1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:05,302 We're serious about getting married. Whatever. I sent you a note to say I couldn't come. 2 00:00:05,509 --> 00:00:07,070 I gave it to Eileen Pickford to give to you. 3 00:00:07,071 --> 00:00:08,389 Eileen? 4 00:00:08,390 --> 00:00:10,949 My mother? Yeah. 5 00:00:10,950 --> 00:00:12,870 No, don't tell me you didn't get it? 6 00:00:12,871 --> 00:00:15,309 I'm very... fond of you. 7 00:00:15,310 --> 00:00:18,189 I just don't think I can do this any more. 8 00:00:18,190 --> 00:00:19,708 I'm arresting you on suspicion of assault. 9 00:00:19,776 --> 00:00:20,815 You're not arresting him! 10 00:00:20,816 --> 00:00:22,737 There's summat about you bending over in a field 11 00:00:22,738 --> 00:00:24,976 that makes me almost unable to contain myself. 12 00:00:24,977 --> 00:00:26,856 Ow! 13 00:00:26,857 --> 00:00:29,776 Tell me about when my dad died. It wasn't an accident. She killed him. 14 00:00:29,777 --> 00:00:32,216 We decided against an engagement ring, 15 00:00:32,217 --> 00:00:35,416 so instead, we bought a car between us. 16 00:00:35,417 --> 00:00:37,776 Judith, this is William, my eldest. Hello. 17 00:00:37,777 --> 00:00:40,456 He's had that bitch in our house. 18 00:00:40,457 --> 00:00:42,137 Don't come back. 19 00:00:45,182 --> 00:01:30,648 Subtitles by MemoryOnSmells http://UKsubtitles.ru. 20 00:01:30,657 --> 00:01:32,816 You can't just leave him. Can't I? 21 00:01:32,817 --> 00:01:34,816 Why not? He left me. 22 00:01:34,817 --> 00:01:37,536 I mean, you can't just abandon him in the middle of nowhere. 23 00:01:37,537 --> 00:01:40,296 You think I should let him humiliate me over and over again... 24 00:01:40,297 --> 00:01:45,016 Bend! ..and pretend that everything's fine and dandy, when in actual fact 25 00:01:45,017 --> 00:01:46,857 I'm having a nervous bloody breakdown? 26 00:01:46,858 --> 00:01:48,097 Mum! 27 00:02:00,577 --> 00:02:01,657 Oh. 28 00:02:02,817 --> 00:02:03,857 Are you all right? 29 00:02:05,137 --> 00:02:06,217 Caroline? 30 00:02:21,137 --> 00:02:24,896 Idiot. You're an idiot. 31 00:02:24,897 --> 00:02:27,176 Why am I an idiot? Telling her. 32 00:02:27,177 --> 00:02:29,496 He probably wasn't even doing anything. 33 00:02:29,497 --> 00:02:31,776 He hates her. He hates Judith. 34 00:02:31,777 --> 00:02:34,337 He was probably just trying to get rid of her. 35 00:02:44,937 --> 00:02:45,977 Mum. 36 00:02:49,977 --> 00:02:51,536 I'm sorry. 37 00:02:51,537 --> 00:02:53,056 I shouldn't have said anything. 38 00:02:53,057 --> 00:02:54,975 They weren't doing anything. They were just drunk. 39 00:02:54,976 --> 00:02:56,417 He let her into the house. 40 00:02:57,937 --> 00:03:00,456 It doesn't matter whether they were doing anything or not. 41 00:03:00,457 --> 00:03:04,457 What matters is that he's shallow and weak-willed... 42 00:03:05,817 --> 00:03:08,057 and I can't trust him. 43 00:03:09,057 --> 00:03:10,297 Much as I'd like to. 44 00:03:11,937 --> 00:03:12,977 For your sake. 45 00:03:14,257 --> 00:03:16,056 My sake. 46 00:03:16,057 --> 00:03:17,497 Everyone's sake. 47 00:03:30,457 --> 00:03:31,897 Are you all right, Mum? 48 00:03:34,337 --> 00:03:35,777 Are you? 49 00:03:38,897 --> 00:03:40,257 Come on. 50 00:03:54,537 --> 00:03:57,016 I couldn't find a parking space. 51 00:03:57,017 --> 00:03:58,177 What have they said? 52 00:03:59,817 --> 00:04:03,136 Um... they're not pressing charges. It is just a caution. 53 00:04:03,137 --> 00:04:04,177 Oh. 54 00:04:05,897 --> 00:04:09,776 Here, I know it looks extravagant, the car. 55 00:04:09,777 --> 00:04:13,617 And, yeah, your mother might have liked one, but I don't know, I... 56 00:04:15,417 --> 00:04:18,097 She were never bothered about cars. 57 00:04:20,297 --> 00:04:21,337 Odd. 58 00:04:22,537 --> 00:04:27,017 That thing you said about my mother not giving you that note. 59 00:04:29,777 --> 00:04:32,536 Do you wish she had? Given it to you? 60 00:04:32,537 --> 00:04:34,776 Well, you can't think like that, can you? 61 00:04:34,777 --> 00:04:36,376 No, but do you? 62 00:04:36,377 --> 00:04:38,896 No! Course not! 63 00:04:38,897 --> 00:04:42,936 But you aren't cross with her, for not doing? 64 00:04:42,937 --> 00:04:44,097 No. 65 00:04:46,937 --> 00:04:50,496 She was a fantastic woman, my mother. 66 00:04:50,497 --> 00:04:53,216 Yeah, she were. You're right. 67 00:04:53,217 --> 00:04:55,217 I've certainly got no complaints. 68 00:04:58,417 --> 00:05:00,416 Done and dusted. 69 00:05:00,417 --> 00:05:04,016 And next time, give the weedy little twat a wide berth. 70 00:05:04,017 --> 00:05:05,737 You all right? 71 00:05:09,257 --> 00:05:10,377 What were it about? 72 00:05:12,097 --> 00:05:15,777 Gillian? You know as much as me, Robbie. 73 00:05:34,657 --> 00:05:38,056 What did he say, the inspector? Stuff. 74 00:05:38,057 --> 00:05:39,857 I'll see you back there. Right. 75 00:05:41,097 --> 00:05:43,537 And what was Paul Jaktri saying? 76 00:05:44,577 --> 00:05:45,736 Shit. 77 00:05:45,737 --> 00:05:48,137 What kind of shit? Can I go in t'Lexus with my grandad? 78 00:05:48,138 --> 00:05:50,177 What kind of shit? Grandad, can I go with you? 79 00:05:53,097 --> 00:05:55,096 You OK? I'm sorry I spoilt your party. 80 00:05:55,097 --> 00:05:56,137 Ah... 81 00:06:23,937 --> 00:06:25,217 Ah. 82 00:06:27,697 --> 00:06:29,056 I'm going to my room. 83 00:06:29,057 --> 00:06:32,216 I thought I'd better hang about. You left the door unlocked. 84 00:06:32,217 --> 00:06:34,776 I'll ring Celia, see if she's all right. 85 00:06:34,777 --> 00:06:36,256 Right. Mm. 86 00:06:36,257 --> 00:06:41,017 How... how were things at the, um... police station? 87 00:06:43,257 --> 00:06:47,096 I'd hate you and Caroline to get the wrong idea about us. 88 00:06:47,097 --> 00:06:48,736 For my dad's sake. 89 00:06:48,737 --> 00:06:52,056 This isn't how he behaves, Raffy. He's a good lad. 90 00:06:52,057 --> 00:06:53,416 I'm sure he is. 91 00:06:53,417 --> 00:06:57,736 God knows why he couldn't rise above it. He... he would do normally. 92 00:06:57,737 --> 00:07:00,136 Kids. Well, boys, anyway. 93 00:07:00,137 --> 00:07:01,816 I...I helped myself. Good. 94 00:07:01,817 --> 00:07:03,937 I hope that's... Absolutely fine. 95 00:07:06,257 --> 00:07:09,056 Sorry about... What? 96 00:07:09,057 --> 00:07:12,096 Oh, dirty linen in public. Me and Caroline. 97 00:07:12,097 --> 00:07:15,936 Hey, listen. Don't apologise to me. 98 00:07:15,937 --> 00:07:19,256 Not for anything. I don't judge people. 