Original subtitles

That should do it.

I don't see why this is necessary.

You're about to enter

a hornet's nest of insanity.

I'm your bug repellant.

You done? It's go time.

Thank you for being my wingers.

He means wingmen.

I'll be at a safe distance,

analyzing the lovely gals you're about to sit down with.

Cabe, you be one position in front of Walter

so you can do recon.

Recon? I wanted to try dating,

not engage in a military operation.

For a humanoid like you, it's gonna take

precision coordination, like D-Day.

Why do you smell

like a martini bar in 1950?

It's my cologne.

I wear it every day.

If you wore that every day, I'd need my sinuses scraped.

You're gonna dip your toe into this dating pool,

aren't you?

Speed daters,

take your seats.

You'll find your preassigned numbers on the tables.

Hey there.

I think you're looking

for our sunset circle

with our other second-chancers.

Okay!

Who is ready to connect?

So you have eight balls of the same size,

seven weigh the same,

one weighs slightly more.

How do you find the one that is heavier

by using a balance and only two weighings?

What?

What's your ideal number of cats?

Zero.

Walter, you're displaying intense disinterest.

Try a compliment.

Your features are quite rodentiform.

That's a lovely brooch.

Thank you.

I got it ten percent off through AARP.

Aren't their discounts wonderful?

How the hell would I know?

And then I told the prime minister,

no bangers and mash for you, eh, govnuh?

Bugger off, ya old bloke.

See?

I'm really good at accents.

We're not a good match.

Cheerio.

I feel like Jane Goodall,

but with less socially-adjusted subjects.

One Singapore sling.

This should help him.

Thanks, buddy.

29 vitamins, amino acids

and cod liver oil.

This is what I get for trying to help Walter date--

influenza.

Are you cool with this? Oh, yeah. We had our flu shots.

No. When O'Brien said he was branching out socially,

you kind of thought it would be with you, right?

I didn't think that at all. We both made a decision

not to see one another, and if he wants to torture himself

by speed-dating lunatics, he can be my guest.

As long as you're cool with it.

Good morning...

all.

What's wrong with you?

I caught the cooties watching you and Groovy Grandpa

fumble with the ladies.

Well, I feel that speed dating was an unqualified success.

It taught me that

average speed daters are not able to handle honesty.

They all hated you.

I will not be wasting my time doing it again.

I will pursue other avenues to hone my social skills.

In social situations, there is a fine line

between honesty and insult.

Well, I-I don't see it.

You're 100% wrong.

Yes. Clearly you do not see it.

Cabe?

Yeah, I'm looking

right at him. Okay.

See you soon.

Why did he ask if I was here?

I did not ask.

But why single me out?

I mean, there-there are five of us.

You can ask him yourself

in ten seconds. He was parking the car.

Oh. Okay.

Is he mad or something?

Gather round.

It's briefing time.

Homeland considers this a top priority,

so I ask that you keep an open mind.

I will. My mind is so open, in fact, a lot of...

bad thoughts are coming in. So, uh,

could you tell me why you singled me out in particular?

It's in the folder, kid.

You okay, buddy?

130.

Your pulse is racing like you just finished a marathon.

I cannot do this mission.

What's going on?

Everyone, say hello to Ken.

Retired colonel, Aachen Army Base.

He is an expert

in unconventional weapons of mass destruction.

He so happens to be Sylvester's father.

Hello, sir.

Ken has given speeches

to NATO, the Joint Chiefs,

and the UN Security Council.

He believes that a weapon thought impossible to construct

not only exists but it's currently being tested

by an unfriendly nation.

The Pentagon has asked for us to work with him on this matter.

Ken, the floor is yours.

During the Second World War...

Um, Colonel, before we jump in,

do, uh, you and Sylvester want to take a few minutes

to, uh, catch up?

I know it's been a while.

Nine years, three months, two days.

We're fine.

As I was saying, during the Second World War,

the Axis powers were looking for an advantage over the Allies,

no matter where it came from.

Even if it came from the heavens.

You're looking at the Sun Gun, one of

their more ambitious projects.

Based on archives recovered during the war,

we believe that their plan was to build a space station

8,200 kilometers above the Earth.

