1 00:00:22,481 --> 00:00:25,317 Habari, huyu ni Redban moja kwa moja kutoka Kituo cha Moody, 2 00:00:25,400 --> 00:00:30,948 kutoka Austin, Texas, kufanya kazi katika kipindi kipya cha Kill Tony! 3 00:00:31,031 --> 00:00:33,951 Tafadhali mpigie kura Tony Hinchcliffe! 4 00:00:48,215 --> 00:00:51,385 Nani yuko tayari kwa usiku bora zaidi wa maisha yao? 5 00:01:00,602 --> 00:01:03,480 Brian Redban, watazamaji wazuri. -Afya! 6 00:01:04,606 --> 00:01:09,236 Hebu tuonyeshe neema zaidi kwa bendi bora zaidi nchini. 7 00:01:10,404 --> 00:01:12,614 Muumba. 8 00:01:12,698 --> 00:01:17,286 Hapa tena, tuko busy kufanya kazi. Hujambo Austin, Texas? 9 00:01:19,496 --> 00:01:24,751 Ni vizuri kuwa nyumbani. Sio poa? 10 00:01:24,835 --> 00:01:29,715 Tunayo onyesho la kuzimu mbele yetu. Itakuwa usiku mzuri sana. 11 00:01:29,798 --> 00:01:33,218 Ni wangapi kati yenu waliosafiri hapa kutoka nchi ya mbali? 12 00:01:34,428 --> 00:01:38,098 Karibu. Ni wangapi kati yenu unaishi austin texas? 13 00:01:39,433 --> 00:01:44,855 Lazima tu. Uchumi unakua huko Austin, kama kawaida. 14 00:01:44,938 --> 00:01:47,441 Leo kutakuwa na furaha nyingi. 15 00:01:47,524 --> 00:01:54,281 Hakuna matangazo au wafadhili. Tuko kwenye Netflix usiku wa leo. 16 00:01:55,407 --> 00:01:56,617 Jinsi ya kusisimua. 17 00:01:59,494 --> 00:02:02,956 Nadhani tunaweza tu kuanza. 18 00:02:03,040 --> 00:02:04,958 Sioni sababu ya kusubiri. 19 00:02:05,042 --> 00:02:08,754 Tuna programu nyingi, kwa hivyo tuanze na kishindo. 20 00:02:08,837 --> 00:02:12,132 Nitamtambulisha mwanajopo wa kwanza. 21 00:02:13,508 --> 00:02:15,218 Yeye ni mmoja wa bora - 22 00:02:15,302 --> 00:02:18,847 iliyotazamwa zaidi mwaka Na Netflix maalum. 23 00:02:18,930 --> 00:02:23,560 Tukutane Fluffy yaani Gabriel Iglesias, watazamaji wazuri. 24 00:02:24,311 --> 00:02:25,854 Furahi sasa. 25 00:02:38,158 --> 00:02:39,868 Amerudi. 26 00:02:40,827 --> 00:02:42,663 Anajulikana na kupendwa. 27 00:02:42,746 --> 00:02:47,084 Fluffy mwenyewe wa Texas! -Inaendeleaje, Austin? 28 00:02:51,922 --> 00:02:53,048 Kushangaza. 29 00:02:53,131 --> 00:02:57,594 Karibu tena. Je, inaendeleaje? - Hii ni ya kushangaza. Heri ya mwaka mpya! 30 00:03:00,889 --> 00:03:05,727 Tunayo leo show ya pori na maalum sana. 31 00:03:05,811 --> 00:03:10,649 Unaanza na tatu pamoja nasi. 32 00:03:10,732 --> 00:03:13,443 Wewe, mimi na Redban. - Sisi watatu tu. 33 00:03:13,527 --> 00:03:15,654 Tuna… - Hiyo ilikuwa nzuri sana, sivyo? 34 00:03:15,737 --> 00:03:17,739 Hukukisia. "Anaweza kuimba!" 35 00:03:17,823 --> 00:03:20,909 Wakati nimelewa. -Sauti yako ni nzuri na miguu yako ni laini. 36 00:03:20,992 --> 00:03:23,912 Nawakumbuka mara ya mwisho, ulipokuwa mgeni. 37 00:03:23,995 --> 00:03:28,542 Sasa nitatoa tangazo maalum. Mashabiki wetu wagumu wanaweza kujua, 38 00:03:28,625 --> 00:03:32,295 hiyo tu kwenye bustani ya Madison Square tulikuwa na ndoo ya hadithi. 39 00:03:32,379 --> 00:03:35,298 Leo iko hapa, 40 00:03:35,382 --> 00:03:38,468 kwa mara ya kwanza nje ya New York. 41 00:03:38,969 --> 00:03:43,223 Nilifanikiwa kuileta. Nitachora jina kutoka kwa ndoo ya hadithi, 42 00:03:43,306 --> 00:03:48,729 na moja ya historia ya Kill Tony wa wachekeshaji bora zaidi huvuta seti kwa ajili yetu. 43 00:03:48,812 --> 00:03:52,274 Kisha anajiunga na jopo. Je, hiyo inasikika vizuri? 44 00:03:54,401 --> 00:03:56,319 Naam, tuanze basi. 45 00:03:56,403 --> 00:03:59,114 Watazamaji wapendwa, hadithi ya kwanza usiku wa leo ... 46 00:03:59,197 --> 00:04:02,492 Haleluya, fanya kelele kubwa, 47 00:04:02,576 --> 00:04:08,248 kwa sababu Roseanne Barr, kihalisi "mbuzi", ni ijayo. 48 00:04:24,431 --> 00:04:26,308 Tony, habari. 49 00:04:30,187 --> 00:04:32,981 Habari, Austin, Texas! 50 00:04:35,108 --> 00:04:38,445 Safi sana, Texas! 51 00:04:38,528 --> 00:04:43,325 Nilihamia hapa miaka mitatu na nusu iliyopita. Naipenda sana Texas. 52 00:04:43,408 --> 00:04:45,994 Unaweza kutembea kila mahali na bunduki. 53 00:04:46,077 --> 00:04:51,041 Unaweza kumpiga mtu yeyote na chochote kwa maudhui ya moyo wako. 54 00:04:51,541 --> 00:04:52,876 Jamani sana! 55 00:04:56,505 --> 00:04:57,923 Ninapenda mahali hapa. 56 00:04:58,423 --> 00:05:00,759 Nakupenda, Roseanne! - Na mimi wewe. 57 00:05:01,301 --> 00:05:06,223 Asante, Tony, kwa kunialika kufanya kitu kwa dakika tatu, 58 00:05:06,306 --> 00:05:09,559 ambayo sijafanya tangu zamani. 59 00:05:09,643 --> 00:05:14,314 Sikujua hata kama ningekumbukwa tena. 60 00:05:18,610 --> 00:05:22,239 Asanteni nyote. ninapotoka 61 00:05:22,322 --> 00:05:26,409 watu mara nyingi hufikiri kwamba mimi ni Rosie O'Donnell. 62 00:05:26,493 --> 00:05:31,164 sijui kwanini lakini hutokea mara nyingi kabisa. 63 00:05:31,748 --> 00:05:33,708 Inanisumbua pia. 64 00:05:33,792 --> 00:05:37,754 Wanasema: "Halo Rosie, pia mpenzi wangu. 65 00:05:38,296 --> 00:05:41,633 Tunakukumbuka kwenye The View. 66 00:05:42,926 --> 00:05:47,264 Uko sahihi. Chuki Trump. Yeye ni fashisti." 67 00:05:49,015 --> 00:05:50,559 Inanihuzunisha. 68 00:05:50,642 --> 00:05:57,107 Nikawaza, “Mimi si mtoto ni nani ufa kahaba na jela. 69 00:06:06,992 --> 00:06:10,620 Kuzimu nayo. Namuunga mkono Trump. 70 00:06:14,958 --> 00:06:18,128 Mimi ndiye napenda dick. 71 00:06:23,675 --> 00:06:26,928 Nimekuwa nikipenda dicks kila wakati. 72 00:06:32,684 --> 00:06:35,353 Kila aina ya dicks. 73 00:06:37,939 --> 00:06:43,153 Nina mizunguko yote duniani na nilipenda kila mmoja. 74 00:06:44,487 --> 00:06:47,449 Mimi ni shabiki wa mbwembwe. 75 00:06:49,910 --> 00:06:50,994 Sio shida. 76 00:06:51,077 --> 00:06:56,541 Tatizo ni kile kinachomzunguka Dick. 77 00:06:56,625 --> 00:07:00,921 Sehemu hizo nyingine zote za mwili. 78 00:07:01,004 --> 00:07:06,509 Seli za shina pia zilidumishwa. Ilikuwa ni tatizo. 79 00:07:06,593 --> 00:07:10,889 Wengine wanasema nimekata tamaa sana kwa ajili ya Dick. 80 00:07:12,933 --> 00:07:15,393 Kulikuwa na talaka tatu. Nilifilisika. 81 00:07:16,311 --> 00:07:19,272 Labda nilipenda sana kama unajua ninachomaanisha. 82 00:07:24,402 --> 00:07:28,531 Mimi ni dhibitisho kwamba unaweza kuifanya mwenyewe kunyonya na kutomba hadi matope ya chini. 83 00:07:36,831 --> 00:07:41,753 siwezi kusubiri, kwamba naweza kuifanya tena! 84 00:07:45,090 --> 00:07:48,969 Mungu ibariki Marekani na Kuua Tonya. 85 00:07:51,304 --> 00:07:53,765 Roseanne Barr, watazamaji wazuri. 86 00:07:53,848 --> 00:07:56,476 Roseanne, jiunge nasi. 87 00:07:59,396 --> 00:08:01,398 Roseanne Barr, 88 00:08:01,481 --> 00:08:08,196 hadithi ambaye mara nyingi alitembelea programu, moja ya bora milele. 89 00:08:08,279 --> 00:08:11,491 Unajua jinsi programu inavyofanya kazi. Nilichagua jina. 90 00:08:11,574 --> 00:08:13,785 Hebu tumpe Roseanne kidole gumba kingine. 91 00:08:17,998 --> 00:08:20,291 Ninachagua jina kutoka kwa ndoo ya kawaida. 92 00:08:20,375 --> 00:08:23,086 Unajua jina la kitu hicho. Wanapata sekunde 60. 93 00:08:23,169 --> 00:08:27,257 Muda umekwisha unaposikia paka. Kisha unapaswa kuacha - 94 00:08:27,340 --> 00:08:30,010 au kutolewa nje dubu wa Hollywood Magharibi. 95 00:08:31,052 --> 00:08:33,555 Ni hayo tu. Nitawahoji baada ya hadithi. 96 00:08:33,638 --> 00:08:37,475 Wanapata kushughulikia jopo. Uko tayari kwa onyesho hili mbaya? 97 00:08:39,060 --> 00:08:45,734 Tusianzishe ulimwengu wa Kill Tony na mgeni mpya wa kawaida? 98 00:08:45,817 --> 00:08:50,572 Watazamaji wapendwa, Atlantan "dhoruba ya giza" iko hapa. 99 00:08:50,655 --> 00:08:55,785 Hii ni Mchezo wa kwanza wa uwanja wa Dedrick Flynn. 100 00:09:04,377 --> 00:09:06,588 Dedrick! 101 00:09:09,257 --> 00:09:10,175 Jamani. 102 00:09:10,800 --> 00:09:15,597 Ilinibidi kuruka kutoka Atlanta, Georgia - 103 00:09:15,680 --> 00:09:18,975 Ili kuwasili Provo, Utah. 104 00:09:19,059 --> 00:09:23,480 Haikuwa uzoefu mzuri, kwa sababu ndege pekee - 105 00:09:23,563 --> 00:09:28,234 Aliondoka Atlanta kuelekea Utah saa tano asubuhi, 106 00:09:28,318 --> 00:09:31,112 kwa sababu hawataki kwenda huko watu kutoka Atlanta. 107 00:09:33,782 --> 00:09:36,868 Nilipigia simu Uber saa tatu asubuhi. 108 00:09:36,951 --> 00:09:41,539 Ilichukua saa moja kufika huko, kwa sababu aliendesha njia ya ajabu. 109 00:09:41,623 --> 00:09:44,667 Nilitaka kughairi Uber. 110 00:09:45,376 --> 00:09:46,669 Nilitaka kuighairi, 111 00:09:46,753 --> 00:09:51,758 lakini alikubali tamasha hilo kila wakati, nilipoomba dereva mpya. 112 00:09:53,718 --> 00:09:57,472 Hatimaye alininyanyua. Tulianza kuendesha gari hadi uwanja wa ndege. 113 00:09:57,555 --> 00:10:01,059 Tulipofika kwenye barabara kuu, maafisa sita wa polisi walimzuia. 114 00:10:01,142 --> 00:10:04,938 Wakapiga kelele, "Chini, sasa!" Nililia kwa sababu nilikuwa kwenye wingu. 115 00:10:08,108 --> 00:10:09,859 Nilikaa nikifikiria, 116 00:10:09,943 --> 00:10:12,654 kwamba lazima nipate ndege yangu. Akasema, Nenda. 117 00:10:12,737 --> 00:10:15,949 Sikuweza kuagiza Uber nyingine kwenye barabara kuu. 118 00:10:16,783 --> 00:10:18,451 Nilijaribu kutulia. 119 00:10:18,535 --> 00:10:23,248 Niliingiwa na hofu. Samahani, kila mtu. 120 00:10:26,042 --> 00:10:27,252 Pole. 121 00:10:31,798 --> 00:10:35,093 Uber mpya kwa hivyo huwezi kuita barabara kuu. 122 00:10:35,176 --> 00:10:38,388 Niliwatazama polisi na kuwauliza: "Unaweza kunichukua?" 123 00:10:38,471 --> 00:10:41,975 Akajibu, "Tunaweza." Häiskä hakuniruhusu kwenye kiti cha mbele. 124 00:10:42,058 --> 00:10:43,977 Ilibidi nirudi nyuma. 125 00:10:45,562 --> 00:10:47,772 Nilitaka kugeuza laptop. 126 00:10:48,898 --> 00:10:52,819 Akawasha ving'ora na kwenda uwanja wa ndege. 127 00:10:52,902 --> 00:10:57,115 Sikuweza kutoka kwenye kiti cha nyuma, hivyo ikabidi afungue mlango. 128 00:10:58,199 --> 00:11:01,411 Alijaribu kusaidia katika mambo. Macho yangu yalikutana - 129 00:11:01,494 --> 00:11:04,414 Na watu 20 weusi. Walitikisa vichwa vyao. 130 00:11:05,832 --> 00:11:09,252 Nilionekana kama ndama wa daraja la kwanza. 131 00:11:11,129 --> 00:11:14,215 Kabla sijapiga hatua kwa uwanja wa ndege kwa aibu, 132 00:11:14,299 --> 00:11:17,260 alisema kwa kipaza sauti: "Safari salama." 133 00:11:17,343 --> 00:11:18,595 Nyamaza! 134 00:11:19,888 --> 00:11:22,473 Fanya kazi yako. Naam, wakati wangu umekwisha. 135 00:11:22,557 --> 00:11:26,519 Yeye ni Dedrick Flynn. 136 00:11:27,854 --> 00:11:33,276 Mchezo wa kwanza wa uwanja na Netflix hufanya moyo wako kudunda katika kifua chako. 137 00:11:44,787 --> 00:11:46,164 Hiyo ilikuwa ya kushangaza. 138 00:11:46,247 --> 00:11:47,123 Ndiyo. -Ajabu. 139 00:11:47,207 --> 00:11:49,417 Nishati ya ajabu na kujiamini. 140 00:11:49,500 --> 00:11:54,088 Sina haja ya kusema chochote. Umma unazungumza kwa kila mtu. 141 00:11:55,089 --> 00:11:56,090 Umefanya vizuri, jamani. 142 00:11:58,301 --> 00:11:59,219 Ilikwenda vizuri. 143 00:12:00,887 --> 00:12:01,846 Ilikuwa nzuri. 144 00:12:03,097 --> 00:12:04,307 Fanya iwe nzuri, dammit. 145 00:12:06,351 --> 00:12:09,604 Asante sana. Nimetaka kukutana nawe maisha yangu yote. 146 00:12:10,563 --> 00:12:14,234 Nina chungu nakala haramu za hadithi zako za vichekesho. 147 00:12:15,401 --> 00:12:18,696 Ninakata nywele zangu kwa mtindo wako. 148 00:12:20,740 --> 00:12:25,620 Dedrick Flynn, uko katika mji wako yupo Austin, Texas. 149 00:12:31,417 --> 00:12:34,754 Alijilimbikizia. Nishati ilikuwa ya ajabu tangu mwanzo. 150 00:12:34,837 --> 00:12:39,133 Nilipata mara moja, uliposonga mbele. Hadithi ilikuwa ya ajabu. 151 00:12:39,217 --> 00:12:43,388 Una nishati nzuri na utu wa ajabu. Wewe ni wa kweli sana. 152 00:12:43,471 --> 00:12:48,726 Asante kwa hilo. - Hisia ni nzuri. 153 00:12:48,810 --> 00:12:52,063 Umeeleza jambo la ajabu. 154 00:12:52,605 --> 00:12:54,565 Je, umekuwa mcheshi kwa muda mrefu? 155 00:12:54,649 --> 00:12:58,111 Zaidi ya miaka 12 kidogo. - Inaweza kuonekana. 156 00:12:58,903 --> 00:13:01,364 Inaonyesha. -Deuce! 157 00:13:03,241 --> 00:13:04,951 Niko kwenye Netflix! 158 00:13:05,994 --> 00:13:07,328 Unaweka dau. 159 00:13:08,830 --> 00:13:13,126 Swali kuu ni, ulilipa kiasi gani kwa nakala haramu? 160 00:13:15,295 --> 00:13:16,629 bei ilikuwa nini basi? 161 00:13:16,713 --> 00:13:19,007 Unaweza kupata zile zenye makali ya bluu kwa dazeni - 162 00:13:19,090 --> 00:13:22,302 na kulikuwa na watu watano wenye kigugumizi. 163 00:13:23,303 --> 00:13:25,221 Nina deni kwako. -Nzuri. 164 00:13:26,306 --> 00:13:27,640 Je, kuna Programu ya Fedha? 165 00:13:31,227 --> 00:13:35,857 Dedrick, maisha yako yalibadilika kabisa katika miezi michache iliyopita. 166 00:13:35,940 --> 00:13:39,193 Wewe ni programu yetu mwigizaji mpya zaidi wa kawaida. Niambie kuhusu hilo. 167 00:13:40,236 --> 00:13:45,033 Nini kilibadilika? Nasikia unarap. Tumeona vito vyako vipya vya meno. 168 00:13:45,116 --> 00:13:48,453 Nitaiweka. - Sio lazima. 169 00:13:48,536 --> 00:13:51,831 Hebu niweke. Ilikuwa wapi? 170 00:13:51,914 --> 00:13:54,542 Roseanne, wewe ni mzuri sana. -Asante. 171 00:13:55,543 --> 00:13:58,963 Asante. Je, hii imewashwa? -Ndio! 172 00:13:59,047 --> 00:14:03,426 Nilikuwa naenda kusema kwamba nilisikia mambo makubwa sana kutoka kinywani mwako. 173 00:14:03,509 --> 00:14:07,972 Hadithi ilizunguka, kichwa chini na juu chini. 174 00:14:08,056 --> 00:14:15,021 Ilikuwa ya ushairi na ya kufurahisha zaidi, nilichosikia. 175 00:14:15,104 --> 00:14:17,824 Umeniacha hoi. Wewe ni wa ajabu. 176 00:14:18,324 --> 00:14:21,194 Mungu, ninazungumza na Roseanne Barr. -Hujambo. 177 00:14:24,030 --> 00:14:24,906 Wewe ni mzuri. 178 00:14:25,948 --> 00:14:31,162 Ninatoka Georgia. Tunakutazama kwenye TV kila Jumapili - 179 00:14:31,245 --> 00:14:34,290 mara baada ya Gunsmoke. 180 00:14:35,792 --> 00:14:40,338 Wewe ni mcheshi mzuri, mpenzi. Una mustakabali mzuri mbele yako. 181 00:14:48,137 --> 00:14:49,514 Wewe ndiye bora, dude! 182 00:14:51,099 --> 00:14:53,851 Dedrick, niliongea na mama yako. 183 00:14:54,936 --> 00:14:56,437 Naam, meno ya dhahabu. 184 00:14:59,315 --> 00:15:00,733 Muueni Tony, jamaa. 185 00:15:02,318 --> 00:15:03,403 Pole. 186 00:15:03,486 --> 00:15:08,116 Ikiwa umebadilisha tu kwa hii kutoka kwa filamu ya Tyler Perry, 187 00:15:08,199 --> 00:15:12,912 kweli unayo Atlanta kwenye skrini yako dhoruba ya giza aka Dedrick Flynn. 188 00:15:12,995 --> 00:15:16,416 Nilizungumza na mama yako, lakini sijauliza, baba yako ni katika mifumo? 189 00:15:16,499 --> 00:15:19,502 Uliuliza. Nikasema basi kwamba baba yangu amekufa. 190 00:15:19,585 --> 00:15:21,212 Nzuri, kamili. 191 00:15:22,422 --> 00:15:25,550 Walakini, yuko hapa sasa. Je, unaelewa? Yupo. 192 00:15:25,633 --> 00:15:28,344 Mama yangu hakuweza. Baba yangu yuko hapa. - Hiyo ni kweli. 193 00:15:29,512 --> 00:15:32,807 Naamini yuko sasa hivi katika idara ya upishi. 194 00:15:35,560 --> 00:15:38,938 D Madness alisema, kwamba unaweza kuona kama baba yangu yupo. 195 00:15:41,941 --> 00:15:45,111 Dedrick, wewe ni mzuri. Ulifanya tena. 196 00:15:45,194 --> 00:15:48,531 Kila mtu anakupenda. Karibu katika familia ya Kill Tony. 197 00:15:48,614 --> 00:15:53,077 Mchezo wa kwanza wa uwanja na Netflix! - Wewe ndiye bora! 198 00:15:53,161 --> 00:15:56,456 Ndoto ya Amerika na Dedrick Flynn. 199 00:16:02,879 --> 00:16:07,967 Tunachora kutoka kwa ndoo ya kawaida. Baada ya hayo, wacha tuendelee kwenye hadithi. 200 00:16:08,050 --> 00:16:13,473 Hapa kuna jina la neno moja. Piga kelele kwa Yang! 201 00:16:23,191 --> 00:16:26,652 Habari, jina langu ni Yang. Mimi ni Asia. 202 00:16:29,489 --> 00:16:31,449 Viwakilishi vyangu ni su na shi - 203 00:16:34,202 --> 00:16:35,203 mpuuzi huyu. 204 00:16:38,080 --> 00:16:40,416 Mimi ni mwanamuziki. 205 00:16:41,792 --> 00:16:43,711 Jina langu la hatua ni Lil Ming, 206 00:16:45,922 --> 00:16:48,174 aka Manjano Haitian 2000. 207 00:16:49,884 --> 00:16:52,553 Aina yangu ya MBTI ni EVVK. 208 00:16:54,472 --> 00:16:55,973 Ninapenda kununua viatu - 209 00:16:57,141 --> 00:16:58,518 na kutengeneza viatu. 210 00:17:01,604 --> 00:17:03,898 Nimekuja tu kushiriki habari njema. 211 00:17:03,981 --> 00:17:06,609 Nimepata cheti changu cha ufundi wa kucha. 212 00:17:10,071 --> 00:17:11,531 Tulia, ilikuwa ni mzaha. 213 00:17:13,574 --> 00:17:15,284 Je, ninafanana na fundi wa kucha? 214 00:17:17,119 --> 00:17:18,371 Asante. Mimi ni Yang. 215 00:17:19,247 --> 00:17:22,333 Sekunde hamsini na tano za Yang! 216 00:17:22,875 --> 00:17:25,503 Imeandikwa "Yang", lakini hutamkwa "Vijana". 217 00:17:25,586 --> 00:17:28,297 Ndiyo, kwa sababu ina herufi g. - Hiyo ni kweli. 218 00:17:28,381 --> 00:17:32,093 Ulisema wewe ni kijana wa Asia, na Redban ilisababishwa. 219 00:17:32,176 --> 00:17:36,973 Kusisimua. Habari njema ni kwamba, kwamba hakika utapata siri zote - 220 00:17:37,056 --> 00:17:39,809 kwenye Klabu ya Vichekesho ya Sunset Strip katika umilele. 221 00:17:39,892 --> 00:17:42,728 Residence Inn, leo saa 1:00 kama unataka. 222 00:17:42,812 --> 00:17:46,983 Hata. Ana kipindi cha vichekesho kwenye Residence Inn. 223 00:17:47,066 --> 00:17:49,860 Anatumia pesa. -Hii ndiyo. 224 00:17:50,653 --> 00:17:53,155 Umekuwa ukifanya stand up comedy kwa muda gani? 225 00:17:53,239 --> 00:17:55,783 Miaka mitatu, minne. - Wapi? 226 00:17:55,866 --> 00:17:57,785 yupo Tampa, Florida. -Wazi. 227 00:17:57,868 --> 00:17:59,996 Je, ulikuja hapa kwa ajili ya hii tu? 228 00:18:00,580 --> 00:18:03,666 Pole? Je, ulikuja Austin kwa ajili ya hili tu? 229 00:18:04,166 --> 00:18:07,628 Ndiyo, kwa hili tu. - Nilipata bahati. 230 00:18:07,712 --> 00:18:09,589 Hivyo. -Haikwenda kwenye shavu lake. 231 00:18:11,257 --> 00:18:13,092 Haikuenda kwenye shavu lake. 232 00:18:13,676 --> 00:18:15,970 Je, mimi? -Haikwenda kwenye shavu lake. 233 00:18:16,053 --> 00:18:16,929 Ndiyo, asante. 234 00:18:18,097 --> 00:18:20,308 Lafudhi yako inazidi kuwa ya kibaguzi. 235 00:18:21,183 --> 00:18:23,019 "Nachukua shavu." 236 00:18:23,102 --> 00:18:24,979 Nadhani umefanya vizuri. 237 00:18:25,062 --> 00:18:27,106 Asante. -Ulifika kwa ujasiri. 238 00:18:27,189 --> 00:18:29,400 Ulichukua hatari. Nadhani ilikuwa na thamani yake. 239 00:18:29,483 --> 00:18:31,027 Haikuwa na thamani yake? -Ndio. 240 00:18:34,447 --> 00:18:37,408 Jambo zima lilikuwa la ajabu. 241 00:18:37,491 --> 00:18:41,829 Pia tuna bora milele simama mchekeshaji. 242 00:18:41,912 --> 00:18:45,458 Pia utapata maoni kutoka kwake. -Asante. 243 00:18:46,167 --> 00:18:51,714 Seti ilikuwa ngumu na ya haraka. - Ilikuwa ngumu kwangu pia. 244 00:18:51,797 --> 00:18:55,259 sijui unaongea nini lakini nzuri ikiwa umenusurika. 245 00:18:55,343 --> 00:18:56,218 Redban. 246 00:18:56,302 --> 00:18:59,847 Ulivuta kama bam, bam, bam. 247 00:18:59,930 --> 00:19:03,726 Unaweza kusema kuwa… Mungu, jinsi ulivyo na nia mbili. 