Original subtitles

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Hoist anchor, Montgomery, we're setting off today...

for new shores

beyond the horizon.

We'll leave everything behind.

All the misery, all the...

Shit!

Damn it!

Dirk Kowalski on set, please!

1000 MEXICANS

Quiet please, we're ready to shoot!

Where are the sweeties?

You're on a diet!

Hi, pal!

I can't wear those, Jenny. I attract women.

Has anyone seen Dirk?

Watch out!

Out of my way or you'll get a chop! The karate kind, not pork!

You could do with a few bitch slaps!

Show a bit more respect, Boris, if you ever want to work for me.

Dream on, Adamsky!

Move the motorhome. It's in our way.

Aye, aye, Captain! - Great, acid drops!

Man! What the hell's going on here?

I can't get a moment's peace!

All this stress here will kill me one day!

Dirk! Relax!

I need your autograph.

My buddy's a huge fan of yours.

You see, Lukas, for me they always come first:

the little sheep who diligently work here

and occasionally squeeze out a few droppings.

Do you understand? I'm not a wolf. I'm a kind of sheepdog.

I protect the herd. I keep them together.

Thierry, what are you talking about?

I thought I'd start with a snappy metaphor,

but let's get down to brass tacks.

When we're finished,

I'm making you Senior Creative Art Director.

You'll be boss! How about that?

Wow! That's really...

You're as useful as a shit-flavored lollipop.

Sorry, Wolfgang, the van was in my blind spot... We'll come to that later.

You can't just go and ask Dirk Kowalski

for his autograph.

Stalkers with homemade fan buttons do that, but not team members.

We can't find Dirk and we're ready to shoot.

Then do the reverse shots first.

And hire a five-star motorhome for Dirk. That'll relax him.

You got it!

"You got it!"

It's your fault, dickwad!

Get your stuff and go!

Know what?

This was worth it.

Your firm's as lousy as your broken executive chair!

Anyway, you can't fire me. - Yeah?

"Yeah?". I quit!

Great! I don't have to give you severance pay.

Huh? - I'll give you a nice reference.

If you don't get the 8,000 euros you owe me for the van

and put it on my desk by next week,

I'll see to it that you never work in the film industry again.

8,000 euros?

I didn't mean to... - Get out!

I'd like you to imagine this:

you're sitting with your dream woman

in a beautiful field of flowers.

The last rays of sunlight are turning the sky

into bronze-colored honey.

Bronze-colored honey? - Yes.

What's wrong with it? - Sounds shit.

Golden honey sounds better.

I've been thinking.

Let's start our own production firm,

like we were going to. "Mad Eagle" was just the beginning, dude!

Not that again. - Why the Jean Claude Van Damme not?

The important thing is: you deal with the creative shit and I...

do everything else.

Including the casting couch again.

You didn't raise one cent, Mr. Producer.

I was on the verge of securing a major deal!

If you hadn't started at the agency, we'd be raking it in now.

Oh, they've fired you.

That's why you're going on about that again.

Plus, you've bought alcohol-free beer.

Then let's go for a real afterwork drink.

No way! I've got to be fit for work tomorrow.

I'm in shock from being fired.

I bought alcohol-free beer.

One shot, here at home!

Grandpa, gimme another! Please!

You and your pal should go home. You've had enough.

I decide when I've had enough.

Yeah, but not here.

My joint, my rules. - But he's asleep, too.

That's Rainer the Eel: furniture. Scram!

And if I don't?

I'll teach you to fly without wings.

Another tray of Mexicans, please. - There's none left.

But for you, I'll mix some more.

A beer and a Mexican, Earl.

Hey, you lovely ladies!

Objection! - Sustained! - Hi, Martin.

Dude! - Everything OK?

You scared the hell out of me. - So how's it going?

Yeah... - Yeah?

It's going...

down the pan.

Mila's dreamed of this wedding since she was about 12.

It has to be perfect. There's so much to remember.

The right priest, a de-escalation-oriented seating plan.

One of Mila's aunts only eats stuff that falls from trees.

Does that mean I have to throw the suckling pig from a tree?

I can do the discofox.

It's one of seven dances I have to learn by Sunday.

Shit, you're totally fucked.

I love Mila. You know that, don't you?

Sure. Why?

I've screwed up. - What did you do?

