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STUDIO 24 PRESENTS

A PIGEON SAT ON A BRANCH REFLECTING ON EXISTENCE

THE FINAL PART OF A TRILOGY ABOUT BEING A HUMAN BEING

THREE MEETINGS WITH DEATH

MEETING WITH DEATH NO. 1

MEETING WITH DEATH NO. 2

- Hello. - Hi.

My mom is in here, I'm her eldest son.

Your siblings are in there, and you're welcome to join them.

Thanks a lot, I'm a little late too.

- No worries. - Thanks a lot.

- Hello. - Hello.

How are things progressing?

The doctor said nothing will happen tonight.

So we could go home, he said.

What's this? The handbag?

How did she get it?

- Who brought it here? - I did.

- Why? - Mom wanted me to.

- What do you mean, "wanted"? - She wanted me to.

She thinks she can take the handbag with her to heaven.

Yes, she really wants to take it with her.

You look drunk.

And you're mean as always.

Well, well.

You know what's in that bag, don't you?

Sure.

All her jewellery.

Dad's gold watch,

wedding ring and cuff links.

And I know there's an envelope, too.

With the money she made from the car.

- More than $70,000! - Yes, I know.

There is no way.

We just can't leave it here.

- You have to understand that? - You're welcome to try.

I know you're going to heaven, mom.

You were always kind...

just like dad.

He's there now...

waiting for you.

He wasn't allowed to take his gold watch.

There you go.

You don't get to take this to heaven, mom.

No, you don't.

It's not allowed.

You will get new jewellery in heaven.

You don't get to take this!

That's not the way things work!

ENCONTRO COM A MORTE Nº 3

This doesn't look good.

No.

Is there any use calling for a helicopter?

No.

He's gone.

We've been trying to revive him...

for half an hour.

There's just no way.

He's dead as a stone.

Well then,

we'll need a stretcher...

and then take him to a vacant cabin.

- If there is an empty cabin. - Yes, there is.

- May I ask a question? - Go ahead.

What do we do with this now?

What do you mean?

Well, he's already paid.

Good question.

We can't charge for it twice.

- Try giving it away. - Yes, alright.

Does anybody want this?

A shrimp sandwich with a draught beer, for free.

I can take the beer.

Go ahead, sir.

Thanks a lot.

Yes.

I'm happy to hear you're doing fine.

I'm happy to hear you're doing fine!

Yes.

Well, hello.

Maybe you recognize me.

Some of you might.

I'm a sea captain, or rather I used to be.

For nearly 15 years....

I captained one of our larger ferries.

But not anymore.

I had to quit,

because I felt dizzy every time we left shore.

A form of seasickness, you could say.

So now I'm here.

The thing is my sister's husband,

my brother-in-law, as they call it,

is ill.

He's a hairdresser, this is his salon.

I've promised

to help him run it until he feels better.

Try to, at least.

I kind of learned to cut hair in the military.

It's been many years now, but I do remember some of it.

I'll try at least.

Do the best I can.

What more can you do?

Hello?

Yes

I'm happy to hear you're doing fine.

I said I'm happy to hear you're doing fine!

- Hello, Nathan. - Hello.

- How are things? - I shouldn't complain.

- There are people worse off. - That's true.

I thought you were getting a haircut?

But you haven't?

- Maybe not. - Why not?

- I don't want to talk about it. - Why not?

- I don't feel like it, alright? - Why are you so angry?

I'm not angry.

Sure you are. What have I done wrong?

You're acting like a crybaby again.

What have I done wrong?

What's happened? Why is he sad?

It's nothing. He's just a damn crybaby.

Could I buy him a beer, perhaps?

He shouldn't drink right now. We're off on a customer visit.

- What line of work are you in? - In the entertainment business.

We sell novelty items.

We want to help people have fun.

- What funny stuff do you have? - Vampire teeth.

Vampire teeth?

They've been popular a long time now.

We also sell these laugh bags.

It's a classic.

Then, there's a new item we have a lot of faith in.

- Should I show him? - Yes, I think so.

The Uncle One-Tooth.

Hello, Ove Bergius here.

How are you doing?

I just wanted to check with you

about a possible misunderstanding.

I've misinterpreted the date.

And quite possibly the time, too.

I suspect this may well be the case.

I'm outside the restaurant.

I've been in and asked them several times

if someone has called

about a cancellation.

But they say no one has.

I'm sure it's a misunderstanding on my part.

That's probably it, unfortunately.

Well...

