Original subtitles

Previously on "Imposters"...

Mazel tov!

Ava, honey?

Yeah, I... I think we've been robbed.

Um...

Hi, Ez.

- You must be very confused. - _

You will never see me again.

There's a problem with your wife.

- May I come in? - Who are you?

I am her husband, just like you.

We married the same woman, and she took us both!

Do you know this woman?

She's my wife.

No way.

She's out there,

probably working some new guy,

looking like some new chick.

Saturday, I'm having a barbecue.

Is she getting distracted?

Maybe I need to send Lenny Cohen.

Hello, Maddie.

I'm Lenny Cohen.

Tell me about Patrick Campbell.

Patrick's in the FBI.

What is that supposed to mean?

I followed him to the goddamn headquarters

and it said Federal goddamn Bureau of Investigation.

We are all in the exact same boat.

I have a plan.

We take Patrick,

we pay off the Doctor,

and the FBI doesn't even know what happened.

Would you please tell me

where that ridiculously expensive ring

that you gave that woman is?

I realized that Maddie

was gonna take the ring

and burn us all.

Oh, my God. You fooled them all.

Always forward.

Never back.

You need to find Max and Maddie

before the Feds do.

Oh, yes, I will.

And those three impostors, too.

Right away.

Guys!

- Wait, where are you going? - What?

We got to go to the ticket office, man.

I got to take a piss real quick.

No, no, we don't have time.

Whoa!

- Oh, my God! - Sorry, sorry.

So, where are we going?

Well, I guess we should find someplace we can sell the ring, right?

Shh!

That rhymes with "fillion bollar king."

We should definitely sell it, fast.

But not, like, at a normal...

selling place, because the FB...

the burrow will be tracking it for sure.

They probably think Maddie or the Doctor has it.

Oh, duh.

Duh, what?

Bro, I can totally sell

the fillion bollar king in Scottsdale.

- I know a guy. - What guy?

The right guy, and his boss.

They're, uh, professionals,

and they love doing business with me.

- Uh, yeah, that's not... - Yeah, dude, this does not

- inspire me. - Guys, guys.

I don't say "I got this" unless I got this.

Now let's go buy some freaking bus tickets.

Let's get a "Scottsdale" on three.

One, two, three, Scottsdale!

I'll work on that.

Bus 202 is now boarding...

All right. Come on.

What? No, Martha, you know who I am.

Look, Martha...

Martha, Martha... okay.

I know, I know, but I'm... No, it's true!

I would... Mar, listen,

I would never in a million years.

Oh, sorry, sorry.

Eyes up there, Petunia.

I like your boots.

Heh. What?

No, I wasn't talking to you.

I know your name's not Petunia.

All right, I got 35 bucks.

I keep telling you, refined sugar is expensive,

and it's bad for you.

I have... 25 bucks.

Yeah, well, I guess four pounds of almonds

are expensive too.

They must have been organic.

You guys.

What about the code?

"Thou shalt scam only assholes."

The guy called me Petunia.

Definitely an asshole.

Thank you.

Tell me about yourself.

Well, my name is Molly,

and I'm looking for a fresh start.

Let me guess.

You're fleeing a tragic romance, aren't you?

Just out of a marriage.

Not exactly sure how tragic.

I like quiet tenants.

No... drama.

Never been one for drama.

I'm just looking for a nice, quiet life

in a nice, quiet town

where nobody knows me

and I don't know anybody.

You know, some real stability,

a clean slate,

same as everyone else.

A happy, normal life.

Great. Thanks.

There are your keys.

Thanks.

Maddie Jonson.

Who are you now?

Simons!

How many times I have to tell you?

This office is for agents who didn't screw the pooch.

Yeah, well, it doesn't look like you're having any luck

finding the Doctor or Maddie.

What are you guys doing?

You still looking for that ring, bud?

Check behind the couch cushions.

That's where my wife is always losing shit.

Thanks, Mangrove.

You're a inspiration.

Okay, for you new guys,

our key to finding the Doctor

is Saffron Keyes, AKA Maddie Jonson.

Stole a $1.4 million diamond ring,

aided and abetted by one Ezra Bloom...

That's the guy?

Oh, come on, don't make fun.

Luke's had a bit of a bad streak,

but he's doing the best he can.

