Original subtitles

my life

My mother always dreamed of visiting Paris.

Maybe that's why, when I was in her womb, I imagined what I'd find outside.

I'd live in France, in the Age of Enlightenment.

Good morning!

My mother would be the happiest woman on Earth, in the Paris of her dreams.

My father would be Voltaire.

We would talk about interesting stuff, instead of watching TV shows.

He'd always give me good advice.

...and the ball goes to Alfredo,

- it's a goal for the Madrid Athletic Club! - Go, go, go!

- ... the play by Alfredo... - Take that! Don't fuck it up now!

I guess I was 200 years late,

or that someone in France took my spot, damn it.

- ... the players were ready. - Watch that water!

As I was getting ready to come out,

my mother would always listen to the same French song.

She almost went to Paris on her honeymoon, but the trip was cancelled.

I knew that song by heart, long before I was born.

MOLIERE LEARNING CENTER

My mother insisted on sending me to a French school.

I guess she thought that, surrounded by French teachers,

I would become the son she'd always dreamed of.

Hi.

THE GOOD LIFE

Hi.

Hi.

When I ask for an essay, I don't want to get some fantastic story

that shows you've got great imagination.

Good literature is born out of our own experience.

You don't search for originality, it is within us.

When you tell your story candidly, that's already original.

Nobody else can tell it in the same way.

- When is it due? - Tomorrow.

And I hope it's not shit, and that it doesn't make me feel like I teach a band of dimwits.

You're growing out of childhood

and you've only got two options:

You can be smart adults, or you can be stupid adults.

...all day at that typewriter that's older than my father.

- How am I going to get it through to him? - I was conceived one night in 1975.

If I could, I would have liked to avoid it.

It is with deepest sorrow that I hereby make the following announcement:

On November 20th, 1975,

his Excellency, the Commander in Chief,

- passed away due to heart failure... - Free, free! We're free!

- If the police come we'll be screwed. - Fuck them. We're free.

- This country... - This country.

You could worry less about this country and more about me.

I love you, Dolores. We'll leave for Madrid tomorrow.

We'll start a new life.

- ...there's terrible sorrow in Spain. - We're free, free.

- He fully devoted himself to our Spain. - Dad!

Dad, please, don't do it! You're drunk now, but you'll regret it later.

I've the right to make love to your mother, we're married.

You always tell Mom, "We're not ready to have a child yet."

Your mother and I will decide that.

At least wear a condom.

Don't worry, son.

You'll live in a wonderful world.

You'll go to the moon if you want to.

Instead, your father and I will be a poor unlucky pair.

My mother was very excited about having a child.

So I couldn't help but be born.

When I first saw my father I thought, "Shit."

- "This guy screwed us." - It's OK, it's OK.

My father had a materialistic view of the world

and believed children brought good fortune.

Don't cry, no, no. Don't cry, baby.

None of my father's businesses ever worked.

My mother wanted another child

- but he'd always say: - Another mouth to feed?

As if it wasn't tight already.

But another mouth did show up.

My grandfather moved in with us when Grandma died.

His bronchi are damaged, and he uses my swimming trophy as a spit bucket.

He has never taken a shower. He washes by wetting a finger, like cats do.

I wish he'd tell me stories or talk about the war,

but he fought on Franco's side, with the bad guys.

On the third day on the front, he accidentally shot his hand.

So he spent the whole war in a hospital.

What are you looking at? All you can see on this channel is fish.

He loves walking but he hates going out,

so he does three miles of laps around the family room a day.

Grandpa, stop, for God's sake. You make me nervous.

- Back and forth all day. -27 more laps and I'm done.

The only moments of happiness in our home are when my father's sales are up.

Good news. All of you, come here.

I've placed three or four machines with VGA color screens in a sales office,

which translates into a total of 196,573 pesetas.

At times like this,

we'd say we are a happy family.

I'm sick and tired of balls and pain-in-the-neck children!

Next time I'll puncture the ball!

- I can't learn stuff by heart. - I know the whole play, your part too.

That's how big actors in classic theater do it.

WE WA... WOMEN

By the way, you're doing this as punishment.

- It isn't an excuse for a coffee break. - This is unfair.

This way, you'll learn not to paint obscenities.

- This wasn't an obscenity. - Oh, no?

And how would you define writing "We want women" on the wall?

- We want to relate to women. - Right.

Coed instruction lowers academic performance.

Same with life.

When a human being gets involved with another, it's over.

- You've never been with any women? - Let me clarify.

Sex is wonderful.

I am talking about love.

Since you still have time, avoid it.

No, no. It is love that avoids us.

Hello.

- Are you done painting? - Dumbface forgave us.

Don't say that in front of me.

So what's my nickname, "Limpy"?

Did you read my paper? It's the first chapter.

I'm going to write about my life.

Fantastic. Although normally, you live it first, then you write about it.

I've already finished reading them.

Whenever you want more, you can come by my house and get them.

I brought you a list, in case you have them.

Great taste, yes, sir.

I'll bring all of them tomorrow.

- Except for Lolita; you're too young. - Too young?

You need more experience to understand some things.

If you're speaking of my virginity, it'll be solved soon.

I am glad to hear it.

That way, besides criticizing your parents, you'll also speak of love in your bio.

What does love have to do with it?

I'm talking about sex.

- What do you mean? - It's embarrassing to be a virgin at my age.

