1 00:00:00,290 --> 00:00:02,242 Previously on Scream Queens... 2 00:00:02,511 --> 00:00:05,146 The assault on your predecessor, Melanie Dorkus... 3 00:00:05,413 --> 00:00:07,281 I think you did it. 4 00:00:07,349 --> 00:00:09,183 These morons need someone to tear them a new one. 5 00:00:09,251 --> 00:00:11,685 I am going to write the missive to end all missives. 6 00:00:11,753 --> 00:00:13,854 - Pete... - I can't! 7 00:00:13,922 --> 00:00:16,156 I don't want your first time to be with a murderer. 8 00:00:19,360 --> 00:00:20,394 Wait. 9 00:00:20,461 --> 00:00:21,762 You're the Red Devil killer? 10 00:00:21,829 --> 00:00:23,130 No. Well, yes. 11 00:00:23,197 --> 00:00:25,465 W-Well, no, but sort of. Grace, you can't leave. 12 00:00:25,533 --> 00:00:26,934 Not until I'm done telling you everything. 13 00:00:27,001 --> 00:00:30,137 Okay? I love you. I would never, ever hurt you. 14 00:00:30,204 --> 00:00:31,405 I promise you're safe. That was part of the deal. 15 00:00:31,472 --> 00:00:32,406 You could never be touched. 16 00:00:32,473 --> 00:00:33,740 Deal? 17 00:00:38,212 --> 00:00:41,748 The night the security guard was killed outside of Kappa, 18 00:00:41,816 --> 00:00:44,251 I was there, doing my job... snooping. 19 00:00:44,319 --> 00:00:46,253 I risked my life. 20 00:00:46,321 --> 00:00:47,587 I followed the Red Devil 21 00:00:47,655 --> 00:00:49,256 right to the Dickie Dollar Scholars House. 22 00:00:52,260 --> 00:00:53,694 I followed him inside, 23 00:00:53,761 --> 00:00:56,296 saw him taking off his costume. 24 00:00:56,364 --> 00:00:57,497 It was Boone. 25 00:00:57,565 --> 00:00:59,166 That was weeks ago. 26 00:00:59,233 --> 00:01:00,734 Wh-Why didn't you turn him in? 27 00:01:00,802 --> 00:01:02,302 How many lives could you have saved? 28 00:01:02,370 --> 00:01:03,804 I was... I was totally going to, I swear. 29 00:01:03,871 --> 00:01:05,105 But then he started talking to me. 30 00:01:05,173 --> 00:01:06,573 He laid the whole thing out... 31 00:01:06,641 --> 00:01:08,475 Why he was doing what he was doing, 32 00:01:08,543 --> 00:01:11,812 how Kappa had to be stopped, how they killed his mother, 33 00:01:11,879 --> 00:01:15,749 how they were humanity at their worst, how Kappa had to pay. 34 00:01:15,817 --> 00:01:18,752 And then I realized his mission and our mission were the same. 35 00:01:18,820 --> 00:01:21,755 Our mission never involved killing anyone. 36 00:01:21,823 --> 00:01:23,790 Oh, really? 37 00:01:23,858 --> 00:01:27,627 How was that apple cider you gave Dean Munsch, Grace? 38 00:01:27,695 --> 00:01:31,164 Don't be mad at Boone or me for realizing before you did 39 00:01:31,232 --> 00:01:33,633 that the only way to really, really bring Chanel 40 00:01:33,701 --> 00:01:35,969 and her type down was bringing them all the way 41 00:01:36,037 --> 00:01:38,538 down to the ground, under the ground. 42 00:01:38,606 --> 00:01:41,208 Everybody thinks the Red Devil... 43 00:01:41,275 --> 00:01:43,310 "Ooh, he's the bad guy in all of this." 44 00:01:43,378 --> 00:01:45,645 But, no, he's not the monster. No, no, no, no, no. 45 00:01:45,713 --> 00:01:47,514 The Kappas. The Chanels. 46 00:01:47,582 --> 00:01:49,316 The dinosaur of a Greek system. 47 00:01:49,384 --> 00:01:51,218 They are the beast. 48 00:01:51,285 --> 00:01:52,819 More than half of students 49 00:01:52,887 --> 00:01:54,821 that join sororities or fraternities get hazed, 50 00:01:54,889 --> 00:01:57,157 and it's not just wearing raw chickens on their heads 51 00:01:57,225 --> 00:01:59,760 and calling each other gay slurs while jumping around naked. 52 00:01:59,827 --> 00:02:02,362 And let's just put aside the psychological damage 53 00:02:02,430 --> 00:02:04,698 done to each and every one of them that were just 54 00:02:04,766 --> 00:02:06,700 looking for a place to belong, 55 00:02:06,768 --> 00:02:08,301 and instead spent months being verbally abused 56 00:02:08,369 --> 00:02:09,669 about being a pound overweight 57 00:02:09,737 --> 00:02:11,805 or not having the right pair of Air Jordans. 58 00:02:13,941 --> 00:02:16,877 104 deaths, Grace. 59 00:02:16,944 --> 00:02:21,882 104 deaths and counting since 1970. 60 00:02:21,949 --> 00:02:24,151 I mean, how many has the Red Devil killed, huh? 61 00:02:24,218 --> 00:02:25,352 Eight? Ten, maybe? 62 00:02:25,420 --> 00:02:26,987 I mean, come on. 63 00:02:27,055 --> 00:02:29,022 It's not even a competition. 