Could you possibly confirm if I was the one

who has made a mistake and got the date wrong

and maybe the time as well?

You can leave a message on my answering machine...

in case I don't pick up.

I'm so sorry if this is an inconvenience to you.

I wouldn't want that.

Thanks a lot.

Bye.

Yes?

We would like to show you some of our products.

Okay.

One of our best selling items for a while now...

are these vampire teeth...

With...

extra long fangs.

Could you show him, please?

That's enough.

Enough, he's seen it already.

Why are you so angry?

He's a little sensitive.

No I'm not, it's you being mean all the time.

Then there's this true classic,

the laugh bag.

It always brings out smiles at parties,

either at home or in the office.

We want to help people have fun.

And then there's this new item we have a lot of faith in.

The Uncle One-Tooth.

Yes.

Excuse me. How much is this one?

Listen guys, I don't think this is for us, really.

But thanks for stopping by.

Thank you.

You have no messages.

Would you like another one?

Would you like another one?

- Would you like another one? - Yes, of course I do.

- He's hard of hearing, poor man. - He should be grateful.

That way he won't have to listen to all the bullshit.

A bit a moody today, Gunnar?

What else could I be?

He's been a regular here...

for more than 60 years, I think.

That's a lot of shots.

Yes, quite a few.

What would life be without a shot...

or two?

- A horrible thought. - Damn straight.

A shilling for a shot glass is the price you have to pay

A shilling for a shot glass is the price you have to pay

A shilling for a shot glass is the price you have to pay

At the Halta Lotta's Krog in Gothenburg

We with pockets without shillings

We with pockets without shillings

How can we pay if we are willing

At the Halta Lotta's Krog in Gothenburg?

How can we pay if we are willing

How can we pay if we are willing

We with pockets without shillings

At the Halta Lotta's Krog in Gothenburg?

With kisses you shall pay

if you are willing

With kisses you shall pay

if you are willing

With kisses you shall pay

if you are willing

At the Halta Lotta's Krog

in Gothenburg

With kisses we shall pay since we are willing

With kisses we shall pay since we are willing

With kisses we shall pay since we are willing

At the Halta Lotta's Krog in Gothenburg

Good night, Arne.

Good night, Arne!

Good night!

- What? - Good night!

Good night.

I'm happy to hear you're doing fine.

I'm happy to hear you're doing fine!

Yes.

Do you want to say anything?

Tell them I'm also happy to hear they're doing fine.

He says he's also happy to hear you're doing fine.

Yes.

I caught it!

Yes, that's correct.

On April 16th,

you received two 10-packs of vampire teeth, standard size,

and three 10-packs with extra long fangs.

Yes, that is correct.

You also received six Uncle One-Tooth.

I see three. Have you sold the others?

Yes, we have.

- That was a while ago. - Indeed.

- We haven't received payment. - Indeed.

Why not?

I'm not sure.

Just a moment. I'll ask my husband.

He says you'll have it by next week.

- We don't believe that. - No, we don't.

- We've sent four reminders. - Indeed.

And we've called your answering machine over and over again.

- We won't accept this. - No, we won't.

Wait, I'll talk to my husband again.

Just make them go away!

This won't do! We won't accept this.

I have no money!

- I have no money! - Then we'll take the masks back.

- We will take the masks. - Please, don't.

I have no money!

Now it's Wilma's turn.

Welcome Wilma.

Stand right here.

- How do you feel? - Fine.

Good.

- What are you doing for us? - Reading a poem.

A poem? Okay.

- And who taught you that? - I did myself.

You learned the poem yourself?

That was very good of you.

- What's the poem about? - A bird.

It's about a bird?

- What kind of bird? - A pigeon.

About a pigeon!

- And what did the pigeon do? - It sat on a branch.

It sat on a branch?

- What did it do on the branch? - It rested and reflected.

It rested and reflected?

- What did the pigeon reflect on? - The fact that it had no money.

- What was that? - The fact that it had no money.

That it had no money? Gosh.

- What happened then? - It flew home.

And then it flew home? I see.

- Then the poem ends. - And then the poem ends?

What a beautiful poem.

I say we give Wilma a warm applause!

What the hell do you want?

- We're sort of lost. - What? Turn the music down.

- What was that? - We're lost.

- What do you mean, "lost"? - We don't know where we are.

No?

We're looking for an address that doesn't seem to exist.

Indeed.

We have the directions, but they seem completely off.

Yeah, it's all wrong.

We're looking for a store called Party.

Yeah. The owner is called Bengtsson.

