 00:49:00,960
- Give me the back of your hands.
- But you just did it last night. - Hands!
478
00:49:04,360 --> 00:49:06,960
(Screams of pain)
479
00:49:09,079 --> 00:49:13,080
The lesson is over,
read the book. See you tomorrow night.
480
00:49:13,280 --> 00:49:17,160
- Can I come around one o'clock?
- At 02:30. - Fine.
481
00:49:18,440 --> 00:49:22,760
He met the billiards teacher
through a night security guard,
482
00:49:22,840 --> 00:49:25,280
who was an incurable night-bird.
483
00:49:25,400 --> 00:49:31,720
Rather than confess to his wife
the shameful truth,...
484
00:49:31,800 --> 00:49:37,800
..he preferred to simulate
a love affair.
485
00:49:40,360 --> 00:49:45,760
To make the thing believable,
he left clues everywhere.
486
00:49:56,880 --> 00:49:58,840
until, one night,...
487
00:50:00,159 --> 00:50:07,320
(song in Italian)# Parlami d'amore, Mari�.
Dimmi che il mio amore sei tu. #
488
00:50:07,400 --> 00:50:14,000
# Gli occhi tuoi belli brillano.
Dimmi che illusione non �... #
489
00:50:15,079 --> 00:50:19,720
- Are you cheating on me?
- Yes. That's life.
490
00:50:29,800 --> 00:50:33,160
I separated the beds...
491
00:50:34,039 --> 00:50:36,000
# Parlami d'amore... #
492
00:50:42,039 --> 00:50:47,640
- Do you need anything? - No.
This time I've been very careful.
493
00:50:50,440 --> 00:50:56,880
Bitch! Bitch! Old hag!
I'll show you!
494
00:50:57,159 --> 00:50:59,320
You'll see...
495
00:51:00,159 --> 00:51:06,120
I am cleaning well.
It was very dirty.
496
00:51:19,599 --> 00:51:23,920
When you said "bitch"
were you alluding to your wife?
497
00:51:24,000 --> 00:51:27,000
Yes, how did you know?
Everyday I...
498
00:51:27,079 --> 00:51:30,440
That's true, every day
coming in and going out...
499
00:51:30,519 --> 00:51:34,360
- he says to his wife:
old hag and... - Bitch!
500
00:51:36,079 --> 00:51:39,840
- Can you play billiards?
- Me? Sure.
501
00:51:40,800 --> 00:51:42,760
Saturday night at my place.
502
00:51:43,639 --> 00:51:48,600
- Everybody! - He's a nice director.
- Nice director.
503
00:51:48,679 --> 00:51:51,760
- Yes, a wonderful person.
- You are a saint! - An apostle.
504
00:51:51,840 --> 00:51:54,240
- Three cheers for our director.
- Hurray!
505
00:51:56,679 --> 00:52:06,840
(talking)
506
00:52:11,519 --> 00:52:13,480
Hi, Diego.
507
00:52:14,760 --> 00:52:21,120
- Let's drink a toast to the winner.
- To you!
508
00:52:21,199 --> 00:52:24,920
Stop drinking! Now we play.
Fantocci! Where is Fantocci?
509
00:52:25,400 --> 00:52:30,000
- er, Fantozzi? - Go find him!
- He's calling you. - ''Fantocci''!
510
00:52:31,480 --> 00:52:36,120
Here he is. Are you scared?
Come on! Come on!
511
00:52:37,400 --> 00:52:39,640
- Ready?
- I am. - Mummy.
512
00:52:40,199 --> 00:52:43,960
- Let's go.
- Make room.
513
00:52:59,960 --> 00:53:04,600
- Come on. You do this for me and
for Mariangela. - Don't worry.
514
00:53:05,440 --> 00:53:09,760
- Nice mum.
- Thanks. - Stop it.
515
00:53:10,880 --> 00:53:14,440
- And you? - Mr Filini Renzo,
accidents department.
516
00:53:14,519 --> 00:53:18,360
- Are you an accountant? - Yes.
- You can mark the points. Billiards!
517
00:53:18,679 --> 00:53:22,320
- Thanks, you're very kind.
- So? - I am very happy.
518
00:53:22,400 --> 00:53:25,400
- Let the best man win, me!
519
00:53:29,360 --> 00:53:33,480
- Please. - No, thanks. - Please.
- I don't like them. - Please!
520
00:53:34,000 --> 00:53:36,400
If you insist I can eat this.
521
00:53:37,320 --> 00:53:40,280
Are you eating the chalk?
522
00:53:42,639 --> 00:53:46,720
- Here it is.
- Wait a moment.
523
00:53:49,599 --> 00:53:53,120
- This too?
- What are you doing?
524
00:53:53,800 --> 00:53:58,960
-Here, the left...
- Don't be silly, give it to me.
525
00:54:00,079 --> 00:54:02,280
And play, you idiot!
526
00:54:05,920 --> 00:54:09,040
The ball is the right one.
527
00:54:13,159 --> 00:54:17,160
- Your turn.
- You didn't even touch it.
528
00:54:17,280 --> 00:54:20,520
- A little bit. - Did he touch it?
- No! - See?
529
00:54:20,599 --> 00:54:23,800
- Go on. - I think it is...
- Go on, ''asshole''!
530
00:54:27,559 --> 00:54:31,800
- One point for me!
- Yes, one point for the director!
531
00:54:32,559 --> 00:54:36,840
- Very good, director!
- Now, I'll teach you a lesson.
532
00:54:37,079 --> 00:54:39,440
Be careful, it's a masterstroke.
533
00:54:41,320 --> 00:54:47,040
- Go! - Very good, director!
- Good- Thanks!
534
00:54:48,400 --> 00:54:51,520
Eight points, mark it.
Come on.
535
00:54:51,679 --> 00:54:56,880
Hurry up! ''Asshole''!
Don't get distracted.
536
00:54:56,960 --> 00:54:59,840
It will all be over soon.
537
00:54:59,920 --> 00:55:04,160
- Pull. - That's very easy.
538
00:55:04,239 --> 00:55:09,360
You touch mine and make a point...
He messed up, stupid!
539
00:55:09,800 --> 00:55:12,360
- Shall I eat them?
- Do you want to eat them?
540
00:55:12,440 --> 00:55:17,040
Are you a cannibal?
Come on. Buffoon.