You said "professionals."

He was my backup QB.

We went through some serious shit together

in high school.

Yo, Fluke!

Evans! Yeah!

Yeah, dancing queen! Get in here, brother!

- My man! - Whoo!

Good to see you, man.

Dude!

Oh, you got small.

Oh, come on! I'm keeping it tight.

The ladies aren't complaining.

Yeah, yeah.

I guess you're back on the market, huh,

after all the, uh...

ugly shit.

Yeah.

You know, I never liked that little bitch.

Don't call her that.

Hey, don't call her that.

Mrs. G wasn't expecting a nerd party.

Yeah, I know. They're...

They're uptight, but they're okay, man.

They're, uh, my council-lawyeries.

Consiglieri.

Huh?

We're his lawyers.

Yeah, we'll be speaking

for Mr. Evans' interests in this matter.

Oh. Lawyer, huh?

You got a card or something?

Do you?

They in this with you?

Yeah, man, yeah. It's all good.

All right.

Come on back, but fair warning...

we don't serve no avocado toast back here.

Ooh!

Come on, man, don't do that.

- What the? - What?

Just follow my lead on this, okay?

My town, my people, my lead.

Mrs. G!

Good to see you again, Mrs. G.

Let me know when it's done.

What are you looking at?

Come here.

Good to see you again.

I'm supposed to know you?

Richard Evans, ma'am.

These are my counsel... uh,

my representation.

These two.

He helped you out with a little, uh,

football game situation, Mrs. G.

About ten years ago.

You made out pretty good, if I remember.

It was a three-point spread...

Yap, yap, yap.

Yeah.

Thanks, man.

Also, I was the number one car dealer in Scottsdale,

three years running.

Yeah, I remember.

You're the one that got taken to the cleaners

by that little blond filly.

Uptown girl.

You live and you learn.

Hmm.

So, what kind of business we doing today?

Well, Mrs. G, she didn't take everything.

Thank you.

Yeah, how about that?

Pull up a chair, son. I won't bite.

I'll give you 300 grand for it.

With all due respect, Mrs. G, it's worth at least a mil.

Now, I'll take 750, and that's a steal.

There are costs to moving something this big,

and, I'm assuming, this hot.

I won't make anything if I give you anything over...

five.

500 grand for a $1 million ring?

Mrs. G, I...

Deal.

I'll need a day to raise the cash.

We'll be in touch.

King of Scottsdale, baby!

- I'm back, huh? - Yeah, okay, okay.

All right, but those guys are sketchy, Richard.

I-I don't know about them.

How about "Thank you, Richie?"

- I'm just saying... - "You rock, Richie!"

- How about that? - Okay, you rock, Richie.

Okay, okay.

So... so what's there to do in Scottsdale while we wait?

Same thing I did for 24 years.

Hang out at my mom's house.

All right, my friends,

welcome to Casa Chez Evans.

Wow, you're a landowner, Richard.

Eh, not so much.

Mom had to take out a bunch of mortgages.

Turns out getting sick is expensive.

And did your mom keep a liquor cabinet?

Yeah, go for it.

- You, uh, getting nostalgic? - Totally.

This hallway, Easter weekend, senior year,

I banged both Dixon sisters on the floor.

Okay, dude.

Eh, wasn't that cool. It was, like, an hour apart.

Oh, my God.

Whoa!

- No way! - Baby-face!

- Dude, that's you? - Oh, my God.

No way, dude. You got ugly!

- So sweet. - Shut up.

Jesus, what is that?

Well, uh, that's from the dealership.

I was the number one dealer in Scottsdale...

- Three years running. - Three years running?

- We know. - Yeah.

Well, your mom was obviously pretty proud of you, man.

Damn right.

You need a drink?

Yeah, it's slim pickings around here.

Oh, yeah, sorry about that.

After, uh, Alice left,

this place was just chilling empty,

so I moved back in.

Dark days.

Is... is that from your pottery phase?

Family heirloom.

Mom used to keep flowers in it.

I used it for something else.

Richard, I may actually love you.

Oh, now you sound like Megan Dixon...

or was it Bridgette?

- Ugh. - Psych! It was both.

Yeah, maybe we should try and stay sharp for tomorrow.

Oh, loosen up, Ez.

