1
00:00:00,500 --> 00:00:02,460
[theme song plays]
2
00:00:05,375 --> 00:00:10,325
♪ Todd and Riley were, oh, so sad ♪
3
00:00:10,417 --> 00:00:15,747
♪ Then they came 'cross a Fleemco ad ♪
4
00:00:15,834 --> 00:00:17,134
♪ They sent away a $1.98 ♪
5
00:00:17,208 --> 00:00:18,958
♪ Got a superspy mom ♪
6
00:00:19,041 --> 00:00:21,461
♪ And a daredevil dude of a dad ♪
7
00:00:21,542 --> 00:00:23,672
♪ Replacements ♪
8
00:00:23,750 --> 00:00:25,710
♪ The replacements ♪
9
00:00:25,792 --> 00:00:27,712
♪ Now anytime they come across adults ♪
10
00:00:27,792 --> 00:00:29,792
♪ Who are sly and deny and deprive them ♪
11
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♪ And make things bad ♪
12
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[phone ringing]
13
00:00:33,458 --> 00:00:34,668
[Mr. Fleem]
Hello, Fleemco.
14
00:00:34,750 --> 00:00:36,040
Sir, we need a replacement.
15
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And fast.
16
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♪ And anytime they wanna make a change ♪
17
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♪ Modify and rearrange ♪
18
00:00:41,709 --> 00:00:42,829
♪ Though it might get kinda strange ♪
19
00:00:42,917 --> 00:00:44,497
♪ Make 'em better, nice
And strong and fast ♪
20
00:00:44,583 --> 00:00:47,333
♪ And smart and cool and maybe even lame ♪
21
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♪ Call in the replacements ♪
22
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♪ Replacements ♪
23
00:00:51,125 --> 00:00:52,825
♪ Get the replacements ♪
24
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♪ Just get the replacements ♪
25
00:00:54,709 --> 00:00:56,209
♪ Replacements ♪
26
00:00:56,291 --> 00:00:58,961
♪ Get the replacements ♪
27
00:01:08,792 --> 00:01:10,922
[students chattering]
28
00:01:15,709 --> 00:01:16,959
Ooh! Riley!
29
00:01:17,041 --> 00:01:19,501
Looks like you have a secret admirer.
30
00:01:19,583 --> 00:01:22,173
-Who's it from?
-I have no idea.
31
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"Dear Riley, I can't
hide my feelings any longer.
32
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You're the only girl for me.
33
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I want to be your boyfriend
now and forever.
34
00:01:30,834 --> 00:01:33,504
Love... Shelton Klutzberry?"
35
00:01:33,583 --> 00:01:36,293
Ooh, Riley's got a boyfriend!
36
00:01:36,375 --> 00:01:38,955
[both] ♪ Riley and Shelton
Sitting in a tree ♪
37
00:01:39,041 --> 00:01:42,041
♪ K-I-S-S-I-N-G ♪
38
00:01:42,125 --> 00:01:45,075
Oh! Sorry, Riley.
She's just so fabulously evil.
39
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[all laughing]
40
00:01:47,583 --> 00:01:49,293
Leave Riley alone!
41
00:01:49,375 --> 00:01:51,535
I couldn't possibly
have written that note because...
42
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I already have a girlfriend.
43
00:01:53,750 --> 00:01:55,790
Zelda. See?
44
00:01:55,875 --> 00:01:57,825
[all laughing]
45
00:01:57,917 --> 00:02:01,377
An imaginary girlfriend?
Could he be any more pathetic?
46
00:02:01,458 --> 00:02:03,708
Actually, yes, he could.
47
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[grunts]
48
00:02:05,917 --> 00:02:07,377
[yells]
49
00:02:09,709 --> 00:02:11,209
I am not cleaning that up.
50
00:02:11,291 --> 00:02:13,541
Gold! Pure gold!
51
00:02:13,625 --> 00:02:15,785
I am in the presence of a master.
52
00:02:15,875 --> 00:02:18,825
Wait a minute.
Shelton didn't write this note.
53
00:02:18,917 --> 00:02:20,417
Nice try, Sierra.
54
00:02:20,500 --> 00:02:22,580
What makes you think
I had anything to do with this?
55
00:02:22,667 --> 00:02:26,377
First, it's just the sort of mean,
stuck-up prank you would pull;
56
00:02:26,458 --> 00:02:29,248
and second,
I recognize your stationery.
57
00:02:31,917 --> 00:02:32,957
You have no proof!
58
00:02:33,125 --> 00:02:37,325
Look, I can take a joke, but why did you
have to embarrass poor Shelton?
59
00:02:37,417 --> 00:02:39,787
Ooh! So you do love him.
60
00:02:39,875 --> 00:02:42,245
[all] ♪ Riley and Shelton
Sitting in a tree ♪
61
00:02:42,333 --> 00:02:44,463
♪ K-I-S-S-I-N-G ♪
62
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I'm sorry, but that tune is so catchy.
63
00:02:49,250 --> 00:02:52,290
Having lunch with your
imaginary girlfriend?
64
00:02:52,375 --> 00:02:54,665
Then I guess you should
have imaginary food!
