Original subtitles

Hurry up, we will miss the bus.

- We're on holiday!

- I'll wait for you...

... at the front desk.

- Fuck.

- Hurry up.

Yesterday, you promised we would go see the dunes together.

- Relax. promised, promised ....

You promised not to get fat! See? Promises ...

- The bus is already gone? It is five to.

- Sometimes it leaves early, sometimes late That's the way here.

- What? - The bus is already gone.

- If you want to see the dunes, Dr. Chapuis is going.

- I'm exhausted. Go ahead without me.

It bores me, but I think I will stay at the pool.

Does it bother you, sweetie? Tell me ....

- Hello.

- Sorry to bother you .... - I'm in a hurry. I'll be at the permanence tonight.

- It's not for that .... - Is there an emergency?

- I was told you are going to the dunes and as I missed the bus ....

- Are you coming or not?

Are you here alone?

- With my fianc�.

- I hear you. It's a lovers' paradise here.

I spent three months in a hospital in Dar es Salaam. Sumptuous!

Peter. - Florence.

It is a poem in Brazilian.

- I don't speak it. - No.

But you have been to Saldador.

- How do you know that?

- That place is magical.

At night there's an amazing atmosphere. Music and dance everywhere, .

Young, old .... lncredible.

Well, honestly ....

I was with someone who preferred to stay at the hotel pool.

I had to visit on my own.

There are people like that.

The world offers itself to them ...

... With all its generosity .... And they are just there ....

They stagnate, ...

... They remain stuck in their small convictions.

That's mediocrity. It really gets to me ....

- I totally understand.

- Sorry to inflict this upon you.

- Don't worry, I am a teacher. I know kids.

- I'm not Ganoosh.

- Shut up. If you want sweets, you're Ganoosh.

Peter.

God be praised, you are here!

- Hi Gisele.

This is Florence. We drove here together.

- Nice to meet you. - How are Bashir and Moktar?

- In great shape. Thanks to you.

- The vaccines are in the boxes.

- Children, move aside.

Thank you.

You work with Peter at the hospital? - No.

I am a teacher. - Ah ok

These two were siamese twins. Joined at the head.

Peter operated on them 6 months ago.

All other doctors didn't give them a chance

It's itchy. When can I take it off?

After I leave.

- Kiss your brother - He's not my brother

- Oh dear.

I am really happy he has finally found someone.

- We're not together.

- It's obvious.

- Oh no, I swear.

- In any case, I have not seen him that happy in a long time.

- What do you mean?

- He didn't tell you? - No.

- Excuse me; what time is the wet t-shirts contest?

This. What time?

Don't overdo it.

Shall we go see the dunes?

- You don't have to, you know.

- So now we are on familiar terms?

I always keep my promises.

You're beautiful, Florence.

- Can you translate the poem?

- I love your beauty.

The light of your sympathy.

The delicious love in your eyes.

Oh, look!

Diamond doves.

Very rare at this time of the year

Sorry, Excuse me

Lots of memories ....

returning.

- Go!

Go! - It's great.

Tears, it works every time.

Doesn't take off

It will not. - Okay ....

Don't bother, she kissed him.

- I am sorry.

I do not know what came over me.

- Apologizing for what? Kissing me?

You woke me up, Florence.

It's been ages since I've felt that alive.

All thanks to you.

But ....

For me it's too late. I am elsewhere.

Too far. - I know.

Gisele told me everything.

Your divorce, your depression.

- I can't fall in love anymore

But you ....

You.

You.

You deserve the best.

- Thanks Pierre.

- For what?

- Thank you.

That's it.

- All good. Let's pack up

- You know our rules.

- What if she falls in the arms of this jerk again?

- You will be reimbursed.

- Has it already happened?

- Never.

In a couple, there are three types of women: ...

... The happy ones, the unhappy ones who cope ...

... The unhappy ones who do not admit it.

That last category is my stock in trade.

My name is Alex Lippi. I am a professional couple breaker.

Here is my team ...

Melanie ... my sister and her husband Marc.

These women come from everywhere. They are your mothers, your sisters, ...

... Your best friends, your colleagues.

- Our best friend is dating an egoist

- My sister married a brute.

- My housekeeper lives with a jerk.

My mother lives with a gigolo

- We exist to help all these women.

Our goal: open their eyes.

Our method: seduction.

We never break couples for racial or religious reasons.

Alex does not sleep with its targets.

- We opens their eyes not their legs.

- Most importantly: ...

... We only act if the woman is unhappy.

- And to achieve our goals...

... All means are allowed.

- Person - male Robert Ferre Street.

