1
00:00:06,000 --> 00:00:08,400
Ladies and gentlemen,

2
00:00:08,480 --> 00:00:10,720
please welcome to the stage

3
00:00:10,800 --> 00:00:14,040
the one, the only, the man,
the myth, the legend,

4
00:00:14,120 --> 00:00:17,960
Mr. Zakir Khan!

5
00:00:44,160 --> 00:00:45,200
This is great!

6
00:00:48,520 --> 00:00:50,040
Sit down. Sit down.

7
00:00:51,320 --> 00:00:52,840
Thank you so much.
A lot of love to all of you.

8
00:00:52,920 --> 00:00:54,000
Give yourselves a big round of applause.

9
00:00:59,960 --> 00:01:02,440
The show's called <i>Papa Yaar</i>.
How many of you already knew that?

10
00:01:04,240 --> 00:01:06,960
Now, how many of you have actually
brought your father with you tonight?

11
00:01:08,760 --> 00:01:10,319
Okay, okay, okay.

12
00:01:10,400 --> 00:01:13,360
So, to all the dads who are here tonight,
wherever you're sitting,

13
00:01:13,440 --> 00:01:14,680
let me assure you

14
00:01:15,760 --> 00:01:18,400
by the end of the show,
you'll be celebrated.

15
00:01:19,000 --> 00:01:21,360
But the next two hours are going to be
a little rough.

16
00:01:25,400 --> 00:01:28,440
So no unnecessary dad behavior like,
"What's going on here?"

17
00:01:29,520 --> 00:01:31,120
This isn't your house, okay?

18
00:01:33,360 --> 00:01:36,920
People often say
fathers are like coconuts.

19
00:01:38,040 --> 00:01:39,680
Hard on the outside, and on the inside?

20
00:01:39,760 --> 00:01:41,040
Soft.

21
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Maybe yours are.

22
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Mine somehow missed
the "soft on the inside" part.

23
00:01:46,880 --> 00:01:50,280
I don't know at what age I'll finally
stop being terrified of that man.

24
00:01:50,360 --> 00:01:52,920
Just last week I was in Indore,
lying on the couch watching TV.

25
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My dad… came back from the market.

26
00:01:55,560 --> 00:01:57,920
There are some traumas
triggered by specific sounds.

27
00:01:59,200 --> 00:02:00,280
One is the sound of his scooter.

28
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The other is the sound
of our front gate opening.

29
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I don't know what happened to me.
I switched off the TV and grabbed a book.

30
00:02:09,880 --> 00:02:11,600
Am I taking any exams?

31
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Are my exams due?

32
00:02:14,440 --> 00:02:16,039
And yet, I'm still scared of this man.

33
00:02:18,520 --> 00:02:19,760
My relationship

34
00:02:20,480 --> 00:02:21,680
with my father went downhill

35
00:02:23,120 --> 00:02:24,440
when I was five.

36
00:02:27,480 --> 00:02:29,040
It was not like we were having
meaningful conversations

37
00:02:29,120 --> 00:02:30,120
before that anyway.

38
00:02:31,280 --> 00:02:32,400
Here's what happened.

39
00:02:32,480 --> 00:02:36,040
One day, my father had to visit the home
of a very senior government officer.

40
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He was like, "I need someone
with a mature personality."

41
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"Should I take Zakir with me?"

42
00:02:42,480 --> 00:02:43,840
So my mom requested me,

43
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and was like, "He's an okay guy.
He's my husband after all."

44
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"He's your father,
and we're living in his house too."

45
00:02:51,080 --> 00:02:52,480
"Go with him, if you feel like it."

46
00:02:52,560 --> 00:02:54,600
So I went out with my dad
for the first time, without my mom.

47
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To someone else's house.

48
00:02:56,720 --> 00:02:58,680
Every house has it's own fragrance.

49
00:02:59,240 --> 00:03:00,320
Its own atmosphere.

50
00:03:00,400 --> 00:03:02,920
And that's the best part of childhood,
you're observing so much.

51
00:03:03,000 --> 00:03:04,440
The tiniest details,
like, "What's this color?"

52
00:03:04,520 --> 00:03:06,480
"What's that? What's this? What's that?"

53
00:03:06,560 --> 00:03:09,200
Man, the guy whose house we went to
was such a fool, I can't even tell you.

54
00:03:10,600 --> 00:03:12,920
That day I learned
a very important lesson in life.

55
00:03:13,000 --> 00:03:14,840
Just because someone's successful

56
00:03:14,920 --> 00:03:16,760
or holds a big government position,
or their business took off,

57
00:03:16,840 --> 00:03:18,520
doesn't mean they're not an idiot.

58
00:03:21,680 --> 00:03:22,880
Men have this weird belief

59
00:03:22,960 --> 00:03:25,240
that once they become successful,
nobody will ever call them an idiot again.

60
00:03:25,320 --> 00:03:26,720
Maybe not to your face.

61
00:03:30,280 --> 00:03:31,360
Right?

62
00:03:34,200 --> 00:03:35,880
Behind your back, they still do.

63
00:03:36,680 --> 00:03:38,840
Some people think
that because their business is doing well

64
00:03:38,920 --> 00:03:42,080
or they cleared some big exam,
the sun now shines out of their ass.

65
00:03:46,600 --> 00:03:48,480
Being successful is a different genre,

66
00:03:48,560 --> 00:03:50,120
being a better human being
is a different genre.

67
00:03:50,200 --> 00:03:52,200
You still have to work
on your personality, right?

68
00:03:52,280 --> 00:03:54,320
You'll have to check your ego every day.

69
00:03:55,040 --> 00:03:57,320
"What am I doing?
Am I doing this the right way?" Right?

70
00:03:58,280 --> 00:04:00,400
Now this big grown man picking
on a five-year-old kid

71
00:04:00,480 --> 00:04:01,800
for absolutely no reason.

72
00:04:03,200 --> 00:04:04,760
He asks me, "What is your name?"

73
00:04:04,840 --> 00:04:06,440
I said, "My name is Zakir Khan."

74
00:04:06,520 --> 00:04:08,040
He goes, "No, you should say…"

75
00:04:08,120 --> 00:04:09,120
He just said 'No.'

76
00:04:10,760 --> 00:04:12,640
How does my own name become wrong, man?
It's my name!

77
00:04:14,280 --> 00:04:18,200
Then he says, "No. You should say
your name is Master Zakir Khan."

78
00:04:19,720 --> 00:04:20,920
I was like, "Get lost, man."

79
00:04:23,440 --> 00:04:26,480
And his wife,
what a beautiful, dynamic woman.

80
00:04:27,040 --> 00:04:30,240
We've all seen couples like that.
They're everywhere in society.

81
00:04:31,040 --> 00:04:33,880
A complete loser, dumb husband

82
00:04:33,960 --> 00:04:38,680
and this incredibly dynamic, polished,
intelligent, amazing woman. Right?

83
00:04:39,600 --> 00:04:40,480
You've seen that couple?

84
00:04:42,240 --> 00:04:43,560
What did we learn from that, folks?

85
00:04:43,640 --> 00:04:45,840
If the matchmaker is good,
anything is possible. Right?

86
00:04:47,840 --> 00:04:51,840
She served tea and coffee
and all that to the grown-ups.

87
00:04:51,920 --> 00:04:53,080
Then she noticed
there's a kid accompanying,

88
00:04:53,160 --> 00:04:56,880
so she brought me my own plate
filled with Bourbon biscuits.

89
00:04:58,200 --> 00:05:00,480
I'd never seen Bourbon biscuits before.

90
00:05:01,480 --> 00:05:02,640
I thought

91
00:05:02,720 --> 00:05:04,240
this is what drugs are.

92
00:05:07,960 --> 00:05:09,080
Now here's the problem, guys.

93
00:05:09,160 --> 00:05:10,880
Before leaving the house,
Mom had warned me,

94
00:05:10,960 --> 00:05:13,400
"If someone offers you food,
don't just start gobbling it up."

95
00:05:14,240 --> 00:05:16,120
So I had to maintain
at least a little decorum.

96
00:05:17,360 --> 00:05:19,040
So, very quietly, without anyone noticing,

97
00:05:19,120 --> 00:05:21,000
I started counting the biscuits
on my fingers.

98
00:05:21,640 --> 00:05:22,920
Who's going to notice that?

99
00:05:23,680 --> 00:05:27,000
One, two, three,
four, five, six, seven, eight.

100
00:05:27,640 --> 00:05:29,720
I picked up and ate one biscuit.
My mind was blown.

101
00:05:31,000 --> 00:05:32,120
I couldn't process it.

102
00:05:32,680 --> 00:05:35,040
Now I have to eat one more.
Only then I'll be able to process it.

103
00:05:35,920 --> 00:05:37,040
How many biscuits are left now?

104
00:05:38,320 --> 00:05:39,160
No idea.

105
00:05:41,320 --> 00:05:44,440
I only know how to count.
I didn't know addition or subtraction yet.

106
00:05:44,520 --> 00:05:46,160
So I have to start all over again.

107
00:05:46,240 --> 00:05:47,520
What else am I supposed to do?

108
00:05:49,560 --> 00:05:51,920
Every age has its own issues.

109
00:05:54,400 --> 00:05:55,640
So I started counting again.

110
00:05:56,480 --> 00:05:58,800
One, two, three, four, five, six…

111
00:05:58,880 --> 00:06:00,040
Seven.

112
00:06:00,120 --> 00:06:01,760
This time I ate it slowly,
devouring each bite.

113
00:06:01,840 --> 00:06:03,200
Now here's the problem, folks.

114
00:06:03,280 --> 00:06:05,040
I'd already eaten
two biscuits back to back.

115
00:06:05,840 --> 00:06:07,440
I can't just go straight for a third one.

116
00:06:08,280 --> 00:06:10,840
Right?
You should atleast wait for five minutes.

117
00:06:14,520 --> 00:06:15,840
Five minutes must've passed by now.

118
00:06:16,880 --> 00:06:18,440
It's been five minutes, right?

119
00:06:18,520 --> 00:06:19,920
It's been five minutes, no?

120
00:06:20,000 --> 00:06:21,120
I can have another one now, right?

121
00:06:22,280 --> 00:06:23,440
Now how many biscuits are left?

122
00:06:24,240 --> 00:06:25,800
No idea. No idea.

123
00:06:26,320 --> 00:06:29,320
He talks about counting again,
not eating another biscuit.

124
00:06:29,400 --> 00:06:31,800
From the beginning.
One, two, three, four…

125
00:06:31,880 --> 00:06:33,200
That's when this idiot goes,

126
00:06:34,480 --> 00:06:36,920
"Hey, son, why are you counting
every biscuit before you eat it, huh?"

127
00:06:37,640 --> 00:06:40,720
"I've been watching you this whole time.
Doing one, two, three, four."

128
00:06:40,800 --> 00:06:42,760
"Just enjoy them! We'll get you more!"

129
00:06:45,880 --> 00:06:47,200
I was like, "You villian."

130
00:06:49,040 --> 00:06:50,080
"You absolute moron."

131
00:06:51,840 --> 00:06:53,600
"Saying such things
in front of strangers?"

132
00:06:54,160 --> 00:06:56,440
"If you'd said it in front of my mom,
I could've handled it."

133
00:06:56,960 --> 00:06:59,320
"But why did you have to say it
in front of my dad?"

134
00:06:59,400 --> 00:07:01,120
"Do you think
I am on talking terms with him?"

135
00:07:02,840 --> 00:07:05,040
Dad just stared at me like
he was about to reduce me to ashes.

136
00:07:06,320 --> 00:07:09,120
And then, to make things worse,
once home, he told the entire family.

137
00:07:09,200 --> 00:07:10,320
He's like, "Stupid boy!"

138
00:07:10,400 --> 00:07:13,080
"The whole family has to chase him around
with food just to get him to eat."

139
00:07:13,880 --> 00:07:16,880
"I take him out once, and he's counting
and eating biscuits. Shameless boy!"

140
00:07:17,760 --> 00:07:20,800
Dad just kept scolding me
and scolding me and scolding me.

141
00:07:20,880 --> 00:07:24,080
The problem is I've had ADD
or ADHD-type issues since I was a kid.

142
00:07:25,440 --> 00:07:27,960
If you keep talking for too long,
you're the one getting tired.

143
00:07:28,560 --> 00:07:30,120
I have mentally checked out already.

144
00:07:30,840 --> 00:07:32,280
My attention is on this bug

145
00:07:33,440 --> 00:07:35,680
which is black in the front
and red in the back.

146
00:07:36,400 --> 00:07:39,160
"How many legs does it have?
One, two, three, four, five, six…"

147
00:07:39,240 --> 00:07:41,560
"And how many do I have?
I've only got one, two, three, four."

148
00:07:41,640 --> 00:07:43,760
"So when do my other two legs grow out?"
I'm thinking about these things.

149
00:07:46,680 --> 00:07:48,320
But folks, you have to live in this world.

150
00:07:48,400 --> 00:07:49,400
You're living in their house.

151
00:07:49,480 --> 00:07:51,120
So if the man's putting
this much effort into yelling at you,

152
00:07:51,840 --> 00:07:53,240
the least you can do
is make a crying face.

153
00:07:53,320 --> 00:07:55,000
Even if you don't
actually feel like crying.

154
00:07:55,560 --> 00:07:57,720
You just lock into one note…

155
00:08:02,320 --> 00:08:03,200
In the meantime, the bug flew away

156
00:08:03,280 --> 00:08:05,160
and my attention shifted.
"Oh, there it goes."

157
00:08:05,840 --> 00:08:06,960
"It flew away."

158
00:08:08,120 --> 00:08:10,720
Then someone said,
"Hey, why is he sitting on the floor?"

159
00:08:15,280 --> 00:08:17,320
Round Two. Dad came in with all the stuff.

160
00:08:18,400 --> 00:08:20,800
A jar of sugar. A packet of biscuits.
A packet of chocolates.

161
00:08:20,880 --> 00:08:22,320
And he dumped everything into my lap.

162
00:08:22,400 --> 00:08:24,480
"There! This is
what you went crazy over, right?"

163
00:08:24,560 --> 00:08:26,760
The chocolates and biscuits scattered.
The sugar jar stayed in my lap.

164
00:08:26,840 --> 00:08:27,800
I do like sugar.

165
00:08:30,480 --> 00:08:32,360
He goes, "This is what you lost your mind
over. You embarrassed me there!"

166
00:08:32,440 --> 00:08:34,680
"Now eat! Go on, eat! Eat!
Stuff yourself! Eat! Eat! Eat!"

167
00:08:35,640 --> 00:08:38,400
There are a lot of dads here tonight,
so I'll say this to your faces.

168
00:08:40,240 --> 00:08:41,760
Maybe you guys are wonderful

169
00:08:42,559 --> 00:08:44,200
but your choice of words is awful.

170
00:08:49,039 --> 00:08:51,840
When someone talks to you that badly,
of course you're going to cry. Right?

171
00:08:51,920 --> 00:08:52,880
So I went…

172
00:09:05,560 --> 00:09:07,160
Am I doing something wrong?

173
00:09:07,760 --> 00:09:09,800
I'm just doing
what you told me to do, am I not?

174
00:09:09,880 --> 00:09:11,320
And then he just goes into denial.

175
00:09:14,560 --> 00:09:15,960
He says, "Look! Look at your son!"

176
00:09:17,440 --> 00:09:19,680
What do you mean, your son?

177
00:09:19,760 --> 00:09:21,680
I'm not eating on my own,
I'm eating because you told me to!

178
00:09:23,800 --> 00:09:26,480
That day was enough.
To this day, I don't trust this man.

179
00:09:27,920 --> 00:09:29,080
Inconsistent fellow.

180
00:09:30,720 --> 00:09:33,840
He cannot make up his mind
and then gets mad because I ate.

181
00:09:35,560 --> 00:09:36,960
Dads have this thing,

182
00:09:37,040 --> 00:09:39,080
every 3 months,
dads get a chest congestion.

183
00:09:40,120 --> 00:09:42,120
Not cough, but an hour long speech.

184
00:09:43,600 --> 00:09:46,000
And the title of that speech is always,

185
00:09:47,040 --> 00:09:48,880
"I've given you facilities

186
00:09:48,960 --> 00:09:51,080
that even Elon Musk doesn't
give his kids!"

187
00:09:53,320 --> 00:09:55,000
"I never had any of this."

188
00:09:55,840 --> 00:09:58,080
"Because I was
the poor farmer Hariya's son."

189
00:09:58,960 --> 00:10:01,040
"I had to crawl 900 kilometers
on my elbows,

190
00:10:01,120 --> 00:10:02,640
cross rivers of acid,

191
00:10:02,720 --> 00:10:04,480
swim through crocodile-infested ponds,

192
00:10:04,560 --> 00:10:06,720
climb over barbed wire,
walk through dragon fire

193
00:10:06,800 --> 00:10:08,000
just to get to school."

194
00:10:08,080 --> 00:10:09,480
"One day the crocodiles ate both my legs."

195
00:10:09,560 --> 00:10:11,600
"Yet, I did not stop, I did not give up,
I did not get tired."

196
00:10:11,680 --> 00:10:13,280
"I flew up in the air and reached school."

