1 00:00:00,968 --> 00:00:02,668 You're watching the simpsons. 2 00:00:02,670 --> 00:00:05,370 You know your life sucks. Just get drunk like you always do. 3 00:00:05,373 --> 00:00:06,973 Catch all-new episodes sundays. 4 00:00:06,974 --> 00:00:08,814 And check out our other fox programs, 5 00:00:08,809 --> 00:00:11,609 Brooklyn nine-nine, bob's burgers and family guy. 6 00:00:11,612 --> 00:00:14,512 What is this, and how can i make the rest of my life about it? 7 00:00:14,515 --> 00:00:15,745 Only on fox. 8 00:00:18,686 --> 00:00:21,186 (beatboxing) 9 00:00:21,188 --> 00:00:22,618 (tires screeching) 10 00:00:24,625 --> 00:00:26,055 D'oh! 11 00:00:26,060 --> 00:00:26,890 (tires screeching) 12 00:00:26,894 --> 00:00:28,434 (grunts) 13 00:00:29,397 --> 00:00:30,527 All: Huh? 14 00:00:33,200 --> 00:00:34,230 D'oh! 15 00:00:34,235 --> 00:00:36,195 (homer groans) 16 00:00:36,203 --> 00:00:37,673 No parking spots? 17 00:00:37,671 --> 00:00:39,171 Lousy butt-kissers, 18 00:00:39,173 --> 00:00:40,913 Coming in before noon, 19 00:00:40,908 --> 00:00:44,078 Eating donuts that are rightfully mine. 20 00:00:44,912 --> 00:00:46,082 Oh, oh, oh! 21 00:00:46,080 --> 00:00:48,810 D'oh! Stupid smart car. 22 00:00:48,816 --> 00:00:50,076 (tires screech) 23 00:00:50,084 --> 00:00:53,154 D'oh! Spot-hogging s.U.V. 24 00:00:53,154 --> 00:00:54,724 (tires screech) 25 00:00:54,722 --> 00:00:57,392 D'oh! Inconvenient sinkhole. 26 00:00:57,391 --> 00:00:58,591 (tires screech) 27 00:00:58,592 --> 00:01:00,992 D'oh! Mandatory credit. 28 00:01:00,995 --> 00:01:02,255 (tires screech) 29 00:01:02,263 --> 00:01:04,003 D'oh! "developed by"? 30 00:01:03,998 --> 00:01:06,068 What does that even mean? 31 00:01:06,067 --> 00:01:08,067 (gasps) it's empty! 32 00:01:08,069 --> 00:01:09,539 Homer, no! 33 00:01:09,537 --> 00:01:10,937 That's burns' spot. 34 00:01:10,938 --> 00:01:12,398 How could you miss that sign? 35 00:01:12,406 --> 00:01:14,606 Oof. The last guy that parked there is now a... 36 00:01:14,608 --> 00:01:15,808 (quietly): Speed bump. 37 00:01:17,044 --> 00:01:18,514 (muffled): Slow down! 38 00:01:18,512 --> 00:01:20,252 Guys, be cool. 39 00:01:20,247 --> 00:01:22,107 Burns'll never know. 40 00:01:22,116 --> 00:01:25,416 He's on vacation this week with his weirdo hunting buddies. 41 00:01:28,589 --> 00:01:31,789 Fellow members of the order of the knights of saint caucasian, 42 00:01:31,792 --> 00:01:34,032 We've got a lot of things to kill today, so... 43 00:01:34,028 --> 00:01:36,428 Release the sedated quail. 44 00:01:41,035 --> 00:01:43,035 (gun clicks) 45 00:01:43,037 --> 00:01:45,297 How am i supposed to hunt it if it can move? 46 00:01:48,809 --> 00:01:51,939 Try it now, davy crockett! 47 00:01:52,947 --> 00:01:56,047 Damn you, surface tension... 48 00:01:56,050 --> 00:01:58,150 Wait a minute. 49 00:01:58,152 --> 00:02:01,452 If i can park in mr. Burns' space, 50 00:02:01,455 --> 00:02:03,055 I can live his whole life! 51 00:02:03,057 --> 00:02:05,617 Quickly now, before i think it through! 52 00:02:05,626 --> 00:02:08,226 (chuckling) 53 00:02:08,229 --> 00:02:10,159 ♪ mr. Big stuff ♪ 54 00:02:10,164 --> 00:02:12,904 ♪ who do you think you are ♪ 55 00:02:12,900 --> 00:02:14,800 ♪ mr. Big stuff ♪ 56 00:02:14,802 --> 00:02:20,112 ♪ you're never gonna get my love ♪ 57 00:02:20,107 --> 00:02:24,077 ♪ now because you wear all those fancy clothes ♪ 58 00:02:24,078 --> 00:02:27,308 ♪ oh, yeah ♪ ♪ and have a big fine car ♪ 59 00:02:27,314 --> 00:02:28,984 ♪ oh, yes you do now ♪ 60 00:02:28,983 --> 00:02:30,953 ♪ do you think i can afford... ♪ 61 00:02:30,951 --> 00:02:34,021 (german accent): Come on along, and sing our tiki song. 62 00:02:34,021 --> 00:02:36,591 (latino accent): And everyone will take their turns. 63 00:02:36,590 --> 00:02:38,990 (jamaican accent): To celebrate a man who's great. 64 00:02:38,993 --> 00:02:43,103 The wiki-wakka liki- lakka magic mr. Burns! 