1
00:00:14,223 --> 00:00:16,390
I'm not crazy.

2
00:00:16,391 --> 00:00:20,019
I'm a long way from crazy.

3
00:00:20,020 --> 00:00:24,273
Doing one crazy thing
Does not make a person crazy.

4
00:00:24,274 --> 00:00:25,816
Though have to admit
This isn't how expected

5
00:00:25,817 --> 00:00:28,194
To be spending my christmas.

6
00:00:28,195 --> 00:00:30,196
And i'm sure it's not how
David martin planned

7
00:00:30,197 --> 00:00:31,697
On spending his.

8
00:00:31,698 --> 00:00:35,034
So... you've been walking
For what, about an hour?

9
00:00:35,035 --> 00:00:37,245
And you've gone exactly

10
00:00:37,246 --> 00:00:39,413
1.8 MILES.

11
00:00:39,414 --> 00:00:41,958
The nearest gas station
Is 20 miles away.

12
00:00:41,959 --> 00:00:43,126
You do the math.

13
00:00:45,128 --> 00:00:46,837
Look, why don't you just
Come back to the house?

14
00:00:46,838 --> 00:00:48,924
We'll make some
Hot chocolate, okay?

15
00:00:57,015 --> 00:00:59,267
Our cheeks Are nice and rosy

16
00:00:59,268 --> 00:01:01,018
Are you okay?

17
00:01:01,019 --> 00:01:03,896
Nothing smart to say?

18
00:01:03,897 --> 00:01:05,314
Is your face frozen?

19
00:01:05,315 --> 00:01:08,192
You...

20
00:01:08,193 --> 00:01:10,653
Are...

21
00:01:10,654 --> 00:01:13,489
The devil.

22
00:01:13,490 --> 00:01:14,782
It's lovely weather

23
00:01:14,783 --> 00:01:18,202
for a sleigh ride together
With you

24
00:01:18,203 --> 00:01:25,459
ding a ling‐a‐ling
Ding dong ding

25
00:01:35,053 --> 00:01:37,722
The day started out
Like every other day.

26
00:01:37,723 --> 00:01:42,393
Which lately is not
Necessarily a good thing.

27
00:01:42,394 --> 00:01:45,021
Yeah, yeah, yeah

28
00:01:45,022 --> 00:01:46,814
seems like everywhere You go

29
00:01:46,815 --> 00:01:49,191
People searching for
An explanation

30
00:01:49,192 --> 00:01:51,777
need a reason, Need a plan

31
00:01:51,778 --> 00:01:53,988
always have to know
The destination

32
00:01:53,989 --> 00:01:55,990
one thing i know For sure

33
00:01:55,991 --> 00:01:59,076
Gotta make the most
Of the situation

34
00:01:59,077 --> 00:02:00,703
settle down And take it slow

35
00:02:00,704 --> 00:02:03,998
'cause you can't control
Where the flow is going

36
00:02:03,999 --> 00:02:06,042
You know it's true What they say

37
00:02:06,043 --> 00:02:08,044
Life's Not Easy

38
00:02:08,045 --> 00:02:12,632
The only thing you can do
Is crazy...

39
00:02:15,761 --> 00:02:17,011
And reach up To the sky

40
00:02:17,012 --> 00:02:19,930
Believe you've got
Something special

41
00:02:19,931 --> 00:02:22,350
Yeah, Yeah, Yeah, Yeah

42
00:02:22,351 --> 00:02:24,518
There's no mountain
You can't climb

43
00:02:24,519 --> 00:02:25,770
Oh, crap!

44
00:02:25,771 --> 00:02:27,355
Trudie, that word is So tacky.

45
00:02:27,356 --> 00:02:28,397
Hi, mom.

46
00:02:28,398 --> 00:02:29,565
Hi, honey.

47
00:02:29,566 --> 00:02:30,608
We're just getting
Organized here.

48
00:02:30,609 --> 00:02:31,942
We had to bring Everything.

49
00:02:31,943 --> 00:02:33,027
You never know With a rental.

50
00:02:33,028 --> 00:02:34,862
So you have directions
And everything?

51
00:02:34,863 --> 00:02:36,489
I do.

52
00:02:36,490 --> 00:02:38,074
I'm going to be doing seating
Arrangements for dinner.

53
00:02:38,075 --> 00:02:40,076
So i just wanted To make sure

54
00:02:40,077 --> 00:02:42,161
That nick is still
Coming with you.

55
00:02:42,162 --> 00:02:44,080
Of course he is.

56
00:02:44,081 --> 00:02:46,207
Cocktails at 6:00 sharp.

57
00:02:46,208 --> 00:02:48,709
I know, mom.

58
00:02:50,212 --> 00:02:52,338
We are so excited
To meet him, honey.

59
00:02:52,339 --> 00:02:54,173
It's going to be
A very special christmas.

60
00:02:54,174 --> 00:02:55,257
You think He could be the one?

61
00:02:55,258 --> 00:02:57,301
I don't know, mom.

62
00:02:57,302 --> 00:02:59,053
Oh.

63
00:02:59,054 --> 00:03:01,514
Yeah, maybe he could.

64
00:03:01,515 --> 00:03:02,807
Look, i don't have time
To talk about this right now.

65
00:03:02,808 --> 00:03:04,266
I gotta get ready
For the interview.

66
00:03:04,267 --> 00:03:05,851
Oh, wait, wait, wait!

67
00:03:05,852 --> 00:03:07,186
Wear your christmas dress.

68
00:03:07,187 --> 00:03:08,979
It's a great color on you,

69
00:03:08,980 --> 00:03:11,107
And the style really
Slims your hips.

70
00:03:11,108 --> 00:03:13,984
Mom, no, I'm already dressed!

71
00:03:13,985 --> 00:03:15,403
And please, for christmas
This year,

72
00:03:15,404 --> 00:03:16,987
No more pink sweaters, Please!

73
00:03:16,988 --> 00:03:18,989
Honey, pink is the best
Color on you

74
00:03:18,990 --> 00:03:20,366
With your blue eyes and‐‐

75
00:03:20,367 --> 00:03:22,159
I don't even know
If it fits anymore.

76
00:03:22,160 --> 00:03:23,452
I am telling you you have
To dress for the job...

77
00:03:23,453 --> 00:03:26,247
Okay... okay... okay!

78
00:03:26,248 --> 00:03:27,581
Here, honey, Talk to your dad.

79
00:03:27,582 --> 00:03:28,791
No, no, no, i don't
Have time to talk to‐‐

80
00:03:28,792 --> 00:03:30,167
Hey, hey!
Hi, dad.

81
00:03:30,168 --> 00:03:32,002
Listen, you told mr. Portnoy

82
00:03:32,003 --> 00:03:34,130
That i don't have any
Sales experience, right?

83
00:03:34,131 --> 00:03:35,131
What do you mean?
You sold him lemonade.

84
00:03:35,132 --> 00:03:37,466
I sold him lemonade
When i was ten,

85
00:03:37,467 --> 00:03:38,884
When he called me
"little pootie."

86
00:03:38,885 --> 00:03:41,595
Listen, never take no
For an answer.

87
00:03:41,596 --> 00:03:43,556
And do not leave that room
Until the job is yours, okay?

88
00:03:43,557 --> 00:03:46,100
Okay, well, what did you
Tell him i've been doing?

89
00:03:46,101 --> 00:03:47,143
Well, i didn't.

90
00:03:47,144 --> 00:03:48,602
I just said
You're a late bloomer,

91
00:03:48,603 --> 00:03:50,521
But that you're ready
To get your life together.

92
00:03:50,522 --> 00:03:52,398
So you make me proud.
I can't wait to see you.

93
00:03:52,399 --> 00:03:53,607
Love ya, mwah!
Okay.

94
00:03:53,608 --> 00:03:54,900
Drive safe, okay?
Bye.

95
00:03:54,901 --> 00:03:56,819
Love you.

96
00:03:56,820 --> 00:03:58,154
I can feel it, honey.

97
00:03:58,155 --> 00:04:00,239
I think things are turning
Around for you.

98
00:04:00,240 --> 00:04:02,950
Okay.
Bye, mom.

99
00:04:02,951 --> 00:04:04,952
Oh, honey, honey, be sure to do
Something with your hair.

100
00:04:04,953 --> 00:04:07,163
Oh, my god.

101
00:04:07,164 --> 00:04:09,623
Oh, no!

102
00:04:09,624 --> 00:04:11,000
This can't be happening!

103
00:04:12,252 --> 00:04:15,087
Yep, the day started out
Like any other.

104
00:04:15,088 --> 00:04:17,298
Except it was Almost christmas.

105
00:04:17,299 --> 00:04:20,134
And the constant pressure
From my parents

106
00:04:20,135 --> 00:04:22,636
To get a real job
And a serious boyfriend

107
00:04:22,637 --> 00:04:24,138
Was taking its toll.

108
00:04:24,139 --> 00:04:26,056
It was enough to drive
Anyone nuts.

109
00:04:26,057 --> 00:04:29,727
But aren't most of us just
A hair away from crazy anyway?

110
00:04:29,728 --> 00:04:32,021
I think difference
Between sanity and insanity

111
00:04:32,022 --> 00:04:34,440
Often comes down to timing.

112
00:04:37,778 --> 00:04:38,861
Oh!

113
00:04:38,862 --> 00:04:40,863
You bitch!

114
00:04:55,462 --> 00:04:57,546
Hi, trudie chandler.
I have a‐‐
You're late.

115
00:04:57,547 --> 00:04:59,924
I know, i'm sorry.
He can't see you now.

116
00:04:59,925 --> 00:05:01,717
Oh, no, no, i know
I'm a little late,

117
00:05:01,718 --> 00:05:03,177
But you don't Understand.

118
00:05:03,178 --> 00:05:04,720
You see, my parents
And mr. Portnoy are neighbors.

119
00:05:04,721 --> 00:05:06,180
So my dad set This appointment,

120
00:05:06,181 --> 00:05:08,140
So it's very important
That i see him.

121
00:05:08,141 --> 00:05:10,518
If it was so important,
You should have been on time.

122
00:05:10,519 --> 00:05:12,812
He's in with his Next interview.

123
00:05:12,813 --> 00:05:14,396
No.

124
00:05:14,397 --> 00:05:15,439
No, he can't be.

125
00:05:31,039 --> 00:05:33,082
From the corner!
Come on!

126
00:05:33,083 --> 00:05:34,333
Come on, you know I can sell.

127
00:05:34,334 --> 00:05:36,335
I made more money

128
00:05:36,336 --> 00:05:37,586
Than any of those other girls
On the street!

129
00:05:37,587 --> 00:05:39,922
We have a code red up here.

130
00:05:43,635 --> 00:05:47,055
But things are finally
Turning around for me.

131
00:05:57,983 --> 00:05:59,316
Oh!
How'd it go?

132
00:05:59,317 --> 00:06:01,861
I'm pretty sure I didn't get it.

133
00:06:01,862 --> 00:06:03,279
Hey, what are you doing?

134
00:06:03,280 --> 00:06:05,406
I don't pay you to chitchat
With your friend, okay?

135
00:06:05,407 --> 00:06:06,657
Get to work or you'll be
Out in the gutter.

136
00:06:06,658 --> 00:06:08,117
Shut up, taj.

137
00:06:08,118 --> 00:06:10,286
You're gonna fire me
Like i'm gonna sleep with you.

138
00:06:10,287 --> 00:06:12,663
He would not keep his
Great‐grandfather's gun here

139
00:06:12,664 --> 00:06:16,584
If he knew how close i come
To killing him every day.

140
00:06:16,585 --> 00:06:19,378
Oh, my god.
Ugh, i left it in too long.

141
00:06:19,379 --> 00:06:21,839
My mom's always complaining
That my hair hangs in my face.

142
00:06:21,840 --> 00:06:24,592
Oh, my god.

143
00:06:24,593 --> 00:06:27,636
It's my christmas dress.
My mom got it for me.

144
00:06:27,637 --> 00:06:30,055
Taj is really into
Christmas this year.

145
00:06:30,056 --> 00:06:31,599
But he's hindu.

146
00:06:31,600 --> 00:06:33,142
Pssh.

147
00:06:33,143 --> 00:06:36,186
How do i look?

148
00:06:36,187 --> 00:06:38,397
Oh, sweetie.

149
00:06:38,398 --> 00:06:41,817
Oh, lucy, i completely
Blew the interview.

150
00:06:41,818 --> 00:06:42,943
I can't believe
I have to go home today.

151
00:06:42,944 --> 00:06:44,403
There's gonna be
Nowhere to hide.

152
00:06:44,404 --> 00:06:46,405
I mean, my mom wanted this
To be a special christmas,

153
00:06:46,406 --> 00:06:48,824
So she rented a cabin
In the middle of nowhere.

154
00:06:48,825 --> 00:06:51,076
We're gonna be trapped
Like the shining.

155
00:06:51,077 --> 00:06:53,078
I'm sorry.

156
00:06:53,079 --> 00:06:54,622
I'd offer to come With you,

157
00:06:54,623 --> 00:06:56,040
But steve and i are
Having our first

158
00:06:56,041 --> 00:06:57,541
Christmas alone together.

159
00:06:57,542 --> 00:06:58,792
That's okay.

160
00:06:58,793 --> 00:06:59,793
I still have one more
Chance for survival.

161
00:06:59,794 --> 00:07:01,003
Nick's coming with me.

162
00:07:01,004 --> 00:07:02,463
Table two wants their check.
Table two.

163
00:07:02,464 --> 00:07:03,672
What?

164
00:07:03,673 --> 00:07:05,257
That's a little fast, Isn't it?

165
00:07:05,258 --> 00:07:06,675
No, it's been
A couple of months.

166
00:07:06,676 --> 00:07:08,344
Besides, i have nothing
To offer these people.

167
00:07:08,345 --> 00:07:10,095
No husband.
No grandchildren.

168
00:07:10,096 --> 00:07:11,513
My dad already thinks
I'm a lesbian.

169
00:07:11,514 --> 00:07:13,682
So you're using nick to get
Your parents off your back.

170
00:07:13,683 --> 00:07:15,142
Yes‐‐no!

171
00:07:15,143 --> 00:07:16,518
He's just great
At first impressions.

172
00:07:16,519 --> 00:07:18,312
My parents are gonna Love him.

173
00:07:18,313 --> 00:07:20,147
I don't know what you have
Against him anyway.

174
00:07:20,148 --> 00:07:22,066
I guess elitist jackasses
Aren't my type.

175
00:07:22,067 --> 00:07:23,484
They're not yours either.

176
00:07:23,485 --> 00:07:25,069
Look, so his family Owns banks.

177
00:07:25,070 --> 00:07:26,987
What's wrong with wealthy
And successful for a change?

178
00:07:26,988 --> 00:07:28,947
It's easy to be wealthy
And successful

179
00:07:28,948 --> 00:07:31,116
If you're born into wealth
And handed success.

180
00:07:31,117 --> 00:07:32,493
Well, he's coming
To pick me up at 2:00,

181
00:07:32,494 --> 00:07:33,827
So can you please Try to control

182
00:07:33,828 --> 00:07:35,162
The chronic bitch‐itis, Please?

183
00:07:35,163 --> 00:07:38,583
Check, check, check.
Table two, check, hurry up!

184
00:07:40,126 --> 00:07:44,046
I said i wanted
Hot fudge, you chowderhead.

185
00:07:44,047 --> 00:07:45,964
Nice.

186
00:07:45,965 --> 00:07:48,176
Excuse me.

187
00:07:52,013 --> 00:07:53,972
When are you gonna quit
This heinous job?

188
00:07:53,973 --> 00:07:55,307
Oh, you're here, yes!

189
00:07:55,308 --> 00:07:59,186
Oh, my god.
What happened to you?

190
00:07:59,187 --> 00:08:01,063
Believe it or not, I was trying

191
00:08:01,064 --> 00:08:02,272
Not to attract attention
From my parents.

192
00:08:02,273 --> 00:08:04,608
Yeah, about that.

193
00:08:04,609 --> 00:08:05,651
I think i'm gonna pass

194
00:08:05,652 --> 00:08:07,194
On the whole holiday
Song and dance.

195
00:08:07,195 --> 00:08:08,195
What is that Supposed to mean?

196
00:08:08,196 --> 00:08:09,988
Well, just meeting Your parents

197
00:08:09,989 --> 00:08:11,156
Is a whole other level,

198
00:08:11,157 --> 00:08:12,075
And i don't think
We're there yet.

199
00:08:12,076 --> 00:08:14,243
Oh, uh‐huh, Okay, okay, uh‐huh.

200
00:08:14,244 --> 00:08:15,828
Well, do you think That maybe

201
00:08:15,829 --> 00:08:18,038
In like the next ten minutes
We could get to that level?

202
00:08:18,039 --> 00:08:18,998
Because my parents
Are expecting you

203
00:08:18,999 --> 00:08:20,457
To come home with me.

204
00:08:20,458 --> 00:08:22,334
I don't think we're ever
Gonna get there, sweetheart.

205
00:08:22,335 --> 00:08:25,254
You can't bail On me now, nick.

206
00:08:25,255 --> 00:08:28,590
I mean, you know,
Cocktails are at 6:00 sharp!

207
00:08:28,591 --> 00:08:29,800
I need you.

208
00:08:29,801 --> 00:08:32,469
Yeah, the needy thing?
Not a turn on.

209
00:08:32,470 --> 00:08:34,388
I can't believe this.

210
00:08:34,389 --> 00:08:35,848
This is‐‐this is Not happening!

211
00:08:35,849 --> 00:08:37,099
Why did you tell me

212
00:08:37,100 --> 00:08:38,308
You were gonna come home
With me for christmas

213
00:08:38,309 --> 00:08:39,643
If you were never Gonna do it?

214
00:08:39,644 --> 00:08:42,980
Because i knew that that's
What you wanted to hear.

215
00:08:42,981 --> 00:08:47,151
You know, and we hadn't
Had sex yet, so...

216
00:08:47,152 --> 00:08:49,528
Heh.
Yeah, see you later.

217
00:08:49,529 --> 00:08:52,656
Wait!

218
00:08:52,657 --> 00:08:54,241
If you walk out That door now,

219
00:08:54,242 --> 00:08:57,453
We are so over.

220
00:08:57,454 --> 00:09:00,622
Uh... yeah.