248 00:19:03,809 --> 00:19:04,769 Hakika. -Samahani. 249 00:19:04,852 --> 00:19:07,521 Ulipokuwa unazungumzia mwendo kasi, 250 00:19:07,605 --> 00:19:09,982 unapaswa kufikiria nini? Pole. 251 00:19:10,066 --> 00:19:12,818 Ilikuwa ni hotuba ya mcheshi. - Ilikuwa. 252 00:19:12,902 --> 00:19:16,697 Wewe ni mchekeshaji mzuri, lakini nataka sana kujua jambo moja. 253 00:19:16,781 --> 00:19:18,324 unakula nini 254 00:19:20,242 --> 00:19:21,243 Sushi nyingi. 255 00:19:22,870 --> 00:19:25,206 Namaanisha unakula nini kwa siku? 256 00:19:25,289 --> 00:19:29,251 Ninakula nini wakati wa mchana? Wengi huuliza hivyo, 257 00:19:29,335 --> 00:19:33,130 kwa sababu wanawake wa Marekani sio wembamba kiasi hicho. 258 00:19:35,675 --> 00:19:38,594 Hakuna tatizo. Wacha tuanze kupunguza uzito. 259 00:19:39,095 --> 00:19:41,889 Katika nchi hii ina kuwa mafuta-phobic tena. 260 00:19:44,350 --> 00:19:45,226 Asante. 261 00:19:46,143 --> 00:19:50,356 Irudishe. Inasaidia. 262 00:19:51,649 --> 00:19:56,987 Yang, una kipaji cha ajabu. Unafanya hivi kwa kazi? unafanya nini 263 00:19:57,071 --> 00:19:59,115 Unapataje mapato? -Ninaendesha Uber. 264 00:19:59,865 --> 00:20:06,038 Je, unaendesha Uber? -Kwa. Nilichukua mkopo wa euro 2000 ... 265 00:20:08,374 --> 00:20:11,127 Sikuweza kuendesha gari usiku wa Mwaka Mpya - 266 00:20:11,210 --> 00:20:13,713 na karibu nifilisike kuja hapa 267 00:20:13,796 --> 00:20:16,424 lakini nataka kutimiza ndoto yangu hapa. 268 00:20:16,507 --> 00:20:19,927 Naam, wewe… - Asante. 269 00:20:20,010 --> 00:20:22,763 Haingeweza kuwa bora zaidi. Umefaulu. 270 00:20:23,305 --> 00:20:26,976 Uko kwenye Netflix. Sasa uko kwenye uwanja. 271 00:20:27,059 --> 00:20:29,186 Unajisikiaje? Unajisikia vizuri? - Mimi... 272 00:20:29,979 --> 00:20:33,190 Ajabu. Hiki ndicho hasa ninachohitaji. 273 00:20:33,858 --> 00:20:35,443 Sijui kama uliniona mtandaoni. 274 00:20:35,526 --> 00:20:39,113 Nimewahi Wafuasi 30,000 kwenye Instagram. 275 00:20:40,364 --> 00:20:43,534 nahitaji hii ili watu wanijue. 276 00:20:44,452 --> 00:20:48,080 Ninakushukuru kwa kufanya hivi na unawapa watu nafasi. 277 00:20:48,164 --> 00:20:50,750 Naipenda. - Zaidi ya imani. 278 00:20:51,417 --> 00:20:53,043 Ulisema kila kitu unachohitaji. 279 00:20:53,127 --> 00:20:56,088 Redban anatokwa na jasho kweli. -Hii ndiyo. 280 00:20:56,172 --> 00:20:59,091 Una uso mdogo na ngozi nyeupe nzuri. 281 00:20:59,175 --> 00:21:02,386 Nilifurahia. -Unaonekana kuwa na figo kushindwa kufanya kazi tena. 282 00:21:07,600 --> 00:21:08,642 Hiyo ni kweli. 283 00:21:09,518 --> 00:21:11,896 Utambuzi mzuri. 284 00:21:12,646 --> 00:21:15,691 Najua. Nimeiona sana. 285 00:21:18,569 --> 00:21:22,156 Ungekula sawa na yeye. Kula rundo la saladi ya mwani. 286 00:21:22,239 --> 00:21:25,743 Unajua? -Asante Mungu hukusema "yai". 287 00:21:29,121 --> 00:21:34,376 Lazima nivumilie hivyo katika maisha yangu ya kazi ya kila wiki. 288 00:21:35,669 --> 00:21:39,298 Je, una mpenzi? - Natafuta moja. 289 00:21:39,381 --> 00:21:43,302 Hata. Unapenda wanaume wa aina gani? Unapenda aina fulani? 290 00:21:43,385 --> 00:21:47,348 Wewe ni mzuri. - Njoo sasa. 291 00:21:50,017 --> 00:21:53,354 Je, unapenda Waasia? Sijakuona hivyo. 292 00:21:53,437 --> 00:21:55,397 Redban ni mtaalamu wetu wa Asia. 293 00:21:55,481 --> 00:21:57,775 Huwezi kuwa bora zaidi ya hapo. - Hakuna basi. 294 00:21:57,858 --> 00:22:01,862 Hebu tupige chini. - Nina moja hapa. 295 00:22:01,946 --> 00:22:05,825 Sisi watatu tunaweza… - Nyamaza. 296 00:22:08,452 --> 00:22:11,497 Inaonekana huna sehemu hizo, ambayo ninapenda. 297 00:22:12,623 --> 00:22:13,916 Je, unajua? 298 00:22:13,999 --> 00:22:16,544 Je! - Je, unatokea Thailand? 299 00:22:17,628 --> 00:22:21,882 Ninatoka China. Naipenda. Ni nchi ya ajabu. 300 00:22:27,847 --> 00:22:29,849 Samahani, ninazungumza. 301 00:22:32,476 --> 00:22:35,437 Ninajenga ukumbi mkubwa wa mpira kwa nyumba nyeupe, 302 00:22:37,356 --> 00:22:41,235 kwa sababu ninayo mifuko mikubwa na mikono mikubwa. 303 00:22:43,112 --> 00:22:46,031 Hatulipi. China italipa. 304 00:23:00,045 --> 00:23:02,882 Pole tu. Hadithi za uwongo. 305 00:23:03,632 --> 00:23:05,843 Uchina inalipa kwa ushuru wa fentanyl, 306 00:23:05,926 --> 00:23:07,720 Kwa kodi ya 200% ya fentanyl. 307 00:23:09,805 --> 00:23:14,184 Wacha Tuifanye Amerika Kubwa Tena. Wacha tufanye Kuua Tony kuwa mzuri tena. 308 00:23:16,186 --> 00:23:19,023 Nadhani ulifanya Kubwa tena kutoka kwa Kill Tony. 309 00:23:19,106 --> 00:23:20,190 Na unajua nini? 310 00:23:20,274 --> 00:23:24,403 Ingawa tuko kwenye Netflix na katika uwanja, tufurahie. 311 00:23:24,486 --> 00:23:27,615 Wewe ndiye mpya zaidi katika programu Mshindi wa Tiketi ya Dhahabu. 312 00:23:33,913 --> 00:23:39,668 Ni show gani. Zaidi ya imani. Hapa kuna kitabu kikubwa cha utani. Kibanda! 313 00:23:41,420 --> 00:23:44,423 Asante sana, Yang. Umefanikiwa kikamilifu. 314 00:23:44,506 --> 00:23:47,176 Hiyo isingekuwa bora zaidi. 315 00:23:47,259 --> 00:23:52,097 Hii ndiyo maana yake hasa ndoto ya Wachina wa Amerika. 316 00:23:52,181 --> 00:23:55,351 Ulichukua hatari. Ulitumia pesa zako. Ulikuja hapa. 317 00:23:55,434 --> 00:23:58,646 Si lazima jina lako ingetolewa kwenye ndoo. 318 00:23:58,729 --> 00:24:01,398 Umefaulu. Ulifanya mzaha wako. 319 00:24:01,482 --> 00:24:05,069 Ulikuwa mtulivu kwenye mahojiano, 320 00:24:05,152 --> 00:24:08,739 kwa usahihi na uboreshaji. Hivi ndivyo programu inahusu. 321 00:24:08,822 --> 00:24:10,157 Kushangaza. -Asante. 322 00:24:10,240 --> 00:24:12,993 Watazamaji wapendwa, nyota imezaliwa. 323 00:24:21,710 --> 00:24:24,672 Nikasikia kuna vinywaji vinakuja. Je, hiyo ni kweli? 324 00:24:24,755 --> 00:24:26,173 Hongera, Yang. 325 00:24:27,675 --> 00:24:31,220 Onyesha neema kwa Heidi na Vali. 326 00:24:32,012 --> 00:24:35,015 Hiyo ilikuwa ya kushangaza. - Vinywaji vinakuja. 327 00:24:35,099 --> 00:24:35,975 nadhani 328 00:24:36,558 --> 00:24:40,562 kwamba vinywaji ni ... Hapo wanakuja. Inasisimua. 329 00:24:41,897 --> 00:24:43,190 Jinsi ya kusisimua. 330 00:24:44,274 --> 00:24:46,276 Heidi na Val, kila mtu. 331 00:24:52,241 --> 00:24:54,868 Hii inaburudisha. - Nadhani Roseanne alitaka kitu kingine. 332 00:24:55,411 --> 00:24:59,164 Unataka nini, Roseanne? Je, tunaweza kuwa na… 333 00:24:59,665 --> 00:25:02,710 Je, utailetea Roseanne Bar glasi ya maji ya barafu? 334 00:25:02,793 --> 00:25:05,212 Vipi kuhusu wewe? - Nitachukua tequila. 335 00:25:05,295 --> 00:25:07,965 Je, ninaweza kunywa na wewe? -Unaweka dau. 336 00:25:08,549 --> 00:25:11,051 Ni Mwaka Mpya. Hiyo ni kisingizio changu. 337 00:25:11,135 --> 00:25:12,136 Kweli. 338 00:25:12,219 --> 00:25:15,389 Tony, wacha niwe mkweli, 339 00:25:15,472 --> 00:25:18,058 kwamba show inakwenda kwa nguvu. 340 00:25:18,684 --> 00:25:20,602 Kila mtu amekuwa na furaha. 341 00:25:22,187 --> 00:25:23,731 Hii ni njia nzuri ya kumaliza mwaka. 342 00:25:23,814 --> 00:25:27,818 Inafaa kumaliza mwaka huko Austin, Texas! 343 00:25:27,901 --> 00:25:31,655 Sikiliza hii. Nilitoa jina kutoka kwa ndoo ya hadithi. 344 00:25:31,739 --> 00:25:34,199 Kuna mtu anakuja? -Yeye ni kituko cha asili. 345 00:25:34,283 --> 00:25:38,287 Amekuwa kwenye show yetu mara moja tu kabla. 346 00:25:38,370 --> 00:25:42,833 Wakati huo huo, wengi wanasema, kuwa yeye ndiye mgombea mkuu - 347 00:25:42,916 --> 00:25:48,589 Katika shindano la Mgeni Bora wa Mwaka. Hebu tumkaribishe Rob Schneider! 348 00:25:57,556 --> 00:25:58,432 Asante. 349 00:26:00,642 --> 00:26:01,810 Asante sana. 350 00:26:03,187 --> 00:26:04,104 Asante. 351 00:26:06,273 --> 00:26:08,442 Asante. Habari. 352 00:26:08,525 --> 00:26:09,902 Welder. Asante. 353 00:26:11,528 --> 00:26:13,405 Asante. Asante sana. 354 00:26:17,951 --> 00:26:19,912 Nilikuja tu kwa pussy ya Asia. 355 00:26:22,331 --> 00:26:23,540 Nimeliona hilo tu. 356 00:26:24,708 --> 00:26:29,505 Unafanya ndoto za wachekeshaji zitimie, Tony Hinchcliffe. 357 00:26:30,714 --> 00:26:31,590 Kweli unafanya. 358 00:26:33,258 --> 00:26:36,053 Unatoa kazi ya wacheshi wengi kuanza - 359 00:26:36,762 --> 00:26:39,056 au mwanzo mpya, na ninataka kusema asante. 360 00:26:39,139 --> 00:26:42,142 Kwa kweli. Hasikii. 361 00:26:44,520 --> 00:26:47,106 Tony, unapotazama na kusikia hii, 362 00:26:49,024 --> 00:26:52,277 nataka ujue unamaanisha nini kwangu - 363 00:26:53,153 --> 00:26:56,198 na ulifanya nini kwa sababu ya wacheshi maana. 364 00:26:56,865 --> 00:27:01,120 Tangu wakati huo, nilipokuwa kwenye show yako... 365 00:27:01,203 --> 00:27:02,830 Tony, ukisikia hii ... 366 00:27:02,913 --> 00:27:06,875 Ninataka kusema kwamba nilikuwa kwenye show yako miezi kadhaa iliyopita, 367 00:27:08,752 --> 00:27:12,339 na sijapokea chochote kutoka kwake, 368 00:27:12,881 --> 00:27:17,678 hakuna shit. Maisha yangu hayakuwa bora, hata kidogo. 369 00:27:17,761 --> 00:27:20,305 Hakuna jambo la kusikitisha lililotokea. 370 00:27:20,389 --> 00:27:24,059 Sijapokea ofa hata moja. Ninakushukuru kwa hilo. 371 00:27:25,978 --> 00:27:26,854 Asante. 372 00:27:32,234 --> 00:27:34,653 Nataka kushukuru. Unaweza kufanya hivi! 373 00:27:35,237 --> 00:27:37,865 Unaweza kufanya hivi, Austin. 374 00:27:39,324 --> 00:27:40,742 Mkesha wote wa Mwaka Mpya! 375 00:27:41,827 --> 00:27:43,829 Ninataka kukuambia jambo fulani. 376 00:27:43,912 --> 00:27:45,622 Wacheshi wengi husema utani. 377 00:27:45,706 --> 00:27:50,335 Nataka kusimulia hadithi kuhusu jambo muhimu kwangu. 378 00:27:50,419 --> 00:27:54,173 Ninachukia wakati watu wanatembelea kwenye ancestry.com - 379 00:27:54,715 --> 00:27:58,510 na kusema, "Umefanikiwa, kwamba babu-mkuu wa babu yangu - 380 00:27:58,594 --> 00:28:02,848 alikuwa kwenye Mayflower na kwamba alikuwa nahodha wake." 381 00:28:02,931 --> 00:28:06,768 Nyamaza! Kwanza kabisa, haitakusaidia. 382 00:28:06,852 --> 00:28:10,189 Hakuna anayejali. Haitakufanya kuwa bora. 383 00:28:10,272 --> 00:28:14,693 Wazee wetu walijaribu kuishi tu na kufanya bora yako. 384 00:28:14,776 --> 00:28:19,072 Hakuna mtu anayejisifu kwa mambo ya kawaida, ambayo mababu kadhaa walifanya. 385 00:28:19,615 --> 00:28:21,783 Haisemi: "Ilibainika kuwa babu wa babu yangu - 386 00:28:21,867 --> 00:28:25,621 alikuwa akitamba kwenye Mayflower. 387 00:28:25,704 --> 00:28:31,043 Alikuwa mhudumu na akadondosha kitu na nahodha akampiga, 388 00:28:31,126 --> 00:28:33,670 kwa hivyo nina uhusiano fulani na nahodha." 389 00:28:35,047 --> 00:28:38,383 Nilipokuwa na umri wa miaka kumi, 390 00:28:38,467 --> 00:28:40,969 baba aliniambia 391 00:28:41,845 --> 00:28:45,515 kwamba vita kuu ya pili ya dunia ilikuwa Tukio muhimu zaidi la karne ya 20 - 392 00:28:46,516 --> 00:28:48,977 na hiyo yake matukio muhimu zaidi yalikuwa - 393 00:28:49,061 --> 00:28:53,482 Ukombozi wa Ulaya i.e. kutua kwa Normandy mnamo Juni 6, 1944 - 394 00:28:53,565 --> 00:28:56,443 na baba yangu alikuwepo. Niliuliza ikiwa ningeweza kuzungumza naye. 395 00:28:56,526 --> 00:28:58,779 "Naweza?" Baba akasema, "Huna." 396 00:28:58,862 --> 00:29:01,740 Papa inasemekana aliteseka hatia ya aliyenusurika. 397 00:29:02,532 --> 00:29:06,286 Kwa nini alinusurika wakati marafiki walikufa karibu? 398 00:29:06,870 --> 00:29:10,165 Kwa hivyo ikiwa anataka kuzungumza, anaongea. Ikiwa sivyo, basi hapana. 399 00:29:11,375 --> 00:29:14,503 Tulimtembelea siku za Jumapili. Wakati mmoja baba alisema: 400 00:29:14,586 --> 00:29:17,005 "Baba anataka kuzungumza juu ya kutua." 401 00:29:17,798 --> 00:29:19,841 "Sasa?" "Ndio, mwache aongee." 402 00:29:20,676 --> 00:29:25,097 Kisha nikaenda kuuliza: “Utatuambia kuhusu kutua— 403 00:29:25,931 --> 00:29:30,269 6 Juni 1944, juu ya ukombozi wa Uropa na Omaha Beach? 404 00:29:31,270 --> 00:29:32,729 Ilikuwaje?" 405 00:29:32,813 --> 00:29:37,150 Sitasahau jibu lake: “Sawa, asubuhi nililala! 406 00:29:38,026 --> 00:29:40,112 Kisha Wamarekani kuanza mashambulizi. 407 00:29:40,195 --> 00:29:43,699 Nikasema: 'Mehr schnell kemmt. Wanakuja.' 408 00:29:43,782 --> 00:29:46,785 Herr Hitler alikuwa sahihi! Mashetani hao wanakuja.' 409 00:29:49,913 --> 00:29:54,626 Tuliwapiga risasi Wamarekani wengi sana iwezekanavyo, 410 00:29:56,128 --> 00:29:59,965 lakini walikuwa wengi mno na wale Wakanada wa kutisha wakaja. 411 00:30:00,465 --> 00:30:04,303 Kwa bahati nzuri tulikuwa na waya za mtego, hivyo mabomu yalilipuka. 412 00:30:04,386 --> 00:30:08,015 Kulikuwa na mikono na miguu ya Marekani pamoja na wavulana. 413 00:30:08,098 --> 00:30:10,517 Niliwainua na kuwapiga, 414 00:30:10,600 --> 00:30:14,021 lakini walikuwa wengi sana. Hatimaye risasi ziliisha. 415 00:30:14,104 --> 00:30:16,565 Nilitupa bunduki, nikavaa mavazi ya wanawake, 416 00:30:16,648 --> 00:30:19,943 Niliingia Ubelgiji kisiri, Nilinyonya mayai kadhaa lakini nilifanikiwa." 417 00:30:24,281 --> 00:30:25,282 Papa. 418 00:30:27,701 --> 00:30:31,913 Ninaelewa ulichomaanisha na hatia ya aliyenusurika. 419 00:30:35,792 --> 00:30:37,753 Naam, asante kwa kuniruhusu nije. 420 00:30:37,836 --> 00:30:40,339 Je, utahamisha punda wako mkubwa ili niweze kukaa 421 00:30:40,422 --> 00:30:43,633 Anakaa huko. Finya kati yake na Roseanne. 422 00:30:44,926 --> 00:30:47,763 Rob Schneider anajiunga na jopo. 423 00:30:49,639 --> 00:30:54,061 Ilikuwa ni mlipuko tu. 424 00:30:55,395 --> 00:30:59,107 Je, tumpe Rob Schneider makofi? 425 00:31:03,737 --> 00:31:07,866 Rudi kwenye ndoo, watazamaji wapendwa. 426 00:31:07,949 --> 00:31:12,829 Mtu wa kawaida lazima afuate Rob Schneider kwenye uwanja. 427 00:31:12,913 --> 00:31:17,501 Tupokee Mvua Kwa Wakati. Huku ndiko anakotoka. 428 00:31:23,548 --> 00:31:25,258 Mpenzi wangu ana umri wa miaka 30. 429 00:31:25,967 --> 00:31:29,596 Ni sawa mpaka utambue kwamba ilikuwa hivyo hata nilipokuwa na umri wa miaka 16. 430 00:31:31,431 --> 00:31:34,559 Ninazeeka. Hawafanyi hivyo. 431 00:31:36,269 --> 00:31:40,148 Mimi ni msichana mzuri sana, kwa hivyo mara ya mwisho ex wangu aliuliza: 432 00:31:40,232 --> 00:31:44,778 "Umekuwa wapi maisha yangu yote?" Nilijibu, "Katika shule ya upili." 433 00:31:46,446 --> 00:31:49,074 Sikumpata kuja kwenye maonyesho yangu ya vichekesho - 434 00:31:49,157 --> 00:31:50,826 na asimpe talaka mkewe. 435 00:31:52,577 --> 00:31:56,164 Yeye ni mume wangu wa tatu, na hata sijaolewa. 436 00:32:00,085 --> 00:32:05,132 Mchuuzi wangu wa magugu alipiga simu na kusema, aliyemaliza chuo kikuu. 437 00:32:06,299 --> 00:32:09,761 Alinishukuru kwa kulipia masomo yangu. 438 00:32:11,054 --> 00:32:13,557 Nikawaza, "Jamani, ningeweza kusoma." 439 00:32:16,184 --> 00:32:19,020 Je! unataka kusikia utani wa yai? -Ndio. 440 00:32:19,813 --> 00:32:20,856 Sina. 441 00:32:23,442 --> 00:32:26,319 Mimi ni mmoja wa wale wanaofanya orgasm bandia - 442 00:32:26,403 --> 00:32:29,030 hata wakati wa kupiga punyeto, ili kuimaliza. 443 00:32:29,990 --> 00:32:32,951 Asante. Niko Kwa Wakati. - Mvua kwa Wakati. 444 00:32:34,077 --> 00:32:36,913 Seti kubwa. -Asante. 445 00:32:36,997 --> 00:32:40,250 Zaidi ya imani. Ulitolewa kwenye ndoo - 446 00:32:40,333 --> 00:32:45,797 kwa mara ya kwanza jumatatu iliyopita, tuliporekodi kipindi chetu cha kawaida. 447 00:32:45,881 --> 00:32:48,175 Ulijiandikisha mara ngapi? 448 00:32:48,258 --> 00:32:51,011 Labda zaidi ya mara 50 katika kipindi cha miaka miwili na nusu. 449 00:32:51,094 --> 00:32:54,264 Zaidi ya mara 50, lakini kimiujiza - 450 00:32:54,347 --> 00:32:59,686 umepanda jukwaani mara mbili katika siku tatu. Kichaa. 451 00:32:59,769 --> 00:33:03,899 Haijulikani ni njia za ndoo. - Mungu akipenda. 452 00:33:05,942 --> 00:33:07,235 Mvua ikinyesha inamwagika. 453 00:33:07,319 --> 00:33:09,362 Umekuwa ukifanya kwa muda gani kusimama comedy? 454 00:33:09,446 --> 00:33:12,365 Miaka minne huko Houston, Texas. 455 00:33:12,449 --> 00:33:13,617 Unafanya kazi gani? 456 00:33:13,700 --> 00:33:15,952 Na jinsi gani? -Unafanya kazi gani? 457 00:33:16,495 --> 00:33:17,537 Simama vichekesho. 458 00:33:17,621 --> 00:33:21,416 Ninatoa maonyesho kote Houston na ninafanya kazi Ren Faire. 459 00:33:21,500 --> 00:33:23,877 Mimi ni mhudumu wa baa na yaya. 460 00:33:23,960 --> 00:33:26,630 Nitafanya chochote ili niweze kufanya hivi jioni. 461 00:33:26,713 --> 00:33:28,048 Kushangaza. - Ndiyo. 462 00:33:28,840 --> 00:33:29,716 Kushangaza. 463 00:33:31,551 --> 00:33:32,636 Hakika. 464 00:33:32,719 --> 00:33:37,098 Tuambie kitu kichaa kuhusu maisha yako. Tushangae. 465 00:33:37,849 --> 00:33:40,644 Inaweza kuwa haishangazi kwamba lakini nilikuwa mraibu wa dawa za kulevya. 466 00:33:41,311 --> 00:33:43,146 Muda. -Sipo tena. 467 00:33:43,230 --> 00:33:46,066 Niliacha kokeini kwa stand up comedy. 468 00:33:46,775 --> 00:33:48,443 Nzuri. 469 00:33:50,820 --> 00:33:52,948 Je, cocaine ilikuwa jambo lako kuu? 470 00:33:53,031 --> 00:33:59,037 Hapana, pia nilikuwa mraibu wa ketamine, furaha, oksidi ya nitrojeni - 471 00:33:59,120 --> 00:34:02,791 na LSD kwa wakati mmoja. 472 00:34:04,251 --> 00:34:06,545 Inafurahisha jinsi watazamaji wanavyofurahi. 473 00:34:06,628 --> 00:34:09,256 Ndio, hata sikumbuki. - Samar Austin. 474 00:34:11,007 --> 00:34:16,096 Kabla ya covid sikupenda ketamine, 475 00:34:16,179 --> 00:34:20,517 lakini ilifanya kukaa nyumbani kuwa nzuri. 476 00:34:20,600 --> 00:34:23,270 Ilikuwa ni hitilafu. 477 00:34:23,353 --> 00:34:27,691 Ni jambo gani la kichaa zaidi lililotokea wakati huo? 478 00:34:27,774 --> 00:34:31,403 Kulikuwa na nyakati, lini uligundua kuwa uko chini ya mwamba? 479 00:34:32,445 --> 00:34:36,866 Hapana, unaweza kuisikia kutoka kwa wengine muda mrefu kabla ya kujua. 480 00:34:38,868 --> 00:34:40,662 Ilifanyika kweli au la? 481 00:34:40,745 --> 00:34:44,708 Jambo la kichaa zaidi lilikuwa nilipoona kuwa kila droo yangu ilikuwa - 482 00:34:44,791 --> 00:34:48,044 sehemu mbalimbali duniani. 483 00:34:49,004 --> 00:34:52,299 Kwa mfano, droo yangu ya soksi ilikuwa kama pwani - 484 00:34:53,341 --> 00:34:56,344 na droo ya suruali ilikuwa kanisa kuu. 485 00:34:57,429 --> 00:35:01,600 Kwa kufumba na kufumbua macho ilikuwa imetoweka. 486 00:35:02,642 --> 00:35:05,020 jambo la kichaa zaidi kilichotokea ni kweli 487 00:35:05,103 --> 00:35:08,732 kwamba niliishia kuishi katika moteli sungura mdogo, 488 00:35:08,815 --> 00:35:14,446 na mbwa, paka na DJ mwenye kisukari. Aliiba pesa zangu zote. 489 00:35:16,531 --> 00:35:19,242 Habari njema ilikuwa, kwamba haikuwa nyingi. 490 00:35:19,326 --> 00:35:22,454 $800 kabisa. 491 00:35:22,537 --> 00:35:24,164 Naam, hilo ni jambo zuri. -Kwa hiyo. 492 00:35:24,247 --> 00:35:26,082 Lazima uwe chanya. -Asante. 493 00:35:26,166 --> 00:35:27,292 Daima. 494 00:35:27,375 --> 00:35:30,003 Hasa kama mlevi wa dawa za kulevya. - Hasa basi. 495 00:35:30,086 --> 00:35:31,838 Inapaswa kuchimba kwa kina. 496 00:35:31,921 --> 00:35:33,632 Sio tena. - Shikilia. 