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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:03,169 --> 00:00:05,341 (fire crackling) 2 00:00:05,383 --> 00:00:11,353 ♪ 3 00:00:11,395 --> 00:00:13,023 Over here. 4 00:00:13,064 --> 00:00:15,653 ♪ 5 00:00:15,695 --> 00:00:16,530 Leave it. 6 00:00:16,572 --> 00:00:18,199 Hey, just leave it! 7 00:00:18,283 --> 00:00:40,495 ♪ 8 00:00:40,536 --> 00:00:42,916 Behind the dumpster, quick! 9 00:00:42,999 --> 00:00:44,795 Get down, shh, shh. 10 00:00:44,878 --> 00:00:46,673 (dumpster rumbling) 11 00:00:46,799 --> 00:00:47,926 (children scream) 12 00:00:48,051 --> 00:00:49,261 Please, don't hurt them. 13 00:00:49,304 --> 00:00:51,642 (screaming) 14 00:00:51,683 --> 00:00:56,402 ♪ 15 00:00:56,443 --> 00:00:59,574 (gun charging) 16 00:00:59,658 --> 00:01:01,202 (laser blast) 17 00:01:01,244 --> 00:01:03,582 ♪ 18 00:01:03,624 --> 00:01:06,254 (flesh sizzling) 19 00:01:06,338 --> 00:01:14,729 ♪ 20 00:01:14,771 --> 00:01:17,777 Now that's what I call a hole in one. 21 00:01:17,902 --> 00:01:19,531 (lasers whizzing) 22 00:01:19,614 --> 00:01:32,264 ♪ 23 00:01:32,390 --> 00:01:35,270 (popping and zapping) 24 00:01:35,354 --> 00:01:36,607 There's the shock. 25 00:01:36,648 --> 00:01:38,276 (heavy breathing) 26 00:01:38,402 --> 00:01:39,905 ♪ 27 00:01:40,030 --> 00:01:41,658 And awe. 28 00:01:41,742 --> 00:01:50,510 ♪ 29 00:01:50,551 --> 00:01:52,680 (explosion) 30 00:01:52,764 --> 00:01:56,813 ♪ 31 00:01:56,897 --> 00:01:59,653 Hey kid, I think you dropped this. 32 00:01:59,694 --> 00:02:01,532 ♪ 33 00:02:01,573 --> 00:02:02,784 You're safe now. 34 00:02:02,909 --> 00:02:05,121 Can't say the same for the rest of humanity. 35 00:02:05,247 --> 00:02:07,251 Who are you? 36 00:02:07,377 --> 00:02:10,383 ‐I'm Future Man. ‐Joshy. 37 00:02:10,508 --> 00:02:13,639 ‐No, I'm Future Man. ‐Joshy! 38 00:02:13,722 --> 00:02:16,645 ‐Future Man. ‐Joshy? 39 00:02:16,728 --> 00:02:19,233 Joshy? 40 00:02:19,275 --> 00:02:20,361 Joshy! 41 00:02:23,032 --> 00:02:25,663 Joshy! 42 00:02:25,746 --> 00:02:28,042 Dad, you don't have to wake me up, okay? 43 00:02:28,126 --> 00:02:29,379 I have an alarm clock. 44 00:02:29,421 --> 00:02:31,550 Yeah, but not one that makes you pancakes. 45 00:02:31,675 --> 00:02:34,306 Come on, you little buddy boo. 46 00:02:34,389 --> 00:02:37,060 I'm an adult, you don't have to make me pancakes! 47 00:02:39,189 --> 00:02:40,443 (joystick cracks) 48 00:02:42,447 --> 00:02:44,743 My joystick! 49 00:02:44,784 --> 00:02:49,294 ♪ 50 00:02:49,377 --> 00:02:50,546 (explosion) 51 00:02:55,055 --> 00:02:57,059 (door creaks) 52 00:02:57,142 --> 00:02:59,939 ‐Yo! ‐Hey, Futterman! 53 00:03:00,023 --> 00:03:01,818 ‐How you doing? ‐I'm doing good, 54 00:03:01,902 --> 00:03:03,530 uh, except I need another joystick. 55 00:03:03,572 --> 00:03:04,824 Another one, what happened? 56 00:03:04,949 --> 00:03:06,828 You spazz out playing Biotic Wars? 57 00:03:06,912 --> 00:03:09,334 Smash your joystick...again? 58 00:03:09,459 --> 00:03:11,588 Why you still playing that stupid game? 59 00:03:11,672 --> 00:03:12,799 I know why. 60 00:03:12,840 --> 00:03:15,596 Because he spanks it to this one‐‐Tiger! 61 00:03:15,680 --> 00:03:17,350 That is not true, I do not spank it to Tiger. 62 00:03:17,475 --> 00:03:18,936 Dude, you spank it to Tiger so much, 63 00:03:18,977 --> 00:03:20,940 your right hand should be called Siegfried, man. 64 00:03:20,981 --> 00:03:22,067 Bam, you like that? 65 00:03:22,109 --> 00:03:23,111 I've been working on my slams. 66 00:03:23,236 --> 00:03:24,447 Look, don't worry about it. 67 00:03:24,489 --> 00:03:26,451 We all jerk it to video game people. 68 00:03:26,576 --> 00:03:27,704 I mean, she's not my type. 69 00:03:27,829 --> 00:03:29,206 I prefer Ms. Pac‐Man. 70 00:03:29,289 --> 00:03:31,837 Ms. Pac‐Man is married to Mr. Pac‐Man. 71 00:03:31,962 --> 00:03:33,841 No, because then she would be called 72 00:03:33,966 --> 00:03:36,053 Mrs. Pac‐Man, not Ms. Pac‐Man. 73 00:03:36,095 --> 00:03:38,308 This is essentially Pac‐Man's daughter. 74 00:03:38,350 --> 00:03:39,561 I'm fucking Pac‐Man's daughter 75 00:03:39,602 --> 00:03:42,065 under Pac‐Man's roof and she's gobbling my dick like 76 00:03:42,107 --> 00:03:43,192 homp, homp, homp. 77 00:03:43,234 --> 00:03:45,196 Me personally, I've always wanted to fuck Luigi. 78 00:03:45,238 --> 00:03:46,366 I love Italian dick. 79 00:03:46,491 --> 00:03:48,746 I bet Luigi's dick, the whole dick is hairy. 80 00:03:48,871 --> 00:03:49,873 The whole dick. 81 00:03:49,956 --> 00:03:52,336 He has a dragon that shits eggs 82 00:03:52,378 --> 00:03:54,256 like a chicken, that's fucking dope. 83 00:03:54,340 --> 00:03:58,097 Look, Luigi wouldn't last one day in the Biotic Wars. 84 00:03:58,139 --> 00:04:01,020 And, by the way, think about Super Mario Bros. as a whole. 85 00:04:01,145 --> 00:04:03,358 It's a ridiculous game, it makes no sense at all. 86 00:04:03,400 --> 00:04:04,402 What do you mean, what do you mean? 87 00:04:04,527 --> 00:04:05,613 What do you mean, "What do you mean"? 88 00:04:05,654 --> 00:04:07,240 Bowser builds a castle, he knows there's little 89 00:04:07,325 --> 00:04:08,827 Italian plumbers that are trying to stop him, 90 00:04:08,869 --> 00:04:10,873 but yet he makes these giant green pipes 91 00:04:10,998 --> 00:04:12,125 that lead right inside. 92 00:04:12,167 --> 00:04:14,046 ‐That makes no sense. ‐No, 'cause it's destiny. 93 00:04:14,171 --> 00:04:15,256 ‐Destiny?! ‐That's how you know 94 00:04:15,299 --> 00:04:17,135 it's meant to be, he had big pipes. 95 00:04:17,177 --> 00:04:18,806 And the one thing he didn't see coming 96 00:04:18,931 --> 00:04:21,436 was two Italian plumbers that fit exactly in those pipes. 97 00:04:21,520 --> 00:04:23,189 Those games suck, come on! 98 00:04:23,272 --> 00:04:24,317 Your games suck. 99 00:04:24,442 --> 00:04:26,321 Yeah, your game is literally unbeatable. 100 00:04:26,404 --> 00:04:28,199 That is why I play it, 101 00:04:28,325 --> 00:04:30,078 because it's unbeatable. 