1
00:00:01,502 --> 00:00:03,142
‐How’s your essay
going for Yale?
2
00:00:03,170 --> 00:00:04,540
Did you pick a topic yet?
3
00:00:04,571 --> 00:00:09,541
‐Um, I narrowed it down
to a few options.
4
00:00:09,576 --> 00:00:10,736
‐Maybe you could just send
the whole board
5
00:00:10,777 --> 00:00:12,207
and hope for the best.
6
00:00:12,246 --> 00:00:16,246
‐The website specifically
said not to do that.
7
00:00:16,283 --> 00:00:18,653
But I can’t get over
how well‐rounded I am.
8
00:00:18,685 --> 00:00:20,785
I mean, am I too interesting?
9
00:00:20,821 --> 00:00:23,621
‐No.
10
00:00:23,657 --> 00:00:25,987
‐Okay, look, each color
represents a different aspect
11
00:00:26,026 --> 00:00:27,726
of my life
that is essay‐worthy.
12
00:00:27,761 --> 00:00:29,731
Like, red is "Growing Up Cuban,"
13
00:00:29,763 --> 00:00:31,503
and orange is
"My Dad Abandoned Me
14
00:00:31,532 --> 00:00:34,302
But Got Into Recovery,
So We’re Cool Now,"
15
00:00:34,334 --> 00:00:37,074
and purple is just
"General Gay Stuff."
16
00:00:37,104 --> 00:00:38,944
‐Mm‐hmm.
‐General Gay Stuff
17
00:00:38,972 --> 00:00:42,982
is also my ranking
in the lesbian army.
18
00:00:43,010 --> 00:00:44,840
‐’Sup, fam?
I was just wondering
19
00:00:44,878 --> 00:00:47,308
how the planning
is coming for my quinces.
20
00:00:50,684 --> 00:00:52,854
‐What the hell
are you talking about?
21
00:00:52,886 --> 00:00:55,756
‐Oh, well, I thought that
since Elena had a quinces,
22
00:00:55,789 --> 00:00:57,419
obviously I would also
be given a party
23
00:00:57,457 --> 00:00:59,357
to celebrate my coming of age,
24
00:00:59,393 --> 00:01:01,863
this being a house
of gender equality and all.
25
00:01:04,064 --> 00:01:05,504
‐What the hell
is he talking about?
26
00:01:05,532 --> 00:01:08,872
‐Hey, on the other hand,
if it’s too much trouble,
27
00:01:08,902 --> 00:01:10,642
you can just give me
the cash instead.
28
00:01:10,671 --> 00:01:13,341
‐[ Laughing ] Oh! Okay.
29
00:01:13,373 --> 00:01:15,983
Now I understand.
You want money.
30
00:01:16,009 --> 00:01:20,149
I thought you were woke.
Turns out, you’re just broke.
31
00:01:20,180 --> 00:01:22,950
I actually love the idea
of throwing you a quinces.
32
00:01:22,983 --> 00:01:25,053
‐Ooh.
‐You do?
33
00:01:25,085 --> 00:01:26,545
‐Yeah.
34
00:01:26,587 --> 00:01:28,217
I mean, you think
it’s a special day for you,
35
00:01:28,255 --> 00:01:31,165
but, really, it’s about
what a great mom I am.
36
00:01:31,191 --> 00:01:32,961
I know you came in here
trying to scam us for money,
37
00:01:32,993 --> 00:01:35,233
but congratulations,
you played yourself.
38
00:01:35,262 --> 00:01:36,902
We’re doing this.
39
00:01:36,930 --> 00:01:40,730
‐Finally, a day
we can focus on Papito!
40
00:01:40,767 --> 00:01:42,467
‐Oh, my God.
41
00:01:42,502 --> 00:01:44,742
We’re gonna break gender norms
and have a quinceañer‐o!
42
00:01:44,771 --> 00:01:45,741
‐Whoo‐hoo!
‐I know!
43
00:01:45,772 --> 00:01:47,342
I get a mother‐son dance.
44
00:01:47,374 --> 00:01:50,144
‐And I get a mistaken‐for‐
your‐mother‐son dance!
45
00:01:50,177 --> 00:01:53,207
‐♪ Quinces, Papito, quinces ♪
46
00:01:53,246 --> 00:01:57,216
♪ Ah, ah, ah!
Quinces, Papito, quinces ♪
47
00:01:57,250 --> 00:01:58,820
♪ Ah, ah, ah! ♪
‐Whoa! Okay, no!
48
00:01:58,852 --> 00:02:00,522
Stop. I admit it.
49
00:02:00,554 --> 00:02:02,264
I don’t really want
a quinceañero.
50
00:02:02,289 --> 00:02:03,919
‐Yeah, this isn’t
about you anymore.
51
00:02:03,957 --> 00:02:06,657
♪ Quinces, Papito, quinces ♪
‐Whoo!
52
00:02:06,693 --> 00:02:08,533
‐I just need $500, okay?
53
00:02:08,562 --> 00:02:12,032
‐Uh, wha‐‐ $500?! Why?