497 00:35:33,715 --> 00:35:35,425 Wazi. - Unastahili. 498 00:35:35,508 --> 00:35:40,388 Ndio, mimi ndiye bora zaidi. Mimi ni mzuri sana katika kutumia dawa za kulevya. 499 00:35:41,264 --> 00:35:44,893 Bora kuliko wewe. - Ulifanya vizuri. 500 00:35:44,976 --> 00:35:48,730 Ulifanya kazi nzuri. Muda ulikuwa mzuri na ulikuwa haraka. 501 00:35:48,813 --> 00:35:51,232 Hukuchelewa sana. 502 00:35:51,316 --> 00:35:55,403 Nitalipia upasuaji wako wa uume. - Asante Mungu. 503 00:35:55,487 --> 00:35:56,988 Wewe ni mzuri sana. -Asante. 504 00:35:57,072 --> 00:35:58,948 Ndoo ya kukata iko wapi? 505 00:36:02,327 --> 00:36:04,079 Nilidhani wewe ni mzuri pia. 506 00:36:04,162 --> 00:36:08,708 Ulikuwa na ujasiri na udhibiti wa nafasi yako. 507 00:36:08,792 --> 00:36:10,335 Ni vigumu. -Asante. 508 00:36:10,418 --> 00:36:15,173 Nyenzo zako zilifaa na imeandikwa vizuri. 509 00:36:15,256 --> 00:36:16,132 nitajaribu. 510 00:36:16,216 --> 00:36:21,179 Nadhani una wakati ujao mzuri katika stand up comedy. 511 00:36:21,805 --> 00:36:25,558 Hungedhani hiyo ina maana gani kwako, Rosa. Asante. 512 00:36:25,642 --> 00:36:28,520 Asante. -Wewe ni asili kabisa. 513 00:36:28,603 --> 00:36:30,772 Ulipokaa, nilifikiria: 514 00:36:30,855 --> 00:36:34,401 "Sijui kama nataka kujua unachofikiria, hata nikitaka." 515 00:36:34,484 --> 00:36:36,194 Asante. - Ulikuwa wa ajabu. 516 00:36:36,277 --> 00:36:39,030 Hiyo ina maana kubwa kwangu. -Asante. 517 00:36:39,114 --> 00:36:41,825 Kweli, Mvua ya Wakati. - Ulifanya! 518 00:36:41,908 --> 00:36:44,077 Asante, kila mtu. 519 00:36:44,160 --> 00:36:46,746 Mvua ya Wakati muafaka, watazamaji wazuri. -Asante! 520 00:36:48,373 --> 00:36:54,129 Kuna dau za ajabu. Hii ni furaha adimu uwanjani. 521 00:36:54,212 --> 00:36:57,841 Hakuna mtu bado amepasuka chini ya shinikizo. 522 00:36:57,924 --> 00:37:01,052 Kwaheri, Kwa Wakati. Sasa. 523 00:37:01,803 --> 00:37:04,889 Watazamaji wapendwa, weka sauti yako. 524 00:37:05,807 --> 00:37:11,062 Fiona Cauley pekee ndiye anayerejea. 525 00:37:33,293 --> 00:37:34,627 Habari. 526 00:37:47,891 --> 00:37:49,350 Oh wavulana. 527 00:37:52,729 --> 00:37:58,985 Nina mtoto wa jamaa mwenye umri wa mwaka mmoja jina Nico. 528 00:38:00,153 --> 00:38:02,155 Yeye ni mzuri. Tunampenda. 529 00:38:04,073 --> 00:38:07,744 Wakati wa Krismasi tulienda mahali pake. 530 00:38:08,286 --> 00:38:14,459 Alikaa sakafuni mbele yangu na kuwasiliana na macho. 531 00:38:16,211 --> 00:38:18,421 Hiyo sio dalili nzuri kamwe. 532 00:38:19,756 --> 00:38:25,845 Wakati huo huo yule mtoto mchanga aliamua kusimama - 533 00:38:25,929 --> 00:38:28,306 na kuchukua hatua zake za kwanza. 534 00:38:35,772 --> 00:38:36,773 Sawa. 535 00:38:37,982 --> 00:38:40,068 Unathubutu! 536 00:38:42,695 --> 00:38:43,947 Kwa nini alifanya hivi? 537 00:38:44,030 --> 00:38:48,743 Je, ingefaa kujifunza? kusoma hali kabla ya kutembea? 538 00:38:52,580 --> 00:38:54,916 Nilishindana naye. 539 00:38:56,918 --> 00:38:58,461 Asante sana. 540 00:39:00,630 --> 00:39:03,800 Fiona Cauley ni mmoja wa bora. 541 00:39:04,926 --> 00:39:06,094 Loo, sasa. 542 00:39:06,928 --> 00:39:09,722 Sijacheka zaidi jioni nzima. 543 00:39:09,806 --> 00:39:13,977 Hatua ya kuanzia ilikuwa ya kusisimua. Inashangaza kabisa. 544 00:39:14,477 --> 00:39:15,353 Asante. 545 00:39:15,436 --> 00:39:18,940 Hadithi kama hizo ni zao wenyewe. 546 00:39:19,607 --> 00:39:25,446 Ni vizuri kuona ili wewe ukue mbele yetu. 547 00:39:26,990 --> 00:39:31,286 Ulikuwa na maonyesho mazuri kwenye The Tonight Show miezi michache tu iliyopita. 548 00:39:31,369 --> 00:39:32,453 Hivyo. 549 00:39:35,665 --> 00:39:36,958 Ilikwenda vizuri. 550 00:39:37,584 --> 00:39:38,459 Hivyo. - Ndiyo. 551 00:39:38,543 --> 00:39:41,838 Sasa uko kwenye onyesho la vichekesho tena. Nadhani ni poa. 552 00:39:46,301 --> 00:39:48,720 Kushangaza. Niambie jinsi maisha yanavyoenda. 553 00:39:48,803 --> 00:39:51,139 Unaonekana wa kushangaza. -Asante. 554 00:39:51,222 --> 00:39:56,477 Niliogopa ningeonekana kama skater, ambaye alipata ajali mbaya. 555 00:39:59,314 --> 00:40:03,151 Siwezi tu basi kwenda kutoka kwa maisha yangu ya zamani. 556 00:40:04,527 --> 00:40:05,445 Zaidi ya imani. 557 00:40:06,696 --> 00:40:07,780 Nini kinaendelea? 558 00:40:07,864 --> 00:40:11,159 Naam, nimeolewa sasa. Inaendelea. 559 00:40:11,701 --> 00:40:12,577 Sawa. -Ndio. 560 00:40:13,578 --> 00:40:16,080 Miezi miwili. 561 00:40:16,664 --> 00:40:20,710 Maisha yamebadilikaje? - Ni ngumu. 562 00:40:20,793 --> 00:40:23,338 Natania. Inaendelea vizuri. 563 00:40:23,421 --> 00:40:24,505 Niliipenda. 564 00:40:24,589 --> 00:40:27,717 Tulikwenda kwenye honeymoon yetu. - Kuendesha gari? 565 00:40:27,800 --> 00:40:31,679 Tulikwenda Cabo. - Ulifanya nini huko? 566 00:40:33,014 --> 00:40:37,685 Haijafanyika Mexico kuhusu watu wenye ulemavu. 567 00:40:39,145 --> 00:40:41,397 Nilijifunza kwa njia ngumu. 568 00:40:42,440 --> 00:40:43,608 Sisi - 569 00:40:44,484 --> 00:40:46,569 tunatua Cabo. 570 00:40:46,653 --> 00:40:52,241 Tuliposhuka kwenye ndege, kwa kawaida kuna njia panda. 571 00:40:53,284 --> 00:40:54,202 Haikuwa hivyo. 572 00:40:55,244 --> 00:40:59,290 Kulikuwa na ngazi hizo damn tu. 573 00:40:59,874 --> 00:41:03,127 Ilikuwa ni hali ya parkour kidogo. 574 00:41:04,879 --> 00:41:07,882 Napenda changamoto, 575 00:41:07,966 --> 00:41:12,261 lakini kulikuwa na msichana mwingine mlemavu kwenye ndege. 576 00:41:12,345 --> 00:41:14,764 Alikuwa amepooza kuanzia kiunoni kwenda chini. 577 00:41:15,515 --> 00:41:18,559 Alinitazama na kusema, “Kuzimu nini? 578 00:41:20,395 --> 00:41:22,105 tufanye nini?" 579 00:41:22,188 --> 00:41:24,774 Nilisema lifti italetwa kwetu. 580 00:41:25,274 --> 00:41:27,652 Tony huleta. - Ndiyo. 581 00:41:28,319 --> 00:41:30,905 Ninafanya, na ni lifti ya gharama kubwa. 582 00:41:31,614 --> 00:41:32,991 Ndiyo. - Basi nini kilitokea? 583 00:41:33,074 --> 00:41:38,246 Ulibebwa chini? - Msichana alijitupa nje ya kiti chake. 584 00:41:38,913 --> 00:41:42,000 Alipanda ngazi za damn mtindo wa jeshi. 585 00:41:43,418 --> 00:41:45,461 Ilikuwa ni jambo coolest nimeona. 586 00:41:45,545 --> 00:41:50,008 Nilijaribu kupiga naye picha, lakini alikuwa na haraka sana. 587 00:41:53,011 --> 00:41:55,513 Zaidi ya imani. Ulishukaje? 588 00:41:56,222 --> 00:41:57,932 Mimi? -Kwa hiyo. 589 00:41:58,016 --> 00:42:00,643 Nilimfanya mdogo wangu anibebe. 590 00:42:00,727 --> 00:42:02,812 Nzuri, ulifanya jambo sahihi. - Ndiyo. 591 00:42:03,938 --> 00:42:05,314 Damn nzuri. 592 00:42:06,899 --> 00:42:07,775 Ndiyo. 593 00:42:09,819 --> 00:42:10,820 Kushangaza. 594 00:42:10,903 --> 00:42:14,240 Tunapenda nini kuhusu Fiona? - Mungu, kwanza kabisa ... 595 00:42:16,826 --> 00:42:20,038 Ninapenda asili yako. Wewe ni charismatic kiasili. 596 00:42:20,121 --> 00:42:22,707 Unachekesha na unajitambua. 597 00:42:22,790 --> 00:42:26,377 Ulinitazama uliposema kwamba Mexico haikupendi. 598 00:42:27,211 --> 00:42:30,590 Nikawaza, “Waliopooza hunipendi." 599 00:42:32,008 --> 00:42:34,802 Unachekesha kweli. 600 00:42:34,886 --> 00:42:37,055 Haishangazi, kwamba ulikuwa kwenye The Tonight Show. 601 00:42:37,138 --> 00:42:39,015 Walikupiga marufuku nini? 602 00:42:40,558 --> 00:42:41,726 Hivyo. 603 00:42:41,809 --> 00:42:47,398 Nilikuwa nawaza tu. Kama Rob alisema, hujui ni wachekeshaji wangapi - 604 00:42:48,691 --> 00:42:51,652 inapaswa kukushukuru kwa jukwaa. 605 00:42:52,403 --> 00:42:55,990 Baadhi ya maonyesho ya vichekesho kuwazomea watu tu. 606 00:42:56,074 --> 00:42:59,035 Wengine huwapata. -Hii ndiyo. 607 00:43:00,787 --> 00:43:05,291 Na baadhi yao huonyesha watu wazimu. 608 00:43:06,334 --> 00:43:07,668 Asante, Tony. - Ni muhimu. 609 00:43:07,752 --> 00:43:10,379 Asante. -Zote tatu zinatumika kwa hili. 610 00:43:10,463 --> 00:43:11,672 Hiyo ni kweli. 611 00:43:12,590 --> 00:43:14,717 Ningeweza kukusikiliza siku nzima. 612 00:43:14,801 --> 00:43:18,221 Natarajia onyesho lako mwenyewe. Najua utapata moja. 613 00:43:18,304 --> 00:43:20,890 Kusikiliza kungechukua siku nzima. -Wewe ni mcheshi. 614 00:43:20,973 --> 00:43:23,101 Ulikuwa mzuri. -Ulikuwa mcheshi sana. 615 00:43:23,976 --> 00:43:27,522 Nilidhani lifti ilikuwa kwa ajili yangu. Sasa nimeelewa. 616 00:43:28,106 --> 00:43:30,608 Nilidhani ningeepushwa na ngazi. 617 00:43:33,402 --> 00:43:36,531 Unaweza kufanya hivi. Siwezi kuhusiana na hadithi ya ndege, 618 00:43:36,614 --> 00:43:39,242 kwa sababu ninaruka kwa ndege ya kibinafsi. 619 00:43:39,742 --> 00:43:42,036 Nakubaliana na kila kitu kingine. 620 00:43:42,662 --> 00:43:45,540 Ilikuwa nzuri. 621 00:43:45,623 --> 00:43:48,626 Rob Schneider ana lifti kwenye ndege yake binafsi 622 00:43:48,709 --> 00:43:50,670 na anaweza kutembea. 623 00:43:52,255 --> 00:43:55,424 Kutembea ni kwa maskini. Nakubali. 624 00:43:56,384 --> 00:44:01,430 Ni njia ya kizamani ya kusonga mbele. Kukua na kupata kiti. 625 00:44:01,514 --> 00:44:04,308 Unaleta watu kwako. Ni maalum. 626 00:44:04,392 --> 00:44:07,687 Wanataka kusikia kila neno lako. Uliruhusu litokee. 627 00:44:07,770 --> 00:44:09,355 Pat mgongoni. Hii ilikuwa ya kushangaza. 628 00:44:09,438 --> 00:44:11,774 Asante. -Pata mgongoni. Kazi kubwa. 629 00:44:11,858 --> 00:44:17,113 Umepigwa teke mtoto inaonekana kama furaha. 630 00:44:17,196 --> 00:44:19,365 Hivyo. - Inawezaje kuwa? 631 00:44:20,575 --> 00:44:22,034 Ilikuwa furaha kila wakati. 632 00:44:25,830 --> 00:44:28,791 Hebu tumsikie mkuu Roseanne Barr. 633 00:44:29,292 --> 00:44:33,337 Nilitaka kusema kwamba umeandika hadithi impeccably. 634 00:44:33,921 --> 00:44:36,507 Muda wako ni wa ajabu. 635 00:44:37,300 --> 00:44:41,721 Ninapenda jinsi unavyonong'ona vitu vyako. 636 00:44:42,388 --> 00:44:45,850 Je, unajua? Una - 637 00:44:47,143 --> 00:44:53,024 njia ya kipekee ya kueleza mambo. Hadithi yenyewe - 638 00:44:55,568 --> 00:44:59,655 tayari amezaliwa kutokana na utazamaji wako. Nilishawahi kusema 639 00:44:59,739 --> 00:45:02,992 kwamba anahisi ushindi. 640 00:45:03,075 --> 00:45:07,914 Unageuza vichekesho kuwa uchawi wa uponyaji. 641 00:45:07,997 --> 00:45:13,044 Vichekesho vinaweza kufanya hivyo. Wewe ni mzuri tu. 642 00:45:15,379 --> 00:45:20,051 Asante sana. Ninashukuru sana hilo. 643 00:45:20,134 --> 00:45:25,890 Roseanne alikuwa katika mchezo wangu wa kwanza wa Kill Tony. Ni vizuri kukuona sasa - 644 00:45:25,973 --> 00:45:29,060 zaidi ya mwaka mmoja na nusu baadaye. 645 00:45:29,143 --> 00:45:32,688 Nimeguswa tu. Hii ni kweli kubwa. 646 00:45:32,772 --> 00:45:35,066 Wewe ni mzuri. - Utafanya vizuri. 647 00:45:36,192 --> 00:45:41,239 Tayari unanyonya na kunyonya njia yako hadi juu. - Hiyo ni kweli. 648 00:45:43,866 --> 00:45:47,036 Mpe makofi Fiona Cauley mzuri. 649 00:45:49,747 --> 00:45:56,295 Umempata hapa. Yeye ni Fiona Cauley wetu mwenyewe na wa ajabu. 650 00:45:56,921 --> 00:45:58,130 Redban. 651 00:46:03,678 --> 00:46:06,264 Redban inabonyeza kengele ya kughairiwa. 652 00:46:09,642 --> 00:46:14,063 Pia tunayo kamera ya kurudi nyuma ya Fiona, ambayo sisi hutumia kila wakati. 653 00:46:14,146 --> 00:46:16,065 Tutamwona akiondoka? 654 00:46:16,691 --> 00:46:21,404 Tena: yeye ni Fiona. Huko anarudi chini duniani. 655 00:46:21,487 --> 00:46:25,992 Kill Tony hufanya zaidi ya shirika la ndege kwa walemavu. 656 00:46:27,743 --> 00:46:29,954 Sasa. Nilitoa jina kutoka kwenye ndoo. 657 00:46:30,037 --> 00:46:32,331 Tunakutana na kijana pamoja. Hili ni jina la kichaa. 658 00:46:32,415 --> 00:46:35,668 Tunakukaribisha Elvis Bulldozer. 659 00:46:35,751 --> 00:46:37,837 Elvis Bulldozer. 660 00:46:53,811 --> 00:46:55,354 Habari Austin! 661 00:46:57,982 --> 00:47:01,527 Mwanamume mmoja hivi karibuni aliuliza: "Je, wewe kama cowboys?" 662 00:47:01,610 --> 00:47:05,990 Nikasema, “Hakika. Tunaishi Texas. Wapo kila mahali." 663 00:47:06,824 --> 00:47:08,868 Aliuliza, "Unapenda nini kuhusu viungo?" 664 00:47:08,951 --> 00:47:11,746 "Hakika, ninaipenda sana. Wana wasichana wa ng'ombe ndani yao." 665 00:47:12,330 --> 00:47:17,043 "Unapendaje kupiga kambi?" "Hayo ni maisha ya cowboy." 666 00:47:17,126 --> 00:47:21,297 Tuliamua kwenda kupiga kambi mahali panapoitwa - 667 00:47:21,380 --> 00:47:23,090 Mlima wa Brokeback. 668 00:47:25,801 --> 00:47:28,679 Chakula cha jioni kilinifanya nipate usingizi. 669 00:47:28,763 --> 00:47:30,931 Sikukumbuka chochote kuhusu jioni. 670 00:47:32,224 --> 00:47:34,769 Unajua nilichogundua kuhusu kupiga kambi? 671 00:47:34,852 --> 00:47:37,063 Inaniumiza. 672 00:47:39,148 --> 00:47:42,943 Ilifanyika hivyo, kwamba mjukuu wangu aliacha ujumbe. 673 00:47:43,527 --> 00:47:47,239 Ilisomeka: "Weka kwa bidii, punda wako.” 674 00:47:49,033 --> 00:47:52,036 Funnest ilikuwa kwamba ulikuwa mwandiko wa kamuni mpya. 675 00:47:54,246 --> 00:47:55,831 Nitauliza juu yake, 676 00:47:55,915 --> 00:47:59,293 tunapotembea wikendi Kwa Brokeback Mountain. 677 00:47:59,960 --> 00:48:03,547 Walakini, hatupiga kambi. Tunatangatanga tu na kutombana. 678 00:48:05,674 --> 00:48:07,009 Muda uliisha. 679 00:48:07,093 --> 00:48:11,555 Hivi ndivyo tunavyorudi kwenye programu ya kawaida. 680 00:48:11,639 --> 00:48:14,016 Nimekuwa katika hali hii hapo awali. 681 00:48:14,100 --> 00:48:20,022 Kichaa ananguruma jukwaani. Hii ni kawaida kuua Tonya. 682 00:48:20,648 --> 00:48:24,360 Hivyo. - Kwa hivyo umekuwa kwenye onyesho hapo awali. 683 00:48:24,443 --> 00:48:27,238 Ninakukumbuka, lakini jambo la Elvis ni mpya. 684 00:48:27,321 --> 00:48:30,199 Je, unatafuta mwanzo mpya ukitumia wigi na miwani? 685 00:48:30,282 --> 00:48:35,037 Nitavua vazi langu ili uweze kunitambua. -Wazi. 686 00:48:35,955 --> 00:48:37,748 Sasa. - Forrest Gump. 687 00:48:37,832 --> 00:48:40,501 Wazi. Bado si… 688 00:48:40,584 --> 00:48:44,088 Mambo yangu yalikuwa mashindano ya ngoma. -Haki. 689 00:48:44,171 --> 00:48:46,924 Mashindano ya kwanza ya ngoma ya kila mwaka na aina ya fimbo. 690 00:48:47,007 --> 00:48:50,094 Wigi ilianguka kwenye bega lako. 691 00:48:50,594 --> 00:48:53,764 Fanya hivi. Hapana, wakati kwenye bega lingine. 692 00:48:54,640 --> 00:48:56,851 Alikuwa mpiga ngoma mzuri mara ya mwisho, Tony. 693 00:48:57,518 --> 00:48:59,979 Sina nywele nyingi hivyo. - Sio lazima. 694 00:49:00,062 --> 00:49:03,357 Umejaribu kwa muda gani? kusimama comedy? 695 00:49:03,441 --> 00:49:06,270 Hii ni kama mara ya kumi na tano. -Kumi na tano. 696 00:49:06,345 --> 00:49:07,903 Umeenda kumuua Tony mara mbili. 697 00:49:07,987 --> 00:49:10,614 Unapenda sana… - Mara moja tu. 698 00:49:10,698 --> 00:49:12,491 Hii ni mara ya pili. -Haki. 699 00:49:12,575 --> 00:49:14,076 Sasa umekuwa mara mbili. 700 00:49:15,578 --> 00:49:17,830 Ndiyo, moja na moja ni mbili. Kweli. 701 00:49:18,414 --> 00:49:22,918 Ulimalizaje na tabia ya Elvis? 702 00:49:23,002 --> 00:49:27,590 Ungeweza kufanya hivyo bila hairstyle ya Elvis na glasi. 703 00:49:28,340 --> 00:49:33,095 Jambo la Elvis halikuongeza chochote kwenye mzaha. 704 00:49:33,888 --> 00:49:35,556 Ninacheza Elvis. 705 00:49:35,639 --> 00:49:38,726 Haikuwa hakuna cha kufanya na mzaha. 706 00:49:38,809 --> 00:49:40,769 Hivyo ndivyo nilivyokuwa nikifikiria. - Ndio, sio kweli. 707 00:49:40,853 --> 00:49:43,105 Nina utani wa Elvis. - Ninasema tu. 708 00:49:43,189 --> 00:49:45,441 Umeweka mipaka leo. 709 00:49:45,524 --> 00:49:48,569 Tuambie kitu kichaa kuhusu maisha yako. 710 00:49:50,029 --> 00:49:51,614 Nimefurahi uliuliza. 711 00:49:51,697 --> 00:49:56,994 Mimi ni mpiga risasi, darasa la pili, 1981-85 USS Mlima Vernon, LSD-39. 712 00:49:59,830 --> 00:50:03,584 Asante kwa huduma yako, lakini sio kwenye vichekesho. Pole tu. 713 00:50:04,960 --> 00:50:07,505 Niliweka paka 57 kwa ajili ya kuasili. 714 00:50:08,255 --> 00:50:09,381 Je! -Hii ndiyo. 715 00:50:09,924 --> 00:50:14,345 Usiku mmoja kulikuwa na paka kwenye karakana yangu. Kulikuwa na paka wawili wajawazito. 716 00:50:14,428 --> 00:50:16,847 Mmoja alikuwa kwenye mtaro. Hapo ndipo ilipoanzia. 717 00:50:16,931 --> 00:50:21,185 Nilitoa watoto wa mbwa 57 kwa kuasili. Nilipoteza takriban paka 60 wa nje. 718 00:50:21,936 --> 00:50:24,021 Niliandika kitabu kuhusu hilo. 719 00:50:24,104 --> 00:50:28,192 Ulitoa watoto wa mbwa 57 kwa kuasili? - paka 57. 720 00:50:28,275 --> 00:50:29,902 Lo, paka. -Swali. 721 00:50:29,985 --> 00:50:33,113 Je, hilo wigi limetengenezwa na paka mmoja? 722 00:50:33,781 --> 00:50:38,118 Inawezekana. -Kwa nini ulitaka paka nyingi? 723 00:50:38,202 --> 00:50:40,829 Ni wazimu kama kuzimu. - Hiyo ni wazimu. 724 00:50:40,913 --> 00:50:44,458 Ilianza tu na tatu kuhusu paka na takataka. 725 00:50:44,542 --> 00:50:48,504 Nilitembea hadi Woodlands Mall na mkokoteni. 726 00:50:48,587 --> 00:50:51,757 Kulikuwa na ishara kwenye gari: "Paka wa bure." 727 00:50:51,840 --> 00:50:56,220 Inasikitisha, lakini ilifanya kazi. Niliweka watoto wengi wa mbwa kwa ajili ya kupitishwa. 728 00:50:57,596 --> 00:51:02,268 Inaonekana watazamaji wanachukia kupitishwa kwa kitten. 729 00:51:02,351 --> 00:51:05,771 Tulipata hadhira, ambaye anataka paka wafe. 730 00:51:05,854 --> 00:51:07,314 Watu wa kutisha! 731 00:51:08,148 --> 00:51:11,860 Watu wa kutisha, nani hapendi paka! 732 00:51:11,944 --> 00:51:14,863 Ni watazamaji wa aina gani... - Mungu, hii ni nini? 733 00:51:14,947 --> 00:51:18,742 Nani huwalisha paka? 734 00:51:21,203 --> 00:51:25,833 Ninyi ni watu wabaya. Naam, Elvis. 735 00:51:25,916 --> 00:51:30,963 Utani wako kuhusu ngono ya mkundu ulionekana wazi. 736 00:51:33,799 --> 00:51:39,263 Haikuwa ya kuchekesha. Kuwa mkundu sio furaha. 737 00:51:40,472 --> 00:51:42,725 Siyo. - Ninaamini neno lako. 738 00:51:43,392 --> 00:51:46,478 Huko anaenda, watazamaji wazuri, Elvis Bulldozer. 739 00:51:46,562 --> 00:51:48,856 Asante. - Bahati nzuri, dude. 740 00:51:49,982 --> 00:51:53,027 Anaenda Elvis. 741 00:51:53,110 --> 00:51:56,739 Hali imewekwa upya. Hii haiaminiki. 742 00:51:56,822 --> 00:52:00,868 Aina hii imeonekana mara mbili katika programu yetu. 743 00:52:00,951 --> 00:52:05,623 Yeye pia ni kipenzi kikubwa Katika shindano la Mgeni Bora wa Mwaka. 744 00:52:05,706 --> 00:52:10,919 Piga makofi kwa walio wa kipekee Kwa Karoti Juu! 745 00:52:24,391 --> 00:52:27,936 Hadithi! Usiinuke. Usiinuke. 746 00:52:28,687 --> 00:52:31,774 Unaweza kuamka. Wewe huna. Asante, bendi. 747 00:52:32,733 --> 00:52:33,692 Hadhira. 748 00:52:35,110 --> 00:52:37,279 Nyinyi ni wa ajabu. Jamani. 