Original subtitles

[Inaudible]

[Inaudible]

[Moaning]

(Gina) mommy? do dead people swallow?

Huh?

Well?

Do they?

[Groans]

[Clock ticking]

Huh?

No.

Then what do they do with the water in their mouth?

They stop getting water in their mouths.

Why?

[Shushing] don't wake daddy.

(Peter) daddy's awake.

It's Saturday, honey. Go back to sleep.

Daddy, daddy, they don't let you be a pilot if you wear glasses!

(Kathy) oh, Hannah!

Ollie, off!

Come on. Off the bed, Ollie. Off!

[Peter groaning]

I've been playing handball with quadratic equations all night.

Yeah? who won?

I better get this article finished,

or I am never going to get a good night's sleep.

[Peter and children laughing]

I'm workin' at school today.

No, no, no, you've got the kids till 2:00.

I got my museum class, then I got to drop off

the payroll at al's donut hole.

I want cinnamon... No, sugar!

(Gina) white ones!

No, no, no donuts for you little porkers.

[Gina and hannah] Oink! Oink!

(Peter) honey, uh, make my cruller with white icing.

[Peter laughing] 2 minutes.

[Peter grunting]

[Kathy screams]

(Kathy) it's not fair!

[Children laughing]

Is this fair?

Yes! yes!

Ok, what do you want for breakfast?

I'm dead.

[Hannah giggling] Well, that's easy.

(Museum docent) Look carefully at the way rubens

uses pinks and whites in his women.

They have the alabaster cast of a statue

with just enough rosy shades

to make them eminently approachable.

All I know is, they make me feel thin.

(Museum docent) And of course, the famous red hair.

Most art historians believe this was the color of his mistress' hair.

She was one of his favorite and most...

Emily, are we listing lovers or acquaintances?

You're done?

Well, I've been married for 10 years.

What do you want from me?

Didn't you go to college?

Yeah, but...

Ha. "one-night stand, handsome, great in bed."

And you regretted it?

Oh, him. He asked me to bring a friend next time.

And you can't remember his name?

[Mumbling] listen, when you've had over...

The names get a little fuzzy.

Oh, god!

"jean-Claude." oh, is this the guy in Saint Martin?

[Scoffs]

Yeah. you spent the weekend in the Caribbean

and didn't I go to, uh, marineland?

You came home with a plastic shark.

I came home with crabs.

[Both laughing]

[Museum docent clearing throat]

(Museum docent) And now, if you ladies will follow me.

(Museum docent) This French sculpture is from the 20th century

and by Edmond Louise Colette.

This sculpture epitomizes the art movement

from art nouveau to art deco.

Who was the best, and why?

(Museum docent) There's an emphasis on the simple lines...

Howard.

Because he just adored sex and couldn't get enough?

Because we were in love.

I've done that.

Oh, listen to you.

It must be hell being in a great marriage.

It is when you've been invited to your 15th high school reunion

and it kicks off wild sexual fantasies about your first love.

[Whistles]

Old numero uno, Robert?

No! Tommy and i never did it.

We did everything but for 2 years.

What?

Hey, you're from the coast.

In Ohio, you don't do it. I was saving it.

For who? Robert hornswath?

Evidently.

So, are you going?

I don't know. I haven't seen him in 15 years.

He lives in Denver now.

Probably wouldn't even be there.

Can you recover from a face-lift in 5 months?

Is this something we are going to worry about

or something we're going to have fun with?

Well, you'll have fun.

I know I'm never going to hear the end of it now.

Oh, Emily, what is the matter with me?

Every day, I fantasize about jumping on a plane to Denver,

finding Tommy, and screwing him silly!

Pardon me.

[Both laughing]

(Kathy) oh, what do you think of this?

(Gina) god, that's disgusting, mom.

(Kathy) Peter?

Hmm?

(Kathy) hmm.

[Woman chattering on TV]

Oh, now, what do you think of this one?

That's more Emily.

Hey, you know, bookkeepers can be chic. Peter?

Oh.

(Gina) yeah, she's not wearing a bra.

Can I see that, please?

No.

Uh, bedtime, yeah. Yeah, that's it. Bedtime.

Tomorrow's my birthday! Well, I know it's your birthday.

And your daddy and I have a lot of getting ready to do for your birthday.

Bedtime. i don't want to go to bed.

(Kathy) you never want to go to bed.

Good night, daddy!

Good night, sweetie. I'll be up in a minute.

(Kathy) brush your teeth.

(Gina) ok.

[Balloon inflating]

[Clears throat]

You dropped those.

[Balloon squealing]

I know that tune.

♪[Harmonica playing]

Ah.

[Squeals]

Can we do it without kissing?

Sure. oh, yeah. Come here.

[Moans]

Can we do it without moving?

I'm exhausted.

Oh. good. Me, too. I thought you wanted to.

Not me. How about you?

[Grumbling]

We can do it tomorrow. Yeah.

Nope.

After Gina's party, i doubt it.

Monday.

Department meeting. Goes late.

Tuesday.

Yeah, let's shoot for Tuesday.

That was nice.

It's always nice.

Lipstick. yeah.

[Siren wailing]

Where are you going?

To do my taxes and learn Spanish.

I need to sleep, Elliott.

You can sleep here, you know.

No, I can't. You're always drawing me.

Well, you waste a lot of time sleeping.

I like sleeping.

It makes the years go by faster.

That's a lousy attitude for a woman barely past 30,

everything ahead of her.

35 more years of finding the perfect piece of culture

for over Mrs. konzulman's sectional, unmarred by love or family.

Well, leave me if you must,

but if you're still going to check out that Denver gallery on Friday,

I'd like to see you tomorrow sometime.

Can't tomorrow.

Tomorrow's my goddaughter's birthday party.

I like birthday parties.

[Laughing] no. you're not invited.

Are you saying you're ashamed of me?

Everyone there is bringing their children.

I'll be dating one.

Yes.

Um, I'm 26.

I don't know why you're pressing this.

You'll just get bored and wanna leave.

With pin the tail on the donkey? No way.

All right. Come.

I will. Thank you.

Elliott!

Hmm?

[Scoffs]

[Groaning]

I can't believe you used my lipstick.

This is going to cost me $100.

$100 for a lipstick?

No, a trip to the cosmetic counter.

[Elliott chuckling] Right.

[Hooting]

[Children laughing]

(Mr. lucky) Is everybody having fun?

[Children cheering]

He's cute.

Where's my hat?

(Children) right there!

Have you seen my hat?

Right there!

[Exclaiming]

I'm going to get another, uh, apple juice.

Oh, and he's got a special birthday hat for you!

[Laughing] there you go!

And he's got something for you!