65 00:02:43,097 --> 00:02:45,257 ♪ the wiki-wakka liki-lakka ♪ 66 00:02:45,266 --> 00:02:46,496 ♪ mr. Burns ♪ 67 00:02:46,500 --> 00:02:48,330 ♪ the wiki-wakka liki-lakka ♪ 68 00:02:48,335 --> 00:02:49,535 ♪ mr. Burns ♪ 69 00:02:49,537 --> 00:02:51,297 ♪ the wiki-wakka liki-lakka ♪ 70 00:02:51,305 --> 00:02:52,635 ♪ mr. Burns ♪ 71 00:02:52,640 --> 00:02:54,040 ♪ the wiki-wakka liki-lakka ♪ 72 00:02:54,041 --> 00:02:55,371 ♪ mr. Burns... ♪ 73 00:02:55,376 --> 00:02:58,376 ♪ mr. Big stuff ♪ 74 00:02:58,379 --> 00:03:01,109 ♪ who do you think you are? ♪ 75 00:03:01,115 --> 00:03:03,375 ♪ mr. Big stuff ♪ 76 00:03:03,384 --> 00:03:05,284 ♪ you're never gonna get my love... ♪ 77 00:03:05,286 --> 00:03:07,546 (quietly): Simpson lines up his hitty stick 78 00:03:07,555 --> 00:03:11,115 And gets ready to clobber the dimpled round-o. 79 00:03:11,125 --> 00:03:13,485 He's calling the signals. 80 00:03:13,494 --> 00:03:15,494 (yelling): Omaha! 35! 81 00:03:15,496 --> 00:03:17,796 Hut! Hut! Simpson! 82 00:03:17,798 --> 00:03:19,228 (shrieks) 83 00:03:20,968 --> 00:03:22,268 Incoming! 84 00:03:24,305 --> 00:03:26,565 (yelling): There's a lightbulb out on level p-2! 85 00:03:26,574 --> 00:03:28,244 Oh, good lord. 86 00:03:28,242 --> 00:03:30,812 The trapdoor is under renovation. It's not safe! 87 00:03:30,811 --> 00:03:32,711 (air rushing past) 88 00:03:32,713 --> 00:03:34,983 (grunting) 89 00:03:37,184 --> 00:03:38,554 Mm-hmm. 90 00:03:38,552 --> 00:03:39,622 Homer: Mosaic! 91 00:03:41,989 --> 00:03:42,989 (screaming) 92 00:03:42,990 --> 00:03:43,990 Congratulations. 93 00:03:43,991 --> 00:03:45,261 You're halfway down. 94 00:03:45,259 --> 00:03:46,329 (electric crackle) 95 00:03:48,596 --> 00:03:49,656 What the...? 96 00:03:53,067 --> 00:03:54,367 (screaming) 97 00:03:54,368 --> 00:03:55,428 Ow! 98 00:03:55,436 --> 00:03:58,596 I'm drowning in cement! 99 00:03:58,606 --> 00:04:01,206 Uh, it's actually concrete. Woo hoo! 100 00:04:01,208 --> 00:04:03,208 Of which cement is an ingredient. 101 00:04:03,210 --> 00:04:06,010 (yells): No! 102 00:04:06,013 --> 00:04:08,583 (rhythmic yelling) 103 00:04:08,582 --> 00:04:10,182 (moans) 104 00:04:10,184 --> 00:04:11,954 (marge humming) hmm? 105 00:04:11,952 --> 00:04:14,722 Marge: Perfect. 106 00:04:14,722 --> 00:04:16,392 (chuckles) marge, 107 00:04:16,390 --> 00:04:18,220 You've thought of everything. 108 00:04:18,225 --> 00:04:20,525 Except for one nagging detail. 109 00:04:20,527 --> 00:04:23,457 Did i ever tell you about the time i was in a big cast? 110 00:04:23,464 --> 00:04:26,934 It was the shelbyville players production of pippin. 111 00:04:26,934 --> 00:04:28,904 Don't worry, homie. Grampa: I went from player 112 00:04:28,902 --> 00:04:31,402 To ticket taker in one performance! 113 00:04:31,405 --> 00:04:33,235 There's two ways of... 114 00:04:33,240 --> 00:04:35,310 (seagulls chirping and tide rolling) 115 00:04:44,985 --> 00:04:47,045 You are in my seat. 116 00:04:47,054 --> 00:04:48,724 Fight! Fight! Fight! 117 00:04:48,722 --> 00:04:51,092 Asthma, glasses, asthma! 118 00:04:51,091 --> 00:04:52,721 (grunts) 119 00:04:52,726 --> 00:04:55,626 (cheering, yelling) 120 00:04:55,629 --> 00:04:57,829 Oh. There's too much violence 121 00:04:57,831 --> 00:04:59,731 In rearview mirrors these days. 122 00:05:03,737 --> 00:05:05,137 Homer: Hey, boy, 123 00:05:05,139 --> 00:05:06,509 Want to sign your old man's cast? 124 00:05:06,507 --> 00:05:09,407 No problemo. 125 00:05:09,410 --> 00:05:10,410 (marker squeaking) 126 00:05:10,411 --> 00:05:11,811 What does it say? 127 00:05:11,812 --> 00:05:13,152 Don't worry about it. 128 00:05:13,147 --> 00:05:14,277 What did you write? 129 00:05:14,281 --> 00:05:15,911 Sorry. That's between me 130 00:05:15,916 --> 00:05:17,146 And everyone who sees it. 131 00:05:17,151 --> 00:05:18,951 Homer: I need to know! Hmm. 132 00:05:18,952 --> 00:05:21,822 Begins with f and ends in c-k. 133 00:05:21,822 --> 00:05:22,992 Why you little! 134 00:05:22,990 --> 00:05:25,120 (grunting, groaning) 135 00:05:25,125 --> 00:05:26,425 (chuckles) 136 00:05:28,829 --> 00:05:29,829 Homer: Tell me! 137 00:05:29,830 --> 00:05:31,160 Never! 