1
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SCRANTON WELCOMES YOU

2
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Pam!

3
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Pamela. Pam-a-lama-ding-dong.

4
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Always copying.

5
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-I don't copy at all.
-Let's go!

6
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News, but fast.

7
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There is a lot to do.

8
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Information highway.

9
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-Nothing there.
-Give it <i>moi</i>.

10
00:01:09,027 --> 00:01:09,988
-What?
-There is nothing.

11
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But that sounded different earlier.

12
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Should I repeat the news,

13
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that I gave you earlier, for...

14
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Caring is sacred to me.

15
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To take care of my employees
my family.

16
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<i>I give them money.</i>

17
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<i>I give them food.</i>

18
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<i>Not directly, but through money.</i>

19
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I...

20
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…heal her.

21
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Today it's my job,

22
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choose a new health insurance policy.

23
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Understood?

24
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That's what this is about.

25
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Does that make me her doctor?

26
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Yes.

27
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In a way.

28
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Yes, to a specialist.

29
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For which health insurance?
have you decided?

30
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I'll take the best one, Jan.

31
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I'll take those

32
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who offers acupuncture,

33
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and therapeutic massage.
The full program.

34
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Wait, acupuncture?

35
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No insurance provides acupuncture.

36
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Did you read this carefully?

37
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I rather think you have each other

38
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the gold package
not looked at carefully enough.

39
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-The Gold Package?
-Yes.

40
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Not even I have that.

41
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-I advise it.
-Michael.

42
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It's very good.

43
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-Read carefully.
-You know

44
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that we only do this to save money.

45
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All you have to do is choose a provider

46
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and take the cheapest offer.

47
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Well, that is

48
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a rather difficult task.

49
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-No one is happy about that.
-It's your job.

50
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-That could turn into pus.
-Then…

51
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This is a suicide mission, okay?

52
00:02:52,325 --> 00:02:53,869
-Michael.
-I can't...

53
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-Maybe...
-The people…

54
00:02:55,538 --> 00:02:57,332
You know, sometimes a manager has to,

55
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like you are, the employees
deliver bad news.

56
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I do this all the time.

57
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When have you ever done something like this?

58
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I'm doing it right now.

59
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towards you.

60
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<i>Wife Swap</i> was on last night.

61
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-Have you seen it?
-No, I have a life.

62
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Interesting. How is that?

63
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You should try it.

64
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Wow.

65
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Who's watching my TV then?

66
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That's like...

67
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Jimbo!

68
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A decision has to be made.

69
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And I have
an incredibly stressful day.

70
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So I'll let you

71
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choose health insurance for the office,
and then you inform us about it

72
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your colleagues.

73
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My goodness.

74
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Yes!

75
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-This is a great offer.
-Yes.

76
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Thanks.

77
00:03:50,149 --> 00:03:53,278
I really should
focus on sales.

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-Really?
-Yes.

79
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I don't think so
that this is a task

80
00:03:58,785 --> 00:03:59,702
which I…

81
00:04:00,370 --> 00:04:01,705
Which I would take over.

82
00:04:01,789 --> 00:04:03,540
Do you know who would be perfect for this?

83
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Every time,
when Michael asks me for something,

84
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I just tell him
Dwight should do it.

85
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Yes! I can do that.

86
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I am your man.

87
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At the moment this is just a job.

88
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When I'm in the company

89
00:04:14,679 --> 00:04:17,016
<i>should rise,
then it would be my career.</i>

90
00:04:17,642 --> 00:04:18,476
And…

91
00:04:19,061 --> 00:04:20,938
If this were my career,

92
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I would jump in front of a train.

93
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Ok, let's go first
the framework conditions.

94
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How many can I fire?

95
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Nobody.

96
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You choose health insurance.

97
00:04:34,122 --> 00:04:35,790
Ok, we'll postpone that for now.

98
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Second, I need an office.

99
00:04:37,584 --> 00:04:38,877
The conference room would be ok.

100
00:04:38,961 --> 00:04:41,839
You can use the conference room
Use as a temporary workplace.

101
00:04:41,923 --> 00:04:43,341
Yes! I have an office.

102
00:04:44,552 --> 00:04:45,803
-Bigger than his.
-No!

103
00:04:45,886 --> 00:04:47,012
Permission withdrawn.

104
00:04:47,096 --> 00:04:48,598
Ok, it's just a workplace.