If you're tight before a big game, you choke, right?

You don't want to choke, do you?

No, I...

Come on, you want to get stoned.

I'm just trying to...

Come on!

Right here!

Straight ahead?

Uh-huh.

Yeah.

Markings?

- Hey. - Hi.

- Yeah, just keep an eye out... - Claire?

- Oh! - How are you?

I'm so sorry.

It's okay.

Are you looking for yourself or a gift for someone else?

Oh, uh, just me, yeah.

Cool, cool.

So, uh, which one is you?

- Hmm? - They say there's a wind chime

that's right for every person.

You know, if you believe in that sort of thing.

Oh.

Yeah, I don't really know

what I'm... what I believe in.

Well, we make them ourselves

at the, uh, Harbor.

Ooh.

Who knew there was so much money in wind chimes?

No, it's just one of the workshops.

"Whimsy of your inner wind chimes,"

which is a dorky name, but a great class.

Oh, yeah, I get it.

One of those New Age places for rich yuppies.

Ouch.

We call it a holistic wellness center.

- I'm sorry. I... - No, I... kidding.

It kind of tests well with the rich yuppies.

Yeah, I bet.

What?

I made this one myself. Copper.

Strengthens the manipura chakra

for confidence and control of your destiny.

I... uh, it's really nice, but I'm not...

You know what? Here. No, it just...

Think of it as a pretty gift,

from one well-meaning person to another.

Thank you.

You're quite welcome.

Thanks.

Hey!

I mean, take the three of us.

We've known each other a few months,

but also, like, forever.

Our cells knew each other since the Big Bang.

I hate that show.

It's like, we... we think we live our lives

in this straight line,

but in truth, time actually moves

totally in both directions.

Yeah...

Both directions, right?

- Yeah. - Yes!

Or listen to this:

I get a '67 Shelby GT500,

use that to make commercials for the dealership

and then seriously raise my Q rating.

One, two, three...

Are you guys even listening to me?

Yeah!

We're really about to head off, into, like,

new lives.

An end.

A beginning.

But we're left with pieces of each other, right?

No.

- No good-bye threesome. - Ugh.

- What? - Why would you even go there?

I thought you were... I mean, that's a thing.

A good-bye threesome is not a thing.

It is absolutely a thing.

Just because you've never had one does not mean it's not a thing.

I will not miss you.

Oh, shit.

Did someone narc us out?

You think the FBI found us?

- Oh... - No.

Do not panic.

Go, go, go.

- Holy shit! - Air freshener

- under the kitchen sink! - Shit!

Where did the bag go?

- Sheriff's department! - Oh, God.

One moment, please!

Sheriff's department!

That's bug spray. That's bug spray!

Open up!

I know you're in there!

One second!

Hi, Sheriff, what seems to be the...

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God, Richie!

Kim?

I thought meth-heads had broken in or something.

You're a cop?

Sheriff.

Deputy, I mean.

Awesome. Law enforcement, huh?

Yeah, I still drive the old route

just to check on the house.

You never said good-bye.

Yeah, I was a bit of a mess back when...

Who are your friends?

Um, oh, m...

Uh, they're just...

It's a need-to-know.

Don't need to know.

Richard Evans, are you stoned?

A squidge.

Awesome.

My shift ends in seven minutes.

Oh, I am so...

- Oh, my God. - Hi.

- Hey. - How you doing?

- Good. - Looking for a good book?

Huh? Oh, yeah.

No, I mean, it's a... This... this is me now.

- I, uh... I work here. - Cool.

Yeah, I was just on my way to lunch.

Um, do you want any company?

Uh...

- Yeah, sure. - Cool.

There's, like, a great little salad-sandwich spot

like, right down the street around the corner.

Okay.

How long have you worked there?

Uh, not long, you know.

So how are you enjoying the wind chimes?

Was I right or was I right?

Hung them by the window near my bed.

My mani... pyura

never felt so refreshed.

Oh, man.

You totally didn't hang them, did you?

Bang, straight in the closet.

Sorry, it's not really my thing.

No, I get it, you know.

Maybe someday you'll bust them out,

give it a go.

Mm, never know.

You know, not to press,

but the place where I work,

there are awesome workshops on getting rid of...

Oh, boy, here we go.