138 00:05:31,165 --> 00:05:32,525 (grunting) 139 00:05:32,533 --> 00:05:33,933 (moans) 140 00:05:33,934 --> 00:05:36,004 (quickly): D'oh! D'oh! D'oh! 141 00:05:36,003 --> 00:05:37,143 Woo hoo! D'oh! D'oh! D'oh! 142 00:05:37,137 --> 00:05:38,137 D'oh! D'oh! D'oh! 143 00:05:38,138 --> 00:05:39,368 Woo hoo! D'oh! D'oh! 144 00:05:39,373 --> 00:05:41,373 (slowing down): D'oh! D'oh! D'oh! 145 00:05:41,375 --> 00:05:42,505 D'oh... 146 00:05:42,509 --> 00:05:43,839 Woo hoo! 147 00:05:46,213 --> 00:05:47,713 Marge: Thanks, partner. 148 00:05:47,715 --> 00:05:50,545 We've balled up all the 13 gauge alpaca. 149 00:05:50,551 --> 00:05:53,021 Now maybe there's something fun we can do? 150 00:05:53,020 --> 00:05:55,150 Sure is. A puzzle. 151 00:05:55,155 --> 00:05:56,515 "foggy day in berlin." 152 00:05:56,523 --> 00:05:58,723 5,000 pieces. 153 00:05:58,726 --> 00:06:00,056 Hmm... 154 00:06:01,795 --> 00:06:04,025 (german accent): Homer, complete the puzzle! 155 00:06:04,031 --> 00:06:05,061 I'm a married man! 156 00:06:05,065 --> 00:06:06,565 Fine. If you need me, 157 00:06:06,567 --> 00:06:08,527 I'll be in your schpankenbank. 158 00:06:08,535 --> 00:06:12,395 Female singer: ♪ we'll meet again ♪ 159 00:06:12,406 --> 00:06:15,536 Marge, i don't think we should do this puzzle. 160 00:06:15,542 --> 00:06:18,342 I know. You can't pick up the pieces. 161 00:06:18,345 --> 00:06:21,845 That's why i've devised a grid system. 162 00:06:21,849 --> 00:06:24,749 Huh? I'll hold up a piece, and you call out the number 163 00:06:24,752 --> 00:06:27,552 And letter of the corresponding grid square. 164 00:06:27,554 --> 00:06:28,994 Uh... I don't know. 165 00:06:28,989 --> 00:06:30,089 Q 15? 166 00:06:30,090 --> 00:06:32,820 Sweetie, it's a side piece. 167 00:06:32,826 --> 00:06:34,426 Q 15's in the middle. 168 00:06:34,428 --> 00:06:36,058 Right. Q 15 is in the middle. 169 00:06:36,063 --> 00:06:38,263 Nothing more fun than rules. 170 00:06:38,265 --> 00:06:41,095 I'll make some tea to help you think. 171 00:06:41,101 --> 00:06:43,841 Oh, i hate being immobile and numb. 172 00:06:43,837 --> 00:06:45,937 If only i was free to move. 173 00:06:48,409 --> 00:06:49,709 (moans) 174 00:06:49,710 --> 00:06:51,110 If only. 175 00:06:51,111 --> 00:06:53,111 (excited chatter) 176 00:06:53,113 --> 00:06:55,953 It's never pleasant to see this kind of activity, lisa. 177 00:06:55,949 --> 00:06:58,719 Particularly on a cell phone that is so much nicer 178 00:06:58,719 --> 00:07:00,189 Than the one i own. 179 00:07:03,257 --> 00:07:07,057 All the fighting seems to start with who sits where on the bus. 180 00:07:07,060 --> 00:07:09,960 Um, lisa. You seem to have a handle on the bus problem. 181 00:07:09,963 --> 00:07:13,033 Why don't you tackle it? But don't think i won't help. 182 00:07:13,033 --> 00:07:14,633 I'm providing you with a sash. 183 00:07:14,635 --> 00:07:16,065 Skinner! 184 00:07:16,069 --> 00:07:18,269 You are asking a six-year-old girl 185 00:07:18,272 --> 00:07:20,372 To fix this school's problems. 186 00:07:20,374 --> 00:07:21,774 I'm eight. 187 00:07:21,775 --> 00:07:23,005 Oh, carry on. 188 00:07:24,378 --> 00:07:26,078 What do you mean, there's a legal issue 189 00:07:26,079 --> 00:07:27,449 With my trapdoor? 190 00:07:27,448 --> 00:07:29,148 And, uh, as you explain, 191 00:07:29,149 --> 00:07:31,379 Please take two steps back. 192 00:07:31,385 --> 00:07:33,545 The old trapdoor was perfectly legal. 193 00:07:33,554 --> 00:07:36,054 It was grandfathered in under the reagan-era code. 194 00:07:36,056 --> 00:07:38,056 But once you start renovating it, 195 00:07:38,058 --> 00:07:40,928 It has to brought up to modern standards. 196 00:07:40,928 --> 00:07:43,758 Mm. And it has to be handicap accessible. 197 00:07:43,764 --> 00:07:45,834 A wheelchair would never fall through the current opening. 198 00:07:45,833 --> 00:07:47,303 (chuckling): Oh! But that's not a problem! 199 00:07:47,301 --> 00:07:49,101 I refuse to hire the handicapped. 200 00:07:49,102 --> 00:07:50,342 That's another issue. 201 00:07:50,337 --> 00:07:53,137 But for now, we have left ourselves open 202 00:07:53,140 --> 00:07:55,640 To a lawsuit by homer simpson. 203 00:07:55,642 --> 00:07:58,312 Fine. Smithers, go see this simpson character 204 00:07:58,312 --> 00:08:00,682 And trick him into signing a waiver of liability. 205 00:08:00,681 --> 00:08:02,981 I'll discuss things with the foreman. 