1 00:02:18,872 --> 00:02:20,040 Good morning, sir. 2 00:02:20,640 --> 00:02:21,808 Morning, Corporal. 3 00:02:22,976 --> 00:02:24,478 Any word on our toy soldiers? 4 00:02:24,578 --> 00:02:25,479 Not a one, sir. 5 00:02:25,612 --> 00:02:27,748 The shop still insists they've been shipped. 6 00:02:29,049 --> 00:02:31,051 The deed'll never get done with just the books. 7 00:02:31,151 --> 00:02:33,086 At least I've got them sorted out. 8 00:02:33,787 --> 00:02:35,822 I'll be out at the camp until noon. 9 00:02:35,922 --> 00:02:38,358 After that, at the Foundation. Let me know if the soldiers show up. 10 00:02:38,458 --> 00:02:41,461 Not much of a surprise for the general, not if they don't get here by tonight. 11 00:02:41,561 --> 00:02:43,664 It'll take me hours to set those things up. 12 00:02:44,398 --> 00:02:47,000 The general's office is off limits until his party. 13 00:02:47,100 --> 00:02:49,136 I've got it locked off, for all the good... 14 00:02:49,236 --> 00:02:50,904 that'll do us without any soldiers. 15 00:02:51,004 --> 00:02:51,838 Right, sir. 16 00:02:51,938 --> 00:02:53,640 We'll keep our fingers crossed. 17 00:02:53,907 --> 00:02:56,243 Oh, yes, Corporal. Wish us both luck. 18 00:02:57,978 --> 00:03:02,549 You people haven't seen much of me, but I know all about you. 19 00:03:03,050 --> 00:03:04,985 I know that if you wanted to learn close-order drill... 20 00:03:05,085 --> 00:03:06,853 you'd have joined a marching band, 21 00:03:06,987 --> 00:03:09,656 and not the First Foundation training battalion. 22 00:03:10,123 --> 00:03:13,326 You've spent two weeks of your lives and a lot of your very good money... 23 00:03:13,427 --> 00:03:17,064 learning to fight and kill like professionals. 24 00:03:17,764 --> 00:03:21,201 Tomorrow, Sergeant Major Keegan and his trainers... 25 00:03:21,535 --> 00:03:25,439 will send you home tough, confident and capable. 26 00:03:25,939 --> 00:03:29,209 Someday your capability will be this country's first line of defense... 27 00:03:29,309 --> 00:03:30,844 against our enemies. 28 00:03:31,311 --> 00:03:34,681 Some of those enemies have seen fit to deprive us of a draft army, 29 00:03:35,615 --> 00:03:37,250 a trained body of citizens, 30 00:03:37,350 --> 00:03:40,721 ready to guard our families and our way of life. 31 00:03:41,288 --> 00:03:43,356 Now, by your personal sacrifices, 32 00:03:43,490 --> 00:03:46,226 you have embraced that responsibility. 33 00:03:47,027 --> 00:03:50,497 Tonight's maneuvers will be your last formal exercise. 34 00:03:51,164 --> 00:03:55,402 After that, I expect you to live what you've learned. 35 00:03:56,069 --> 00:04:00,207 General Padget is proud of you. I'm proud of you. 36 00:04:01,341 --> 00:04:03,777 Soldiers, I salute you. 37 00:04:25,766 --> 00:04:29,636 How much longer are you gonna keep making that phony bugle-boy... 38 00:04:29,770 --> 00:04:31,338 speech to the troops? 39 00:04:31,471 --> 00:04:34,107 Fine body of men you're turning out there. 40 00:04:35,509 --> 00:04:37,544 Well, I don't like this job. 41 00:04:37,711 --> 00:04:41,481 I hated dumb duty when I was in the army, and I don't like it any better now. 42 00:04:42,249 --> 00:04:45,185 You never drew this kind of pay for real soldiering. 43 00:04:45,285 --> 00:04:46,953 Neither did you, Frank. 44 00:04:48,255 --> 00:04:49,089 Now, 45 00:04:49,189 --> 00:04:53,360 you don't mind me calling you Frank, do you, Colonel, huh? 46 00:04:53,593 --> 00:04:56,830 It's fair, Lester. We've been around a few blocks together. 47 00:04:56,963 --> 00:05:01,001 Yeah, that's true, that's true. Now you're running this foundation here, 48 00:05:01,101 --> 00:05:03,970 and you're working for the old general, I'm working for you. 49 00:05:04,104 --> 00:05:09,509 Only the general, he... He doesn't trust you all that much anymore. 50 00:05:10,977 --> 00:05:12,979 Turns out he likes me better. 51 00:05:13,380 --> 00:05:14,447 Cheers. 52 00:05:16,917 --> 00:05:18,351 Is that a fact, Lester? 53 00:05:18,818 --> 00:05:21,888 You know, the general thinks you're holding out on him, Frank. 54 00:05:22,522 --> 00:05:27,127 Some operation called, uh, Special Projects Fund. 55 00:05:27,294 --> 00:05:30,130 Did you ever hear of the Special Projects Fund? 56 00:05:30,564 --> 00:05:31,731 That's Foundation business. 57 00:05:31,831 --> 00:05:33,867 It's got nothing to do with the training battalion. 58 00:05:34,668 --> 00:05:38,471 Well, Frank, that's exactly what I told General Padget... 59 00:05:38,572 --> 00:05:40,941 when he asked me to look into this for him. 60 00:05:41,074 --> 00:05:45,779 But how in the hell am I gonna find out anything that high and fancy, 61 00:05:45,879 --> 00:05:50,450 unless I talk to some of my old army brothers in the Pentagon? 62 00:05:50,750 --> 00:05:54,821 Which I did. Just top-kick non-coms. 63 00:05:55,388 --> 00:05:57,857 What the hell, close enough to the bone. 64 00:05:58,725 --> 00:06:01,127 And you know what I found out? 65 00:06:01,361 --> 00:06:03,730 I have a feeling you're gonna tell me, Lester. 66 00:06:04,297 --> 00:06:06,967 You're using the general's foundation... 67 00:06:07,234 --> 00:06:10,403 to do things that they put people in jail for. 68 00:06:10,670 --> 00:06:15,075 Then you're cutting out a nice slice of cash for yourself. 69 00:06:15,175 --> 00:06:16,509 But, Frank, listen, 70 00:06:16,610 --> 00:06:21,114 I don't have the slightest intention of blabbing any of this to General Padget. 71 00:06:21,848 --> 00:06:25,118 Not after what you and I have been through. Mmm-mmm. 72 00:06:27,254 --> 00:06:28,955 I appreciate that, Lester. 73 00:06:31,358 --> 00:06:34,794 Oh, thanks for the use of the room. 74 00:06:34,895 --> 00:06:38,431 Of course I had to do a little recon job for myself. 75 00:06:39,566 --> 00:06:44,070 So I can tell you that I also know who you've been sleeping with. 76 00:06:46,072 --> 00:06:51,144 Sergeant Major Keegan, you seem to have a great deal on your mind. 77 00:06:52,212 --> 00:06:54,648 Well, Frank, you see, I got this idea in my head... 78 00:06:54,748 --> 00:07:00,186 that if the Foundation's got money for you, you've got money for me. 79 00:07:01,054 --> 00:07:02,522 What do you say, partner? 80 00:07:04,991 --> 00:07:07,394 It's the old army game, Lester. 81 00:07:08,461 --> 00:07:10,964 All those black phone calls you've been making. 82 00:07:11,231 --> 00:07:13,300 You call your friends, they call you. 83 00:07:13,400 --> 00:07:15,735 They pump their friends, their friends call me. 84 00:07:15,835 --> 00:07:17,804 And round and round it goes. 85 00:07:18,238 --> 00:07:21,508 So I guess I'm about three points ahead of you on this. 86 00:07:22,108 --> 00:07:25,011 As for whom I may or may not be sleeping with, 87 00:07:25,645 --> 00:07:28,515 I've noticed you've been following me around here and there. 88 00:07:29,115 --> 00:07:32,786 Lester, you don't do that very well, so I know all about that, too. 89 00:07:33,520 --> 00:07:36,022 So what are we gonna do about all this? 90 00:07:37,824 --> 00:07:39,592 We're gonna take care of each other, 91 00:07:40,393 --> 00:07:42,929 so long as neither one of us gets greedy. 92 00:07:43,029 --> 00:07:44,397 Starting when? 93 00:07:45,832 --> 00:07:47,701 Give me a couple of days to bring you an offer. 94 00:07:49,402 --> 00:07:54,407 Old battle comrades never die, they just get rich together. 95 00:07:54,808 --> 00:07:55,909 No hard feelings, Frank? 96 00:07:56,476 --> 00:07:58,211 Life's too short. 97 00:07:58,645 --> 00:08:00,980 Nobody knows that better than we do, huh? 98 00:08:01,081 --> 00:08:02,215 That's right. 99 00:08:10,023 --> 00:08:12,459 Those were the days of Korea. 100 00:08:12,892 --> 00:08:17,964 I only had one star then, and in the presence of a five-star general, 101 00:08:18,064 --> 00:08:21,668 one star gave you as much heft as a shavetail. 102 00:08:22,702 --> 00:08:26,539 I remember the first time he cocked that pipe at me, 103 00:08:26,639 --> 00:08:29,075 he couldn't even remember my name. 104 00:08:29,776 --> 00:08:31,911 But that's all right. I couldn't either. 105 00:08:34,981 --> 00:08:38,151 I've got a lot of stars myself now, I affirm. 106 00:08:38,718 --> 00:08:40,387 I've had 'em for some time. 107 00:08:41,621 --> 00:08:44,858 Every once in a while, they let me dress up in my soldier's suit, 108 00:08:45,358 --> 00:08:47,227 and try to impress somebody. 109 00:08:47,894 --> 00:08:51,798 But you think-tank people are too smart for that kind of stuff. 110 00:08:53,400 --> 00:08:58,071 Nowadays, I have the honor to head up your organization. 111 00:08:58,438 --> 00:09:00,740 They put my name on the top of the stationary, 112 00:09:00,840 --> 00:09:03,343 and they call me your chairman. 113 00:09:03,743 --> 00:09:06,112 You're a great bunch of folks here. I would... 114 00:09:06,212 --> 00:09:10,617 I only wish I had you on my staff when I was in the Army. 115 00:09:12,051 --> 00:09:18,858 My beautiful wife here and I both thank you for a lovely morning. 116 00:09:20,026 --> 00:09:24,330 And now, now it's time for Frank and me to get out there, 117 00:09:24,864 --> 00:09:28,868 and dig up some more contributions to keep this place going. 118 00:09:29,736 --> 00:09:31,037 God bless you all. 119 00:09:36,109 --> 00:09:38,878 You made it a very pleasant morning, Frank. You always do. 120 00:09:38,978 --> 00:09:40,680 We'd still like the General to keep an office here. 121 00:09:40,780 --> 00:09:44,551 I wouldn't know what to do with it. I don't even know what's going on here. 122 00:09:45,552 --> 00:09:49,522 Too many Ph.D. 's trying to rewrite the history of the world. 123 00:09:50,023 --> 00:09:53,860 Say, how is that sergeant major of yours doing? 124 00:09:54,127 --> 00:09:55,862 I haven't seen him for a while. 125 00:09:55,962 --> 00:09:57,297 – Lester Keegan? – Right. 126 00:09:57,397 --> 00:09:58,731 Still hammering away at the troops. 127 00:09:58,865 --> 00:10:00,867 Well, I don't know about that bunch, 128 00:10:00,967 --> 00:10:05,271 but Keegan's a good man. A good soldier. We need more like him. 129 00:10:06,406 --> 00:10:09,242 Oh, it almost slipped my mind again. 130 00:10:09,909 --> 00:10:13,313 That Special Projects Fund of yours, Frank. 131 00:10:13,413 --> 00:10:16,783 You know, I still haven't seen the report yet. 132 00:10:17,550 --> 00:10:24,557 All brought up to date, sir. I think it'll explain everything. 133 00:10:26,392 --> 00:10:27,060 That's it? 134 00:10:27,160 --> 00:10:28,128 That's the report. 135 00:10:29,229 --> 00:10:30,697 I'm grateful, Frank. 136 00:10:34,567 --> 00:10:38,838 Someone promises once and doesn't deliver, well, that's a busy man. 137 00:10:38,938 --> 00:10:42,509 Promises twice, he's not very efficient. 138 00:10:42,675 --> 00:10:46,546 Promises three times, I know when I'm being diddled. 139 00:10:48,982 --> 00:10:52,619 But here we are, after all. I take it all back. 140 00:10:52,719 --> 00:10:57,524 And now I'd like another look at that sexy computer system of yours. 141 00:10:58,191 --> 00:11:02,262 There goes my Squire Toad. Enthusiasm unbounded. 142 00:11:02,729 --> 00:11:04,230 Are we gonna have the soldiers for him, Frank? 