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Previously on amc's "preacher"...
You sent him back to hell. He's gone.
I'm offering you access to our power,
Information.
Reach. Tell me you're not intrigued.
Who doesn't belong in hell?
We'll find you. Trust me, eugene.
I want to help you.
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what's your name, boy?
Jesse.
Jesse who?
Jesse...
Custer!
Put him back.
No, don't! Please!
Don't! No!
please, let me out!
No, please!
Please, no! Stop!
please! Let me out!
Let me out!
let me out! Let me out!
After everything he did...
You put him in the goddamn swamp?!
He can't hurt anyone from in there.
You lied, jesse.
I'm sorry.
You still lied.
Well, you lied, too.
When?
"when?" you want a list?
How about, as a for instance, when you got married?
You said you understood about that!
I do understand, but now i need you to understand me.
Why didn't you send him to hell?
I couldn't do that to another soul.
He can't get out.
What is it?
Hoover. Flufferman.
It's featherstone, sir.
He and his girlfriend are driving back from the swamps now.
Having her find the weapons was a good idea.
So, she saw the empty truck and she was...?
Very unhappy.
Good. That's a start.
Question, sir?
All this seems like a lot of trouble.
Can't we just kill custer?
I'm not a homosexual.
Oh. No. Of course not, sir.
You're the pinnacle of masculinity.
No one would ever question --
What did you do this time?
I apologize.
Sir, i assumed that
When you requested prostitutes, that...
Should i get you a refund?
You're missing the point, hoover.
The tarp, then, sir?
Yes, as much as i would enjoy
Seeing your insides spread out before me
Like a buffet breakfast in a five-star hotel,
My time with those rough-handed hooligans
Gave me a new... Perspective on things.
The tarp will have to wait.
For what's to come, i need you both alive.
Thank you, sir. What's to come, sir?
The messiah is a moron.
I understand you may find this disappointing
Since you've devoted your entire lives to serving him,
But i've seen monkeys in heat with more grace and dignity.
But not to worry. I'm plotting a coup.
My plan is to replace the moron with jesse custer
And bring real order and control to the world.
I'd like you both to join me. What do you say?
The messiah is a moron?
Uh, brilliant, sir. I like it a lot.
And no doubt, custer has excellent qualifications,
But may i ask, has he agreed to this plan?
Not yet, but he will.
He doesn't know it yet, but i have what he wants.
So considering the alternative is summary execution,
I assume you both are with me.
Absolutely, sir.
Good. Go.
Yes?
I'm sorry about the -- the...
T-the men.
I'll have to live with that memory
For the rest of my life.
About my new assignment, sir, i have some trepidations.
Go on.
Well, maybe i'm being tough on myself,
But i'm just not, uh...
I'm not sure i'm the best person for this job.
I'm sure you're not.
But the smart one is busy, and you're all i've got left,
So get to it.
And, hoover.
Let's pray it doesn't come down to you.
Yes, sir.
I've seen enough.
Whew!
I did good. Right?
I'm the one who's not supposed to be here?
Y-- right. Yeah, of course. You can't say.
Hey, listen, i get it.
I get it.
Bet you're gonna miss me when i'm gone.
Back to holding.
Yeah.
Yes?
When?
I appreciate the information.
keep me updated.
who was that?
New orleans.
the saint of killers.
Bring in the next one.
What?
Where'd you hear that?
I mean it, dude. Who told you that?
seriously?
I don't even know why you hang out with that guy.
Everyone knows you can't trust hitler.
That's right.
He did used to have the run of this place.
You know what, since i'm pretty sure
It's my last night here, cut caveman down.
Let's have some fun.
Well, i'm not worried.
If he was gonna come, he would've come by now.
Yeah, well, maybe we should just double-bolt the door.
You know, just to be extra safe.
You're safe.
If he comes at all, he'll be coming for me.
And I'll handle it, like I did last time.
No offense, padre, but i hope you handle it
A little better than you did last time.
Yeah, 'cause that didn't work out real great.
All right. I'll handle it better.
What is that?
Denis has been after me for a puppy, so...
You got him a dog?
Yeah. I couldn't resist.
Well, that's nice.
I shouldn't have...
I shoulda told you.
Yeah, you shoulda told us!
You know, it's just -- this whole --
This whole situation's been tougher than i thought.
For all of us.
It's been...
I know we could all use a break.
Oh, from waiting around for a cowboy to come kill us?
We could go someplace. Where?
I hear vancouver's great, you know?
It's got good meth and nice hiking.
Vancouver. Mexico.
I don't care. Anywhere but here.
Yeah, i saw this place on youtube in the caribbean.
Bimini?
It's got gambling, catamarans, topless beaches.
Topless bea-- i can't be going on no topless beach.
Sunscreen has come a long way since you were a kid, cassidy.
It's a good idea.