102 00:04:30,161 --> 00:04:31,038 Think about it. 103 00:04:31,080 --> 00:04:32,583 How many people have beaten Halo? 104 00:04:32,708 --> 00:04:33,919 How many people have beaten Call of Duty 105 00:04:33,961 --> 00:04:35,840 or BioShock? 106 00:04:35,923 --> 00:04:37,552 I play this game because no one has beaten it. 107 00:04:37,593 --> 00:04:39,221 Why would I want to beat a game that everyone can beat? 108 00:04:39,305 --> 00:04:40,599 There's nothing special about that. 109 00:04:40,724 --> 00:04:41,560 That's a true truth. 110 00:04:41,601 --> 00:04:43,229 Okay, I don't have time for this, 111 00:04:43,355 --> 00:04:44,315 I have to get to the lab. 112 00:04:44,357 --> 00:04:45,985 Yeah, have fun saving the world. 113 00:04:46,110 --> 00:04:50,953 ♪ 114 00:04:51,078 --> 00:04:53,959 Earth 2162. 115 00:04:54,042 --> 00:04:57,173 The human race is on the brink of extinction. 116 00:04:57,215 --> 00:05:00,472 The Biotics, a super race immune to disease, 117 00:05:00,556 --> 00:05:02,100 have released a deadly virus 118 00:05:02,183 --> 00:05:03,562 killing nearly all of Earth's 119 00:05:03,604 --> 00:05:05,691 40 billion inhabitants. 120 00:05:05,733 --> 00:05:07,361 (clatter) 121 00:05:07,486 --> 00:05:12,455 ♪ 122 00:05:12,496 --> 00:05:13,373 Hey Carl. 123 00:05:13,498 --> 00:05:15,001 Hey, Josh, how are you? 124 00:05:15,126 --> 00:05:16,253 Living the dream. 125 00:05:16,338 --> 00:05:18,634 ♪ 126 00:05:18,717 --> 00:05:21,096 What's left of humanity hangs on by a thread, 127 00:05:21,138 --> 00:05:24,729 defended by a small army known as the Resistance. 128 00:05:24,771 --> 00:05:27,360 I'm Tiger, this is Wolf. 129 00:05:27,401 --> 00:05:28,612 You're our newest recruit. 130 00:05:28,654 --> 00:05:29,864 Come fight. 131 00:05:29,906 --> 00:05:31,743 Welcome to the Resistance. 132 00:05:31,826 --> 00:05:32,828 ♪ 133 00:05:32,870 --> 00:05:35,334 Would you like to load previous game, Future Man? 134 00:05:35,376 --> 00:05:37,087 Yes, I would. 135 00:05:37,128 --> 00:05:39,007 Let's fuck this place up. 136 00:05:39,132 --> 00:05:41,388 Rip his fucking dick off! 137 00:05:41,471 --> 00:05:44,267 Weapon upgrade, X28 Psychoblaster. 138 00:05:44,394 --> 00:05:46,230 Nice, X28 Psychoblaster. 139 00:05:46,271 --> 00:05:47,400 Enemy vehicle approaching. 140 00:05:47,525 --> 00:05:48,527 Use your subatomic sensor mine. 141 00:05:48,652 --> 00:05:49,737 Thank you for that, Wolf. 142 00:05:49,779 --> 00:05:52,660 ‐Blow 'em back to hell. ‐Yeah, hoo! 143 00:05:52,785 --> 00:05:55,164 Come on, come on, come on, yes! 144 00:05:55,289 --> 00:05:57,168 ‐I live for blood! ‐Hey, Josh. 145 00:05:57,294 --> 00:05:59,882 Hoo, how long have you been in here, buddy? 146 00:05:59,924 --> 00:06:01,386 It smells bad. 147 00:06:01,428 --> 00:06:04,182 You know you're surrounded by cleaning supplies, right? 148 00:06:04,308 --> 00:06:06,061 Yeah, yeah, no, I know, I just‐‐I'm in the middle 149 00:06:06,186 --> 00:06:07,147 of something right now, man. 150 00:06:07,188 --> 00:06:08,190 Look, buddy, I hate to tell you this, 151 00:06:08,316 --> 00:06:10,153 but you might have an unhealthy obsession 152 00:06:10,194 --> 00:06:11,448 with this video game. 153 00:06:11,573 --> 00:06:12,867 It's not unhealthy. 154 00:06:12,908 --> 00:06:14,495 So that's not a water bottle 155 00:06:14,537 --> 00:06:16,916 filled with your piss so you don't have to stop playing? 156 00:06:17,000 --> 00:06:18,879 No. No, it's‐‐it's‐‐ It's apple juice. 157 00:06:18,920 --> 00:06:21,050 ‐Why don't you take a sip? ‐'Cause I'm not thirsty. 158 00:06:21,175 --> 00:06:22,803 You're so thirsty right now, 159 00:06:22,928 --> 00:06:24,807 ‐and you love apple juice. ‐Not that much. 160 00:06:24,891 --> 00:06:26,811 It's your third favorite juice. 161 00:06:26,895 --> 00:06:27,772 Not thirsty, dude. 162 00:06:27,813 --> 00:06:29,942 Then why you sweating right now? 163 00:06:30,026 --> 00:06:31,404 You parched, you want a sip? 164 00:06:31,446 --> 00:06:32,323 Nope. 165 00:06:32,448 --> 00:06:33,950 'Cause it's piss. 166 00:06:34,034 --> 00:06:35,954 Anyway, what level are you on? 167 00:06:36,080 --> 00:06:37,917 ‐Hoo, 83. ‐83? 168 00:06:37,958 --> 00:06:38,835 ‐Yep, yep. ‐That's the one 169 00:06:38,960 --> 00:06:40,213 you always die on, right? 170 00:06:40,339 --> 00:06:41,925 It is, and every time I come back with more 171 00:06:41,966 --> 00:06:43,177 and more weapons, however... 172 00:06:43,219 --> 00:06:44,847 I have never made it this far with this many 173 00:06:44,931 --> 00:06:46,851 weapons in my arsenal. 174 00:06:46,935 --> 00:06:48,855 Get ready to witness history. 175 00:06:48,939 --> 00:06:50,191 ♪ 176 00:06:50,233 --> 00:06:54,116 ‐Kill 'em all! ‐To the left, to the left! 177 00:06:54,157 --> 00:06:55,327 I'm dead. 178 00:06:55,410 --> 00:06:57,456 That was fast! 179 00:06:57,540 --> 00:06:58,917 So brutal. 180 00:06:58,959 --> 00:07:00,462 They took all your limbs. 181 00:07:00,546 --> 00:07:01,714 Yeah, they always do. 182 00:07:01,840 --> 00:07:03,593 Well, at least it helped me take my mind off 183 00:07:03,677 --> 00:07:05,096 all the shits I have to plunge for a while. 184 00:07:05,221 --> 00:07:06,683 I am so glad you said that 185 00:07:06,724 --> 00:07:08,227 'cause I did not have a graceful way 186 00:07:08,353 --> 00:07:10,941 to segue into this, um, but there's actually 187 00:07:10,983 --> 00:07:13,446 more shits for you to plunge, buddy. 188 00:07:13,488 --> 00:07:14,699 I'm sorry. 189 00:07:14,740 --> 00:07:17,454 It's okay, man, it's not your fault. 190 00:07:17,496 --> 00:07:21,128 Well, actually, one of 'em was. 191 00:07:21,211 --> 00:07:27,725 ♪ 192 00:07:27,766 --> 00:07:29,645 ♪ Got a good thing ♪ 193 00:07:29,729 --> 00:07:32,108 ♪ 194 00:07:32,150 --> 00:07:33,653 ♪ Got a good thing ♪ 195 00:07:33,778 --> 00:07:36,451 ♪ 196 00:07:36,492 --> 00:07:39,957 ♪ Got a good thing going, got a good thing going ♪♪ 197 00:07:39,999 --> 00:07:41,961 If you were as good at cleaning as you are at leering, 198 00:07:42,003 --> 00:07:43,965 you'd be a pretty good janitor. 