206 00:08:04,685 --> 00:08:07,415 (yelling): Enrique, mas grande la puerta! 207 00:08:07,421 --> 00:08:08,821 (homer moans) 208 00:08:08,822 --> 00:08:11,692 Look, homie! We got three pieces together. 209 00:08:11,692 --> 00:08:13,122 That's a good day's work! 210 00:08:13,126 --> 00:08:15,156 Why don't we do one of maggie's puzzles? 211 00:08:15,162 --> 00:08:18,662 Cow goes in the cow-shaped hole, boom. Next case. 212 00:08:18,665 --> 00:08:21,525 Hmm, i thought the one good thing about you hurting yourself 213 00:08:21,535 --> 00:08:23,935 Was that we could spend more time together. 214 00:08:23,937 --> 00:08:24,937 You did? 215 00:08:24,938 --> 00:08:25,938 Didn't you? 216 00:08:25,939 --> 00:08:28,539 Oh yeah, sure, of course. 217 00:08:28,542 --> 00:08:31,542 Only a fool would admit otherwise. 218 00:08:31,545 --> 00:08:32,635 Mm.... 219 00:08:32,646 --> 00:08:33,706 (doorbell rings) 220 00:08:34,648 --> 00:08:35,948 (sighs) 221 00:08:35,949 --> 00:08:37,349 (sighs) 222 00:08:37,351 --> 00:08:40,991 Mr. Smithers! Come in, come in. 223 00:08:40,988 --> 00:08:42,988 (chuckling): Oh! Well, there's our tangle-foot! 224 00:08:42,990 --> 00:08:44,460 Already on the mend. 225 00:08:44,458 --> 00:08:45,818 Yeah, right. 226 00:08:45,826 --> 00:08:46,956 They say it'll be three months 227 00:08:46,960 --> 00:08:48,960 Before i can scratch my ass. 228 00:08:48,962 --> 00:08:51,002 Six before i can really go at it. 229 00:08:50,998 --> 00:08:53,058 Listen, i-i don't want to take up your time. 230 00:08:53,066 --> 00:08:55,126 I just need homer's signature on a couple of things. 231 00:08:55,135 --> 00:08:57,995 First, a get well card to himself. 232 00:08:58,005 --> 00:08:59,965 And what else does he need to sign? 233 00:08:59,973 --> 00:09:01,073 Oh, a... (coughing) 234 00:09:01,074 --> 00:09:02,414 ...Waiver of liability. 235 00:09:03,844 --> 00:09:05,214 I know, i know. 236 00:09:05,212 --> 00:09:07,052 There are solid reasons to sue. 237 00:09:07,047 --> 00:09:09,047 But do you really want to fill your life 238 00:09:09,049 --> 00:09:12,349 With parasitic attorneys with get-rich-quick schemes? 239 00:09:12,352 --> 00:09:14,222 Schemes? Rich? Quick? 240 00:09:14,221 --> 00:09:16,321 Parasitic? Woo hoo! 241 00:09:16,323 --> 00:09:19,063 How could i have forgotten to sue mr. Burns? 242 00:09:19,059 --> 00:09:20,889 That's how you get rich in america. 243 00:09:20,894 --> 00:09:23,094 Sue s. A! Sue s. A! 244 00:09:23,096 --> 00:09:25,156 Oh, lord. 245 00:09:25,165 --> 00:09:27,665 Finally, a chance to use this. 246 00:09:27,668 --> 00:09:31,898 It was designed ironically, but i would die for it. 247 00:09:37,244 --> 00:09:39,044 Are you home during the day because you were injured 248 00:09:39,046 --> 00:09:41,906 At work, school, museum, church, iraq, elevator plummet, 249 00:09:41,915 --> 00:09:44,515 Uneven sidewalk, hit by foul ball, hit by fair ball, 250 00:09:44,518 --> 00:09:46,618 Or iditarod viewing party? 251 00:09:46,620 --> 00:09:48,220 The first one! The first one you said! 252 00:09:48,221 --> 00:09:50,021 Call me, maxwell flinch, 253 00:09:50,023 --> 00:09:53,733 At 555-555-5555. 254 00:09:53,727 --> 00:09:55,427 Five, five, five... 255 00:09:55,429 --> 00:09:57,599 Wait, what was the number after the first three fives, 256 00:09:57,598 --> 00:09:59,298 But before the last six fives? 257 00:09:59,299 --> 00:10:01,069 Uh, simpson, before you do anything rash, 258 00:10:01,068 --> 00:10:03,898 Mr. Burns wanted you to enjoy this get-well cake. 259 00:10:03,904 --> 00:10:06,044 What's that writing on top? Oh! 260 00:10:06,039 --> 00:10:08,469 It's just, uh, strawberry boilerplate 261 00:10:08,475 --> 00:10:10,075 Absolving us of liability. 262 00:10:10,077 --> 00:10:12,037 Now just bite here, here, here, 263 00:10:12,045 --> 00:10:14,075 Nibble here, lick here... 264 00:10:14,081 --> 00:10:16,411 Uh, your wife needs to eat this cupcake... 265 00:10:16,416 --> 00:10:19,076 Sir, you cannot bribe me with cake. 266 00:10:19,086 --> 00:10:22,546 Because i just ate several pies. 267 00:10:22,556 --> 00:10:24,586 Hello, mr. Smithers. 