1 00:00:02,002 --> 00:00:05,004 [debra and ray laughing] 2 00:00:07,240 --> 00:00:08,307 - Oh! - Whoa! 3 00:00:08,309 --> 00:00:10,542 [loud thud] - ow! 4 00:00:10,544 --> 00:00:14,513 - Oh...Oh... 5 00:00:14,515 --> 00:00:16,115 Ohh, sorry. 6 00:00:16,117 --> 00:00:19,418 Thought I had a little more bed up there. 7 00:00:19,420 --> 00:00:20,552 - No, hey, ray, stop! 8 00:00:20,554 --> 00:00:21,687 - What? 9 00:00:21,689 --> 00:00:23,322 - I really hurt my shoulder. 10 00:00:23,324 --> 00:00:25,257 - Oh, well, can't you just shake it off? 11 00:00:25,259 --> 00:00:26,792 - Well, no. 12 00:00:26,794 --> 00:00:28,327 No, it really hurts. 13 00:00:28,329 --> 00:00:30,295 I think I better put some ice on it. 14 00:00:30,297 --> 00:00:31,530 - Well, you know, my wrist hurts, 15 00:00:31,532 --> 00:00:33,098 But you know what they say. 16 00:00:33,100 --> 00:00:36,101 You should get right back up on the horse. 17 00:00:36,103 --> 00:00:38,570 - I'm getting ice. 18 00:00:40,640 --> 00:00:43,042 - But the horse! 19 00:00:46,179 --> 00:00:48,414 Ow... 20 00:00:48,416 --> 00:00:51,383 My first sex injury. 21 00:00:53,319 --> 00:00:58,590 Male announcer: Another season of "everybody loves raymond." 22 00:00:58,592 --> 00:00:59,758 [grunting] 23 00:00:59,760 --> 00:01:05,097 [slow motion yelling, grunting] 24 00:01:05,099 --> 00:01:10,369 [determined music] 25 00:01:10,371 --> 00:01:12,571 - [laughs] 26 00:01:12,573 --> 00:01:15,574 [grunting] 27 00:01:28,154 --> 00:01:31,156 [crowd cheering] 28 00:01:40,467 --> 00:01:43,469 - Oh! Aah! God. 29 00:01:49,509 --> 00:01:52,511 Ah, ooh! Man. 30 00:01:56,182 --> 00:01:59,351 Hey, gianni, pass me that soda. 31 00:01:59,353 --> 00:02:02,354 Oh! Aah! Jeez. 32 00:02:02,356 --> 00:02:04,189 Aah, god. 33 00:02:04,191 --> 00:02:05,557 Man, I hurt my wrist. 34 00:02:05,559 --> 00:02:07,693 I really hurt that wrist, didn't I? 35 00:02:07,695 --> 00:02:10,395 - What, did you sprain it opening a jar of marmalade? 36 00:02:10,397 --> 00:02:11,897 - [chuckles] 37 00:02:11,899 --> 00:02:14,766 - How 'bout just the opposite? 38 00:02:19,305 --> 00:02:24,276 Debra and I had some wild sex last night. 39 00:02:25,345 --> 00:02:27,312 - Whoa! - All right. 40 00:02:27,314 --> 00:02:30,883 - Oh, whoop-de-doo for you. 41 00:02:30,885 --> 00:02:32,451 - So what happened? 42 00:02:32,453 --> 00:02:34,286 - Well, no, no, no. 43 00:02:34,288 --> 00:02:36,155 I don't need to talk about it, all right? 44 00:02:36,157 --> 00:02:37,656 - Oh, would you stop? 45 00:02:37,658 --> 00:02:39,892 You brought it up. You got a phony bandage on. 46 00:02:39,894 --> 00:02:44,296 You can't wait to tell everybody everything. 47 00:02:44,298 --> 00:02:46,198 - Tell me anything. 48 00:02:46,200 --> 00:02:47,266 - No! No, no. 49 00:02:47,268 --> 00:02:48,700 - Oh, this isn't fair! 50 00:02:48,702 --> 00:02:50,903 I haven't had sex since my kid was born. 51 00:02:50,905 --> 00:02:54,206 - Your kid's a year and a half. 52 00:02:54,208 --> 00:02:56,909 - Tell me your story. 53 00:02:56,911 --> 00:03:01,513 - All right. All right. 54 00:03:01,515 --> 00:03:03,348 You know, things were happening, 55 00:03:03,350 --> 00:03:05,217 And it got a little crazy, 56 00:03:05,219 --> 00:03:08,954 And next thing I know, we're airborne. 57 00:03:08,956 --> 00:03:11,657 - Whoo. 58 00:03:11,659 --> 00:03:16,461 - Long story short, this was no marmalade accident. 59 00:03:16,463 --> 00:03:17,696 - That will never happen to me. 60 00:03:17,698 --> 00:03:21,667 - No kidding. 61 00:03:21,669 --> 00:03:23,902 - Hey, she's hurt worse than me. 62 00:03:23,904 --> 00:03:27,739 - So you're proud of the fact that you're such a klutz, 63 00:03:27,741 --> 00:03:31,944 You fell out of bed onto your poor petite wife. 64 00:03:31,946 --> 00:03:34,813 - I can honestly say this was not my fault. 