All language subtitles for Redemption.2013.720p.BluRay.x264-BiPOLAR

Dear Mama, dear Papa,
the fevers have returned.

Uncle sent for the doctor from Vila Real
who brought the medicine.

I disliked him,

he was not sociable
and didn't offer me sweets

like dad sometimes did for
the children sick with malaria.

The good thing was not having
to go to school for the last few days

(but don't you worry
because I have arranged for a colleague

to pass me the notes
of the missed lessons).

I have a new teacher
who came from Lisbon.

She is a hippie,
she's called Ms. Minda.

She smokes many cigarettes

and my eyes sting if I look
at the board for too long.

Therefore I rather
look out of the window

and watch the sawmill in the distance
with its roofs white with snow.

But snow is after all not as great
as I told you in the last letter.

It never snows quite enough
to cover the mud of the tracks.

The cold is so harsh that it freezes
the slope outside the school

and I have to tread really
carefully in order not to slip.

There are kids who laugh at me,

the same kids that called me
those ugly names

that Uncle forbade me to repeat.

I know that they are dumb and poor,
that it's not their fault,

because their parents
are even worse than them,

they drink and hit them.

But I feel no sorrow for them,
I think they deserve each other.

I miss you both very much.

I know that it won't be long
before mama comes over

and that will be good but
I miss being there very much,

I miss our home very much.

I also miss Bolinhas,
Ms. Judite and the twins,

and I even miss Cuca...

I think that if he saw me now

he would be reminded of
how good he had it with us,

and would stop hanging around
with those evil people

who want to kick us out of there,

maybe he would even cry

and call me
'sweet little boy' again.

lam sure there are still plenty
of people there who are friends of ours

and don't care for revolutions,

people who one can climb trees
and have picnics with.

Papa and Mama,

I know we must leave that place
solely because we are Portuguese

and that it is no longer Portugal.

But what does Portugal matter

if Portugal is just
an ugly bunch of people

taking scrawny oxen for a walk,
without being able to feed themselves?

Maybe papa and mama have forgotten
what Portugal is really like,

just like the primary school teacher
over there had also forgotten

and would name the train stations,
the rivers, the provinces and its customs

without mentioning the cold,
the poverty and the sadness.

Portugal is very sad
and it will always be so.

You may all rummage
through my biography

- journalists, inspectors,
policemen and altri buffoni!

But you are destined to fail,

you foolish
and presumptuous men,

because the deep truth of matters
is not found

in journalistic research
or judicial processes

supported by false
and biased testimonies

of those who know nothing.

How could they know

if there was no one else there that day,
except for three or four other classmates?

It was eleven o'clock in the evening,

at a barren plot of land
in the outskirts of Milan.

I was opposite the factory
and my legs were trembling.

I was ten years old and
had three stones in my hand.

My idiot friends inveighing against me

as they thought my legs trembled
because I didn't have the balls to do it.

But I believe nowadays that,

none would doubt that few Italians
have them in their place as much as I do.

I was not afraid of the police

or of the fat drunken watchman
who snoozed off on duty.

I threw the stones and shouted:
Fuori fascisti!

A week later, the owner put the factory
up for sale for next-to-nothing

and left Milan
for an undisclosed destination,

taking with him his wife and daughter
- Alessandra, my love.

I am an old man.

I had a full life

and was therefore subject
to infamous lies and the envy of others.

I made many friends
and just as many enemies.

I loved more than
one thousand women

and I assume some of them
have also loved me back.

Those are public facts.

But those who think they know my story
ignore - and always will -

the countless nights I woke up in tears
calling out her name.

Alessandra, where are you?

Have you ever imagined
how much I loved you?

Would I ever have had
the courage to tell you

if I had not thrown those stones

that drove you and your
fascist parents out of the city?

The only thing I feared in life
was your silence, grave and mysterious,

even when you did less noble things

such as picking your nose when queuing
next to me in the rations line.

I whistled the latest hits
of the Italian song to you,

while my hands in my pockets
tried to push down my petite shorts

that made me look slightly ridiculous.

Did you get married, Alessandra?
Did you have children?

Did you vote for me, Alessandra?

Or, as in my dreams,

did you continue to levitate
two feet above the ground

with the theatrical arrogance
of a trapeze artist?

Do you remember the circus,
Alessandra?

You, a blonde silent angel,

much higher than two feet
above the rest of us,

walking in slow motion
up the street, down the street,

indifferent to the crumbled
facades of the buildings

and the agitation
of the carabinieri's dogs.