541
00:55:20,039 --> 00:55:22,560
Bravo! Bravo!
542
00:55:24,480 --> 00:55:29,640
Many thanks to the ''asshole''.
Accountant, point.
543
00:55:29,800 --> 00:55:31,760
Let's see.
544
00:55:34,159 --> 00:55:37,080
Bravo! Good job! Great!
545
00:55:37,639 --> 00:55:39,600
Please
546
00:55:42,280 --> 00:55:46,400
- Another missing!
- 24 for the director.
547
00:55:46,480 --> 00:55:49,960
- Eight to the company!
- Nice work!
548
00:55:50,039 --> 00:55:52,760
Eight points against the
asshole.
549
00:55:56,280 --> 00:55:58,840
That's just luck, asshole.
550
00:56:07,079 --> 00:56:10,800
Eight!
This is skill, asshole.
551
00:56:17,440 --> 00:56:21,600
Yours is luck, mine is skill,
my dear asshole.
552
00:56:22,119 --> 00:56:25,160
After 380 "assholes"
and 49 points against 2 ,...
553
00:56:25,360 --> 00:56:29,320
...Fantozzi met again
his wife's eyes.
554
00:56:32,280 --> 00:56:34,240
Can you excuse me one moment?
555
00:56:37,079 --> 00:56:39,040
I would like,...
556
00:56:40,159 --> 00:56:43,040
I'd like to play, now.
557
00:56:57,840 --> 00:57:01,320
- Mark! 11 points, not 3!
- I'm sorry.
558
00:57:02,119 --> 00:57:05,320
- ''Asshole''!
- There it is!
559
00:57:11,880 --> 00:57:17,840
12 Points. And now
for the central pin effect.
560
00:57:20,400 --> 00:57:22,600
5, pull it up!
561
00:57:23,840 --> 00:57:25,800
Mark!
562
00:57:27,480 --> 00:57:30,840
5 corners kick and 11 points.
563
00:57:32,920 --> 00:57:34,880
Match!
564
00:57:35,960 --> 00:57:39,840
Royal triplet back with ball.
565
00:57:40,880 --> 00:57:42,840
(Silence)
566
00:57:46,119 --> 00:57:51,920
Accountant Fantozzi: 51.
Director Earl Catellani: 49.
567
00:58:00,360 --> 00:58:02,320
I'll take the old lady!
568
00:58:03,480 --> 00:58:06,960
What are you doing, young man?
Put me down.
569
00:58:07,519 --> 00:58:10,040
Excuse me, madam
570
00:58:14,880 --> 00:58:17,640
Hallo? Earl Catellani?
571
00:58:17,719 --> 00:58:20,680
These are the conditions
to release your mother.
572
00:58:21,519 --> 00:58:25,040
First: a monthly allowance with a 13th month
for my wife and my daughter.
573
00:58:25,119 --> 00:58:28,640
Second:
a plane to Libya.
574
00:58:28,719 --> 00:58:33,600
The plane is the most important thing.
because your mother...
575
00:58:33,679 --> 00:58:38,960
- He's my man! - Leave me alone.
- I love you! Forgive me, Diego.
576
00:58:40,440 --> 00:58:44,920
- Your mum is asking that.
- Wait a moment. - What are you doing?
577
00:58:45,000 --> 00:58:51,280
- Are you leaving me?
Don't go away, Ugo!
578
00:58:51,360 --> 00:58:54,680
- Wait for me here.
- Open up, Ugo. I love you!
579
00:58:54,760 --> 00:58:58,720
Open! I want you! I love you!
580
00:59:00,800 --> 00:59:02,760
Don't run away!
581
00:59:04,079 --> 00:59:08,280
Three months later, facing
the image of his tragic physical decline,...
582
00:59:08,360 --> 00:59:10,720
Fantozzi decided to go on a diet.
583
00:59:10,800 --> 00:59:14,320
After years of deskbound life,
his new word was...
584
00:59:14,400 --> 00:59:19,560
Sports! I should take up some sport.
Look, I don't fit in anymore.
585
00:59:19,639 --> 00:59:24,880
- Ok, but be careful. Mind your age.
- No dangers, no age!
586
00:59:26,440 --> 00:59:30,520
- Pina. My back.
- My god, Ughino.
587
00:59:31,039 --> 00:59:35,640
- I just told you.
- I'm stuck. - Where's the pain?
588
00:59:35,719 --> 00:59:41,960
- My back.
- Ugo, you can't do sports anymore.
589
00:59:42,039 --> 00:59:44,720
I like you the way you are.
590
00:59:44,800 --> 00:59:48,840
Filini booked the tennis field
on the coldest Sunday of that year.
591
00:59:48,920 --> 00:59:51,680
From 6 to 7 in the morning.
592
00:59:51,760 --> 00:59:54,120
All the other time slots...
593
00:59:54,199 --> 00:59:57,880
...had been booked by players
of higher ranking.
594
00:59:57,960 --> 01:00:02,760
Miraculous director, heirs,
cardinals, and sons.
595
01:00:02,840 --> 01:00:06,080
(Filini)
This way!
596
01:00:06,280 --> 01:00:09,440
(Filini)
This way! Come!
597
01:00:10,239 --> 01:00:14,240
What are you doing?
You almost crashed.
598
01:00:15,039 --> 01:00:21,240
In the changing rooms there were
three players from the night before.
599
01:00:21,320 --> 01:00:23,800
- Good morning.
- Good morning.
600
01:00:25,400 --> 01:00:27,360
Go on.
601
01:00:33,559 --> 01:00:36,520
- Cold, aren't you?
- No.
602
01:00:39,440 --> 01:00:43,840
Filini's outfit: his rich auntie's
white skirt.
603
01:00:43,920 --> 01:00:47,680
White t-shirt, fat leather
walking shoes,...
604
01:00:47,760 --> 01:00:53,240
...scottish socks and garters,
double racket.
605
01:00:54,000 --> 01:00:58,600
Fantozz�: t-shirt, armpits-length
pants open on the front,..
606
01:00:58,679 --> 01:01:01,840
...and poorly closed
with a safety pin.
607
01:01:01,920 --> 01:01:05,960
Racket from 1912,
elegant green hat with pocket:...
608
01:01:06,039 --> 01:01:08,320
..writing~ Town Hall Casino
of Sa�nt V�ncent~.
609
01:01:08,400 --> 01:01:13,320
- Which side do you prefer to play?