54
00:02:12,065 --> 00:02:14,765
‐For once, can’t you just
give me $500
55
00:02:14,801 --> 00:02:17,401
without asking any questions?
56
00:02:17,437 --> 00:02:20,407
‐Papito.
What are you thinking,
57
00:02:20,440 --> 00:02:23,280
asking your mommy
for so much money?
58
00:02:23,310 --> 00:02:26,610
I’ll give it to you.
59
00:02:26,647 --> 00:02:27,947
‐You know what?
Actually, I would love
60
00:02:27,981 --> 00:02:30,651
to see you pull $500
out of there.
61
00:02:32,152 --> 00:02:34,392
‐Okay, I’m bluffing.
62
00:02:34,421 --> 00:02:36,761
I am bluffing,
but don’t worry, Papito.
63
00:02:36,790 --> 00:02:39,690
I will take it out
of my savings account.
64
00:02:39,726 --> 00:02:43,626
I just need to grab my map
and a shovel.
65
00:02:43,664 --> 00:02:45,734
‐It’s fine, Abuelita.
Forget it.
66
00:02:45,766 --> 00:02:47,326
I’m sorry I asked.
67
00:02:49,936 --> 00:02:52,066
‐Should I be worried about that?
68
00:02:52,105 --> 00:02:55,035
‐Oh, wait, I do have money!
69
00:02:57,477 --> 00:03:01,647
It’s a ketchup packet.
70
00:03:01,682 --> 00:03:02,952
♪ This is it
71
00:03:02,983 --> 00:03:04,553
♪ Oh, oh, oh, whoa
72
00:03:04,584 --> 00:03:06,654
♪ One day at a time
73
00:03:08,321 --> 00:03:09,961
‐Hey, Dr. B!
What are you doing here?
74
00:03:09,990 --> 00:03:12,490
‐I wanted to drop off
an early baby gift.
75
00:03:12,526 --> 00:03:15,426
I‐I know you’re coming by for an
ultrasound in a couple of days,
76
00:03:15,462 --> 00:03:18,972
but I wanted you guys
to have this now.
77
00:03:18,999 --> 00:03:21,829
‐Our first baby gift!
‐This is so exciting.
78
00:03:21,868 --> 00:03:23,938
‐I know.
79
00:03:23,970 --> 00:03:27,740
‐Thank you so much Dr. ‐‐ Aah!
80
00:03:27,774 --> 00:03:29,284
‐Meet Ruckus the Clown!
81
00:03:29,309 --> 00:03:30,839
He’s been in my family
for years,
82
00:03:30,877 --> 00:03:33,777
and I wanted
to pass him on to you.
83
00:03:33,814 --> 00:03:36,484
‐I bet you did.
84
00:03:36,516 --> 00:03:40,316
‐Oh, Ruckus watched over me
when I was growing up.
85
00:03:40,353 --> 00:03:44,693
He was my confidant,
he was my caretaker,
86
00:03:44,725 --> 00:03:48,335
and the best big spoon
you ever spooned.
87
00:03:52,032 --> 00:03:54,832
‐Dr. B.
[ Chuckles ]
88
00:03:54,868 --> 00:03:58,708
We couldn’t possibly
take something so...
89
00:03:58,739 --> 00:04:03,039
obviously meant for you.
‐Yeah.
90
00:04:03,076 --> 00:04:05,276
Get that guy out of here.
91
00:04:05,312 --> 00:04:07,982
Right now.
‐No, no, no, no, no.
92
00:04:08,014 --> 00:04:10,354
I‐I’ve thought about this
long and hard.
93
00:04:10,383 --> 00:04:13,793
Ruckus’ cold, pale face
is my first memory,
94
00:04:13,820 --> 00:04:16,890
and I want that for your child.
95
00:04:16,923 --> 00:04:18,663
‐I don’t...
96
00:04:18,692 --> 00:04:22,702
know what to say.
97
00:04:22,729 --> 00:04:26,499
‐I am glad that you love him
as much as I do!
98
00:04:26,533 --> 00:04:28,203
Oh.
99
00:04:28,235 --> 00:04:31,675
You know,
you guys remind me so much
100
00:04:31,705 --> 00:04:34,215
of when Sophie and I
had our first baby.
101
00:04:34,241 --> 00:04:37,881
So full of joy and hope.
102
00:04:37,911 --> 00:04:42,251
And then the baby’s born
and ‐‐ bam ‐‐ all gone.
103
00:04:42,282 --> 00:04:45,652
Hope and joy is replaced
with fear and regret.
104
00:04:45,685 --> 00:04:47,715
Oh, and then you start
turning on each other.
105
00:04:47,754 --> 00:04:50,424
And that’s when the lawyers
start circling like hyenas
106
00:04:50,457 --> 00:04:53,487
around the rotting corpse
of your relationship.
107
00:04:55,629 --> 00:04:57,629
Whoa! Got to go.
108
00:05:04,805 --> 00:05:07,415
‐Welcome home!
‐Aah!
109
00:05:07,440 --> 00:05:10,680
‐I get why she does this.