The movie team backed out. It was the only thing I had to organize.

We wanted to have the whole wedding filmed by professionals.

How about another drink for you ladies?

You guys made that "Mad Eagle" film. - Yeah.

Couldn't you film our wedding?

You're wedding filmmakers?

How romantic is that?

Yeah, that's right.

I was just about to tell you.

Wedding film makers are in demand.

Right. It's peak season, all the teams are booked. I'd pay you.

We'll do it.

We can't let a friend down.

Can we, Lukas?

We'll do it: the whole enchilada.

From wedding vows to wedding night.

The wedding night?

You mean it? You really mean it?

I won't forget this!

Another round of Mexicans, ladies?

Wow, awesome! 1,000 Mexicans!

Mexicans all round!

Another tray! That was just the beginning!

Secure.

Fuck me sideways! Fromsbert.

That was a long time ago, Adam. My name's Rocko now.

Yeah, right. Fromsbert, Martin's brother.

What happened to you?

He was such a skinny little shit!

I work as a government bodyguard in high-risk areas:

Afghanistan, Libya, Iraq.

That's a souvenir from Yemen.

Today at 03:00 Bravo time you made a promise to my brother Martin. Sit.

Sit.

The top brass have asked me to be best man.

So I'm responsible for the accompanying areas of responsibility. One of which...

is the wedding movie.

It was just a ploy. - Really?

What did you think? - I meant it, Rocky.

You shook on it, so I'd say it's legally binding.

And as Martin's been getting you two out of legal scrapes for years, you owe it to him.

Martin's relying on you and he's posted it already.

In my profession, we call this the "point of no return."

I've got to go to work.

I worked for three days on what I'm about to show you. You'd better stay and watch.

Briefing: Martin is getting married on Sunday at 10:00 Bravo time.

To get everyone in the right mood, your film will be shown beforehand.

You'll find all the relevant info, such as timing and coordinates, in this handout.

Wow, our first commissioned film, Lukas.

By the way: cool presentation, Rocky.

Thanks. Fridge?

If this operation fails, I'll be wearing the brown helmet, so it's not an option.

Low-fat.

Perfect.

The whole works, huh?

Well...

Have fun.

I'd like you to imagine this:

you're sitting with a woman in a lovely field of flowers.

You look deep into each other's eyes.

The last suns contaminate the sky with bronze-colored...

With golden honey.

Busy as ever. Very authentic. I like!

Can I steal you for a sec?

We're right in the middle. - No problem.

Maurice is totally in the picture.

Come on.

Hi.

What was that all about?

A truly excellent Cohiba, Thierry. - You said it.

We know each other from the sauna. - It's a small world.

By the way.

Rocko has kindly drawn my attention

to the immense emotional pressure you're under.

And I have to admit, it hadn't escaped me.

You're pale, you're shaking and the dog doesn't like you.

We think a short vacation would do you good.

After all, you'll soon be a sheepdog, like me.

I can't use an emotional wreck. - But the Schätzing campaign was my idea.

The layout for the photo shoot, the website: all mine.

Maurice will take over. He's learned from the best: you.

His name is Moritz. He isn't Maurice.

Am I off the campaign now? - Listen.

When one door closes, another one opens somewhere else.

Anyway, you're lucky to have a friend like Rocko.

They're few and far between.

What a cute little fellow. - Isn't he just?

Shit!

That's sweet of you. Are they for me?

Thanks to you and Rocko they laid me off. Know what that means?

That we can help our frantic friend Martin.

I can't do it without you, Lukas.

I have something for you.

Dirk Kowalski's autograph.

That's it?

You pester me for weeks and now you're not pleased?

What's he like in person? - Totally cool.

Where'd you get the wheels? - The guy from the motorhome hire owed me.

Come on, I want to show you something.

Air conditioning, hands-free speakerphone, DVB-T tuner,

kitchen, toilet, shower, and a fully equipped

editing studio... Shit!

This is our new production van.

That's your cell. I've connected it to the speakerphone.

Oh, my head! Martin speaking. I just wanted to say I can't come today.

Hopefully I'll be fit again for the wedding in four days.

I don't want Mila to leave me standing at the altar like her ex.

I'm counting on you guys. - Relax, everything's under control.

We're interviewing the parents in 30 minutes. Over and out. Right.

OK, I'll drive. - Fine. I'll do our homework.