197
00:10:13,360 --> 00:10:14,360
"The teachers were stunned."

198
00:10:14,440 --> 00:10:17,320
"'Son, you don't even have legs.
How did you make it to school?'"

199
00:10:17,400 --> 00:10:21,120
"I said, 'Ma'am, my passion for learning
brought me all the way here.'"

200
00:10:24,280 --> 00:10:25,320
Don't…

201
00:10:25,960 --> 00:10:27,720
Don't over-appreciate their stories.

202
00:10:30,200 --> 00:10:32,280
Deep down, even I knew the story was fake.

203
00:10:32,960 --> 00:10:34,640
But the problem is
I was living in his house.

204
00:10:36,760 --> 00:10:38,240
So I thought…

205
00:10:38,320 --> 00:10:39,960
Just listen.

206
00:10:40,040 --> 00:10:43,280
Whether the story's true or not,
I'm still living under his roof.

207
00:10:43,800 --> 00:10:45,000
Why disagree?

208
00:10:45,640 --> 00:10:46,960
So I decided,

209
00:10:47,040 --> 00:10:49,560
let me praise him a little.
That way nothing comes back on me.

210
00:10:49,640 --> 00:10:50,920
I will not cross-question him.

211
00:10:51,000 --> 00:10:52,880
Like, "How exactly
did you swim across" and all that.

212
00:10:53,560 --> 00:10:55,760
Just use minimum words.
I just said, "Amazing, Dad."

213
00:10:56,440 --> 00:10:58,000
Safe? Safe? Safe?

214
00:10:58,720 --> 00:11:00,680
And this man somehow turned that
against me.

215
00:11:01,800 --> 00:11:03,600
He goes, "Of course, I am amazing."

216
00:11:04,600 --> 00:11:07,160
He said, "When will I ever get to say,
'Amazing, Son'?"

217
00:11:12,360 --> 00:11:14,040
Tell me, is he a trustworthy man?

218
00:11:16,200 --> 00:11:17,640
"We feed you the best food."

219
00:11:17,720 --> 00:11:19,640
"We get you everything…"

220
00:11:19,720 --> 00:11:20,760
"You ask for."

221
00:11:20,840 --> 00:11:23,480
"Last birthday,
you said you wanted skates."

222
00:11:23,560 --> 00:11:26,040
No, I didn't.
I asked for those five birthdays ago.

223
00:11:28,440 --> 00:11:31,520
"Go ask your classmates.
Nobody has skates as nice as yours."

224
00:11:32,480 --> 00:11:33,560
"But what happened?"

225
00:11:34,520 --> 00:11:35,840
"They're still sitting
on top of the cupboard."

226
00:11:36,840 --> 00:11:37,800
"Huh?"

227
00:11:37,880 --> 00:11:39,000
"Covered in cobwebs."

228
00:11:39,800 --> 00:11:40,760
"Huh?"

229
00:11:40,840 --> 00:11:42,640
"Huh? Huh?"

230
00:11:42,720 --> 00:11:43,840
"Huh?"

231
00:11:44,640 --> 00:11:45,880
Dads have this fantasy

232
00:11:45,960 --> 00:11:47,400
that while they're scolding you,

233
00:11:47,480 --> 00:11:48,800
you should actively participate.

234
00:11:49,800 --> 00:11:51,200
I mean, if he's yelling,
you'll listen quietly

235
00:11:51,280 --> 00:11:53,200
or will you jump in,
"Yes, you are right, Dad!"

236
00:11:53,720 --> 00:11:55,560
"Oh my God!
Dad, what an incredible observation!"

237
00:11:55,640 --> 00:11:57,200
"Yes! They do have cobwebs on them!"

238
00:11:57,720 --> 00:12:00,000
Man, a normal person just stands there
and listens.

239
00:12:01,200 --> 00:12:04,320
"At least you could've learned to skate.
It would've made me feel better

240
00:12:04,880 --> 00:12:07,400
that at least my kid knows how to skate."

241
00:12:07,480 --> 00:12:10,880
"But no. You set 9,000 rupees on fire."

242
00:12:11,600 --> 00:12:13,080
"You flushed 9,000 rupees

243
00:12:13,160 --> 00:12:14,400
down the drain."

244
00:12:14,480 --> 00:12:16,680
Sir, please pick one.

245
00:12:18,120 --> 00:12:20,640
Either I set it on fire
or flushed it away. It can't be both.

246
00:12:23,040 --> 00:12:24,920
And then,
you can't even take him anywhere.

247
00:12:25,880 --> 00:12:28,520
One time, in the seventh grade,
he came to school for the PTM.

248
00:12:29,080 --> 00:12:32,000
This man grabbed my hand
and dragged me to Class fifth D.

249
00:12:33,120 --> 00:12:35,280
He didn't even know what class I was in.

250
00:12:36,520 --> 00:12:39,240
I had to stop him at the classroom door.
"Dad, I'm in seventh grade."

251
00:12:40,320 --> 00:12:42,280
He goes, "Earlier it used to be here."

252
00:12:45,280 --> 00:12:47,280
No father ever admits their mistakes.

253
00:12:54,320 --> 00:12:55,720
Sorry, sir. Sorry.

254
00:12:59,520 --> 00:13:01,840
And it's not like
my dad is uniquely like this.

255
00:13:03,600 --> 00:13:05,440
The entire species is the same.

256
00:13:08,400 --> 00:13:10,600
Okay, I see a few moms here too.

257
00:13:10,680 --> 00:13:13,440
You're all enjoying
that the dads are getting roasted.

258
00:13:13,520 --> 00:13:14,800
Relax. I'm coming for you too.

259
00:13:15,640 --> 00:13:18,560
I'll come to you.
You're not exactly saints yourselves.

260
00:13:21,640 --> 00:13:23,800
This was back in twelfth grade.
My childhood friend Kuntal,

261
00:13:23,880 --> 00:13:24,880
some of you might know him.

262
00:13:27,000 --> 00:13:29,040
So in the twelfth grade,
one day Kuntal said,

263
00:13:29,120 --> 00:13:30,440
"We've never done a night stay."

264
00:13:30,520 --> 00:13:33,040
"Come over Saturday.
We'll stay up all night studying."

265
00:13:33,760 --> 00:13:34,920
This was on a Tuesday.

266
00:13:36,200 --> 00:13:37,640
So we made the plan for Saturday.

267
00:13:38,760 --> 00:13:40,880
Folks, I need some technical help
from you here.

268
00:13:40,960 --> 00:13:42,720
Do we ever have a direct conversation
with our dads?

269
00:13:42,800 --> 00:13:43,920
No.

270
00:13:44,000 --> 00:13:45,200
What's the proper procedure?

271
00:13:45,280 --> 00:13:47,440
We tell Mom. Mom talks to Dad.

272
00:13:47,520 --> 00:13:48,960
And Dad says no.

273
00:13:51,160 --> 00:13:54,320
Remember this, folks.
Our moms are only our moms part-time.

274
00:13:55,320 --> 00:13:57,520
Full-time, they're Team Husband.

275
00:14:00,520 --> 00:14:02,320
If something's bothering you
or troubling you,

276
00:14:02,400 --> 00:14:04,280
if you need to vent
or share your feelings,

277
00:14:04,360 --> 00:14:05,640
tell a rickshaw driver.

278
00:14:07,160 --> 00:14:09,280
Don't ever tell your mom.

279
00:14:09,360 --> 00:14:11,280
Never share with her.

280
00:14:12,600 --> 00:14:14,880
Zero trust.
She's an absolutely zero-trust person.

281
00:14:15,720 --> 00:14:16,840
Minimum trust.

282
00:14:18,960 --> 00:14:21,160
Tuesday came. I told this lady,

283
00:14:22,240 --> 00:14:24,000
"Talk to your husband."

284
00:14:24,960 --> 00:14:26,600
My mom says, "Sure."

285
00:14:26,680 --> 00:14:28,680
"Will you drop me at Smita Aunty's house?"

286
00:14:28,760 --> 00:14:30,480
Guys, is this a business deal or not?

287
00:14:30,560 --> 00:14:32,840
-Yes.
-Are we in a deal here or not?

288
00:14:32,920 --> 00:14:33,800
Yes.

289
00:14:33,880 --> 00:14:37,080
Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday,
I was slaving for this woman.

290
00:14:37,680 --> 00:14:40,480
It's fine. I swallowed my pride.
No problem.

291
00:14:40,560 --> 00:14:41,800
It's okay.

292
00:14:41,880 --> 00:14:43,560
Saturday, everything will go smoothly.

293
00:14:44,280 --> 00:14:46,680
Where are the moms here? Raise your hands.

294
00:14:47,560 --> 00:14:48,440
Guys,

295
00:14:48,960 --> 00:14:50,840
Saturday morning,
she let her husband free.

296
00:14:54,960 --> 00:14:56,880
What exactly did I pay for then?

297
00:14:57,840 --> 00:14:59,720
Why is the promise not being delivered?

298
00:15:00,880 --> 00:15:02,560
She wouldn't leave her husband
for even a second.

299
00:15:02,640 --> 00:15:04,680
Peeling garlic beside him.
Chopping ginger beside him.

300
00:15:04,760 --> 00:15:07,960
The man's got onion fumes in his face.
But she goes on and on.

301
00:15:08,040 --> 00:15:10,120
She didn't bother
to take two minutes and talk to me.

302
00:15:11,360 --> 00:15:12,440
Guys, tell me if you agree.

303
00:15:12,520 --> 00:15:14,840
Tone matches tone.
Rhythm matches rhythm. Right?

304
00:15:14,920 --> 00:15:17,120
If I walk into a room and say, "Hello."

305
00:15:17,200 --> 00:15:19,160
-How'd you respond?
-Hello.

306
00:15:19,240 --> 00:15:20,960
Right? But if you're in a room,

307
00:15:21,040 --> 00:15:23,200
and I peek in through the door,

308
00:15:23,280 --> 00:15:25,640
look at only you and quietly go, "Mom."

309
00:15:28,320 --> 00:15:30,440
How can its response be, "Huh?"

310
00:15:32,840 --> 00:15:33,920
I mean…

311
00:15:38,800 --> 00:15:40,720
Due to this, her husband notices.

312
00:15:40,800 --> 00:15:41,640
He goes, "What happened?"

313
00:15:41,720 --> 00:15:43,600
She goes, "I don't know.
You only ask him."

314
00:15:48,520 --> 00:15:51,160
I'd heard of stabbing in the back,
but she hit me with a bulldozer.

315
00:15:53,240 --> 00:15:55,120
Now I had to explain myself unnecessarily.

316
00:15:55,920 --> 00:15:59,080
And sit through another lecture
about barbed wires,

317
00:15:59,160 --> 00:16:03,040
dragons breathing fire,
crocodiles eating his legs,

318
00:16:03,640 --> 00:16:05,440
about the 11,000 rupee skates
he bought me.

319
00:16:05,520 --> 00:16:07,040
and how I wasted 11,000 rupees.

320
00:16:07,120 --> 00:16:09,040
-What?
-9,000.

321
00:16:09,120 --> 00:16:10,800
Are you people crazy?

322
00:16:11,800 --> 00:16:13,160
The amount goes up every year.

323
00:16:13,880 --> 00:16:16,320
That's compounding.
What are you talking about, man?

324
00:16:23,800 --> 00:16:25,560
At 3:00 p.m., I reached Kuntal's place.

325
00:16:26,520 --> 00:16:28,120
We chatted about girls for a while.

326
00:16:29,040 --> 00:16:31,160
I mean, whatever there was to talk about.

327
00:16:31,760 --> 00:16:34,040
At 3:30 p.m., we opened our books
and started studying.

328
00:16:34,120 --> 00:16:36,720
Ten minutes later, he looked at me,
I looked at him and he said,

329
00:16:37,320 --> 00:16:38,440
"Let's go for a bike ride."

330
00:16:38,520 --> 00:16:39,840
"We'll come back,

331
00:16:39,920 --> 00:16:41,800
we'll come back
and study with a fresh mind."

332
00:16:42,440 --> 00:16:43,960
With what mind are we going to study?

333
00:16:44,040 --> 00:16:45,320
Fresh.

334
00:16:45,400 --> 00:16:46,920
Any students in the house?
Give me a cheer.

335
00:16:48,960 --> 00:16:51,040
If you want to succeed in life,
take my advice.

336
00:16:51,120 --> 00:16:52,920
Start studying with an unfresh mind.

337
00:16:54,360 --> 00:16:56,280
My life fell apart
because of this attitude.

338
00:16:56,960 --> 00:16:59,720
I kept waiting for my mind to feel fresh.

339
00:16:59,800 --> 00:17:01,920
It never did. So neither did the studying.

340
00:17:03,880 --> 00:17:06,240
I said, "Okay."
Kuntal had just bought a new bike.

341
00:17:06,320 --> 00:17:08,280
And when a teenager gets a new bike,

342
00:17:08,360 --> 00:17:10,440
their mental balance shifts a little.

343
00:17:11,640 --> 00:17:13,520
Their mental state gets disturbed.

344
00:17:13,599 --> 00:17:15,640
They have no idea what to do with it.

345
00:17:15,720 --> 00:17:17,400
"Should I ride it into the bathroom?"

346
00:17:19,560 --> 00:17:20,960
Around 4 p.m.,

347
00:17:21,040 --> 00:17:22,359
we went out on Kuntal's bike

348
00:17:22,440 --> 00:17:24,440
for a quick ride
of just ten-fifteen minutes.

349
00:17:28,760 --> 00:17:30,480
Then at 12:30 at night…

350
00:17:32,599 --> 00:17:34,400
we were 200 kilometers outside Indore…

351
00:17:37,120 --> 00:17:39,360
having tea at a roadside dhaba.

352
00:17:40,880 --> 00:17:43,600
That's when Kuntal's mom called,
"Where are you?"

353
00:17:43,680 --> 00:17:45,120
I said, "We are nearby, Aunty."

354
00:17:45,200 --> 00:17:46,400
"Where's Kuntal?"

355
00:17:46,480 --> 00:17:48,680
I said, "Right here."
She goes, "Put him on."

356
00:17:48,760 --> 00:17:51,560
Now, a mother is worried, stressed.
Should I hand him the phone or not?

357
00:17:52,400 --> 00:17:53,440
Those who agree, say yes!

358
00:17:54,000 --> 00:17:54,920
Yes.

359
00:17:55,000 --> 00:17:57,080
-Those who don't, say no.
-No.

360
00:17:57,160 --> 00:17:58,760
The people who said yes, let me tell you,

361
00:17:59,320 --> 00:18:01,280
you had a great upbringing.

362
00:18:02,440 --> 00:18:04,520
But what a boring childhood you had.

363
00:18:05,080 --> 00:18:06,240
Boring.

364
00:18:07,880 --> 00:18:09,440
No, you can't hand him the phone.

365
00:18:10,440 --> 00:18:12,320
Because Kuntal did not reach my house
as many times

366
00:18:12,400 --> 00:18:14,000
as the number of times
he left for my house.

367
00:18:20,720 --> 00:18:23,400
I said, "We're almost there, Aunty.
Almost there. Almost there."

368
00:18:24,240 --> 00:18:26,720
We covered 200 kilometers
in two hours and twenty minutes.

369
00:18:27,680 --> 00:18:29,520
When I got off the bike,
my hands stayed like this.

370
00:18:31,400 --> 00:18:34,240
Aunty was waiting at the door.
It seemed like she was going to thrash us.

371
00:18:34,920 --> 00:18:36,400
Just as we reached, she goes,

372
00:18:36,960 --> 00:18:39,280
"Where were you?
You could've at least told me."

373
00:18:40,080 --> 00:18:42,040
"He's asking me.
What am I supposed to say?"

374
00:18:42,960 --> 00:18:46,480
"I don't even know where my own son is!
At least tell me before you disappear."

375
00:18:50,760 --> 00:18:52,440
Tell you where we went?

376
00:18:53,320 --> 00:18:55,920
So you can run and tell your husband?

377
00:18:56,640 --> 00:18:58,600
So that it ruins
whatever fun we're having.

378
00:18:59,560 --> 00:19:01,320
Yeah, right. Nice try.

379
00:19:02,120 --> 00:19:03,280
Brown-nosing woman.

380
00:19:05,200 --> 00:19:07,400
I told her the story we all know.

381
00:19:07,480 --> 00:19:11,440
I said, "Aunty, actually
when we were coming, just before our eyes,

382
00:19:11,520 --> 00:19:12,600
we saw an accident."

383
00:19:13,960 --> 00:19:15,440
She said, "What accident?"

384
00:19:16,000 --> 00:19:17,800
Kuntal says, "Huh? There was an accident?"

385
00:19:18,680 --> 00:19:20,480
With old friends,
you don't pre-plan the story.

386
00:19:20,560 --> 00:19:21,720
You just go with the flow.

387
00:19:21,800 --> 00:19:23,440
Kuntal thought he could add something too.

388
00:19:24,560 --> 00:19:25,720
So he goes,

389
00:19:25,800 --> 00:19:27,520
"Yeah, Mom, actually a bridge collapsed."

390
00:19:30,680 --> 00:19:31,720
I was like, "Huh?"