65 00:03:34,815 --> 00:03:39,685 The lady got a little bit out of control. 66 00:03:39,687 --> 00:03:40,719 - Really? 67 00:03:40,721 --> 00:03:41,920 You know, I got to tell you, 68 00:03:41,922 --> 00:03:44,289 I always thought that about debra. 69 00:03:44,291 --> 00:03:45,791 - What? 70 00:03:45,793 --> 00:03:47,359 What do you mean? 71 00:03:47,361 --> 00:03:48,927 What--what are you thinking about debra? 72 00:03:48,929 --> 00:03:51,263 - Yeah, I can see that. 73 00:03:51,265 --> 00:03:53,932 She seems to be very, uh... 74 00:03:53,934 --> 00:03:56,868 "animale." 75 00:03:58,571 --> 00:04:01,240 - All right, all right, a little respect. 76 00:04:01,242 --> 00:04:02,908 Is this how you talk about your wife? 77 00:04:02,910 --> 00:04:05,744 I guess they're just handing out wives to anybody, huh? 78 00:04:05,746 --> 00:04:08,380 [muttering angrily] 79 00:04:10,350 --> 00:04:12,918 - Hey, so you really thought that about debra? 80 00:04:12,920 --> 00:04:14,386 - Yeah, she's like one of those 81 00:04:14,388 --> 00:04:16,521 "uptight and bossy on the surface 82 00:04:16,523 --> 00:04:19,391 But wild underneath" girls. 83 00:04:19,393 --> 00:04:20,525 - Well, I'm uptight. 84 00:04:20,527 --> 00:04:24,429 You think I'm wild underneath? 85 00:04:24,431 --> 00:04:27,432 - I'd hate to be underneath. 86 00:04:32,705 --> 00:04:34,773 - Hey, you know, you guys should know about debra, 87 00:04:34,775 --> 00:04:37,743 She wasn't always--she wasn't always like this, you know? 88 00:04:37,745 --> 00:04:41,847 But I guess over the years, I've kind of created a monster. 89 00:04:41,849 --> 00:04:43,448 [laughing] 90 00:04:43,450 --> 00:04:44,616 - Turn up the tv. 91 00:04:44,618 --> 00:04:45,984 I'm coming back, 92 00:04:45,986 --> 00:04:48,720 And I'll be eating something crunchy. 93 00:04:49,889 --> 00:04:51,556 - All right, all right. 94 00:04:51,558 --> 00:04:54,293 Just shut up now about the boom-ba-dee-boom-boom. 95 00:04:54,295 --> 00:04:55,794 - Come on, your old man would be proud of you. 96 00:04:55,796 --> 00:04:57,029 You were taking care of business. 97 00:04:57,031 --> 00:04:58,797 - Every way. 98 00:04:58,799 --> 00:05:00,866 - Now, just look, we don't talk about that, all right? 99 00:05:00,868 --> 00:05:03,535 What's wrong with you guys? Have a little class, man. 100 00:05:03,537 --> 00:05:05,504 - Dad, those nachos were for me. 101 00:05:05,506 --> 00:05:06,538 - I like cheese. 102 00:05:06,540 --> 00:05:10,075 You knew the risks. 103 00:05:10,077 --> 00:05:12,444 - Hey, frank, ray hurt himself. 104 00:05:12,446 --> 00:05:13,512 Ask him how. 105 00:05:13,514 --> 00:05:15,681 - Bernie. 106 00:05:15,683 --> 00:05:16,815 - Why? 107 00:05:16,817 --> 00:05:18,583 - Yeah, never mind. 108 00:05:18,585 --> 00:05:20,619 - No, no, no, it's a good story. Ask him. 109 00:05:20,621 --> 00:05:23,455 - All right. Go ahead. 110 00:05:26,626 --> 00:05:28,560 - What? It's nothin'. 111 00:05:28,562 --> 00:05:31,029 I hurt my wrist, that's all. 112 00:05:32,532 --> 00:05:34,533 I fell down the stairs. 113 00:05:34,535 --> 00:05:37,436 They're old, and they're creaky, those stairs. 114 00:05:37,438 --> 00:05:41,606 - What a marvelous story. 115 00:05:41,608 --> 00:05:43,942 And you tell it beautifully. 116 00:05:43,944 --> 00:05:46,611 - I told you it was nothing. 117 00:05:46,613 --> 00:05:48,046 - How many years have I got left? 118 00:05:48,048 --> 00:05:51,350 You got to waste my time with that story? 119 00:05:51,352 --> 00:05:53,518 - What? I didn't want to tell it to you. 120 00:05:53,520 --> 00:05:54,920 - Then you should cut your losses now 121 00:05:54,922 --> 00:05:56,688 And stop talking. 122 00:05:56,690 --> 00:05:59,358 A stair story. 