It’s a real power move.
110
00:05:10,710 --> 00:05:13,380
‐What are you doing back there?
‐I’ll ask the questions.
111
00:05:13,413 --> 00:05:15,423
Why do you need $500?
112
00:05:15,448 --> 00:05:18,848
Because I Googled "what does
a teenage boy need $500 for?"
113
00:05:18,885 --> 00:05:22,215
and it autofilled with
some really disturbing stuff.
114
00:05:22,255 --> 00:05:23,715
‐Just forget it. I’m over it.
115
00:05:23,757 --> 00:05:25,427
‐No, I’m not over it.
I’m spinning out.
116
00:05:25,458 --> 00:05:27,628
I’m thinking
"exotic pet deal gone wrong."
117
00:05:27,661 --> 00:05:30,031
I‐I went on a whole subreddit
about calf implants.
118
00:05:30,063 --> 00:05:31,763
Help me out!
119
00:05:31,798 --> 00:05:33,798
‐Oh, my God. It’s nothing bad.
120
00:05:33,834 --> 00:05:35,704
But you’re gonna think
it’s stupid.
121
00:05:35,735 --> 00:05:38,295
‐At this point, I would love
to think it’s stupid.
122
00:05:38,338 --> 00:05:40,908
‐Okay.
123
00:05:40,941 --> 00:05:44,811
I want to take a class...
124
00:05:44,845 --> 00:05:47,055
in fashion design.
125
00:05:47,080 --> 00:05:48,310
‐[ Chuckles ]
126
00:05:48,348 --> 00:05:49,648
‐See? I knew you’d think
it was stupid.
127
00:05:49,683 --> 00:05:51,753
‐No.
No, I’m just glad that we don’t
128
00:05:51,785 --> 00:05:54,925
have to give Elena’s room
to a Komodo dragon.
129
00:05:54,955 --> 00:05:57,625
No, Alex, I think that’s great.
130
00:05:57,657 --> 00:05:59,227
‐You do?
‐Yes.
131
00:05:59,259 --> 00:06:00,729
Why didn’t you
just tell me that?
132
00:06:00,760 --> 00:06:02,560
‐I don’t know.
It’s not academic,
133
00:06:02,596 --> 00:06:05,926
and I figured you might think
it’s a waste of money.
134
00:06:05,966 --> 00:06:09,036
‐It is a waste of money.
135
00:06:11,004 --> 00:06:12,314
Wait.
136
00:06:12,339 --> 00:06:15,679
Why are my curtains
already open?
137
00:06:15,709 --> 00:06:17,739
‐What do you mean?
You just opened them.
138
00:06:20,313 --> 00:06:21,913
‐Okay.
139
00:06:24,618 --> 00:06:28,488
Pero, Papito,
why pay for a class
140
00:06:28,521 --> 00:06:30,661
when the world’s
greatest seamstress
141
00:06:30,690 --> 00:06:33,490
will teach you for free?
142
00:06:33,526 --> 00:06:36,156
I’m talking about myself.
143
00:06:36,196 --> 00:06:38,126
‐Thanks, Abuelita,
but it’s actually a class
144
00:06:38,164 --> 00:06:42,104
about street style...
‐Oh, I know the streets.
145
00:06:42,135 --> 00:06:45,665
How do you think I get
to the farmers market?
146
00:06:45,705 --> 00:06:47,805
‐Mommy, help.
147
00:06:47,841 --> 00:06:49,381
‐Don’t worry, I’m not gonna
make you go through
148
00:06:49,409 --> 00:06:50,609
what I went through with her.
149
00:06:50,644 --> 00:06:52,954
‐Excuse me?
150
00:06:52,979 --> 00:06:55,349
‐Do you remember when I wanted
to take that hip‐hop class?
151
00:06:55,382 --> 00:06:57,182
You said, "Why pay for the class
152
00:06:57,217 --> 00:07:00,447
when the world’s greatest dancer
can teach for you free?
153
00:07:00,487 --> 00:07:02,787
I’m talking about myself."
154
00:07:02,822 --> 00:07:04,222
‐I did teach you.
155
00:07:04,257 --> 00:07:07,787
‐There are no castanets
in hip‐hop, Mami!
156
00:07:07,827 --> 00:07:11,997
‐Well, if there were,
it would be popular.
157
00:07:12,032 --> 00:07:14,232
Papito.
158
00:07:14,267 --> 00:07:17,537
Imagine you and me
wearing matching
159
00:07:17,570 --> 00:07:23,180
homemade street outfits.
160
00:07:23,209 --> 00:07:26,009
‐I am definitely imagining it.
161
00:07:26,046 --> 00:07:28,206
‐Don’t worry, Alex,
you can take the class.
162
00:07:28,248 --> 00:07:30,348
But I’m not giving you
the money.
163
00:07:30,383 --> 00:07:34,553
I am investing in the future
of fashion, which is you.
164
00:07:34,587 --> 00:07:36,657
Oh, I can’t wait to see you on
"Project Runway."
165
00:07:36,690 --> 00:07:38,190
Not as a contestant, as a judge.