143 00:11:04,330 --> 00:11:05,698 Still up for grabs. 144 00:11:05,798 --> 00:11:08,868 Colonel Brailie, I've got... Oh, excuse me, Mrs. Padget. 145 00:11:09,102 --> 00:11:11,070 Not at all, Marcia. I was just leaving. 146 00:11:11,371 --> 00:11:15,141 I'm glad you got that report to Jack. He was fretting about it. 147 00:11:15,241 --> 00:11:17,310 – I'll see you at the dinner party. – Indeed. 148 00:11:18,778 --> 00:11:19,445 Bye-bye, Marcia. 149 00:11:19,546 --> 00:11:20,547 Bye-bye, Mrs. Padget. 150 00:11:20,713 --> 00:11:22,181 What can I do for you, Marcia? 151 00:11:22,282 --> 00:11:24,784 We seem to have two Special Projects reports. 152 00:11:24,884 --> 00:11:26,886 Do you want either one of them in central files? 153 00:11:27,020 --> 00:11:28,788 No, I'll take care of them. Just leave them here. 154 00:11:57,650 --> 00:11:59,252 You know I don't love you. 155 00:11:59,652 --> 00:12:03,456 What I love is being here with you, like this. 156 00:12:05,191 --> 00:12:07,193 Does that make me a bad woman? 157 00:12:08,194 --> 00:12:09,996 Only for a few hours, 158 00:12:12,198 --> 00:12:14,133 my depraved Jenny. 159 00:12:15,001 --> 00:12:19,539 Hmm. Of all the sins, Jack says betrayal is the worst. 160 00:12:27,080 --> 00:12:30,550 What's your worst conceivable sin? 161 00:12:31,751 --> 00:12:33,753 Not getting what I want. 162 00:12:35,755 --> 00:12:39,459 I meant what I said, Frank, our first time. 163 00:12:41,628 --> 00:12:47,100 We'll take what we enjoy from each other, but I won't have him hurt. 164 00:12:47,834 --> 00:12:51,037 Not by you, not by me, not by us. 165 00:12:51,137 --> 00:12:55,208 He'll never know. Never. I promise. 166 00:13:01,447 --> 00:13:05,418 Okay, you've had a taste. Final exam's coming up. 167 00:13:05,518 --> 00:13:09,389 Time to see what all you heroes have learned these past two weeks. 168 00:13:09,555 --> 00:13:13,693 Now, you got three hours to get back to base camp, 169 00:13:13,793 --> 00:13:17,630 in the dark, in the muck, in the woods. 170 00:13:18,197 --> 00:13:21,968 And, just so you don't think those pits you see in the woods, 171 00:13:22,068 --> 00:13:24,637 the ones with the white lime circles around them, 172 00:13:24,971 --> 00:13:28,408 just so you don't think they're nifty little hiding places, 173 00:13:28,508 --> 00:13:31,611 every once in a while the bogeyman is gonna make them go... 174 00:13:35,815 --> 00:13:37,617 That's mortar fire. 175 00:13:37,850 --> 00:13:40,186 And you're never gonna know when it's incoming. 176 00:13:40,486 --> 00:13:42,655 So I don't wanna ever catch any of your raggedy butts... 177 00:13:42,755 --> 00:13:46,626 hanging around something that looks like a white circle. 178 00:13:48,094 --> 00:13:50,863 Now, that's the menu for tonight's tea party. 179 00:13:51,597 --> 00:13:56,135 So you soldiers of fortune, get some chow, get some rest, 180 00:13:56,235 --> 00:13:59,105 'cause the fun and games commence at sundown. 181 00:14:00,673 --> 00:14:03,309 The sexual life of the camel... 182 00:14:03,976 --> 00:14:06,212 Is stranger than anyone thinks. 183 00:14:06,312 --> 00:14:08,414 He lies in the shade of the pyramids... 184 00:14:08,514 --> 00:14:10,750 And tries to make love to the Sphinx. 185 00:14:10,850 --> 00:14:13,219 But the Sphinx is only a statue... 186 00:14:13,319 --> 00:14:15,321 Beset by the sands of the Nile... 187 00:14:15,521 --> 00:14:17,990 Which accounts for the humps on the camel... 188 00:14:18,191 --> 00:14:22,128 And the Sphinx's inscrutable smile. 189 00:14:28,034 --> 00:14:29,969 All right, Mr. Martinson, it's your turn on stage. 190 00:14:30,069 --> 00:14:31,037 Oh, well... 191 00:14:31,537 --> 00:14:35,842 Well, in this glittering company all Peggy and I have to offer... 192 00:14:35,942 --> 00:14:40,380 is a little contribution to help celebrate the general's birthday. 193 00:14:40,480 --> 00:14:42,281 Well, we don't wear uniforms, 194 00:14:42,381 --> 00:14:46,486 but we do like to think of ourselves as patriots. 195 00:14:46,753 --> 00:14:50,456 So keep up the good work there, Jack, and you, too, Frank, and... 196 00:14:50,556 --> 00:14:52,425 damnation to our enemies. 197 00:14:52,525 --> 00:14:53,359 Hear, hear. 198 00:14:53,493 --> 00:14:54,861 Hear, hear. 199 00:14:57,130 --> 00:15:01,033 Jenny, our good friends seem to have made this out to the First Foundation. 200 00:15:01,601 --> 00:15:04,370 Now, I'm not going to tell you people how much this is for, 201 00:15:04,504 --> 00:15:09,075 but I think I've counted pretty close to six zeroes. 202 00:15:17,116 --> 00:15:17,884 Come on. 203 00:15:26,092 --> 00:15:26,926 Come here! 204 00:15:28,594 --> 00:15:32,732 Jenny, I got 'em. 600 blue and gray. 205 00:15:33,332 --> 00:15:34,200 The toy soldiers? 206 00:15:34,300 --> 00:15:35,168 Just delivered. 207 00:15:35,268 --> 00:15:37,336 What a shame, Frank. You won't have time. 208 00:15:37,437 --> 00:15:38,805 Let me try. 209 00:15:39,438 --> 00:15:42,575 Two hours, then bring everybody up to the pool house. 210 00:15:42,942 --> 00:15:46,879 If I haven't got everything set up, at least we'll have something to show off. 211 00:15:47,246 --> 00:15:49,582 Jennifer? Where's Jennifer? 212 00:15:49,682 --> 00:15:52,118 Jennifer! There you are. 213 00:15:52,218 --> 00:15:54,086 Now, tell me, what's all this about? 214 00:15:54,187 --> 00:15:55,988 More birthday surprises. 215 00:15:56,088 --> 00:15:56,956 Oh, my. 216 00:17:04,557 --> 00:17:05,558 Anybody out yet? 217 00:17:05,658 --> 00:17:08,527 Nah. They're falling over their own feet in there. 218 00:17:08,661 --> 00:17:10,296 Throw me that checklist. 219 00:17:16,202 --> 00:17:17,770 Count 'em right, Sidney. 220 00:17:18,838 --> 00:17:21,407 Everybody checked out before you start the light show. 221 00:17:24,243 --> 00:17:25,978 I'll take care of the hookups. 222 00:18:30,109 --> 00:18:32,578 Keegan to Winnik. I'm out of here. 223 00:20:22,421 --> 00:20:23,255 Frank? 224 00:20:28,127 --> 00:20:29,328 Frank? 225 00:20:30,396 --> 00:20:31,363 Frank? 226 00:20:34,767 --> 00:20:36,802 Happy birthday, Jack. 227 00:20:38,904 --> 00:20:40,406 Happy birthday! 228 00:20:43,709 --> 00:20:45,177 I'll be damned. 229 00:20:45,377 --> 00:20:46,812 Gettysburg. 230 00:20:47,213 --> 00:20:49,915 Cemetery Ridge. Pickett's Charge. 231 00:20:50,349 --> 00:20:52,118 Love from Jenny. 232 00:20:53,352 --> 00:20:54,553 Indeed. 233 00:21:11,203 --> 00:21:12,605 It's a marvel. 234 00:21:14,573 --> 00:21:15,975 You're a marvel. 235 00:21:17,209 --> 00:21:18,744 The books go with it, Jack. 236 00:21:18,844 --> 00:21:21,413 All the Civil War battles you'd ever want to fight. 237 00:21:21,514 --> 00:21:24,483 All on a nice, clean sand table. 238 00:21:25,317 --> 00:21:27,419 Not so clean that day. 239 00:21:28,454 --> 00:21:32,158 No, not when the dying began. 240 00:21:33,025 --> 00:21:37,496 Flesh and bone and heartbreak. 241 00:21:41,801 --> 00:21:43,068 Listen up! 242 00:21:44,170 --> 00:21:47,673 We're all out of the woods, and count yourselves lucky. 243 00:21:48,574 --> 00:21:53,846 You were still in there. The enemy had his artillery ranged and ready. 244 00:21:55,247 --> 00:21:59,618 So that's where you begin to die, like this. 245 00:22:20,172 --> 00:22:24,076 Look at that. I think we just lost one of our men. 246 00:23:37,416 --> 00:23:39,018 My name is Brailie. 247 00:23:40,519 --> 00:23:43,922 Well, my pleasure, sir. Colonel Brailie. 248 00:23:44,023 --> 00:23:45,658 – You're from the Foundation. – That's right. 249 00:23:45,758 --> 00:23:47,259 Lieutenant Columbo. 250 00:23:47,993 --> 00:23:48,661 Police. 251 00:23:48,761 --> 00:23:50,329 A lieutenant. 252 00:23:50,429 --> 00:23:52,665 We seem to be fellow officers, Lieutenant. 253 00:23:53,899 --> 00:23:56,702 You know the responsibility of leading your men. 254 00:23:56,802 --> 00:24:00,406 Well, mostly the men I lead, that'd just be me, sir. 255 00:24:00,639 --> 00:24:01,607 I see. 256 00:24:02,007 --> 00:24:04,043 Still, you can understand an officer's concern, 257 00:24:04,143 --> 00:24:06,545 when he's lost someone under his command. 258 00:24:07,212 --> 00:24:09,148 Is there any way I can assist you here? 259 00:24:09,248 --> 00:24:11,250 Well, thank you very much, sir. 260 00:24:11,517 --> 00:24:13,519 The training battalion, 261 00:24:13,619 --> 00:24:17,723 all the military uniforms and military ranks, 262 00:24:17,823 --> 00:24:21,393 it was very confusing to understand that all this... 263 00:24:21,493 --> 00:24:23,862 is really just a school for civilians. 264 00:24:23,962 --> 00:24:26,865 But we seem to have that under control now, sir. 265 00:24:26,966 --> 00:24:29,168 Then what are all these people searching for? 266 00:24:29,268 --> 00:24:31,370 Search and look, look and search... 267 00:24:31,470 --> 00:24:34,340 for whatever might explain the circumstances. 268 00:24:34,707 --> 00:24:37,343 They expect us to do that in homicide. 269 00:24:37,710 --> 00:24:40,512 Homicide? I was told it was an accident. 270 00:24:41,146 --> 00:24:44,450 Well, there is one question. 271 00:24:50,356 --> 00:24:52,958 About the exercises last night. 272 00:24:53,058 --> 00:24:57,429 Now, I understand that Mr. Keegan set those switches over there, 273 00:24:57,529 --> 00:24:59,098 and then he radioed... 274 00:25:00,232 --> 00:25:03,068 May I ask, sir, were you watching the exercises? 275 00:25:03,168 --> 00:25:05,738 No, I'm afraid I was at a dinner party for General Padget. 276 00:25:05,838 --> 00:25:06,605 Right. 277 00:25:09,141 --> 00:25:11,643 General Jack Padget? 278 00:25:11,877 --> 00:25:13,145 That General Padget? 279 00:25:13,245 --> 00:25:14,580 That General Padget. 280 00:25:15,347 --> 00:25:18,851 That would be like having dinner with history, sir, wouldn't it? 281 00:25:18,951 --> 00:25:21,353 He's the honorary chairman of our foundation. 282 00:25:21,453 --> 00:25:23,989 You were about to ask me a question, Lieutenant. 283 00:25:24,390 --> 00:25:26,558 A question? Right. 284 00:25:26,925 --> 00:25:28,627 Mr. Keegan, yes. 285 00:25:29,194 --> 00:25:32,798 Mr. Keegan set those switches for what they call a light show. 286 00:25:33,298 --> 00:25:36,268 He radioed Sergeant Winnik that he was leaving. 287 00:25:37,002 --> 00:25:38,904 But it was an hour later, 288 00:25:39,004 --> 00:25:43,041 when Sergeant Winnik fired off the explosives that killed him. 289 00:25:43,509 --> 00:25:45,711 What was he still doing here? 290 00:25:45,878 --> 00:25:48,280 Can you help me with that, Colonel Brailie? 291 00:25:49,081 --> 00:25:50,983 I've been wondering about that myself. 292 00:25:51,917 --> 00:25:53,952 Obviously something brought him back here. 293 00:25:54,052 --> 00:25:58,957 But why to this particular spot, when he knew it was so dangerous? 294 00:25:59,691 --> 00:26:02,060 What am I gonna say in my report? 295 00:26:03,362 --> 00:26:06,899 That he was checking a wiring connection, 296 00:26:08,100 --> 00:26:10,769 or searching for something, or someone. 297 00:26:13,305 --> 00:26:16,208 Even the best of trained men grow careless. 298 00:26:17,609 --> 00:26:19,845 While I played with toy soldiers. 299 00:26:20,679 --> 00:26:21,914 Toy soldiers, sir? 300 00:26:24,416 --> 00:26:28,087 I was setting up a gift for the General. 