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Henry VIII a fat fierce and famous for
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his way with women
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he was 200 pounds of dynamite and a
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2-inch views six wives
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Henry dick has got this unbelievable
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reputation for being this great lothario
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five thousand calories a day it'd be
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lifted up and downstairs by some great
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pulley systems at one tragic accident
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there's an interesting argument that
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this damaged his brain welcome to the
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secret life of Henry d8
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[Music]
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thirty-eight ruled England from 1509 to
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15,000 during that time he pissed off
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the Pope gained over a hundred and fifty
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pounds and married six women their fates
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immortalized by this handy schoolyard
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rhyme if the tabloid press had existed
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back then they would have had a field
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day the popular perception of Henry the
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eighth he's a really horrible tyrannical
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cruel man who most people think kills
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all of his wives to look at him and say
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oh fat old woman is just too simplistic
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and simply not true
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today's Royal peanut boys have nothing
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on Henry he's the tantalizing tutor the
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sexiest man alive
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the handsomest sovereign in Christendom
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writes the Venetian ambassador there is
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fiery power in his eyes gushes Sir
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Thomas More he was described as the
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best-dressed sovereign in the world the
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most attractive King had ever lived
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[Music]
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he was six foot two when most men would
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have come up to about here the average
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height was five foot seven and a half
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he had a fine head of red hair that was
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thought to be very attractive he had a
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chest measuring 42 inches and a waist of
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35 and let's not forget his magnificent
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cars a sign of a good-looking man in the
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16th century was their shapely leg
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fashion at the time wasn't showing off
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women's legs it was all about men's legs
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and what was between them part of the
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reason that Henry's club pieces is
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emphasized so much is because he hasn't
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produced the children that everybody was
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expecting as the source of
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overcompensation it's all about virility
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and it's to say I'm such a man look at
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me look at my broad shoulders look at my
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huge keys
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Henri's codpieces may have been
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exaggerated but his physical prowess was
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not in his prime he wore out six horses
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a day filled elevator at his first
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tennis courts and was an accomplished
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wrestler and Archer and help was no dumb
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jock he was also known for his poetry
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his music
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and legendary charm he was the perfect
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Renaissance Prince but he wasn't the
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only one Francis the first king of
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France was also young buff and rich and
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these two royal rivals became obsessed
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with each other they grew beards at the
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same time they compared their calves
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they wrestled together and in 15-20 they
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staged the biggest royal pissing match
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the world has ever seen
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officially the field of cloth of gold is
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a superpower peace summit in reality