At your age? As if you were 50 years old.

I'll do it with a whore. I need it for my writing.

You said it in class: All good writers learnt in brothels.

- Those were different times. - That's why we don't have good writers now.

You and I will have to talk about this.

Grandfather.

It is time you got home.

I closed the sale of the printers.

OK, but don't start dropping money around right now.

Dinner will get cold.

Can't you hear the music?

May I have this dance?

Stop that, damn it!

Or will you make me another grandson right on the table?

When were you last kissed like this?

Well, you should know.

We'll go on our honeymoon. I owe it to you.

- Now? We've been married for 20 years. - So?

I've already made hotel reservations...

...in Paris.

- Paris? - We're leaving tomorrow.

Didn't you always dream of it?

This time, we won't put it off, even if the world comes to an end.

Tristán, don't you have a rehearsal?

- You'll be late. - I'm brushing my teeth.

I want to hug a naked woman and make love to her.

My sexual life has been a joke so far.

my sexual life

It was last summer that I decided to lose my virginity.

My parents sent me on an exchange summer camp, with a school of blind kids.

I met Jorge there.

He was blind, but he knew everything about girls.

He told me that the most important thing is smell. Every girl smells different.

And better yet, he hooked up with a blind girl in the camp and let me watch.

- He told me: - So you can tell me later.

Oh, nature.

Do you think that, say, mosquitoes are useless?

No. There is nothing useless in creation.

That's true, but... But...

- If something exists, it's because it should. - Oh, yes.

If something exists, it's because it should!

Antón, can you speak and breathe, as well?

It seems you're dying when you speak.

Tristán, you should know the script by now.

I need the character's background story to get under his skin.

Cut it out.

- You can't be a method actor at 14. - Oh, I can't?

Do you know how old Orson Welles was when he did Julius Caesar? 12.

- It took twice as long today. - You lack rhythm, you old bags.

Look, Mom. It's real easy.

You press here and it records. Let's see. Say something.

Son, take good care of yourself. It'll only be a week...

Show your father, or we'll get there and he won't know what to do.

Like for your last party; we could only see the feet.

Paris awaits us. Now you're the head of the family,

don't let us down. Take care of your grandfather.

He doesn't need to take care of me. I'm not a baby.

- He has to take care of himself. - Tristán.

Come, I need to speak to you.

The exchange's outrageous. Why does one franc cost twenty pesetas?

That's to cheat us. Paris doesn't exist.

The French made it up so tourists would visit.

I left you food for the whole week in storage containers.

I made your grandfather's favorite lentils. Just heat them up.

Make sure Grandpa's tank doesn't run out of oxygen.

The hospital's number is in his room.

And the most important thing: the monitor, to hear Grandpa at night.

- Look at the map. - Oh, the map, the map!

I can make up a map too, and say that the Nile runs through Spain.

We'll put it here. If your grandpa falls, you'll hear him.

- Yeah. What could happen in a week? - A thousand things.

Son, can you take care of this place? You're not a child.

- Now give me what your father gave you. - It was just money.

And a piece of paper. Give it to me.

What I thought: your aunt Carmen's number.

He's so stubborn. As long as I'm alive, my sister won't come into my house.

Why don't you ever call her? She's your sister.

I wish she wasn't.

I think her daughter's worse.

- Your cousin Lucía. Remember her? - How could I forget her?

Years ago, my father secretly took me to her first communion.

He told my mother we were going to a game. But he said to me:

Even if your mother and your aunt don't talk, it's your family.

And your family is the most important thing in life.

Let's go.

The show starts now.

Now you can come in one by one.

All but my cousin Tristán.

I've never seen my cousin Lucía again, but I've hated her all these years.

Let's go, let's go.

The hotel is in the outskirts, but it's a great area.

- Can't we go to a well-known one? - Hemingway would stay at the Ritz.

Woman, you don't need to sleep on the Champs-Elysées. We've got the car.

You'd pitch a tent under the Eiffel Tower to save money.

- Take good care. - Let's go, go.

Tell Grandpa not to drink.

You both take care. And you, write! Write beautiful things!

How will you do it? Isn't your grandpa home?

Yeah, no big deal.

At night he hooks up the oxygen. An earthquake wouldn't wake him.

- Hopefully she won't be loud. - I've figured it out.

I've called most of the ads. I listened to the voice and hung up.

- This one's mine, Marilyn. - Don't get excited. The names are fake.

Passionate. At home or hotel. 20,000.

- You have to add the taxi ride. - Her voice is beautiful.

She must be gorgeous.

Listen, we rent some porn and you jerk off before she arrives.

If not, you'll come as soon as she shows up. It's a waste.

Honestly, I'm a bit scared. But I've got to do it.

Hello. Is this Marilyn?

Yes... Yes, yes. I'm calling about the ad.

Yes, yes, sure. Full service.

Yes, yes, yes. Yes.

Good, good. Well, yes. Whatever you want.

Marilyn.

Marilyn?

Marilyn.

Marilyn, Marilyn.

Hi, Marilyn. How are you?

Come in, Marilyn. Yes, yes.

Marilyn.

Marilyn.

Marilyn...

Anal Sex Lessons at Home

Hi, soldier. Make yourself at home.

- You've got too many clothes. - Whatever you say.

Do you like my body?

Hello?

Yes, this is their home. But they're not here now.

Traveling.