105
00:04:48,682 --> 00:04:50,517
Temporary. Now you can use it.

106
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Thanks.

107
00:04:54,522 --> 00:04:57,234
If he fails, it is the second warning.
But good for me,

108
00:04:57,734 --> 00:04:59,529
because I gave him a second chance.

109
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And if he makes it...

110
00:05:02,282 --> 00:05:04,034
Nobody would be prouder than me.

111
00:05:04,118 --> 00:05:05,244
I pulled him close.

112
00:05:05,327 --> 00:05:07,164
I made him what he is today.

113
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DWIGHT SCHRUTE WORKPLACE

114
00:05:09,249 --> 00:05:10,459
<i>Except when he fails.</i>

115
00:05:10,543 --> 00:05:11,377
<i>And…</i>

116
00:05:12,253 --> 00:05:13,504
<i>I already talked about that.</i>

117
00:05:18,178 --> 00:05:19,262
<i>What did I do?</i>

118
00:05:19,345 --> 00:05:20,305
<i>My work.</i>

119
00:05:20,805 --> 00:05:23,767
<i>I have cut all subsidies.
I saved the company money.</i>

120
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<i>Was I too rough? Maybe.</i>

121
00:05:26,813 --> 00:05:28,231
<i>I don't want to coddle anyone.</i>

122
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In the wilderness

123
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there is no health care.
In the wild it looks like this:

124
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"Ouch, I hurt my leg.

125
00:05:35,991 --> 00:05:37,202
I can't walk.

126
00:05:37,285 --> 00:05:38,912
A lion is eating me. I'm dead."

127
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Well,

128
00:05:40,873 --> 00:05:42,082
I'm not dead.

129
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I am the lion.

130
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You are dead.

131
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No dentures,

132
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no subsidy for glasses,
and $1,200 deductible.

133
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Dunder Mifflin, Pam here.

134
00:06:00,940 --> 00:06:02,943
<i>Pam, Michael Scott. How's it going?</i>

135
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Where are you?

136
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<i>I'm in my office.</i>

137
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<i>I'm drowning in work.</i>

138
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<i>I'm up to my eyeballs with work.</i>

139
00:06:12,204 --> 00:06:14,374
I'm busy.
I can't stop.

140
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I just wanted to ask once,

141
00:06:16,209 --> 00:06:18,045
how everyone is doing.

142
00:06:18,128 --> 00:06:19,546
Is everyone in a good mood out there?

143
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Honestly,
people are very dissatisfied.

144
00:06:22,342 --> 00:06:24,177
Dwight sent a message.

145
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-People are panicking...
-Oh Pam, you know...

146
00:06:26,430 --> 00:06:29,059
I'm sorry, I have to move on.
I'm getting a call.

147
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No, you won't.

148
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I have to make a phone call as soon as I can

149
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I'm done with the work.

150
00:06:37,569 --> 00:06:40,365
Do not under any circumstances
someone in my office today.

151
00:06:40,448 --> 00:06:43,619
I'm just too busy.

152
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I am unreachable.
I am <i>incommunicado, capisce</i>?

153
00:06:47,541 --> 00:06:48,458
OK.

154
00:06:48,542 --> 00:06:50,837
Thanks. Oh, here we go again.

155
00:06:50,920 --> 00:06:52,630
I have to go. I have to go there.

156
00:06:52,714 --> 00:06:54,091
Still no one is calling.

157
00:06:59,014 --> 00:07:00,598
-Dwight. What is this...
-Knock waiting.

158
00:07:00,682 --> 00:07:03,310
Please. Please knock. This is an office.

159
00:07:03,394 --> 00:07:05,313
-It says “workplace.”
-It's the same thing.

160
00:07:05,397 --> 00:07:07,190
Then why does it say “workplace”?

161
00:07:08,860 --> 00:07:10,945
Please just knock, okay?

162
00:07:11,029 --> 00:07:13,532
-Out of respect for superiors.
-But you're not one.

163
00:07:13,615 --> 00:07:15,325
Then why do I have an office?

164
00:07:15,409 --> 00:07:17,328
-I thought this was a workplace.
-OK.

165
00:07:17,412 --> 00:07:18,413
Dwight.

166
00:07:18,955 --> 00:07:20,916
Really you choose
the health insurance?

167
00:07:21,000 --> 00:07:22,668
Yes, and my decision is made.