- Excuse me, I do not know what came over me.

- Apologize for what?

Kissing me?

You woke me up.

I have not felt so alive for the longest time.

Thanks to you.

It's too late for me

I am elsewhere.

Too far.

I can no more fall in love.

But you ....

You.

You.

You deserve the best.

- Thank you Thomas.

- Thank Cesario.

- Thank you Tony.

- What? - Thank you. That's it.

- Goodbye, sir.

- Isn't that your girlfriend Karine? - Huh?

Damn!

What are you doing here? I was not expecting...

But it's good. I'm happy you're here.

It ....

What?

- How was Lapland?

- Cold.

Very cold.

- You remember Olivia? The stewardess?

- Very well. We had dinner at her house.

- Exactly.

She saw you at the airport in Marrakech.

- Huh?

Impossible.

- Hi Karine.

- I called the CNRS. No Alex Lippi.

- Huh?

Is that a joke?

- Stop taking me for an idiot!

I left your stuff with the housekeeper.

I want my keys back.

- But Flo .... Karine.

Let me explain.

- I'm listening!

- I am not allowed to tell you what I do.

I'm on a mission for the State.

For France.

They may be listening right now.

I cannot involve you in this.

You understand, Flo .... Karine?

- You did not see that one coming.

- Sold for � 4000.

We turn next to Lot 52. Expert, please.

- It consists of an imperial Chateau Haut-Brion 1989.

Premier Grand Cru Classe Pessac-Leognan.

An exceptional lot.

Perfectly preserved.

A complex wine with lots of depth, elegance.

Remarkable balance.

We start at 8,000. 8,500 .... 9,000

500. The phone please.

10,000.

- Why are you here?

- It was your mother's favourite wine

- And then?

- You do not want me to help pay for your wedding. Not even flowers

Let me offer you ... a few bottles.

- I will accept your money when it only comes from selling flowers.

- Well, my darling.

It's your wedding.

I gotta go.

If you don't want to attend, I'll understand.

- You know where the Rodin room is?

- It's been how long? - 13 years.

I've brought you this.

I found it at my mother's place.

Too bad you stopped boxing. You had a great right hook

All this for a small defeat. Your father was distraught.

- 3 days in a coma does calm you down.

- A great man, your dad. Strict, but fair.

- Mostly strict.

- How is your mother?

- She takes care of her cats. Sleeps early.

This is Juliette Van der Beck

daughter of the flowers wholesaler. - 30 years, 1 m 65.

Tertiary Education. Conflictual relationship with the father.

She is athletic and hates injustice.

- They didn't lie. You're very good

This is her boyfriend.

You have 10 days to end their relationship.

- Too short. I need more time.

- Impossible. - Why?

- They get married in 10 days

- Before starting a mission I must do research.

- It stinks

- It's a garbage bag.

- I meant the mission.

- I know. Oh l� l�.

- The briefing.

If God were to choose a couple to recreate humanity, it would be them.

- That's all. Let's dig further.

I've never seen anyone in love like that.

He writes perfumed letters to her after 3 years of relationship.

Perfumed e-mails would be a bit more complicated!

... His faults?

From a rich London banking family, He graduates top of his class from Oxford at 26.

He leaves London to do charity work in Asia

Back in London, he combines his hobby and his work ...

... And starts a food bank that feeds ...

... more than 10 million children worldwide. - His flaws!

- I read what is written.

- We want his flaws.

- His faults ....

I have something.

He owns a private jet.

That does not mean that he flies it.

Not knowing how to fly his own jet, that's a fault.

No?

Guys, I have additional info

I know that Juliette and Jonathan have been together for 3 years

Typical way to meet in their circles: they met in Dubai on New year's day...

through a trader friend. They moved in together 1 year ago.

It's been the perfect love story ever since.

- What did he ask for? - A doggie bag.

Lord Byron is a miser.

The jerk! He packs away his croutons.

- Real stingy. - Yeah.

How long does it take to split a miser's couple?

- I don't know. Two hours?

- I know my job. There's always something iffy.

I don't mind the food. I'm starving.

What do you mean, you cannot help her?

She is happy, Francois. Never seen such a happy couple

- As always, things get tough and you try to quit.

- Do not start. With good preparation no woman resists me.

- This fear of failure was what saddened your father.

- No connection whatsoever.

It is a question of principle. They are happy, I don't touch it.

- You're not like that in love I hope?

- I have no problem at that level.

- Glad to see you again.

We cannot refuse that contract.

- Why?

- We are bankrupt while you continue shopping ...

This office is becoming a real dump where we cannot receive clients

Alex doesn't have enough to rent a maid's room

The van can hardly start and I have to change the oil myself!