65
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And sit at an imaginary table!
66
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[grunting]
67
00:03:00,583 --> 00:03:02,003
Oh, my back.
68
00:03:02,083 --> 00:03:05,253
You still have much to learn,
young nerd crusher.
69
00:03:05,333 --> 00:03:09,793
Poor Shelton looks miserable,
and all because he came to my defense.
70
00:03:09,875 --> 00:03:11,875
Nah, he looks like that
pretty much all the time.
71
00:03:12,125 --> 00:03:16,035
-I bet I know what'd make him happy.
-A "get out of gym class free" card?
72
00:03:16,125 --> 00:03:18,415
No, a real girlfriend.
73
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-[both] Mmm...
-[kids laughing]
74
00:03:20,667 --> 00:03:22,957
Riley, no, don't do it!
Think of the damage to your reputation.
75
00:03:23,041 --> 00:03:25,921
Worse, think of the damage
to my reputation!
76
00:03:26,000 --> 00:03:28,710
Eww. No!
Nothing like that.
77
00:03:29,917 --> 00:03:31,417
[phone beeping]
78
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[phone ringing]
79
00:03:33,917 --> 00:03:34,957
[Mr. Fleem]
Hello, Fleemco.
80
00:03:35,041 --> 00:03:36,171
Hello, Mr. Fleem?
81
00:03:36,250 --> 00:03:39,250
I want to replace Shelton's
imaginary girlfriend with a real one.
82
00:03:39,333 --> 00:03:41,173
Oh! That could work!
83
00:03:41,250 --> 00:03:42,710
That could never work.
84
00:03:42,792 --> 00:03:44,922
We don't replace imaginary people.
85
00:03:45,000 --> 00:03:48,210
Ohh, couldn't you bend the rules
for a sad and lonely geek
86
00:03:48,291 --> 00:03:50,041
who's constantly getting picked on?
87
00:03:50,125 --> 00:03:52,455
[Mr. Fleem]
Oh, well, I... I...
88
00:03:52,542 --> 00:03:53,502
[all laughing]
89
00:03:53,583 --> 00:03:55,633
[all] ♪ Conrad Fleem, Conrad Fleem ♪
90
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♪ Has a girlfriend in his dreams ♪
91
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Oh!
92
00:04:00,375 --> 00:04:03,035
[all laughing]
93
00:04:04,417 --> 00:04:08,537
[Mr. Fleem] I am gonna find this boy
the best girlfriend we've got.
94
00:04:09,083 --> 00:04:11,833
[announcer]
And now, back to Ace to Face.
95
00:04:11,917 --> 00:04:13,787
But what I really hope to do is direct.
96
00:04:13,875 --> 00:04:15,285
Marvelous!
97
00:04:15,375 --> 00:04:19,825
I, Ace Palmero,
am enthralled with you, Celebrity Star.
98
00:04:19,917 --> 00:04:20,957
Let's change gears.
99
00:04:21,041 --> 00:04:25,251
If boys were milkshakes,
what would your favorite flavor be?
100
00:04:25,750 --> 00:04:29,670
Well, I'd say something like,
oh, I don't know, Klutzberry
101
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with a little sprinkle
of nearsighted nerd on top.
102
00:04:32,417 --> 00:04:33,827
-[tires screech]
-[yells]
103
00:04:34,667 --> 00:04:36,327
[tone]
104
00:04:40,667 --> 00:04:42,917
[laughs]
What are you doing?
105
00:04:43,000 --> 00:04:46,960
Losing to your
imaginary girlfriend at basketball?
106
00:04:47,041 --> 00:04:51,791
-No! We're tied.
-Nerd-bashing time!
107
00:04:51,875 --> 00:04:55,535
Watch this.
Shelton, trash can. Now!
108
00:04:57,500 --> 00:04:58,500
Whoa!
109
00:04:58,583 --> 00:05:01,003
You are on a whole different level.
110
00:05:01,083 --> 00:05:04,253
Oh, wow, look!
Tomorrow's meat loaf!
111
00:05:04,875 --> 00:05:07,995
[sighs]
I guess Conrad couldn't help.
112
00:05:09,583 --> 00:05:11,463
[bird chirping]
113
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[girl gasps]
Look who it is!
114
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[all talking at once]
115
00:05:15,417 --> 00:05:18,247
Hi. I'm Celebrity Star.
I'm new here in school.
116
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Could some nice boy possibly
show me around?
117
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-I will!
-Pick me!
118
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[all] Pick me!
119
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[grunts]
120
00:05:33,917 --> 00:05:36,417
Hi.
What's your name?
121
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[wheezing]
122
00:05:39,291 --> 00:05:42,751
Gosh! You take my breath away, too.
123
00:05:42,834 --> 00:05:45,924
Sinuses clogged...
Can't blow nose.
124
00:05:46,000 --> 00:05:47,920
A monogrammed hanky man.
125
00:05:48,000 --> 00:05:51,080
I adore monogrammed hanky men!
126
00:05:52,125 --> 00:05:54,075
[blows nose]
127
00:05:54,709 --> 00:05:58,249
I know this is sudden,
but would you consider going out with me?