268 00:10:24,591 --> 00:10:26,091 I see you haven't given up. 269 00:10:26,093 --> 00:10:27,733 (sighing) 270 00:10:27,728 --> 00:10:30,098 Just enjoy the cake. As long as you don't eat it 271 00:10:30,097 --> 00:10:32,097 In front of a notary public, you're fine. 272 00:10:32,099 --> 00:10:33,629 I'm a notary public. 273 00:10:33,634 --> 00:10:36,334 You gave your ink pad to maggie. 274 00:10:38,639 --> 00:10:41,439 (moans) i'll, um, i'll walk out with you. 275 00:10:41,441 --> 00:10:43,171 Don't go yet. You guys can help me 276 00:10:43,176 --> 00:10:45,506 Brainstorm a pattern for my new quilt. 277 00:10:45,512 --> 00:10:47,952 Marge, i mean this in the nicest way: 278 00:10:47,948 --> 00:10:51,078 Your idea of fun makes me want to blow my brains out. 279 00:10:51,084 --> 00:10:52,324 (murmurs disappointedly) 280 00:10:53,687 --> 00:10:56,617 Oh, razzmatazz is perfect, marge. 281 00:10:56,623 --> 00:10:58,193 It's-it's uh-- it's red, 282 00:10:58,191 --> 00:11:00,261 But not, uh, too red. 283 00:11:00,260 --> 00:11:01,430 You're right! 284 00:11:01,428 --> 00:11:02,958 Why don't you stick around 285 00:11:02,963 --> 00:11:05,033 And we'll discuss stitching patterns over tea? 286 00:11:05,032 --> 00:11:06,262 I'd like that. 287 00:11:06,266 --> 00:11:07,996 And i'll take the cake back to the home 288 00:11:08,001 --> 00:11:09,801 And share it with the seniors. 289 00:11:09,803 --> 00:11:10,803 Typical. 290 00:11:10,804 --> 00:11:12,104 I'll keep dad company. 291 00:11:12,105 --> 00:11:13,265 Thank you, bart. 292 00:11:13,273 --> 00:11:16,043 Grampa (moaning): Oh, i dropped it. 293 00:11:16,043 --> 00:11:18,783 Hey, wha-what did you put down my back? 294 00:11:18,779 --> 00:11:19,979 Could be a tarantula, 295 00:11:19,980 --> 00:11:20,980 Could just be some yarn. 296 00:11:20,981 --> 00:11:22,181 I'll be at milhouse's. 297 00:11:22,182 --> 00:11:24,052 (whining fearfully) 298 00:11:26,286 --> 00:11:28,346 (sighing) 299 00:11:30,157 --> 00:11:32,287 What the hell? 300 00:11:32,292 --> 00:11:35,132 Oh, it's such a pleasure to pour tea for someone 301 00:11:35,128 --> 00:11:37,128 And not have to help him chew it. 302 00:11:37,130 --> 00:11:38,700 We've made our choices. 303 00:11:38,699 --> 00:11:40,799 And the world doesn't understand them, 304 00:11:40,801 --> 00:11:42,201 But we do. 305 00:11:43,970 --> 00:11:45,800 Oh! Ew... 306 00:11:45,806 --> 00:11:47,766 Oh... Aw... 307 00:11:49,076 --> 00:11:50,876 You know marge, somehow i feel that 308 00:11:50,877 --> 00:11:52,337 More than anyone, you understand 309 00:11:52,345 --> 00:11:55,075 Those horrible words, "what do you see in him?" 310 00:11:55,082 --> 00:11:56,512 I never said this, 311 00:11:56,516 --> 00:11:59,516 But did you ever think we cling to these guys 312 00:11:59,519 --> 00:12:02,549 Because we're afraid to admit we were wrong? 313 00:12:02,556 --> 00:12:04,356 Do you really think that? 314 00:12:04,357 --> 00:12:07,227 Well, i've tried to use it constructively. 315 00:12:08,929 --> 00:12:10,729 I try to have "the serenity 316 00:12:10,731 --> 00:12:12,501 "to accept the things i cannot change 317 00:12:12,499 --> 00:12:14,699 And the courage to change the things i can." 318 00:12:14,701 --> 00:12:16,001 Homer: That's what they said to me 319 00:12:16,002 --> 00:12:18,202 At that alcoholics unanimous meeting! 320 00:12:18,205 --> 00:12:19,595 (groans) 321 00:12:19,606 --> 00:12:21,036 Lisa: Attention, bus riders! 322 00:12:21,041 --> 00:12:23,441 My new seating plan avoids conflict 323 00:12:23,443 --> 00:12:26,283 Through the use of complex social algorithms. 324 00:12:26,279 --> 00:12:28,849 It teams up compatible seatmates 325 00:12:28,849 --> 00:12:30,919 And places milhouse with no one. 326 00:12:30,917 --> 00:12:34,047 Yet somehow, i'm still a little scared. 327 00:12:34,054 --> 00:12:36,024 Otto, why are you sitting in back? 328 00:12:36,022 --> 00:12:38,022 Waiting for my assignment, chief. 329 00:12:38,024 --> 00:12:40,024 The driver's seat. You're the driver. 330 00:12:40,026 --> 00:12:41,356 Still me? 331 00:12:41,361 --> 00:12:44,101 (scoffs) new management, same mistakes. 332 00:12:46,233 --> 00:12:49,603 It's so quiet. I've never been able to hear my music before. 