Hannah, when is your birthday?

3 more months.

3 months? I can't wait that long.

Me, too.

I cannot wait to give you your present for 3 months.

You can write anything you want in there: Your secrets, your dreams,

and only you can read them.

[Exclaims]

Emily, it's wonderful!

(Hannah) mom! mom!

[Laughing] Mr. lucky's got one for you! There you go!

[Laughing]

And Mr. lucky's got one for you!

There you go!

[Laughing]

Who else wants one?

(Children) i do!

Hey!

How's it going, chef?

Crazy.

Interesting, uh, bunch over there.

Oh, yeah. That's part of a parenting group.

Personally, I'd rather belong to a satanic cult.

Probably be easier on the kids, yes.

[Laughs]

Boy, do you know, they really like these suckers raw?

So how old is, uh, uh...

[People chattering]

Hi.

How are you?

Great party.

Oh, thanks, Elliott.

Yeah, I particularly liked the part when Mr. lucky couldn't find his hat.

Oh, I never get tired of that.

Hey, can you make purple?

Purple? uh, milk.

Do you want, uh, magenta purple or, uh, fuchsia purple?

Emily said you were good.

Uh-oh. what else does our friend say?

That, uh, you're a great dancer.

I'll settle for that.

So how old is, uh, your-- pin the tail on the donkey.

I forgot to put up the donkey. Can you believe it?

Peter! didn't i just see him?

Peter! you know what?

We really have to be going.

But aren't you gonna stay for cake?

Uh, cake?

Oh, I'm sorry. Jeez!

Thank you.

You're going? Uh-huh.

[Mumbling] you don't want any cake?

Thank you.

Wow. purple!

Boy, if you're going to have a hot fling,

you might as well have it with someone who looks like that.

Oh! donkey.

(Emily) you said you wanted to meet my friends.

I guess they weren't enough to hold your attention.

They seem like very nice people.

We don't exactly have a lot in common. So what?

No. you don't.

[Groaning] you make that sound like an accusation.

Come on, em. Look, you said you wanted to come,

but what you meant was you wanted to come and go.

I'm not leaving. This is my goddaughter's birthday party.

And I'm staying till the last present is open and the last kid goes home.

All right. You want me to stay, I'll stay.

I never wanted you to come in the first place.

All right.

I get the picture. You'll get home all right?

Kathy will take me. Ok.

Remember when we said we would stop this when it wasn't fun anymore?

Mmm-hmm.

Are we having fun now?

No. mmm-mmm.

[Mr. lucky shouting]

[Children cheering]

Whoa! careful, Liana.

[Ollie barking]

I know, I know.

Elliott leave?

Why can't I be attracted to a nice, solid professional?

You got any divorced m.B.A.'S around?

I liked him. I thought he was kind of disarming.

We broke up.

In a phoney sort of way.

And look what he calls purple.

Yeah, you can do better than that.

Anyway, his bod wasn't that great.

Yes, it was.

Yes, it was. Mmm-hmm.

[Both sighing]

Are you ok?

Yeah.

Great party, mom.

Hey, come to dinner Friday.

I can't. I'm supposed to be in Denver on Friday.

Denver?

Elliott's got a show there in a couple months.

Tommy's Denver?

Emily, you gotta look him up for me.

[Laughs] and say what?

He's-- he's got a sporting goods store

right downtown: Andrews sporting.

P-pretend you're-- you're buying a gun.

Kathy.

You haven't seen this man since you were 16.

He's probably fat, bald, and ugly.

Great! what better way to put me out of my suffering?

Think about it. Why spoil a great fantasy?

'Cause it's beginning to make my marriage look like sludge.

You have a wonderful marriage.

Exactly.

Oh, come on, do me a favor. Just--just look at him.

Maybe.

The last thing are these two there.

(Receptionist) Jamison Thomas gallery.

[Receptionist chattering]

Which one goes on the left?

Hmm.

It's not enough just to look him up.

This one. Definitely.

What are you talking about?

I have to find out what it's like.

You've gotta sleep with him.

Kathy, I've got a plane to catch in 30 minutes.

Are these the invoices?

Emily, listen to me.

Someone's got to complete the mission, you know what I mean?

I can't sleep with Tommy, but you can.

It's the only way.

[Laughing] don't say another word. I'm your gal.

You're not taking me seriously.

Yes, I am.

To go to Denver and not sleep with your high-school boyfriend?

Now, that's stupid.

No, you don't seem to understand. This is really getting to me.

Kathy.

I'm just asking you a simple favor.

Uh, I'll try to look him up, ok?

Oh, thank you!

Oh, and Saturday, come straight to my house from the airport.

Oh, and when you meet him, don't wear this.

I hate this on you.

[Crickets chirruping]

(Gina) 3 plus 3 is 6.

1 plus 1 is 2.

(Gina) 10 plus 10 is 20.

[Gasps] wait, mom. Give us a few more minutes!

It's 8:00 Saturday night. You know the rule.

Ok, bed. Come on, Hannah.

There you go. Did you brush your teeth?

Uh-huh. all right. Thank you.

How about you? Did you brush your teeth?

Yeah. good girl.

Good night, sweetheart.

Good night, mommy.

(Gina) good night, mommy.

Come on, Ollie.

[Whimpers]

(Gina) good night, Ollie.

Did I mention that I love you?

I love you, too, mom.

I love you.

Good night.

♪[Playing blues riff on harmonica]

♪ The attractor splits in 2 ♪

♪[plays blues riff]

♪ Magnetic fields drift

♪[plays blues riff]

♪ Impulse becomes erratic

♪[plays blues riff]

♪ She walked in the room

♪[plays blues riff]

♪ So she could rub his neck

♪[plays blues riff]

♪[Harmonica warbling]

[Groans] ♪ then she gave him a little kiss ♪

♪[Kathy humming blues riff]

♪ Something like this

♪[Peter humming blues riff]

♪ Then on Monday, she calls him on the phone ♪

♪ says she'll bring the kids home ♪

From ballet lessons so that i can stay at school and correct papers?

Fat chance.

[Both laughing]

♪[Plays blues riff]

Oh, I'm so glad I'm married to you.

What brought that on?

Your music. It's so-- it's beautiful.

It's...

Really? oh, yeah.

You lie like a rug.

I don't lie!

[Doorbell ringing]

Ooh, I'll get it.

No, no. That's Emily.

So?

It was a good trip.

Did you see anybody I know?

♪[Peter plays blues riff]

Hey, em.

♪[Peter playing harmonica]

Spill it.

You sure you want to hear this?

He's a fat slob. Mmm-hmm.

Emily, what--what is the point if you don't tell me?

Is he-- is he married with 5 kids?