128
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[all screaming]
129
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Holy...
130
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Run of the bus.
131
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Shelton's life is improving already.
132
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Looking good, Klutzberry.
133
00:06:17,917 --> 00:06:19,577
Can we help you carry anything?
134
00:06:19,667 --> 00:06:21,127
Like your girlfriend?
135
00:06:21,208 --> 00:06:23,288
Here, Celebrity!
Sit with us!
136
00:06:23,375 --> 00:06:25,285
Hey!
That's my seat!
137
00:06:25,625 --> 00:06:27,285
What was your name, again?
138
00:06:28,333 --> 00:06:29,713
I'd say having a girlfriend
139
00:06:29,792 --> 00:06:33,002
has bumped up Shelton's
quality of life a thousand fold.
140
00:06:33,083 --> 00:06:35,633
Eh. He still looks miserable to me.
141
00:06:36,250 --> 00:06:38,130
You said he always looks like that.
142
00:06:38,208 --> 00:06:41,668
Still, he should be happier,
shouldn't he?
143
00:06:41,750 --> 00:06:44,330
I did everything right.
He's with the Celebrity Star.
144
00:06:44,417 --> 00:06:45,997
Why isn't he happier?
145
00:06:46,083 --> 00:06:50,463
Perhaps, it's because he can smell Dick's
delightful onion ring breath.
146
00:06:50,542 --> 00:06:52,462
Oh, don't be such a crybaby!
147
00:06:52,542 --> 00:06:56,132
Hey! I didn't get a jolly meal toy!
148
00:06:56,208 --> 00:06:57,078
No fair!
149
00:06:57,166 --> 00:06:59,706
Mom, Dad, can I get your advice
on a boy problem?
150
00:06:59,792 --> 00:07:03,212
Oh, for the love of Pete,
will you just talk to the Hitswell boy?
151
00:07:03,291 --> 00:07:05,881
It's not that kind of boy problem.
152
00:07:05,959 --> 00:07:08,629
What I mean is,
if you were a pathetic loser
153
00:07:08,709 --> 00:07:11,289
and suddenly you were
coupled with a total hottie,
154
00:07:11,375 --> 00:07:12,625
wouldn't that make you happy?
155
00:07:12,709 --> 00:07:14,999
I wouldn't know anything about that.
156
00:07:15,083 --> 00:07:18,963
There's only one sure way
to learn the mysteries of a boy's heart,
157
00:07:19,041 --> 00:07:21,501
but unfortunately,
that sort of interrogation technique
158
00:07:21,583 --> 00:07:24,673
is frowned upon
by the public school system.
159
00:07:25,417 --> 00:07:29,287
So, we'll just have to settle
for shadowing the boy like a hawk.
160
00:07:32,208 --> 00:07:34,418
A romantic picnic in the park.
161
00:07:34,500 --> 00:07:36,580
He's got to be happy about that.
162
00:07:36,667 --> 00:07:38,037
First rule of surveillance:
163
00:07:38,125 --> 00:07:41,825
things aren't always what they seem.
164
00:07:43,125 --> 00:07:45,325
Ah... woodland creatures!
165
00:07:45,417 --> 00:07:47,827
I can't touch them
with the sniffling and the scratching
166
00:07:47,917 --> 00:07:50,037
and the busting out in hives...
167
00:07:50,125 --> 00:07:51,415
[groaning]
168
00:07:51,500 --> 00:07:56,750
Oh, Shelton, you're so adorable
when you swell up like a balloon!
169
00:07:58,834 --> 00:08:00,884
[muttering]
Oh, boy!
170
00:08:00,959 --> 00:08:03,459
One move away from my first win ever.
171
00:08:03,542 --> 00:08:06,962
Oh, these last four years of practice
have been worth it!
172
00:08:07,041 --> 00:08:09,921
See? Having a girlfriend
is inspiring Shelton to--
173
00:08:10,000 --> 00:08:12,500
Win for me, baby!
Muwa!
174
00:08:17,041 --> 00:08:18,381
Muwa...
175
00:08:18,458 --> 00:08:21,208
You tipped over your king.
That means you resign.
176
00:08:21,291 --> 00:08:24,501
I win!
See you in another four years, nerd!
177
00:08:25,000 --> 00:08:26,420
[laughter and cheering]
178
00:08:26,500 --> 00:08:31,250
Oh, Shelton, I just love the way
your head bows in crushing defeat.
179
00:08:31,333 --> 00:08:33,043
[carnival music playing]
180
00:08:35,375 --> 00:08:36,625
Come on!
181
00:08:36,709 --> 00:08:39,419
It's impossible not to be happy
at an amusement park.
182
00:08:43,125 --> 00:08:44,625
D'oh! Mouth germs.
183
00:08:44,709 --> 00:08:46,829
Gingivitis.
Streptococci.
184
00:08:46,917 --> 00:08:50,877
[yells] Skin rash!
Hangnails. Fragile bones.
185
00:08:50,959 --> 00:08:55,249
Oh, Shelton, you say
the most romantic things.
186
00:08:55,333 --> 00:08:58,133
Boy, Shelton is clueless.