333 00:12:49,603 --> 00:12:51,873 (rock music plays over headphones) 334 00:12:51,872 --> 00:12:53,672 Ooh, it sucks. 335 00:12:55,108 --> 00:12:56,638 Lisa: This is just the beginning. 336 00:12:56,643 --> 00:12:58,043 Soon i'll have control over 337 00:12:58,044 --> 00:12:59,984 Every aspect of their lives. 338 00:12:59,980 --> 00:13:04,450 And then i'll make them achieve their un-dreamt dreams. 339 00:13:04,451 --> 00:13:06,821 Sherri next to terri. 340 00:13:06,820 --> 00:13:08,220 Jimbo next to dolph. 341 00:13:08,221 --> 00:13:09,921 No one next to milhouse. 342 00:13:09,923 --> 00:13:11,663 Ralph next to his invisible friend. 343 00:13:11,658 --> 00:13:13,058 Kearney next to nelson. 344 00:13:13,059 --> 00:13:14,989 Martin next to wendell. 345 00:13:14,995 --> 00:13:16,955 Cosine next to database. 346 00:13:18,965 --> 00:13:20,265 (gasps) 347 00:13:20,267 --> 00:13:22,597 My first pg-13 fantasy. 348 00:13:22,602 --> 00:13:24,642 Since we haven't been able to get a settlement, 349 00:13:24,638 --> 00:13:26,938 We'll have to start preparing you for your deposition. 350 00:13:26,940 --> 00:13:29,940 Caroline here will stand in for the opposing attorney. 351 00:13:29,943 --> 00:13:31,643 Good afternoon, mr. Burns. 352 00:13:31,645 --> 00:13:34,105 Release the hounds. 353 00:13:34,114 --> 00:13:37,254 Uh, sir, you should try to project a friendlier demeanor. 354 00:13:37,250 --> 00:13:39,250 Release the hounds. 355 00:13:39,252 --> 00:13:40,652 Please. 356 00:13:40,654 --> 00:13:42,654 Seriously, sir, it would really be wise 357 00:13:42,656 --> 00:13:44,116 Not to mention the hounds. 358 00:13:44,124 --> 00:13:46,164 Oh, that's like telling three-finger brown 359 00:13:46,159 --> 00:13:48,029 He can't play for the brooklyn tip-tops. 360 00:13:48,028 --> 00:13:49,158 (groans) 361 00:13:49,162 --> 00:13:50,602 Marge: Waylon, 362 00:13:50,597 --> 00:13:51,627 Now i can see why 363 00:13:51,631 --> 00:13:54,671 So many women in movies have gay friends. 364 00:13:54,668 --> 00:13:57,668 Like princess leia and c-3po. 365 00:13:57,671 --> 00:14:00,101 Listen, i made this for you. 366 00:14:00,106 --> 00:14:01,506 (gasps) oh, my god. 367 00:14:01,508 --> 00:14:04,108 No one ever gives me a gift. Thank you. 368 00:14:04,110 --> 00:14:07,050 No one ever tells me thank you. 369 00:14:07,047 --> 00:14:09,207 I think you see my true self. 370 00:14:09,216 --> 00:14:12,716 The one i never pay attention to at all. 371 00:14:12,719 --> 00:14:15,019 Oh, my god. I want to kiss him. 372 00:14:15,021 --> 00:14:17,121 Smithers: Oh, my god. She wants to kiss me. 373 00:14:17,123 --> 00:14:18,193 Marge: I'm a married woman. Smithers: She would 374 00:14:18,191 --> 00:14:20,021 Look good with a mustache. 375 00:14:20,026 --> 00:14:22,086 (phone vibrates) 376 00:14:28,969 --> 00:14:30,239 Uh, i've got to go. 377 00:14:32,205 --> 00:14:35,165 Thank god i've got a husband with benefits. 378 00:14:35,175 --> 00:14:37,575 Come here, you. 379 00:14:37,577 --> 00:14:39,077 Okay, but... (exclaims) 380 00:14:50,190 --> 00:14:52,990 Mmm... Smithers. 381 00:14:52,993 --> 00:14:55,163 Homer: Wait a sec. 382 00:14:55,161 --> 00:14:58,761 Marge is getting her emotional needs fulfilled by another man, 383 00:14:58,765 --> 00:15:01,665 And now she needs me for nothing but sex. 384 00:15:01,668 --> 00:15:03,798 I'm the luckiest husband in the world! 385 00:15:09,175 --> 00:15:12,175 You haven't gotten that stupid signature yet? 386 00:15:12,178 --> 00:15:13,338 No. 387 00:15:13,346 --> 00:15:14,876 And i'm not sure i want to. 388 00:15:14,881 --> 00:15:16,551 You defy me? 389 00:15:16,549 --> 00:15:18,779 Smithers, pour me a glass of water. 390 00:15:22,389 --> 00:15:23,859 Now squeeze my chest. 391 00:15:23,857 --> 00:15:25,457 (coughs) 392 00:15:25,458 --> 00:15:27,928 Now, either get that signature or you're in charge 393 00:15:27,928 --> 00:15:30,258 Of restarting our plant at chernobyl. 