166
00:07:38,224 --> 00:07:40,094
’Cause that’s how we do.
167
00:07:40,126 --> 00:07:42,056
Oh, plus I’m gonna look
fly as hell, so I’m in!
168
00:07:42,095 --> 00:07:43,405
‐Oh, my God.
169
00:07:43,430 --> 00:07:45,930
Thank you so much, Mami.
You’re the best.
170
00:07:49,936 --> 00:07:52,036
‐Well...
171
00:07:52,072 --> 00:07:57,882
I’ll get my needle and thread
so I can mend my broken heart.
172
00:07:57,911 --> 00:07:59,611
Do you what you need
to do, Mami.
173
00:07:59,646 --> 00:08:01,376
I have made up my mind.
174
00:08:01,414 --> 00:08:03,184
Alex is taking the class.
175
00:08:03,216 --> 00:08:04,816
iY ya!
176
00:08:06,419 --> 00:08:09,019
I love this.
177
00:08:09,055 --> 00:08:10,409
‐What the hell is going on?
178
00:08:17,141 --> 00:08:18,497
‐Oh, there’s my little genius.
179
00:08:18,531 --> 00:08:19,501
How’s the essay going?
180
00:08:19,532 --> 00:08:21,872
‐I’ve got nothing!
181
00:08:21,901 --> 00:08:23,341
‐What? This looks great.
182
00:08:23,370 --> 00:08:24,670
You’re just a ball of red yarn
183
00:08:24,704 --> 00:08:27,744
away from cracking
this murder case.
184
00:08:27,774 --> 00:08:29,414
‐No, I stayed up all night
185
00:08:29,442 --> 00:08:30,912
writing 15 different essays,
186
00:08:30,944 --> 00:08:32,954
only to discover
that all of them sucked!
187
00:08:32,979 --> 00:08:34,579
I need Yale to fall in love
with me,
188
00:08:34,614 --> 00:08:38,054
and this will just make them
file a restraining order.
189
00:08:38,084 --> 00:08:39,754
‐Ohh, I’m sure it’ll be fine.
‐Fine?
190
00:08:39,786 --> 00:08:41,016
‐Yeah.
‐Oh, well, I should just
191
00:08:41,054 --> 00:08:43,464
get my GED
and start backpacking.
192
00:08:45,725 --> 00:08:48,555
Okay, maybe I’ll go back
to my first idea
193
00:08:48,595 --> 00:08:50,735
about how I want to put
the "I" in "environmental."
194
00:08:50,764 --> 00:08:54,634
‐I think you put the "mental"
in "environmental."
195
00:08:54,667 --> 00:08:58,437
‐Can’t even tell if
that’s a good idea or not.
196
00:08:58,471 --> 00:09:00,241
Okay, yeah, no, I’m fine.
197
00:09:00,273 --> 00:09:03,483
Chaos is part of my process.
198
00:09:03,510 --> 00:09:04,780
‐Hey.
199
00:09:04,811 --> 00:09:06,151
‐Hey, how was
your fashion class?
200
00:09:06,179 --> 00:09:07,709
When does your line come out
201
00:09:07,747 --> 00:09:10,077
so I can buy it a year later
at Nordstrom Rack?
202
00:09:10,116 --> 00:09:14,286
‐Yes, tell us what
the strangers taught you.
203
00:09:14,320 --> 00:09:15,620
‐Show us, come on.
‐Okay.
204
00:09:15,655 --> 00:09:17,415
It’s just a simple pair
of shorts,
205
00:09:17,457 --> 00:09:22,397
and it’s my first project,
so don’t get too excited.
206
00:09:22,429 --> 00:09:24,029
‐Aah! Alex!
207
00:09:26,633 --> 00:09:28,973
This is really good!
‐Thanks.
208
00:09:29,002 --> 00:09:30,502
‐I mean, I knew you were
crushing it,
209
00:09:30,537 --> 00:09:32,937
but, damn, my investment
is paying off already.
210
00:09:32,972 --> 00:09:34,642
Mami, didn’t he do a great job?
211
00:09:34,674 --> 00:09:38,514
‐Well, I wouldn’t call it
a "street style."
212
00:09:40,313 --> 00:09:43,683
You know who wouldn’t
be caught dead in these?
213
00:09:43,716 --> 00:09:45,376
Dr. Ake.
214
00:09:48,354 --> 00:09:49,924
‐Do you mean Dr. Dre?
215
00:09:49,956 --> 00:09:51,816
‐Do you mean Drake?
216
00:09:54,494 --> 00:09:57,364
‐I said what I said.
217
00:09:57,397 --> 00:09:58,927
‐Keep up the great work.
218
00:09:58,965 --> 00:10:01,265
Nice job, and next week,
I’d like to see a skirt
219
00:10:01,301 --> 00:10:03,501
for your mother, the woman
that made this all possible.
220
00:10:03,536 --> 00:10:05,836
‐I’ll see what I can do.
‐Okay.
221
00:10:08,475 --> 00:10:11,945
Mami, you got to admit,
this is pretty good.