Is he a bum? Is he dead? What? See?

Look, I'm just making myself crazy.

You sure?

Oh, tell me!

You did me the favor.

What are you talking about?

I'm talking about Tom.

The big, strong hunk in a red flannel shirt,

with a tongue like velvet and the arms you could die in.

You met him?

No wonder you always fantasize about him.

This one's a man!

Capital m-a-n, man.

♪[Playing harmonica]

If there were a nuclear war, Tom's the one I'd want in my bomb shelter.

He sure grew up.

Actually, if there wasn't a nuclear war,

I'd want him in my bomb shelter.

You don't have a bomb shelter.

And get up off the floor.

Kathy.

Kathy, this man made me feel like a woman.

What do you mean?

We talked. We laughed. We danced.

So the two of you...

All night.

♪[Peter playing harmonica]

Honey, we're trying to talk in here!

Ok.

Tell me everything.

(Emily) i could still see him as the plane took off.

[Emily moans]

I could still smell him.

[Moans]

That's everything.

And to think I almost didn't even call him.

Oh, Kathy!

The man knew what i wanted before I did.

Hmm.

You seem upset.

Oh, no, no, not at all. Mmm-mmm.

No. couldn't have worked out better.

See? it's finished.

He's out of my mind, and I have you to thank for it.

I never have to think of him again, ever!

You're mad at me.

Kathy, I did you a favor.

It was your idea. You told me to sleep with him.

Once. once! Not 8 times.

The shower doesn't count. We didn't--

oh, can't you do it on a bed like normal people?

I never told you to do it on a butcher block!

Kathy.

This may come as a surprise to you, but I did it for me.

Wait!

Did you talk about me at all?

You've got Peter and the kids.

Let me have my one lousy night in Denver.

Well, uh... Did he ask for my number?

Yeah, he asked for your number.

[Knife clinking]

♪[Humming]

Good night, Peter.

You leaving already, em?

Mmm-hmm.

Want something to eat?

Nah.

(Peter) sure? yeah.

You're missing out.

See you later.

All right.

I guess it's you and me, buddy.

[Ollie whines]

♪[Humming]

Hey.

What was that all about with Emily?

Oh, nothing.

A teacher from Princeton started today.

Joe dubin.

He's a brilliant guy.

They just throw grants at him.

He sticks with all those basic linear questions like:

"How big is it?" And "how long does it last?"

So he gets a lot of equipment.

He gets a lot of attention.

But I don't know, i think he totally ignores the disorderly behavior

of a lot of important, uh, phenomena.

Can't deal with it.

Doesn't know what to make of it, right?

I don't know. With my stuff, you know,

this equation that I'm testing

about reversing magnetic fields...

You know, with that stuff, i gotta deal with disorderly behavior.

Because, I mean, patterns can be stable,

but when they're really fascinating is when they're

unstable.

Chaotic.

Wild and abandoned.

Hey.

Olives.

So you look at the patterns.

Logic gets you so far, then you gotta go on a feeling.

You've got to follow your intuition.

See, I've got a feeling that there is a point of crisis

in stable systems of magnetic fields,

where small changes get magnified, and then all of a sudden

everything goes amok.

I don't know. It's just--just a feeling.

[Tapping]

[Whines]

See, that's why I say that fractal geometry is a lot like the blues.

The passion, the power, the mystery and...

I don't know.

Sometimes you have to look at things in the periphery

because if you look right at it, you don't see what's there.

Oh, I'm sorry.

Are you hungry?

I'm going to make you one of these.

♪[Organ playing]

[Inaudible]

Honey.

What?

Give somebody else a chance, huh?

Beautiful sermon.

(Pastor) thank you, thank you.

[Gina and Hannah laughing] Beautiful sermon.

[Inaudible] Bobby, tie your shoe.

(Kathy) Hannah, Hannah, here!

[Peter exclaims]

(Pastor) it's always a tragedy

to see a young man cut down in the bloom of his life.

He was a good father and a wonderful husband,

although sometimes inattentive.

He always performed satisfactorily,

but not with the enthusiasm of the early years.

Nonetheless, it was a cruel, and shocking blow to those he left behind.

We ask god to comfort and restore Kathy,

easing her through the next few months,

which I know will be a trying and lonely time for her.

♪[Wedding music playing]

(Gina) mommy?

Mommy? hmm?

Whoa.

[People gasping]

Are you ok?

Yeah.

(Pastor) careful. yeah.

[People chattering]

Ta-da, we're ok.

I'm having a hard time with this.

(Peter) you forgot me! You forgot me!

Thank you!

Ready? yeah.

Boy, that sermon...

But you seemed to be listening to every word.

Did I? Yeah.

(Gina) Hannah, wait for me!

I would say... not just me, of course, others would say,

when I was at Princeton... Grazie.

[Chuckling] when I left Princeton, and again, it's not just because

I was chairman of the department, but when I left,

I believe it was the finest math department in the country.

[Clock chiming] It was? Hmm?

You say it was the finest? Because...

I left.

Never mind why.

All right. I'll tell you.

Ran into a little woman trouble.

Grad, undergrad, what's the difference? You know what I mean?

Don't ask me, Joe.

I'm the father of 2 daughters.

(Joe) yeah, there's a headache.

You don't expect them to be virgins

by the time they go to college, do you?

(Peter) honey.

What?

That's a good answer.

[Phone ringing] No. I... It's just that they--

oh, I'll get it. No, I'll get it.

No, no, honey, honey, honey. Got it! Got it! I got it!

I got it.

[Chuckling] boy, she sure comes alive when the phone rings.

Might I suggest lithium?

No.

For Kathy, aspirin is a psychedelic.

Hello.

[Emily mimicking tom] Hi. This is Tom.

That's not funny.

You've lost your sense of humor.

I'll laugh when it's funny.

I just wanted to remind you of Elliott's opening on Friday.

Dennis hopper will be there.

Put your name on the list?

Ok. I'm not sure i can make it.

Whatever.

[Dial tone]

Bye.

Anybody been, uh, hanging up when you answer the phone?

Yeah, her mother.

[Laughing]

Don't tell Kathy.

Who was that?

Emily.

Oh, gosh, couldn't you two guys make up?

Oh, well, you know, uh, historically speaking, when 2 women fight,

it's usually over a man.

Ooh, whoa! Ok. Oh, I'm sorry.

(Peter) good shot. 2 points.

Excuse me. I'm sorry. I'll just get a towel.

That's all right.

Mmm-hmm.

♪[Pop music playing]

[People chattering]

Does Emily know Dennis hopper?

I don't know.

'Cause we could be talking to him, you know.

Does the guy talk?

I don't know. He's short, I know that.