I've made us a really awesome mix tape.

Welcome to wedding hell!

And the devil wears Pr... - Protection vests.

Put these in the boathouse.

Martin isn't coming: he's sick in bed.

He can't take his drink anymore. You should let him off the leash more often.

He's a free agent.

At least on Mondays, that's girls' night. - Lucky guy!

Come on, we'll do the interviews in the lounge.

It's the only free space here at Knackstedt Castle.

Just one thing... - Who do I hear there?

For God's sake...

Good to see that the ravages of time are getting to you guys as well.

We're trying to age gracefully, like you.

Heinz-Dieter Knackstedt!

You're looking good! What's the secret?

Since I retired, I've found some new hobbies: golf, fishing, personal Pilates.

And a few old ones.

But not a word to Ingeborg. OK, let's get down to business.

Creation, production...

You get the other half when the movie's finished. OK.

OK, time for a sherry.

The film team is the best in the region.

Here they are!

Come in, guys.

Hi, Lukas.

Hi there, y'all! We're the team from...

French Fried Fur Films Ltd. Inc.,

your cinematic service from wedding vows to wedding night.

My esteemed colleague Lukas is a master cinematographer.

And I'm Adam, the go-to guy if good's not enough

and you want excellent... - Tone it down.

Lukas. Bückstedt, pleased to meet you. My wife Dietlinde.

Bückstedt and Knackstedt,

the perfect match, huh?

Are you famous?

I could swear I've seen you before.

I've run the Wild Mouse rollercoaster in Hamburg for 35 years.

And I'm eight-time champion on the high striker.

The rollercoaster man!

Please!

Do it just once. I'm a great admirer of your art.

Dad... - Please! Just once!

Step right up, folks!

Climb aboard for a ride that'll knock your socks off!

Here we go now!

Thaaaaaat's right!

Can you take any more, folks? The worst is yet to come!

If you want to win, win, win, go next door, you wimps!

This here is the Wiiiiiiiiiild Mouse!

Step right up, folks! Don't be shy now!

Scratch your balls, stroke your pussies, buy a ticket, don't be wussies!

Huge tits, wet piss flaps, you'll end up puking on your laps!

Ingeborg, stop making such a fuss!

Unbelievable!

Oh, Ingeborg! - And you can cut that out!

We're ready. - I can't do it, Lukas!

The fact that those carnies are marrying into our family is driving me crazy.

I wish I could say something brilliant, but I don't know them any better than you.

But I know Mila, and I know that Martin loves her.

His other girlfriends were a weird bunch.

Mary, Peggy, Nicki and Beate.

Mary was the cop with great...

With... Did breathalyzer tests in a sexy cop uniform.

You didn't like any of them. Rightly so.

Peggy thought sparrows were baby pigeons.

And Nicki almost starved to death trying to count the steps on an escalator.

Nicki was a gas!

Mila's different.

And if someone manages to raise such a sweet, loveable person,

then they can't be so bad.

Go on, give her a chance.

And that's for not being born 30 years sooner.

Women...

And action!

Heinz-Dieter...

What do you think about your new family member?

Well, I always wanted a daughter,

and Mila is terrific.

Our Martin is such a sweet-natured person. Believe me.

Safety: we don't always spell it right, but it's a big priority for us.

Mila and her Bertram always put it first. - Bertram?

Yes, Bertram. Good old Bertram.

Quantity isn't as important as...

the framework. Just like on a rollercoaster.

If the nuts and bolts are secure, the structure will stand for a lifetime.

It doesn't matter if you have a drooping plank now and then.

Dietlinde?

Go ahead. - She's mute.

That's all we need.

Then we don't need any sound.

I've got to go to my dance class. If there's a problem, call me.

Sure.

Now for the final question.

Mr. Bückstedt...

Or may I call you Willi? - Sure.

Was that the question? - No. Willi...

What advice would you give to your daughter,

the future Mila Knackstedt?

You mean the future Mila Bückstedt.

They intend to bear the proud name of Bückstedt.

I'm sorry?

What? You didn't know?

It must be a misunderstanding.

My son would never agree to being called Bückeburg. Bückstedt.

The name would die out otherwise. Mila is our only child.

That's the limit!

Martin would never take the name of gypsies.

Bückstedt: the very sound of it! - Bückstedt.