True. Catamarans on the beach it is.
We're going to go, and it's going to be great.
Bimini, bitches! But fir--
It is gonna be great! And i'm gonna go pack.
I'm gonna run it by denis. No --
Hey, remember this? From miami?
That chinchilla job for the cubans?
Oh, man! That was crazy fun.
You know what -- i will never, and i mean never,
Look at a crossbow the same way again.
tulip...
Yep?
We can't go yet.
Guys! Denis is in!
God damn it, jesse!
What happened?
He doesn't wanna go.
What?! That's not what i said.
But bimini was your idea!
No, we're -- we're gonna go. I want to go.
It's just...
We have to find god first.
He's not here, jesse! We looked!
It's true. We've looked everywhere, man.
Oh, you know where we didn't look, cassidy?
I do indeed. Bimini!
Guys... Well, if I was god, that's where i'd be, man.
Honestly. Right. I mean, if he could be there, why would he be here?
Unless he's a complete moron, absolutely no reason at all.
Guys... You know what I think he's doing right now?
I think he's lying on the beach, drinking a catamaran.
Guys!
I met jesus.
Do you mean jesus jesus? Or just some random latino man?
The jesus christ.
The guy from the cross?
Beard, sandals, like a thousand years old?
He was jesus christ's 25th great-grandson.
But this jesus, he's not right in the head.
He-- he's -- he's an imbecile.
They're all imbeciles, jesse.
Jesus, buddha, the president,
And god's probably the biggest imbecile of them all!
So i don't understand why you care so much
About finding him!
Why do i care?!
Because he created the universe! That's why!
Maybe if you would stop being so selfish,
You would care, too!
I'm selfish?
Seriously?
We do everything for you.
You want to go on a road trip, find god,
We hit the road.
You wanna go to new orleans? Fine.
You want to leave us with a maniac cowboy,
We do it -- for you!
And cassidy lost his fingers.
And I practically lost my mind!
What did you lose, jesse, huh?
What the hell did you lose?!
Life is not just about bikinis and beaches, tulip.
The beach was your idea!
we'd never even heard of bimini till you brought it up.
Why did you get him that dog?! The hell is that supposed to mean?
You know exactly what it means! Oh, leave him alone! He didn't do anything!
No, I don't, padre. You're gonna have to enlighten me.
'cause I think I'm a bit daft.
Do you have a problem with dogs? Is that what it is?
It's not about the dog! Well, what's it about, then?
Is it about my son? Huh? The one you won't help...
...With your precious genesis...
...Because "that's not what it's for"?!
And you can tell me...
Where's god? where's god?
- Humperdoo! Humperdoo! - Where's god?
- Where's god? - Good question.
I said --
where's god?
Maybe it is about the dog.
Is that who we're talking about?!
Shhh! Huh?! What?!
We gotta go.
Right under my nose.
This whole time.
Crazy.
But this is it.
This is what we've been chasing.
I know where god is.
We gotta go.
No, jesse.
You gotta go.
You're not gonna come?
You're just gonna stay here?
What about the saint?
Like you said, padre...
He's only after you.
Tyler, please! Come on, hitler.
What's the big deal? We wanna see your hell.
We don't have much time. Open the door.
But -- but how? It's locked!
Oh. So, there's no way to get in?
Nein. No.
Open it!
A little privacy? Please.
Oh!
Told you you can't trust him.
Well, there's not enough power for the whole block,
but one cell won't be a problem.
You ready, hitler? Or did you get lost in there?
yeah, no, thank you.
You do the honors.
Eugene, p-please!
Don't make me do this.
All right, let's party!
[indistinct conversations, utensils clanking]
Dude, all these people are about to get wasted.
Hey, krauts, what are you doing?
Get out of here! Hitler's gonna gas your asses!
Two of your best plum cakes, please.
Extra-flaky crust. Danke.
Ah. Guten tag.
Elsa, there you are.
I just ordered plum cakes.
Oh, yum!
I-i dropped by your house yesterday.
Oh. Did you?
I, uh...Had to help my mother at the store.
Ah.
Excuse me.
Yes, of course.
My fault.
Guten tag.
Guten tag.
I'm sorry. You were saying?
You were -- you were helping your mother?
Adolf, see that man? With the hat?
That's herman hoehne.
The gallery owner i told you about.
We are old friends.
You must show him your drawings.
They are not ready.
That is what you always say.
You have such talent. You must sh--
Communists. They're all vermin.
They should be exiled.
Mm. Yes, i suppose so.
Would you like tea?
I'm fine. Thank you.
Go. Show him your work.
Don't be shy.
No point in having talent if you don't act on it.
Go. Now.
I beg your pardon, herr hoehne.
I-I-I am a great admirer of your gallery.
so, as I was saying --
I was wondering if you would be so kind
As to have a look at my paintings?
Of course, mein herr.