No, really.

I am the last guy who would ever be into this shit,

but letting go of fear and mistrust

and cynicism...

Excuse me, I am not cynical.

I gave you a present and you put it in the closet.

Look, I don't know you, buddy boy.

What if those wind chimes had secret cameras on there

and you're some kind of wind chime pervert?

I'm... not a wind chime pervert.

I got to get better about talking about the Harbor.

You know, it's made such a difference in my life

and I just make it sound so stupid.

It doesn't sound stupid.

It sounds like a perfect scam,

and a good one at that.

It's not a scam.

You make me take one workshop

and then you introduce me to this

perfect mirage of happiness, just outside my reach,

and all I have to do to get to that mirage

is pay for another workshop,

and then maybe pay for another workshop

and then perhaps take the advanced class...

Classic scam, dressed up with fortune cookie wisdom.

The fact that you're scared of going to a deeper place...

Whoa, whoa, whoa. I am not scared.

...suggests that you definitely need to go to that very place.

Michael, what I need right now

is a quiet, boring, normal...

Hey, I think we should go.

Are you all right?

Yeah, I, uh, just remembered

I have an errand I have to run

before my break is over.

This was great. See you around?

Yeah.

So, how'd you guys meet?

Uh, I used to paint his number

- on my face at every game. - Oh.

It's not like he ever noticed me.

I noticed.

And then, like kismet,

during my security rounds one night,

I found Richie at the end of the driveway,

drunk out of his gourd,

tears and snot all over,

crying like a bitch.

Cute little bitch.

Poor thing.

Yeah.

It was a bit of a rough patch for me.

Ended up being a fun night, though, no?

You were very comforting.

And then, the next time I came over...

I was off on a little adventure.

Yeah.

And now you're back.

Yeah, I came to visit my mom in the...

graveyard.

Not, like, her, obviously,

but, like, the... grave.

I didn't mean to pry.

Yeah, what are you, a cop?

No, seriously, who are these two,

your partners in crime?

Uh-uh.

I, um... serious, kind of.

None of my business, unless it is.

My Spidey-sense says...

Yeah, um,

so can we trust you, Kim?

Like, total cone of silence?

We're conducting

an exploratory campaign to measure

Richard's popularity in the upcoming election

as potential mayor of Scottsdale.

He's polling quite well in these early stages.

That's amazing!

You could totally be mayor here.

Yeah?

Heck, yeah!

And I'd sign up to be your first volunteer.

Your best volunteer.

I insist.

Well, shit, Kimberly,

then I volunteer you to hit me again.

Ah, with pleasure.

You want to, uh,

go look at our old yearbooks?

Uh-huh.

Let's go.

You have handcuffs?

- Uh-huh. I do. - Ooh.

I know how to use them too.

Good night, guys!

Shall we take the air?

With pleasure.

I think that's a great idea, though...

Stop by there on the way back too.

Okay. Sounds good.

American goldfinch.

Barn owl.

Mourning dove.

Bearded tit.

Brewer's blackbird.

Common loon.

Double-crested cormorant.

Saffron. A saffron diamond.

No, there's no certificate.

It's hot. That's why I'm calling you.

Uh-huh. Okay, great.

- Where's my G and T? - Coming right up.

Chuck says a saffron diamond that size

could be worth a million five.

Makes you think.

If we needed,

can you handle Evans?

I won't dignify that with an answer.

You wanted to see me, Mrs. G?

Tell your friend we're on for tomorrow,

and I want you at the meet.

Put him at ease.

Everything cool?

I'm cool, Fluke.

Is your friend cool?

Uh, I think so.

Then I guess everything is cool.

Cool.

Shh.

Thank God. I think they must be asleep.

- Ah, they're not asleep. - Shh!

- Why? - I don't know.

I... just let them have their fun.

I don't want them to be self-conscious.

I, uh...

I haven't had sex in so long.

Like, so long.

- Really? - Yeah.

I'm surprised.

I mean, like, don't get a big head or anything,

but, like, I think you're kind of a catch, man.

Oh, my God, shut up.

I wasn't fishing for compliments.

I'm just saying.

Also, like, when exactly in the last six months

would I have had time or opportunity to get laid?

I mean...

Richard managed to get it done.

More than once.