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love the bling with Hank and Frank vying
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to see who has the biggest codpiece for
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anybody who was anybody in England and
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France it would have been the equivalent
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of a ticket to the Academy Awards or
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something like that absolutely the
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must-see show in town that particular
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summer this magnificent oil painting is
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the only visual record we have of the
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event it clearly shows this Battle of
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the pavilions Henry's a pleasure palace
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in front were two fountains one poured
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wine the other poured beer the brick
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base of the palace was eight feet high
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above that was 30 feet of canvas held up
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by timber and painted to look like stone
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this astonishing feat of Tudor
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engineering was built for only two weeks
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Frances dry sand equivalent sort of
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thing away what he does is build a
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massive massive trillion of tents so
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large that it has to be held up by two
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ships masts and the winner is on the
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sheer physical ostentatious side I think
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Henry probably comes out a bit better
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[Music]
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[Applause]
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Henry may have been the king of bling
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but which of these Renaissance rivals
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ruled between the sheets hint the one
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with a royal pace of the clap Henry Duke
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has got this unbelievable reputation for
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being a straight lothario but the guy
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who's really getting dirty is Francis we
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can see clearly that he gets infected
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with syphilis and he is treated for
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syphilis horrible horrible treatments
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this involves a cycle of mercury
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injections administered to an extremely
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sensitive area and there's been a lot of
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speculation about whether Henry himself
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was infected it could have explained
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some of his reproductive problems I
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believe not when treatment for syphilis
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required an immediate withdrawal from
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public view much like celebrity we have
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today but no point does Henry disappear
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from public life which would have been
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the standards six-week mercury
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treatments for syphilis false is the
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first of faults he does do this he
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disappears
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Francis was the horndog he's the
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authority of not Henry the Eighth but
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despite this Francis successfully
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performs his official duties not one but
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two spares Henry has no such luck
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certainly the suggestion is that he was
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200 pounds of dynamite and a 2-inch fuse
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perhaps he really didn't have what it
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took in the bedroom and we just don't
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know but what we do know is this he
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married almost as many times as Liz
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Taylor
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Henry had six wives but he would have
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preferred not to I believe he had quite
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a romantic view of love his ideal
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situation was to be with just one woman
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and for it to be a marriage of minds and
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bodies and for 24 years that's exactly
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what he had with Catherine of Aragon he
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loves
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Efrain the only thing that she couldn't
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do and it wasn't her fault was provide
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him with a healthy male heir