394 00:15:30,263 --> 00:15:31,603 That was us? 395 00:15:31,598 --> 00:15:33,058 That doesn't leave this room. 396 00:15:33,066 --> 00:15:36,936 Well brother, prepare to enjoy another day 397 00:15:36,937 --> 00:15:40,067 Of calm, peaceful behavior on the school bus. 398 00:15:40,073 --> 00:15:42,273 I got to warn you, a lot of kids 399 00:15:42,275 --> 00:15:44,275 Are pretty unhappy with the required seating. 400 00:15:44,277 --> 00:15:45,807 (chuckles) 401 00:15:45,812 --> 00:15:48,112 Well, they'll be happy when i also organize 402 00:15:48,114 --> 00:15:50,754 Cafeteria seating, who's picked for teams, 403 00:15:50,750 --> 00:15:53,750 And i've divided the playground into swingers and pushers. 404 00:15:53,753 --> 00:15:55,093 That's insane. 405 00:15:55,088 --> 00:15:57,558 You just bought yourself a year of pushing. 406 00:16:09,102 --> 00:16:11,842 Lisa: Order. Order. Maintain order. 407 00:16:11,838 --> 00:16:13,538 Tunnel. 408 00:16:15,141 --> 00:16:16,871 ♪ ♪ 409 00:16:30,156 --> 00:16:30,986 Whee! 410 00:16:30,991 --> 00:16:34,191 ♪ ♪ 411 00:16:37,030 --> 00:16:38,960 This message couldn't be clearer. 412 00:16:38,965 --> 00:16:40,595 The children need more sauce on their spaghetti. 413 00:16:40,600 --> 00:16:41,930 Also, their spelling is atrocious. 414 00:16:41,935 --> 00:16:43,025 (tires screech) 415 00:16:45,372 --> 00:16:48,042 Well, at least i have me photos. 416 00:16:48,041 --> 00:16:49,041 (screams) 417 00:16:49,042 --> 00:16:51,042 (laughter) 418 00:16:51,044 --> 00:16:53,114 I thought i had made things better. 419 00:16:53,113 --> 00:16:56,713 Lisa, the bus is supposed to be crazy. 420 00:16:56,716 --> 00:16:59,116 It's the brief respite between the twin nightmares 421 00:16:59,119 --> 00:17:00,349 Of home and school. 422 00:17:00,353 --> 00:17:02,393 The one thing a know-it-all doesn't know 423 00:17:02,389 --> 00:17:05,159 Is that everyone hates a know-it-all. 424 00:17:05,158 --> 00:17:06,958 Did we, uh, lose anyone? 425 00:17:06,960 --> 00:17:08,790 Just the police chief's son. 426 00:17:08,795 --> 00:17:10,855 (beeping) 427 00:17:12,966 --> 00:17:14,896 I bit a rat. 428 00:17:14,901 --> 00:17:16,301 (clears throat) 429 00:17:16,302 --> 00:17:19,302 Marge, this is the last time i'm coming by. 430 00:17:19,305 --> 00:17:21,005 Oh. Well, that's fine. 431 00:17:21,007 --> 00:17:23,837 I mean, i do have my knitting to get to. 432 00:17:23,843 --> 00:17:25,013 ♪ mm-hmm! ♪ 433 00:17:25,011 --> 00:17:26,811 I'm going to a living hell 434 00:17:26,813 --> 00:17:28,053 Followed by a certain death. 435 00:17:28,048 --> 00:17:29,978 Here's a picture to remember me by. 436 00:17:29,983 --> 00:17:32,823 Taken by my grandma from her deathbed. 437 00:17:32,819 --> 00:17:34,989 (sniffles) the last thing she saw. 438 00:17:36,156 --> 00:17:38,986 Mmm. Mmm. Mmm. 439 00:17:38,992 --> 00:17:40,392 Mmm. 440 00:17:40,393 --> 00:17:41,933 What's wrong, honey? 441 00:17:41,928 --> 00:17:45,428 Oh, i don't feel like i have anyone to talk to. 442 00:17:45,432 --> 00:17:47,602 I appreciate that, and i'd like to talk. 443 00:17:47,600 --> 00:17:51,100 I'm just so drained after all the time i spend with the kids. 444 00:17:51,104 --> 00:17:52,504 Bart: What time? 445 00:17:52,505 --> 00:17:54,665 I took you to that colonial village. 446 00:17:54,674 --> 00:17:56,674 That was a pub at the airport. 447 00:17:56,676 --> 00:17:59,376 I had an ale. You sat on a barrel. That makes it colonial. 448 00:17:59,379 --> 00:18:01,579 Homer, i'm sorry, you have to understand. 449 00:18:01,581 --> 00:18:05,451 Without waylon to talk to, i feel completely alone. 450 00:18:05,452 --> 00:18:07,192 I totally get it. 451 00:18:07,187 --> 00:18:08,947 One question: Who's waylon? 452 00:18:08,955 --> 00:18:10,185 Smithers. 453 00:18:10,190 --> 00:18:11,920 Totally get it. 454 00:18:11,925 --> 00:18:14,455 Oh, my wife really needs something and to get it 455 00:18:14,461 --> 00:18:16,761 I may have to forego my settlement. 456 00:18:16,763 --> 00:18:19,363 Homer, you fell down a trapdoor into a cement mixer. 457 00:18:19,365 --> 00:18:21,225 Don't you think i deserve something for that? 458 00:18:21,234 --> 00:18:23,634 I'm just trying to do what's right. 459 00:18:23,636 --> 00:18:25,966 Then why did you file a lawsuit? 