391
00:19:32,920 --> 00:19:34,040
"The bridge collapsed?"

392
00:19:35,000 --> 00:19:36,040
"The whole bridge?"

393
00:19:37,760 --> 00:19:39,240
But the rule
of friendship is simple, guys.

394
00:19:39,320 --> 00:19:41,080
If your buddy says the bridge collapsed
then the bridge…

395
00:19:41,160 --> 00:19:42,120
Collapsed!

396
00:19:42,200 --> 00:19:43,400
If your buddy says
we have to do this, then…

397
00:19:43,480 --> 00:19:44,640
You have to do it.

398
00:19:44,720 --> 00:19:47,480
So I said, "Yeah, Aunty.
A bus fell into the gorge too."

399
00:19:48,320 --> 00:19:50,920
Well, of course it did.
The bus had to fall in the gorge.

400
00:19:53,160 --> 00:19:55,440
Aunty burst into tears.

401
00:19:55,520 --> 00:19:57,280
She grabbed us by the collar,
dragged us inside,

402
00:19:57,360 --> 00:19:58,480
went to the kitchen, came back.

403
00:19:58,560 --> 00:20:01,000
She says, "Do you know
why that bridge collapsed?"

404
00:20:01,080 --> 00:20:02,400
I said, "The engineer?"

405
00:20:02,480 --> 00:20:03,760
"The cement? The contractor?"

406
00:20:04,440 --> 00:20:05,640
She said, "No!"

407
00:20:05,720 --> 00:20:09,040
"Ever since Kuntal's father got promoted,

408
00:20:09,600 --> 00:20:13,080
his sister and his brother's wife are
burning with jealousy."

409
00:20:13,160 --> 00:20:15,560
"They are perfoming black magic on us."

410
00:20:15,640 --> 00:20:18,400
"They are doing voodoo
on my house every day, dear."

411
00:20:18,480 --> 00:20:20,200
"Sometimes we find bangles.

412
00:20:20,280 --> 00:20:22,640
"Sometimes lemons."

413
00:20:22,720 --> 00:20:26,120
"To everyone wishing my family harm,
may you be ruined!"

414
00:20:28,800 --> 00:20:29,920
Friends,

415
00:20:30,000 --> 00:20:32,240
every family has
that one person doing black magic.

416
00:20:34,600 --> 00:20:36,240
She's always your father's sister,

417
00:20:37,440 --> 00:20:38,880
your father's sister-in-law,

418
00:20:40,400 --> 00:20:42,080
your mother's sister-in-law
and your paternal grandma.

419
00:20:43,440 --> 00:20:46,360
But that person is never your mom's sister
or your maternal grandma.

420
00:20:53,800 --> 00:20:56,000
That's the narrative
that your moms have spread.

421
00:20:56,600 --> 00:20:58,560
Except for their own mother and sister,

422
00:20:58,640 --> 00:21:00,360
everyone else is evil, dear!

423
00:21:03,600 --> 00:21:05,600
Guys, you all know

424
00:21:05,680 --> 00:21:08,240
how hard your maternal uncle worked
to build his career. Right?

425
00:21:09,280 --> 00:21:11,040
But your paternal uncle? Total scoundrel.

426
00:21:15,640 --> 00:21:17,440
Around 3:30 a.m., we had dinner.

427
00:21:17,520 --> 00:21:19,640
By 4 a.m., we finally opened our books.

428
00:21:20,400 --> 00:21:21,320
Kuntal looked at me.

429
00:21:21,400 --> 00:21:23,200
Ten minutes later, I looked at him.
He said,

430
00:21:23,280 --> 00:21:24,280
"In the morning,

431
00:21:25,280 --> 00:21:26,200
with fresh mind…"

432
00:21:29,920 --> 00:21:30,960
So we went to sleep.

433
00:21:31,960 --> 00:21:34,240
Seven in the morning,
there was a kick on the door. Bang!

434
00:21:35,440 --> 00:21:36,560
The villain enters.

435
00:21:38,360 --> 00:21:39,440
It was a single bed.

436
00:21:39,520 --> 00:21:42,280
I was sleeping against the wall.
Kuntal was on the outside.

437
00:21:42,360 --> 00:21:44,320
I opened my eyes.

438
00:21:45,160 --> 00:21:48,920
Kuntal's dad took three giant steps
and was standing over us.

439
00:21:50,840 --> 00:21:52,120
Zero communication.

440
00:21:54,960 --> 00:21:57,040
He yanked his hair and pulled him up.

441
00:21:58,440 --> 00:22:01,400
That's where I first understood
the definition of a right angle triangle.

442
00:22:06,960 --> 00:22:08,560
Direct question.

443
00:22:08,640 --> 00:22:10,920
Quote-unquote, true story, guys.
I'm not making this up.

444
00:22:11,000 --> 00:22:13,040
He said, "You rascal.
My wife may be innocent,

445
00:22:13,120 --> 00:22:14,480
but I'm not an idiot."

446
00:22:15,440 --> 00:22:18,240
"A bridge collapses in this city
and it doesn't make the newspaper?"

447
00:22:19,680 --> 00:22:20,720
Valid question.

448
00:22:21,960 --> 00:22:23,160
Like father, like son.

449
00:22:24,480 --> 00:22:26,640
Kuntal goes, "Dad, the bridge collapsed
late at night."

450
00:22:28,240 --> 00:22:29,240
"Till then the papers had…"

451
00:22:29,320 --> 00:22:31,160
Already gone to print.

452
00:22:31,240 --> 00:22:32,640
"Already gone to print."

453
00:22:32,720 --> 00:22:34,880
I thought it was a good answer.
Genius answer.

454
00:22:35,600 --> 00:22:37,120
Made sense to me. Not to Uncle.

455
00:22:38,320 --> 00:22:40,120
He started beating him right there.

456
00:22:40,800 --> 00:22:43,320
Grabbed him by the hair,
turned into Singham. One. Two. Three.

457
00:22:44,800 --> 00:22:48,080
Now, guys, I want you to track
my geographical location.

458
00:22:48,960 --> 00:22:50,320
I'm a guest in this house.

459
00:22:51,680 --> 00:22:54,880
Guests have a certain respect.
And the host is supposed to show him that.

460
00:22:56,520 --> 00:22:57,760
The guest here,

461
00:22:57,840 --> 00:22:59,320
is lying here.

462
00:23:00,520 --> 00:23:02,040
And the host

463
00:23:02,120 --> 00:23:05,120
is getting beaten up right here.
Right next to me.

464
00:23:06,480 --> 00:23:09,320
I mean, if the guest breathes too hard,
he'll also receive the beating.

465
00:23:10,840 --> 00:23:13,400
So I played dead.

466
00:23:14,640 --> 00:23:16,440
I'd learned this back in third grade.

467
00:23:16,520 --> 00:23:18,360
If you see a bear, don't run.

468
00:23:20,160 --> 00:23:21,280
Play dead.

469
00:23:27,080 --> 00:23:30,080
Ten minutes later,
despite the brutal beating,

470
00:23:31,200 --> 00:23:33,120
Kuntal walked back in,
still fixing his hair.

471
00:23:34,240 --> 00:23:37,240
That guy was built different.
Nothing embarrases him anymore.

472
00:23:41,320 --> 00:23:43,520
He goes, "You want breakfast?"

473
00:23:48,680 --> 00:23:51,280
I said, "Put yourself
back together first."

474
00:23:53,960 --> 00:23:55,720
"Your leg's still over there."

475
00:23:56,440 --> 00:23:57,520
He goes, "Are you scared?"

476
00:23:58,480 --> 00:24:00,240
"This is Dad's way of showing love."

477
00:24:00,960 --> 00:24:03,760
I said, "Your dad really loves you, man."

478
00:24:07,000 --> 00:24:10,080
{\an8}Monday passed. Tuesday passed.
We figured we were in the safe zone now.

479
00:24:10,760 --> 00:24:14,400
On Wednesday, Kuntal says,
"Mom made <i>halwa</i>. Wanna come over?"

480
00:24:14,960 --> 00:24:17,160
Guys, I'd go to hell for the <i>halwa</i>.

481
00:24:18,120 --> 00:24:19,360
We reached his house.

482
00:24:19,440 --> 00:24:22,080
They had this iron gate.
We'd always kick it open.

483
00:24:22,160 --> 00:24:24,840
It was a big iron gate.
We'd always kick it hard.

484
00:24:24,920 --> 00:24:27,720
Aunty would be sitting on the veranda.
I'd say, "Hi, Aunty."

485
00:24:28,520 --> 00:24:30,200
She'd greet me and head to the kitchen.

486
00:24:31,040 --> 00:24:33,120
That day, the same routine.
I kicked the gate open.

487
00:24:33,200 --> 00:24:34,720
Just as I was about to greet her,

488
00:24:34,800 --> 00:24:37,560
I looked up, and it wasn't Aunty.
It was Uncle.

489
00:24:39,720 --> 00:24:41,920
Wearing a sleeveless vest,
revealing nipple line

490
00:24:43,320 --> 00:24:45,200
and blue checked lungi.

491
00:24:49,480 --> 00:24:51,960
Dark blue, light blue,
Dark blue, light blue.

492
00:24:52,040 --> 00:24:54,720
You got the idea, right?
Big checks, not the tiny ones.

493
00:24:56,120 --> 00:24:58,120
And spread out in front of him

494
00:24:58,200 --> 00:25:00,960
were Monday's, Tuesday's
and Wednesday's newspapers.

495
00:25:05,440 --> 00:25:07,720
I looked at Kuntal
and I said, "I'm leaving."

496
00:25:09,480 --> 00:25:11,880
He goes, "Yeah, bro. Go ahead."

497
00:25:15,880 --> 00:25:18,160
If you kick the gate,
won't his Dad notice?

498
00:25:18,880 --> 00:25:21,440
Uncle goes, "Well, well, well.
The revolutionaries are here."

499
00:25:22,480 --> 00:25:25,120
"The future of India has arrived.
Please come in."

500
00:25:25,200 --> 00:25:27,720
"Roll out the flowers for them.
Come on. Come on."

501
00:25:28,560 --> 00:25:30,200
One thing I need to tell dads.

502
00:25:30,280 --> 00:25:32,000
What is this way of talking to us?

503
00:25:33,360 --> 00:25:35,320
Even on our worst days,
they just taunt us.

504
00:25:36,400 --> 00:25:38,840
I walked up, touched Uncle's feet,
"Greetings, Uncle."

505
00:25:40,520 --> 00:25:42,200
He goes, "Live long, Khan Sahab.
Live long."

506
00:25:42,760 --> 00:25:44,320
"So, Shah Rukh, Salman,

507
00:25:45,640 --> 00:25:46,760
come here."

508
00:25:46,840 --> 00:25:49,640
"Where's that bridge-collapse script
of yours?"

509
00:25:51,040 --> 00:25:53,080
I said, "What do you mean?"

510
00:25:54,920 --> 00:25:56,320
"I didn't get you."

511
00:25:57,160 --> 00:25:59,240
He goes, "You were out
all Saturday night."

512
00:26:00,840 --> 00:26:02,480
"The bridge collapsed, right?
Where is it?"

513
00:26:03,480 --> 00:26:04,640
Kuntal jumps in, "Dad,

514
00:26:06,200 --> 00:26:07,560
the bridge really did collapse."

515
00:26:07,640 --> 00:26:09,680
I was like, "What the hell, man?"

516
00:26:11,680 --> 00:26:13,400
I had no idea
where he was going with this.

517
00:26:15,080 --> 00:26:16,640
Even his dad looked confused, "So?"

518
00:26:17,240 --> 00:26:19,400
Then Kuntal goes,
"You know what our country's like."

519
00:26:22,400 --> 00:26:24,320
I was like, why bring
the country into this now?

520
00:26:26,400 --> 00:26:28,440
Uncle was shocked.
He took off his glasses.

521
00:26:29,720 --> 00:26:31,360
"What do you mean,
what our country's like?"

522
00:26:32,440 --> 00:26:33,720
Kuntal goes, "Dad,

523
00:26:33,800 --> 00:26:35,520
after the bridge collapsed

524
00:26:35,600 --> 00:26:37,360
the contractor bribed everyone,

525
00:26:38,360 --> 00:26:40,400
and completely…"

526
00:26:40,480 --> 00:26:42,360
Buried the story.

527
00:26:43,000 --> 00:26:46,280
I swear, there was respect
in Uncle's eyes for Kuntal.

528
00:26:47,160 --> 00:26:49,520
For a second he was like,
"Is he actually my father?"

529
00:26:51,920 --> 00:26:53,880
Even I felt like bowing down
at Kuntal's feet.

530
00:26:55,080 --> 00:26:56,560
Right then, Uncle stood up,

531
00:26:56,640 --> 00:26:58,560
pulled his belt out of his lungi…

532
00:27:00,960 --> 00:27:02,760
and beat the life out of us.

533
00:27:02,840 --> 00:27:03,880
He's like, "You scoundrels!"

534
00:27:03,960 --> 00:27:05,800
"There's a limit to lying."

535
00:27:07,360 --> 00:27:09,600
"What bike racks up
600 kilometers in one week,

536
00:27:09,680 --> 00:27:10,960
just going to school?"

537
00:27:11,880 --> 00:27:15,640
He belted us.
He really went to town on us.

538
00:27:15,720 --> 00:27:17,480
After the beating, Kuntal asks,

539
00:27:17,560 --> 00:27:19,080
"You okay? You didn't feel bad, right?"

540
00:27:20,600 --> 00:27:22,120
I said, "No. Why?"

541
00:27:22,200 --> 00:27:24,240
He goes, "You know what this means?"
I said, "What?"

542
00:27:24,320 --> 00:27:26,640
He's like,
"This means my dad loves you too."

543
00:27:28,960 --> 00:27:30,120
I said…

544
00:27:32,320 --> 00:27:35,360
I said, "You know, I'd be perfectly fine
if your dad loved me a little less."

545
00:27:36,480 --> 00:27:37,840
That trauma never healed.

546
00:27:37,920 --> 00:27:40,080
Not because Uncle beat me.
That's not the trauma.

547
00:27:40,160 --> 00:27:42,280
It's okay, he's my friend's dad.
It happens.

548
00:27:43,360 --> 00:27:45,880
The real trauma?
I saw Uncle in his underwear.

549
00:27:47,160 --> 00:27:48,960
Who wears French-cut briefs, man?

550
00:27:53,160 --> 00:27:55,040
You know, school days were something else.

551
00:27:56,160 --> 00:27:57,680
Every street, every corner,
every square was yours.

552
00:27:57,760 --> 00:27:59,960
Every neighborhood, had a house
where you'd get fed.

553
00:28:00,040 --> 00:28:02,040
There's nothing like
growing up in your own town.

554
00:28:02,120 --> 00:28:03,080
Right?

555
00:28:03,160 --> 00:28:04,720
Life is actually fun and games,

556
00:28:05,320 --> 00:28:07,440
till it is actually not.

557
00:28:07,520 --> 00:28:09,800
Ever notice that?
Life changes gears without warning.

558
00:28:09,880 --> 00:28:11,200
Goofing around, goofing around,
goofing around,

559
00:28:11,280 --> 00:28:12,560
goofing around, goofing around,
goofing around,

560
00:28:12,640 --> 00:28:13,720
debt!

561
00:28:16,560 --> 00:28:18,720
How the hell did that happen?

562
00:28:18,800 --> 00:28:20,560
I wasn't prepared for this.

563
00:28:21,520 --> 00:28:23,320
Nobody tells you
this is where life is headed.

564
00:28:24,640 --> 00:28:26,320
It happened to me too.

565
00:28:26,400 --> 00:28:28,400
At the age of twenty,
I had to leave my hometown.

566
00:28:28,480 --> 00:28:29,800
How many of you have seen <i>Tathastu</i>?

567
00:28:31,640 --> 00:28:34,000
If you haven't, that's okay.
If you have, you know what I mean.

568
00:28:34,080 --> 00:28:36,320
I'd gotten a little too carried away.
I was kind of a gangster in Indore.

569
00:28:36,400 --> 00:28:37,640
"Gangster" is a stretch.

570
00:28:37,720 --> 00:28:39,640
I just wanted to be famous in my city.

571
00:28:39,720 --> 00:28:41,320
So I got a little carried away.
Dad did not know.

572
00:28:41,400 --> 00:28:42,600
He said, "You need to leave this city."

573
00:28:42,680 --> 00:28:44,720
So the plan was to send me to Delhi.

574
00:28:44,800 --> 00:28:46,640
That's when I thought,
"I could be a radio jockey."

575
00:28:46,720 --> 00:28:48,840
I went to Delhi. Checked out some courses.

576
00:28:48,920 --> 00:28:50,480
Came back,

577
00:28:50,560 --> 00:28:52,400
told Mom,

578
00:28:52,480 --> 00:28:54,280
"This is the cost of the course."

579
00:28:54,360 --> 00:28:55,480
"Tell your husband."

580
00:28:58,440 --> 00:29:00,000
A couple of days later, I got summoned.

581
00:29:01,120 --> 00:29:02,520
He goes, "Hey, come here."

582
00:29:02,600 --> 00:29:05,040
When you're 20,
you can't answer questions directly.