221
00:09:00,623 --> 00:09:02,125
Okay.

222
00:09:08,882 --> 00:09:10,507
Oh, my god.
Oh, my god, oh, my god.

223
00:09:10,508 --> 00:09:11,675
Oh, my god.

224
00:09:11,676 --> 00:09:13,218
Hey, what's up?
I'm waiting for jessica.

225
00:09:13,219 --> 00:09:15,220
Right over there.

226
00:09:15,221 --> 00:09:16,805
Dude, of course I'm sure.

227
00:09:16,806 --> 00:09:18,807
So wish me luck, okay?
Thank you.

228
00:09:18,808 --> 00:09:20,810
Bye.

229
00:09:25,732 --> 00:09:27,066
Hey, hey, hey!
Wake up!

230
00:09:27,067 --> 00:09:28,067
Come on, hurry up.
Customer, table ten!

231
00:09:28,068 --> 00:09:29,401
Go, go, go!

232
00:09:29,402 --> 00:09:31,071
Took you long enough.

233
00:09:34,157 --> 00:09:36,408
What can i get for you?

234
00:09:36,409 --> 00:09:40,162
Uh, i'll take
A cheeseburger and fries

235
00:09:40,163 --> 00:09:44,084
And a caesar salad, please.
Dressing on the side.

236
00:09:46,127 --> 00:09:48,129
Do you need To write it down?

237
00:10:02,227 --> 00:10:03,977
Mm, this is good, This is good!

238
00:10:03,978 --> 00:10:05,896
Said you were a late bloomer.

239
00:10:05,897 --> 00:10:07,231
You can't bail On me now, nick!

240
00:10:07,232 --> 00:10:11,026
Cocktails are at 6:00.

241
00:10:11,027 --> 00:10:12,861
Actually it was my father's.

242
00:10:12,862 --> 00:10:13,946
'Cause i knew that's what
You wanted to hear,

243
00:10:13,947 --> 00:10:15,864
And we hadn't had sex yet.

244
00:10:15,865 --> 00:10:18,450
I don't think we're ever
Gonna get there, sweetheart.

245
00:10:18,451 --> 00:10:22,246
You okay?
Where's nick?

246
00:10:22,247 --> 00:10:23,997
Oh, merry christmas.

247
00:10:26,459 --> 00:10:28,002
Hey, what is That ringing?

248
00:10:29,712 --> 00:10:34,383
What is that?

249
00:10:34,384 --> 00:10:35,634
Hello, mom.

250
00:10:35,635 --> 00:10:37,678
Trudie?
I knew it.

251
00:10:37,679 --> 00:10:39,596
You haven't left yet,
Have you?
I'm sorry, mom.

252
00:10:39,597 --> 00:10:40,848
I said 6:00.

253
00:10:40,849 --> 00:10:42,474
Honey, what part of that

254
00:10:42,475 --> 00:10:43,475
Did you not understand?

255
00:10:43,476 --> 00:10:45,144
You know, trudie,

256
00:10:45,145 --> 00:10:46,603
The entire world can manage
To be on time.

257
00:10:46,604 --> 00:10:48,021
Why can't you do
This one thing for me?

258
00:10:48,022 --> 00:10:51,108
Are you trying
To ruin christmas?

259
00:10:51,109 --> 00:10:52,068
Trudie?

260
00:10:52,069 --> 00:10:54,653
We're leaving now.

261
00:10:54,654 --> 00:10:55,946
Nick's bringing
Dinner clothes, right?

262
00:10:55,947 --> 00:10:59,032
Yeah, he's wearing
A blue blazer,

263
00:10:59,033 --> 00:11:00,742
Dress shirt, pink tie.

264
00:11:00,743 --> 00:11:02,286
Did you plan The matching pink?

265
00:11:02,287 --> 00:11:04,789
No, we didn't plan it.
Get in the car.

266
00:11:11,504 --> 00:11:13,672
Excuse me.
You're not going
To the bathroom.

267
00:11:13,673 --> 00:11:14,756
Oh, this isn't The restroom?

268
00:11:14,757 --> 00:11:16,800
You're coming with me.

269
00:11:16,801 --> 00:11:19,553
No, i'm going To the bathroom.

270
00:11:19,554 --> 00:11:21,930
Uh, look, i'm not sure
What kind of

271
00:11:21,931 --> 00:11:23,724
Government‐sponsored
Work program

272
00:11:23,725 --> 00:11:25,475
You're a part of, but i‐‐

273
00:11:25,476 --> 00:11:26,977
What the hell is that?

274
00:11:26,978 --> 00:11:28,812
It's a gun.
Are you sure?

275
00:11:28,813 --> 00:11:30,063
Yeah, it's a gun.

276
00:11:30,064 --> 00:11:31,523
It was used
To fight the british.

277
00:11:31,524 --> 00:11:32,733
Maybe you heard
Of a little thing

278
00:11:32,734 --> 00:11:35,110
Called the indian war
Of independence, 1857.

279
00:11:35,111 --> 00:11:36,820
You're kidding, right?

280
00:11:36,821 --> 00:11:38,238
Move it!

281
00:11:38,239 --> 00:11:40,241
Hey, watch it!

282
00:11:48,958 --> 00:11:51,127
Aah‐‐unh!

283
00:11:52,503 --> 00:11:55,131
Oh, for the love of god!!

284
00:12:00,303 --> 00:12:02,805
Wake up.
Wake up!

285
00:12:07,852 --> 00:12:10,145
You, blitzen.

286
00:12:10,146 --> 00:12:11,521
Excuse you?

287
00:12:11,522 --> 00:12:13,482
I'm looking For my boyfriend.

288
00:12:13,483 --> 00:12:15,484
Handsome, Nice dimples.

289
00:12:15,485 --> 00:12:18,070
Handsome, nice dimples.
Don't see him.

290
00:12:18,071 --> 00:12:20,656
Maybe this is his way
Of dumping you.

291
00:12:20,657 --> 00:12:22,242
Oh!

292
00:12:25,453 --> 00:12:29,665
You say i gotta
Learn a lesson today

293
00:12:29,666 --> 00:12:31,208
yeah, hey, hey, hey

294
00:12:31,209 --> 00:12:33,961
you say i need
A good punch in the face

295
00:12:33,962 --> 00:12:36,171
yeah, hey, hey, hey

296
00:12:36,172 --> 00:12:37,422
Unh.

297
00:12:37,423 --> 00:12:39,800
Hi.
Huh?

298
00:12:39,801 --> 00:12:41,218
Hi?

299
00:12:41,219 --> 00:12:43,095
How's your head?

300
00:12:43,096 --> 00:12:44,680
How about i take
The blindfold off now?

301
00:12:44,681 --> 00:12:46,182
How'd that be?

302
00:12:49,686 --> 00:12:51,186
Hi.

303
00:12:51,187 --> 00:12:52,772
Hello.

304
00:12:56,985 --> 00:13:00,070
Look, i'm not sure
What's going on

305
00:13:00,071 --> 00:13:01,697
Or what you want From me,

306
00:13:01,698 --> 00:13:05,993
But this plan doesn't
Seem very well thought out.

307
00:13:05,994 --> 00:13:07,160
Let's face it.
I'm a guy.

308
00:13:07,161 --> 00:13:09,121
And sooner or later,
I will overpower you.

309
00:13:09,122 --> 00:13:10,205
Yeah, good point.

310
00:13:10,206 --> 00:13:12,958
Unless you knock
Yourself out first.

311
00:13:12,959 --> 00:13:15,044
Or i shoot you.

312
00:13:17,547 --> 00:13:19,673
You seem like a nice girl.

313
00:13:19,674 --> 00:13:22,301
Probably nothing a little
Lithium couldn't fix.

314
00:13:22,302 --> 00:13:24,511
Come on, you're not really

315
00:13:24,512 --> 00:13:26,096
Gonna shoot me With that thing.

316
00:13:27,265 --> 00:13:29,474
Aah!

317
00:13:29,475 --> 00:13:32,185
Aah!
Oh, my god!

318
00:13:32,186 --> 00:13:34,147
Oh, my god!

319
00:13:37,317 --> 00:13:39,068
Sorry.

320
00:13:56,377 --> 00:13:57,836
So this is the deal.

321
00:13:57,837 --> 00:13:59,212
You're coming home with me
To spend christmas

322
00:13:59,213 --> 00:14:01,339
With my family
As my boyfriend nick,

323
00:14:01,340 --> 00:14:03,091
Who unfortunately
Couldn't make it.

324
00:14:03,092 --> 00:14:05,552
I'm not doing anything
Like that, looney tunes.

325
00:14:05,553 --> 00:14:07,345
You don't exactly
Have a choice, dwayne.

326
00:14:07,346 --> 00:14:11,641
It's david, and...

327
00:14:11,642 --> 00:14:12,684
Oh!

328
00:14:12,685 --> 00:14:15,062
Your boyfriend dumped you.

329
00:14:15,063 --> 00:14:17,189
No, i told you.
He couldn't make it.

330
00:14:17,190 --> 00:14:18,940
Right.

331
00:14:18,941 --> 00:14:20,859
You're one of those Hairy lady

332
00:14:20,860 --> 00:14:23,195
Man‐hater types
Who's been rejected

333
00:14:23,196 --> 00:14:24,196
Time after time,

334
00:14:24,197 --> 00:14:26,156
And now You're taking it out

335
00:14:26,157 --> 00:14:27,365
On an innocent bystander.

336
00:14:27,366 --> 00:14:30,078
What?
No, i'm not!

337
00:14:44,467 --> 00:14:46,301
Gas, gas station.

338
00:14:46,302 --> 00:14:48,261
Green and white sign,
Green and white.

339
00:14:48,262 --> 00:14:51,264
Hey, you know There's no way

340
00:14:51,265 --> 00:14:53,058
You're gonna pull
This off, right?

341
00:14:53,059 --> 00:14:54,309
What are you gonna do,

342
00:14:54,310 --> 00:14:55,644
Hold the gun on me during
Christmas dinner?

343
00:14:55,645 --> 00:14:57,562
The second i get to your house
And tell your family

344
00:14:57,563 --> 00:14:59,940
How demented you are‐‐ Hey!

345
00:14:59,941 --> 00:15:01,483
Hey, that's getting Personal.

346
00:15:01,484 --> 00:15:02,734
Hey, what are you doing?

347
00:15:02,735 --> 00:15:05,237
No cell phone?

348
00:15:05,238 --> 00:15:08,490
It's in my coat.
At the diner.

349
00:15:08,491 --> 00:15:12,203
Where i left it
Before i was kidnapped!

350
00:15:19,377 --> 00:15:21,336
Man, what is this stuff Made of?

351
00:15:23,297 --> 00:15:24,589
Oh, hello.

352
00:15:24,590 --> 00:15:26,716
Hi.

353
00:15:33,391 --> 00:15:37,186
Uh, just $10 worth And this.

354
00:15:39,230 --> 00:15:43,108
Ah.

355
00:15:45,361 --> 00:15:46,736
There you go.

356
00:15:46,737 --> 00:15:50,157
I usually pump the gas
For the pretty ladies.

357
00:15:50,158 --> 00:15:52,659
Oh, please,
That's not necessary.

358
00:15:52,660 --> 00:15:54,661
You wouldn't want
To deny an old man

359
00:15:54,662 --> 00:15:57,080
One of the few pleasures
He has left.

360
00:15:57,081 --> 00:15:58,373
Oh, no, really!

361
00:15:58,374 --> 00:15:59,416
You don't Have to do that.

362
00:15:59,417 --> 00:16:00,458
I can handle it.

363
00:16:00,459 --> 00:16:01,419
Whoa!

364
00:16:01,420 --> 00:16:03,211
What's going on here,
Sweetheart?

365
00:16:03,212 --> 00:16:05,463
Uh, that's my boyfriend.

366
00:16:05,464 --> 00:16:06,923
I'm surprising him
With a weekend in the woods.

367
00:16:06,924 --> 00:16:09,217
You know, the wild
Kind of weekend.

368
00:16:09,218 --> 00:16:11,344
The "tie me up,
Tie me down" kind.

369
00:16:11,345 --> 00:16:13,054
You better come
With me, young lady.

370
00:16:13,055 --> 00:16:15,474
I really Don't have time.

371
00:16:32,408 --> 00:16:34,618
These are On the house, honey.

372
00:16:34,619 --> 00:16:38,455
Oh!
Oh, thanks.

373
00:16:38,456 --> 00:16:40,457
Yeah.

374
00:16:40,458 --> 00:16:41,417
Well, you better Watch out,

375
00:16:41,418 --> 00:16:42,918
Or i'll come back For you next.

376
00:16:50,343 --> 00:16:53,345
Okay.

377
00:16:53,346 --> 00:16:54,804
So... this kidnapping

378
00:16:54,805 --> 00:16:57,515
Just got a little bit
More professional.

379
00:16:57,516 --> 00:16:59,059
You're kidding.

380
00:17:05,524 --> 00:17:08,276
And more comfy too, Right?

381
00:17:08,277 --> 00:17:11,863
And just slightly
More humiliating.

382
00:17:13,449 --> 00:17:14,909
Lucky little bastard.

383
00:17:29,465 --> 00:17:32,217
Look, i'd like
To apologize for earlier

384
00:17:32,218 --> 00:17:34,970
For raising my voice And for...

385
00:17:34,971 --> 00:17:38,266
You know, shooting
Near your... manhood.

386
00:17:41,435 --> 00:17:43,229
Beef jerky?

387
00:17:45,398 --> 00:17:46,982
Thank you.
That's very kind.

388
00:17:46,983 --> 00:17:49,526
Okay, so i think We should share

389
00:17:49,527 --> 00:17:51,528
A few important facts
About each other.

390
00:17:51,529 --> 00:17:54,531
Let me guess.
Um...

391
00:17:54,532 --> 00:17:56,283
You're some sort
Of a vice president

392
00:17:56,284 --> 00:18:01,288
Of a‐‐a company
Your father owns.

393
00:18:01,289 --> 00:18:04,082
Okay, that's a yes.

394
00:18:04,083 --> 00:18:05,250
Um...

395
00:18:05,251 --> 00:18:07,586
Your parents
Bought your first house.

396
00:18:07,587 --> 00:18:10,380
You sail and golf.

397
00:18:10,381 --> 00:18:13,466
I'm guessing A 14 handicap.

398
00:18:13,467 --> 00:18:15,802
And you're probably Some sort of

399
00:18:15,803 --> 00:18:19,014
A zeta beta beta Schmeta.

400
00:18:19,015 --> 00:18:22,392
Okay, yes, yes, and yes.

401
00:18:22,393 --> 00:18:24,644
I'm a ten handicap.

402
00:18:24,645 --> 00:18:25,854
Oh, how great for you.

403
00:18:25,855 --> 00:18:28,398
Well, i think It's safe to say

404
00:18:28,399 --> 00:18:30,233
I've lost my job
At taj's diner deluxe.

405
00:18:30,234 --> 00:18:31,860
I live in a crappy loft
Downtown.

406
00:18:31,861 --> 00:18:33,361
I don't golf.

407
00:18:33,362 --> 00:18:35,489
Yeah, that pretty much
Sums it up.

408
00:18:55,259 --> 00:18:57,218
Ugh.

409
00:18:57,219 --> 00:19:00,348
Okay, i'll be right back.

410
00:19:14,737 --> 00:19:17,280
Ooh, there she is!

411
00:19:17,281 --> 00:19:22,118
Look who's here!
Oh, my baby, oh!

412
00:19:22,119 --> 00:19:23,286
Mom, don't cry.

413
00:19:23,287 --> 00:19:24,954
Let me look at you‐‐
Oh, my gosh!

414
00:19:24,955 --> 00:19:26,373
What have you done To your hair?

415
00:19:26,374 --> 00:19:28,083
You look like
One of those actresses

416
00:19:28,084 --> 00:19:29,376
In a pornographic movie.

417
00:19:29,377 --> 00:19:30,627
I have porn star hair?

418
00:19:30,628 --> 00:19:32,337
How do you even know
What a porn star looks like?

419
00:19:32,338 --> 00:19:33,505
Trudie!

420
00:19:33,506 --> 00:19:35,090
Oh, but let me look
At the dress.

421
00:19:35,091 --> 00:19:36,508
Oh, it looks gorgeous.

422
00:19:36,509 --> 00:19:38,343
What do you think, Richard?

423
00:19:38,344 --> 00:19:40,303
I think it's too tight.
Hi, dad.

424
00:19:40,304 --> 00:19:42,305
So what the hell Happened today?

425
00:19:42,306 --> 00:19:44,474
I don't know.
I was late‐‐

426
00:19:44,475 --> 00:19:45,517
Mr. Portnoy did this
As a favor.

427
00:19:45,518 --> 00:19:47,394
You know what?
It's a reflection on me.

428
00:19:47,395 --> 00:19:49,145
I know, and i'm sorry‐‐
I'm sorry.

429
00:19:49,146 --> 00:19:50,397
Could we not talk
About this now?

430
00:19:50,398 --> 00:19:52,023
I don't want To ruin christmas

431
00:19:52,024 --> 00:19:53,316
By all this Negative talk.

432
00:19:53,317 --> 00:19:54,359
Where's nick?

433
00:19:54,360 --> 00:19:55,860
Oh, he's in the car.

434
00:19:55,861 --> 00:19:57,487
But i wanted To tell you guys.

435
00:19:57,488 --> 00:19:58,447
You know when we go
To a restaurant

436
00:19:58,448 --> 00:20:00,699
And dad tells jokes
To the waitresses

437
00:20:00,700 --> 00:20:01,991
And they're stupid
And embarrassing

438
00:20:01,992 --> 00:20:03,076
But he thinks it's funny?
Mm‐hmm.

439
00:20:03,077 --> 00:20:04,369
Well, um, sometimes

440
00:20:04,370 --> 00:20:07,539
When nick feels awkward
In a social situation

441
00:20:07,540 --> 00:20:09,290
He does this whole,
"i didn't want to be here,

442
00:20:09,291 --> 00:20:11,251
I've been Kidnapped" thing.

443
00:20:11,252 --> 00:20:12,919
Kind of weird,
But he thinks it's funny.

444
00:20:12,920 --> 00:20:14,129
So just laugh along

445
00:20:14,130 --> 00:20:15,798
So it doesn't make him
Feel bad, okay?

446
00:20:18,134 --> 00:20:20,468
Okay.