222
00:10:11,978 --> 00:10:13,578
‐I admit nothing.
223
00:10:15,715 --> 00:10:18,515
It’s obvious he got
his talent from me.
224
00:10:18,551 --> 00:10:22,221
Good clean lines,
good stitching,
225
00:10:22,255 --> 00:10:23,995
"made in China."
226
00:10:24,023 --> 00:10:26,533
How far away is this class?
227
00:10:31,097 --> 00:10:33,027
‐Alex didn’t make these.
228
00:10:33,066 --> 00:10:34,496
He lied to us.
229
00:10:34,534 --> 00:10:36,844
‐It’s worse than you think.
230
00:10:36,870 --> 00:10:38,540
"Dry‐clean only."
231
00:10:52,018 --> 00:10:55,888
‐Please tell me
that’s your hand on my butt.
232
00:10:55,922 --> 00:10:58,362
‐I was just thinking about
what Dr. B said.
233
00:10:58,391 --> 00:10:59,691
‐Oh, my God. Me too.
234
00:10:59,726 --> 00:11:01,886
Do you actually think
he expects us
235
00:11:01,928 --> 00:11:05,428
to follow
these bath‐time instructions?
236
00:11:05,465 --> 00:11:06,935
‐No, I was thinking about
how he said
237
00:11:06,966 --> 00:11:08,826
his marriage fell apart
after kids.
238
00:11:08,868 --> 00:11:14,068
‐Oh, yeah,
that freaked me out, too.
239
00:11:14,107 --> 00:11:16,437
But that’s not us.
240
00:11:16,476 --> 00:11:18,276
We’re totally in love.
241
00:11:18,311 --> 00:11:20,481
We’ve never even had one fight.
242
00:11:22,582 --> 00:11:24,182
‐You’re right.
243
00:11:28,254 --> 00:11:29,894
‐Why don’t I get this guy
out of here?
244
00:11:29,923 --> 00:11:32,563
‐Yes. Oh, God!
245
00:11:32,592 --> 00:11:35,032
I have been waiting for you
to say that.
246
00:11:35,061 --> 00:11:36,901
Oh, just make sure no one
sees it in the trash.
247
00:11:36,930 --> 00:11:38,300
I don’t want it to
get back to Dr. B
248
00:11:38,331 --> 00:11:39,631
and hurt his feelings.
249
00:11:39,666 --> 00:11:41,796
‐Uh...why would I
put him in the trash?
250
00:11:41,834 --> 00:11:45,644
I’m taking him
to the baby’s room.
251
00:11:45,672 --> 00:11:47,142
‐What?
252
00:11:47,173 --> 00:11:49,413
Oh, you’re kidding.
253
00:11:49,442 --> 00:11:53,552
It’s ‐‐ You ‐‐ Wait, what?
254
00:11:53,580 --> 00:11:55,410
‐This guy’s awesome.
255
00:11:55,448 --> 00:11:57,778
I can’t believe Dr. B
was willing to part with him.
256
00:11:57,817 --> 00:11:59,947
Honestly, I feel safer.
257
00:12:01,921 --> 00:12:05,121
‐You are not putting that thing
near our baby’s crib.
258
00:12:05,158 --> 00:12:06,628
‐’Course not. You heard the doc.
259
00:12:06,659 --> 00:12:09,599
He’s a spooner.
He needs to be in the crib.
260
00:12:09,629 --> 00:12:13,269
‐He’s a creepy serial‐killer
doll with polka‐dot pants.
261
00:12:13,299 --> 00:12:15,799
And he smells like cheese!
262
00:12:15,835 --> 00:12:17,895
‐He smells like love!
263
00:12:17,937 --> 00:12:20,967
And a little bit like Camembert.
264
00:12:21,007 --> 00:12:22,977
‐Are we really having
our first fight over a ‐‐
265
00:12:23,009 --> 00:12:24,979
over a stupid antique clown?!
266
00:12:25,011 --> 00:12:28,181
‐No, we’re having our first
fight over my new best friend!
267
00:12:28,214 --> 00:12:31,754
Come on, Ruckus.
268
00:12:31,784 --> 00:12:34,154
Ohh!
Buddy, are you okay?
269
00:12:34,187 --> 00:12:35,717
‐He’s not real!
270
00:12:42,620 --> 00:12:44,162
‐Hey, bud.
271
00:12:44,197 --> 00:12:46,497
I just want to say one more time
great job.
272
00:12:46,532 --> 00:12:48,672
Really professional.
273
00:12:48,701 --> 00:12:51,841
Like something you’d find
in a store.
274
00:12:51,871 --> 00:12:54,341
‐Thanks. You know,
it took a lot out of me.
275
00:12:54,374 --> 00:12:56,084
So I’m just gonna take a nap.
276
00:12:58,678 --> 00:13:01,178
‐Yeah, you thought
of every detail.
277
00:13:01,214 --> 00:13:03,584
I mean, even a receipt.
‐You found the receipt?
278
00:13:03,616 --> 00:13:05,816
‐Well, now I don’t have to.