Let's all calm down. Would anyone like a...

sherry? - That's enough.

I've never had this in 35 years at the carnival.

We have a name for people like you.

Carnival cunt.

What?

What did you say to my wife?

Carnival cunt!

They're women who... - I know what it means.

Take that back or I'll get violent.

You'?

You wouldn't reach the limp-dick mark on the high striker!

Shit! The camera!

Give me covering fire! - What?

What with?

Shit...

8,000 EUROS!!! YOU SHIT STICK!

Did you know there were edible menu cards?

I was hit on the head with a fire extinguisher today. Yeah.

And I didn't abandon you. It's your fault I'm making this stupid film.

While "Maurice" saws away at my chair at the agency.

Relax, Lukas. It's turned out great.

Enjoying your beer? - Where did you come from?

Where I come from you'd be hung upside down...

Where I come from, dunderhead, you order a drink first

and don't take up other people's space.

Water.

Without gas.

Easy-peas)'-

Ingeborg needed eight stitches in her eyebrow.

And Willi's got a sherry glass in his thigh.

You should've known that your morn doesn't like Martin's new in-laws.

Rocky, without Lukas we wouldn't even have an interview.

So I should be grateful, huh?

You wussies should've mediated.

It took me half the afternoon to get things halfway under control.

Afghanistan in 2013 was a cinch in comparison.

Get your act together.

Or else we'll have a Code Red.

Exit?

Shit!

Well pick the dingle berries from my ass! He didn't pay!

It's OK, Earl.

Put it on our tab. - All right.

Hey, you. - Yeah?

I can see your dick. - What?

And two beers for the gals, please.

What was that? Earl, a tray of Mexicans.

And don't let me down, dude. We're partners now.

Hey, you lovely ladies. Ever had a Mexican?

Stop m.

Cut it out!

What was the address again?

No idea. Where's your handout?

"One day in the life of the bride. Meeting point: Seaview Restaurant."

"We also ask Adam

to look after the many sexually frustrated bridesmaids,

who need a producer." - No chance, like yesterday.

What? You've no idea.

"No chance," he says.

You mean "no chance" like this, dude?

Dude! What happened?

To be honest, I've no idea. Those fucking Mexicans!

So hold your fire today. - Or else?

I'll publically distance myself from you.

That means more for Daddy!

Adam? - Eileen.

You know each other?

Those are the guys with the Mexicans.

So you really do film weddings.

You two haven't changed a bit.

All you care about is who can lay the most women.

I don't know why Martin still hangs out with you.

We're sorry. We didn't know the girls were your bridesmaids. Honestly.

Today was important to me.

Now two of my bridesmaids can't sit upright because of you.

The third one had to sleep next to the john. I think she means Kathrin.

Getting the fitting for the wedding dress and the stylist on one day was so hard.

The Wedding's in three days and I don't even have the right shoes.

Swell, what you've gone and done.

That's all we need.

They look wonderful.

What? A fishtail dress is the worst thing for a bride's figure.

Her stylist must be blind.

An empire waist dress, an asymmetrical low-cut neckline

and a mint green veil. That's how I would've done it.

What? It's totally obvious.

That one looks good.

That's enough.

Do you have ginger beer?

Preferably...

OK, that'll do as well. And now a little ice,

some lime juice, a mint leaf and a fresh slice of cucumber.

We're out of limes.

The first Moscow Mule to be mixed at Earl's.

And the last. - Cheers.

Thanks for the tip about the mid-heels.

In pumps you'd never have got through the first dance.

Here's to a great style advisor! You should change jobs.

And abandon Lukas? No way.

What a relief! Cheers!

What are you drinking? - Moscow Mule.

Partners?

It's delicious.

Thanks for subbing for the girls. - Yeah, but don't spread it around.

It could ruin our reputation.

How many are coming to our premiere? - 150. But Martin's grandpa won't be there.

What? No Grandpa Knackstedt?

He's grounded for rioting in the old folks' home again.

Martin's really sad about it.

We're sorry.

But you're hair looks sensational, honestly.

Handsome man? - Lovely lady?

Why don't you come with us and we can carry on where we left off.

I'd love to, but I've stuff to do at the office.

I'm the producer and I have to take care of everything.

OK, sweetheart. Maybe next time, huh?

Next time definitely.

What's wrong with you, sweetheart?