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that's what's tragic about her story
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[Music]
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it's 1525 and after 24 years of marriage
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Henry the Eighth Falls for one of the
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ladies-in-waiting judging by the
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portrait ambolyn well she was definitely
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no Angelina so what was the attraction
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she was just very sophisticated worldly
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glamorous she'd been at the French Court
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she was just a bit exhausted Henry's
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totally besotted you can't wait to get
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into her knickers but she holds out and
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she won't allow him what he wants to
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have her until they're pretty well on
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the way to being lawfully legally
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married so for now it's a lot of dry
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humping on the Royal City we have a
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letter from Henry to Anne saying that he
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trusted that he would be able to kiss
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her pretty duckies that's the Tudor
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slang for boobs and that he was looking
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forward to it immensely so we know that
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they were up to something they become
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the duckies that changed the world
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Henry dumps his wives breaks with the
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Pope starts his own church and marries
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and now he needs a bigger place to party
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so he orders the massive renovation of
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Hampton Court it was built for them to
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entertain people to control them and to
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influence them by giving them all sorts
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of different kinds of sort of pleasure
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and entertainment it's Club Med and the
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Playboy Mansion rolled into 155 kitchens
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to feed a thousand people a day
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twenty-eight toilets all in a row they
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call it the great house of easement and
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the PS de resistance is the Great Hall
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three or four times a year Henry is
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gathering his entire court and guests
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from all over Europe together here in
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the Great Hall so you have to imagine
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ranks of tables on either side with
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hundreds of coaches and they're all
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being continually served course after
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course of meal and whilst all that's
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happening you've got this entire
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performance and entertainment whilst
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you're eating and dining the Venetian
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ambassador basically says that it was
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like going to heaven you have to imagine
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that Hampton Court is it's not just a
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home for Henry in a few it is sort of
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closest companion is it somewhere where
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hundreds of people are being entertained
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and if you're going to party you need to
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look good the stylish and the Lynne
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brings French culture to the dowdy
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English Court out with the dog house
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shaped acts that covered the hair and in
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with the ultra glam French hood and
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spent a vast amount of money on clothes
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but then that wasn't unknown her husband
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of the king was spending a fortune
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he would buy crimson velvet gowns that
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would have embroidery and damask gold
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and pearls all over them he had 120
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pairs of shoes made in one year that's
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one pair every three days
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royal Koecher is multi-layered elaborate
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and when Henry's in the mood takes an
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awfully long time to get out of go
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there's a lot to get off you see 30
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seconds so far another fight he's still