199 00:07:44,007 --> 00:07:45,218 But you aren't. 200 00:07:45,259 --> 00:07:47,640 You are a shitty janitor. 201 00:07:47,723 --> 00:07:49,894 Dr. Camillo, please, just give me a break. 202 00:07:50,019 --> 00:07:53,150 Oh, we gave Dr. Yakamura a break to his collar bone 203 00:07:53,234 --> 00:07:54,528 when he slipped on your wet floor 204 00:07:54,654 --> 00:07:55,739 and broke all my samples. 205 00:07:55,781 --> 00:07:57,660 I'm really sorry, Stu. 206 00:07:57,785 --> 00:08:00,499 Sorry doesn't re‐swab those urethras. 207 00:08:00,540 --> 00:08:03,421 Do you think I like swabbing urethras? 208 00:08:04,632 --> 00:08:06,427 Guess it depends on the urethra. 209 00:08:06,552 --> 00:08:08,180 Nope, they're all bad. 210 00:08:08,264 --> 00:08:09,558 But I swab them all the same 211 00:08:09,684 --> 00:08:11,646 because it's my job, which is actually 212 00:08:11,688 --> 00:08:12,898 really, really important, 213 00:08:12,940 --> 00:08:15,404 unlike your job, which could be done by a Roomba. 214 00:08:15,445 --> 00:08:17,031 That's enough, Dr. Camillo. 215 00:08:17,073 --> 00:08:18,493 I'm sorry, Dr. Kronish. 216 00:08:18,535 --> 00:08:20,288 The custodial staff doesn't work for you, 217 00:08:20,414 --> 00:08:22,166 they work for me, as do you. 218 00:08:22,293 --> 00:08:23,420 And if you want to keep working for me, 219 00:08:23,545 --> 00:08:25,006 I suggest less tongue‐lashing 220 00:08:25,047 --> 00:08:27,010 and more urethra‐swabbing. 221 00:08:27,051 --> 00:08:28,513 Now, off you go, swab, swab. 222 00:08:28,638 --> 00:08:29,640 Right away, sir. 223 00:08:32,020 --> 00:08:33,648 Whoa, thank you. 224 00:08:33,773 --> 00:08:35,902 I'd fire that jackass, but goddamn he knows 225 00:08:36,028 --> 00:08:38,032 his way around a herpes culture. 226 00:08:40,787 --> 00:08:41,664 Sorry. 227 00:08:41,789 --> 00:08:43,918 Oh, no, no, no, go on. 228 00:08:44,002 --> 00:08:45,797 Go on, get a good look. 229 00:08:45,881 --> 00:08:48,511 It's what we're fighting here, the good fight. 230 00:08:48,553 --> 00:08:51,058 Hey, you know what they say, keep your friends close, 231 00:08:51,141 --> 00:08:54,189 ‐but your enemies on your lip. ‐Hmmm. 232 00:08:54,272 --> 00:08:55,400 Nice one. 233 00:08:55,442 --> 00:08:57,321 I was looking for a closer for my toast 234 00:08:57,446 --> 00:08:58,448 at the Christmas party. 235 00:08:58,573 --> 00:08:59,742 You mind if I use that? 236 00:08:59,784 --> 00:09:02,539 ‐Oh, yeah, it's all you. ‐What's your name again? 237 00:09:02,664 --> 00:09:05,044 ‐Uh, Futterman. ‐Futterman. 238 00:09:05,127 --> 00:09:06,422 Come take a walk with me. 239 00:09:08,050 --> 00:09:09,553 Now, they call it herpes simplex, 240 00:09:09,637 --> 00:09:11,139 but there's nothing simple about it. 241 00:09:11,181 --> 00:09:14,062 I have been studying this virus for over 40 years 242 00:09:14,145 --> 00:09:15,899 seeking a cure. 243 00:09:15,941 --> 00:09:19,072 It's why I became a scientist. 244 00:09:19,197 --> 00:09:21,201 Dr. Benson. 245 00:09:21,327 --> 00:09:23,415 When's the last time this possum ejaculated? 246 00:09:23,456 --> 00:09:25,460 ‐Three hours, sir. ‐Perfect. 247 00:09:25,544 --> 00:09:27,589 Now, what was I talking about? 248 00:09:27,673 --> 00:09:30,929 ‐Uh, herpes. ‐Oh, yes, of course. 249 00:09:30,971 --> 00:09:33,476 I'll never forget the night I contracted it. 250 00:09:33,560 --> 00:09:36,357 It was the night of the moon landing. 251 00:09:36,482 --> 00:09:40,114 There was a big party at the Pi Pi Gamma house 252 00:09:40,197 --> 00:09:41,199 at Caltech. 253 00:09:41,325 --> 00:09:42,411 The night of the moon landing? 254 00:09:42,453 --> 00:09:44,080 ‐Hmm. ‐That is an historic moment 255 00:09:44,205 --> 00:09:45,333 to contract herpes. 256 00:09:45,459 --> 00:09:47,421 Oh, you should've been there. 257 00:09:47,463 --> 00:09:48,840 Maybe you could've warned me that beneath 258 00:09:48,965 --> 00:09:50,092 that cherry red lipstick, 259 00:09:50,176 --> 00:09:52,347 Barbarella had an HSV‐1 outbreak. 260 00:09:52,431 --> 00:09:53,600 Couldn't see it. 261 00:09:53,683 --> 00:09:56,939 ‐Look at this monstrosity. ‐Oh, no, it's not that bad. 262 00:09:56,981 --> 00:09:59,068 I mean, actually, it's like some people 263 00:09:59,110 --> 00:10:00,489 look good with a bald head, 264 00:10:00,614 --> 00:10:02,743 and you look good with a cold sore. 265 00:10:02,868 --> 00:10:05,624 So actually the way the light's hitting it right now, 266 00:10:05,749 --> 00:10:06,876 it's kind of beautiful. 267 00:10:07,001 --> 00:10:09,757 One day, I'm gonna find a cure 268 00:10:09,840 --> 00:10:11,134 for this hideous blemish. 269 00:10:11,259 --> 00:10:12,888 Just have to keep trying new formulas. 270 00:10:13,013 --> 00:10:14,767 Well, it's like Einstein said, 271 00:10:14,892 --> 00:10:17,271 "Insanity is doing the same thing over and over 272 00:10:17,397 --> 00:10:19,401 expecting a different result." 273 00:10:19,485 --> 00:10:20,487 Thanks, Dr. Kronish. 274 00:10:20,529 --> 00:10:24,118 Oh, now, call me Elias. 275 00:10:24,202 --> 00:10:25,580 (chuckles) 276 00:10:25,622 --> 00:10:34,097 ♪ 277 00:10:34,138 --> 00:10:36,352 Janitor Futterman to the executive restroom. 278 00:10:36,394 --> 00:10:39,525 You are needed in the executive restroom. 279 00:10:39,608 --> 00:10:43,866 There is a...big problem. 280 00:10:46,872 --> 00:10:48,293 Josh, what's wrong? 281 00:10:48,376 --> 00:10:50,170 You barely touched your salmon. 282 00:10:50,297 --> 00:10:52,801 Can...can I have it? 283 00:10:52,884 --> 00:10:54,262 Yeah. 284 00:10:59,315 --> 00:11:02,028 Did you guys ever think that I'd be doing 285 00:11:02,069 --> 00:11:03,323 something more with my life? 286 00:11:03,448 --> 00:11:05,910 What are you talking about, Joshy? 287 00:11:05,994 --> 00:11:08,791 You work for one of the top sexual disease centers 288 00:11:08,875 --> 00:11:09,793 in the country! 289 00:11:09,918 --> 00:11:11,046 Every day you walk into work, 290 00:11:11,129 --> 00:11:12,424 you're curing disease. 291 00:11:12,549 --> 00:11:15,054 I mean, I'm not curing disease. 