Reflectors made of metallic sodium

would be attached to the satellite

to create a concave mirror the size of ten football fields.

Something that big could reflect concentrated sunlight

on a precise point on the Earth.

Like an entire city.

Instantaneous combustion-- everything gone in a second.

This is real or-or theoretical?

Theoretical-- he's been looking for it since I was six.

Until yesterday.

This was captured on a dash cam.

That does look

like a highly concentrated beam of solar energy.

Or a bolt of lightning or a charged particle,

like from the Northern Lights.

Where was this shot?

The nation of Bahari, a North African country

run by President Desta Rahal.

That video shows a solar beam

very close to being fully perfected and weaponized.

That video might show something.

It's highly speculative. Rahal came

into power via military coup.

He craves international acceptance.

His people crave food and freedom.

How does President Cuckoo put together a weapon like this?

The Germans occupied Bahari during the war.

They left behind a lot of buried bunkers.

Rahal could have found

some of the prototypes 70 years later.

And if that's the case,

we need to locate and destroy the Sun Gun

before Rahal has a chance to perfect it.

And the problem is is Bahari is 200,000 square miles,

and Homeland doesn't have the tech to track down this weapon.

That's where Scorpion comes in.

Okay. So you want us to look for something

that reflects heat in the middle of the African desert?

It's like looking for a drop of water in the ocean.

Except for the flare on the video is brief

and concentrated. Likely a system test. So,

equally likely that the reflective panels

would've been stored away after the test.

And the panels, having absorbed the concentrated solar energy,

primarily hydrogen and helium,

would still carry the residue of the elements

on a molecular level.

We can build a helium mass spectrometer and merge it

with a pyranometer.

Someone want to clarify?

Our device would look for the residue

of the concentrated solar energy.

- It's like looking for ashes after a fire. - Great.

So how do we sneak into a dictator's country

and abscond his death ray?

You're not going anywhere, sicko.

Uh, then I'll stay home, and I-I will take care of Toby.

No, you're coming to run

the software for the devices that we build.

Homeland has advised Rahal

that we are aware of the strong energy readings

coming from the Bahari Desert.

His regime is subject

to spot inspections.

He's been advised

that a multidisciplinary team of geniuses

will be visiting to ensure that those readings

are not chemical or atomic.

Plane leaves soon. Better start packing.

Okay. Walter?

Yes. I can't go.

Being around a dictator

isn't how I would like to spend my weekend either.

It's not the dictator from Bahari I'm worried about.

It's the one from Rancho Cucamonga.

Better hit the head before we leave, Sylvester.

Once we're on the road, I'm not stopping for anything.

Just like old times.

♪ Scorpion 2x14 ♪ Sun of a Gun Original Air Date on January 18, 2016

== sync, corrected by elderman == @elder_man

Oh, my God. This is awful.

Move! Move! Move!

Double-reinforced steel gate, remote operational.

This guy's security's no joke.

His people starve, he lives like a king.

Well, I'm not a fan either, but let's keep that to ourselves.

Rahal's known to fly off the handle

at the smallest perceived slight.

Welcome, Team Scorpion,

to my humble country. Mr. President.

I'm Cabe Gallo, U.S. Homeland Security.

This is Retired Colonel Kenneth Dodd.

As per international agreement,

you are free to survey without restriction.

But I assure you,

all you will find is a nation desperate to grow

and become part of the first world.

Feeding your people might be a start.

Mr. President, the Western allies

are just curious about the energy flare

that was captured over your desert recently.

A kilowatt overload

caused an energy arc in one of our solar turbines.

It brought down that building over there.

Could be legit.

I told you before, there's no such thing as a Sun Gun.

My father is obsessed with a fairy tale.

And as a celebration

of your visit, tonight

I will host a reception in your honor.

For now, we'd just like to drop our stuff in our room

and get started.

Then let it be so.

Come. Your rooms.

What's the matter, you hot or something?

What, I'm not allowed to be hot in Africa?

Okay, room's clean.

No one eavesdropping.

All right, let's get to work.

Toby, you got eyes on us?