187
00:08:58,208 --> 00:09:01,128
They all are, dear.
They all are.
188
00:09:01,208 --> 00:09:03,078
[Shelton]
Motion sickness!
189
00:09:03,166 --> 00:09:05,576
Vertigo! Nosebleed!
190
00:09:05,667 --> 00:09:08,077
[Celebrity]
Oh, stop. I'm blushing.
191
00:09:08,792 --> 00:09:12,462
Shelton!
Whoo-hoo, Shelton!
192
00:09:12,542 --> 00:09:13,382
[Riley grunting]
193
00:09:13,458 --> 00:09:14,708
Shelton?
194
00:09:14,792 --> 00:09:18,082
Please, Riley, you have to hide me
from my g... my...
195
00:09:18,166 --> 00:09:19,326
Your girlfriend?
196
00:09:19,417 --> 00:09:20,957
Don't say that word!
197
00:09:21,041 --> 00:09:23,081
I can't stand it with the googly eyes
198
00:09:23,166 --> 00:09:25,666
and the hand-holding
and the cootie-giving.
199
00:09:25,750 --> 00:09:29,000
Plus, what's gonna happen
when Zelda finds out about Celebrity?
200
00:09:29,083 --> 00:09:31,753
She's imaginary, Shelton.
201
00:09:31,834 --> 00:09:34,174
-Celebrity is real.
-Too real!
202
00:09:34,250 --> 00:09:37,080
An imaginary girlfriend
is all I can handle right now.
203
00:09:37,166 --> 00:09:39,826
I wanted to work my way up
to the real thing.
204
00:09:39,917 --> 00:09:43,537
-Oh, Shelton, I'm so sorry.
-Oh, I know on the outside,
205
00:09:43,625 --> 00:09:45,665
there's the confidence
and the strongliness,
206
00:09:45,750 --> 00:09:48,630
but on the inside, I'm all...
[gibberish]
207
00:09:48,709 --> 00:09:50,959
Hey! Why don't you just
break up with Celebrity?
208
00:09:51,041 --> 00:09:54,291
-I'm allowed to do that?
-Yes, if you want to.
209
00:09:54,375 --> 00:09:56,495
You need to be happy on your own terms.
210
00:09:56,542 --> 00:10:02,252
You're right, Riley.
A man has to be a himself-type person.
211
00:10:02,333 --> 00:10:05,333
I'm going to tell Celebrity
we're breaking up.
212
00:10:05,417 --> 00:10:07,287
I'm sure she'll understand.
213
00:10:07,375 --> 00:10:10,745
I don't understand.
You're breaking up with me?
214
00:10:10,834 --> 00:10:13,334
I just think you should see other nerds.
215
00:10:14,458 --> 00:10:17,578
This has been the greatest
three days of my life.
216
00:10:17,667 --> 00:10:20,497
I'll never let you go.
Never! Ever!
217
00:10:20,583 --> 00:10:21,883
Oh!
218
00:10:22,208 --> 00:10:24,328
Shelton, I am so sor...
219
00:10:24,417 --> 00:10:25,827
[all gasp]
220
00:10:27,166 --> 00:10:28,376
[all yell]
221
00:10:29,834 --> 00:10:33,634
Without your glasses, you're...
a hottie...
222
00:10:33,917 --> 00:10:36,247
Which is totally not my type,
so I'm breaking up with you.
223
00:10:36,834 --> 00:10:38,334
Have a nice life!
224
00:10:38,458 --> 00:10:39,668
[grunts]
225
00:10:40,375 --> 00:10:42,665
These are some heavy glasses.
226
00:10:42,750 --> 00:10:46,920
Yes, with the spine shrinking
and the slumping and overbite-forcing.
227
00:10:47,000 --> 00:10:48,710
-[yells]
-Hands off, Riley.
228
00:10:48,792 --> 00:10:50,542
We saw him without his glasses first!
229
00:10:50,625 --> 00:10:53,825
We knew there had to be a reason
Celebrity liked you, Shelton.
230
00:10:53,917 --> 00:10:57,627
We're here for you now
in your hour of need.
231
00:10:57,709 --> 00:11:01,959
Ladies, please leave me alone!
I don't want another girlfriend!
232
00:11:02,500 --> 00:11:03,710
Shelton!
233
00:11:04,250 --> 00:11:08,420
Ooh! Playing hard to get
makes him even more desirable.
234
00:11:08,625 --> 00:11:10,165
[yelling]
235
00:11:10,250 --> 00:11:11,170
[grunts]
236
00:11:11,250 --> 00:11:13,880
I will... I'll get you for this, Riley!
237
00:11:13,959 --> 00:11:15,499
Oh! Whoa! Whoa!
238
00:11:15,583 --> 00:11:17,543
[girls yelling]
239
00:11:17,750 --> 00:11:19,880
-Hey, Shelly?
-Yes?
240
00:11:19,959 --> 00:11:21,459
I just want to try something.
241
00:11:22,291 --> 00:11:24,251
[groans]
Never mind.
242
00:11:40,667 --> 00:11:41,957
Mmm.
243
00:11:43,333 --> 00:11:48,963
[all chanting] Snow day! Snow day!