Short? he looks very tall in the movies.

No, no, no, no, he's very short.

Oh, honey, you're so good at this stuff.

You always know what to say.

Ooh, there's the bar.

Go. go.

I'll start there.

[People chattering]

[Inaudible]

Would you all excuse me? Enjoy the show.

It's all yours.

I almost hate to part with it.

You've made a great discovery in Elliott.

You have a good eye, Mrs. konzulman.

Can I have a moment with you, miss Emily?

Elliott, this is Mrs. konzulman.

She just bought this piece.

Oh, great, great. I hope you enjoy it.

I will. It's so pretty.

Hmm.

Yes. yes, what exactly do you--

Elliott. we have some business to attend to.

Enjoy it.

(Elliott) "pretty?" did she say "pretty"?

No, Elliott, she said "evocative."

It is evocative and lyrical.

It is evocatively lyrical.

Well, thank you.

And might I add, you're looking

very evocatively lyrical tonight.

So you want to consummate the sale, hmm?

Hmm?

No.

I miss you.

I miss this.

I'm sure you do.

All right, Emily.

I screwed up at Gina's birthday party.

I'm sorry. But that's it? No more fun?

I've had plenty of fun.

I need something more.

Ok.

Ok?

So use me till the right guy comes along.

I think he has.

That's all you had to say.

Say, have you seen, uh, Dennis hopper?

Basically, I added another name to my list, which I certainly didn't need,

and I can tell you, it's another regret.

What can I say, Kathy?

We were swept away.

Tommy doesn't get swept away.

We spent 2 years not getting swept away.

Of course, I don't strip as soon as I get into a man's apartment.

No. you only pimp your friends.

You know what I regret about this whole thing?

I regret that I told you, and I'm not going to tell you anything anymore.

Whoa, $11,000?

[People chattering]

[Inaudible]

I'm sorry about you and Emily.

I hope you guys can still be friends.

Yeah, me, too.

Although it can be hard being friends

if, say, if either of you finds someone else.

You dating anybody new?

No, I'm not.

Hmm. and Emily, yeah, hmm...

Well, she is.

But I don't have to tell you that.

The man from Denver?

Denver? she met him in Denver?

What--what has she told you?

Nothing. nothing. What has she told you, anything?

Ah, there you are.

Honey, you remember Elliott?

Yeah. it's great stuff.

Hi, Peter. Thank you.

Mmm.

It's a little steep, but it's pretty.

Pretty?

You know, it's a little claustrophobic

in here for me. Can we go?

Yeah.

Great. really, oh, good show.

Elliott, beautiful, beautiful work.

I never saw Dennis hopper.

Hello, lover.

I'm so glad I came.

You know, i can't believe that you and Kathy are friends.

You're so much-- so much more beautiful and sophisticated than she is.

I feel sorry for her.

She's such a pathetic little thing.

Yeah. I can barely remember her.

Well...

Her hips have really spread since she had the children.

Hmm.

[Screaming]

[Shushing]

Honey, what?

Oh, it's horrible.

Oh, was it a nightmare, huh? It's over.

It's all over. No, it's not.

I wish it was, but it's not.

[Shushing]

Want some water or something?

Promise me. Just promise me! What?

I said promise!

Ok, ok, I promise.

What?

Find someone else for Emily.

That's your nightmare?

She's lonely. She doesn't have anybody.

She doesn't need my help.

See, men find her very attractive.

You promised!

Ok. ok.

Yeah. I'll think about it. Um...

Ok, yeah. Yup.

Yeah, uh...

No.

So, blah, blah, blah, and when asked about this

[laughing] comparison to Einstein, professor dubin said:

"Einstein flunked math. I didn't."

[Laughing]

You can keep that one. I've got copies.

I can't find my keys.

Oh, can't wait to get me inside, eh?

Joe, it's late.

Late, yes. Well, let me ask you this, though,

you really don't want me to leave, do you?

I have to get up early tomorrow. Mmm-hmm.

It's 8:50.

Then how about a little good night fuck?

Hmm? hmm?

Good night, fuck.

[Laughing]

That's good, Emily, you little minx!

[Doorknob rattling]

(Joe) all right. Come on, now.

All right, don't--don't make me beg, ok?

Come on, 'cause I'm not the type. It doesn't suit me.

All right. I'll beg. Emily! Emily.

Emily.

[Chuckling]

[Coughs]

Whoops.

Honey, when's dinner?

When's dinner? You want to know when dinner is?

I'll tell you when it is. It's when we're good and ready.

That's when dinner is.

We're having brownie stew tonight, remember?

Or do you just remember how to be waited on and how to stuff your face?

Is that what you think i do everyday when I leave the house?

I go someplace and I stuff my face?

I'm sorry I'm taking so long.

Oh, honey, no. You're doing great.

I work hard for the family.

I'm killing myself trying to separate oscillations on fractal boundaries.

How very meaningful.

"How very meaningful."

That brings up an interesting question

because what is "meaningful"?

Regard for each other, that could be meaningful.

Love, friendship,

tolerance.

Those things, they can be meaningful.

Looking at your husband with compassion in your eyes

instead of resentment, that could be meaningful.

You act like I did something wrong or let you down in some way.

And if I have, you should tell me.

Oh, you haven't let me down. I...

It has nothing to do with you.

Well, what's it got to do with?

It's silly. It's...

Emily and...

That fight is worth all this?

You've been pretty awful lately.

I don't think I deserve it. Does Emily?

No.

(Emily) ok, let's see.

12, 13, 14, 15, 16.

[Door buzzing]

It's over! I've got a handle on it.

I've got a wonderful life. I'm gonna keep it that way.

And Tom Andrews is not a part of it.

He's a part of your life now, and I can accept that.

Want to come in?

Hmm.

If the two of you can find happiness together,

I am certainly not going to stand in your way. I--

(Emily) what are you talking about?

(Kathy) you and Tom.

There is no "me and Tom."

[Birds chirping] But you told Elliott there was a new guy.

I told him that to get rid of him.

No "you and Tom"?

It was one night.

You had the relationship with him.

I had one night.

Oh, I wish it could have worked out for the two of you.

Kathy, you're so full of shit.

Look, I don't want to talk about me and Tom.

I don't want to talk about you and Tom.

I don't even wanna talk about that pompous asshole

your husband fixed me up with.

So, if those are the things you came here to discuss, try the mirror.

There's one in the bathroom.

I've really been selfish, haven't I?

[Siren wailing]

Hmm.

I'm sorry.

And I'm pregnant, I think.

Tom?

Elliott. Elliott.

How late are you?

About 5 years. Shall we?

What is it we're looking for?

If it's positive, a donut forms.