123 00:06:00,760 --> 00:06:02,594 - Debra fell, too. 124 00:06:02,596 --> 00:06:04,763 - Hey, would you shut up? 125 00:06:04,765 --> 00:06:07,065 All right? Just shut up! 126 00:06:07,067 --> 00:06:08,633 What are you bothering my father for? 127 00:06:08,635 --> 00:06:09,968 He's watching the game, 128 00:06:09,970 --> 00:06:12,804 And he told me he doesn't like you. 129 00:06:12,806 --> 00:06:14,740 - Two people falling. 130 00:06:14,742 --> 00:06:17,109 Now maybe you got a story. 131 00:06:17,111 --> 00:06:18,877 How'd that happen? 132 00:06:18,879 --> 00:06:22,948 - Yes, how? Pray tell. 133 00:06:22,950 --> 00:06:26,852 - Same thing. Those crazy-ass stairs there. 134 00:06:26,854 --> 00:06:29,921 So if you see debra later and she has a sore shoulder, 135 00:06:29,923 --> 00:06:31,556 Then that's why. 136 00:06:31,558 --> 00:06:34,126 - I don't understand how two grown people 137 00:06:34,128 --> 00:06:36,928 Fall down the stairs. 138 00:06:36,930 --> 00:06:38,797 - Because it wasn't our fault. 139 00:06:38,799 --> 00:06:44,436 Those stupid stairs-- they're dangerous, I tell you. 140 00:06:46,539 --> 00:06:49,574 - So did you really fall down the stairs? 141 00:06:49,576 --> 00:06:50,609 Which story's true? 142 00:06:50,611 --> 00:06:51,877 - Would you shut up? 143 00:06:51,879 --> 00:06:53,545 - No, no, really, I'm confused, 144 00:06:53,547 --> 00:06:56,047 Because they're both quite convincing. 145 00:06:58,584 --> 00:06:59,651 [kids yelling] 146 00:06:59,653 --> 00:07:02,821 - All right, all right. 147 00:07:02,823 --> 00:07:04,523 Whoo. 148 00:07:04,525 --> 00:07:05,991 - All right. 149 00:07:05,993 --> 00:07:09,728 I am laying down now and scratching a few things. 150 00:07:12,799 --> 00:07:14,733 - Frank, what are you doing? 151 00:07:14,735 --> 00:07:16,668 - I came over to check out your stairs. 152 00:07:16,670 --> 00:07:18,503 No wonder the two of you fell. 153 00:07:18,505 --> 00:07:19,871 These look warped. 154 00:07:19,873 --> 00:07:21,506 - What are you talking-- 155 00:07:21,508 --> 00:07:23,809 - You know what? Let's just leave him alone. 156 00:07:23,811 --> 00:07:25,177 This is who he is. 157 00:07:25,179 --> 00:07:27,179 This is how he defines himself as a person. 158 00:07:27,181 --> 00:07:28,914 - But why is your father fixing our stairs? 159 00:07:28,916 --> 00:07:30,749 - Who cares? The fudge pops are melting. 160 00:07:30,751 --> 00:07:31,850 Let's go. Come on. 161 00:07:31,852 --> 00:07:33,685 - Wait a minute. 162 00:07:33,687 --> 00:07:37,589 Why does your father think that we fell down the stairs? 163 00:07:37,591 --> 00:07:39,057 - Because that's what I told him. 164 00:07:39,059 --> 00:07:40,859 You don't want him knowing the truth, do you? 165 00:07:40,861 --> 00:07:43,628 He came in the other night, I was talking to the guys and-- 166 00:07:43,630 --> 00:07:47,866 - Wait a minute. Wait a minute! 167 00:07:47,868 --> 00:07:50,235 Did you tell the guys? 168 00:07:50,237 --> 00:07:52,771 - Uh... 169 00:07:54,607 --> 00:07:58,743 They guessed. 170 00:07:58,745 --> 00:08:00,812 - You told your friends 171 00:08:00,814 --> 00:08:02,547 About how we fell out of the bed? 172 00:08:02,549 --> 00:08:04,816 - No, they just got it. 173 00:08:04,818 --> 00:08:07,152 My wrist, your shoulder... 174 00:08:07,154 --> 00:08:09,921 It is kind of obvious. 175 00:08:09,923 --> 00:08:12,657 - Oh, my god, ray, this is so embarrassing. 176 00:08:12,659 --> 00:08:14,693 How could you? 177 00:08:14,695 --> 00:08:16,761 - It's guy talk. 178 00:08:16,763 --> 00:08:19,164 Come on, that's what we do. Hey, don't be embarrassed. 179 00:08:19,166 --> 00:08:21,800 We're "muy caliente"! 180 00:08:21,802 --> 00:08:24,903 - Yeah. 181 00:08:24,905 --> 00:08:26,838 And everyone knows it. 182 00:08:26,840 --> 00:08:28,640 - All right! 183 00:08:28,642 --> 00:08:30,242 - I don't want everyone to know it, ray! 184 00:08:30,244 --> 00:08:32,177 - Come on, look, the guys already think 185 00:08:32,179 --> 00:08:34,212 You're wild and stuff anyway, so it doesn't matter. 