749 00:52:39,198 --> 00:52:41,450 Naam, hiyo ndiyo yote. 750 00:52:45,579 --> 00:52:48,232 Nina mzaha mmoja tu, kwa hivyo tafadhali piga simu tena. 751 00:52:48,791 --> 00:52:52,461 Kila mtu anapata Krismasi, wanachotaka. ulipata 752 00:52:52,544 --> 00:52:56,131 Sijui nilipata nini. Nimekuwa nikisubiri onyesho hili. 753 00:52:56,215 --> 00:53:00,427 Kama mtoto, anatetemeka na kufikiria: "Jamani, inaweza kuwa pete ya uume." 754 00:53:02,221 --> 00:53:05,516 Kwa hivyo nilifanya kwa baba. "Pete ya uume?" Akawaza, "Kuzimu ni nini?" 755 00:53:05,599 --> 00:53:09,520 Kisha wakaninunulia moja. Baba alisema, "Vema, jaribu." 756 00:53:11,021 --> 00:53:15,359 Sijui hata hii ni nini. Hebu tujue. Kusisimua. 757 00:53:16,527 --> 00:53:19,363 Ni… Shit shit, hiyo ni mkoba wa P. Diddy. 758 00:53:20,906 --> 00:53:24,535 Hii jamani... 759 00:53:24,618 --> 00:53:28,372 Siku zote nilitaka kama zawadi Mkoba wa P. Diddy. 760 00:53:29,832 --> 00:53:33,210 Hii ni kwenye Netflix. Wacha tupate pesa. 761 00:53:35,129 --> 00:53:38,090 Hii ni bia kwa wasagaji. Kwa njia hii wanaweza… 762 00:53:39,007 --> 00:53:42,052 Hapana, lakini kila mtu anaweza. Mtu yeyote. 763 00:53:43,011 --> 00:53:45,848 Wanaume wanataka kunywa Bud Light tena. 764 00:53:47,266 --> 00:53:50,561 Kweli? Pole. Nitaweka vipande kwenye jukwaa la bendi. 765 00:53:51,270 --> 00:53:55,023 Huyu alikuwa mwanasesere wa Pee-Wee Herman. Umeona? 766 00:53:55,607 --> 00:53:56,608 Lazima. 767 00:53:58,527 --> 00:54:02,156 Oh shit. Nyie mnachekesha. 768 00:54:02,239 --> 00:54:07,369 Ifuatayo ni ya kushangaza kutambulisha, wakati unakaa ndani yake, Fluffy. 769 00:54:07,911 --> 00:54:09,788 Nimepata trei yako ya bafe. 770 00:54:09,872 --> 00:54:12,374 sijui kama ulijua. 771 00:54:12,875 --> 00:54:15,043 Unajua nakupenda. 772 00:54:17,171 --> 00:54:18,338 Na si kwamba wote! 773 00:54:20,507 --> 00:54:21,717 Ina hata… 774 00:54:22,426 --> 00:54:25,429 Hata kuna kengele hapa, jamani. Inahitajika. 775 00:54:26,221 --> 00:54:29,475 Wewe subiri. Ninaeneza uchafu. 776 00:54:30,642 --> 00:54:34,271 Hii ni furaha kwenye ndege. Jirani anapolala, tunamwamsha. 777 00:54:34,354 --> 00:54:36,982 "Jamani, tunaanguka!" 778 00:54:40,527 --> 00:54:44,281 Hizi ni jeans zilizopigwa kwa mafuta. 779 00:54:45,365 --> 00:54:48,035 Ikiwa ungeweza kuvaa, hiyo itakuwa ya kufurahisha. 780 00:54:49,661 --> 00:54:52,581 Maeneo yenye fujo. Na sivyo! Chapeo ya machifu imepatikana. 781 00:54:52,664 --> 00:54:55,459 Wana kofia mpya ya Wakuu. Je, umeiona? 782 00:54:55,542 --> 00:54:58,921 Nilijaribu kofia ya Dallas kwanza. 783 00:55:02,758 --> 00:55:06,345 Sasa. Ninazidi kuwa maarufu! 784 00:55:08,096 --> 00:55:12,434 Hii ilihitaji ujuzi wa uhandisi. Hii ni handbag kwa wanawake. 785 00:55:12,518 --> 00:55:15,813 Ikiwa mtu anahitaji kisodo, inaweza kupigwa kwenye bar. 786 00:55:17,439 --> 00:55:21,360 Lo! Samahani, Roseanne. Hakuna shit. 787 00:55:22,319 --> 00:55:24,029 Nilitengeneza ujinga huu wote. 788 00:55:24,112 --> 00:55:27,157 Wafua chuma wa duka la jasho walijengwa, lakini nilitengeneza haya. 789 00:55:29,201 --> 00:55:31,370 Hapa kuna mkoba mwingine wa wanawake. 790 00:55:31,453 --> 00:55:34,706 Unaamua ni mwanaume gani unaenda nyumbani. Ni lazima tu… 791 00:55:36,834 --> 00:55:39,545 Angalia kama kuna mchumba mkubwa. Pengine unaelewa. 792 00:55:41,547 --> 00:55:43,799 Hiyo ndiyo maarufu zaidi hadi sasa. 793 00:55:43,882 --> 00:55:46,802 “Mbona wewe si kama kaka yako? Walifanikiwa.” 794 00:55:47,928 --> 00:55:51,431 Huu ni mkoba wa kahaba. Hivi ndivyo wanavyoharibu… 795 00:55:53,267 --> 00:55:57,437 Huu ni utani wa zamani. Haya ni mambo ya kizamani. 796 00:55:58,355 --> 00:56:00,732 Pia kuna mambo ya mwaka mpya hapa. 797 00:56:00,816 --> 00:56:02,526 Je, niliwaleta? 798 00:56:03,318 --> 00:56:05,821 Tuna sanduku la mambo ya mwaka mpya. 799 00:56:05,904 --> 00:56:07,322 Hapo ndipo inapotoka. 800 00:56:07,865 --> 00:56:10,075 Hao ndio vibaraka wangu wa duka la jasho. Asante! 801 00:56:11,285 --> 00:56:13,328 Asante sana guys. 802 00:56:13,412 --> 00:56:17,082 Asante. Ni vizuri kukuamini. Mrembo. 803 00:56:19,626 --> 00:56:23,547 Hii nilifanya halisi nyuma ya pazia tu. 804 00:56:23,630 --> 00:56:26,800 Hii ni Charlie Sheen kisafisha utupu. Tazama. 805 00:56:28,051 --> 00:56:30,304 Tafadhali subiri. Jamani. 806 00:56:31,597 --> 00:56:34,558 Kumbuka kuwa mimi si mcheshi wa kusimama. Mickey ya fucking. 807 00:56:34,641 --> 00:56:38,145 Tazama hii. Lazima uone hii. 808 00:56:39,688 --> 00:56:40,564 Tazama. 809 00:56:41,523 --> 00:56:44,610 Mambo yanakuwa mazuri hapa. Angalia jambo hili jamani. 810 00:56:48,488 --> 00:56:52,492 Kuna kunyonya. Ni kweli! 811 00:56:53,744 --> 00:56:54,953 Hivi ndivyo ninavyosafisha. 812 00:56:55,621 --> 00:56:57,205 Chukua hiyo. -Asante. 813 00:56:57,748 --> 00:57:00,792 Hii inachukua muda mrefu kuliko inavyopaswa. 814 00:57:00,876 --> 00:57:02,628 Moja zaidi… Fuck hii. 815 00:57:02,711 --> 00:57:07,799 Pole. Je, ninaweza kuendelea? Wazi. Nyie ni moto. 816 00:57:10,677 --> 00:57:11,595 Nyie ni moto. 817 00:57:12,930 --> 00:57:15,349 Hii ni kwa wanawake tu usiku wa leo. 818 00:57:15,432 --> 00:57:17,017 Unapolewa kwenye Mwaka Mpya - 819 00:57:17,100 --> 00:57:19,937 na kuanza kutapika, kiti cha choo kinaweza kushikilia nywele. 820 00:57:23,106 --> 00:57:27,319 Akina mama sio lazima wafanye shit. Hiyo ilikuwa nzuri kabisa. 821 00:57:29,738 --> 00:57:32,240 Baada ya yote, likizo ziliadhimishwa tu. 822 00:57:32,324 --> 00:57:35,744 Kiti hiki kingezuia wageni kutokana na kucheka. Je, unaona? 823 00:57:39,456 --> 00:57:41,541 Hebu tuchukue moja zaidi. 824 00:57:42,167 --> 00:57:45,170 Hii lazima ionyeshwe. Ni kwa usiku wa leo tu. 825 00:57:45,253 --> 00:57:49,341 Hii ni kwa wapweke, ili waweze kugonga toast. 826 00:57:50,634 --> 00:57:53,512 Je, unasikia? "Heri ya Mwaka Mpya, Chuck." 827 00:57:56,431 --> 00:57:57,557 "Vivyo hivyo, Scott." 828 00:58:00,352 --> 00:58:02,104 Damn, nyie ni baridi. 829 00:58:02,729 --> 00:58:06,233 Inayofuata… Damn, mimi tayari ni mzee. 830 00:58:06,984 --> 00:58:10,112 Inayofuata. Asante. 831 00:58:11,363 --> 00:58:12,364 Ningeweza kufa. 832 00:58:13,073 --> 00:58:14,074 Asante. 833 00:58:16,284 --> 00:58:20,664 Sasa… Asante. Mama na baba wako hapa. Asante, Mama na Baba. 834 00:58:21,456 --> 00:58:24,209 Nitapoteza kazi yangu kwa ijayo. 835 00:58:24,292 --> 00:58:29,256 Ninapochapisha hii nawaza, utani gani wa zamani. Sio nzuri. 836 00:58:30,007 --> 00:58:31,925 Mkanda huu ni wa Richard Gere, 837 00:58:33,844 --> 00:58:36,763 kwa gerbil yake kupata mazoezi, inapotoka. 838 00:58:38,432 --> 00:58:41,768 Huenda nikahitaji wakili usiku wa leo. 839 00:58:43,854 --> 00:58:47,065 Naam, ya mwisho. Huu ni ujumbe kutoka kwangu kwako. 840 00:58:47,149 --> 00:58:50,402 Unapotoka kunywa, mlazimishe rafiki yako kufanya hivi. 841 00:58:50,485 --> 00:58:52,070 Anapoondoka, 842 00:58:52,154 --> 00:58:55,532 acha kulewa kwake wapi uongo 843 00:58:58,326 --> 00:59:00,120 Heri ya Mwaka Mpya kila mtu! 844 00:59:00,746 --> 00:59:04,666 Karoti Juu imefanya tena, watu. 845 00:59:06,460 --> 00:59:09,838 Siku zote anapiga muni. 846 00:59:12,883 --> 00:59:16,595 Karoti Juu ni moja bora katika historia ya show. 847 00:59:19,639 --> 00:59:22,142 Baraka kwa wote! Asante kwa neema. 848 00:59:22,225 --> 00:59:26,313 Ukiendelea kumbusu hivyo, Bado nitakuwa Karoti Chini. 849 00:59:27,064 --> 00:59:28,440 Watazamaji wapendwa, 850 00:59:28,523 --> 00:59:31,693 yeye ni mmoja wa bora katika show, wageni wa kawaida. 851 00:59:31,777 --> 00:59:36,073 Kijana huyu amepata mambo mengi - 852 00:59:36,156 --> 00:59:38,200 na anatoka nchi ya mbali. 853 00:59:39,785 --> 00:59:45,582 Hapana shaka hivi karibuni anakuwa raia wa Marekani. 854 00:59:46,500 --> 00:59:52,714 Leo bado yuko "Muuaji wa Kiestonia" Ari Matti! 855 01:00:45,100 --> 01:00:49,146 Unajua BBL ni nini? 856 01:00:51,148 --> 01:00:53,525 Kiinua kitako cha Brazil. 857 01:00:54,860 --> 01:00:57,195 Sitaki mwanamke kabisa, aliye nayo 858 01:00:57,279 --> 01:01:02,075 kwa sababu ninahitaji chochote isipokuwa umbali. 859 01:01:06,788 --> 01:01:10,083 Ikiwa utaongeza, pussy ni salama kutoka kwangu. 860 01:01:11,334 --> 01:01:13,920 Jogoo wangu anapiga nusu. 861 01:01:18,258 --> 01:01:22,012 Jogoo wangu anaweza kuwa mdogo, lakini unajua ninatoa nini? 862 01:01:22,095 --> 01:01:24,472 kifungua kinywa kubwa. 863 01:01:26,808 --> 01:01:27,809 Ni muhimu, 864 01:01:27,893 --> 01:01:31,813 wakisindikizwa na wanawake wa miaka thelathini. Kifurushi ndicho muhimu. 865 01:01:33,565 --> 01:01:37,694 Unapoamka mahali pangu, pata omelette ya jibini la mbuzi. Pam! 866 01:01:38,570 --> 01:01:40,697 Kuna nyanya za cherry katika omelette. 867 01:01:42,115 --> 01:01:44,451 Sio moto sana, laini ya kutosha. 868 01:01:46,036 --> 01:01:49,206 Wakati omeleti inapoingia kinywani, yai langu limesahaulika. 869 01:01:51,666 --> 01:01:56,046 Wanaume wenye mipira midogo wana vyumba nzuri. 870 01:01:57,672 --> 01:02:02,010 Nina bandari ya USB-C kwenye kochi langu, jamani. 871 01:02:03,053 --> 01:02:05,347 Kuna mishumaa na Feng Shui. 872 01:02:06,973 --> 01:02:09,976 Je! umekuwa? katika ghorofa ya punda mwenye macho makubwa? 873 01:02:10,727 --> 01:02:12,395 Kitanda cha kitanda hakipo. 874 01:02:14,564 --> 01:02:16,524 Ni roommate creepy. 875 01:02:17,317 --> 01:02:19,694 Vipande vya barafu vina ladha ya mboga. 876 01:02:22,656 --> 01:02:26,868 Kidhibiti cha mbali cha TV kina betri, lakini kifuniko cha nyuma hakipo. 877 01:02:32,749 --> 01:02:36,336 Dick kubwa inatoweka kwa dakika 15. 878 01:02:36,419 --> 01:02:38,964 Hakuna kinachotokea kwa saa 23 zilizobaki. 879 01:02:40,382 --> 01:02:42,759 Nilicheka kwa dakika nne, 880 01:02:43,468 --> 01:02:46,346 na kuna siku nzima ya shughuli mbele. 881 01:02:48,515 --> 01:02:49,933 Tunakwenda kupanda. 882 01:02:50,725 --> 01:02:52,435 Tunacheza Ukiritimba. 883 01:02:53,311 --> 01:02:55,772 Ninazungumza juu ya mama yangu aliyekufa. 884 01:02:57,148 --> 01:03:00,277 Nitaelezea mzozo kati ya Urusi na Ukraine. 885 01:03:02,988 --> 01:03:04,656 Unajifunza, kahaba. 886 01:03:07,200 --> 01:03:09,577 Nina kitanda cha kulala cha Helix. 887 01:03:10,537 --> 01:03:13,164 Inasimamia joto la mwili. 888 01:03:14,624 --> 01:03:19,087 Jogoo wakubwa ni wa kushangaza. Je, ni bora zaidi? Usingizi wa REM. 889 01:03:24,384 --> 01:03:28,638 Unaamka umeburudishwa mahali pangu na pussy intact. 890 01:03:32,100 --> 01:03:36,646 Usiondoke kwangu kwa aibu, lakini twende kazini. 891 01:03:38,606 --> 01:03:40,442 Utafanya vizuri katika mahojiano, mpenzi. 892 01:03:43,903 --> 01:03:48,408 Wanaume wenye mayai madogo ni watu wanaofanya kazi ngumu zaidi kwenye sayari. 893 01:03:49,492 --> 01:03:53,371 Kila mtu aliye nayo tikiti nzuri usiku wa leo, ni uume mdogo. 894 01:03:56,416 --> 01:03:59,627 Najua wachekeshaji wengi, na jogoo wakubwa. 895 01:04:00,920 --> 01:04:02,422 Hakuna mtu hapa. 896 01:04:12,849 --> 01:04:16,186 Nani mkubwa zaidi duniani nguvu za kiuchumi duniani? 897 01:04:16,770 --> 01:04:18,063 China. 898 01:04:22,025 --> 01:04:25,653 Punda mwenye macho madogo tu Hufanya kazi Temu - 899 01:04:26,363 --> 01:04:28,698 na tengeneza kinyago chako cha Shrek cha senti 90. 900 01:04:30,116 --> 01:04:32,452 Umekuwa China? Wao ni wakati ujao. 901 01:04:32,535 --> 01:04:35,747 Akili bandia hutengeneza barabara. Katika alfabeti hizo za kutisha - 902 01:04:35,830 --> 01:04:38,375 ishara moja inamaanisha vitu 700 tofauti. 903 01:04:42,170 --> 01:04:44,214 Umekuwa Afrika? 904 01:04:54,224 --> 01:04:59,229 Hawana hata lami wala wifi, nyumba ndogo tu na vilima vikubwa. 905 01:05:01,064 --> 01:05:04,192 Hakuna haja ya ChatGPT wakati "BBC". 906 01:05:06,569 --> 01:05:08,696 Nyinyi ni watu wa ajabu, Austin, Texas. Asante. 907 01:05:08,780 --> 01:05:11,950 Kuzimu nayo. Zaidi ya imani. 908 01:05:12,826 --> 01:05:17,247 Uwanja mzima na jopo akasimama na kupiga makofi. 909 01:05:19,707 --> 01:05:25,171 Zaidi ya imani. Ari Matti pekee wa kweli, watazamaji wazuri. 910 01:05:25,255 --> 01:05:29,259 Ari! Hii hakika ilikuwa utendaji bora wa usiku. 911 01:05:29,342 --> 01:05:33,221 Jamaa anajaribu kupata uraia hapa usiku wa leo. 912 01:05:35,432 --> 01:05:39,352 Nianze kwa kusema, kwamba mara ya mwisho nilikuona 913 01:05:39,436 --> 01:05:45,024 ulikuwa umevaa suruali ya jasho. Sasa ni mkesha wa mwaka mpya na unaonekana maridadi. 914 01:05:48,153 --> 01:05:52,657 Asante, Gabriel. Nimetoka tu kulelea watoto huko Minnesota. 915 01:05:56,327 --> 01:05:58,079 Ndugu zangu wa Somalia. 916 01:05:59,539 --> 01:06:01,499 Nitasema hivi, Ari: 917 01:06:01,583 --> 01:06:05,753 mwimbaji nyota anayefuata uume mdogo 918 01:06:09,466 --> 01:06:12,552 Yote uliyosema ni kweli. 919 01:06:12,635 --> 01:06:16,973 Kwa kweli sina fremu ya kitanda. Aiskrimu yangu ina ladha ya mboga. 920 01:06:17,849 --> 01:06:19,851 Ulikuwa sahihi kwa kila kitu. 921 01:06:22,145 --> 01:06:24,439 Kushangaza. Roseanne Barr? 922 01:06:24,522 --> 01:06:28,443 Nilipata pipi nyingi, 923 01:06:28,526 --> 01:06:31,279 kama nilivyoeleza mwanzoni mwa programu, 924 01:06:32,780 --> 01:06:37,952 na uko sahihi kabisa, 925 01:06:38,036 --> 01:06:41,498 kwamba wadogo kushinda. Ndivyo ilivyo. 926 01:06:42,040 --> 01:06:43,124 Asilimia mia moja. 927 01:06:43,208 --> 01:06:45,960 Asilimia mia kaka. - Tunafanya kazi kwa bidii. 928 01:06:46,711 --> 01:06:48,463 Hii ndio. 929 01:06:48,546 --> 01:06:50,749 Ninataka kukushukuru kwamba umeeneza habari. 930 01:06:50,824 --> 01:06:53,250 Tuna faida yetu. -Hasa. 931 01:06:54,219 --> 01:06:57,222 Je! unataka kiwango cha chini cha ardhi na mwanaume mwenye mayai makubwa - 932 01:06:57,305 --> 01:06:59,724 au unataka upenu na mimi? 933 01:07:04,103 --> 01:07:08,066 Jambo la hakika! Wewe ni nabii wa moja kwa moja. 934 01:07:10,735 --> 01:07:13,905 Kifurushi chako ni imara na vichekesho na mada. 935 01:07:13,988 --> 01:07:16,449 Nilizungumza nawe wakati wa wiki - 936 01:07:16,533 --> 01:07:21,162 kutoka kwa seti hii. Ulijaribu kuiweka kwa ufupi. 937 01:07:21,246 --> 01:07:23,414 Sawa. -Ulisema ni shida. 938 01:07:23,498 --> 01:07:24,707 Ni ndefu sana. -Kwa hiyo. 939 01:07:24,791 --> 01:07:27,252 Jana usiku ilidumu dakika saba na nusu. 940 01:07:27,335 --> 01:07:28,836 Nikawaza, "Oh shit." 941 01:07:29,963 --> 01:07:33,216 Walakini, sitaki kuwa mgumu bila sababu. 942 01:07:33,299 --> 01:07:36,386 Sitaki kupanga sana. Nilidhani mwisho ungegonga. 943 01:07:36,469 --> 01:07:40,765 Ikiwa najua mwisho, ni sawa. Ni mimi tu. 944 01:07:41,766 --> 01:07:44,727 Umeiweka kwa ufupi, na kama ulivyosema mwenyewe. 945 01:07:44,811 --> 01:07:47,105 Mfupi ni bora zaidi. - Hiyo ni kweli. 946 01:07:47,188 --> 01:07:50,191 Seti ndefu zaidi inaweza kuwa haikufanya kazi vile vile. 947 01:07:50,275 --> 01:07:51,985 Saba na nusu ni nyingi. 948 01:07:52,527 --> 01:07:55,613 Suruali yako ni mfano kamili. 949 01:07:57,240 --> 01:08:00,243 Huo ulikuwa mchezo mzuri sana, mpenzi. 950 01:08:00,326 --> 01:08:02,704 Asante. Nashukuru hilo. Wewe ni mtamu. 951 01:08:02,787 --> 01:08:07,500 Wewe ndiye mcheshi pekee uliyejinufaisha charismatically hatua nzima. 952 01:08:07,584 --> 01:08:13,047 Tayari wewe ni nyota kubwa rafiki yangu. 953 01:08:13,131 --> 01:08:14,132 Hivyo. -Asante. 954 01:08:14,215 --> 01:08:15,091 Kubwa. 955 01:08:17,427 --> 01:08:22,056 Ajabu, Ari. Huwezi kulinganishwa. 956 01:08:22,140 --> 01:08:26,477 Nilikuona ukitumbuiza angalau mara tano mwaka huu. 957 01:08:26,561 --> 01:08:30,732 Mimi huwaza kila mara, "Wakati umekaribia." 958 01:08:30,815 --> 01:08:32,525 Asante. - "Wakati umekaribia." 959 01:08:32,609 --> 01:08:38,031 Natamani ningekuwa mkubwa kama wewe. - Endelea kula, kaka, na utafanikiwa. 960 01:08:38,114 --> 01:08:40,908 Asante. Wewe ni rafiki. 961 01:08:41,909 --> 01:08:45,705 Kila wakati ninapokuona, unakuwa mcheshi zaidi. 962 01:08:45,788 --> 01:08:47,540 Ninajaribu kutumia jukwaa hili. 963 01:08:47,624 --> 01:08:51,002 Ni heshima kuwa mwigizaji wa kawaida, si tu onyesho la ujuzi, 964 01:08:51,085 --> 01:08:53,463 lakini pia katika suala la kesho yao. 965 01:08:53,546 --> 01:08:55,715 Ninajaribu kuchukua faida kamili ya hii. 966 01:08:55,798 --> 01:08:57,592 Chukua - 967 01:08:58,259 --> 01:09:02,597 neno la huyu jamaa. Yeye ni nyota kubwa, lakini hawezi kupata yai lake. 968 01:09:02,680 --> 01:09:05,642 Haiaminiki. Anakupenda. 969 01:09:06,893 --> 01:09:12,440 Ari, ulifanya tena. Wewe ni mtakatifu aliyenyooka na malaika. 970 01:09:13,232 --> 01:09:15,902 Muuaji wa Kiestonia, watazamaji wazuri. 971 01:09:17,695 --> 01:09:20,448 Nguvu isiyoweza kuepukika ya asili. 972 01:09:22,075 --> 01:09:23,576 Yeye hakika ni. 973 01:09:27,080 --> 01:09:30,333 Zaidi ya imani. Anaenda Ari Matti. 974 01:09:32,960 --> 01:09:37,715 Kushangaza. Watazamaji wapendwa, mchekeshaji afuataye alishinda nafasi hii - 975 01:09:37,799 --> 01:09:42,512 kwenye bustani ya Madison Square katika mechi za mchujo za watu wanne. 976 01:09:42,595 --> 01:09:48,101 Mpe Danny Martinello makofi. Huyu hapa anakuja Danny. 977 01:09:50,311 --> 01:09:53,898 Anatoka Kanada mkuu. Yeye ni Danny Martinello. 978 01:09:53,981 --> 01:09:56,275 Piga kelele, Austin! 979 01:09:58,820 --> 01:10:01,072 Ninapenda mahali hapa. Nimeishi hapa kwa mwaka mmoja. 980 01:10:01,155 --> 01:10:03,741 Umenifanya niipende Marekani. 981 01:10:05,492 --> 01:10:09,162 Ilitosha nilipoona mpira ukiruka kwenye mchezo wa Longhorns. 982 01:10:09,247 --> 01:10:11,874 Ilikuwa udhibiti wa anga. 983 01:10:13,876 --> 01:10:15,837 Ni hayo tu. Ilichukua tu… 984 01:10:17,672 --> 01:10:20,425 Mara moja nikauliza, "Mafuta yako wapi?" 985 01:10:21,551 --> 01:10:24,053 Mimi si Mmarekani lakini niliapa uaminifu - 986 01:10:24,137 --> 01:10:27,974 kwa uhuru na haki na nikasema: "Sasa tunashambulia!" 987 01:10:30,309 --> 01:10:33,146 naipenda kwamba unajivunia jeshi lako. 988 01:10:33,688 --> 01:10:38,151 Una makumbusho kila mahali. Nilisafiri kupitia Tennessee - 989 01:10:38,234 --> 01:10:42,864 na nikaona jumba la makumbusho la Vita vya Kidunia vya pili kwa marubani wa kivita wa kike. 990 01:10:43,740 --> 01:10:47,326 Vita Kuu ya II wapiganaji marubani wa kike. 991 01:10:47,410 --> 01:10:49,495 Sikujua wanawake waliruka. 992 01:10:49,579 --> 01:10:52,039 Nilidhani umeshona tu bendera za vita. 993 01:10:53,040 --> 01:10:55,418 Ilibidi niende kuona. 994 01:10:55,501 --> 01:10:58,212 Ndege mbili? Wote wawili walianguka chini. 995 01:10:59,589 --> 01:11:03,885 Hawakuwa na wakati wa kuruka. Wanawake wanaegesha tu. Ilikuwa craziest. 996 01:11:04,969 --> 01:11:09,182 Kisha nikaanza kufikiria zaidi kuhusu marubani wa kivita wa kike. 997 01:11:09,265 --> 01:11:12,977 Labda Japan ilikuwa na wanawake tu kama marubani wenza wakati wote wa vita. 998 01:11:15,188 --> 01:11:16,230 Je, unaweza kufikiria? 