Yeah, well,

a leopard can't change his pants.

True.

Well, I also happened to get it done.

Right.

- Mm-hmm. - Yeah, maybe...

Maybe I should've just seduced an FBI agent

and, you know, risked sending my friends to prison.

Hey, hey, do what you got to do, baby.

I'm such a loser.

Hey.

You are not a loser.

You...

are like a dreamer

just waiting for someone to dream about.

- Yeah. - Yeah.

Which, I guess, is just another definition of a loser.

- What is your problem? - So rude!

I'm feeling so vulnerable right now!

- Oh, I'm sorry! - Like...

- Oh, that was terrible. - Shut up!

We're doing some serious work in here!

Sorry!

Rough day?

Rough year.

Whiskey, neat,

and, uh, keep the bottle handy.

I gave her up.

Me.

It's my bad,

and I'll tell you something.

We're garbage people.

We're all garbage people.

Hold up.

Your card's been declined.

Oh, really?

It was working all day.

Try it again.

Why don't we try cash?

Cash is king.

Can you break $100?

Oh, here,

no, just keep this for yourself.

Come on, man.

What the hell?

Oh, shit, that was sloppy.

Uh...

I'm gonna hit the ATM.

Hey!

Hey!

Oh, man.

This is a serious fire hazard.

That's all you got?

That's more like it.

_

_

Hey.

D'Angelo's for dinner, 8:00.

The Gullivers could be great supporters down the line.

I wouldn't miss it for the world.

I love you, baby.

Good.

Now go get 'em, panther.

Uh, excuse me for one second.

Hey, hey, hey.

Just about to close on this chump.

It kind of looks like you're about to put him to sleep, man.

Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

Wait a second. No, let me have this one, man.

I haven't scored a commission in weeks.

Tell me about it.

No, I think it's time we had a real think

about whether you're actually Evans Motors material, huh?

Oh, hey, boss.

There seems to be a problem

with the payroll checks we issued Friday.

What's the problem?

They bounced.

All of them.

What?

Come on!

Come on.

No, no, no, no, no.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

What the (BLEEP)?

What's going on?

I have no idea...

Call Alice.

Call Alice!

We're sorry.

You have reached a number that has been disconnected...

- Hey, boss? - What?

I have no idea how this could've happened,

but apparently, after we closed last night,

we sold 30 cars for over $2 million,

which I cannot find anywhere.

That's not possible.

Find them. Find them!

Hello, Richie.

This must be quite a shock.

All that money and credit cards,

all those cars,

all gone.

There's really no easy way to say this,

so here it is.

You will never see me again.

Yo.

You're late.

Yeah, sorry, I stopped by the dealership.

Doing the full nostalgia tour.

Feels like a lifetime ago.

Really?

I feel like I blinked and ten years went by.

Meet us with the ring in the alley

behind the old hat factory.

Cool?

Cool.

It was a dick thing I did.

What was?

All of it, man.

Treating you like shit.

Waving my awesome life in your face.

I was stuck up my own ass, and I'm sorry.

Shit.

Get the hell out of Scottsdale, Richie.

- What? - You can find a better deal

somewhere else.

I'm pretty happy with the 500 grand.

You're not listening to me, man.

Maybe Mrs. G will honor the deal.

Maybe she'll kick you in the nuts.

Do you know?

'Cause I sure as hell don't.

The universe...

it's a freaking mystery.

Are you aware of something that I should be aware of?

Protect your nuts.

That's all.

And you didn't hear it from me.

Hey.

Huh, nice of you to join us today, Bullock.

Rough night?

Oh, pretty rough.

Then nice and slow,

then rough again.

Who's the lucky guy?

Cone of silence.

Okay.

Shit.

Phoenix FBI.

Hi, I have information about an Ezra Bloom.

Thank you for holding. How may I direct your call?

I have some information

about one of your cases, Ezra Bloom.

Was just hoping to parlay with someone about the specifics.

Please hold.

Due to high call volume, your waiting time

will be approximately ten minutes.

- Thank you for calling the FBI. - Crap.

Let's be professional, please.

Aye, aye, coach.

Heads up.

So, look, if there's any trouble...

There won't be any trouble.

Oh, my God, what?

- Are you crazy? - Relax.