99 00:07:19,257 --> 00:07:22,496 Never have done. Life's too short. 100 00:07:22,497 --> 00:07:24,816 Let's be frank. 101 00:07:24,817 --> 00:07:28,097 We're none of us perfect. The ironic thing is... 102 00:07:29,297 --> 00:07:31,576 What? Oh. 103 00:07:31,577 --> 00:07:34,056 I had this... 104 00:07:34,057 --> 00:07:35,936 fling thing, 105 00:07:35,937 --> 00:07:37,976 affair-fest, 106 00:07:37,977 --> 00:07:40,736 embarrassing mistake thing with this Judith, 107 00:07:40,737 --> 00:07:43,457 four... three months ago. 108 00:07:44,417 --> 00:07:45,737 Tell me when I get boring. 109 00:07:45,738 --> 00:07:48,256 Oh, the point is she... 110 00:07:48,257 --> 00:07:52,536 I was in the house by myself. Our house, mine and Caroline's. 111 00:07:52,537 --> 00:07:55,816 And she turns up. Judith. 112 00:07:55,817 --> 00:07:59,576 And I can't get rid of her. William comes home from school early, 113 00:07:59,577 --> 00:08:01,696 because he's in the middle of his A levels. 114 00:08:01,697 --> 00:08:04,176 He assumes we're up to stuff. 115 00:08:04,177 --> 00:08:06,456 Which we're not. Absolutely not. All over. 116 00:08:06,457 --> 00:08:08,576 Thing of the past. Big, bad mistake. 117 00:08:08,577 --> 00:08:13,496 Desperately grateful to be back with glorious, snotty, mad Caroline, 118 00:08:13,497 --> 00:08:15,017 albeit in the spare bedroom. 119 00:08:16,057 --> 00:08:20,617 But now she's gone all berserk and says I'm out on my ear again. 120 00:08:22,137 --> 00:08:23,576 Shit. 121 00:08:23,577 --> 00:08:24,617 I've... 122 00:08:26,697 --> 00:08:30,216 just got to pop upstairs and see if Raffy's OK. 123 00:08:30,217 --> 00:08:32,056 Sure. 124 00:08:32,057 --> 00:08:33,977 Sure. 125 00:08:46,577 --> 00:08:47,617 Raff? 126 00:08:49,577 --> 00:08:53,176 I want to know what Paul was saying that made you so cross. 127 00:08:53,177 --> 00:08:57,296 He's an idiot. Well, I can't say I'd argue with you over that. 128 00:08:57,297 --> 00:08:59,537 And you're an idiot as well. 129 00:09:13,057 --> 00:09:15,697 How's the car? Smashing. 130 00:09:16,737 --> 00:09:19,056 You couldn't drive me to the nearest railway? 131 00:09:19,057 --> 00:09:22,336 Well, where are you heading? Well, Harrogate. 132 00:09:22,337 --> 00:09:26,016 Well, I'll drive you there. I'm off over to see Celia. She's barely seen that car. 133 00:09:26,017 --> 00:09:28,256 But it'll have to be tomorrow morning. 134 00:09:28,257 --> 00:09:30,256 I'm not setting off now! 135 00:09:30,257 --> 00:09:34,056 It's dark. Fine. Great. Is that...? 136 00:09:34,057 --> 00:09:36,457 So... so could I stay? 137 00:09:38,577 --> 00:09:40,097 Can he stay? 138 00:09:41,177 --> 00:09:45,456 Alan's very kindly offered me a lift back to Harrogate tomorrow morning. Course. 139 00:09:45,457 --> 00:09:49,976 Only I'd be grateful if you... you didn't drink any more. 140 00:09:49,977 --> 00:09:53,056 I don't want you throwing up in t'car before Celia's even sat in it. 141 00:09:53,057 --> 00:09:54,376 Celia all right? 142 00:09:54,377 --> 00:09:58,856 Well, I think she'd have liked a turn in t'car. 143 00:09:58,857 --> 00:10:03,617 Perhaps I should phone for that taxi. Don't be daft. You stay put. Oh, I'll go and put t'kettle on. 144 00:10:08,937 --> 00:10:11,176 You want to stick up for yourself more, you do. 145 00:10:11,177 --> 00:10:13,297 Me? Yeah. 146 00:10:14,697 --> 00:10:17,376 You know, if you weren't doing owt, 147 00:10:17,377 --> 00:10:21,657 if you genuinely weren't doing owt with this Judith... 148 00:10:22,857 --> 00:10:25,856 why accept being chucked out? 149 00:10:25,857 --> 00:10:28,417 And presumably half the house is yours. 150 00:11:02,577 --> 00:11:04,816 Morning, everyone! 151 00:11:04,817 --> 00:11:07,536 Daddy's back! Daddy's home! 152 00:11:07,537 --> 00:11:10,616 153 00:11:10,617 --> 00:11:13,376 154 00:11:13,377 --> 00:11:15,936 Breakfast! I'm cooking! 155 00:11:15,937 --> 00:11:18,617 Who wants pancakes? 156 00:11:37,457 --> 00:11:39,216 Morning! It's ten to eight. 157 00:11:39,217 --> 00:11:41,577 Yes, I... Sorry I'm late. 158 00:11:44,097 --> 00:11:46,497 Oh! 159 00:11:49,057 --> 00:11:53,296 'The Sunday morning service comes from the church of St James the Great...' 160 00:11:53,297 --> 00:11:54,857 Oh, piss off. 161 00:12:12,897 --> 00:12:14,696 Bye-bye pom! 162 00:12:14,697 --> 00:12:16,776 Do you believe in God? 163 00:12:16,777 --> 00:12:20,376 I used to... to believe. 164 00:12:20,377 --> 00:12:22,217 Mid-to-late 1970s. 165 00:12:24,857 --> 00:12:28,336 What happened in the mid-to-late 1970s? 166 00:12:28,337 --> 00:12:30,576 I'm not sure. 167 00:12:30,577 --> 00:12:35,496 But, er... that's when we just seemed to stop going. Why? 168 00:12:35,497 --> 00:12:40,376 I think I'd like to get married in a church rather than a registry office... 169 00:12:40,377 --> 00:12:42,336 on reflection. 170 00:12:42,337 --> 00:12:44,976 Who's that making that din? Well, we can do. 171 00:12:44,977 --> 00:12:47,456 I...I don't think it's obligatory these days, 172 00:12:47,457 --> 00:12:50,697 to believe in God, just cos you want to get wed in church. 173 00:12:55,417 --> 00:12:58,656 What the hell on earth do you think you're doing?! Morning, darling. 174 00:12:58,657 --> 00:13:01,176 Don't you shitting well "darling" me! Potty mouth. 175 00:13:01,177 --> 00:13:03,496 What are you doing? Breakfast. Want some? 176 00:13:03,497 --> 00:13:05,136 Is that John? Has she let him in? 177 00:13:05,137 --> 00:13:07,216 I live here! How has he got back? 178 00:13:07,217 --> 00:13:11,456 No, you don't live here, because I chucked you out for being an arsehole! 179 00:13:11,457 --> 00:13:13,536 Yes, well... 180 00:13:13,537 --> 00:13:15,376 half this house is mine! 181 00:13:15,377 --> 00:13:17,976 I wasn't doing anything wrong! She turned up! 182 00:13:17,977 --> 00:13:20,135 William exaggerated! Get over it! Don't you touch that! 183 00:13:20,136 --> 00:13:22,017 And next time your mother slaps me, 184 00:13:22,018 --> 00:13:25,976 you tell her I will slap her right back! Harder! 185 00:13:25,977 --> 00:13:28,736 You are not making a mess in my kitchen! 186 00:13:28,737 --> 00:13:31,656 That's right! I'm making a mess in my kitchen! 187 00:13:31,657 --> 00:13:35,736 You forfeited any right to anything when you went off shagging that whore! 188 00:13:35,737 --> 00:13:38,896 Shout a little bit louder, Caroline! 189 00:13:38,897 --> 00:13:40,816 It's not funny! No. 190 00:13:40,817 --> 00:13:44,896 Morally, I can't argue with you. Legally, however, a tad more compromise! 