447
00:20:20,469 --> 00:20:22,554
We're very excited To meet him.

448
00:20:22,555 --> 00:20:24,222
Okay, look, dad, please

449
00:20:24,223 --> 00:20:25,473
Try not To embarrass him, okay?

450
00:20:25,474 --> 00:20:27,727
Yeah, fine.

451
00:20:34,316 --> 00:20:36,151
Okay, we're on.

452
00:20:36,152 --> 00:20:37,902
No, i'm not going.

453
00:20:37,903 --> 00:20:39,487
Well, it's nice and warm
In the house.

454
00:20:39,488 --> 00:20:41,698
You'll freeze to death Out here.

455
00:20:41,699 --> 00:20:44,785
Fine, this charade's
About to end right now.

456
00:20:54,253 --> 00:20:55,837
Ahem.

457
00:20:55,838 --> 00:20:56,880
Welcome.

458
00:20:56,881 --> 00:20:58,465
Oh, this is so, So special.

459
00:20:58,466 --> 00:21:02,343
You are the first boyfriend
Trudie's ever brought home.

460
00:21:02,344 --> 00:21:04,637
Yeah, we thought maybe
She liked the innies.

461
00:21:04,638 --> 00:21:06,264
You know, Not the outies.

462
00:21:06,265 --> 00:21:08,975
Oh, my god, richard!
You know what i mean?

463
00:21:08,976 --> 00:21:10,810
Okay.

464
00:21:10,811 --> 00:21:12,479
Listen to me Very carefully.

465
00:21:12,480 --> 00:21:14,397
She forced me To come here.

466
00:21:14,398 --> 00:21:17,358
This woman Held me at gunpoint,

467
00:21:17,359 --> 00:21:19,319
Kidnapped me, and brought me
To this house

468
00:21:19,320 --> 00:21:23,156
As her hostage.

469
00:21:26,160 --> 00:21:27,327
I see what you mean.

470
00:21:27,328 --> 00:21:30,455
What are you laughing at?
Did you just hear me?

471
00:21:30,456 --> 00:21:32,499
Yeah.
Mm‐hmm.

472
00:21:32,500 --> 00:21:34,042
Your daughter is a crazy,
Dangerous, criminal.

473
00:21:34,043 --> 00:21:36,377
Yes, she is!
Ooh...

474
00:21:36,378 --> 00:21:38,755
Would you like Some eggnog?

475
00:21:38,756 --> 00:21:40,965
I have a secret ingredient
That makes all the difference.

476
00:21:40,966 --> 00:21:42,133
It's ground cloves.

477
00:21:42,134 --> 00:21:45,386
What's the matter
With you people?!

478
00:21:45,387 --> 00:21:46,513
Are you all nuts?

479
00:21:46,514 --> 00:21:48,014
All right, honey, That's enough.

480
00:21:48,015 --> 00:21:49,974
I will be right back.
You have yourself a seat, nick.

481
00:21:49,975 --> 00:21:51,267
My name is not nick!

482
00:21:51,268 --> 00:21:52,435
Yeah, he does that too.

483
00:21:52,436 --> 00:21:54,521
And i will not have a seat!

484
00:21:54,522 --> 00:21:56,607
Okay, well, i'm gonna go
Help mom with the eggnog.

485
00:21:59,527 --> 00:22:02,571
Oh.

486
00:22:04,156 --> 00:22:06,491
Come on.

487
00:22:06,492 --> 00:22:09,244
Nick, have a seat.
Come on.

488
00:22:09,245 --> 00:22:10,870
Mom, i was wondering

489
00:22:10,871 --> 00:22:12,455
If i could be
Key master this year.

490
00:22:12,456 --> 00:22:13,706
Really?

491
00:22:13,707 --> 00:22:15,667
Usually you hate
The idea of key master.

492
00:22:15,668 --> 00:22:17,252
Yeah, you know,
The idea of being

493
00:22:17,253 --> 00:22:18,378
Forcibly trapped At the holidays

494
00:22:18,379 --> 00:22:19,671
Used to bother me, But now i see

495
00:22:19,672 --> 00:22:21,673
The higher Social purpose.

496
00:22:21,674 --> 00:22:24,008
Ah‐ha, well, you sure
You can handle grandma?

497
00:22:24,009 --> 00:22:25,426
You know how she is.

498
00:22:25,427 --> 00:22:26,928
And that's before
She dips into the eggnog.

499
00:22:26,929 --> 00:22:28,596
She's like 75 years old.

500
00:22:28,597 --> 00:22:31,474
Yes, but she's still
Freakishly strong.

501
00:22:31,475 --> 00:22:32,560
I think i can handle it.

502
00:22:34,478 --> 00:22:36,272
I'm trusting you.

503
00:23:12,683 --> 00:23:15,227
Hello!

504
00:23:18,397 --> 00:23:22,151
Hello!
Is anyone out there?

505
00:23:26,405 --> 00:23:29,824
Help.

506
00:23:40,669 --> 00:23:44,047
Look, sir, i think
I can clear up

507
00:23:44,048 --> 00:23:45,465
This situation,
And we can forget

508
00:23:45,466 --> 00:23:46,383
The whole thing Ever happened.

509
00:23:46,384 --> 00:23:48,718
I just need to use The phone.

510
00:23:48,719 --> 00:23:50,386
No phones in the house.

511
00:23:50,387 --> 00:23:52,096
What about a cell phone?

512
00:23:52,097 --> 00:23:53,890
Ah, the key master's got
All the cell phones.

513
00:23:53,891 --> 00:23:57,101
Apparently it interferes
With our quality family time.

514
00:23:57,102 --> 00:23:59,812
Yeah, what are You gonna do?

515
00:24:00,940 --> 00:24:02,273
Oh, this place is great!

516
00:24:02,274 --> 00:24:04,317
Oh, wow.

517
00:24:04,318 --> 00:24:05,318
Gang's all here!

518
00:24:05,319 --> 00:24:06,402
Hey!
Hi, dad!

519
00:24:06,403 --> 00:24:08,321
How did my kids
Get so good looking?

520
00:24:08,322 --> 00:24:09,906
Most beautiful girl
In the world.

521
00:24:09,907 --> 00:24:11,115
Merry christmas!

522
00:24:11,116 --> 00:24:12,158
I want to hear All about school.

523
00:24:12,159 --> 00:24:14,702
Hey, how are you, stud?

524
00:24:14,703 --> 00:24:17,330
I'm good.
That's my boy.

525
00:24:17,331 --> 00:24:19,624
Gosh, you look stunning.
Have you lost weight?

526
00:24:19,625 --> 00:24:21,250
No. I cut out
Dairy though.

527
00:24:21,251 --> 00:24:23,378
You look fantastic.
Thanks, mom.

528
00:24:23,379 --> 00:24:24,587
Mom, you look good.
Hi!

529
00:24:24,588 --> 00:24:25,755
Wow, mom, you have really

530
00:24:25,756 --> 00:24:27,340
Made it look perfect

531
00:24:27,341 --> 00:24:28,383
And christmassy.

532
00:24:28,384 --> 00:24:30,259
Thank you.
Yeah, some digs, ma.

533
00:24:30,260 --> 00:24:31,511
What, did you cash in
Dad's 401k?

534
00:24:31,512 --> 00:24:32,804
Hey!

535
00:24:32,805 --> 00:24:34,097
Hey, where's jan?

536
00:24:34,098 --> 00:24:35,264
I thought she was coming.

537
00:24:35,265 --> 00:24:37,141
I told you she had
To stay in town to work.

538
00:24:37,142 --> 00:24:38,351
I'm lucky i could take
The time off.

539
00:24:38,352 --> 00:24:39,769
You work too hard.

540
00:24:39,770 --> 00:24:41,187
Well, markets don't stop
When i'm not there, ma.

541
00:24:41,188 --> 00:24:43,398
Hey, numb nuts, Come here!

542
00:24:43,399 --> 00:24:44,816
Look at this hair!
What is that?

543
00:24:44,817 --> 00:24:47,986
Look at that!
Jake, jake,
We have company.

544
00:24:47,987 --> 00:24:49,487
I would like you to meet
Trudie's boyfriend, nick.

545
00:24:49,488 --> 00:24:50,530
Hey, nice to meet you.

546
00:24:50,531 --> 00:24:52,824
I'm not her boyfriend!

547
00:24:52,825 --> 00:24:55,368
I met her today when
She poked a musket in my ribs,

548
00:24:55,369 --> 00:24:56,828
Tied me up With furry handcuffs,

549
00:24:56,829 --> 00:24:58,746
And drove me to wherever
I am right now.

550
00:24:58,747 --> 00:25:01,958
Furry handcuffs.
Now i'm embarrassed.

551
00:25:05,254 --> 00:25:07,588
He's‐‐it's‐‐
Oh, it's a whole thing.

552
00:25:07,589 --> 00:25:09,132
All right, Come here.

553
00:25:09,133 --> 00:25:10,508
Look, jake‐‐is it jake?
Yeah.

554
00:25:10,509 --> 00:25:12,385
You look like
A reasonable person.

555
00:25:12,386 --> 00:25:14,137
Listen to me, man.

556
00:25:14,138 --> 00:25:15,471
You may think
Your sister is normal.

557
00:25:15,472 --> 00:25:18,182
But she's not.
Believe me.

558
00:25:18,183 --> 00:25:19,809
She is a psychopath.

559
00:25:19,810 --> 00:25:21,853
Tell me about it!

560
00:25:21,854 --> 00:25:23,062
Huh?
Ha ha!

561
00:25:23,063 --> 00:25:25,273
All right, I want eggnog.

562
00:25:25,274 --> 00:25:27,316
Come on, nick.

563
00:25:27,317 --> 00:25:28,485
Merry christmas.
Come on.

564
00:25:36,952 --> 00:25:38,619
Okay, nick, You'll be in here.

565
00:25:38,620 --> 00:25:40,955
And, trudie‐‐
Mom, i am 27 years old.

566
00:25:40,956 --> 00:25:42,373
I'm gonna sleep in the same
Room as my boyfriend.

567
00:25:42,374 --> 00:25:44,417
End of story.

568
00:25:44,418 --> 00:25:47,671
Oh.
Okay, dear.

569
00:25:50,758 --> 00:25:52,508
Yeah, you better get
Used to these bunk beds.

570
00:25:52,509 --> 00:25:54,343
Because that's what
You're gonna be sharing

571
00:25:54,344 --> 00:25:56,471
With you new jail buddies,
Mad dog and roz.

572
00:25:56,472 --> 00:25:58,806
Why don't you try And relax?

573
00:25:58,807 --> 00:26:01,517
Oh, make no mistake, Freak show.

574
00:26:01,518 --> 00:26:03,728
I will find a way Out of here.

575
00:26:03,729 --> 00:26:04,896
And what's gonna Keep me going

576
00:26:04,897 --> 00:26:06,522
Is the look On your twisted face

577
00:26:06,523 --> 00:26:09,067
As they haul you off
To the slammer.

578
00:26:09,068 --> 00:26:11,277
You know, you might as well
Settle down,

579
00:26:11,278 --> 00:26:12,904
Because there's
No way out of here.

580
00:26:12,905 --> 00:26:14,530
See, as the key master,
I have control

581
00:26:14,531 --> 00:26:16,032
Of all the car keys
And cell phones,

582
00:26:16,033 --> 00:26:18,326
Which i've hidden quite well,
If i do say so myself.

583
00:26:18,327 --> 00:26:21,496
So you might as well try
And get a good night's sleep

584
00:26:21,497 --> 00:26:22,538
Because we have a couple
Of big days

585
00:26:22,539 --> 00:26:23,707
Ahead of us, shnookums.

586
00:26:55,656 --> 00:26:59,618
Be the key master.
Be the key master.

587
00:27:19,471 --> 00:27:21,598
There's gotta be
A neighbor somewhere.

588
00:27:27,729 --> 00:27:29,522
Come on, It's lovely weather

589
00:27:29,523 --> 00:27:32,942
for a sleigh ride
Together with you

590
00:27:32,943 --> 00:27:35,111
outside the snow Is falling

591
00:27:35,112 --> 00:27:36,779
and friends Are calling yoo‐hoo

592
00:27:36,780 --> 00:27:40,157
come on, It's lovely weather

593
00:27:40,158 --> 00:27:42,159
for a sleigh ride
Together with you...

594
00:27:42,160 --> 00:27:45,247
So... you've been walking
For what, about an hour?

595
00:27:49,251 --> 00:27:52,378
Look, why don't you just
Come back to the house?

596
00:27:52,379 --> 00:27:54,590
We'll make some
Hot chocolate, okay?

597
00:27:56,592 --> 00:27:58,593
Our cheeks Are nice and rosy

598
00:27:58,594 --> 00:28:00,595
and comfy and cozy Are we

599
00:28:03,307 --> 00:28:05,267
No hot chocolate For you then?

600
00:28:26,288 --> 00:28:28,039
Hello.

601
00:28:28,040 --> 00:28:29,457
Hey, it's me.

602
00:28:29,458 --> 00:28:30,458
What happened To you yesterday?

603
00:28:30,459 --> 00:28:31,584
You looked kind of strange.

604
00:28:31,585 --> 00:28:32,585
And then i turned around
And you were gone.

605
00:28:32,586 --> 00:28:33,586
Are you okay?

606
00:28:33,587 --> 00:28:35,296
Yeah, i'm fine.

607
00:28:35,297 --> 00:28:38,549
Well, not exactly fine.

608
00:28:38,550 --> 00:28:40,343
I think i had a little bit
Of a nervous breakdown.

609
00:28:40,344 --> 00:28:42,303
I didn't know
They came in sizes.

610
00:28:42,304 --> 00:28:44,388
Yeah, and i‐‐

611
00:28:44,389 --> 00:28:45,589
I did something Kind of crazy.

612
00:28:56,401 --> 00:28:57,818
Hey, good morning.

613
00:28:57,819 --> 00:28:59,278
Morning.

614
00:28:59,279 --> 00:29:00,404
Come on, sit down.

615
00:29:00,405 --> 00:29:01,489
I'll make you
A special breakfast.

616
00:29:01,490 --> 00:29:02,990
It's not that big Of a deal.

617
00:29:02,991 --> 00:29:05,117
Not that big of a deal?

618
00:29:05,118 --> 00:29:07,828
You have to let him go
Right now.

619
00:29:07,829 --> 00:29:09,497
What are you gonna do
After the holidays?

620
00:29:09,498 --> 00:29:11,207
You can't keep him.
He's not a puppy.

621
00:29:11,208 --> 00:29:12,249
I know.

622
00:29:12,250 --> 00:29:13,292
Look, i haven't thought
That far ahead,

623
00:29:13,293 --> 00:29:14,293
But i'll figure it out.

624
00:29:14,294 --> 00:29:15,544
I hope you like Eggs benedict,

625
00:29:15,545 --> 00:29:18,422
And i hope You're hungry.

626
00:29:18,423 --> 00:29:20,591
A little fruit salad.

627
00:29:20,592 --> 00:29:22,551
Here you go.

628
00:29:22,552 --> 00:29:24,721
Thank you.
Mm‐hmm.

629
00:29:27,975 --> 00:29:30,267
You didn't sleep
In those clothes, did you?

630
00:29:30,268 --> 00:29:32,478
Yeah, i'm trying
To tell you that‐‐

631
00:29:32,479 --> 00:29:35,940
Oh, you know in all the chaos,
We forgot his suitcase.

632
00:29:35,941 --> 00:29:37,566
That's right.

633
00:29:37,567 --> 00:29:39,318
I left it at the diner.

634
00:29:39,319 --> 00:29:41,904
You know i should really
Call about that, bunny.

635
00:29:41,905 --> 00:29:43,489
Could i borrow
Your phone, please?

636
00:29:43,490 --> 00:29:45,032
Sorry, i didn't bring
My phone, sweet pea.

637
00:29:45,033 --> 00:29:47,326
Yes, your did.
It's in your‐‐

638
00:29:47,327 --> 00:29:50,454
Oh!
Trudie!

639
00:29:50,455 --> 00:29:51,706
Ohh.

640
00:29:51,707 --> 00:29:54,834
You were supposed
To put that away.

641
00:29:54,835 --> 00:29:56,335
Right.
Forgot.

642
00:29:56,336 --> 00:29:57,795
I'll go get you
Something to wear

643
00:29:57,796 --> 00:29:59,130
While i wash Your clothes.

644
00:29:59,131 --> 00:30:00,798
Richard always brings
A few things

645
00:30:00,799 --> 00:30:02,341
He thinks he'll be able
To fit into

646
00:30:02,342 --> 00:30:05,053
If he loses ten pounds.

647
00:30:08,140 --> 00:30:10,307
Give me the phone.
Come and get it.

648
00:30:10,308 --> 00:30:12,019
Give it!
No!

649
00:30:17,774 --> 00:30:19,859
You know, i ran track
In high school.

650
00:30:19,860 --> 00:30:21,360
I played football,
And my nickname was flash.

651
00:30:21,361 --> 00:30:23,113
Ooh, scary!

652
00:30:29,119 --> 00:30:32,288
You know, i was also
Really good at home ec.

653
00:30:32,289 --> 00:30:34,957
Oh, really?
That's useful.

654
00:30:34,958 --> 00:30:36,333
Right, it is.

655
00:30:36,334 --> 00:30:37,418
Because i was really good
At making one dish.

656
00:30:37,419 --> 00:30:38,502
What's that?

657
00:30:38,503 --> 00:30:41,297
Beef tenderloin.

658
00:30:41,298 --> 00:30:43,591
Extra tender.

659
00:30:43,592 --> 00:30:46,344
Don't do it.
Don't do it!

660
00:30:52,225 --> 00:30:53,351
Here you go, nick.

661
00:30:55,353 --> 00:30:58,523
Thank you.

662
00:31:04,613 --> 00:31:07,615
This sucks.

663
00:31:07,616 --> 00:31:10,326
So the sheep dog says,
"the sheep dog don't talk."

664
00:31:10,327 --> 00:31:13,537
You get it?

665
00:31:13,538 --> 00:31:14,789
No.

666
00:31:16,750 --> 00:31:18,292
Oh, you don't get it?

667
00:31:18,293 --> 00:31:19,710
Oh, nice look.

668
00:31:19,711 --> 00:31:22,088
Yeah, reganomics, huh?

