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www.titlovi.com
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Bro.
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Why.
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Bastard.
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Brian.
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Bra.
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Bastard.
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Roo.
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Ahem. I saw Susiesitting in a shoe shine shop.
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Barbara. Bastard.
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Lemons, Lennon, liniment.
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No. Lennon's lemon liniment.
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A touch more powder,
Mr. Thorncroft.
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Okay.
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There he is.
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Okay, Clive, let's do this.
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Hey, Richie, I'm just prepping
for the stunt later on, okay?
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-Mm-hm. Mm-hm.
-So, Pat, she's gonna faint, okay?
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And then you pull her up like this:
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Keeping this very strong.
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-Yep.
-Pelvis close and go for the kiss.
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-Watch this.
-Clive, okay. I have read the script.
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Something like this?
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I've got you.
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You've got me all right.
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Save it for the take, baby.
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Plenty more where that came from. Ha, ha.
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That was okay,
but don't open your mouth when you kiss
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because it spreads germs
all around the set.
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-When you're acting, purse your lips.
-Clive.
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Clive. Clive.
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We weren't acting.
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-I was acting.
-What?
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Whoo-hoo-hoo!
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Hello.
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Pow! This little firecracker
is the real star of Mindhorn.
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Maybe I could get
some more lines next time.
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That's a good one.
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-That's your handbrake there.
-Yeah, okay, walk away, Clive, walk away.
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Ready to shoot.
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Shoes, Clive.
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Shoes coming in.
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Shoes are safe.
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Shoes going on.
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Shoes on.
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Okay, let's go.
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Okay, guys, first positions.
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You know I love you.
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Turn over.
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I love you, too, honey.
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Sound running.
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- Truth time.
- Action!
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In 1983, Special AgentBruce P. Mindhorn was captured
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during a secret operationon the Siberian border.
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Communist doctors performedexperimental cybernetic surgery upon him.
56
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They removed his eye and replaced itwith a super-advanced optical lie detector
57
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which meanthe could literally see the truth.
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He escaped Russiaand returned home to the Isle of Man.
59
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Bruce Mindhorn becamethe best plainclothes detective
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the Isle of Man had ever seen.
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In a world of lies,one man has had enough.
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You can't hide the truth from...
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Mindhorn.
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Richard Thorncroft is an actoron the crest of a wave.
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Richard, he's strongand sprints like a panther.
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Acting is 95 percent physicality.
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That's why I practice capoeira.
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Here we see Richard demonstratingthe art of the Ginga
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that gives him his flexibilityas an actor.
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Your mouth's saying no,but your brain's saying yes.
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But in real life,Richard's eye has fallen on
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part-time actress and full-time lovelyPatricia Deville.
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Richard and I are a wonderful team,both at work and, hopefully,
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in life forever.
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Such is the success of Mindhorn,it's rumored that Windjammer,
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played by Peter Easterman,may even get his own show.
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00:04:03,844 --> 00:04:08,782
I-- I-- I can't envisageany kind of spin-off.
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Spin-offs or not,Richard's star is burning bright
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thanks to publicity geniusJeffrey Moncrief.
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We work hard on Mindhorn,but we play hard, too.
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Sometimes too hard. Heh.
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Hello, rehab.
83
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But to stay at the top,
84
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you need to be remarkableboth on-screen and off,
85
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and Richard certainly knowshow to play that game.
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The Isle of Man is a ****hole.
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What?
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Peter Easterman is not a great actor.
89
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But when he is acting, he--
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At least he stands there and does stuff.
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Whether Richard's winning awardsfor his acting
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or courting controversyon top-rated chat shows,
93
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it seems nothing can stop himheading all the way to the top.
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I'm going to Hollywood. Bye.
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Police in the Isle of Manhave discovered the body
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00:05:09,843 --> 00:05:12,078
of a young womanwashed up on Douglas beach.
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Police are treatingKatya Lipinskii's death as murder.
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Police have confirmed
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they have received several phone callsfrom the suspect,
100
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but have refused to divulge the content.
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It's Plasticine.
102
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It's here.
103
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Hello?
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I've told you before,
105
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there's only one person I will speak to,Detective Mindhorn.
106
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-Melly?
-My name is The Kestrel.
107
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Sorry. Sorry, sorry.
108
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-The Kestrel.
-Thank you.
109
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I'll call the police station tomorrow
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and if I'm not talkingto Detective Mindhorn in person,
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more people are going to die.
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Signing off.
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Chief?
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Oh, great.
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Our chief suspect wants to talk
to a fictional fucking detective.
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Mindhorn.
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It was fucking shite and all.
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Have you heard of haemotracteathosis?
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It was on the menuat my local Indian restaurant last night.
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Bruce, let me help you with this case.
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I've told you before, I work alone.
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What are we gonna do, chief?
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You're crazy!
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We've got 24 hours to produce
a convincing Mindhorn.
125
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We'll have to bring the actor over
to take the call.
126
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Tell that to the peoplewho stole my eye.
127
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- Now, let's just think about this.
- Green's right.
128
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Believe me, I wish that he wasn't.
129
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Get me Mindhorn.
130
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It's truth time.
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Baboons.
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Baboons bring bliss.
133
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The Benedict Cumberbatch backlash
has begun.
134
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You are exactly where you need to be.
135
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You are a powerful tiger.
136
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Let's do this.
137
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- Bugger. Bugger.
- Oi, keep it down, will you?
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Yeah, okay. Sorry.
139
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What you doing in there?
140
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Can't handcuff the wind
141
00:08:02,849 --> 00:08:05,552
Ah, hello, lovely. Here for the casting.
Richard Thorncroft.
142
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Oh, great. Mr. Branagh's nearly ready
for you, Richard.
143
00:08:08,788 --> 00:08:10,657
-Crowthorne?
-Thorncroft.
144
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The B man.
145
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Kenny B.
146
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Bloody good to see you.
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Let's crack this baby open.
148
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Hi. Richard Crowthorne, eleven o'clock?
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Oh.
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Right.
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I speak the truth.
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I am afeared of no man.
153
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I am afeared of no creature.
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I am my own man.
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I am Clifton of Port Antonio.
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Do you feel me?
157
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Yeah, that's incredible.
158
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That's-- That's literally incredible.
159
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- Thank you.
- You're welcome.
160
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Really, I mean, I don't know what to say,
but thank you.
161
00:08:54,868 --> 00:08:57,037
I wanna try something.
I'd like to do it again.
162
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But this time
I'd like to try it with a brogue.
163
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Uh, no, I think we--
We're good, we've got everything.
164
00:09:02,075 --> 00:09:04,077
I've seen everything
I could possibly want.
165
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- You sure?
- Oh, yeah.
166
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Okay.
167
00:09:06,613 --> 00:09:09,682
Well, acting aside,
it's been great to catch up.
168
00:09:10,750 --> 00:09:13,953
Kenny B. This guy was one crazy hombre
back in the day.
169
00:09:14,020 --> 00:09:15,989
Do you remember that hotel in Maidstone?
170
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Oh, who can-- Who can--
Who can forget that?
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-Did a tour of Medway basin.
-Thank you.
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And this fella--
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Well, they'll have to re-paper
that hotel room.
174
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- Yeah.
- I love what you're doing these days.
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00:09:27,000 --> 00:09:29,736
Ken, I really admire your balls. Okay.
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The B man.
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Alrighty.
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The killer B.
179
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The Branflake.
180
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-Who was that?
-Not a fucking clue.
181
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Hey, brother.
182
00:09:43,716 --> 00:09:44,951
-You got my details?
-Yeah.
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Lovely.
184
00:09:52,725 --> 00:09:53,626
Sorry, Sarah.
185
00:09:53,693 --> 00:09:56,029
Front desk say Richard Thorncroft is here.
186
00:09:56,096 --> 00:09:57,764
Oh, Christ. I'm with Simon.
187
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Tell him to wait outside.
188
00:09:59,833 --> 00:10:01,901
Ah, Richard, darling. How are you?
189
00:10:01,968 --> 00:10:03,670
It's too late.I couldn't stop him.
190
00:10:03,736 --> 00:10:05,371
How am I? Well, let me think.
191
00:10:05,638 --> 00:10:09,142
I haven't had an audition in 18 months
and you get me a schizophrenic Yardie.
192
00:10:09,209 --> 00:10:10,844
Sounds like a good part to me.
193
00:10:10,910 --> 00:10:14,781
If you're a 60-year-old Jamaican man.
Sorry, Simon. I didn't realize it was you.
194
00:10:14,848 --> 00:10:16,116
-Hello. Hi.
-Big, big fan.
195
00:10:16,182 --> 00:10:18,118
Big fan. Caught your Equus in Chichester.
196
00:10:18,785 --> 00:10:20,954
-Powerful piece of work.
-Great. Thank you.
197
00:10:21,020 --> 00:10:22,622
And you were fantastic in, um...
198
00:10:23,323 --> 00:10:25,725
Um...
Oh, God, my memory's gone these days.
199
00:10:25,792 --> 00:10:27,861
-Uh, you were fantastic in it.
-Thank you.
200
00:10:27,927 --> 00:10:30,163
Sorry about the cock-up.
It was the new assistant.
201
00:10:30,230 --> 00:10:32,899
How could you mix me up with Crowthorne?
Do I not exist?
202
00:10:32,966 --> 00:10:34,267
No one seems to know who I am.
203
00:10:34,334 --> 00:10:36,936
Me and the Branster go way back.
I don't suppose you...
204
00:10:37,003 --> 00:10:39,973
Simon, sweetie,
could you just give us a few moments?
205
00:10:40,039 --> 00:10:41,241
I could have this salad.
206
00:10:41,307 --> 00:10:43,009
-Come back. Two minutes.
-Yes, yes.
207
00:10:45,345 --> 00:10:46,679
What the hell's going on?
208
00:10:46,746 --> 00:10:48,815
You're going through a transitional phase.
209
00:10:48,882 --> 00:10:50,416
You said that five years ago, Sarah.
210
00:10:50,683 --> 00:10:53,253
I mean, you're moving
from young, handsome hero
211
00:10:53,319 --> 00:10:56,122
-to older, still very handsome but not...
-Yes, yes.
212
00:10:56,189 --> 00:10:59,726
What's happening with my autobiography?
Are there any takers, any bites?
213
00:10:59,792 --> 00:11:01,928
Very quiet timefor actors' autobiographies.
214
00:11:01,995 --> 00:11:04,831
Is it really? It's not very quiet
for Peter Easterman, is it?
215
00:11:04,898 --> 00:11:06,833
No, I don't think so. Volume three?
216
00:11:07,400 --> 00:11:09,435
What's this one called?
What I Did Yesterday?
217
00:11:09,869 --> 00:11:11,905
Windjammer's on its 16th season.
218
00:11:11,971 --> 00:11:13,773
-Season.-He's built a franchise.
219
00:11:13,840 --> 00:11:16,709
He's even got his own rangeof weatherproof clothing.
220
00:11:16,776 --> 00:11:19,212
I did not get into this business
to sell cagoules.
221
00:11:19,279 --> 00:11:21,080
You've gotta sell something, darling.
222
00:11:21,147 --> 00:11:22,415
Sell this. Hmm?
223
00:11:22,682 --> 00:11:25,919
This is a map of human emotion. Sell it.
224
00:11:25,985 --> 00:11:26,986
Nobody can, darling.
225
00:11:27,053 --> 00:11:28,154
You haven't got profile.
226
00:11:28,221 --> 00:11:30,723
That's why you made me do
the Thrombi-Sox ads.
227
00:11:30,790 --> 00:11:33,459
You said it would give me profile.
Thank God for Thrombi-Sox.
228
00:11:33,726 --> 00:11:36,029
And that is not a sentence
I thought I'd ever utter.
229
00:11:36,095 --> 00:11:37,897
Well, about Thrombi-Sox...
230
00:11:38,698 --> 00:11:40,833
-What?
-They've gone in a different direction.
231
00:11:40,900 --> 00:11:42,835
John fucking Nettles?
232
00:11:42,902 --> 00:11:45,238
Well, you told the directorhe was an embryo.
233
00:11:45,305 --> 00:11:47,040
He was-- He's about 12.
234
00:11:47,106 --> 00:11:48,975
Sit down and calm down, come on.
235
00:11:49,876 --> 00:11:51,177
All is not lost.
236
00:11:51,244 --> 00:11:53,112
I had a very interesting offer for you.
237
00:11:53,179 --> 00:11:54,080
An offer?
238
00:11:54,147 --> 00:11:55,248
From the police.
239
00:11:56,249 --> 00:11:58,918
-What do you mean?
-They want you to talk to a suspect
240
00:11:58,985 --> 00:12:01,387
and see if you can lure him into custody.
241
00:12:02,055 --> 00:12:04,123
What? So, this is a voiceover
or something?
242
00:12:04,791 --> 00:12:06,326
Yeah, a bit like a voiceover.
243
00:12:06,392 --> 00:12:09,062
- He thinks Mindhorn is a real detective.- What?
244
00:12:09,128 --> 00:12:10,396
Mindhorn, that was it.
245
00:12:10,463 --> 00:12:12,899
You were wonderful in that.
That was your Amadeus.
246
00:12:13,032 --> 00:12:14,968
Well, I mean, Amadeus was my Amadeus.
247
00:12:15,034 --> 00:12:16,369
Yeah, fuck off, Callow.
248
00:12:16,436 --> 00:12:19,105
This is a private conversationbetween me and my agent.
249
00:12:19,172 --> 00:12:21,040
Just calm down. Sit down.
250
00:12:21,107 --> 00:12:23,443
-I don't wanna sit down.
-Stand up, but calm down.
251
00:12:23,509 --> 00:12:24,377
I'll sit down.
252
00:12:25,111 --> 00:12:26,079
Sit down, then.
253
00:12:26,479 --> 00:12:29,382
Okay, so, let's focus
on this Mindhorn thing.
254
00:12:29,749 --> 00:12:31,050
I was bloody good in Mindhorn.
255
00:12:31,117 --> 00:12:34,487
You'll be even better now.
You've matured like a fine wine.
256
00:12:34,754 --> 00:12:36,823
-A man could get drunk on that wine.
-Great.
257
00:12:37,290 --> 00:12:39,792
So, you go to the Isle of Man,
you take the call...
258
00:12:39,859 --> 00:12:41,160
Sorry. Where?
259
00:12:41,494 --> 00:12:42,362
The Isle of Man.
260
00:12:42,428 --> 00:12:45,164
Uh, no. This isn't gonna work for me.
I do not go backwards.
261
00:12:45,231 --> 00:12:48,167
-My career, I move forwards. Like a shark.
-Like a shark, yes.
262
00:12:48,234 --> 00:12:51,270
But maybe going backwards
is the new going forwards.
263
00:12:51,938 --> 00:12:53,906
Why don't you hook up with the old gang?
264
00:12:54,774 --> 00:12:57,410
Jeffrey Moncrief has got
his own PR firm now.
265
00:12:57,477 --> 00:13:00,179
Jeffrey Moncrief?
He went off the rails, I'm afraid.
266
00:13:00,847 --> 00:13:02,081
Looks kosher to me.
267
00:13:02,548 --> 00:13:04,917
You need all the publicity
you can get from this.
268
00:13:05,485 --> 00:13:07,854
What about Pat Deville, your old flame?
269
00:13:07,920 --> 00:13:09,222
Works for Manx TV now.
270
00:13:09,288 --> 00:13:10,957
Profile, Richard.
271
00:13:11,391 --> 00:13:14,894
Imagine, TV cop helps real copssolve crime?
272
00:13:14,961 --> 00:13:17,063
It's PR gold. You'd be a hero.
273
00:13:17,397 --> 00:13:19,365
Do the interviews, get in the newspapers,
274
00:13:19,432 --> 00:13:22,235
remind people who you areand, bang, you're back on the map.
275
00:13:22,568 --> 00:13:25,405
Just play Mindhorn one last time.
276
00:13:32,412 --> 00:13:33,446
Profile.
277
00:14:02,308 --> 00:14:03,509
Isle of Man constabulary.
278
00:14:04,377 --> 00:14:05,278
I'm in.
279
00:14:05,344 --> 00:14:06,446
Sorry, who is this?
280
00:14:12,218 --> 00:14:16,122
Hello. Moncrief,Public Relations International Limited.
281
00:14:16,189 --> 00:14:18,024
-Jeff.
-Richie.
282
00:14:18,424 --> 00:14:19,425
Are you here?
283
00:14:19,492 --> 00:14:23,062
Yeah, I'm here, two o'clock ferry,
like we said. Where are you?
284
00:14:23,129 --> 00:14:25,431
I'm working my butt off here for you,Richie.