301 00:26:36,929 --> 00:26:39,498 I'm gonna give you four final words, Lieutenant. 302 00:26:39,698 --> 00:26:42,034 Chest burned and excavated. 303 00:26:42,267 --> 00:26:43,569 Now, you need me for anything else? 304 00:26:43,669 --> 00:26:45,737 That's it. Thanks, Clarence. 305 00:26:45,838 --> 00:26:47,473 I'll send the attendants. 306 00:26:48,707 --> 00:26:50,142 We served together. 307 00:26:51,410 --> 00:26:53,545 Little wars in secret places. 308 00:26:55,547 --> 00:26:58,517 I brought him out of the army into the training battalion. 309 00:26:59,818 --> 00:27:04,690 All that combat, to die on a night exercise. 310 00:27:06,058 --> 00:27:07,226 Well, 311 00:27:07,926 --> 00:27:12,698 we're just gonna have to call it an accident, sir, and let it go at that. 312 00:27:15,100 --> 00:27:17,503 I have arrangements to make, Lieutenant, if you'll forgive me. 313 00:27:17,603 --> 00:27:21,340 Right, sir. You just run along, and we'll call you if we need anything. 314 00:27:21,773 --> 00:27:23,208 I'm very sorry. 315 00:27:24,910 --> 00:27:25,878 Thank you. 316 00:27:41,527 --> 00:27:43,162 Lieutenant! We found it, sir! 317 00:27:43,295 --> 00:27:46,031 – Hey, Jackson, over here. – They got it, they got it. Check it out. 318 00:27:46,164 --> 00:27:48,066 Right there, at the bottom of the slope. 319 00:27:48,167 --> 00:27:49,301 Right there, Lieutenant. 320 00:27:49,401 --> 00:27:50,636 Very good, Sergeant. 321 00:27:50,836 --> 00:27:53,338 Eddie, gonna need some photographs. 322 00:28:05,951 --> 00:28:09,788 This object that I have in my hand is a flashlight, is that right? 323 00:28:09,888 --> 00:28:11,156 Yes, sir. 324 00:28:11,256 --> 00:28:12,724 You all see that? 325 00:28:12,824 --> 00:28:13,926 Yes, sir. 326 00:28:48,293 --> 00:28:51,763 Battalion's closed down until we find out why this accident happened. 327 00:28:52,898 --> 00:28:54,866 Last night we lost a comrade. 328 00:28:55,901 --> 00:28:57,736 All of you have served in the regular forces. 329 00:28:58,337 --> 00:29:00,639 Some of you have seen violent death before. 330 00:29:01,306 --> 00:29:03,408 That's the profession we picked. 331 00:29:03,809 --> 00:29:07,179 We're soldiers, so make the best of it. 332 00:29:10,382 --> 00:29:11,383 That's all. 333 00:30:26,224 --> 00:30:29,161 Oh, I'm sorry, sir. That'd be my mess. 334 00:30:29,294 --> 00:30:31,830 I must have tracked it in here when I came back to clean up. 335 00:30:32,164 --> 00:30:33,799 Well, that's all right, Lieutenant. 336 00:30:33,899 --> 00:30:36,234 Lester kept this place like he was still a recruit. 337 00:30:36,334 --> 00:30:37,636 We wouldn't want to desecrate it now. 338 00:30:37,769 --> 00:30:40,639 Well, I apologize, Colonel. Here, let me take that. 339 00:30:41,306 --> 00:30:44,876 This camp. I never saw so much mud. 340 00:30:45,110 --> 00:30:47,679 I counted seven different type muds. 341 00:30:48,246 --> 00:30:51,316 You can't imagine how many different kinds of mud. 342 00:30:51,516 --> 00:30:54,286 That's what a detective has to be interested in. 343 00:30:54,386 --> 00:30:56,355 Green mud and black mud, 344 00:30:56,455 --> 00:31:00,392 wet mud and dry mud, old mud and new mud. 345 00:31:00,592 --> 00:31:04,996 I bring the samples home. My wife, that's Mrs. Columbo, 346 00:31:05,731 --> 00:31:07,899 she won't even let me bring it in the house. 347 00:31:08,266 --> 00:31:12,704 That woman, she keeps her house like Sergeant Major Keegan. 348 00:31:14,206 --> 00:31:15,273 There. 349 00:31:16,675 --> 00:31:18,610 Now, that mud... 350 00:31:19,111 --> 00:31:21,246 That's the mud from where the victim was killed. 351 00:31:21,880 --> 00:31:23,215 In the accident. 352 00:31:23,782 --> 00:31:25,517 You're very thorough, Lieutenant. 353 00:31:26,651 --> 00:31:28,653 I don't think I'd like you on my trail. 354 00:31:28,754 --> 00:31:30,989 Oh, if that were the case, sir, 355 00:31:31,690 --> 00:31:36,228 I'd have to ask you what you were doing here in the victim's quarters. 356 00:31:36,361 --> 00:31:40,265 And I'd tell you it was to say a kind of last farewell. 357 00:31:40,799 --> 00:31:42,100 Of course, sir. 358 00:31:43,502 --> 00:31:44,836 And clean up the mud. 359 00:31:46,438 --> 00:31:47,806 And that, too. 360 00:31:49,274 --> 00:31:50,008 Colonel. 361 00:31:50,308 --> 00:31:51,610 Lieutenant Columbo. 362 00:31:51,777 --> 00:31:53,044 Yes, Sergeant? 363 00:31:53,378 --> 00:31:54,846 I've got the men here, sir. 364 00:31:56,014 --> 00:31:56,848 Thank you, Sergeant. 365 00:31:56,982 --> 00:31:58,483 I'll send them in one at a time. 366 00:32:00,619 --> 00:32:04,256 I wanted to talk to some of the men, sir, just to get a feel of the place. 367 00:32:04,489 --> 00:32:05,624 Go to it, Lieutenant. 368 00:32:05,724 --> 00:32:08,360 Please, call me at the Foundation if there's anything I can do for you. 369 00:32:21,373 --> 00:32:22,407 Here I be. 370 00:32:27,279 --> 00:32:29,114 You wanted to know about the training battalion? 371 00:32:29,214 --> 00:32:32,651 I want to know about you, sir, and why you came here. 372 00:32:32,951 --> 00:32:35,287 To get ready for the time of anarchy. 373 00:32:35,720 --> 00:32:37,088 Time of anarchy? 374 00:32:37,355 --> 00:32:39,457 When the element tries to take over. 375 00:32:40,759 --> 00:32:41,927 The element, sir? 376 00:32:42,227 --> 00:32:44,029 Now, maybe you don't care, 377 00:32:44,129 --> 00:32:46,698 but they ain't gettin' me, and they ain't gettin' mine! 378 00:32:48,800 --> 00:32:50,569 Right. 379 00:32:50,802 --> 00:32:52,571 Training up to be a mercenary, sir. 380 00:32:54,306 --> 00:32:55,440 In two weeks? 381 00:32:55,874 --> 00:32:57,776 That's what the article said in the magazine. 382 00:32:58,410 --> 00:33:00,478 Best camp I've ever been to, sir. 383 00:33:00,579 --> 00:33:02,814 You mean you've been to these places before? 384 00:33:03,014 --> 00:33:05,650 Little bit, sir. Taylor Point, South Carolina, 385 00:33:06,151 --> 00:33:08,920 Westerville, Arizona, Squeaks Ridge, Pennsylvania, 386 00:33:09,020 --> 00:33:11,756 Centerburg, North Dakota, High Bluff, Nevada, 387 00:33:11,857 --> 00:33:14,860 Tannerstown, Oklahoma, Forge Bend, Kentucky. 388 00:33:14,960 --> 00:33:18,797 Then last year, sir, I got into Blast Cap, Georgia, 389 00:33:18,897 --> 00:33:21,233 Deal, Montana, Murphytown... 390 00:33:27,239 --> 00:33:29,541 I'm sorry, Lieutenant. Colonel Brailie's busy for a few minutes. 391 00:33:29,641 --> 00:33:31,142 He'll get to you as soon as he can. 392 00:33:31,243 --> 00:33:34,045 That's quite all right, ma'am. Thank you very much. 393 00:33:35,547 --> 00:33:39,918 At the Foundation, ma'am, what is it people do here? 394 00:33:40,051 --> 00:33:41,753 We're what they call a think tank, Lieutenant. 395 00:33:41,853 --> 00:33:46,091 Oh, a think tank. This is a think tank. That's what it is. 396 00:33:46,525 --> 00:33:47,459 Thank you. 397 00:33:49,461 --> 00:33:50,795 What do they think about? 398 00:33:50,929 --> 00:33:52,497 Our country's problems, Lieutenant. 399 00:33:52,764 --> 00:33:54,399 I'm sure Colonel Brailie will explain it to you. 400 00:33:54,499 --> 00:33:56,801 Right. Thank you, ma'am. 401 00:34:47,152 --> 00:34:48,720 Yes? What is it? 402 00:34:49,154 --> 00:34:51,556 Sorry. Wrong door. Excuse me. 403 00:34:55,727 --> 00:34:58,096 Having a look around, Lieutenant? Sorry to keep you waiting. 404 00:34:58,196 --> 00:35:02,000 Not at all, sir. This is a very interesting place. 405 00:35:02,100 --> 00:35:04,636 Well, come on. See what else might be interesting. 406 00:35:09,040 --> 00:35:11,276 Oh, Marcia, please remind Professor Gait, 407 00:35:11,376 --> 00:35:13,645 I'll need to see the Dalai Lama before my trip to Tibet. 408 00:35:13,745 --> 00:35:16,548 Yes, Colonel. Carl Peterson just called from Mali. 409 00:35:16,648 --> 00:35:19,417 Get him back. And ring through. No other calls. 410 00:35:20,752 --> 00:35:22,053 Come in, Lieutenant. 411 00:35:31,196 --> 00:35:35,500 Well, this is certainly a most interesting office. 412 00:35:35,600 --> 00:35:40,071 And your work, it sounds very intriguing, sir. 413 00:35:40,338 --> 00:35:43,308 Visiting Tibet, and phone calls from Mali. 414 00:35:43,808 --> 00:35:45,677 That's in Africa, isn't it, sir? 415 00:35:45,844 --> 00:35:47,078 It is, Lieutenant. 416 00:35:47,545 --> 00:35:48,880 You'll find it... 417 00:35:50,148 --> 00:35:52,384 right here. 418 00:35:54,152 --> 00:35:56,221 Oh, yeah, Mali. 419 00:35:56,454 --> 00:35:59,057 It's a very uncertain world, Lieutenant. 420 00:35:59,457 --> 00:36:03,028 Things happen unexpectedly, and even randomly. 421 00:36:03,561 --> 00:36:06,431 Our policies have to expect the unexpected. 422 00:36:06,698 --> 00:36:09,601 That's the sort of thing we think about here at the Foundation. 423 00:36:10,268 --> 00:36:13,805 You mean, the best plans, sir, sometimes go all wrong? 424 00:36:14,005 --> 00:36:16,574 Well, not the very best plans. 425 00:36:16,841 --> 00:36:20,078 Here we try to design perfect plans. 426 00:36:20,745 --> 00:36:22,414 Feel free to look around, Lieutenant. 427 00:36:24,682 --> 00:36:25,583 Yes? 428 00:36:26,051 --> 00:36:27,252 Put him through. 429 00:36:28,319 --> 00:36:29,320 Hello, Carl. 430 00:36:30,255 --> 00:36:32,557 Did you see the tanks yourself? 431 00:36:33,525 --> 00:36:36,828 Well, find them and count them. I'm not interested in the CIA report. 432 00:36:37,195 --> 00:36:38,563 Take care of yourself. 433 00:36:39,597 --> 00:36:41,566 Well, what have you found there, Lieutenant? 434 00:36:42,600 --> 00:36:44,536 Is this what I think it is? 435 00:36:44,803 --> 00:36:46,004 What do you think it is? 436 00:36:46,104 --> 00:36:49,240 Well, it looks like a human head all shrunken. 437 00:36:49,474 --> 00:36:52,510 It is indeed a shrunken human head... 438 00:36:52,977 --> 00:36:55,046 from the Jivaro Indians of Ecuador. 439 00:36:55,413 --> 00:36:58,316 He was a soldier killed in battle. 440 00:36:58,983 --> 00:37:02,854 Otherwise his head wouldn't have been all shrunken. 441 00:37:03,955 --> 00:37:06,257 I keep it as a soldier's warning. 442 00:37:06,591 --> 00:37:09,294 A single misstep in the face of my enemy, 443 00:37:09,728 --> 00:37:12,831 and I might end up like our unfortunate friend here. 444 00:37:13,198 --> 00:37:16,935 Right, sir. I guess we can say this fella, 445 00:37:17,469 --> 00:37:19,504 he's a lesson to all of us. 446 00:37:21,005 --> 00:37:24,042 Now, Lieutenant, how can I help you? Did you talk to our trainees? 447 00:37:24,175 --> 00:37:27,345 I did, sir, and I must say... 448 00:37:27,879 --> 00:37:29,214 I'm puzzled. 449 00:37:29,414 --> 00:37:30,615 What puzzles you? 450 00:37:30,715 --> 00:37:34,953 The kind of people they were. They just don't seem to go with all of this. 451 00:37:35,186 --> 00:37:37,856 The Foundation and the training battalion, 452 00:37:37,956 --> 00:37:39,891 they're very different, aren't they, sir? 453 00:37:40,091 --> 00:37:41,760 Different, indeed. 454 00:37:41,860 --> 00:37:45,830 Sophisticated scholars and roughneck romantics. 455 00:37:46,064 --> 00:37:48,466 Some of our people here call the training operation... 