- It's up to you.
610
01:01:13,400 --> 01:01:17,760
- Well, I chose this side.
- Fine. - That way faces the sun.
611
01:01:30,400 --> 01:01:33,480
Well? Are you starting?
612
01:01:33,559 --> 01:01:37,680
- Are you being informal to me?
- No, I mean: Mr Filini would you start?
613
01:01:37,760 --> 01:01:40,040
- Ah, informal!
- Yes! - Wait.
614
01:01:43,159 --> 01:01:45,360
(scream of pain)
615
01:01:46,000 --> 01:01:48,640
- Well?
- (Fantozzi) One moment!
616
01:01:49,800 --> 01:01:53,640
- (Fantozzi) Ready?
- Ready!
617
01:01:53,719 --> 01:01:55,680
noise of smashed glass
618
01:01:55,760 --> 01:02:02,000
- 15-0.
- What? I'm here.
619
01:02:02,079 --> 01:02:06,440
- I thought you were..
- Hey!
620
01:02:06,519 --> 01:02:08,480
- Ready?
- Ready!
621
01:02:13,039 --> 01:02:14,760
Go!
622
01:02:14,840 --> 01:02:18,000
A good service:
bend your knees,...
623
01:02:18,079 --> 01:02:21,720
...left foot ahead,
hammer position...
624
01:02:21,800 --> 01:02:25,240
..waist rotation and
violently...
625
01:02:27,039 --> 01:02:29,000
(birds tweet)
626
01:02:37,079 --> 01:02:43,000
What are you doing?,
Retiring? Good!
627
01:02:43,920 --> 01:02:45,880
(Blast)
628
01:02:48,519 --> 01:02:51,160
Let's clean the lines too.
629
01:02:59,440 --> 01:03:03,640
Fantozzi abandoned the idea of sport,
but not the diet.
630
01:03:05,719 --> 01:03:09,120
He sacrificed part
of his summer vacation...
631
01:03:09,199 --> 01:03:13,280
... to find health in the
~Magnolie~.
632
01:03:13,360 --> 01:03:15,960
You are here to pay, aren't you?
633
01:03:16,039 --> 01:03:19,440
No, I am here about the diet.
634
01:03:19,519 --> 01:03:25,240
Perfect! I'll tell you about
the paying terms. All at once!
635
01:03:25,320 --> 01:03:30,280
It's a psychological motivation
so that the patient is involved in the cure.
636
01:03:30,360 --> 01:03:35,480
- I don't have much cash.
- There is some money here.
637
01:03:35,559 --> 01:03:41,800
50,000 liras and 10,000 tip to the lady
and 40,000 for me.
638
01:03:41,880 --> 01:03:46,520
For the rest you can sign a check,
and the saints are for you.
639
01:03:47,039 --> 01:03:49,000
Thanks a lot.
640
01:04:12,960 --> 01:04:15,040
Excuse me?
641
01:04:15,119 --> 01:04:19,520
I didn't have breakfast yet,
what about board?
642
01:04:19,599 --> 01:04:24,240
Nothing! You fast the first 10 days.
No food, no drink.
643
01:04:26,159 --> 01:04:30,120
What's the toilet for, then?
644
01:04:38,840 --> 01:04:44,960
Smells like mushroom risotto!
645
01:04:54,079 --> 01:04:58,280
It really is mushroom risotto!
Where is it?
646
01:04:58,360 --> 01:05:01,120
It's not here. Only the smell.
647
01:05:01,199 --> 01:05:06,080
They send it through the air pipe
under the bed.
648
01:05:06,159 --> 01:05:10,440
Tonight I had pot roast
and onions.
649
01:05:10,519 --> 01:05:14,800
Plug the pipe with your coat
if you don't want to go crazy.
650
01:05:19,639 --> 01:05:21,760
No! I must resist!
651
01:05:27,559 --> 01:05:32,000
...were derived from night deals.
652
01:05:32,199 --> 01:05:40,040
(confused voices)
653
01:05:40,960 --> 01:05:45,840
"Tagliatelle alla boscaiola.
Paglia e fieno ai 4 formaggi."
654
01:05:45,920 --> 01:05:48,840
"Rigaroni alla bella Bologna".
655
01:05:48,920 --> 01:05:51,360
Cash, please.
656
01:05:51,800 --> 01:05:56,800
- Do you want something?
- How much for a portion?
657
01:05:56,880 --> 01:06:00,160
- 28,000 liras.
- "Paglia e fieno?"
658
01:06:02,039 --> 01:06:06,240
- These are my last 30,000 liras,
no change. - Bucatini?
659
01:06:06,320 --> 01:06:08,880
Here are the bucatini.
660
01:06:09,440 --> 01:06:15,520
- I'm starving, I'm starving!
- Quickly, please!
661
01:06:15,840 --> 01:06:19,400
- For you?
- Lasagnette.
662
01:06:19,480 --> 01:06:25,720
- How much do you have?
- I have 10,000 lire. You need more.
663
01:06:28,119 --> 01:06:30,080
Damn you.
664
01:06:33,559 --> 01:06:39,280
- Here it is!
- NO!
665
01:06:39,360 --> 01:06:44,560
28,000 liras! Thieves!
You will never get me! Never!
666
01:06:45,920 --> 01:06:50,880
But after 2 days and 2 nights
of heroic resistance, they finally got him.
667
01:06:51,840 --> 01:06:56,800
"Ravioli di spinaci
with double butter."
668
01:06:56,880 --> 01:07:00,160
- What's on tonight?
- Pappardelle with hare's sauce.
669
01:07:00,239 --> 01:07:04,200
- Two portions.
- Ok. 56,000 liras.
670
01:07:04,280 --> 01:07:09,200
- I don't have cash anymore...
- We have checks you can sign.
671
01:07:14,280 --> 01:07:16,240
Here it is!
672
01:07:34,039 --> 01:07:38,840
In the following nights
he went 280,000 liras into debt.
673
01:07:38,920 --> 01:07:41,360
Then, he lost count.
674
01:07:41,440 --> 01:07:51,160
(German speaking)
675
01:08:09,679 --> 01:08:15,280
Got! He was eating!
Take him away!
676
01:08:15,360 --> 01:08:17,320
To the check point!
677
01:08:17,399 --> 01:08:21,840
Weight check for patient nr 28.