292 00:11:15,137 --> 00:11:17,559 But you're cleaning up after the people who are. 293 00:11:17,684 --> 00:11:19,813 Yeah, and literally anybody could do that job. 294 00:11:19,938 --> 00:11:21,317 Well, if you don't like it, you can always do 295 00:11:21,442 --> 00:11:23,321 something else, you can do anything 296 00:11:23,404 --> 00:11:24,782 you set your mind to. 297 00:11:24,823 --> 00:11:26,076 We've always told you that. 298 00:11:26,159 --> 00:11:27,954 Yeah, you have, but it's not true. 299 00:11:28,080 --> 00:11:29,917 I mean, considering that I have a shitty job, 300 00:11:29,958 --> 00:11:31,337 and I still live at home with my parents, 301 00:11:31,462 --> 00:11:32,673 and I didn't set my mind to that. 302 00:11:32,714 --> 00:11:34,468 Okay, I'm gonna be the bigger man here 303 00:11:34,551 --> 00:11:36,847 and not tell you how much that emotionally winded me. 304 00:11:36,972 --> 00:11:38,851 I know, I'm sorry, I didn't mean it like that. 305 00:11:38,976 --> 00:11:39,978 And I instantly forgive you, 306 00:11:40,062 --> 00:11:41,231 that's how family works. 307 00:11:41,357 --> 00:11:42,734 And there's nothing weird about living 308 00:11:42,818 --> 00:11:43,695 in your childhood home. 309 00:11:43,736 --> 00:11:44,863 This is my childhood home, 310 00:11:44,988 --> 00:11:46,534 and I live here. 311 00:11:46,575 --> 00:11:48,161 This is a Futterman house. 312 00:11:48,203 --> 00:11:50,040 I was conceived right upstairs in the same room 313 00:11:50,082 --> 00:11:51,209 where I sleep with your mother. 314 00:11:51,293 --> 00:11:52,671 The same room you were conceived in. 315 00:11:52,713 --> 00:11:53,840 Gross, Dad, come on. 316 00:11:53,965 --> 00:11:56,052 And one day, God willing, you'll conceive your own 317 00:11:56,094 --> 00:11:57,723 little Futterman in that same room. 318 00:11:57,806 --> 00:11:59,977 You should be encouraging me to get out of the house! 319 00:12:00,060 --> 00:12:01,104 But we don't want you to leave. 320 00:12:01,187 --> 00:12:02,733 What about your video game? 321 00:12:02,816 --> 00:12:03,985 You're the best at it, right? 322 00:12:04,110 --> 00:12:05,864 Doesn't that make you feel special? 323 00:12:05,989 --> 00:12:07,241 It's a video game. 324 00:12:07,325 --> 00:12:08,578 It's not real, it's just an escape. 325 00:12:08,619 --> 00:12:11,082 I'm not helping anybody by playing video games. 326 00:12:13,253 --> 00:12:17,261 All right, I'm gonna go play video games. 327 00:12:17,387 --> 00:12:19,391 Break their bodies! 328 00:12:19,516 --> 00:12:22,229 That's a clean break, double points. 329 00:12:22,271 --> 00:12:25,152 Make it rain blood! 330 00:12:25,235 --> 00:12:26,530 ‐Yes! ‐Level completed. 331 00:12:26,655 --> 00:12:28,743 Yes, yes, okay. 332 00:12:30,245 --> 00:12:33,753 Here we are, again. 333 00:12:33,836 --> 00:12:36,257 Level 83. 334 00:12:36,383 --> 00:12:39,263 Every time I go in there guns blazing, 335 00:12:39,389 --> 00:12:40,892 and every time I die. 336 00:12:40,975 --> 00:12:42,771 I can't keep doing the same thing again and again 337 00:12:42,896 --> 00:12:45,777 expecting different results. 338 00:12:45,860 --> 00:12:47,614 I gotta try something different. 339 00:12:47,656 --> 00:12:56,799 ♪ 340 00:12:56,924 --> 00:12:59,053 Unequip all gear. 341 00:12:59,178 --> 00:13:05,692 ♪ 342 00:13:05,817 --> 00:13:07,069 Go, go, go! 343 00:13:07,152 --> 00:13:11,662 ♪ 344 00:13:11,787 --> 00:13:12,622 Oh, shit. 345 00:13:12,664 --> 00:13:14,668 Self‐destruct sequence activated. 346 00:13:14,793 --> 00:13:16,045 ‐Oh my God. ‐Five. 347 00:13:16,170 --> 00:13:17,549 ‐Go, go, go! ‐Four. 348 00:13:17,674 --> 00:13:18,551 ‐Oh, my God, go! ‐Three. 349 00:13:18,634 --> 00:13:19,553 ‐Go, go, go, go, go! ‐Two. 350 00:13:19,636 --> 00:13:20,930 Run, you little fucker, run! 351 00:13:21,014 --> 00:13:22,434 One. 352 00:13:22,517 --> 00:13:28,069 ♪ 353 00:13:28,194 --> 00:13:29,323 Congratulations. 354 00:13:29,406 --> 00:13:31,200 You have defeated all of the Biotics 355 00:13:31,327 --> 00:13:32,704 and saved humanity. 356 00:13:32,787 --> 00:13:35,919 You are the savior. 357 00:13:35,960 --> 00:13:38,341 Woo‐hoo‐hoo‐hoo‐hoo! 358 00:13:38,466 --> 00:13:40,218 Hey, guys! 359 00:13:40,303 --> 00:13:42,307 Guess what I did? 360 00:13:44,353 --> 00:13:45,730 Hello? 361 00:13:53,078 --> 00:13:56,919 ‐Out to get snacks. ‐And explore! 362 00:13:58,213 --> 00:13:59,549 (sighs) 363 00:14:03,683 --> 00:14:06,355 All right, Siegfried, you and me, pal. 364 00:14:09,235 --> 00:14:39,337 ♪ 365 00:14:39,379 --> 00:14:40,882 Hey, Tiger. 366 00:14:41,007 --> 00:14:44,013 What are you doing sniffing around these parts? 367 00:14:44,138 --> 00:14:46,852 Maybe it's because I'm in heat. 368 00:14:46,894 --> 00:14:50,233 Heh, well then you're in the right place 369 00:14:50,275 --> 00:14:51,862 'cause I'm in heat also. 370 00:14:51,904 --> 00:14:53,031 ♪ 371 00:14:53,156 --> 00:14:56,663 Although, technically, male cats don't‐‐ 372 00:14:56,747 --> 00:14:58,166 Fuck it, it doesn't matter. 373 00:14:58,292 --> 00:14:59,753 Doesn't fucking matter. 374 00:14:59,795 --> 00:15:11,944 ♪ 375 00:15:12,069 --> 00:15:13,322 Future Man. 376 00:15:13,447 --> 00:15:15,368 ♪ 377 00:15:15,409 --> 00:15:17,287 The fuck? 378 00:15:17,372 --> 00:15:19,292 Oh, I'm hit! 379 00:15:19,417 --> 00:15:20,545 What the fuck?! 380 00:15:20,628 --> 00:15:23,007 (clatter) 381 00:15:23,049 --> 00:15:24,761 What are you doing here, who are you people? 382 00:15:24,803 --> 00:15:27,015 I'm Tiger, this is Wolf. 383 00:15:27,057 --> 00:15:30,314 We've come back from the year 2162. 384 00:15:30,398 --> 00:15:32,777 You're gonna help us save the world. 385 00:15:35,700 --> 00:15:36,827 No, no, get out of here! 386 00:15:36,910 --> 00:15:38,037 What, do you expect me to believe you guys 387 00:15:38,079 --> 00:15:39,457 are characters from my video game? 388 00:15:39,583 --> 00:15:41,545 It's more than just a game! 389 00:15:41,587 --> 00:15:43,465 God dammit, it's all over me! 390 00:15:43,549 --> 00:15:44,593 Relax. 