186 00:08:34,214 --> 00:08:37,849 - Well, I don't think... 187 00:08:37,851 --> 00:08:39,651 Wild? 188 00:08:39,653 --> 00:08:42,254 Really? 189 00:08:42,256 --> 00:08:45,290 - "animale." 190 00:08:48,561 --> 00:08:50,629 - Really? They think I'm wild? 191 00:08:50,631 --> 00:08:52,764 - Yeah, see, see! You like it. Everything is fine. 192 00:08:52,766 --> 00:08:54,599 - No, no, it is not fine. 193 00:08:54,601 --> 00:08:57,168 No, because you're not supposed to be talking about that. 194 00:08:57,170 --> 00:08:58,970 And then you have to make up this whole thing 195 00:08:58,972 --> 00:09:00,605 About the stairs, 196 00:09:00,607 --> 00:09:02,040 And now your father's ripping 'em out! 197 00:09:02,042 --> 00:09:04,075 How are we gonna get up the stairs? 198 00:09:04,077 --> 00:09:08,280 - Look at your eyes right now. You are a little wild. 199 00:09:08,282 --> 00:09:09,614 Rawrrr. 200 00:09:09,616 --> 00:09:11,950 - Oh, get away from me. 201 00:09:11,952 --> 00:09:14,185 - Hello, dears. - Hi, marie. 202 00:09:14,187 --> 00:09:16,688 - Frank wanted some ice water. 203 00:09:16,690 --> 00:09:18,056 - Believe it or not, marie, 204 00:09:18,058 --> 00:09:20,559 We have the ingredients for that right here. 205 00:09:20,561 --> 00:09:22,928 - Oh, I know, 206 00:09:22,930 --> 00:09:26,665 But frank likes his ice cubes a little less murky. 207 00:09:26,667 --> 00:09:28,099 - All right. 208 00:09:28,101 --> 00:09:31,836 - Oh, I heard about you falling down the stairs! 209 00:09:31,838 --> 00:09:34,940 Sounds terrible. Are you all right? 210 00:09:34,942 --> 00:09:36,174 - Yeah, we're fine, marie. 211 00:09:36,176 --> 00:09:39,044 - My wrist is a little sore. - Ray. 212 00:09:39,046 --> 00:09:41,179 - You poor thing. - Yeah, yeah. 213 00:09:41,181 --> 00:09:45,917 - But what I don't understand is, how did you both fall? 214 00:09:45,919 --> 00:09:49,220 Were you going down the stairs at the same time? 215 00:09:49,222 --> 00:09:50,956 - Yes, we were. 216 00:09:50,958 --> 00:09:55,293 That is, indeed, what we did do. 217 00:09:55,295 --> 00:09:57,095 - But why? 218 00:09:57,097 --> 00:09:58,763 - I don't know. 219 00:09:58,765 --> 00:10:03,768 It was kind of like a jack-and-jill situation. 220 00:10:03,770 --> 00:10:06,271 I went, and then she, you know... 221 00:10:06,273 --> 00:10:11,009 Came tumbling after. 222 00:10:11,011 --> 00:10:12,911 - I don't understand. 223 00:10:12,913 --> 00:10:14,145 - Well, there's no shame in that. 224 00:10:14,147 --> 00:10:16,081 We all get old. 225 00:10:24,190 --> 00:10:25,890 - We were having a race. 226 00:10:25,892 --> 00:10:27,258 - Huh? 227 00:10:27,260 --> 00:10:30,095 - A race? In the house? 228 00:10:30,097 --> 00:10:34,065 - Yeah, mm-hmm. 229 00:10:34,067 --> 00:10:36,635 - Something doesn't make sense. 230 00:10:36,637 --> 00:10:38,103 - Well, it doesn't have to. 231 00:10:38,105 --> 00:10:41,940 It's a tradition. 232 00:10:41,942 --> 00:10:43,908 - A tradition. 233 00:10:43,910 --> 00:10:46,077 Well, I never heard anything about these races. 234 00:10:46,079 --> 00:10:48,113 - Well, it's--just it's kind of our thing, you know? 235 00:10:48,115 --> 00:10:49,781 I mean, we do it all the time. 236 00:10:49,783 --> 00:10:52,784 Sometimes we do front door to back door, you know? 237 00:10:52,786 --> 00:10:55,020 Yeah, sometimes we do three times around the couch. 238 00:10:55,022 --> 00:10:56,388 Friday we usually do the stairs. 