191 00:13:44,897 --> 00:13:46,816 I do not want you here! 192 00:13:46,817 --> 00:13:50,576 Well, I don't mind you being here. It isn't like there isn't room, is it? 193 00:13:50,577 --> 00:13:52,456 So, if you can't be civil to me, 194 00:13:52,457 --> 00:13:54,856 just bugger off into another room, all right? 195 00:13:54,857 --> 00:13:57,217 Because if you're going to be difficult and unco-operative, 196 00:13:57,218 --> 00:14:00,216 I might just chuck all your things out, OK? 197 00:14:00,217 --> 00:14:01,736 What's happening? 198 00:14:01,737 --> 00:14:03,257 Nothing. 199 00:14:04,977 --> 00:14:06,976 Your father's behaving like a pig! 200 00:14:06,977 --> 00:14:08,857 Oh, damn. She's shut the window. 201 00:14:09,857 --> 00:14:13,296 You see, I'm not behaving like a pig. I'm willing to be entirely reasonable. 202 00:14:13,297 --> 00:14:16,137 You're doing breakfast, Popsicle? Yes, I am. Cool. 203 00:14:28,257 --> 00:14:30,377 It's not funny! 204 00:14:35,377 --> 00:14:37,336 Hey! 205 00:14:37,337 --> 00:14:40,217 How do you fancy driving over to Buckstones Ridge? 206 00:14:45,537 --> 00:14:48,057 Oh... 207 00:15:32,457 --> 00:15:33,657 I'm just off to work. 208 00:15:35,857 --> 00:15:37,737 Raff. 209 00:16:12,937 --> 00:16:14,056 Ah. 210 00:16:14,057 --> 00:16:16,096 What have you been saying to our Raff? 211 00:16:16,097 --> 00:16:18,256 Oh, steady on, Gillian. And going to the police? 212 00:16:18,257 --> 00:16:22,216 What kind of bloke gets beaten up by a 16-year-old and goes whining to the police? 213 00:16:22,217 --> 00:16:24,615 How about, "Thank you, Paul, for not pressing charges"? 214 00:16:24,616 --> 00:16:25,697 What did you say to him? 215 00:16:25,698 --> 00:16:28,216 "Thank you, Paul, for letting him get off with a caution." 216 00:16:28,217 --> 00:16:30,776 Nowt. I were just, like... You know. 217 00:16:30,777 --> 00:16:32,056 What? 218 00:16:32,057 --> 00:16:34,056 I were just saying what a fine woman you was. 219 00:16:34,057 --> 00:16:35,696 You idiot. Any time, love. 220 00:16:35,697 --> 00:16:37,976 Well, he didn't believe you, anyway. Ha-ha. 221 00:16:37,977 --> 00:16:39,936 Nah, he did. 222 00:16:39,937 --> 00:16:43,496 Not to start with, cheeky git. 223 00:16:43,497 --> 00:16:47,496 Not till I described the way your wallpaper's peeling off above t'window where it's damp. 224 00:16:47,497 --> 00:16:49,776 And your five million pair of shoes. 225 00:16:49,777 --> 00:16:53,456 And that photo he has by his bed of him, his Uncle Robbie and his dad. 226 00:16:53,457 --> 00:16:55,776 Yeah, yeah, I think that's when he realised 227 00:16:55,777 --> 00:16:58,216 I really had been in your upstairs. 228 00:16:58,217 --> 00:17:01,057 He went mad. Lickle bastard. 229 00:17:07,817 --> 00:17:09,497 That's... 230 00:18:13,097 --> 00:18:15,656 Hello? Gillian? 231 00:18:15,657 --> 00:18:18,656 Yeah? It's John Elliot. 232 00:18:18,657 --> 00:18:20,096 Caroline's husband. 233 00:18:20,097 --> 00:18:22,096 Oh. 234 00:18:22,097 --> 00:18:25,416 John. 235 00:18:25,417 --> 00:18:27,016 Hello. 236 00:18:27,017 --> 00:18:30,216 I'm just ringing to say thank you for putting me up last night. 237 00:18:30,217 --> 00:18:31,576 Oh, that's... 238 00:18:31,577 --> 00:18:35,296 I stuck up for myself, and, er... well, she didn't like it. 239 00:18:35,297 --> 00:18:37,176 Not surprisingly. 240 00:18:37,177 --> 00:18:39,016 But I did it. 241 00:18:39,017 --> 00:18:42,216 He's talking to someone. 242 00:18:42,217 --> 00:18:45,296 'Who?' I've got no idea. He's smirking. 243 00:18:45,297 --> 00:18:47,416 It's probably her, Judith. 244 00:18:47,417 --> 00:18:51,256 Well, I've no idea, Caroline. I'm sorry I upset you. 245 00:18:51,257 --> 00:18:55,177 I'm sorry I didn't listen to you. You were right. He's an absolute... 246 00:18:56,457 --> 00:18:59,096 jerk. I've spent the best years of my life 247 00:18:59,097 --> 00:19:02,176 married to an unreliable, shallow-minded... 248 00:19:02,177 --> 00:19:04,137 self-centred... 249 00:19:05,377 --> 00:19:06,977 jerk. 250 00:19:09,017 --> 00:19:10,056 Yes. 251 00:19:10,057 --> 00:19:12,136 What am I going to do? 252 00:19:12,137 --> 00:19:14,577 Divorce him, and not just talk about it this time. 253 00:19:14,578 --> 00:19:17,136 Sell the house, split everything. Start again. 254 00:19:17,137 --> 00:19:19,696 I can't sell this house! 'Why?' 255 00:19:19,697 --> 00:19:24,016 Because I... I've put so much into it. I've worked so hard for it. 256 00:19:24,017 --> 00:19:26,896 It's perfect. I don't want to sell... 257 00:19:26,897 --> 00:19:28,857 Anyway, I can't, because my mother... 258 00:19:28,858 --> 00:19:32,976 Actually, my mother's probably going to move out, because she's getting married. 259 00:19:32,977 --> 00:19:35,096 Your mother? Yes. 260 00:19:35,097 --> 00:19:38,256 Your mother is getting married? Who to? 261 00:19:38,257 --> 00:19:40,297 Oh, it's just... 262 00:19:42,657 --> 00:19:43,697 How sweet. 263 00:19:49,257 --> 00:19:50,857 Would you like me to come round? 264 00:19:51,857 --> 00:19:55,497 'Would you like to go for a walk? Would you like to do something?' 265 00:19:57,177 --> 00:19:59,337 Me going on about stuff a bit too much, probably... 266 00:20:01,217 --> 00:20:04,497 That's such a beautiful part of the world that you live in. 267 00:20:06,257 --> 00:20:07,976 John? John, John. 268 00:20:07,977 --> 00:20:10,337 I'm... I'm sorry. I've got to go, cos I'm at work. 269 00:20:10,338 --> 00:20:12,616 Oh, I'm sorry. Yeah, no... no problem. 270 00:20:12,617 --> 00:20:14,256 Ta-ta, then. Me waxing lyrical. 271 00:20:14,257 --> 00:20:16,216 Yeah. Aw. Bye! 272 00:20:16,217 --> 00:20:19,416 Probably see you again some time anyway. Yeah, yep. 273 00:20:19,417 --> 00:20:21,577 Bye. Bye-bye. Bye. 274 00:20:26,937 --> 00:20:29,777 Sweet exotic creature. 275 00:20:41,817 --> 00:20:43,257 'So, 2 o'clock, then?' 276 00:20:45,977 --> 00:20:47,816 Jesus Christ. 277 00:20:47,817 --> 00:20:51,296 He's lit a cigarette. 'Is that very...' 278 00:20:51,297 --> 00:20:53,336 How bad is that? 279 00:20:53,337 --> 00:20:54,617 We don't smoke. 280 00:20:54,618 --> 00:20:56,616 Oh. Ah. 281 00:20:56,617 --> 00:21:00,176 And he's drinking whisky at quarter-past 11 in the morning. 282 00:21:00,177 --> 00:21:02,776 And he's listening to the... bloody Archers! 283 00:21:02,777 --> 00:21:03,817 I've got to go. 284 00:21:04,937 --> 00:21:07,057 Right, well, I'll see you at... 285 00:21:23,977 --> 00:21:26,536 You silly bitch! 