168
00:07:22,752 --> 00:07:26,631
That's absurdly bad insurance,
because you deleted everything.

169
00:07:26,715 --> 00:07:28,301
These are hard times, Pam.

170
00:07:28,384 --> 00:07:30,636
-Deal with it.
-You cut more than necessary?

171
00:07:30,720 --> 00:07:32,139
-Clear.
-Why did you do that?

172
00:07:32,222 --> 00:07:33,807
Don't you want good insurance?

173
00:07:33,891 --> 00:07:36,478
Not necessary. Never been sick.
Perfect immune system.

174
00:07:36,561 --> 00:07:38,063
If you've never been sick,

175
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then you have no antibodies.

176
00:07:39,815 --> 00:07:40,858
I don't need that.

177
00:07:40,941 --> 00:07:43,445
Superior genes. I'm a Schrute.

178
00:07:43,528 --> 00:07:45,113
And superior brain power.

179
00:07:45,197 --> 00:07:47,200
I can control my cholesterol level

180
00:07:47,283 --> 00:07:49,035
raise and lower through willpower.

181
00:07:50,329 --> 00:07:52,289
Why do you want to increase your cholesterol?

182
00:07:52,373 --> 00:07:53,666
To lower it afterwards.

183
00:07:56,211 --> 00:07:58,255
He doesn't want to leave his office.

184
00:07:59,215 --> 00:08:01,093
He has to come out at some point.

185
00:08:03,428 --> 00:08:05,890
-To go to the bathroom.
-Kevin.

186
00:08:05,973 --> 00:08:07,183
This is inappropriate.

187
00:08:11,021 --> 00:08:12,065
Can we talk?

188
00:08:12,941 --> 00:08:16,153
Gladly, but I have a lot to do.
Maybe another time?

189
00:08:16,779 --> 00:08:17,905
Michael?

190
00:08:17,988 --> 00:08:18,906
Michael, please.

191
00:08:18,990 --> 00:08:20,409
Say something about this message.

192
00:08:21,410 --> 00:08:23,246
What... What... What message?

193
00:08:23,329 --> 00:08:24,872
The one for health insurance.

194
00:08:24,956 --> 00:08:26,917
-Is she good?
-She's great.

195
00:08:27,000 --> 00:08:28,043
Saves us a fortune.

196
00:08:28,127 --> 00:08:29,711
It's like a pay cut.

197
00:08:29,795 --> 00:08:31,256
He made big cuts.

198
00:08:31,339 --> 00:08:32,549
Cuts? What?

199
00:08:32,632 --> 00:08:34,301
Have you made any cuts?

200
00:08:34,385 --> 00:08:36,804
-Yes. You said I should delete everything...
-No.

201
00:08:36,887 --> 00:08:37,848
You know what?

202
00:08:37,931 --> 00:08:40,517
I didn't say anything specific,
because I had a lot to do.

203
00:08:40,600 --> 00:08:42,728
Why don't you sit in there, Dwight,

204
00:08:42,812 --> 00:08:45,732
and find insurance,
that is appropriate for these people.

205
00:08:45,816 --> 00:08:47,317
-OK?
-I can do that.

206
00:08:47,401 --> 00:08:48,485
OK.

207
00:08:48,570 --> 00:08:49,404
In order.

208
00:08:50,029 --> 00:08:50,947
Is everyone happy?

209
00:08:51,865 --> 00:08:53,117
In order. Good.

210
00:08:55,744 --> 00:08:56,663
By the way,

211
00:08:57,621 --> 00:08:59,039
there is more good news.

212
00:09:00,418 --> 00:09:02,462
Today, at the end of the day,

213
00:09:02,545 --> 00:09:03,921
I have

214
00:09:04,506 --> 00:09:05,466
for all of you

215
00:09:06,550 --> 00:09:07,927
a big surprise.

216
00:09:08,636 --> 00:09:10,305
OK? So have a little patience.

217
00:09:10,388 --> 00:09:12,558
And we'll see you at the end of work.

218
00:09:13,434 --> 00:09:14,435
OK?

219
00:09:22,988 --> 00:09:24,698
-This is not good.
-Completely absurd.

220
00:09:25,199 --> 00:09:26,367
Have you talked to him?

221
00:09:27,535 --> 00:09:28,578
What was that?

222
00:09:28,661 --> 00:09:30,998
You let him bully you.
Really pathetic.

223
00:09:31,081 --> 00:09:32,374
What are you talking about?