239 00:10:56,390 --> 00:10:58,123 - Okay, ray. 240 00:10:58,125 --> 00:11:01,159 - "Friday on the stairs"-- that's what we call it. 241 00:11:04,330 --> 00:11:05,730 [pounding, hammering] 242 00:11:05,732 --> 00:11:07,365 - Frank must be awfully thirsty by now. 243 00:11:07,367 --> 00:11:08,800 - Yeah, oh, you know what? 244 00:11:08,802 --> 00:11:10,001 He likes it when I give him that. 245 00:11:10,003 --> 00:11:11,403 - About the races-- 246 00:11:11,405 --> 00:11:13,104 You don't make the children race, do you? 247 00:11:13,106 --> 00:11:14,139 - Oh, no, no. 248 00:11:14,141 --> 00:11:15,707 - No, no. Adults only. 249 00:11:15,709 --> 00:11:18,843 Yeah, you got to be at least this tall. 250 00:11:18,845 --> 00:11:20,912 - So that's how you both fell? 251 00:11:20,914 --> 00:11:22,814 A race around the house, 252 00:11:22,816 --> 00:11:27,018 Which you often do as a tradition? 253 00:11:27,020 --> 00:11:28,953 - Uh, yeah. 254 00:11:28,955 --> 00:11:30,989 - Stupid, humped-up termite trap! 255 00:11:30,991 --> 00:11:33,992 [clattering] 256 00:11:44,236 --> 00:11:45,437 - Oh, my god! 257 00:11:45,439 --> 00:11:47,739 Frank, are you all right? 258 00:11:47,741 --> 00:11:51,009 - Holy crap! 259 00:11:51,011 --> 00:11:52,077 - Don't move. 260 00:11:52,079 --> 00:11:53,878 I'm coming right down! 261 00:11:53,880 --> 00:11:56,381 - I'm in enough pain! 262 00:12:04,123 --> 00:12:05,790 - There you go. 263 00:12:05,792 --> 00:12:07,392 - I must say, you're doing surprisingly well 264 00:12:07,394 --> 00:12:08,960 After taking such a fall, mr. Barone. 265 00:12:08,962 --> 00:12:10,795 No injuries other than a broken rib. 266 00:12:10,797 --> 00:12:12,464 - Oh, thank god! 267 00:12:12,466 --> 00:12:14,466 - You heard what he said. I'm fine. 268 00:12:14,468 --> 00:12:17,102 No kissing. 269 00:12:17,104 --> 00:12:19,170 - I told him not to fix the stairs. 270 00:12:19,172 --> 00:12:21,206 I knew something like this would happen. 271 00:12:21,208 --> 00:12:23,475 I can't bear to see him hurt. 272 00:12:23,477 --> 00:12:27,245 Why are you such a stubborn idiot? 273 00:12:27,247 --> 00:12:31,316 - Doctor, can I have this removed? 274 00:12:31,318 --> 00:12:33,051 - Doctor, before you go, 275 00:12:33,053 --> 00:12:37,155 Is there such a thing as a personality transplant? 276 00:12:38,491 --> 00:12:42,360 - Okay, crazies, we're in public here. 277 00:12:42,362 --> 00:12:44,796 - Hey, doc, what's this stuff drippin' into me? 278 00:12:44,798 --> 00:12:46,064 - Oh, that's just some painkiller 279 00:12:46,066 --> 00:12:47,432 To help with any discomfort. 280 00:12:47,434 --> 00:12:50,502 - But I'm not experiencing any discomfort. 281 00:12:50,504 --> 00:12:52,837 - That's because it's probably starting to work. 282 00:12:52,839 --> 00:12:56,074 - Oh. 283 00:12:56,076 --> 00:13:00,979 Way to go, tube and baggie. 284 00:13:00,981 --> 00:13:02,347 - Yes. 285 00:13:02,349 --> 00:13:04,048 Now, a nurse will be in at the end of the day 286 00:13:04,050 --> 00:13:05,884 To give you your discharge papers. 287 00:13:05,886 --> 00:13:08,987 - Papers? Don't you guys have bedpans anymore? 288 00:13:08,989 --> 00:13:11,156 [laughs] 289 00:13:14,059 --> 00:13:16,094 - You see what you did to him, huh? 290 00:13:16,096 --> 00:13:17,328 All of this because you and debra 291 00:13:17,330 --> 00:13:18,797 "fell down the stairs." 292 00:13:18,799 --> 00:13:20,231 - All right, robert. - Don't, robert. 293 00:13:20,233 --> 00:13:21,900 - Doctor, while you're still here, 294 00:13:21,902 --> 00:13:24,402 Would you just take a look at my son's wrist? 295 00:13:24,404 --> 00:13:27,238 - Yeah, and, ray, when was the last time 296 00:13:27,240 --> 00:13:29,440 Someone looked at that testicle? 297 00:13:29,442 --> 00:13:31,843 - Dad! 298 00:13:31,845 --> 00:13:33,244 - What? 299 00:13:33,246 --> 00:13:36,447 No one's checked it since he was a kid. 300 00:13:36,449 --> 00:13:38,049 - It's all right, dad. 301 00:13:38,051 --> 00:13:42,921 - Hey, hey, hey, nothin' to be ashamed of. 302 00:13:42,923 --> 00:13:46,357 - Okay, dad. 303 00:13:46,359 --> 00:13:49,894 - And, debra, you should show the doctor your shoulder. 