Snow day! Snow day! Snow day! Snow day!
244
00:11:49,041 --> 00:11:51,421
Quiet. They're about to announce
the school closings.
245
00:11:51,500 --> 00:11:54,580
[man on radio] It's time to find out
which kids will be getting a long weekend
246
00:11:54,667 --> 00:11:57,167
and which kids
will be doing long division.
247
00:11:57,250 --> 00:12:01,580
[man 2] Washington, closed.
Jefferson, closed.
248
00:12:01,667 --> 00:12:04,497
And as for
George Stapler Middle School... closed!
249
00:12:04,583 --> 00:12:07,043
Not! It's way open!
250
00:12:07,125 --> 00:12:08,955
[all groan]
251
00:12:09,583 --> 00:12:11,253
[cat yowls]
252
00:12:12,208 --> 00:12:13,328
Oh, man!
253
00:12:13,417 --> 00:12:14,917
I was so sure we were gonna be out today,
254
00:12:15,000 --> 00:12:16,630
I didn't bother
finishing my math homework.
255
00:12:16,709 --> 00:12:19,209
Ah, yeah, that's why
I didn't do mine, either.
256
00:12:19,291 --> 00:12:22,211
Ohh, and I wanted to do
a goofy-footed half-pipe alley-oop
257
00:12:22,291 --> 00:12:24,211
with my new rocket-powered snowboard.
258
00:12:24,750 --> 00:12:27,380
Oh. I'll cancel the ambulance.
259
00:12:36,208 --> 00:12:40,078
Come on, kids.
We can still make it to school!
260
00:12:43,417 --> 00:12:44,787
Can you give us a ride to school?
261
00:12:44,875 --> 00:12:47,705
Sorry, kids, but it's much too cold
to go anywhere today.
262
00:12:47,792 --> 00:12:51,382
Oh, come on, C.A.R.!
You've got those transformable ski tires.
263
00:12:51,458 --> 00:12:54,378
I completely forgot about those.
264
00:12:55,083 --> 00:12:56,833
Well, I'm off to hit the slopes.
265
00:13:04,625 --> 00:13:05,625
[wheezes]
266
00:13:05,709 --> 00:13:07,329
-Oh...
-Faster, boy!
267
00:13:07,417 --> 00:13:09,877
This is the happiest day of my...
268
00:13:10,875 --> 00:13:13,955
This is so symbolic
of the human condition writ large.
269
00:13:14,583 --> 00:13:15,793
My turn!
270
00:13:17,333 --> 00:13:18,633
Come on, Tasumi!
271
00:13:18,709 --> 00:13:22,539
[groans]
Joints... frozen!
272
00:13:22,625 --> 00:13:23,745
[creaking]
273
00:13:24,041 --> 00:13:26,711
Go! Save yourselves!
274
00:13:26,792 --> 00:13:28,382
Well, if you insist!
275
00:13:28,875 --> 00:13:32,915
Hey, wait! I didn't mean it.
It's just something you say.
276
00:13:33,000 --> 00:13:37,920
OK! You are back on my list, Riley!
If I could reach it!
277
00:13:38,000 --> 00:13:40,250
[bell rings]
278
00:13:44,041 --> 00:13:45,921
Hey, kids, name's Garth.
279
00:13:46,000 --> 00:13:48,210
Mrs. Martin's missing and presumed cold.
280
00:13:48,291 --> 00:13:50,581
The substitute got frozen in her shower,
281
00:13:50,667 --> 00:13:54,077
and the substitute's substitute
was in a five-snowmobile pileup
282
00:13:54,166 --> 00:13:55,876
on rural route six.
283
00:13:55,959 --> 00:13:57,749
[crashing]
284
00:13:57,834 --> 00:14:00,084
Make that a six-snowmobile pileup.
285
00:14:00,166 --> 00:14:02,916
-So you're gonna teach us?
-Yep.
286
00:14:03,166 --> 00:14:06,786
From janitor to professor
in one quick step.
287
00:14:06,834 --> 00:14:08,674
Whoa!
288
00:14:08,750 --> 00:14:09,920
This is ridiculous.
289
00:14:10,000 --> 00:14:13,040
Janitors teaching geometry?
Ice patches in the classrooms?
290
00:14:13,125 --> 00:14:15,205
I'm going to have
a few words with Principal Cutler.
291
00:14:15,291 --> 00:14:17,041
I am not cleaning this up.
292
00:14:17,834 --> 00:14:20,084
Principal Cutler,
why won't you close the school?
293
00:14:20,166 --> 00:14:21,956
Is this another money-making scheme?
294
00:14:22,041 --> 00:14:23,671
No!
295
00:14:24,375 --> 00:14:27,245
Is there a way I can make money
by closing the school?
296
00:14:27,333 --> 00:14:30,833
I just mean, every other school is closed
because of this blizzard!
297
00:14:30,917 --> 00:14:32,037
Blizzard?
298
00:14:32,125 --> 00:14:34,075
Where I come from,
this is but a light dusting
299
00:14:34,166 --> 00:14:36,166
on an otherwise balmy day.