279
00:13:05,852 --> 00:13:07,192
If you were really
taking the class,
280
00:13:07,220 --> 00:13:08,850
I’d have you make me
a trench coat,
281
00:13:08,888 --> 00:13:11,258
’cause I’m freaking McGruff.
Ruff ruff, ya busted!
282
00:13:13,393 --> 00:13:14,693
‐I’m sorry. I can explain.
283
00:13:14,727 --> 00:13:17,797
‐Yeah, you better
’cause you lied to me.
284
00:13:17,830 --> 00:13:19,330
‐I quit the class.
285
00:13:19,365 --> 00:13:21,465
I‐I decided I didn’t want
to go anymore.
286
00:13:21,501 --> 00:13:22,641
[ Sighs ]
287
00:13:22,669 --> 00:13:24,739
And don’t worry, I got a refund.
288
00:13:24,771 --> 00:13:26,441
‐Well, why didn’t you
just tell me that?
289
00:13:26,472 --> 00:13:27,672
I wouldn’t make you
keep going to the class
290
00:13:27,707 --> 00:13:29,477
if I knew you hated it.
291
00:13:29,509 --> 00:13:31,279
I’m not Abuelita pounding
out the counts to "No Diggity"
292
00:13:31,311 --> 00:13:32,911
with her chancletas.
293
00:13:34,881 --> 00:13:37,851
‐I didn’t hate it.
294
00:13:37,884 --> 00:13:39,854
I loved it.
295
00:13:42,455 --> 00:13:44,995
‐Okay, now I don’t know
what’s going on.
296
00:13:45,024 --> 00:13:48,464
‐I loved it, but I sucked at it,
so I quit.
297
00:13:48,494 --> 00:13:49,964
And I bought the stupid shorts
298
00:13:49,996 --> 00:13:52,256
so I wouldn’t have to have
this conversation.
299
00:13:52,298 --> 00:13:53,998
‐So what was your plan?
300
00:13:54,033 --> 00:13:55,973
You were just gonna keep buying
clothes until I showed up
301
00:13:56,002 --> 00:13:59,712
to a fake graduation,
looking fantastic?
302
00:13:59,739 --> 00:14:02,109
‐I’m not saying
it was a good plan,
303
00:14:02,141 --> 00:14:03,341
but that was the plan.
304
00:14:06,012 --> 00:14:08,452
‐Alex, relax.
305
00:14:08,481 --> 00:14:10,381
You only took one class.
306
00:14:10,416 --> 00:14:11,876
It’s okay not to be perfect.
307
00:14:11,918 --> 00:14:13,388
‐Not in this family.
308
00:14:13,419 --> 00:14:15,349
I mean,
everyone here is "killing it"
309
00:14:15,388 --> 00:14:18,718
and "a badass" and "a strong
independent woman."
310
00:14:21,227 --> 00:14:23,227
Abuelita came to this country
with nothing,
311
00:14:23,262 --> 00:14:25,132
made a whole life for herself.
312
00:14:25,164 --> 00:14:28,834
You’re a military veteran whose
job is literally saving lives.
313
00:14:28,868 --> 00:14:30,798
Elena is gonna get into
every Ivy League school
314
00:14:30,837 --> 00:14:34,407
and become the first
doctor‐lawyer president.
315
00:14:34,440 --> 00:14:36,310
I’m just a dude
with a great smile.
316
00:14:36,342 --> 00:14:38,382
‐Come on, you’re good
at a lot of stuff.
317
00:14:38,411 --> 00:14:39,881
‐Not fashion.
318
00:14:39,912 --> 00:14:41,912
I mean, everybody else
made a pair of shorts.
319
00:14:41,948 --> 00:14:43,218
I spent the whole class
trying to thread
320
00:14:43,249 --> 00:14:44,719
the stupid sewing machine.
321
00:14:44,751 --> 00:14:46,191
I mean, I stabbed my finger
with the needle
322
00:14:46,219 --> 00:14:48,089
so many times
that I needed stitches,
323
00:14:48,121 --> 00:14:49,761
but I didn’t know
how to do them.
324
00:14:49,789 --> 00:14:53,259
‐Oh, baby.
325
00:14:53,292 --> 00:14:58,362
‐So I figured that,
if I’m not gonna be great,
326
00:14:58,398 --> 00:15:00,868
it’s better not to do it, right?
327
00:15:00,900 --> 00:15:03,600
‐No, you got to keep doing it.
328
00:15:03,636 --> 00:15:05,066
‐But you already said
I could quit.
329
00:15:05,104 --> 00:15:06,274
‐Yeah, that’s when I thought
you hated it.
330
00:15:06,305 --> 00:15:07,765
But now that I know you love it,
331
00:15:07,807 --> 00:15:11,107
I expect you to work
until you’re miserable.
332
00:15:11,144 --> 00:15:12,684
You can’t be afraid to fail.
333
00:15:12,712 --> 00:15:15,412
What, do you think
I’m gonna love you any less
334
00:15:15,448 --> 00:15:16,948
because you’re not perfect?
335
00:15:16,983 --> 00:15:20,453
‐I mean,
I’d rather not find out.