I have sat photos of the compound

refreshing every 20 seconds

and I have control of the cameras.

All right, let us know when his goons get close.

I want to have a look inside that burned facility.

The Sun Gun would be a volatile piece of equipment.

So that solar panel story of his might just be a cover

for what really set that blaze.

And if there's enough, uh,

metallic sodium reflectors

for a weapons-grade mirror, it won't fit into a tool shed.

We need to check the biggest buildings first.

Now, Cabe, Happy and I will check out the burned building

while Sly, Paige and Ken will investigate the hangar

that we passed on the way in.

There's a guard station 50 yards from the hangar.

Step light in there.

Actually, Walt, I'll go with you

and then Happy can go with my dad.

No, we need someone

with software expertise on each team.

Yeah?

Good afternoon.

President Rahal requests the company of Walter O'Brien.

Actually, we're about to get to work.

Perhaps they could talk at the dinner?

President Rahal anticipated

this response and he stated that

he wouldn't request this

unless it were quite urgent.

He said he was certain you'd understand.

Happy, I'm assuming that you can

handle the Geiger counters?

Okay.

I'll catch you later.

Yeah.

Walter,

be a beta dog with Rahal.

Remember, he's the kind of guy

who gets stabby when offended.

Is this beef barley?

How'd you know my favorite soup?

Eat it. You look awful.

Mr., uh, Mr. President?

Ah, Walter, Walter.

Please, come in.

I'm sorry to take you away from your work,

but, uh, I thought it important we speak.

We are similar men.

Both leaders, both geniuses.

Although your IQ may only be 197 to my 203.

203? Really?

Let it go, Walt. On this date, honesty could get you killed.

That is... that's a very impressive score.

As a fellow genius, I respect you.

And I know why you are here.

You're after something.

A challenge.

Eh? I know all about your work,

from saving that boy on the beach

to designing that smart building.

That is why I want to offer you a job as my chief of technology.

Seven figures a year to start.

But first, a sign of friendship.

Come.

What...

A delicacy from your native Ireland.

Boiled potatoes and whiskey.

Okay, I'm getting nothing here--

no helium residue.

Maybe Sly's right-- maybe the Sun Gun's just a legend.

Possibly.

But this doesn't mean concentrated solar energy

didn't take this building apart.

Just that the metallic sodium panels aren't here.

If you were gonna blast a building with a solar weapon,

how would you fire at it? From what kind of angle?

Where are you going with this?

A hundred yards up there... there's an aerostat.

Now, why would a country without and air force need a blimp

used for radar detection?

To get a solar weapon high enough up in the air

to do a test run.

You float the prototype Sun Gun up in the air,

you test it,

you accidentally destroy one of your own buildings.

Only question is...

Where the hell's the Sun Gun?

Took the words out of my mouth.

I am no expert, but I live in L.A. and I do know what

a ton of solar panels look like, and maybe

El Presidente was telling the truth.

Turn that thing on.

It is on. There's no readings

because there's no helium because there's no Sun Gun.

There's 40 yards of supposed

solar panels in here-- we're gonna check

every one of 'em with that gizmo.

This is a waste of time.

It has always been a waste of time.

You don't understand.

No, I don't understand why your first priority

was always chasing these archaic weapons

that are as real as unicorns.

Um, fellas, fellas, maybe we should

just save this argument for another time.

I'm with Paige.

There's guards sniffing around not too far from the hangar,

and if you think you're gonna search that whole place

before they get to you, you're mistaken.

Fine. I can put this whole thing to bed in a matter of seconds.

Great, what's that-- another toy for Mr. Fun Man?

Super Fun Guy.

And no, it's a way to prove you wrong.

Give me your lighter.

If there are metallic sodium reflectors

in this room, then any source of natural light

would be bounced back 1,000 times its concentration,

so be very careful.

All right.

Now aim at a different row of solar panels.

Now throw.

I told you! I knew it was real, I knew it!

No way.

Stay here and look out for the guards. Come on.

Oh!

Sylvester, look at this. This panel is just

a colored glass facade to cover up

the metallic sodium panel underneath.

He hid weaponized panels right in plain sight.