391 00:15:44,676 --> 00:15:45,970 Wolf, it's just a little cum. 392 00:15:46,095 --> 00:15:48,350 ‐It's a lot of cum! ‐Wolf! 393 00:15:48,434 --> 00:15:49,603 Listen carefully. 394 00:15:49,686 --> 00:15:51,982 Everything that happens in the Biotic Wars is real. 395 00:15:52,065 --> 00:15:55,364 The Biotics, the wars, everything. 396 00:15:55,448 --> 00:15:56,909 The game is a recruitment and training tool 397 00:15:56,950 --> 00:15:59,038 sent back in time to find the one person 398 00:15:59,079 --> 00:16:01,209 with the skills to save us. 399 00:16:01,293 --> 00:16:02,545 A savior. 400 00:16:02,587 --> 00:16:04,215 ♪ 401 00:16:04,341 --> 00:16:06,428 It's you. 402 00:16:06,470 --> 00:16:09,726 You're the first and only person to have beaten the game. 403 00:16:09,809 --> 00:16:19,955 ♪ 404 00:16:19,996 --> 00:16:21,875 That's The Last Starfighter. 405 00:16:21,959 --> 00:16:24,129 It's the exact same plot as the movie. 406 00:16:24,255 --> 00:16:25,257 What's a movie? 407 00:16:25,341 --> 00:16:26,885 Okay, who put you up to this? 408 00:16:27,010 --> 00:16:28,096 The guys in the video game store? 409 00:16:28,137 --> 00:16:29,098 Such dicks. 410 00:16:29,139 --> 00:16:30,601 Is this part of your arsenal of weaponry? 411 00:16:30,643 --> 00:16:31,520 No, no, please don't. 412 00:16:31,645 --> 00:16:33,524 That's a signed authen‐‐Oh, my God! 413 00:16:33,607 --> 00:16:35,235 I paid my only bitcoin for that! 414 00:16:35,277 --> 00:16:36,655 Okay, listen, listen! 415 00:16:36,738 --> 00:16:38,534 I know this is a lot for you to digest, 416 00:16:38,617 --> 00:16:39,703 but the clock is ticking 417 00:16:39,744 --> 00:16:41,247 and we have to do this. 418 00:16:41,373 --> 00:16:43,126 Do what? 419 00:16:43,209 --> 00:16:45,506 ‐We're going to '69. ‐Beg your pardon? 420 00:16:45,589 --> 00:16:47,385 I said we're going to '69. 421 00:16:47,510 --> 00:16:49,889 Uh, you and me are gonna 69 right now? 422 00:16:50,015 --> 00:16:52,603 ‐Yes, are you ready? ‐Okay. 423 00:16:52,645 --> 00:16:54,607 Only, what's his deal in all this? 424 00:16:54,649 --> 00:16:56,403 Is he gonna watch or... 425 00:16:56,486 --> 00:16:58,365 No, I'm going to '69 with you too, 426 00:16:58,407 --> 00:17:00,118 make sure you don't fuck it up. 427 00:17:00,160 --> 00:17:01,663 No, he's right, we can't do this without him. 428 00:17:01,705 --> 00:17:02,832 What the fuck are you talking about? 429 00:17:02,957 --> 00:17:04,836 Going back in time to 1969 430 00:17:04,961 --> 00:17:06,798 to save the world. 431 00:17:06,840 --> 00:17:08,344 Oh. 432 00:17:08,427 --> 00:17:10,931 The year. 433 00:17:10,973 --> 00:17:13,102 (whirring) 434 00:17:13,186 --> 00:17:14,356 What's that supposed to be? 435 00:17:14,481 --> 00:17:16,233 It's a TTD, time travel device. 436 00:17:16,360 --> 00:17:17,987 That's a stupid name, it looks like a fucking iPad. 437 00:17:18,112 --> 00:17:19,741 Don't fucking touch it! 438 00:17:19,783 --> 00:17:22,705 Do you know how many soldiers we lost stealing this? 439 00:17:22,789 --> 00:17:23,707 Good men! 440 00:17:23,832 --> 00:17:25,419 Better fucking men than you. 441 00:17:25,461 --> 00:17:26,338 Wolf! 442 00:17:26,463 --> 00:17:28,717 ‐Stop it, we need him. ‐Do we? 443 00:17:28,801 --> 00:17:31,348 Are we really gonna waste a leap on this fucking guy? 444 00:17:31,473 --> 00:17:33,226 We don't know how many we have. 445 00:17:33,310 --> 00:17:36,190 Okay, so it's Last Starfighter meets Quantum Leap now? 446 00:17:36,232 --> 00:17:37,360 Look, I'll give it to you guys, all right? 447 00:17:37,485 --> 00:17:38,570 You're terrific actors, 448 00:17:38,612 --> 00:17:41,117 and your costumes are impeccable, 449 00:17:41,200 --> 00:17:42,745 but I'm not buying it, okay? 450 00:17:42,829 --> 00:17:44,999 You just obviously researched my love of video games 451 00:17:45,083 --> 00:17:47,003 and science fiction, and are using it against me 452 00:17:47,087 --> 00:17:49,342 to trick me in a really, really mean way. 453 00:17:49,384 --> 00:17:50,511 You're breaking and entering right now. 454 00:17:50,636 --> 00:17:51,888 You can't even be‐‐ 455 00:17:51,972 --> 00:17:54,143 (whirring) 456 00:17:54,268 --> 00:17:55,270 What's happening? 457 00:17:55,354 --> 00:17:57,775 I have risked way too much to get here. 458 00:17:57,859 --> 00:17:59,529 We are not leaving without you. 459 00:17:59,654 --> 00:18:00,906 What's going on? 460 00:18:01,031 --> 00:18:03,704 (thunder and lightning) 461 00:18:03,745 --> 00:18:05,206 Oh, my God! 462 00:18:05,248 --> 00:18:07,252 Oh, oh shit. 463 00:18:07,378 --> 00:18:08,505 Oh, shit! 464 00:18:08,589 --> 00:18:16,228 ♪ 465 00:18:16,270 --> 00:18:17,773 Where's all my shit? 466 00:18:17,899 --> 00:18:18,901 Your shit's not here. 467 00:18:19,026 --> 00:18:20,529 We're not in your room anymore. 468 00:18:20,613 --> 00:18:24,787 ♪ 469 00:18:24,913 --> 00:18:27,000 (muffled television noise) 470 00:18:27,042 --> 00:18:33,931 ♪ 471 00:18:34,056 --> 00:18:36,561 Altitude velocity lights. 472 00:18:36,645 --> 00:18:40,319 Three and a half down, 220 feet. 473 00:18:40,402 --> 00:18:43,867 Thirteen forward. 474 00:18:43,909 --> 00:18:47,040 What the heck? 475 00:18:47,165 --> 00:18:48,125 Daddy? 476 00:18:52,426 --> 00:18:53,929 Who are you? 477 00:18:54,054 --> 00:18:56,141 Five and a half down. 478 00:18:56,183 --> 00:18:57,937 Nine forward. 479 00:18:58,062 --> 00:19:00,317 I'm your‐‐ 480 00:19:00,442 --> 00:19:02,446 Do your goddamn drugs somewhere else, 481 00:19:02,572 --> 00:19:04,450 fucking hippie. 482 00:19:04,576 --> 00:19:06,538 ♪ You know the day destroys the night ♪ 483 00:19:06,580 --> 00:19:07,790 ‐Mom! ‐Calm down! 484 00:19:07,832 --> 00:19:09,084 Mom! 485 00:19:09,167 --> 00:19:11,339 Here we go, time to see his moves. 486 00:19:11,423 --> 00:19:13,552 (lamp crashes) 487 00:19:13,594 --> 00:19:14,679 Help! 488 00:19:14,721 --> 00:19:15,723 ♪ 489 00:19:15,848 --> 00:19:16,808 Get him, Dad! 490 00:19:16,850 --> 00:19:18,979 ‐Get out of my house! ‐It's my house too. 491 00:19:19,104 --> 00:19:20,357 (glass breaks) 492 00:19:20,441 --> 00:19:21,318 Future Man. 493 00:19:21,359 --> 00:19:24,490 Do a threat assessment and fight back. 494 00:19:24,574 --> 00:19:25,659 No, no, no, no. 495 00:19:25,701 --> 00:19:28,457 Grandma, Grandma, it's me, Joshy. 