456 00:37:48,566 --> 00:37:50,935 our bargain-basement boutique. 457 00:37:51,469 --> 00:37:54,405 Still, the fees help finance our Foundation work. 458 00:37:54,506 --> 00:37:57,208 For the rest of it, we depend on donations. 459 00:37:58,209 --> 00:38:00,078 Is there something here you wanna show me? 460 00:38:00,411 --> 00:38:04,582 Oh, yes. Well, it's really just a question, Colonel Brailie. 461 00:38:04,816 --> 00:38:06,684 Mr. Keegan, the victim, 462 00:38:07,886 --> 00:38:11,289 was he unhappy with his work out there at the camp? 463 00:38:11,456 --> 00:38:14,793 Well, not that I know of. He never complained. Why do you ask? 464 00:38:16,060 --> 00:38:21,199 It's these pieces of paper, sir. I found them in Mr. Keegan's desk. 465 00:38:21,800 --> 00:38:25,737 An unexplained accident, sir. We're supposed to look around like that. 466 00:38:26,004 --> 00:38:27,438 Yes, I'm sure you are. 467 00:38:27,639 --> 00:38:30,742 They're all from the want-ads sections of the newspapers. 468 00:38:30,842 --> 00:38:33,778 Help wanted. All help-wanted ads. 469 00:38:34,279 --> 00:38:37,148 Like Mr. Keegan was thinking of changing jobs. 470 00:38:37,515 --> 00:38:39,684 All different jobs. 471 00:38:40,285 --> 00:38:42,020 "Limousine drivers wanted." 472 00:38:42,120 --> 00:38:45,156 "Employment opportunities in Saudi Arabia." 473 00:38:45,490 --> 00:38:48,426 "Gun shop needs expert clerk." 474 00:38:48,860 --> 00:38:51,429 "Careers in security services." 475 00:38:51,529 --> 00:38:53,064 Odd jobs like that. 476 00:38:53,298 --> 00:38:54,566 And the dates. 477 00:38:55,466 --> 00:38:56,668 Here, sir. 478 00:38:57,302 --> 00:38:59,871 The dates are all in sequence. 479 00:39:00,104 --> 00:39:06,144 Like Mr. Keegan was looking every single day until last Monday. 480 00:39:06,611 --> 00:39:09,514 Then it stopped. No more ads. 481 00:39:09,981 --> 00:39:13,818 You see, sir? Do you see how the dates run out? 482 00:39:14,285 --> 00:39:16,621 Mmm-hmm. I see, Lieutenant. 483 00:39:17,589 --> 00:39:18,790 What's your point? 484 00:39:18,890 --> 00:39:24,329 Well, here's a man, he's looking in the newspapers for a new job. 485 00:39:24,462 --> 00:39:29,901 He's looking every day. He's looking and marking the ads. 486 00:39:30,401 --> 00:39:33,504 Then six days ago, everything changes. 487 00:39:33,605 --> 00:39:36,841 He stops looking. No more ads. 488 00:39:37,242 --> 00:39:41,145 I gotta ask myself, what happened last Monday? 489 00:39:42,013 --> 00:39:45,350 What changed in Mr. Keegan's life last Monday? 490 00:39:45,750 --> 00:39:47,652 Can you think of anything, sir? 491 00:39:48,286 --> 00:39:49,454 I can't imagine, Lieutenant. 492 00:39:49,554 --> 00:39:52,557 I only visited the camp when new classes began and ended. 493 00:39:54,892 --> 00:39:57,562 Do you think he could have found a new job? 494 00:39:58,396 --> 00:40:02,133 I can't conceive Lester even looking for another job. 495 00:40:02,634 --> 00:40:05,970 Well, we can't read the man's mind, can we, sir? 496 00:40:06,504 --> 00:40:10,608 All right. Well, thank you very much for your help. I'll just be running along. 497 00:40:12,243 --> 00:40:16,281 He never talked to you about a raise, money, anything like that? 498 00:40:16,381 --> 00:40:17,782 Nothing like that. 499 00:40:18,016 --> 00:40:21,719 Lester was perfectly happy with his life when I saw him yesterday morning. 500 00:40:22,220 --> 00:40:24,789 What could this possibly have to do with his accident? 501 00:40:24,889 --> 00:40:27,292 Exactly, sir. That's my point. 502 00:40:27,659 --> 00:40:33,264 Here we have an accident on our hands. My report is gonna call this an accident. 503 00:40:33,364 --> 00:40:36,834 And there we go, we're complicating it with a lot of questions. 504 00:40:36,934 --> 00:40:40,071 The paperwork, it's gonna go on forever, 505 00:40:40,171 --> 00:40:44,609 unless we just learn to forget about these little questions. 506 00:40:44,709 --> 00:40:47,378 All right, sir. Well, thank you again. 507 00:40:47,879 --> 00:40:49,681 – Good day, Lieutenant. – Good day, sir. 508 00:40:52,383 --> 00:40:53,551 Those sticks, sir. 509 00:40:53,685 --> 00:40:54,952 Excuse me? 510 00:40:59,324 --> 00:41:00,858 These sticks. 511 00:41:01,959 --> 00:41:05,596 Those people sitting on the floor in that room down there, 512 00:41:05,997 --> 00:41:08,199 they were shaking sticks just like these. 513 00:41:08,299 --> 00:41:10,001 Yes, they're I Ching sticks. 514 00:41:10,101 --> 00:41:12,303 An ancient Chinese way of divining the future. 515 00:41:12,403 --> 00:41:15,106 You mean, people use these for fortune-telling? 516 00:41:16,240 --> 00:41:21,212 Well, it's all rather mystical. One shakes the container like this, 517 00:41:21,779 --> 00:41:23,848 and eventually, 518 00:41:25,016 --> 00:41:29,354 one of them falls out like this. 519 00:41:30,688 --> 00:41:33,725 See, and each stick has its own unique markings. 520 00:41:33,825 --> 00:41:34,792 These lines here. 521 00:41:35,827 --> 00:41:38,496 You look up the meaning in the I Ching book. 522 00:41:38,596 --> 00:41:40,765 You know, what the future holds, how to deal with your life, 523 00:41:40,865 --> 00:41:42,467 what decisions to make. 524 00:41:43,701 --> 00:41:45,169 All from just this stick? 525 00:41:45,269 --> 00:41:46,637 All from that stick. 526 00:41:46,871 --> 00:41:51,776 Of course, it all depends on some pretty hazy interpretation. 527 00:41:52,710 --> 00:41:55,480 We do these studies to try to understand the... 528 00:41:55,580 --> 00:41:58,116 processes of Chinese decision-making. 529 00:41:59,016 --> 00:42:03,187 For instance, I happen to know that this is the Ming Yi symbol. 530 00:42:03,321 --> 00:42:04,822 What would that mean, sir? 531 00:42:05,089 --> 00:42:09,160 Well, it could mean, among other things, that a woman is sitting on a well, 532 00:42:09,260 --> 00:42:12,296 and that's been interpreted as a warning against a trap. 533 00:42:12,397 --> 00:42:13,097 Right. 534 00:42:13,197 --> 00:42:17,335 A woman on a well. That's a trap. I can see that. 535 00:42:17,435 --> 00:42:19,804 I'm gonna tell that one to Mrs. Columbo. 536 00:42:19,904 --> 00:42:23,775 Well, you've been very kind, Colonel, and I won't intrude any longer. 537 00:42:23,875 --> 00:42:24,909 Not at all. 538 00:42:27,845 --> 00:42:31,115 And we both better guard ourselves against traps, sir, 539 00:42:31,215 --> 00:42:33,418 or we're liable to lose our heads. 540 00:42:33,518 --> 00:42:34,719 Bye again. 541 00:42:45,596 --> 00:42:47,131 One more thing, sir. 542 00:42:47,498 --> 00:42:50,268 I'll show you how I find these little problems, 543 00:42:50,568 --> 00:42:53,471 that I really shouldn't even be looking for. 544 00:42:54,305 --> 00:42:57,842 I put it here somewhere. I know I got it. 545 00:43:00,445 --> 00:43:02,413 Well, it seems like I don't have it. 546 00:43:03,581 --> 00:43:05,349 Oh, no, here it is. 547 00:43:05,516 --> 00:43:07,218 Over here by the light, sir. 548 00:43:10,188 --> 00:43:12,056 You see this, Colonel Brailie? 549 00:43:12,290 --> 00:43:14,025 Yes. It looks like dirt, Lieutenant. 550 00:43:14,125 --> 00:43:17,095 Lots of dirt, bits of leaves, little twigs. 551 00:43:17,195 --> 00:43:20,331 Found jammed up under Mr. Keegan's collar. 552 00:43:20,498 --> 00:43:23,301 Lots of dirt, bits of leaves... 553 00:43:23,868 --> 00:43:25,036 And twigs. 554 00:43:25,336 --> 00:43:26,637 Little twigs. 555 00:43:27,738 --> 00:43:29,307 What do you think of that, sir? 556 00:43:29,640 --> 00:43:32,543 Obviously blown under his collar by the explosion. 557 00:43:32,777 --> 00:43:36,681 But when the explosion went off, he was lying face down. 558 00:43:36,781 --> 00:43:40,718 His chest was all blown in. Excuse me for saying that. 559 00:43:41,185 --> 00:43:46,290 So how could all this dirt get back here, underneath his collar? 560 00:43:48,593 --> 00:43:50,194 What do you make of it, Lieutenant? 561 00:43:50,561 --> 00:43:56,501 Well, it's like the victim was being dragged through the dirt on his back. 562 00:43:56,901 --> 00:44:00,905 Like somebody was dragging Mr. Keegan by his arms, 563 00:44:01,739 --> 00:44:04,375 and his collar was scooping up all the dirt. 564 00:44:05,309 --> 00:44:08,279 You see how that can confuse my accident report? 565 00:44:08,613 --> 00:44:10,548 Yes, you have my sympathies. 566 00:44:11,983 --> 00:44:15,720 Still, I can tell you from battlefield experience, 567 00:44:16,387 --> 00:44:19,657 an explosion can produce random results. 568 00:44:20,691 --> 00:44:23,761 I think the explosion would account for the dirt. 569 00:44:24,228 --> 00:44:27,064 Then that's what I'm gonna say in my report. 570 00:44:31,068 --> 00:44:32,670 Explosion, 571 00:44:33,704 --> 00:44:36,107 random results. 572 00:44:36,307 --> 00:44:38,276 This is gonna be very helpful. 573 00:44:38,376 --> 00:44:40,211 Colonel Brailie, General Padget's on the phone. 574 00:44:40,311 --> 00:44:42,380 I'll take it at my desk. Goodbye, Lieutenant. 575 00:44:42,480 --> 00:44:44,815 He wants to talk to Lieutenant Columbo. 576 00:44:45,616 --> 00:44:46,751 Talk to me? 577 00:44:48,185 --> 00:44:49,120 General Padget? 578 00:44:49,220 --> 00:44:50,821 General Padget on the line. 579 00:45:00,398 --> 00:45:02,466 General Padget. Sir. 580 00:45:22,687 --> 00:45:26,991 Okay, I'm gonna put you in charge. You take care of the car. 581 00:45:27,091 --> 00:45:29,360 You're a responsible dog. 582 00:45:29,460 --> 00:45:33,264 When I get back, if the car's okay, I'll give you another cookie. 583 00:45:33,364 --> 00:45:38,536 If the car's gone, I give you another cookie anyway, 'cause I love you. 584 00:45:45,142 --> 00:45:46,177 With a knick-knack paddywhack 585 00:45:46,277 --> 00:45:47,812 Give a dog a bone 586 00:45:54,585 --> 00:45:58,055 Excuse me, ma'am. Lieutenant Columbo. The General's expecting me. 587 00:45:58,155 --> 00:46:00,591 Yes, of course. I'm Jenny Padget. 588 00:46:01,592 --> 00:46:03,194 Is that your car, Lieutenant? 589 00:46:03,628 --> 00:46:06,163 Yes, ma'am. Afraid it needs a wash now. 590 00:46:06,864 --> 00:46:11,435 I had one like that once, a long, long time ago. 591 00:46:11,502 --> 00:46:13,170 Well, you should've held onto it, ma'am. 592 00:46:13,237 --> 00:46:17,308 That car, that's a collector's item now. Lovely thing, isn't it? 593 00:46:17,775 --> 00:46:20,645 Yes. Lovely, indeed. Please, come in. 594 00:46:20,745 --> 00:46:23,748 My husband's back in the pool house. 595 00:46:32,556 --> 00:46:33,591 Come in. 596 00:46:37,695 --> 00:46:39,230 Excuse me, sir. 597 00:46:39,730 --> 00:46:40,564 Columbo? 598 00:46:40,665 --> 00:46:41,532 Right. 599 00:46:41,699 --> 00:46:42,667 Padget. 600 00:46:43,034 --> 00:46:45,469 Well, come on in. I'm not gonna go all the way over there. 601 00:46:47,471 --> 00:46:49,407 Well, what do you think of this? 602 00:46:50,708 --> 00:46:51,642 A birthday present. 603 00:46:52,243 --> 00:46:54,345 You know what all this is, Lieutenant? 604 00:46:54,512 --> 00:46:56,414 Could this be Gettysburg? 605 00:46:56,981 --> 00:46:58,449 Cemetery Ridge? 606 00:46:59,250 --> 00:47:01,218 What do you know about Cemetery Ridge? 607 00:47:01,318 --> 00:47:03,821 Well, it's not me so much as my nephew. 