That's why!

- I did not add tomatoes this time.

- I was starving - It's delicious.

We build a fake Berber village

We rented the Sacred Heart Basilica one month ago!

This is becoming nonsense. - We are artists.

- Mozart was not asked to write an opera for accordion.

- You are really pissing me off.

- You are the one.

Do you think I like playing Don Juan to bring home the bacon?

I have no privacy. I live under my desk.

Mat!

How much do we need? 5000?

- 20,000; to get the account out of red. - You'll have them tomorrow.

If I were you, I'd eat them differently.

- Don't bother. He doesn't speak French.

Don't go too far.

I brought him back from Serbia.

He was doing dog fights.

He loved to fight pit bulls.

- Great.

I need extra money. 20,000.

- Alex, forget it! And you got one week ...

... for the 30,000 you owe me.

- What do you mean 30,000? It's not settled?

You didn't talk to Maurice?

He didn't call you?

That's silly!

I'll call him.

- I swear that if you don't pay me ...

... I'll destroy your face and even your mother won't recognize you.

- Okay.

Dutour?

- It's Okay, I accept. It's 50,000.

You are greedy.

Starting Monday, she will be in Monaco to prepare the wedding.

Good news: the groom only arrives on Friday.

On the eve of the ceremony.

You have 5 days.

Good luck Alex.

- Everything OK?

- Yes, thank you.

- We will deliver everything to your hotel.

The tailored satin only arrive tomorrow from Milan.

A problem? - I can't find my handbag.

You shouldn't leave your stuff lying around...

A beautiful bag like this. Someone could get ideas.

- Who are you?

- Your father hired me. I'm your bodyguard.

- No offense, but you seem a little frail.

- Build is not how you measure efficiency.

- It's me.

I'm glad you called darling.

- Stop it!

Who is that guy you hired?

- Hold on.

Your guy has been blown. Who is that loser?

- Make sure it's him.

- What does he look like?

... 35, brown hair, 1 m 75. Bleached teeth.

Hick suit, hick shoes ...

- That's him.

- What do you mean?

I don't need a bodyguard...

... to follow me around. I'm not 15 anymore.

- Put him on.

- Listening.

-A bodyguard?

- Yes, sir.

- You are a genius.

- Absolutely.

-Good luck young man. Put my daughter back on.

-Listen Juliette; I have received threats.

- Until married, you're still under my protection.

That is not negotiable.

- I'll double your pay and you leave me alone.

I promise he won't know.

How much do you want?

- Stop it. It's embarrassing.

- Maybe it's not money that you want.

-How about an affair with a woman about to get married?

-We do this right now, in the fitting room.

I did not wear panties today. You just have to lift my dress.

-You think you have moral fibre?

-You're like all the others.

- A servant scared of my father.

Hello?

- She's lying. She's wearing panties.

My suit....

My suit is lovely. Paul Smith.

-Hurry up, she's coming.

- It's done. Pass me the grille.

I never have time to install my cables.

- What are you doing here?

She's in the lift!

- Quick.

- Wait.

- Hello.

- Hello.

- Miss Van der Beck

... I am at your disposal if you need anything.

- Thank you. - Have an excellent stay.

And congratulations on your wedding.

- Thank you.

- Just to let you know ...

I am in this room. Just in case...

It's good, she hates me. We push on.

- In the poor guy genre .... - You're the best!

- Too much?

- Do you know the distance from here to Italy?

- No

- 10 km 750.

Hardly anything.

Especially for a Milan racing driver.

I've worked on the accent for 5 years.

I'm beginning to master the character.

Check out the racing suit.

I had all the sponsors updated.

Quite a sight, isn't it?

One word from you, Matteo takes the start,

Pole position beside you.

Spaghetti Bolognese. Vongole.

- If one day we must win the daughter of Alain Prost ...

... I will consider this option. In the meantime, calm down...

- Go back to your computer. Let's move on.

- The bitch.

Look at that little ass...

- Pig.

- These are her faults?

Fan of George Michael, she knows Dirty Dancing by heart; ...

... her right shoulder is more sensitive.

- Is this a joke?

- You forgot she eats blue cheese for breakfast.

- Wow, she's mad! Blue cheese for breakfast.

- There's also this Alex. Listen.

In 1998, aged 20, passes the HEC entrance exams.

She disappears without explanation,...

Re-appears one year later, drops HEC and start studying Eunology.

- That is interesting.

What did she do for that one year?

No one knows. Even her father.

- Nobody knows

- Good day.

- She has left!

She has left! - Shit!