300
00:14:37,041 --> 00:14:38,671
Care for an ice cubicle?
301
00:14:38,750 --> 00:14:40,080
But I...
302
00:14:40,166 --> 00:14:42,416
Yeah. When you finish your ice cubicle,
be sure to return the stick to me.
303
00:14:42,500 --> 00:14:43,710
They're three cents a pop!
304
00:14:44,083 --> 00:14:45,503
"Mommy and me"?
305
00:14:45,583 --> 00:14:46,753
"Nome, Alaska?"
306
00:14:46,834 --> 00:14:48,714
"Cheap Shots Discount Photos?"
307
00:14:48,792 --> 00:14:51,132
[Cutler]
Get back to class, young lady!
308
00:14:51,208 --> 00:14:52,378
[shivering]
309
00:14:52,458 --> 00:14:54,918
My anger will keep me warm.
310
00:14:55,000 --> 00:14:57,130
Oh, this is ridiculous!
311
00:14:57,208 --> 00:14:58,958
Cutler better let us off tomorrow.
312
00:14:59,041 --> 00:15:01,501
The odds of that happening are,
as Janitor Garth taught us,
313
00:15:01,583 --> 00:15:04,213
-roughly 100 to mop bucket.
-Huh?
314
00:15:04,291 --> 00:15:07,711
-Principal Cutler is part Eskimo.
-Are you sure?
315
00:15:07,792 --> 00:15:08,672
[dogs barking]
316
00:15:08,750 --> 00:15:09,880
See you tomorrow, kids!
317
00:15:09,959 --> 00:15:13,829
Or as they say in Mother's native Inuit,
see you tomorrow!
318
00:15:14,542 --> 00:15:15,632
Pretty sure.
319
00:15:15,709 --> 00:15:19,919
So, the only way we're gonna
get out of school tomorrow is--
320
00:15:20,000 --> 00:15:21,380
Give me the phone.
321
00:15:21,917 --> 00:15:23,417
[phone beeping]
322
00:15:25,208 --> 00:15:26,328
[phone ringing]
323
00:15:26,417 --> 00:15:27,707
[Mr. Fleem]
Hello, Fleemco.
324
00:15:27,792 --> 00:15:30,922
Sir, it is not safe
to go to school in this weather.
325
00:15:31,000 --> 00:15:33,080
We need a principal who hates snow...
326
00:15:33,166 --> 00:15:34,496
for the winter, anyway.
327
00:15:34,583 --> 00:15:37,083
Killer whale!
328
00:15:37,166 --> 00:15:39,076
[people screaming]
329
00:15:39,166 --> 00:15:43,246
Oh! Thank heavens!
It's just a mechanical killer whale.
330
00:15:43,834 --> 00:15:45,794
-[rumbling]
-[kids yelling]
331
00:15:46,250 --> 00:15:49,670
Greetings. I am principal
Kayones from Tobago,
332
00:15:49,750 --> 00:15:52,210
and for the next seven weeks,
I'll run George Stapler
333
00:15:52,291 --> 00:15:55,461
while Principal Cutler oversees
my school overseas.
334
00:15:55,542 --> 00:15:58,882
Mush! Mush!
Before my tan grows uneven! Hah!
335
00:16:05,000 --> 00:16:09,170
So, Principal not-Cutler,
are we gonna get a snow day today or what?
336
00:16:09,250 --> 00:16:12,000
Snow?
I've never seen that before.
337
00:16:15,917 --> 00:16:19,577
Whoa! The sky is falling!
White doom from above!
338
00:16:19,667 --> 00:16:22,877
Burying everything in its wake!
It's unstoppable!
339
00:16:22,959 --> 00:16:27,709
Due to severely terrifying weather,
school is cancelled, cancelled, cancelled!
340
00:16:27,792 --> 00:16:30,212
[kids cheering]
341
00:16:31,208 --> 00:16:34,378
Gosh. I didn't know there was anyone
who disliked snow this much.
342
00:16:34,458 --> 00:16:38,378
Who cares? We got snow to ball,
fort, and angelify! Let's go!
343
00:16:41,667 --> 00:16:43,577
[Dick] Giddyup, noble steed.
344
00:16:43,667 --> 00:16:45,127
[brays]
345
00:16:45,208 --> 00:16:46,748
Ohh.
346
00:16:46,834 --> 00:16:48,634
[grunting]
347
00:16:51,458 --> 00:16:53,038
[groans]
348
00:16:53,792 --> 00:16:56,132
This is the happiest day of my life!
349
00:16:57,917 --> 00:16:58,957
[all laughing]
350
00:16:59,041 --> 00:17:00,881
She triple-dog-dared me.
351
00:17:06,417 --> 00:17:08,747
[C.A.R.]
My trunk's not that big.
352
00:17:13,583 --> 00:17:16,333
[Todd]
Well, the fun had to end sometime.
353
00:17:16,417 --> 00:17:17,667
[breathing heavily]
354
00:17:17,750 --> 00:17:19,330
Door's locked.
355
00:17:20,333 --> 00:17:21,883
Go away! Didn't you read the note?
356
00:17:21,959 --> 00:17:23,499
What note?