608 00:47:04,088 --> 00:47:06,857 He belongs to one of those groups that get together to fight all the battles... 609 00:47:06,957 --> 00:47:08,592 from the Civil War books. 610 00:47:08,693 --> 00:47:11,495 This is certainly some beauty. 611 00:47:11,896 --> 00:47:13,431 Pickett's Charge. 612 00:47:14,098 --> 00:47:16,400 On orders from General Longstreet. 613 00:47:16,600 --> 00:47:21,539 Half a day late and the battle is lost. Longstreet's fatal flaw. 614 00:47:21,972 --> 00:47:25,509 Well, the fatal flaw, sir, I always thought it was shoes. 615 00:47:26,477 --> 00:47:27,545 Excuse me? 616 00:47:27,912 --> 00:47:30,214 There was a shoe factory in Gettysburg. 617 00:47:30,414 --> 00:47:33,384 If General Lee hadn't needed shoes for his men, 618 00:47:33,484 --> 00:47:36,887 there may never have been a Battle of Gettysburg. 619 00:47:37,288 --> 00:47:38,222 Well, 620 00:47:39,256 --> 00:47:41,025 I'll be damned. 621 00:47:42,326 --> 00:47:45,830 You're a good man, Lieutenant. You know things. A pleasure to meet you. 622 00:47:45,930 --> 00:47:51,435 And it's a real privilege to meet you, sir, and to see how you set this table up. 623 00:47:51,535 --> 00:47:54,972 Oh, I didn't set it up. Frank Brailie did that last night. 624 00:47:55,873 --> 00:47:57,475 Those are the books, sir? 625 00:48:02,446 --> 00:48:04,582 "Lincoln and His Generals." 626 00:48:05,750 --> 00:48:08,185 "Bluebellies and Johnny Reb." 627 00:48:08,519 --> 00:48:10,054 That's the one. That's the great one. 628 00:48:10,354 --> 00:48:11,856 That's a classic. 629 00:48:13,724 --> 00:48:16,026 "The Gray Runs Red." 630 00:48:17,294 --> 00:48:19,330 This is some collection. 631 00:48:19,497 --> 00:48:23,934 A gift from my wife. The whole thing was a gift from Jenny. 632 00:48:26,871 --> 00:48:28,005 Look at this. 633 00:48:31,442 --> 00:48:33,077 A Union soldier. 634 00:48:33,744 --> 00:48:37,014 He retreated too far. Where are we gonna put him? 635 00:48:37,281 --> 00:48:40,851 How about with the artillery, over here on Little Round Top? 636 00:48:40,951 --> 00:48:43,954 Why don't we help out General Hancock? You put it here. 637 00:48:44,989 --> 00:48:47,358 Well, sir, you're the general. 638 00:48:48,259 --> 00:48:49,260 There. 639 00:48:50,661 --> 00:48:57,067 But I don't think that you invited me over here to help fight the Civil War. 640 00:48:59,170 --> 00:49:00,037 You're right. 641 00:49:00,438 --> 00:49:03,274 We lost a good man last night. 642 00:49:04,041 --> 00:49:05,643 A stupid accident. 643 00:49:08,012 --> 00:49:11,282 He was on my own payroll, so to speak. 644 00:49:13,050 --> 00:49:16,587 You wanna know the truth? I don't know beans about our accounting. 645 00:49:16,687 --> 00:49:20,191 I told that to Sergeant Major Keegan a few days ago. 646 00:49:20,291 --> 00:49:22,593 He was standing right where you're standing. 647 00:49:23,861 --> 00:49:26,397 Would that have been on Monday, sir? 648 00:49:26,664 --> 00:49:29,333 Well, as a matter of fact, it was. 649 00:49:29,433 --> 00:49:31,235 Well, in that case, sir, 650 00:49:31,702 --> 00:49:36,340 I'll ask you what you and Mr. Keegan talked about on Monday. 651 00:49:37,908 --> 00:49:40,377 Lieutenant, I'm going to trust you. 652 00:49:41,779 --> 00:49:46,584 I asked him to be my eyes and my ears, do me a little favor. 653 00:49:47,418 --> 00:49:49,987 I might not know too much about accounting, 654 00:49:50,855 --> 00:49:54,124 but I do know millions of Foundation dollars... 655 00:49:54,225 --> 00:49:59,663 have dribbled down into some rat hole called Special Projects Fund. 656 00:50:01,165 --> 00:50:04,435 Now, Frank Brailie finally gave me that report... 657 00:50:04,535 --> 00:50:07,304 on the Special Projects Fund yesterday. 658 00:50:07,404 --> 00:50:11,275 Been after him for weeks. It was like pulling teeth. 659 00:50:11,909 --> 00:50:14,645 Not the way Colonel Brailie usually does things. 660 00:50:15,813 --> 00:50:17,848 Anyway, last Monday, 661 00:50:19,250 --> 00:50:22,620 I asked Sergeant Major Keegan to look into all of that for me, 662 00:50:22,720 --> 00:50:25,189 to find out what was going on. 663 00:50:25,289 --> 00:50:27,625 Good man. He knows his business, 664 00:50:27,725 --> 00:50:29,960 just like I think you know your business. 665 00:50:30,661 --> 00:50:32,997 Well, I never heard from him again. 666 00:50:33,697 --> 00:50:34,965 A real tragedy. 667 00:50:36,634 --> 00:50:38,669 Got the report here, anyway, for what it's worth. 668 00:50:40,170 --> 00:50:42,940 Does that answer your question about what happened last Monday? 669 00:50:43,307 --> 00:50:45,409 In a manner of speaking, sir. 670 00:50:46,210 --> 00:50:51,682 May I ask you, what exactly is the Special Projects Fund? 671 00:50:51,782 --> 00:50:55,085 Well, it's a catchall for everything that isn't nailed down. 672 00:50:55,719 --> 00:51:01,492 Our own intelligence operations around the world, special grants abroad, 673 00:51:01,659 --> 00:51:05,095 anything that's around, according to this report. 674 00:51:07,131 --> 00:51:09,500 Now, I'm gonna ask you a favor, Lieutenant. 675 00:51:10,000 --> 00:51:13,370 You're looking around about the camp. Keegan's life, Keegan's effects. 676 00:51:14,772 --> 00:51:19,710 You find any odds and ends about the Special Projects report, 677 00:51:19,810 --> 00:51:22,980 you keep me informed. You think you can do that for me? 678 00:51:23,614 --> 00:51:27,051 Anything I can do for General Jack Padget, 679 00:51:27,618 --> 00:51:30,354 that would be my own personal pleasure. 680 00:51:31,422 --> 00:51:34,825 Why don't we stop this mutual buttering-up, 681 00:51:35,592 --> 00:51:37,928 and see if we can't help each other? 682 00:51:38,796 --> 00:51:39,797 Okay? 683 00:51:40,864 --> 00:51:46,637 Good. Before you go, I want you to stick this in your pocket. 684 00:51:48,405 --> 00:51:50,708 It's your soldier. You found this. 685 00:51:51,041 --> 00:51:51,942 Here. 686 00:51:52,776 --> 00:51:58,182 Give you an excuse to come back again. If you don't, I'll claim you stole it. 687 00:51:58,916 --> 00:52:02,119 Right, sir. And I certainly will be back. 688 00:52:06,090 --> 00:52:07,958 You can count on that, sir. 689 00:53:08,686 --> 00:53:09,620 Lieutenant? 690 00:53:18,729 --> 00:53:21,965 I was picking up my cleaning. They gave me Sergeant Major Keegan's stuff. 691 00:53:22,299 --> 00:53:23,667 I didn't know what to do with it. 692 00:53:23,767 --> 00:53:25,102 I'll take it for you. 693 00:53:27,871 --> 00:53:31,909 Sergeant, do you like your work here? 694 00:53:32,843 --> 00:53:33,911 It's a job. 695 00:53:34,378 --> 00:53:37,881 Sergeant Major Keegan, did he like his work here? 696 00:53:38,916 --> 00:53:40,117 He never said. 697 00:53:43,754 --> 00:53:45,022 Good night, Sergeant. 698 00:53:45,322 --> 00:53:46,590 Good night, Lieutenant. 699 00:55:07,471 --> 00:55:11,975 Colonel Brailie. Well, this is some surprise, sir. 700 00:55:12,376 --> 00:55:17,881 I was looking for a Mr. Dunstan. A Mr. L. Dunstan, apartment 2A. 701 00:55:17,981 --> 00:55:20,317 Yes, Lieutenant, this is indeed apartment 2A. 702 00:55:20,417 --> 00:55:21,718 Is there something I can do for you? 703 00:55:21,818 --> 00:55:25,923 Careful, sir. You almost spilt that. I promise, it'll only take a minute. 704 00:55:29,927 --> 00:55:34,464 What a remarkable coincidence. Would you be visiting Mr. Dunstan? 705 00:55:36,066 --> 00:55:38,802 Would it astonish you to learn that Mr. Dunstan, Mr. L. Dunstan, 706 00:55:38,902 --> 00:55:40,804 and myself are exactly the same person? 707 00:55:40,904 --> 00:55:43,907 That's you, sir? You're Mr. Dunstan? 708 00:55:44,842 --> 00:55:47,444 I don't mean to be inhospitable, Lieutenant, 709 00:55:47,544 --> 00:55:49,279 but I'm expecting a guest at any moment. 710 00:55:49,379 --> 00:55:51,849 Of course, sir. I should have known. 711 00:55:51,949 --> 00:55:55,185 The wine and the music. I'd have to say a lady. 712 00:55:55,285 --> 00:55:57,421 Exactly. Now, if you'll excuse me... 713 00:55:57,554 --> 00:56:01,592 A private place for romantic meetings. 714 00:56:01,825 --> 00:56:04,561 That's why Mr. Dunstan keeps this apartment. 715 00:56:04,661 --> 00:56:06,230 You have my confession. 716 00:56:06,330 --> 00:56:08,899 Well, I certainly understand, Colonel. 717 00:56:10,801 --> 00:56:16,139 Except, I must admit I'm a bit confused. I thought somewhere... 718 00:56:17,541 --> 00:56:19,042 Bear with me, sir. 719 00:56:19,743 --> 00:56:21,245 Right. Here it is. 720 00:56:21,345 --> 00:56:24,248 Don't you have a lovely home in Sherman Oaks, sir? 721 00:56:24,348 --> 00:56:26,683 Lieutenant, we all know there are moments when... 722 00:56:26,750 --> 00:56:28,585 it's more discreet not to be at home. 723 00:56:28,852 --> 00:56:31,588 Ah, right, Colonel, more discreet. 724 00:56:31,688 --> 00:56:34,191 Well, that certainly explains that. 725 00:56:34,424 --> 00:56:35,659 But then, 726 00:56:37,027 --> 00:56:38,996 you're not a married man, are you, sir? 727 00:56:39,096 --> 00:56:41,331 Why would you worry about being discreet? 728 00:56:41,431 --> 00:56:44,401 No, I'm not married, but the lady... 729 00:56:44,501 --> 00:56:48,138 Ah, of course. It's really none of my business. 730 00:56:48,238 --> 00:56:49,740 And she'll be along any minute. 731 00:56:52,476 --> 00:56:55,012 I know exactly what you're thinking, sir. 732 00:56:55,112 --> 00:56:59,316 You're wondering why I came looking for Mr. Dunstan in the first place. 733 00:56:59,416 --> 00:57:00,951 Just too polite to ask. 734 00:57:01,051 --> 00:57:04,621 It's the victim, sir, Mr. Keegan. Here, I'll show you. 735 00:57:05,722 --> 00:57:09,426 I found Mr. Dunstan's name and address... 736 00:57:09,526 --> 00:57:12,129 in Mr. Keegan's... Oh, here it is. 737 00:57:12,229 --> 00:57:14,431 Yes, in Mr. Keegan's quarters. 738 00:57:16,600 --> 00:57:19,503 Did you know that Mr. Keegan knew about this apartment? 739 00:57:20,270 --> 00:57:23,774 No, as a matter of fact I didn't know. Lieutenant, I don't mean to rush you. 740 00:57:24,207 --> 00:57:28,312 You didn't know and he knew? Well, how did he find out? 741 00:57:29,046 --> 00:57:32,849 Sir, do you think he could have been following you? 742 00:57:33,583 --> 00:57:35,452 I can't imagine that Lester would be following me. 743 00:57:35,552 --> 00:57:37,854 Lieutenant, don't you think that you're intruding a little more deeply... 744 00:57:37,955 --> 00:57:39,690 on my personal life than the situation warrants? 745 00:57:39,790 --> 00:57:42,826 Well, sir, we hate to intrude like this, 746 00:57:43,393 --> 00:57:46,463 but now we have to consider Mr. Keegan's flashlight. 747 00:57:47,497 --> 00:57:48,699 His flashlight? 748 00:57:49,833 --> 00:57:51,435 His flashlight, sir. 749 00:57:52,436 --> 00:57:54,371 The night Mr. Keegan died. 750 00:57:57,207 --> 00:57:58,742 Do you see the problem? 751 00:58:02,312 --> 00:58:03,447 To the window. 752 00:58:10,654 --> 00:58:12,756 You see where we found the flashlight? 753 00:58:13,090 --> 00:58:14,925 Underneath this lip of rock, sir, 754 00:58:15,025 --> 00:58:18,095 like an anvil hanging over the flashlight. 