286 00:21:26,537 --> 00:21:29,496 What kind of example do you think you set these boys, hm? 287 00:21:29,497 --> 00:21:34,176 Smoking! And drinking and fornicating! 288 00:21:34,177 --> 00:21:38,256 And wallowing there like some... self-indulgent tosser! 289 00:21:38,257 --> 00:21:41,096 How dare you do that? I do not want you here! 290 00:21:41,097 --> 00:21:46,776 Well, bad luck. I live here, and if I want to smoke and bring women here, then I'll bring them! 291 00:21:46,777 --> 00:21:48,976 But I don't want to bring women here! 292 00:21:48,977 --> 00:21:51,776 Because I want our marriage to work! 293 00:21:51,777 --> 00:21:54,576 You mad cow! This marriage is over! 294 00:21:54,577 --> 00:21:58,456 It is dead! It is redundant! It... it never was! 295 00:21:58,457 --> 00:22:01,136 And I do not want to waste another second of my life 296 00:22:01,137 --> 00:22:03,457 pretending it's something worth saving! 297 00:22:06,497 --> 00:22:09,696 298 00:22:09,697 --> 00:22:13,056 299 00:22:13,057 --> 00:22:16,536 300 00:22:16,537 --> 00:22:20,177 301 00:22:21,377 --> 00:22:23,976 If anybody had told me a few weeks ago 302 00:22:23,977 --> 00:22:27,096 that I'd be sitting up at Buckstones Ridge, 303 00:22:27,097 --> 00:22:31,096 holding hands with a man who isn't my husband, 304 00:22:31,097 --> 00:22:33,856 and who's just driven me here in his Lexus, 305 00:22:33,857 --> 00:22:36,776 I'd have thought they were pulling my leg. 306 00:22:36,777 --> 00:22:39,016 Not that I'd have ever sat anywhere 307 00:22:39,017 --> 00:22:41,577 holding hands with a man who was my husband. 308 00:22:42,657 --> 00:22:45,656 Kenneth wasn't the hand-holding sort. 309 00:22:45,657 --> 00:22:49,216 I mean, even before the trouble, 310 00:22:49,217 --> 00:22:53,376 I don't think he'd a romantic bone in his body. 311 00:22:53,377 --> 00:22:56,936 And then after, when I'd found out what a randy sod he'd been, well... 312 00:22:56,937 --> 00:23:02,177 that put the tin lid on any sort of... Anything resembling romantic. 313 00:23:03,857 --> 00:23:07,456 I mean, I stopped going anywhere with him socially. 314 00:23:07,457 --> 00:23:10,057 I mean, he didn't know who knew and who didn't. 315 00:23:11,497 --> 00:23:15,496 And I work on the principle it's always wise to assume the worst. 316 00:23:15,497 --> 00:23:17,616 I mean, it's not nice, is it? 317 00:23:17,617 --> 00:23:21,136 Folk nudging each other, going, "Ooh, that's her 318 00:23:21,137 --> 00:23:25,336 "whose husband's at it with all and sundry behind her back. 319 00:23:25,337 --> 00:23:27,696 "I wonder if she knows, poor bitch. 320 00:23:27,697 --> 00:23:31,457 "I wonder what she's not doing that's making him look elsewhere." 321 00:23:32,977 --> 00:23:34,857 So, you stop in. You don't go out. 322 00:23:38,017 --> 00:23:39,657 And your world gets smaller. 323 00:23:41,737 --> 00:23:43,337 I should have divorced him. 324 00:23:44,577 --> 00:23:46,696 But it's easy to say, with a child to bring up 325 00:23:46,697 --> 00:23:50,096 and no money of your own. And you see, I'd not worked. 326 00:23:50,097 --> 00:23:51,856 I had no career. 327 00:23:51,857 --> 00:23:54,896 I'd given up my job when Caroline was born. 328 00:23:54,897 --> 00:23:56,897 Women did in them days. 329 00:23:59,617 --> 00:24:01,657 Could have killed him one time. 330 00:24:03,057 --> 00:24:04,937 I mean, literally, I could have! 331 00:24:06,857 --> 00:24:08,936 He was decorating the kitchen. 332 00:24:08,937 --> 00:24:11,937 Painting the ceiling up a little stepladder. 333 00:24:13,577 --> 00:24:15,977 He was hopeless at anything to do with DIY. 334 00:24:17,977 --> 00:24:20,257 Anyway, he slipped and banged his head. 335 00:24:21,817 --> 00:24:26,576 He must have been out for... oh, well, no more than a second or two. 336 00:24:26,577 --> 00:24:28,376 But of course, I panicked. 337 00:24:28,377 --> 00:24:30,457 Till he came to. 338 00:24:31,457 --> 00:24:34,217 It was only afterwards I realised I'd been slow. 339 00:24:35,617 --> 00:24:39,136 And I decided if it ever happened again I'd slip a cushion over his face 340 00:24:39,137 --> 00:24:40,937 and suffocate him. 341 00:24:47,097 --> 00:24:48,496 Have I shocked you? 342 00:24:48,497 --> 00:24:50,457 No. 343 00:24:52,497 --> 00:24:54,496 Oh, God. 344 00:24:54,497 --> 00:24:56,696 I'm sorry I go on about him. 345 00:24:56,697 --> 00:25:02,057 No, no, no, no. I'm just sorry you... you had it to go through. 346 00:25:03,577 --> 00:25:07,737 I'm only telling you this so you know what sort of a woman you're marrying. 347 00:25:09,297 --> 00:25:12,017 Do you fancy a pint in a pub? 348 00:25:13,697 --> 00:25:15,217 I was thinking... Oh, aye? 349 00:25:16,777 --> 00:25:19,097 Why don't you stop tonight in Harrogate? 350 00:25:20,897 --> 00:25:23,816 Oh, I don't mean anything untoward. 351 00:25:23,817 --> 00:25:25,057 I've got a spare room. 352 00:25:25,058 --> 00:25:31,136 Only it's going to be a long haul for you otherwise, taking me back to Harrogate 353 00:25:31,137 --> 00:25:33,136 then setting off to Halifax. 354 00:25:33,137 --> 00:25:35,897 And you were up at the crack of dawn this morning. 355 00:25:38,697 --> 00:25:40,657 I'd have to buy a toothbrush. 356 00:25:56,217 --> 00:25:57,817 Raff? 357 00:26:01,337 --> 00:26:02,777 Raffy? 358 00:26:23,777 --> 00:26:26,376 Answer it. 359 00:26:26,377 --> 00:26:29,736 'I can't take your call. Leave a message and I'll ring you back.' 360 00:26:29,737 --> 00:26:31,576 Raff, it's me. 361 00:26:31,577 --> 00:26:34,896 Where are you? Just ring me or... or text me. 362 00:26:34,897 --> 00:26:36,337 I...I need to know where you are. 363 00:26:38,257 --> 00:26:41,496 I'm sorry if I've upset you. I know I've upset you. 364 00:26:41,497 --> 00:26:43,777 But I need to know that you're all right. 365 00:27:01,817 --> 00:27:04,177 Oh, shit. 366 00:27:14,017 --> 00:27:15,816 Gillian? Is Raff with you? 367 00:27:15,817 --> 00:27:17,456 He is, yeah. 368 00:27:17,457 --> 00:27:20,656 Is he all right? 369 00:27:20,657 --> 00:27:22,417 Yeah, he's absolutely fine. 370 00:27:25,977 --> 00:27:27,496 What's he said? Nothing. 371 00:27:27,497 --> 00:27:31,096 Well, can I talk to him? He's a bit busy at the minute. He's on the Xbox. 372 00:27:31,097 --> 00:27:32,896 Yeah? Well, get him off the f... 373 00:27:32,897 --> 00:27:37,136 And to be frank I don't think he'd want to talk with you. I don't know what's happened, 374 00:27:37,137 --> 00:27:40,096 other than him fighting with that dickhead, but I assume something has. 375 00:27:40,097 --> 00:27:43,496 I assume that he's finally seen the light and worked out what a mad bitch you are, 376 00:27:43,497 --> 00:27:47,616 so you know, if he wants to move in here, that's fine by me. 377 00:27:47,617 --> 00:27:52,056 I'm not keeping him here by force. Don't you dare fill his head with rubbish about me. 378 00:27:52,057 --> 00:27:55,417 Will that be everything, then? You just tell him to ring me! 379 00:28:29,537 --> 00:28:31,136 Hello? John? 380 00:28:31,137 --> 00:28:32,297 Yeah? It's Gillian. 