224
00:09:32,458 --> 00:09:33,460
Nothing, Kevin.

225
00:09:34,294 --> 00:09:35,670
Do I know the surprise?

226
00:09:35,754 --> 00:09:38,049
No, damn it! Doesn't matter anyway.

227
00:09:38,132 --> 00:09:40,092
The main thing is that you are no longer unhappy.

228
00:09:40,176 --> 00:09:41,386
You are now thinking:

229
00:09:41,470 --> 00:09:43,555
"My boss likes me.
He has a surprise.

230
00:09:43,639 --> 00:09:45,892
He has a surprise. He's cool.

231
00:09:46,518 --> 00:09:48,229
Hey, what a great guy.

232
00:09:48,312 --> 00:09:49,355
I love him.

233
00:09:51,190 --> 00:09:52,817
I love him."

234
00:09:55,070 --> 00:09:56,614
Ok, everyone come here.

235
00:10:00,577 --> 00:10:01,662
Step forward.

236
00:10:04,332 --> 00:10:07,378
Some of you should
be dissatisfied with the insurance.

237
00:10:07,461 --> 00:10:08,712
I would like from you,

238
00:10:08,796 --> 00:10:11,550
that you enter this here,
what illnesses you have

239
00:10:11,633 --> 00:10:14,136
those from the insurance company
should be covered.

240
00:10:14,220 --> 00:10:15,096
You know what?

241
00:10:15,179 --> 00:10:16,973
We can't do that,

242
00:10:17,056 --> 00:10:18,267
because it's confidential.

243
00:10:18,350 --> 00:10:20,894
I didn't say
that you should enter your names.

244
00:10:21,437 --> 00:10:23,147
Fill it out anonymously.

245
00:10:23,231 --> 00:10:25,901
Or don't write anything,
then there is no insurance for it.

246
00:10:25,985 --> 00:10:28,362
Sounds fair? Good.
Ok, I'm in my office.

247
00:10:28,446 --> 00:10:29,447
Workplace.

248
00:10:31,074 --> 00:10:33,202
You know what? Come with me.

249
00:10:33,286 --> 00:10:35,162
We're doing a little mission.

250
00:10:35,246 --> 00:10:37,082
Operation Surprise.

251
00:10:39,084 --> 00:10:40,086
Where are you going?

252
00:10:41,671 --> 00:10:42,922
I have to get out.

253
00:10:43,006 --> 00:10:44,550
Part of my full program.

254
00:10:45,217 --> 00:10:46,218
meetings.

255
00:10:48,888 --> 00:10:50,473
Didn't find the door handle.

256
00:10:52,935 --> 00:10:56,565
<i>So basically I want to
do something nice for my employees.</i>

257
00:10:56,648 --> 00:10:57,774
Atlantic City.

258
00:10:58,359 --> 00:10:59,944
OK? They have such an action

259
00:11:00,028 --> 00:11:02,698
where they send a bus for free.

260
00:11:02,781 --> 00:11:04,950
They collect everyone, drive one there,

261
00:11:05,034 --> 00:11:06,828
to the hotel, the rooms are free.

262
00:11:06,911 --> 00:11:08,330
You get a bunch of chips.

263
00:11:08,413 --> 00:11:09,665
And the food, everything,

264
00:11:09,749 --> 00:11:13,962
it's free, everything is basically one part
this all-inclusive weekend.

265
00:11:14,046 --> 00:11:15,756
I've never heard of that before.

266
00:11:15,839 --> 00:11:17,759
Maybe you could

267
00:11:17,842 --> 00:11:20,304
Call the casinos directly, possibly...

268
00:11:20,387 --> 00:11:21,430
Yes.

269
00:11:21,930 --> 00:11:24,184
I already have that. So…

270
00:11:36,699 --> 00:11:37,700
What are you writing?

271
00:11:38,451 --> 00:11:40,871
Don't write "Ebola" or "mad cow disease."

272
00:11:40,954 --> 00:11:41,997
Understood?

273
00:11:43,208 --> 00:11:44,751
I have both.

274
00:11:46,295 --> 00:11:47,713
I invent new diseases.

275
00:11:47,797 --> 00:11:49,298
-Super.
-For example,

276
00:11:49,382 --> 00:11:51,802
that my teeth are liquefying.

277
00:11:51,885 --> 00:11:54,055
Then they drip down my throat.