[Kettle whistling]

A donut?

What do you mean, like a ring?

Yeah, but they call it a donut.

Why don't they just call it a ring?

I guess it's a potentially sensitive subject for some of us.

Hmm.

[Sighing]

I know you haven't taken Elliott seriously,

but this might be a good time to start.

Oh, please.

A donut is forming. What?

A donut

is forming.

Oh, Emily.

I think I'm going to be sick.

Ok. prenatal vitamins and valium.

Hmm? pregnant?

[Man coughing]

Yes.

Then you don't wanna take tranquillizers, honey.

I won't be taking both.

[Pills rattling]

Oh, "2 hours before procedure."

Tough decision.

Thank you. Excuse me.

Good luck!

[Woman announcing on intercom]

[Baby squealing]

[Laughing] oh, you big baby!

[Cooing]

(Woman) is that your bottle?

[Woman babbling]

[Sighing]

Well?

Decision is made.

Don't start.

I can't help it. Oh, Emily!

[Both laughing]

When are you gonna tell Elliott? Never.

Oh, Emily--

Kathy, if I'm not sure I'm ready for this, you can bet he isn't.

Well, that's not fair. You gotta ask him.

No. and if you don't, it gonna be a long pregnancy for me.

Lighten up.

Fasten your seat belts. Get ready for the-- what are you doing?

Why not? No!

Ok, I'm light. All right?

This is nuts.

Now, you still gotta tell Elliott. Kathy.

I can't help it if I get too involved.

What are you doing? Let's get going.

It'll take 20 minutes for that valium to kick in.

I'm not gonna be on the road with you. Wait till I tell Peter.

(Emily) don't tell Peter.

[Slurring] she's got to tell him.

She's got to tell him.

She can't not tell him he's the father, for heaven's sakes.

He's got to know.

It's his baby, too.

Fathers are very important.

[Groaning]

Yeah, Elliott's got to know.

Nice pill.

[Ringing]

Hello. yeah, you got him.

Yeah. is everything ok?

She didn't?

Uh, yeah, yeah.

15 minutes. I'll be there.

It's Kathy's car pool day.

She forgot to pick up the kids.

She's not at home.

Historically speaking, when a wife--

Joe, save it.

All right, sure.

♪[Kathy humming]

Ah.

[Doorbell ringing]

Why, who could that be?

Emily.

Kathy.

[Airlock seal opening]

[Baby crying] Emily, aren't you a sight for sore eyes?

You were right, Kath.

It's hell out there without a man.

Oh, there, there. Things have a way of working out.

Honey, do we have enough for company?

Hi, em!

Staying for dinner?

We were just discussing her problem.

Have you told Elliott?

I can't.

He couldn't handle it.

[Laughing]

But he's the father. He should know.

Elliott's got to know.

Elliott's got to know.

(Peter) Kathy.

Elliott's got to know.

What?

Honey, are you all right?

Peter! w-what time is it? Where are the kids?

I got the kids.

It's Tuesday. I got the kids, because you apparently wanted to sleep on the dryer?

Oh, I'm sorry. I took a valium...

What?

Wh-- you took valium?

You-- [exclaiming] Ice cream!

What does Elliott have to know?

Um,

I can't tell you. I--i promised Emily i wouldn't.

Are we all right?

Yes! oh, yes.

[Sighing]

Boy, "yes" isn't going to cut it much longer.

At first it seemed as though the tangential relationship

between the spheres of the y-axis

were going to overlap, and I will be going into that very shortly.

[Microphone humming]

I know what you're thinking.

No, you don't.

"Elliott's got to know."

I'm glad I confided in you.

Jeez. listen.

It was a dream.

And dreams don't mean anything.

Really? ok.

All right, here's a little physics for you, ok?

Remember Newton, huh? Curly hair, chubby.

[Clearing throat] "A body at rest stays at rest.

"A body in motion stays in motion,

unless acted upon by an outside force."

I think we both agree, Kathy is a body in motion.

What are you talking about? I'm talking about...

Here.

So?

So "x" equals Kathy.

This isn't Russian lit.

[Tires screeching]

[Car horn honking]

[Exhaling]

All right, first of all, if she's not home,

you check and see if her diaphragm's missing.

I can't believe we're doing this. Yeah, well.

I'm gonna sneak into my house,

I'm gonna creep down the hallway,

I'm gonna catch my wife folding my socks.

Of course you are. Don't forget to check behind the shower curtain.

That isn't where she folds socks.

[Joe laughing]

Oh! all right. All right. Quiet. Quiet. Ssh. Quiet.

She didn't say anything about going out.

They never do.

[Car engine starting]

Oh, I think you were right. She was alone. Well.

A woman's not going to go out in the middle of the day

on a cheap tryst to the bawdy motels

just 'cause you're at work and the kids are at school. You're fine.

[Car tires screeching]

What's that? What did you say? Nothing.

I thought you said something.

She's probably just going to safeway.

She probably is.

Isn't that safeway?

Bye-bye, safeway.

She's going to another store. Lighten up. I'm sure.

You make it sound like all she does is go shopping.

I make it sound like nothing.

Well, there's just more to her life than that. I'm certain there is.

It's not like her life is so empty

that she has to have a cheap torrid affair with a kid

just because he's young and sensitive with blue eyes.

Joe, you're losing her.

(Joe) no, I got her. I got her.

[Tires screeching]

Well, unless her aerobics class meets down here,

we're onto something.

[Joe laughing]

Hmm.

Bingo.

[Car tires screeching]

Look at the name! Look at the name!

Go! go!

[Exclaiming]

Looks like what we have here is a first time.

Uh-uh, I know Kathy. She's not going to go in.

Hmm.

Cheer up. He might be a bad lay.

Wow.

Yeah.

I've never been in an artist's studio before.

No? uh-uh.

Well, this is it.

Just, uh, go ahead. Do whatever you're--

oh, yeah, I'm-- uh, sure.

[Bus horn honking]

I--i could do this 1 of 2 ways:

I could feel you out, test the waters,

see how you might react to marrying Emily

and raising a family,

or skip all that and just blurt out

that Emily's pregnant and having your baby.

Or i--i could just mind my own business and not say a word.

[Siren wailing]

Wait! bye, Elliott!

Bye.

Nothing happened. It was only a couple minutes.

Unless, of course, he's a really bad lay.

[Laughing] see, huh?

Come on! You hungry?

[Crickets chirping]

[Phone ringing]

Hello.

Kathy? hi, it's Elliott.

Hi, Elliott.

♪[Music playing on walkman]

(Elliott) i gotta come over.

I gotta talk to you about the situation.

Um, this isn't really a good time for me to talk.

Um... no, don't leave me hanging.