583
00:29:05,120 --> 00:29:07,400
It is your national duty to talk back.

584
00:29:08,960 --> 00:29:10,120
I said, "Yes?"

585
00:29:11,600 --> 00:29:12,640
"So,

586
00:29:13,200 --> 00:29:14,720
how much?"

587
00:29:14,800 --> 00:29:17,400
I said, "I've got about seven
or eight hundred rupees."

588
00:29:20,520 --> 00:29:22,080
He goes, "Have some manners."

589
00:29:23,600 --> 00:29:25,000
"Answer properly."

590
00:29:25,080 --> 00:29:26,360
"I'm asking about the institute!"

591
00:29:26,440 --> 00:29:28,120
Then ask the whole question, man,

592
00:29:28,200 --> 00:29:29,240
that what's cost of the course.

593
00:29:29,320 --> 00:29:31,280
Talking in half sentences,
and then blaming me.

594
00:29:31,880 --> 00:29:32,800
I said, "Oh, about that."

595
00:29:32,880 --> 00:29:35,000
"The course is for six months.
It costs 80,000 rupees."

596
00:29:35,880 --> 00:29:37,440
He goes,
"Will they give you a proper receipt?"

597
00:29:40,240 --> 00:29:41,360
I guess so.

598
00:29:42,720 --> 00:29:44,400
What is this, a hardware store?

599
00:29:45,520 --> 00:29:47,200
Like I'm gonna pocket 300 bucks?

600
00:29:48,920 --> 00:29:51,440
Honestly, UPI ruined everything.

601
00:29:52,880 --> 00:29:53,920
It's true.

602
00:29:54,760 --> 00:29:57,440
I feel bad for kids today.
How do you even steal money anymore?

603
00:29:58,320 --> 00:29:59,560
What excuse do you give your parents?

604
00:29:59,640 --> 00:30:01,560
Everything's online now. What a disaster.

605
00:30:05,520 --> 00:30:07,480
I said, "I'm sure they'll give a receipt.
It's a big institute."

606
00:30:07,560 --> 00:30:09,800
Dad goes, "Dear, the whole city's talking
about your antics."

607
00:30:10,720 --> 00:30:11,800
"How do I know

608
00:30:11,880 --> 00:30:14,320
you wont smoke away 80,000 rupees
in six months?"

609
00:30:17,720 --> 00:30:20,120
That one really hurt.
It hurt so much.

610
00:30:20,200 --> 00:30:22,640
Despite being my dad,
does he not know the rates?

611
00:30:27,880 --> 00:30:30,080
I didn't say it out loud. Just thought it.

612
00:30:31,200 --> 00:30:34,160
Then he said the one thing
no son or daughter ever wants to hear.

613
00:30:35,680 --> 00:30:36,840
He said to me,

614
00:30:38,440 --> 00:30:39,840
"I'm coming with you."

615
00:30:48,200 --> 00:30:50,720
And I gave the only sensible answer
any son or daughter would give.

616
00:30:51,720 --> 00:30:53,000
"Let's take Mom too."

617
00:30:54,640 --> 00:30:57,440
I said, "Mom…" He goes, "Arbaz
and Zeeshan have exams. How can she go?"

618
00:30:57,520 --> 00:30:58,560
"It's just you and me, got it?"

619
00:30:59,400 --> 00:31:01,240
There's a saying that goes
that when Dad speaks, you shut up,

620
00:31:01,320 --> 00:31:02,560
and when Mom speaks,
you open up.

621
00:31:03,200 --> 00:31:04,480
I couldn't say anything to Dad.

622
00:31:04,560 --> 00:31:07,160
So I went straight to Mom. "Mom,

623
00:31:08,720 --> 00:31:11,080
talk to your husband.
Why is he like this?"

624
00:31:11,760 --> 00:31:13,600
Instead of consoling me,

625
00:31:13,680 --> 00:31:15,360
she started complaining,

626
00:31:15,440 --> 00:31:17,680
"I am the one stuck in the middle."

627
00:31:19,320 --> 00:31:21,120
"You say one thing. He says another."

628
00:31:21,200 --> 00:31:22,960
"You both keep fighting."

629
00:31:23,040 --> 00:31:25,520
"The day I lose my mind,
I'll just get up and leave."

630
00:31:27,600 --> 00:31:28,560
Really?

631
00:31:29,600 --> 00:31:32,200
It's been twenty years.
She's still right here.

632
00:31:33,720 --> 00:31:37,120
She's still here,
yet she continues cribbing to me.

633
00:31:37,200 --> 00:31:39,040
I challenge her, "Go on, leave once."

634
00:31:39,840 --> 00:31:42,320
"We watch daily soap every day.
Why not base one episode on our family?"

635
00:31:43,800 --> 00:31:44,920
I'd love to see the promo.

636
00:31:45,000 --> 00:31:47,560
"Will Ismail ever bring Kulsum back?"

637
00:31:48,200 --> 00:31:49,040
Am I right?

638
00:31:52,880 --> 00:31:53,960
In front of me, she puts on a performance.

639
00:31:54,040 --> 00:31:55,400
The second her husband walks in,
she springs to life,

640
00:31:55,480 --> 00:31:56,440
"Should I make you tea?"

641
00:31:57,680 --> 00:31:59,720
"Tea? Should I make tea? Tea?"

642
00:32:03,200 --> 00:32:04,280
Flatterer.

643
00:32:07,600 --> 00:32:09,480
We booked a ticket for a few days later.

644
00:32:09,560 --> 00:32:10,640
You must know.

645
00:32:10,720 --> 00:32:12,280
There are a lot of dads here.

646
00:32:12,360 --> 00:32:13,520
Sir, you must be aware.

647
00:32:13,600 --> 00:32:16,200
At the railway station
or the airport or the bus stand,

648
00:32:16,280 --> 00:32:19,600
if you reach four or five hours early,
you get some tax discount, right?

649
00:32:20,680 --> 00:32:22,000
Is that a thing? Tell me.

650
00:32:22,720 --> 00:32:23,880
No?

651
00:32:23,960 --> 00:32:25,800
Then why do you go there so early?

652
00:32:27,160 --> 00:32:29,280
What exactly are you getting out of it?

653
00:32:34,560 --> 00:32:36,880
We reached the station at 12:30.

654
00:32:37,640 --> 00:32:41,040
The place was deserted. Just me and Dad,
watching a guy sweep the platform.

655
00:32:44,560 --> 00:32:47,200
Anyone ever traveled alone with your dad?
Give me a cheer?

656
00:32:49,680 --> 00:32:52,160
The biggest downside
of traveling with dads is

657
00:32:52,240 --> 00:32:54,320
the nonstop life lessons.

658
00:32:55,040 --> 00:32:56,240
They start the moment
you get to the station.

659
00:32:56,320 --> 00:32:58,400
"Coal engines are different.
Steam engines are different.

660
00:32:59,520 --> 00:33:01,880
"Meter gauge is different.
Broad gauge is different."

661
00:33:02,760 --> 00:33:06,040
And then comes the disclaimer.
"No one told me but I'm telling you."

662
00:33:06,960 --> 00:33:09,560
Sir, skip it. Even you didn't know.
It probably wasn't that important.

663
00:33:10,280 --> 00:33:11,440
Let it go.

664
00:33:17,120 --> 00:33:18,360
Every dad has just one mission.

665
00:33:18,440 --> 00:33:20,840
Turn their kid into a <i>Roadies</i> contestant.

666
00:33:22,520 --> 00:33:24,600
The train leaves at 4:20.

667
00:33:24,680 --> 00:33:26,880
At 4:19, this man says to me,

668
00:33:26,960 --> 00:33:28,600
"Go get a bottle of water."

669
00:33:31,200 --> 00:33:32,600
Could've said that earlier, Your Majesty.

670
00:33:33,240 --> 00:33:34,400
I've been sitting right here.

671
00:33:35,120 --> 00:33:37,160
The water stall looked like a riot.

672
00:33:37,240 --> 00:33:38,720
People were fighting
with knives and daggers.

673
00:33:40,320 --> 00:33:42,120
I didn't buy that water bottle. I won it.

674
00:33:43,400 --> 00:33:44,400
I hopped onto a moving train.

675
00:33:44,480 --> 00:33:47,960
And he's busy chatting with random people.

676
00:33:48,040 --> 00:33:50,280
Ten minutes later,
he asks the most pointless question.

677
00:33:50,360 --> 00:33:51,680
Wasted the universe's time.

678
00:33:54,240 --> 00:33:56,000
I'm sitting right next to him. He goes,

679
00:33:56,080 --> 00:33:57,200
"So, young guy,

680
00:33:57,280 --> 00:33:58,400
did you get the water?"

681
00:33:59,320 --> 00:34:00,920
What am I holding then? Mango juice?

682
00:34:03,560 --> 00:34:05,040
I mean, I didn't say it out loud.

683
00:34:05,120 --> 00:34:06,960
I just thought it.

684
00:34:07,040 --> 00:34:08,480
Then he asked, "How much was it?"

685
00:34:08,560 --> 00:34:10,440
I said, "Twenty rupees."

686
00:34:11,120 --> 00:34:12,280
He's like, "What's the MRP?"

687
00:34:22,400 --> 00:34:25,719
I was trying to remember
if I had a five-rupee coin in my pocket.

688
00:34:28,159 --> 00:34:29,920
I'd rather suffer loss myself

689
00:34:30,920 --> 00:34:33,000
than sit through another lecture
over five rupees.

690
00:34:34,639 --> 00:34:36,920
But my luck, not a single five rupee coin.

691
00:34:38,679 --> 00:34:40,159
He says, "What's the MRP?"

692
00:34:41,320 --> 00:34:42,800
I replied, "Fifteen rupees."

693
00:34:43,400 --> 00:34:44,719
He, "So where are the five rupees?"

694
00:34:45,960 --> 00:34:47,360
I said, "He didn't give them."

695
00:34:47,440 --> 00:34:50,520
He's like, "He didn't give
or you didn't take them?"

696
00:34:51,199 --> 00:34:52,639
What do you mean, "I didn't take them?"

697
00:34:52,719 --> 00:34:54,199
What do you mean by that?

698
00:34:54,280 --> 00:34:56,639
Like he was handing me the change,
"Sir, here's your five rupees."

699
00:34:56,719 --> 00:34:58,000
and I went, "Oh, hell no, man!"

700
00:35:00,320 --> 00:35:01,800
"Giving me five rupees back?"

701
00:35:02,440 --> 00:35:04,800
"Please keep it.
Buy a ticket to Disneyland with it."

702
00:35:06,360 --> 00:35:09,440
"And if there's anything left,
save it for your daughter's

703
00:35:09,520 --> 00:35:10,720
wedding."

704
00:35:10,800 --> 00:35:12,920
He practically fell at my feet,
"You're too generous, sir!"

705
00:35:14,920 --> 00:35:16,400
I rode here on his shoulders, you know.

706
00:35:18,720 --> 00:35:20,280
Dad goes, "No respect for five rupees."

707
00:35:20,360 --> 00:35:22,320
"Always wasting money."
Wasting money?

708
00:35:22,920 --> 00:35:25,000
That's wasting money?
That's a huge word for five rupees.

709
00:35:28,160 --> 00:35:30,840
Then came the lecture again.
"We walked to school on barbed wire."

710
00:35:32,720 --> 00:35:34,280
"Crossed rivers of acid."

711
00:35:35,360 --> 00:35:37,480
"And I bought
you 13,000-rupee skates."

712
00:35:42,040 --> 00:35:46,320
Early the next morning, we reached Delhi.

713
00:35:46,400 --> 00:35:49,080
It was around 6:30. He said,
"Come on. I'll buy you breakfast."

714
00:35:49,160 --> 00:35:51,440
I thought, nice. The man's feeding me.
He's a good man.

715
00:35:52,440 --> 00:35:54,840
We're walking. I'm a few steps ahead.
He calls from behind,

716
00:35:56,320 --> 00:35:57,400
I asked, "What happened, Dad?"

717
00:35:58,000 --> 00:35:59,440
He goes, "The way you walk…"

718
00:36:03,760 --> 00:36:05,040
He gave me feedback on walking.

719
00:36:05,920 --> 00:36:07,560
Apparently I was walking wrong.

720
00:36:08,400 --> 00:36:10,680
You mean I'm not putting
one foot after another correctly.

721
00:36:11,360 --> 00:36:12,360
Wow. Really, wow.

722
00:36:12,440 --> 00:36:15,080
Was I walking like this? Like this?

723
00:36:15,160 --> 00:36:16,400
Or like this?

724
00:36:18,280 --> 00:36:20,120
I wanted to have breakfast,
so I ignored it.

725
00:36:20,200 --> 00:36:21,760
Figured let him say whatever he wants.

726
00:36:21,840 --> 00:36:23,760
Let's ignore him. Why say anything?

727
00:36:23,840 --> 00:36:25,880
I quietly ate my breakfast.
Then I noticed,

728
00:36:26,640 --> 00:36:29,120
he had a bite in his hand
and he was just staring at me.

729
00:36:30,440 --> 00:36:31,720
That's when I knew.

730
00:36:33,000 --> 00:36:34,400
I'd messed up chewing the food.

731
00:36:36,480 --> 00:36:38,800
A man who gives feedback over walking
will definitely give feedback on chewing.

732
00:36:41,480 --> 00:36:43,400
So I started chewing thirty-two times.

733
00:36:44,800 --> 00:36:46,120
One chew for every tooth.

734
00:36:48,200 --> 00:36:50,400
I again noticed that this man

735
00:36:50,480 --> 00:36:52,520
is not eating and just staring at me.

736
00:36:52,600 --> 00:36:54,360
I started getting nervous
thinking he might slap me.

737
00:36:55,360 --> 00:36:56,640
So I finally asked,

738
00:36:56,720 --> 00:36:58,560
"What happened, Dad?
Why aren't you eating?"

739
00:36:58,640 --> 00:37:00,520
You know what he said?
"Nothing, son."

740
00:37:00,600 --> 00:37:03,200
"Watching you eat feels like I am eating."

741
00:37:06,560 --> 00:37:07,600
What 'oh'?

742
00:37:09,440 --> 00:37:11,160
Come on, Mom has been saying this
for twenty years.

743
00:37:13,400 --> 00:37:14,600
So, I said, "Dad,

744
00:37:14,680 --> 00:37:16,880
that's fine, but keep eating
with your hands too."

745
00:37:20,880 --> 00:37:21,840
Was I wrong?

746
00:37:22,360 --> 00:37:23,760
I mean, watching me eat
fills your stomach,

747
00:37:23,840 --> 00:37:25,360
but keep feeding yourself too.

748
00:37:25,440 --> 00:37:27,080
You know, prayer does help in healing

749
00:37:27,160 --> 00:37:28,600
but you still have to take your medicine.

750
00:37:29,280 --> 00:37:30,320
Right?

751
00:37:31,040 --> 00:37:33,240
He said, "I am eating. You eat. Just eat."
So I did.

752
00:37:33,800 --> 00:37:35,320
I kept eating.

753
00:37:35,400 --> 00:37:37,920
When I looked up,
I saw Dad was wiping away tears.

754
00:37:39,880 --> 00:37:41,920
I'd never seen him cry before.

755
00:37:42,880 --> 00:37:44,240
Dads don't cry.

756
00:37:44,320 --> 00:37:45,680
Dads look right standing tall,

757
00:37:45,760 --> 00:37:47,720
scolding you, keeping you in line.

758
00:37:48,360 --> 00:37:49,960
A great man isn't one
who holds his head high.

759
00:37:50,040 --> 00:37:51,160
A great man is someone

760
00:37:51,240 --> 00:37:54,200
who makes his father walk with pride.
That's a great man.

761
00:38:02,760 --> 00:38:05,360
The first time
you see someone you love cry,

762
00:38:05,440 --> 00:38:07,080
you feel like setting the world on fire.

763
00:38:08,400 --> 00:38:10,200
If a stranger cries, what's it to me?

764
00:38:16,040 --> 00:38:17,960
If it were my mom crying,

765
00:38:19,040 --> 00:38:20,400
that'd be different.

766
00:38:21,640 --> 00:38:24,080
But folks, basic human courtesy demands

767
00:38:25,400 --> 00:38:27,000
that if someone's crying
right in front of you…

768
00:38:29,240 --> 00:38:31,800
So out of basic human decency, I asked,

769
00:38:32,760 --> 00:38:33,920
"What happened?"

770
00:38:35,440 --> 00:38:36,680
He said, "Nothing, son."

771
00:38:37,200 --> 00:38:38,280
"Just that

772
00:38:39,240 --> 00:38:41,960
I remembered something your mom
and I were talking the other day."

773
00:38:42,560 --> 00:38:44,520
I asked, "About what?"

774
00:38:44,600 --> 00:38:46,720
"About how you are not coming back home."

775
00:38:50,200 --> 00:38:51,760
I said, "No, I will come back."

776
00:38:53,160 --> 00:38:55,560
He smiled. "Everyone thinks
that they'll come back."

777
00:38:56,440 --> 00:38:57,800
"But once you leave home,

778
00:38:57,880 --> 00:38:59,520
coming back isn't that easy."

779
00:38:59,600 --> 00:39:01,480
"This is the nature of a displacement.