285
00:14:25,498 --> 00:14:27,633
Why don't I see you laterat the police station
286
00:14:27,900 --> 00:14:30,002
once I finish up here at the office?
287
00:14:30,069 --> 00:14:31,971
Sounds good. What about the newspapers?
288
00:14:32,038 --> 00:14:35,408
The Manx Express loves it.
They're sending a photographer
289
00:14:35,475 --> 00:14:38,878
to get some shots of you doing the call
in the police station.
290
00:14:38,945 --> 00:14:43,049
Now, we've got to get to Pat at Manx TV
afore she knocks off.
291
00:14:43,116 --> 00:14:46,919
You know what, Jeff? I think I might have
time to squeeze that in before the gig.
292
00:14:46,986 --> 00:14:49,288
I bet you have, you devil.
293
00:14:49,355 --> 00:14:51,391
Hey, come on.
294
00:14:51,457 --> 00:14:52,992
She's not married
295
00:14:53,059 --> 00:14:55,228
-and you're the thinking woman's crumpet.
-Ha, ha.
296
00:14:55,661 --> 00:14:56,529
Bye, Jeff.
297
00:14:57,563 --> 00:14:58,598
Ahoy there!
298
00:15:00,900 --> 00:15:04,203
This is the old stomping ground.
Back in the old wild oats-sowing days.
299
00:15:04,270 --> 00:15:06,272
Yeah, there's very good soil here,
I think.
300
00:15:06,906 --> 00:15:09,242
Welcome to the Isle of Man.
301
00:15:09,308 --> 00:15:10,543
Isle of adventure.
302
00:15:10,610 --> 00:15:11,644
Isle of romance.
303
00:15:12,178 --> 00:15:13,312
I'll have some of that.
304
00:15:13,379 --> 00:15:17,150
-Mr. Thorncroft, DS Baines.
-Enchant�. Call me Richard.
305
00:15:17,583 --> 00:15:20,319
PC Green and I
will be overseeing your stay here.
306
00:15:20,386 --> 00:15:22,488
-Roger that.
-We really appreciate this.
307
00:15:22,555 --> 00:15:25,224
-I know you're a busy man.
-I had to move things around.
308
00:15:25,291 --> 00:15:27,360
But work is work. This is more important.
309
00:15:28,161 --> 00:15:29,228
Let's save some lives.
310
00:15:30,630 --> 00:15:32,198
-This us?
-Yeah, yeah.
311
00:15:40,573 --> 00:15:41,441
Thanks.
312
00:15:43,643 --> 00:15:45,445
-You in? Great.
-Yeah, yeah, great.
313
00:15:48,014 --> 00:15:50,116
We believe Melly thought
Mindhorn was real.
314
00:15:50,183 --> 00:15:53,019
Yeah, well, three years at RADA
give a man some skills.
315
00:15:53,085 --> 00:15:53,953
Right.
316
00:15:54,020 --> 00:15:56,155
-Are you a fan of the show?
-My mum liked it.
317
00:15:56,355 --> 00:15:58,558
Ah... A woman of taste.
318
00:15:58,958 --> 00:16:00,426
-She single?
-She's dead.
319
00:16:01,727 --> 00:16:04,363
This is you.
Uh, we'll give you a knock in 20 minutes.
320
00:16:04,997 --> 00:16:06,466
-Lovely.
-Stay in the room.
321
00:16:06,532 --> 00:16:09,502
-For your safety as much as anything else.
-Sure thing, big guy.
322
00:16:22,715 --> 00:16:25,151
-You gonna be there the whole time?
-Right, yeah.
323
00:16:25,218 --> 00:16:26,118
Yeah, good.
324
00:16:26,719 --> 00:16:27,720
Really good news.
325
00:16:28,421 --> 00:16:31,057
I'm gonna be doing some meditating,
so, um...
326
00:16:32,458 --> 00:16:33,593
-You meditate?
-No.
327
00:16:34,193 --> 00:16:36,162
-Something to think about.
-Thanks, I will.
328
00:16:36,229 --> 00:16:37,430
Sorry about your mum.
329
00:16:39,365 --> 00:16:40,233
Shit.
330
00:16:58,718 --> 00:16:59,719
Meeting someone.
331
00:16:59,785 --> 00:17:01,354
I can't believe she let you do that.
332
00:17:01,420 --> 00:17:03,122
Not for the first time.
333
00:17:03,189 --> 00:17:05,758
Download that footage
and get that sent over straightaway.
334
00:17:06,025 --> 00:17:08,327
- Hello, Manx Television.
- It's an offer or nothing.
335
00:17:08,394 --> 00:17:09,762
Just the way I play it, Jeremy.
336
00:17:10,530 --> 00:17:13,032
Bloody hell. I'll call you back.
337
00:17:13,499 --> 00:17:14,500
Patricia Deville.
338
00:17:16,168 --> 00:17:17,036
Don't tell me.
339
00:17:18,704 --> 00:17:20,439
-It's gone.
-You're joking, right?
340
00:17:20,506 --> 00:17:23,276
We did live together
for over two and a half years, so, um...
341
00:17:23,709 --> 00:17:25,278
-Yeah.
-Ha, ha. We certainly did.
342
00:17:25,611 --> 00:17:27,313
What are you doing here?
343
00:17:27,413 --> 00:17:29,148
Oh, you know, work, meetings.
344
00:17:29,215 --> 00:17:32,151
Busy, busy, busy. What about yourself?
What are you doing here?
345
00:17:32,218 --> 00:17:34,520
I'm a journalist now. I work here.
346
00:17:34,654 --> 00:17:37,123
Get out of town.
347
00:17:37,189 --> 00:17:41,093
That's amazing. Actually, I might
just have a little something for you.
348
00:17:41,160 --> 00:17:42,161
Is it weed killer?
349
00:17:43,329 --> 00:17:44,564
-Hmm?
-You left our house
350
00:17:44,630 --> 00:17:48,834
to get some weed killer 24 years ago.
I haven't seen you since.
351
00:17:49,101 --> 00:17:51,671
-I see what you're doing.
-The weeds are really out of control now.
352
00:17:51,737 --> 00:17:54,674
I did explain my departure
in the letters.
353
00:17:54,740 --> 00:17:55,641
The letters?
354
00:17:55,708 --> 00:17:58,411
Yeah. The letters I wrote to you
and that you failed to respond to.
355
00:18:01,080 --> 00:18:03,482
-Let's not do this, shall we?
-Let's not even go there.
356
00:18:03,549 --> 00:18:07,186
I'm only here for a couple of days,
I'm about to launch something fairly big.
357
00:18:07,253 --> 00:18:08,588
-Now, I was thinking--
-Right.
358
00:18:08,654 --> 00:18:12,358
You wanna use me for some publicity,
right? You need some profile, is that it?
359
00:18:12,425 --> 00:18:15,394
Way off, Pat. Um,
I can't talk about the details right now,
360
00:18:15,461 --> 00:18:18,631
but let's just say it's a fairly
interesting little acting job.
361
00:18:18,698 --> 00:18:21,334
Right.
I thought maybe you'd given up acting.
362
00:18:21,400 --> 00:18:24,236
You didn't catch me on the last season
of Midsomer Murders?
363
00:18:24,303 --> 00:18:26,238
That's what made me think
you'd given up.
364
00:18:27,406 --> 00:18:28,608
Pow!
365
00:18:28,674 --> 00:18:31,877
Ooh, you got me. Look at this.
Laughing and a-joking like old times.
366
00:18:32,612 --> 00:18:33,546
Gotta run.
367
00:18:33,746 --> 00:18:37,717
You'd be very foolish to walk away from
what I'm about to plonk down on the table.
368
00:18:37,783 --> 00:18:39,752
I'm a serious journalist now, Richard.
369
00:18:39,819 --> 00:18:42,521
Well, maybe catching
the psychotic killer Paul Melly
370
00:18:43,189 --> 00:18:44,724
isn't a serious enough story for you.
371
00:18:50,463 --> 00:18:53,265
There's a press gag on that case.
How do you know about it?
372
00:18:53,633 --> 00:18:58,337
Why don't we grab a bite
and I'll give you the full expos�.
373
00:18:58,404 --> 00:18:59,872
You mean exclusive.
374
00:19:00,539 --> 00:19:01,407
Whatever you say.
375
00:19:02,808 --> 00:19:03,743
Let's talk later.
376
00:19:04,443 --> 00:19:05,478
Let's do that.
377
00:19:13,252 --> 00:19:14,186
Still got it.
378
00:19:15,454 --> 00:19:16,322
Shit.
379
00:19:21,527 --> 00:19:22,828
- Shit.
- Where is he?
380
00:19:22,895 --> 00:19:24,263
He said he was meditating.
381
00:19:26,766 --> 00:19:29,235
Went pretty deep.
Uh... Threw in a bit of capoeira.
382
00:19:30,403 --> 00:19:31,270
Right.
383
00:19:31,337 --> 00:19:32,938
Let's nail this mother.
384
00:19:33,439 --> 00:19:34,306
Sorry.
385
00:19:35,875 --> 00:19:37,443
The suspect's name is Paul Melly.
386
00:19:37,510 --> 00:19:41,681
We think he might be using the island's
extensive mine system to evade capture.
387
00:19:41,747 --> 00:19:43,582
- Mine system? Clever bugger.
- Mm.
388
00:19:43,716 --> 00:19:45,451
Do you recognize him, Richard?
389
00:19:46,686 --> 00:19:47,553
Oh, my God.
390
00:19:48,254 --> 00:19:49,255
It's my agent.
391
00:19:49,655 --> 00:19:51,190
Only joking.
392
00:19:51,757 --> 00:19:53,759
Could I get an Americano with hot milk?
393
00:19:54,560 --> 00:19:57,797
So, the boy's parents were killed
in a car crash when he was nine.
394
00:19:57,863 --> 00:20:00,733
And, uh, when he was informed,
he was watching an episode of Mindhorn,
395
00:20:00,800 --> 00:20:04,203
so, he has developed
a sort of morbid obsession with the show.
396
00:20:04,303 --> 00:20:06,539
Could have been worse.
Could have been Windjammer.
397
00:20:06,605 --> 00:20:09,241
Yeah. Well, he is calling in 15 minutes,
Richard,
398
00:20:09,308 --> 00:20:12,311
and he's calling himself the Kestrel.
399
00:20:12,611 --> 00:20:15,614
Now, he might make
some sort of kestrel noises.
400
00:20:16,215 --> 00:20:18,984
Kestrel noises, good.
Look, I've got a couple of friends coming.
401
00:20:19,251 --> 00:20:20,553
I wonder if I could put a list
on reception.
402
00:20:20,619 --> 00:20:21,954
A list at reception?
403
00:20:22,221 --> 00:20:23,723
Yeah, Jeffrey Moncrief plus one.
404
00:20:23,789 --> 00:20:25,925
Richard,
this is Chief Inspector Derek Newsome.
405
00:20:25,991 --> 00:20:27,593
Ah, the head honcho.
406
00:20:27,660 --> 00:20:29,729
El honcherino. The big cheese.
407
00:20:30,396 --> 00:20:32,465
-You look familiar. Did we golf?
-No.
408
00:20:32,531 --> 00:20:35,434
I wanted to talk to you
about the press conference.
409
00:20:35,501 --> 00:20:37,436
We could co-host, but I'm camera trained,
410
00:20:37,503 --> 00:20:40,873
and in these things, police can
come across as weird and sweaty-looking.
411
00:20:40,940 --> 00:20:44,810
Mr. Thorncroft, you are aware
of the seriousness of the situation?
412
00:20:44,877 --> 00:20:47,847
Bigtime, yes, indeed.
We'll hash out the details of that later.
413
00:20:47,980 --> 00:20:49,949
-Is there a dressing room?
-This is a call.
414
00:20:50,015 --> 00:20:53,352
-You know how phones work.
-Don't know if you know how acting works.
415
00:20:53,419 --> 00:20:56,322
-Not really, and I'm not interested.
-We all have our process.
416
00:20:56,388 --> 00:20:59,692
Sometimes an item of clothing or footwear
can define a character.
417
00:20:59,759 --> 00:21:01,727
Uh, you have your costume, I have mine.
418
00:21:01,794 --> 00:21:03,696
This isn't a costume.
419
00:21:03,763 --> 00:21:07,466
This is officially sanctioned uniform
denoting rank and civic responsibility.
420
00:21:07,533 --> 00:21:10,770
It's still a kind of costume.
You put it on to play "the chief,"
421
00:21:10,836 --> 00:21:13,439
and then you take it off
when you go home to your wife,
422
00:21:13,506 --> 00:21:15,775
or maybe you don't.
423
00:21:15,841 --> 00:21:17,910
-All the world's a stage.
-No, it isn't.
424
00:21:17,977 --> 00:21:19,678
A young woman has been murdered
425
00:21:19,745 --> 00:21:22,648
and we're trying to catch her killer
before he does it again.
426
00:21:23,516 --> 00:21:25,618
-Okay.
-Do you wanna get changed through here?
427
00:21:26,886 --> 00:21:29,054
What's wrong with him?
Lost his truncheon?
428
00:21:31,457 --> 00:21:32,458
- Jeff.
- Richie.
429
00:21:32,525 --> 00:21:35,060
The cops are being bloody stingy
with the door policy.
430
00:21:35,327 --> 00:21:37,396
-Ah, bastards.
-We're gonna have to get
431
00:21:37,463 --> 00:21:40,633
the photographer to take the photos
outside the building looking in.
432
00:21:40,833 --> 00:21:43,636
I'm on the first floor.
I'll favor the windows on the north.
433
00:21:43,702 --> 00:21:45,070
North windows. Right, got it.
434
00:21:45,337 --> 00:21:46,071
Are you nearly here?
435
00:21:46,505 --> 00:21:51,010
Uh, I'm running a tad late, Richie.
I had to tidy up the Glendale account.
436
00:21:51,377 --> 00:21:53,445
Uh, will you speed things up there,
Barbara?
437
00:21:53,512 --> 00:21:56,816
You know, it's great to be heading backto the big time with you, Richie.
438
00:21:56,882 --> 00:21:57,750
Wish me luck.
439
00:21:57,817 --> 00:22:00,519
Hey, you are going to be great, Richie.
440
00:22:00,653 --> 00:22:01,620
Tits and teeth, eh?
441
00:22:05,558 --> 00:22:06,592
Hello, old friend.
442
00:22:36,088 --> 00:22:37,790
- Richard.
- Bainesy.
443
00:22:37,856 --> 00:22:40,826
When Melly calls, you need
to stay in character at all times.
444
00:22:41,493 --> 00:22:42,995
When I go in, I go deep.
445
00:22:43,696 --> 00:22:45,798
Ah, the old two-way mirrors.
I love these things.
446
00:22:47,099 --> 00:22:50,069
Here's a list of prompts.
If you could stick to script, great.
447
00:22:50,135 --> 00:22:52,471
And avoid any of these,
you know, trigger words.
448
00:22:52,538 --> 00:22:56,575
Insane. Nutjob. Mental.
Blah, blah, blah, usual stuff.
449
00:22:56,642 --> 00:22:58,410
-This the phone?
-That is the phone.
450
00:22:58,477 --> 00:22:59,745
-Great.
-Yeah.
451
00:23:03,983 --> 00:23:04,850
Yeah.
452
00:23:06,552 --> 00:23:07,553
That's gonna be okay.
453
00:23:17,963 --> 00:23:21,800
-If you could just keep it in its cradle.
-Just connecting with the props.
454
00:23:21,867 --> 00:23:26,038
So, when he calls,
keep him on the line, keep him talking...
455
00:23:26,105 --> 00:23:27,673
-Mm-hm.
-...arrange to meet,
456
00:23:27,740 --> 00:23:28,874
and we'll take it from there.
457
00:23:30,009 --> 00:23:32,811
Here you go, Richard.
I couldn't find any manuka honey.
458
00:23:32,878 --> 00:23:35,447
-Oh. Two teabags, though?
-Yep, like you said.
459
00:23:35,514 --> 00:23:37,650
Good.
A little tip I picked up from Sean Bean.
460
00:23:37,916 --> 00:23:40,019
Double-bag Bean, we called him.
The Bean Bag.
461
00:23:44,623 --> 00:23:45,491
This is it.
462
00:23:46,892 --> 00:23:47,760
Shoes going on.
463
00:23:50,963 --> 00:23:52,131
Shoes on.
464
00:23:54,466 --> 00:23:56,035
Yeah, whenever you're ready, Richard.
465
00:24:07,613 --> 00:24:08,914
Yeah, whenever you're ready--
466
00:24:12,184 --> 00:24:13,919
Oh, Jesus. Answer it.