278
00:11:54,138 --> 00:11:55,431
What would you call that?

279
00:11:55,515 --> 00:11:57,267
I thought you were making up diseases.

280
00:11:57,351 --> 00:11:59,269
This is spontaneous dento-hydroplosion.

281
00:12:00,771 --> 00:12:01,981
-Not bad.
-Thanks.

282
00:12:02,482 --> 00:12:05,027
I wanted you
ask for a favor, my friend.

283
00:12:06,237 --> 00:12:09,783
I want the troops here
make a joy.

284
00:12:09,866 --> 00:12:12,370
And I thought maybe we could

285
00:12:12,453 --> 00:12:15,581
Come to you and have a ride
with your ride.

286
00:12:16,667 --> 00:12:19,629
<i>Do you mean the elevator,
who goes down the mine shaft?</i>

287
00:12:19,712 --> 00:12:20,964
<i>This is not a ride.</i>

288
00:12:21,506 --> 00:12:24,051
It says here that it…

289
00:12:24,552 --> 00:12:25,845
…90 meters deep.

290
00:12:26,930 --> 00:12:30,183
<i>Well, it goes down 90 meters,
but he drives very slowly.</i>

291
00:12:31,519 --> 00:12:32,687
So no free fall?

292
00:12:33,729 --> 00:12:35,691
<i>It is an industrial coal elevator.</i>

293
00:12:38,069 --> 00:12:40,822
Ok, and if you
once you're in the mine,

294
00:12:41,949 --> 00:12:44,410
what can you...
Do you have laser tag or something?

295
00:12:44,493 --> 00:12:46,955
I don't know yet
what the surprise will be.

296
00:12:47,038 --> 00:12:48,582
Am I worried? No.

297
00:12:48,665 --> 00:12:50,877
Never. I thrive on something like that.

298
00:12:50,960 --> 00:12:52,963
This is my world. This is improvisation.

299
00:12:53,046 --> 00:12:54,465
It's like improv theater.

300
00:12:55,215 --> 00:12:56,216
Damned!

301
00:13:00,764 --> 00:13:02,850
All right then. Who was that?

302
00:13:02,933 --> 00:13:05,228
Tell me so I can punish her.

303
00:13:05,312 --> 00:13:06,396
What are you talking about?

304
00:13:06,980 --> 00:13:10,610
Someone gave false information
that is a criminal offense.

305
00:13:10,693 --> 00:13:11,528
OK.

306
00:13:11,612 --> 00:13:13,489
This is a very serious accusation.

307
00:13:13,572 --> 00:13:15,408
How do you know they're wrong?

308
00:13:16,618 --> 00:13:17,619
Leprosy.

309
00:13:19,413 --> 00:13:21,332
Flesh-eating bacteria.

310
00:13:22,751 --> 00:13:24,044
Hot dog fingers.

311
00:13:25,504 --> 00:13:29,342
Infection with government-built ones
Killer nanorobots.

312
00:13:31,136 --> 00:13:32,137
-Was that you?
-Certainly not.

313
00:13:32,221 --> 00:13:33,055
-But.
-No.

314
00:13:33,138 --> 00:13:35,058
I know it was you. You know what?

315
00:13:35,141 --> 00:13:37,228
I have to interrogate each of you,

316
00:13:37,311 --> 00:13:39,647
until the perpetrator or perpetrators
reveal.

317
00:13:40,147 --> 00:13:41,274
And until then

318
00:13:41,816 --> 00:13:43,777
no one gets health insurance.

319
00:13:47,657 --> 00:13:48,951
Killer nanorobots?

320
00:13:49,034 --> 00:13:50,369
It's an epidemic.

321
00:13:53,665 --> 00:13:54,999
The problem is, Jim,

322
00:13:55,626 --> 00:13:57,461
that people who really

323
00:13:57,545 --> 00:14:00,799
have health problems,
not receiving the necessary care,

324
00:14:00,882 --> 00:14:03,261
because someone in this office

325
00:14:03,344 --> 00:14:05,471
all this ridiculous stuff
thought up

326
00:14:07,516 --> 00:14:08,934
Count Zahlitis.

327
00:14:09,017 --> 00:14:10,018
Sounds bad.

328
00:14:10,102 --> 00:14:11,521
Why did you write that?

329
00:14:12,647 --> 00:14:15,234
-Because you know I like Count Number?
-Is that so?

330
00:14:16,569 --> 00:14:18,154
I think you should confess.