Yes, I'm their son.

Yes, yes. I'm their only son.

What?

I'm Marilyn.

Was it you who called?

You're alone, right? Making crank calls?

Very good then.

Pay me, or I'll wake the neighbors up.

Come on.

Are your parents home?

It's...

My parents have died.

You think I can waste my time?

My time is worth money, asshole.

Your parents should slap you more!

Motherfucker!

You have to be strong. Don't be afraid.

I can't go back home.

Now you'll really have to be a grown-up.

I...

...need my parents.

No matter how long you cry, nobody will bring them back.

I always remember my mother, the day before she died.

She didn't want me to cry at her funeral.

She told me she wasn't leaving...

...that she'd be in every gust of wind...

...caressing me, taking care of me.

But...

...my mother didn't tell me anything.

Lucía, come here!

So you made it.

Have you greeted your cousin?

Hello.

- Do you remember your cousin Lucía? - Hello.

I'll speak to you later.

- You'll be a son to me. - I'm not your son.

I know that, but I'm your only family now. When you come home...

I'm not planning to move. I'll stay with Grandpa.

But you can't look after him by yourself.

Son, tell that lady to go home and pester somebody else.

I continue being the villain.

My sister never forgave me. She was so proud.

Ma'am, we're not on speaking terms.

Whatever. But I won't just sit and watch a suffering child, who's my own blood.

- Thank you, Aunt. But we don't need help. - You don't?

Let's see. Have you eaten yet?

Allow me to fix a pie or something for you.

Tomorrow I will attend a family council meeting.

- Your aunt Carmen called me this morning. - My parents didn't even talk to her.

- Understand, she's your closest family... - There's my grandfather.

She'd be your guardian, until you can take care of yourself.

I'm not that young.

OK, we'll see. We'll speak to your grandfather about it.

You don't worry about a thing. This school is also your home.

Thank you.

You'll get over it.

The things that happen to us in childhood get imprinted in our lives.

When you grow up, you become like a stone.

Things just bounce off.

Instead, as a child, one is made of clay.

Each blow leaves a mark.

- So, what's this thing called? - Pizza.

Is that what dog food is called now?

Where are the lentils?

Your grandmother prepared them wonderfully... with egg, garlic, sausage.

Flora, of the grocery store, says she'll find a girl to come cook for us.

What I'll do is go back to my town.

What about me? And school?

Green barley in the fields,

and when the sun comes down, the game at the rec center.

Grandfather, we'll need money now.

Enough about money, shit!

Like your father, always talking about money.

- My parents didn't let you drink. - Bah, you've buried your parents.

It's logical, normal, the law of life.

But I...

...what am I doing here?

Look at her. She's the best.

- So, how did it go with the whore? - Good, I lasted a long time.

Was she hot?

- She had these beautiful, big eyes. - Who cares about her eyes.

- Did she put a condom on you? - Of course.

My brother was with one that was so scared of AIDS,

she made him wear three condoms. He didn't feel a thing.

I'd rather wait, because once I do it, I'll know what I'm missing every night.

I guess it was written somewhere that my parents would never get to see Paris.

Or maybe my grandfather was right. Paris simply didn't exist.

bad life

Buenaventura Romeo. This is your grandfather, right?

I transferred your parents' money to his account, so it isn't blocked.

That's the first thing those assholes at the Revenue Service do.

- Thank you. - As I can see here,

your grandfather has savings and a nice retirement.

- I'd allow house payments out of this. - Yes, but,

the ideal thing would be for me to share the account with him.

- He never leaves the house and I need... - Yes, but only he can authorize it.

The easiest thing would be to get an ATM card for you.

You take this form, he fills it out.

You bring it to us with a life certificate which shows he's not dead.

Red tape, bureaucracy. You see, the country needs to make money.

I hope I'll convince him. He...

You've lost weight.

We've got enough trouble already. I hope you won't get sick.

They're finding a lady to come and cook for us.

You should eat at home when you get off school.

But dealing with your grandpa is like talking to a post.

I only let that witch in because I have manners.

- Next time, I'll slam the door in her face. - Don't ruin the kid.

Unlike some, he has a whole life ahead of him.

Considering what I have to look forward to in this nunnery... Fuck it.

- He wants to return to his town. - He's just being a nuisance.

You know he moved here as soon as his wife died.

He should be in an old folks' home.

Lucía?

- Hello. - Hello.

The old bag is up there, right?

She wanted me to help her clean.

- Are you off to school? - Yes, but I'm running late. It's right there.

- What class do you have now? - I don't know.

- And you? Are you going to school? - No way.

They suspended me for two weeks.

What did you do?

My mother... She's got that religious side, so she sent me to the nuns.

I burnt their sacristy.

I'm a bit of a pyromaniac. Don't you love fire?

- You go to a school for smart kids, right? - Nonsense. It's just French.

They told me you're bright, that you won a short story contest.

No, no. I came in second.

What was it? Some writing about flowers in spring?

Just kidding.

OK, I'd better go up.

Did you get mad? Come kiss me, cousin.

It was about a girl who got pregnant and hid it from her parents.

Then she sold the baby to a neighbor.

Shit, that's a bit ghastly.

- I got the story from the paper. - Will you let me read it?

No.

I know where the story's going. You'll fall in love with her.

Are we free to fall in love, or not to?

So you think love has also been written?