Did you descend to earth,
I wonder, Alessandra?

Did you look down,
in shame and resentment

of your father before you left,
I wonder?

Did you become bitter

and now fall asleep
alone in front of the television?

Have you been happy?

Has someone else whistled to you again,
Alessandra?

My dear baby girl,

whatever you become in the future,

a ballet dancer,
general attorney of the republic,

equestrian Olympic champion, astronaut
or detective - how would I know -

I fear that you are most likely
not to have a real dad.

And if one day you confront me
with these words

I will surely deny it.

Even if then, as today,
you may very well notice

how absolutely visible
my lack of skills are.

Like today, on that day

I will postpone changing that bulb
in the larder that I promised to do,

how many years has that bulb
been gone now?

On that day, I will allow the servants
to decide what I will have for dinner

and I will brush my teeth
with one of dozens of brushes

that I never bothered to throw away.

My daughter,
France decides its future today.

Tomorrow I will abandon my post,
the polls are relatively reliable.

But tomorrow, like today,
I will continue to be your father.

I will pay for your ballet lessons
and law degree fees,

I will order

the most docile of horses at your
request and the wisest instructors.

In due course will introduce you

to that helpful director
of the European space program.

I will guide you
through the door of the library

that leads to
the classics of crime novels.

You will miss nothing.
These will be future proofs of my love.

But when you search in vain

for photos of me
in your past birthday parties,

when you are unable to remember me
at your side one earlier day in the park,

when you realize
I have been a stranger

because you never knew my favorite
color and my favorite animal,

please don't get angry.

Remember that
you never lacked anything,

that one suffers less when realizing
that they lost what they never had.

That for you the end began
before you were even aware of it.

That it was for your own good,
my daughter,

because it is much sadder
to lose what one once had,

it makes us live
in an eternal present

in which it matters not whether
there is a new bulb in the larder,

and it matters not
if you throw away useless objects

and it matters little
what is served for dinner

as long as one doesn't go hungry.

In honest truth, I don't have
a favorite color or animal,

neither do I remember the times
when I did and then stopped having them.

I also don't remember when I stopped
wishing upon a star as my dad taught me.

For me, the end started so long ago

that I no longer remember
such specific details.

Today is the happiest day of my life.

I love my husband.

All the VIP's from Leipzig's University
came to the wedding.

The party made its presence felt
through members of its highest ranks.

The Regional Secretary confided in us

his high hopes in the union
of such prominent scientists.

Mother seems touched
and apparently so does father,

as he conducts the ceremony
with extreme rigor.

However, in whom can I confide about
this discomfort I struggle against,

this damned opera that of its own accord
imposes itself over waltzes and polkas...?

Overwhelming...
Unbending...

Stemming from the memory
of other surely less happy days...!

For example,
when I watched Parsifal

with my auntie and cousins
ten years ago.

A good day, indeed very good.

The lights of the opera in West Berlin,
the red curtain,

very imperialistic yet so splendid.

A night that gave me goose pimples!

The lights and the curtain...

The singers were astonishing!

Yet in the end, it was an
anonymous day if compared

to the importance of a day
such as today,

so important to me, to my parents,
to the Lutheran Church, to the University,

to the German Democratic Republic...

Unless Wagner
stops playing loudly in my head

he will end up making my dear husband
ask me for a divorce.

If this fascist Wagner doesn't shut up

I'll end up being accused
of betraying the socialist revolution.

If today is not the happiest day of my life
- how disgraceful -

then what constitutes
a day of happiness?

Why do I remember today
- from all days -

the futile joy of taking advantage

of my father's special visa
on my return to the homeland

from the other Germany
carrying my recently bought jeans?

It's not the revolution I betray

with these stupid memories,
with these small vanities.

The revolution is betrayed daily

by the weaknesses and prepotency
of the leaders of this sad country.

I don't even betray
the husband I love and always will.

But I know I offend God
with these forced grins,

with these inglorious efforts
to seem so happy

when, in truth, I'm drifting off.

lam on the other side of the wall,

happy, free, amazed,
with no one to be accountable to,

with no parents,
country nor God.

If I shut my eyes firmly

(quickly, so nobody notices, but hard)

I wonder if this music will go away
and all will go back to normal?

On 21st January 1975, in Vale de Nogueiras:

On 13th July 2011, in Milan:

On 6th May 2012, in Paris:

On 3rd September 1977, in Leipzig

A film by

TEXTS

All texts are the product
of the authors' imaginations

EDITING

With the participation
of the students of Le Fresnoy

SOUND & MIX

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