467
00:24:13,986 --> 00:24:15,187
Fucking clown.
468
00:24:15,454 --> 00:24:16,789
Mindhorn makes people wait.
469
00:24:17,956 --> 00:24:21,160
When they wait, they become angry.
When angry, they become vulnerable.
470
00:24:21,226 --> 00:24:23,529
When they're vulnerable,
they make mistakes.
471
00:24:24,630 --> 00:24:25,631
Yo, what's going down?
472
00:24:27,166 --> 00:24:29,835
Hello? Hello? He's hung up.
473
00:24:31,003 --> 00:24:32,971
You might wanna try 1471.
474
00:24:35,107 --> 00:24:36,809
Yo, what's going down, Kestrel?
475
00:24:37,076 --> 00:24:38,677
Do you remember me?
476
00:24:38,744 --> 00:24:40,579
Course I do. What do you want, sir?
477
00:24:40,646 --> 00:24:42,181
I have something for you, Mindhorn.
478
00:24:42,514 --> 00:24:44,583
That's nice. Is it my birthday?
479
00:24:44,650 --> 00:24:46,618
Yes, yes, he's close,
maybe in a phone box.
480
00:24:46,685 --> 00:24:49,588
Because the only present
I'm interested in is the truth.
481
00:24:49,755 --> 00:24:53,892
And don't bother wrapping it,
because I don't care for pretty packaging.
482
00:24:54,026 --> 00:24:55,728
How do I know this is really you?
483
00:24:56,695 --> 00:25:01,033
How do I know it's really you, Kestrel,
not just some insane, mental nutjob?
484
00:25:01,967 --> 00:25:03,001
Why would you say that?
485
00:25:04,103 --> 00:25:04,970
I'm the Kestrel.
486
00:25:08,006 --> 00:25:09,641
More people are going to die.
487
00:25:09,708 --> 00:25:11,710
We're all gonna die, Kestrel.
Get over it.
488
00:25:12,044 --> 00:25:13,979
Some with a bang, some with a whimper.
489
00:25:14,613 --> 00:25:16,582
Some with a weird wasting disease.
490
00:25:18,917 --> 00:25:20,619
Aw. It really is you.
491
00:25:20,719 --> 00:25:23,889
Gold star, Kestrel. Now tell me something
I don't already bloody know.
492
00:25:24,890 --> 00:25:26,925
You want to catch Katya's killer,don't you?
493
00:25:27,626 --> 00:25:29,561
Well, get this.
494
00:25:31,630 --> 00:25:35,167
-What's that? Is there anyone else there?
-Negative, sir. Mindhorn works alone.
495
00:25:35,234 --> 00:25:39,037
Listen, big guy, why don't we grab some
face-to-face time and sort this baby out?
496
00:25:39,104 --> 00:25:41,607
-Where you calling from?
-No, it's not safe.
497
00:25:41,673 --> 00:25:43,909
The piggies are listening.You know the quarry?
498
00:25:43,976 --> 00:25:45,144
-Course I know.
-Good.
499
00:25:45,811 --> 00:25:47,746
-I'll meet you outside.
-See you there.
500
00:25:47,813 --> 00:25:49,615
-Come alone.
-I always do.
501
00:25:50,182 --> 00:25:51,784
-Which quarry?
-No idea. You get a trace?
502
00:25:51,850 --> 00:25:53,752
-No.
-What kind of an outfit is this?
503
00:25:53,819 --> 00:25:55,587
That is a rookie mistake.
504
00:25:56,054 --> 00:25:56,922
Hey.
505
00:25:57,222 --> 00:26:00,159
You were meant to keep him on the line.
506
00:26:00,225 --> 00:26:02,194
That's not the way
the scene played there.
507
00:26:02,261 --> 00:26:03,896
There's the quarry at Vazon Edge.
508
00:26:03,962 --> 00:26:06,098
That's where we used to do
all our car chases.
509
00:26:06,165 --> 00:26:08,667
That's where he'll be. Go get him, team.
510
00:26:09,701 --> 00:26:10,569
Prick.
511
00:26:11,170 --> 00:26:12,304
Oh, dear.
512
00:26:12,971 --> 00:26:14,206
Someone's not a happy bunny.
513
00:26:14,873 --> 00:26:18,744
I remember him now. It was his wife I used
to play golf with. If you catch my drift.
514
00:26:20,579 --> 00:26:21,613
Hole in one.
515
00:26:22,080 --> 00:26:23,048
Didn't think he knew.
516
00:26:23,348 --> 00:26:24,216
Uh--
517
00:26:24,583 --> 00:26:26,718
Why do you think
Melly said outside the quarry?
518
00:26:26,785 --> 00:26:27,953
Hmm?
519
00:26:28,020 --> 00:26:31,590
Do you think quarry meant
something different on Mindhorn?
520
00:26:31,757 --> 00:26:34,626
A quarry's a quarry, Green.
I wouldn't overthink these things.
521
00:26:34,927 --> 00:26:36,862
Just gonna go and drain the python.
522
00:26:37,329 --> 00:26:39,832
Then we can have a natter
about the press conference.
523
00:26:42,134 --> 00:26:44,770
ETA to Vazon Edge quarryfour minutes.
524
00:26:53,345 --> 00:26:56,982
All cars, all cars, the quarry is
the police station. Melly is here. Over.
525
00:26:57,649 --> 00:26:58,784
Roger that. Diverting.
526
00:26:59,818 --> 00:27:01,987
Turn around. Do it now!
527
00:27:02,721 --> 00:27:03,856
What are you doing?
528
00:27:04,022 --> 00:27:06,658
Move the fucking van, you prick!
529
00:27:07,326 --> 00:27:08,193
Richard.
530
00:27:20,172 --> 00:27:22,908
Thorncroft's gone.
I repeat, I've lost eyes on Thorncroft.
531
00:27:22,975 --> 00:27:25,844
Thorncroft has gone. Shit.
532
00:27:25,911 --> 00:27:28,247
You got the action shots
through the window.
533
00:27:28,313 --> 00:27:31,016
-Why don't we get something more dramatic?
-Good plan.
534
00:27:31,783 --> 00:27:35,220
Thorncroft may be in danger.The suspect was outside the station.
535
00:27:35,888 --> 00:27:37,256
Might be a great backdrop.
536
00:27:37,422 --> 00:27:40,025
I'll be here.
Obviously, I'll pull this in on the day.
537
00:27:40,259 --> 00:27:41,126
Good to go.
538
00:27:41,193 --> 00:27:44,796
Your face has... fallen down.
It's all baggy.
539
00:27:45,230 --> 00:27:48,367
Yeah, do you mind? Uh, we all age.
Use some backlight, soften the focus.
540
00:27:48,433 --> 00:27:50,369
I'm not gonna tell you your job. Jesus.
541
00:27:51,203 --> 00:27:53,272
- Jeff?
- Richie, where are you?
542
00:27:53,338 --> 00:27:56,375
I'm with the photographer,
and he's a bit weird. Where are you?
543
00:27:56,441 --> 00:27:59,077
I'm with the photographer.Outside the station.
544
00:27:59,144 --> 00:28:01,146
Hey, you must have made
quite an impression.
545
00:28:01,213 --> 00:28:04,182
There's police running about
like headless chickens.
546
00:28:06,752 --> 00:28:09,354
Are you celebrating already. Richie?
547
00:28:10,756 --> 00:28:13,258
Clever Mindhorn.
548
00:28:13,926 --> 00:28:14,793
It's time.
549
00:28:16,962 --> 00:28:20,933
Time for the apocalypse of justice.
550
00:28:40,285 --> 00:28:41,320
Mindhorn.
551
00:28:41,853 --> 00:28:43,222
Please, no.
552
00:28:43,822 --> 00:28:45,123
Look into my eyes.
553
00:28:47,192 --> 00:28:50,062
-Can you see the truth?
-Yeah.
554
00:28:50,128 --> 00:28:53,298
Did you receive the evidence
I sent to your house?
555
00:28:53,365 --> 00:28:56,001
-Yes, definitely.
-You did?
556
00:28:56,068 --> 00:28:57,803
Then you know I'm innocent!
557
00:28:57,869 --> 00:28:59,304
-Are you on the case?
-Yes.
558
00:28:59,371 --> 00:29:00,239
-Yeah?
-Yes, sir.
559
00:29:00,305 --> 00:29:01,306
Yeah. Yeah!
560
00:29:08,847 --> 00:29:10,115
It's pretend, see?
561
00:29:10,182 --> 00:29:12,517
Melly, step away from the actor!
562
00:29:12,784 --> 00:29:15,120
- Stay down, Richard!
- See you at the wheel, Mindhorn.
563
00:29:16,488 --> 00:29:18,390
Shoot him. Shoot him in the head!
564
00:29:30,102 --> 00:29:34,306
My next guest is a celebrated actor
and now an award-winning writer.
565
00:29:35,307 --> 00:29:37,175
Richard Thorncroft,
welcome to the show.
566
00:29:38,143 --> 00:29:39,011
Hello.
567
00:29:39,511 --> 00:29:43,315
So, you finished your book,
which is not only deeply entertaining,
568
00:29:43,382 --> 00:29:46,952
it is also the first actor's autobiography
to be nominated for a Booker Prize.
569
00:29:48,253 --> 00:29:51,390
You've embarked on a new production
of Hamlet with Kenneth Branagh.
570
00:29:51,456 --> 00:29:52,824
All after becoming a hero
571
00:29:52,891 --> 00:29:55,861
by making this island safe
for vulnerable women like myself.
572
00:29:55,927 --> 00:29:57,396
-You're welcome.
-Thank you.
573
00:29:58,530 --> 00:30:01,533
After the shock of the accident,
all your hair grew back.
574
00:30:01,800 --> 00:30:05,003
Yes, it's a medical phenomenon
known as follicle neogenesis.
575
00:30:05,137 --> 00:30:09,207
And conversely, when I heardabout the accident, all my hair fell out.
576
00:30:09,308 --> 00:30:12,544
Thanks, Ken, but we're talking
about Richard at the moment.
577
00:30:12,811 --> 00:30:14,413
Oh, I'm so sorry. Sorry. Sorry, Rich.
578
00:30:14,479 --> 00:30:15,347
No probs, Ken.
579
00:30:16,114 --> 00:30:16,982
Okay.
580
00:30:17,916 --> 00:30:18,583
May I?
581
00:30:18,850 --> 00:30:20,485
- Ooh...
- Fill your boots.
582
00:30:21,920 --> 00:30:23,322
Mm. That's it.
583
00:30:24,323 --> 00:30:25,457
Don't be afraid.
584
00:30:26,091 --> 00:30:31,430
With that audition, he changed the waythat people think about making art.
585
00:30:32,230 --> 00:30:34,533
Politically,I think he's become very important.
586
00:30:34,599 --> 00:30:36,268
For me, there is no one else.
587
00:30:37,102 --> 00:30:39,171
-Like Mandela,
-Richard.
588
00:30:39,237 --> 00:30:41,606
Ben Kingsley,and then there is Richard.
589
00:30:41,873 --> 00:30:42,541
Richard...
590
00:30:43,141 --> 00:30:46,978
I am going to give you
the best Manx Day you've ever had.
591
00:30:48,480 --> 00:30:53,118
Of course, the parade is at the heartof Manx Day, always has been,
592
00:30:53,185 --> 00:30:54,886
always will be, but this...
593
00:31:04,096 --> 00:31:06,998
-Richie, baby.
-Jeffrey Moncrief.
594
00:31:07,065 --> 00:31:08,934
Good to see you.
595
00:31:10,202 --> 00:31:13,071
Look at you.
The years have treated you well.
596
00:31:13,138 --> 00:31:14,005
You, too.
597
00:31:14,072 --> 00:31:16,074
Ah. Don't lie. I'm a fucking wreck.
598
00:31:16,174 --> 00:31:17,509
-But who cares, eh?
-That's right.
599
00:31:17,576 --> 00:31:20,379
You did it. They got him. You're a hero.
600
00:31:20,645 --> 00:31:23,081
I don't think you can smoke
in hospitals, Jeff.
601
00:31:23,181 --> 00:31:24,049
Since when?
602
00:31:24,116 --> 00:31:25,250
Since the '50s?
603
00:31:25,317 --> 00:31:28,653
-Oh, right. How did it go with Pat?
-Ha, ha. Oh, very well, actually, yeah.
604
00:31:28,920 --> 00:31:31,556
-I think we might just be in there.
-I bet you are.
605
00:31:31,623 --> 00:31:33,525
-Str-- Strictly business.
-Oh!
606
00:31:33,592 --> 00:31:36,528
Good, 'cause when your heroics
hit the front page,
607
00:31:36,595 --> 00:31:38,663
you'll have minge coming out your arse.
608
00:31:39,331 --> 00:31:40,198
Ah, lovely.
609
00:31:40,265 --> 00:31:41,600
You remember these guys?
610
00:31:42,267 --> 00:31:44,403
Nutmeg, the druid detective.
611
00:31:45,003 --> 00:31:48,507
Moonshaft.
He's blind, he's black and he's back.
612
00:31:48,573 --> 00:31:49,474
They're out on DVD?
613
00:31:49,541 --> 00:31:52,677
Ten grand apiece they got.
And they were shite.
614
00:31:52,944 --> 00:31:56,214
Mindhorn had a metal eye
that could see the truth.
615
00:31:56,281 --> 00:31:58,984
What did Nutmeg have?
Some fucking joss sticks?
616
00:31:59,217 --> 00:32:00,385
This is interesting, Jeff.
617
00:32:00,485 --> 00:32:03,188
Aye, and Pete thinks so, too.
618
00:32:03,255 --> 00:32:06,992
He even wants to release it
through his production company.
619
00:32:07,225 --> 00:32:08,226
Pete Easterman?
620
00:32:08,293 --> 00:32:09,928
The Windjammer himself.
621
00:32:09,995 --> 00:32:11,496
-Ah, mm... This is a bad idea.
-Why?
622
00:32:11,563 --> 00:32:14,032
Pete and I have a history.
Things have been said.
623
00:32:14,099 --> 00:32:16,334
No, that's all water under the bridge.
624
00:32:16,968 --> 00:32:19,638
Pete insisted you come to his country club
this evening.
625
00:32:19,704 --> 00:32:21,473
He wants to make it happen.
626
00:32:21,540 --> 00:32:24,943
Mindhorn series one to three on DVD.
627
00:32:25,210 --> 00:32:28,079
How do you like those apples?
628
00:32:28,213 --> 00:32:30,115
This is actually a bloody good idea.
629
00:32:30,182 --> 00:32:31,616
I told you.
630
00:32:32,284 --> 00:32:35,253
Lovely. Seven o'clock, Jammers Club.
631
00:32:35,320 --> 00:32:37,189
Lock up your pussy!
632
00:32:37,255 --> 00:32:40,058
The Wolf Pack is back on the prowl.
633
00:32:40,492 --> 00:32:42,060
-It's a hospital, Jeff.
-Aye?
634
00:32:42,127 --> 00:32:43,161
Keep it down a little bit.
635
00:32:43,228 --> 00:32:44,996
Flange ahoy, Richie.
636
00:32:45,263 --> 00:32:46,531
Flange ahoy.
637
00:32:46,598 --> 00:32:47,466
Yes indeed.
638
00:32:49,134 --> 00:32:51,436
More on that unfolding tragedy later.
639
00:32:52,637 --> 00:32:55,373
Why does the Manx cat have no tail?
640
00:32:56,074 --> 00:32:59,511
Some say they swam ashoreduring a shipwreck in the 16th century.
641
00:32:59,978 --> 00:33:01,746
Others say it's a genetic mutation...
642
00:33:06,218 --> 00:33:07,085
Chekhov?
643
00:33:08,253 --> 00:33:09,120
Chekhov?
644
00:33:13,658 --> 00:33:15,327
-Hello?
-Hello, you.
645
00:33:16,394 --> 00:33:17,762
-Hello, Richard.
-Hello.
646
00:33:18,029 --> 00:33:20,265
So, you're still at the Heights.
647
00:33:21,199 --> 00:33:22,434
Yes, that's a good guess.
648
00:33:23,435 --> 00:33:25,403
So, I hear they caught Melly.
649
00:33:25,470 --> 00:33:27,072
Yeah. I put him out of action.
650
00:33:27,239 --> 00:33:29,574
That lunatic won't be troubling the women
no more.
651
00:33:29,641 --> 00:33:30,575
Quite a story.
652
00:33:30,675 --> 00:33:31,710
I like to think so.
653
00:33:32,444 --> 00:33:35,080
Richard Thorncroft does something
for somebody else.
654
00:33:35,380 --> 00:33:37,015
Pow. I walked into that.