Ah.
The watercolors are very capable.
The lines are strong.
Nice shading.
I like to be encouraging.
Your work shows capacity but lacks conviction.
Vision. Daring.
It's...
Bloodless.
Well, uh...
Perhaps you would prefer the charcoals more.
I doubt it.
I-I will work harder.
M-may I show you some more pieces in a few months?
Thank you.
I'm so sorry.
How did it go?
I don't have it.
He's wrong, adolf.
What does he know?
You can't let yourself be discouraged
By one homosexual's opinion.
No, no, of course. You're right.
You have to fight for what you want in this world.
Our plum cakes should be here soon.
Citizens of germany!
Prepare to rise up against the corrupt weimar republic!
I'm sorry -- no weapons allowed.
Play "the internationale" for the german worker.
Communist sons of whores. Are you deaf?!
Germany shall not --
Play "the internationale"! Sh! Elsa, elsa.
They have guns.
ja?
Uh...
I-I believe you, uh...
You dropped this.
You -- learn the workers' anthem,
Or next time will be worse for you.
I mean it.
Rise up against the republic!
German workers, unite!
Well, they're gone now.
But I-I think you are right.
I don't want to be in hoehne's gallery.
There are many other galleries. I shall approach them all.
I wasn't with my mother yesterday.
I was at the lake... With shulman.
He made us a picnic,
And we sat by the lake in the sunshine all day.
The bicycle repairman?
He's ambitious.
He knows what he wants.
I'm going to him now.
Do you understand why, adolf?
Good day to you.
Ah.
Danke. Bitte.
I'm sorry, mein hitler,
But we are all out of plum cake.
B-but I -- I -- I-I was here first.
Apologies.
Can I offer you some strudel?
I don't like strudel.
Mmm!
Mmm!
Mmm!
wow.
So, because you looked like a bitch
In front of that art guy and your girlfriend,
You blew up europe?
Nein.
No.
Dude!
You are sick!
Hey, payback's a bitch. Am I right?
Next time, get the man his plum cake,
Or... Watch your back!
Yeah.
Get him down.
You -- down.
Leave that camera alone!
You wouldn't understand.
Go away, eugene.
That was the day...
...The last day...
That I was good.
That was the moment I lost myself.
You trust me?
There is a back door.
A secret door.
root, eugene.
let's go, root. Time for your screening.
Don't worry. I will come for you.
May I have your attention?
Your attention, please?
Everyone, please be quiet!
Ladies and gentlemen, i need you to do something for me,
So please, listen very carefully.
Why should we do anything you say, plum cake?
Because I'm...
Adolf fucking hitler!
Oh, hey.
Hey.
Still no sign of him?
Either of 'em.
What d'ya think we should do?
Who knows.
Ah, you're right.
We should just sit tight and be patient.
No, you know what? Screw that.
I know what I'm gonna do.
Denis, you need to make sure he always has fresh water.
All right, mate?
So, what did you get up to last night after I left?
You got back pretty late.
You know what, never mind.
Whoa. Where'd you get those?
Jesse kept 'em.
I'm gonna destroy 'em.
Sounds like fun. Do you want some company?
Nah, nah. You two hang out.
You sure it's a good idea being alone right now?
I won't be. Jenny's coming with me.
Wow.
What?
You like her.
Of course I like her. She's me friend.
So take her.
What?
take her.
It's what we do.
Give me the dog.
Non.
No.
Give me the goddamn dog.
Did you know god was man-dog?
no.
did you know?
No.
it was a test, wasn't it?
He knew I was comin'.
I looked god right in the eyes,
And I told him he was not what I wanted.
It was a test.
It was a test, and I failed.
That's absolutely, 100%, a...Possibility.
What does that mean?
Can you imagine the stress
That comes with being master of all creation?
I'm told he wasn't always like this.
But there have been rumors in recent years
That god had become...
A pervert?
...Disenchanted.
So, what?
God snaps, has a breakdown,
And now he's not gonna come back?
Honestly, I don't know.
But in his apparent state, having him back --
Is that really what you want?
He is god. Of course I want him back.
No.
I don't think so.
I've learned a lot about you over the past few days, jesse.
I have.
And I think what you truly want...
Is forgiveness.
And what exactly do I need forgiveness for?
For killing your father, of course.
Who told you that?
78 billion people.
Give or take, since time began.
More arriving every day.
Each of them with their own distinct hopes and fears.
The numbers really pile up -- you can imagine.
Of course god wants to hear them all,
But at a certain point,
Heaven thought it best to create a backup system.
Make sure nothing important fell through the cracks.
Took a while to procure these.
But I called in a few favors.
Let's have a listen, shall we?
Listen to what?
What are they?
They are your prayers.
I know some collectors who'd pay some big bucks
For these, here.
Not for sale.
I want 'em gone.
It won't open.