496 00:19:28,582 --> 00:19:29,792 Get him, Mom! 497 00:19:29,834 --> 00:19:33,717 ♪ 498 00:19:33,800 --> 00:19:34,927 Uncle Barry? 499 00:19:34,969 --> 00:19:36,848 (cocks gun) 500 00:19:36,973 --> 00:19:38,852 (grunting) 501 00:19:38,977 --> 00:19:40,856 The plates! 502 00:19:40,939 --> 00:19:42,485 All right, we tried it your away, 503 00:19:42,610 --> 00:19:43,445 clearly it's not working. 504 00:19:43,487 --> 00:19:45,616 We don't know that yet. 505 00:19:45,741 --> 00:19:47,745 Ow, stop! 506 00:19:47,870 --> 00:19:49,206 You want me to jump in now? 507 00:19:49,247 --> 00:19:50,376 Or would you rather watch your savior 508 00:19:50,501 --> 00:19:52,338 get beaten to death by his own family? 509 00:19:52,380 --> 00:19:54,634 Ow, my ear! 510 00:19:54,759 --> 00:19:57,263 ♪ She gets high ♪ 511 00:19:57,390 --> 00:19:58,892 ♪ She gets high ♪ 512 00:19:58,975 --> 00:20:02,400 ‐Man, no, no, no! ‐♪ She gets high ♪ 513 00:20:02,525 --> 00:20:05,739 ♪ She gets high ♪ 514 00:20:05,781 --> 00:20:07,493 ♪ 515 00:20:07,618 --> 00:20:09,706 (dog barking) 516 00:20:09,747 --> 00:20:12,837 ♪ I found an island in your arms ♪ 517 00:20:12,878 --> 00:20:15,384 ♪ Country in your eyes ♪ 518 00:20:15,509 --> 00:20:18,222 ♪ Arms that chained us, eyes that lied ♪ 519 00:20:18,264 --> 00:20:20,894 ♪ Break on through to the other side ♪ 520 00:20:20,978 --> 00:20:23,525 ♪ Break on through to the other side ♪ 521 00:20:23,608 --> 00:20:25,027 ♪ Oh, yeah ♪ 522 00:20:25,111 --> 00:20:26,280 Whoa‐whoa‐whoa‐whoa! 523 00:20:26,364 --> 00:20:29,244 What the fuck are you doing, moron? 524 00:20:29,286 --> 00:20:30,539 Move it! 525 00:20:30,664 --> 00:20:31,916 ♪ 526 00:20:32,000 --> 00:20:34,422 ♪ Made the scene, week to week ♪ 527 00:20:34,547 --> 00:20:37,260 ♪ Day to day, hour to hour ♪ 528 00:20:37,303 --> 00:20:38,764 ♪ The gate is straight, 529 00:20:38,805 --> 00:20:40,141 deep and wide ♪ 530 00:20:40,183 --> 00:20:42,897 ♪ Break on through to the other side ♪ 531 00:20:42,938 --> 00:20:45,569 ♪ Break on through to the other side ♪ 532 00:20:45,652 --> 00:20:48,282 ♪ Break on through, break on through ♪ 533 00:20:48,325 --> 00:20:50,913 ♪ Break on through, break on through ♪ 534 00:20:50,996 --> 00:20:55,506 ‐♪ Break, break ♪♪ ‐I traveled...in time. 535 00:20:55,547 --> 00:20:56,382 (laughing) 536 00:20:56,424 --> 00:20:58,512 (exclaiming) 537 00:20:58,553 --> 00:20:59,680 This is real. 538 00:20:59,764 --> 00:21:01,058 This is real‐‐ you're‐‐you're Tiger 539 00:21:01,183 --> 00:21:03,897 and you're Wolf, and you're time travelers. 540 00:21:03,939 --> 00:21:06,151 Oh my God, oh my God, tell me everything. 541 00:21:06,193 --> 00:21:07,571 Can I see a dinosaur? 542 00:21:07,696 --> 00:21:08,573 Can I please see a dinosaur? 543 00:21:08,698 --> 00:21:09,826 What the fuck happened in there? 544 00:21:09,951 --> 00:21:12,414 ‐Why can't you fight? ‐Why can't I fight? 545 00:21:12,456 --> 00:21:13,917 I've never been in one before. 546 00:21:13,959 --> 00:21:15,712 ‐You're a warrior. ‐No, I'm not. 547 00:21:15,796 --> 00:21:17,716 ‐But you're Future Man. ‐In the video game. 548 00:21:17,842 --> 00:21:18,969 Aren't people who play video games supposed 549 00:21:19,052 --> 00:21:21,349 to embody the skills of their online personas? 550 00:21:21,474 --> 00:21:22,977 No, no, it's the complete opposite. 551 00:21:23,060 --> 00:21:24,438 Why would anybody play video games 552 00:21:24,480 --> 00:21:25,858 if you could just do a bunch of really cool shit 553 00:21:25,983 --> 00:21:27,736 in real life? 554 00:21:27,820 --> 00:21:29,490 I don't‐‐I don't understand. 555 00:21:29,615 --> 00:21:31,536 In our time, video games are training simulators 556 00:21:31,578 --> 00:21:34,709 that hone the skills of elite soldiers. 557 00:21:34,792 --> 00:21:36,713 Oh, no, yeah, not in our time. 558 00:21:36,838 --> 00:21:39,594 No, it's like purely escapism, recreation. 559 00:21:39,719 --> 00:21:43,727 Do you have any useful skills? 560 00:21:43,852 --> 00:21:46,441 Uh, I'm good at word jumbles, 561 00:21:46,482 --> 00:21:48,612 um, Sudoku. 562 00:21:48,737 --> 00:21:49,864 Cumming on my leg. 563 00:21:49,989 --> 00:21:52,118 Okay, Wolf, I wasn't trying to cum on your leg, okay? 564 00:21:52,243 --> 00:21:53,622 If this is gonna become one of those things 565 00:21:53,747 --> 00:21:55,375 where like you can't forgive me and move on 566 00:21:55,500 --> 00:21:57,880 until we're even, then just go ahead, 567 00:21:58,005 --> 00:21:59,508 cum on my leg. 568 00:21:59,634 --> 00:22:02,138 Hey, guys, check it out! 569 00:22:02,221 --> 00:22:04,769 Oh shit, we need to change our clothes. 570 00:22:04,852 --> 00:22:05,771 Why? 571 00:22:05,854 --> 00:22:07,524 It's time travel 101, you need to blend in. 572 00:22:07,650 --> 00:22:09,027 Don't look like you're from the future. 573 00:22:09,110 --> 00:22:11,156 Look at this, look at this shit‐‐ 574 00:22:11,281 --> 00:22:12,743 Don't touch my gobulator. 575 00:22:12,826 --> 00:22:14,622 Hey, what the fuck are you guys wearing? 576 00:22:14,747 --> 00:22:16,249 See, what did I tell you? 577 00:22:16,376 --> 00:22:18,380 You, give me your clothes. 578 00:22:18,505 --> 00:22:20,384 Oh...no, don't, don't, don't. 579 00:22:20,467 --> 00:22:22,011 Don't, they are bikers 580 00:22:22,136 --> 00:22:24,850 and bikers are assholes. 581 00:22:24,892 --> 00:22:28,148 Well, how about instead of us taking off our clothes, 582 00:22:28,232 --> 00:22:29,735 you take off yours, 583 00:22:29,777 --> 00:22:33,033 and then maybe give us a little dance. 584 00:22:33,158 --> 00:22:34,370 ♪ 585 00:22:34,412 --> 00:22:35,664 (screaming) 586 00:22:35,789 --> 00:22:37,543 Fuck this place up! 587 00:22:37,626 --> 00:22:39,296 Murder everyone! 