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got his hat on she's struggling with his
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pointing he's struggling with the lacing
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and we're out of minutes he's invested
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Cheers or you could take the shortcut
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but here's the dirty little secret under
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all those layers of luxury they wear
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pieces of fur to draw the bugs away from
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their skin Henry and Ana human fleabags
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but so is everybody else
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in lieu of indoor plumbing beds of reeds
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and rushes have to do the job and after
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several weeks the great hall start to
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stink they fill up with all the detritus
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that a thousand people living in one
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space might so it's a bit like going to
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a sort of a large open-air concert then
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it becomes muddy and whole vault and
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disgusting and I was using sort of
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portable toilet and that's very much
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what the Tudor quarters like you just
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can't maintain people living in a palace
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of the size of Hampton Court for more
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than a couple of months so off the wall
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you need just to clear everybody out tie
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this up clean it get it ready to be
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reoccupied but no worries if you're King
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Henry just move on to the next palace he
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has 60 to choose from and in the
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never-ending rock show that is Tudor
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Court life Gauss ting is the main
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attraction and Henry
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star you can tell if you're jousting
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against someone and they're letting you
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win Henry wouldn't have allowed that at
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all when King started they gestured for
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real it's no sport for sissies
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the object is to strike your opponent
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with a 15-foot Lance while charging at
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speeds of 50 per hour
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can you feel if I do this no course not
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it's made of steel are you all right Oh
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something bigger oh thanks you like
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already go for it this time come in I
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think it's hot
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we're going to see a real live jazz now
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you can rip the pieces of armor off
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smash fields to pieces those launches
273
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will go straight through those shields
274
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and they're an inch and a half or so fit
275
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you've seen us joust now I think what
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00:12:41,420 --> 00:12:42,890
we'd like to do is give you a little
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taste of it yourself so a bit further
278
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out the yard we've prepared something
279
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for you so we're gonna give you a chance
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to have a go at suggesting yourself
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coming me Iconia
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we've got you an arming cap on which two
283
00:12:59,090 --> 00:13:02,120
will cover your head the minute you feel
284
00:13:02,120 --> 00:13:05,240
that it's too heavy you shout fence
285
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you can barely see yeah I can do
286
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anything
287
00:13:15,699 --> 00:13:24,209
I can see why he did it if there was fun
288
00:13:24,209 --> 00:13:27,459
there's an example from 1559 of the
289
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french king dying as a result of a
290
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jousting accident it was not safe it was
291
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very dangerous
292
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he was beautiful
293
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he was buff he was sexy in 1536 life was
294
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good Anne Boleyn was pregnant his
295
00:13:43,749 --> 00:13:46,379
chasing skills were legendary but then
296
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calamity on the 24th of January 1536
297
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Henry was just II don't know against
298
00:13:53,470 --> 00:13:55,359
whom it was all covered up afterwards
299
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but what we do know is this fell from
300
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his horse and was unconscious for two
301
00:14:00,429 --> 00:14:03,279
hours there's theories that perhaps he
302