755 00:58:18,195 --> 00:58:21,164 Now, how did the flashlight end up under that rock like that? 756 00:58:22,065 --> 00:58:23,734 The explosion... 757 00:58:24,201 --> 00:58:27,371 Uh, we'll see if I can make this clear, sir. 758 00:58:27,637 --> 00:58:30,040 This is the explosive pit. 759 00:58:30,407 --> 00:58:34,411 Now, the explosion couldn't have blown it over here. 760 00:58:35,245 --> 00:58:38,615 This is the rock, sir. And this is the lip. 761 00:58:39,049 --> 00:58:43,320 How did the flashlight end up here underneath the lip? 762 00:58:43,787 --> 00:58:45,389 How did it get there? 763 00:58:45,822 --> 00:58:48,025 Your point seems a bit strained, Lieutenant. 764 00:58:48,759 --> 00:58:50,494 Well, sir, flashlights, 765 00:58:50,761 --> 00:58:53,497 they don't go flying around all by themselves. 766 00:58:54,164 --> 00:58:57,000 Not dirt and leaves under Mr. Keegan's collar, 767 00:58:57,100 --> 00:58:58,735 and not flashlights. 768 00:58:58,835 --> 00:59:01,271 That's why we did a second autopsy. 769 00:59:02,005 --> 00:59:05,509 Lieutenant, you seemed quite certain all of this was an accident. 770 00:59:05,742 --> 00:59:09,613 Well, sir, nobody wanted it to be an accident more than me. 771 00:59:09,813 --> 00:59:10,680 Murder? 772 00:59:10,781 --> 00:59:15,018 You wouldn't even wanna think about the amount of paperwork for murder. 773 00:59:15,118 --> 00:59:16,086 Murder? 774 00:59:16,186 --> 00:59:18,555 Well, it certainly was a murder, sir. 775 00:59:19,056 --> 00:59:20,824 The second autopsy. 776 00:59:21,091 --> 00:59:23,760 We found a knife wound in Mr. Keegan's heart, 777 00:59:23,860 --> 00:59:25,595 where he was stabbed. 778 00:59:25,896 --> 00:59:29,699 I'm sorry, sir. We have to face that now. 779 00:59:32,736 --> 00:59:33,870 I see. 780 00:59:36,740 --> 00:59:39,543 It all seems so inconceivable. 781 00:59:40,777 --> 00:59:45,382 Poor Lester stabbed to death while I enjoyed myself with the General. 782 00:59:46,249 --> 00:59:49,219 So many violent men in the camp that night. 783 01:00:08,338 --> 01:00:09,773 Well, we'll just have to leave all these things... 784 01:00:09,873 --> 01:00:11,675 in your capable hands, Lieutenant. 785 01:00:11,775 --> 01:00:13,376 Good luck with your paperwork. 786 01:00:13,777 --> 01:00:15,645 We'll just have to manage, sir. 787 01:00:15,812 --> 01:00:18,949 I'm sure you have a lot of other things to think about. 788 01:00:20,717 --> 01:00:24,187 Oh, Colonel, would you mind if I used your washroom? 789 01:00:24,287 --> 01:00:26,089 Lieutenant, I do have an engagement. 790 01:00:26,189 --> 01:00:27,958 I'll just be a minute, sir. 791 01:01:10,233 --> 01:01:12,669 Is there anything else I can do for you, Lieutenant? 792 01:01:13,303 --> 01:01:15,572 No. No, sir. I can't think of a thing. 793 01:01:15,772 --> 01:01:17,374 No, I'll be running along. 794 01:01:18,041 --> 01:01:19,976 We'll be talking again soon, Colonel. 795 01:01:20,076 --> 01:01:21,311 I'm sure we will. 796 01:01:23,179 --> 01:01:25,182 Try and have a pleasant afternoon. 797 01:01:35,759 --> 01:01:37,060 Right then it was touch and go. 798 01:01:37,193 --> 01:01:39,996 Colonel Brailie would have settled for the soldiers without the books. 799 01:01:40,096 --> 01:01:43,700 But the books without the soldiers? There goes the big surprise. 800 01:01:43,800 --> 01:01:46,570 Well, it sounds like a remarkable evening. 801 01:01:46,670 --> 01:01:49,339 And this is certainly a remarkable sherry. 802 01:01:49,439 --> 01:01:51,074 The General's best, sir. 803 01:01:51,241 --> 01:01:52,642 Lieutenant Columbo? 804 01:01:53,009 --> 01:01:53,944 Ma'am. 805 01:01:54,177 --> 01:01:56,279 I see Warren's been taking care of you. 806 01:01:56,379 --> 01:01:58,114 Even telling me stories, ma'am. 807 01:01:59,015 --> 01:02:00,750 Come and join me over here. 808 01:02:03,687 --> 01:02:05,222 May I pour you a cup of tea, Lieutenant? 809 01:02:05,322 --> 01:02:08,191 Well, if it's all the same, Mrs. Padget, I'll just enjoy my sherry. 810 01:02:08,291 --> 01:02:09,092 Please do. 811 01:02:09,192 --> 01:02:12,829 I'll only take up a minute of your time, ma'am, on my way to visit your husband. 812 01:02:13,196 --> 01:02:15,265 Well, this is very nice. 813 01:02:17,367 --> 01:02:21,838 When a policeman comes calling, I'm sure it can't be all that nice. 814 01:02:23,173 --> 01:02:26,810 Mr. Keegan's accident, the Sergeant Major, 815 01:02:27,544 --> 01:02:31,748 he was murdered, ma'am. We know that now for a fact. 816 01:02:35,051 --> 01:02:38,221 That's a very brutal fact, Lieutenant. 817 01:02:43,994 --> 01:02:46,263 This sherry is delicious, ma'am. 818 01:02:46,830 --> 01:02:48,798 Even the glass is beautiful. 819 01:02:50,467 --> 01:02:54,337 You see the glass, the four frosted stars? 820 01:02:56,439 --> 01:03:00,977 It's like all that crystal over there in that cabinet, for a four-star general. 821 01:03:01,311 --> 01:03:03,213 They were a gift from the Army. 822 01:03:05,415 --> 01:03:08,618 I saw a glass like this earlier today, Mrs. Padget, 823 01:03:10,820 --> 01:03:13,790 in an apartment kept by Frank Brailie, 824 01:03:14,190 --> 01:03:17,093 for what you might call intimate occasions. 825 01:03:18,228 --> 01:03:22,265 With a woman. He was expecting her. 826 01:03:22,766 --> 01:03:24,301 A married woman. 827 01:03:24,968 --> 01:03:30,173 Am I to understand that you're implying some insulting connection... 828 01:03:30,273 --> 01:03:36,246 between me and a wine glass and some love nest of Frank Brailie's? 829 01:03:37,247 --> 01:03:40,283 Well, four stars, that's very unusual, ma'am. 830 01:03:40,383 --> 01:03:42,886 Like... You'll forgive me. 831 01:03:43,820 --> 01:03:48,525 Like special wine glasses that a woman brings to a furnished apartment. 832 01:03:49,826 --> 01:03:52,195 You'll forgive me, Lieutenant. 833 01:03:52,662 --> 01:03:54,030 On any number of occasions... 834 01:03:54,130 --> 01:03:56,599 Frank Brailie could have taken those glasses from my home. 835 01:03:56,700 --> 01:04:00,870 He could have borrowed them, stolen them, treated them as a gift. 836 01:04:01,204 --> 01:04:05,542 I have no intention of continuing this offensive inquisition. 837 01:04:07,010 --> 01:04:09,346 Don't make me stop you, ma'am. 838 01:04:17,921 --> 01:04:19,756 If you'll look at this, please. 839 01:04:20,824 --> 01:04:23,359 It's one of those traveling toothbrushes... 840 01:04:23,460 --> 01:04:26,296 from Mr. Brailie's bathroom in the apartment. 841 01:04:27,130 --> 01:04:29,366 And the fingerprints, Mrs. Padget... 842 01:04:30,800 --> 01:04:35,004 Everybody's fingerprints are on file, most everybody. 843 01:04:36,272 --> 01:04:39,175 Would you want me to say whose fingerprints we found on this? 844 01:04:39,275 --> 01:04:40,377 No. 845 01:04:41,244 --> 01:04:43,046 That won't be necessary. 846 01:04:45,849 --> 01:04:49,219 Why, in the name of God, are you doing this? 847 01:04:49,452 --> 01:04:50,987 I'm sorry, ma'am. 848 01:04:51,488 --> 01:04:53,456 There'll just be a few more questions. 849 01:05:00,130 --> 01:05:04,033 Were you aware that Mr. Keegan knew about the secret apartment? 850 01:05:04,567 --> 01:05:05,435 No. 851 01:05:07,937 --> 01:05:09,172 Nobody knew. 852 01:05:09,672 --> 01:05:11,241 Mr. Keegan knew. 853 01:05:11,841 --> 01:05:13,343 And now he's dead. 854 01:05:14,577 --> 01:05:16,112 What I need, ma'am... 855 01:05:16,513 --> 01:05:18,681 Was there anything else, 856 01:05:19,115 --> 01:05:21,551 any other kind of secret he might have known? 857 01:05:22,285 --> 01:05:24,087 Maybe about the Foundation? 858 01:05:24,387 --> 01:05:28,591 The Special Projects report? Anything you could help me with. 859 01:05:28,691 --> 01:05:29,559 No. 860 01:05:31,561 --> 01:05:35,298 My husband was interested in the Special Projects report. 861 01:05:37,066 --> 01:05:38,468 That's all I know. 862 01:05:39,269 --> 01:05:41,004 Well, that's it then, ma'am. 863 01:05:41,671 --> 01:05:44,140 I'll just take this way to the pool house. 864 01:05:48,678 --> 01:05:49,913 Lieutenant. 865 01:05:54,017 --> 01:05:55,451 When you speak with my husband, 866 01:05:55,552 --> 01:05:58,354 will you find it necessary to mention any of this? 867 01:06:00,957 --> 01:06:02,192 No, ma'am. 868 01:06:03,793 --> 01:06:05,061 Good night, ma'am. 869 01:06:19,309 --> 01:06:21,044 Lieutenant Columbo, sir. 870 01:06:21,244 --> 01:06:22,412 Come on in. 871 01:06:24,380 --> 01:06:26,749 Lieutenant. I'll be with you in a moment. 872 01:06:26,850 --> 01:06:28,585 You just carry on, sir. 873 01:06:29,786 --> 01:06:31,321 The French have a saying, Lieutenant. 874 01:06:31,421 --> 01:06:33,923 "The older you get, the worse things are." 875 01:06:34,023 --> 01:06:36,226 Self-pitying nonsense. 876 01:06:36,960 --> 01:06:41,030 But at my age, I find myself writing too many letters of condolences to... 877 01:06:41,431 --> 01:06:44,467 the bereaved widows of clam-brained generals... 878 01:06:44,567 --> 01:06:47,904 I never cared for in the first place. 879 01:06:48,671 --> 01:06:50,807 I suppose that makes me a hypocrite. 880 01:06:51,140 --> 01:06:53,443 That's another word for good manners. 881 01:06:54,644 --> 01:06:56,679 What news have you brought me? 882 01:06:56,779 --> 01:06:59,015 Well, it's about Mr. Keegan, sir. 883 01:06:59,716 --> 01:07:01,985 Anything about the Special Projects report? 884 01:07:02,785 --> 01:07:07,257 No, nothing like that, General. No sign of anything like that. 885 01:07:10,226 --> 01:07:12,896 But that brings up the subject of your own feelings, sir, 886 01:07:12,996 --> 01:07:15,098 your interest in this report. 887 01:07:15,732 --> 01:07:17,533 A place like the Foundation. 888 01:07:17,634 --> 01:07:20,670 There must be plenty of reports you never get to read. 889 01:07:21,671 --> 01:07:26,209 Maybe you can tell me what's so special about the Special Projects report. 890 01:07:31,748 --> 01:07:34,217 And if I choose not to answer your question? 891 01:07:34,751 --> 01:07:37,153 Well, sir, it's a policeman's question. 892 01:07:37,754 --> 01:07:39,789 We expect to get our answers. 893 01:07:43,426 --> 01:07:45,828 The Special Projects Fund is discretionary, 894 01:07:45,929 --> 01:07:48,498 and I wasn't aware of that until recently. 895 01:07:49,132 --> 01:07:51,668 When you deal with other people's discretion, 896 01:07:51,768 --> 01:07:54,771 that leaves a hole for the devil to pop up. 897 01:07:54,871 --> 01:07:58,308 And I think perhaps he's already poked his nose out. 898 01:07:59,676 --> 01:08:01,678 Do you mind if I took a look at this, sir? 899 01:08:02,011 --> 01:08:05,581 Well, it's hardly necessary for an accident investigation. 900 01:08:06,482 --> 01:08:09,452 Well, General, I'm sorry to have to tell you this, 901 01:08:10,586 --> 01:08:12,455 but it's not an accident anymore. 902 01:08:13,723 --> 01:08:15,625 Your friend Mr. Keegan... 903 01:08:15,992 --> 01:08:18,962 We now know that Mr. Keegan was murdered. 904 01:08:19,629 --> 01:08:20,930 Murdered? 905 01:08:21,397 --> 01:08:22,532 A murder. 906 01:08:22,732 --> 01:08:25,635 That's a completely different kind of investigation. 907 01:08:26,135 --> 01:08:28,171 And there'll be more questions. 908 01:08:48,157 --> 01:08:51,594 I don't know why you're telling me these things. 