Oh, it's genius. He knows his country's

crawling with inspectors.

If Sun Gun components are found he's dead,

so he puts them right under everyone's noses.

These are old welding marks

around the corners of these panels.

Rahal must've found

these three prototypes in an old German bunker

and now he's trying them out for the purpose of duplication.

Then break these things and let's get out of here.

Not an option. Toby says the guards are right outside.

This alloy is strong as hell.

Breaking these things will make noise.

Noise gets us caught.

Leave the solar panels, once you're stateside,

have the air force make a special delivery.

No, no, no, we can't do that. If we do that,

we'll just be destroying the very evidence that we need

to unseat and prosecute Rahal.

Plus the evidence to show everybody back home

that you were right?

That does not play into my decision.

We can't just smuggle these panels out of the country.

Why not? 'Cause Rahal's men--

they're going to check our bags

and then he'll have us killed.

Nah. May have a way

around the whole “getting killed” thing.

I know what everybody thinks of me.

I'm a madman,

warlord, murderer.

Well, you know, “everyone” would be statistically improbable.

Ah, you see.

Now, you get me.

But I am merely trying to save my people.

That is why I need your help.

I need you to build me a rocket.

You've done it before, huh?

Chew on that while I get some cigars.

So you're looking at air currents moving southwest

at 90 kilometers per hour.

Got it. Happy, what are the approximate dimensions

of the aerostat? Uh, length 100, diameter 20.

I still don't understand how this works.

Okay, the aerostat's 200 yards away.

We put the Sun Gun panels in it,

send it off, and Rahal is now decades

behind schedule if he wants to make new ones.

Remember, he didn't build these, he found them.

The Sun Gun could land anywhere.

Which is why I am running the numbers to predict

the exact time and location so the aerostat

crashes in the Mediterranean.

Where the Navy SEALs will pick it up in a watertight bag.

Now, if your calculations are off, you could be delivering

a WMD to a neighboring regime that is not

on Washington's Christmas list.

Trust me, I've got this.

Just in case you don't,

I want a photo record of this technology,

because if we lose it forever,

I want proof of what Rahal was trying to build.

I got a more practical concern--

how are we gonna get to the aerostat

without Rahal's men noticing?

Hey, Walt,

you need to get the guards to move away

from the northeast corner of the compound.

What are you thinking?

Huh? That a space program tells the world,

“Look at Bahari.

Look what it can achieve.”

So what do you say?

I say... I say s-someone

just jumped your southwest

security wall. No one is there.

I will get my security to check the video...

Ah! I'm messing with

your system, emperor nutbar.

I will be back shortly.

My apologies. Sure.

Should give you ten minutes.

Happy, what's this? A small blimp.

You said it was 100 by 20.

Yeah, it's 100 feet by 20 feet.

I thought you meant meters.

This country runs on the metric system. Why didn't you convert?

I'm American.

Oh, boy. Well, my calculations are off.

The drop point is gonna be off by several miles.

If you're off that much over the Mediterranean,

the SEALs are never gonna find this thing.

Another problem-- look.

Oh, Walter's distraction is timing out.

Toby, check Doppler radar and tell me

when the prevailing winds are hitting exactly northeast,

12.7 degrees. I'm not gonna remind you

that if the guards see you with that thing,

they'll shoot you on sight. Toby!

Northeast winds, but only five degrees.

Uh, truck's coming close.

Northeast, ten degrees.

Hold it! Let it go, Sylvester!

Two degrees could mean 200 miles.

12 degrees. Listen to me, OCD perfectionist,

let the damn thing go.

Truck's coming around the bend.

- Hold it! - 1.7 degrees.

Now!

It'll get to where it needs to go.

We figured it out.

Yeah.

If your calculations were right the first time,

we wouldn't have almost gotten ourselves killed.

We weren't able to apprehend the man

you saw earlier, but we have doubled security.

Well, I'm happy to have helped.

You know, I'm a benevolent leader,

but there are still those resistant to prosperity.

Forcing me to take precautions.

Armed guards, bullet-proof windows.

And you already saw the gate you had to come through,

which I have to recode twice a day.

Using the, uh, smart watch?