336
00:15:20,486 --> 00:15:22,516
‐Oh, love.
337
00:15:22,555 --> 00:15:23,865
I’m sorry.
338
00:15:23,890 --> 00:15:27,460
I never meant to make you
feel that way.
339
00:15:27,493 --> 00:15:30,803
Look at me.
340
00:15:30,830 --> 00:15:33,430
It’s okay to be bad
at some things.
341
00:15:33,466 --> 00:15:35,366
Dare to suck!
342
00:15:35,401 --> 00:15:37,471
It’s the first step
to getting good.
343
00:15:37,503 --> 00:15:38,703
And if you love
the fashion thing,
344
00:15:38,738 --> 00:15:40,608
you have to keep going back
345
00:15:40,640 --> 00:15:44,580
and not be afraid
to be bad at it for awhile.
346
00:15:44,610 --> 00:15:46,480
Because you’ll get better.
347
00:15:46,512 --> 00:15:48,282
We’re all learning.
348
00:15:48,314 --> 00:15:51,484
It’s a process.
349
00:15:51,517 --> 00:15:53,587
‐Okay. Thanks, Mom.
350
00:15:53,619 --> 00:15:56,259
I’ll go back to the class.
‐Mm.
351
00:15:56,289 --> 00:15:58,989
‐What’s going on?
I heard voices.
352
00:15:59,025 --> 00:16:00,895
Oh, wait.
353
00:16:00,927 --> 00:16:03,357
They’re not coming from in here.
354
00:16:06,532 --> 00:16:07,932
‐Is this fire out?
355
00:16:07,967 --> 00:16:11,137
’Cause mama’s got
a real inferno over there.
356
00:16:11,170 --> 00:16:14,170
‐Are you insane?
357
00:16:14,207 --> 00:16:17,637
Peanut butter is not healthier
than almond butter.
358
00:16:17,677 --> 00:16:20,077
‐Tell that to the bees, who work
their little fingers to the bone
359
00:16:20,112 --> 00:16:23,652
so that you can have
your precious "ABandJ."
360
00:16:23,683 --> 00:16:26,693
You want to have a butter fight,
let’s have a butter fight!
361
00:16:26,719 --> 00:16:28,989
[ Knock on door ]
‐Hey, kids.
362
00:16:29,021 --> 00:16:30,661
Are we ready for the ultrasound?
363
00:16:30,690 --> 00:16:31,990
‐You "butter" believe it.
364
00:16:32,024 --> 00:16:34,264
‐Oh, don’t you dare.
365
00:16:34,293 --> 00:16:35,693
‐You’re the one
who bought almond butter.
366
00:16:35,728 --> 00:16:37,298
I didn’t even get a chance
to weigh in.
367
00:16:37,330 --> 00:16:39,100
‐Well, next time, you can do
the online shopping.
368
00:16:39,131 --> 00:16:41,771
I’m exhausted.
‐But ‐‐ You’re exhausted?
369
00:16:43,302 --> 00:16:45,172
‐There’s your baby.
370
00:16:47,373 --> 00:16:49,383
‐Oh, my God.
371
00:16:52,044 --> 00:16:55,554
That’s our baby.
372
00:16:55,581 --> 00:17:01,951
It’s the most beautiful,
tiniest blob I’ve ever seen.
373
00:17:01,988 --> 00:17:03,718
I’m sorry for everything.
374
00:17:03,756 --> 00:17:05,616
‐And I’m sorry, too.
375
00:17:07,894 --> 00:17:10,904
‐Oh, look at you two.
376
00:17:10,930 --> 00:17:13,670
If my marriage had one ounce
of this love,
377
00:17:13,699 --> 00:17:18,169
Sophie and I might still
just be separated.
378
00:17:18,204 --> 00:17:20,374
‐To be honest, Dr. B,
we’ve been on edge
379
00:17:20,406 --> 00:17:21,836
since you came over
the other day
380
00:17:21,874 --> 00:17:24,184
and told us how kids
ruined your marriage.
381
00:17:24,210 --> 00:17:26,680
‐Oh, yeah. I ‐‐ [ Laughs ]
382
00:17:26,712 --> 00:17:28,382
I totally misremembered that.
383
00:17:28,414 --> 00:17:30,424
No, no, no.
384
00:17:30,449 --> 00:17:33,089
Things didn’t go downhill
after we had kids.
385
00:17:33,119 --> 00:17:38,089
It was after my wife
slept with her podiatrist.
386
00:17:38,124 --> 00:17:41,534
Ah, ironically,
he swept her off her feet.
387
00:17:41,561 --> 00:17:43,101
‐What the hell, doc?
388
00:17:43,129 --> 00:17:45,499
We’ve been fighting all week
since you said that.
389
00:17:45,531 --> 00:17:47,231
‐Well, that’s just crazy.
390
00:17:47,266 --> 00:17:49,436
You two are perfect
for each other.
391
00:17:49,468 --> 00:17:53,068
And your baby’s perfect, too.