That was a complimentary ticket.

Cut it out! - I never thought I'd see the day.

Lukas! Lukas, look!

We could use an electric callus remover, huh?

It's complete and utter junk.

What were you thinking?

On the handout it says: "Day with bridesmaids." Where are they?

If you screw up, I'll get the blame

and I can't disappoint Morn and Dad again!

The bridesmaids were sick.

We sacrificed ourselves for Mila. My colleague found the right shoes for her.

Fine. I'll come with you tomorrow.

We're re-enacting the marriage proposal and nothing must go wrong.

This film has top priority.

Departure time: tomorrow, 06:00 Zulu... Alpha... Bravo...

Tomorrow at six. Time for dinner now...

$was m.

Are you all right?

You called me your "colleague." - What?

"My colleague found the right shoes for Mila."

We're a good team, you must admit.

That's blatantly obvious.

So how was the spag bol?

Salty.

Did Martin tell you what happened when he actually proposed?

No. He was kind of embarrassed about it.

He got down on one knee to Mila and broke his kneecap.

So what's the plan, guys? - We... - I have it!

Mila, investigative journalist,

falls into the hands of rebels abroad and is tortured and fuck...

Martin, elite special forces soldier,

knows that negotiating is useless.

He and his men attack the rebel camp and he rescues Mila from a blazing house.

In an Airwolf, they fly under the radar into the sunset.

Aboard the world's most lethal helicopter, he proposes to her.

That's totally awesome. - Yeah...

It's pretty close.

You cannot be serious.

Guys, how cool is that?

I thought I was supposed to rescue Mila from a blazing house.

This is terrific!

Where were you yesterday? We missed you.

Smoothie?

Pity. We could've used a judge for our wet T-shirt contest.

Know how she earned money at college?

Private pole dancing. You'll get your fingers burned.

That's an awesome cliché.

I need a bit more smoothie.

I'd say this is wild boar territory.

We don't want any uninvited guests.

Just a minute!

Here comes our special guest.

What is it?

That, my friend...

is Bertram.

Bertram! - That's Bertram?

Hi! - He looks kinda sick.

Her old pal from the pony show.

I thought Mila would like him to be in the film.

I just hope he likes me.

Once again, everybody, scene one.

Mila dismounts, Martin gives her his hand in gentlemanly fashion,

you gaze into each other's eyes.

You're pretty... thingummy... in love.

And Rocko, keep your distance, otherwise you'll be in the picture.

Bless you. - Thank you.

Any questions? - What should I do, Adam?

Watch the monitor and make sure nothing goes wrong.

OK? - OK, boss.

She said "boss." If she was at my place, I'd butter her muffin.

Let go of the button, everyone can hear you.

Shit!

Places everyone, the camera's rolling

and...

And action. - Action!

Help! Bertram! Stop!

That's enough!

Shit!

Leave me alone, Martin.

I don't know what to say, Lukas.

First you start a family feud, then you get the bridesmaids drunk,

then you almost get Mila killed.

Martin, I'm really sorry.

Why did that dumb-ass scream into the megaphone?

You know what Adam's like.

I wish I'd never gone to Earl's.

Fucking Mexicans!

Bring me the footage you've already shot by tomorrow.

You're not going to film one more second of my wedding.

It's the very first thing we learned at the academy.

Quiet loners are the greatest danger, the perfect assassins.

We're still talking about a pony, aren't we?

How could I miss it?

Calm down. This happens to me all the time.

You can't compare us two.

You're totally irresponsible and depend on your friends.

At least I have friends.

I'll lose my post as best man.

We'll finish the film whatever happens. Trust us.

The film will be totally awesome.

I think awesome would be sufficient. - Yeah, awesome!

Fuck!

It's Lukas's cell. It must be them.

Lukas? - Great news, Lukas.

Late news? - Your vacation's over. Come straight here.

What? - Yes, we need you here.

And not as a sheep,

but as a sheepdog.

I'm sitting here with Peter. - A dog called Peter?

We've decided to give the campaign back to you. OK, nuff said.

Great, I'll... - Bertram!

The terrier's taken the bait.

Did you see its stupid mug?

Totally suicidal beast: danger level one!

Let's get out of here.

It doesn't matter if you have a drooping plank now and then.

Hi! Everything OK? - No, everything's down the pan.