669
00:31:22,089 --> 00:31:23,297
No!

670
00:31:26,218 --> 00:31:28,886
I forgot the extra virgin
Olive oil.

671
00:31:28,887 --> 00:31:30,097
How could that Have happened?

672
00:31:38,188 --> 00:31:40,564
I'd be happy to go
To the store for you.

673
00:31:40,565 --> 00:31:42,817
No, mom.

674
00:31:42,818 --> 00:31:44,985
I should go.
It'd be rude to send a guest.

675
00:31:44,986 --> 00:31:46,529
It is a long drive.

676
00:31:46,530 --> 00:31:49,115
No, really, It'd be my pleasure.

677
00:31:49,116 --> 00:31:50,783
Well, nick, Thank you so much.

678
00:31:50,784 --> 00:31:52,284
But you know what?
Richard will drive.

679
00:31:52,285 --> 00:31:53,536
You go with him.
Mom‐‐

680
00:31:53,537 --> 00:31:55,371
Trudie, trudie, i'm gonna
Need your help, honey.

681
00:31:55,372 --> 00:31:57,456
And this is a good opportunity
For the men to, you know,

682
00:31:57,457 --> 00:31:58,958
Have some quality time Together.

683
00:31:58,959 --> 00:32:00,418
Mom!
Gertrude marie.

684
00:32:03,463 --> 00:32:06,841
Well, come on, nick.
Richard will drive.

685
00:32:06,842 --> 00:32:09,760
You go get the keys.

686
00:32:09,761 --> 00:32:10,929
Thank you!

687
00:32:23,108 --> 00:32:25,109
This should undo The damage.

688
00:32:25,110 --> 00:32:26,861
I don't know
What you were thinking.

689
00:32:26,862 --> 00:32:29,405
Who perms Their hair anymore?

690
00:32:29,406 --> 00:32:33,284
No offense, but this
Look says desperate.

691
00:32:33,285 --> 00:32:35,077
Guys can tell when
You're trying too hard.

692
00:32:35,078 --> 00:32:37,079
So you dating anyone
At law school, katie?

693
00:32:37,080 --> 00:32:38,664
I'm dating a few guys.

694
00:32:38,665 --> 00:32:39,748
Katie!

695
00:32:39,749 --> 00:32:42,168
I didn't say i slept With them.

696
00:32:42,169 --> 00:32:44,003
I'm not a slut.

697
00:32:44,004 --> 00:32:45,796
I know.

698
00:32:45,797 --> 00:32:49,008
I just want to know how trudie
Hooked up with nick.

699
00:32:49,009 --> 00:32:50,926
He is so hot.

700
00:32:50,927 --> 00:32:53,429
Oh, i just gave him No choice...

701
00:32:53,430 --> 00:32:54,430
But to love me.

702
00:32:54,431 --> 00:32:56,432
Yeah, well, He is something.

703
00:32:56,433 --> 00:32:57,975
He's well‐spoken.
He's successful.

704
00:32:57,976 --> 00:32:58,976
He's handsome.

705
00:32:58,977 --> 00:32:59,977
I think your father's

706
00:32:59,978 --> 00:33:01,604
Taken a liking to him.

707
00:33:01,605 --> 00:33:03,940
I'm sure they're bonding.

708
00:33:13,450 --> 00:33:15,868
Mister, you have to help me.
I've been kidnapped.

709
00:33:15,869 --> 00:33:17,453
Let me guess.

710
00:33:17,454 --> 00:33:20,289
By a sexy lady In a pink dress.

711
00:33:20,290 --> 00:33:22,499
Yes, yes, you remember!

712
00:33:22,500 --> 00:33:24,835
And she tied you up
And blindfolded you.

713
00:33:24,836 --> 00:33:28,130
Yes, yes, that's right,
That's right!

714
00:33:28,131 --> 00:33:32,218
And she spanks you
And does naughty things.

715
00:33:32,219 --> 00:33:33,844
What are you doing?
Ew, that's disgusting.

716
00:33:33,845 --> 00:33:38,057
Extra virgin Olive oil.

717
00:33:38,058 --> 00:33:39,892
What does that mean?

718
00:33:39,893 --> 00:33:41,435
Can you really be
An extra virgin?

719
00:33:43,271 --> 00:33:45,773
Got a little woman at home

720
00:33:45,774 --> 00:33:49,318
Loves to have everything
Lathered up in oil.

721
00:33:49,319 --> 00:33:51,445
Not that i'm complaining.

722
00:33:51,446 --> 00:33:53,239
That's the best thing
About the holidays.

723
00:33:53,240 --> 00:33:57,661
No guilt.
Right, son?

724
00:33:59,579 --> 00:34:01,122
Oh.

725
00:34:12,342 --> 00:34:14,426
Where in god's name Are we?

726
00:34:14,427 --> 00:34:17,137
I'm freezing My ta‐tas off.

727
00:34:17,138 --> 00:34:18,973
Well, merry christmas
To you too, grandma.

728
00:34:18,974 --> 00:34:20,267
Oh, don't call me that!

729
00:34:23,436 --> 00:34:25,814
Unh!

730
00:34:33,488 --> 00:34:35,155
All right, old man,
I'm not leaving here

731
00:34:35,156 --> 00:34:36,323
Until you help me!

732
00:34:36,324 --> 00:34:38,117
I'm coming back there
And i'm gonna use that phone.

733
00:34:38,118 --> 00:34:39,535
There's not gonna be Any trouble

734
00:34:39,536 --> 00:34:41,787
In my store, Super freak.

735
00:34:41,788 --> 00:34:46,458
Now back that ass up
Nice and slow.

736
00:35:00,432 --> 00:35:02,766
I'm gonna turn the radio‐‐

737
00:35:10,275 --> 00:35:12,401
I'm busting out of here!

738
00:35:12,402 --> 00:35:15,237
Calm down, son!

739
00:35:15,238 --> 00:35:16,280
I just want To go home!

740
00:35:16,281 --> 00:35:18,073
Oh, i know.

741
00:35:18,074 --> 00:35:20,451
Relationships can seem
Suffocating at times,

742
00:35:20,452 --> 00:35:22,078
But, you know, It'll pass.

743
00:35:26,333 --> 00:35:30,629
Now don't you worry.
This'll be our little secret.

744
00:35:37,260 --> 00:35:39,803
There it is.

745
00:35:39,804 --> 00:35:41,263
Sweet.

746
00:35:41,264 --> 00:35:42,806
Don't take the pieces
From my side, please.

747
00:35:42,807 --> 00:35:44,475
There's pieces Missing.

748
00:35:44,476 --> 00:35:47,102
Hi, hi.
How'd it go?

749
00:35:47,103 --> 00:35:48,312
Everything's fine, Honey.

750
00:35:48,313 --> 00:35:50,230
Yeah, everything's fine.

751
00:35:53,109 --> 00:35:54,653
Uh‐oh!

752
00:35:57,280 --> 00:35:59,823
Oh, just like Paul newman.

753
00:35:59,824 --> 00:36:01,367
Nice, firm‐‐

754
00:36:01,368 --> 00:36:02,368
Grandma!

755
00:36:02,369 --> 00:36:04,078
Dolores grant.

756
00:36:04,079 --> 00:36:05,913
Nice to meet you.

757
00:36:05,914 --> 00:36:08,666
Hey, dude, i've got
Some clothes you can borrow.

758
00:36:08,667 --> 00:36:10,042
Come on.

759
00:36:10,043 --> 00:36:14,422
Whatever.
Thanks, man.

760
00:36:18,843 --> 00:36:20,804
I didn't like those pants
Anyway.

761
00:36:22,639 --> 00:36:25,308
Here, try those.

762
00:36:30,397 --> 00:36:32,439
You have a phone?

763
00:36:32,440 --> 00:36:35,401
Yeah.
Keep it to yourself, though.

764
00:36:35,402 --> 00:36:37,444
You know how my mom is
About phones at christmas.

765
00:36:37,445 --> 00:36:39,405
Heh.

766
00:36:39,406 --> 00:36:41,907
Uh, i need to make a call.

767
00:36:41,908 --> 00:36:43,159
Could i borrow it For a minute?

768
00:36:44,452 --> 00:36:45,953
Sure.

769
00:36:45,954 --> 00:36:48,248
Thanks.

770
00:37:03,888 --> 00:37:06,348
I'll be out In a minute!

771
00:37:06,349 --> 00:37:08,767
Let's go in there, Sunshine.

772
00:37:08,768 --> 00:37:10,602
Hi, you've reached
Jessica's voicemail.

773
00:37:10,603 --> 00:37:12,354
Damn it!

774
00:37:19,320 --> 00:37:22,823
Maria.

775
00:37:22,824 --> 00:37:24,742
Hello.

776
00:37:24,743 --> 00:37:26,326
Mrs. Barber, it's david.

777
00:37:26,327 --> 00:37:29,246
Hello, darling.
Merry christmas.

778
00:37:29,247 --> 00:37:30,330
I was looking for jessica,

779
00:37:30,331 --> 00:37:32,416
But i don't have time
For that now.

780
00:37:32,417 --> 00:37:33,667
Listen, i've been Taken hostage!

781
00:37:33,668 --> 00:37:37,129
Maria, i can't Reach my drink!

782
00:37:37,130 --> 00:37:39,423
Mrs. Barber,
Are you there?

783
00:37:39,424 --> 00:37:41,175
Let me get jessica
For you, darling.

784
00:37:41,176 --> 00:37:42,426
Jessica!

785
00:37:42,427 --> 00:37:44,178
No, no, no, mrs. Barber,
Wait, wait, wait!

786
00:37:44,179 --> 00:37:46,054
Maria.

787
00:37:46,055 --> 00:37:47,931
Maria‐‐aah!

788
00:37:47,932 --> 00:37:50,434
Oh, no, mrs. Barber.

789
00:37:50,435 --> 00:37:51,770
Not again.

790
00:37:53,354 --> 00:37:55,272
Hey, where's nick?

791
00:37:55,273 --> 00:37:56,356
He's on the phone.

792
00:37:56,357 --> 00:37:57,691
Phone?
What phone?

793
00:37:57,692 --> 00:37:59,359
My phone.

794
00:37:59,360 --> 00:38:01,362
Oh!
Oh, man!

795
00:38:10,163 --> 00:38:11,830
Hello.

796
00:38:11,831 --> 00:38:14,333
Jessica!
Who's this?

797
00:38:14,334 --> 00:38:15,793
It's david.

798
00:38:15,794 --> 00:38:17,127
I've got something
Really important to tell you.

799
00:38:17,128 --> 00:38:18,837
Really?

800
00:38:18,838 --> 00:38:20,380
Because you said that
You had something important

801
00:38:20,381 --> 00:38:22,634
To say yesterday,
And then you stood me up.

802
00:38:24,385 --> 00:38:26,220
Is my boyfriend In there?

803
00:38:26,221 --> 00:38:29,014
Daisy mae has been in there
Primping for ten minutes.

804
00:38:29,015 --> 00:38:30,474
Open this door!

805
00:38:30,475 --> 00:38:32,351
I skipped My gamma pi delta

806
00:38:32,352 --> 00:38:33,393
Alumni luncheon To meet you.

807
00:38:33,394 --> 00:38:34,354
Jessica, please listen to me.

808
00:38:34,355 --> 00:38:37,147
And i am sure That betsy palmer

809
00:38:37,148 --> 00:38:38,482
Jumped at the chance

810
00:38:38,483 --> 00:38:40,150
To campaign for my spot
As social chair.

811
00:38:40,151 --> 00:38:42,236
Open this door!

812
00:38:42,237 --> 00:38:44,863
I was on broadway once.

813
00:38:44,864 --> 00:38:46,824
Hey!

814
00:38:46,825 --> 00:38:49,076
I was kidnapped
From the restaurant yesterday

815
00:38:49,077 --> 00:38:50,327
By a waitress.

816
00:38:50,328 --> 00:38:51,453
She's about 5'2".

817
00:38:51,454 --> 00:38:53,498
She's got crazy hair
And crazy eyes.

818
00:38:56,543 --> 00:38:58,377
If this is your way
Of getting out

819
00:38:58,378 --> 00:38:59,378
Of christmas eve
With my parents‐‐

820
00:38:59,379 --> 00:39:00,546
Listen to me!

821
00:39:00,547 --> 00:39:02,756
I'm couple hours
Outside the city.

822
00:39:02,757 --> 00:39:04,258
North, i think.

823
00:39:04,259 --> 00:39:07,636
It's a log cabin.
Six plus four, rustic charm.

824
00:39:07,637 --> 00:39:09,429
Are you drunk?

825
00:39:09,430 --> 00:39:11,098
Please, sweetheart, I love you.

826
00:39:11,099 --> 00:39:13,851
The important thing Yesterday?

827
00:39:13,852 --> 00:39:15,185
I was going to propose.

828
00:39:15,186 --> 00:39:18,313
Propose?

829
00:39:18,314 --> 00:39:22,442
Go to the police and
Tell them what's happened.

830
00:39:22,443 --> 00:39:24,361
Jessica, are you there?!

831
00:39:24,362 --> 00:39:27,072
Oh.
You're serious?

832
00:39:27,073 --> 00:39:28,741
Yes!

833
00:39:30,285 --> 00:39:32,871
I have to go.

834
00:39:43,631 --> 00:39:45,716
Did you talk
To someone on the phone?

835
00:39:45,717 --> 00:39:48,385
Nope, couldn't get any
Reception in the bathroom.

836
00:39:48,386 --> 00:39:50,679
I don't believe you.
You talked to someone.

837
00:39:50,680 --> 00:39:53,682
Okay, you're right.
I did.

838
00:39:53,683 --> 00:39:56,393
And it's only a matter
Of time now

839
00:39:56,394 --> 00:39:59,354
Until i'm broken out
Of this asylum.

840
00:39:59,355 --> 00:40:02,024
But i'll tell you
What i'm gonna do.

841
00:40:02,025 --> 00:40:03,358
Until that time,

842
00:40:03,359 --> 00:40:06,320
I've decided I'm gonna help you.

843
00:40:06,321 --> 00:40:08,280
I'm gonna be the best
Boyfriend ever,

844
00:40:08,281 --> 00:40:10,282
And your parents are gonna
Fall in love with me.

845
00:40:10,283 --> 00:40:13,118
Why would you do that?

846
00:40:13,119 --> 00:40:15,579
Because it's gonna be
More satisfying for me

847
00:40:15,580 --> 00:40:18,124
When your family learns
The truth about you.

848
00:40:32,972 --> 00:40:34,556
You have to swing your hips

849
00:40:34,557 --> 00:40:36,058
In conjunction
With your shoulders.

850
00:40:36,059 --> 00:40:37,142
If you watch tiger,
It's all connected.

851
00:40:37,143 --> 00:40:40,145
One fluid motion.
There you go.

852
00:40:40,146 --> 00:40:41,897
Playing through!

853
00:40:41,898 --> 00:40:44,733
Okay.

854
00:40:44,734 --> 00:40:46,693
So what is it You do, nick?

855
00:40:46,694 --> 00:40:49,363
I work for a real estate
Development company.

856
00:40:49,364 --> 00:40:51,323
Really, which one?
Barber and partners.

857
00:40:51,324 --> 00:40:53,992
I know barber and partners.
That's a good company.

858
00:40:53,993 --> 00:40:55,953
My firm did
Some legal work for you

859
00:40:55,954 --> 00:40:57,329
On the pinehurst condos.
Oh, okay.

860
00:40:57,330 --> 00:40:58,705
What do you there?

861
00:40:58,706 --> 00:41:02,334
I'm a vice president
Of new business.

862
00:41:02,335 --> 00:41:03,835
You know, there was a time
We thought trudie,

863
00:41:03,836 --> 00:41:05,462
With all her causes,
Might go to law school

864
00:41:05,463 --> 00:41:06,672
Like her sister katie.

865
00:41:06,673 --> 00:41:10,467
Being a democrat is not
A cause, dad.

866
00:41:10,468 --> 00:41:12,302
But she got her degree
In liberal arts.

867
00:41:12,303 --> 00:41:14,346
Fine arts, dad.

868
00:41:14,347 --> 00:41:15,722
I don't even know
What that means.

869
00:41:15,723 --> 00:41:17,432
It's an expensive Way to say,

870
00:41:17,433 --> 00:41:18,593
"do you want fries
With that?"

871
00:41:22,480 --> 00:41:24,982
Oh, homemade ornaments.

872
00:41:24,983 --> 00:41:27,484
Yeah, trudie made that
When she was five.

873
00:41:27,485 --> 00:41:29,277
She was a little withdrawn
As a child.

874
00:41:29,278 --> 00:41:30,487
Okay, mom.

875
00:41:30,488 --> 00:41:31,989
You know, Her brother and sister

876
00:41:31,990 --> 00:41:33,573
Are so outgoing
And had so many friends.

877
00:41:33,574 --> 00:41:36,326
But trudie was‐‐i don't know‐‐
A little antisocial.

878
00:41:36,327 --> 00:41:38,495
Really?

879
00:41:38,496 --> 00:41:39,663
We even paid a little boy
Down the street

880
00:41:39,664 --> 00:41:41,540
To be her friend,
But he gave us our money back.

881
00:41:41,541 --> 00:41:44,376
All right!

882
00:41:44,377 --> 00:41:46,837
So from then on it was
Trudie and her projects.

883
00:41:46,838 --> 00:41:49,006
And of course bobo blonkers.

884
00:41:49,007 --> 00:41:51,758
Bobo blonkers?

885
00:41:51,759 --> 00:41:53,427
Her imaginary friend.

886
00:41:53,428 --> 00:41:55,470
Thanks, mom.
Thanks a lot.

887
00:41:55,471 --> 00:41:56,471
What?
What was that?

888
00:41:56,472 --> 00:41:58,807
Are you talking
To bobo blonkers right now?

889
00:41:58,808 --> 00:42:00,058
I have an idea.

890
00:42:00,059 --> 00:42:01,351
Why don't we let nick

891
00:42:01,352 --> 00:42:02,978
Put the angel up
On the tree this year?

892
00:42:02,979 --> 00:42:04,271
Um, mom...

893
00:42:04,272 --> 00:42:07,274
I've been doing it
Since i was four years old.

894
00:42:07,275 --> 00:42:08,442
Remember when dad
Used to hold me up

895
00:42:08,443 --> 00:42:10,652
To the top of the tree
And i was so cute up there?