780
00:39:01,560 --> 00:39:04,000
"At first, you can't come back
because you can't afford to."

781
00:39:04,080 --> 00:39:07,880
"And by the time you can,
all the doors leading back are closed."

782
00:39:07,960 --> 00:39:09,920
I said, "But Dad, I'm just studying."

783
00:39:11,320 --> 00:39:13,280
"After a while, I'll try to come home
every weekend."

784
00:39:13,880 --> 00:39:15,000
"Then after that,

785
00:39:15,080 --> 00:39:16,200
then comes the job."

786
00:39:16,920 --> 00:39:18,200
"And then

787
00:39:18,280 --> 00:39:20,040
Life gets busier."

788
00:39:20,880 --> 00:39:22,400
"The number of days you visit decrease."

789
00:39:22,480 --> 00:39:23,920
"Then you'll only come for festivals."

790
00:39:25,240 --> 00:39:26,720
"After a while, not even for those."

791
00:39:27,920 --> 00:39:29,880
"You'll build a life in the big city."

792
00:39:29,960 --> 00:39:32,360
"And we'll grow old, waiting for you,
in the small town."

793
00:39:32,440 --> 00:39:33,640
"Our lives will become,

794
00:39:33,720 --> 00:39:35,760
'He came this Diwali.'
'He couldn't make it this year.'"

795
00:39:35,840 --> 00:39:37,440
"'He came for Eid.'
'He couldn't this time.'"

796
00:39:37,520 --> 00:39:38,760
"'Maybe he'll stay longer.'"

797
00:39:38,840 --> 00:39:40,880
"'This time he's leaving too soon.'
'This time he's not coming at all.'"

798
00:39:41,840 --> 00:39:43,440
"And one day, we'll die waiting."

799
00:39:44,200 --> 00:39:45,560
"That's life, son."

800
00:39:45,640 --> 00:39:47,520
"I couldn't stay with my parents either."

801
00:39:47,600 --> 00:39:48,640
"That's what people do."

802
00:39:49,400 --> 00:39:52,000
"We like to believe
that we've raised you in a way

803
00:39:52,080 --> 00:39:53,320
that you can stand on your own."

804
00:39:54,360 --> 00:39:56,240
"When you are home,
a lot of things get done for you."

805
00:39:56,880 --> 00:39:59,880
"Visiting a city and living there,
are two very different things."

806
00:40:00,440 --> 00:40:03,520
"When you're home, if you have
to leave early, we're awake all night."

807
00:40:05,480 --> 00:40:07,560
"If you didn't like one thing,
your mom would cook four more."

808
00:40:08,760 --> 00:40:10,720
"From tomorrow, no one will
be here to check on you."

809
00:40:11,720 --> 00:40:13,160
"It'll just be you and the world."

810
00:40:13,760 --> 00:40:15,360
"And the world isn't kind."

811
00:40:15,440 --> 00:40:17,520
And then my dad broke down.

812
00:40:18,080 --> 00:40:19,400
Tears welled up in his eyes.

813
00:40:19,480 --> 00:40:21,880
And honestly, I was enjoying this.

814
00:40:30,960 --> 00:40:34,360
I was laughing
not because he was crying.

815
00:40:34,440 --> 00:40:37,680
But because all the emotional things
he was saying

816
00:40:37,760 --> 00:40:39,400
sounded like features to me.

817
00:40:41,200 --> 00:40:42,440
I mean, what are you saying?

818
00:40:43,200 --> 00:40:44,560
No one is going to pester me anymore.

819
00:40:46,440 --> 00:40:50,040
So, I can wake up if I want or sleep in?

820
00:40:50,120 --> 00:40:52,960
I can go out if I want,
or choose to stay at home.

821
00:40:54,280 --> 00:40:55,680
Sounds pretty good.

822
00:40:57,360 --> 00:40:58,680
We reached the institute.

823
00:40:59,800 --> 00:41:03,840
The first time I met the receptionist,
I had even asked her age.

824
00:41:05,240 --> 00:41:07,240
No matter how bad life gets,

825
00:41:07,320 --> 00:41:08,800
the procedure needs to be followed.

826
00:41:09,600 --> 00:41:11,120
A process is a process is a…

827
00:41:11,200 --> 00:41:13,560
-Process.
-Girls in the house, give me a cheer.

828
00:41:15,160 --> 00:41:16,520
Let me tell you something.

829
00:41:16,600 --> 00:41:18,800
There's a guy who has a crush on you.
Perfectly harmless.

830
00:41:19,320 --> 00:41:21,160
Way below your league.

831
00:41:21,240 --> 00:41:22,600
You'd never date him.

832
00:41:23,480 --> 00:41:24,600
Okay?

833
00:41:24,680 --> 00:41:26,560
But the moment his parents show up,

834
00:41:27,640 --> 00:41:29,840
why do you start acting
like a perfect daughter-in-law?

835
00:41:34,320 --> 00:41:37,080
The receptionist put on such a show
in front of my dad.

836
00:41:37,160 --> 00:41:39,040
The only thing she didn't do
was cover her head.

837
00:41:39,640 --> 00:41:42,240
She was one step away from touching
his feet and receiving a gift.

838
00:41:42,320 --> 00:41:44,680
"Uncle, don't worry.
We'll take great care of Zakir."

839
00:41:44,760 --> 00:41:47,040
"Don't worry, Uncle.
We'll look after him."

840
00:41:47,120 --> 00:41:49,800
My dad had caught my love letters
at the age of twelve.

841
00:41:50,960 --> 00:41:52,720
He knew exactly what kind of guy I was.

842
00:41:53,680 --> 00:41:55,600
He said, "Dear, don't take
too much care of him."

843
00:41:56,640 --> 00:41:58,320
"Or he'll start taking care of you."

844
00:41:59,280 --> 00:42:00,840
"That won't end well for you."

845
00:42:01,560 --> 00:42:04,400
This is why I didn't want to bring him.
He says things like this in public.

846
00:42:05,400 --> 00:42:07,520
Then he gave his phone number
to the landlord,

847
00:42:07,600 --> 00:42:08,880
to the caretaker,

848
00:42:08,960 --> 00:42:10,240
the guy who got me the room.

849
00:42:10,320 --> 00:42:11,760
Not only this, he gave his number

850
00:42:11,840 --> 00:42:13,400
to the water supplier, to the ironing guy.

851
00:42:14,200 --> 00:42:16,240
Good thing, his train was at 10:00
and it was already 5:00.

852
00:42:24,200 --> 00:42:27,200
I said, "Dad, it's already 5:00.
It's getting late."

853
00:42:28,640 --> 00:42:30,160
We rushed to the station.

854
00:42:32,360 --> 00:42:33,840
The moment we got there, he said,

855
00:42:33,920 --> 00:42:35,320
"Come here. I want to show you something."

856
00:42:35,400 --> 00:42:36,720
He walked to the water stall.

857
00:42:40,040 --> 00:42:42,360
He said to the vendor, "One bottle."
He gave the bottle.

858
00:42:42,440 --> 00:42:43,840
Dad asked, "How much?",
the vendor said, "20 rupees."

859
00:42:43,920 --> 00:42:45,760
Dad goes, "But the MRP is 15."

860
00:42:45,840 --> 00:42:49,360
The vendor snatched it right back.

861
00:42:50,440 --> 00:42:54,040
He says, "Sir, that's the price.
Take it or leave it."

862
00:42:55,320 --> 00:42:59,160
I tell you. I've never felt
this amazing level of satisfaction.

863
00:42:59,240 --> 00:43:01,880
I had never experienced it, guys.

864
00:43:03,560 --> 00:43:06,640
Peak satisfaction.
That day I finally knew what it felt like.

865
00:43:06,720 --> 00:43:07,880
It was awesome.

866
00:43:10,120 --> 00:43:12,360
He got on the train.
I thought, once he leaves, I will be free.

867
00:43:12,960 --> 00:43:15,000
Just as the train was about to leave,
he said, "Zakir,

868
00:43:15,080 --> 00:43:16,920
don't stick your hands or feet outside."

869
00:43:17,520 --> 00:43:19,680
I said, "Dad, you're the one on the train.
You follow this advice."

870
00:43:21,200 --> 00:43:23,800
"Don't share rickshaw with two strangers.
Share only if there's one."

871
00:43:23,880 --> 00:43:26,120
This was before Ola and Uber.

872
00:43:26,200 --> 00:43:27,280
I was like, "Yeah, I know, Dad."

873
00:43:27,360 --> 00:43:29,600
He thought I was Gangadhar,
but I'm Shaktimaan. I'll manage.

874
00:43:32,280 --> 00:43:34,160
Then he said, "One more thing."

875
00:43:34,240 --> 00:43:36,360
"It's a new city now.
It's not your home anymore."

876
00:43:36,440 --> 00:43:38,840
"Learn to be cautious.
Staying humble won't kill you."

877
00:43:38,920 --> 00:43:40,960
"If someone insults you, let it go.
No need to react."

878
00:43:41,040 --> 00:43:43,160
"Tone down your attitude, okay?"

879
00:43:43,240 --> 00:43:44,200
The train started moving.

880
00:43:44,280 --> 00:43:46,240
So, there should be some closure
to the conversation.

881
00:43:46,320 --> 00:43:47,800
I said, "Don't worry, Dad.
I'll be careful."

882
00:43:48,560 --> 00:43:50,120
Fair enough?

883
00:43:51,360 --> 00:43:54,800
The train picked up speed.
I walked alongside it.

884
00:43:54,880 --> 00:43:57,760
One coach passed. Then another.
I thought let's turn back.

885
00:43:57,840 --> 00:43:58,920
I was just about to turn, guys.

886
00:43:59,000 --> 00:44:02,160
True story. My Dad was hanging halfway
out of the train, shouting,

887
00:44:02,240 --> 00:44:03,200
"Hey!"

888
00:44:04,240 --> 00:44:05,760
"Forget the last thing I said."

889
00:44:07,240 --> 00:44:09,200
"Don't be scared.
Your father's still alive."

890
00:44:12,560 --> 00:44:14,520
"You're a lion's son. Live like one."

891
00:44:21,120 --> 00:44:23,040
When he said this, I said,

892
00:44:23,120 --> 00:44:24,280
"Get back inside."

893
00:44:28,880 --> 00:44:30,080
What an inconsistent fellow.

894
00:44:32,160 --> 00:44:33,840
He confused me all over again.

895
00:44:34,680 --> 00:44:36,720
He'd told me this twice that morning.
Didn't scare me then.

896
00:44:36,800 --> 00:44:37,840
Now it did.

897
00:44:38,720 --> 00:44:39,960
Now I am scared.

898
00:44:40,840 --> 00:44:43,000
Because earlier,
he was standing beside me.

899
00:44:43,080 --> 00:44:44,280
So, I was not that scared.

900
00:44:45,240 --> 00:44:47,000
Now, he was getting farther away.

901
00:44:47,080 --> 00:44:48,440
So that thing was affecting me.

902
00:44:49,600 --> 00:44:51,000
That's the thing about fathers.

903
00:44:51,080 --> 00:44:53,080
You rarely understand their words
while they're beside you.

904
00:44:54,200 --> 00:44:56,320
You understand them after they're gone.

905
00:44:57,680 --> 00:44:59,440
Those who have lost theirs, ask them,

906
00:44:59,520 --> 00:45:01,280
how much shelter
his presence alone gave them.

907
00:45:02,600 --> 00:45:03,920
There's an old saying,
"When your brother dies,

908
00:45:04,000 --> 00:45:04,840
you lose your strength."

909
00:45:04,920 --> 00:45:06,160
"When your father dies,
you lose your roof."

910
00:45:06,920 --> 00:45:09,280
The sun, the rain, the cold, the heat,
all hit you directly.

911
00:45:10,200 --> 00:45:13,120
He may be difficult. He may be cranky.
But just having him around is a shelter.

912
00:45:13,200 --> 00:45:15,440
I stood there watching
that train disappear.

913
00:45:22,360 --> 00:45:25,560
I couldn't turn away for a long time.
I kept looking at that train for long.

914
00:45:26,560 --> 00:45:28,600
Because I knew, it wasn't
just my father leaving on that train,

915
00:45:28,680 --> 00:45:30,400
my childhood was leaving with him too.

916
00:45:30,480 --> 00:45:32,480
And you know
the worst thing about childhood?

917
00:45:33,120 --> 00:45:34,600
Childhood never dies slowly.

918
00:45:35,240 --> 00:45:38,120
It dies in an instant. Like an accident.

919
00:45:38,200 --> 00:45:40,080
Everyone remembers that moment
when something inside says,

920
00:45:40,160 --> 00:45:41,640
"It's time to grow up."

921
00:45:42,560 --> 00:45:44,840
After that every childish thing you do
feels fake.

922
00:45:44,920 --> 00:45:46,480
Even resting in your mom's lap is fake.

923
00:45:47,120 --> 00:45:48,520
It is just a memory

924
00:45:48,600 --> 00:45:50,400
of how innocent you used to be.

925
00:45:51,240 --> 00:45:54,360
I once wrote,
"I sold my innocence long ago."

926
00:45:55,000 --> 00:45:57,640
"I sold my innocence long ago."

927
00:45:57,720 --> 00:46:00,800
"Now I know,
I sold something that is priceless."

928
00:46:09,600 --> 00:46:12,680
The moment that train left,
everything Dad said started coming true.

929
00:46:13,280 --> 00:46:14,680
That visiting a city

930
00:46:14,760 --> 00:46:16,880
and living there,
are two very different things.

931
00:46:17,760 --> 00:46:19,560
I'd been to Delhi before.

932
00:46:19,640 --> 00:46:22,000
But I'd never experienced
a night that dark.

933
00:46:22,080 --> 00:46:24,480
You understand
what being alone in a crowd means

934
00:46:24,560 --> 00:46:26,360
when you go to a city that isn't home.

935
00:46:27,760 --> 00:46:30,640
But there are two things that can make
any strange city feel like home.

936
00:46:31,320 --> 00:46:32,720
One is friendship.

937
00:46:32,800 --> 00:46:34,000
Right?

938
00:46:34,080 --> 00:46:35,640
And second is hooking up.

939
00:46:41,600 --> 00:46:42,840
A love affair, my dear friends,

940
00:46:42,920 --> 00:46:45,360
can help you settle
even in the toughest place.

941
00:46:45,960 --> 00:46:47,520
If your kids are studying
away from home,

942
00:46:47,600 --> 00:46:48,960
and they seem completely settled…

943
00:46:50,960 --> 00:46:53,480
just know they're really feeling settled.

944
00:46:58,000 --> 00:46:59,240
Guys,

945
00:46:59,320 --> 00:47:00,680
friendship is a beautiful thing.

946
00:47:00,760 --> 00:47:03,520
They say boys don't have a maternal home,
they have friends.

947
00:47:08,760 --> 00:47:10,720
Friendship is such an amazing thing.

948
00:47:10,800 --> 00:47:13,680
No blood relation. No family ties.
Yet they stand by each other.

949
00:47:14,800 --> 00:47:18,080
Everything you do for a friend
is a 100 percent financial loss.

950
00:47:21,920 --> 00:47:22,760
You still do it.

951
00:47:22,840 --> 00:47:24,120
Because if your buddy says
we have to do it…

952
00:47:24,200 --> 00:47:25,640
You've to do it.

953
00:47:25,720 --> 00:47:28,400
That's how, like a blessing,
Vishwas came into my life.

954
00:47:33,320 --> 00:47:36,280
Living with Vishwas was one
of the happiest times of my life.

955
00:47:37,280 --> 00:47:38,960
He was my first roommate.

956
00:47:39,680 --> 00:47:42,480
Boys who've lived with other boys,
give me a cheer.

957
00:47:45,480 --> 00:47:47,320
There's nothing more fun than it.

958
00:47:48,160 --> 00:47:49,960
He wasn't bathing. Neither was I.

959
00:47:50,960 --> 00:47:52,960
He wasn't cleaning. Neither was I.

960
00:47:53,560 --> 00:47:56,240
The trash didn't bother him.
It didn't bother me either.

961
00:47:56,920 --> 00:47:59,160
We lived like rich kids,
but without money.

962
00:48:00,160 --> 00:48:02,840
It started with just the two of us.
Then more and more guys moved in.

963
00:48:04,080 --> 00:48:07,360
At one point, there were eleven,
sometimes twelve of us in that room.

964
00:48:07,440 --> 00:48:08,840
I didn't even know who they were.

965
00:48:10,200 --> 00:48:12,200
Every morning, I'd wake up and find
six people sleeping on the floor.

966
00:48:12,280 --> 00:48:14,120
I'd be like,
"Who the hell are these guys?"

967
00:48:16,080 --> 00:48:17,680
Our room would be filthy.

968
00:48:17,760 --> 00:48:20,000
Still more guys kept moving in.

969
00:48:20,080 --> 00:48:24,280
Vishwas said, "Our room's messy
because boys keep coming over."

970
00:48:24,360 --> 00:48:25,880
"Let's get a flat.
We'll only invite girls,

971
00:48:25,960 --> 00:48:27,080
the place will stay clean."

972
00:48:29,040 --> 00:48:31,360
The place did get cleaner.
But then exactly what I feared happened.