909 01:08:52,362 --> 01:08:54,397 That's police business. 910 01:08:55,264 --> 01:08:57,100 All police business. 911 01:08:59,669 --> 01:09:01,471 I can't help you. 912 01:09:02,138 --> 01:09:03,806 There's nothing I can do. 913 01:09:06,175 --> 01:09:08,711 It's terrible. Terrible. 914 01:09:08,811 --> 01:09:11,748 I understand, sir. We'll talk another time. 915 01:09:11,848 --> 01:09:13,249 Yes, yes, please. 916 01:09:14,217 --> 01:09:15,418 Good night, General. 917 01:09:52,321 --> 01:09:54,057 Who is it? Who's there? 918 01:09:54,891 --> 01:09:55,792 Jack? 919 01:09:56,125 --> 01:09:57,293 Oh, Jenny, good. 920 01:09:59,629 --> 01:10:01,064 I wanna talk to you. 921 01:10:03,733 --> 01:10:05,334 I wanna talk to you, too. 922 01:10:17,413 --> 01:10:19,582 I saw Lieutenant Columbo. 923 01:10:20,249 --> 01:10:24,687 He told you about all this awful murder business? 924 01:10:26,322 --> 01:10:27,356 Yes. 925 01:10:28,191 --> 01:10:32,361 And some other things from his investigation. 926 01:10:34,330 --> 01:10:36,699 The things we have to talk about. 927 01:10:36,799 --> 01:10:39,669 This is of no concern... 928 01:10:40,737 --> 01:10:43,673 Please, Jack, don't look at me. Not yet. 929 01:10:45,274 --> 01:10:49,445 Lieutenant Columbo knows what I have to tell you now... 930 01:10:50,313 --> 01:10:53,783 about someone in my life. 931 01:10:54,617 --> 01:10:58,521 A relationship I swore you'd never know about. 932 01:10:59,756 --> 01:11:00,890 A man... 933 01:11:02,825 --> 01:11:06,095 I could never care for the way we care for each other. 934 01:11:09,265 --> 01:11:12,335 Jenny, you're a young woman. 935 01:11:13,736 --> 01:11:15,571 Strong, lovely, 936 01:11:16,939 --> 01:11:20,276 full of needs that I can't provide for you. 937 01:11:20,977 --> 01:11:22,645 Do you really believe that I... 938 01:11:24,847 --> 01:11:26,916 haven't made any allowances for that? 939 01:11:31,921 --> 01:11:34,924 – I never wanted to hurt you, Jack. – Shh. 940 01:11:37,059 --> 01:11:39,495 You've been the most loving companion that... 941 01:11:40,129 --> 01:11:43,366 I ever could have been blessed with. 942 01:11:44,433 --> 01:11:47,403 And for the rest of it, I want to thank you for your discretion. 943 01:11:49,338 --> 01:11:53,743 And now if you need to tell me who, when, where, I beg of you. 944 01:11:54,844 --> 01:11:56,012 Don't. 945 01:11:57,413 --> 01:12:00,716 With all my heart, don't. 946 01:12:01,617 --> 01:12:03,586 Please, Jenny, I couldn't bear it. 947 01:13:08,551 --> 01:13:10,486 You the investigating officer? 948 01:13:10,953 --> 01:13:14,023 Yes, sir. Lieutenant Columbo. 949 01:13:14,490 --> 01:13:16,092 Marty Tanzer. 950 01:13:20,997 --> 01:13:23,266 Just wanna wish you the best of luck. 951 01:13:57,733 --> 01:14:01,137 You're the only one here who wished me good luck, sir. 952 01:14:01,604 --> 01:14:03,572 Any particular reason? 953 01:14:04,607 --> 01:14:06,375 Keegan was an old friend. 954 01:14:08,077 --> 01:14:10,780 May I ask when you saw him last? 955 01:14:12,415 --> 01:14:15,818 Seven years ago. Since I've been in Washington. 956 01:14:15,918 --> 01:14:19,188 Seven years. Well, thank you very much, Sergeant. 957 01:14:19,288 --> 01:14:21,991 Seven years, except for the phone calls. 958 01:14:28,197 --> 01:14:30,433 Any recent calls? 959 01:14:32,668 --> 01:14:35,638 The last one on the morning of the day he died. 960 01:14:35,738 --> 01:14:37,573 Phone calls about what, Sergeant? 961 01:14:37,673 --> 01:14:38,507 I can't say. 962 01:14:38,607 --> 01:14:39,875 You can't say? 963 01:14:41,811 --> 01:14:43,279 Classified. 964 01:14:43,646 --> 01:14:46,849 Mr. Keegan told you something classified? 965 01:14:48,484 --> 01:14:50,019 I told him. 966 01:14:52,788 --> 01:14:54,590 Military intelligence. 967 01:14:55,358 --> 01:14:56,926 Right. 968 01:14:57,526 --> 01:15:00,129 Military intelligence. 969 01:15:00,830 --> 01:15:02,198 Can you tell me? 970 01:15:02,732 --> 01:15:03,566 Can't. 971 01:15:03,666 --> 01:15:07,470 The police. I'm the police. You can tell the police. 972 01:15:07,770 --> 01:15:10,206 I can't talk about it. 973 01:15:14,076 --> 01:15:19,548 If you ever see your way clear to talk about it, give me a call. 974 01:15:53,783 --> 01:15:55,184 How about now? 975 01:16:22,378 --> 01:16:24,080 I've got them in my hand, Colonel. 976 01:16:25,981 --> 01:16:27,750 Yes, sir. In the shredder. 977 01:16:28,083 --> 01:16:30,152 Okay, and I'll give the lieutenant your message. 978 01:16:35,558 --> 01:16:38,727 I'm sorry, Lieutenant. Colonel Brailie won't be available for the rest of the day. 979 01:16:39,662 --> 01:16:40,596 Ah. 980 01:16:41,030 --> 01:16:43,032 Well, that's too bad, ma'am. 981 01:16:43,466 --> 01:16:47,369 These fortune-telling sticks. I gotta have a lot of help. 982 01:16:47,703 --> 01:16:52,208 This one here, ma'am. This is either a Wei, 983 01:16:52,308 --> 01:16:55,277 which means a father is having trouble with his son, 984 01:16:55,377 --> 01:17:00,416 or it's a Kun, which means a young fox just crossed the river. 985 01:17:00,583 --> 01:17:02,985 I'm not too sure about the Kun part. 986 01:17:03,118 --> 01:17:06,422 And then there's all this about Yin Yang. What's a Yin Yang? 987 01:17:06,555 --> 01:17:08,991 No, it's yin and yang, Lieutenant. 988 01:17:09,225 --> 01:17:11,460 I think it's the tension between opposites. 989 01:17:11,560 --> 01:17:14,230 Like black and white, light and dark. 990 01:17:14,330 --> 01:17:15,464 Sweet and sour. 991 01:17:15,598 --> 01:17:16,966 Hot and... 992 01:17:19,268 --> 01:17:21,470 Is this a Special Projects report, Lieutenant? 993 01:17:21,637 --> 01:17:24,373 Yes, ma'am. I'm reading that. 994 01:17:25,074 --> 01:17:27,109 Did that come from Colonel Brailie? 995 01:17:27,209 --> 01:17:29,411 Oh, yes, yes. Definitely from Colonel Brailie. 996 01:17:30,946 --> 01:17:34,083 Did he give you the old report or the new report? 997 01:17:38,087 --> 01:17:41,524 Well, that's hard to say, ma'am. What do you think? 998 01:17:43,225 --> 01:17:47,496 Well, the old report was in the red holder. 999 01:17:48,631 --> 01:17:51,901 So the red letters on the gray cover must be the old report. 1000 01:17:52,201 --> 01:17:54,870 Unless it was the gray cover in the green holder. 1001 01:17:55,070 --> 01:17:57,106 That would have to be the new report. 1002 01:17:57,673 --> 01:17:59,508 Or maybe it was vice versa. 1003 01:18:00,176 --> 01:18:02,044 Unless it was the other way around, 1004 01:18:02,144 --> 01:18:05,648 in which case, this would go here. 1005 01:18:05,881 --> 01:18:09,318 Well, this is the red cover in the red holder, ma'am. 1006 01:18:09,685 --> 01:18:13,389 Otherwise, it'd be opposite, like yin and yang. 1007 01:18:13,489 --> 01:18:15,724 Please, Lieutenant, don't get me confused. 1008 01:18:15,824 --> 01:18:17,593 Now, let me have the red holder. 1009 01:18:17,760 --> 01:18:20,062 You're not supposed to have the red holder, anyway. 1010 01:18:20,696 --> 01:18:24,600 The gray cover with the red letters goes with the new report in the green holder, 1011 01:18:24,700 --> 01:18:26,168 and that's in here. 1012 01:18:26,368 --> 01:18:28,237 If the green holder had a report with a green cover, 1013 01:18:28,337 --> 01:18:31,240 we'd know exactly where we are. I think. 1014 01:18:31,707 --> 01:18:35,945 So this report also goes with the green holder. 1015 01:18:36,045 --> 01:18:38,847 Now, the red holder has the red cover with the black letters in... 1016 01:18:39,315 --> 01:18:40,349 Lieutenant. 1017 01:18:51,594 --> 01:18:52,628 Lieutenant? 1018 01:18:54,163 --> 01:18:55,230 Lieutenant? 1019 01:19:06,275 --> 01:19:09,078 Good evening, Colonel. The general will be pleased to see you. 1020 01:19:09,878 --> 01:19:11,213 Is he in the pool house? 1021 01:19:11,313 --> 01:19:13,415 No, sir. I'll tell him that you're here. 1022 01:19:51,854 --> 01:19:52,921 Thank you for coming. 1023 01:19:53,756 --> 01:19:54,957 My pleasure, sir. 1024 01:19:56,225 --> 01:19:57,860 You got the wrong report. 1025 01:19:58,227 --> 01:20:00,362 This is the one you weren't supposed to see. 1026 01:20:01,997 --> 01:20:03,799 Is that all you can say? 1027 01:20:06,468 --> 01:20:09,071 We try to protect you from these things, Jack. 1028 01:20:13,042 --> 01:20:15,144 Your Special Projects? 1029 01:20:15,244 --> 01:20:16,311 Here and there. 1030 01:20:17,746 --> 01:20:18,914 Africa. 1031 01:20:22,851 --> 01:20:24,386 Illegal gun running! 1032 01:20:26,155 --> 01:20:27,523 Foundation funds. 1033 01:20:28,057 --> 01:20:29,625 Arms transfers. 1034 01:20:31,160 --> 01:20:33,529 That's what our beloved sponsors really hope they're buying. 1035 01:20:33,629 --> 01:20:35,597 Just a little blood. Don't you know that? 1036 01:20:35,931 --> 01:20:38,367 Secret little excursions beyond the law. 1037 01:20:38,567 --> 01:20:42,571 Secret guns for secret friends, in the interest of our country. 1038 01:20:43,038 --> 01:20:45,274 You thieving bastard! 1039 01:20:46,775 --> 01:20:51,814 Spinning your foreign bank accounts. A dollar for guns, a dollar for you, 1040 01:20:51,914 --> 01:20:54,350 all wrapped up in the Foundation flag! 1041 01:20:54,750 --> 01:20:57,686 A thing like that, Jack, if it ever comes out, 1042 01:20:57,953 --> 01:21:01,090 even General Padget could get chewed up in the machine. 1043 01:21:01,857 --> 01:21:06,962 A co-conspirator or an inept fool. 1044 01:21:07,763 --> 01:21:09,064 Any preference? 1045 01:21:12,835 --> 01:21:14,069 Just one. 1046 01:21:15,437 --> 01:21:20,609 To see you in prison. Any price, any cost. 1047 01:21:22,111 --> 01:21:23,746 You go to hell. 1048 01:21:25,314 --> 01:21:26,548 General, you'll do what you have to do. 1049 01:21:26,648 --> 01:21:29,585 In the end you'll beg me to take back that report. 1050 01:21:32,054 --> 01:21:33,455 For Jenny's sake. 1051 01:21:35,991 --> 01:21:37,025 Jenny? 1052 01:21:38,627 --> 01:21:41,930 Do you really want me to admit how many times she's made love to me? 1053 01:21:43,031 --> 01:21:45,334 How many afternoons in our own apartment? 1054 01:21:47,202 --> 01:21:48,404 In our own bed? 1055 01:21:49,405 --> 01:21:51,707 The devil's in the details, Jack. 1056 01:21:52,674 --> 01:21:55,344 Shocked people love shocking details. 1057 01:21:56,979 --> 01:21:58,480 What we said to each other, 1058 01:22:00,416 --> 01:22:02,117 what we did for each other. 1059 01:22:03,952 --> 01:22:06,655 If you open up the Special Projects Fund, 1060 01:22:08,323 --> 01:22:11,026 well, that doesn't give me much to lose. 1061 01:22:11,627 --> 01:22:14,263 What you lose, what Jenny loses... 1062 01:22:15,497 --> 01:22:19,134 Well, that's up to you, sir, isn't it? 1063 01:22:21,270 --> 01:22:22,237 Jack. 1064 01:22:25,808 --> 01:22:27,242 Advise him, Jenny. 1065 01:22:31,880 --> 01:22:34,216 – I think you would want this back. – Don't! 1066 01:22:35,984 --> 01:22:37,553 Whatever he says. 1067 01:22:39,121 --> 01:22:41,824 I won't have any further need for it. 1068 01:22:48,130 --> 01:22:49,731 And copies, sir? 1069 01:22:51,567 --> 01:22:54,136 Lieutenant Columbo's copy is on my desk. 1070 01:22:56,305 --> 01:22:57,873 Thank you for understanding. 