331
00:14:18,822 --> 00:14:19,739
-The fact…
-Yes.

332
00:14:19,823 --> 00:14:20,865
What are you doing?

333
00:14:20,949 --> 00:14:22,702
What? These are my keys.

334
00:14:22,785 --> 00:14:24,370
-Good luck.
-What? Jim!

335
00:14:24,453 --> 00:14:25,956
Damned! No!

336
00:14:26,039 --> 00:14:27,583
Jim, let me out!

337
00:14:27,666 --> 00:14:28,750
Jim. Let me...

338
00:14:30,795 --> 00:14:32,171
The light gray, the green...

339
00:14:38,430 --> 00:14:39,806
-Jim Halpert.
-Let me out.

340
00:14:39,889 --> 00:14:41,892
-Who 's there?
-I'll have you fired.

341
00:14:41,976 --> 00:14:42,977
You can't do that.

342
00:14:43,060 --> 00:14:45,147
Yes, I can. I'm the manager today.

343
00:14:45,230 --> 00:14:46,231
Pack your things.

344
00:14:46,315 --> 00:14:47,650
OK. Will you stay for a moment?

345
00:14:47,734 --> 00:14:49,027
-I'm getting a call.
-You...

346
00:14:51,822 --> 00:14:53,574
-Jim Halpert.
-Hello, this is Pam.

347
00:14:53,657 --> 00:14:55,368
Hello Pam.

348
00:14:55,452 --> 00:14:56,453
How are you?

349
00:14:56,536 --> 00:14:57,871
-Jim, open up!
-Good and you?

350
00:14:57,954 --> 00:14:58,956
-A lot to do?
-It's going ok.

351
00:14:59,040 --> 00:15:00,499
I'm looking forward to the weekend.

352
00:15:00,583 --> 00:15:02,001
-Yes.
-Yeah, what are you up to?

353
00:15:02,502 --> 00:15:03,545
I'm not bothering you, am I?

354
00:15:03,629 --> 00:15:05,339
-Not at all.
-Don't you have any plans?

355
00:15:05,422 --> 00:15:06,966
-Not at all.
-Oh, great.

356
00:15:07,050 --> 00:15:08,801
-Jim!
-Nothing at all this weekend.

357
00:15:08,885 --> 00:15:10,804
-I don't really have anything planned.
-Jim!

358
00:15:10,888 --> 00:15:12,389
-Maybe go shopping.
-Shopping?

359
00:15:12,473 --> 00:15:14,517
-I need new shoes.
-Interesting.

360
00:15:14,601 --> 00:15:15,685
What kind of shoes?

361
00:15:16,770 --> 00:15:18,773
-<i>Hello?</i>
-Hello.

362
00:15:18,856 --> 00:15:21,902
This is Dwight Schrute.
I would like to speak to Jan Levinson Gould.

363
00:15:21,985 --> 00:15:22,986
<i>On the line.</i>

364
00:15:23,612 --> 00:15:24,530
Hello.

365
00:15:24,614 --> 00:15:27,241
Dwight Schrute.
Managing Manager in Scranton.

366
00:15:27,325 --> 00:15:29,828
I need your permission,
to fire Jim Halpert.

367
00:15:30,621 --> 00:15:31,538
<i>Who is there?</i>

368
00:15:32,123 --> 00:15:33,291
Dwight Schrute.

369
00:15:33,875 --> 00:15:35,043
<i>From the sales team?</i>

370
00:15:35,126 --> 00:15:37,171
-Well...
-<i>Where is Michael Scott?</i>

371
00:15:37,254 --> 00:15:39,424
He's not there right now.

372
00:15:39,508 --> 00:15:41,093
He made me boss.

373
00:15:42,469 --> 00:15:43,972
<i>Dwight, listen to me carefully.</i>

374
00:15:44,055 --> 00:15:47,142
<i>You're not the manager of anything, understand?</i>

375
00:15:47,226 --> 00:15:49,895
That's not entirely true,

376
00:15:49,979 --> 00:15:52,273
he lets me
choose health insurance.

377
00:15:53,233 --> 00:15:54,318
<i>Seriously?</i>

378
00:15:54,402 --> 00:15:55,444
-Yes.
-<i>Ok.</i>

379
00:15:55,528 --> 00:15:57,823
<i>When he comes back,
He should call me immediately.</i>

380
00:15:57,906 --> 00:15:58,740
Call immediately.