678
01:08:22,880 --> 01:08:27,240
That night Fantozzi signed
two giant checks.
679
01:08:27,319 --> 01:08:33,240
He bought the most expensive specialty:
"Spaghett� alla Montecristo".
680
01:08:51,800 --> 01:09:08,120
(sirene)
681
01:09:10,600 --> 01:09:13,240
(German orders)
682
01:09:13,880 --> 01:09:18,920
- I can't talk.
- A man of class never talks.
683
01:09:20,920 --> 01:09:24,640
My ''compact'' model,
no diets or sacrifice...
684
01:09:24,720 --> 01:09:27,440
...you have 20 kilos and 20 years less.
685
01:09:36,000 --> 01:09:40,120
Miss Silvani?
You have an old debt to me.
686
01:09:40,199 --> 01:09:43,720
Do you know that they opened
up a new Japanese restaurant?
687
01:09:44,840 --> 01:09:48,680
Ok, Fantozzi, it's a pleasure to accept.
688
01:09:48,760 --> 01:09:52,000
You are thinner, what did you do?
You look like another person.
689
01:09:52,079 --> 01:09:54,920
- Can you turn me, please?
- Yes.
690
01:09:55,640 --> 01:10:00,920
- I go to dinner with the managers.
- You look like a manager too.
691
01:10:02,560 --> 01:10:04,520
Kiss.
692
01:10:05,920 --> 01:10:11,880
- I can't do that.
- It doesn't matter. Bye. See you soon.
693
01:10:11,960 --> 01:10:13,920
Bye.
694
01:10:43,239 --> 01:10:46,320
(scream of pain)
695
01:11:08,439 --> 01:11:13,160
- Sayonara. - Sayonara. You are so beautiful,
you look very nice dressed like that.
696
01:11:13,239 --> 01:11:17,760
- You're very elegant too.
This is. - My pleasure.
697
01:11:18,439 --> 01:11:21,960
- My beloved puppy.
I can't live without him. - I see.
698
01:11:22,039 --> 01:11:26,880
- He can't eat without me.
- My pleasure.
699
01:11:26,960 --> 01:11:31,440
- He's a peke,...
- Let's go.
700
01:11:31,520 --> 01:11:33,480
I booked 3 months ago.
701
01:11:38,880 --> 01:11:40,840
- Nice.
- Wait.
702
01:11:43,920 --> 01:11:49,840
See puppy, all these people
eating their foody-woody?
703
01:11:58,439 --> 01:12:01,880
- Are you going to feed him?
- Yes, sure.
704
01:12:02,319 --> 01:12:05,560
The rules of Japanese restaurants are terrible.
705
01:12:05,640 --> 01:12:09,120
The staff speaks only Japanese.
706
01:12:09,199 --> 01:12:16,760
Hello. This dog needs food.
He's hungry! ''Yummy''! Hungry.
707
01:12:16,840 --> 01:12:20,520
Kitchen, eat. You, cook.
708
01:12:20,760 --> 01:12:24,840
You understand?
(Japanese speaking)
709
01:12:24,920 --> 01:12:27,080
(The dog gnarls)
710
01:12:27,159 --> 01:12:34,120
- Miss Silvani? - Yes?
- Your dog will be fine - Thanks.
711
01:12:34,199 --> 01:12:39,040
He's eating in the kitchen.
You must bow, it's the rule.
712
01:12:39,119 --> 01:12:42,440
- You bow, please.
- I'll go.
713
01:12:43,079 --> 01:12:47,640
(bump)
I'm sorry, it was my turn!
714
01:12:47,720 --> 01:12:49,960
(Japanese speaking)
715
01:12:50,039 --> 01:12:53,720
-Do you like here?
It's nice, isn't it?
716
01:12:53,800 --> 01:12:59,120
- Kneeling down is a bit uncomfortable.
- I feel very good.
717
01:12:59,199 --> 01:13:01,640
- Miss Silvani. - Yes?
- I would like...
718
01:13:01,880 --> 01:13:05,720
- I would like to tell you the most important
thing of my life. - Tell me.
719
01:13:05,800 --> 01:13:08,960
- Did you see the goldfish?
- Yes, why - They are mullets.
720
01:13:09,039 --> 01:13:11,920
(SCREAM)
What's happening?
721
01:13:12,000 --> 01:13:15,360
Ever since the Human Resource
Department, seven years ago...
722
01:13:15,439 --> 01:13:17,400
Sake.
723
01:13:18,159 --> 01:13:23,120
- What's that? - The famous Japanese wine rice
- Good.
724
01:13:24,319 --> 01:13:26,920
- Thanks.
- Thanks.
725
01:13:28,640 --> 01:13:33,280
- What's this? Melted lead?
- No, you must drink it very warm.
726
01:13:33,560 --> 01:13:38,760
- Drink it. - The secret
is to drink it all at once.
727
01:13:38,840 --> 01:13:41,480
It doesn't matter! It does...
728
01:13:45,800 --> 01:13:48,920
- Air!
- Have you got a light?
729
01:13:49,000 --> 01:13:51,240
Wait...
730
01:13:55,399 --> 01:13:58,640
See...it's cold water.
731
01:13:59,479 --> 01:14:03,320
Miss Silvani, for 7 years
I've been trying to tell you...
732
01:14:03,399 --> 01:14:05,360
Oh, well!
733
01:14:05,920 --> 01:14:07,880
(Japanese speaking)
734
01:14:12,079 --> 01:14:15,680
What? Yes!
735
01:14:16,279 --> 01:14:20,960
- What did she say? -
She said that... I mean...
736
01:14:21,039 --> 01:14:24,400
- ...enjoy your meal. - You are so wise!
- Yes, but...
737
01:14:24,479 --> 01:14:27,360
(SCREAM)
Why'd they do that?
738
01:14:28,399 --> 01:14:32,280
- Why did they throw dishes?
- Here?
739
01:14:32,359 --> 01:14:36,320
It's a typical Japanese custom.
740
01:14:36,399 --> 01:14:40,000
The Russians throw glasses,
here they throw dishes.
741
01:14:40,079 --> 01:14:43,080
Please, do that too, please.
742
01:14:43,159 --> 01:14:46,560
I'm afraid I can't scream so well.
743
01:14:46,640 --> 01:14:50,120
Just one time, for me.
744
01:14:50,199 --> 01:14:53,000
- I can do that.
- Good.