Even so, you sleep with women you don't love every day,

but you don't with those you do love.

Who writes and decides that in Heaven?

Why would you want to know?

If you knew, do you think you'd avoid meeting a woman? Love?

Here, my master and I got into a endless argument about women.

One says they're good, the other, bad.

One says smart, the other, dumb.

One says beautiful, the other, ugly.

- That's not in the script. - We could go on arguing

as we go around the world a hundred times.

Lolita.

- I finally found it. - You and I had an agreement.

- A book can't hurt anyone. - I wouldn't be so sure.

Look at me. My father would say, "When a girl reads so much, something's wrong."

The worst thing was that he was right.

- So what was wrong with you? - Come on, tell me about your cousin.

She's been kicked out of all the schools she attended.

She's a pyromaniac.

Right, so you don't mind getting burnt.

She's smells great.

I like the smell of blondes better than brunettes.

So our Lolita is blonde.

It is funny, isn't it? You can be in a terrible spot, having the worst time,

suddenly someone shows up and you fall in love.

The thing with love is it's always bad timing.

When will you see her again?

As soon as possible.

Lentils. Disgusting shit.

- What else is there? - Please, Lucía. We have guests.

I'm not a guest.

Tell this lady I was forced to come here because you're starving me.

Tristán told me you love lentils.

As with everything, it depends on who makes them.

- I'll go get the lamb. - Lamb? Mom, you're a vegetarian.

Please, Lucía, stop it. All of you will drive me insane.

Tristán, ask that lady if I can have seconds.

Well, of course.

Here, Grandpa.

Emergency service from National Spanish Radio.

Lucía Suárez Martín was reported missing from home.

If you have any information regarding her whereabouts, please...

My mother placed this ad when I left home.

Where is Lucía?

Lucía, where are you?

- Where is Lucía? - A friend wrote it for me.

It wasn't great, but you don't often get your own song.

My mother is like that. She still thinks I'm 10 years old.

I've got fucking gray hair already.

Of course, I seldom stay here.

Where did you go?

All over... Barcelona, Bilbao, Paris.

You've been to Paris? What's it like?

It rains all the time. That's why the French are so mean.

Light one for me.

You have a fucking great deal.

Alone in that house with that pervert of a grandpa.

I have no complaints.

My mother wanted you to move here.

- Guardianship is a mess. - Yeah.

You're lucky to have Grandpa, but she'll bring you here when he kicks the bucket.

- We'll be like siblings. - I hope not.

Grandfather, you can come with me now.

- How come you're not at school? - I had to take Grandpa to the hospital.

Oh, that man. You can't look after him by yourself.

He drove your own mother nuts.

- And he drinks? - No, it's for guests.

I've placed an ad.

But I haven't found anyone to help you yet.

- SALE! - Morning.

- Hi, honey. There's my girl. - I'll get her in a few hours.

She can stay until you take her to her parents'.

- Thanks. She ate all the chips. - Sweetie.

- Oh, well. - Her mother would be furious.

Ouch!

Son, your stuff is ready.

- Good. - Want more?

- I'll pay you later. - Sure, handsome.

This poor kid, he's got no one now. He breaks my heart.

- Poor thing. - Who is he?

I only went with you to that witch's house

because you promised we'd go to my town.

Grandpa, I've got school.

- Can't do it. - On a goddamned weekend!

Won't you ever do anything for me?

My teeth are no good for this meat, damn it.

Will you get the door, or do I also have to go there?

- Hello. - I'm glad I finally found you.

- No, I don't... - I came to apologize. Flora told me.

- What? - About your parents.

When I heard, I even started crying.

- I'm very sensitive, you know. - Yes, sure.

- Who is it? Come in. - It's nobody, Grandfather.

- So, well, then... - What do you mean, "nobody"?

- It's got to be someone. Who are you? - No, no. She was just leaving.

I'm Arena, nice to meet you.

I heard of your loss and I wanted to offer my condolences.

You are too beautiful to come here to remember sad things.

The other thing is that Mrs. Flora said you needed someone to cook and clean.

We could really use that.

So you are still more virginal than Baby Jesus.

If the whore's also your servant, you'll solve it.

She's not a servant. She'll come some days a week to clean...

Keep messing it up so she comes more often.

And when she makes your bed, bam!

You take her from behind.

- Very casually. - I don't know. It's different.

- She doesn't look like a whore now. - You don't need to, as long as you charge.

- You're having dinner already? - Potato pie.

- Delicious. - Did you make it?

It's the only thing I can cook.

- Who's that girl? Your girlfriend? - No.

You need to enjoy yourself at your age.

I'll tell you a secret.

I only learnt you could fuck from behind the other day, on TV.

If your grandma and I...

I've already asked for a refill.

- I'm a nuisance to you, son. - Nonsense.

Grandfather, you... are the only thing I have.

This watch...

...belonged to my father

and before him, to my grandfather.

It's been with me all my life.

Tick-tock.

Tick-tock.

Time...

You son of a bitch!

I'm sorry I showed up all of a sudden.

I had a problem, you know.

Then I thought, "My cousin's got a fucking great house."

- "One more person would be OK." - Sure.

- We have lots of room. - You really don't mind?

It'll just be a few days.

- And your mother? - Tonight I'll go back as if nothing happened.

- You're going back home? - Yes, I will, yes.

It's for Claudio. He's visiting and doesn't have a place to stay.

