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the two faces of Queen Elizabeth the

first this one that sexy superstar she

was almost Madonna the pop star and this

one the royal from hell

she broke one lady's finger she stabbed

another in the back of his house she

ruled England for 44 years on a heavy

mixture of fame power and repressed sex

they probably did everything except what

would have made her pregnant she was

famously married to England

so speculation ran wild Elizabeth was

never able to marry because of course

she was really a man welcome to the

secret life of Elizabeth the first the

Virgin Queen

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Elizabeth the first queen of England and

if you go by the portrait Queen of the

Universe part woman part goddess this

tall redheaded charismatic figure full

of energy clever as they come

she wasn't conventionally beautiful you

know she had this very long nose pointed

chin piercing eyes during her reign from

1558 to 1603 William Shakespeare picks

up his pen for the first time Sir

Francis Drake goes round the world and

the Spanish Armada ends up at the bottom

of the ocean

their English triumphs and Elizabeth

takes credit for them all choose better

than any modern politician at creating

this world of illusion

Elizabeth absolutely needed and expected

to be the center of attention of course

by the end of her reign she'd had 40

years of solid flattery so why wouldn't

she her entourage would stun a rockstar

1000 of England's high and mighty in the

royal court and flunkies to blow trumpet

fanfares

whenever she enters the room making a

Hollywood red carpet look like the

opening of a supermarket everything

about her says I'm Queen and you're not

home base is Whitehall in London

party central her street name is

gloriana she has more bling than Snoop

Dogg six hundred and twenty eight pieces

of very expensive jewelry like the dress

well there are 2,000 more where that one

came from they would have been decorated

with pearls these rumors with diamonds

they would have weighed a ton

they were priceless

in the 16th century you wore your wealth

on your back and Elizabeth was a

fashionista Elizabeth must have had the

greatest walking closet in history I

think like most superstars Her Majesty

is used to getting her own way she

spoiled willful and demanding Elizabeth

was very imperious she would order

certain things Hugh is like one of those

celebrities who will soar to say oh I

can only have blue Smarties in my

changing room no surprise considering

her upbringing in one of history's most

dysfunctional families the terrible

Tudors dad King Henry the eighth has mom

and Burrell in the headed disowns young

Elizabeth and declares her illegitimate

she's packed off to live with one of

Henry's exes Catherine Parr and her new

hubby Thomas Seymour he's tall handsome

athletic and a total slimeball he comes

to her room in his nightshirt and gropes

her beneath the sheets he's 40

she's 13 if she's not dressed yet look

if they're a sort of slap on the bottom

if she's in bed he'll pull open the

curtains and make as if he's going to

get into the bed with her

Thomas was told to stop it and said Oh

what nonsense you know it's just a

little fun and games no wonder she has

issues

it's amazing that Elizabeth not only

managed to function but to take all

those insecurities and I think really

make them part of her armor by the time

she's a teenager

it expects her to be setting fire to

barns and grain silos but she dutifully

buckles down to her studies she was

great intellect as she could speak and

read a number of languages Latin Greek

French Spanish and she could

sings she could dance she was very

talented she loves card games especially

a 16th century version of Hearts and is

a skilled and agressive hunter she could

hunt for hours if not days on end

she exhausted all the male companions

who went with her when the throne passes

to a little births Catholic half-sister

Mary

aka Bloody Mary for her nasty habit of

killing Protestants

she sends Elizabeth to the Tower of

London no sisterly love there she was

suspected of being a traitor

Elizabeth stews in the tower for 56 days

waiting for the raffle at the door and

the butt clenching trip to the chopping

block she was living under the threat

the daily threat of execution while she

was in the tower well Mary lets her go

and conveniently dies at the age of 25

Elizabeth becomes Queen and utters the

five words that will define her reign I

am married to England that was the

running theme throughout her speeches

all the way from her coronation through

to her later years and it was brilliant

and really that was a fantastic piece of

spin she's a powerful woman in a man's

world and knows exactly how to play the

boys I am but a weak and feeble woman

she famously said but I think she

pretended to regret that she'd been born

a woman in order to win over all those

men at court as she did it brilliantly

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January 1559 Elizabeth is crowned queen

at the age of 25 and declares herself

married to the realm trouble is she's

supposed to marry an actual guy and get

on with the job of producing an heir

Elizabeth said that when she thought of

marriage it really was as if fear was

clutching at her heart she has droves of

suitors Elizabeth got her needs met

through having this these attentions

from men and yet not having to give up

any of her power or her independence to

them she would accept foreign princes

and the envoy's and she would negotiate

with them and send her portrait off to

all these foreign princes and so what

she was doing was just to flirt with him

just to keep the possibility alive she

delighted in sending out conflicting

messages I would move to marry this

person and when I marry that person the

spanish ambassador threw his hands up in

the air and said this woman has got us

all wondering about wondering what she's

doing she deflected the pressure to Mary

by blaming it on the lack of candidates

for every candidate is a reason to say

no Archduke Charles of Austria to

Catholic

Francois Duke of Anjou to French his

brother only small pox scars gross and

he's a bisexual and the transvestite

king philippe ii of spain too old too

creepy and then a boy toy perfect

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Robert Dudley was the classic hero of