My shoes!

Fuck. - Your headset.

- Where is Miss Van der Beck?

- I don't know.

- Shit!

- A gray hatchback taxi. Find it.

- What make?

- I don't know. Figure it out.

- Isn't that your mum up there?

- Hey! - Lucas, your bike.

- Good idea, the bike.

-Cut the comments. Find her.

- Got her. Near the Opera.

- Where is she? She's not here.

- I see you. - Marc, where is she?

- Wait, I'm looking.

- Got her.

- At the harbour. Go!

- Hello. - Hello.

- You can't get rid of me like that.

- Your father pays me to ensure your safety.

Whether you like it or not.

In 10 years, I was never treated that badly.

If you want to terminate my services ...

... it's 50,000.

- What? - 15 days at 2,000: 30,000.

Plus 20,000 for breach of contract.

- I knew a nice sea trip would change your mind.

- And my father? - I'll tell him I am watching you.

All my best wishes.

- Thank you.

- The slap? Very good.

Good.

Good.

Mellan, the handbag.

- It is a Hermes. Tell her you couldn't get it back.

- The handbag!

- You're a pain!

- Oh shit.

Well, uh ....

- Are you okay?

You're bleeding.

- Oh yeah.

- It's nothing.

And you, OK? - Okay.

- Thank you.

- I should be the one thanking you.

Shall we go?

- Excuse me.

Please explain.

You are maid, valet, this morning, waitress ....

Who are you exactly?

- Precisely. You should be glad I don't ask for a raise ...

Good morning Miss Van der Berg.

- Hello Miss Van der Beck.

- We should agree on a secret word.

- Sorry? - A secret word.

In case of problem. You shout the word and I run to you.

I know my job. We need a secret word.

- Purse.

- Huh?

- Purse. That's the word.

- Is that a joke?

- No. You have a better idea?

- The program is full of good mood, coconut trees and clams.

- We begin with George Michael and the group Wham.

- Sorry.

- You like it?

- It's gorgeous.

- Pardon me.

- Yes?

- Has she succumbed to the bodyguard's charms?

- I'm working on it.

- I would progress faster if you told me everything.

- Meaning?

- Why is it that Van der Beck doesn't want this wedding?

- I pay you to act.

Not to ask questions. Clear?

- It is very clear.

Purse. PURSE!

- Shit!

- I yell 'Purse'...

... And he comes right over.

- It's not easy.

- It's not easy.

- It will be very difficult.

- Difficult. - She's a real pain in the ass!

- A real pain.

- What are you complaining about? You have been saying your work is too easy.

- Tonight we will sabotage her air conditioning.

- We'll see if she still jerks me around.

- She's right. You do have a tendency to give up ....

I do my job.

I hear you.

I am telling you my air conditioning started.

It is stuck. It is very cold.

- I send a repairman immediately.

Thank you.

- Marc. - Yeah?

- You're being promoted. Don't mess up.

- I look like a real plumber, right?

- Hello.

- Hello.

- What's the matter?

- Is he wearing a wig? - No.

- You told him to limp? - No.

- It started on its own. Impossible to stop it.

- No problem. Me repair anything.

- What is that accent?

- He just tires me up!

Madam, Please no tell

Problem me. Only one week here ....

Boss send me back Poland.

Finish work. Me little children. Three.

You say nothing, or me problems.

Problem green card

Problems boss ....

- Any problem?

- No.

- No problem. I manage.

- It's cold here, no?

- No problem.

- I cannot tell you why but I need another room tonight.

I am very sorry but we are full. We have no more rooms.

Have a great evening.

- Thank you. Goodbye.

- You can have my room.

- I'll sleep in the car. I am used to it.

- No. This is ridiculous ....

Take the couch. You don't snore, right?

- No.

- What is it? - Nothing.

- Nothing to be ashamed of.

I can even tell you it's one of my favourite films.

- Really? - Yes, I swear.

- I pictured you more into art films.

- I pictured you more into action movies.

- We can watch it if you want.

- Well .... If you want to.

- Hold the position.

No ....

- I love that part.

- Me too.

- Shall we go? - Okay.

- Again thank you for children.

I finish work soon.

- Thank you.

- I'm tired. I'm going to bed.

You don't mind? - No, I understand.

- What are you doing?

- Uh .... Nothing.

I'm making my rounds

To see .... If everything is ok.

- I don't think I am in danger here.

You can relax.

- Yes.

Slept well?

- Yes, thank you. - I ordered breakfast.

- Thank you.

- I wait for you downstairs?

Blue cheese. Many find it disgusting but I love it in the morning.