745
01:14:53,920 --> 01:14:58,880
(screams)
Bravo, that was a good scream.
746
01:14:58,960 --> 01:15:03,760
- What are you doing? - I am checking
the water temperature.
747
01:15:03,840 --> 01:15:09,200
Anyway, I've been trying to tell you...
748
01:15:09,279 --> 01:15:13,240
(JAPANESE SPEAKING)
749
01:15:18,319 --> 01:15:20,880
(JAPANESE SPEAKING)
Alive?
750
01:15:20,960 --> 01:15:24,720
- What?
- He'll cook them "alla livornese".
751
01:15:24,800 --> 01:15:27,400
- With some garlic.
- Yes, yes.
752
01:15:27,479 --> 01:15:32,920
(screams)
753
01:15:33,880 --> 01:15:36,160
He chopped them.
754
01:15:40,600 --> 01:15:45,000
- Thanks. - What, raw?
- No, it's grilled.
755
01:15:45,359 --> 01:15:47,840
Raw, it's raw!
756
01:15:49,520 --> 01:15:55,120
Please, do eat.
Don't complain, smile.
757
01:15:55,960 --> 01:15:59,120
Not with your hands!
With the chopsticks!
758
01:16:00,800 --> 01:16:03,200
Got it? Use the chopsticks.
759
01:16:08,199 --> 01:16:11,400
(Cry of disgust)
760
01:16:11,479 --> 01:16:14,080
I am sorry.
761
01:16:28,079 --> 01:16:30,040
(Scream)
762
01:16:35,199 --> 01:16:37,800
(Fantozzi cries)
763
01:16:42,399 --> 01:16:44,360
Good!
764
01:16:49,039 --> 01:16:53,120
Mr Fantozzi, you cheated me,
you're fatter than before.
765
01:16:53,439 --> 01:16:56,800
Not really, it's because
of the Japanese food...
766
01:16:56,880 --> 01:16:59,320
Do you know Buddha?
767
01:16:59,920 --> 01:17:01,880
(Japanese scream)
768
01:17:04,199 --> 01:17:06,160
"Ghiri ghi."
769
01:17:06,600 --> 01:17:10,080
Fine, you eat this crap,
but be quick,...
770
01:17:10,159 --> 01:17:13,160
'cause I'm fed up of you
and this place!
771
01:17:14,680 --> 01:17:16,800
(in English) What is this?
772
01:17:17,760 --> 01:17:24,800
- Finally some beef.
773
01:17:25,680 --> 01:17:28,880
(SILVANI screams and cries)
774
01:17:29,439 --> 01:17:36,480
- Pier Ugo! - What...
- You murdered a Pekinese!
775
01:17:36,560 --> 01:17:40,600
It was a mistake!
I am not a murderer!
776
01:17:40,680 --> 01:17:45,640
It's not my fault, I swear.
I didn't mean it.
777
01:17:46,000 --> 01:17:50,240
Please, believe me.
It's a misunderstanding.
778
01:17:50,359 --> 01:17:55,040
I will make ''hara-kiri'' with the
chopsticks, you help me.
779
01:17:55,520 --> 01:17:58,880
- It's under the table.
- I am sorry.
780
01:17:59,279 --> 01:18:03,960
I'll kill myself in the pool
of the raw muttels!
781
01:18:11,359 --> 01:18:17,600
My trusted disciples!
High priest, give me bread!
782
01:18:17,760 --> 01:18:23,120
No bread here, only rice.
Bread is forbidden.
783
01:18:23,439 --> 01:18:27,440
Then, I'll make an exception...
784
01:18:27,520 --> 01:18:31,640
..I'll multiply...
785
01:18:32,239 --> 01:18:34,200
..the...
786
01:18:34,479 --> 01:18:39,640
Fish and rice....
787
01:18:44,039 --> 01:18:47,480
The forgiveness of Miss Silvani
cost Fantozzi a very high price.
788
01:18:47,560 --> 01:18:53,160
A litter of Pekinese,
directly coming from Hong Kong....
789
01:18:54,119 --> 01:18:56,080
I'm so excited.
790
01:18:56,560 --> 01:19:00,960
Fresh air. Is it too windy for you,
Fantozzi?
791
01:19:01,560 --> 01:19:06,160
- No, thanks. - You'll regret
having brought a third person.
792
01:19:06,239 --> 01:19:11,800
That's fine for me,
I could have never come alone with you.
793
01:19:11,880 --> 01:19:16,320
- Is the hotel warm?
- Which hotel?! I know everybody here.
794
01:19:16,399 --> 01:19:19,240
They'll want to invite us.
795
01:19:19,319 --> 01:19:22,320
Carboni told so much bullshit...
796
01:19:22,399 --> 01:19:25,720
...that at 1,600 meters Fantozzi
got competitive hallucinations.
797
01:19:25,800 --> 01:19:28,840
- I've been a skiing champion.
- What?
798
01:19:28,920 --> 01:19:31,920
I was on the championship skiing team.
799
01:19:32,079 --> 01:19:35,040
- How nice.
- Yes.
800
01:19:35,119 --> 01:19:41,520
- You'll show us.
- I haven't skied for 10 years. - What?
801
01:19:41,680 --> 01:19:46,440
- I haven't skied for 20 years.
- Speak louder!
802
01:19:46,520 --> 01:19:52,320
I haven't skied for 30 or 35 years!
803
01:20:00,039 --> 01:20:04,960
Hi, Claudio!
Miss Countess, how are you?
804
01:20:06,560 --> 01:20:12,720
Hi, see you soon!
Cheers! Cheers!
805
01:20:15,600 --> 01:20:21,120
- Carboni knows everybody.
- I am not like him.
806
01:20:25,399 --> 01:20:27,360
Here we are.
807
01:20:28,800 --> 01:20:32,120
- Shall we stop here?
- Sure, we'll have a drink.
808
01:20:32,880 --> 01:20:36,080
Everybody is here.
809
01:20:37,119 --> 01:20:41,160
- Andrea, the usual.
- Which usual?
810
01:20:42,079 --> 01:20:46,840
The usual. You are here too.
When did you arrive?
811
01:20:47,079 --> 01:20:51,040
Welcome, how are you?
Hi, Diana. Hi, dear.
812
01:20:51,199 --> 01:20:55,120
- What people. - Shall we sit there?
- Who's he?