973
00:48:33,200 --> 00:48:34,520
Vishwas got a girlfriend.

974
00:48:36,200 --> 00:48:38,600
Now she was at our place all the time.

975
00:48:39,800 --> 00:48:42,200
Why am I walking around in long pajamas
inside my own house?

976
00:48:42,760 --> 00:48:44,640
I pay rent here too!

977
00:48:45,480 --> 00:48:48,360
Our old room,
people called it Underwear Capital.

978
00:48:49,880 --> 00:48:52,040
Eleven guys,
all lounging around in boxers.

979
00:48:52,800 --> 00:48:53,880
Visitors would walk in

980
00:48:53,960 --> 00:48:55,720
and their pants came off
before their shoes.

981
00:48:57,080 --> 00:48:59,960
They'd throw them aside
and go, "So, any chance of tea?"

982
00:49:00,920 --> 00:49:04,040
That's how comfortable it was.
And here we'd be, "Hello, how are you?"

983
00:49:06,880 --> 00:49:09,280
One day she came over.

984
00:49:09,360 --> 00:49:10,600
So, "Hi, hello."

985
00:49:10,680 --> 00:49:12,080
Now we had never had
any respectable guests.

986
00:49:12,160 --> 00:49:14,040
We had no idea how to be a good host.

987
00:49:14,120 --> 00:49:15,680
So I asked,
"Would you like anything else?"

988
00:49:15,760 --> 00:49:17,880
She said, "I could have some tea."

989
00:49:17,960 --> 00:49:19,360
Now, back then, if you were a bachelor…

990
00:49:19,440 --> 00:49:20,520
Now we have Swiggy, Zomato.

991
00:49:20,600 --> 00:49:23,320
You're a bachelor. What do you do?
Pull out your phone. Right?

992
00:49:23,400 --> 00:49:25,440
You'd say, "Let's just order tea.
It will be here in no time."

993
00:49:25,520 --> 00:49:29,280
But then she goes,
"Oh, no. I don't drink outside tea."

994
00:49:30,040 --> 00:49:31,720
So this is like game over.

995
00:49:32,280 --> 00:49:34,920
It's your first time at our place.
I can't ask you to make tea.

996
00:49:35,880 --> 00:49:37,800
Neither of us knows how to make it.

997
00:49:37,880 --> 00:49:40,440
So, now we are in a bind.
You won't be able to have tea.

998
00:49:40,520 --> 00:49:42,480
I was still thinking, when Vishwas said,

999
00:49:42,560 --> 00:49:44,920
and I saw this miracle with my own eyes,

1000
00:49:46,320 --> 00:49:48,400
"Bro, I feel like making tea."

1001
00:49:51,240 --> 00:49:53,640
I thought, that's what happens
when you get a girlfriend.

1002
00:49:57,080 --> 00:49:59,120
For the next six months,
every time a guest came over,

1003
00:49:59,680 --> 00:50:00,840
I'd ask, "Bro, want some tea?"

1004
00:50:01,800 --> 00:50:04,160
"This idiot loves making it."

1005
00:50:13,280 --> 00:50:15,960
Life was good. Sometimes I'd call home.
Sometimes I wouldn't.

1006
00:50:16,040 --> 00:50:18,800
Slowly, those calls got fewer.
You become independent.

1007
00:50:18,880 --> 00:50:21,480
Your conversations turn
into "Yeah. Okay. Fine."

1008
00:50:22,080 --> 00:50:24,600
And you never call your dad.
You call your mom.

1009
00:50:25,720 --> 00:50:27,840
Because their behavior doesn't
deserve a call.

1010
00:50:28,920 --> 00:50:31,400
While you're talking to Mom,
Dad's yelling nonsense in the background.

1011
00:50:31,480 --> 00:50:34,440
"Ask him if he's short on money
for his leisurely activities."

1012
00:50:36,240 --> 00:50:38,280
"We'll send some.
We have an ATM over there."

1013
00:50:38,360 --> 00:50:40,640
"Call and get money. Call and get money."

1014
00:50:40,720 --> 00:50:43,040
And Mom, his number-one supporter,

1015
00:50:43,640 --> 00:50:46,440
translates everything,
even though I heard every single word.

1016
00:50:46,520 --> 00:50:49,440
"Your dad says
don't hesitate if you need anything."

1017
00:50:50,360 --> 00:50:51,960
I'd be like, what a couple.

1018
00:50:54,800 --> 00:50:57,200
It was a Monday in June 2015.

1019
00:50:57,280 --> 00:50:58,600
I was working at an agency.

1020
00:50:58,680 --> 00:51:01,680
It was an ad agency.

1021
00:51:01,760 --> 00:51:03,920
This was before joining AIB.

1022
00:51:04,800 --> 00:51:07,080
We were writing
a huge Father's Day campaign.

1023
00:51:07,160 --> 00:51:08,760
I was one of the writers there.

1024
00:51:08,840 --> 00:51:10,680
They hired a bunch of writers.

1025
00:51:10,760 --> 00:51:12,720
And one senior writer had come
from Mumbai.

1026
00:51:12,800 --> 00:51:14,400
She was leading the project.

1027
00:51:14,480 --> 00:51:15,640
She was the head writer.

1028
00:51:15,720 --> 00:51:17,400
Everyone had to write a script.

1029
00:51:17,480 --> 00:51:19,360
That same day
it was Vishwas's girlfriend's birthday.

1030
00:51:19,440 --> 00:51:20,880
The party was at her house. Okay?

1031
00:51:20,960 --> 00:51:22,120
He was busy getting things ready.

1032
00:51:22,200 --> 00:51:24,040
I had to take my girlfriend there too.

1033
00:51:24,120 --> 00:51:25,800
On Monday, I got to the office.

1034
00:51:25,880 --> 00:51:27,240
Just then Kuntal texted me.

1035
00:51:27,800 --> 00:51:29,760
"I'm in Delhi. Come meet me."

1036
00:51:29,840 --> 00:51:31,840
You must have boarded the flight,

1037
00:51:31,920 --> 00:51:33,680
you must've booked the flight.
Could've told me before.

1038
00:51:33,760 --> 00:51:36,200
You can't just show up
and expect me to come.

1039
00:51:36,960 --> 00:51:39,320
I said, "Meet me at the party tonight."

1040
00:51:39,400 --> 00:51:40,800
He says, "Party? What party?"

1041
00:51:41,600 --> 00:51:44,160
I said, "Vishwas's girlfriend's birthday.
Come with us."

1042
00:51:44,240 --> 00:51:45,560
He goes, "Will there be girls?"

1043
00:51:46,920 --> 00:51:48,760
I said, "Yeah."
He goes, "Are they beautiful?"

1044
00:51:49,520 --> 00:51:52,320
I said,
"Beauty's in the eye of the beholder."

1045
00:51:53,040 --> 00:51:54,440
He goes, "Don't give me that nonsense."

1046
00:51:56,360 --> 00:51:58,720
"I'll talk to Vishwas."
I said, "Do whatever you want."

1047
00:52:01,800 --> 00:52:03,560
The seminar starts.

1048
00:52:04,280 --> 00:52:05,720
Father's Day…

1049
00:52:07,960 --> 00:52:10,080
The senior writer says,
"Who wrote Script 22?"

1050
00:52:11,360 --> 00:52:12,560
I said, "Ma'am, I did."

1051
00:52:13,400 --> 00:52:15,160
She says, "Mr. Khan,

1052
00:52:15,880 --> 00:52:17,560
you've written only jokes."

1053
00:52:20,160 --> 00:52:21,640
"There's no emotion in the script."

1054
00:52:22,320 --> 00:52:24,040
I said, "I just wrote what I felt."

1055
00:52:28,360 --> 00:52:30,600
She asked, "How's your relationship
with your father?"

1056
00:52:31,560 --> 00:52:33,040
I said, "Ma'am, it's normal."

1057
00:52:34,040 --> 00:52:35,320
She asked, "What does 'normal' mean?"

1058
00:52:35,400 --> 00:52:36,880
I said, "Like every other guy."

1059
00:52:38,040 --> 00:52:39,600
She asked, "And what's that like?"

1060
00:52:39,680 --> 00:52:41,800
I said, "They are terrible."

1061
00:52:44,280 --> 00:52:45,600
She goes, "Very funny. Shut up."

1062
00:52:47,040 --> 00:52:49,000
"Tell me something.
Have you ever hugged your father?"

1063
00:52:49,080 --> 00:52:50,160
"Like, with love?"

1064
00:52:50,240 --> 00:52:52,760
I said, "Ma'am, is it
like an interview for me

1065
00:52:52,840 --> 00:52:54,400
or it's like for everybody?"

1066
00:52:54,480 --> 00:52:56,720
She said, "No.
It's just about men specifically."

1067
00:52:56,800 --> 00:52:59,240
"Men have a very strange relationship
with their fathers."

1068
00:52:59,320 --> 00:53:01,400
"Actually, all the guys answer this.
Boys, tell me."

1069
00:53:01,480 --> 00:53:02,560
"Have you ever hugged your dad?"

1070
00:53:02,640 --> 00:53:04,320
There were nine guys in that room.

1071
00:53:04,400 --> 00:53:07,560
Believe it or not, I was the only one
who said, "I've hugged my father."

1072
00:53:08,560 --> 00:53:10,240
She said, "But you said
your relationship isn't great."

1073
00:53:10,320 --> 00:53:12,240
I said, "I do it every year. Twice."

1074
00:53:19,640 --> 00:53:20,880
She said, "Twice? What's the logic?"

1075
00:53:20,960 --> 00:53:23,160
I said, "Ma'am, I hug him on Eid
and again on Bakri Eid."

1076
00:53:24,280 --> 00:53:26,600
She said, "Besides that?"
I said, "Nope."

1077
00:53:28,360 --> 00:53:29,440
Then she said, "Okay, tell me."

1078
00:53:29,520 --> 00:53:31,760
By now, I was getting nervous.
So I picked up my water bottle.

1079
00:53:31,840 --> 00:53:34,040
She said, "Have you ever told your father

1080
00:53:34,720 --> 00:53:35,720
'I love you'?"

1081
00:53:36,520 --> 00:53:37,680
I literally spat out the water.

1082
00:53:40,480 --> 00:53:42,480
I said, "Ma'am, he's my dad,
not my girlfriend."

1083
00:53:44,160 --> 00:53:47,440
What next? You want me to ask
if my beloved has had dinner or not?

1084
00:53:53,000 --> 00:53:54,160
She goes, "Shut up!"

1085
00:53:55,160 --> 00:53:56,680
Then she said, "All the guys, tell me."

1086
00:53:56,760 --> 00:53:58,880
"Have you ever said 'Thank you'
to your father?"

1087
00:53:58,960 --> 00:54:00,880
One of the guys,
he's still one of my closest friends.

1088
00:54:00,960 --> 00:54:02,400
He totally matched my vibe that day.

1089
00:54:03,480 --> 00:54:04,760
He said, "But why?"

1090
00:54:06,520 --> 00:54:07,840
I was like, he's the guy.

1091
00:54:07,920 --> 00:54:09,200
He's the guy. He's the guy.

1092
00:54:09,960 --> 00:54:11,600
She completely lost it.

1093
00:54:11,680 --> 00:54:12,880
"All the guys go outside."

1094
00:54:12,960 --> 00:54:16,040
"Go outside, call your fathers
and say thank you."

1095
00:54:16,120 --> 00:54:18,480
Guys, who calls their dad?

1096
00:54:19,960 --> 00:54:22,120
You call your mom.

1097
00:54:22,680 --> 00:54:24,960
You only call your Dad
when Mom isn't answering.

1098
00:54:25,720 --> 00:54:27,720
And even then, you just ask,
"Where's Mom?"

1099
00:54:30,160 --> 00:54:31,600
That's the entire communication.

1100
00:54:31,680 --> 00:54:34,520
"Dad, is Mom there?
No? Okay, I'll call later."

1101
00:54:36,800 --> 00:54:39,080
So I called my dad.

1102
00:54:39,160 --> 00:54:41,120
Out of nine guys,
eight dads didn't even answer.

1103
00:54:42,800 --> 00:54:44,400
At least mine picked up.

1104
00:54:45,400 --> 00:54:47,600
After declining the call twice,
he answered the third time, "Hello?"

1105
00:54:47,680 --> 00:54:49,200
I greeted, "Assalamu Alaikum, Dad."

1106
00:54:49,280 --> 00:54:52,200
You must greet your parents properly.

1107
00:54:52,280 --> 00:54:54,480
First we greet them.
We don't just say, "Hello."

1108
00:54:54,560 --> 00:54:56,800
I said, "Assalamu Alaikum, Dad."
He said, "Walaikum Assalam."

1109
00:54:56,880 --> 00:54:58,320
"Should I call you back in 5 minutes?"

1110
00:54:59,200 --> 00:55:00,720
I said, "What? Why?"

1111
00:55:00,800 --> 00:55:02,320
He goes, "Your mom's not home."

1112
00:55:04,640 --> 00:55:06,120
I asked, "Where is she?"

1113
00:55:07,760 --> 00:55:09,320
He snickered,
"She's gone to a Kitty party."

1114
00:55:10,560 --> 00:55:12,160
"If their kitty party ever
holds elections,

1115
00:55:12,240 --> 00:55:14,240
your mom will become the Prime Minister."

1116
00:55:17,800 --> 00:55:19,280
If parents are complaining
about each other,

1117
00:55:19,360 --> 00:55:20,600
the world is functioning normally.

1118
00:55:21,480 --> 00:55:23,960
I said, "Okay, okay.
Dad, actually I wanted to talk to you."

1119
00:55:24,040 --> 00:55:24,920
"Oh?"

1120
00:55:28,880 --> 00:55:30,160
"How much money do you need?"

1121
00:55:32,280 --> 00:55:34,280
I said, "I don't need money.
I just wanted to talk."

1122
00:55:35,080 --> 00:55:36,280
Dad goes, "What happened?"

1123
00:55:37,000 --> 00:55:38,720
I said, "Nothing.
I just wanted to talk to you."

1124
00:55:38,800 --> 00:55:40,040
He goes, "Did you have an accident?"

1125
00:55:41,480 --> 00:55:43,280
"I told you not to buy
that secondhand car."

1126
00:55:43,360 --> 00:55:44,320
"You bought that junk anyway."

1127
00:55:44,400 --> 00:55:46,600
"I've had bad dreams for two days.
I knew something was wrong."

1128
00:55:46,680 --> 00:55:47,920
"You ignorant, shameless boy!"

1129
00:55:48,000 --> 00:55:49,920
"You bothered us here,
now you're bothering us from there too?"

1130
00:55:51,520 --> 00:55:52,680
Huh?

1131
00:55:53,880 --> 00:55:55,040
How did we end up here?

1132
00:55:56,040 --> 00:55:58,120
I said I just wanted to talk.
How did I suddenly have an accident?

1133
00:55:59,280 --> 00:56:00,880
"Are you hurt? Are you hurt?"

1134
00:56:00,960 --> 00:56:02,120
"Are you hurt?"

1135
00:56:02,200 --> 00:56:03,920
I said, "No, Dad. I'm fine."

1136
00:56:04,000 --> 00:56:05,520
He goes, "Did the other guy die?"

1137
00:56:11,720 --> 00:56:13,440
Right then the senior writer walked in.

1138
00:56:13,520 --> 00:56:16,080
Nobody's dad picked up their calls.
So now she started motivating me.

1139
00:56:16,160 --> 00:56:17,280
"Go on. Say it."

1140
00:56:18,760 --> 00:56:20,760
Say what? The topic had changed.

1141
00:56:22,200 --> 00:56:24,080
Somebody has died now.

1142
00:56:35,880 --> 00:56:37,280
She said, "Go on, say it."

1143
00:56:37,360 --> 00:56:38,680
I said "I will."

1144
00:56:39,520 --> 00:56:40,640
I said, "No, Dad."

1145
00:56:42,200 --> 00:56:43,680
He goes, "Are you at the police station?"

1146
00:56:45,120 --> 00:56:47,360
"Listen. I'm sending
you Lawyer Uncle's number. Don't panic."

1147
00:56:47,440 --> 00:56:49,920
"Don't tell the police anything.
Do exactly what I tell you."

1148
00:56:50,000 --> 00:56:51,960
I said, "Dad, nothing has happened."
He yelled, "Then what happened?"

1149
00:56:53,080 --> 00:56:54,800
The senior writer again, "Say it. Say it."

1150
00:56:55,480 --> 00:56:57,040
I said I am saying it.

1151
00:56:57,760 --> 00:56:59,920
Come on, tell me.
Does it feel like a "thank you" moment?

1152
00:57:01,000 --> 00:57:02,440
Is it really a "thank you" moment?

1153
00:57:03,800 --> 00:57:05,040
I finally said, "Dad,

1154
00:57:05,640 --> 00:57:07,320
I just wanted to say thank you.
Thank you, Dad."

1155
00:57:07,840 --> 00:57:09,200
"Thank you, Dad. Thank you."

1156
00:57:10,440 --> 00:57:12,080
She goes, "What did he say?"

1157
00:57:12,160 --> 00:57:13,360
"He didn't say anything."