896
00:42:10,653 --> 00:42:12,362
I know, honey.
Don't be selfish.

897
00:42:12,363 --> 00:42:15,407
Dad, it's my thing.

898
00:42:15,408 --> 00:42:17,325
I mean, this is my moment.

899
00:42:17,326 --> 00:42:18,493
You know, it's tradition.

900
00:42:18,494 --> 00:42:19,953
Does anyone care about
That anymore?

901
00:42:19,954 --> 00:42:21,997
Trudie, what's wrong
With starting a new tradition?

902
00:42:21,998 --> 00:42:24,291
Nick, up the tree.

903
00:42:24,292 --> 00:42:26,293
Oh, thanks.
All right.

904
00:42:26,294 --> 00:42:28,712
Thank you.

905
00:42:28,713 --> 00:42:29,755
Yeah.

906
00:42:29,756 --> 00:42:33,300
Hey, there she is.

907
00:42:53,362 --> 00:42:55,405
Woo!

908
00:43:05,458 --> 00:43:07,375
Wow, this is really
A great place.

909
00:43:07,376 --> 00:43:09,461
You know, there's
An incredible craftsmanship

910
00:43:09,462 --> 00:43:12,506
That goes into a cabin
Like this.

911
00:43:12,507 --> 00:43:15,425
I'd say this is adirondack style
With a contemporary twist.

912
00:43:15,426 --> 00:43:17,135
Yes, in the adirondacks,

913
00:43:17,136 --> 00:43:19,721
I starred In a revival of medea.

914
00:43:19,722 --> 00:43:21,681
Yes, we know that, Mother!

915
00:43:21,682 --> 00:43:22,974
You don't need To shout, dear.

916
00:43:22,975 --> 00:43:24,977
I'm not deaf.

917
00:43:26,395 --> 00:43:28,271
Nick, would you like
Another piece of pie?

918
00:43:28,272 --> 00:43:30,482
Sure.

919
00:43:30,483 --> 00:43:33,693
Trudie, would you get him
Another piece of pie, please?

920
00:43:33,694 --> 00:43:36,238
Well, he knows
Where the kitchen is.

921
00:43:36,239 --> 00:43:40,118
Are you trying
To ruin christmas?

922
00:43:42,161 --> 00:43:45,205
Oh, thank you, Bunnykins!

923
00:43:47,375 --> 00:43:50,418
Nick, every christmas eve,

924
00:43:50,419 --> 00:43:52,587
We read 'twas the night
Before christmas.

925
00:43:52,588 --> 00:43:54,131
And i was wondering If maybe

926
00:43:54,132 --> 00:43:55,757
You would like to do The honors.

927
00:43:59,137 --> 00:44:01,263
Really?
Oh, wow.

928
00:44:01,264 --> 00:44:04,432
Okay.

929
00:44:04,433 --> 00:44:07,227
That's it.
I've had enough.

930
00:44:07,228 --> 00:44:08,813
Whoa.

931
00:44:12,525 --> 00:44:15,695
Uh, i'm gonna‐‐yeah.

932
00:44:17,405 --> 00:44:19,866
Yeah, smart.

933
00:44:23,619 --> 00:44:25,370
What's the matter With you?

934
00:44:25,371 --> 00:44:26,580
What's the matter With me?

935
00:44:26,581 --> 00:44:27,664
They're fawning All over you

936
00:44:27,665 --> 00:44:29,291
Like the last piece
Of filet mignon.

937
00:44:29,292 --> 00:44:30,458
That's what you wanted.

938
00:44:30,459 --> 00:44:31,626
Isn't that the whole
Point of all this?

939
00:44:31,627 --> 00:44:33,503
Yeah, but‐‐ But what?

940
00:44:33,504 --> 00:44:36,256
My family likes you

941
00:44:36,257 --> 00:44:39,218
More than... they like me.

942
00:44:43,806 --> 00:44:45,307
Well, i didn't even want
To read the stupid story.

943
00:44:45,308 --> 00:44:47,225
So don't read the story.

944
00:44:47,226 --> 00:44:48,894
I don't care
If you read the story.

945
00:44:48,895 --> 00:44:50,312
Well, then fine.

946
00:44:50,313 --> 00:44:52,731
Then i'm gonna read The story.

947
00:44:52,732 --> 00:44:53,732
Fine.

948
00:44:53,733 --> 00:44:56,318
Fine.

949
00:44:59,405 --> 00:45:02,407
Love this pie.

950
00:45:05,870 --> 00:45:07,537
Is everything okay?

951
00:45:07,538 --> 00:45:09,331
Yeah, it's fine, mom.

952
00:45:09,332 --> 00:45:11,458
Thank you.

953
00:45:11,459 --> 00:45:13,376
Okay, here we go.

954
00:45:13,377 --> 00:45:16,087
"Twas the night
Before christmas,

955
00:45:16,088 --> 00:45:18,298
"When all through The house

956
00:45:18,299 --> 00:45:19,674
"Not a creature Was stirring,

957
00:45:19,675 --> 00:45:21,301
"Not even a mouse.

958
00:45:21,302 --> 00:45:25,096
"The stockings were hung
By the chimney with care

959
00:45:25,097 --> 00:45:29,726
"In hopes that st. Nicholas
Soon would be there.

960
00:45:29,727 --> 00:45:32,812
"The children were nestled
All snug in their beds

961
00:45:32,813 --> 00:45:36,650
While visions of sugarplums
Danced in their heads."

962
00:45:44,325 --> 00:45:46,535
Well done!

963
00:45:50,498 --> 00:45:52,540
Mom, we don't have to leave
Oreos and milk

964
00:45:52,541 --> 00:45:53,792
For santa this year.

965
00:45:53,793 --> 00:45:56,461
What if santa's hungry?

966
00:45:56,462 --> 00:45:57,880
Will you put that away?
Mm‐hmm.

967
00:45:59,382 --> 00:46:01,758
Mom, come on,
We're all adults here.

968
00:46:01,759 --> 00:46:03,218
We don't have to write Letters.

969
00:46:03,219 --> 00:46:04,819
How is santa going to know
What you want?

970
00:46:08,307 --> 00:46:10,058
Good night.

971
00:46:10,059 --> 00:46:12,143
Good night.

972
00:46:12,144 --> 00:46:14,271
Hmm.

973
00:46:14,272 --> 00:46:17,732
You can't eat those.

974
00:46:17,733 --> 00:46:18,817
What's it gonna look like

975
00:46:18,818 --> 00:46:21,486
If santa doesn't eat
His cookies?

976
00:46:21,487 --> 00:46:23,863
Figures you're a dunker.

977
00:46:23,864 --> 00:46:25,073
Of course.

978
00:46:25,074 --> 00:46:26,616
What are you, A twister?

979
00:46:26,617 --> 00:46:29,369
That's so wrong In so many ways.

980
00:46:29,370 --> 00:46:31,455
All right, let's get
This over with.

981
00:46:34,542 --> 00:46:35,917
Oh, this so dumb.

982
00:46:35,918 --> 00:46:38,545
I hope you're not expecting
Much from santa.

983
00:46:38,546 --> 00:46:40,338
A federal offense
Probably puts you

984
00:46:40,339 --> 00:46:43,091
On the naughty list This year.

985
00:46:43,092 --> 00:46:45,343
Laugh it up.
You've gotta do one too.

986
00:46:45,344 --> 00:46:48,346
Hmm?

987
00:46:48,347 --> 00:46:50,141
This may take a while.

988
00:46:58,399 --> 00:47:01,609
I'm gonna ask for a new
Fully loaded s. U. V.

989
00:47:01,610 --> 00:47:03,403
Hmm, interesting.

990
00:47:03,404 --> 00:47:06,364
I'm gonna ask for an end
To global warming.

991
00:47:06,365 --> 00:47:07,866
What, you think my list
Is superficial?

992
00:47:07,867 --> 00:47:09,034
I don't know.
Let me see it.

993
00:47:09,035 --> 00:47:11,036
No.

994
00:47:11,037 --> 00:47:13,038
You want a pasta machine?

995
00:47:13,039 --> 00:47:14,622
I like to cook.

996
00:47:14,623 --> 00:47:17,751
Don't you want something
More, you know, meaningful?

997
00:47:17,752 --> 00:47:20,211
I have everything i want.

998
00:47:20,212 --> 00:47:24,592
Great job.
Beautiful girlfriend.

999
00:47:28,637 --> 00:47:30,430
Let me see yours.

1000
00:47:30,431 --> 00:47:33,975
"tiki lights.
Chinese tea pot.

1001
00:47:33,976 --> 00:47:38,022
Stop disappointing
My parents."

1002
00:47:39,982 --> 00:47:42,442
Come on, i'm sure
That's not true.

1003
00:47:42,443 --> 00:47:44,736
Believe me, it's true.

1004
00:47:44,737 --> 00:47:46,488
Look, your parents
Are good people.

1005
00:47:46,489 --> 00:47:49,741
And they love you.

1006
00:47:49,742 --> 00:47:53,370
I just wish for once
They'd look at me...

1007
00:47:53,371 --> 00:47:54,871
You know, the way
They look at you.

1008
00:47:54,872 --> 00:47:56,414
They do.

1009
00:47:56,415 --> 00:47:58,042
They don't.

1010
00:48:01,045 --> 00:48:03,213
The best christmas
I ever had, i was ten.

1011
00:48:03,214 --> 00:48:05,173
I was taking
Figure skating lessons,

1012
00:48:05,174 --> 00:48:06,508
And i was supposed to have
This big recital

1013
00:48:06,509 --> 00:48:07,550
On christmas eve.

1014
00:48:07,551 --> 00:48:09,427
There was This huge snowstorm

1015
00:48:09,428 --> 00:48:10,428
And they cancelled it.

1016
00:48:10,429 --> 00:48:13,473
Oh, i was so upset.

1017
00:48:13,474 --> 00:48:15,558
But our house had
This patio in the back,

1018
00:48:15,559 --> 00:48:16,810
And My Dad Shoveled It

1019
00:48:16,811 --> 00:48:19,771
And ran the hose over it
And made ice.

1020
00:48:19,772 --> 00:48:22,649
And my mom put lights in all
The trees in the backyard.

1021
00:48:22,650 --> 00:48:27,028
Oh, the glow was So beautiful.

1022
00:48:27,029 --> 00:48:29,906
And it was so quiet.

1023
00:48:29,907 --> 00:48:32,659
And that christmas eve,
I skated my little routine

1024
00:48:32,660 --> 00:48:35,245
With my parents watching.

1025
00:48:35,246 --> 00:48:38,957
It was like i was the only
Person in the whole world.

1026
00:48:38,958 --> 00:48:41,626
They were so proud of me.

1027
00:48:41,627 --> 00:48:44,838
But somewhere along the way
Things changed,

1028
00:48:44,839 --> 00:48:49,384
And i just... wish
They still felt that way

1029
00:48:49,385 --> 00:48:52,930
About me, you know?

1030
00:48:55,599 --> 00:48:57,642
You know, I think parents

1031
00:48:57,643 --> 00:48:59,811
Want the best For their kids.

1032
00:48:59,812 --> 00:49:03,566
But sometimes they don't
Know what that is.

1033
00:49:08,154 --> 00:49:10,489
We should probably
Hide the evidence.

1034
00:49:28,340 --> 00:49:30,800
Hello!

1035
00:49:30,801 --> 00:49:32,302
Hello?

1036
00:49:32,303 --> 00:49:34,137
Hello!

1037
00:49:34,138 --> 00:49:36,848
Excuse me, there's
A concerned citizen here

1038
00:49:36,849 --> 00:49:39,601
Who needs help
From her civil servants.

1039
00:49:39,602 --> 00:49:42,228
Yoo‐hoo!
Hey!

1040
00:49:44,190 --> 00:49:46,357
Somebody better
Pay attention to me.

1041
00:49:46,358 --> 00:49:48,736
She's all yours, pal.

1042
00:49:51,280 --> 00:49:53,865
Let me guess.
Domestic disturbance?

1043
00:49:53,866 --> 00:49:58,244
No, thank you very much.

1044
00:49:58,245 --> 00:50:01,248
I'm here to report A kidnapping.

1045
00:50:07,588 --> 00:50:09,923
Dashing through the snow

1046
00:50:09,924 --> 00:50:12,342
in a one‐horse Open sleigh

1047
00:50:16,388 --> 00:50:18,806
Merry christmas.

1048
00:50:18,807 --> 00:50:21,267
Mother, isn't it A little early?

1049
00:50:21,268 --> 00:50:23,436
Early for who, Sugar britches?

1050
00:50:23,437 --> 00:50:25,355
I have to spend
Another entire day

1051
00:50:25,356 --> 00:50:26,898
Trapped with You yahoos.

1052
00:50:26,899 --> 00:50:30,026
Mama's gonna need A little help.

1053
00:50:30,027 --> 00:50:32,111
Okay.

1054
00:50:32,112 --> 00:50:34,447
Everybody, here's
The schedule for today.

1055
00:50:34,448 --> 00:50:35,823
Jake and katie, you'll be
On kitchen duty with me.

1056
00:50:35,824 --> 00:50:37,575
Richard,
You're chopping firewood.

1057
00:50:37,576 --> 00:50:40,328
Mother‐‐ Hmm?

1058
00:50:40,329 --> 00:50:42,247
Do whatever you want.

1059
00:50:42,248 --> 00:50:45,625
Trudie, you and nick
Go outside and have some fun.

1060
00:50:45,626 --> 00:50:47,293
I've left some warm jackets
And stuff by the back door.

1061
00:50:47,294 --> 00:50:50,547
Presents are at 4:00.
Dinner will be at 7:00.

1062
00:50:50,548 --> 00:50:52,215
That's it!

1063
00:50:52,216 --> 00:50:54,717
You know, about last night,

1064
00:50:54,718 --> 00:50:57,471
I didn't mean to get
Personal, and, you know‐‐

1065
00:51:01,392 --> 00:51:03,017
What?

1066
00:51:03,018 --> 00:51:05,728
Oh, my god.
Never mind.

1067
00:51:05,729 --> 00:51:08,398
What?

1068
00:51:08,399 --> 00:51:09,482
That's great.

1069
00:51:09,483 --> 00:51:11,192
You're just
Checking out my sister.

1070
00:51:11,193 --> 00:51:12,902
I mean, why wouldn't you be?
Of course you are.

1071
00:51:12,903 --> 00:51:14,487
She's gorgeous
And graceful and‐‐

1072
00:51:14,488 --> 00:51:16,739
Your sister is Very limber.

1073
00:51:16,740 --> 00:51:18,741
Ugh.

1074
00:51:18,742 --> 00:51:20,493
You're jealous.

1075
00:51:20,494 --> 00:51:22,161
I am not!
Are too.

1076
00:51:22,162 --> 00:51:23,580
Am not!
Are too!

1077
00:51:23,581 --> 00:51:24,623
Am not!

1078
00:51:26,458 --> 00:51:27,418
Do rich kids Even play hockey?

1079
00:51:27,419 --> 00:51:29,252
I played my fair share.

1080
00:51:29,253 --> 00:51:30,628
Well, i've been playing
With my brother

1081
00:51:30,629 --> 00:51:31,909
Since i could walk, So let's go.

1082
00:51:35,134 --> 00:51:36,926
Yes!

1083
00:51:36,927 --> 00:51:38,303
Oh.

1084
00:51:38,304 --> 00:51:39,638
I'm okay, i'm okay.

1085
00:51:42,641 --> 00:51:44,475
Unh!
Oh!

1086
00:51:44,476 --> 00:51:45,727
You sure you want To do this?

1087
00:51:45,728 --> 00:51:47,479
Yeah, come on.

1088
00:51:50,691 --> 00:51:52,318
Unh! Unh!

1089
00:51:56,530 --> 00:51:58,072
Sorry.

1090
00:51:58,073 --> 00:51:59,907
You know, i gotta
Give it to you.

1091
00:51:59,908 --> 00:52:01,492
You're pretty scrappy.

1092
00:52:01,493 --> 00:52:02,973
Um, i think you've had
Enough for now.

1093
00:52:04,496 --> 00:52:07,498
So what do you do For fun?

1094
00:52:07,499 --> 00:52:09,250
For fun?

1095
00:52:09,251 --> 00:52:11,294
You know, what are you
Interested in?

1096
00:52:11,295 --> 00:52:13,046
I paint.
Really?

1097
00:52:13,047 --> 00:52:14,881
What kind of paintings?

1098
00:52:14,882 --> 00:52:16,674
Portraits mostly.

1099
00:52:16,675 --> 00:52:19,385
You know, like
Post‐impressionist stuff.

1100
00:52:19,386 --> 00:52:21,095
It's a focus on color
Over line‐‐

1101
00:52:21,096 --> 00:52:22,555
I know what
Post‐impressionism is.

1102
00:52:22,556 --> 00:52:25,475
Like cezanne, or more
Like alice neel?

1103
00:52:25,476 --> 00:52:28,269
I love alice neel.
You know alice neel?

1104
00:52:28,270 --> 00:52:31,522
You shouldn't jump
To conclusions about people.

1105
00:52:31,523 --> 00:52:33,483
So what do you besides
Build cookie cutter

1106
00:52:33,484 --> 00:52:35,860
Condominiums For the masses?

1107
00:52:35,861 --> 00:52:38,780
I didn't start out To do that.

1108
00:52:38,781 --> 00:52:40,907
I actually studied Architecture.

1109
00:52:40,908 --> 00:52:43,534
For a while there i thought
I was gonna go out on my own.

1110
00:52:43,535 --> 00:52:45,119
Why didn't you?

1111
00:52:45,120 --> 00:52:47,038
Well, it's risky,
And there's no money in it

1112
00:52:47,039 --> 00:52:48,956
Unless you're established.

1113
00:52:48,957 --> 00:52:50,166
Well, what about Your parents?

1114
00:52:50,167 --> 00:52:51,626
Wouldn't they have
Helped you get started?

1115
00:52:51,627 --> 00:52:52,794
Yeah, they would've

1116
00:52:52,795 --> 00:52:54,337
If they had two nickels
To rub together.

1117
00:52:54,338 --> 00:52:57,465
They were both School teachers.

1118
00:52:57,466 --> 00:52:59,384
They died in a car accident
When i was nine.