655
00:33:37,449 --> 00:33:39,017
Where are you at the moment?
656
00:33:39,084 --> 00:33:40,519
Oh, I'm staying at the Grand.
657
00:33:40,585 --> 00:33:43,188
Well, that's where they've put me up,
anyway, you know. Uh...
658
00:33:43,755 --> 00:33:44,723
For my sins.
659
00:33:45,323 --> 00:33:48,126
It's nice, you know, a little, uh, suite.
660
00:33:48,193 --> 00:33:49,561
One of those little suites.
661
00:33:50,262 --> 00:33:51,129
Oh!
662
00:33:51,363 --> 00:33:54,032
Sorry. Just slipped on a breakfast tray.
663
00:33:54,099 --> 00:33:55,500
Bloody room service.
664
00:33:56,434 --> 00:34:00,472
Yeah, I mean, who'd have thought, hey,
you and I would have ended up drifting
665
00:34:00,539 --> 00:34:02,741
like two lonely boats on the sea of life?
666
00:34:04,576 --> 00:34:07,746
Just two boats who crossed once before
667
00:34:07,812 --> 00:34:10,348
and are now crossing again
on the return charter,
668
00:34:10,815 --> 00:34:14,085
looking for that safe harbor,
that magical other person,
669
00:34:14,152 --> 00:34:17,322
and sometimes that other person
can be staring you right in the face
670
00:34:17,389 --> 00:34:19,491
-and you never even realized it.
-Hey, Richie.
671
00:34:21,826 --> 00:34:24,362
- Clive.
- Wow.
672
00:34:24,429 --> 00:34:25,297
Clive.
673
00:34:25,363 --> 00:34:27,432
-It's good to see you.
-So good to see you.
674
00:34:27,499 --> 00:34:29,701
What are you doing in my garden, man?
675
00:34:29,768 --> 00:34:31,469
What are you doing in the garden?
676
00:34:31,536 --> 00:34:33,071
-Well, I live here.
-Yeah.
677
00:34:33,138 --> 00:34:35,073
What? What, in the garden?
678
00:34:35,140 --> 00:34:38,109
No, silly. I live here with Pat.
679
00:34:38,176 --> 00:34:41,112
We've been together
for many, many years now since you left.
680
00:34:41,179 --> 00:34:42,447
-You know that, right?
-Yeah.
681
00:34:42,614 --> 00:34:45,584
-Yeah. Yes, I do. That's old news. Joke.
-You're joking with me.
682
00:34:45,650 --> 00:34:49,421
Oh, wow.
So, what are you doing in the garden?
683
00:34:50,088 --> 00:34:50,755
Yeah.
684
00:34:51,723 --> 00:34:55,293
Just, uh, coming to get some fan mail.
I popped round to get fan mail.
685
00:34:55,360 --> 00:34:57,562
-We get that.
-Yeah, so I thought I'd swing by--
686
00:34:57,629 --> 00:34:59,097
So, what's with the flowers?
687
00:34:59,564 --> 00:35:02,200
-I've got a funeral later to do, so...
-That's sad.
688
00:35:02,267 --> 00:35:04,302
-I guess you're at that age now.
-Yeah, sad.
689
00:35:04,369 --> 00:35:06,538
-Anyone I know?
-John Nettles.
690
00:35:06,605 --> 00:35:09,207
-John Nettles? I know John really well.
-Yeah, not--
691
00:35:09,274 --> 00:35:12,344
-No. Not that John Nettles. Another one.
-Okay. That's a relief.
692
00:35:12,410 --> 00:35:14,412
-Yep.
-Come in. My God, come in.
693
00:35:14,479 --> 00:35:16,481
-Pat's gonna love to see you.
-Yeah.
694
00:35:16,548 --> 00:35:17,716
Everyone wants to see you.
695
00:35:17,782 --> 00:35:19,484
-It's very nice of you.
-Come on in.
696
00:35:19,551 --> 00:35:20,819
-Everyone?
-Yeah.
697
00:35:20,885 --> 00:35:24,389
-Can I have the keys to the Range Rover?
-Hey, Jasmine, look who it is.
698
00:35:24,556 --> 00:35:25,824
-Hi.
-It's Mindhorn.
699
00:35:26,725 --> 00:35:27,726
Hello.
700
00:35:27,792 --> 00:35:30,395
I used to be this guy's stunt man.
Can you believe it?
701
00:35:30,462 --> 00:35:32,130
Look at him now. Look at this.
702
00:35:32,330 --> 00:35:33,598
What is this you have here?
703
00:35:33,665 --> 00:35:37,302
-Well, that's called living the high life.
-Yeah? Too many biscuits?
704
00:35:37,369 --> 00:35:40,205
-Champagne, you know. Other stuff...
-Too many garibaldis.
705
00:35:40,271 --> 00:35:41,806
Steak and rich cheese.
706
00:35:41,873 --> 00:35:44,743
At least he covers himself up.
Can you put some trousers on?
707
00:35:44,809 --> 00:35:48,446
She's joking. She's very funny.
She has her mother's tongue, you know?
708
00:35:50,548 --> 00:35:51,583
Richard Thorncroft?
709
00:35:51,650 --> 00:35:53,485
Yeah, look at him. There he is.
710
00:35:53,685 --> 00:35:56,454
-Yeah, I've heard a lot about you.
-Oh. All of it good, I hope?
711
00:35:57,255 --> 00:35:59,324
Oh! Watch out.
712
00:36:00,325 --> 00:36:05,730
This guy, okay, this guy used to make me
tell everybody he did his own stunts.
713
00:36:05,797 --> 00:36:08,867
-Well, I did a few of my own stunts.
-No, no, you naughty liar.
714
00:36:08,933 --> 00:36:10,568
-That's not lying.
-You never did.
715
00:36:10,635 --> 00:36:12,837
-You never did any, you naughty boy.
-I did some.
716
00:36:12,904 --> 00:36:15,173
-No. He couldn't even drive a car.
-Come on.
717
00:36:15,240 --> 00:36:16,408
But now I have passed.
718
00:36:16,474 --> 00:36:20,311
Well, I'd love to stay here and watch you
two verbally sparring, but I have to go.
719
00:36:20,378 --> 00:36:21,379
Mum, are you ready?
720
00:36:22,614 --> 00:36:25,383
Hey, Pat, look what I found
in the garden.
721
00:36:25,483 --> 00:36:27,385
It's a Richard Thorncroft tree.
722
00:36:27,452 --> 00:36:29,854
I cut him down
and brought him in the house.
723
00:36:31,289 --> 00:36:32,590
- Richard.
- Hello.
724
00:36:32,657 --> 00:36:34,926
What are you doing?
You said you were at the Grand.
725
00:36:35,193 --> 00:36:37,595
Oh, I can answer that.
He's, uh, come for some fan mail.
726
00:36:37,662 --> 00:36:40,598
You're getting your fan mail?
Oh. I'm really touched.
727
00:36:40,665 --> 00:36:43,601
Yeah, there's some in the garage.
I'll go and fetch it for you.
728
00:36:44,669 --> 00:36:47,972
Oh! Don't go getting back together.
I'm kidding. Look at him.
729
00:36:48,239 --> 00:36:49,874
He's so fat now. He's a mess.
730
00:36:49,941 --> 00:36:51,643
Oh, he's great.
731
00:36:52,977 --> 00:36:53,978
Um...
732
00:36:55,814 --> 00:36:56,981
Clive.
733
00:36:57,649 --> 00:36:58,516
Clive.
734
00:36:59,284 --> 00:37:00,685
Clive. Mm.
735
00:37:00,752 --> 00:37:02,754
-You wanna talk about Clive?
-I don't.
736
00:37:02,821 --> 00:37:05,824
No, no. I mean, obviously,
he's a great bloke, lovely bloke.
737
00:37:05,890 --> 00:37:07,325
Uh... Great choice.
738
00:37:07,392 --> 00:37:09,494
Look, I think, uh, I might scoot.
739
00:37:09,561 --> 00:37:12,530
-And we should do that interview, though.
-Sure.
740
00:37:12,597 --> 00:37:15,233
Why don't you, um, pop round to Manx TV
tomorrow?
741
00:37:16,267 --> 00:37:16,935
Okay.
742
00:37:21,940 --> 00:37:23,842
-See you.
-You're going the wrong way.
743
00:37:23,908 --> 00:37:24,776
Yeah.
744
00:37:26,878 --> 00:37:27,912
Oh, hey, Richie.
745
00:37:27,979 --> 00:37:30,381
I wanna show you something.
You're gonna like it.
746
00:37:30,448 --> 00:37:33,718
- I've gotta get to this funeral.
- No. Hey, look at this. Huh?
747
00:37:36,287 --> 00:37:38,356
-Memories, huh?
-Yes, sir.
748
00:37:38,423 --> 00:37:41,860
You know, when I found her, she was
on the scrap heap. Can you believe that?
749
00:37:42,360 --> 00:37:43,695
She was pretty busted up.
750
00:37:44,329 --> 00:37:46,264
One careless owner.
751
00:37:47,599 --> 00:37:49,667
But then I brought her here, fixed her up,
752
00:37:49,734 --> 00:37:52,270
gave her all the love, care,
and attention she needed
753
00:37:52,337 --> 00:37:54,939
and now she goes like a dream.
754
00:37:55,840 --> 00:38:00,712
Take her out for a ride every single day.
755
00:38:01,980 --> 00:38:04,582
And then I fixed up the car.
756
00:38:08,419 --> 00:38:09,687
I was talking about Pat.
757
00:38:09,754 --> 00:38:10,622
Yeah.
758
00:38:11,022 --> 00:38:12,690
-Not the car.
-Mm-hm. Got it.
759
00:38:12,757 --> 00:38:14,893
-Double meaning type thing. I was--
-Very good.
760
00:38:15,660 --> 00:38:16,895
-...being funny.
-Yes.
761
00:38:16,961 --> 00:38:17,962
But you didn't laugh.
762
00:38:18,630 --> 00:38:19,964
No, I'll laugh later.
763
00:38:20,031 --> 00:38:20,932
That's okay.
764
00:38:22,367 --> 00:38:25,403
-Well, thank you for the joke.
-No, no, come get your fan mail.
765
00:38:25,804 --> 00:38:27,772
-It's just through here. Come on.
-Right.
766
00:38:28,006 --> 00:38:30,375
-Yeah, step into my office.
-Okay.
767
00:38:30,441 --> 00:38:33,912
Uh, wow. I didn't realize the show
was so popular. You get so many letters.
768
00:38:33,978 --> 00:38:36,714
Yeah, over the years
it's acquired a certain cachet.
769
00:38:40,852 --> 00:38:41,786
Ah.
770
00:38:44,355 --> 00:38:45,924
You want me to call a man with a van?
771
00:38:46,591 --> 00:38:48,326
-Very-- Very witty.
-Yeah.
772
00:38:48,393 --> 00:38:49,761
-Yeah.
-I did two jokes.
773
00:38:49,828 --> 00:38:51,596
One over there and then one just now.
774
00:38:52,063 --> 00:38:54,566
-I see you're very proud of yourself.
-A little bit.
775
00:38:54,666 --> 00:38:55,667
You know what you are?
776
00:38:56,334 --> 00:38:58,636
You are my stuntman.
That's all you'll ever be.
777
00:38:58,703 --> 00:39:01,639
-Yeah, it's my job, though, so...
-What, to be my stand-in?
778
00:39:01,706 --> 00:39:04,108
I'm a stand-in when people
can't do things physically.
779
00:39:04,375 --> 00:39:05,877
That's when they call me. You know?
780
00:39:05,944 --> 00:39:07,912
I'm at the top of my physical game, sir.
781
00:39:08,580 --> 00:39:10,515
You're hiding it really well these days.
782
00:39:10,582 --> 00:39:12,584
Yeah? Don't make me release the Ginga.
783
00:39:12,650 --> 00:39:15,486
Ginga? You're going to play
giant wooden blocks with me?
784
00:39:15,553 --> 00:39:17,689
Ginga, not Jenga. It's a capoeira term.
785
00:39:17,755 --> 00:39:18,857
It could get messy, sir.
786
00:39:19,891 --> 00:39:22,527
Enjoy reading the fan mail.
Don't read it all at once.
787
00:39:24,996 --> 00:39:26,631
You forgot your flowers.
788
00:39:28,833 --> 00:39:29,934
Oh, sweet.
789
00:39:31,970 --> 00:39:34,472
Hey, baby, I got you some flowers.
790
00:39:35,506 --> 00:39:38,009
-Thanks.
-Yeah, you know, just to say good luck
791
00:39:38,076 --> 00:39:40,678
-with the golf and--
-"It's time to get some pussy"?
792
00:39:44,482 --> 00:39:46,818
Well... it's been a while.
793
00:39:47,819 --> 00:39:50,488
-I'm gonna play golf.
-I'm gonna do some gardening.
794
00:39:54,993 --> 00:39:56,594
-It's nice.
-Don't.
795
00:40:01,566 --> 00:40:02,800
Do you fancy a toot?
796
00:40:02,867 --> 00:40:05,870
I'm gonna say no to that, Jeff,
actually, in public especially
797
00:40:05,937 --> 00:40:08,907
because, uh, I had to give that up
due to adverse chemical reactions.
798
00:40:08,973 --> 00:40:11,709
- Let's make some fucking deals.
- Yes, let's do that.
799
00:40:11,776 --> 00:40:14,012
Listen, I might take a lead
when we get in there.
800
00:40:14,078 --> 00:40:16,447
Do the talking.
You could perhaps hang back.
801
00:40:16,514 --> 00:40:18,182
-I'm not going in.
-You're not going in?
802
00:40:18,449 --> 00:40:21,419
-No, I'm barred.
-You didn't mention that either.
803
00:40:21,486 --> 00:40:22,887
-It's a long story.
-Okay, Jeff.
804
00:40:22,954 --> 00:40:24,656
-I'll see you after.
-See you later.
805
00:40:24,722 --> 00:40:26,491
-Still got some stuff--
-Right. Ahem.
806
00:40:29,594 --> 00:40:30,461
Hello, sir.
807
00:40:37,702 --> 00:40:38,603
- You like--?
- Yes...
808
00:40:40,939 --> 00:40:42,674
What a twat.
809
00:40:44,709 --> 00:40:46,444
Richard Horncroft.
810
00:40:47,712 --> 00:40:48,913
The beast-man.
811
00:40:49,614 --> 00:40:51,950
Be careful, ladies.
This guy is a real live wire.
812
00:40:52,016 --> 00:40:53,851
Dangerous to know.
813
00:40:55,153 --> 00:40:56,020
-Twang!
-Oof!
814
00:40:57,588 --> 00:40:58,523
Hmm!
815
00:40:58,756 --> 00:41:00,124
Ah.
816
00:41:00,525 --> 00:41:02,493
What you been doing?
Where you been hiding?
817
00:41:02,560 --> 00:41:04,162
Inside a busy schedule.
818
00:41:04,829 --> 00:41:06,698
-Really?
-Mm. Ha, ha.
819
00:41:07,131 --> 00:41:09,534
-How am I looking?
-You're looking good.
820
00:41:09,600 --> 00:41:10,601
Yeah, I know.
821
00:41:10,668 --> 00:41:14,639
So, a little dick bird tells me you've got
an idea floating around in the old bonsai.
822
00:41:14,706 --> 00:41:18,710
Mm, I certainly do. The heat I'm about to
generate off the back of the police thing
823
00:41:18,776 --> 00:41:22,647
I think could be funneled through
into a DVD release.
824
00:41:22,714 --> 00:41:24,949
-That's where you come in.
-That's a sweet angle.
825
00:41:25,016 --> 00:41:28,152
I think so, too. So, what do you think?
Are we in business on this?
826
00:41:32,790 --> 00:41:34,792
I say yeah, let's do it, let's sign.
827
00:41:35,827 --> 00:41:36,694
All right.
828
00:41:38,529 --> 00:41:39,197
Thanks, Coco.
829
00:41:40,598 --> 00:41:42,900
Pete, I like the way you do business.
830
00:41:43,835 --> 00:41:46,004
We're heading back to the big time.
831
00:41:46,270 --> 00:41:47,505
There you are.
832
00:41:48,272 --> 00:41:50,942
Before we, uh, seal this puppy
833
00:41:51,009 --> 00:41:53,011
is there anything else
you wanna run by me?
834
00:41:53,611 --> 00:41:55,213
No. I think we're good to go, yeah?
835
00:41:56,848 --> 00:42:00,651
I mean, nothing
that you might have said, uh, publicly?
836
00:42:02,887 --> 00:42:04,689
You called me a stinking ham, on Wogan,
837
00:42:04,756 --> 00:42:07,258
with the emotional range of a chair leg.