I'm-- I'm-- I'm dying here.

Uh, how--how about tomorrow?

Fine. fine. Uh,

craters?

You know where that is, right?

Y-yeah.

1:00. great. Great. And you'll be there, right?

You won't drop another bomb and, uh, run out on me again?

Yeah, relax, I'll be there. Bye.

[Sighing]

Hey.

How's it going?

Um.

Well...

Johnson's mortuary is in the black this month.

[Chuckling] amazing.

(Kathy) yeah.

[Sighs]

[Clearing throat]

♪[Music playing on stereo] (Woman) You ok?

This is-- this is making me crazy.

I mean, what makes her think she's alone in this?

And she's out there somewhere right now in this city,

walking around with a piece of me inside her.

A-a-and I'm so angry, but--but I also want to protect her,

but--but I don't even know what from.

God, I'm-- I'm ok.

I don't know exactly what a father does,

as if she'd even let me.

She's so damn independent, but that's what I like!

So should I, uh...

Should I call her?

Should I tell her I know?

Should I be drinking?

I shouldn't have told you. No. She should have told me.

Well, maybe she didn't want to put you in this position.

But I am in this position

and

I don't know what to do about it.

Before you confront Emily about the baby,

you've got to find out what's there between you

without the baby.

(Carol) Elliott, she's busy, Elliott!

I know. I know.

[Phones ringing]

Emily? Carol, that'll be all. Thank you.

I'd like to talk about us.

I want to talk about you.

Um,

we had a good thing going.

No ties, no talk of the future from either of us,

and it was nice.

It, uh, it felt good.

No, em. We liked each other. Now suddenly, I'm out on my ass

because you decide on your own that it should be something else.

Well, fine, but on top of that,

you decide I can't handle this "something else."

So at this point, you're trying to tell me my limits.

Well, I'll tell you something, lady.

The only one whose limits we've proven are yours.

Elliott, when you reach my age--

oh, that's crap! Sit down!

You're not 95. Age has nothing to do with it.

If I was auditioning for something, you should have told me.

You should've given me that chance.

That's all.

All right.

Are you saying you want an audition?

You'd have to audition, too, you know.

That seems fair.

[Birds twittering]

(Maggie) what a perfectly glorious day!

[Maggie exclaiming]

(Maggie) hello. I'd like to welcome all of you

to the odd couples lamaze class.

I like to meet mothers in their second month of pregnancy,

so that we can talk about nutrition and prenatal care.

Then you can all go off and grow those babies

and come back to me in your 7th month

and then we can get down to the fun stuff.

[Maggie chuckling]

My name is Maggie sand. I'm a capricorn.

I have 4 children, ranging in age from 23 down to 2.

Each has a different father, and I've never been married.

[Giggling]

Don't laugh. That's me in 10 years.

So, let's all take turns and tell a little something about ourselves

and share the circumstances which have brought us here today.

How about you young people?

Hi. my name is Jill topial

and this is my brother, Alex.

He's going to be my coach.

Uh, I like parties on the beach, new kids on the block

and my favorite color is lemon yellow.

It's my science project, and if she's late with it,

I'm in deep shit.

You be sure to get back to us about that grade.

Quite simply, i am carrying the gift of life.

Mr. and Mrs. moyer were unable to have a child of their own,

and so Mr. moyer's seed has been deposited within me.

Mr. and Mrs. moyer,

you must be experiencing the most interesting feelings.

Would you care to share them with us?

Well-- no.

You go ahead.

Hi. I'm Debbie rollins

and this is my wife, Linda.

We just celebrated our 7th anniversary

and Debbie got a big promotion.

And we felt that having a baby was the next natural step.

I have such a good feeling about you two.

And our last couple.

Oh, w-we're just good friends.

My name is Emily. This is my best friend, Kathy, and...

I found myself pregnant, and I've always wanted a child, so...

Well, I'm getting one.

[Maggie laughing]

I was born on the cusp.

Hmm.

Uh-huh, ok.

Now, I want you all to write down everything you've eaten today.

Good nutrition begins with what I like to call

good food I.Q.

Does spelling count?

You don't belong here, em. You're not an odd couple.

Elliott should be with you.

I'm thinking about it.

You are? Did the two of you talk?

He did.

And I thought he had a lot of good points.

Oh, good. I'm so glad he came through.

What?

You told him.

E-Emily, you're going to need help.

Parenting is a 2-person job.

I know. I'm a mother. So am I!

No, you're not. Not yet.

(Emily) Kathy, get a life.

And stay out of mine!

God, you're like a disease.

You invade someone's life and you attach yourself.

That's what I am to you, a disease?

Well, thank you very much!

Go ahead! Cut the baby off from his father!

Well, I have news for you: I lied. It's not his baby.

What do you mean? What do you think I mean?

You're having my boyfriend's baby?

[Laughing] your boyfriend? He's not your anything.

You're not part of his life anymore.

He hasn't had a thought about you in ages!

[Exclaiming] you think that if I showed up on his doorstep right now,

he wouldn't get me into bed as fast as he did you?

If he was smart, he'd run!

No, he wouldn't!

I got a good feeling about you two.

Tom, there's something very serious that you have to know

and I'm the only one who will tell you.

A child has been conceived.

Not in love, perhaps.

But in passion.

Now, I understand that you were swept away,

but Emily needs you.

Maybe you haven't given her a second thought since your night together.

[Laughs]

In fact, I'm sure you haven't.

Call me invasive.

Call me disease-like.

I just thought that you deserved to know.

(Man) looking good.

[People chattering]

Carol, hi. Guess who?

Oh, hi, Elliott.

No. Emily's not here.

Is she going to Denver? Do you know?

[Inaudible]

Gee, Elliott, i really can't say for sure.

It's pretty confused around here.

Ok. bye, Elliott.

Excuse me. This is for you.

Thank you. Mmm-hmm.

"There is someone else."

"You're not the father."

[Laughing]

What?

Nothing, Kathy's visiting her mother in Chicago, I'm sure.

Come on, Joe, there are good marriages, you know.

I know. I had 3 of them.

[Joe chuckling]

Old town, please. The number for Elliott Fowler.

Thank you.

I'm just checking.

Checking is good.

Uh, message.

Elliott's in Denver for a show.

He's staying at the Hyatt.

Hmm, nice place.

What airline is Kathy taking?

I am not gonna dignify that with an answer.

Pan-pacific. (joe) thank you.

Pan-pacific flies to Denver, don't they?

I'm just saying. I saw it in a commercial, that's all.

All right. I'll clear this up for you.

[Beeping]

[Modem dialing]

[Modem crackling]

Doing a little hacking in your spare time?

Go. go. Go.

And the password is...