1119
00:52:59,385 --> 00:53:03,012
Oh... i'm so sorry.

1120
00:53:03,013 --> 00:53:05,390
But you said
You grew up well off.

1121
00:53:05,391 --> 00:53:07,225
No, you did.

1122
00:53:07,226 --> 00:53:08,518
I lived with my grandfather

1123
00:53:08,519 --> 00:53:11,354
In a one‐bedroom apartment
Until i was 18.

1124
00:53:11,355 --> 00:53:14,732
I worked my way through college
Mowing lawns for the city.

1125
00:53:14,733 --> 00:53:16,567
That must've been tough.

1126
00:53:16,568 --> 00:53:19,445
You know, it actually
Helped me in certain ways.

1127
00:53:19,446 --> 00:53:22,032
I learned at any early age
That we're all on our own.

1128
00:53:35,254 --> 00:53:37,213
Would you go, please?

1129
00:53:37,214 --> 00:53:38,757
Don't rush me.

1130
00:53:47,015 --> 00:53:48,641
Oh, for the love of god!

1131
00:53:48,642 --> 00:53:50,644
Ha!

1132
00:53:53,063 --> 00:53:54,313
Ha.

1133
00:53:54,314 --> 00:53:56,441
Aw, that's too bad.

1134
00:53:56,442 --> 00:53:58,943
Making a move like that
Must be killing you.

1135
00:53:58,944 --> 00:54:00,737
Hey!

1136
00:54:00,738 --> 00:54:03,072
Why do you keep
Hitting yourself?

1137
00:54:03,073 --> 00:54:04,407
Seriously, what are You doing?

1138
00:54:04,408 --> 00:54:06,117
Trudie, i'm starting
To worry about you now.

1139
00:54:06,118 --> 00:54:07,452
Oh, my gosh, you have
To stop that right now.

1140
00:54:07,453 --> 00:54:08,911
Stop!

1141
00:54:08,912 --> 00:54:10,496
Give it back.
I didn't mean to do that.

1142
00:54:10,497 --> 00:54:11,831
But you did it.
It's done.

1143
00:54:11,832 --> 00:54:12,999
It was a mistake.

1144
00:54:13,000 --> 00:54:14,250
You can't take Something back

1145
00:54:14,251 --> 00:54:17,378
Once it's Already done.

1146
00:54:17,379 --> 00:54:19,964
Even if you realize Right away

1147
00:54:19,965 --> 00:54:22,593
It was wrong
And... you're sorry?

1148
00:54:26,263 --> 00:54:29,557
Fine.

1149
00:54:29,558 --> 00:54:31,435
But know That you're a cheater.

1150
00:54:35,564 --> 00:54:37,107
Such a cheater.

1151
00:54:41,320 --> 00:54:43,280
I'm gonna go get
Some milk for these.

1152
00:54:44,531 --> 00:54:48,201
It's covered in stones‐‐

1153
00:54:48,202 --> 00:54:50,245
Oh, oh!

1154
00:54:52,080 --> 00:54:55,166
Oh, well, we're not into
Public displays of affection.

1155
00:54:55,167 --> 00:54:56,250
Right.

1156
00:54:56,251 --> 00:54:57,752
Come on, don't be Such a prude.

1157
00:54:57,753 --> 00:54:59,045
Yeah, sorry.
You have no choice.

1158
00:54:59,046 --> 00:55:00,631
It's mistletoe.

1159
00:55:09,640 --> 00:55:11,516
Mom!

1160
00:55:11,517 --> 00:55:14,477
I'll get the milk.

1161
00:55:14,478 --> 00:55:18,272
Oh, this is it.
The scene of the crime.

1162
00:55:18,273 --> 00:55:21,567
Aren't you gonna Draw your guns?

1163
00:55:21,568 --> 00:55:23,653
Merry christmas!

1164
00:55:23,654 --> 00:55:25,238
Welcome to taj's Diner deluxe.

1165
00:55:25,239 --> 00:55:28,699
We have a delicious
Ho‐ho hot dog special today.

1166
00:55:28,700 --> 00:55:30,368
We're not here to eat.

1167
00:55:30,369 --> 00:55:31,994
We're here Because my boyfriend

1168
00:55:31,995 --> 00:55:35,081
Was kidnapped by one
Of your waitresses yesterday.

1169
00:55:35,082 --> 00:55:37,375
Yeah, female, 5'2",

1170
00:55:37,376 --> 00:55:39,418
Crazy hair, crazy eyes.

1171
00:55:39,419 --> 00:55:42,004
You know anyone who fits
That description?

1172
00:55:42,005 --> 00:55:43,339
Apparently he was taken
At gunpoint.

1173
00:55:43,340 --> 00:55:45,967
Do you know where
She may have gotten a gun?

1174
00:55:45,968 --> 00:55:48,302
Oh, uh, no, no.

1175
00:55:48,303 --> 00:55:50,180
No, i don't know‐‐
I don't know anything.

1176
00:55:57,187 --> 00:56:00,106
Mom, isn't it time For presents?

1177
00:56:00,107 --> 00:56:01,148
Oh, is it?

1178
00:56:01,149 --> 00:56:02,817
It's 4:00 p. M.
Hmm.

1179
00:56:02,818 --> 00:56:04,235
What are you doing?

1180
00:56:04,236 --> 00:56:05,945
Oh, i'm folding
Your father's jockey shorts.

1181
00:56:05,946 --> 00:56:08,698
Sometimes i have dreams

1182
00:56:08,699 --> 00:56:11,492
That hundreds of pairs
Of underwear envelope me.

1183
00:56:11,493 --> 00:56:14,495
Do you ever have
Dreams like that?

1184
00:56:14,496 --> 00:56:16,665
No.
Mom, are you okay?

1185
00:56:18,750 --> 00:56:20,376
Do you know that
Your father's the only man

1186
00:56:20,377 --> 00:56:22,795
I have ever slept with?

1187
00:56:22,796 --> 00:56:25,298
Have you slept
With more than one man?

1188
00:56:25,299 --> 00:56:27,842
No.

1189
00:56:27,843 --> 00:56:29,260
Of course you have.

1190
00:56:29,261 --> 00:56:30,469
It's the way
Of the modern world.

1191
00:56:30,470 --> 00:56:33,097
You boink a whole lot
Of different people.

1192
00:56:33,098 --> 00:56:37,476
You don't just pick one
And hope for the best.

1193
00:56:37,477 --> 00:56:40,521
Well, i'm pretty sure
It's time for presents.

1194
00:56:40,522 --> 00:56:41,523
Come on.

1195
00:56:44,318 --> 00:56:46,277
Oh, honey, you're right.

1196
00:56:46,278 --> 00:56:48,988
Yes, okay, Let's go, go, go.

1197
00:57:15,474 --> 00:57:18,809
Nick, time for presents!

1198
00:57:18,810 --> 00:57:22,271
Grandma.
Jake.

1199
00:57:22,272 --> 00:57:23,814
Thank you.

1200
00:57:23,815 --> 00:57:26,359
Have you noticed anything
Strange about mom?

1201
00:57:26,360 --> 00:57:28,319
Like more than usual?

1202
00:57:28,320 --> 00:57:29,820
Yeah, i just had a weird
Conversation with her,

1203
00:57:29,821 --> 00:57:33,366
And i think she might not
Be so happy with dad.

1204
00:57:33,367 --> 00:57:35,660
What?
That's crazy.

1205
00:57:35,661 --> 00:57:36,786
She used the word "boink."

1206
00:57:36,787 --> 00:57:38,621
Ew.
Yeah.

1207
00:57:38,622 --> 00:57:44,293
Nick, for you.
Trudie, for you.

1208
00:57:44,294 --> 00:57:46,295
Can i?

1209
00:57:46,296 --> 00:57:48,255
Mm‐hmm.
Nick's gonna‐‐

1210
00:57:48,256 --> 00:57:50,091
It's a back scrubber!

1211
00:57:50,092 --> 00:57:52,259
Exfoliation is
The key to good skin.

1212
00:57:52,260 --> 00:57:53,928
Yeah, cool.

1213
00:57:53,929 --> 00:57:55,179
Wow, good job, mom.

1214
00:57:55,180 --> 00:57:57,099
Thank you.

1215
00:58:02,771 --> 00:58:04,605
It just lights up your face.

1216
00:58:04,606 --> 00:58:05,773
Pink.

1217
00:58:05,774 --> 00:58:07,983
Smile!

1218
00:58:07,984 --> 00:58:08,984
Oh, beautiful.

1219
00:58:08,985 --> 00:58:11,404
All right.

1220
00:58:11,405 --> 00:58:12,322
Gotta look the part, son.

1221
00:58:12,323 --> 00:58:13,989
Greed is good.

1222
00:58:13,990 --> 00:58:15,700
Wow.

1223
00:58:15,701 --> 00:58:17,451
Your dad found that.

1224
00:58:17,452 --> 00:58:19,495
It lists every law firm
In america.

1225
00:58:19,496 --> 00:58:20,663
Okay.

1226
00:58:20,664 --> 00:58:22,415
Well, you're always saying

1227
00:58:22,416 --> 00:58:23,499
You don't have enough Underwear.

1228
00:58:23,500 --> 00:58:26,419
Oh, my gosh.
This is really heavy.

1229
00:58:26,420 --> 00:58:29,840
Oh, great For tightening screws.

1230
00:58:33,427 --> 00:58:34,635
Eww...

1231
00:58:34,636 --> 00:58:37,054
I picked that out.

1232
00:58:37,055 --> 00:58:40,350
Oh, trudie, one more gift.
It's for you.

1233
00:58:52,446 --> 00:58:54,530
Well, we just thought that‐‐

1234
00:58:54,531 --> 00:58:56,782
Yeah.

1235
00:58:56,783 --> 00:58:58,033
Hey, look, trudie,

1236
00:58:58,034 --> 00:58:59,452
I don't know what
Happened the other day

1237
00:58:59,453 --> 00:59:01,495
With mr. Portnoy, but...

1238
00:59:01,496 --> 00:59:04,081
I think it's time to get
Your head out of the clouds.

1239
00:59:04,082 --> 00:59:05,875
What do you mean?

1240
00:59:05,876 --> 00:59:07,710
You need to grow up
And get focused

1241
00:59:07,711 --> 00:59:10,087
On a legitimate career.

1242
00:59:10,088 --> 00:59:11,464
You're unsettled.
You're unfocused.

1243
00:59:11,465 --> 00:59:13,174
You need to find something
To do really well.

1244
00:59:13,175 --> 00:59:16,093
But i have, i do.
It's painting.

1245
00:59:16,094 --> 00:59:17,303
I mean, it's the only thing
I care about.

1246
00:59:17,304 --> 00:59:19,263
It's the only thing
That makes me feel like me.

1247
00:59:19,264 --> 00:59:21,766
That has nothing to do
With what i'm talking about

1248
00:59:21,767 --> 00:59:23,267
Right now.

1249
00:59:23,268 --> 00:59:25,144
You can paint, Or draw, or color

1250
00:59:25,145 --> 00:59:26,353
In your spare time.

1251
00:59:26,354 --> 00:59:27,980
I am talking about
Your life here.

1252
00:59:27,981 --> 00:59:29,607
So am i!

1253
00:59:29,608 --> 00:59:31,525
Don't you want to do
Something with your life?

1254
00:59:31,526 --> 00:59:33,152
Yes, but‐‐

1255
00:59:33,153 --> 00:59:34,873
Honey, we just‐‐we were
Just trying to help.

1256
00:59:42,329 --> 00:59:45,164
Um, mr. Chandler,

1257
00:59:45,165 --> 00:59:47,875
If you don't mind me
Saying, sir,

1258
00:59:47,876 --> 00:59:50,461
I've seen trudie's painting.

1259
00:59:50,462 --> 00:59:51,754
And, well,

1260
00:59:51,755 --> 00:59:55,382
They're raw And expressive.

1261
00:59:55,383 --> 00:59:59,678
Complex and, well,
A little strange.

1262
00:59:59,679 --> 01:00:03,475
But... really beautiful.

1263
01:00:07,896 --> 01:00:10,189
And...

1264
01:00:10,190 --> 01:00:11,817
I have one more Gift for her.

1265
01:00:18,532 --> 01:00:20,407
Gertrude chandler...

1266
01:00:20,408 --> 01:00:21,408
Oh!

1267
01:00:21,409 --> 01:00:22,868
Oh!

1268
01:00:22,869 --> 01:00:24,204
Will you marry me?

1269
01:00:29,960 --> 01:00:36,465
Yes.

1270
01:00:36,466 --> 01:00:38,259
Oh, my!

1271
01:00:38,260 --> 01:00:40,719
Oh, my!

1272
01:00:40,720 --> 01:00:43,013
Oh, my gosh!

1273
01:00:43,014 --> 01:00:45,349
This is
The best christmas present

1274
01:00:45,350 --> 01:00:47,852
You could ever give me!

1275
01:00:47,853 --> 01:00:50,479
I'm so excited!

1276
01:00:50,480 --> 01:00:52,314
Oh, i can't wait to start
Planning the wedding!

1277
01:00:52,315 --> 01:00:54,108
Son.

1278
01:00:54,109 --> 01:00:56,277
Congratulations.

1279
01:00:56,278 --> 01:00:58,946
Okay, um, next on the agenda
Is dinner in three hours.

1280
01:00:58,947 --> 01:01:01,282
So, um...

1281
01:01:01,283 --> 01:01:02,491
I'm sorry.

1282
01:01:02,492 --> 01:01:03,993
Everybody just get changed
And do whatever.

1283
01:01:03,994 --> 01:01:08,122
And we'll meet back
In the dinning room at 7:00.

1284
01:01:08,123 --> 01:01:10,876
That's it!

1285
01:01:17,883 --> 01:01:21,927
I don't‐‐
That was... something.

1286
01:01:21,928 --> 01:01:23,429
Well, you know, I figured

1287
01:01:23,430 --> 01:01:25,306
We may as well give them
All the bells and whistles.

1288
01:01:25,307 --> 01:01:27,349
At least for a couple
More hours, right?

1289
01:01:27,350 --> 01:01:28,518
Thank you.

1290
01:01:31,938 --> 01:01:33,814
I assume you made up
The part about the paintings.

1291
01:01:33,815 --> 01:01:35,691
I saw your album.

1292
01:01:35,692 --> 01:01:37,651
It was sticking out
Of your purse.

1293
01:01:37,652 --> 01:01:40,362
Oh, you were looking In my bag?

1294
01:01:40,363 --> 01:01:42,114
Well, the keys Aren't there.

1295
01:01:42,115 --> 01:01:45,993
No, it was an accident.
Relax.

1296
01:01:45,994 --> 01:01:48,203
So do you just carry
An engagement ring

1297
01:01:48,204 --> 01:01:49,330
In your pocket All the time?

1298
01:01:49,331 --> 01:01:50,706
Yeah.

1299
01:01:50,707 --> 01:01:54,418
Right.

1300
01:01:54,419 --> 01:01:57,755
Well, look, i just
Want to say i'm sorry

1301
01:01:57,756 --> 01:02:00,466
About everything.

1302
01:02:00,467 --> 01:02:03,302
To tell you the truth,

1303
01:02:03,303 --> 01:02:06,430
It hasn't been that bad.

1304
01:02:06,431 --> 01:02:08,223
Well, if you can just
Hang in there

1305
01:02:08,224 --> 01:02:09,308
Through christmas dinner,
I promise i'll take you

1306
01:02:09,309 --> 01:02:12,311
Wherever you want
To go tomorrow.

1307
01:02:12,312 --> 01:02:13,939
Heh!

1308
01:02:19,945 --> 01:02:22,446
Hey, mom, can i help you
With anything?

1309
01:02:22,447 --> 01:02:23,614
Oh, yeah.

1310
01:02:23,615 --> 01:02:25,032
You can bundle up
And take out the garbage.

1311
01:02:25,033 --> 01:02:26,618
Thank you very much, Honey.

1312
01:02:32,332 --> 01:02:33,791
Hey.

1313
01:02:33,792 --> 01:02:35,709
What are you doing Out here?

1314
01:02:35,710 --> 01:02:37,628
I'm just enjoying
A little down time.

1315
01:02:37,629 --> 01:02:40,589
Hmm, well...

1316
01:02:42,092 --> 01:02:44,385
That sounds good To me.

1317
01:02:44,386 --> 01:02:47,388
Hey.
Want one?

1318
01:02:47,389 --> 01:02:51,392
Yeah.

1319
01:02:51,393 --> 01:02:54,061
So you're engaged.

1320
01:02:54,062 --> 01:02:56,605
Man.

1321
01:02:56,606 --> 01:02:57,690
I'm so happy for you, Trud.

1322
01:02:57,691 --> 01:02:58,733
Thank you.

1323
01:03:02,320 --> 01:03:03,737
You know‐‐

1324
01:03:03,738 --> 01:03:04,863
I really hope that happens
For me someday.

1325
01:03:04,864 --> 01:03:06,824
What do you mean?
It has happened for you.

1326
01:03:06,825 --> 01:03:07,950
Jen's great.

1327
01:03:07,951 --> 01:03:09,827
Yeah, about that.

1328
01:03:09,828 --> 01:03:11,453
Um...

1329
01:03:11,454 --> 01:03:14,415
Jen and i broke up
Like six months ago.

1330
01:03:14,416 --> 01:03:15,499
Shut up.

1331
01:03:15,500 --> 01:03:18,460
And i've started seeing
Someone else.

1332
01:03:18,461 --> 01:03:19,546
Shut up!

1333
01:03:21,256 --> 01:03:23,632
And his name is ryan.

1334
01:03:23,633 --> 01:03:27,052
Oh, my gosh.

1335
01:03:27,053 --> 01:03:30,806
Well, you know...

1336
01:03:30,807 --> 01:03:32,641
I think maybe i knew.

1337
01:03:32,642 --> 01:03:34,643
Yeah, i knew.

1338
01:03:34,644 --> 01:03:36,770
What?
You didn't know.

1339
01:03:36,771 --> 01:03:38,313
Come on, I didn't even know.

1340
01:03:38,314 --> 01:03:40,941
I mean, i guess
I kind of knew, but‐‐

1341
01:03:40,942 --> 01:03:42,484
Well, does anyone else know?

1342
01:03:45,196 --> 01:03:47,031
I thought i'd tell
Everyone at dinner.