838
00:42:08,626 --> 00:42:09,727
Did I say that?
839
00:42:09,794 --> 00:42:12,997
Gotta say, you've got brass balls
coming in here. I'll give you that.
840
00:42:14,032 --> 00:42:17,635
Okay, look, I just wanted to come here
with an opportunity,
841
00:42:17,869 --> 00:42:21,005
-something for you to get involved in.
-In your pathetic career?
842
00:42:21,639 --> 00:42:22,673
You've gone too far.
843
00:42:22,740 --> 00:42:24,909
I've got plenty of offers
all over this island.
844
00:42:24,976 --> 00:42:28,813
-I don't need to go to you.
-I'm sure you're inundated with requests
845
00:42:28,880 --> 00:42:31,849
for the greatest actor of his generation.
Behold...
846
00:42:32,250 --> 00:42:35,186
When you're the headof a busy multinational corporation,
847
00:42:35,253 --> 00:42:37,188
you don't have time to exercise.
848
00:42:37,555 --> 00:42:40,291
But with Tumpers,the man girdle system for men,
849
00:42:40,558 --> 00:42:42,960
you don't have to waste timeon your waistline.
850
00:42:43,027 --> 00:42:45,263
Tumpers man girdle tightens the waist,
851
00:42:45,329 --> 00:42:48,566
removing unsightly side, back,and tummy bulge.
852
00:42:50,301 --> 00:42:52,570
- Yeah? Something funny?
- You're finished.
853
00:42:52,970 --> 00:42:54,972
You fucked off to Hollywood 25 years ago
854
00:42:55,039 --> 00:42:58,943
'cause some L.A. windbag said
you were gonna be the next Burt Reynolds.
855
00:42:59,644 --> 00:43:02,580
Ehh. You gambled and you lost.
You lost at life.
856
00:43:05,049 --> 00:43:07,351
- You're living in a dream world.
- In a dream world?
857
00:43:07,618 --> 00:43:09,887
Sorry, that's funny,
because this is a dream world.
858
00:43:09,954 --> 00:43:12,090
You're living in a plastic palace.
859
00:43:12,156 --> 00:43:14,125
None of this is real. This is not real.
860
00:43:14,192 --> 00:43:16,227
That's real, but this is not real.
861
00:43:16,294 --> 00:43:20,631
It's full of sycophants and prostitutes.
862
00:43:21,833 --> 00:43:22,867
You're a joke, Richard.
863
00:43:26,971 --> 00:43:30,041
Pat never charged me.
That one was on the house.
864
00:43:35,780 --> 00:43:37,381
Shit! Sorry.
865
00:43:37,648 --> 00:43:40,818
-Sorry. I was not aiming for you.
-Someone get Richard a skinny green.
866
00:43:40,885 --> 00:43:42,753
- She all right?
- Shove it up your ass.
867
00:43:42,820 --> 00:43:43,988
Somebody call the police.
868
00:43:45,022 --> 00:43:46,023
Get that cocaine.
869
00:43:46,757 --> 00:43:50,061
And he's made one of the biggest mistakes
of his professional career.
870
00:43:50,128 --> 00:43:53,331
That's right.
That's it, Richie. Get it down you.
871
00:43:54,699 --> 00:43:55,633
I love you.
872
00:43:59,370 --> 00:44:01,139
Do you remember this?
873
00:44:08,079 --> 00:44:09,380
And action!
874
00:44:10,948 --> 00:44:12,984
Mindhorn is back.
875
00:44:20,892 --> 00:44:25,096
Up yours! This island is a shithole!
876
00:44:34,839 --> 00:44:35,873
Ah.
877
00:44:36,340 --> 00:44:37,942
That was a classic night, Jeff.
878
00:44:44,715 --> 00:44:47,084
Can I get you an Alka-Seltzer?
879
00:44:47,752 --> 00:44:48,452
Oh, shit.
880
00:44:50,021 --> 00:44:53,691
If you ever set foot on this island again,
you're going to jail.
881
00:44:54,692 --> 00:44:56,460
-Is this about your wife?
-What?
882
00:44:57,061 --> 00:45:00,865
We've never forgotten what you said
about the Isle of Man on Wogan.
883
00:45:01,332 --> 00:45:04,735
You said that we had a limited gene pool.
884
00:45:04,969 --> 00:45:06,304
Well, you do.
885
00:45:07,438 --> 00:45:09,440
And you have nothing on me because...
886
00:45:11,409 --> 00:45:12,910
You're joking, aren't you?
887
00:45:13,811 --> 00:45:17,448
I could bang you up
just for the vandalism alone.
888
00:45:17,715 --> 00:45:18,950
Yes.
889
00:45:20,251 --> 00:45:21,319
What vandalism?
890
00:45:22,119 --> 00:45:25,122
On this side we have a penis here,
as you can see, the scrotum.
891
00:45:25,323 --> 00:45:26,991
In Holland we call this the acorn.
892
00:45:27,358 --> 00:45:30,428
Got breasts here,
phallus, this time with the sputum.
893
00:45:30,494 --> 00:45:33,264
I don't know what this is.
894
00:45:33,931 --> 00:45:35,366
-That's an anus.
-No.
895
00:45:35,933 --> 00:45:37,935
- I think it's a titty.
- All right, Richard.
896
00:45:38,002 --> 00:45:40,371
You just wait here and I will get the car.
897
00:45:40,438 --> 00:45:42,139
- Okay.
- Oh, hey, Rich.
898
00:45:42,340 --> 00:45:45,810
Hey, settle an argument.
What is this here? Is it an anus?
899
00:45:46,277 --> 00:45:49,046
I don't know what that is.
It's got nothing to do with me.
900
00:45:49,113 --> 00:45:50,247
You signed it, you moron.
901
00:45:50,881 --> 00:45:52,850
Well, I can speak English.
902
00:45:52,917 --> 00:45:56,020
Now he's racist, so write this down.
Racist.
903
00:46:00,291 --> 00:46:02,360
You know,
I nearly believed you for a minute.
904
00:46:02,426 --> 00:46:06,130
Look, I came here to help the police
and just things... went a bit wrong.
905
00:46:06,197 --> 00:46:08,499
You came back
to get some publicity from the murder.
906
00:46:08,766 --> 00:46:12,003
-That's not why I came back.
-Stop lying to yourself, Richard.
907
00:46:12,370 --> 00:46:15,239
And you're not lying to yourself?
Serious journalism?
908
00:46:16,007 --> 00:46:19,410
Manx cats with no tails?
Pat, you used to be an artist.
909
00:46:19,777 --> 00:46:21,879
I was a piece of totty in a shit TV show.
910
00:46:21,946 --> 00:46:24,415
Mindhorn was not a shit TV show.
911
00:46:30,154 --> 00:46:31,022
Hey, Richie.
912
00:46:32,123 --> 00:46:33,991
You keep leaving things at the house.
913
00:46:34,492 --> 00:46:37,928
Your jacket, Pat, your dignity.
914
00:46:37,995 --> 00:46:39,296
You think you've got it all,
don't you, Clive?
915
00:46:39,363 --> 00:46:42,333
You've got it all sewn up.
What you've got is a domestic prison.
916
00:46:42,400 --> 00:46:43,567
Better than a real prison.
917
00:46:43,834 --> 00:46:45,870
You've got your little wife,
little daughter.
918
00:46:45,936 --> 00:46:47,271
I've got freedom on my side.
919
00:46:47,338 --> 00:46:48,973
-I go where the wind takes me.
-Jasmine isn't mine.
920
00:46:49,040 --> 00:46:50,441
-What?
-Jasmine isn't mine.
921
00:46:50,508 --> 00:46:53,110
-Pat never told you?
-Pat didn't tell me what?
922
00:46:53,844 --> 00:46:55,413
What about Jasmine?
923
00:46:55,479 --> 00:46:56,347
Richard!
924
00:46:58,282 --> 00:47:00,551
Yeah, bye, Richard.
Nice to see you.
925
00:47:01,819 --> 00:47:04,055
-He's a very confused man.
-Yeah, tell me about it.
926
00:47:04,121 --> 00:47:05,589
He didn't even know about Jasmine.
927
00:47:06,123 --> 00:47:08,092
-Your daughter?
-No, she's not my daughter.
928
00:47:08,159 --> 00:47:09,427
I've had the, uh, snip.
929
00:47:10,061 --> 00:47:12,963
No, she's, uh...
Peter Easterman's daughter.
930
00:47:13,831 --> 00:47:15,900
-You had the snip, Green?
-No.
931
00:47:16,233 --> 00:47:17,368
Something to think about.
932
00:47:37,888 --> 00:47:39,490
Well, we got our man.
933
00:47:39,557 --> 00:47:41,892
Hopefully that makes up for
the graffiti, and, uh...
934
00:47:41,959 --> 00:47:44,628
Well, who knows,
maybe under different circumstances--
935
00:47:44,895 --> 00:47:45,963
Yeah, thanks, bye.
936
00:47:54,939 --> 00:47:56,240
Richard, hi.
937
00:47:56,307 --> 00:47:59,276
I think you're going throughanother transitional phase.
938
00:47:59,343 --> 00:48:02,379
From unemployed actorto unemployable actor.
939
00:48:02,446 --> 00:48:03,914
I'm gonna have to let you go.
940
00:48:03,981 --> 00:48:05,649
I've left your head shots in reception.
941
00:48:05,916 --> 00:48:07,485
When you collect them, don't come up.
942
00:48:14,592 --> 00:48:16,894
- Are you finished?
- Hmm?
943
00:48:16,994 --> 00:48:18,462
-The newspaper?
-Oh, yeah.
944
00:48:32,009 --> 00:48:36,213
Would foot passengersawaiting the 2:15 departure to Liverpool
945
00:48:36,280 --> 00:48:39,183
now kindly make their wayto the ferry terminal.
946
00:48:52,196 --> 00:48:55,699
Clue number one.The killer is a secret baldie.
947
00:49:03,674 --> 00:49:08,145
Clue number two.A videotape of the actual killing.
948
00:49:18,088 --> 00:49:20,090
Breaking news at the Laxey Wheel.
949
00:49:20,324 --> 00:49:23,527
Suspected murderer Paul Mellyhas escaped from Greenborough Hospital
950
00:49:23,594 --> 00:49:25,296
and taken himself hostage.
951
00:49:25,362 --> 00:49:27,364
The public are warnednot to approach Melly,
952
00:49:27,431 --> 00:49:29,233
as he is both armed and dangerous.
953
00:49:29,533 --> 00:49:30,734
Get me Mindhorn!
954
00:49:31,635 --> 00:49:33,971
Mindhorn's coming back.
955
00:49:34,638 --> 00:49:37,208
-Jeff.
-Hey, Richie.
956
00:49:37,274 --> 00:49:39,476
-What happened to you last night?
-Play this.
957
00:49:39,543 --> 00:49:41,545
-Oh, right.
-Melly sent it to me.
958
00:49:41,712 --> 00:49:43,681
Well, he sent it to Mindhorn.
959
00:49:45,082 --> 00:49:48,285
Hello, Mindhorn.Kestrel here, reporting for duty.
960
00:49:48,352 --> 00:49:51,989
This is going to bean apocalypse of justice
961
00:49:52,056 --> 00:49:55,326
for the bald man who really diddo the murder of Miss Lipinskii.
962
00:49:55,392 --> 00:49:59,063
He-- He pushed herand he strangled her.
963
00:50:00,731 --> 00:50:03,000
And another man helped himwith the body.
964
00:50:03,067 --> 00:50:04,001
Who is that?
965
00:50:04,335 --> 00:50:07,304
They didn't catch me, though,because I hid in the bushes.
966
00:50:09,039 --> 00:50:13,410
He had these posh shoes,posh shoes with cats on them.
967
00:50:14,111 --> 00:50:15,546
All right, see you soon, Mindhorn.
968
00:50:18,349 --> 00:50:20,284
Melly's innocent. He's innocent.
969
00:50:20,684 --> 00:50:23,153
-Give me the tape.
-Why? What you gonna do with it?
970
00:50:23,220 --> 00:50:26,490
I'm gonna take it to the chief,
shove it up his ass and press play.
971
00:50:27,157 --> 00:50:29,660
No, no, no. I've got a better idea.
972
00:50:29,727 --> 00:50:33,063
The man on this tape
might pay some real money for this.
973
00:50:33,697 --> 00:50:34,565
What, blackmail?
974
00:50:34,632 --> 00:50:36,767
-Aye.
-This is low even for you, Jeff.
975
00:50:37,034 --> 00:50:41,105
-Surely things aren't that bad.
-Of course they fucking are.
976
00:50:41,205 --> 00:50:44,074
Look at me. I live in a caravan.
977
00:50:44,141 --> 00:50:48,145
-This is your office, Jeff.
-I don't have a fucking office.
978
00:50:48,212 --> 00:50:51,815
-What about your secretary?
-That is my secretary.
979
00:50:52,583 --> 00:50:55,319
Twenty-five years I've been here,
980
00:50:55,786 --> 00:51:00,424
-since you, arsehole, walked out on me.
-There comes a time in an actor's life
981
00:51:00,658 --> 00:51:03,060
when he has to move away
from the small screen.
982
00:51:03,127 --> 00:51:06,597
I used to have money.
I used to get your cast-offs.
983
00:51:06,664 --> 00:51:08,666
I was like a pig in shite!
984
00:51:09,333 --> 00:51:12,536
And then you waltzed off to the big time.
985
00:51:12,603 --> 00:51:16,640
-I live in a flat in Walthamstow.
-Oh, he lives in a flat!
986
00:51:16,707 --> 00:51:20,244
Well, what about me?
I want what is due to me.
987
00:51:20,311 --> 00:51:23,080
I want a Bentley convertible.
988
00:51:23,147 --> 00:51:25,382
I want a trophy wife!
989
00:51:25,849 --> 00:51:31,322
I want a fucking infinity pool.
990
00:51:32,856 --> 00:51:34,558
Jeff, it's-- It's okay.
991
00:51:35,526 --> 00:51:37,261
It's not as bad as you think, okay?
992
00:51:37,494 --> 00:51:41,165
Things aren't that bad.
There's a silver lining to every cloud.
993
00:51:41,231 --> 00:51:43,834
Oh, no, you don't, you sneaky bastard.
994
00:51:44,201 --> 00:51:46,403
Not this time. You owe me.
995
00:51:46,637 --> 00:51:49,106
We need to take a step back here, Jeff.
996
00:51:49,573 --> 00:51:52,776
A mentally fragile young man
is calling for my help.
997
00:51:52,843 --> 00:51:56,680
-Yesterday you said he was a retard.
-Maybe I've seen a few things since then.
998
00:51:56,747 --> 00:51:59,817
-Maybe my eyes have been opened.
-What are you talking about?
999
00:51:59,883 --> 00:52:00,784
I'm a father, Jeff.
1000
00:52:01,785 --> 00:52:03,754
I've sired a daughter, with Pat.
1001
00:52:04,188 --> 00:52:05,356
What, Jasmine?
1002
00:52:06,390 --> 00:52:07,624
You idiot.
1003
00:52:07,691 --> 00:52:11,729
She could have been anyone's
the way Pat put it about after you left.
1004
00:52:14,231 --> 00:52:16,567
-You take that back.
-Aye, I'm sorry.
1005
00:52:16,633 --> 00:52:18,769
You take a long, hard look
at yourself, Jeff.
1006
00:52:19,536 --> 00:52:21,438
I'm sorry.
I'm not thinking straight.
1007
00:52:23,207 --> 00:52:25,275
-Give me the tape.
-Okay.
1008
00:52:28,479 --> 00:52:29,747
You're doing the right thing.
1009
00:52:33,417 --> 00:52:34,385
Truth time.
1010
00:52:38,322 --> 00:52:40,758
Bruce Mindhorn becamethe best plainclothes detective
1011
00:52:40,824 --> 00:52:42,659
the Isle of Man had ever seen.
1012
00:52:42,826 --> 00:52:45,829
Out the way! Coming-- Coming through!
1013
00:52:50,868 --> 00:52:51,835
Oh, God, no.
1014
00:52:51,902 --> 00:52:55,572
Jasmine, I'm sorry.
1015
00:52:56,340 --> 00:52:57,374
What for?
1016
00:52:57,441 --> 00:52:58,909
Everything.
1017
00:52:59,810 --> 00:53:02,479
You know about me and your mother
and who I am.
1018
00:53:02,546 --> 00:53:04,548
Yes, yes, sadly I do.
1019
00:53:04,615 --> 00:53:06,517
I want you to know I'm proud of you.