- Did it end well last night?

I left early.

Was it good?

Do tell me if I am over the top.

I'm open to criticism.

I don't get upset.

I feel that I was good.

that I did my job ....

- It's ridiculous. Run with me. I feel like Madonna.

- No, but normally ....

I have to respect a safe distance.

- You have secured the perimeter?

- Look ....

On the right is Menton

And there Cape Martin.

- There was a good restaurant in Cape Martin

- The two brothers.

- Exactly.

- It's amazing that you know it.

- When I was a kid we would go every year on my mum's birthday.

We don't go anymore.

She is gone.

- I'm sorry.

- Not ....

It's me .... Sorry.

Forgive me.

Look.

You see the cape, there?

- No. - Follow my finger.

There!

- I also used to go with my mother.

Let's go back.

I have an appointment.

- Are you married? - Single.

- Ah I'm not surprised.

- You can tell? - You can smell it.

If you were married, your wife would have told you ...

... to brush your teeth after blue cheese.

By the way, you snore.

- You too.

- Sophie?

- Hi, Juliet.

- It's ok. Let her go.

- Who is it?

- A childhood friend she has not seen for 10 yrs. Why didn't you know?

This is a mess. We're in the pits.

Cancel Marine Land.

- Too bad. We taught the dolphins your names.

And the coffee? - This we keep.

- And as I was in my room I though ...

... Sophie; you must choose.

Either you keep partying in Mykonos.

Or you stop messing around and join your ex best friend before her wedding.

Guess what I chose?

What?

- Your breast.

You could have warned me.

There's no more room. The hotel is full.

- Room 514, next to Miss Van der Beck.

- However ....

Could you help cos I lost mine ...

My credit Card. - Oh yeah.

- I'm so glad to see you.

- You okay?

- No, I'm not ok.

I haven't fucked in 3 days; my pussy is tingly.

Alex, will you eat with us?

No he doesn't.

He has work to do and I have a wedding to plan.

A Sauvignon Semillon blend - perfect with lobster.

- Yes. Perfect with lobster.

- Everything OK?

- It's really delicious.

- It will be even better for the big night.

- Good. Cos right now it's quite so-so.

- Turn around.

Turn around!

Are you sure it's good protection?

It's for volcanologists. 100 pct safe.

You don't have to stay with me.

Planning a wedding is quite boring.

- It's a bit of a drag, that's true.

- I have to move the car. I'll be 10 minutes.

Ouch - Sorry.

I am awfully sorry

- It's nothing! It will dry up.

- Are you scalded?

We'll take care of it.

Sit down. - Okay, okay.

- Very well, sir.

- Are you sure you are fine?

- It's ok. I felt nothing.

A motorcycle knocked me down 10 yrs ago. I have no feeling in my right thigh.

- I have the same thing in my shoulder.

A skiing accident.

- You're having me on!

- I swear. That's incredible.

- So if I plant my fork in your thigh ...

You feel nothing?

- He shouldn't. The other day I wore a shirt ...

with a pin still in it. Didn't feel a thing.

- The bitch!

She got the wrong thigh.

- Sorry!

This time you feel nothing?

- Nothing.

- The human body is a crazy thing.

- Are you sick?

- No.

I am on a diet.

Shall we get trashed tonight?

- No. - Please. Just once.

- No.

- You're becoming boring!

- I have opera tickets. Chopin recital.

- Yes? Yes, Alex.

No problem.

You had a hard day ....

I never call my father. Let alone to rat you out.

Have some rest.

Have a good evening.

Good night. See you tomorrow

See you tomorrow.

What?

- Well .... Nothing.

- Yes, something. What's up?

- Nothing.

- What?

- Look. Third row.

I didn't even tell him where we went.

- Let me see.

You know what?

I'm going to fuck him tonight. If that's ok with you.

- Why would it bother me?

- As if you didn't think about it...

- You're sick!

- You're getting boring!

- One night stands are not his style.

- You bet! I can smell sex.

- I swear.

I spent last night in his room. He hardly looked at me.

- What do you mean?

- My aircon was out and ....

I was cold. Anyway who cares?

- You're a prince. She never stopped watching you.

- I seduce her tonight. Tomorrow we are in Paris.

- What's up?

- Nothing.

What?

- My air conditioning is broken.

Can I sleep here? - No.

It's not possible!

Now is not a good time.

- It's hot here.

- Yeah, but ....

No.

It ....

Oh no, no, no.

I have many things to do. I can't.

Wait.

This is not a good time.

I have work to do.

I gotta go take a shower.

I'll go take a shower. - Wait ....

I'll clean you.