813
01:20:56,279 --> 01:21:00,040
- Look at that.
- Where did they find him?
814
01:21:00,640 --> 01:21:05,640
- Where is he coming from?
- Maybe he fell from the snow.
815
01:21:06,199 --> 01:21:10,320
- What's that peak over there?
- Which one? - That one.
816
01:21:10,399 --> 01:21:14,400
- It's the wisdom tooth.
- I didn't recognize it.
817
01:21:14,479 --> 01:21:18,920
I'll wait for you tonight to eat polenta.
818
01:21:19,239 --> 01:21:25,080
- What have you done? Did you hibernate?
- Yes, but I can already move one arm.
819
01:21:25,159 --> 01:21:28,600
- Did we meet before?
- No, but I know you.
820
01:21:28,880 --> 01:21:33,160
- Countess Serbelloni Mazzanti Vien
Dal Mare. - Then we know each other!
821
01:21:33,399 --> 01:21:36,680
She was the daughter of one of the
company's major shareholders.
822
01:21:36,760 --> 01:21:40,240
And he had had the honor
escort her to the train station ...
823
01:21:40,319 --> 01:21:43,320
... like in a spy story.
824
01:21:43,399 --> 01:21:49,600
Run, I am here! Run!
Quick!
825
01:21:51,840 --> 01:21:56,720
- Tell me who's the murderer, at least!
- Ok, wait.
826
01:21:58,680 --> 01:22:06,280
- It's Vilan Chesserton Junior.
- What? - Vilan Chesserton Junior!
827
01:22:07,159 --> 01:22:11,240
- Who are you?
- Fantozzi, the guy from the spy story.
828
01:22:11,359 --> 01:22:17,000
- Sure! Fantozzi, how are you dear?
- I...
829
01:22:17,079 --> 01:22:21,000
Carboni, may I introduce you to
Countessa Serbelloni Mazzanti?
830
01:22:21,079 --> 01:22:24,880
Countessa, my pleasure.
We met before, didn't we?
831
01:22:24,960 --> 01:22:27,520
- Mauritius, Seychelles.
- Maybe.
832
01:22:27,600 --> 01:22:30,040
This is accountant Fantozzi.
833
01:22:32,239 --> 01:22:35,600
Tonight I'm cooking polenta,
I'll be waiting for you.
834
01:22:35,680 --> 01:22:40,040
- Sure, we'll be on time.
- Good.
835
01:22:40,119 --> 01:22:43,280
- Fantozzi, you can come too.
- Thanks.
836
01:22:43,960 --> 01:22:48,440
- Maybe later. - Alfonsina,
you are wonderful. - Hi, Gigio.
837
01:22:48,520 --> 01:22:50,280
Elena, how are you?
838
01:22:50,359 --> 01:22:53,840
- Hello! - Miss countess.
- How are you? - Fine, thanks.
839
01:22:55,199 --> 01:22:59,480
- This is my friend, countess Serbelloni.
- Miss Silvani.
840
01:22:59,560 --> 01:23:02,480
- He's Fantozzi, you already know him.
- My pleasure.
841
01:23:02,560 --> 01:23:05,120
After that awful diamond punch...
842
01:23:05,199 --> 01:23:09,880
..the countess introduced him
to a couple of friends.
843
01:23:09,960 --> 01:23:14,040
Miss Bolla, Mrs and Mrs Bertani,
Countess Ruffino,...
844
01:23:14,119 --> 01:23:18,480
..Miss Coronari, Baron Ricasoli,
Marquis Ant�nori...
845
01:23:18,560 --> 01:23:21,040
..and the Morett�'s, the ones of the beer.
846
01:23:21,119 --> 01:23:25,320
Halfway through the round of introductions,
Fantozz� was already drunk.
847
01:23:25,399 --> 01:23:28,360
- Engineer Riccadonna.
- Hello! - Fantozzi.
848
01:23:29,199 --> 01:23:33,920
- Martini and Rossi.
- Fantozzi!
849
01:23:34,199 --> 01:23:40,800
- Mr Campari and his girlfriend.
- Fantozzi. - Hi. - Zampozzi.
850
01:23:42,640 --> 01:23:45,320
And the daughter of Sambuca Molinari.
851
01:23:45,399 --> 01:23:50,040
- Something to drink?
- No, thanks, no more.
852
01:23:50,159 --> 01:23:52,520
- Maybe a small beer.
- A small one.
853
01:23:53,039 --> 01:23:56,360
- I'm coming! - Your beer.
- A small beer.
854
01:24:33,079 --> 01:24:35,760
Excuse me, I'll go out for a moment.
855
01:24:52,239 --> 01:24:54,200
(huge burp)
856
01:24:55,399 --> 01:25:07,080
(roar)
857
01:25:21,920 --> 01:25:23,880
(scream and thud)
858
01:25:26,600 --> 01:25:30,520
Guys, the polenta is ready!
Ready!
859
01:25:30,640 --> 01:25:34,520
- Ready for the polenta!
- Fantozzi? - Fantozzi?
860
01:25:34,600 --> 01:25:38,920
- Do you want a fork? - No, I'm on a diet.
- She eats only if I feed her.
861
01:25:39,000 --> 01:25:41,560
But the polenta is compulsory.
862
01:25:41,960 --> 01:25:44,440
(Countessa)
There are the sausages too!
863
01:25:48,199 --> 01:25:52,320
- What is it?
- Fantozzi. - Unbelievable
864
01:25:53,119 --> 01:25:59,920
- Look at that!
- I just wanted to make a joke!
865
01:26:04,159 --> 01:26:08,120
- He's so funny.
- He's also a skiing champion!
866
01:26:08,279 --> 01:26:11,600
- Really? - He was on the team!
- Really? - On the team!
867
01:26:12,680 --> 01:26:17,040
Good, tomorrow everybody goes
on "the big one" with the champion!
868
01:26:17,119 --> 01:26:20,040
No, I've already eaten, thanks.
869
01:26:20,239 --> 01:26:24,520
They rent flophouses
in the cellars of the Post Office.
870
01:26:24,800 --> 01:26:28,160
Miss Silvani slept
in the kitchen-toilet.
871
01:26:28,239 --> 01:26:32,160
Fantozzi shared a dramatic
wedding bed with Carbon�.
872
01:26:33,479 --> 01:26:35,440
(Thud)
873
01:26:37,119 --> 01:26:40,080
Gangway! Gangway!