I gave it to my mom for Christmas.

It's never been loaded.

That's a terrible Christmas present.

Guns in the home kill more...

Just promise me you won't pull it out.

All options are on the table.

What?

Don't answer that, man. Don't answer it!

It might be someone important.

- Hello? - Richie, listen.

I have to tell you something about your friend.

Oh, hey, super fun night.

Can't talk.

Shit.

Seven minutes.

- Thank you for calling the FBI. - 3-2-3 to base.

Go for dispatch.

Listen, Debbie, I need a quick GPS trace

from my cell to the last call I made.

So here we are.

Where's the ring?

Where's the cash?

500 large.

Show me the ring.

Show me the cash.

Your turn.

Dump it out.

You sure?

I'm sure.

Aha!

I've seen this trick before!

You seen this trick?

- Whoa! - Okay, okay, okay.

Fluke, take the ring off him.

- What? - Fluke!

Yeah.

Okay, okay, it's cool, man.

I'm really sorry about this, man.

No, we're cool, bro, we're cool.

That dude with the magnifying glass

wasn't even a real appraiser, was he?

You don't even know what you don't know.

You're a joke, Evans.

The whole town knows it.

Don't listen to him.

You're the man.

I'm your backup.

Don't, bro. Don't.

Run!

Give me the ring.

- Give him the ring, Richard. - Give him the ring!

- Calm down, all right? - Give me the goddamn ring!

Just calm down.

Oh, shit.

We got to go, son.

Oh, shit!

Shit, shit, shit!

Shit, shit!

Oh, my God, Kim.

- I owe you so bad. - No kidding.

Ezra Bloom, you're under arrest.

Whoa, whoa, Kim, what are you doing?

Richie, get away.

Your campaign guy is wanted by the FBI.

- He's a criminal. - I am not a criminal!

And I don't know about her either.

- Me? - Kim, I don't know what

you heard, but it's not what it looks like, okay?

Frankly, Richard, I have no idea

what this looks like, but I'm saving you.

- Move. - No, no, no, no.

No, no, listen to me, Kim.

You got to let them go, okay?

I'm the one who screwed up.

Okay, fine, then we'll all go to the station

and wait for the FBI together.

Always forward.

Okay. Everybody be ...ing cool!

Drop the gun!

Put the gun on the ground now!

- Drop the gun! - Now! Do it now, before I blow

his pretty little head off!

- Okay, take it easy, Jules. - Drop it, Kim. Drop it.

- Okay, let's go. Come on. - This is a very bad idea.

Okay, be cool, Kim. We're walking, we're walking.

The money, Mr. Bloom?

Do not approach the vehicle.

Do not get in the vehicle.

I'm actually really sorry about this.

Richie, drive.

Richie, do not put it in gear!

Mother ...er!

Connecting you now.

FBI Special Agent Mangrove.

So, you found Ezra Bloom, did you?

_

Yo, Simons, you got a stapler?

Gets you every time, Simons.

We found the missing cruiser.

Suspects have fled, most likely armed.

- Use caution. - We're all clear.

Urgent care. This is Britney.

Yes, I'd like to make an appointment

- for a... bum knee. - When can you come in?

I can come in at his earliest convenience.

"My town, my people. I totally got this."

We'll be safe from the FBI in Mexico.

Then we sell the ring

and figure out how to fix this.

Yeah, we're gonna have a hard time

fencing the ring in Mexico.

Yeah, I'll find someone.

A real professional.

Straight-up,

I don't have the ring.

- What? - Luke took it off you?

No, it was never on me. I hid it.

The smart play was to take Luke to the ring

after making sure all the cash was there.

We're fleeing to Mexico without the ring?

Where did you hide the ring?

Um...

You're not gonna like it.

Hi! Molly Jackson?

Uh, yeah.

Or should I say Ava Bloom, Alice Evans, Cece Langmore?

Or is it just

Maddie Jonson, no H in "Jonson"?

I'm Shelly.

Shelly Cohen. I'm...

fairly confident you know my ex-wife.

You're Lenny Cohen's husband?

- Ex-husband. - Ex-husband.

Bingo!

Ooh!

Oh, come on, Maddie.

Aren't you gonna invite me in?

- synced and corrected by sot26 - www.addic7ed.com