- No. Wait.

Tonton, quick. The nympho is in my room. She'll mess everything up.

I don't know! Find a way.

- Come, come.

- No, no ....

- Come here.

- I have no time.

But .... You're mad!

- You said by any means possible.

Make up your mind!

Fuck. She is pretty, eh?

Don't you think?

Have you seen all this!

- Manage her. Don't let her out of her room.

- Do not worry.

- Yes?

The Englishman arrived last night. It became complicated.

- What do you want?

- An advance. Straight away. Or I stop. Too many expenses.

- You will be paid once your mission is complete. Good luck

- I'm on a big contract. I'll have the money in three days. Call Frank, he'll understand.

Don't call him now!

Tomorrow!

- Please avoid the face.

Thank you.

- M�lan.

- I've been looking for you for one hour.

- I started early.

Where are you going? - I don't know.

Go get Marc. He is with Sophie.

- With Sophie?

- Where to?

- The airport.

- Who are you?

- You cried my name out all night long.

I'm Matteo.

Let's make love again to jog back your memory.

- Damn, I need a coffee.

I have better.

Tell me....

This room is crap. Let's go fuck somewhere else.

I swear there's nothing at all.

- I do not want to know. We must go now.

- Hold this.

You and me for Life.

- Are you completely mad?

- She must not leave the room.

- I beg you; do not leave .... - Pardon me?

- You can't get married on a whim.

You must think first. Talk about it.

- I've pushed my wedding 2 days earlier. That's nothing.

- Las Vegas is not for you. It's overrated.

Plus one marriage out of two ends in divorce.

- Thank you.

Goodbye, Alex.

- M�lan; where on earth are you?

Bravo.

This crazy bit, Las Vegas ...

Daring move...

- Thank you. We must go.

At the same time .... At the same time ....

It will hurt your parents.

I got married 2 years ago without inviting them.

They never recovered.

And then ...

They died.

- Bye, Alex.

- M�lan, I hope you guys are in the plane or we're in the shit!

We've never failed a mission in 10 years and you mess up on the most important one!

You piss me off!

You piss me off!

A problem?

- Drop me off in town. I have a fitting.

- What happened?

- Mind my security, I'll manage my private life.

- Hello, Alex!

I don't get it. What's happening?

- I'll explain later.

Drop us off at Avenue Monte Carlo please.

You don't need to wait for us. We'll manage.

... You didn't leave?

-Just before take-off he spoke to his parents.

- They had just reached the hotel.

- And then? -He said he couldn't do that to them.

- He chickened out.

I'm not surprised. He looks like a bore.

- Don't say that. - Oh yeah I forgot...

... You've become just like him.

Hey, don't cry.

It's because I'm happy.

I'm glad you're here.

I'm happy to see you too.

I never forgot you, you know.

- Excuse me!

A problem?

- A problem?

Of course. There are 50 problems!

- Pardon? - You are in charge?

Thierry Lamarc. VP - Merchandizing.

You went through the training? - Of course.

- Your name? - Sandrine.

- Sandrine. It's a mess here.

Looks like K-Mart.

We have to face facts: we are useless!

The plane was the pinnacle.

We are normally one move ahead, this time ten moves behind!

- What do you suggest?

- From now on, no more safety net.

I must admit I don't mind. I know I can do it.

- As long as her man is around, it's impossible

- No. Because we are totally wrong about her.

- I had the same intuition ....

- She is a dormant volcano. She's always under control.

She lies to everyone and herself.

- You have something in common.

Two major mythomaniacs.

- What I can do first ...

- You do nothing.

I'll wake the volcano up.

- Great. Wake up the volcano.

What's up?

- Nothing.

Say, the first time M�lan you saw, you ....

- I fell in love.

- Immediately? - It was obvious. A revelation.

I knew she was the one.

I went into a kind of frozen smile.

- You didn't do that?

That's not a smile, that's a jerk face.

I had you well briefed for your first rendez-vous with her.

- I was so nervous I could not sleep.

I directly connected. Dual-core processor.

Is it you or me? - You.

It worked.

She died of laughter.

- Fortunately, or you wouldn't have thought of the job.

Huh? - Yeah.

- Good ....

This needs more work.

- I asked for a martini without olives.

- Right....

I'll go have a bite.

- Yes, you're not wrong.

It's even a good idea.

- You're not hungry? - No.

I will finish the tuning...

... Or we'll never finish.

- It's over.

The wedding is tomorrow. It's over.

- We could kidnap her. We've never done that.

- Yeah .... - No?

Alex. Come take a look.

- Damn!

Good evening.

- Insomnia.

- Same.