999 01:11:16,314 --> 01:11:20,818 Wacha turuke juu ya Bahari ya Pasifiki na wakati wote ni kama, “Tupo hapo? 1000 01:11:22,111 --> 01:11:25,156 Hiyo ni bandari sahihi? Wewe ni kama mama yako." 1001 01:11:25,990 --> 01:11:28,659 Lakini walikuwa Wajapani, kwa hiyo ilikuwa tu... 1002 01:11:41,130 --> 01:11:43,508 Asante, mimi ni Danny Martinello. 1003 01:11:43,591 --> 01:11:46,385 Danny Martinello. Seti nzuri, dude. 1004 01:11:46,469 --> 01:11:48,513 Asante, Tony. - Damn nzuri. 1005 01:11:49,555 --> 01:11:51,724 Umerudi. - Nimerudi, dude. 1006 01:11:51,808 --> 01:11:54,268 Hiyo ilikuwa nzuri. -Asante. Nashukuru hilo. 1007 01:11:54,352 --> 01:11:56,479 Hakuna kitu. - Ulikuja haraka. 1008 01:11:56,562 --> 01:11:59,398 Nilipenda kwamba hukupoteza wakati. 1009 01:11:59,482 --> 01:12:01,984 Ulisogeza stendi na kwenda moja kwa moja kwenye seti yako. 1010 01:12:02,068 --> 01:12:05,446 Umetoa nishati kamili kuanzia mwanzo hadi mwisho. 1011 01:12:05,530 --> 01:12:07,448 Asante, Gabriel. Nashukuru hilo. 1012 01:12:08,407 --> 01:12:11,327 Unachukia wanawake. Naipenda. - Napenda wanawake. 1013 01:12:11,410 --> 01:12:15,873 Nisingekuwa hapa sasa bila timu wanawake wazuri. 1014 01:12:15,957 --> 01:12:18,626 Mama yangu ndiye mtu bora ninayemjua. Bila yeye - 1015 01:12:18,709 --> 01:12:20,586 isingekuwa mimi. Nawapenda wanawake. 1016 01:12:20,670 --> 01:12:22,713 Nzuri, lakini imechelewa. 1017 01:12:24,590 --> 01:12:30,096 Tayari umesema jinsi unavyochukia wanawake. Bado ulikuwa mcheshi. Niliipenda. 1018 01:12:30,179 --> 01:12:32,849 Unaenda kinyume, ambayo ni nzuri. 1019 01:12:32,932 --> 01:12:35,351 Hujaribu kuwa mlambaji wa kupendeza. 1020 01:12:35,434 --> 01:12:39,605 Nimefurahi kwamba umeondoka Canada mwoga. 1021 01:12:39,689 --> 01:12:40,565 Nimefurahi umeondoka. 1022 01:12:40,648 --> 01:12:44,277 Ninajivunia mahali nilipo 1023 01:12:44,360 --> 01:12:47,113 lakini hivi sasa Amerika iko juu. 1024 01:12:47,196 --> 01:12:50,741 Ndiyo. -Naipenda Texas na ninawapenda nyie. 1025 01:12:50,825 --> 01:12:56,956 Marekani! Marekani! 1026 01:12:57,039 --> 01:12:59,625 niko serious. 1027 01:12:59,709 --> 01:13:02,628 Umechanganyikiwa. Sema tu "Marekani" na wewe... 1028 01:13:05,673 --> 01:13:08,092 Hiyo ndiyo kiburi! 1029 01:13:09,176 --> 01:13:11,470 Roseanne, unapenda nini? kuhusu mvulana mdogo wa Kanada? 1030 01:13:11,554 --> 01:13:15,308 Angalau una nishati ya kutosha. - Asante, Roseanne. 1031 01:13:15,391 --> 01:13:19,228 Ni vizuri kwamba unatoka Kanada na kamili ya nishati. 1032 01:13:19,312 --> 01:13:22,148 sina budi. Kuna baridi huko. Lazima kukaa joto. 1033 01:13:22,231 --> 01:13:26,652 Hiyo ni nzuri pia, kwamba ulikuja hapa na kumpenda Austin. 1034 01:13:27,278 --> 01:13:28,529 Tunapenda. 1035 01:13:28,613 --> 01:13:32,074 Ulifanya vizuri na kadhalika. 1036 01:13:32,158 --> 01:13:34,869 Bila shaka siipendi kwamba unalaumu kila kitu kwa wanawake. 1037 01:13:34,952 --> 01:13:37,246 Inanikera. 1038 01:13:37,330 --> 01:13:42,126 Wanawake hao walikuwa katika huduma. 1039 01:13:42,209 --> 01:13:43,085 Mimi… 1040 01:13:43,169 --> 01:13:48,215 Inanifanya nifikirie kwamba wewe ni shoga - 1041 01:13:48,299 --> 01:13:52,011 na kwamba unaficha mambo. 1042 01:13:52,094 --> 01:13:58,517 Nadhani wanaume mashoga tu anaweza kuwachukia wanawake. 1043 01:13:58,601 --> 01:14:03,397 Natumaini unaweza kukubali ushoga wako - 1044 01:14:03,481 --> 01:14:09,987 na uendelee na kazi yako kwa utani mzuri. 1045 01:14:10,071 --> 01:14:12,323 Kila kitu kingine tayari una. 1046 01:14:12,406 --> 01:14:17,995 Ikiwa unaweza kukubali tu shoga yako, ingesaidia sana kazi yako. 1047 01:14:18,079 --> 01:14:19,038 Wazi. 1048 01:14:19,121 --> 01:14:23,584 Ikiwa unaweza kukubali shoga yako, unaweza kupata muda zaidi kwenye show. 1049 01:14:23,668 --> 01:14:25,336 Hivyo. - Nitakuambia. 1050 01:14:25,419 --> 01:14:29,215 Mimi na Tony tumekuwa tukizungumza kama wasichana wa chuo kikuu. 1051 01:14:30,007 --> 01:14:31,717 Ndio: "Nitakuambia." 1052 01:14:32,468 --> 01:14:35,346 Nadhani kwamba hauelewani na mama yako. 1053 01:14:35,429 --> 01:14:37,515 Nitakuja. Yeye ni rafiki yangu mkubwa. 1054 01:14:37,598 --> 01:14:39,809 Ndio maana wewe ni shoga? -Kwa hiyo. 1055 01:14:41,769 --> 01:14:42,937 Naweza kufanya nini? 1056 01:14:43,020 --> 01:14:44,948 Ninataka tu kunyonya titi moja. Ni yake. 1057 01:14:45,023 --> 01:14:46,482 Nilijua hilo. 1058 01:14:46,565 --> 01:14:48,818 Watazamaji waliona kwamba Dick yako ni kubwa kuliko ya Arilla. 1059 01:14:48,901 --> 01:14:52,113 Pat mgongoni. -Kubwa zaidi, kusema ukweli. 1060 01:14:52,196 --> 01:14:54,240 Bado umefanya vizuri. unachekesha 1061 01:14:54,323 --> 01:14:59,203 lakini kama nilivyosema jaribu kuchimba zaidi kidogo. 1062 01:14:59,286 --> 01:15:02,707 Kisha ni furaha, unapokubali kuwa wewe ni shoga. 1063 01:15:02,790 --> 01:15:03,666 Asante. 1064 01:15:04,875 --> 01:15:06,711 Danny Martinello, umefanya vizuri. 1065 01:15:06,794 --> 01:15:08,421 Pat mgongoni. -Asante. 1066 01:15:08,504 --> 01:15:10,881 Ninathamini kila kitu, umetoa nini tony. 1067 01:15:10,965 --> 01:15:14,593 2025 ilikuwa yako nzuri na shukrani kwa Redban. Baraka. 1068 01:15:14,677 --> 01:15:17,888 Asante. Danny Martinello anaenda, watazamaji wazuri. 1069 01:15:18,723 --> 01:15:20,683 Krustasia ya Kanada. 1070 01:15:22,268 --> 01:15:24,729 Kaskazini Kubwa. 1071 01:15:27,189 --> 01:15:28,065 Sasa. 1072 01:15:29,567 --> 01:15:33,320 Wacha tuwapigie makofi wanawake wazuri. 1073 01:15:34,030 --> 01:15:36,699 Wanasafisha meza haraka. 1074 01:15:39,326 --> 01:15:41,704 Sawa, tuendelee. 1075 01:15:41,787 --> 01:15:46,333 Hadithi inatoka kwenye ndoo tena zawadi maalum. 1076 01:15:46,417 --> 01:15:48,169 Mtu huyu bila shaka - 1077 01:15:48,252 --> 01:15:53,799 mmoja wa wageni bora wa mwaka na wageni wetu bora milele. 1078 01:15:53,883 --> 01:15:58,637 James McCann hufanya seti yake. Hebu tumchukue. 1079 01:16:00,473 --> 01:16:02,683 Ua Tony kifalme. 1080 01:16:10,566 --> 01:16:14,153 Hii ni kubwa. 1081 01:16:14,945 --> 01:16:18,324 Nimerudi kutoka San Jose. 1082 01:16:19,575 --> 01:16:22,620 Ndugu, kulikuwa na Waasia wengi huko. 1083 01:16:23,662 --> 01:16:26,082 Kuna Waasia wengi huko San Jose, 1084 01:16:26,165 --> 01:16:30,211 kama jina la mji inapaswa kubadilisha Jose-san. 1085 01:16:31,378 --> 01:16:34,381 Nilikuwa nikiendesha gari. Ninazoea kuendesha gari huko Amerika. 1086 01:16:34,465 --> 01:16:36,926 Labda haujui, lakini mahali pengine - 1087 01:16:37,009 --> 01:16:40,805 mipaka ya kasi hutumiwa kupunguza kasi. 1088 01:16:42,765 --> 01:16:47,269 Hapa kikomo cha kasi kinasema, wanafanya nini sasa. 1089 01:16:52,274 --> 01:16:56,028 Kila mtu mwingine ananung'unika. 1090 01:16:57,279 --> 01:17:01,492 Sijui kikomo cha kasi ni nini. Ninaangalia mfano kutoka kwa wengine. 1091 01:17:02,284 --> 01:17:03,911 Sio kila mtu anaweza kukamatwa. 1092 01:17:04,662 --> 01:17:06,831 Siwezi kumudu hilo. 1093 01:17:06,914 --> 01:17:10,626 Kambi ya kijeshi inapaswa kuanzishwa huko Guam au chochote kile. 1094 01:17:11,544 --> 01:17:15,214 Uligundua kamera ya kasi na kisha ukaifanya kuwa ni haramu. 1095 01:17:16,632 --> 01:17:17,758 Hiyo ni hekima. 1096 01:17:20,010 --> 01:17:25,349 Unajua kwanini wanasema hivyo huko Texas hakuna kamera za kasi? 1097 01:17:25,432 --> 01:17:27,476 Wao ni kinyume na katiba. 1098 01:17:31,272 --> 01:17:34,733 Kesi hiyo imesimamiwa na wakili kabisa. 1099 01:17:35,359 --> 01:17:38,279 Matokeo yalikuwa mazuri, 1100 01:17:38,904 --> 01:17:42,032 lakini hiyo inamaanisha miaka 150 iliyopita, 1101 01:17:42,116 --> 01:17:43,951 wakati katiba ilipoandikwa, 1102 01:17:44,743 --> 01:17:49,748 mtu alisema: "Ikiwa katika siku zijazo - 1103 01:17:49,832 --> 01:17:56,005 fikra fulani huvumbua gari, ambayo husafiri haraka - 1104 01:17:56,088 --> 01:17:58,841 jumla ya farasi 100 - 1105 01:18:00,176 --> 01:18:06,724 na ikiwa kuna uvumbuzi mwingine. ambayo inaweza kubadilisha kasi kuwa nambari, 1106 01:18:08,017 --> 01:18:12,855 zinaweza kutumika kikamilifu tofauti, lakini kamwe pamoja! 1107 01:18:13,814 --> 01:18:17,693 Uvumbuzi lazima uhifadhiwe tofauti lakini kama sawa. Ndivyo ninavyosema!" 1108 01:18:17,776 --> 01:18:22,907 Ninapenda kuendesha gari katika nchi hii. Naipenda! 1109 01:18:24,909 --> 01:18:29,455 Wakati mwingine kuna kamera za kasi, lakini hawana ofisi. 1110 01:18:29,538 --> 01:18:31,373 Kuna ishara kando ya barabara. 1111 01:18:31,457 --> 01:18:34,627 Kikomo ni maili 65 kwa saa, lakini wacha tuendeshe 98. 1112 01:18:35,628 --> 01:18:38,547 Kamera inawaka kama nimeshinda mbio. 1113 01:18:38,631 --> 01:18:41,800 Hakuna hata barua kwenye barua. 1114 01:18:41,884 --> 01:18:44,261 Inasema tu, "Ndugu mgonjwa. 1115 01:18:44,970 --> 01:18:48,724 Ulikaribia kufikia nambari tatu. Umefanya vizuri. Jiamini wewe mwenyewe." 1116 01:18:49,558 --> 01:18:52,770 Ninapenda kuendesha gari huko Amerika. Flashers hazihitajiki. 1117 01:18:54,230 --> 01:18:57,691 Kuna haki ya faragha hapa. 1118 01:18:58,275 --> 01:19:01,362 Sio juu ya wengine ni njia gani ninayochagua. 1119 01:19:01,445 --> 01:19:03,739 Jambo hilo ni langu tu na Mungu - 1120 01:19:05,324 --> 01:19:08,285 na kwa Toyota Sienna nilikimbilia - 1121 01:19:09,411 --> 01:19:11,747 na kwa makampuni yetu ya bima. 1122 01:19:13,249 --> 01:19:15,960 Nitaendelea hadi lini? Haijalishi. 1123 01:19:17,211 --> 01:19:19,964 Ninaendesha gari dogo. Haijalishi. Ndivyo ulivyosikia. 1124 01:19:21,006 --> 01:19:25,511 Nina watoto watatu, Umri wa miaka 6, 4 na 3. 1125 01:19:26,095 --> 01:19:29,098 Ya nne inakuja. Ndiyo! 1126 01:19:30,307 --> 01:19:34,019 Usihimize. Tafadhali msaada! Nahitaji msaada. 1127 01:19:35,729 --> 01:19:38,190 Hebu tuseme, “Hii ni wakati wa kichawi zaidi wa maisha yako." 1128 01:19:38,274 --> 01:19:40,401 Ninajibu, “Njoo kijijini. 1129 01:19:40,484 --> 01:19:43,946 Ningependa kuoga na sehemu yangu ya uchawi. Wewe mtunze." 1130 01:19:44,655 --> 01:19:47,950 Mke wangu ni mjamzito tena. Ana ugonjwa huo 1131 01:19:48,033 --> 01:19:50,995 ambapo analala kitandani kwa siku na ni mbaya kwangu. 1132 01:19:51,078 --> 01:19:54,707 Wakati huohuo, mimi huwatembeza watoto wangu katika gari dogo. 1133 01:19:55,457 --> 01:19:59,503 Ninapenda kuiendesha kwa sababu hawajali. 1134 01:20:00,212 --> 01:20:04,633 Amina. Ikiwa mtu anaendesha Cybertruck, anafanyiwa kazi. 1135 01:20:05,342 --> 01:20:07,094 Tusonge mbele. Haijalishi. 1136 01:20:07,177 --> 01:20:10,431 Kuendesha Cybertruck kwa uvivu wangu, anayefanya kazi kwa Google. 1137 01:20:10,514 --> 01:20:12,016 Atashindwa katika vita. 1138 01:20:12,099 --> 01:20:14,727 Anaweza kuuawa kwa hit moja, wanawake. 1139 01:20:16,520 --> 01:20:19,440 Tunapoona gari ndogo, tunafikiria: 1140 01:20:19,523 --> 01:20:21,900 "Ana siku mbaya. Nitamwacha peke yake. 1141 01:20:21,984 --> 01:20:27,031 Yeye haitaji hii." Kila siku ni siku mbaya katika minivan. 1142 01:20:28,198 --> 01:20:32,536 Mwanangu anapiga kelele kwenye kiti cha nyuma: "Nipe apple." 1143 01:20:33,162 --> 01:20:35,664 "Haifanyiki kuwa oppa, jamani. 1144 01:20:36,206 --> 01:20:39,835 Tayari una moja. Ilipotelea ndani ya gari. Hatutapata kamwe." 1145 01:20:40,586 --> 01:20:42,046 Anasema, "Baba, nataka tufaha." 1146 01:20:42,129 --> 01:20:45,215 "Hakuna njia mbili juu yake, dude." "Nahitaji apple sasa." 1147 01:20:45,299 --> 01:20:51,055 "Tafadhali, mtoto. Baba anajaribu kuendesha gari kasi ya haki. Sio wakati mzuri." 1148 01:20:52,056 --> 01:20:56,477 Inabidi tusimame sasa. Baraka kwako na Muue Tony! 1149 01:20:56,560 --> 01:20:57,978 Ni show iliyoje! 1150 01:21:02,358 --> 01:21:08,238 Ulichukua mpira na kukimbia hadi mstari wa kumaliza. 1151 01:21:08,322 --> 01:21:10,282 James McCann! 1152 01:21:11,325 --> 01:21:13,327 Jamani! -Usiende. 1153 01:21:13,410 --> 01:21:16,205 Subiri. Njoo hapa. - Kaa hapa, kaka. 1154 01:21:16,872 --> 01:21:22,961 Unapojiuliza ni saa ngapi iliyobaki, Nilitaka kusikia zaidi. 1155 01:21:23,045 --> 01:21:25,756 Nilitaka kusikia zaidi. 1156 01:21:25,839 --> 01:21:28,717 Naam… -Wewe ni mcheshi. 1157 01:21:28,801 --> 01:21:34,890 Ulipiga ngumi. "Farasi 100 jumla" utani alinimaliza. 1158 01:21:34,973 --> 01:21:36,934 Ilikuwa ya kuchekesha. - Asante, Rob. 1159 01:21:37,017 --> 01:21:42,189 Ilikuwa ya kuchekesha. Wewe ndiye kifurushi kizima. Hukupoteza sekunde. 1160 01:21:42,272 --> 01:21:46,735 Unatawala jukwaa na kujipiga Mbele ya watu 15,000 kwenye Netflix. 1161 01:21:46,819 --> 01:21:48,112 Ndiyo. -Pata mgongoni. 1162 01:21:48,195 --> 01:21:52,116 Asante, Rob Schneider. Hiyo ilisemwa vizuri. Nashukuru hilo. 1163 01:21:53,534 --> 01:21:58,872 Huo ulikuwa mfano wa kuigwa ufanisi wa utendaji. Roseanne Barr? 1164 01:21:59,415 --> 01:22:01,583 Ulikuja na kula. 1165 01:22:03,335 --> 01:22:06,338 Asante, Roseanne. -Hukuacha makombo yoyote. 1166 01:22:06,922 --> 01:22:09,049 Hukuacha chembe hata moja. 1167 01:22:09,133 --> 01:22:13,429 Unakula kila kitu. Umeimeza kwa mkupuo mmoja. 1168 01:22:14,179 --> 01:22:16,265 Hukuacha chochote kwa wengine. 1169 01:22:16,348 --> 01:22:18,809 Hiyo karibu ilionekana kama pongezi. 1170 01:22:18,892 --> 01:22:21,228 Anamaanisha vizuri. Ulikuwa mzuri. 1171 01:22:21,311 --> 01:22:28,235 Yaani umeiponda hii. Nyota inazaliwa. 1172 01:22:28,735 --> 01:22:34,116 Asante sana, Roseanne. Maneno yananishinda. Nimechanganyikiwa kabisa. 1173 01:22:34,825 --> 01:22:36,076 Anna, wakati mimi 1174 01:22:36,160 --> 01:22:40,664 Kuponda ni nzuri, Roseanne, lakini ulikuwa unazungumzia kula nini? 1175 01:22:40,747 --> 01:22:44,626 Alikuja kula na kula. Hiyo ndiyo maana yake. 1176 01:22:44,710 --> 01:22:47,880 Sote tunajua alichomaanisha. - Tunajua hilo. 1177 01:22:47,963 --> 01:22:51,383 Uko sawa, Rob. Wewe ni mzee. 1178 01:22:51,467 --> 01:22:53,218 Ukiuma vumbi... - Wewe ni mwisho wa nyakati. 1179 01:22:53,302 --> 01:22:56,513 Ikiwa unakula au kuuma vumbi, sio nzuri. 1180 01:22:56,597 --> 01:23:00,100 Sikuwa nikizungumza juu ya kuuma vumbi, kama tulivyokuwa tunasema. 1181 01:23:00,184 --> 01:23:03,479 Sikiliza, hii ilikuwa nzuri! Nilifurahiya. 1182 01:23:03,562 --> 01:23:05,856 Show lazima iendelee. 1183 01:23:05,939 --> 01:23:08,775 Muwe na jioni njema. Asante sana! 1184 01:23:08,859 --> 01:23:14,490 Imepatikana na Shane Gillis huyu jamaa wa Australia. 1185 01:23:14,573 --> 01:23:17,784 Shane alimleta Amerika. Tulimpenda. 1186 01:23:17,868 --> 01:23:20,746 Austin anayependwa na James McCann, watazamaji wazuri. 1187 01:23:21,955 --> 01:23:23,332 niseme tu 1188 01:23:24,416 --> 01:23:29,254 ambayo sijaiona mafanikio ya kushangaza kama haya - 1189 01:23:30,047 --> 01:23:34,676 kisha Roast ya Tom Brady, kwa uhakika saa 1 dakika 55. 1190 01:23:35,802 --> 01:23:41,183 Yule kijana akainuka kutoka mezani, alichukua nafasi hiyo na kubadilisha maisha yake. 1191 01:23:41,266 --> 01:23:43,477 Mzunguko mwingine wa makofi kwa James McCann. 1192 01:23:46,647 --> 01:23:48,565 Huu ni wakati wa kusisimua. 1193 01:23:48,649 --> 01:23:51,485 Nilitoa hii kutoka kwa ndoo ya kawaida, watazamaji wazuri. 1194 01:23:51,568 --> 01:23:53,028 Kwa bahati nzuri, mkono wangu uligonga - 1195 01:23:53,111 --> 01:23:57,991 mwanachama mkubwa wa timu yetu, ambaye alisaidia kuandaa jioni. 1196 01:23:58,075 --> 01:24:02,663 Watazamaji wapendwa, ninawasilisha kwenu Vumbi. 1197 01:24:11,088 --> 01:24:15,384 Mama yangu anapaswa kuwa huru kuchagua, hivyo nikamuuliza 1198 01:24:15,467 --> 01:24:18,220 kwanini alinitahiri. 1199 01:24:21,807 --> 01:24:25,018 Wanasema ilikuwa muhimu kiafya. 1200 01:24:26,103 --> 01:24:29,439 Nilisoma kuwa ni uwongo. Akasema, “Sikiliza, mjuzi. 1201 01:24:29,982 --> 01:24:34,528 Ulipozaliwa, hukuwa na kope. 1202 01:24:38,824 --> 01:24:44,288 Baba yako na mimi tulikufanyia wema. Shukrani kwa tohara - 1203 01:24:44,371 --> 01:24:46,665 ulipokea pandikizi la ngozi. 1204 01:24:49,209 --> 01:24:52,379 Kabla sijasema chochote, aliuliza: 1205 01:24:52,921 --> 01:24:56,425 “Ndio maana baba yako anakuita badala ya jicho kengeza, jicho kengeza." 1206 01:25:00,095 --> 01:25:03,056 Mimi ni Vumbi. Hiyo ilikuwa ni. - Hey, Vumbi. 1207 01:25:04,600 --> 01:25:05,809 Damn nzuri. 1208 01:25:05,892 --> 01:25:07,561 Habari, Tony. - Hiyo ilikuwa nzuri. 1209 01:25:07,644 --> 01:25:10,939 Hukujua ungekuwa jukwaani dakika mbili zilizopita. 1210 01:25:11,023 --> 01:25:12,816 Umetumia fursa vizuri. 1211 01:25:12,899 --> 01:25:16,403 Unajisikiaje sasa? - Hisia ni nzuri. Baraka kwa wote! 1212 01:25:19,323 --> 01:25:21,700 Kubwa. Furaha. 1213 01:25:21,783 --> 01:25:26,371 Nini kinaendelea katika maisha yako? Je, hatujui nini kukuhusu? 1214 01:25:27,956 --> 01:25:32,294 Ninafanya kazi nyuma ya pazia na ninasaidia jumuiya za zamani za ngome. 1215 01:25:32,377 --> 01:25:36,923 Ninawasaidia kukaa kwenye njia sahihi. - Utani tu. 1216 01:25:40,552 --> 01:25:45,098 Je, una njia yoyote maalum kwa ajili hiyo? 1217 01:25:46,016 --> 01:25:47,017 Yesu. 1218 01:25:48,101 --> 01:25:49,186 Lazima tu. 1219 01:25:52,230 --> 01:25:54,191 Je, unawapeleka kanisani? 1220 01:25:54,274 --> 01:25:59,613 Tunafanya kazi nao, wakati viwango vyao vya kufungwa - 1221 01:25:59,696 --> 01:26:01,031 hupunguza. 1222 01:26:01,114 --> 01:26:04,284 Tutaanza nao Katika miezi 24-48 - 1223 01:26:04,368 --> 01:26:05,827 kabla ya kutolewa. 1224 01:26:05,911 --> 01:26:09,331 Mradi huo ni Second Hope Ministries yupo Louisville, Kentucky. 1225 01:26:10,082 --> 01:26:15,253 Wanafundisha wavulana kusoma na kujaza maombi ya kazi. 1226 01:26:15,337 --> 01:26:16,838 Wanapohudhuria kozi zetu, 1227 01:26:16,922 --> 01:26:20,759 tunawapeleka makanisani kabla ya kurudi gerezani, 1228 01:26:20,842 --> 01:26:25,389 ili waweze kujiunga na ulimwengu. Wanapoachiliwa, tupo kuwaunga mkono. 1229 01:26:25,472 --> 01:26:28,475 Hatusemi tu, "Uko huru. Acha uende." 1230 01:26:30,602 --> 01:26:32,062 Zaidi ya imani. 1231 01:26:32,145 --> 01:26:36,358 Nini imekuwa hadithi yako kubwa ya mafanikio - 1232 01:26:36,441 --> 01:26:38,068 na mtu uliyemsaidia? 1233 01:26:39,778 --> 01:26:44,783 Katika muongo mmoja uliopita kiwango cha kujirudia kimekuwa 0. 1234 01:26:44,866 --> 01:26:46,827 Ni hadithi ya mafanikio. - Zaidi ya imani. 1235 01:26:46,910 --> 01:26:48,245 Hiyo ni nzuri. 1236 01:26:49,246 --> 01:26:50,122 Kushangaza. 1237 01:26:50,205 --> 01:26:53,542 Unawatoa gerezani hadi kanisani. 1238 01:26:53,625 --> 01:26:56,378 Ndio, na tunapata kazi. 1239 01:26:56,920 --> 01:26:59,715 Tunaona kwamba watafanya hivyo pochi na kadhalika. 1240 01:26:59,798 --> 01:27:01,466 Endelea tu. Nilikukatisha tamaa. 1241 01:27:01,550 --> 01:27:04,261 Hakuna tatizo. Nilikuwa naenda kusema utani wa Kuku wa Kanisa, 1242 01:27:04,344 --> 01:27:07,514 kwa sababu nadhani wengi wao wakiwa weusi, 1243 01:27:07,597 --> 01:27:10,392 lakini ni sawa. 1244 01:27:10,475 --> 01:27:14,604 Unapowapa pochi, ni zako au... 1245 01:27:14,688 --> 01:27:16,940 Mh. -Wazi. 1246 01:27:17,023 --> 01:27:19,901 Ambayo waffle na kuku mahali wanaenda kwanza? 