Martin's fired us and I don't blame him.

Why did you have to scream into the megaphone?

Sure! Now it's my fault again...

It's a miracle the horse didn't have a heart attack.

I thought Bertram was deaf, he looked so old.

It was your idea to include the pony.

Terroristic loners are the biggest danger. - What?

I'm the only one here who has any ideas.

Without me Mila would have no wedding outfit. Who got the bridesmaids drunk?

You're a slob, Adam. And that's why

I don't want to make this fucking movie with you.

What?

Give me the camera.

No.

Now!

Dude, give me the camera.

Get out of my room.

Your room, huh? - I knew you'd do this.

Fuck!

Yeah'? - Adam, where's my dough?

Wolfgang! You'll get your money.

Bring me the 8,000 by Monday or...

I've got a surefire thing going... - I don't care what you've got going!

OK, Wolfgang. Have a nice evening.

Fuck you, assho... - What? What did you say?

DIRK KOWALSKI VANISHED!

Where are we going?

If Grandpa Knackstedt can't come to the wedding,

at least he can send a message to his grandson.

If the Wedding's still on. - The old guy, exclusively for our film.

Brilliant! Yeah!

That's why you're the driver.

Yep. Because you always have such good ideas.

You've got thirty minutes.

Mr. Knackstedt?

We're friends of Martin.

We've heard you can't come to the wedding.

They're keeping me prisoner here!

What for?

You don't need to shout! I'm not deaf!

I played strip poker.

With Hilda, in the day room.

Horny Hilda, huh? - Wow, you know what I'm talking about!

The old gal's gone a bit soft in the head.

And Bingo Herbert from Block C accused me of cheating.

He's just jealous, the randy old goat!

But you did cheat, right?

Not necessary.

The old gal hasn't got a clue how to play poker.

What are you two doing here?

We're making Martin's wedding movie.

We thought you might say a few nice words.

Nice words are for funerals.

Or for the whorehouse, if the price is right.

We're doing this for Martin.

Your grandson, who loves you.

He loves me?

If he loved me, he wouldn't let me rot here.

It's true, isn't it?

It was a dumb idea, Adam. Let's go... - No, wait.

We'd like to...

make a deal with you, Friedhelm. - A deal?

Well, I never!

A deal...

My oh my! Is that disinfectant or is someone wearing 4711'?

This is Eileen, Isa and Kathrin.

They're all trained nurses.

I'll bet they are!

They're the hottest act around.

Their shows are legendary. But first...

A few nice words for the happy couple.

You've got to hand it to the motherfucker.

He knows how to strike a deal.

Visiting hours are over.

You can look, but don't touch.

What a brilliant idea.

I'd love to be him now. - Would be great for the film.

You might have the best ideas, but I have the connections.

That's teamwork, dude.

I'm sorry about this morning, it was...

I was a dick to drive off without you.

After yesterday, I wouldn't have blamed you if you'd run me down.

You can sleep at my place as long as you want.

And about the megaphone...

I was buzzing, man. And I wanted to be loud and clear.

You certainly were.

I've got a better idea for our production company.

Adaluks Film.

Great name. - It just came to me.

And I can get us some cheap business cards.

We should get going.

Right.

Can't we come up with a better running gag?

Do you hear that?

It's probably just another polecat caught in the fan belt.

It'll go soft eventually. - No.

It's coming from above. - From above?

Now it's stopped.

What the hell are you staring at?

You can walk? - Of course I can!

The wheelchair was just a cover. I've been knocking for 20 kilometers!

Are you deaf?

What are you doing here? - And where are the girls?

Eileen...

My little hottie.

I wish we'd met under different circumstances.

I'll strangle you!

You can't imagine what I've been through!

These two scoundrels cold bloodedly kidnapped me!

Shut it! We've strict instructions not to believe a word you say.

This is outrageous!

Control?

Control?

Oh, hello, Uwe. - Marion. - Hi, there.

Uwe...

Registered vehicle owner check, please.

For HH-FU 79.

Just a sec, Uwe, dear.

There's something fishy going on. - I agree.

We call him Berni the Beak. He can smell trouble a mile away.

We think it's a dead pole... - This is Marion. - Go ahead.

The vehicle was reported stolen two days ago.

Huh? I thought you'd borrowed it!

Be careful, Berni! - Calm down, Lukas!