381 00:28:33,657 --> 00:28:34,897 Alan's daughter. 382 00:28:37,217 --> 00:28:38,536 Gillian. 383 00:28:38,537 --> 00:28:41,496 Sorry I had to ring off this morning. 384 00:28:41,497 --> 00:28:43,976 Only the boss were breathing down my neck and... 385 00:28:43,977 --> 00:28:46,496 No, no, that's... I thought nothing of it. 386 00:28:46,497 --> 00:28:47,696 Good, good. 387 00:28:47,697 --> 00:28:49,817 Good. So, how's things progressing? 388 00:28:52,457 --> 00:28:55,936 Oh, she's having a little coven in the garden 389 00:28:55,937 --> 00:28:58,017 with some insipid little witch that she works with. 390 00:28:58,018 --> 00:28:59,776 Nice. 391 00:28:59,777 --> 00:29:04,416 Lawrence says she's a lesbian. God knows why Caroline's invited her here. 392 00:29:04,417 --> 00:29:06,296 You know what you said last night 393 00:29:06,297 --> 00:29:09,977 about you having this affair with this... 394 00:29:11,217 --> 00:29:12,257 Judith? 395 00:29:14,577 --> 00:29:17,417 Yeah? Well... 396 00:29:20,857 --> 00:29:22,697 I did something similar and... 397 00:29:23,857 --> 00:29:25,937 You did? Yeah, a... 398 00:29:27,297 --> 00:29:28,737 stupid, stupid thing. 399 00:29:31,417 --> 00:29:34,976 And Raff's found out, and that's what that fight was about, 400 00:29:34,977 --> 00:29:36,776 and he's gone to live with Robbie. 401 00:29:36,777 --> 00:29:40,056 That's his uncle, the policeman. 402 00:29:40,057 --> 00:29:42,417 And he's a right bastard and... 403 00:29:45,777 --> 00:29:47,296 Bollocks! 404 00:29:47,297 --> 00:29:50,136 It was exactly the same when me and Richard got divorced. 405 00:29:50,137 --> 00:29:52,217 Neither of us could afford to buy the other one out 406 00:29:52,218 --> 00:29:54,616 so we had to sell up, split everything. 407 00:29:54,617 --> 00:29:58,496 Right down the middle. Beautiful house we had. 408 00:29:58,497 --> 00:30:00,656 It was heartbreaking. 409 00:30:00,657 --> 00:30:03,336 But you find a way forward. 410 00:30:03,337 --> 00:30:05,897 I'm going to have to get proper legal advice. 411 00:30:07,457 --> 00:30:09,977 Yes, obviously. I don't know what I'm talking about. 412 00:30:11,857 --> 00:30:16,096 Don't you? I was being sarcastic. I just said I've been through exactly the same thing, 413 00:30:16,097 --> 00:30:19,777 but, yes, you should get proper legal advice. Why are you being so snippy? Why? 414 00:30:21,497 --> 00:30:22,537 What? 415 00:30:26,657 --> 00:30:29,897 My dad's got Alzheimer's. Did you know that? 416 00:30:31,297 --> 00:30:32,736 God, I'm so sorry. 417 00:30:32,737 --> 00:30:36,537 There's a million and one things you don't know about me, Caroline... 418 00:30:37,617 --> 00:30:40,896 cos you never ask, and I try not to inflict things on people 419 00:30:40,897 --> 00:30:42,976 unless I think they're actually interested, 420 00:30:42,977 --> 00:30:45,137 but I've never really had the impression that you were, 421 00:30:45,138 --> 00:30:47,656 but you just take it for granted that I'll be interested in you. 422 00:30:47,657 --> 00:30:49,976 Don't you? You offered to come round. 423 00:30:49,977 --> 00:30:52,776 Mm, but you rang me up. 424 00:30:52,777 --> 00:30:55,136 After you'd dumped me. Shh. 425 00:30:55,137 --> 00:30:59,016 You rang me up expecting me to be sympathetic, which I am. 426 00:30:59,017 --> 00:31:02,176 Not that it'll do me any good. And then you're like a man. 427 00:31:02,177 --> 00:31:05,136 You just make this decision that I haven't got a clue 428 00:31:05,137 --> 00:31:07,617 what I'm talking about even though I've been through it. 429 00:31:07,618 --> 00:31:11,656 I think you're overreacting. You're reading things... And then having a go at me last week 430 00:31:11,657 --> 00:31:14,736 for talking to someone when I was upset about what had happened. 431 00:31:14,737 --> 00:31:17,376 Someone who was sympathetic and interested. 432 00:31:17,377 --> 00:31:20,096 Michael bloody Dobson? He tried to blackmail me. 433 00:31:20,097 --> 00:31:22,777 He didn't. You'd better go. 434 00:31:25,177 --> 00:31:26,377 Am I being dismissed? 435 00:31:26,378 --> 00:31:28,937 I shouldn't have rang you up. I'm sorry I did. 436 00:31:31,097 --> 00:31:32,377 Don't say that. 437 00:31:34,377 --> 00:31:36,097 I just want you to understand... 438 00:31:38,857 --> 00:31:43,577 the effect you have on me. 439 00:31:46,137 --> 00:31:50,256 If you ring me, I'll run round here, even though I know you're not really interested in me. 440 00:31:50,257 --> 00:31:55,737 I'm not... not interested in you. 441 00:31:57,497 --> 00:31:58,537 I'm... 442 00:32:01,177 --> 00:32:02,697 I don't know what I am. I... 443 00:32:04,577 --> 00:32:07,736 You're right, I've never asked you anything about you, 444 00:32:07,737 --> 00:32:09,776 and it's not because I don't... 445 00:32:09,777 --> 00:32:13,177 It's because I'm selfish and hopeless... 446 00:32:14,617 --> 00:32:18,216 and you've been a really good friend, and I don't know how to be a good friend. 447 00:32:18,217 --> 00:32:20,337 To anyone. 448 00:32:22,817 --> 00:32:24,816 My parents never got on. 449 00:32:24,817 --> 00:32:27,936 I grew up in a house on my own with these people 450 00:32:27,937 --> 00:32:30,696 who never spoke to each other unless they had to, 451 00:32:30,697 --> 00:32:32,576 and I thought that was normal. 452 00:32:32,577 --> 00:32:35,536 And now she's met this bloke, this Alan, and he's a sweet man, 453 00:32:35,537 --> 00:32:38,216 and he thinks the world of her, and she thinks the world of him, 454 00:32:38,217 --> 00:32:40,297 and she's so different! 455 00:32:42,657 --> 00:32:46,016 And I can't help wondering if she'd been in love with my dad 456 00:32:46,017 --> 00:32:48,257 and he'd been in love with her... 457 00:32:49,617 --> 00:32:51,937 how different things would have been. 458 00:32:53,497 --> 00:32:56,696 I don't know what normal relationships are like. 459 00:32:56,697 --> 00:32:59,777 I see them, but I don't know how to do them. 460 00:33:01,657 --> 00:33:03,616 So I'm sorry. 461 00:33:03,617 --> 00:33:08,017 I'm sorry if I've hurt you or taken you for granted. 