1247 01:27:19,985 --> 01:27:22,529 Kwa Roscoe, bila shaka. -Nzuri sana. 1248 01:27:22,612 --> 01:27:24,156 Unafanya kazi nzuri sana. 1249 01:27:24,239 --> 01:27:28,368 Utani ulikuwa mzuri pia. Nimesikia utani mwingi wa pro-choice, 1250 01:27:28,869 --> 01:27:33,081 lakini sifanyi hivyo kamwe. Huo ulikuwa mtazamo mzuri. 1251 01:27:33,165 --> 01:27:34,750 Asante. -Ulifanya vizuri. 1252 01:27:34,833 --> 01:27:36,918 Wewe ni mtu mkuu. Unafanya kazi nzuri. 1253 01:27:37,002 --> 01:27:39,171 Hiyo ni nzuri sana. 1254 01:27:39,254 --> 01:27:42,507 Umekuwa ukifanya comedy kwa muda gani? - Miaka sita. 1255 01:27:42,591 --> 01:27:47,804 Pengine ni ndefu kuliko wengine katika kundi letu. 1256 01:27:47,888 --> 01:27:52,476 Nafikiria jinsi kila Jumatatu unapanga na kuvunja kila kitu. 1257 01:27:52,559 --> 01:27:55,270 Unapakia bidhaa kwenye lori. 1258 01:27:55,353 --> 01:27:59,024 Inaweza kuwa ya kuchoka kutazama watu, ambao hawajitayarishi - 1259 01:27:59,107 --> 01:28:01,067 au ambao hawafanyi kila wakati - 1260 01:28:01,151 --> 01:28:05,071 panga uwasilishaji wako, kwa sababu kila kitu kinategemea ndoo. 1261 01:28:05,155 --> 01:28:08,950 Ina mapenzi yake mwenyewe. Leo usiku... 1262 01:28:11,369 --> 01:28:14,289 Bahati nzuri kwako. -Nilikuwa na dakika ya kujiandaa. 1263 01:28:14,372 --> 01:28:18,710 Labda ni karma yako nzuri - 1264 01:28:18,794 --> 01:28:22,172 na uthibitisho kwamba unafurahia mchakato. 1265 01:28:22,255 --> 01:28:26,259 wakati wako umefika kwa sababu uko kwenye Netflix na kwenye uwanja. 1266 01:28:26,343 --> 01:28:29,095 Huu ni mji wako baada ya yote. -Amina. 1267 01:28:30,388 --> 01:28:31,932 Roseanne Barr? 1268 01:28:32,015 --> 01:28:36,228 Nadhani wewe ni mcheshi. Una charisma nzuri ya hatua. 1269 01:28:36,311 --> 01:28:41,399 Sipendi mzaha wa uume wako au macho ya jogoo. 1270 01:28:41,483 --> 01:28:45,946 Msaada unaowapa watu, pengine ni mjinga pia. 1271 01:28:46,488 --> 01:28:52,160 Nadhani unaweza kuja na vicheshi, 1272 01:28:52,244 --> 01:28:54,287 ambayo haisemi juu ya mbwembwe. 1273 01:28:54,788 --> 01:28:55,831 Ndiyo, bibie. 1274 01:28:55,914 --> 01:29:00,085 Hasa ikiwa unasaidia watu, ambao ni watumiaji wa dawa za kulevya - 1275 01:29:00,168 --> 01:29:05,924 na ambaye hali yake ya kiroho ni dhaifu. Uko kwenye mambo ya kiroho. 1276 01:29:06,007 --> 01:29:11,221 Fanya utani juu yake badala ya uume. Je, unaelewa? 1277 01:29:11,304 --> 01:29:15,559 Uume hautoshi unapojaribu kuinua… 1278 01:29:15,642 --> 01:29:18,019 Nyamaza! 1279 01:29:20,021 --> 01:29:21,606 Nyamaza! 1280 01:29:21,690 --> 01:29:23,608 Onyesha heshima. - Kwa hiyo! 1281 01:29:24,234 --> 01:29:28,905 Sipendi mazungumzo ya jogoo, anapojaribu kuokoa watu - 1282 01:29:28,989 --> 01:29:32,367 na kuwapeleka mbinguni. Unajua niko sawa. 1283 01:29:32,450 --> 01:29:36,371 Kunusa jamani na shit wewe yika! 1284 01:29:37,289 --> 01:29:40,959 Mama yangu angesema hivyo hivyo, Bibi Roseanne. Uko sahihi. 1285 01:29:41,042 --> 01:29:42,794 Nisikilize mimi na mama yako. 1286 01:29:42,878 --> 01:29:46,089 Nilimpeleka kukuambia ukweli. 1287 01:29:46,172 --> 01:29:49,092 Njoo na vicheshi vya heshima kwa maisha ya watu hao. 1288 01:29:49,175 --> 01:29:52,512 Amina. - Ninakuambia ukweli! 1289 01:29:52,596 --> 01:29:53,722 Uishi Shetani. 1290 01:29:53,805 --> 01:29:55,765 Roseanne anawalaani nyote. 1291 01:29:55,849 --> 01:29:58,810 Nakuonya. Malkia huyu hatazomewa. 1292 01:29:58,894 --> 01:30:02,230 Hakuna makofi kwa Vumbi? -Ndio! 1293 01:30:05,609 --> 01:30:08,778 Sasa hebu tuendelee kwenye ndoo ya hadithi. 1294 01:30:08,862 --> 01:30:12,032 Amini usiamini, kuna zaidi yajayo. 1295 01:30:12,657 --> 01:30:15,410 Mchekeshaji anayefuata… Vumbi, nyamaza tayari. 1296 01:30:15,493 --> 01:30:18,038 Unaweza kuelewa jina la kitu. Sasa. 1297 01:30:19,539 --> 01:30:21,625 Hebu tuwapigie makofi Heidi na Vali. 1298 01:30:21,708 --> 01:30:26,296 Kumekuwa na kunywa mezani leo. Wanasisitiza muda wa ziada. 1299 01:30:28,423 --> 01:30:31,968 Hao hapo. 1300 01:30:33,386 --> 01:30:36,306 Je, ninaweza kuinua toast ya haraka kwa watazamaji? 1301 01:30:36,389 --> 01:30:37,807 Bila shaka. Hebu tufanye hivyo. 1302 01:30:37,891 --> 01:30:43,229 Watazamaji wapendwa, Austin, Texas. Asante, kwamba unatumia Hawa wa Mwaka Mpya na sisi. 1303 01:30:43,772 --> 01:30:46,149 Hivyo. -Ua kwa heshima ya Tony. 1304 01:30:46,232 --> 01:30:49,569 Kwa Fluffy, Rob Schneider, Kwa Roseanne Barr - 1305 01:30:49,653 --> 01:30:54,240 na kwa Dick huyu ambaye ni Brian Redban. Heri ya Mwaka Mpya kila mtu! 1306 01:30:56,159 --> 01:30:58,328 Nilichomoa hadithi kutoka kwenye ndoo tena. 1307 01:30:58,411 --> 01:31:01,289 Inafaa, kwamba tunaongeza toast sasa hivi. 1308 01:31:01,373 --> 01:31:03,458 Aina hiyo ni mojawapo ya glasi zangu bora za kunywa. 1309 01:31:03,541 --> 01:31:07,754 Mmoja wa wachekeshaji bora nimepata maalum mwaka huu. 1310 01:31:07,837 --> 01:31:10,340 Sasa inatuonyesha seti mpya kabisa - 1311 01:31:10,423 --> 01:31:11,633 Joe DeRosa! 1312 01:31:20,935 --> 01:31:23,436 Austin, nini kinaendelea? 1313 01:31:28,483 --> 01:31:30,276 Naupenda mji huu wa kijinga. 1314 01:31:32,320 --> 01:31:34,155 Ninakunywa kupita kiasi. 1315 01:31:34,948 --> 01:31:37,117 Ninakunywa sana huko Austin. 1316 01:31:38,576 --> 01:31:42,330 Daktari wangu hivi karibuni alisema: “Nina habari mbaya. 1317 01:31:42,414 --> 01:31:43,790 Una ini lenye mafuta.” 1318 01:31:45,041 --> 01:31:49,170 Nikasema, “Nina habari mbaya pia. Hawasemi hivyo tena. 1319 01:31:50,296 --> 01:31:51,589 Inakera." 1320 01:31:53,091 --> 01:31:56,261 Daktari alisema, "Ikiwa haukupenda hivyo, unachukia hili. 1321 01:31:56,886 --> 01:31:58,596 Moyo wako ni nusu dokezo." 1322 01:32:00,390 --> 01:32:01,850 Mungu wangu, daktari. 1323 01:32:03,893 --> 01:32:07,272 Ninapenda kunywa kwa sababu mbili. Kwanza kabisa, ni ya kushangaza. 1324 01:32:08,440 --> 01:32:10,984 Pili, nachukia nyasi. 1325 01:32:12,402 --> 01:32:13,278 Nyasi ni… 1326 01:32:15,864 --> 01:32:19,826 Fuck wewe, hasara. Sefu zimekwama. 1327 01:32:22,620 --> 01:32:26,916 Wewe uliyezomea kukua na kwenda bar. 1328 01:32:27,584 --> 01:32:29,044 Ndivyo wanavyofanya watu wazima. 1329 01:32:30,253 --> 01:32:31,796 Ndivyo wanavyofanya watu wazima. 1330 01:32:32,380 --> 01:32:36,384 Kukua na kwenda kwenye baa kutatua tatizo lako. 1331 01:32:38,303 --> 01:32:42,557 Kaa kwenye kinyesi cha baa, tazama kwenye kioo na unywe risasi, 1332 01:32:42,640 --> 01:32:44,100 mpaka kila kitu kitakapoisha. 1333 01:32:44,684 --> 01:32:46,144 Je, ni wazi? 1334 01:32:46,853 --> 01:32:51,232 Usile keki na unaweza mashambulizi ya hofu ya saa tatu kwenye kitanda. 1335 01:32:53,651 --> 01:32:58,239 Kwa nini maisha yangu hayaishi kulingana na matakwa yangu? Kwa sababu wewe ni mpotevu sana 1336 01:32:58,323 --> 01:33:00,992 ambaye haendi hata baa kufanya kazi mwenyewe. 1337 01:33:04,245 --> 01:33:08,416 Nimechoka nayo jinsi ya kusifu nyasi - 1338 01:33:08,500 --> 01:33:11,127 kana kwamba ni dutu safi kuliko pombe. 1339 01:33:11,211 --> 01:33:14,130 Unalewa tu. 1340 01:33:14,214 --> 01:33:16,883 Acha ujinga wa matibabu. 1341 01:33:16,966 --> 01:33:19,719 Inatosha. "Sio kweli. 1342 01:33:19,803 --> 01:33:23,556 Nyasi yangu inanisaidia kupunguza wasiwasi. 1343 01:33:23,640 --> 01:33:27,060 Inasaidia kuzingatia na kuinua hisia." 1344 01:33:27,143 --> 01:33:29,604 Takataka sawa inaweza kufanywa na pombe. 1345 01:33:31,898 --> 01:33:35,652 Utulivu na umakini zaidi haiwezi kuwa - 1346 01:33:36,152 --> 01:33:41,533 kama baada ya kunywa Jack Daniels sita na baada ya kuvuta arc kubwa - 1347 01:33:41,616 --> 01:33:44,327 juu ya choo cha baa. 1348 01:33:47,580 --> 01:33:48,873 Hapo ndipo ni bora, 1349 01:33:50,542 --> 01:33:55,004 umakini na ujasiri, ujasiri sana. 1350 01:33:56,673 --> 01:34:00,218 "Keki nisaidie kulala." Unamaanisha kuzima? 1351 01:34:01,469 --> 01:34:05,348 Sio sayansi mpya. Nimekuwa nikifanya kwa miongo kadhaa. 1352 01:34:06,141 --> 01:34:08,101 Unapovuta masharti, huzima. 1353 01:34:09,602 --> 01:34:14,440 Watu huvuta vitu wakati wa kuendesha gari. Wapunda wenye jeuri! 1354 01:34:15,400 --> 01:34:19,195 Mwenye jeuri! Nikiwa mlevi, hilo huniudhi. 1355 01:34:21,030 --> 01:34:25,243 Nimekerwa kuwa unachoma mavi yako huku ukinisumbua. 1356 01:34:25,326 --> 01:34:27,245 Nakumbuka marafiki zangu, na wanasema: 1357 01:34:27,328 --> 01:34:32,250 "Hapana, ninaendesha gari bora kwa njia hii. Sawa. Hii inanifanya kuwa dereva bora." 1358 01:34:32,333 --> 01:34:36,129 Haifanyi hivyo. Inafanya tu kutoka kwa ukweli wa Mario Kart. 1359 01:34:37,005 --> 01:34:40,383 Kwamba ni furaha zaidi, haimaanishi kuwa ni bora zaidi. 1360 01:34:41,467 --> 01:34:45,138 Nimeumia! Nitafanya kwa marafiki zangu wa magugu na pombe, 1361 01:34:45,221 --> 01:34:49,100 wanachonifanyia kwenye nyasi. Kisha naona wanachopenda. 1362 01:34:49,767 --> 01:34:52,729 Kabla sijakuumiza kutoka kwa maduka, 1363 01:34:52,812 --> 01:34:56,065 Ninakunywa chupa tano za Tito. 1364 01:34:59,152 --> 01:35:01,196 Je! Kwa hivyo mimi ni dereva bora! 1365 01:35:02,655 --> 01:35:05,200 Kwa hivyo mimi ni mpanda farasi bora, kwa kweli! 1366 01:35:06,576 --> 01:35:11,122 Hakika. Mmoja amechukizwa, mwingine hana. Kwa nini? 1367 01:35:11,789 --> 01:35:14,292 Kwa nini kuendesha gari ukiwa mlevi umechukizwa? 1368 01:35:15,376 --> 01:35:17,128 Naweza kukuahidi, 1369 01:35:17,212 --> 01:35:24,093 kwamba sijawahi kuzingatia zaidi nyuma ya gurudumu kama wakati mimi ni mdudu. 1370 01:35:26,179 --> 01:35:27,513 Nimezingatia kikamilifu. 1371 01:35:28,223 --> 01:35:30,808 Kaa kwenye mstari. Unaweza kufanya hivi. 1372 01:35:32,060 --> 01:35:33,102 Mungu majira. 1373 01:35:35,355 --> 01:35:38,107 Ninapogundua, natuma meseji 1374 01:35:39,275 --> 01:35:44,239 Ninalaani watu kutoka kwa dirisha na ninamfukuza yule jamaa kwa sababu aliendesha mbele yangu. 1375 01:35:44,322 --> 01:35:45,865 Ni psychotic jamani. 1376 01:35:47,617 --> 01:35:49,202 Mlevi nadhani: 1377 01:35:49,285 --> 01:35:52,455 "Kuna sheria katika trafiki ambayo lazima izingatiwe sasa. 1378 01:35:53,623 --> 01:35:56,042 Hakuna wakati wa kukengeusha fikira.” 1379 01:35:57,835 --> 01:36:00,004 Austin, Ua Tony, tafadhali. 1380 01:36:00,088 --> 01:36:06,094 Mmoja wa umati bora, mzuri: Joe DeRosa. 1381 01:36:06,177 --> 01:36:08,012 Nyinyi ni wa ajabu. - Vivyo hivyo na wewe. 1382 01:36:08,096 --> 01:36:12,892 Unatokea kuwa mmoja washiriki wakubwa wa timu ya hadithi, 1383 01:36:12,976 --> 01:36:17,355 ambayo bado inafanya kazi sana. 1384 01:36:17,438 --> 01:36:22,193 Kila mtu anasema kitu kimoja ya toleo lako mwaka huu. 1385 01:36:22,277 --> 01:36:27,699 Bila shaka ni maalum hasa miongoni mwa wenzako. 1386 01:36:27,782 --> 01:36:31,911 Umefanya vichekesho zaidi ya miongo miwili. 1387 01:36:31,995 --> 01:36:37,792 Usiku wa leo pia napenda unavyofanya ambayo hakuna mtu mwingine anayeweza kufanya. 1388 01:36:37,875 --> 01:36:44,048 Wengi wa watazamaji waligeuka dhidi yako wakati wa sehemu ya nyasi, 1389 01:36:44,132 --> 01:36:46,092 lakini uliwashinda kwa upande wako. 1390 01:36:46,175 --> 01:36:51,597 Niliona nyani wakipiga kelele karibu sekunde 20, 1391 01:36:51,681 --> 01:36:54,225 lakini waliinuka kusimama mwishoni mwa utendaji. 1392 01:36:54,309 --> 01:36:55,768 Ni ajabu jamani. 1393 01:36:55,852 --> 01:36:58,563 Nilidhani ingekuwa. -Kwa hiyo. 1394 01:36:59,063 --> 01:37:01,941 James McCann alinionya. -Kwa hiyo. 1395 01:37:02,025 --> 01:37:04,777 Aliuliza, “Je, utawaudhi kila mtu? 1396 01:37:04,861 --> 01:37:08,364 Unasema unachukia kitu wanachopenda?" -Kwa hiyo. Zaidi ya imani. 1397 01:37:08,448 --> 01:37:12,660 naona. Asante kwa kidole cha kati. 1398 01:37:13,536 --> 01:37:14,871 Ndiyo. 1399 01:37:15,580 --> 01:37:17,874 Huna hofu kaka. 1400 01:37:17,957 --> 01:37:20,752 Nadhani umefanya kazi ya kuvutia sana. 1401 01:37:20,835 --> 01:37:25,214 Hakuna aliyefanya vivyo hivyo. Ulipata shangwe iliyosimama mwishoni. 1402 01:37:25,298 --> 01:37:26,758 Asante. - Damn nzuri. 1403 01:37:26,841 --> 01:37:31,387 Hukuiruhusu ikuathiri. -Kwa hiyo. 1404 01:37:31,471 --> 01:37:32,972 Umetumia majibu. - Uliendelea tu. 1405 01:37:33,056 --> 01:37:36,893 Ni wakati unaojulikana wakati Bill Burria alizaliwa Philadelphia. 1406 01:37:36,976 --> 01:37:39,103 Hiyo ilikuwa ladha yake. 1407 01:37:39,187 --> 01:37:42,774 Umewarudisha upande wako. Hayo ni mafanikio makubwa. 1408 01:37:42,857 --> 01:37:45,318 Ilikuwa ya ajabu. 1409 01:37:45,401 --> 01:37:50,281 Bado nasema kwamba bangi inapunguza mkazo wangu na kuboresha hali yangu. 1410 01:37:52,408 --> 01:37:56,037 Ulikuwa mwanamume kwenye uwanja, mtoto. 1411 01:37:56,120 --> 01:37:58,414 Ndiyo. -Asante. 1412 01:37:59,582 --> 01:38:02,752 Ulikuwa bondia. 1413 01:38:02,835 --> 01:38:04,754 Ulikuwa kama bondia. 1414 01:38:04,837 --> 01:38:07,882 Asante. -Ulirusha jabs na ndoano za kushoto. 1415 01:38:07,965 --> 01:38:10,593 Ulikuwa na hadhira nzima kama mpinzani wako - 1416 01:38:10,676 --> 01:38:14,138 na ukaibuka mshindi. Ilikuwa ya ajabu. 1417 01:38:14,222 --> 01:38:17,016 Asante. -Wewe ni mzuri katika vichekesho. Unaandika vizuri. 1418 01:38:17,100 --> 01:38:21,979 Ulifanya mawazo yote na unawasukuma kwenye punda wa kila mtu. 1419 01:38:22,063 --> 01:38:25,983 Ulisema, “Fuck wewe. Haya ni maoni yangu. 1420 01:38:26,067 --> 01:38:28,653 Hii ni Amerika. Unasikiliza, 1421 01:38:28,736 --> 01:38:31,280 utacheka na kupata wapanda farasi zaidi." 1422 01:38:31,364 --> 01:38:34,033 Sawa. -Umeshinda. Ulikuwa mzuri. 1423 01:38:34,117 --> 01:38:37,662 Roseanne, nashukuru hilo. Nashukuru maneno yako. 1424 01:38:37,745 --> 01:38:42,542 Nataka kusema kwamba nilikua na wewe. Kabla sijafika hapa leo, 1425 01:38:42,625 --> 01:38:46,921 Nilimpigia simu mama yangu. Nilitamani mwaka mpya na nikasema nitakutana na Roseanne Barr. 1426 01:38:47,004 --> 01:38:49,006 Sote wawili tulisisimka. 1427 01:38:49,090 --> 01:38:51,676 Ni vizuri kukutana nawe. - Asante sana. 1428 01:38:51,759 --> 01:38:53,594 Namaanisha. Wewe ni hadithi. 1429 01:38:53,678 --> 01:38:57,890 Mwambie mama yako nimesema fikra aliyoiinua. 1430 01:38:57,974 --> 01:39:01,144 Mama yako anapaswa kujivunia sana. - Kirafiki. 1431 01:39:01,227 --> 01:39:06,190 Kama ulivyosema wakuu, mada kuu ya jioni ni - 1432 01:39:06,274 --> 01:39:09,110 zungumza juu ya ukweli wako mwenyewe. 1433 01:39:09,193 --> 01:39:13,739 Ninakuahidi, hakuna mtu anayeweza kunywa zaidi ya Joe DeRosa. 1434 01:39:14,282 --> 01:39:17,118 Ndivyo alivyo kweli na mmoja wa marafiki zangu bora, 1435 01:39:17,201 --> 01:39:20,037 wa wachekeshaji ninaowapenda na rafiki yangu wa kunywa. 1436 01:39:20,121 --> 01:39:22,790 Wewe na Redban mnapendeza. Asante kwa kila kitu. 1437 01:39:22,874 --> 01:39:26,335 Ninyi nyote ni wakuu. -Yeye ni Joe DeRosa mzuri. 1438 01:39:28,254 --> 01:39:33,551 Nawaonya nyote, 1439 01:39:35,428 --> 01:39:39,265 kwamba paa linakaribia kulipuka sasa. 1440 01:39:39,348 --> 01:39:45,271 Nina mshangao maalum kwa ulimwengu wote wa Kill Tony. 1441 01:39:45,354 --> 01:39:47,106 Hutaamini. 1442 01:39:47,190 --> 01:39:50,693 Moja ya historia ya programu ya kawaida kubwa - 1443 01:39:50,776 --> 01:39:55,031 ana umri wa miaka 26 katika historia ya mfululizo, 1444 01:39:55,114 --> 01:40:00,995 ambaye alipata kisichowezekana kuhama kutoka kwa Kill Tony kawaida - 1445 01:40:01,078 --> 01:40:04,957 kama mwanachama wa kudumu kwa Saturday Night Live. 1446 01:40:05,041 --> 01:40:09,462 Sasa amerudi nyumbani, kwenda Austin, Texas. 1447 01:40:09,545 --> 01:40:12,048 Yeye ni Kam Patterson. 1448 01:40:39,575 --> 01:40:42,495 Habari yako? Nini kinaendelea? 1449 01:40:48,417 --> 01:40:50,503 Lazima niende. 1450 01:40:50,586 --> 01:40:53,339 Sikiliza. 1451 01:40:53,422 --> 01:40:56,342 Niko kwenye SNL sasa. Hiyo ni nzuri sana. 1452 01:40:57,218 --> 01:41:00,763 Hiyo ni nzuri. Naipenda. Unajua nini kichaa? 1453 01:41:01,305 --> 01:41:05,351 Watu wanaonekana kufurahishwa nayo zaidi yangu. 1454 01:41:05,434 --> 01:41:08,688 Wanaendelea kusema: "Hongera. Kazi nzuri. Mkuu." 1455 01:41:08,771 --> 01:41:11,566 Ni jambo kubwa, lakini ipate, 1456 01:41:11,649 --> 01:41:14,569 kwamba nina umri wa miaka 26 mweusi. Sikuwahi kutazama kipindi hicho. 1457 01:41:14,652 --> 01:41:15,528 Hakuna - 1458 01:41:17,196 --> 01:41:20,783 hakuna wazo nilienda na nini. 1459 01:41:20,866 --> 01:41:24,662 Nipo tu. Sio kazi yetu. 1460 01:41:24,745 --> 01:41:27,206 Ni kwa wazungu kaka. 1461 01:41:27,290 --> 01:41:30,543 Kuna watu mashuhuri, ambayo sijawahi kusikia. 1462 01:41:30,626 --> 01:41:34,964 Wakati mmoja kulikuwa na Glenn Powell. Nilikuwa najiuliza tu nani? 1463 01:41:35,047 --> 01:41:38,926 Nikasikia, "Alikuwa kwenye Top Gun." sijaiona. 1464 01:41:39,010 --> 01:41:42,888 Kulikuwa na Miles Teller. Nilikuwa najiuliza tu nani? 1465 01:41:42,972 --> 01:41:44,473 "Alikuwa kwenye Top Gun." 1466 01:41:44,557 --> 01:41:47,059 Nikasema, "Nitaenda shit." 1467 01:41:47,810 --> 01:41:51,647 Nitasema moja kwa moja sasa, 1468 01:41:51,731 --> 01:41:56,027 lakini kwa nia njema tu, kwamba ni shoga. 1469 01:41:56,110 --> 01:41:57,486 Hiyo ni shoga kweli, nyie. 1470 01:41:58,112 --> 01:42:02,241 Hiyo ni shoga jamani. Nilifanya hivi kwenye televisheni ya taifa. 1471 01:42:05,411 --> 01:42:08,372 Niliwahi kumpiga risasi kijana mmoja. Je, unaelewa? 1472 01:42:09,248 --> 01:42:11,792 Unaona jinsi maisha yanavyobadilika? 1473 01:42:12,335 --> 01:42:15,296 Kabla kulikuwa na: "Kwa njia hii, wewe mwili fucking!" Kisha… 1474 01:42:16,213 --> 01:42:17,757 Ni kichaa. 1475 01:42:18,966 --> 01:42:21,552 Nitasema jambo moja kuhusu show hiyo. 1476 01:42:21,636 --> 01:42:25,389 Nitasema hivi kisha nitatoweka. Nawaambia nyie, 1477 01:42:26,724 --> 01:42:29,644 kwamba siipendi jinsi ilivyofunua biashara yangu. 1478 01:42:29,727 --> 01:42:33,814 Nilijikimu kimaisha kwa kufanya stand up comedy kabla ya SNL, 1479 01:42:33,898 --> 01:42:36,859 lakini familia yangu haikujua hilo. 1480 01:42:36,942 --> 01:42:42,239 Hilo ndilo tatizo, kwa sababu kila mtu anahitaji pesa siku hizi. 1481 01:42:42,323 --> 01:42:43,240 Tatizo ni… 1482 01:42:44,241 --> 01:42:45,868 Tatizo ni hili. 1483 01:42:45,951 --> 01:42:48,829 Nina furaha kusaidia katika masuala ya pesa. 1484 01:42:48,913 --> 01:42:52,708 Ni sawa, lakini ikiwa unahitaji pesa, sema moja kwa moja. 1485 01:42:52,792 --> 01:42:57,421 Shangazi yangu anaweza kufanya hivyo. Anasema, "Halo, angalia Programu ya Fedha. Kwaheri.” Hiyo ni nzuri. 