For fuck's sake, Adam!

Berni!

Shit!

Isn't that Dirk Kowalski?

I should've let you two rot in there.

They've dropped the murder charge.

Kowalski died of a heart attack caused by stress. I'm about to do the same.

Why did you kidnap my grandpa?

We didn't kidnap him... - In a stolen motorhome? Are you nuts?

I... - I What?

They've seized the motorhome as evidence.

And the camera? Gone. All for nothing because of you putzes.

I don't know how I'm going to explain it to Mila and my family.

Stay away from our wedding. You've done enough damage.

I never want to see you again.

We drove around for days in a stolen motorhome with the dead Dirk Kowalski.

It wasn't stolen, I borrowed it. - Without telling anyone?

I screwed up on set

and now I owe the fucking producer 8,000 euros.

I need the money from the wedding movie. - Unbelievable.

And you told me it was to help our frantic friend Martin.

I can forget my promotion now.

Your boss called yesterday when you were in the ambulance. What?

Something about a sheepdog and a guy called Peter... The Schätzing campaign?

And you're telling me now? - I forgot!

The pony distracted me... - It was important!

Calm down! You didn't want the job anyway. - Are you trying to fuck me over?

You forgot on purpose.

You didn't want to be left alone with the movie.

No, Lukas! I just forgot about it! - Bullshit, Adam!

Unlike you, I'd never let you down!

You've been at my place for over two years!

Because your ex was fed up of such a...

A what?

A career-obsessed dick with a huge great stick up his ass!

I'll move out tomorrow.

I wanted our production company just as much as you.

Till I noticed what a lousy business partner you are.

You never finish anything. You're totally irresponsible.

Everything you touch turns to shit.

Grow up!

Right. Go fetch coffee for your Thierry!

You're just a little coffee boy, Lukas!

Shit!

Fuck!

Thierry!

Lukas! My God.

It's our black sheep.

I thought you'd left the herd.

What's that? Is it vintage?

It's a long story.

What about the Schätzing campaign? - Dead.

What? - For Maurice. Burnout.

I'm here to rejoin the herd.

Please, Thierry.

I won't allow you to rejoin the herd.

You're now a sheepdog. - Huh? - That's right.

You're Senior Creative Art Director.

You're the boss. You've worked for this for years.

Shooting begins tomorrow, using your plan. - Tomorrow? - Yes.

And afterwards we'll enjoy these two beauties.

Conference call in 30 minutes. Come on, gee up! Gee up!

Casual, all-weather. We don't know how long the campaign will run.

Chinos and a T-shirt in petrol to match his eyes.

I said twice as much equipment. We want the set to look good.

You can't be serious.

The picnic blanket can't be blue. That's our competitor's Cl color!

This time I've really screwed up.

I'll let you in on a little secret.

The night I took the photo, we were nowhere near the 1,000th Mexican.

I lied.

Because my gut feeling said: "if those two work together, it'll be a good thing."

You were wrong. - I fucking wasn't!

Show Lukas that you can finish a job.

Otherwise you'll end up like Rainer the Eel.

You'll end up part of the furniture in a dive like this.

Thanks.

Now it'll either get better or even more fucked up.

Helge was talking baloney at lunch.

Jeez, the gate's really stiff, Berni.

It needs greasing. - It's rusty.

Let me try.

It's all rusted up. And the bolt's bust.

The bolt's bust. That's better!

Brilliant. Now we're stuck here.

My brother-in-law had a similar problem with his gate.

But eventually it came unstuck on its own.

How? - Simple.

He just shut it real hard as often as he could.

A bit harder.

Hopeless.

Uwe, the whole thing's bent out of shape.

OK, I'll give it a try. Just let me try once, OK?

Careful.

Hopeless. We'll see to it tomorrow, OK?

Listen, is it after midnight already? - Yep.

At Erna's Cafe there's ground pork rolls from yesterday at half price.

Who's coming? - Count me in!

Ground pork rolls! - We've earned it.

Uwe! Ground pork rolls at half price!

Shit!

Shit!

Oh, fucking shit!

Sorry I'm late.

Great. - You worked all night? - On a few changes.

But now we've distilled the essence of the best.

Your campaign's going to be...

great. - Wonderful.

You know what, Lukas? I've decided to shoot the ad myself.