304 00:13:49,896 --> 00:13:51,896 - No, I'm fine, frank, really. 305 00:13:51,898 --> 00:13:53,898 Thank you, though. 306 00:13:53,900 --> 00:13:56,000 - They took a tumble down the stairs. 307 00:13:56,002 --> 00:13:57,202 - Both of you? 308 00:13:57,204 --> 00:13:59,170 - Unusual, isn't it? 309 00:13:59,172 --> 00:14:03,508 - We have these little races. 310 00:14:03,510 --> 00:14:05,210 - Yeah, you know, ray, 311 00:14:05,212 --> 00:14:07,278 Maybe you should let the doctor check out your wrist. 312 00:14:07,280 --> 00:14:09,013 I'm sure you and debra want to get back 313 00:14:09,015 --> 00:14:11,983 To your active lifestyle as soon as possible, hmm? 314 00:14:11,985 --> 00:14:13,918 - It's okay. It's fine. See? It's all better. 315 00:14:13,920 --> 00:14:15,486 - Really? Let's arm wrestle. 316 00:14:15,488 --> 00:14:16,588 - Get away. - Give it to me! 317 00:14:16,590 --> 00:14:18,456 - Get out of here. 318 00:14:18,458 --> 00:14:20,258 - But, doctor, really, 319 00:14:20,260 --> 00:14:22,227 You should take a look in his shorts. 320 00:14:22,229 --> 00:14:25,363 - No! 321 00:14:25,365 --> 00:14:28,600 - There's a problem with one of the man berries. 322 00:14:28,602 --> 00:14:31,636 - Dad! 323 00:14:31,638 --> 00:14:35,206 Yeah, it's--never mind. 324 00:14:35,208 --> 00:14:37,075 - Okay, then, if you don't need me, mr. Barone, 325 00:14:37,077 --> 00:14:39,043 You try and take it easy. 326 00:14:39,045 --> 00:14:42,614 - Okay, and, hey, you take it easy, too. 327 00:14:42,616 --> 00:14:44,148 Hey! 328 00:14:44,150 --> 00:14:46,885 Peace. 329 00:14:49,421 --> 00:14:52,223 - I'm so sorry this happened, frank. 330 00:14:52,225 --> 00:14:56,194 - Hey, I was happy to fix your stairs, debra, 331 00:14:56,196 --> 00:14:58,997 Because you needed it done. 332 00:14:58,999 --> 00:15:01,633 And if I had to break 100 ribs, 333 00:15:01,635 --> 00:15:07,038 It's a small price to pay for the family stairs. 334 00:15:07,040 --> 00:15:08,907 Yes. 335 00:15:11,277 --> 00:15:15,480 I take care of my family. 336 00:15:15,482 --> 00:15:17,115 "family." 337 00:15:17,117 --> 00:15:20,551 That's a funny word. 338 00:15:20,553 --> 00:15:22,954 Family. 339 00:15:22,956 --> 00:15:26,357 Family, family, family. 340 00:15:26,359 --> 00:15:28,192 - I got to go pick up the kids. 341 00:15:28,194 --> 00:15:29,994 You want to walk me out? 342 00:15:29,996 --> 00:15:31,429 - Yeah, I'll go with you. - Okay. 343 00:15:31,431 --> 00:15:35,934 - Hey, if you guys are racing, I get winners. 344 00:15:35,936 --> 00:15:38,303 - We can never have sex again. 345 00:15:38,305 --> 00:15:39,704 - What? 346 00:15:39,706 --> 00:15:42,206 - Look at your father, lying in there hurt, 347 00:15:42,208 --> 00:15:44,275 And all because we-- 348 00:15:44,277 --> 00:15:46,010 And now whenever-- 349 00:15:46,012 --> 00:15:49,180 I'm gonna think of him, workin' on those stairs, 350 00:15:49,182 --> 00:15:51,015 And then all of a sudden, his little bald head 351 00:15:51,017 --> 00:15:55,086 Dropping out of sight. 352 00:15:55,088 --> 00:15:57,555 - Well, here's something you might try: 353 00:15:57,557 --> 00:16:00,358 Thinking of me when we're having sex. 354 00:16:00,360 --> 00:16:01,993 - This is awful, ray. 355 00:16:01,995 --> 00:16:03,995 We lied to him, and now he has a broken rib. 356 00:16:03,997 --> 00:16:05,530 We broke his rib. 357 00:16:05,532 --> 00:16:08,566 We may as well have rolled off that bed and onto him. 358 00:16:08,568 --> 00:16:11,336 - Hey, are you trying to put images in my head? 359 00:16:11,338 --> 00:16:13,438 'cause we may never have sex again! 360 00:16:13,440 --> 00:16:14,706 Hello. Hi. 361 00:16:14,708 --> 00:16:17,308 Yeah, look, this is not our fault. 362 00:16:17,310 --> 00:16:19,010 - Yes, it is! 363 00:16:19,012 --> 00:16:21,612 This is 30% my fault and 70% yours. 