1486 01:42:57,963 --> 01:42:59,965 Anajua, lakini binamu wanaita na kuuliza: 1487 01:43:00,049 --> 01:43:05,179 "Habari yako?" "Ninajivunia wewe." "Kushangaza." "Nina kiburi sana." 1488 01:43:05,262 --> 01:43:07,932 Ninajibu: "Asante. Habari yako?" Wanasema, “Mimi? 1489 01:43:08,015 --> 01:43:09,767 Sio vizuri hata kidogo. 1490 01:43:10,976 --> 01:43:12,978 Nina deni mbaya. 1491 01:43:13,062 --> 01:43:16,649 Ikiwa sitalipwa hivi karibuni, Nitalazimika kula mtoto wangu, kaka." 1492 01:43:16,732 --> 01:43:21,862 Ninauliza, "Unahitaji kiasi gani?" Wanajibu, "$17,000 tu." 1493 01:43:22,988 --> 01:43:27,827 Kula mtoto wako, mwanaharamu. Siwezi kusaidia. Wewe ni screwed. 1494 01:43:27,910 --> 01:43:31,664 Inafurahisha ingawa, ambayo napenda kumwambia baba yangu 1495 01:43:31,747 --> 01:43:36,419 binamu zangu wanapoomba pesa lakini sitasema nani aliuliza. 1496 01:43:36,502 --> 01:43:37,753 Anapaswa kukisia. 1497 01:43:37,837 --> 01:43:40,965 Yeye huwaza vibaya kila wakati, lakini sababu ni za kuridhisha. 1498 01:43:41,048 --> 01:43:44,844 Anauliza, “Je, huyo alikuwa Lil' Gerald? Anavuta ufa. 1499 01:43:44,927 --> 01:43:49,974 Ikiwa ulimpa zaidi ya $ 200, huo ugomvi umetoweka sasa. Je, unajua? 1500 01:43:50,057 --> 01:43:51,726 Ulimuua Lil' Gerald." 1501 01:43:51,809 --> 01:43:54,562 sikujua kwamba Lil' Gerald anavuta sigara ufa. 1502 01:43:54,645 --> 01:43:59,984 Nilidhani alikuwa anatania kwa ajili ya kujifurahisha. Sikujua ilikuwa serious. 1503 01:44:00,067 --> 01:44:02,737 Mtu mmoja katika familia yangu amevuta dawa za kweli. 1504 01:44:02,820 --> 01:44:04,905 Ni Mjomba Herb. 1505 01:44:04,989 --> 01:44:06,866 Yeye ni mraibu wa ufa tu. 1506 01:44:06,949 --> 01:44:10,453 Wakati ufa ulipoingia sokoni, alisema: "Hili ni jambo langu milele." 1507 01:44:10,536 --> 01:44:11,829 Anaipenda. 1508 01:44:11,912 --> 01:44:15,875 Pia alipiga simu na kuomba pesa, lakini anaifurahisha. 1509 01:44:16,542 --> 01:44:19,128 Anacheza na kuunda njama ya sinema. 1510 01:44:19,211 --> 01:44:24,258 Anasema, “Kijana, hutaamini mambo haya. 1511 01:44:25,259 --> 01:44:29,138 Nimetekwa nyara na kufungwa kwenye basement. 1512 01:44:29,221 --> 01:44:33,184 Nahitaji $45, kuondoka hapa." 1513 01:44:34,727 --> 01:44:37,646 Mimi ni kama, "Ndio, sifikiri hivyo, dude." 1514 01:44:38,147 --> 01:44:40,566 Anasema, "Je, unataka kuzungumza na watekaji nyara?" 1515 01:44:40,649 --> 01:44:42,610 Ninasema, "Ndio, nipe simu." 1516 01:44:42,693 --> 01:44:45,571 Hiyo ni junkie mwingine. “Tumempata mjomba wako jamani. 1517 01:44:46,781 --> 01:44:50,951 Njoo umchukue mjomba wako.” Ninamtumia pesa kila wakati. 1518 01:44:52,661 --> 01:44:56,457 Inafurahisha, kwamba asikate simu kwa wakati. 1519 01:44:56,540 --> 01:44:59,668 Huwa namsikia akisema: "Ilikuwa nafuu tena. 1520 01:45:00,544 --> 01:45:03,589 Nani angemteka nyara mraibu wa ufa? Changanya." 1521 01:45:03,672 --> 01:45:05,883 Mimi ni Kam Pat, asante kila mtu. 1522 01:45:05,966 --> 01:45:09,595 Lo! Amerudi! 1523 01:45:10,805 --> 01:45:12,181 zetu, 1524 01:45:12,890 --> 01:45:16,811 Kam Patterson wetu mrembo amerudi. 1525 01:45:17,311 --> 01:45:19,271 Nina furaha sana kuhusu hilo. 1526 01:45:20,231 --> 01:45:24,235 Haiaminiki. Karibu nyumbani. 1527 01:45:24,318 --> 01:45:26,737 Ni vizuri kuwa nyumbani. - Zaidi ya imani. 1528 01:45:26,821 --> 01:45:29,615 Unaweka dau. Damn nzuri. 1529 01:45:29,698 --> 01:45:31,992 Jamani, jamani. - Sikiliza, Cam. 1530 01:45:32,076 --> 01:45:34,578 Nilikuwa kwenye Saturday Night Live na niseme tu 1531 01:45:34,662 --> 01:45:36,956 kwamba umetoka kirahisi. $ 45 sio mbaya. 1532 01:45:37,039 --> 01:45:40,251 Unaweza kulipia hizo. Nilipokuwa kwenye SNL mwenyewe - 1533 01:45:40,334 --> 01:45:44,129 na wanafamilia walitaka pesa, ilikuwa muhimu. 1534 01:45:44,630 --> 01:45:47,633 Sasa ni wakati wa kujiendeleza tatizo la kutisha la kamari. 1535 01:45:48,801 --> 01:45:52,263 Unasema tu: "Nimepoteza kila kitu. Samahani. Siwezi kujizuia." 1536 01:45:52,346 --> 01:45:55,182 "Shiti nzima iliwaka." Ndivyo ninavyosema. - Fanya hivyo. 1537 01:45:55,266 --> 01:46:00,646 Hiyo ndiyo ninayopendekeza. Unaweza kujaribu. - Furaha. 1538 01:46:00,729 --> 01:46:05,609 Nimependa ulichosema kwamba unapata pesa nyingi kabla ya SNL. 1539 01:46:05,693 --> 01:46:08,696 Ulifanikiwa sana kabla ya SNL, 1540 01:46:08,779 --> 01:46:12,575 lakini SNL ilifunua kwa familia yako, umepata kiasi gani 1541 01:46:12,658 --> 01:46:16,871 Nilisikia kishindo cha kicheko na kuona, kwamba alikuwa Fluffy. 1542 01:46:16,954 --> 01:46:23,002 Mwanaume ndiye mcheshi anayelipwa zaidi na labda atasikia kutoka kwa familia yake. 1543 01:46:23,085 --> 01:46:25,129 Mzaha lazima uwe umeanguka. - Wanauliza kila wakati. 1544 01:46:25,212 --> 01:46:28,132 Wanafikiri mbona hapendi mambo tena? 1545 01:46:28,215 --> 01:46:29,592 Kwa sababu familia inafuata. 1546 01:46:30,634 --> 01:46:34,096 Kuna nini, Netflix? Sikusema nakuja hapa pia. 1547 01:46:34,179 --> 01:46:38,017 Nitapigiwa simu kesho. Wacha tuombe $45. 1548 01:46:38,976 --> 01:46:42,980 Mafanikio yako yamehakikishwa. 1549 01:46:43,063 --> 01:46:46,025 Wewe ni nyota. Inaendelea vizuri. -Asante. 1550 01:46:46,108 --> 01:46:49,486 Wewe ndiye kifurushi kizima. SNL ni nzuri kwako. 1551 01:46:49,570 --> 01:46:51,030 Naipenda sana. 1552 01:46:51,113 --> 01:46:55,242 Unapoanza kutengeneza sinema, basi tutaanza kuuliza. 1553 01:46:55,326 --> 01:46:57,870 Inabidi ubadilishe anwani yako, nambari yako na kila kitu. 1554 01:46:57,953 --> 01:47:01,081 Imetunzwa. Hawajui ninapoishi. 1555 01:47:03,000 --> 01:47:04,126 Roseanne Barr? 1556 01:47:04,209 --> 01:47:08,881 Nakumbuka wakati Tony alinipeleka kwenye klabu na kusema: 1557 01:47:08,964 --> 01:47:11,342 "Nataka kukuonyesha mtu." 1558 01:47:11,425 --> 01:47:13,594 Nilikuambia hivi. - Ndio, bibi. 1559 01:47:13,677 --> 01:47:16,597 Alisema, "Nenda huko" 1560 01:47:16,680 --> 01:47:21,143 Tulikwenda kwenye balcony. Nilitazama ukiwa hapo. 1561 01:47:22,061 --> 01:47:26,815 Ulikuwa kwenye klabu ndogo. 1562 01:47:26,899 --> 01:47:30,027 Nikasema, “Anatawala jukwaa. 1563 01:47:30,110 --> 01:47:33,739 Anatumia hatua nzima." Akasema, "Mtazame mvulana." 1564 01:47:33,822 --> 01:47:38,911 Nikawaza, “Mungu. 1565 01:47:39,578 --> 01:47:41,538 Hiki ni kizazi kipya. 1566 01:47:42,206 --> 01:47:43,123 Hii ni…” 1567 01:47:45,459 --> 01:47:47,044 Nilimwambia Tony: 1568 01:47:47,127 --> 01:47:52,257 "Yeye ndiye kifurushi kizima na zaidi." 1569 01:47:52,341 --> 01:47:55,469 Unajua nakupenda. Wewe ni halisi. 1570 01:47:55,552 --> 01:47:58,305 Maisha yako ni ya kweli. Una moyo. 1571 01:47:58,389 --> 01:48:02,685 Vichekesho vyako ni vya kweli. Wewe ni wa ajabu. - Tunakubali. 1572 01:48:03,310 --> 01:48:04,561 Wewe ni wa ajabu. 1573 01:48:05,980 --> 01:48:09,274 Tumekuwa tukifanya hivi pamoja kwa muda mrefu. 1574 01:48:09,358 --> 01:48:11,860 Tulikuwa mara nyingi kwenye bustani ya Madison Square, 1575 01:48:11,944 --> 01:48:16,907 kwenye Jukwaa la Los Angeles, katika viwanja vinne hapa Austin. 1576 01:48:16,991 --> 01:48:22,121 Sijawahi kukuona kama usiku wa leo. 1577 01:48:22,204 --> 01:48:24,999 Tunapata kufuata ukuaji wako. 1578 01:48:25,082 --> 01:48:28,919 Inatukumbusha hivyo kwamba tunaweza kuendelea kila wakati - 1579 01:48:29,003 --> 01:48:31,672 ukuaji na maendeleo. 1580 01:48:31,755 --> 01:48:36,093 Mara kadhaa ulikuja tu kikombe cha maji na kipande cha karatasi. 1581 01:48:36,176 --> 01:48:40,556 Nilikuwa kwenye miti kwenye viwanja tupu. 1582 01:48:40,639 --> 01:48:44,685 Nikawaza, "Je! ninafanya nini?" Kulikuwa na muda kidogo. 1583 01:48:44,768 --> 01:48:47,187 Nadhani unaelewa. -Ajabu. 1584 01:48:47,271 --> 01:48:50,524 Wewe ni mzuri. - Ditto, Roseanne. 1585 01:48:50,607 --> 01:48:55,738 Kam Patterson alizaliwa na kukulia hapa katika ardhi ya Kill Tony. 1586 01:48:55,821 --> 01:48:58,907 Tunashukuru sana, kwamba umekuja hapa leo. 1587 01:48:58,991 --> 01:49:01,076 Kushangaza. - Tunakupenda kila wakati. 1588 01:49:01,160 --> 01:49:04,079 Wewe ni sehemu ya familia kila wakati. 1589 01:49:04,163 --> 01:49:07,916 Tutaona kwa hakika kwenye bustani ya Madison Square mwezi Agosti. 1590 01:49:08,000 --> 01:49:10,794 Wewe ni nyota. 1591 01:49:10,878 --> 01:49:14,048 Tunaweza kupiga kelele kwa sauti gani Kwa heshima ya Kam Patterson? 1592 01:49:17,926 --> 01:49:21,388 Ameweka urefu mpya kwa 1593 01:49:21,472 --> 01:49:25,726 nini mara kwa mara Ua Tony mwigizaji anaweza kufikia. 1594 01:49:25,809 --> 01:49:27,019 Kushangaza. 1595 01:49:27,770 --> 01:49:31,732 Wacha tuwapigie kelele tena hawa wanawake. Ajabu kabisa. 1596 01:49:32,274 --> 01:49:37,029 Inakaribia kupata pori kidogo tena. Nakuonya. 1597 01:49:37,112 --> 01:49:40,574 Inayofuata ni mshindi mwingine wa tikiti ya dhahabu. 1598 01:49:40,657 --> 01:49:43,577 Labda yeye ndiye historia ya onyesho mshindi mkubwa wa tikiti za dhahabu. 1599 01:49:43,660 --> 01:49:45,746 Yeye ndiye mtu pekee ninayemwogopa - 1600 01:49:45,829 --> 01:49:49,416 na hiyo inanifanya nifanye kufanya chochote anachotaka. 1601 01:49:49,500 --> 01:49:51,001 Unajua ni nani. 1602 01:49:51,085 --> 01:49:56,465 Hili haliwezi kushindwa, pekee Timmy Hakuna Breki! 1603 01:50:05,474 --> 01:50:06,350 Sasa. 1604 01:50:07,643 --> 01:50:09,103 Nitasema moja kwa moja. 1605 01:50:10,187 --> 01:50:14,191 Nilisikia kuwa naweza kupata waya hapa na ninaruka pande zote. 1606 01:50:17,027 --> 01:50:21,156 Kabla sijafika jukwaani, Tone alifichua mambo hayo. 1607 01:50:22,950 --> 01:50:26,078 Inavyoonekana sivyo, kwa sababu ilikuwa ghali sana. 1608 01:50:27,121 --> 01:50:31,250 Kila kitu ningefanya angani, Nitaifanya na kamera ya nchi. 1609 01:50:32,126 --> 01:50:35,712 Na hakuna hata shit hii rudi kwenye fahamu zako. 1610 01:50:37,089 --> 01:50:39,550 Kwa urefu, mimi hutupa seti za hewa 1611 01:50:39,675 --> 01:50:42,219 Kamba zinalemea mwili wangu 1612 01:50:42,302 --> 01:50:44,513 Ninaruka angani! Hakuna miguu juu ya ardhi 1613 01:50:44,596 --> 01:50:47,182 Mimi ni Timmy Breki, kahaba! Sijashuka 1614 01:50:47,266 --> 01:50:49,518 Uwanja mzima utanifahamu 1615 01:50:49,601 --> 01:50:52,104 Titi nzuri! Pata wito 1616 01:50:52,187 --> 01:50:54,565 Juu, ninakojoa kwenye kofia ya Latina 1617 01:50:54,648 --> 01:50:57,276 Unaweza kuona Dick yangu hadi chini 1618 01:50:57,359 --> 01:50:59,695 Boobs juu ya kaunta! Toa punda zako 1619 01:50:59,778 --> 01:51:02,531 Pua hutoka damu zaidi 1620 01:51:02,614 --> 01:51:04,950 211, safu B, weka kwenye ya tatu 1621 01:51:05,033 --> 01:51:06,410 Nyinyi ni wajinga 1622 01:51:06,511 --> 01:51:10,080 Ninacheza kamari kwenye Hollywood ya Magharibi 1623 01:51:10,581 --> 01:51:12,958 Naam, basi kwenda. Unaweza kuanza changamoto, mashoga. 1624 01:51:23,427 --> 01:51:25,596 Je, unacheka sasa, Tone? 1625 01:51:29,141 --> 01:51:33,520 Timmy, ninaiangalia. 1626 01:51:35,189 --> 01:51:36,982 Wewe… - Je! 1627 01:51:39,484 --> 01:51:44,907 Nitakuangalia. Ingegharimu $70,000 1628 01:51:44,990 --> 01:51:50,954 Hiyo itakuwa ndege ya gharama kubwa. -Nililipa $450,000! 1629 01:51:51,038 --> 01:51:54,291 Ndege za F18 za Jeshi la Anga zilipaswa kuruka kutoka hapa. 1630 01:51:54,374 --> 01:51:58,003 Sasa, Tone, ona jinsi ninavyoruka. 1631 01:52:02,299 --> 01:52:04,259 Huu ni usiku wa huzuni zaidi maishani mwangu. 1632 01:52:06,053 --> 01:52:08,597 Kwa nini umefunikwa na lami? 1633 01:52:08,680 --> 01:52:12,142 Ni kizuia moto. Nilikuwa naenda kujiwasha moto hewani. 1634 01:52:12,226 --> 01:52:13,644 Hiyo ingekuwa ya kushangaza. 1635 01:52:15,270 --> 01:52:16,146 Jamani! 1636 01:52:20,525 --> 01:52:22,319 Ninahisi kama mjinga. 1637 01:52:30,202 --> 01:52:32,537 Kwa nini paa imefungwa? 1638 01:52:34,289 --> 01:52:35,582 Jamani! 1639 01:52:43,465 --> 01:52:46,551 Anza mahojiano. Unataka kujua nini? 1640 01:52:47,594 --> 01:52:50,180 Mungu, wewe ni wa kipekee. 1641 01:52:50,931 --> 01:52:55,352 Wewe ni mbali na kawaida. Ni mambo ya ubunifu. 1642 01:52:55,435 --> 01:52:59,022 Pia ninaunda maisha. Nitasema moja kwa moja. 1643 01:53:01,108 --> 01:53:04,695 Hebu tumpigie makofi Roseanne. Anatarajia mtoto wangu! 1644 01:53:06,154 --> 01:53:08,782 Habari kuhusu Kill Tony. 1645 01:53:09,283 --> 01:53:11,535 Nzuri! - Inamfaa. 1646 01:53:11,618 --> 01:53:13,870 Ninakupenda wewe na pussy yako, mama mkwe. 1647 01:53:13,954 --> 01:53:15,080 Ni kali. 1648 01:53:15,914 --> 01:53:17,666 Timmy! -Timmy ni… 1649 01:53:17,749 --> 01:53:18,750 Subiri. 1650 01:53:26,174 --> 01:53:29,511 Naweza kueleza. Ningeweka Kijapani mmoja - 1651 01:53:29,594 --> 01:53:32,639 angani katikati ya hadhira. Bila shaka angemfukuza kazi. 1652 01:53:32,723 --> 01:53:36,727 Nilitaka kila mtu ajue hilo. Tuendelee. Swali linalofuata. 1653 01:53:43,525 --> 01:53:48,322 Timmy, kwa nini bado unayo kamba zote na vifaa vingine? 1654 01:53:48,405 --> 01:53:51,533 Nilisikia dakika tano zilizopita, Tone! 1655 01:53:53,618 --> 01:53:55,412 Nani alipanga hilo? 1656 01:53:58,915 --> 01:54:01,335 Gabriel Iglesias alisema kuhama hiyo. 1657 01:54:01,418 --> 01:54:04,254 Hivi ndivyo wacheshi wa mastaa hufanya. 1658 01:54:04,796 --> 01:54:06,465 Hivi ndivyo vichekesho hufanywa. 1659 01:54:07,424 --> 01:54:10,218 Lo! Ninawaka moto! 1660 01:54:10,302 --> 01:54:11,470 La, laana! 1661 01:54:18,435 --> 01:54:21,355 Wakati huo nililazimika kushika moto! 1662 01:54:24,649 --> 01:54:27,611 Je, ninaweza kupata daiquiri ya sitroberi au kitu kingine? 1663 01:54:27,694 --> 01:54:30,655 Mimi… - Daiquiri ya strawberry? 1664 01:54:30,739 --> 01:54:33,909 Nadhani watazamaji itatoa $74,000 - 1665 01:54:33,992 --> 01:54:35,952 kukuona moto sasa. 1666 01:54:39,081 --> 01:54:40,916 Lazima kuna mtu. 1667 01:54:41,666 --> 01:54:45,420 Kuna mtu ana pesa za Texas. -Nilianzisha kampeni ya GoFundMe. 1668 01:54:45,504 --> 01:54:47,964 Hakuna mzaha. Tunachangisha pesa. 1669 01:54:48,632 --> 01:54:52,135 Tone tayari iliahidi $15,000. Hebu tumpigie makofi. 1670 01:54:53,845 --> 01:54:56,890 Je, ulifanya hivyo? - Sijui. 1671 01:54:56,973 --> 01:54:58,392 Wewe ni mcheshi sana, Timmy. 1672 01:54:58,475 --> 01:55:00,352 Nilipenda hilo. 1673 01:55:00,435 --> 01:55:02,354 Ndiyo, ndiyo. 1674 01:55:02,437 --> 01:55:05,899 Unanichekesha. Umenichekesha, mtoto. 1675 01:55:07,025 --> 01:55:12,614 Oh, baba. Mtoto anacheka sana? Oh ndiyo. Mtoto alijeruhiwa. 1676 01:55:12,697 --> 01:55:17,577 Baba amwadhibu mtoto mdogo anayenuka. Ndio, napenda. 1677 01:55:18,829 --> 01:55:22,040 Hii inakuja kwenye TV, Tone. Hupaswi kuongea hivyo. 1678 01:55:22,124 --> 01:55:25,627 Hiyo ni fujo. "Mtoto mdogo mwenye harufu mbaya?" Jamani mambo. 1679 01:55:25,710 --> 01:55:28,880 Je! unaweza kuziba tundu la mtoto mdogo - 1680 01:55:28,964 --> 01:55:30,966 na pacifier yako kubwa? 1681 01:55:32,592 --> 01:55:33,969 Nimefurahi uliuliza. 1682 01:55:34,511 --> 01:55:37,305 Niko kwenye ziara. Nenda kwa timmynobreaks.com. 1683 01:55:37,389 --> 01:55:40,809 Watazamaji wapendwa, aina hii haiwezi kupuuzwa. 1684 01:55:42,185 --> 01:55:44,396 Yeye ndiye pekee. Sasa. 1685 01:55:45,355 --> 01:55:47,816 Usifanye. Timmy, ondoa kuzimu hapa. 1686 01:55:51,361 --> 01:55:52,863 Mke wangu alinitelekeza. 1687 01:55:52,946 --> 01:55:58,201 Kuna Timmy Hakuna Breki. Yeye ni wa aina yake. 1688 01:56:00,036 --> 01:56:02,873 Natoa mikopo. Umati ulikuwa tayari kwa mosh. 1689 01:56:02,956 --> 01:56:06,126 Watazamaji usiku wa leo ni wa ajabu. 1690 01:56:06,209 --> 01:56:10,755 Vipi kuhusu kujipigia makofi? Umekuwa ukifanya fujo usiku kucha. 1691 01:56:11,548 --> 01:56:16,011 Wewe ni hadhira kubwa. Zaidi ya imani. 1692 01:56:24,311 --> 01:56:25,645 Suala. 1693 01:56:26,938 --> 01:56:29,608 Watoto, mko wapi? 1694 01:56:31,943 --> 01:56:36,281 Kuna nini? - Nina lollipops na ice cream. 1695 01:56:36,364 --> 01:56:39,534 Kila kitu ni bure leo. 1696 01:56:40,285 --> 01:56:42,287 Tokeni nje, watoto. -Muumba. 1697 01:56:42,370 --> 01:56:49,336 Ice cream na lollipops bure leo, watoto. 1698 01:56:49,836 --> 01:56:55,634 Keki za Keki, Mabomu ya Kuhara, donuts tamu za blueberry, 1699 01:56:55,717 --> 01:57:00,347 mikate ya mdalasini ya Kichina, mkate wa nyama wa marshmallow - 1700 01:57:00,430 --> 01:57:03,892 na mirija ya uzazi ya dada yako, watoto. 1701 01:57:05,560 --> 01:57:10,065 Huu ni uigaji wangu Kuhusu mtekaji nyara wa watoto wa Minnesota. 1702 01:57:12,984 --> 01:57:13,860 Suala. 1703 01:57:15,695 --> 01:57:16,571 Tatizo? 1704 01:57:22,077 --> 01:57:24,037 Je! watoto wako wapi? 1705 01:57:27,499 --> 01:57:29,167 Mnyonyaji. 1706 01:57:29,251 --> 01:57:34,798 Kitamu, corny. 1707 01:57:36,174 --> 01:57:38,552 Ni hayo tu Chitty Chitty Bang mhalifu. 1708 01:57:38,635 --> 01:57:42,055 Nilijifunza hadithi miezi miwili iliyopita. - Bure leo! 1709 01:57:42,138 --> 01:57:45,725 Lollipops, donuts za blueberry, 1710 01:57:46,226 --> 01:57:52,857 burgers ya pilipili ya mdalasini na burgers ya limao-raspberry-bacon - 1711 01:57:52,941 --> 01:57:55,777 pata kila kitu bure leo. 1712 01:58:02,492 --> 01:58:04,995 Zote bure leo. 1713 01:58:06,496 --> 01:58:09,249 Mabibi na mabwana, mambo vipi? 1714 01:58:12,961 --> 01:58:16,923 Piga kelele kwa heshima ya mgeni wa 2024. 1715 01:58:17,007 --> 01:58:18,717 Yeye ni Harland Williams! 1716 01:58:35,051 --> 01:58:36,776 Je, inaendeleaje? 1717 01:58:38,695 --> 01:58:40,947 Hii ni kutibu. 1718 01:58:42,657 --> 01:58:48,413 Nilizunguka, Tony, Roseanne, Dave, kila mtu. 1719 01:58:48,496 --> 01:58:51,625 Nilizunguka Austin, 1720 01:58:52,667 --> 01:58:55,503 na mrembo wa Austin alinitambua. 1721 01:58:55,587 --> 01:59:00,592 Mchumba mwenye umri wa miaka ishirini alinitambua. 1722 01:59:00,675 --> 01:59:03,845 Alifanya hivyo na kusema: "Nakupenda, Harland." 1723 01:59:03,928 --> 01:59:07,265 Nikasema, “Jasiri sana, jamani. Hata sikujui. 1724 01:59:07,349 --> 01:59:09,976 Unamaanisha nini kusema hivyo?" 1725 01:59:10,060 --> 01:59:13,521 Alisema, “Sema wewe, nini akilini mwako." 1726 01:59:14,189 --> 01:59:15,398 Nikasema, "Sawa." 1727 01:59:21,196 --> 01:59:22,906 Alinionyesha hivi. 1728 01:59:23,657 --> 01:59:24,949 Nikasema, “Hapana, asante. 1729 01:59:25,033 --> 01:59:27,952 Sipendi michezo ya kitako, lakini asante kwa kuuliza." 1730 01:59:29,579 --> 01:59:33,667 Una wangapi hicho kikohozi kinachozunguka? 1731 01:59:36,002 --> 01:59:38,171 Asante kwa kukaa mbele. 1732 01:59:39,005 --> 01:59:41,925 Umeamka? baridi hiyo asubuhi? 1733 01:59:42,008 --> 01:59:44,761 Kuna snot na hiccups hizo. 1734 01:59:44,844 --> 01:59:48,431 Kinyago hicho cha Mucinex amesimama mwisho wa kitanda. 1735 01:59:48,515 --> 01:59:52,310 Yeye ni kinyago kidogo dawa ya kijani. Anasema, "Utakufa, jamani." 