874
01:26:49,039 --> 01:26:52,320
Here's our champion!
875
01:26:53,239 --> 01:26:55,400
Hey!
876
01:26:55,880 --> 01:26:59,600
- How did you dress?
- (Countess) He's beautiful!
877
01:27:00,279 --> 01:27:04,520
- Champion, shall we start the match?
- The snow is wonderful.
878
01:27:05,239 --> 01:27:08,680
- The slope is frozen.
Hang in here! - I'd rather walk.
879
01:27:08,760 --> 01:27:11,200
Are you crazy? It's 6km away.
880
01:27:16,520 --> 01:27:19,920
See you over there!
881
01:27:44,720 --> 01:27:48,120
- Shall we do the straight one?
- Yes, but that wall is scary.
882
01:27:48,439 --> 01:27:53,320
- Champion, how far can we go ahead?
- Let them go ahead.
883
01:27:53,399 --> 01:27:58,560
- Just count till.
- Ok. - Go!
884
01:28:00,239 --> 01:28:03,200
One, two, three, four, five...
885
01:28:06,840 --> 01:28:11,000
- Fantozzi, come on!
- Fantozzi, you can go down now!
886
01:28:11,560 --> 01:28:15,040
I'm coming, just finished counting!
887
01:28:15,479 --> 01:28:18,440
(Fantozzi) ..97, 98, 99, 100...
888
01:28:21,319 --> 01:28:26,760
(Fantozzi) ..103,104,105,106,107,108,109,... 1 10!
Ah!
889
01:28:31,720 --> 01:28:33,680
Go, you!
890
01:28:55,720 --> 01:28:57,680
(Fantozzi) Help!
891
01:28:58,520 --> 01:29:00,480
(Fantozzi) Gangway!
892
01:29:02,039 --> 01:29:04,200
- Come on!
- Accountant!
893
01:29:18,880 --> 01:29:20,840
(Fantozzi) Careful!
894
01:29:21,720 --> 01:29:23,680
(Fantozzi) Careful!
895
01:29:24,039 --> 01:29:26,000
(Fantozzi) Out of the way!
896
01:29:33,239 --> 01:29:35,520
Careful! I am sorry!
897
01:29:48,239 --> 01:29:52,480
- There!
- Help! - Careful!
898
01:29:53,119 --> 01:29:56,000
- Hands down!
- Let's roll in the mud!
899
01:30:06,760 --> 01:30:10,560
The other ones arrived
almost together.
900
01:30:10,640 --> 01:30:14,520
No sign of Fantozzi.
901
01:30:14,600 --> 01:30:19,200
After 1 hour and 30 minutes
a ski with a ski boot arrived.
902
01:30:20,800 --> 01:30:26,560
After 1 hour and 70 minutes, a pole
and a barrel of whisky.
903
01:30:31,399 --> 01:30:37,240
Then, a lock of hair, two molars,
and the forefinger of his hand.
904
01:30:37,319 --> 01:30:41,000
And finally, in an awful silence
of the deep night,...
905
01:30:41,079 --> 01:30:43,760
..Fantozz� gliding like a lion's skin.
906
01:30:43,840 --> 01:30:48,320
He imagined himself captain Nobileone
in the hell of the North Pole.
907
01:30:48,399 --> 01:30:54,920
Titina? Has anybody seen my dog Titina?
908
01:30:55,000 --> 01:30:58,920
You, ''marquise'' Zappi,
did you see my dog?
909
01:30:59,000 --> 01:31:04,240
- She's in the red tent.
- Don't act like this, Fantozzi.
910
01:31:04,319 --> 01:31:10,360
- Have a drink. - Thanks Titina.
I am out of shape.
911
01:31:14,560 --> 01:31:19,680
When he awoke,
he was in the kitchen toilet.
912
01:31:22,520 --> 01:31:24,480
(Silvani) Slowly.
913
01:31:26,000 --> 01:31:29,360
(Silvani) Hey, you're making me fall.
914
01:31:35,640 --> 01:31:39,360
- (Silvani) Darling.
- (Carboni) My love.
915
01:31:47,560 --> 01:31:52,200
Fantozz�, reacting to that
declaration of love,...
916
01:31:52,279 --> 01:31:56,640
...asked and obtained a transfer
to another office.
917
01:31:59,680 --> 01:32:02,520
- Y 7.
- Water.
918
01:32:06,600 --> 01:32:09,960
Accountant! Fantozzi?
919
01:32:17,960 --> 01:32:21,440
Fate decided that he had to stay
in the room of a certain Folagra.
920
01:32:21,520 --> 01:32:25,120
The black sheep, or rather,
the red sheep of the company.
921
01:32:25,359 --> 01:32:28,840
He was an extreme left wing
intellectual.
922
01:32:28,920 --> 01:32:33,280
Who everybody, including Fantozzi,
had always avoided...
923
01:32:33,359 --> 01:32:37,840
...for fear of being compromised
in the managers' unforgiving eyes.
924
01:32:59,479 --> 01:33:03,840
But because of his contact with Folagra...
925
01:33:03,920 --> 01:33:08,080
...Fantozzi found a new reason to live:
politics.
926
01:33:09,119 --> 01:33:12,080
..and counter-revolution,
I don't know if you understand.
927
01:33:13,199 --> 01:33:19,040
And with the formation of natural groups,
I don't know if you understand.
928
01:33:19,119 --> 01:33:25,000
In an urban collective place we must think
about bringing about a congestion...
929
01:33:26,359 --> 01:33:30,360
...profiting, but in a modest way.
930
01:33:32,439 --> 01:33:36,840
So, what shall we do?
We must destroy the top.
931
01:33:36,920 --> 01:33:38,880
Do you understand or not?
932
01:33:40,960 --> 01:33:46,040
- What are you doing? - I brought you
some food. - I'll eat later.
933
01:33:46,119 --> 01:33:50,520
I'll just have some milk, go to bed.
I must study.
934
01:33:50,600 --> 01:33:52,680
After three months of studying...
935
01:33:52,760 --> 01:33:57,640
..Fantozzi saw the truth,
and he got slightly upset, or actually...
936
01:33:57,720 --> 01:34:01,960
..he got really angry.
They cheated me!
937
01:34:02,039 --> 01:34:06,320
- (Pina) Who?
- The bourgeoisie, the multinationals!