381
00:15:58,824 --> 00:16:00,158
-Good. Hey, listen.
-<i>Yes.</i>

382
00:16:00,242 --> 00:16:01,744
While I have you on the phone right now,

383
00:16:03,454 --> 00:16:04,414
Can I fire Jim?

384
00:16:04,497 --> 00:16:05,791
<i>No.</i>

385
00:16:05,874 --> 00:16:07,960
<i>Don't ever call me again
on your cell phone.</i>

386
00:16:08,043 --> 00:16:09,629
This is her... I thought it was...

387
00:16:16,388 --> 00:16:18,473
Hello everyone.

388
00:16:18,557 --> 00:16:20,601
Sandwich ice cream!

389
00:16:22,020 --> 00:16:23,479
Here please. Take one.

390
00:16:23,564 --> 00:16:24,815
Here, Phyllis, catch!

391
00:16:24,898 --> 00:16:27,402
Next to it! Then I see Angela.

392
00:16:27,485 --> 00:16:28,361
Or? Angela.

393
00:16:30,238 --> 00:16:31,490
Hey, temp.

394
00:16:31,574 --> 00:16:33,534
Just take two.

395
00:16:33,617 --> 00:16:35,537
Because you don't have health insurance,

396
00:16:35,620 --> 00:16:37,497
but faster metabolism.

397
00:16:37,581 --> 00:16:40,001
Do you have any with cookies instead of...

398
00:16:40,084 --> 00:16:41,669
Now just eat it, okay?

399
00:16:42,671 --> 00:16:46,051
-Here, Stanley the Male.
-Oh thank you.

400
00:16:46,134 --> 00:16:48,678
-Please.
-Is that supposed to be the big surprise?

401
00:16:48,762 --> 00:16:50,973
Because we had
a really terrible day.

402
00:16:52,433 --> 00:16:53,477
No.

403
00:16:53,560 --> 00:16:55,062
That's not the surprise.

404
00:16:55,145 --> 00:16:56,313
It's surprising

405
00:16:57,065 --> 00:16:58,733
because you didn't expect it.

406
00:16:58,816 --> 00:16:59,942
But you will...

407
00:17:00,026 --> 00:17:01,528
You'll see.

408
00:17:03,405 --> 00:17:04,657
Michael.

409
00:17:06,201 --> 00:17:08,245
For God's sake.

410
00:17:17,882 --> 00:17:19,468
I tried to be sensible.

411
00:17:19,551 --> 00:17:21,095
OK? And what happened?

412
00:17:21,178 --> 00:17:22,722
The employees ran amok.

413
00:17:22,806 --> 00:17:24,099
No help from above.

414
00:17:24,182 --> 00:17:25,975
So I have no choice.

415
00:17:26,059 --> 00:17:27,186
I'll now read it out loud

416
00:17:27,269 --> 00:17:28,728
your information about illnesses.

417
00:17:28,813 --> 00:17:32,234
If you hear yours, please raise your hand,
to prove it's true.

418
00:17:32,317 --> 00:17:34,070
If no one raises their hand,

419
00:17:34,152 --> 00:17:35,363
it is not covered.

420
00:17:35,446 --> 00:17:37,156
What about confidentiality?

421
00:17:37,239 --> 00:17:40,035
You know what?
You have forfeited this privilege.

422
00:17:40,119 --> 00:17:42,372
I wanted to treat you like adults,

423
00:17:42,455 --> 00:17:44,499
but I'm the only adult here.

424
00:17:45,459 --> 00:17:47,377
Number one. Inverted penis.

425
00:17:53,553 --> 00:17:55,012
Maybe you mean vagina?

426
00:17:55,638 --> 00:17:58,642
If that is the case,
I would like insurance coverage for this.

427
00:17:58,725 --> 00:18:00,687
I thought
your vagina would have been removed.

428
00:18:01,271 --> 00:18:03,732
The vagina is not the uterus.

429
00:18:04,733 --> 00:18:06,318
I still have my vagina.

430
00:18:17,291 --> 00:18:18,293
Oh dear...

431
00:18:20,503 --> 00:18:21,629
Okay. Super.

432
00:18:22,214 --> 00:18:24,383
Dermatitis. Thank you, Angela.

433
00:18:24,466 --> 00:18:25,719
I'll take care of it.

434
00:18:25,802 --> 00:18:28,180
Ok, who wrote that...