Ta-da.

Pan-pacific airlines, passenger manifest.

(Joe) very good.

(Peter) let's see. We'll search

for passenger

whiting.

All right, "whiting, Mrs." that's a good sign.

(Peter) all right, flight 305, Portland to...

Portland to Denver.

[Laughing]

[Birds chirping]

So when you told me it was me, you thought it was me.

Mmm-hmm. because Emily was protecting your feelings.

Yes.

Which means your boyfriend is the father of my girlfriend's baby.

Uh,

if you want to boil it down to one sentence, yes.

[Cars honking]

You must be just a little bit relieved.

Relieved that Emily got knocked up by another man?

No, I would not say i was relieved.

I'm sorry, your room won't be ready until 4:00.

Oh, uh,

e-Elliott, can you park my bag?

Sure. oh, great.

Sure. thanks. thanks. Bye.

Thank you.

(Kathy) "gone fishing."

Bullhead catfish?

[People chattering]

They're twins!

[Men clamoring]

(Man) hey, who's that, Tommy?

This one's Carol.

Uh, sir, uh?

[Whistling]

[Birds twittering]

[Kathy grunting] Damn.

(Man) let me give you a hand.

[Grumbling] I'll have this for you in a second.

No problem, darling.

Hmm.

Thank you.

[Man chuckling]

Anytime.

Thank you.

(Tom) what a beauty,

but not good enough, I'm afraid.

Oh, now this one...

This one is truly pathetic.

[Exclaiming] mean mouth on this girl.

Who's that, Tommy?

Who is it? Chrissy!

[Men screaming]

(Man) Chrissy!

What you got there, bootsie?

Just a fish.

[All exclaiming] That's no fish!

Look at this thing. That's a mack truck.

[Men applauding]

(Tom) i need a hand with this one.

Well, boys, I think we got a winner at 24 pounds.

[Men whooping]

I christen you...

Go ahead, bootsie. You take it.

Lola?

Lola!

Lola! right!

[Men whistling] Lola. Ok, Lola's the winner.

Give him a big hand, huh?

[Men cheering]

Kathy?

Tommy.

Uh, ok, guys.

I'm gonna get out of here because, um, you stink.

[Men laughing]

(Man) thanks, Tom.

See you next year, Tom.

Kathy.

Hey.

[Men whistling]

It's so good to see you! What are you doing here?

What, are you kidding?

Me, miss a big moosehead cat thing?

[Men cheering]

So...

Are you divorced?

No.

Widowed?

No.

So I guess this is just a friendly call.

Are you going to go to the reunion?

Here, let me get this.

The reunion.

Well, I'll tell you...

The only person i wanted to see was you,

and you're right here.

I sure am.

Yeah.

You know, of all the places I've imagined running into you again,

that dock sure wasn't one of them.

You've imagined me places?

Oh, yeah.

Haven't you ever wondered about me like that?

No. no?

[Laughing]

Ok.

Well, I have.

And if I would've known you would've turned out like this,

I would have imagined it a lot more often.

What do you mean, "like this"?

I always thought you were the prettiest girl in school.

And now look at you.

Just take a look at yourself.

You're such...

You're such a woman.

You have this assurance about you, and this...

I don't know, this sleekness.

Don't get me started here.

No. no, no, no. Go on.

Well, let's just say that I'm regretting all that restraint I used

in high school.

Tell me about it.

Yeah. ok.

So,

am I going to take you out to dinner with fish gunk on me,

or without?

Without.

[Clearing throat]

I'm glad you're...

Peter?

Where is she?

Uh...

What do you know about it?

I know.

I know a lot more than you think I know.

Did you know she's pregnant?

What? mmm-hmm.

And it's not even mine.

Ah, Peter, if you were me, would you still want her?

'Cause I can't help it.

[Grunting]

[Groaning]

What the hell do you care?

She's my wife!

Kathy? I'm not talking about Kathy!

What about this? Huh?

I'm simply storing it for her, Peter.

What do you think, I'm an idiot?

No, wait. Hold on. Just chill, all right?

Now, your wife is here to look up an old high-school boyfriend, uh, Tom.

Tom? Tom, Tom...

Tom Andrews.

Tom Andrews. Ok? So just chill.

Ok.

Ok.

Andrews, huh?

We'll see.

All right.

What a nightmare.

All right. Uh-huh.

"Andrews, Tom."

[Dialing]

[Hair dryer whirring]

[Phone ringing]

Hey, Kath. Get that, will you?

Hello.

Bye.

I'm really sorry.

[Elevator bell dings]

Uh-huh, Fowler. I need ice badly.

[Knocking on door]

Big bucket. Thank you.

Elliott. just tell me one thing.

Who are you here to see? Me? What do you mean?

Tom Andrews. What?

Peter, Kathy... Just tell me.

Is Kathy in Denver?

Yes. she's with Tom.

Peter went off to find her. He hit me in the face.

(Elliott) now, you and I, we're going to talk, em.

Kathy's with Tom?

[Clapping] bingo.

Now, I am through being an idiot.

You know, listening to other people.

You and I will...

[Sighing]

[Crickets chirping]

Hmm, there's nothing like a fire, is there?

You look especially good by firelight.

Well, gosh, it's too bad it'll go to waste,

since we'll be, uh, going out in a few minutes for dinner.

Well, why don't we order in?

You'll find some menus on the butcher block.

[Stuttering]

[Moaning]

How about thai?

[Gasping]

All right. How about Italian?

[Laughs]

There's an extra $20 if you get me there before her husband.

[Tires screeching]

Uh,

what's the problem here?

There's more than one "elm," son.

[Crickets chirruping]

(Tom) so, the idea here is to relax.

Just let me work the pressure points.

Just pretend your hand is your body.

That's it.

I remember your hands, Kathy.

I remember your skin,

and your shoulders,

(Tom) your neck,

your lips...

I want you, Kathy.

Emily's having your baby.

Excuse me?

You're going to be a father.

Well, I knew you'd want to know.

And you wouldn't want a child of yours born

and not know about it.

No, actually, that's always been a dream of mine.

[Dog howling]

[Sighing]

Did Emily send you here to tell me this?

No, no. No, she's gonna kill me when she finds out.

Well, she doesn't have to find out.

We'll just say that you never came here.

That way, she won't know you betrayed her trust

and I won't have to get involved with her and some kid.

Oh, you can't mean that.

If Emily wanted me to know, she'd have told me herself.

I think the fact that she isn't here should tell us

[doorbell ringing] Both something.

[Exhaling]

Hey! babe. Hey! Yourself.

[Sighing] Kathy.

Is there a back way out?

What are you doing here?

What am I doing here? What am I doing here?