1020
00:53:06,950 --> 00:53:08,752
-Jas-- Can I call you Jas?
-No.
1021
00:53:09,386 --> 00:53:11,922
I want us to get to know each other
really well, yeah?
1022
00:53:12,189 --> 00:53:12,856
This is weird.
1023
00:53:12,923 --> 00:53:16,293
I wanna give you my number.
I want us to set up regular phone calls.
1024
00:53:16,360 --> 00:53:19,596
-That's never gonna happen.
-Okay, we'll go at your pace.
1025
00:53:19,663 --> 00:53:21,598
But watch the news, Jasmine,
1026
00:53:21,665 --> 00:53:24,668
because you're gonna see your daddy
blow the lid off this island!
1027
00:53:32,276 --> 00:53:35,846
So, to sum up,do we have a deal, then?
1028
00:53:36,513 --> 00:53:38,348
I don't take very kindly to blackmail.
1029
00:53:38,415 --> 00:53:40,784
All right, keep your wig on.
1030
00:53:41,885 --> 00:53:43,353
Okay, I'll see you there.
1031
00:53:44,588 --> 00:53:47,524
-So, the simpleton was filming us?
-Yeah, it looks like it.
1032
00:53:49,693 --> 00:53:53,430
I'm starting to think framing Melly
was a really bad idea.
1033
00:53:54,398 --> 00:53:55,732
Get me Mindhorn!
1034
00:53:56,366 --> 00:53:58,302
Mindhorn!
1035
00:53:58,836 --> 00:54:01,505
Do you have a statement to make
about the situation?
1036
00:54:01,572 --> 00:54:04,675
The Isle of Man is stillone of the safest and most tranquil
1037
00:54:04,741 --> 00:54:06,810
tourist destinations in the world.
1038
00:54:07,444 --> 00:54:08,879
Get me Mindhorn!
1039
00:54:09,613 --> 00:54:11,248
-Mindhorn's here!
-What?
1040
00:54:11,315 --> 00:54:13,350
I've got this, chief. Stand your men down.
1041
00:54:15,385 --> 00:54:16,286
Is this the camera?
1042
00:54:17,588 --> 00:54:19,389
This man is innocent!
1043
00:54:19,456 --> 00:54:21,959
This tape will be the proof of my word.
1044
00:54:23,260 --> 00:54:24,695
Might wanna swing a lens, go wide.
1045
00:54:24,761 --> 00:54:26,964
Richard, what the hell
do you think you're doing?
1046
00:54:27,698 --> 00:54:29,833
Trust me.
Get one of your boffins to play this.
1047
00:54:30,033 --> 00:54:31,802
It shows that Melly's innocent.
1048
00:54:32,469 --> 00:54:33,504
How do I look?
1049
00:54:33,971 --> 00:54:35,439
Like you might need some help.
1050
00:54:35,906 --> 00:54:37,541
Too late. I work alone.
1051
00:54:39,776 --> 00:54:42,746
I'm coming, Melly!
Detective Mindhorn's on the case!
1052
00:54:43,413 --> 00:54:44,381
Mindhorn!
1053
00:54:47,584 --> 00:54:49,353
Shit. Jesus.
1054
00:54:52,322 --> 00:54:53,056
Oh, God.
1055
00:54:55,425 --> 00:54:56,393
Hi, Mindhorn.
1056
00:54:57,027 --> 00:55:01,532
Mindhorn... is this still
Operation Apocalypse of Justice?
1057
00:55:01,598 --> 00:55:03,567
I know you're innocent.
I've seen the tape.
1058
00:55:03,634 --> 00:55:05,769
This man is innocent! Play the tape!
1059
00:55:06,436 --> 00:55:08,839
We'll play the tape at the station.
1060
00:55:08,906 --> 00:55:10,807
No, no, I'm not going down the station.
1061
00:55:10,874 --> 00:55:12,976
-Play the tape now. Play it now.
-Okay-- Okay. Whoa.
1062
00:55:13,043 --> 00:55:16,480
-He's serious, Patricia, and so am I.
-Yeah.
1063
00:55:16,780 --> 00:55:19,650
Okay, people, get ready to witness
some truth bombs.
1064
00:55:22,085 --> 00:55:23,987
You know how to do it, don't you?
1065
00:55:24,988 --> 00:55:27,824
-What?
-I'm gonna shit the truth out, bang.
1066
00:55:27,891 --> 00:55:31,061
-This is the wrong tape.
-My name is Bruce Mindhorn.
1067
00:55:31,328 --> 00:55:32,663
He swapped the... Okay.
1068
00:55:32,729 --> 00:55:35,999
Jeffrey Moncrief, who I will kill,
has got the real tape.
1069
00:55:36,066 --> 00:55:39,069
It's in-- It's in the caravan.
We have to go to the caravan.
1070
00:55:39,836 --> 00:55:42,039
We'll do that when you both come down.
1071
00:55:42,706 --> 00:55:47,110
-Richard, is Melly armed?
-No, no, no. Negative.
1072
00:55:47,377 --> 00:55:48,612
No, I have got a gun.
1073
00:55:50,113 --> 00:55:52,849
- This is not a gun. It's not real.
- Yeah, it is real.
1074
00:55:52,916 --> 00:55:54,785
- It's not real.
- It is real.
1075
00:55:54,851 --> 00:55:56,853
-It's not. It's a toy.
-It's not a toy.
1076
00:55:56,920 --> 00:55:58,922
See? I told you.
1077
00:55:58,989 --> 00:56:00,824
-That's a green light. Shoot.
-Go, man.
1078
00:56:00,924 --> 00:56:02,759
- Go.
- Okay.
1079
00:56:02,826 --> 00:56:04,595
-This way.
-This is not the way to go!
1080
00:56:06,597 --> 00:56:07,731
Call Equity!
1081
00:56:07,798 --> 00:56:09,933
- What's the hoo-hah?
- Thorncroft's gone insane.
1082
00:56:10,000 --> 00:56:11,034
This is terrible.
1083
00:56:12,436 --> 00:56:14,137
Wait. Did he sign that DVD thing?
1084
00:56:14,471 --> 00:56:16,673
-Yeah.
-In which case it's fantastic.
1085
00:56:17,140 --> 00:56:20,477
Stop shooting! I haven't done anything!
1086
00:56:20,944 --> 00:56:23,480
Stop making that stupid bird noise!
1087
00:56:23,614 --> 00:56:24,948
Stop there!
1088
00:56:25,949 --> 00:56:27,851
-Stop!
-They're heading into the mine.
1089
00:56:29,720 --> 00:56:30,687
Stop right there!
1090
00:56:42,966 --> 00:56:45,602
They've gone again, chief. For now.
1091
00:57:07,057 --> 00:57:08,792
DS Baines.
1092
00:57:09,559 --> 00:57:10,494
Clever boy.
1093
00:57:11,528 --> 00:57:12,796
You're coming with me.
1094
00:57:14,531 --> 00:57:17,668
All I want to know
is who else has seen this tape?
1095
00:57:17,734 --> 00:57:20,704
Oh, no, no, no. I can't reveal my sources.
1096
00:57:22,105 --> 00:57:25,776
It was Richard Thorncroft.
This whole thing was his idea.
1097
00:57:25,943 --> 00:57:27,778
And possibly Pat Deville.
1098
00:57:27,844 --> 00:57:28,845
Pat Deville?
1099
00:57:28,912 --> 00:57:30,681
He picked it up from her house.
1100
00:57:31,748 --> 00:57:33,216
How about 30 grand?
1101
00:57:33,583 --> 00:57:35,018
Jeffrey.
1102
00:57:35,752 --> 00:57:38,522
The last person
who tried to blackmail me...
1103
00:57:38,989 --> 00:57:40,590
is on this tape.
1104
00:57:40,657 --> 00:57:43,860
Only I haven't had a torrid affair
with you, Jeff.
1105
00:57:44,695 --> 00:57:47,731
Let's call it 50 quid
and everybody's happy, eh?
1106
00:57:51,835 --> 00:57:53,937
Great. This isn't the Bronx.
1107
00:57:54,004 --> 00:57:55,672
This is the Isle of Man!
1108
00:58:05,849 --> 00:58:06,783
You okay, Mindhorn?
1109
00:58:06,850 --> 00:58:08,585
Oh, God. I'm gonna be sick.
1110
00:58:08,652 --> 00:58:09,653
Come on, this way.
1111
00:58:09,853 --> 00:58:10,721
To safety.
1112
00:58:10,787 --> 00:58:12,255
-Where are we going?
-The nest!
1113
00:58:12,522 --> 00:58:14,725
It's lucky you're special forces.
1114
00:58:16,793 --> 00:58:17,894
How much further?
1115
00:58:17,961 --> 00:58:20,731
It's just here.
1116
00:58:20,797 --> 00:58:22,833
- What's this?
- We've got to jump.
1117
00:58:23,500 --> 00:58:24,167
Oh, yeah.
1118
00:58:24,501 --> 00:58:25,969
Yeah, let's just jump off a cliff!
1119
00:58:26,036 --> 00:58:28,005
Yeah. You first.
1120
00:58:38,181 --> 00:58:40,951
It now seems certainthe actor Richard Thorncroft,
1121
00:58:41,018 --> 00:58:43,954
who disappeared two days ago, is dead.
1122
00:58:44,021 --> 00:58:46,289
Thorncroft is the chief suspectin the murder
1123
00:58:46,556 --> 00:58:49,092
of Mindhorn PR guru Jeffrey Moncrief.
1124
00:58:49,159 --> 00:58:51,828
It is now acceptedthat Thorncroft could be suffering
1125
00:58:51,895 --> 00:58:53,597
a severe mental breakdown
1126
00:58:53,663 --> 00:58:56,633
after a long career lullsince the hit show ended.
1127
00:58:56,700 --> 00:58:59,169
Even a short walkcan take its toll on the lower legs.
1128
00:58:59,536 --> 00:59:01,738
That's why I use Thrombi-Sox.
1129
00:59:01,805 --> 00:59:03,940
Jeffrey Moncrief, who I will kill...
1130
00:59:04,941 --> 00:59:09,179
You can never say that it's a good thingwhen someone is dead,
1131
00:59:10,747 --> 00:59:15,952
but maybe with Richardthis has been for the best.
1132
00:59:16,019 --> 00:59:20,657
I keep expecting himto walk through the door and, uh, say:
1133
00:59:20,724 --> 00:59:24,027
"Hey, Pete, old buddy,how are the DVD sales going?"
1134
00:59:24,094 --> 00:59:28,565
Because, of course, you know,
Mindhorn is finally released today on DVD.
1135
00:59:28,632 --> 00:59:29,299
Yeah.
1136
00:59:29,766 --> 00:59:32,903
Um, could you stop filming now?I think I might be about to cry.
1137
00:59:32,969 --> 00:59:35,272
Thorncroft's excursion intothe recording studio
1138
00:59:35,338 --> 00:59:37,674
yielded this album from 1990.
1139
00:59:37,741 --> 00:59:40,811
His signature tune,"Can't Handcuff the Wind,"
1140
00:59:40,877 --> 00:59:43,780
reached number onein several East European countries.
1141
00:59:44,915 --> 00:59:47,784
d You can't handcuff the wind d
1142
00:59:48,685 --> 00:59:51,354
d And if you try, you're gonna fail d
1143
00:59:55,859 --> 00:59:56,827
Hi.
1144
00:59:58,128 --> 00:59:59,629
You're gonna love this.
1145
00:59:59,696 --> 01:00:02,799
I've made you look
exactly how you used to.
1146
01:00:07,938 --> 01:00:09,206
You're crazy!
1147
01:00:09,272 --> 01:00:10,874
It's perfect.
1148
01:00:12,943 --> 01:00:14,077
I can't move.
1149
01:00:14,144 --> 01:00:15,946
-I glued you into your clothes.
-What?
1150
01:00:16,012 --> 01:00:18,315
There's three rolls of masking tape
around your neck.
1151
01:00:18,381 --> 01:00:19,850
You glued me into my clothes?
1152
01:00:19,916 --> 01:00:22,052
Your hair came off in the sea.
1153
01:00:22,385 --> 01:00:24,621
But it's okay,
'cause I stuck it back on...
1154
01:00:24,988 --> 01:00:26,890
-I can't breathe.
-...with superglue.
1155
01:00:26,957 --> 01:00:28,859
So, it will never come off again.
1156
01:00:31,161 --> 01:00:32,028
Good, innit?
1157
01:00:34,731 --> 01:00:35,632
And your eye patch.
1158
01:00:35,699 --> 01:00:36,366
Where are we?
1159
01:00:36,633 --> 01:00:39,002
We are in an underground lair. The nest.
1160
01:00:39,069 --> 01:00:44,841
And this is where we complete
Operation Apocalypse of Justice.
1161
01:00:44,908 --> 01:00:47,644
Right. First, we need a penknife.
1162
01:00:48,178 --> 01:00:50,914
And this recorder belt. Ha!
1163
01:00:50,981 --> 01:00:52,649
Recorder belt. Ha!
1164
01:00:52,716 --> 01:00:55,785
Fake blood
for fooling the baddies, and...
1165
01:00:57,087 --> 01:00:57,988
pretend gun.
1166
01:00:58,722 --> 01:01:01,725
'Cause I'm your partner
and we're working on a case.
1167
01:01:01,791 --> 01:01:05,395
-And it's a good case, isn't it, Mindhorn?
-Yeah, it's a really good case.
1168
01:01:05,896 --> 01:01:08,832
Yeah, just one small problem is
I'm not Mindhorn.
1169
01:01:09,733 --> 01:01:12,402
There is no Mindhorn. Mindhorn isn't real.
1170
01:01:12,669 --> 01:01:14,671
He-- He-- He is real.
1171
01:01:14,738 --> 01:01:18,275
-Uh... Truth powder.
-That is merchandise, okay?
1172
01:01:18,341 --> 01:01:21,912
Do you know what merchandise is?
Cheap rubbish we sell to idiots, yeah?
1173
01:01:21,978 --> 01:01:25,182
And by the way, that nearly blinded
four teenagers in Whitby in 1989.
1174
01:01:25,248 --> 01:01:27,117
-Had to be taken off the market.
-Did it?
1175
01:01:27,184 --> 01:01:28,885
Mindhorn is a fictional character
1176
01:01:28,952 --> 01:01:31,154
in a TV show I did
a quarter of a century ago.
1177
01:01:31,855 --> 01:01:33,223
What's a fictional character?
1178
01:01:33,290 --> 01:01:35,125
I'm an actor. Well, I used to be.
1179
01:01:35,192 --> 01:01:37,060
Now I just advertise orthopedic socks.
1180
01:01:37,127 --> 01:01:40,096
And I don't even do that now,
'cause John Nettles got the gig!
1181
01:01:40,764 --> 01:01:43,200
I don't-- I don't understand.
1182
01:01:43,266 --> 01:01:45,702
You don't understand?
Let me clear things up.
1183
01:01:45,769 --> 01:01:48,772
Your parents carked it,
you lost your marbles,
1184
01:01:48,838 --> 01:01:51,975
you got fixated with me
in some weird, creepy way
1185
01:01:52,042 --> 01:01:54,978
which I don't wanna get into.
You think I'm here to rescue you.
1186
01:01:55,045 --> 01:01:57,814
That's not gonna happen.
I'm a self-obsessed arsehole.
1187
01:01:57,881 --> 01:01:59,082
Does that clear things up?
1188
01:01:59,449 --> 01:02:02,953
Paul Melly, wanted in connectionwith the murder of Katya Lipinskii,
1189
01:02:03,019 --> 01:02:04,387
is also presumed dead.
1190
01:02:04,454 --> 01:02:07,891
Melly, 32, is believedto have a mental age of nine.
1191
01:02:07,958 --> 01:02:10,427
-Who's gonna clear my name?
-Nobody.
1192
01:02:12,229 --> 01:02:13,230
There's no evidence.
1193
01:02:13,863 --> 01:02:16,233
We had a tape. The tape's gone. It's over.
1194
01:02:18,401 --> 01:02:19,803
Both of them?
1195
01:02:21,438 --> 01:02:24,007
Both of them?
What do you mean, "both of them"?
1196
01:02:24,074 --> 01:02:25,909
Yeah, I made a copy of the tape.
1197
01:02:26,443 --> 01:02:27,444
You taught me that.
1198
01:02:28,445 --> 01:02:29,512
Always make a copy.
1199
01:02:29,779 --> 01:02:31,381
Well, Mindhorn did.
1200
01:02:31,448 --> 01:02:33,516
Only you're not-- You're not Mindhorn.
1201
01:02:33,783 --> 01:02:34,784
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
1202
01:02:35,218 --> 01:02:36,453
I am Mindhorn.