- Who's Claudio? - Shit, I thought you'd seen him. Come.

He's a friend. You'll see, he's great.

He's pooped. He hasn't slept in three days.

- He hitchhiked from Prague. - Oh, right.

I can't thank you enough, cousin.

Lift that backdrop so I can see it.

Here, more flowers.

That gal is really bold. She doesn't even know you.

- Be careful. - I don't care. She owes me now.

Right. So you just tell her, "Hey, cousin. That favor you owed me, let's fuck."

Fuck, no. But she's closer to me.

- Let's see, quick. - The one having an affair is Isabel.

I called her yesterday, and a guy picked up.

- I always thought she liked girls. - You are a moron.

Nobody can touch her, eh? Since you're her pet.

I heard she suddenly quit school last year because of depression.

It's common with teachers.

That's no surprise, dealing with guys like us.

- And that limp? - A suicide attempt.

- She jumped off a window, barely made it. - You made that up.

- What do you know? - She's weird, no doubt.

- Hello, Lucía. - Hello.

Hello. You're Tristán. I'm Claudio.

I'm sorry I showed up like that. It was Lucía's idea.

I already know your grandfather. Grandpa!

They say that when death approaches, you start to believe in God.

I'm experiencing the exact opposite.

With every day, I get more evidence that God doesn't exist.

What does exist is religion,

and the worst atrocities in the world are carried out in its name.

Well, I'm going to bed now.

And I won't pray tonight.

Fuck God.

Is he always like that?

Tristán, there's food in the kitchen for dinner.

Tristán, would you let me have your cousin for dinner?

Now I'll show you how John Wayne treated women.

But Claudio...

Claudio, let go, silly...

I don't want to abuse your hospitality, but could I have your room for a bit?

Hey, hey!

- What happened? Are you going to school? - No.

Well, get up. I need to clean this room. Who's that on the couch?

- Listen, Marilyn. - My name's Arena.

That's true.

- Marilyn is just your whore name. - Watch your mouth.

- I won't take rudeness from you or anybody. - Wait.

Come.

- Remember the night I called you? - Uh-huh.

I had called before. I chose you for your voice.

Are you courting me like your grandpa now?

No. It's not that. I still have that money.

- I thought you... - You have an interesting way of waking up.

- What do you care? - I did it to pay some guy for my papers.

He told me he was on Spanish TV, he would get me a job...

Turns out he was a cab driver, a pimp.

I was forced to pay him back, but that's over.

- This one time. - You can't do it just like that.

- I know you. - Pretend you don't know me.

Watch your hands.

Now I only do it if I want to, and I don't want to with you. It'd be a crime.

- Please, I need it. - That's so sad.

At your age it's beautiful to discover love, meet a girl.

It's good to have that here, but not over here.

I wish I'd love you less Seeking to forget

And instead of loving you less I love you so much more

You're the sleeping beauty.

- You sing very well. - Six years in the revolutionary choir.

- Is that right? My name is Claudio. - I'm Arena.

"Arena," like the sand? Interesting name.

- My mother was so romantic. - Romantic, eh?

She called me that because she said I was conceived on the sand, on a beach.

- Oh. Was it true? - Don't know. The father never confirmed it.

I liked Marilyn better.

The ninth question:

Minerals of the Asturian basin.

And the tenth:

Describe the "mesa".

Silence! Silence! Hey!

You have 50 minutes.

I added it all up,

and figured I've spent over 15,000 hours in class.

For what?

I've learned how to read,

to add up,

to subtract,

thousands of proper nouns,

who won the wars...

Useless things.

Why don't they teach me about what you need to survive?

Nothing?

Time is up.

The last student of each row collects the papers.

Existentialist poet at 14?

Lucía told me you are a writer.

Are you not talkative in general, or is it with me in particular?

I don't have anything to say.

- What's the test on? - Science.

I can't help you.

The only things I care for can't be explained by science.

They happen, and that's it.

- Does your grandfather never stop? - He likes walking.

Come with me.

I want to speak with you.

Your little cousin is crazy for you. Just see how he looks at you.

- That's bullshit, he's just a child. - And you're a child, too.

I feel like a giant in a dolls' house. I'm out of here. I'll leave Barcelona.

Did he say anything to you? He said it was OK.

You didn't show up for today's exam.

You turned in a blank page in math.

It's the end of the year. I understand you.

But I owe it to your parents, and I won't let you waste what they wanted for you.

- But the play... I want to do it. - Extracurricular activities are prizes

for good students.

- No. You won't be in the play. Period. - I promise that...

I'm very sorry to be the mean guy, but that's my job.

I asked Mr. Ricardo, the school therapist,

to go and talk with your grandfather. He'll see if your environment is appropriate.

All we want is to help you.

That motherfucker has totally screwed us.

He can't cancel the play. What will I do?

He's sending me to the therapist, to do some test.

- Draw a tree, a house... - They're worried. They're trying to help.

I don't need their help.

What I need is my parents.

Excuse me.

- And now he calls me cousin. - Didn't you dream of sleeping with her?

Half of your dream came true. You already got her in your bed.

- Now you have to replace that other guy. - Very funny.

You don't have these problems.

You smell horse shit, and start searching for a unicorn.

You are a romantic.

I don't think it's wrong...

...but you tell yourself love stories.

Life isn't romantic, but sordid, rather.

I thought that if I let him stay at home...