588 00:22:39,380 --> 00:22:41,884 (exclaiming) 589 00:22:41,926 --> 00:22:43,304 ♪ Stepped in my dreams 590 00:22:43,388 --> 00:22:45,434 and broke my own heart ♪♪ 591 00:22:45,517 --> 00:22:46,811 Let's go. 592 00:22:46,894 --> 00:22:48,147 ♪ 593 00:22:48,188 --> 00:22:50,192 Yeah, crush his nuts. 594 00:22:50,276 --> 00:22:52,698 Break their skulls! 595 00:22:52,823 --> 00:22:54,034 Fuck. 596 00:22:54,075 --> 00:22:54,910 (grunting) 597 00:22:54,994 --> 00:22:55,787 Shit. 598 00:22:55,871 --> 00:22:58,668 ♪ 599 00:22:58,752 --> 00:23:00,254 (grunting) 600 00:23:00,297 --> 00:23:02,801 (screaming) 601 00:23:02,885 --> 00:23:07,143 ♪ 602 00:23:07,185 --> 00:23:08,187 Head shot. 603 00:23:08,270 --> 00:23:09,899 Oh, shit, is he okay? 604 00:23:09,940 --> 00:23:17,080 ♪ 605 00:23:17,205 --> 00:23:19,668 ‐Head shot! ‐Head shot! 606 00:23:19,710 --> 00:23:20,921 Leg shot! 607 00:23:20,962 --> 00:23:23,551 ♪ 608 00:23:23,593 --> 00:23:25,847 And neutralized. 609 00:23:25,931 --> 00:23:28,353 Time to grab a skull trophy. 610 00:23:28,478 --> 00:23:30,482 No‐no‐no, no‐no‐no, stop. 611 00:23:30,607 --> 00:23:31,734 What are you doing? 612 00:23:31,859 --> 00:23:33,613 Stopping you from killing him. 613 00:23:33,696 --> 00:23:35,700 ‐Why? ‐Do I really have to say this? 614 00:23:35,742 --> 00:23:36,828 Killing is wrong. 615 00:23:36,953 --> 00:23:38,915 Oh, I can't work with this guy. 616 00:23:38,957 --> 00:23:40,084 Can we just take their clothes 617 00:23:40,167 --> 00:23:41,587 and leave, please? 618 00:23:41,671 --> 00:23:44,593 You never had a problem with killing in our simulator. 619 00:23:44,677 --> 00:23:46,973 Oh, my God, that guy's bone is sticking out. 620 00:23:47,056 --> 00:23:50,229 ♪ 621 00:23:50,355 --> 00:23:52,818 (motorcycle growls) 622 00:23:52,860 --> 00:23:54,864 ♪ 623 00:23:54,989 --> 00:23:56,367 I mean, I think it goes without saying, 624 00:23:56,492 --> 00:23:58,746 but I don't know how to ride one of these. 625 00:23:58,830 --> 00:24:00,249 Just get on. 626 00:24:00,333 --> 00:24:02,128 ‐On your‐‐ ‐Mine. 627 00:24:02,211 --> 00:24:03,255 Yeah, okay. 628 00:24:03,381 --> 00:24:11,731 ♪ 629 00:24:14,904 --> 00:24:17,033 (chatter) 630 00:24:19,496 --> 00:24:21,959 Never seen so much food in my life. 631 00:24:22,001 --> 00:24:23,880 It's literally hanging from the walls. 632 00:24:24,005 --> 00:24:26,385 I take it you don't have delis in the future? 633 00:24:26,510 --> 00:24:28,263 No, we live in a sewer. 634 00:24:28,389 --> 00:24:30,142 We eat garbage and rats. 635 00:24:30,226 --> 00:24:32,773 ‐Ew. ‐Yeah, no fucking shit. 636 00:24:32,898 --> 00:24:36,279 Eat a rat asshole, then say fucking "ew." 637 00:24:36,405 --> 00:24:39,536 ‐Here you go. ‐Thank you. 638 00:24:39,662 --> 00:24:42,166 Okay. 639 00:24:42,250 --> 00:24:43,795 (sniffs) 640 00:24:49,807 --> 00:24:51,310 Holy shit. 641 00:24:52,688 --> 00:24:53,815 Holy shit. 642 00:24:53,940 --> 00:24:55,318 Here's some water for you. 643 00:24:55,443 --> 00:24:57,823 Oh, these little green logs are fucking amazing. 644 00:24:57,948 --> 00:24:58,950 They're called pickles. 645 00:24:59,033 --> 00:25:00,662 ‐Calm down. ‐More logs! 646 00:25:00,745 --> 00:25:02,666 Okay, okay, look, I know you're from the sewers 647 00:25:02,791 --> 00:25:03,876 and everything, but you need to do 648 00:25:03,918 --> 00:25:05,422 a better job about acting normal here, okay? 649 00:25:05,505 --> 00:25:07,049 What the fuck does it matter? 650 00:25:07,133 --> 00:25:08,303 They're all fucking dead anyway. 651 00:25:08,428 --> 00:25:11,309 You're all fucking dead, you're all dead! 652 00:25:11,392 --> 00:25:14,022 Just shoving food into your dead fucking mouths! 653 00:25:14,063 --> 00:25:15,400 ‐No, no, no. ‐So hope you have 654 00:25:15,442 --> 00:25:16,527 a great last meal. 655 00:25:16,569 --> 00:25:18,196 ‐No, no, no, she's‐‐ ‐Grandma, you're dead. 656 00:25:18,280 --> 00:25:20,535 ‐You little girl, dead! ‐No, no, no, you're not dead. 657 00:25:20,577 --> 00:25:22,581 ‐You're fucking dead. ‐You're okay, you're okay. 658 00:25:22,664 --> 00:25:23,583 Your kids are dead! 659 00:25:23,666 --> 00:25:24,835 Your kids are fine, everybody's fine. 660 00:25:24,960 --> 00:25:26,589 ‐Your babies are dead. ‐She's having a bad trip. 661 00:25:26,672 --> 00:25:28,926 It's the, you know, '60s, it's... 662 00:25:28,968 --> 00:25:31,599 Okay, even if that is true, you can't yell it at people 663 00:25:31,682 --> 00:25:32,851 when they're eating their matzo ball soup. 664 00:25:32,976 --> 00:25:33,978 I know that you're upset. 665 00:25:34,103 --> 00:25:35,857 You don't know what I am 666 00:25:35,982 --> 00:25:37,109 or what I've been through 667 00:25:37,234 --> 00:25:38,613 or the people that sacrificed their lives 668 00:25:38,696 --> 00:25:40,575 to get me here because I thought you 669 00:25:40,617 --> 00:25:42,203 were the savior. 670 00:25:44,958 --> 00:25:46,837 I lost everyone to get here. 671 00:25:46,921 --> 00:25:47,964 And what? 672 00:25:48,048 --> 00:25:51,722 So you could fucking enlighten me about pickles? 673 00:25:51,806 --> 00:25:53,351 Hey! 674 00:25:53,476 --> 00:25:56,231 Come on, now, those are fucking good. 675 00:25:56,357 --> 00:25:57,818 You've nothing to offer. 676 00:25:57,859 --> 00:25:59,363 You are nothing like the man I thought 677 00:25:59,446 --> 00:26:01,367 I was coming back for. 678 00:26:01,450 --> 00:26:02,994 Nothing. 679 00:26:03,120 --> 00:26:05,207 Wolf, fire up the TTD, we're sending him back. 680 00:26:05,249 --> 00:26:07,879 No, no, no, no, please, don't send me back! 681 00:26:08,004 --> 00:26:09,967 I just got here, I've wanted this my entire life. 682 00:26:10,008 --> 00:26:12,889 Look, I can probably still help out with the mission. 683 00:26:12,973 --> 00:26:14,225 No, you can't because we don't even know 684 00:26:14,267 --> 00:26:15,395 where the fuck to start. 685 00:26:15,478 --> 00:26:17,148 But if you're from the future, 686 00:26:17,231 --> 00:26:18,651 shouldn't you just know everything? 687 00:26:18,776 --> 00:26:20,028 No. 688 00:26:20,112 --> 00:26:22,701 The Biotics control everything. 