1343
01:03:47,032 --> 01:03:50,659
Are you out of your mind?

1344
01:04:08,803 --> 01:04:10,972
Dolores!

1345
01:04:18,104 --> 01:04:20,230
What are you doing?

1346
01:04:20,231 --> 01:04:22,399
I'm going to back To the city

1347
01:04:22,400 --> 01:04:25,027
To get a decent steak
And a cognac.

1348
01:04:25,028 --> 01:04:26,487
You can't drive.
Give me the keys.

1349
01:04:26,488 --> 01:04:29,531
You want to come along
For the ride, rosebud?

1350
01:04:29,532 --> 01:04:33,452
Come on, let's blow this
Rinky dink log cabin.

1351
01:04:33,453 --> 01:04:36,080
Dolores!

1352
01:04:46,758 --> 01:04:48,634
Oh, my god.

1353
01:04:48,635 --> 01:04:51,345
Grams?

1354
01:04:51,346 --> 01:04:54,890
Oh, my gosh.
Are you okay, grandma?

1355
01:04:54,891 --> 01:04:57,976
Don't touch me
And don't call me that.

1356
01:04:57,977 --> 01:04:59,436
Are you all right?

1357
01:04:59,437 --> 01:05:01,230
Yeah.

1358
01:05:01,231 --> 01:05:03,816
What happened to "i'm not
Trying to escape anymore?"

1359
01:05:03,817 --> 01:05:06,985
I was just trying to make sure
She didn't hurt herself.

1360
01:05:06,986 --> 01:05:09,155
Well, i'm glad you're okay.

1361
01:05:13,952 --> 01:05:16,495
I swear to god,
Mary had better be giving birth

1362
01:05:16,496 --> 01:05:18,580
To baby jesus Outside the‐‐

1363
01:05:18,581 --> 01:05:21,375
Oh, just as good.
Police officers‐‐

1364
01:05:21,376 --> 01:05:23,293
Come on, mrs. Claus.

1365
01:05:23,294 --> 01:05:24,962
It's time for stevie‐wevie
To open another present.

1366
01:05:24,963 --> 01:05:28,924
Cut it out, steve!
What can i do for you?

1367
01:05:28,925 --> 01:05:32,344
The owner said that
You were her best friend.

1368
01:05:32,345 --> 01:05:34,263
I don't know Where they went.

1369
01:05:34,264 --> 01:05:35,472
She just took off.

1370
01:05:35,473 --> 01:05:37,432
You know, when we catch her,

1371
01:05:37,433 --> 01:05:38,475
You'll be put away too

1372
01:05:38,476 --> 01:05:41,436
For accessory To kidnapping,

1373
01:05:41,437 --> 01:05:42,938
Obstructing justice.

1374
01:05:42,939 --> 01:05:46,275
It's‐‐ It's not her fault.

1375
01:05:46,276 --> 01:05:47,569
It's men.

1376
01:05:51,489 --> 01:05:53,950
They drive women crazy.

1377
01:06:07,422 --> 01:06:10,674
Oh, i'm sorry.
It's okay.

1378
01:06:10,675 --> 01:06:13,302
I, um, just...

1379
01:06:13,303 --> 01:06:16,430
Needed the, uh, the...

1380
01:06:16,431 --> 01:06:18,892
Toothpaste.

1381
01:06:20,310 --> 01:06:21,811
Uh...

1382
01:06:24,397 --> 01:06:25,564
Here you go.

1383
01:06:25,565 --> 01:06:27,649
Do you‐‐do you need
To take a shower?

1384
01:06:27,650 --> 01:06:30,569
No, i'll wait till You're dry.

1385
01:06:30,570 --> 01:06:33,323
Dressed.
Done.

1386
01:06:35,074 --> 01:06:37,869
Whew!
Okay.

1387
01:06:39,704 --> 01:06:42,790
Well, i should Probably go now.

1388
01:06:44,834 --> 01:06:46,502
Probably.

1389
01:07:19,661 --> 01:07:22,329
I didn't, uh, mean
To scare you off back there.

1390
01:07:22,330 --> 01:07:24,498
You didn't scare me off.

1391
01:07:24,499 --> 01:07:27,168
You look great.

1392
01:07:29,587 --> 01:07:30,879
So do you.

1393
01:07:30,880 --> 01:07:33,549
Come on, i want
To show you something.

1394
01:07:37,595 --> 01:07:39,596
I'm not giving you
A rematch right now.

1395
01:07:39,597 --> 01:07:42,641
Hold on Just one second.

1396
01:07:42,642 --> 01:07:43,851
Huh?

1397
01:07:45,645 --> 01:07:47,354
Okay, put these on, please.

1398
01:07:47,355 --> 01:07:48,730
It's almost dinnertime,

1399
01:07:48,731 --> 01:07:49,856
And i'm in a dress, You moron.

1400
01:07:49,857 --> 01:07:51,858
Please shut up.
Shut up?

1401
01:07:51,859 --> 01:07:53,694
Just put these on.

1402
01:07:53,695 --> 01:07:55,113
Fine.

1403
01:08:05,623 --> 01:08:07,709
Whoa.

1404
01:08:17,844 --> 01:08:20,137
Oh, my gosh.

1405
01:08:20,138 --> 01:08:23,266
Oh, i can't believe
You did all this.

1406
01:08:26,019 --> 01:08:29,563
It's beautiful.
Thank you.

1407
01:08:29,564 --> 01:08:32,524
You're welcome.

1408
01:08:32,525 --> 01:08:34,651
But you owe me
Something in return.

1409
01:08:34,652 --> 01:08:35,819
What?

1410
01:08:35,820 --> 01:08:37,446
A show.

1411
01:08:37,447 --> 01:08:39,406
No way.
Come on.

1412
01:08:39,407 --> 01:08:41,408
I want to see
This infamous routine.

1413
01:08:41,409 --> 01:08:43,493
Really?

1414
01:08:43,494 --> 01:08:45,163
Okay, but if you laugh...

1415
01:09:30,833 --> 01:09:32,292
Thank you.

1416
01:09:34,587 --> 01:09:37,464
Warm bread.

1417
01:09:37,465 --> 01:09:38,757
Your tie's crooked.

1418
01:09:38,758 --> 01:09:39,758
You tied it.

1419
01:09:39,759 --> 01:09:41,302
It's still crooked.

1420
01:09:44,347 --> 01:09:46,349
Oh!

1421
01:09:50,853 --> 01:09:52,521
Mom?
Hmm?

1422
01:09:52,522 --> 01:09:54,082
Aren't you gonna make
Your annual toast?

1423
01:09:56,526 --> 01:09:58,486
Oh, i'm hungry.
Let's just eat.

1424
01:10:02,448 --> 01:10:04,199
Um, excuse me.

1425
01:10:04,200 --> 01:10:06,368
I, uh, I have something

1426
01:10:06,369 --> 01:10:08,078
I'd like to share With everyone.

1427
01:10:08,079 --> 01:10:10,580
Actually...

1428
01:10:10,581 --> 01:10:12,999
I have something
I'd like to say first.

1429
01:10:13,000 --> 01:10:14,835
It's about school.

1430
01:10:14,836 --> 01:10:16,086
Oh.

1431
01:10:16,087 --> 01:10:18,214
I'm not going To law school.

1432
01:10:20,383 --> 01:10:21,383
What did you say?

1433
01:10:21,384 --> 01:10:24,678
It's just not for me.

1434
01:10:24,679 --> 01:10:26,430
I dropped out Last semester.

1435
01:10:26,431 --> 01:10:27,764
Last semester?

1436
01:10:27,765 --> 01:10:30,308
Well, what have You been doing

1437
01:10:30,309 --> 01:10:32,269
With all the tuition
That i've been sending?

1438
01:10:32,270 --> 01:10:34,479
I used it As a down payment.

1439
01:10:34,480 --> 01:10:36,857
Down payment.
On what?

1440
01:10:36,858 --> 01:10:39,484
On a pilates studio
In california.

1441
01:10:39,485 --> 01:10:41,027
Pilates?

1442
01:10:41,028 --> 01:10:43,029
I don't know what that is.

1443
01:10:43,030 --> 01:10:44,322
Somebody translate that.

1444
01:10:44,323 --> 01:10:48,410
Dad, it's great.

1445
01:10:48,411 --> 01:10:50,328
It's a type of exercise
Mixing ballet techniques

1446
01:10:50,329 --> 01:10:51,872
With yoga, used to stretch
And lengthen the muscles.

1447
01:10:51,873 --> 01:10:55,250
Moving to the land
Of fruits and nuts.

1448
01:10:55,251 --> 01:10:56,691
Gonna lay around all day
And stretch.

1449
01:10:58,963 --> 01:11:02,424
I think it's very creative.

1450
01:11:02,425 --> 01:11:03,592
Kudos, katie.

1451
01:11:03,593 --> 01:11:05,385
Thanks, mom.

1452
01:11:05,386 --> 01:11:07,387
What‐‐what are
You talking about?

1453
01:11:07,388 --> 01:11:09,681
Our daughter's just made
A fool out of us.

1454
01:11:09,682 --> 01:11:12,684
Yeah, you did put one over
On us, didn't you?

1455
01:11:14,437 --> 01:11:16,313
No, you're not dropping
Out of school.

1456
01:11:16,314 --> 01:11:17,898
No, that's not What's happening.

1457
01:11:17,899 --> 01:11:19,149
I'm gonna tell you
What's gonna happen.

1458
01:11:19,150 --> 01:11:20,358
You're gonna get The money back.

1459
01:11:20,359 --> 01:11:22,903
And you're gonna re‐enroll.

1460
01:11:22,904 --> 01:11:25,364
Oh, lighten up, dick.

1461
01:11:34,791 --> 01:11:36,249
Um, ahem.

1462
01:11:36,250 --> 01:11:40,671
Everyone, i, uh, i want
To say something too.

1463
01:11:42,131 --> 01:11:44,049
I'm gay.

1464
01:11:47,303 --> 01:11:48,721
Oh, honey, i know!

1465
01:12:02,819 --> 01:12:05,445
For god's sake, katherine,
What is wrong with you?!

1466
01:12:05,446 --> 01:12:07,447
What's wrong with me?

1467
01:12:07,448 --> 01:12:08,740
Huh?
Let me think.

1468
01:12:08,741 --> 01:12:11,952
Um, i hate the way you moan
When you chew your food.

1469
01:12:11,953 --> 01:12:13,578
What are You talking about?

1470
01:12:16,332 --> 01:12:17,374
It's disgusting!

1471
01:12:17,375 --> 01:12:18,416
It makes me want To throw up.

1472
01:12:18,417 --> 01:12:20,794
And also i hate That we never

1473
01:12:20,795 --> 01:12:23,296
Talk about Anything important!

1474
01:12:23,297 --> 01:12:27,175
Maybe that's because we all
Live in your world, katherine.

1475
01:12:27,176 --> 01:12:29,344
A world where nobody can say
Anything honest

1476
01:12:29,345 --> 01:12:32,389
Because it might be Upsetting!

1477
01:12:32,390 --> 01:12:35,392
You are the puppet master
And i am your little clown!

1478
01:12:35,393 --> 01:12:36,601
Boo!

1479
01:12:36,602 --> 01:12:39,062
Stop it!
God, you two!

1480
01:12:39,063 --> 01:12:40,564
What are you guys doing?

1481
01:12:40,565 --> 01:12:42,274
You think i'm controlling?

1482
01:12:42,275 --> 01:12:44,693
You are the ass who is
Forcing your children

1483
01:12:44,694 --> 01:12:46,528
To become mini versions
Of yourself!

1484
01:12:46,529 --> 01:12:47,488
This isn't my world.

1485
01:12:47,489 --> 01:12:49,030
Because if this was my world,

1486
01:12:49,031 --> 01:12:50,657
I wouldn't have to picture
Clint eastwood

1487
01:12:50,658 --> 01:12:53,493
Just to get through
Our annual birthday sex!

1488
01:12:53,494 --> 01:12:55,288
Oh!

1489
01:13:09,927 --> 01:13:11,804
Aren't you glad You're gay?

1490
01:13:13,389 --> 01:13:15,473
Everybody freeze!

1491
01:13:17,393 --> 01:13:19,311
Freeze!
Calm down, everybody.

1492
01:13:19,312 --> 01:13:20,896
Just relax.

1493
01:13:20,897 --> 01:13:22,314
Wait.
What is going on?

1494
01:13:22,315 --> 01:13:24,566
Reason to believe that woman
Is guilty of kidnapping.

1495
01:13:24,567 --> 01:13:25,942
That can't be.
That's absurd.

1496
01:13:25,943 --> 01:13:28,153
Kidnapping?
Who?

1497
01:13:28,154 --> 01:13:29,487
David martin.

1498
01:13:29,488 --> 01:13:34,200
Who's david martin?

1499
01:13:34,201 --> 01:13:37,662
No, that's Her boyfriend, nick.

1500
01:13:37,663 --> 01:13:41,375
No, mom.
It's not.

1501
01:13:44,378 --> 01:13:46,797
I'm not her boyfriend.

1502
01:13:49,425 --> 01:13:51,384
This is getting weird.

1503
01:13:51,385 --> 01:13:54,596
I don't know
Who brought home the bacon,

1504
01:13:54,597 --> 01:13:56,264
But i'm gonna
Fry it up in a pan!

1505
01:13:56,265 --> 01:13:58,808
Mother, no!

1506
01:13:58,809 --> 01:14:00,060
Somebody has to protect
This family,

1507
01:14:00,061 --> 01:14:01,603
And it looks as though
It's got to be me!

1508
01:14:01,604 --> 01:14:02,979
Ma'am, put the gun down.

1509
01:14:02,980 --> 01:14:04,522
She having a civil war
Flashback?

1510
01:14:04,523 --> 01:14:06,358
She's just had a little
Too much eggnog.

1511
01:14:06,359 --> 01:14:08,318
Um, she's an actress.

1512
01:14:08,319 --> 01:14:10,403
And the gun is probably
Just a prop.

1513
01:14:10,404 --> 01:14:13,114
You take the big one.

1514
01:14:13,115 --> 01:14:14,784
Dolores.

1515
01:14:16,744 --> 01:14:19,412
Oh.

1516
01:14:19,413 --> 01:14:21,332
Oh...

1517
01:14:23,292 --> 01:14:27,296
I‐i was on broadway once.

1518
01:14:29,256 --> 01:14:32,426
I know.

1519
01:14:36,555 --> 01:14:39,558
Merry christmas.

1520
01:14:54,532 --> 01:14:57,867
You were the present

1521
01:14:57,868 --> 01:15:02,288
under my tree...

1522
01:15:02,289 --> 01:15:04,249
Mom‐‐

1523
01:15:04,250 --> 01:15:06,710
Kidnapping?

1524
01:15:06,711 --> 01:15:08,253
Kidnapping?!

1525
01:15:08,254 --> 01:15:09,337
Mom, look at me.

1526
01:15:09,338 --> 01:15:12,298
Where did i go wrong?

1527
01:15:12,299 --> 01:15:13,717
Was i not good mother?

1528
01:15:13,718 --> 01:15:15,010
Yeah, of course you were.

1529
01:15:15,011 --> 01:15:16,094
This is not your fault.

1530
01:15:16,095 --> 01:15:18,263
No, we won't talk About it.

1531
01:15:18,264 --> 01:15:19,639
Dad‐‐

1532
01:15:19,640 --> 01:15:22,059
Not now, trudie.

1533
01:15:25,438 --> 01:15:28,273
Poor schmuck didn't
Press charges.

1534
01:15:31,277 --> 01:15:32,527
You're free to go.

1535
01:15:32,528 --> 01:15:33,946
Thank god.

1536
01:15:40,286 --> 01:15:41,704
Bye.

1537
01:15:47,460 --> 01:15:50,754
Uh, not you, grambo.

1538
01:15:50,755 --> 01:15:53,590
Why, officer!

1539
01:15:53,591 --> 01:15:56,259
What did you have in mind?

1540
01:15:56,260 --> 01:15:58,887
One change purse.

1541
01:15:58,888 --> 01:16:00,722
One can opener/keychain.

1542
01:16:00,723 --> 01:16:03,266
Comes in handier Than you think.

1543
01:16:03,267 --> 01:16:07,687
One‐‐holy crap!
Look at that rock.

1544
01:16:07,688 --> 01:16:10,149
Girl, you hold on To that man.

1545
01:16:13,444 --> 01:16:15,820
Yeah.

1546
01:16:15,821 --> 01:16:19,616
One day i'll walk in

1547
01:16:19,617 --> 01:16:23,328
hand in hand

1548
01:16:23,329 --> 01:16:27,457
in the sun and

1549
01:16:27,458 --> 01:16:33,546
you and i are talking

1550
01:16:33,547 --> 01:16:36,341
realize

1551
01:16:36,342 --> 01:16:42,889
we've begun...

1552
01:16:42,890 --> 01:16:44,307
Hi.

1553
01:16:44,308 --> 01:16:45,767
Hey.

1554
01:16:45,768 --> 01:16:50,396
Just wanted to say thanks
For not pressing charges.

1555
01:16:50,397 --> 01:16:54,150
I can't say i ever imagined
Saying that in a sentence.

1556
01:16:54,151 --> 01:16:57,195
Heh.
Is‐‐is everyone okay?

1557
01:16:57,196 --> 01:16:58,488
Yeah, they're fine.

1558
01:16:58,489 --> 01:17:01,449
They're not too happy
With me right now.

1559
01:17:01,450 --> 01:17:04,828
I really did it this time.

1560
01:17:04,829 --> 01:17:06,496
I wanted to give this
Back to you.

1561
01:17:06,497 --> 01:17:09,165
Thanks.

1562
01:17:09,166 --> 01:17:11,417
Listen...

1563
01:17:11,418 --> 01:17:15,255
This whole situation
Is sort of confusing.

1564
01:17:15,256 --> 01:17:16,297
But i wanted to say‐‐

1565
01:17:16,298 --> 01:17:18,424
David, let's get
Out of here, honey.

1566
01:17:18,425 --> 01:17:20,927
Uh, give me One minute, okay?

1567
01:17:20,928 --> 01:17:22,929
Who's this?

1568
01:17:22,930 --> 01:17:26,141
Is this her?

1569
01:17:26,142 --> 01:17:27,308
You have some nerve.