1071 01:23:06,014 --> 01:23:07,783 Perhaps you'd be good enough to... 1072 01:23:07,950 --> 01:23:10,719 fix me a cup of chocolate. You know how I like it. 1073 01:23:29,071 --> 01:23:30,205 Colonel Brailie. 1074 01:23:31,440 --> 01:23:35,777 I was hoping we'd run into each other again, and here you are, sir. 1075 01:23:36,311 --> 01:23:38,647 I see you've found the I Ching stick. 1076 01:23:39,515 --> 01:23:41,250 Is that the Kui symbol, sir? 1077 01:23:42,150 --> 01:23:44,386 Yes, Lieutenant, it appears to be a Kui. 1078 01:23:44,653 --> 01:23:48,557 Well, the I Ching book, it was very baffling about the Kui. 1079 01:23:48,991 --> 01:23:52,294 Something about a culprit who walks on his toes, 1080 01:23:52,394 --> 01:23:54,463 because the police are looking for him. 1081 01:23:54,663 --> 01:23:57,165 Why would he walk on his toes? 1082 01:23:58,534 --> 01:24:00,702 Why would the police be looking for him? 1083 01:24:03,538 --> 01:24:05,107 I think it's a kind of warning. 1084 01:24:07,676 --> 01:24:09,645 Like the shrunken head, sir. 1085 01:24:11,380 --> 01:24:14,182 Yes, Lieutenant, much like a shrunken head. 1086 01:24:14,283 --> 01:24:17,219 Well, I'll certainly bear that in mind. 1087 01:24:17,719 --> 01:24:20,289 I'm sure this is what you came here for, Colonel. 1088 01:24:20,656 --> 01:24:22,791 Your Special Projects report. 1089 01:24:23,292 --> 01:24:27,563 And I know that you're anxious to be on your way, so good night, sir. 1090 01:24:32,701 --> 01:24:34,102 Good night, Lieutenant. 1091 01:24:35,337 --> 01:24:36,838 All the things in that report, 1092 01:24:36,939 --> 01:24:38,974 the arms and all, and the foreign bank accounts, 1093 01:24:39,074 --> 01:24:42,177 Mr. Keegan, he never saw the report, 1094 01:24:43,312 --> 01:24:45,514 but he did know about those things, sir. 1095 01:24:47,716 --> 01:24:49,952 Do you think that's why he was murdered? 1096 01:24:56,992 --> 01:24:58,627 What do you think, Lieutenant? 1097 01:24:59,127 --> 01:25:01,029 Well, sir, the way I see it, 1098 01:25:01,964 --> 01:25:04,433 there's Mr. Keegan getting telephone calls... 1099 01:25:04,533 --> 01:25:08,036 from an intelligence friend in Washington about the Foundation, 1100 01:25:08,704 --> 01:25:10,672 and about the guns to Africa. 1101 01:25:11,640 --> 01:25:14,676 And Mr. Keegan, he needs a new job, 1102 01:25:15,210 --> 01:25:18,447 and I have to consider that maybe Mr. Keegan... 1103 01:25:19,314 --> 01:25:22,818 The best job he could find would be in the blackmail business. 1104 01:25:23,118 --> 01:25:24,820 Somebody at the Foundation. 1105 01:25:24,920 --> 01:25:28,890 And the blackmail, that would be the motive for the murder. 1106 01:25:29,758 --> 01:25:32,060 Would you agree with me on that one, sir? 1107 01:25:33,695 --> 01:25:35,030 A possibility. 1108 01:25:35,697 --> 01:25:40,635 Unless you're implying I was the target of Keegan's blackmail. 1109 01:25:42,104 --> 01:25:45,240 Oh, no, sir. I'm implying more than that. 1110 01:25:45,941 --> 01:25:48,810 I'm implying that you murdered the man. 1111 01:25:51,346 --> 01:25:53,915 Then I'd better walk on my toes, Lieutenant. 1112 01:25:56,385 --> 01:25:59,855 I was here when Lester was murdered, remember? 1113 01:26:00,655 --> 01:26:03,525 I spent the evening setting up all this. Hardly a trifle. 1114 01:26:03,625 --> 01:26:06,395 Oh, I can see that, sir. Hours of work. 1115 01:26:06,762 --> 01:26:08,296 And right there. 1116 01:26:10,499 --> 01:26:12,367 That's where you got me beat. 1117 01:26:13,001 --> 01:26:16,138 Your alibi, sir. It's a perfect alibi. 1118 01:26:16,638 --> 01:26:20,609 How can I even begin to make a case with an alibi like that? 1119 01:26:21,343 --> 01:26:22,878 I'm glad you agree. 1120 01:26:25,881 --> 01:26:27,382 You know, Colonel, 1121 01:26:27,482 --> 01:26:30,018 the way we always agree with one another, 1122 01:26:30,118 --> 01:26:31,620 that's amazing, 1123 01:26:31,720 --> 01:26:35,290 considering the fact that we really don't like one another. 1124 01:26:35,891 --> 01:26:37,893 Would you agree with me on that? 1125 01:26:38,794 --> 01:26:40,595 I think I'd have to agree. 1126 01:26:40,929 --> 01:26:43,231 You see? We agree again. 1127 01:26:45,300 --> 01:26:47,369 What would you say about this, sir? 1128 01:26:49,938 --> 01:26:52,207 I'd say it looks like a toy soldier. 1129 01:26:52,941 --> 01:26:54,409 I found him. 1130 01:26:55,977 --> 01:26:57,379 You wanna know where? 1131 01:26:58,046 --> 01:26:59,214 If you like. 1132 01:27:00,549 --> 01:27:03,085 Right here, sir, is where I found him. 1133 01:27:04,653 --> 01:27:08,724 The day after the murder. Behind the Civil War books, 1134 01:27:09,691 --> 01:27:10,992 by this bookend. 1135 01:27:11,860 --> 01:27:14,129 Do you see where I found him, sir? 1136 01:27:14,429 --> 01:27:16,498 Yes, Lieutenant. I see exactly. 1137 01:27:16,731 --> 01:27:20,102 Well, that's very confusing. That's puzzling, sir. 1138 01:27:20,202 --> 01:27:22,337 Right away, I don't know what to make of it. 1139 01:27:22,838 --> 01:27:27,509 According to the General's orderly, the carton of books came in the morning, 1140 01:27:27,676 --> 01:27:31,046 and the soldiers were delivered at night. Am I right? 1141 01:27:31,179 --> 01:27:32,681 Right you are, Lieutenant. 1142 01:27:33,815 --> 01:27:36,118 Then if the books came first, 1143 01:27:36,751 --> 01:27:40,388 how did the soldier end up behind the books? 1144 01:27:41,723 --> 01:27:44,726 Ah, I sense a trap. 1145 01:27:46,094 --> 01:27:48,797 Maybe a woman sitting on a well, sir. 1146 01:27:49,297 --> 01:27:53,735 Lieutenant, I used this shelf... 1147 01:27:58,173 --> 01:28:01,343 to group my soldiers. 1148 01:28:01,810 --> 01:28:04,880 I didn't put the books there until all this was done. 1149 01:28:05,847 --> 01:28:08,683 One errant soldier got left behind. 1150 01:28:10,452 --> 01:28:11,386 This one. 1151 01:28:12,420 --> 01:28:14,623 Well, that would explain him, sir. 1152 01:28:16,224 --> 01:28:18,493 But then there's all these books. 1153 01:28:20,328 --> 01:28:21,329 You see? 1154 01:28:22,731 --> 01:28:26,368 All these Civil War books that you ordered for the General. 1155 01:28:26,468 --> 01:28:28,770 I'm perfectly aware of the Civil War books, Lieutenant. 1156 01:28:28,870 --> 01:28:31,239 Do you plan to borrow them? 1157 01:28:31,339 --> 01:28:33,875 No, no, no, sir. No, nothing like that. 1158 01:28:34,176 --> 01:28:35,844 Would you give me a hand, sir? 1159 01:28:37,012 --> 01:28:41,416 Since you insist. The books in the box. 1160 01:28:46,588 --> 01:28:49,224 Well, there it is again, sir. Interesting. 1161 01:28:49,591 --> 01:28:52,227 You see how interesting that is, sir? 1162 01:28:52,327 --> 01:28:53,061 The books? 1163 01:28:53,161 --> 01:28:56,064 And the carton. It won't close. 1164 01:28:56,398 --> 01:28:58,233 There's too many books for the carton. 1165 01:28:58,333 --> 01:29:01,036 Well, obviously there's a proper way to pack the books. 1166 01:29:01,136 --> 01:29:03,772 Well, sir, no matter how many times I tried to pack 'em, 1167 01:29:03,872 --> 01:29:07,876 it always came out the same. That's because that box... 1168 01:29:08,243 --> 01:29:11,846 That's a two-cubic-foot box. I measured that. 1169 01:29:12,847 --> 01:29:14,082 And the books, 1170 01:29:16,218 --> 01:29:20,889 I measured those at 2.9 cubic feet. 1171 01:29:21,556 --> 01:29:23,291 You see that, Colonel Brailie? 1172 01:29:23,825 --> 01:29:26,695 2.9 cubic feet of books. 1173 01:29:27,195 --> 01:29:30,365 How could they fit into a two-cubic-foot box? 1174 01:29:30,465 --> 01:29:33,501 Well, they can't. I don't care how you figure it. 1175 01:29:33,602 --> 01:29:37,305 Metric, liters, kilograms, whatever. 1176 01:29:38,540 --> 01:29:40,242 But that box... 1177 01:29:45,747 --> 01:29:48,783 This carton marked "Military Miniatures," 1178 01:29:49,050 --> 01:29:50,785 that'd be toy soldiers, sir. 1179 01:29:50,886 --> 01:29:52,320 Don't patronize me, Lieutenant. 1180 01:29:52,420 --> 01:29:57,459 This box, sir, this is a 3.1-cubic-foot box. 1181 01:29:57,993 --> 01:30:00,729 You see that? It says it right there, sir. 1182 01:30:00,929 --> 01:30:03,398 And the MacAdam booksellers, 1183 01:30:03,765 --> 01:30:07,168 they sent me another complete set of books, 1184 01:30:07,269 --> 01:30:11,539 just like those in that box there. Exactly the same. 1185 01:30:16,111 --> 01:30:17,679 And there they are. 1186 01:30:20,649 --> 01:30:25,887 But the books, they can't fit in this box, sir. 1187 01:30:26,354 --> 01:30:28,523 That's a scientific fact. 1188 01:30:28,623 --> 01:30:33,962 And from this scientific fact, you deduce... 1189 01:30:35,063 --> 01:30:38,033 Well, I would have to say, sir, that the books... 1190 01:30:38,133 --> 01:30:40,535 The night Mr. Keegan was murdered, 1191 01:30:40,702 --> 01:30:43,638 the books were delivered here in the evening... 1192 01:30:43,738 --> 01:30:47,108 in that box marked "soldiers," 1193 01:30:47,208 --> 01:30:50,645 and this box, the one marked "books," 1194 01:30:51,313 --> 01:30:53,815 the box you opened in the morning, sir? 1195 01:30:54,516 --> 01:30:57,786 I'd say this box had to have the soldiers. 1196 01:30:58,620 --> 01:31:01,456 So that you could set them all up here ahead of time, 1197 01:31:01,923 --> 01:31:04,025 for the charge up Cemetery Hill. 1198 01:31:04,759 --> 01:31:07,629 And that evening you went to the training camp, 1199 01:31:07,829 --> 01:31:11,333 and you murdered Mr. Keegan without an alibi, Colonel. 1200 01:31:12,367 --> 01:31:15,203 You murdered him with no alibi at all, 1201 01:31:15,637 --> 01:31:20,909 unless the jurors manage to pack all those books in that box. 1202 01:31:23,211 --> 01:31:25,413 Do you think they could ever do that, sir? 1203 01:31:26,247 --> 01:31:28,450 I expect they'll have difficulty, Lieutenant. 1204 01:31:29,918 --> 01:31:34,322 I seem to have misjudged myself. 1205 01:31:36,291 --> 01:31:37,258 And you. 1206 01:31:40,362 --> 01:31:44,466 I'm curious. When did you suspect me? 1207 01:31:45,834 --> 01:31:48,036 Well, as long as you ask, sir, 1208 01:31:49,137 --> 01:31:51,906 that first day in Mr. Keegan's quarters, 1209 01:31:52,774 --> 01:31:55,844 when I found you scrubbing my mud off the floor, 1210 01:31:56,611 --> 01:32:00,448 I thought that was peculiar for someone as arrogant as you are, 1211 01:32:01,182 --> 01:32:02,784 if you'll excuse me, sir. 1212 01:32:03,318 --> 01:32:06,721 Oh, there's still one more thing. 1213 01:32:07,322 --> 01:32:09,090 Our lost soldier. 1214 01:32:10,825 --> 01:32:12,727 Where do you think we should put him? 1215 01:32:16,898 --> 01:32:19,934 It hardly makes any difference to the battle, Lieutenant. 1216 01:32:22,537 --> 01:32:24,639 It already seems to be lost. 1217 01:32:25,774 --> 01:32:29,577 Well, sir, this one's on the side that won. 1218 01:32:31,012 --> 01:32:34,849 Did I read your rights, Colonel? I think I forgot to read your rights. 1219 01:32:35,183 --> 01:32:40,955 I have the card somewhere. I know it's here. In this pocket. 1220 01:32:41,189 --> 01:32:42,824 No, the other pocket. 1221 01:32:44,359 --> 01:32:46,428 Gee, maybe I forgot to bring it again. 1222 01:32:46,528 --> 01:32:48,830 No, here it is.