938
01:34:07,359 --> 01:34:11,400
They wanted me to believe that
I had a job because they were nice people.
939
01:34:11,479 --> 01:34:15,600
- Please, Ugo.
- Compliant and grateful? No way!
940
01:34:16,840 --> 01:34:21,280
One morning he entered the office
with long hair,...
941
01:34:21,439 --> 01:34:23,400
..and a mysterious pack.
942
01:34:36,239 --> 01:34:39,680
Cowards!
You are all against me!
943
01:34:44,399 --> 01:34:47,240
What have I done to you?
Twenty years of my life!
944
01:34:47,319 --> 01:34:50,040
I'll show you!
945
01:34:57,279 --> 01:34:59,240
Come down!
946
01:35:07,800 --> 01:35:10,040
You did it, didn't you, Fantozzi?
947
01:35:12,319 --> 01:35:14,280
Come.
948
01:35:14,560 --> 01:35:18,600
That was the Galactic Director
himself.
949
01:35:19,399 --> 01:35:24,840
The one that no employee
has ever seen.
950
01:35:24,960 --> 01:35:29,200
In fact, it was rumored
that he didn't even exist.
951
01:35:29,439 --> 01:35:33,800
That he was not human,
but an abstract entity.
952
01:35:43,039 --> 01:35:48,200
Around the 19th floor he had
a monstrous hallucination.
953
01:35:50,840 --> 01:35:54,200
of being crucified in the lunchroom.
954
01:36:54,439 --> 01:37:00,840
Excuse me,... is this...
is this your room?
955
01:37:00,920 --> 01:37:04,440
- Sure.
- What about the 100 rubber plants?
956
01:37:04,520 --> 01:37:06,800
and the chairs made of human skin?
957
01:37:06,880 --> 01:37:11,160
The big aquarium where the luckiest
employees can swim in?
958
01:37:11,239 --> 01:37:16,480
Just rumors, dear Fantozzi,
to create subversive propaganda.
959
01:37:18,279 --> 01:37:24,880
- Please, sit down.
- Where shall we go...?
960
01:37:24,960 --> 01:37:30,480
- Sit down, here.
- Here? In your chair? - Sure.
961
01:37:30,560 --> 01:37:34,480
Some water? A piece of bread?
962
01:37:34,560 --> 01:37:39,600
- Can I eat it together with you?
- Sure.
963
01:37:39,680 --> 01:37:43,040
- What's the difference between you and me?
- There is.
964
01:37:43,119 --> 01:37:45,120
What do you mean by difference?
965
01:37:45,199 --> 01:37:48,720
Surely you're not telling me
that we are equal?
966
01:37:48,800 --> 01:37:52,840
You are the masters, the slavers.
We are the starving ones!
967
01:37:52,920 --> 01:37:58,320
Dear Fantozzi, it's just a matter
of words, of understanding.
968
01:37:58,399 --> 01:38:01,800
You say masters,
and I say employers.
969
01:38:01,880 --> 01:38:05,920
You say slavers,
and I say wealthy.
970
01:38:06,000 --> 01:38:09,360
You say starvers,
and I say lower class.
971
01:38:09,439 --> 01:38:13,760
- But for the rest, I think the same way as you do.
- What?
972
01:38:13,840 --> 01:38:16,120
I am an enlightened man, like yourself.
973
01:38:16,880 --> 01:38:20,840
And I am convinced that in this world
there are many iniquities to cure.
974
01:38:20,920 --> 01:38:27,240
I think the same way as you do,
and the same way Mr Folagra does.
975
01:38:27,640 --> 01:38:31,720
But excuse me, Sir...
976
01:38:31,840 --> 01:38:36,160
You're not going to tell me that you are
a communist?
977
01:38:36,279 --> 01:38:40,800
(Thunders)
978
01:38:41,720 --> 01:38:46,000
Well, not exactly a communist.
979
01:38:46,079 --> 01:38:50,240
I am a moderate progressive.
980
01:38:51,880 --> 01:38:54,400
But what do you plan to do
about all these grievances...
981
01:38:54,479 --> 01:38:58,920
..and all these injustices?
982
01:38:59,680 --> 01:39:03,520
Well, this would require...
983
01:39:04,079 --> 01:39:08,960
..that for every single problem,
all the men of good will,...
984
01:39:09,039 --> 01:39:13,480
...men like you and me, start to...
985
01:39:13,560 --> 01:39:16,400
- Please, sit down.
- Here, may I?
986
01:39:16,479 --> 01:39:21,560
They would need to start to meet
together without any violence and talk.
987
01:39:21,640 --> 01:39:24,600
until we reach an agreement.
988
01:39:25,159 --> 01:39:30,280
But, excuse me, Your Holiness,
this way will take at least 1000 years.
989
01:39:30,359 --> 01:39:33,440
I can wait.
990
01:39:34,920 --> 01:39:36,880
Thanks.
991
01:39:37,439 --> 01:39:43,200
So, the only missing thing would be
the chair made of human skin.
992
01:39:47,119 --> 01:39:49,080
It does exist?!
993
01:39:53,319 --> 01:39:57,040
- Human skin. - Yes.
- Accountant Fonelli...
994
01:39:57,119 --> 01:39:59,080
I recognize him!
995
01:40:00,479 --> 01:40:05,440
Nice. What about the aquarium
of the employees?
996
01:40:10,319 --> 01:40:15,960
It does exist! The aquarium!
Wonderful.
997
01:40:16,720 --> 01:40:23,160
What a show! Here's Miss Perissi.
And mechanic Mr Molli.
998
01:40:24,800 --> 01:40:29,080
And the janitor Tritti, chosen.
And accountant Bulzoni.
999
01:40:31,560 --> 01:40:37,600
As I can see, Your Holiness,
you don't have the mullet.
1000
01:40:38,800 --> 01:40:41,160
May I have the honor?
1001
01:40:41,960 --> 01:40:46,440
Alright, you may.
1002
01:40:48,600 --> 01:40:54,640
- Thanks. - But be always,
respectful and faithful.
1003
01:40:54,720 --> 01:40:56,680
I will, your almighty.
1004
01:41:22,840 --> 01:41:26,000
Accountant Fantozzi Ugo,
ID 7820l8-a.
1005
01:41:27,199 --> 01:41:29,800
from the Accidents Department.
1006
01:41:30,305 --> 01:41:36,770
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