He owes us money.

Yeah, $13,800.

Really? What line of work are you in?

- The entertainment business. - Indeed.

We sell novelty items.

We want to help people have fun.

So what kind of stuff are you selling?

- We can show you. - Alright.

One of our best selling items for a while now

are these vampire teeth with extra long fangs.

Then there's the classic laugh bag.

Known to bring out a smile at parties,

both at home or in the office.

We want people to have a good time.

Then there's a new item we have a lot of faith in.

The Uncle One-Tooth.

You there, get out.

You! No women in the establishment.

Out!

No women in the establishment!

Listen up, goddammit.

No women in the establishment!

Out!

Out, damn it!

Provosts, forward!

Let that man taste the whip.

Show respect to His Majesty the King.

That's right.

His Majesty the King is thirsty.

Very thirsty.

His Majesty wants something to drink.

That's right.

- Beer perhaps? - No.

His Majesty prefers water.

Excuse me, sparkling water?

- Mineral water? - Affirmative.

His Majesty the King would appreciate it...

if that young man

filled the glass for His Majesty the King.

That was good.

Splendid.

Now that sly Russians will receive a proper walloping.

- They deserve to. - Yes, your Majesty.

His Majesty thinks...

a man that young and handsome belongs to the battlefield.

You can sleep in the King's tent.

- Captain Bjälke! - Yes, Lieutenant Colonel!

His Majesty the King wishes to hear a song.

- Carry out! - Yes, Lieutenant Colonel!

- Lieutenant Flask! - Yes, Captain!

- Carry out marching song! - Yes, Captain!

Company, marching song!

One, two, three, four...

The army of Charles XII is a hundred thousand strong

The army of Charles XII is a hundred thousand strong

The army of Charles XII is a hundred thousand strong

as he's marching through smoke

on his road so long

Why can't we come in?

Only tenants have access.

Those are the rules.

Sorry.

But they are here.

- Hello. - Hello.

I'm sure you know why we are here.

Yes.

Who's signature is this?

It's mine.

Do you understand what it is you've signed?

Well, yes.

It's an agreement, a contract.

You're required to declare sales every month.

You haven't. Why not?

We've had some bad luck lately.

My partner had an accident.

He stepped out in the street without looking

and got hit.

By a bicycle.

He hasn't been able to walk since then.

And I haven't been in the best of my health either.

We don't care about your health.

We want to be paid for our products.

- We're a bit short of money. - Indeed.

We've been down on our luck.

Indeed.

We've been dealing with people who don't pay.

Just like you two bastards!

- Can you open the door? - You're not getting in here.

- Why not? - You're drunk.

I haven't been drinking.

I can smell it from a mile away.

- I just wanted to take a nap. - Come back once you are sober.

You know the rules.

I haven't had a drop all day!

Damn.

- Rules are meant to be followed. - Exactly.

Pay us what you owe us.

You have fourteen days.

Then there won't be fun and games anymore!

- Did you understand? - Yes.

It won't be fun and games anymore.

It won't be fun and games anymore.

Understood?

I was supposed to attend a lecture tonight.

Major-General Sandberg...

would talk about orderly withdrawal.

But when I got there,

it was cancelled, of course.

I left home...

early, of course.

I wanted to catch the 7:22pm bus.

It started raining, of course...

and I had no umbrella, of course.

So I decided to hurry back home and get it...

of course.

I figured it would be there.

But it wasn't, of course.

On my way to the bus stop the rain got even heavier,

and I got soaking wet, of course.

Next to the bus stop I saw it stoping...

and leaving me behind.

So I missed it.

Of course.

So I had to walk my way,

of course.

When I arrived...

not a single person was there, of course.

Just a note on the door...

saying it had been cancelled.

It was very unfortunate, of course.

I'm happy to hear you're doing fine.

I'm happy to hear you're doing fine.

Hi.

What are you doing?

Listening to this song.

It's so beautiful...

but horribly sad too.

What's horrible about it?

What he sings at the end.

That he's going to heaven to meet his parents.

How horrible.

- Then why listen to it? - I can't help it.

I've tried to stop, but I can't.

You need to see a doctor.

This is not normal.

I'm actually worried about you.

So am I.

What's going on?

He can't get this song out of his head.

- Do you feel troubled, Jonathan? - Yes.

What's troubling you?

That I will have to meet my parents again.

I don't get it.

My parents were very kind.

But I don't want to meet them again in heaven.

Do you have to?

I hope not.

Shut the door if you're playing music this late.