Someone has to pay so someone else can have a good time.

Put yourself in her shoes.

I'd rather put myself in that other guy's shoes.

Don't complain.

I was also a girl covered in zits and with a complex.

And in my case it was worse.

It wasn't my cousin. It was my brother.

So what happened?

It's none of your business.

Shit, I tell you everything, don't I?

We decided to make love once, and get it off our minds.

Did you do it?

I'm your teacher. I should be yelling at you for not studying.

You are not my teacher now.

We did it.

- And? - He's somewhere, married.

That's powerful.

Cousin, don't stand there. Come, sit.

If you overcook the rice, you have to toss it.

- Meet Mr. Ricardo, the school therapist... - We've met.

Hello.

Grandpa, pass that plate.

I asked him to join us for dinner. He didn't believe I cook for you every day.

Delicious. Loose grains, as it should be.

Great. And I know, you see, my brother-in-law is from Valencia.

Valencia has the worst paella. Anyone makes it.

- It's horrible. - Valencia's got a name for it.

Screw fame. Rice doesn't know fame. You either make it well, or you don't.

He's told us about your recent suspensions. What's wrong?

- Are we the last ones to learn about it? - And we're at the end of the school year.

But this kid never sticks his nose out of books.

That way, he'll only learn to make his life complicated.

That was before. Today, a kid without studies has no future.

Future? Don't fuck with me.

They fooled me with the future all my life.

And now that I am in the future, what?

Well, it's a fraud.

So you see what our family is like, but we'll get Tristán to focus again.

Of course. That's what we like to do at our school, to be on top of our kids.

You're speaking metaphorically, right?

But of course. Indeed.

I thought of talking to the teachers, but I'm not...

The sausage, the sausage. Try the sausage.

His teachers are delighted.

Especially Ms. Isabel. You've won her over.

It's his theater work. So, how's the play?

Yes, how's the play?

Tell me, tell me your story.

Everything... everything was written in Heaven.

Excuse me, we're rehearsing.

Tristán, do you know them?

Don't get mad, but theater is so damned tedious.

It's old, boring. As if people today insisted on riding on a donkey.

- The fun part is acting in it. - Yeah.

Man, the way actors speak: "I shall put this dagger through my heart to end my life."

- I'll take you to the movies. - I can't. Grandpa is alone.

Don't worry, he's probably taking a walk.

Yes, but not a love story. I hate love stories.

Your little cousin, however, loves them.

You like Lucía a lot, huh?

- Me? - Yes, you.

I can tell.

Mind you, I won't get mad. I think it's normal.

I shouldn't be involved with her.

- Do you think? - You should know.

Your hands. You've got to wash your hands.

If not, they smell like your dick and girls run away.

- I guess you want Lucía to like you too? - I'm not her type.

That's what you think. She digs you. She told me.

Sure.

Can you keep a secret?

I'm falling out of love. Yes, I'm a bastard, I know. What can I do?

Love wasn't meant for good people.

It's whimsical, selfish.

Have you told her?

I don't need to. She's not dumb, she can tell.

I'm like a taxi. I can't take the same passenger all the time. Get it?

- Will you leave her? - No, I wouldn't hurt her.

- You will steal her away from me. - Me?

Send my regards. Asshole.

What were you doing?

And Claudio?

- Listen, I've got to go. - Now?

- Yes. Yes, yes. - Where?

- I've got stuff to do. - Right now?

Yes, I'll see you later. Bye.

Son of a bitch.

He isn't seeing someone else, is he?

- Has he taken anyone to your place? - No, I don't think so.

You would tell me, right?

Well, I don't know. You still hold a grudge about my communion.

You didn't miss much. I was ugly and chubby.

So, I owe you.

- We never saw each other again after that. - My mom found out and snapped at my dad.

And your mother hated my mother so much. Because of that thing.

- What? - You don't know? You're kidding.

- The thing my mother did. - No.

When your parents got married.

On the wedding night,

your father got drunk and disappeared suddenly, in the midst of it.

The next day, they became suspicious because my mother was gone too.

The family dissimulated, but your mother was devastated.

- What do you mean? - They had run away together.

My father and Aunt Carmen?

It was a huge deal.

A week later you father came back full of regret. He apologized and all.

My mother was kicked out of the family. She was the villain.

That's why they never went on their honeymoon.

My mother fell in love with your father. I think she's always loved him.

Then she wandered around.

She dated a married guy.

When she got pregnant with me, he gave her money and left her.

Did you meet him? Your father?

An idiot.

It isn't like the movies, when you discover he's a great adventurer.

He owned a cheese factory.

Quite a story.

- You can write it. You want to be a writer. - Oh, yeah.

Although I must admit I don't read much.

- You're not coming up? - If he comes back, tell him to call me.

See you later, cousin.

Here's your breakfast, champ.

Come on, wake up.

Here you go.

And last night?

- Nothing? - What I do is my business.

Damn it, we're both on the same team.

What about Lucía? She doesn't count?

Drink the juice, or it'll lose its vitamins.

And you? You like someone else?

Go now, Grandpa.

- Go out, I have lots to clean. - I refuse, I refuse.

- I've nothing to do among so many cars. - Go now.

Damn, what a gal.

Your grandfather told me about the war. He's the shit.

What did he say?

He shot himself in the hand to avoid the front. You didn't know?

Well, he doesn't speak much with me.