364 00:16:21,614 --> 00:16:24,182 - Where do you come up with those figures? 365 00:16:24,184 --> 00:16:25,383 - You started the whole thing. 366 00:16:25,385 --> 00:16:26,751 None of this would have happened 367 00:16:26,753 --> 00:16:28,486 If you didn't have to tell all your friends 368 00:16:28,488 --> 00:16:30,088 What a big stud you are! 369 00:16:30,090 --> 00:16:32,323 - Oh, why couldn't the nurse hear that? 370 00:16:32,325 --> 00:16:35,193 Look, the truth is, none of this would've happened 371 00:16:35,195 --> 00:16:38,296 If you didn't have that second glass of wine that night. 372 00:16:38,298 --> 00:16:40,498 Or if you let me buy a king-size bed. 373 00:16:40,500 --> 00:16:43,167 Or if just once, god forbid, 374 00:16:43,169 --> 00:16:46,604 You listen to me, and we could start on the floor! 375 00:16:49,508 --> 00:16:51,409 - We have to do something for him. 376 00:16:51,411 --> 00:16:52,610 - All right, fine. 377 00:16:52,612 --> 00:16:54,078 - How do we make this up to him? 378 00:16:54,080 --> 00:16:55,480 We have to get him a satellite dish. 379 00:16:55,482 --> 00:16:58,082 - What? No! Look, I'll go to the cafeteria. 380 00:16:58,084 --> 00:17:01,152 I'll get him a nice jell-o parfait. 381 00:17:01,154 --> 00:17:03,021 - We have to make this right. 382 00:17:03,023 --> 00:17:05,223 I cannot go to bed every night with those images in my head. 383 00:17:05,225 --> 00:17:06,324 - All right. 384 00:17:06,326 --> 00:17:08,092 All right, I'll take care of it. 385 00:17:08,094 --> 00:17:10,561 Last thing you need is another excuse. 386 00:17:13,365 --> 00:17:14,732 - Oh, raymond, I'm so glad you're back. 387 00:17:14,734 --> 00:17:16,267 I want to take robbie and introduce him 388 00:17:16,269 --> 00:17:17,268 To a nurse I just met. 389 00:17:17,270 --> 00:17:18,803 Come on, robbie. 390 00:17:18,805 --> 00:17:21,305 - I don't think I should meet anybody new right now. 391 00:17:21,307 --> 00:17:22,774 I didn't wash my hair today. 392 00:17:22,776 --> 00:17:24,809 - Well, she works in the hospital. 393 00:17:24,811 --> 00:17:28,713 I'm sure she's used to seeing all kinds of things. 394 00:17:28,715 --> 00:17:32,517 - Come back soon, smushy face. 395 00:17:32,519 --> 00:17:35,586 - So how's it going, okay? 396 00:17:35,588 --> 00:17:37,555 - Sure, I'm fine. 397 00:17:37,557 --> 00:17:39,424 - Good. Yeah, you look good. 398 00:17:39,426 --> 00:17:40,458 Listen-- 399 00:17:40,460 --> 00:17:41,793 - I was thinkin', 400 00:17:41,795 --> 00:17:44,829 It should be pretty easy to finish those stairs. 401 00:17:44,831 --> 00:17:48,332 The hard part's already done... 402 00:17:48,334 --> 00:17:51,302 Where I fall through them. 403 00:17:51,304 --> 00:17:53,738 - Yeah, well, you know, it's all right. 404 00:17:53,740 --> 00:17:55,540 I can hire somebody to do it now. 405 00:17:55,542 --> 00:17:56,674 - No, no, no. 406 00:17:56,676 --> 00:17:58,209 No way. 407 00:17:58,211 --> 00:18:00,244 I want to fix your stairs. 408 00:18:00,246 --> 00:18:04,682 Me, not some guy. 409 00:18:04,684 --> 00:18:06,350 - That's nice. 410 00:18:06,352 --> 00:18:09,353 But listen, I feel bad you got hurt, so I want-- 411 00:18:09,355 --> 00:18:11,289 - Hey, don't feel bad. 412 00:18:11,291 --> 00:18:14,225 This is what it's all about. 413 00:18:14,227 --> 00:18:15,259 - What do you mean? 414 00:18:15,261 --> 00:18:17,695 - I'm not an idiot. 415 00:18:17,697 --> 00:18:20,465 Remember when you were a kid, you gave me that mug that said 416 00:18:20,467 --> 00:18:23,167 "world's greatest dad"? 