462 00:33:09,377 --> 00:33:12,296 I will endeavour not to do that... 463 00:33:12,297 --> 00:33:14,097 in the future. 464 00:33:17,177 --> 00:33:19,577 Because I do value your friendship and... 465 00:33:21,737 --> 00:33:25,377 I'm sorry if I've never said or made that clear or done what... 466 00:33:27,257 --> 00:33:30,297 normal people do to express these things. 467 00:33:32,737 --> 00:33:33,777 So, I'm sorry. 468 00:33:36,177 --> 00:33:37,217 Thank you. 469 00:33:42,777 --> 00:33:46,496 I think you've got to give yourself a break, Gillian, I really do. 470 00:33:46,497 --> 00:33:48,816 He's 16 years old. Give him a week. 471 00:33:48,817 --> 00:33:51,336 Give him a week with Robbie's microwave cooking. 472 00:33:51,337 --> 00:33:54,976 Give Robbie a week with a bloody teenager in the house. You're right. 473 00:33:54,977 --> 00:33:58,176 You know where he is. You know he's safe. OK, he's had a shock. 474 00:33:58,177 --> 00:34:01,096 He's found out his mother has sex. Get over it. 475 00:34:01,097 --> 00:34:03,216 I know, I know. It's just life, you know? 476 00:34:03,217 --> 00:34:05,656 And he has to realise that you have... 477 00:34:05,657 --> 00:34:07,936 you know, just like everyone else does, 478 00:34:07,937 --> 00:34:09,856 urges, feelings, 479 00:34:09,857 --> 00:34:11,537 and when he's an adult, he'll get it. 480 00:34:11,538 --> 00:34:14,336 He will not look back on you and make judgments. 481 00:34:14,337 --> 00:34:18,216 He just needs a little bit of time. Step back from it, Gillian. 482 00:34:18,217 --> 00:34:19,736 I know it's not easy. 483 00:34:19,737 --> 00:34:21,496 He's your boy, but, 484 00:34:21,497 --> 00:34:22,937 if you can... Yeah, yeah. 485 00:34:26,577 --> 00:34:28,656 Yeah, you're right, you're right. 486 00:34:28,657 --> 00:34:30,697 Oh, kids. 487 00:34:35,017 --> 00:34:37,457 Gosh. 488 00:34:38,657 --> 00:34:40,457 So, how's things in the garden? 489 00:34:43,017 --> 00:34:45,377 Oh, much the same. 490 00:35:40,497 --> 00:35:41,897 Oh, God! 491 00:35:43,817 --> 00:35:45,897 Paul. Jesus. 492 00:35:49,057 --> 00:35:51,497 What's happened? Paul? What? 493 00:35:53,337 --> 00:35:54,776 Who did this? 494 00:35:54,777 --> 00:35:58,256 Who did it? Was it Raff? 495 00:35:58,257 --> 00:36:00,297 Robbie? 496 00:36:02,217 --> 00:36:04,697 OK. Come on. 497 00:36:05,817 --> 00:36:07,057 Let's get you inside. 498 00:36:32,497 --> 00:36:34,577 I think we should get you up to the Princess Royal. 499 00:36:34,578 --> 00:36:36,257 I'll be all right. 500 00:36:41,417 --> 00:36:42,497 What happened? 501 00:36:49,297 --> 00:36:50,337 Darren and Gavin. 502 00:36:52,977 --> 00:36:55,177 Hayley's brothers found out I'd been at it with you 503 00:36:55,178 --> 00:36:58,217 so them and a couple of big bastards laid into me. 504 00:37:01,817 --> 00:37:04,297 So, I... I guess the engagement's off, eh?! 505 00:37:05,377 --> 00:37:07,937 You dirty sod. 506 00:37:12,337 --> 00:37:15,977 They said they was going to pour petrol over me and set me on fire. 507 00:37:18,057 --> 00:37:20,657 I believed them. 508 00:37:35,537 --> 00:37:38,017 Let Granny in. 509 00:37:41,377 --> 00:37:42,857 Thanks. 510 00:37:45,137 --> 00:37:48,136 Morning! Hi. 511 00:37:48,137 --> 00:37:51,056 Just to let you know... Oh, you're very smart. 512 00:37:51,057 --> 00:37:53,136 Me and Alan are popping over to Halifax 513 00:37:53,137 --> 00:37:55,736 to look at possible venues for the wedding. 514 00:37:55,737 --> 00:37:59,856 So I won't be here this evening. I'll be stopping over at Gillian's with Alan. 515 00:37:59,857 --> 00:38:01,216 Right. 516 00:38:01,217 --> 00:38:04,536 I'm sorry to pop over so early but you'll be going to work so... 517 00:38:04,537 --> 00:38:07,136 Brush your teeth. Where are my shoes? 518 00:38:07,137 --> 00:38:09,256 Wherever you left them. 519 00:38:09,257 --> 00:38:12,897 He's very nervous. He's got his first English paper. 520 00:38:14,337 --> 00:38:16,736 He stopped over last night, Alan. 521 00:38:16,737 --> 00:38:19,937 Yes, I assumed. I, um... saw the car. 522 00:38:21,377 --> 00:38:24,176 He was going to sleep in the spare bedroom but... 523 00:38:24,177 --> 00:38:27,176 I don't know, one thing led to another, 524 00:38:27,177 --> 00:38:31,376 and I've got a double bed and we are getting married so... 525 00:38:31,377 --> 00:38:33,737 we shared the same bed. 526 00:38:35,217 --> 00:38:36,457 OK. 527 00:38:38,657 --> 00:38:41,496 I don't know what people'll think. 528 00:38:41,497 --> 00:38:44,656 Well, good for you. I just thought, "What the hell?" 529 00:38:44,657 --> 00:38:46,656 What people? 530 00:38:46,657 --> 00:38:49,297 I don't care. Anyone. 531 00:38:50,497 --> 00:38:52,456 Right. 532 00:38:52,457 --> 00:38:56,376 As I say, it's not as though we're not getting married, cos we are, so... 533 00:38:56,377 --> 00:38:58,256 So? 534 00:38:58,257 --> 00:39:00,656 You don't mind? Me? No. 535 00:39:00,657 --> 00:39:01,697 No, of course not. 536 00:39:03,657 --> 00:39:06,657 So... It's great. 537 00:39:10,897 --> 00:39:13,536 I'm talking about sex. Yes, I realise that. 538 00:39:13,537 --> 00:39:15,416 It was marvellous. 539 00:39:15,417 --> 00:39:16,657 I'd forgotten. 540 00:39:19,617 --> 00:39:22,496 I can be quite a romantic, when push comes to shove, 541 00:39:22,497 --> 00:39:26,256 not that your dad ever appreciated that. Oh, can you not just...? 542 00:39:26,257 --> 00:39:29,656 What? Well, it's... Oh. Have I embarrassed you? 543 00:39:29,657 --> 00:39:32,056 I don't need to know. It's fine, it's fine. 544 00:39:32,057 --> 00:39:36,136 Whatever you do, it's fine, it's good. You're adults. It's... 545 00:39:36,137 --> 00:39:38,057 I thought you might be happy for me. 546 00:39:38,058 --> 00:39:41,336 I am. I am! 547 00:39:41,337 --> 00:39:42,936 I love you, you know. 548 00:39:42,937 --> 00:39:44,577 I know you do. 549 00:40:10,737 --> 00:40:13,496 I can't get through to our Gillian. 550 00:40:13,497 --> 00:40:17,017 She's not answering her mobile or anything. 551 00:40:18,337 --> 00:40:19,937 Can I get you some more tea? 552 00:40:21,497 --> 00:40:23,616 No, no. No, no, I'm fine. 553 00:40:23,617 --> 00:40:26,777 Another egg? No, thanks. 554 00:40:33,137 --> 00:40:35,016 Sorry, what did you say? 555 00:40:35,017 --> 00:40:37,137 Something about Gillian? 556 00:41:10,617 --> 00:41:12,257 Right, where to? 557 00:41:14,337 --> 00:41:16,096 I can't go home. 558 00:41:16,097 --> 00:41:20,497 My dad's chucked me out and my mam says she never wants to clap eyes on me again. 