357
00:17:24,333 --> 00:17:25,293
Oh, my gosh!
358
00:17:25,375 --> 00:17:28,495
That is the greatest educational
innovation since mystery meat.
359
00:17:28,583 --> 00:17:30,963
School is closed for a slush day!
360
00:17:31,041 --> 00:17:33,251
No, a whole slush week.
361
00:17:33,333 --> 00:17:35,333
[exclaims]
Even better!
362
00:17:35,458 --> 00:17:38,328
Gosh. He really doesn't like snow.
363
00:17:38,417 --> 00:17:40,207
I feel bad for Mr. Kayones.
364
00:17:40,291 --> 00:17:42,581
Bad? It's a week-long weekend!
365
00:17:42,667 --> 00:17:44,707
We're as free as Principal Cutler's cable.
366
00:17:44,792 --> 00:17:47,502
But this was my week
to do the morning announcements.
367
00:17:47,583 --> 00:17:50,383
I planned a whole routine.
What is the deal with homeroom?
368
00:17:50,458 --> 00:17:52,578
It's not my home.
[giggle]
369
00:17:57,250 --> 00:17:58,750
[humming]
370
00:17:58,834 --> 00:18:00,794
[Dick] Look out be-snow!
371
00:18:02,542 --> 00:18:03,502
[yells]
372
00:18:07,625 --> 00:18:09,415
[man on radio]
Just one school closing today,
373
00:18:09,500 --> 00:18:11,460
but what a closing it is!
374
00:18:11,542 --> 00:18:15,422
George Stapler has declared
a snow holiday for the next six weeks!
375
00:18:15,500 --> 00:18:16,670
No school for six weeks!
376
00:18:16,750 --> 00:18:18,630
That's one, two, three, four, five...
377
00:18:18,709 --> 00:18:20,959
At least five times better
than spring break!
378
00:18:21,041 --> 00:18:24,041
But, Todd, we have to make up
for each snow day in the summer.
379
00:18:24,125 --> 00:18:27,205
So? Play now, pay later.
That's the American way.
380
00:18:27,291 --> 00:18:30,461
Todd, at this rate, there won't be
any summer vacation at all!
381
00:18:30,542 --> 00:18:33,082
[yells]
I'm getting Cutler back!
382
00:18:33,166 --> 00:18:37,286
So, you're just going to send the new
principal back home utterly traumatized?
383
00:18:37,375 --> 00:18:41,035
-As fast as possible!
-We never meant to hurt Mr. Kayones.
384
00:18:41,125 --> 00:18:44,375
And I guess I just assumed that once
he got back home, he'd snap out of it?
385
00:18:44,458 --> 00:18:47,078
You should know that your actions
have consequences,
386
00:18:47,166 --> 00:18:48,876
no matter what you assumed.
387
00:18:48,959 --> 00:18:50,459
Remember when you
didn't finish your homework
388
00:18:50,542 --> 00:18:52,962
because you assumed
they would cancel school?
389
00:18:53,041 --> 00:18:55,001
The janitor gave you a "G."
390
00:18:55,083 --> 00:18:55,923
You're right.
391
00:18:56,000 --> 00:18:58,210
Todd, we have to take
responsibility for this.
392
00:18:58,291 --> 00:19:00,921
Maybe we can show him that snow
is nothing to be afraid of,
393
00:19:01,000 --> 00:19:02,710
that it's actually fun!
394
00:19:03,125 --> 00:19:06,575
OK. But when that doesn't work,
we're gonna call Fleemco, right?
395
00:19:06,667 --> 00:19:07,577
Oh, yeah! Of course!
396
00:19:07,667 --> 00:19:09,037
[sighs]
397
00:19:09,333 --> 00:19:10,833
[Riley] Mr. Kayones?
398
00:19:10,917 --> 00:19:12,207
[Todd] Hey, scared guy!
399
00:19:12,291 --> 00:19:14,631
Mr. Kayones?
Yoo-hoo.
400
00:19:15,959 --> 00:19:18,419
School is closed! Go home!
Save yourselves!
401
00:19:18,500 --> 00:19:22,000
We're not here for school.
We're here to help, to teach you.
402
00:19:22,083 --> 00:19:25,253
A student teaching a principal?
Now I have seen everything.
403
00:19:25,333 --> 00:19:28,133
Mechanical killer whale, check.
Snow, check.
404
00:19:28,208 --> 00:19:29,878
Student teaching principal, check.
405
00:19:29,959 --> 00:19:32,879
We want to teach you to love snow!
406
00:19:32,959 --> 00:19:34,129
[yells] Snow! Where?
407
00:19:34,208 --> 00:19:37,288
-Well, time to call Fleemco.
-No, Todd. We can do this.
408
00:19:37,917 --> 00:19:41,287
Oh, it is so cold, so very cold.
409
00:19:41,375 --> 00:19:45,575
-It's just paper.
-But it's very cold paper.
410
00:19:48,125 --> 00:19:51,165
I'm melting! I'm melting!
411
00:19:52,208 --> 00:19:54,578
Look. It's melting.