460 00:18:27,107 --> 00:18:28,107 I really think you should 461 00:18:28,108 --> 00:18:29,568 Change the venue, sir. 462 00:18:29,576 --> 00:18:31,736 You can't win a case in this town. 463 00:18:31,744 --> 00:18:34,554 Oh, are they still mad about me eating the town panda? 464 00:18:34,547 --> 00:18:36,047 Get over it. 465 00:18:37,584 --> 00:18:39,124 Wait, wait, wait, wait. 466 00:18:39,119 --> 00:18:42,719 I'm willing to sign anything you want on one condition. 467 00:18:42,722 --> 00:18:44,422 Fine. What's your condition? 468 00:18:44,424 --> 00:18:47,234 You have to keep mr. Smithers here. 469 00:18:47,227 --> 00:18:49,627 I see. And are you fool enough 470 00:18:49,629 --> 00:18:51,729 To believe a man's handshake means anything? 471 00:18:51,731 --> 00:18:53,131 I am. 472 00:18:53,133 --> 00:18:54,333 Well, put 'er there. 473 00:18:54,334 --> 00:18:56,104 Homer, no! 474 00:18:56,102 --> 00:18:58,742 Why doesn't anyone ever think of the lawyer? 475 00:18:58,738 --> 00:19:01,468 Aw, if i do a slip 'n' fall on the courthouse steps, 476 00:19:01,474 --> 00:19:03,114 Would that help? 477 00:19:03,109 --> 00:19:04,739 (sniffs) it might. 478 00:19:07,947 --> 00:19:10,077 See you thursday. 479 00:19:10,083 --> 00:19:12,323 And i'll see you thursday night. 480 00:19:12,318 --> 00:19:14,018 Oh. (chuckles) 481 00:19:14,020 --> 00:19:17,360 And i'll see you early friday morning. 482 00:19:17,357 --> 00:19:19,117 Mm-hmm. 483 00:19:19,125 --> 00:19:20,355 Mm-hmm. 484 00:19:20,360 --> 00:19:22,860 Oh, these slippery stairs. 485 00:19:22,862 --> 00:19:24,332 (exclaiming) 486 00:19:24,330 --> 00:19:25,930 (gasps) homie! 487 00:19:25,932 --> 00:19:27,032 Marge, no! 488 00:19:30,770 --> 00:19:32,200 (honks) 489 00:19:33,306 --> 00:19:34,706 Marge, 490 00:19:34,707 --> 00:19:37,437 I know smithers was good at talking to you. 491 00:19:37,443 --> 00:19:39,143 And i want to talk to you too. 492 00:19:39,145 --> 00:19:40,705 Oh. 493 00:19:40,713 --> 00:19:43,283 Just don't expect me to be great at first. 494 00:19:46,152 --> 00:19:49,192 Oh, honey, no one's great their first time. 495 00:19:49,189 --> 00:19:50,989 It's like baking. 496 00:19:50,990 --> 00:19:53,620 Uh, okay, well, uh... 497 00:19:53,626 --> 00:19:54,956 I like you. 498 00:19:54,961 --> 00:19:57,161 And i adore you. 499 00:19:57,163 --> 00:19:59,963 You sacrificed yourself for my happiness. 500 00:19:59,966 --> 00:20:01,996 There is nothing that makes a woman 501 00:20:02,001 --> 00:20:04,201 Feel more cherished and secure. 502 00:20:04,204 --> 00:20:06,004 Thank you, my darling. 503 00:20:06,005 --> 00:20:09,135 (whispers): Marge, this is going great. 504 00:20:09,142 --> 00:20:12,012 Grampa: Now don't you worry, i made you both soup. 505 00:20:12,011 --> 00:20:14,911 Ooh-hoo, it's pipin' hot. 506 00:20:14,914 --> 00:20:16,384 Two hours in the microwave. 507 00:20:16,382 --> 00:20:17,982 (exclaims) 508 00:20:26,025 --> 00:20:30,155 Who knows what the "d.C." stands for in washington, d.C.? Anyone? 509 00:20:30,163 --> 00:20:31,033 Anyone? 510 00:20:31,030 --> 00:20:32,200 Mustn't be a know-it-all. 511 00:20:32,198 --> 00:20:34,168 Never again. Not worth it. 512 00:20:34,167 --> 00:20:36,097 D.C. Anyone? 513 00:20:36,102 --> 00:20:39,042 Daddy's kitchen? (grumbles) 514 00:20:39,038 --> 00:20:40,398 Not quite. Anyone else? 515 00:20:40,406 --> 00:20:42,006 No? Okay. 516 00:20:42,008 --> 00:20:45,878 Children, "d.C." stands for "district of the capitol." 517 00:20:45,878 --> 00:20:47,408 No it doesn't! 518 00:20:47,413 --> 00:20:49,283 The answer is "district of columbia." 519 00:20:49,282 --> 00:20:51,622 And miss hoover, i don't want to be a smarty pants, 520 00:20:51,618 --> 00:20:54,118 But the previous answer was texas. 521 00:20:54,120 --> 00:20:55,920 Before that, 1848. 522 00:20:55,922 --> 00:20:57,762 Before that, seward's folly. 523 00:20:57,757 --> 00:20:59,717 And your dentist appointment is not tomorrow, 524 00:20:59,726 --> 00:21:02,326 It's the day after. Thank you. 525 00:21:07,800 --> 00:21:09,870 Captioned by media access group at wgbh access.Wgbh.Org 526 00:21:48,074 --> 00:21:51,014 ♪ the wiki-wakka liki-lakka mr. Burns ♪ 527 00:21:51,010 --> 00:21:52,710 ♪ the wiki-wakka liki-lakka... ♪