392
00:17:53,105 --> 00:17:55,835
‐Ooh, can you tell
whether it’s a boy or a girl?
393
00:17:55,875 --> 00:17:58,515
‐Yes, of course.
I’m a doctor.
394
00:18:07,987 --> 00:18:10,617
‐Sort of did want to know.
395
00:18:10,656 --> 00:18:13,056
Hey, but maybe
it’d be fun not to.
396
00:18:13,092 --> 00:18:14,962
‐You know, I agree.
397
00:18:14,994 --> 00:18:18,204
‐I’m sorry I got so worked up
about Ruckus.
398
00:18:18,230 --> 00:18:19,400
I was such a lonely kid,
399
00:18:19,432 --> 00:18:21,932
I‐I would’ve loved
to have a buddy.
400
00:18:21,968 --> 00:18:23,798
Any buddy.
401
00:18:23,836 --> 00:18:26,836
‐Now you have a buddy ‐‐ me.
402
00:18:28,374 --> 00:18:33,054
And our baby doesn’t need
a creepy stuffed companion.
403
00:18:33,079 --> 00:18:35,509
’Cause they’ll have us.
404
00:18:35,548 --> 00:18:37,718
[ Both laugh ]
405
00:18:40,820 --> 00:18:42,720
[ Gasps ] We did it!
406
00:18:42,755 --> 00:18:46,335
We get through our first fight!
407
00:18:46,359 --> 00:18:49,289
‐I can’t believe I’m saying
this, but thank you, Ruckus?
408
00:18:49,328 --> 00:18:51,058
‐Yeah.
409
00:18:51,097 --> 00:18:53,867
You know what the best way
to thank him might be?
410
00:18:56,802 --> 00:18:59,042
‐Hey, Penelope,
you change your hair?
411
00:19:03,709 --> 00:19:06,309
Ruckus?
412
00:19:06,345 --> 00:19:08,805
"I’m sick. Homesick."
413
00:19:08,848 --> 00:19:12,078
Oh, I miss you, too, old fella.
414
00:19:18,024 --> 00:19:22,294
‐[ Coughs ]
415
00:19:22,328 --> 00:19:24,358
‐Mami, you think a sign
is gonna stop me.
416
00:19:24,397 --> 00:19:26,427
I’m parked in a loading zone
right now.
417
00:19:29,035 --> 00:19:31,545
‐Okay. Class was great.
418
00:19:31,570 --> 00:19:33,210
And...
419
00:19:33,239 --> 00:19:35,709
this one I really made.
420
00:19:35,741 --> 00:19:37,111
‐It’s good!
You did good!
421
00:19:37,143 --> 00:19:39,043
You see?
This is how you get better.
422
00:19:39,078 --> 00:19:41,708
‐And I decided,
if I cannot be your teacher,
423
00:19:41,747 --> 00:19:43,277
I will be your model.
424
00:19:43,315 --> 00:19:45,315
I already slapped
Naomi Campbell,
425
00:19:45,351 --> 00:19:47,191
but that’s a story
for another time.
426
00:19:51,724 --> 00:19:56,064
‐Pin a medal
on General Gay Stuff!
427
00:19:56,095 --> 00:19:58,365
I finally wrote
the perfect college essay.
428
00:19:58,397 --> 00:20:00,727
My adviser said it was the best
one she’s read in years.
429
00:20:00,766 --> 00:20:02,796
‐That’s amazing, honey!
Congratulations!
430
00:20:02,835 --> 00:20:03,905
You see, look at us!
431
00:20:03,936 --> 00:20:06,066
We’re all killing it.
432
00:20:06,105 --> 00:20:07,975
Although, I’m gonna tell you,
Alex, I’m a little bummed
433
00:20:08,007 --> 00:20:10,207
about us
not having a quinceañero.
434
00:20:10,242 --> 00:20:11,682
Mostly because I was really
looking forward
435
00:20:11,711 --> 00:20:13,381
to that mother‐son dance.
436
00:20:13,412 --> 00:20:14,582
But, um...
437
00:20:14,613 --> 00:20:18,053
[ Cool jazz music plays ]
Uh‐oh.
438
00:20:18,084 --> 00:20:20,254
Is there one starting now?
439
00:20:20,286 --> 00:20:22,316
‐Alright.
I guess you deserve this.
440
00:20:22,354 --> 00:20:26,434
‐Mm, this and you’re gonna make
me one of these cool jackets.
441
00:20:26,459 --> 00:20:30,099
‐♪ You know it might be
442
00:20:30,129 --> 00:20:33,429
‐Lucky for you,
I can also rock a vest.
443
00:20:33,466 --> 00:20:34,766
Lupita!
‐What?
444
00:20:34,800 --> 00:20:37,140
‐You are getting a ticket!
‐Oh, crap!
445
00:20:40,606 --> 00:20:44,106
‐There is no ticket.
446
00:20:44,143 --> 00:20:48,453
‐♪ If someone’s jealous,
I don’t care about them ♪
447
00:20:48,481 --> 00:20:50,781
♪ I used to study you from...
448
00:20:50,816 --> 00:20:50,916
♪