Only my guards and I know the code.

You know, it's, uh...

...it's hard to know who to trust.

But I trust you.

That is why I want you to head up our space program.

Come. Come, Walter.

Look at the plans for my rocket.

That was Homeland. The Navy SEALs are just a few hours out

from meeting up with the aerostat.

We're almost in the clear.

Thank God.

I'm about ready for this day to be over.

Stop packing.

We can't leave.

Why not? The panels are on a one-way trip to SEAL Team Six.

Right, but those are only the panels that we've found.

There is a good chance that he has a way

to mass-produce metallic sodium panels.

He may already have the ability

to make a fully-functional Sun Gun.

Explain your thinking.

He showed me the blueprints for a rocket that he wants built

with a load-bearing capacity of at least six tons.

That's about right for a satellite

bearing a full-sized Sun Gun mirror.

Well, just 'cause he wants a rocket to send a weapon

into space doesn't necessarily mean he has a weapon.

Yeah, I'm sorry, Paige, but it's human nature.

You don't build a turnip truck unless you already have turnips.

So he's got a weapon that could burn entire cities off the map.

We can't leave until we find his store of panels

and take them out.

The adventure continues.

Wonderful.

So how do we find this doomsday weapon factory?

Nothing on the satellite suggests a manufacturing plant,

and there's no plans for one in his entire system.

Oh, well, it is here and I know it.

Can't we use those things?

Uh, no.

They only work on panels that have

already been exposed to solar energy.

Rahal's stockpile

hasn't been used yet.

He'd, uh, keep it safe

until he's ready to blast it into space

with the rocket he wants Walt to build.

What you just said makes sense.

Everything I say makes sense.

No, about Rahal keeping his stockpile safe.

He can't risk such a large quantity

of panels being exposed to sunlight.

A reaction like that would do more than

just blow up a building.

It would blow up the entire compound and then some.

He'd keep it underground, away from the sunlight.

There's dozens of buildings on this compound.

That factory could be underneath any one of them.

It would be impossible to search all those buildings

without Rahal noticing us.

Well, then it's up to you, Walter.

How?

Rahal's smitten by your intellect,

so I suggest you dangle your great big brain in front of him

and get some info.

The man is a megalomanical dictator.

No excuses, Walt.

Go see your new buddy and shake your moneymaker.

Oh, I'm...

I'm glad you want to discuss my offer of employment.

Well, it sounds intriguing.

Perhaps we can, uh, look at the blueprints again in your office?

Nonsense.

I do my best thinking in here. Come.

Remember, Walt,

you want something from this guy,

but you can't let him know.

This isn't like speed-dating.

You have to play it cool.

So that rocket

of yours looks like it could carry a pretty heavy payload.

Walter, what are you doing? Slow your roll.

Well...

the plans are still very rudimentary,

but I'm sure you will make it

out of this world.

Get it, Walter? “Out of this world”"

Sit back, relax.

You planning on taking some research satellites?

You're trying to eat dessert

when they just served salad.

Don't you know how to romance someone?

No, he does not.

You got to butter this guy up,

play to his ego-- then he'll open up.

This is my favorite cartoon.

You are the best sitter

since Mrs. Clatterman gave me pudding for dinner.

He's the coyote with a business card.

He thinks he's a genius.

I'm flattered by...

the offer to work for a... an intellect such as yours.

Okay. I accept your offer.

Let's do it.

Fantastic!

You will have the finest equipment from Germany.

During the day you will build, and at night,

cool off in our Olympic-size pool.

Walter...

...this is going to be the beginning of a winning partnership.

Yeah.

Walter!

Ha-ha-ha! Okay.

I cannot believe

that flattery and dishonesty

actually worked. How? We've got nothing.

Did you hear him?

An Olympic-size pool in the middle of the desert

where the average temperatures are over 120 degrees.

Which causes severe evaporation.

Okay, they'd need

an auto-refill system,

which demands major plumbing infrastructure.

Which is exactly what you'd need if you're cooling

newly manufactured metallic sodium panels.

There's a pretty big pump room near the pool.

Safe bet they're making Sun Gun panels underneath it.