417 00:18:23,169 --> 00:18:25,336 I hated that. 418 00:18:29,741 --> 00:18:34,812 Because I knew I was not that mug. 419 00:18:34,814 --> 00:18:38,282 And now you got kids of your own. 420 00:18:38,284 --> 00:18:41,452 The way you are with them... 421 00:18:49,528 --> 00:18:51,896 - What? What, dad? 422 00:18:51,898 --> 00:18:57,902 - I liked it when you moved in across the street, 423 00:18:57,904 --> 00:18:59,637 'cause I could come to your house, 424 00:18:59,639 --> 00:19:02,140 You could come to my house. 425 00:19:02,142 --> 00:19:04,709 Nothin' much, just... 426 00:19:04,711 --> 00:19:08,713 Doin' stuff, watchin' the game, 427 00:19:08,715 --> 00:19:11,883 Playin' some pool. 428 00:19:11,885 --> 00:19:17,655 By the way, one of us should get a pool table. 429 00:19:17,657 --> 00:19:20,258 It's good what we got, 430 00:19:20,260 --> 00:19:23,628 'cause we're pals now. 431 00:19:26,565 --> 00:19:31,202 - Debra and I didn't fall down the stairs. 432 00:19:31,204 --> 00:19:32,637 - What? 433 00:19:32,639 --> 00:19:37,842 - We actually hurt ourselves in the, you know, 434 00:19:37,844 --> 00:19:39,477 Bedroom. 435 00:19:39,479 --> 00:19:42,513 - A bedroom race? 436 00:19:42,515 --> 00:19:45,249 - No. 437 00:19:45,251 --> 00:19:47,919 No, no, there are no races, dad. 438 00:19:47,921 --> 00:19:51,589 - But they're a tradition. 439 00:19:51,591 --> 00:19:55,193 - We--we fell off the bed... 440 00:19:55,195 --> 00:19:56,727 Both of us. 441 00:19:56,729 --> 00:19:59,497 Hmm? 442 00:19:59,499 --> 00:20:02,867 Dad, we fell off the bed when we were having sex. 443 00:20:02,869 --> 00:20:04,702 That's how we got hurt. 444 00:20:04,704 --> 00:20:09,507 - Then this is about your testicle. 445 00:20:09,509 --> 00:20:11,709 - Wha--no. 446 00:20:11,711 --> 00:20:13,844 Dad, no, it's not. 447 00:20:13,846 --> 00:20:15,947 I-I lied to you. I lied to you. 448 00:20:15,949 --> 00:20:17,848 I told you the stairs were bad 449 00:20:17,850 --> 00:20:20,318 So you wouldn't know what debra and I were doing, 450 00:20:20,320 --> 00:20:22,620 And you wouldn't have broke your rib if it wasn't for me, 451 00:20:22,622 --> 00:20:25,823 And I'm buying you a satellite dish, all right? 452 00:20:25,825 --> 00:20:31,462 - Oh, now, that's a good story. 453 00:20:31,464 --> 00:20:35,566 Why didn't you just tell me that story? 454 00:20:35,568 --> 00:20:37,902 - Because it's like a sex story, 455 00:20:37,904 --> 00:20:40,771 And I don't feel comfortable, you know, 456 00:20:40,773 --> 00:20:43,474 Telling you that kind of stuff. 457 00:20:43,476 --> 00:20:46,277 - But we're pals. 458 00:20:46,279 --> 00:20:51,782 - Okay, we're pals. 459 00:20:53,852 --> 00:20:57,021 - Hey, you want to know somethin', pal? 460 00:20:57,023 --> 00:20:59,357 Could I tell you a story? 461 00:20:59,359 --> 00:21:01,325 - Yeah, yeah, sure. 462 00:21:01,327 --> 00:21:04,562 - One night your mother had a little too much kahlua-- 463 00:21:04,564 --> 00:21:05,730 - No, no, no, dad! 464 00:21:05,732 --> 00:21:06,764 No. 465 00:21:06,766 --> 00:21:08,532 - But it's story time. 466 00:21:08,534 --> 00:21:10,001 - No, look, you need your rest. 467 00:21:10,003 --> 00:21:11,402 - Wait, you'll love this. 468 00:21:11,404 --> 00:21:13,271 - No, no, no, sweet dreams, pal. 469 00:21:13,273 --> 00:21:15,706 - It was cold outside... 470 00:21:19,578 --> 00:21:22,480 - All right, here you go. 471 00:21:22,482 --> 00:21:24,915 - So how's that rib doin', frank? 472 00:21:24,917 --> 00:21:26,584 - Oh, it's coming along, 473 00:21:26,586 --> 00:21:30,788 Although I still can't burp the way I like. 474 00:21:30,790 --> 00:21:34,025 - Well, you stick to your rehab. 475 00:21:34,027 --> 00:21:36,360 - I'm happy to be out of that hospital. 476 00:21:36,362 --> 00:21:38,396 Boy, they had me so drugged up, 477 00:21:38,398 --> 00:21:41,599 I didn't know whether I was comin' or goin'. 478 00:21:41,601 --> 00:21:46,370 - I thought what they had you on was marvelous. 479 00:21:46,372 --> 00:21:49,440 I'm gonna call mexico and try to get some for the house.