[Exclaiming] hey, why don't we sit down and talk about this quietly?

Because her husband is gonna walk through that door at any second!

Oh, shit. Peter?

Good for you. Now, where's the back way?

There isn't one.

We'll just have to wing it.

All right. Uh...

We'll tell him that you came to tell Tom he's the father of my baby.

That's why I did come here!

Oh, right. Not looking like that, you didn't.

No, really. I just told him!

It's the 11th hour. Cut the crap.

Uh...

Give me your dress.

Hmm. turn around.

Why are you doing this for me?

And don't tell me it's because you love me and forgive me

because I couldn't bear the guilt.

(Kathy) so don't tell me that that is the reason.

It's because I love you and I forgive you.

[Groans]

You deserved that.

[Laughing] holy mother!

We'll laugh about this when we're 90.

[Both laughing]

Uh-huh.

Oh, god. Elliott.

And you thought i wasn't ready for a relationship.

How many more guys you got out there?

Excuse me?

Boy, I tell you, women...

Sometimes I just don't understand them.

She breezes into my life for one lousy night,

now I'm in a paternity suit.

You slept with this guy?

I made her.

Hey, hey, pal. You want her? Take her.

Just a one-night stand to me, that's all.

[Sniffing]

Hey, you better--

[women shrieking]

[Groaning]

Oh, you're hurt. It's all my fault.

You sure are a jerk.

[Kathy grunting]

[Door slamming]

Is this your mother's house?

Is this your mother?

How's your sciatica?

Peter! Peter, Kathy was just here to tell Tom that I'm having a baby.

Out. but it's not Tom's baby. It's Elliott's.

Yeah! it is?

It is?

Hey, out!

Kathy. could you leave us alone?

Hey, buddy, this is my house.

This is my wife.

Yeah.

[Door squeaking]

[Door slamming]

[Dog barking]

You lied to me.

I know.

Nothing happened.

Nothing happened?

Well, define "nothing"

because it seems to me that a lot has happened here.

I'm trying really hard to be objective, so I want to know all of it.

Why are you really here?

Tommy's an old friend of mine from high school.

He's an old boyfriend.

[Sighing]

Yeah.

I missed that feeling.

Feeling?

You missed, uh, you missed that feeling.

Yeah, you know, the--the rush that you get when you're 16?

Honey, we aren't 16.

I know.

I know.

It's just that--that you feel special.

I just wanted to feel like, uh...

Like a hot babe.

Now, that's a problem, because you're saying

that I don't make you feel that way.

Oh, Peter, no. See--see, you're my husband

and you love me and I love you, and--

what?

I love you.

But what?

It's not about you. It's not even about him. It's...

You see, I was making myself miserable.

I--i wasn't even that miserable, really.

I was-- I was kind of happy,

in a miserable kind of way and...

Is that worse than being miserable in a happy kind of way?

No. it's-- it's better.

Because you kind of enjoy your misery.

I'm glad somebody did.

Peter, I'm sorry.

What else can I say?

It's that...

Misery, I know something about that.

♪ See, misery takes you down

♪[imitating blues riff]

♪ Drags you all around

♪[imitating blues riff]

♪ Takes you all over town

♪[imitating blues riff]

♪ Till you've lost what you found ♪

♪[imitating blues riff]

Well, you-- you got it to rhyme.

Come here.

I want to rock you, mamma, like your body ain't got no bones.

Let's blow this place.

Hey, you know, we got a good thing here.

I know we do.

No. the sitter, at home. Yeah?

[Door slamming]

[Dog barking] I don't know,

it's set for overnight.

[Exclaiming] and I got a hotel room.

[Exclaiming] you be bad, girl.

Well, all the cards are on the table.

I don't want you to feel obligated. I just want a straight answer:

Do you want to be together?

[Sighing] how can she ask me that?

Things are gonna change.

You're infatuated with a woman who's sophisticated, out there on the edge.

But-- you're not out on the edge.

Yes, I am.

No, you're not.

Actually, you can be kind of a drag at times.

Then you can't possibly want me.

Straight answer?

Yes.

Yes.

Watch the face.

[Exclaiming]

[Giggling] it doesn't hurt.

♪[Peter playing harmonica]

Honey, we're trying to plan a wedding up here!

Ok!

[Door closing]

♪[Big bad love by Diana Ross and ray Charles playing]

(Ray) ♪ your lips say, come and kiss me ♪

♪ and they haven't made a sound ♪

♪ your hips say, come on with me ♪

♪ you're just talking around ♪

(Diana) ♪ my heart beats like thunder ♪

♪ every time you come into view ♪

♪ this thing is bigger than both of us ♪

♪ I know you know it, too ♪

♪ we've got a big, big, big ♪

♪ bad love

(chorus) ♪ bad love

♪ well, well, we fit like a hand in a glove ♪

♪ we got a big, big, big, bad love ♪

(Chorus) ♪ big, bad love

♪ anything you want or need ♪

♪ you can have all that and more ♪

♪ my time, my love, my credit card ♪

♪ I'll even drive you to the store ♪

♪ ooh, I've got a list of things to do, baby ♪

♪ and it's very short and sweet ♪

♪ talk to me

♪ I'll begin at the beginning ♪

♪ and I'll end up at your feet ♪

♪ all right

♪ we've got a big, big, big ♪

♪ bad love

(chorus) ♪ bad love

(both) ♪ yeah, we fit like a hand in a glove ♪

♪ we've got a big, big, big, bad love ♪

(Chorus) ♪ big, bad love

♪ whoo

♪ I'll tell you

[ray laughing]

♪ Give it up, baby

(chorus) ♪ oh, yeah

♪ in the morning, when I wake up ♪

♪ I can't believe my luck ♪

♪ I take you like a vitamin pill ♪

♪ and you drive me like a truck, babe ♪

♪ I don't care where you go, baby ♪

♪ don't care what you do ♪

♪ just as long as you take me there ♪

♪ yeah, baby

♪ and let me do it with you ♪ ♪ me and you

♪ we've got a big, big, big ♪

♪ bad love

(chorus) ♪ big, bad love

♪ yeah, we got a big, big, big love ♪

♪ we got a big, big, big, bad love ♪

(Chorus) ♪ big, bad love

♪ baby, let tell me now ♪

(Both) ♪ we fit like a hand in a glove ♪

♪ we got a big, big, big, bad love ♪

(Chorus) ♪ big, bad love

♪ bad love

(chorus) ♪ big bad love

♪ oh, baby

(chorus) ♪ big, bad love

♪ we got love

(chorus) ♪ big, bad love

♪ we got a big, bad love, baby ♪

(Diana) you say that to all the girls, ray.

[Ray laughing]