Great, but how do we knock it out of commission without them detecting us?

We walk like Egyptians.

Okay, ancient Egyptians used to make mortar

from water, sand and limestone.

The sand will be on the other side of the basement walls,

and we already know the pump room will have water pipes.

We'll fill it up and turn the whole room

into a big block of stone.

Where do we get the lime?

Rahal's office.

He has a large aquarium--

that needs lime to regulate its pH levels.

Happy, Paige and I will get that while Sly, Cabe

and Ken get things ready down in the pump room.

What about the guards?

There's no guard.

That makes sense-- if you don't want people to think

you have something valuable, don't post thugs outside.

Doesn't mean there won't be a security system.

Then we better hurry, because that dinner party starts

in less than an hour-- if we're not there,

those men are gonna come looking for us.

♪ ♪

Toby, kill the surveillance.

On it.

Mr. President?

You know, I-I just wanted to thank you again

for the opportunity to...

He's not here.

Fish food...

books on fish...

photos of fish-- this guy loves fish.

What do you mean we were sent the wrong wine?!

Not good.

There it is.

That must be the way to the basement.

You really think they're gonna leave the door

to the secret factory unlocked?

Problem solvers start sentences off with “How about.”

Yeah, and “What if.” I remember.

Well, what if you stop pointing out all the obstacles

and start coming up with some solutions, hotshot?

Kids.

I'm military, too-- but these guys,

guys like your son, they respond better

to the velvet glove than they do the iron fist.

I got it.

If they are manufacturing

metallic sodium plates under here,

then they need to vent chlorine gas.

It's a byproduct of production.

So one of these supposed pool pump tanks

must have a release valve for the gas.

This is it. Uh, when chlorine gas

meets oxygen, you get corrosion.

You're gonna need a hose.

You actually understand what these guys are thinking?

About half-- and the rest I take on faith.

Hey, guys, I've seen what chlorine gas can do

on the battlefield-- it's not pr...

Cabe.

My water fan, please?

What are you doing?

When water and chlorine gas mix,

it makes hydrochloric acid,

which will eat through the lock.

This should do it.

What is wrong with you people!

Uh, what the hell is this?

Who has been near my fish?

And who is responsible for this wine mishap?

I assure you, sir,

I'll rectify it. Make sure you do.

I'm trying to impress these stupid Americans.

I will hold you personally responsible

if things are not perfect.

Yes, sir.

Idiots!

Here comes the sand for your mortar.

There's got to be hundreds of panels in here.

- 236, to be precise. - There's enough panels in here

to make a Sun Gun twice the size we thought.

Well, they didn't make these-- this is

the city seal of Hamburg.

We are standing in an abandoned German lab.

So Rahal not only found those few panels

we discovered in the hangar, but he found all this old equipment,

got it running again. Yeah, well, we're gonna shut it down.

We're gonna drown this place up in mortar,

make these machines nonoperational.

Yeah, that'll kill his weapons program.

This machinery has zero update; they have no plans.

Heads up! Lime incoming!

Hey, Walt and Paige

send their regards.

Uh, they're heading to the party to swipe Rahal's watch

so we can get through the front gate.

Okay. You get over there with them, too,

and tell our gracious host that we're on our way.

The more of you that are over there, the less suspicious

he's gonna be. Roger that. You guys hurry up.

I'm gonna hotwire us

a ride and get our stuff.

You guys go ahead and start mixing the mortar up.

You should do it in about 20 minutes.

You guys better be outside in 21--

we won't have a second to spare.

Okay, you pour the lime;

I'll start stirring. All right.

Hey, that thing you did with the gas up there--

very impressive.

How do you know all that?

I read the encyclopedia when I was six.

Twice. I had a lot of free time.

'Cause I wasn't around, huh?

You got to put your back into that. Now, give me that.

You okay?

Barely.

What the heck happened?

Why do you still have the original panels?

They should be over the Mediterranean by now.

I couldn't risk them ending up in enemy hands.

They wouldn't have wound up in enemy hands.

I did the calculations perfectly.

You just didn't trust me?

You confused feet with meters. I had no choice!