Some people get up early for work tomorrow.

I've come to realize something.

I realize I've been greedy my whole life.

Ungenerous.

And that's why I've become so unhappy.

I've been greedy all my life.

Ungenerous.

And that's why I've become so unhappy.

Show respect to His Majesty the King!

His Majesty the King needs to use your bathroom.

- Where is it? - The green door, over there.

Your Majesty, allow me to inspect it.

Your Majesty, I'm afraid it's taken.

Too bad.

- Half the kingdom is lost. - Yes, Your Majesty.

If we had only had more horses...

And if it hadn't rained...

Rained? Did it rain?

I don't think so, but it could have.

You never know what that sly Russians are up to.

If they hadn't armed themselves in secret, that sly Russians,

we would have beaten them.

They armed themselves in secret.

They must have.

Is that so?

You were widowed at Poltava.

You were widowed at Poltava.

A widow's veil was your gift.

You were widowed at Poltava.

A widow's veil was your gift, too.

You were all widowed at Poltava.

Widows' veils were your gifts.

The army of Charles XII was a hundred thousand strong

The army of Charles XII was a hundred thousand strong

The army of Charles XII was a hundred thousand strong

as he marched

through smoke on his road so long

What now?

- "What now?" - Yes.

I'm the one who's hurt. I'm supposed to wait for you?

No, what do you mean?

You're too slow.

You look like you're sleeping while you walk.

You walk like a goddam zombie. Like this...

No, I don't.

I walked like this...

casually.

You contradict whatever I say.

- No, I don't. - You just did it again.

You do it all the time.

I'm getting bloody tired of it.

And you have no business sense.

All we have are debts.

- But it was your idea. - My idea?

What the hell does it matter? You have no business sense anyway.

I'm so damn tired of all this crap.

I don't want to do this anymore.

But it was your idea.

It was your idea.

It was your idea.

It was your idea!

It was your idea.

She had stone in her shoe.

She had stone in her shoe.

- Yes, I saw that. - That was nice.

What's nice about a stone in your shoe?

It was nice when she took it out.

If you don't mind me asking...

Could I interest you in some novelty items?

I have a vampire teeth you can have at half price.

You have no messages.

Jonathan.

Jonathan.

Listen, I'm sorry. Very sorry.

Can you hear me? I'm sorry.

I've been mean. I know that.

I regret it, Jonathan.

I really do.

Forgive me, Jonathan.

Can you forgive me?

It would make me happy if you did, Jonathan.

I want us to be friends again.

You're the only friend I have, Jonathan.

Otherwise, I'd be so lonely.

That can't be.

We have to stick together.

You've been mean.

I know, Jonathan.

- But I won't be from now on. - Good.

We should get some sleep now, Jonathan.

So we can do big business tomorrow.

Good night.

Can you be quiet down there?

Some people get up early for work tomorrow.

Today I feel kind.

Damn kind.

Yes.

Well, here we have only 3°C.

Yes.

I'm happy to hear you're doing fine.

I said I'm happy to hear you're doing fine.

Yes.

What now?

What's wrong?

I thought of something horrible.

Something horrible.

And I was involved.

- Involved in what? - That horrible thing.

Explain yourself.

Have you been dreaming? Was it a dream?

I'm not sure.

But it felt like it had happened.

That's what scares me.

It was so horrible!

And no one has asked for forgiveness, not even me.

No one has asked for forgiveness.

So what happened?

It's so horrible I don't dare telling.

Then don't, you stubborn fool.

I can't make sense of you.

We're supposed to do business tomorrow, we've decided.

Don't you want to help people have fun?

Yes, I know.

Crybaby.

Is it right using people only for your own pleasure?

Is it right using people only for your own pleasure?

What the hell are you doing?

Is it right using people only for your own pleasure?

I don't understand what you're getting at.

He's just being a little philosophical.

Alright.

But should we discuss this in the middle of the night?

Some people get up early for work tomorrow.

Good night then.

Good night.

And it's already Wednesday again.

- Is it Wednesday today? - Yes.

Is it Wednesday today?

It is.

I could swear it was Thursday.

But it's not.

- It sure isn't. - No.

But it felt like Thursday.

You can't feel what day it is.

That's impossible.

You have to keep track of that.

Yesterday was Tuesday...

today is Wednesday.

And tomorrow will be Thursday.

If you don't keep track of that, chaos will reign.

That's right.

And the Wednesday is already gone...

Bye.

Translation: Orvar Säfström www.undertext.se

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