00:14:03,279 --> 00:14:05,559
bruised his cerebral cortex and and that
303
00:14:05,559 --> 00:14:07,839
helped change his personality there all
304
00:14:07,839 --> 00:14:09,309
these counts of American football
305
00:14:09,309 --> 00:14:10,989
players who've hit their head and that
306
00:14:10,989 --> 00:14:12,790
they've seen a character change as a
307
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result when Anne Boleyn hears the news
308
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she collapses and five days later she
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00:14:17,829 --> 00:14:20,139
has a miscarriage Henry is not only
310
00:14:20,139 --> 00:14:22,749
seriously injured but he still has no
311
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male everything just seems to come to a
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00:14:25,689 --> 00:14:28,449
crisis after this accident so I'm really
313
00:14:28,449 --> 00:14:30,539
attracted to the idea that it was due to
314
00:14:30,539 --> 00:14:33,730
just a simple blow to the head changed
315
00:14:33,730 --> 00:14:36,009
his personality from promising young
316
00:14:36,009 --> 00:14:40,059
Prince to the 16th century Stalin he
317
00:14:40,059 --> 00:14:42,459
never just it again and that's one of
318
00:14:42,459 --> 00:14:43,660
the reasons why he put on so much weight
319
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because he basically stopped doing
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00:14:45,789 --> 00:14:48,429
exercise he ran to seed and he made up
321
00:14:48,429 --> 00:14:50,529
for all those emotional blows by eating
322
00:14:50,529 --> 00:14:54,819
a lot 5,000 calories a day in fact Lucy
323
00:14:54,819 --> 00:14:57,369
Worsley hits the market with a list of
324
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the groceries needed to feed Henry
325
00:14:59,510 --> 00:15:01,170
a single week
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[Music]
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I've got my shopping list here Europe
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charlie I will read them we need 157
329
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sheep
330
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oh my good girl you've got to remember
331
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there are 600 people at cool yeah I need
332
00:15:13,200 --> 00:15:14,940
myself how many of these do you sell oh
333
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wait you said about 14 a week and we're
334
00:15:16,530 --> 00:15:20,490
quite busy yes oh yeah
335
00:15:20,490 --> 00:15:24,300
we need 44 dear yeah 35 picks with 23
336
00:15:24,300 --> 00:15:31,620
oxen 14 cars and one wild boar just run
337
00:15:31,620 --> 00:15:34,520
in there just well no just look
338
00:15:34,520 --> 00:15:36,470
can you help me out with apples here
339
00:15:36,470 --> 00:15:38,510
they like their apples got 1200 up this
340
00:15:38,510 --> 00:15:40,440
to me
341
00:15:40,440 --> 00:15:44,310
1,200 apples up to the palace I'm going
342
00:15:44,310 --> 00:15:48,230
to near 1,400 gallons of wine
343
00:15:48,230 --> 00:15:51,510
so we've calculated that we need seven
344
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thousand three hundred and thirty three
345
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bottles for one week any didn't really
346
00:15:59,160 --> 00:16:02,310
go in a big way for vegetables he wasn't
347
00:16:02,310 --> 00:16:05,550
a fiver day man and that's partly cause
348
00:16:05,550 --> 00:16:07,770
of status this is peasant food
349
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maybe half of their calories were coming
350
00:16:09,990 --> 00:16:11,850
from me and you've got to think well
351
00:16:11,850 --> 00:16:13,770
what does this mean for that digestive
352
00:16:13,770 --> 00:16:17,490
systems it means constipation clearly
353
00:16:17,490 --> 00:16:19,710
Henry's private time was not that
354
00:16:19,710 --> 00:16:22,770
private very rarely was he on his own
355
00:16:22,770 --> 00:16:25,260
even and this is very surprising to us
356
00:16:25,260 --> 00:16:27,600
when he goes to the toilets in many ways
357
00:16:27,600 --> 00:16:29,160
the most intimate most important
358
00:16:29,160 --> 00:16:31,980
servants a court is the groom of the
359
00:16:31,980 --> 00:16:34,680
stool whose job it is to look after the
360
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equipment and to make sure that the the
361
00:16:36,600 --> 00:16:38,400
cloth was there the King tube wipers
362
00:16:38,400 --> 00:16:40,800
bottom and to accompany the king at all
363
00:16:40,800 --> 00:16:41,250
times
364
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constipated from his diet in pain from
365
00:16:44,070 --> 00:16:44,850
his accident
366
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Henry grows increasingly paranoid and
367
00:16:47,490 --> 00:16:49,860
suspicious of everyone around him
368
00:16:49,860 --> 00:16:52,080
eventually charging even his beloved
369
00:16:52,080 --> 00:16:55,590
queen with infidelity and treason and
370
00:16:55,590 --> 00:16:58,620
had told her brother that Henry was not
371
00:16:58,620 --> 00:17:00,990
skillful in copulating with a woman and
372
00:17:00,990 --> 00:17:04,410
had neither figure nor potency
373
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it was a huge humiliation for Henry his
374
00:17:07,230 --> 00:17:09,270
impotency had been exposed before
375
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everybody who was important in England
376
00:17:11,490 --> 00:17:13,680
at that time and everyone had laughed
377
00:17:13,680 --> 00:17:17,160
behind his back the verdict guilty the
378
00:17:17,160 --> 00:17:19,599
sentence off with her head
379
00:17:19,599 --> 00:17:21,939
Henry moves on to his next wife and
380
00:17:21,939 --> 00:17:24,000
damage control for his manly image
381
00:17:24,000 --> 00:17:26,888
marries Jane Seymour ten days after
382
00:17:26,888 --> 00:17:30,399
Ann's execution and he has pictures
383
00:17:30,399 --> 00:17:33,250
painted that show himself with one of
384
00:17:33,250 --> 00:17:35,950
the largest cut pieces in the world the
385
00:17:35,950 --> 00:17:38,440
picture that we have by Holbein it's to
386
00:17:38,440 --> 00:17:40,659
be seen by the very people who'd heard
387
00:17:40,659 --> 00:17:43,690
him accused of impotency I'm really
388
00:17:43,690 --> 00:17:45,820
convinced that Henry is doing a
389
00:17:45,820 --> 00:17:48,669
propaganda campaign on the corpse to try
390