No. You asked Happy to take pictures of these plates...

before I confused the units of measurement.

That's when you took them.

You know what? I-I'm done.

I'm gonna wait for Cabe.

How could I trust

something so important in the hands of someone I barely know?!

You left when you were 14!

Well, you're gonna get a chance to know me now,

because the heat from the beam welded the hatch shut!

And we're stuck in here.

We're not getting out.

It's stuck, all right. Call the other guys.

I can't. My comms fell in this gunk

after the light show, thanks to you.

I know, I know, I was such a terrible dad,

only because I was so busy trying to keep our country safe.

No, I wish that's why you were a terrible father.

You know, when I was younger, I thought you couldn't be

around me because you had to be at work all the time,

but as I grew up, I realized you had to be

at work all the time because you couldn't be with me.

I was busy running around the world

trying to find things like this.

You can't say that's not worthy.

I'm not the son that you wanted.

Say it. I'm not what you hoped for.

Sylvester... No.

When I started doing calculations at the dining room table

when I was three years old, you started pulling away.

Don't tell me I didn't feel that.

I'm a genius, remember?

I don't get things like that wrong!

Sylvester... we're stuck.

I know. We've been stuck in a dysfunctional family...

No, no, no, that's not what I'm talking about.

I mean, we're stuck.

The mortar's set.

♪ ♪

So, any idea how we're getting his watch?

Ideally in a way that doesn't get us killed.

Almost got the truck ready.

U.S. Embassy's awaiting our arrival,

getting the chopper to take us over the border.

I'm sure Ken and Sly will be here shortly.

Just waiting on you guys.

The newest addition to the Bahari

think tank. Come.

Let's toast to our future success.

You know what? Before we toast,

I want to mark the exact moment of this auspicious occasion.

Do you have the time?

- It is precisely... - Oh.

Wow! I'm a bit of a tech geek, and that is

one incredible piece of machinery.

Where did you get this? Ah!

My princess.

Walter, friends, this is my companion Sabina.

Isn't she lovely?

Indeed.

Oh. Of course.

Excuse me. I have business to attend to.

Uh,

if I can pick up the tenors of primal human needs--

Ralph, cover your ears--

Rahal's about to take Sabina to the naughty room.

Okay, what do you want us to do about it?

Stall him. You got to get that watch

and amscray out of there, 'cause if he's half the paramour I am,

he could be gone for hours.

Uh, gross.

And you don't have hours.

Guaranteed his guards give him

regular updates on his prized weapon.

You got to move!

I have an idea.

Uh, Mr. President, please, before you go.

Um, Walter is so appreciative

of you giving him that

job offer, he has prepared a little surprise for you.

Ah, a surprise, huh?

What is it?

Well, if I told you, it wouldn't be a surprise.

What are you doing?

Getting us out of here alive.

Walter.

Mr. President.

Guys, um, standard pop duet, um, in A.

You all know this song, right?

Just hit the fills, and we should be good.

Uh, lyrics. Oh.

You're doing the boy part.

Okay.

I'm doing what?

You're doing the boy parts.

Oh, God. I should be recording this.

♪ Don't go breaking my heart ♪ All right.

♪ I couldn't if I tried ♪

♪ Oh, honey, if I get restless ♪

♪ Baby, you're not that kind ♪

I swear to God, if you don't get into this,

I'm gonna kill you myself.

♪ Don't go breaking my heart ♪

♪ You take the weight off of me ♪

♪ Well, honey, when you knocked on my door ♪

Yeah! ♪ I gave you my key... ♪

Okay, so, good news-- the pool's replenishment tank

has run dry, which means we won't drown in here.

Bad news-- Rahal and his men

will probably kill us when they find us

glued to his German lab.

You know, when I went

to the Pentagon with the evidence of the Sun Gun, I...

I recommended your team for the project.

I did. I...

I read all about you.

I was trying to reach out.

You're right, Sylvester, I...

We never really connected. I...

I wasn't prepared to raise a kid like you.

There's no manual on how to raise a genius.

If there were, I-I'd have read it

a hundred times cover to cover,

because I loved you from the moment you were born. I just...

I just didn't know how to show you.