559 00:41:29,977 --> 00:41:31,417 I'm not giving you Raffy's room. 560 00:42:56,977 --> 00:42:58,616 Hello? 561 00:42:58,617 --> 00:43:02,256 John? It's Judith. What do you want? 562 00:43:02,257 --> 00:43:04,296 Er... I, um... 563 00:43:04,297 --> 00:43:06,217 You shouldn't ring this number. What if Caroline had answered it? 564 00:43:06,218 --> 00:43:07,736 Isn't she at work? 565 00:43:07,737 --> 00:43:08,977 What do you want? 566 00:43:08,978 --> 00:43:12,056 You couldn't lend me some money, could you? 567 00:43:12,057 --> 00:43:16,696 It's just that the landlord's getting... unpleasant with me 568 00:43:16,697 --> 00:43:18,816 about the rent arrears and... 569 00:43:18,817 --> 00:43:20,696 You get benefits for that. 570 00:43:20,697 --> 00:43:23,056 Yeah, yeah. 571 00:43:23,057 --> 00:43:25,816 The thing is... 572 00:43:25,817 --> 00:43:29,176 I've spent it. Oh, Jesus. 573 00:43:29,177 --> 00:43:32,417 And you don't want me turning up on your doorstep, do you? 574 00:43:36,337 --> 00:43:38,856 I must have spent hours in here when I was a kid. 575 00:43:38,857 --> 00:43:40,296 Yeah, so did I. 576 00:43:40,297 --> 00:43:43,256 I always tried to, er... wangle it 577 00:43:43,257 --> 00:43:48,536 so that we'd sit somewhere where I could gaze at you. 578 00:43:48,537 --> 00:43:51,176 You didn't? You daft article. 579 00:43:51,177 --> 00:43:53,497 You were the only thing that made it bearable. 580 00:43:54,617 --> 00:43:57,016 I hated it, church. 581 00:43:57,017 --> 00:44:00,497 I used to get so bored and miserable. 582 00:44:01,857 --> 00:44:02,897 Yeah, well. 583 00:44:04,137 --> 00:44:08,216 Mind you, it's better than all this happy-clappy stuff they have now. 584 00:44:08,217 --> 00:44:12,096 Mm? Do you want a mint? Is it? Why? At least with the happy-clappy stuff, 585 00:44:12,097 --> 00:44:14,456 people actually look like they want to be there. 586 00:44:14,457 --> 00:44:16,816 Well, it's not proper, is it? 587 00:44:16,817 --> 00:44:19,256 They have pop songs at funerals now. 588 00:44:19,257 --> 00:44:20,937 Yeah? So what? 589 00:44:22,217 --> 00:44:24,056 Pop songs at funerals? 590 00:44:24,057 --> 00:44:27,896 Religion when we were kids was all about control. 591 00:44:27,897 --> 00:44:31,696 It was about the ruling classes being hand in glove with the Church 592 00:44:31,697 --> 00:44:36,497 to keep the ordinary hard-working people terrified of having a mind of their own. 593 00:44:37,577 --> 00:44:38,977 Was it hell?! No, it was. 594 00:44:38,978 --> 00:44:41,137 You think about it. 595 00:44:42,937 --> 00:44:44,696 I won't get into a debate. 596 00:44:44,697 --> 00:44:47,656 Why shouldn't you have a pop song at a funeral 597 00:44:47,657 --> 00:44:52,736 if it's something that you've liked, something that's meant something to you? 598 00:44:52,737 --> 00:44:56,017 Pop songs are for... for discos and pubs and social clubs. 599 00:44:58,857 --> 00:45:00,736 In church you sing hymns. 600 00:45:00,737 --> 00:45:02,056 Pop songs at funerals 601 00:45:02,057 --> 00:45:07,296 are about ordinary folk celebrating whatever, in their own way, 602 00:45:07,297 --> 00:45:11,456 not accepting what's inflicted on them by people in high places, 603 00:45:11,457 --> 00:45:14,697 who just want to keep everybody frightened and miserable. 604 00:45:15,697 --> 00:45:19,336 Well... 605 00:45:19,337 --> 00:45:23,857 some people need people in high places to tell them what's what now and again. 606 00:45:25,857 --> 00:45:29,337 You're going to tell me next you voted for Margaret Thatcher. 607 00:45:30,337 --> 00:45:33,896 Well, you can't have liked Michael Foot? 608 00:45:33,897 --> 00:45:35,617 In his anorak at the Cenotaph? 609 00:45:37,097 --> 00:45:39,496 A very intelligent man, Michael Foot. 610 00:45:39,497 --> 00:45:41,496 Oh, he can't have been that intelligent 611 00:45:41,497 --> 00:45:44,936 or he wouldn't have gone around looking like a scarecrow. 612 00:45:44,937 --> 00:45:46,937 I didn't dislike Tony Blair... Oh! 613 00:45:48,457 --> 00:45:50,656 Until he muckied his ticket in Iraq. 614 00:45:50,657 --> 00:45:54,816 Now, Gordon Brown, there's a much-maligned man. 615 00:45:54,817 --> 00:45:57,416 Gordon Brown? Mm. 616 00:45:57,417 --> 00:46:01,416 Trying to get everybody to like him, with his phoney grin? 617 00:46:01,417 --> 00:46:03,456 And he's Scottish. 618 00:46:03,457 --> 00:46:06,016 Now, there's an unassailable political argument! 619 00:46:06,017 --> 00:46:08,896 Well, it hardly needs pointing out he buggered up the economy. 620 00:46:08,897 --> 00:46:10,336 No, he didn't. 621 00:46:10,337 --> 00:46:12,976 He did not. He had vision. 622 00:46:12,977 --> 00:46:16,176 Oh, God. I can see this is a subject we're going to have to avoid. 623 00:46:16,177 --> 00:46:19,496 No, don't worry, I'll teach you. You damn well won't. 624 00:46:19,497 --> 00:46:21,417 Yeah, we'll buy you a copy of the Guardian. 625 00:46:21,418 --> 00:46:24,176 You can keep your Guardian. 626 00:46:24,177 --> 00:46:27,976 I thought I spotted a Daily Mail lurking in your recycling bin. 627 00:46:27,977 --> 00:46:30,816 What's wrong with the Daily Mail? What's wrong with it? 628 00:46:30,817 --> 00:46:32,496 What's right with it? 629 00:46:32,497 --> 00:46:36,216 Do you know, I'd never have had you down for red-hot Labour. 630 00:46:36,217 --> 00:46:39,456 I thought you had more about you. 631 00:46:39,457 --> 00:46:42,656 Do you know, the good thing about David Cameron 632 00:46:42,657 --> 00:46:45,736 is that even he knows he's an arse! 633 00:46:45,737 --> 00:46:48,576 No, every time he opens his mouth, you can see him thinking, 634 00:46:48,577 --> 00:46:53,496 "I was born an arse, I'll die an arse, but at least I know I'm an arse." 635 00:46:53,497 --> 00:46:57,536 You've suddenly got very coarse, Mr Buttershaw. 636 00:46:57,537 --> 00:47:01,976 So, what will you be walking down the aisle to, then? Mm? 637 00:47:01,977 --> 00:47:05,177 Jerusalem? Rule Britannia? 638 00:47:07,177 --> 00:47:08,977 The Arrival Of The Queen Of Sheba. 639 00:47:12,297 --> 00:47:13,337 What? 640 00:47:15,097 --> 00:47:16,137 What? 641 00:47:17,857 --> 00:47:19,736 No, no, that's... 642 00:47:19,737 --> 00:47:21,856 What?! 643 00:47:21,857 --> 00:47:23,257 It's very appropriate! 644 00:47:25,817 --> 00:47:27,817 Mm, I'd turn up for that. 645 00:47:28,817 --> 00:47:33,696 I can see how I'm going to have to re-educate you, Alan Buttershaw. 