435
00:18:28,263 --> 00:18:30,808
This screamer?

436
00:18:30,892 --> 00:18:32,143
Anal fissures.

437
00:18:32,226 --> 00:18:33,395
They really exist.

438
00:18:33,478 --> 00:18:34,938
Yes, but none of us have them.

439
00:18:38,318 --> 00:18:39,402
Somebody does.

440
00:18:52,336 --> 00:18:53,337
Should we go?

441
00:18:53,420 --> 00:18:54,922
I don't know. This is important.

442
00:18:55,005 --> 00:18:56,507
I don't want to... There he is.

443
00:18:56,591 --> 00:18:57,592
What is he doing there?

444
00:18:57,675 --> 00:18:58,676
I don't know.

445
00:19:09,023 --> 00:19:10,025
And?

446
00:19:10,609 --> 00:19:12,152
And what?

447
00:19:12,236 --> 00:19:13,947
That could mean anything.

448
00:19:14,530 --> 00:19:16,574
OK. The health insurance.

449
00:19:16,658 --> 00:19:19,245
Why are you letting Dwight do this?
He did a lousy job.

450
00:19:19,328 --> 00:19:20,329
Dwight?

451
00:19:21,539 --> 00:19:22,916
Have you increased the subsidies?

452
00:19:22,999 --> 00:19:25,962
-Certainly not.
-Really! That's awful.

453
00:19:28,381 --> 00:19:30,550
Thanks, Dwight, for the lousy insurance.

454
00:19:31,218 --> 00:19:32,845
Oh damn!

455
00:19:35,181 --> 00:19:36,892
I wish I could do something...

456
00:19:37,768 --> 00:19:39,604
But Jan needs her by 5 p.m., and...

457
00:19:39,688 --> 00:19:41,231
What time is it?

458
00:19:41,314 --> 00:19:42,440
It's after 5 p.m.

459
00:19:44,318 --> 00:19:45,569
Oh, how terrible!

460
00:19:46,696 --> 00:19:48,156
Ok, so then...

461
00:19:48,240 --> 00:19:51,327
Okay. See you Monday then, folks.

462
00:19:52,829 --> 00:19:54,456
What about the surprise?

463
00:19:54,540 --> 00:19:57,459
Oh yes. Exactly.

464
00:19:57,543 --> 00:20:00,505
Thank you, Angela,
that you remind me.

465
00:20:01,381 --> 00:20:02,466
Fantastic.

466
00:20:03,134 --> 00:20:05,595
Before I tell you,
what the surprise is,

467
00:20:05,679 --> 00:20:07,014
would you tell me

468
00:20:07,097 --> 00:20:09,142
what kind of surprise are you expecting?

469
00:20:09,851 --> 00:20:11,894
We think there is no surprise.

470
00:20:12,395 --> 00:20:14,231
All right then. I have news for you.

471
00:20:14,315 --> 00:20:16,025
There's a big surprise.

472
00:20:17,152 --> 00:20:18,194
And…

473
00:20:18,820 --> 00:20:20,196
Here she comes. Let's go.

474
00:20:20,281 --> 00:20:21,282
And…

475
00:20:22,116 --> 00:20:25,203
The big surprise is…

476
00:20:27,581 --> 00:20:28,666
Drum roll!

477
00:20:49,108 --> 00:20:51,278
<i>When I'm in a jam,</i>

478
00:20:51,362 --> 00:20:53,072
<i>I really come to life.</i>

479
00:20:53,656 --> 00:20:56,242
I have improvisation
learned from the best.

480
00:20:57,453 --> 00:20:59,330
Drew Carey and Ryan Stiles.

481
00:20:59,413 --> 00:21:02,542
Yes!

482
00:21:02,626 --> 00:21:03,627
This…

483
00:21:11,970 --> 00:21:14,849
<i>Robin Williams, oh man.
I would like to work with him.</i>

484
00:21:16,477 --> 00:21:17,686
That would be exciting.

485
00:21:17,770 --> 00:21:19,355
Hello, I'm Mork from the Ork.

486
00:21:19,439 --> 00:21:21,858
And I am... I am Bork from the Smork.

487
00:21:50,895 --> 00:21:51,896
Oh...

488
00:21:52,690 --> 00:21:54,108
Jan wants you to call her.

489
00:22:23,937 --> 00:22:25,772
Subtitles by: Martin Knuhr