Can't you just... Throw them in as they are?
What, and have one of these bullets explode?
Fine.
Okay to shoot those barrels back there?
Be my guest.
Damn it!
sorry, ladies.
I ain't smelting it loaded.
What if I give you oral sex?
Whoa, whoa. Hey, no, no. It's cool.
I mean, you know, I'll think of something else.
I mean... Mail 'em to rio or someplace.
No, this is important to you.
I want to help.
What if I... Come over there...
Tear off that apron, get down on my knees,
And put your penis in my mouth?
whoa.
or what if I say
You forced me to put your penis in my mouth?
Yeah, I came into your establishment,
Looking for some simple metal smelting,
and the next thing you know...
You had me on my knees --
Hey!
Okay, or what if I call my cousin
Who's a detective with the state police
And i tell him your business here is an illegal operation?
Put the weapons in the machine.
I just can't believe he lied to you.
Well, what am I saying?
Of course he lied. He's a man. Men are lying pigs.
Yeah.
But I kinda get it.
You do?
Jesse's got his reasons.
You know, his daddy was a preacher.
Yeah, that'll mess anyone up.
yeah.
Who am I to talk?
I don't even know the guy.
I'll settle for anyone
Who doesn't punch me in the face.
No, jesse would never do that.
Not even the time
I cracked his skull with a golf club.
Where do you think he is now?
He said he knew where god was.
Probably shoulda gone with him.
I mean the cowboy.
I don't know.
Jesse can handle him.
Hope you're right.
Come here! I need you to see something!
Put out your hand.
What?
It's all right. Do it.
It's over 4,000 degrees in there.
It'll melt the armor off a tank.
That thing's not even hot.
Take a look at that.
Don't move.
What's going on here?
Time to go.
Hey!
Hey!
Schnell. Schnell.
1...2...3...4...
Schnell! Schnell! ...5...6...
Schnell!
...9...10...
Put this back there.
come on!
Let's go.
Ja. The back door is down there.
Where's hitler?
Look for him!
I...
Yes, you can.
I will be with you every step of the way.
God, forgive me for not eating my broccoli.
Forgive me for sassing my daddy.
Forgive me for falling asleep at church.
God, forgive me for hitting donnie on the playground --
Even though he deserved it.
God, forgive me for thinking you ain't real.
Forgive me for using your name in vain.
Forgive me for thinking dirty thoughts about ms. Haggity.
Forgive me for falling asleep at church.
Forgive me for giving up.
forgive me for being scared.
Forgive me for letting my daddy down. ...My daddy down.
God... God, forgive me for...
...Losing my temper. ...Losing my temper.
Forgive me for not doing my... ...Chores as best I could.
Forgive me for hurting bobby boyd --
Though he had it comin'.
Forgive me for not praying to you more.
god, forgive me for thinking you ain't real.
Forgive me for touching myself.
Forgive me for asking you to kill my father
And send him to hell. ...And send him to hell.
God, forgive me for having hate in my heart.
God, forgive me for shooting that komodo dragon.
Forgive me for talking down to tulip.
God, forgive me for robbing that convenience store...
...And that gas station... ...And that pawnbroker...
God... ...For robbing that zoo.
God... God, forgive me for killing that security guard.
God, forgive me for losing my temper.
...For taking that guy's eye out.
...Getting drunk. ...For stealing cars.
...Fighting. ...Lying. . ..Drinking too much.
...Lying... ...Robbing... ...Cheating...
...Lying... ...Drinking... ...Fighting...
...For stealing... God, forgive me for killing --
I imagine you could take 100,000 little old ladies,
Walk them back and forth across the street for 100 years,
And it still wouldn't get you off the hook for all that.
If you want to save your soul,
You need to do something big.
You need to join me, jesse.
People have done worse.
I bet you've done worse.
Perhaps...One more?
I ask you again -- what's your name?
Jesse.
Jesse who?
Jesse...
...L'angelle.
That's a good boy.
And...?
Thank you, god.
Thank you, god, for...?
Thank you, god, for killing my father...
...And bringing me home.
Okay. Turn it off.
Your gran'ma loves you.
Thank you, god,
For killing my father and bringing me home.
So...
You went to an awful lot of trouble for all this.
To show you that you're the right man for the job
And the job is right for you.
So, these are all my prayers?
Yes.
Over all this time.
Every single one.
I can make copies, if you'd like to take them.
No, that's all right.
Why don't you just...
...Shove 'em up your ass?
We're done. Let me out.
I-is everything all right with herr starr?
let me out.
I'm just going to check with him.
let me out.
let me out.
yes, hoover, I'm sure.
Custer has left us no choice.
God help us --
it's all...Come down...To you.
Nothing less than the eternal dignity
of the grail is at stake.
Okay. Good.
I'm glad we could reach this understanding.
Now just...Do what you do.
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