1736 01:59:54,062 --> 01:59:58,024 Ninafanya ibada na mpenzi wangu. Tunapoamka asubuhi, 1737 01:59:58,858 --> 02:00:01,569 anafanya jambo la kupendeza ambapo anasema: 1738 02:00:01,653 --> 02:00:04,781 "Asubuhi, ndege yangu ya mapema." Kisha anafanya hivi. 1739 02:00:13,790 --> 02:00:17,752 Sasa anaamka na baridi, na hadithi inakwenda kama hii: "Asubuhi." 1740 02:00:22,257 --> 02:00:25,135 Nilioga naye. Je, unafanya hivyo? 1741 02:00:25,218 --> 02:00:28,179 Je, unaoga na mpenzi wako - 1742 02:00:28,263 --> 02:00:31,558 na unajiuliza nani anapata maji ya moto? 1743 02:00:31,641 --> 02:00:36,229 Kuoga ni saizi hii tu, ghafla - 1744 02:00:36,312 --> 02:00:39,107 kuoga ni sakafu ya ngoma ya mraba. 1745 02:00:39,691 --> 02:00:40,755 Inakwenda hivi. 1746 02:00:40,859 --> 02:00:45,280 Niko kuoga na kijana Jogoo wangu anaganda hadi kufa 1747 02:00:45,905 --> 02:00:49,909 Fanya-si-fanya, wacha tugeuke Nilimpa sabuni bum yake 1748 02:00:50,910 --> 02:00:52,454 Ninamvuta kwa busu 1749 02:00:52,537 --> 02:00:55,081 Asipogundua, naenda kukojoa 1750 02:00:56,499 --> 02:00:57,584 Wewe fanya vivyo hivyo. 1751 02:00:57,667 --> 02:01:01,629 Wakati rafiki wa kike anaosha nywele zake, ngapi piss juu ya miguu yake? 1752 02:01:04,382 --> 02:01:08,344 Anauliza: "Kwa nini maji yanawaka kama jellyfish? 1753 02:01:10,972 --> 02:01:12,515 Pua hii inahitaji kuondolewa. 1754 02:01:12,599 --> 02:01:17,187 Ni kama kuwa katika chumba cha mvuke kwenye ukumbi wa mazoezi, wakati dude fulani anainuka mbele yangu. 1755 02:01:19,063 --> 02:01:20,064 Kuhisi mjinga. 1756 02:01:20,148 --> 02:01:23,318 Jambo la mwisho nataka kufanya kwenye TV ya taifa, 1757 02:01:23,401 --> 02:01:24,611 ni kuonekana mjinga. 1758 02:01:34,162 --> 02:01:35,955 Tony, asante kwa mwaliko. 1759 02:01:36,039 --> 02:01:39,542 Dada yangu aliondolewa tu tezi za mate. 1760 02:01:40,084 --> 02:01:43,463 Mpe makofi. Baraka na heri ya mwaka mpya. 1761 02:01:43,546 --> 02:01:46,549 Asante sana. -Harland Williams. 1762 02:01:48,426 --> 02:01:51,471 Kila kitu ni bure leo, watoto. 1763 02:01:51,554 --> 02:01:53,264 Asante. Heri ya mwaka mpya. 1764 02:01:53,348 --> 02:01:57,310 Onyesha neema yako kwa Harland Williams mkuu. 1765 02:01:57,393 --> 02:01:59,896 Anatuheshimu kwa uwepo wake. 1766 02:01:59,979 --> 02:02:05,735 Yeye ndiye mgeni wa 2024, 1767 02:02:05,819 --> 02:02:09,280 aliyetuchukua kwa wakati maalum katika historia ya onyesho. 1768 02:02:09,364 --> 02:02:11,783 Kila Mkesha wa Mwaka Mpya kwa miaka mitatu - 1769 02:02:11,866 --> 02:02:17,038 tumetoa tuzo ya Mgeni Bora wa Mwaka kwenye mkesha wa Mwaka Mpya. 1770 02:02:17,121 --> 02:02:19,457 Mwaka huu sio ubaguzi. 1771 02:02:19,541 --> 02:02:24,003 Tunashiriki iliyothaminiwa sana Tuzo la Kill Tony, 1772 02:02:24,087 --> 02:02:30,635 Watazamaji wapendwa, tafadhali tupigie makofi kwa rafiki yetu, Austin mwenyewe - 1773 02:02:31,469 --> 02:02:33,513 Kwa Joe Rogan. 1774 02:02:41,646 --> 02:02:42,897 Heri ya mwaka mpya! 1775 02:02:44,399 --> 02:02:45,733 Asante sana. 1776 02:02:46,609 --> 02:02:49,153 Unafikiri nini kuhusu Kill Tony? 1777 02:02:52,699 --> 02:02:57,287 Kill Tony's Mgeni Bora wa Mwaka 2025 - 1778 02:02:57,370 --> 02:03:02,166 waliopiga kura, kati ya wasanii wa filamu na bendi. 1779 02:03:02,250 --> 02:03:06,838 Katika hali ya kushangaza kura iliisha kwa sare. 1780 02:03:06,921 --> 02:03:08,506 Video ya kucheza! 1781 02:03:09,299 --> 02:03:10,842 Kila Jumatatu kwa miaka 12… 1782 02:03:10,925 --> 02:03:11,927 2025 MGENI WA MWAKA 1783 02:03:12,027 --> 02:03:15,930 ...tumetoa kipindi. Mtu huyu hajawahi kushiriki hapo awali. 1784 02:03:16,014 --> 02:03:19,934 Yeye ni mmoja wa wacheshi bora wa wakati wote. 1785 02:03:20,018 --> 02:03:22,312 Inuka na ufanye fujo - 1786 02:03:22,395 --> 02:03:24,772 kwa kilele kikuu na chenye nguvu cha Karoti! 1787 02:03:27,901 --> 02:03:29,694 Acha kwenda! 1788 02:03:31,529 --> 02:03:33,948 Nina tatizo. -Sasa. 1789 02:03:34,032 --> 02:03:36,659 Kwa mtego huu wa panya panya mashoga wamekamatwa. 1790 02:03:40,038 --> 02:03:42,415 Hiki ni kikombe cha kahawa kwa wasagaji. 1791 02:03:43,958 --> 02:03:45,919 Ni taulo kwa safari ya Disney. 1792 02:03:46,961 --> 02:03:49,213 Unaweza kutembea kuzunguka bwawa kama hii. 1793 02:03:49,297 --> 02:03:52,050 Picha ingesambaa kwenye mtandao. ningekaa hapo, 1794 02:03:52,133 --> 02:03:55,261 wakati matibabu ya moto ya Carrot Top hutegemea. 1795 02:03:57,472 --> 02:04:00,224 Mmoja wa waigizaji wakubwa wa filamu za vichekesho, 1796 02:04:00,308 --> 02:04:03,770 wasikilizaji wazuri, ngoja nikutambulishe na mgeni wetu Rob Schneider! 1797 02:04:05,939 --> 02:04:09,651 Unaweza kufanya hivyo. Show namba moja duniani! 1798 02:04:09,734 --> 02:04:11,444 Ndiyo. - Wacha tuende! 1799 02:04:12,320 --> 02:04:15,073 Unafanya kazi gani? -Ninasaidia wakala wa mali isiyohamishika. 1800 02:04:15,156 --> 02:04:17,951 Kulingana na uzoefu wangu, hata katika nusu 1801 02:04:18,034 --> 02:04:19,953 inaweza kuwa wakala wa mali isiyohamishika. 1802 02:04:20,536 --> 02:04:22,330 Huwezi kusema hivyo, Rob! 1803 02:04:22,413 --> 02:04:26,542 Kama wakala wa mali isiyohamishika wa muda wa nusu inaweza kukosa kabisa. 1804 02:04:27,669 --> 02:04:30,380 Je, tutaweka kwenye chuchu ya Rob? 1805 02:04:30,463 --> 02:04:31,756 Ndiyo! 1806 02:04:32,674 --> 02:04:35,259 Kama... - Ninajaribu kusema ... 1807 02:04:35,343 --> 02:04:38,304 Mtu mweusi anaingilia tena. - Ninamaanisha kuwa ... 1808 02:04:38,388 --> 02:04:42,225 Risasi, piga! 1809 02:04:43,142 --> 02:04:45,103 Je, ninaweza kupata dakika bila kukatizwa? 1810 02:04:45,186 --> 02:04:48,147 Nikipata kutoka kwako sekunde tano bila usumbufu! 1811 02:05:02,912 --> 02:05:05,707 Watazamaji wapendwa, Tuzo ya Mgeni Bora wa Mwaka inakwenda kwa - 1812 02:05:05,790 --> 02:05:08,876 Rob Schneider na Karoti Juu! 1813 02:05:10,086 --> 02:05:12,005 Mungu, asante sana. 1814 02:05:15,591 --> 02:05:16,634 Asante, jamani. 1815 02:05:22,598 --> 02:05:24,559 Subiri, sote tulishinda? 1816 02:05:24,642 --> 02:05:28,229 Je! una maikrofoni yako mwenyewe? - Hiyo ni kweli. 1817 02:05:29,105 --> 02:05:32,942 Ndiyo, nyote wawili mnaweza. Bahati nzuri. - Asante, Joe. Wewe ni shujaa. 1818 02:05:33,026 --> 02:05:36,362 Wakati wa janga zima la covid, pekee ambayo niliamini wakati wote - 1819 02:05:36,446 --> 02:05:39,157 aliuliza nini: "Joe Rogan anasema nini?" Baraka. 1820 02:05:39,240 --> 02:05:41,576 Wewe ni mzuri na shujaa. 1821 02:05:41,659 --> 02:05:47,123 Ni somo kwa wachekeshaji, hiyo inaweza kuwa zaidi ya mcheshi. 1822 02:05:47,206 --> 02:05:50,251 Unaweza kubadilisha ulimwengu kama ulivyofanya. Baraka. 1823 02:05:50,334 --> 02:05:51,461 Namaanisha. 1824 02:05:51,544 --> 02:05:54,672 Inatia aibu. Nilikisia tu na nikatokea kuwa sawa. 1825 02:05:55,423 --> 02:06:00,136 Ni hayo tu. Simwamini mtu yeyote, lakini ninyi ni watu wa ajabu. 1826 02:06:00,219 --> 02:06:02,597 Hongera nyinyi wawili. - Tony. 1827 02:06:03,097 --> 02:06:06,559 Nilizungumza na hii. Tony, asante sana. 1828 02:06:08,102 --> 02:06:10,480 Inajisikia vibaya kusaga na kufungua. 1829 02:06:13,900 --> 02:06:16,402 Ni mbaya sana kuiponda ukiwa jukwaani. 1830 02:06:16,486 --> 02:06:19,781 Wewe ni watazamaji bora, unapovumilia onyesho la saa tano. 1831 02:06:19,864 --> 02:06:22,075 Tony, Roseanne na wewe. 1832 02:06:22,158 --> 02:06:24,577 Umekuwa mzuri kwangu, dude. 1833 02:06:25,078 --> 02:06:27,789 Rob? - Tony, asante kwa hili. 1834 02:06:27,872 --> 02:06:30,124 Sijawahi kuhisi upendo mkubwa zaidi - 1835 02:06:30,208 --> 02:06:32,752 kutoka kwa kikundi chochote cha vichekesho kama katika Umama - 1836 02:06:32,835 --> 02:06:37,215 na kwako, Tony. Asante sana. Nashukuru hilo. 1837 02:06:37,298 --> 02:06:39,258 Asante. Inastahili, waheshimiwa. 1838 02:06:39,342 --> 02:06:42,178 Hii iliisha kwa sare ya 22-22. 1839 02:06:42,261 --> 02:06:44,180 Je, ninaweza kukuonyesha moja zaidi? - Unaweza. 1840 02:06:44,263 --> 02:06:46,557 Mwingine. Nilisahau hili. 1841 02:06:46,641 --> 02:06:49,477 Ni jambo la sherehe kwa mtu, ambaye ana pumu. 1842 02:06:52,814 --> 02:06:56,901 Kwa njia hii unaweza kujifurahisha bila kufa. - Hii ndio onyesho la kijinga zaidi kwenye sayari. 1843 02:06:56,984 --> 02:07:00,154 Hebu tufanye fujo kubwa Joe Rogan - 1844 02:07:00,238 --> 02:07:05,535 na kwa wageni wetu wa 2025. 1845 02:07:05,618 --> 02:07:08,371 Wewe ni mzuri. - Hongera, jamani. 1846 02:07:10,540 --> 02:07:12,458 Asante kila mtu. 1847 02:07:15,086 --> 02:07:18,047 Wacha tupate kiti kimoja zaidi cha Carrot Top, 1848 02:07:18,131 --> 02:07:21,759 apate kuketi pamoja nasi, tunapofunga show. 1849 02:07:21,843 --> 02:07:25,179 Kuna njia moja tu ya kuamua kipindi kama hicho. 1850 02:07:25,263 --> 02:07:27,849 Njoo hapa, Karoti. Keti pia, Rob. 1851 02:07:27,932 --> 02:07:32,228 Unapata kiti, Karoti. 1852 02:07:32,311 --> 02:07:35,815 Kuna njia moja tu ya kumaliza kipindi kama hiki. 1853 02:07:35,898 --> 02:07:37,859 Unaweza kukaa nasi. 1854 02:07:38,526 --> 02:07:39,652 Hapa. -Kuhusu. 1855 02:07:40,361 --> 02:07:43,239 Tunamaliza jioni na mchekeshaji, ambayo inashikilia rekodi - 1856 02:07:43,322 --> 02:07:48,202 ya kiasi kikubwa zaidi maonyesho na mahojiano. 1857 02:07:48,870 --> 02:07:52,123 Tuna hadithi hai Katika Kill Tony's Hall of Fame. 1858 02:07:52,206 --> 02:07:56,878 Watazamaji wapendwa, huyu ni Austin Orange, 1859 02:07:56,961 --> 02:08:00,882 mkabaji wa memphis, wimbo wa kuchekesha wa nashville, 1860 02:08:00,965 --> 02:08:04,844 mashine kubwa nyekundu na gorilla ya vanilla - 1861 02:08:04,927 --> 02:08:08,347 yaani William Montgomery! 1862 02:08:35,249 --> 02:08:38,377 Sikutambua kwamba shule nyingi za chekechea - 1863 02:08:38,461 --> 02:08:41,756 zilitekwa nyara na maharamia wa Somalia. 1864 02:08:43,633 --> 02:08:46,802 Wanapata mwalimu mbadala ambaye anasema: 1865 02:08:46,886 --> 02:08:49,305 "Leo tunaangalia Shambulio la Mogadishu. 1866 02:08:49,388 --> 02:08:50,640 Watoto wa miaka mitatu wanasema: 1867 02:08:50,723 --> 02:08:53,559 "Tena? Tuliitazama mara sita katika wiki iliyopita." 1868 02:08:55,061 --> 02:08:57,980 Natania. Hakuna "watoto". 1869 02:08:58,064 --> 02:09:00,942 Wanaitwa "askari watoto". 1870 02:09:02,401 --> 02:09:06,906 Natumaini kwamba kila kabila itaanzisha chekechea. 1871 02:09:06,989 --> 02:09:11,619 Unapoenda kwenye kituo cha kulelea watoto cha Jamaika, wangepokea dawa za matibabu kwa wakati mmoja. 1872 02:09:14,205 --> 02:09:19,252 Katika shule ya chekechea ya Ujerumani inaweza kusemwa: "Kwa kweli hii ni kambi." 1873 02:09:19,335 --> 02:09:21,295 Je! watoto wako kambini? 1874 02:09:21,379 --> 02:09:24,465 "Sio tu. Wanaiendesha." 1875 02:09:26,008 --> 02:09:30,554 Vatican inafanya kazi K-pop na wawindaji mashetani? 1876 02:09:31,305 --> 02:09:36,602 Wanahitaji msaada! Niliishiwa na wakati. 1877 02:09:36,686 --> 02:09:40,982 Kiumbe anayependwa zaidi, William Montgomery. 1878 02:09:42,608 --> 02:09:47,154 Nilidhani umati ulikuwa pale kuhusu hali ya Somalia. 1879 02:09:48,197 --> 02:09:50,408 Hivyo. - Ni vizuri kuwa hapa tena. 1880 02:09:50,491 --> 02:09:54,412 Nimerudi kutoka Saudi Arabia. Nilipandikiza nywele, 1881 02:09:54,495 --> 02:09:57,039 lakini ni fuwele za Swarovski. 1882 02:09:57,123 --> 02:09:59,500 Lo! - Ndiyo. 1883 02:09:59,583 --> 02:10:02,295 Nilikuwa na Krismasi njema. 1884 02:10:02,795 --> 02:10:08,884 Niko hapa tena na nikatazama Mambo mapya ya Mgeni. 1885 02:10:08,968 --> 02:10:11,387 Je, inaendeleaje? 1886 02:10:11,470 --> 02:10:13,848 Nachukia, Tony! 1887 02:10:15,641 --> 02:10:17,059 Unafanya nini… 1888 02:10:18,102 --> 02:10:21,856 Tuko kwenye Netflix sasa. Labda haupaswi kupiga kelele ... 1889 02:10:22,440 --> 02:10:26,110 Hasa. Hiyo ni nzuri. - Unapenda nini juu yake? 1890 02:10:26,193 --> 02:10:28,279 Mungu, wa wahusika wote. 1891 02:10:28,362 --> 02:10:31,532 Unajua namaanisha Kumi na Moja! 1892 02:10:31,615 --> 02:10:35,411 Hata. - Anaonekana mzee sana! 1893 02:10:36,454 --> 02:10:38,331 Siwezi kuamini! 1894 02:10:41,500 --> 02:10:42,501 Vipi kuhusu hao wengine? 1895 02:10:42,585 --> 02:10:45,421 Huyo jamaa ni shoga, ambayo ni nzuri. 1896 02:10:46,672 --> 02:10:47,965 Ndiyo. 1897 02:10:48,716 --> 02:10:51,218 Lakini ndio, sijui. Ni karibu mwaka mpya. 1898 02:10:52,136 --> 02:10:53,095 Zaidi ya imani. 1899 02:10:53,179 --> 02:10:59,018 Wewe ndiye mtu pekee uliyekuja na mkanda wake wa cheti cha usalama. 1900 02:10:59,101 --> 02:11:02,438 Inaonekana kwamba mtu alikusimamisha nyuma ya jukwaa. 1901 02:11:02,521 --> 02:11:06,192 Ilifanyika, Tony. Waliniona na kujaribu kunifukuza. 1902 02:11:06,275 --> 02:11:08,819 Ilinibidi kuchimba hii kutoka kwenye mfuko wangu wa nyuma. 1903 02:11:08,903 --> 02:11:11,530 Umekuwa usiku mbaya, Tony. 1904 02:11:11,614 --> 02:11:14,241 Mtu fulani aliuliza, “Wewe ni nani? Nini kuzimu ni katika kichwa yako? 1905 02:11:14,325 --> 02:11:16,077 Nikasema, “Niko kwenye onyesho hili la kutisha. 1906 02:11:16,160 --> 02:11:20,289 Nilikuwa Saudi Arabia tu. Kwanini unauliza jamani? 1907 02:11:20,373 --> 02:11:24,043 Ndio maana nilivaa utepe. Sikutaka kurudia jambo lile lile. 1908 02:11:24,126 --> 02:11:25,211 Zaidi ya imani. 1909 02:11:25,294 --> 02:11:28,130 Hizo shiti zinaendana na kichwa chako, idiot Redban. 1910 02:11:28,214 --> 02:11:30,049 Umeweka hivyo makusudi? 1911 02:11:30,132 --> 02:11:32,551 Asante kwa kutikisa na hilo. Iliumiza. 1912 02:11:32,635 --> 02:11:35,471 Iliuma sana. - Ndio, sauti ilikuwa kubwa. 1913 02:11:35,554 --> 02:11:39,850 Ilikuwa jasiri kupiga risasi na kanuni ya confetti moja kwa moja kwetu. 1914 02:11:41,977 --> 02:11:42,895 Ukweli usemwe - 1915 02:11:42,978 --> 02:11:47,149 nilijifanya ni bunduki. Ndiyo maana niliweza kuifanya. 1916 02:11:47,817 --> 02:11:51,028 Mwanaume pekee ndiye anayefanya hivyo, ambaye anadhani anaweza kuishi - 1917 02:11:51,112 --> 02:11:54,698 chochote. Wewe ni mtu mwitu, William. 1918 02:11:54,782 --> 02:11:58,744 Je, una maoni yoyote? kwa wazimu William Montgomery? 1919 02:12:01,288 --> 02:12:03,582 Hakika wewe ni wa kipekee. 1920 02:12:03,666 --> 02:12:08,170 Una nishati yako mwenyewe na unajitolea kwa hadithi yako. 1921 02:12:08,254 --> 02:12:12,800 Sihukumu wema au ubaya, lakini natambua tofauti. 1922 02:12:12,883 --> 02:12:16,178 Wewe ni tofauti sana. Wewe kusimama nje. 1923 02:12:17,596 --> 02:12:20,516 Wewe ndiye nyota wa kipindi. 1924 02:12:20,599 --> 02:12:23,561 Sijui ulifikiria nini. -Tony, najisikia vibaya sana. 1925 02:12:23,644 --> 02:12:26,772 Dedrick alilia, jamani. 1926 02:12:26,856 --> 02:12:29,692 Tulilia jukwaani leo. Sitaki kulia hapa. 1927 02:12:29,775 --> 02:12:32,361 Ni karibu anahisi kama kwamba ni lazima, lakini sitaki. 1928 02:12:32,445 --> 02:12:33,320 Usilie. 1929 02:12:33,404 --> 02:12:36,866 nakuambia kwamba wengine huburudisha umma - 1930 02:12:36,949 --> 02:12:40,411 na wengine wanaiogopa. Ulifanya yote mawili, hongera sana. 1931 02:12:40,494 --> 02:12:42,746 Asante. - Hapana shaka. 1932 02:12:42,830 --> 02:12:46,459 Roseanne Barr? - Hakuna mtu kama wewe, William. 1933 02:12:46,542 --> 02:12:50,588 Hakuna mtu kwa usawa na isiyo ya kawaida. 1934 02:12:51,130 --> 02:12:56,635 Hakuna mtu aliye wazi zaidi na haifikishi jambo hilo mbali. 1935 02:12:56,719 --> 02:12:59,346 Unajua nakupenda. - Wacha tuchome baada ya hii. 1936 02:12:59,430 --> 02:13:03,309 Una maria bora katika ulimwengu wote wa kijinga. 1937 02:13:03,392 --> 02:13:06,562 Mara ya mwisho niliivuta na nikapanda jukwaani 1938 02:13:06,645 --> 02:13:11,358 Nilikuwa na mshtuko wa neva na nina aibu sana juu yake 1939 02:13:11,442 --> 02:13:14,361 Nilimuahidi Tony, kwamba sitavuta tena maria wako - 1940 02:13:14,445 --> 02:13:19,200 na sitaonekana tena kwenye onyesho lake, kwa sababu nilitenda kama Pauly Shore, 1941 02:13:19,700 --> 02:13:20,576 lakini… 1942 02:13:21,952 --> 02:13:28,083 Wewe ni kituko kama hakuna mwingine, 1943 02:13:28,167 --> 02:13:31,295 na ndio maana sote tunakupenda. 1944 02:13:31,921 --> 02:13:34,757 Asante. - Panda hadi urefu, kaka. 1945 02:13:35,966 --> 02:13:39,178 Hebu sikia kaka yako mkubwa Carrot Top. 1946 02:13:39,261 --> 02:13:43,432 Ikiwa mimi na Liberace tuliweka ungekuwa matokeo. Ungekuwa mtoto wetu. 1947 02:13:45,726 --> 02:13:49,146 Tuna watoto wawili, lakini wewe ni mkuu. 1948 02:13:49,855 --> 02:13:50,898 Wewe ni kweli. 1949 02:13:50,981 --> 02:13:54,693 Kama mtu mwekundu, unavamia eneo langu kidogo, 1950 02:13:54,777 --> 02:13:57,780 ila unachekesha kweli. Kichwa cha kioo kinapendeza sana. 1951 02:13:57,863 --> 02:14:01,742 Nilipenda utani kuhusu upandikizaji wa nywele. 1952 02:14:01,825 --> 02:14:02,910 Ilikuwa ya kuchekesha. 1953 02:14:03,577 --> 02:14:10,000 Wewe ndiye mcheshi pekee mwenye mipira inachukua msimamo juu ya shida ya Saudi Arabia. 1954 02:14:10,084 --> 02:14:14,296 Nashangaa kama nitazungumza juu yake leo. Niliamua kuzungumza. 1955 02:14:14,380 --> 02:14:17,174 Mimi naenda kusema kwamba vipandikizi vyangu vya nywele vinatoka hapo. 1956 02:14:17,258 --> 02:14:21,804 Furaha Saudi Arabia! -Sawa. Wazi. 1957 02:14:22,888 --> 02:14:24,932 Mimi pia. 1958 02:14:27,059 --> 02:14:31,647 Mara tu tunaposema "Fuck Saudi Arabia", tunaondoa - 1959 02:14:32,731 --> 02:14:34,358 sauti za programu. Zaidi ya imani. 1960 02:14:35,192 --> 02:14:37,778 Je, unataka kusema maneno yoyote ya mwisho? 1961 02:14:38,404 --> 02:14:43,284 Nawatakia wote mwaka mwema 2026. 1962 02:14:44,076 --> 02:14:47,496 Ikiwa unatafuta vitu vya kufurahisha vya kufanya, Ninapendekeza mafumbo. 1963 02:14:47,580 --> 02:14:49,873 Nimefanya saba kati yao wakati wa wiki mbili. 1964 02:14:49,957 --> 02:14:52,126 Maisha yangu sasa hivi ni kichaa, 1965 02:14:52,209 --> 02:14:55,087 lakini sitafanya acha kufanya mafumbo! 1966 02:14:55,170 --> 02:14:56,797 Ndiyo. - Asante, kila mtu. 1967 02:14:56,880 --> 02:15:00,175 William Montgomery! Tulifanya hivyo. 1968 02:15:00,259 --> 02:15:07,163 Hii ilikuwa maalum ya Netflix: Ua Tony: Mara moja huko Texas. 1969 02:15:07,263 --> 02:15:12,396 Hebu tuonyeshe upendeleo wetu kwa mara nyingine kwa wageni wote wakuu. 1970 02:15:12,479 --> 02:15:18,319 Roseanne Barr, Rob Schneider, Fluffy, Juu ya Karoti, 1971 02:15:18,902 --> 02:15:24,325 Joe Rogan, Joe DeRosa mkubwa, James McCann, 1972 02:15:26,118 --> 02:15:29,496 Dedrick Flynn, Fiona Cauley, Ari Matti, 1973 02:15:30,664 --> 02:15:35,586 Kam Patterson, Timmy Hakuna Breki, na William Montgomery. 1974 02:15:35,669 --> 02:15:37,755 Ulikuwa na usiku wa kufurahisha? 1975 02:15:37,838 --> 02:15:41,216 Heri ya mwaka mpya! 1976 02:15:41,300 --> 02:15:44,219 Heri ya mwaka mpya. Wacha tufanye 2026 kuwa bora zaidi. 1977 02:15:44,303 --> 02:15:48,140 Nyinyi ni wa ajabu. Asante na usiku mwema kila mtu! 1978 02:17:43,213 --> 02:17:45,215 Manukuu: Aarni Pietilä