♪ Ooh, ooh ♪

♪ Nobody knows it... ♪

All I hear is terrible singing.

What are you contributing, Happy?

I can't get his watch.

He's dancing.

Then you have to dance, too. Pickpocketing

is a confidence game.

Just misdirect the mark

by making them think they're in control.

Now go move what your mama gave you.

♪ Oh, honey, when you knock on my door... ♪

Uh, Mr. President,

uh, it would be an honor to dance with you.

Excuse me.

But you need to lead.

I have two left feet.

- Of course. - ♪ Nobody knows it ♪

♪ Nobody knows ♪

♪ When I was down ♪

♪ I was your clown ♪

♪ Ooh, ooh ♪

♪ Nobody knows it... ♪

Wow. You are strong.

You aren't the first lady I've made swoon.

Uh, that spin made me dizzy. I need water.

♪ Oh, oh ♪

♪ I gave you my heart. ♪

Yay! Thank you.

Thank you.

Oh, wonderful! Walter!

My watch.

My-my watch.

They took...

Get them. Get them!

If this is it, I just want to say, I...

I'm sorry for a... a lot of things.

Oh, I-I'm sure I wasn't easy.

I wish I could undue things, but I can't. I...

Undo. That's it.

We can undo the hatch! How?

It's sealed shut.

We can undo the seal the same way we warped it.

By hitting its hinges

with a concentrated beam of light!

Can you reach the panel that fell from before?

But we don't have enough light in here to make it work.

Then we will make our own, huh? Okay.

Now, we need to aim and time this perfectly, or else

the beam could bounce back at us and make us extra crispy.

You need to throw that five point seven feet

in the air at a 60-degree angle with backspin.

Like a Frisbee?

Sort of. I'm not a sports guy, but you need to catch it.

We can't let it break.

We need it to free our legs from the mortar.

This is ironic.

After all these years, we're finally playing catch.

Ready?

Ready. Ready. Ready?

Now!

You broke the seal!

You're brilliant!

Okay, now throw it two feet to your right.

Ready? Ready.

Now!

Hey.

You okay?

Mm-hmm.

Let's get out of here.

Hey.

♪ ♪

Sly, move your ass!

Get in!

Here we go.

Getting in!

I got the code.

Now connecting to the gate's Wi-Fi.

Gettin' close! Use the damn watch!

Hold on.

There!

Get down!

♪ ♪

I don't know about you guys,

but I don't think I'll need

a sun-and-sand vacation for a long time.

Well, I'll copy that.

Well, I guess I'd better get back on the road.

You know how your mom gets lonely.

Yeah.

I think she'd like to see you.

Maybe.

Sure. Sure.

Sylvester, I, uh...

I'm sorry...

...that your mother and I,

we weren't the right family for you.

But I'm glad to see you found the one that is.

Thanks, Dad.

You got his favorite soup, tea?

Everything you said.

Okay. Good boy.

You always yell at Toby.

Why'd you want me to do all this?

The truth is I am falling for the guy.

Ew.

Gross.

I know. Right?

♪ ♪

♪ Don't go breaking my heart, mm, mm, mm ♪

♪ Don't go breaking my heart... ♪

Do you think, uh...

Do you think that the man and woman in that song

were being honest with each other?

I don't know, you'd have to ask Elton John. Why?

Well, being honest with the women at speed-dating backfired,

and, uh,

pretending to like Rahal

saved lives, so I'm confused, because I...

I like facts, and truth is facts.

But sometimes bending the truth can save someone's feelings?

Humans do that from time to time.

I see.

Well, I am... off to eat.

Oh, you sounded... lovely before.

Oh. Thank you, Walter.

Good night.

Wait, hold on.

Was that a “bending” compliment, or a real compliment?

Why should it matter?

Because it does. Tell me the truth.

I thought truth was malleable; you just taught me that.

Don't use my words against me.

You know what, Ralph?

We're gonna go to Kovelsky's with Walter

until I get the truth from him. Grab your bag.

Okay, I'll tell you the truth--

as long as you answer a question first.

Okay.

Who's Elton John?

== sync, corrected by elderman == @elder_man

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