1203
01:02:37,153 --> 01:02:40,023
-What? But you said--
-No, you passed the test.
1204
01:02:40,156 --> 01:02:41,791
Kestrel, well done.
1205
01:02:42,792 --> 01:02:44,761
-Did I?
-You made promotion, partner.
1206
01:02:44,828 --> 01:02:47,897
From now on,
you shall be known as the Falcon.
1207
01:02:48,331 --> 01:02:49,933
No, I prefer Kestrel.
1208
01:02:50,000 --> 01:02:51,835
Kestrel's fine, too. Where's the tape?
1209
01:02:51,901 --> 01:02:55,105
I made a copy of the tape and put it
in your car at Mindhorn Heights.
1210
01:02:55,772 --> 01:02:56,773
Yes.
1211
01:02:56,840 --> 01:02:59,943
Now I'm gonna pack the bag
for the finale when we kill the baddies.
1212
01:03:00,010 --> 01:03:01,544
Okay, sounds like a plan, partner.
1213
01:03:01,811 --> 01:03:02,512
I'm gonna head off.
1214
01:03:02,779 --> 01:03:05,115
-I'll give you a signal when I need you.
-What's the signal?
1215
01:03:05,181 --> 01:03:08,051
-Uh... You'll know when you hear it.
-I need to hear it now.
1216
01:03:09,052 --> 01:03:09,919
No.
1217
01:03:11,888 --> 01:03:12,989
-Better.
-Good. Okay.
1218
01:03:13,056 --> 01:03:14,491
Take this. Make sure you wear it.
1219
01:03:14,557 --> 01:03:16,393
-What is that?
-It's the recorder belt.
1220
01:03:16,459 --> 01:03:19,296
Recorder belt, okay.
Strapping that on now, Kestrel.
1221
01:03:19,362 --> 01:03:20,230
And this.
1222
01:03:20,297 --> 01:03:22,299
Roger that. Weird plastic radio. Got it.
1223
01:03:22,966 --> 01:03:24,501
-Uh... Does this work?
-No.
1224
01:03:25,335 --> 01:03:27,437
-It does work, actually, FYI.
-Oh, right.
1225
01:03:30,907 --> 01:03:31,875
Who are you calling?
1226
01:03:32,509 --> 01:03:34,444
The only person we can trust.
1227
01:03:44,954 --> 01:03:47,023
-Baines.
-Richard. Wow.
1228
01:03:47,090 --> 01:03:49,359
-Don't ask.
-Thank God you're alive. Where's Melly?
1229
01:03:49,426 --> 01:03:52,595
In a cave. He made a copy of the tape
and he's hidden it at Pat's.
1230
01:03:52,962 --> 01:03:53,997
Whereabouts at Pat's?
1231
01:03:54,064 --> 01:03:56,866
In the garage. In the glove compartment
of the Mindhorn car.
1232
01:03:57,267 --> 01:03:58,134
Mm-hm.
1233
01:03:58,368 --> 01:04:01,271
-What have you got the gun for?
-You know too much, Richard.
1234
01:04:02,472 --> 01:04:03,473
I don't know anything.
1235
01:04:04,274 --> 01:04:05,909
I'm actually quite confused.
1236
01:04:05,975 --> 01:04:07,911
You know that I killed Moncrief, right?
1237
01:04:08,578 --> 01:04:09,579
I did not know that.
1238
01:04:09,846 --> 01:04:10,513
Well, you do now.
1239
01:04:10,580 --> 01:04:12,615
Uh, not a problem. I can blank it out.
1240
01:04:12,882 --> 01:04:14,017
I have that capacity. I--
1241
01:04:14,084 --> 01:04:17,287
I've blanked out huge chapters of my life.
This is just one more thing.
1242
01:04:17,354 --> 01:04:19,956
Sorry, Richard. Final curtain.
1243
01:04:29,399 --> 01:04:30,433
Truth powder.
1244
01:04:33,370 --> 01:04:35,105
-Quick, the gun.
-What is that?
1245
01:04:35,171 --> 01:04:36,039
Come on.
1246
01:04:37,640 --> 01:04:39,409
- Jesus Christ!
- Bike!
1247
01:04:39,476 --> 01:04:41,077
She's left the keys in the bike.
1248
01:04:44,147 --> 01:04:45,648
-Yes!
-Why did you do that?
1249
01:04:46,182 --> 01:04:49,919
We could have used the bike
to get away, you stupid berk.
1250
01:04:59,896 --> 01:05:01,331
- Hello?
- Hi, Pat.
1251
01:05:01,431 --> 01:05:03,032
Yeah, it's DS Baines here.
1252
01:05:03,099 --> 01:05:06,903
I just thought I should tell you
that Richard is alive.
1253
01:05:07,337 --> 01:05:08,371
He's alive?
1254
01:05:08,438 --> 01:05:10,607
Alive, yeah, yeah. Great-- Great news.
1255
01:05:11,074 --> 01:05:11,941
Mixed bag, though.
1256
01:05:12,008 --> 01:05:13,977
He is delusional.
1257
01:05:14,043 --> 01:05:16,146
Oh, God, he's seriously ill, isn't he?
1258
01:05:16,212 --> 01:05:18,648
He is. He's on his way to you now.
1259
01:05:18,915 --> 01:05:21,418
He thinks he's in an old episodeof Mindhorn.
1260
01:05:21,484 --> 01:05:24,921
And I just need youto keep him there and I will--
1261
01:05:24,988 --> 01:05:26,256
I will come to you, okay?
1262
01:05:26,322 --> 01:05:27,290
So, just wait there.
1263
01:05:31,561 --> 01:05:32,429
Where's the car?
1264
01:05:34,397 --> 01:05:35,665
No! Where is it?
1265
01:05:36,599 --> 01:05:38,201
Where's the bloody car?!
1266
01:05:38,635 --> 01:05:40,270
It should be here!
1267
01:05:41,337 --> 01:05:42,572
It should be--!
1268
01:05:53,983 --> 01:05:54,651
Richard?
1269
01:05:56,719 --> 01:05:57,687
Are you okay?
1270
01:06:02,025 --> 01:06:04,427
No. I'm having a really bad day.
1271
01:06:05,361 --> 01:06:07,330
-Where's my car?
-Why don't you just--?
1272
01:06:07,397 --> 01:06:09,165
Just come-- Come and sit down.
1273
01:06:09,232 --> 01:06:10,733
Can't sit down. I'm glued in.
1274
01:06:11,000 --> 01:06:12,569
Just calm down and--
1275
01:06:12,635 --> 01:06:14,170
Baines is trying to kill me.
1276
01:06:14,404 --> 01:06:15,438
She's corrupt.
1277
01:06:15,505 --> 01:06:16,506
There's a bald man.
1278
01:06:17,440 --> 01:06:19,742
He's-- He's got cats on his shoes.
1279
01:06:20,009 --> 01:06:23,680
I've seen them. Not real cats. False cats.
Tiny false cats on his shoes.
1280
01:06:23,746 --> 01:06:25,982
Richard, none of this is real.
1281
01:06:26,049 --> 01:06:27,150
It's all real!
1282
01:06:27,650 --> 01:06:30,386
It's come real.
Where's my car? Where's it gone?
1283
01:06:30,453 --> 01:06:31,354
The car?
1284
01:06:31,421 --> 01:06:33,156
Uh, Clive is bringing the car.
1285
01:06:33,223 --> 01:06:35,525
He's bringing the car.
It'll be here in a few minutes.
1286
01:06:36,192 --> 01:06:38,761
Now, just calm down and talk to me.
1287
01:06:39,028 --> 01:06:40,530
They're coming. I can't wait here.
1288
01:06:40,597 --> 01:06:42,232
Let's talk about-- About us.
1289
01:06:42,298 --> 01:06:43,366
Us? There is no us.
1290
01:06:44,033 --> 01:06:47,670
I blew it. I walked out on the only thing
that ever meant anything to me. You.
1291
01:06:49,739 --> 01:06:53,276
Since I left you,
my life has been really quite bad.
1292
01:06:54,077 --> 01:06:57,247
Richard, it's all right. It's all right.
1293
01:06:57,514 --> 01:07:00,316
Leaving you was the biggest mistake
of my life.
1294
01:07:03,119 --> 01:07:03,786
What is that?
1295
01:07:05,255 --> 01:07:06,155
Kestrel.
1296
01:07:07,257 --> 01:07:08,124
Sorry.
1297
01:07:08,591 --> 01:07:09,459
I'm so sorry.
1298
01:07:11,160 --> 01:07:14,097
Yes.
1299
01:07:14,163 --> 01:07:15,498
So, he's not dead.
1300
01:07:15,565 --> 01:07:17,734
He just fell asleep on the sunbed.
1301
01:07:17,800 --> 01:07:19,669
Put down the gardening equipment, Clive.
1302
01:07:19,736 --> 01:07:25,174
Get out of my house before I strim
that stupid fucking wig off.
1303
01:07:25,241 --> 01:07:29,045
Where's my car?!
1304
01:07:29,112 --> 01:07:30,313
Don't tell him, Clive.
1305
01:07:31,648 --> 01:07:33,816
Pete took it for the parade.
1306
01:07:34,484 --> 01:07:35,385
What's going on?
1307
01:07:35,451 --> 01:07:37,754
Stay away from him, Jasmine.
His brain's come loose.
1308
01:07:37,820 --> 01:07:40,757
Whatever happens next,
I want you to remember two things.
1309
01:07:41,558 --> 01:07:43,293
One, I'm innocent.
1310
01:07:44,193 --> 01:07:47,463
And two, Daddy loves you.
1311
01:07:54,237 --> 01:07:57,373
Oh, shit. Oh, no. Dear.
These are nothing to do with me.
1312
01:07:57,440 --> 01:07:59,542
Oh, Richard. Dirty, dirty Richard.
1313
01:07:59,609 --> 01:08:00,743
You're pathetic.
1314
01:08:01,277 --> 01:08:02,278
These aren't mine.
1315
01:08:02,712 --> 01:08:03,746
What are all these?
1316
01:08:04,380 --> 01:08:07,317
They're from my, uh, pen pal
in, uh, France.
1317
01:08:11,354 --> 01:08:12,622
These are all from Richard.
1318
01:08:13,856 --> 01:08:15,458
I was trying to protect you, Pat.
1319
01:08:16,793 --> 01:08:17,827
The man is poison.
1320
01:08:20,463 --> 01:08:21,397
I'm going to work.
1321
01:08:27,470 --> 01:08:28,638
There she blows.
1322
01:08:28,705 --> 01:08:31,140
And a load of fake Mindhorns.
1323
01:08:36,312 --> 01:08:39,682
I really do think this could be
the best Manx Day we've ever had.
1324
01:08:40,350 --> 01:08:41,451
Sorry I'm late.
1325
01:08:41,517 --> 01:08:43,553
Better late than never, Pat.
1326
01:08:43,620 --> 01:08:44,554
Um...
1327
01:08:44,621 --> 01:08:48,391
I'll be making my speech
slightly later than scheduled.
1328
01:08:49,459 --> 01:08:51,861
I've provided copies for you all.
1329
01:08:52,128 --> 01:08:54,530
They're on the table in the entrance hall.
1330
01:08:55,164 --> 01:08:56,299
Thanks, everyone.
1331
01:08:56,766 --> 01:08:58,668
Go enjoy the madness.
1332
01:08:58,735 --> 01:09:00,203
All right?
1333
01:09:00,269 --> 01:09:01,270
Okay, thanks.
1334
01:09:04,907 --> 01:09:06,342
Pat, could I have a word?
1335
01:09:06,442 --> 01:09:08,845
- I'll see you back at the office.
- At the office. Yeah.
1336
01:09:08,911 --> 01:09:09,779
All right.
1337
01:09:11,180 --> 01:09:13,816
-Nice to meet you actually.
-Yeah. I must give you my card.
1338
01:09:19,922 --> 01:09:21,691
Pat, Pat, Pat.
1339
01:09:23,626 --> 01:09:24,827
You know, don't you?
1340
01:09:32,168 --> 01:09:33,836
I'm in a bit of a pickle, aren't I?
1341
01:09:34,470 --> 01:09:35,738
I mean, you're a journalist.
1342
01:09:35,805 --> 01:09:39,342
You're not gonna keep it to yourself,
are you? Something this big?
1343
01:09:40,610 --> 01:09:42,478
How can I let you leave this room?
1344
01:09:43,780 --> 01:09:47,950
I absolutely cannot have people
finding out that I'm bald.
1345
01:09:55,792 --> 01:09:57,694
I think bald men are sexy.
1346
01:10:00,730 --> 01:10:01,931
Yeah, I think you're right.
1347
01:10:02,198 --> 01:10:03,533
Oh.
1348
01:10:03,900 --> 01:10:05,201
I'll have to take this.
1349
01:10:06,669 --> 01:10:09,439
The tape's at the parade.I'm going after them.
1350
01:10:13,376 --> 01:10:14,243
She knows.
1351
01:10:21,384 --> 01:10:25,488
Welcome, one and all,
to the Manx Day parade.
1352
01:10:25,555 --> 01:10:27,957
We're gonna have some great fun.
1353
01:10:29,559 --> 01:10:30,426
Thank you.
1354
01:10:30,893 --> 01:10:34,931
I wonder who's gonna win
today's Float of the Year competition.
1355
01:10:34,997 --> 01:10:37,633
Could it be the really big spider?
1356
01:10:37,900 --> 01:10:40,937
Or the two massive papier-m�ch� heads?
1357
01:10:41,003 --> 01:10:44,574
Or perhaps the crazy caterpillar?
Runner-up last year.
1358
01:10:45,241 --> 01:10:47,877
Fingers crossed
for no more trapped ankles.
1359
01:10:47,944 --> 01:10:52,715
And there's Trevor
in his intergalactic mobility scooter.
1360
01:10:52,782 --> 01:10:54,684
The Windjammer float there.
1361
01:10:55,551 --> 01:10:56,886
Always good fun.
1362
01:10:57,253 --> 01:11:01,457
It's the most successful TV program
ever made on the Isle of Man.
1363
01:11:01,691 --> 01:11:04,327
Oh, and, look, it's the villain.
1364
01:11:04,761 --> 01:11:08,297
But Windjammer disarms him
and saves the day.
1365
01:11:08,698 --> 01:11:09,565
Super stuff.
1366
01:11:09,832 --> 01:11:13,536
-New this year, the Mindhorn contingent.
-Oh, look!
1367
01:11:13,603 --> 01:11:15,505
Remember Mindhorn, folks?
1368
01:11:15,905 --> 01:11:19,475
Mindhorn, of course,
originally played by, um...
1369
01:11:19,909 --> 01:11:21,878
Oh, and who's this?
1370
01:11:21,944 --> 01:11:25,882
Another Mindhorn and a crazy person.
1371
01:11:25,948 --> 01:11:27,283
A sort of chicken man.
1372
01:11:35,324 --> 01:11:38,861
I don't remember the episode
"Mindhorn and the Chicken Man."
1373
01:11:38,928 --> 01:11:41,364
But, uh, what's Mindhorn doing now?
1374
01:11:41,564 --> 01:11:46,769
No doubt finding some crucial piece
of evidence to uncover the truth.
1375
01:11:48,037 --> 01:11:50,773
And here comes the baddie.
1376
01:11:51,507 --> 01:11:52,375
Oh, no.
1377
01:11:54,644 --> 01:11:57,013
Oh-ho-ho. Wonderful look-a-like there.
1378
01:11:57,079 --> 01:12:01,851
Doesn't she look like Manx TV's
very own Pat Deville?
1379
01:12:04,654 --> 01:12:05,555
Go, go, go!
1380
01:12:05,621 --> 01:12:06,689
I can't make it go.
1381
01:12:06,756 --> 01:12:09,659
I knew you hadn't passed your test,
you naughty liar.
1382
01:12:10,326 --> 01:12:14,530
You can take my woman,
but you can't take my fucking car.
1383
01:12:14,964 --> 01:12:16,799
-Can't make it go!
-The handbrake's on.
1384
01:12:16,866 --> 01:12:18,067
Where's the handbrake?
1385
01:12:18,334 --> 01:12:20,636
-It's over there.
-You're like a Formula champion.
1386
01:12:21,404 --> 01:12:22,438
Oh, shit!
1387
01:12:24,974 --> 01:12:26,642
Fantastic!
1388
01:12:27,076 --> 01:12:28,778
Full marks to the stuntman.
1389
01:12:29,445 --> 01:12:30,112
I wasn't ready.
1390
01:12:30,379 --> 01:12:32,048
-I can't actually drive.
-Get out.
1391
01:12:32,114 --> 01:12:32,982
I never learnt.