1158
00:57:14,240 --> 00:57:15,400
She whispered, "Ask him."

1159
00:57:15,480 --> 00:57:16,640
I said, "Hello?"

1160
00:57:21,800 --> 00:57:22,960
Dad goes, "So, what?"

1161
00:57:23,880 --> 00:57:26,560
What "So what?" There's nothing left!

1162
00:57:33,280 --> 00:57:35,600
Does this man look like
the "thank you" type?

1163
00:57:38,560 --> 00:57:39,840
I ignored him.

1164
00:57:39,920 --> 00:57:41,640
By then,
Kuntal's four voice notes popped up.

1165
00:57:41,720 --> 00:57:44,200
I figured, he must be telling me
what time he's getting there.

1166
00:57:44,280 --> 00:57:46,320
So I played one on speaker,
without the earphones.

1167
00:57:47,160 --> 00:57:48,560
It started with, "You bitch,

1168
00:57:50,280 --> 00:57:52,600
I'll get you Bourbon biscuits."

1169
00:57:53,240 --> 00:57:55,480
"Stay with me at the party, you bitch."

1170
00:57:57,280 --> 00:57:58,680
Now everyone in the class is judging me.

1171
00:57:58,760 --> 00:58:01,240
I don't have a single decent friend
whose voice notes can be played publicly.

1172
00:58:02,520 --> 00:58:04,280
I panicked and turned my phone off.

1173
00:58:08,040 --> 00:58:10,080
We spent another five or six hours
in the workshop.

1174
00:58:10,160 --> 00:58:11,840
Then I came out, got into the car.

1175
00:58:11,920 --> 00:58:13,200
I switched my phone back on.

1176
00:58:13,280 --> 00:58:14,760
Something had definitely happened.

1177
00:58:14,840 --> 00:58:16,600
Nothing happens in my life for years.

1178
00:58:16,680 --> 00:58:17,960
Then everything happens in one day.

1179
00:58:20,800 --> 00:58:22,000
Nine missed calls from Dad.

1180
00:58:22,640 --> 00:58:24,160
Three from Mom.

1181
00:58:24,240 --> 00:58:26,440
Six from my girlfriend.
Eleven from my building's security guard.

1182
00:58:26,520 --> 00:58:27,680
Three from Vishwas.

1183
00:58:27,760 --> 00:58:29,360
Two from Kuntal.
Something was definitely wrong.

1184
00:58:29,960 --> 00:58:31,520
The missed-call alerts just kept coming.

1185
00:58:33,040 --> 00:58:35,360
First thing, I called Dad.
Of course his phone was out of reach.

1186
00:58:36,040 --> 00:58:37,760
I called Mom. She was at her kitty party.

1187
00:58:38,320 --> 00:58:40,880
She goes, "Hello, son. Had lunch?
Make sure you eat."

1188
00:58:42,520 --> 00:58:43,720
I said, "Where are you?"

1189
00:58:43,800 --> 00:58:45,600
She goes, "I'm at kitty. And I'm winning!"

1190
00:58:47,000 --> 00:58:47,960
I asked, "Where's Dad?"

1191
00:58:48,040 --> 00:58:49,640
She said, "Oh, he's probably at home.
Grumpy as ever."

1192
00:58:51,360 --> 00:58:53,520
"Good thing you got out."

1193
00:58:53,600 --> 00:58:54,640
"Finally got some peace."

1194
00:58:55,320 --> 00:58:57,280
"It's not easy living with that man."

1195
00:58:57,360 --> 00:58:59,560
"My parents married me off,
so I'm making it work."

1196
00:59:00,480 --> 00:59:03,120
"Anyone else would've left by now."

1197
00:59:09,280 --> 00:59:10,480
I said, "Yeah, great."

1198
00:59:10,560 --> 00:59:11,720
She goes, "Had lunch?
Don't forget to eat."

1199
00:59:11,800 --> 00:59:13,840
I said, "I will, Mom. Okay, okay, okay."

1200
00:59:14,560 --> 00:59:17,160
She hung up.
Then the building security guard called.

1201
00:59:18,080 --> 00:59:20,160
He says, "Sir, there's a man downstairs."

1202
00:59:22,520 --> 00:59:23,760
"He says

1203
00:59:25,240 --> 00:59:26,080
he's your father."

1204
00:59:28,520 --> 00:59:30,240
"I tried calling you,
but your phone was off."

1205
00:59:30,320 --> 00:59:31,720
"Vishwas didn't answer either,

1206
00:59:31,800 --> 00:59:33,120
so I called your girlfriend."

1207
00:59:34,600 --> 00:59:36,480
I said, "Chandraprakash, you idiot!"

1208
00:59:37,760 --> 00:59:39,720
"If a man says he's my father,

1209
00:59:40,640 --> 00:59:42,800
how dare you call my girlfriend
in front of him?"

1210
00:59:43,800 --> 00:59:44,760
He went…

1211
00:59:46,440 --> 00:59:48,720
"Sir, I'm not that dumb."

1212
00:59:48,800 --> 00:59:50,720
"I stepped aside before I called."

1213
00:59:50,800 --> 00:59:52,120
"Of course I stepped aside
before I called her."

1214
00:59:52,200 --> 00:59:54,040
"Didn't send him upstairs,
though I have the apartment keys."

1215
00:59:54,880 --> 00:59:57,120
"I wanted to make sure
her things were not there."

1216
00:59:59,640 --> 01:00:01,480
I said, "Thank you, Mr. Chandraprakash."

1217
01:00:03,360 --> 01:00:05,080
He goes, "Sir, you didn't give me anything
for Holi."

1218
01:00:06,880 --> 01:00:09,560
I said, "I'll be right there.
I'll take care of it."

1219
01:00:09,640 --> 01:00:11,000
"Put Dad on."

1220
01:00:11,080 --> 01:00:13,160
Dad goes, "Dear, where are you?
Are you okay? Are you okay?"

1221
01:00:13,240 --> 01:00:15,680
I said, "I'm fine, Dad. Where are you?"
He goes, "You're at the police station?"

1222
01:00:16,600 --> 01:00:17,880
I said,
"Dad, I'm not at the police station."

1223
01:00:17,960 --> 01:00:21,480
"I'm just heading home. I am on the way."

1224
01:00:21,560 --> 01:00:23,120
"Are you okay?
Are you coming in the ambulance?"

1225
01:00:24,880 --> 01:00:26,600
I said, "I'm fine.
Why is your phone switched off?"

1226
01:00:26,680 --> 01:00:28,040
He said, "My phone died, dear."

1227
01:00:28,640 --> 01:00:30,720
I said, "Okay. I'm on my way.
Stay right there."

1228
01:00:30,800 --> 01:00:31,920
He said, "You okay?" I said, "I'm fine."

1229
01:00:32,560 --> 01:00:33,880
Then my girlfriend called.

1230
01:00:34,800 --> 01:00:36,240
"Your dad's downstairs."

1231
01:00:37,640 --> 01:00:39,160
"I'm having palpitations."

1232
01:00:39,240 --> 01:00:41,600
"I'm freaking out. I'm getting anxious.
I'm getting rashes."

1233
01:00:43,480 --> 01:00:44,840
I said, "Listen,

1234
01:00:44,920 --> 01:00:46,040
my dad's here."

1235
01:00:46,640 --> 01:00:47,920
"I'm already stressed."

1236
01:00:48,720 --> 01:00:50,680
"As a partner, if you can help me,
that'll be great."

1237
01:00:52,280 --> 01:00:53,840
"Just don't add to my problems."

1238
01:00:55,040 --> 01:00:56,560
"Let this be about me this time."

1239
01:00:59,040 --> 01:01:00,400
"Don't make this about you."

1240
01:01:06,200 --> 01:01:08,360
She goes, "Okay, sorry, sorry,
sorry, sorry."

1241
01:01:08,440 --> 01:01:10,000
She hung up.
Two seconds later, she called again.

1242
01:01:10,080 --> 01:01:12,560
She goes, "Listen, I have a plan."

1243
01:01:13,440 --> 01:01:14,520
I said, "Yeah, tell me."

1244
01:01:16,760 --> 01:01:18,320
She goes, "Bring your dad to the party."

1245
01:01:21,400 --> 01:01:24,200
"I'll meet him like a doll
and I'll impress him."

1246
01:01:24,280 --> 01:01:26,160
"Then later, we'll tell him
I'm your girlfriend."

1247
01:01:26,240 --> 01:01:27,680
"What do you think?"

1248
01:01:27,760 --> 01:01:29,680
I said, "He's my dad,
not a deck of cards."

1249
01:01:32,080 --> 01:01:33,600
"I'm not showing him off at parties."

1250
01:01:35,000 --> 01:01:36,720
I said, "I'll handle it. Bye."

1251
01:01:38,480 --> 01:01:42,680
I hung up. Dad was covered in dust.
He had come in slippers.

1252
01:01:42,760 --> 01:01:44,120
He was wearing an Abibas pajama.

1253
01:01:46,400 --> 01:01:48,360
A random shirt on top. Nothing matched.

1254
01:01:49,240 --> 01:01:52,240
He'd boarded a flight to Delhi
wearing his home clothes.

1255
01:01:53,160 --> 01:01:54,880
I said, "Dad, you flew all the way here?"

1256
01:01:54,960 --> 01:01:57,600
He said, "I got worried. You were saying
all kinds of strange things."

1257
01:01:58,680 --> 01:02:00,680
"I didn't even tell your mom
where I was going."

1258
01:02:01,680 --> 01:02:02,840
I said, "Mom answered your call?"

1259
01:02:02,920 --> 01:02:04,000
"That's beside the point."

1260
01:02:09,000 --> 01:02:10,720
I said, "All I said was 'Thank you.'"

1261
01:02:11,760 --> 01:02:13,320
Dad says, "And then you turned
your phone off!"

1262
01:02:14,040 --> 01:02:15,120
I said, "So?"

1263
01:02:15,200 --> 01:02:16,800
He said, "I thought
that 'thank you' was your goodbye."

1264
01:02:23,840 --> 01:02:26,160
"Your generation always keeps
talking about depression."

1265
01:02:27,280 --> 01:02:29,080
"I thought
my 26-year investment was gone."

1266
01:02:31,920 --> 01:02:33,120
What am I, an insurance policy?

1267
01:02:34,600 --> 01:02:36,200
He yelled, "So, why were you calling me?"

1268
01:02:36,280 --> 01:02:39,080
I was like I can't say I only called
because someone asked me to.

1269
01:02:39,160 --> 01:02:41,960
I said, "Dad, I just started
this new job at an ad agency."

1270
01:02:42,480 --> 01:02:45,480
"They're doing something
for Father's Day."

1271
01:02:45,560 --> 01:02:47,720
He taunts, "Oh, yeah,
you celebrate that a lot."

1272
01:02:48,880 --> 01:02:50,440
What kind of tone was that?

1273
01:02:51,360 --> 01:02:54,200
I said, "No, I mean, Dad,
I was writing something about it."

1274
01:02:54,280 --> 01:02:55,680
"My job involves writing."

1275
01:02:55,760 --> 01:03:00,240
"And while I was writing,
I suddenly felt like calling you

1276
01:03:00,320 --> 01:03:01,600
and saying thank you."

1277
01:03:01,680 --> 01:03:02,800
He just went, "Oh."

1278
01:03:04,800 --> 01:03:05,840
"Then say it."

1279
01:03:07,720 --> 01:03:09,200
I said, "I already did on the phone."

1280
01:03:09,280 --> 01:03:10,800
"So now are you shy to say it to my face?"

1281
01:03:11,400 --> 01:03:14,080
"If this were about your mom,
you'd have written nine poems by now."

1282
01:03:14,960 --> 01:03:16,480
"That 'Mom's a flower.'"

1283
01:03:17,160 --> 01:03:19,280
"'Mom's a rose garden.'"

1284
01:03:19,360 --> 01:03:20,640
"And what's Dad? The thorn?"

1285
01:03:22,000 --> 01:03:23,520
I said, "Come on, Dad."

1286
01:03:23,600 --> 01:03:25,320
I said, "Dad…"

1287
01:03:27,320 --> 01:03:29,200
But now, all I can think of is money.

1288
01:03:30,640 --> 01:03:32,680
It made our relationship seem
so transactional.

1289
01:03:34,520 --> 01:03:35,960
I said, "Dad,

1290
01:03:37,040 --> 01:03:40,440
you tried to give me a good education."

1291
01:03:44,000 --> 01:03:45,880
"You tried to make me a…"

1292
01:03:45,960 --> 01:03:47,000
<i>Good person.</i>

1293
01:03:47,520 --> 01:03:48,840
"And I did my…"

1294
01:03:48,920 --> 01:03:50,240
<i>Best too.</i>

1295
01:03:51,640 --> 01:03:53,760
"When I was a kid,

1296
01:03:55,000 --> 01:03:56,280
you bought me toys."

1297
01:03:56,880 --> 01:03:59,680
"Bought me new clothes every festival."

1298
01:04:00,200 --> 01:04:01,800
He cut in, "Those skates cost 23,000."

1299
01:04:05,240 --> 01:04:07,400
I was like, okay, okay. Whatever.

1300
01:04:08,240 --> 01:04:09,960
I said, "That too, Dad."

1301
01:04:10,040 --> 01:04:11,960
Nothing sounded right anymore.

1302
01:04:12,840 --> 01:04:16,280
So I borrowed something
I'd heard earlier at the workshop.

1303
01:04:16,360 --> 01:04:18,680
I said, "The thing is Mom…

1304
01:04:18,760 --> 01:04:19,680
Mom…

1305
01:04:20,520 --> 01:04:23,000
Mom carries you for nine months."

1306
01:04:24,400 --> 01:04:27,040
"You know her before you know the world."

1307
01:04:28,640 --> 01:04:29,520
"But…

1308
01:04:30,520 --> 01:04:33,600
understanding your father takes
a lifetime, Dad."

1309
01:04:34,760 --> 01:04:35,600
"Now that…

1310
01:04:36,560 --> 01:04:38,120
I've grown up,

1311
01:04:38,200 --> 01:04:39,360
lived on my own,

1312
01:04:39,960 --> 01:04:41,640
stood on my own feet…"

1313
01:04:41,720 --> 01:04:42,880
He interrupted, "Are you really?"

1314
01:04:44,640 --> 01:04:47,600
Come on. Seriously?
I can't do this anymore.

1315
01:04:48,200 --> 01:04:52,000
How do you talk to a man
whose tone is always like this?

1316
01:04:52,080 --> 01:04:53,600
How do I communicate with this man?

1317
01:04:54,400 --> 01:04:55,960
I said, "As much as I have."

1318
01:04:56,040 --> 01:04:57,240
He said, "Okay, okay."

1319
01:05:00,200 --> 01:05:01,760
I continued, "Now I finally understand

1320
01:05:01,840 --> 01:05:06,200
how hard you struggled
and faced so many hardships to raise us."

1321
01:05:15,000 --> 01:05:16,360
He nodded. "That's true."

1322
01:05:19,240 --> 01:05:21,520
You know, while bearing life's heat,

1323
01:05:22,240 --> 01:05:23,520
running after responsibilities,

1324
01:05:23,600 --> 01:05:26,080
our fathers become so dry from the inside

1325
01:05:26,160 --> 01:05:29,240
that even a few drops of fake love are
enough to melt them.

1326
01:05:30,880 --> 01:05:31,960
He says to me…

1327
01:05:35,560 --> 01:05:36,680
He says to me,

1328
01:05:37,360 --> 01:05:39,240
"Everyone in the family used to say

1329
01:05:39,320 --> 01:05:41,720
you've spoiled your kids."

1330
01:05:44,200 --> 01:05:46,720
"But I always said I wanted…"

1331
01:05:47,680 --> 01:05:48,880
And it is true in our case.

1332
01:05:50,840 --> 01:05:54,520
"It was my dream
to be friends with my children."

1333
01:05:58,600 --> 01:06:00,000
"I wanted them to be open with me."

1334
01:06:06,160 --> 01:06:07,240
Huh?

1335
01:06:09,200 --> 01:06:11,480
"People said to me Zakir talks back
so much at home."

1336
01:06:12,040 --> 01:06:14,480
"I said, 'If he can't talk back at home,
how will he ever face the world?'"

1337
01:06:19,280 --> 01:06:21,560
The truth is my dad wasn't lying.

1338
01:06:23,040 --> 01:06:26,440
He came from a generation where he never
even looked his own father in the eye.

1339
01:06:27,160 --> 01:06:29,600
It was always, "Yes, Abba. No, Abba."
Nothing more.

1340
01:06:30,480 --> 01:06:32,600
You can't compare your father
to someone else's.

1341
01:06:32,680 --> 01:06:34,280
Not everyone starts from the same place.

1342
01:06:35,040 --> 01:06:37,840
The only real truth is context.
Everything else is a false narrative.

1343
01:06:38,640 --> 01:06:41,280
Your orthodox father has been
the rebel of his generation.

1344
01:06:48,920 --> 01:06:50,720
The life of a mother
and a father is different.

1345
01:06:51,360 --> 01:06:53,080
The way they raise you, take care of you.