Mr. Schätzing is one of our most esteemed clients.

Flattery will get you everywhere, Thierry. - What?

Go get yourself a coffee. The guys are still setting up.

For me a cappuccino and for Peter an espresso with three sugars and no milk.

You remembered. - Of course.

Come on, I'll show you everything. We'll start in front...

They found him in his motorhome: heart attack.

Here one minute, gone the next.

Adam drove around with the corpse for a week.

Our Sweetie Boy? Bigmouth Adam'?

Do you know why they fired him? - Because he rammed the van.

That was covered by the insurance. No, the producer fired him

just for getting Dirk Kowalski's autograph. - I don't believe it. The asshole!

Are you talking about Adam?

Black hair,

big mouth, hits on anything with a pulse?

That's our Adam. Do you know him?

Yeah, he got the autograph for me.

Well, you can be sure it's really worth something now.

Bad luck, Coffee Boy.

What? Lukas?

What are you doing?

Fetch your own coffee. I've got something better to do.

If you shoot off out of here, you're fired!

Good idea, Thierry.

Morning, Lukas. You're up early. Can't you sleep?

How about a Moscow Mule?

I'm practicing a bit, expanding my portfolio.

No, thanks. Have you seen Adam?

Not since your fight. - Did he say where he was going?

He isn't answering his cell, he's not at home.

He hit on some idea, something to do with these pictures.

He wanted to go to Mallorca?

No, to Salzgitter. - Weird, huh?

The motorhome. Thanks, Earl.

Motorhome?

Dumb-ass.

What are you doing here?

I wanted to tell you that you were right about my job.

And I'm sorry about what I said yesterday.

So you're not moving out? - Not yet.

Don't tell me you want to make out now. - No tongues?

That's enough.

What are you doing here?

I wanted to get the camera and our footage

then I couldn't get out...

And then I did this: our first wedding movie.

Whatever's on it, I'm dying to see it.

Lukas, Adam!

Is Mila with you? She's not here and war's broken out!

Bückstedt, secure the right flank!

I don't know how long we can guarantee Martin's safety!

I know where she is. - The door's blocked.

Then like in the old days. - Right.

Halt! - Shit, Lukas.

Shit!

Guys, leave those two to Bernd and me.

The spare key.

Expanding your portfolio, huh?

Where is she? - I don't know what you're talk...

With Rainer the Eel.

Don't come any closer. - Mila?

This wedding is a complete disaster.

I look totally disfigured.

Maybe it was all a mistake.

Mila, I know it hasn't always been easy for you, but...

We don't have time for this.

Come on!

Shit! Them again.

Bertram!

Poor guy...

Come on, chin up.

We'll wait.

You can't beat a stylish entrance.

I think we have a situation.

Lukas! - Adam!

Where are you? - I don't know!

I told you this clan would only bring trouble.

Mila, come out!

Heinz-Dieter, really.

Adam, there you are.

Where's Lukas?

Finish it, Adam!

Just a minute!

The wedding movie.

Right...

Give it to me.

Here we go everybody! Step right up now! Step right up!

Here we go!

It's show time!

You look terrific, Mrs. Knackstedt.

That's good. Carry on, it's awesome.

Dear Martin, dear Mila.

When I first met your grandmother Lydia, my beloved Lydi,

God rest her soul,

she was working in a raffle ticket booth at the Hamburg Port Anniversary.

I knew right away that she was the first prize.

So I bought all the raffle tickets

and offered to treat her to a fish roll with my last mark.

Now, she didn't like fish

but nevertheless I'd won her heart.

You never know where love is going to strike,

and if you find it, you should never let it go again.

So on that note,

I wish you both the very best.

From the bottom of my heart.

Watch out, Willi. This is the best part. - One more thing.

And never forget, my dear Martin,

that you measure a person by the quality of their friends.

And looking at your friends Lukas and Adam,

I'd say you've done nothing wrong.

Was that OK?

The last shot was a bit long,

but apart from that, not bad, dear colleague.

Hey, cutie-pie.

A brilliant advertising ploy.

Eight new inquiries this week alone.

What's with the glasses? - It's my new business look.

Cool, huh?

This stuffs totally disgusting, isn't it?

Maybe we should drink kümmel instead.

Scram! That's enough for today.

Subtitling by SUBS Hamburg Michael Hale

www.fmsubs.com