- Sorry about today.

- No, it ....

- If I ....

This marriage all that ....

I am a bit on edge.

- Want to walk a bit?

- Why not.

- I wait for you downstairs.

- You're sure of what you're doing? - Yeah.

- You do not need us? - No.

- No headset? - No.

Tonight I improvise. Alone!

- What do we do?

- Wait a second.

Welcome to Monte-Carlo Bay.

Thank you.

- Good evening.

Where are we going? - I don't know.

But we are going.

Close your eyes

There's a bar here.

There you go.

Be careful!

Shh. It's fine.

Come over here. We're almost there.

- Step over now

You need to step over the bar.

Okay.

We go down.

So?

- It's a swimming pool.

- Not exactly.

You like it?

- Shall we swim?

- No.

Damn!

Hurry, hurry.

- I'm hungry.

- I know a place.

Carlo!

- No, I close. It is not possible.

- Wait .... - The cook is gone.

- I will cook. A small pasta dish.

- No. - But everything is closed.

She is hungry.

Explain to me how you can seduce such a beautiful girl.

Did you fuck her?

Not yet.

Can I have a glass of wine?

Certainly.

- Eat while it's hot.

I added a little mint.

- It's delicious.

- Ah Married within the year.

The last drop .... Married within the year.

- The wedding is tomorrow. Wish me something else.

- A beautiful love story.

- What's the craziest you ever did for love?

- In the sixth grade ...

I fell madly in love ... with a girl in my class.

Agnes, the daughter of the French teacher.

To seduce her I had joined ...

... The college theater class.

At the end of the year we played Tristan and Isolde.

I was Tristan.

- She played lseut. - Yes.

After the show, ...

... During the final bows,

... I declared my feelings.

On stage. In front of the whole theatre.

- And then?

- Nothing.

She didn't love me.

I was shamed in front of everyone.

I quit theater and asked my parents to change college.

- Sorry

Hello?

- I couldn't imagine you were such a good dancer.

- No Merit. That's my favorite movie.

- It's weird that you love that show.

- The stuck-up princess who falls in love with the bad boy ....

Call me mad but I like it.

- Sorry, but you didn't understand the movie at all.

- Why?

- It's all about the crazy, sexual animal side.

It's wild.

- Yeah.

It's true. You're right

Looking at it like that....

- You are on vacation here?

- Here for business.

I work in banking.

I run a food bank that provides ...

Food ... for 2 million children.

- It's great. - Yes, that's great.

But I draw very little glory.

My great pride is my wife.

The love of my life.

- So, to your wife's health.

That cocktail is strong.

... I am also married to an exceptional person.

In fact, a race car driver ...

... in Milan.

Lucky girl.

Have you ever thought of cheating on him?

- Oh that ....

Yes.

With you.

- Are you telling me you could cheat on me?

- No.

If I cheat with you, since we're married to each other, ...

... I'm not cheating. - That changes nothing.

What you just told me is really harsh.

Come closer. You got something right there.

Don't move.

- I could not have dreamt a better hen's night.

Thank you.

I feel good with you.

You do not try to impress me. You are yourself.

No lie. No pretense.

But I do not know much about you.

- It's not true.

I told you my greatest humiliation.

You, you have said nothing.

- The day I was admitted to HEC, ...

... I went out to celebrate with Sophie.

We went to see a concert of the Boston Rats.

Nobody knows them. An independant metal rock band.

We were on the first row. We had been drinking heavily.

The singer brought us up to dance on stage.

That evening I slept with him. Sophie slept with the drummer.

The next day, we went on tour with them.

I was crazy about him.

We went around the world.

We were backup singers, groupies ....

After a while, there were more groupies but I didn't give a shit.

It lasted almost a year.

Then my mom died.

I was not there for the funeral.

My father has never forgiven me and me neither.

What's up?

- Nothing. Why?

- I dont know. You ....

Don't take it the wrong way ok.

You have a bit of a ...

- Jerk face.

- Yes.

Exactly.

- I feel great with you too.

- I told you. He's a pro

- Thank you.

- What is he doing?

- He is stupid!

- What you said is true.

Once the going gets tough, he chickens out.

- It's not that.

- Then, can you explain what are you doing?

-This is all part of my plan. No problem.

- There is a problem. - We're not sure you still see clearly.

- Now is not the time to quit on us, Alex.

- You have already done a lot.

Go ....

- Let's go.

- Sophie.

- Thank you.

- If Jonathan asks, I was with you all night ok?

- You bitch!

Who were you with?

- Alex.

- Did you fuck him?

- No.

No.

- You are not going to do something stupid, right?