1392
01:12:33,049 --> 01:12:34,817
- Oh, shut up!
- I never had to.
1393
01:12:35,451 --> 01:12:37,653
I was driven everywhere,
I didn't have to bother.
1394
01:12:38,020 --> 01:12:39,589
Hi. Yep, hello.
1395
01:12:41,891 --> 01:12:45,394
And here's the baddie retrieving her gun.
1396
01:12:45,461 --> 01:12:47,663
- Get in the car!
- What?
1397
01:12:47,730 --> 01:12:48,865
Oh!
1398
01:12:48,931 --> 01:12:49,866
Classic!
1399
01:12:52,068 --> 01:12:53,669
And now the nail-biting finale.
1400
01:12:58,374 --> 01:13:01,978
Oh, bad luck, baddie, and that's Mindhorn.
1401
01:13:02,044 --> 01:13:03,946
Winner of the day in my view.
1402
01:13:04,547 --> 01:13:05,414
Great stuff.
1403
01:13:11,420 --> 01:13:14,991
We're flying to the truth!
1404
01:13:31,908 --> 01:13:32,875
What are we doing?
1405
01:13:33,442 --> 01:13:34,443
It's a dead end.
1406
01:13:35,444 --> 01:13:36,112
Where are we?
1407
01:13:37,179 --> 01:13:38,915
This is your cove, Mindhorn.
1408
01:13:39,415 --> 01:13:40,850
-What?
-Where do we go from here?
1409
01:13:41,183 --> 01:13:42,518
Well, the tunnels.
1410
01:13:43,853 --> 01:13:45,488
-Melly.
-Melly, come on, come on.
1411
01:13:50,159 --> 01:13:51,527
What's wrong?
1412
01:13:53,162 --> 01:13:55,631
That was-- That was great, wasn't it?
1413
01:13:57,199 --> 01:13:58,434
You've been shot.
1414
01:13:59,201 --> 01:14:00,069
You're bleeding.
1415
01:14:00,136 --> 01:14:01,704
No, no, no, don't worry.
1416
01:14:01,771 --> 01:14:02,872
It's fake blood.
1417
01:14:04,473 --> 01:14:05,608
Oh, no, that's there.
1418
01:14:06,075 --> 01:14:07,610
We have to get you some help.
1419
01:14:08,110 --> 01:14:09,211
I'm dying, Mindhorn.
1420
01:14:09,478 --> 01:14:10,613
No. No, you're not.
1421
01:14:11,480 --> 01:14:12,214
This is the end.
1422
01:14:12,982 --> 01:14:14,750
-No.
-Go on without me. Leave me here.
1423
01:14:14,817 --> 01:14:15,751
I'm not leaving you.
1424
01:14:18,955 --> 01:14:20,456
Because I'm a good partner?
1425
01:14:20,990 --> 01:14:23,726
You're the best damn partner
a man could ask for, Kestrel.
1426
01:14:24,694 --> 01:14:26,195
Your parents would be proud of you.
1427
01:14:27,163 --> 01:14:28,030
I'm proud of you.
1428
01:14:30,199 --> 01:14:31,167
Thanks, Mindhorn.
1429
01:14:32,768 --> 01:14:35,037
It's been an honor to be your partner.
1430
01:14:36,973 --> 01:14:39,108
Well, it's the best 15 minutes of my life.
1431
01:14:41,844 --> 01:14:43,145
Here's the copy of the tape.
1432
01:14:43,813 --> 01:14:44,680
Now go.
1433
01:14:45,147 --> 01:14:48,985
Promise me...
you'll clear my name, Mindhorn.
1434
01:14:50,019 --> 01:14:50,886
I promise.
1435
01:14:50,953 --> 01:14:51,954
And promise me...
1436
01:14:52,955 --> 01:14:55,725
you two will finally get it together.
1437
01:14:56,225 --> 01:14:58,194
I'm sorry, I can't promise you that.
1438
01:14:59,195 --> 01:15:00,997
I mean... yes.
1439
01:15:02,164 --> 01:15:04,000
Give him a kiss, Angela.
1440
01:15:13,175 --> 01:15:15,911
One last thing, Mindhorn.
1441
01:15:16,545 --> 01:15:20,616
Tell me the truth
about Richard Thorncroft.
1442
01:15:21,917 --> 01:15:22,952
Who is he?
1443
01:15:26,155 --> 01:15:28,190
Let's just say
he's someone I used to know.
1444
01:15:29,125 --> 01:15:30,826
Right. That's...
1445
01:15:41,137 --> 01:15:42,772
You poor, deluded fool.
1446
01:15:44,840 --> 01:15:46,075
I am Richard Thorncroft.
1447
01:15:59,955 --> 01:16:01,157
At least he didn't die in vain.
1448
01:16:04,727 --> 01:16:06,095
What the hell is this?
1449
01:16:09,098 --> 01:16:11,233
Yep. It's Plasticine.
1450
01:16:12,601 --> 01:16:14,837
Yep. It's a Plasticine copy.
1451
01:16:16,906 --> 01:16:18,307
It's Plasticine.
1452
01:16:31,320 --> 01:16:32,321
Quick.
1453
01:16:55,811 --> 01:16:57,980
It's time for the Apocalypse of Justice.
1454
01:17:10,359 --> 01:17:11,393
Baines, don't shoot.
1455
01:17:13,662 --> 01:17:14,363
We've got the tape.
1456
01:17:15,231 --> 01:17:16,799
Richard has it. It's safe.
1457
01:17:16,866 --> 01:17:17,900
I'll take you to him.
1458
01:17:17,967 --> 01:17:19,869
Maybe we could strike a deal.
1459
01:17:19,935 --> 01:17:23,806
-I don't wanna see the mayor go down.
-Pat, is that the best you can do?
1460
01:17:24,773 --> 01:17:26,408
I thought you were a good actress.
1461
01:17:26,876 --> 01:17:28,010
She's good enough.
1462
01:17:28,711 --> 01:17:29,712
Lose the piece.
1463
01:17:33,849 --> 01:17:34,950
Turn around.
1464
01:17:35,017 --> 01:17:35,885
Slowly.
1465
01:17:36,919 --> 01:17:37,987
Hands in the air.
1466
01:17:40,289 --> 01:17:41,857
Now who's holding all the aces?
1467
01:17:43,259 --> 01:17:44,126
Me, I think.
1468
01:17:44,793 --> 01:17:47,129
-You idiot!
-I didn't know she was gonna do that.
1469
01:17:49,865 --> 01:17:50,933
No!
1470
01:17:51,100 --> 01:17:52,168
Patricia!
1471
01:17:53,669 --> 01:17:54,904
Patricia, Patricia.
1472
01:17:55,104 --> 01:17:55,971
Richard.
1473
01:17:56,839 --> 01:17:57,706
I'm so sorry.
1474
01:17:58,741 --> 01:17:59,742
No, I'm sorry.
1475
01:18:00,442 --> 01:18:02,444
I never knew
you wrote me all those letters.
1476
01:18:02,711 --> 01:18:04,046
Shh. That doesn't matter now.
1477
01:18:04,113 --> 01:18:05,714
Clive hid them from me.
1478
01:18:05,781 --> 01:18:06,448
What a wanker.
1479
01:18:08,117 --> 01:18:10,152
I'm sorry that I never believed you.
1480
01:18:10,686 --> 01:18:11,353
I'm sorry.
1481
01:18:13,756 --> 01:18:14,857
I love you, Richard.
1482
01:18:22,965 --> 01:18:23,866
Fucking hell.
1483
01:18:23,933 --> 01:18:25,201
Where's the tape, Richard?
1484
01:18:28,237 --> 01:18:29,305
There is no tape.
1485
01:18:30,439 --> 01:18:31,473
It's fake.
1486
01:18:32,174 --> 01:18:34,043
Like everything else in my life!
1487
01:18:35,077 --> 01:18:36,946
Without her, I may as well be dead.
1488
01:18:39,481 --> 01:18:40,783
Just a figure of speech.
1489
01:18:44,086 --> 01:18:44,954
Why?
1490
01:18:46,755 --> 01:18:47,756
Why?
1491
01:18:50,025 --> 01:18:53,462
The mayor's my uncle...
so I've gotta clean up his mess.
1492
01:18:54,496 --> 01:18:55,497
Family's family.
1493
01:18:57,399 --> 01:18:59,001
My family runs Man.
1494
01:18:59,068 --> 01:18:59,935
Call an ambulance.
1495
01:19:00,869 --> 01:19:01,737
It's not too late.
1496
01:19:02,271 --> 01:19:03,172
I can forget.
1497
01:19:03,839 --> 01:19:06,508
-What, that I killed Moncrief?
-Yeah, that.
1498
01:19:10,246 --> 01:19:12,481
I-- I can pretend I don't know that.
1499
01:19:13,148 --> 01:19:14,016
I can pretend.
1500
01:19:14,750 --> 01:19:17,086
You're not that good an actor.
1501
01:19:23,025 --> 01:19:23,926
Baines!
1502
01:19:24,893 --> 01:19:25,861
You all right?
1503
01:19:26,328 --> 01:19:27,396
He shot Pat!
1504
01:19:28,797 --> 01:19:31,066
He killed her
and then he tried to kill me and I, uh...
1505
01:19:32,901 --> 01:19:34,303
I had to take him down!
1506
01:19:34,370 --> 01:19:36,205
I had to take him down!
1507
01:19:40,376 --> 01:19:41,310
-Baines?
-Chief.
1508
01:19:42,044 --> 01:19:43,879
There was nothing I could do. It was--
1509
01:19:44,813 --> 01:19:46,081
There was nothing I could do.
1510
01:19:50,252 --> 01:19:51,520
Nice working with you again.
1511
01:19:52,421 --> 01:19:54,023
What's going on, Thorncroft?
1512
01:19:55,057 --> 01:19:56,825
The mayor's my uncle,
1513
01:19:56,892 --> 01:19:58,027
so I've gotta clean up his mess.
1514
01:19:58,093 --> 01:19:59,962
- I can forget.- That I killed Moncrief?
1515
01:20:00,029 --> 01:20:01,964
-Yeah.-You're not that good an actor.
1516
01:20:02,031 --> 01:20:02,898
Aren't I?
1517
01:20:03,232 --> 01:20:04,099
Heh.
1518
01:20:06,135 --> 01:20:07,303
- Oh, hey, now.
- Mom.
1519
01:20:07,369 --> 01:20:09,138
- Hey, hey. Not cool.
- Jasmine.
1520
01:20:09,238 --> 01:20:12,474
-Both sets of keys, give them to me.
-Think about what you're doing.
1521
01:20:12,541 --> 01:20:14,476
Keys now. Do it or I'll blow her away.
1522
01:20:14,543 --> 01:20:17,246
Get your filthy hands off my daughter.
1523
01:20:18,047 --> 01:20:20,215
She's not your daughter.
1524
01:20:20,883 --> 01:20:22,384
She's Windjammer's daughter.
1525
01:20:23,886 --> 01:20:24,953
Clive, do something.
1526
01:20:25,821 --> 01:20:28,524
-I'm not wearing the appropriate footwear.
-Stand down, Clive.
1527
01:20:29,091 --> 01:20:30,459
It's time I did my own stunts.
1528
01:20:38,334 --> 01:20:39,401
It's Ginga time.
1529
01:20:55,417 --> 01:20:56,585
This...
1530
01:20:57,519 --> 01:21:00,322
is the Ginga.
1531
01:21:11,166 --> 01:21:15,137
I'm moving between the air.
1532
01:21:22,277 --> 01:21:24,079
I'm here.
1533
01:21:26,448 --> 01:21:30,386
I'm the bringer of the Ginga!
1534
01:21:32,988 --> 01:21:34,456
And that's capoeira.
1535
01:21:38,927 --> 01:21:39,595
Jas.
1536
01:21:42,631 --> 01:21:43,932
The mayor was her uncle.
1537
01:21:44,066 --> 01:21:46,201
Seems I was right
about the limited gene pool.
1538
01:21:47,669 --> 01:21:50,205
I am sorry
that I rode you so hard back then.
1539
01:21:50,272 --> 01:21:52,908
I hope we can put our differences
behind us.
1540
01:21:52,975 --> 01:21:53,675
I will if you will.
1541
01:21:53,942 --> 01:21:57,446
And, if it helps at all,
I was pretty wasted all those years ago.
1542
01:21:57,613 --> 01:21:59,982
I don't even remember
that night with your wife.
1543
01:22:00,048 --> 01:22:02,017
-What night with my wife?
-That's the spirit.
1544
01:22:03,419 --> 01:22:07,055
Oh, my God, Richard, that was so brave.
It's a miracle that you weren't shot.
1545
01:22:07,489 --> 01:22:09,925
Ah, no more lies. I have to be honest.
1546
01:22:09,992 --> 01:22:11,560
I knew there were blanks in that gun.
1547
01:22:12,494 --> 01:22:14,430
Um... No, no, this is Baines' gun.
1548
01:22:14,496 --> 01:22:15,998
That was live ammunition.
1549
01:22:19,468 --> 01:22:20,402
Richard.
1550
01:22:22,571 --> 01:22:23,572
I've got you.
1551
01:22:24,406 --> 01:22:25,541
You've got me, all right.
1552
01:22:27,176 --> 01:22:28,277
And that is the truth.
1553
01:24:54,222 --> 01:24:56,491
d We had some fun together d
1554
01:24:56,558 --> 01:25:01,129
d But I neverI never promised you forever d
1555
01:25:02,197 --> 01:25:03,432
d No, no, no d
1556
01:25:04,333 --> 01:25:07,569
d You can't handcuff the wind d
1557
01:25:08,370 --> 01:25:11,273
d But if you try, you're gonna fail d
1558
01:25:12,841 --> 01:25:16,178
d It's like tryingTo put thunder in jail d
1559
01:25:16,244 --> 01:25:19,448
d You can't handcuff the wind d
1560
01:25:20,582 --> 01:25:23,385
d But if you try, you're gonna fail d
1561
01:25:25,153 --> 01:25:27,856
d It's like tryingTo put thunder in jail d
1562
01:25:28,357 --> 01:25:30,225
d You can't handcuff the wind d
1563
01:25:30,292 --> 01:25:32,794
d I feel the pull of the open road d
1564
01:25:32,861 --> 01:25:34,863
d I'm headin' out into the night d
1565
01:25:36,164 --> 01:25:38,367
d Gotta loosen up your grip, girl d
1566
01:25:38,767 --> 01:25:41,136
d You're holding on a little too tight d
1567
01:25:42,237 --> 01:25:44,740
d We roll the diceWe played the game d
1568
01:25:44,806 --> 01:25:47,175
d Now every card's been turned d
1569
01:25:48,143 --> 01:25:53,515
d Girl, if you're trying to hold onto fireYou're gonna get burned d
1570
01:25:53,582 --> 01:25:55,751
d You can't handcuff the wind d
1571
01:25:56,418 --> 01:25:58,920
d And if you try, you're gonna fail d
1572
01:26:00,922 --> 01:26:03,792
d It's like tryin'To put thunder in jail d
1573
01:26:04,526 --> 01:26:06,328
d You can't handcuff the wind d
1574
01:26:06,395 --> 01:26:08,463
d And if you're trying to fence me in d
1575
01:26:08,530 --> 01:26:12,734
d I'll break down those fencesAnd run like a stallion in the night d
1576
01:26:12,801 --> 01:26:16,338
d I'm gonna burn so brightLike a white hot flame d
1577
01:26:16,405 --> 01:26:19,207
d Till everybody knows my name d
1578
01:26:29,818 --> 01:26:32,587
d The open road, she calls my name d
1579
01:26:32,654 --> 01:26:34,890
d There's itching in my feet d
1580
01:26:36,224 --> 01:26:38,660
d I got an engine that you can't tame d
1581
01:26:38,727 --> 01:26:40,796
d Even with your mouth so sweet d
1582
01:26:42,297 --> 01:26:44,466
d A thousand kisses and sad goodbyes d
1583
01:26:44,533 --> 01:26:46,768
d But it's too late for any more d
1584
01:26:47,836 --> 01:26:50,472
d The ferry to the mainlandLeaves at six d
1585
01:26:50,539 --> 01:26:52,874
d I gotta be there 20 minutes before d
1586
01:26:52,941 --> 01:26:55,777
d You can't handcuff the wind d
1587
01:26:56,578 --> 01:26:59,381
d And if you try, you're gonna fail d
1588
01:27:00,982 --> 01:27:04,519
d It's like tryingTo put thunder in jail d
1589
01:27:04,586 --> 01:27:07,389
d You can't handcuff the wind d
1590
01:27:10,389 --> 01:27:14,389
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