00:17:48,669 --> 00:17:49,929
and whitewash the whole thing and say
391
00:17:49,929 --> 00:17:55,240
you never heard this it's not true the
392
00:17:55,240 --> 00:17:57,460
transformation of Henry from hunk to
393
00:17:57,460 --> 00:18:01,649
horrid is complete he's fat smelly
394
00:18:01,649 --> 00:18:04,600
miserable and likely to send anybody who
395
00:18:04,600 --> 00:18:07,509
crosses him to the tower the only bright
396
00:18:07,509 --> 00:18:10,240
spot is Jane Seymour who gives him his
397
00:18:10,240 --> 00:18:13,870
line for son and heir task done Jane
398
00:18:13,870 --> 00:18:16,090
succeeds and that's why if he remembers
399
00:18:16,090 --> 00:18:18,159
her say warmly and and fondly also she
400
00:18:18,159 --> 00:18:19,840
does something very clever for her
401
00:18:19,840 --> 00:18:23,679
future reputation she dies very soon
402
00:18:23,679 --> 00:18:25,570
afterwards giving birth to Edward and
403
00:18:25,570 --> 00:18:27,759
immediately Henry is back in the market
404
00:18:27,759 --> 00:18:30,610
for a wife one male heir is not enough
405
00:18:30,610 --> 00:18:32,860
and we see that Edward does die and miss
406
00:18:32,860 --> 00:18:35,100
teens he doesn't live to adulthood and
407
00:18:35,100 --> 00:18:38,259
Kings need an heir and despair bring on
408
00:18:38,259 --> 00:18:40,809
wife number four German noblewoman Anne
409
00:18:40,809 --> 00:18:43,870
of Cleves she's a mail-order bride he's
410
00:18:43,870 --> 00:18:46,539
never seen her because he can't ask
411
00:18:46,539 --> 00:18:48,519
women to come and be interviewed for the
412
00:18:48,519 --> 00:18:51,340
job basically going by the painting she
413
00:18:51,340 --> 00:18:53,590
is a stunner but when he gets her in the
414
00:18:53,590 --> 00:18:55,779
Royal bedchamber he sees something
415
00:18:55,779 --> 00:18:58,299
rather different he describes her as you
416
00:18:58,299 --> 00:18:59,950
know having saggy breasts it was English
417
00:18:59,950 --> 00:19:02,110
she's probably not a maid you know she's
418
00:19:02,110 --> 00:19:04,539
not a virgin says she's smelly but could
419
00:19:04,539 --> 00:19:07,059
it be that Henry was projecting at this
420
00:19:07,059 --> 00:19:09,220
point the weeping ulcers on his calves
421
00:19:09,220 --> 00:19:11,230
gave off a stench that was hard to
422
00:19:11,230 --> 00:19:13,929
ignore and his own chest and belly were
423
00:19:13,929 --> 00:19:15,520
fat and sagging
424
00:19:15,520 --> 00:19:17,830
he needed a really good shrink and a
425
00:19:17,830 --> 00:19:20,170
really good doctor someone who could
426
00:19:20,170 --> 00:19:22,090
have made him better needless to say
427
00:19:22,090 --> 00:19:25,360
there was no action in bed the reason we
428
00:19:25,360 --> 00:19:28,170
know a loss abouts and and Henry's
429
00:19:28,170 --> 00:19:30,790
non-physical relationship is that Henry
430
00:19:30,790 --> 00:19:32,740
wanted to get the marriage annulled on
431
00:19:32,740 --> 00:19:35,110
the grounds of non-consummation now
432
00:19:35,110 --> 00:19:37,210
there are fresh whispers about the royal
433
00:19:37,210 --> 00:19:39,910
manhood he gets his doctor to put it
434
00:19:39,910 --> 00:19:41,650
around the court this he's had wet
435
00:19:41,650 --> 00:19:44,740
dreams in the night so clearly the king
436
00:19:44,740 --> 00:19:47,440
is still there it's just Anna Cleaves us
437
00:19:47,440 --> 00:19:49,810
for problem he dumps her problem soul
438
00:19:49,810 --> 00:19:52,030
and moves on to wife number five
439
00:19:52,030 --> 00:19:55,150
Catherine Howard she's 30 years younger
440
00:19:55,150 --> 00:19:57,880
and the ultimate trophy wife but at this
441
00:19:57,880 --> 00:20:00,490
point 50-year old Henry is definitely no
442
00:20:00,490 --> 00:20:02,170
prize he had to be lifted up and
443
00:20:02,170 --> 00:20:04,000
downstairs by some great pulley system
444
00:20:04,000 --> 00:20:06,430
by this point he walked if he walked at
445
00:20:06,430 --> 00:20:08,290
all with a stick he had very poor
446
00:20:08,290 --> 00:20:10,030
eyesight he walked glasses he was a
447
00:20:10,030 --> 00:20:12,640
complete wreck of a man not surprisingly
448
00:20:12,640 --> 00:20:15,340
Catherine's eye starts to wander rumors
449
00:20:15,340 --> 00:20:17,830
of infidelity swirl and turn out to be
450
00:20:17,830 --> 00:20:22,300
true the day after he has a prayers said
451
00:20:22,300 --> 00:20:24,520
to thank God for giving him this great
452
00:20:24,520 --> 00:20:27,190
marriage a letter is left on his chair
453
00:20:27,190 --> 00:20:29,500
in the chapel by his Archbishop Thomas
454
00:20:29,500 --> 00:20:32,200
Cranmer telling him all about the fact
455
00:20:32,200 --> 00:20:34,480
that Catherine Howard has been having an
456
00:20:34,480 --> 00:20:37,180
affair with someone else naturally it's
457
00:20:37,180 --> 00:20:39,430
off with her head and on to wife number
458
00:20:39,430 --> 00:20:42,520
six Catherine Parr who serves the King
459
00:20:42,520 --> 00:20:44,650
faithfully for the last four years of
460
00:20:44,650 --> 00:20:49,000
his life in 1547 Henry dies in Hampton
461
00:20:49,000 --> 00:20:52,320
Court of an aneurism he is 57 years old
462
00:20:52,320 --> 00:20:55,270
there's a story that during the night
463
00:20:55,270 --> 00:20:58,720
the coffin burst open that it exploded
464
00:20:58,720 --> 00:21:01,570
and that part of the juice from his
465
00:21:01,570 --> 00:21:03,550
corpse fell onto the floor was licked up
466
00:21:03,550 --> 00:21:07,210
by dogs some might consider it a
467
00:21:07,210 --> 00:21:09,370
suitable end for a murderous old tyrant
468
00:21:09,370 --> 00:21:12,250
others see it as a tragic close to a
469
00:21:12,250 --> 00:21:14,350
rain that began with great glamour and
470
00:21:14,350 --> 00:21:17,350
promise almost half a millennium after
471
00:21:17,350 --> 00:21:18,250
his death
472
00:21:18,250 --> 00:21:20,890
he continues to excite controversy I
473
00:21:20,890 --> 00:21:23,580
think Henry is a genuinely complex
474
00:21:23,580 --> 00:21:27,250
person I think he's a mysterious figure
475
00:21:27,250 --> 00:21:28,660
and that's why he's endlessly
476
00:21:28,660 --> 00:21:32,140
fascinating the more I study him me the
477
00:21:32,140 --> 00:21:35,080
more I feel sympathy for him and the
478
00:21:35,080 --> 00:21:38,430
more terrified I am of him
479
00:21:42,450 --> 00:21:45,100
next on yesterday Professor Brian Cox
480
00:21:45,100 --> 00:21:47,680
examines the extraordinary power of our
481
00:21:47,680 --> 00:21:50,560
Sun and how it's literally central to
482
00:21:50,560 --> 00:00:00,000
the wonders of the solar system
54836
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