People had such interesting lives before.

Now everything's ordinary, it's a universal bore.

He also told me about your parents. I didn't know.

I'm sorry.

Grandfather.

The doctor told you not to overdo it.

I don't want to breathe this air, it makes people crazy. Look, it's sad.

I'm off to class.

Will you kiss me goodbye?

I'm happy.

That kid, Claudio, promised to take me to my town this weekend.

- But I was going to take you. - You? You can never do it.

Of course I can. I'll go with you.

But just you and me.

It has to be this weekend. Do you promise?

- I promise. I'll take you. - Good.

This can't happen. We can't waste the weekend.

- And later in the summer? - I promised. If not, that asshole will do it.

- You don't even know your part. - I'll study. We can stay longer tonight.

We'll never make it at this rate.

Maybe it's written that we won't make it.

- So why are we even walking, then? - For as we walk...

As we walk... What comes now?

For it's written that we'd walk.

Fuck.

- I can't believe you two have been arguing. - It's my fault.

We're two days away from the end of school, and I don't know my part yet.

It will be fine. Antón takes it too seriously.

It will go so well, we'll start celebrating now.

Champagne?

I always have a bottle in the fridge, but I never know what to celebrate.

Take this.

Open it.

No, no. Not me.

Two years ago, on Christmas, I gave my father a black eye.

We had to go to the ER and all the doctors were drunk.

He got so pissed off he prohibited champagne at home.

What about Christmas?

Muscatel. He brought muscatel and we toasted like with champagne.

- Shit. I warned you. - It brings good luck.

Hold on.

Take this.

To us.

Don't ruin it.

But don't feel bad, either.

Other students send me love letters.

Do you know how I got my first kiss?

I had to pay.

He was a supervisor at a summer camp. We were all in love with him.

And he decided that whoever wanted to learn how to kiss, had to pay.

You'd go inside a room, and he'd kiss you.

He'd French kiss you and then kick you out to let the next one in.

The only thing I remember is...

...that he tickled me with his moustache. He had a moustache.

Paying is not worth it.

It is better to chase the impossible.

When you don't do that anymore, life gets boring.

I'm sure you'll make many girls suffer.

But before that happens, you'd better have a bit of a bad time.

More?

It is never enough.

Grandfather.

- Are you all right? - Too many years,

too much dirt.

Cayetana, my saint. You were a saint.

A lot of things happened. You wouldn't have survived them, either.

You are there, and I am here still.

Your grandmother is buried right here.

It was her last wish.

- Here? - Yes.

That bastard of a priest was set on burying her in the cemetery.

But one night I dug up the coffin. Piquero, the gravedigger, helped me.

And we buried her here, where she had her flowers.

For God's sake.

If I didn't fulfill her last wish, how could I have the nerve to keep on living?

I don't believe in resurrection.

But if it ever happens, I hope it finds me near your grandmother.

Boy, the wretched woman stunk so bad when we pulled her out.

Breathe in. Breathe in this air, smell the land.

Because you've never smelled your land, except in a plant pot.

- What do people do for a living here? - Damn it, the same thing I do.

They're too lazy to die.

This is Venancio's home.

Let see if he's here.

Venancio.

Venancio.

Do you think the bastard died?

Venancio.

- Everything's collapsed. - He's just deaf as a post.

Maybe he's in Zaragoza with his grandchild.

I wouldn’t trade this for Zaragoza.

Look, Grandfather.

That's Ciriaco. I don't talk to that guy.

He'd know about the people.

I haven't talked to him in 30 years, and you want me to give in?

Have you no pride?

- The bus passes through again at 9:00. - I need a nap first.

I'm exhausted with so much traveling.

Grandfather.

I love your town.

Grandfather, let's go before it gets dark.

Grandfather.

Grandfather.

Grandfather?

Grandfather.

Madrid.

Don't say anything to Lucía.

- Let me talk to her. - I wasn't planning to tell her anything.

We could have been friends.

Is your grandfather home? I'd like to say goodbye.

No, he's not here.

He stayed in his town.

OK. Good luck.

You didn't want to do it with me, but with him...

You're all upset.

I didn't come all the way here to be a prostitute or a cleaning girl.

Cheer up. Your time will come soon.

Yeah.

Have you heard of "The Dream of Venus"?

They say that when you make love the first time, when you lose your virginity,

then you have the most beautiful dream in all your life.

It's like a release.

It's true. There's science behind it.

There's proof you dream something wonderful.

- Like what? - It depends on the person. I...

Does it matter?

You don't dream "The Dream of Venus" just like that.

You're making it up.

Will you give your grandpa a kiss for me?

I should do what my mother does.

When stuff happens, she meditates and does sun salutations here.

Although she even says she was like me when she was young.

So you know how I'll end up: as a nun.

They really know how it is.

When they're tempted, they use something like this.

- And they pull it tight. - Shit.

I should do the same...

...the next time I like some guy.

This is powerful stuff.

Every now and then my mother sets one free.

She says it cures spiritual sorrow.

Well, it doesn't work.

I've been thinking... I'm leaving.

Where to?

Wherever. I don't care.

- By yourself? - Or with you, if you want to.

Better alone than in bad company.

ENTER THE AMOUNT AND PUSH THE GREEN BUTTON

50,000

THANKS, MR. BUENAVENTURA ROMEO

100,000 pesetas for each of you! Win and see!