689 00:26:22,742 --> 00:26:27,209 All we know is that tonight, on July 20th, 1969, 690 00:26:27,251 --> 00:26:29,339 something happens that leads to the annihilation 691 00:26:29,381 --> 00:26:32,387 of the entire human race and we were hoping 692 00:26:32,471 --> 00:26:34,516 that you'd be the key to stopping Elias Kronish, 693 00:26:34,600 --> 00:26:35,852 but that is just... 694 00:26:35,894 --> 00:26:37,355 that's not gonna happen. 695 00:26:37,397 --> 00:26:39,485 Fuck, it's over. 696 00:26:39,526 --> 00:26:42,908 Do you mean Dr. Elias Kronish? 697 00:26:42,991 --> 00:26:44,912 How do you know that motherfucker's name? 698 00:26:45,037 --> 00:26:46,624 I work with him. 699 00:26:46,665 --> 00:26:47,792 He's actually not a motherfucker. 700 00:26:47,876 --> 00:26:49,045 He's like this really sweet old man, 701 00:26:49,170 --> 00:26:50,924 and we're kind of, like, becoming friends. 702 00:26:51,049 --> 00:26:52,928 That sweet old man's research 703 00:26:53,053 --> 00:26:55,683 leads to a super cure for all diseases. 704 00:26:55,767 --> 00:26:57,938 The people injected with the cure, 705 00:26:58,021 --> 00:26:59,441 those are the Biotics. 706 00:26:59,566 --> 00:27:02,154 No, he's working on a cure for herpes. 707 00:27:02,196 --> 00:27:03,407 You're telling me that a cure for herpes 708 00:27:03,449 --> 00:27:05,411 is what brings down all of mankind? 709 00:27:05,537 --> 00:27:07,749 ♪ 710 00:27:07,791 --> 00:27:10,128 I am moving around, getting familiar, 711 00:27:10,170 --> 00:27:12,300 getting familiar. 712 00:27:12,384 --> 00:27:15,431 Holy shit. 713 00:27:15,557 --> 00:27:17,686 The moon landing party at Caltech. 714 00:27:17,769 --> 00:27:20,441 ♪ 715 00:27:20,525 --> 00:27:22,821 That's where Dr. Kronish first gets herpes, 716 00:27:22,946 --> 00:27:24,282 that's the whole reason he became a scientist, 717 00:27:24,324 --> 00:27:25,827 and that happens tonight. 718 00:27:25,910 --> 00:27:27,664 Go, go, go on. 719 00:27:27,706 --> 00:27:29,166 Okay. 720 00:27:29,208 --> 00:27:30,461 Okay, I got it, I got it. 721 00:27:30,545 --> 00:27:32,340 If we can get to Caltech 722 00:27:32,465 --> 00:27:34,303 and stop Dr. Kronish from ever getting herpes, 723 00:27:34,344 --> 00:27:35,597 he'll never become a scientist, 724 00:27:35,680 --> 00:27:39,354 and we can stop this whole cycle before it even begins. 725 00:27:39,438 --> 00:27:43,069 Maybe you are the savior after all. 726 00:27:43,111 --> 00:27:44,196 Oh, come on. 727 00:27:44,238 --> 00:27:45,700 I call fucking bullshit on that. 728 00:27:45,742 --> 00:27:46,827 No, how can it be a coincidence 729 00:27:46,910 --> 00:27:49,791 that the only person who beats Biotic Wars 730 00:27:49,833 --> 00:27:51,712 just happens to be friends with the man 731 00:27:51,795 --> 00:27:52,797 who destroys the human race? 732 00:27:52,839 --> 00:27:54,801 I don't think that's a coincidence. 733 00:27:54,843 --> 00:27:55,845 You heard her, Wolf. 734 00:27:55,928 --> 00:27:56,972 Can't be a coincidence. 735 00:27:57,056 --> 00:27:57,932 It's destiny. 736 00:27:57,974 --> 00:27:59,226 Just like Super Mario Bros. 737 00:27:59,311 --> 00:28:00,730 All right, are you ready? 738 00:28:00,813 --> 00:28:01,857 Let's do this shit. 739 00:28:01,982 --> 00:28:02,984 'Cause this isn't a game anymore. 740 00:28:03,109 --> 00:28:04,488 ‐Nope. ‐Things are about to get real. 741 00:28:04,613 --> 00:28:06,240 ‐Yep. ‐This is life or death. 742 00:28:06,367 --> 00:28:08,829 It's either kill or be killed. 743 00:28:08,871 --> 00:28:10,207 I'm gonna have to kill? 744 00:28:10,248 --> 00:28:11,502 Or be killed. 745 00:28:11,585 --> 00:28:16,135 ♪ 746 00:28:16,260 --> 00:28:17,262 Oh, no. 747 00:28:17,347 --> 00:28:19,601 Is that an X28 Psychoblaster? 748 00:28:19,643 --> 00:28:21,270 Holy shit. 749 00:28:21,397 --> 00:28:23,484 (laser blast) 750 00:28:23,526 --> 00:28:25,363 ‐Oh, fuck! ‐What the fuck are you doing? 751 00:28:25,405 --> 00:28:27,032 We gotta get out of here. 752 00:28:27,157 --> 00:28:28,494 ♪ 753 00:28:28,619 --> 00:28:29,496 Okay, okay, okay. 754 00:28:29,621 --> 00:28:30,498 (laser blast) 755 00:28:30,623 --> 00:28:31,500 Everybody get down! 756 00:28:31,625 --> 00:28:32,961 Heads on tables. 757 00:28:33,002 --> 00:28:34,840 We are from your time! 758 00:28:34,881 --> 00:28:36,092 ♪ 759 00:28:36,134 --> 00:28:38,138 Oh my God, shit got real in there. 760 00:28:38,221 --> 00:28:39,516 ♪ 761 00:28:39,641 --> 00:28:40,727 Uh, guys, the cops. 762 00:28:40,768 --> 00:28:42,772 Cops, cops, cops. 763 00:28:42,856 --> 00:28:44,150 Our first call, we've wanted this 764 00:28:44,275 --> 00:28:45,403 since we were kids. 765 00:28:45,486 --> 00:28:46,905 All right, Santiago, you ready for this? 766 00:28:46,989 --> 00:28:48,367 Let's do this, Skaarsgard. 767 00:28:48,409 --> 00:28:49,661 They're gonna arrest us. 768 00:28:49,786 --> 00:28:51,999 (siren blares) 769 00:28:52,040 --> 00:28:53,294 Wh‐‐what are you doing? 770 00:28:53,377 --> 00:28:55,423 What are you doing? 771 00:28:55,506 --> 00:28:57,302 Is that a subatomic sensor mine? 772 00:28:57,427 --> 00:29:00,308 ♪ 773 00:29:00,391 --> 00:29:01,810 (explosion) 774 00:29:01,894 --> 00:29:04,316 Oh, fuck! 775 00:29:04,441 --> 00:29:06,320 What the hell? 776 00:29:09,074 --> 00:29:10,536 (engine revs) 777 00:29:10,661 --> 00:29:12,289 Welcome to the Resistance. 778 00:29:12,373 --> 00:29:25,316 ♪ 779 00:29:25,441 --> 00:29:28,948 ♪ While you keep on dreaming, you kids, 780 00:29:29,031 --> 00:29:32,162 you must go on your way ♪ 781 00:29:32,204 --> 00:29:35,670 ♪ You get tired, but you get started 782 00:29:35,711 --> 00:29:38,216 every day ♪ 783 00:29:38,342 --> 00:29:40,847 ♪ Pick up and go ♪ 784 00:29:40,972 --> 00:29:43,310 ♪ Or you can fall on your face ♪ 785 00:29:43,352 --> 00:29:45,815 ♪ 786 00:29:45,857 --> 00:29:48,362 ♪ Go as long 787 00:29:48,445 --> 00:29:52,453 as to go you can ♪ 788 00:29:52,537 --> 00:29:55,083 ♪ Live as long 789 00:29:55,208 --> 00:29:58,214 as to live you can ♪ 790 00:29:58,299 --> 00:29:59,216 ♪ 791 00:30:06,315 --> 00:30:11,115 ♪ 53128

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