- What are you talking about?

- Your man is prince charming and he is filthy rich.

First you get married and then only you jump everything that moves.

If I were you that's what I would do.

It is a mistake .... a mistake.

- You're not so proud now, asshole.

- Wait.

You woke me up Juliet.

I have not felt that alive in ages.

It's all thanks to you. But for me ....

- Me too I feel alive. Thanks to you.

- Wait, let me finish.

But for me it's too late.

I am elsewhere. Too far.

- I am canceling the wedding.

- Alright....

Forget what I said.

We had a great evening. It was really good.

But that's it.

Yes? - Van der Beck speaking.

- Yes. - Your mission is over.

- Okay. What will she do?

- She's going to get married.

- You and I cannot do anything about it. She does what she wants.

- You did a good job.

- I do not care.

We pack up, the job is over.

What?

- Who is it? - Who's who?

- Who is it?

- Who?

- This guy here. Who is he?

- Oh shit ....

Is he dead?

- Not yet.

- Who is he?

Stop playing with this thing, damn it!

- Enough with you! What's all this fuss?

- What?

A thank you would be nice.

Son of a bitch!

- How much do you owe them? - A lot.

- You're mad! - I know.

- Sorry about the pictures.

- You don't need to prove yourself to me, you know.

- It's been 10 years since your mother passed on. I understand.

You're a serious, responsible woman

You have a beautiful career.

However, ...

... I don't understand what you want to prove to yourself by marrying Jonathan.

I have nothing against him.

He is a great guy, intelligent, successful.

I am sure he is very nice.

But you'll be bored with him.

- Pardon me.

- In a couple there are three categories of women.

The happy ones, the unhappy ones who cope ...

... and the unhappy ones who do not admit it.

That last category is my stock in trade.

We exist to help them.

Our job: Breaking up their couples. Our goal: to open their eyes.

Our method: seduction.

We break their couples, never their hearts.

My name is Alex Lippi and today, I broke my own heart.

- I'm happy to go back.

- Get back to our little lives. - Yeah.

And you?

What will you get back to? Your little lies ...

- Your short term love stories?

- Thank you. - You're welcome.

This is really too bad.

The one time you find a girl you really like ...

- Yup. But she ....

- She what?

She what, Alex?

How was last night?

- A dream.

- It's not too serious. With your beautiful face ...

... You'll find another Cendrine, Karine, whatever.

You will forget her name once you've slept with her.

So anyway ....

Dad was right.

Once it gets tough, you chicken out.

- You guys are really getting on my nerves with this!

I am not chickening out!

Fuck off!

- I didn't say anything. Why do you scold me?

- Shit!

Shit!

- I didn't even open my mouth. - Shut up!

- I'm going to meet the woman of my dreams. - Congratulations.

- I tell you that bcos I have no money on me.

- For info, how much does it cost to hire a guy who'd get stuck with a fork?

- It's free.

- He refused the money.

Outside, there is a car with the keys in the ignition.

Just in case.

- Oh no!

- I hate blue cheese. I had never seen Dirty Dancing.

To me, George Michael is a shit singer.

And my thigh is perfectly alright.

I don't know if I am good enough for you.

I have no private jet.

I have no apartment, I live in my office ....

I don't know how I'll manage if I cannot see you everyday.

So ....

- I can't believe it.

I don't understand why she did that to you.

- That's life.

- I'm here.

- He will never know he owed money to me.

- Never.

- I told you he was a bit daft.

- Don't ever talk again like that of my daughter's boyfriend.

- A little help? - Yes please.

I cannot manage that thing.

- Look! A stray dog.

So rare to see such dogs in this kind of bad neighborhood.

- What's wrong?

- Lots of memories coming back.

I never felt so alive.

You woke me up Corinne.

You awoke things in me...

that were buried real deep.

- Wait ....

- I find it hard to fall in love.

But here I swear. You deserve better.

- Let go of me!

- You deserve better.

- You're hurting me. You frighten me.

Let go of me! You're mad!

- What a bitch!

You deserve a good person.

So?

- Well .... The text is not bad.

- She got hooked first, but then she escaped.

Then I tried .... - Yeah.

- I got the feeling she was reciprocating...

I do not know.

She must have thought I was going to jump her .... Was I too much?

- Not .... Anyway ....

- You thought I would succed, right?

I cannot tell, cos I'm just living the situation.

I couldn't get myself to cry It did make me unsettled.

- Let's pack up darling. Let's go, ok?

- Too bad. I was only a smidgen away.

- Don't get hung up on it. It's over.

We pack up. - It remains a failure. Must take it.