1346
01:06:53,640 --> 01:06:54,840
A mother's purpose is simple,

1347
01:06:54,920 --> 01:06:57,240
as long as she's alive
nothing will touch you.

1348
01:06:58,200 --> 01:07:01,200
Under her care, you're safe.
Even God cannot touch you.

1349
01:07:02,440 --> 01:07:04,280
A father lives for the exact opposite.

1350
01:07:05,040 --> 01:07:08,280
Every single day of a father's life is
about preparing you

1351
01:07:08,360 --> 01:07:11,560
to not depend on anyone else
when he is gone.

1352
01:07:19,480 --> 01:07:21,280
That's why living with fathers

1353
01:07:22,520 --> 01:07:24,200
can feel so boring.

1354
01:07:26,440 --> 01:07:30,120
Because when he's alive, he'll tell you
about meter gauge and broad gauge.

1355
01:07:30,200 --> 01:07:32,480
He'll tell about steam engines
and coal engines.

1356
01:07:32,560 --> 01:07:35,040
And also tell you all the lessons
life never taught them.

1357
01:07:37,200 --> 01:07:38,040
Small things.

1358
01:07:38,120 --> 01:07:40,040
A father will give you
every strength he has

1359
01:07:40,120 --> 01:07:41,680
and spend his whole life making sure

1360
01:07:41,760 --> 01:07:43,760
none of his weaknesses are
passed on to you.

1361
01:07:43,840 --> 01:07:47,080
How many of you have fathers
who studied in Hindi-medium schools?

1362
01:07:47,160 --> 01:07:48,320
Right?

1363
01:07:49,200 --> 01:07:52,760
He couldn't afford it, but he still
sent you to an English-medium school.

1364
01:07:53,520 --> 01:07:56,680
Why? Because he thought,
maybe I couldn't speak, but my child will.

1365
01:07:57,840 --> 01:07:59,960
What are you as a human being?

1366
01:08:00,040 --> 01:08:01,120
You're just

1367
01:08:02,440 --> 01:08:05,600
an advanced version
of all your father's regrets.

1368
01:08:05,680 --> 01:08:06,800
Right?

1369
01:08:10,400 --> 01:08:11,680
The finished version.

1370
01:08:13,320 --> 01:08:14,600
A small detail.

1371
01:08:14,680 --> 01:08:16,880
My dad is shy about speaking in a crowd.

1372
01:08:17,600 --> 01:08:20,200
Public speaking is not his forte
and it makes him uncomfortable.

1373
01:08:20,280 --> 01:08:21,399
Okay?

1374
01:08:22,240 --> 01:08:23,720
And yet everything I am today

1375
01:08:23,800 --> 01:08:26,080
is because my dad regrets
not having that confidence.

1376
01:08:26,800 --> 01:08:29,880
So when I was six,
he made me learn languages.

1377
01:08:29,960 --> 01:08:31,840
Made me speak up in front of people.

1378
01:08:31,920 --> 01:08:33,080
Sent me to debates.

1379
01:08:33,160 --> 01:08:37,040
Anything that involved getting on a stage.
Anchoring. Hosting. "No, Zakir can do it."

1380
01:08:37,120 --> 01:08:39,560
"Go. You should do it. Learn. Speak."

1381
01:08:39,640 --> 01:08:42,760
The man who was shy
of speaking in a crowd,

1382
01:08:42,840 --> 01:08:44,560
raised a son

1383
01:08:44,640 --> 01:08:47,040
who, when he speaks,
can cause a jam in Times Square.

1384
01:08:59,160 --> 01:09:01,359
How can I say I did this, it was all me?

1385
01:09:02,880 --> 01:09:05,960
It is not my achievement. It's his.

1386
01:09:06,040 --> 01:09:07,279
He made it possible.

1387
01:09:07,359 --> 01:09:09,399
People love to say, "I'm self-made."

1388
01:09:09,479 --> 01:09:10,840
Self-made? Really?

1389
01:09:11,600 --> 01:09:12,800
Who paid for your education?

1390
01:09:12,880 --> 01:09:13,880
Who paid your school fees?

1391
01:09:13,960 --> 01:09:16,080
Who paid for your graduation?
How did you complete college?

1392
01:09:16,160 --> 01:09:17,520
What guides your moral compass?

1393
01:09:17,600 --> 01:09:18,720
What guides your judgment?

1394
01:09:18,800 --> 01:09:20,240
It all comes from your upbringing.

1395
01:09:20,920 --> 01:09:21,840
No one is self-made.

1396
01:09:21,920 --> 01:09:24,000
Your parents put in a lot of effort
in your upbringing.

1397
01:09:27,680 --> 01:09:30,080
They put everything they had.
Their money, their courage, their wisdom.

1398
01:09:30,160 --> 01:09:31,560
They spent everything on you.

1399
01:09:31,640 --> 01:09:33,520
And if they still fell short, it's okay.

1400
01:09:34,800 --> 01:09:35,840
Your parents did a lot for you.

1401
01:09:35,920 --> 01:09:39,399
These days it's fashionable
to blame parents for everything.

1402
01:09:39,479 --> 01:09:41,560
They didn't do this. They didn't do that.

1403
01:09:42,279 --> 01:09:44,560
I actually think distance helps.

1404
01:09:45,160 --> 01:09:47,920
When you step back,
you start seeing them as people.

1405
01:09:48,000 --> 01:09:50,760
You realize they can make mistakes too.

1406
01:09:50,840 --> 01:09:52,439
They can be wrong too.

1407
01:09:52,520 --> 01:09:54,520
But you don't need to keep punishing them.

1408
01:09:54,600 --> 01:09:57,200
You can forgive them.
You can let these things go.

1409
01:09:57,279 --> 01:09:59,520
Sometimes setting your parents free
sets you free.

1410
01:10:07,040 --> 01:10:08,920
That day, for the first time,
my father hugged me.

1411
01:10:09,000 --> 01:10:10,640
For the first time he said,

1412
01:10:10,720 --> 01:10:12,800
"It felt so good talking to you, Zakir."

1413
01:10:14,080 --> 01:10:15,160
"Come here."

1414
01:10:16,920 --> 01:10:18,480
If you can hug your father,

1415
01:10:18,560 --> 01:10:20,840
you're more fortunate than most people.

1416
01:10:20,920 --> 01:10:24,160
You are privileged to have
such a relationship with your father.

1417
01:10:24,240 --> 01:10:27,960
So many children long to see love
in their father's eyes.

1418
01:10:28,520 --> 01:10:32,520
Fathers spend so long out
in the world's heat, they dry out inside.

1419
01:10:32,600 --> 01:10:34,800
They become so dry,
they forget they can still be gentle.

1420
01:10:36,200 --> 01:10:37,520
When I hugged my father
for the first time,

1421
01:10:37,600 --> 01:10:40,120
I realized he smelled like me.

1422
01:10:41,280 --> 01:10:43,480
I'd never noticed.

1423
01:10:43,560 --> 01:10:46,080
My mother's scent was part
of my memory, my father's wasn't.

1424
01:10:46,680 --> 01:10:48,720
I could hear his heartbeat.
He put his hand on my head

1425
01:10:48,800 --> 01:10:50,640
and said, "Whatever you do,
I'm always with you."

1426
01:10:51,840 --> 01:10:53,440
The first time you hug someone you love,

1427
01:10:53,520 --> 01:10:55,120
you just want to disappear into them.

1428
01:10:57,560 --> 01:10:59,120
Then I thought
how long can I hug this stranger?

1429
01:11:07,720 --> 01:11:09,400
So I said, "Dad, want to come to a party?"

1430
01:11:12,040 --> 01:11:13,600
He said, "I don't have any clothes."

1431
01:11:14,960 --> 01:11:18,160
I gave him my jeans, my hoodie, my shoes.
He looked like a giant kid.

1432
01:11:20,800 --> 01:11:24,520
We got in the car. Then he said,
"I didn't tell your mom I'm in Delhi."

1433
01:11:25,480 --> 01:11:27,600
I said, "Dad, that's a disaster."

1434
01:11:28,400 --> 01:11:31,040
We called Mom.
And she absolutely tore into him.

1435
01:11:31,960 --> 01:11:34,200
Have you ever watched
your villain getting thrashed? I have.

1436
01:11:36,480 --> 01:11:38,720
He said, "Put me on the 10 p.m. train."

1437
01:11:39,320 --> 01:11:43,280
I said, "Dad, if you take the night train,
you will get home tomorrow afternoon."

1438
01:11:43,360 --> 01:11:46,040
"Just take the morning flight.
You'll be home by 9:00."

1439
01:11:46,120 --> 01:11:48,200
He said, "Son, you're not married yet.
You wouldn't understand."

1440
01:11:48,960 --> 01:11:51,200
"It's not about getting home.
It's about leaving."

1441
01:12:02,320 --> 01:12:05,560
I said, "Let's try for a <i>Tatkal</i> ticket,
otherwise take the morning flight.

1442
01:12:05,640 --> 01:12:07,040
He said, "Who's going
to talk to your mom?"

1443
01:12:07,120 --> 01:12:08,440
I said, "Who will talk to her?"

1444
01:12:08,520 --> 01:12:10,040
He said, "I think it's going to be you."

1445
01:12:12,960 --> 01:12:16,080
I said, "I'll handle it. Don't worry."

1446
01:12:16,160 --> 01:12:18,040
We got in the car and headed to the party.

1447
01:12:18,120 --> 01:12:19,280
He asked, "You'll get me a ticket, right?"

1448
01:12:19,360 --> 01:12:20,760
I said, "We'll check for a <i>Tatkal</i> ticket."

1449
01:12:20,840 --> 01:12:23,880
"If we get one, leave tonight.
Otherwise, stay over and fly tomorrow."

1450
01:12:24,840 --> 01:12:26,360
He said, "Can I tell you something?"

1451
01:12:26,440 --> 01:12:28,120
I said, "Yeah, sure."

1452
01:12:29,600 --> 01:12:31,840
He said, "It's been 28 years
since your mom came into my life."

1453
01:12:32,560 --> 01:12:34,680
"Our relatives think I'm busy
with work and your mom."

1454
01:12:35,320 --> 01:12:37,880
"People at work think
I'm always busy with family and friends."

1455
01:12:38,440 --> 01:12:40,400
"It's been 28 years.
I've never had any free time."

1456
01:12:41,160 --> 01:12:42,520
"No one's satisfied with me."

1457
01:12:43,680 --> 01:12:44,920
"So where exactly was I?"

1458
01:12:46,520 --> 01:12:48,280
I thought, I made a mistake
opening up to him.

1459
01:12:49,560 --> 01:12:51,760
He sounds like a depressed man.

1460
01:12:54,680 --> 01:12:57,440
We pulled up. As we climbed the stairs,
he turned around and said,

1461
01:12:57,520 --> 01:12:59,600
"I've decided.
I'm taking the morning flight."

1462
01:13:00,680 --> 01:13:01,680
I said, "Why?"

1463
01:13:01,760 --> 01:13:03,640
"I've been friends
with your mom for 28 years."

1464
01:13:03,720 --> 01:13:05,360
"But this friendship is brand new."

1465
01:13:11,480 --> 01:13:13,280
We walked in.

1466
01:13:13,360 --> 01:13:14,960
Kuntal knew Dad was coming.

1467
01:13:15,040 --> 01:13:16,600
My girlfriend knew Dad was coming.

1468
01:13:16,680 --> 01:13:18,880
The only person who had no idea
was Vishwas Sharma.

1469
01:13:20,440 --> 01:13:22,680
We rang the bell.
He was hosting the party.

1470
01:13:22,760 --> 01:13:26,480
He was sitting there
with his girlfriend's parents.

1471
01:13:26,560 --> 01:13:28,240
The doorbell rang. He opened it.

1472
01:13:28,320 --> 01:13:30,360
Saw my dad
and he nearly pooped in his pants.

1473
01:13:32,360 --> 01:13:34,360
Poor guy had no clue Dad was showing up.

1474
01:13:34,440 --> 01:13:36,400
He couldn't decide
whether to say hello, fold his hands,

1475
01:13:36,480 --> 01:13:39,520
touch his feet, or hug him.
So, he did all four and went, "Uncle!"

1476
01:13:40,760 --> 01:13:42,240
Dad was so relaxed by then,

1477
01:13:42,320 --> 01:13:44,320
he blessed him and said,
"Has he lost his mind?"

1478
01:13:46,120 --> 01:13:47,840
Then Kuntal rushed over
and immediately touched Dad's feet,

1479
01:13:47,920 --> 01:13:49,520
and said, "Uncle, my respects."

1480
01:13:49,600 --> 01:13:51,840
Dad goes, "What are you doing here?
Don't you work in Bangalore?"

1481
01:13:51,920 --> 01:13:53,320
"No, Uncle.
I was in Delhi for just one day."

1482
01:13:53,400 --> 01:13:55,360
"When I heard you were here,
I had to come see you."

1483
01:13:55,440 --> 01:13:56,760
Dad goes, "Oh, I see."

1484
01:13:56,840 --> 01:13:58,200
"I met your dad the other day."

1485
01:13:58,280 --> 01:14:01,160
"He told me something about you two
that cracked me up."

1486
01:14:01,240 --> 01:14:02,280
I asked, "What did he say?"

1487
01:14:02,360 --> 01:14:05,320
Dad said, "His father said these two are
the reason for each other's downfall."

1488
01:14:12,000 --> 01:14:13,160
Right then Mom called.

1489
01:14:13,240 --> 01:14:16,320
I answered. She goes, "Hello?
Did you put your father on the train?"

1490
01:14:16,400 --> 01:14:18,080
I said, "Hang on. Talk to Dad."

1491
01:14:18,680 --> 01:14:20,400
Dad looked at me and goes…

1492
01:14:20,480 --> 01:14:21,920
I said, "No." He said,
"You promised you'd cover for me."

1493
01:14:22,000 --> 01:14:23,360
I said, "You're not worth it.
Here, talk to her."

1494
01:14:24,520 --> 01:14:25,680
He took the phone, "Hello, hello."

1495
01:14:25,760 --> 01:14:29,360
"No, no, I was on my way to the station."

1496
01:14:31,920 --> 01:14:33,800
"But a bridge collapsed."

1497
01:14:35,520 --> 01:14:37,280
"And a bus fell into a gorge."

1498
01:14:39,120 --> 01:14:41,000
That's it from my side.
Thank you very much.

1499
01:14:42,280 --> 01:14:43,920
You've been a great audience.

1500
01:14:44,000 --> 01:14:45,040
Good night.

1501
01:15:20,000 --> 01:15:23,160
<i>Zakir! Zakir! Zakir!</i>

1502
01:15:23,240 --> 01:15:26,040
<i>Zakir! Zakir! Zakir!</i>

1503
01:15:26,120 --> 01:15:28,920
<i>Zakir! Zakir! Zakir!</i>

1504
01:15:29,000 --> 01:15:31,280
<i>Zakir! Zakir! Zakir!</i>

1505
01:15:34,080 --> 01:15:35,640
This show is very close to my heart.

1506
01:15:35,720 --> 01:15:37,960
If it touched yours too,
I'd love to hear from you.

1507
01:15:39,440 --> 01:15:41,960
To everyone who came here
with their fathers or their parents,

1508
01:15:42,040 --> 01:15:43,520
I thank you from the bottom of my heart.

1509
01:15:43,600 --> 01:15:48,560
You chose to spend that precious time
reserved for your parents, with me.

1510
01:15:48,640 --> 01:15:50,760
{\an8}I'll always be grateful.

1511
01:15:50,840 --> 01:15:54,600
{\an8}If your parents are at home,
go home and hug them.

1512
01:15:54,680 --> 01:15:57,320
{\an8}If they live in another city, tell them,

1513
01:15:57,400 --> 01:15:59,160
"Thank you."

1514
01:15:59,240 --> 01:16:02,080
If they ask why, tell them
their other son asked you to.

1515
01:16:05,760 --> 01:16:08,640
And if life has been cruel
and you've already lost a parent,

1516
01:16:08,720 --> 01:16:11,520
remember this, once you lose a parent,
you gain a God.

1517
01:16:11,600 --> 01:16:13,600
So, whatever you do with your life,

1518
01:16:13,680 --> 01:16:16,520
remember, they're still watching over you.

1519
01:16:16,600 --> 01:16:19,000
Make sure every step you take,
you make them proud.

1520
01:16:19,080 --> 01:16:20,400
Before we close this show,

1521
01:16:20,480 --> 01:16:22,000
I'd like to introduce

1522
01:16:22,840 --> 01:16:24,840
the man whose dreams I'm living,

1523
01:16:25,440 --> 01:16:29,560
the man whose hard work made
this moment possible.

1524
01:16:30,320 --> 01:16:31,880
With a huge round of applause…

1525
01:16:35,080 --> 01:16:36,200
please welcome

1526
01:16:37,600 --> 01:16:38,600
Khan Sahab.

1527
01:17:36,440 --> 01:17:37,560
Hello.

1528
01:17:38,080 --> 01:17:43,040
Thank you for the love and blessings
you've given my son and my family,

1529
01:17:43,120 --> 01:17:47,160
my family and I are deeply grateful.

1530
01:17:47,240 --> 01:17:49,680
Thank you. Thank you so much.