412
00:19:55,917 --> 00:19:58,457
[laughs]
413
00:19:58,542 --> 00:19:59,542
Huh?
414
00:20:00,542 --> 00:20:02,462
[all laughing]
415
00:20:02,542 --> 00:20:07,212
You're moving up my list!
Right about... [muffled]
416
00:20:09,000 --> 00:20:11,040
[cheering and laughing]
417
00:20:11,125 --> 00:20:12,915
[all grunting]
418
00:20:13,917 --> 00:20:15,877
[laughing]
419
00:20:16,625 --> 00:20:19,245
[man on radio]
Man, it's snowing cats and dogs.
420
00:20:19,333 --> 00:20:21,253
[man 2]
Nobody is going to school today...
421
00:20:21,333 --> 00:20:22,213
[all groan]
422
00:20:22,291 --> 00:20:25,001
Except for those losers at George Stapler!
423
00:20:25,083 --> 00:20:27,423
[all cheering]
424
00:20:33,542 --> 00:20:38,422
-Isn't it a glorious day?
-It certainly is.
425
00:20:40,625 --> 00:20:43,625
Well, your Principal Cutler
returns tomorrow.
426
00:20:43,709 --> 00:20:47,499
My time here has been wonderful,
thanks to two special children.
427
00:20:47,583 --> 00:20:49,923
No, not them. Them!
428
00:20:50,000 --> 00:20:52,460
I learned to stop worrying
and to love the snow.
429
00:20:52,542 --> 00:20:55,002
Oh, how I will miss the snow!
430
00:20:55,083 --> 00:20:56,583
Goodbye, children.
431
00:20:56,667 --> 00:21:02,167
Now I must return to Tobago,
where there is no snow... ever!
432
00:21:02,250 --> 00:21:03,880
[crying]
433
00:21:03,959 --> 00:21:07,919
After everything we went through,
he just wound up sad again.
434
00:21:08,250 --> 00:21:09,830
I've got an idea.
435
00:21:10,083 --> 00:21:10,963
[phone beeping]
436
00:21:11,041 --> 00:21:11,881
[phone ringing]
437
00:21:11,959 --> 00:21:13,249
[Mr. Fleem]
Hello, Fleemco.
438
00:21:13,333 --> 00:21:14,173
[Todd] Mr. Fleem?
439
00:21:14,250 --> 00:21:16,380
Have you ever thought of
sponsoring a sports team?
440
00:21:17,208 --> 00:21:18,418
[Mr. Kayones] Stop!
441
00:21:20,166 --> 00:21:22,286
This informative mechanical killer whale
442
00:21:22,375 --> 00:21:24,995
has told me that I am to captain
the suddenly-created
443
00:21:25,083 --> 00:21:26,423
Tobagonian toboggan team,
444
00:21:26,500 --> 00:21:31,960
which trains in beautiful snow
in Nome, Alaska, starting today!
445
00:21:32,041 --> 00:21:34,421
How's that for responsibility?
446
00:21:36,125 --> 00:21:37,875
Uh, that's great, except for the fact
447
00:21:37,959 --> 00:21:40,079
that we won't have a principal
until Cutler gets back.
448
00:21:40,166 --> 00:21:42,076
-Did you think of that?
-Uh, well...
449
00:21:42,166 --> 00:21:44,826
Don't worry, kids. I got you covered.
450
00:21:44,917 --> 00:21:47,577
I'm ready for some serious principifying.
451
00:21:47,667 --> 00:21:50,667
First one in their seats gets a G-plus.
452
00:21:50,750 --> 00:21:53,580
Hey, a "G" might actually
raise some of my grades.
453
00:21:53,667 --> 00:21:55,077
[all yelling]
454
00:21:55,166 --> 00:21:56,326
[Garth yells]
Ow!
455
00:21:56,417 --> 00:21:57,457
[all grunting]
456
00:21:57,542 --> 00:21:58,462
[crashing]
457
00:21:58,542 --> 00:22:00,502
[Garth]
I am not cleaning that up.
458
00:22:01,166 --> 00:22:05,536
[announcer] The Fleemco Company presents:
Todd Daring on Toddliness.
459
00:22:05,625 --> 00:22:06,455
Toddliness.
460
00:22:06,542 --> 00:22:08,292
The dictionary defines it as
461
00:22:08,375 --> 00:22:11,075
"Cool, sweet, or being like Todd
in any significant way."
462
00:22:11,166 --> 00:22:13,126
-It also--
-[Riley] Wait a minute.
463
00:22:13,208 --> 00:22:14,878
There's no such word.
You're just making that up.
464
00:22:15,000 --> 00:22:17,750
For example,
the whiny wet blanket, Riley,
465
00:22:17,834 --> 00:22:19,384
doesn't have an ounce of Toddliness.
466
00:22:19,417 --> 00:22:20,247
Todd...
467
00:22:20,333 --> 00:22:22,383
[Todd]
But she's chock full of Rileyness.
468
00:22:22,458 --> 00:22:23,918
Todd.
469
00:22:24,333 --> 00:22:26,083
[yells]
470
00:22:28,333 --> 00:22:31,633
[announcer] This has been Todd Daring
on "Toddliness."