every romance novel

tall dark and handsome Hollywood would

have loved him a bit risque a bit of a

rogue dashing sporting sexy as hell she

keeps him close

making him her master of the horse the

nearest equivalent today would be a

royal bodyguard and we have heard

stories about royal ladies and their

bodyguards people noted how much

affection she had for him she even

entertained him in her chamber so there

was a real sense that maybe she would

want to marry him but Dudley has a

problem her name is Amy Rob's art his

wife Oxford September the 8th 1560 Amy

is home alone her servants returned to

find her at the bottom of staircase with

her neck broken dead as a doornail it

looks very fishing Elizabeth immediately

orders an inquest thirdly posh is his

alibi he was with the Queen that day but

it's not airtight instantly half the

courts of Europe began asking whether it

wasn't Robert Dudley who'd had her

killed

in the end the coroner whitewashes the

whole affair declaring Amy's death

accidental Dudley's off the hook but any

faint hope of marrying Elizabeth is now

out the window I think that then she

realized she didn't truly want to marry

not anybody not even Robert Dudley

so no marriage no babies and if you're

truly a virgin queen

no sex at all but there's always the

medieval tradition of courtly love

expressions of esteem between couples

that stop one panting breath short of

actually doing it when we watch Dudley

gazing adoringly into Elizabeth's eyes

when we see him kneeling at her feet

it's fine it's perfectly acceptable

because it's in the great tradition of

courtly love and courtly love was all

about the knight worshiping this lady

this woman he was never going to get and

it was a game that everybody at court

was allowed to play letters are fine

even love letters

but this was different this was a

scandal mopping his brow with the

Queen's handkerchief that's not courtly

love that's boyfriend stuff then it

horrified the court now it would be on

the front pages of every tabloid in the

days of courtly love it was actually

said that the lover may enjoy the naked

embraces of his mistress in a bed and

still their love may be counted pure if

the final solace is denied to them so

was the Virgin Queen really a virgin

it's what everyone wants to know and

raises another age-old question the one

that Bill Clinton had so much trouble

with I did not have sexual relations for

that woman what constitutes sex they

probably did everything except what

would have made her pregnant

I don't think Elizabeth ever went so far

as actually sleep with Robert Dudley it

was just too risky and Elizabeth was not

a risk taker 1568 Elizabeth turns 35 and

like all celebs spends hours on end

polishing the look

and Elizabeth was a complete master of

this she created an image that made her

like the Lady Gaga of her day it was

startling it was new and it first of all

started with a very white face but

Elizabeth's images of the greatest

importance to her so it's important that

she uses the very best of cosmetics the

Elizabeth herself would have used white

LED basalt for our models we're using a

modern cosmetic because of course white

LED is toxic and as time goes on it can

make your cheeks get slightly spongy

Elizabeth like to wear white because it

made her look virginal and made to look

pure and it made her stand out in this

Court

she had this constant look that she was

perfectly in control of and for a nice

rosy glow smear on some dead bugs the

coach Neal is a small beetle you grind

this up times are up to get this very

very clear cerise color elizabeth is

going for something that's much more

dramatic if she's being seen at a

distance you need a certain amount of

contrast to make sure that people

recognize you think that's actually that

lovely doesn't she look healthy she is

betraying herself

I almost has an artwork Chin's are

looking like a statue she ends up

looking like one of her portraits

Elizabeth in person controls her look

just as much and that includes a very

high forehead this is something they did

that was very strange they took the

hairline back about an inch which must

have been terribly painful to do because

to have a high forehead was considered

very attractive Elizabeth has gone down

in history as one of the most painted

monarchs we all know what she looked

like and we all think she was this

fantastic Queen and why do we think that

because Elizabeth wanted us to think

that she controlled her image every step

of the way it was like a form of 16th

century airbrushing and if we look at

this one here this portrait was painted

at the greatest moment of Elizabeth's

life she's not just Queen of England

she's queen of the world she's just

defeated our model and she has her hand

resting on the globe to just symbolize

how much she now dominates the world but

she always wanted to go one better in

her portraits and here

she's not just dominating the world

she's dominating nature and Elizabeth is

at the center controlling everything you

wouldn't think that elizabeth is

actually in her sixties here she looks

just as young as she ever did and yet it

was painted right at the end of her life

her gown is covered in tiny ears and

eyes just to show that Elizabeth hears

and sees everything and this one is all

about symbolism is called the Pelican

portrait because the Pelican is at the

center of Elizabeth breast in the form

of a jewel and the pelican so legend has

it picked its own flesh to feed to its

young just as Elizabeth sacrificed her

happiness for the people of England

Elizabeth can control her image but

can't control the rumor mill

herma she was a teen mom does he scare

Thomas Seymour had his way with her and

then tried to conceal the evidence we

have to assume that Elizabeth didn't