646 00:47:33,697 --> 00:47:37,496 Does that mean I get to choose the music we walk out to? 647 00:47:37,497 --> 00:47:39,096 Hell, no. 648 00:47:39,097 --> 00:47:40,816 It's become screamingly obvious 649 00:47:40,817 --> 00:47:43,497 I can't trust you any further than I could chuck you. 650 00:47:45,777 --> 00:47:47,736 Hey. 651 00:47:47,737 --> 00:47:51,016 I forgot we're in church. We've been swearing like troopers. 652 00:47:51,017 --> 00:47:53,497 Well, we'd better find t'vicar, then. 653 00:47:54,937 --> 00:47:56,536 If this is what you want. 654 00:47:56,537 --> 00:48:00,016 Well, not if you think I'm oppressing the masses. 655 00:48:00,017 --> 00:48:03,656 Oh, it'll be worth oppressing the masses for half an hour or so 656 00:48:03,657 --> 00:48:06,857 to see you arriving like the Queen of Sheba. 657 00:48:10,657 --> 00:48:12,616 I hope it isn't a woman. 658 00:48:12,617 --> 00:48:14,176 Who? 659 00:48:14,177 --> 00:48:16,217 The vicar. 660 00:48:21,537 --> 00:48:25,297 If you're insisting on a Saturday slot, you're looking at four... 661 00:48:27,937 --> 00:48:29,097 five months away. 662 00:48:31,937 --> 00:48:34,057 I think sooner rather than later. Mm. 663 00:48:37,017 --> 00:48:38,417 Are either of you divorced? 664 00:48:38,418 --> 00:48:39,457 No. No, no. 665 00:48:40,857 --> 00:48:42,137 Widowed. 666 00:48:43,617 --> 00:48:46,497 And you're both regular churchgoers, obviously? 667 00:48:49,177 --> 00:48:50,897 Well, we have been in the past. 668 00:48:53,337 --> 00:48:54,377 Hm. 669 00:48:55,977 --> 00:48:59,136 So, you're not regular churchgoers now? 670 00:48:59,137 --> 00:49:00,977 Not... No. 671 00:49:02,057 --> 00:49:04,497 When did you last go to church? 672 00:49:05,777 --> 00:49:07,137 Er... Christmas? 673 00:49:08,177 --> 00:49:10,136 19...oh, er... 674 00:49:10,137 --> 00:49:11,617 77? 675 00:49:12,697 --> 00:49:15,456 What about you, 676 00:49:15,457 --> 00:49:17,976 Mrs Dawson? About the same. 677 00:49:17,977 --> 00:49:19,216 Mm. 678 00:49:19,217 --> 00:49:23,576 So, why do you want God's blessing, 679 00:49:23,577 --> 00:49:25,137 if you don't go to church? 680 00:49:26,737 --> 00:49:28,937 I'm just interested. 681 00:49:34,257 --> 00:49:35,857 We thought he might like the trade. 682 00:49:48,777 --> 00:49:51,776 Miserable bitch! 683 00:49:51,777 --> 00:49:54,417 I mean, no wonder folk don't go. 684 00:49:56,897 --> 00:49:59,936 Oh, we could live over t'brush. 685 00:49:59,937 --> 00:50:02,576 Ah, but then you wouldn't be Mrs Buttershaw. 686 00:50:02,577 --> 00:50:07,216 No, and I fancy having a do. I want to buy a hat. 687 00:50:07,217 --> 00:50:10,696 Oh, we could find another vicar. I bet they're not all like that. 688 00:50:10,697 --> 00:50:14,736 No, she's put me off. That's it, now, with me and the Church. End of. 689 00:50:14,737 --> 00:50:17,536 Good night, Vienna. I've left the building. 690 00:50:17,537 --> 00:50:19,616 Well, where would you like to get wed? 691 00:50:19,617 --> 00:50:23,056 Cos, I mean, you can get wed anywhere now, you know. 692 00:50:23,057 --> 00:50:24,377 Oh, somewhere classy. 693 00:50:26,257 --> 00:50:27,297 Oh, yeah. 694 00:50:28,457 --> 00:50:30,016 South Ouram Hall. 695 00:50:30,017 --> 00:50:32,016 South Ouram Hall. 696 00:50:32,017 --> 00:50:34,377 Oh, I used to love South Ouram Hall. 697 00:50:35,497 --> 00:50:38,456 Is it still there? Yeah, yeah, far as I know. 698 00:50:38,457 --> 00:50:39,777 They've not mucked it up? 699 00:50:39,778 --> 00:50:43,537 No, I think it's just as creepy as it ever were. 700 00:51:27,817 --> 00:51:31,857 What's he doing here? It's my house. 701 00:51:33,897 --> 00:51:35,736 Slapper. 702 00:51:35,737 --> 00:51:38,536 Yeah, whatever. 703 00:51:38,537 --> 00:51:41,457 What do you mean? Is this what...? 704 00:51:43,217 --> 00:51:44,537 You and him? 705 00:51:47,017 --> 00:51:50,257 Right. I'm off upstairs to get the rest of my stuff. 706 00:51:52,457 --> 00:51:53,497 I'll be outside. 707 00:51:54,897 --> 00:51:57,737 You really do need your head examined. 708 00:52:16,657 --> 00:52:17,697 Ah! Ah! 709 00:52:19,977 --> 00:52:22,817 Oh! Oh! 710 00:52:28,897 --> 00:52:30,977 Hello? Shop? 711 00:52:36,297 --> 00:52:39,616 What, nobody about? No, doesn't look like it. 712 00:52:39,617 --> 00:52:41,217 Hello? 713 00:52:45,577 --> 00:52:46,777 Hello? 714 00:52:51,137 --> 00:52:53,297 Hello? 715 00:53:07,177 --> 00:53:10,056 My cousin Alice saw a ghost here once. 716 00:53:10,057 --> 00:53:13,176 Where? Er... upstairs. 717 00:53:13,177 --> 00:53:15,856 What was it like? 718 00:53:15,857 --> 00:53:17,457 A woman. 719 00:53:34,257 --> 00:53:35,576 Don't go. 720 00:53:35,577 --> 00:53:38,296 I can't chuck him out. He's got nowhere else to go. 721 00:53:38,297 --> 00:53:40,897 I'll... I'll go. You can't! You... You can't. 722 00:53:49,137 --> 00:53:51,177 Don't. 723 00:54:11,657 --> 00:54:14,137 I...I think it were this room. 724 00:54:28,297 --> 00:54:30,576 Er... she came through that door. 725 00:54:30,577 --> 00:54:33,016 She walked across here... 726 00:54:33,017 --> 00:54:35,777 and disappeared through that wall. 727 00:54:36,737 --> 00:54:39,297 Ooh. 728 00:54:49,417 --> 00:54:50,777 Shall we go? 729 00:54:52,697 --> 00:54:55,457 Power cut. Let's go. 730 00:55:08,377 --> 00:55:09,417 Oh! 731 00:55:15,177 --> 00:55:16,936 Hello? Is anybody there? 732 00:55:16,937 --> 00:55:18,936 Hello? 733 00:55:18,937 --> 00:55:20,417 Hello? Telephone. 734 00:55:24,697 --> 00:55:26,817 I've got no reception. Neither have I. 735 00:55:45,297 --> 00:55:46,777 What the... 736 00:55:52,417 --> 00:55:54,697 Oh... No... 737 00:56:10,057 --> 00:56:12,856 Do you think anyone's realised that we're missing? 738 00:56:12,857 --> 00:56:16,016 I just worry about my dad having his pills on him for his heart. 739 00:56:16,017 --> 00:56:18,056 There's somebody up there. 740 00:56:18,057 --> 00:56:20,417 How do you know he hasn't taken her to some hotel 741 00:56:20,418 --> 00:56:22,696 for a wild night of nudge-nudge, wink-wink? 742 00:56:22,697 --> 00:56:24,416 Where the hell are they? 743 00:56:24,417 --> 00:56:28,816 Why's the car there and them not in it? You still have to stay sober long enough 744 00:56:28,817 --> 00:56:32,616 to actually get it down in black and white. Piss off! Do you think they're dead? 745 00:56:32,617 --> 00:56:35,536 What were you doing with that dipstick? Did you torch my Land Rover? 746 00:56:35,537 --> 00:56:39,977 I'm not living with you while you're having it off with someone else. Well, you know where the door is. 747 00:56:40,379 --> 00:57:11,320 Subtitles by MemoryOnSmells http://UKsubtitles.ru.