1570
01:17:27,309 --> 01:17:29,102
Look, i wanted to apologize

1571
01:17:29,103 --> 01:17:30,687
Again to both of you‐‐ Save it.

1572
01:17:30,688 --> 01:17:32,105
You and your band Of hooligans

1573
01:17:32,106 --> 01:17:34,232
Would still be in jail
If it were up to me.

1574
01:17:34,233 --> 01:17:36,569
Let's go.

1575
01:17:39,947 --> 01:17:41,447
I, uh‐‐

1576
01:17:41,448 --> 01:17:42,700
David.

1577
01:17:47,413 --> 01:17:48,830
Take care of yourself.

1578
01:17:48,831 --> 01:17:51,709
Yeah, you too.

1579
01:18:00,176 --> 01:18:04,429
I am not crazy

1580
01:18:04,430 --> 01:18:06,973
and i

1581
01:18:06,974 --> 01:18:10,936
i know What we have known...

1582
01:18:15,232 --> 01:18:18,902
Sure you don't want
Your old job back?

1583
01:18:18,903 --> 01:18:20,987
You want lunch?

1584
01:18:20,988 --> 01:18:22,030
Sure.

1585
01:18:22,031 --> 01:18:25,033
Here.

1586
01:18:25,034 --> 01:18:26,242
What about taj?

1587
01:18:26,243 --> 01:18:27,452
Oh, please.

1588
01:18:27,453 --> 01:18:29,579
You know, he's a softy
Under all that bluster.

1589
01:18:29,580 --> 01:18:31,539
Besides, we've reached
A new stage

1590
01:18:31,540 --> 01:18:32,540
In our relationship.

1591
01:18:32,541 --> 01:18:34,000
Oh, what's that?
Partners.

1592
01:18:34,001 --> 01:18:35,251
That's great!

1593
01:18:35,252 --> 01:18:37,587
Thank you, yeah.

1594
01:18:37,588 --> 01:18:40,256
So how's the real job
Search going?

1595
01:18:40,257 --> 01:18:41,758
Not so great.

1596
01:18:41,759 --> 01:18:43,551
Apparently i have
No real skills.

1597
01:18:43,552 --> 01:18:45,011
Mm‐hmm.

1598
01:18:45,012 --> 01:18:47,472
I don't know.
My parents are right.

1599
01:18:47,473 --> 01:18:49,641
I have to be realistic.

1600
01:18:49,642 --> 01:18:51,142
I can't just wish For something

1601
01:18:51,143 --> 01:18:52,393
That's never gonna happen.

1602
01:18:52,394 --> 01:18:55,355
There is no perfect job,
Perfect family...

1603
01:18:55,356 --> 01:18:56,481
Perfect guy.

1604
01:18:56,482 --> 01:18:58,024
So you haven't
Heard from him then?

1605
01:18:58,025 --> 01:18:59,525
No.

1606
01:18:59,526 --> 01:19:01,110
See, this is what
I'm talking about.

1607
01:19:01,111 --> 01:19:02,528
I can't believe i actually
Thought i had feelings

1608
01:19:02,529 --> 01:19:04,405
For some guy i kidnapped.

1609
01:19:04,406 --> 01:19:06,492
I mean, what did i think
Was gonna happen?

1610
01:19:28,347 --> 01:19:29,889
I like The nuptial script.

1611
01:19:29,890 --> 01:19:32,350
All right, done.

1612
01:19:32,351 --> 01:19:35,353
Where is maria
With the next dress?

1613
01:19:35,354 --> 01:19:37,981
Maria, we have
Three more dresses to go!

1614
01:19:37,982 --> 01:19:39,566
Where are you?

1615
01:19:51,745 --> 01:19:53,372
Do you like That font?

1616
01:19:54,456 --> 01:19:56,958
David!

1617
01:19:56,959 --> 01:19:58,459
The font.

1618
01:19:58,460 --> 01:20:00,753
Uh, ahem.

1619
01:20:00,754 --> 01:20:02,171
I'm sorry.

1620
01:20:02,172 --> 01:20:04,340
I‐i need some air.

1621
01:20:04,341 --> 01:20:06,176
Oh.

1622
01:20:16,353 --> 01:20:18,313
Hey.

1623
01:20:18,314 --> 01:20:20,148
Hey.

1624
01:20:20,149 --> 01:20:22,358
It can be a bit
Overwhelming in there.

1625
01:20:22,359 --> 01:20:23,484
You don't say.

1626
01:20:23,485 --> 01:20:24,902
You all right?

1627
01:20:24,903 --> 01:20:27,572
Yeah.
Yeah, i'm fine.

1628
01:20:27,573 --> 01:20:29,782
Well, we need you inside.

1629
01:20:29,783 --> 01:20:31,368
Okay.

1630
01:20:35,456 --> 01:20:38,458
Uh, jess, um...

1631
01:20:38,459 --> 01:20:40,043
Do you, uh...

1632
01:20:40,044 --> 01:20:42,253
Ever have Any doubts about us?

1633
01:20:42,254 --> 01:20:44,339
What?

1634
01:20:44,340 --> 01:20:46,883
Well, it's just that

1635
01:20:46,884 --> 01:20:49,344
You could be
With any number of guys.

1636
01:20:49,345 --> 01:20:51,387
Why me?

1637
01:20:51,388 --> 01:20:54,390
Because we make sense.

1638
01:20:54,391 --> 01:20:57,393
And we're gonna lead a life
That most people dream of.

1639
01:20:57,394 --> 01:20:58,728
All right, you and i

1640
01:20:58,729 --> 01:21:00,521
Are gonna have
A fairy tale wedding

1641
01:21:00,522 --> 01:21:02,941
And a fairy tale life.

1642
01:21:07,863 --> 01:21:10,073
Maria!

1643
01:21:10,074 --> 01:21:12,659
I hate my life.

1644
01:21:40,479 --> 01:21:41,771
Hello.

1645
01:21:41,772 --> 01:21:43,398
Trud, hey, it's me.

1646
01:21:43,399 --> 01:21:44,649
Hey.

1647
01:21:44,650 --> 01:21:45,733
How's it going?

1648
01:21:45,734 --> 01:21:46,734
Oh, i've been better.

1649
01:21:46,735 --> 01:21:48,861
Did you talk To mom and dad yet?

1650
01:21:48,862 --> 01:21:51,447
No, i've been Avoiding them.

1651
01:21:51,448 --> 01:21:53,408
Trud, you should call them.

1652
01:21:53,409 --> 01:21:55,576
Oh, my god, jake.

1653
01:21:55,577 --> 01:21:57,703
I'm just saying, You know,

1654
01:21:57,704 --> 01:21:59,288
Be the bigger person‐‐

1655
01:21:59,289 --> 01:22:00,540
No, no, no.

1656
01:22:00,541 --> 01:22:02,375
I've been accepted into a show
At gallery 717.

1657
01:22:02,376 --> 01:22:03,418
Wow, that's great.

1658
01:22:03,419 --> 01:22:04,877
It's a new artist exhibit.

1659
01:22:04,878 --> 01:22:05,920
They want a piece from me.

1660
01:22:05,921 --> 01:22:08,131
Trud, that's fantastic.

1661
01:22:08,132 --> 01:22:09,590
When is it?

1662
01:22:09,591 --> 01:22:11,467
A week from saturday.
Will you come with me, please?

1663
01:22:11,468 --> 01:22:13,094
Yes, of course i will.

1664
01:22:13,095 --> 01:22:15,430
Are you gonna tell Mom and dad?

1665
01:22:15,431 --> 01:22:17,640
No, no, i don't want
To fight with them.

1666
01:22:17,641 --> 01:22:19,977
I just want this to be
My night, you know?

1667
01:22:44,251 --> 01:22:46,252
Trud?

1668
01:22:46,253 --> 01:22:48,129
I'm so happy you're here.

1669
01:22:48,130 --> 01:22:49,672
I wouldn't miss it
For the world.

1670
01:22:49,673 --> 01:22:51,674
So, um, this is ryan.

1671
01:22:51,675 --> 01:22:53,342
Hi.

1672
01:22:53,343 --> 01:22:55,303
Jake, you didn't do Her justice.

1673
01:22:55,304 --> 01:22:57,221
It's so nice
To finally meet you.

1674
01:22:57,222 --> 01:22:58,681
So listen, I'm a little nervous.

1675
01:22:58,682 --> 01:23:00,349
I don't know what people
Are saying about the piece,

1676
01:23:00,350 --> 01:23:01,476
So go over And eavesdrop for me.

1677
01:23:01,477 --> 01:23:03,561
Okay, okay.

1678
01:23:03,562 --> 01:23:06,397
But listen, um...
There is one other thing.

1679
01:23:06,398 --> 01:23:07,440
What?

1680
01:23:07,441 --> 01:23:08,733
Now don't freak out,

1681
01:23:08,734 --> 01:23:11,862
But i, uh, i brought
A few more people with me.

1682
01:23:17,326 --> 01:23:21,996
I told you i didn't
Want them here.

1683
01:23:21,997 --> 01:23:24,457
I don't have time
To do this tonight, okay?

1684
01:23:24,458 --> 01:23:25,375
I won't do this.

1685
01:23:25,376 --> 01:23:26,751
Just for one night

1686
01:23:26,752 --> 01:23:28,252
I don't want to feel
Like the black sheep,

1687
01:23:28,253 --> 01:23:29,420
The weird one,
The wrong one, okay?

1688
01:23:29,421 --> 01:23:32,131
Okay.
We hear you.

1689
01:23:32,132 --> 01:23:33,341
What?

1690
01:23:33,342 --> 01:23:35,259
Your father and i Have found

1691
01:23:35,260 --> 01:23:37,428
That keeping open lines
Of honest communication

1692
01:23:37,429 --> 01:23:39,388
Is the only way to restore
A healthy relationship.

1693
01:23:39,389 --> 01:23:41,224
What?

1694
01:23:41,225 --> 01:23:42,518
They've been in therapy.

1695
01:23:44,728 --> 01:23:46,687
It really is working.

1696
01:23:46,688 --> 01:23:50,358
So... what else, honey?
Just let it out.

1697
01:23:50,359 --> 01:23:52,068
I'm tired of trying

1698
01:23:52,069 --> 01:23:54,362
To live up to your ideals,
You know?

1699
01:23:54,363 --> 01:23:56,113
And i won't live my life
To please you.

1700
01:23:56,114 --> 01:23:58,074
I mean, sometimes i feel like
You have no idea who i am.

1701
01:23:58,075 --> 01:23:59,200
Mm‐hmm.

1702
01:23:59,201 --> 01:24:00,701
I'm a slob.

1703
01:24:00,702 --> 01:24:02,745
I mean, sometimes if i leave
A dish in the sink too long

1704
01:24:02,746 --> 01:24:03,996
I just throw it away

1705
01:24:03,997 --> 01:24:05,039
Instead of washing it.

1706
01:24:05,040 --> 01:24:06,249
And, mom, i hate pink.
I hate it.

1707
01:24:06,250 --> 01:24:07,542
And i don't want a job

1708
01:24:07,543 --> 01:24:08,918
In computer sales, dad.

1709
01:24:08,919 --> 01:24:10,836
You know, i'm an artist.
That's who i am.

1710
01:24:10,837 --> 01:24:12,630
And i love you guys,

1711
01:24:12,631 --> 01:24:14,382
But if you make me choose
Between me and you,

1712
01:24:14,383 --> 01:24:15,633
I choose me.

1713
01:24:15,634 --> 01:24:18,719
Okay!

1714
01:24:18,720 --> 01:24:20,930
Okay?

1715
01:24:20,931 --> 01:24:23,724
Yes, okay.

1716
01:24:23,725 --> 01:24:25,476
We hear you.

1717
01:24:25,477 --> 01:24:26,645
Okay.

1718
01:24:28,730 --> 01:24:32,108
You know, we worry
About you, kiddo.

1719
01:24:32,109 --> 01:24:33,109
We don't want you To get hurt.

1720
01:24:33,110 --> 01:24:34,402
We want you To be safe.

1721
01:24:34,403 --> 01:24:35,528
I mean, if i could,
I'd have you live

1722
01:24:35,529 --> 01:24:36,862
Inside of A plastic bubble.

1723
01:24:36,863 --> 01:24:38,364
But i was told that's
A little too impractical.

1724
01:24:38,365 --> 01:24:40,074
And we never meant
To make you feel

1725
01:24:40,075 --> 01:24:43,536
Weird or wrong.

1726
01:24:43,537 --> 01:24:44,830
We love you.

1727
01:24:46,748 --> 01:24:50,377
And whatever you want,
That's what we want for you.

1728
01:24:57,342 --> 01:24:58,509
Thanks, dad.

1729
01:24:58,510 --> 01:25:00,470
Oh, come here.

1730
01:25:02,598 --> 01:25:03,764
I love you so much.

1731
01:25:03,765 --> 01:25:04,808
I love you too, mom.

1732
01:25:07,728 --> 01:25:09,479
Little sis.

1733
01:25:16,361 --> 01:25:18,779
I love your paintings.
I love‐‐

1734
01:25:18,780 --> 01:25:21,657
The compositions Are amazing.

1735
01:25:25,579 --> 01:25:28,039
I'll be back, I'll be back.

1736
01:25:28,040 --> 01:25:29,249
It's great To meet you.

1737
01:25:33,045 --> 01:25:35,379
You okay, sweetheart?

1738
01:25:35,380 --> 01:25:37,006
Someone bought it.

1739
01:25:37,007 --> 01:25:41,427
I know.
It's wonderful.

1740
01:25:41,428 --> 01:25:42,928
What's the matter?

1741
01:25:42,929 --> 01:25:45,973
Just feels different
Than i thought it would.

1742
01:25:45,974 --> 01:25:47,475
Oh, how?

1743
01:25:47,476 --> 01:25:49,518
I don't know, It's just‐‐

1744
01:25:49,519 --> 01:25:51,312
Nick?

1745
01:25:51,313 --> 01:25:54,398
No, not nick.
Well, maybe.

1746
01:25:54,399 --> 01:25:55,858
Well, no, i mean,
It's not nick, it's david.

1747
01:25:55,859 --> 01:25:58,569
It's stupid is what it is.

1748
01:25:58,570 --> 01:25:59,988
It is not stupid.

1749
01:26:04,201 --> 01:26:06,243
If there's One thing i know,

1750
01:26:06,244 --> 01:26:08,454
It's the corrosive
Nature of silence

1751
01:26:08,455 --> 01:26:09,872
Leads to regret.

1752
01:26:09,873 --> 01:26:12,166
And it'll eat away
At you bit by bit.

1753
01:26:12,167 --> 01:26:14,460
Look at your dad and me.
It's never too late.

1754
01:26:14,461 --> 01:26:18,881
Actually, it is.

1755
01:26:18,882 --> 01:26:20,842
He got married today.

1756
01:26:23,845 --> 01:26:25,263
Cheers.

1757
01:26:44,616 --> 01:26:46,534
Hey, hey!

1758
01:26:47,619 --> 01:26:49,829
Just so you know,
I have a black belt,

1759
01:26:49,830 --> 01:26:52,373
And my hands are considered
Lethal weapons.

1760
01:26:52,374 --> 01:26:53,457
Ooh, scary.

1761
01:26:53,458 --> 01:26:56,168
David?
What's going on here?

1762
01:26:56,169 --> 01:26:58,379
Payback.
It's a bitch.

1763
01:26:58,380 --> 01:27:01,382
Aren't you supposed to be
On your honeymoon or something?

1764
01:27:01,383 --> 01:27:03,884
Okay, how about i take
That blindfold off now?

1765
01:27:03,885 --> 01:27:06,471
Huh?
How'd that be?

1766
01:27:08,390 --> 01:27:11,393
Wow.
Where are we?

1767
01:27:13,812 --> 01:27:17,481
Trudie, you are...

1768
01:27:17,482 --> 01:27:20,067
Unorganized, and pushy,

1769
01:27:20,068 --> 01:27:22,069
And crazy.

1770
01:27:22,070 --> 01:27:23,612
I know, and i'm working
On those things.

1771
01:27:23,613 --> 01:27:24,739
And if you'll just
Listen to me‐‐

1772
01:27:24,740 --> 01:27:26,616
And you talk too much.
Okay.

1773
01:27:29,494 --> 01:27:32,913
I lost a lot Because of you.

1774
01:27:32,914 --> 01:27:34,248
But i've realized

1775
01:27:34,249 --> 01:27:35,499
That i don't want
Any of those things.

1776
01:27:35,500 --> 01:27:38,587
Wait.
You don't?

1777
01:27:41,298 --> 01:27:44,342
Everything i want...
Is right here.

1778
01:27:46,428 --> 01:27:50,598
Martin art And architecture.

1779
01:27:50,599 --> 01:27:53,642
A gallery and a studio.

1780
01:27:53,643 --> 01:27:57,354
Wow.
It's amazing.

1781
01:27:57,355 --> 01:28:00,275
And i've just
Acquired my first piece.

1782
01:28:07,991 --> 01:28:09,533
I don't know what to say.

1783
01:28:09,534 --> 01:28:11,661
That's a first.

1784
01:28:16,666 --> 01:28:19,084
I've spent my entire life
Striving for things

1785
01:28:19,085 --> 01:28:20,503
That i didn't even want,

1786
01:28:20,504 --> 01:28:22,505
Because i thought that's
What i was supposed to do.

1787
01:28:22,506 --> 01:28:25,549
I thought i had
Something to prove.

1788
01:28:25,550 --> 01:28:29,386
But i don't have to prove
Anything to anyone anymore.

1789
01:28:29,387 --> 01:28:32,306
You don't?

1790
01:28:32,307 --> 01:28:35,559
Well...

1791
01:28:35,560 --> 01:28:37,437
Maybe one more thing.

1792
01:28:54,579 --> 01:28:57,582
Can you take these Off me now?

1793
01:29:07,801 --> 01:29:10,177
There may be no such thing
As a perfect job,

1794
01:29:10,178 --> 01:29:12,721
A perfect family,
Or a perfect life.

1795
01:29:12,722 --> 01:29:15,474
But there is such a thing
As a perfect moment.

1796
01:29:15,475 --> 01:29:17,726
So i take back What i said.

1797
01:29:17,727 --> 01:29:21,438
Doing one crazy thing
Probably does make you crazy,

1798
01:29:21,439 --> 01:29:24,109
But it can also Make you happy.