have any children because otherwise they

would have become the focus of attention

people don't stay silent entirely on

matters of such great importance rumor

Elizabeth and Dudley had a secret love

child who washed up on a beach in Spain

he was a young well-educated Englishman

who identified himself as Arthur Dudley

bastard son of Queen Elizabeth there are

people who talk of the Queen looking as

if she'd given birth

there are times the Queen disappear some

public view there is still a possibility

that she could have concealed a

pregnancy I believe that Arthur Dudley

claim was correct wait a minute when you

start looking at the details they don't

quite stack up in fact there were many

other children claiming to be the secret

love child of Elizabeth and juiciest of

all Elizabeth was really a man she sent

as a child to King Henry's hunting lodge

to wait out an epidemic the rumor she

dies and servants fearing for their

heads dress a redheaded boy in her

clothes and send him back in her place

and of course it was the greatest kept

secret in history because that is why

Elizabeth was never able to marry

because of course she was really a man

its lurid its scandalous and it's utter

nonsense it's enough to make you

screaming mad and when Elizabeth got mad

watch out

she was very difficult to be around

she had a hair-trigger temper that makes

Naomi Campbell look like Mother Teresa

there was very public and frequent spats

between Elizabeth and her ladies she

literally beat them in front of the rest

of the court today they beg her to go to

anger management but in the sixteenth

century all they can do is that she

broke one lady's finger she stabbed

another in the back of her hand for

serving her ill at dinner this was not a

nice boss to have around 1575 Robert

Dudley in a last-ditch attempt to get

Elizabeth to marry him throws the party

of the century turning his country

castle into a Disneyland style theme

park but her amusement there's a moving

island traveling towards her with a Lady

of the lake on it in a couple of nymphs

there's an ambrosial banquet with 300

dishes they have a 24 foot dolphin that

they've created that becomes our part of

the river and opens up and there are six

musicians within it a plan to fire a lot

of puppies and kittens from a cannon is

canceled at the last minute apparently

even the Elizabethans had their limits

the party goes on for 19

but Elizabeth still says no to Dudley

it's amazing but she won't give him her

hand

Dudley soon remarries and Elizabeth

banishes him from her presence she tried

to have him clapped in prison in the

town though everybody else told her that

no she really couldn't do that she gets

cranky ah with age she goes OTT

over the top people who were really

frightened of him

in fact one courtier said she's so

adamant and so hasta she's against love

itself and keeping up her looks takes

more and more makeup as Elizabeth got

older she keeps herself a makeup more

and more to cover up those telltale

lines they gave away that she was no

longer that beautiful young woman but

the irony is that it was her makeup that

was doing that to her the more she put

on the more she needed the lead has been

eating away at her she is almost 60 and

she really needs this thick lead paint

to cover her up there have been reports

of people descending almost into madness

as a result of extreme lead poisoning of

course you give her the rosy cheeks this

time we're using red mercuric sulfide

cinnabar so that's actually mercury it

is yes a terrible thing to put on your

skin another poisonous substance on top

of the lead in order to create a

dramatic Rouge effect on her cheeks

we're going to use the same coloration

on her lips what you aspire for a fairly

thin lips but as red as you can possibly

make them totally goes against our

modern views of makeup

this unpredictable and cruel woman is

because she's taking in all these toxins

through her face that's what we see in

this mask of Elizabeth the first her

love of sweets finally catches up with

her and her teeth turned black women at

court gamely play along blackening their

own teeth

the French ambassador says Elizabeth

holds a scented cloth to her face to

cover up her bad breath the Venetian

ambassador gets even busier uttering the

r-word repulsive the Earl of Essex

Elizabeth's new boyfriend walks in on

her and has a workup screaming moment

Elizabeth half bald without her wig her

skin without makeup pocked and pitted

there was a very poignant account of

Elizabeth in the last year of her life

finally calling for a looking-glass she

was said to have thrown the glass away

and been in floods of tears because she

saw for herself what she really looked

like in 1603 at the age of 69 she gets

sick

first it looks like a cold and then it

becomes something that's obviously

bronchitis or pneumonia her fingers

swell and her wedded to England

coronation ring has to be sawn off and

she lies for three weeks on these

cushions and refuses to change or to get

up or to go to bed she had a finger in

her mouth to prevent anybody giving her

any food forcing her to eat she did not

want any intervention by any doctors

March 24th 1603 she dies after an

astonishing 44 years on the throne to

this day she's considered by many to be

Britain's greatest monarch when

Elizabeth came to the throne

everyone thought she'd be lucky if she

held it six months

think of Elizabeth as this great queen

Gloriana who changes the face of England

and it partly because she rules was so

long she inspired loyalty she could be a

true friend but she could also be

vindictive and she could be very

self-centered so I can't

in all honesty say I like Elizabeth but

I do greatly admire her

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