She was the messenger...

-100,000 pesetas! -100,000...

17,000,000 pesetas for you to enjoy the...

- ... to do it. Some accounts are lost. - It's the key.

Look, Mom. It's real easy.

You press here and it records. Let's see. Say something.

Son, take good care of yourself. It'll only be a week...

Show your father, or we'll get there and he won't know what to do.

Like for your last party, we could only see the feet.

Paris awaits us. Now you're the head of the family,

don't let us down. Take care of your grandfather.

He doesn't need to take care of me. I'm not a baby.

He has to take care of himself.

Son, take good care of yourself. It'll only be a week...

Show your father, or we'll get there and he won't know what to do.

Like for your last party; we could only see the feet.

Paris awaits us.

Here, your individual improvement is more important than grades.

At year-end I like to know where you started, and where you got to.

Excuse me for a second.

Tristán.

Can you come out for a minute?

Quiet.

These gentlemen are from the Police, Minors Division.

- You'll have to come with us, kid. - Your grandfather's corpse was found.

A neighbor made the report.

- I'll go get my stuff. - I'll take care of it, Tristán.

- I'm sorry about the delay. I was... - Don't worry, you're the first one here.

- This is Tristán Romeo. - Hello, I'm Pablo Torizano.

Can we have a minute?

Listen, Tristán. I'm a community educator.

Public Counsel will be here soon. We've already notified your aunt Carmen.

The police need your deposition.

Don't be afraid. You're not a criminal, you won't go to jail or anything like that.

- So I can leave. - Most probably.

Your aunt will look after you.

I don't want to go with her.

If you refuse, you'll have to go to a foster care center.

Do you prefer that?

It may be the best.

You can come for a few days, then return with your aunt.

You'll be under observation there.

Who will observe me?

Me.

Do you know what you'd like to do in the future?

Is this a test?

The police saw the transactions in your grandfather's account.

You were withdrawing the maximum each day.

What were you going to do with the money? Did you have a plan?

Why did you bury him secretly?

Did you want to go somewhere?

He asked me to.

So what was your plan? To be alone?

Aren't we all?

"THE ACACIAS" HOME FOR YOUTH

The priest is nice as can be.

You'll meet him.

- Hey, pal. Do you mind if I jack off? - No.

So I can think about my pretty neighbor and I sleep better.

Enrique Sánchez, please go to the secretary's office.

If you can't fulfill the last wish of a person, why would you survive them?

Some animals, when they feel death approaching,

return to the place where they were the happiest.

Are you comparing my grandpa to an animal?

- I didn't mean to say that. - No. He would have loved it.

I'll be damned.

Lolita.

Thank you.

- I've put the file inside. - I'm only under observation.

Why didn't you say anything?

In the end I left you out to dry with the play.

- Antón must want to kill me. - I'm sure it would have been perfect.

Sure.

What does Heaven want?

Nobody ever knows what it wants or not. Maybe Heaven itself doesn't.

My poor captain repeated it to me a hundred times.

And the more I live, the more I realize he was right.

- Get in. - Pablo!

Can I go, too?

Since when do you like theater?

If Tristán is acting, I'd like to go.

What for? So you can do what you did at the game?

I swear I won't run away.

Hurry, up. Get in the car.

- Good luck. - In theater, we say "merde".

Well, merde. I'll be there to prompt you. Go, guys.

Thanks for coming.

How did I find my master? By chance.

Like everybody else.

- What's our name? It doesn't matter. - Good.

Where do we come from? Does anybody know where we came from or where we go?

Did you know all the good and bad in the world is written in Heaven?

Great saying.

My captain said that each bullet fired from a rifle had its destiny.

- And he was right. Is that why you limp? - Exactly. Because of a bullet.

That bullet is to blame for all that happened to me.

If it wasn't for that bullet, I would have never been in love, or limping.

Limpy!

Let me tell you my story.

It starts like all stories...

...at the beginning.

No, master. Stories begin when someone decides to tell them.

I am afraid I've found not a servant, but a philosopher.

That's the way it must have been written up there.

We must follow our path.

- We must follow our path. - But where are we going?

Nobody knows.

- What will become of us? - We'll see what's written up there.

In the meantime, I'll entertain you with my stories.

And when night comes, we'll fall asleep, and we'll have a tranquil sleep.

Bravo! Bravo!

Bravo, bravo! Bravo!

And I used to think my cousin had never even broken a plate.

You've made quite a mess. What will you do now?

They'll send me to you mother's, I guess.

She's not that mean. She's crazy, but that can happen to anyone.

Pass me those over there.

At least you'll have something to write about.

Shit, Perales.

Is he still making records?

They say these ones are unbreakable.

Wow, another lie.

Excuse me, do you have any by Luis Cobos?

I think I do. Come this way.

Here.

Julio Iglesias.

Bon Jovi.

Cushman.

I hate them.

Claudio loved them.

Ipari Neceni.

This was his favorite.

To hell with it.

- You will be in trouble. - I didn't really like this job anyway.

That costume looks good on you.

- What are you doing? - My I.D.

If they've got your record, they don't leave you alone.

I'm so happy. Now I'm invisible.

You're insane.

It was written that you and I would end up together.

It wasn't fucking written. I owed it to you.

I had a dream that night.

What's curious is that I wasn't even asleep.

And so it was that my parents visited Paris.

The Good Life