64 00:02:29,090 --> 00:02:31,725 That beast is going to keep on feeding on young lives 65 00:02:31,793 --> 00:02:34,694 until someone cuts its highlight-covered head off. 66 00:02:34,762 --> 00:02:36,396 Oh, and besides, 67 00:02:36,464 --> 00:02:38,198 Boone said there were other killers, too. 68 00:02:38,266 --> 00:02:40,434 It was a conspiracy. If I turned him in, 69 00:02:40,501 --> 00:02:42,536 we would have never found out who they were. 70 00:02:42,603 --> 00:02:44,438 Stop rationalizing it. 71 00:02:44,505 --> 00:02:46,773 You killed people. You are not allowed to just say, 72 00:02:46,841 --> 00:02:50,277 "Yeah, but I had a super good reason for it." 73 00:02:50,344 --> 00:02:51,545 Who did you kill? 74 00:03:03,724 --> 00:03:05,559 This feels so good. 75 00:03:09,263 --> 00:03:10,730 Roger. 76 00:03:24,512 --> 00:03:26,046 Or D-Dodger. 77 00:03:26,114 --> 00:03:28,548 I-I don't know. I get them all mixed up. 78 00:03:28,616 --> 00:03:30,550 Hey, hey, hey! Grace, Grace, no. 79 00:03:30,618 --> 00:03:32,586 Grace. Grace. 80 00:03:35,123 --> 00:03:36,623 What, are you gonna kill me now? 81 00:03:36,691 --> 00:03:39,126 No. I would never hurt you. 82 00:03:39,193 --> 00:03:40,594 I just can't let you leave. 83 00:03:40,661 --> 00:03:42,762 Not until I'm done telling you everything! 84 00:03:49,403 --> 00:03:51,304 I really liked you, Pete. 85 00:03:51,372 --> 00:03:53,273 - Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. - Stop, stop, stop, stop... 86 00:03:53,341 --> 00:03:55,675 No, no, I'm not letting you go from my life that easily, Grace. 87 00:03:55,743 --> 00:03:56,676 Stop. 88 00:03:56,744 --> 00:03:58,445 Grace. I know that 89 00:03:58,513 --> 00:04:00,013 - if you could just... - Stop. 90 00:04:00,081 --> 00:04:01,857 ...hear what I have to say, to understand... 91 00:04:01,882 --> 00:04:02,473 Please. 92 00:04:02,517 --> 00:04:05,051 ...why I did what I did, you could still love me. 93 00:04:06,320 --> 00:04:09,256 That guy, Roger, 94 00:04:09,323 --> 00:04:11,591 was terrible to his brother, did you know that? 95 00:04:11,659 --> 00:04:13,593 His whole life. 96 00:04:13,661 --> 00:04:16,263 He-he ripped off Dodger's left nipple in utero. 97 00:04:16,330 --> 00:04:17,998 Don't try to justify it all 98 00:04:18,065 --> 00:04:19,499 after the fact. You were just mad 99 00:04:19,567 --> 00:04:21,601 that the Dickie Dollars Scholars rejected you. 100 00:04:21,669 --> 00:04:23,470 Of course I was. They're just as bad as the Kappa girls. 101 00:04:23,538 --> 00:04:25,805 But, Grace, you have to understand, I had no choice. 102 00:04:25,873 --> 00:04:26,574 No, no, no, no, no! 103 00:04:26,599 --> 00:04:28,132 They showed up one day thinking that I was 104 00:04:28,176 --> 00:04:29,309 a double agent, that I couldn't be trusted. 105 00:04:29,377 --> 00:04:30,944 They were going to kill me. 106 00:04:31,012 --> 00:04:32,779 Hey, hey, you can trust me, you can trust me! 107 00:04:32,847 --> 00:04:35,949 Ask me and I'll do anything. I'll prove it. 108 00:04:36,017 --> 00:04:37,617 It was Roger or me. 109 00:04:37,685 --> 00:04:40,987 Don't you see that they did that on purpose?! 110 00:04:41,055 --> 00:04:42,622 They knew that if you actually killed someone, 111 00:04:42,690 --> 00:04:44,224 you would be their slave! 112 00:04:44,292 --> 00:04:46,193 God! We were the good guys. 113 00:04:46,260 --> 00:04:47,827 We were in this together! 114 00:04:47,895 --> 00:04:49,663 I did this for you. 115 00:04:49,730 --> 00:04:51,398 Don't you understand? 116 00:04:51,465 --> 00:04:54,067 I did this to be one of the good guys, Grace. 117 00:04:54,135 --> 00:04:55,835 I mean, come on. 118 00:04:55,903 --> 00:04:57,404 You practically told me to. 119 00:04:57,471 --> 00:05:00,373 Don't you remember driving back from seeing Mandy? 120 00:05:00,441 --> 00:05:02,609 The more I hear about this whole thing, 121 00:05:02,677 --> 00:05:05,111 the more I'm starting to think the idea that there are good 122 00:05:05,179 --> 00:05:06,947 and bad people in the world is just something 123 00:05:07,014 --> 00:05:09,282 adults use to get children to stay in line. 124 00:05:09,350 --> 00:05:11,618 Mm. Well, Nietzsche said, 125 00:05:11,686 --> 00:05:13,186 "You have your way, 126 00:05:13,254 --> 00:05:14,187 "I have my way. 127 00:05:14,255 --> 00:05:15,956 "As for the right way, 128 00:05:16,023 --> 00:05:18,558 "the correct way and the only way, 129 00:05:18,626 --> 00:05:20,160 it does not exist." 130 00:05:20,228 --> 00:05:21,494 Exactly. 131 00:05:21,562 --> 00:05:24,064 I mean, how can you possibly stop an evil 132 00:05:24,131 --> 00:05:27,367 as old as Kappa House while you're playing by the rules? 133 00:05:27,435 --> 00:05:30,203 I mean, aren't we being naive? 134 00:05:30,271 --> 00:05:32,739 What are you suggesting? 135 00:05:32,807 --> 00:05:34,407 I don't know. 136 00:05:34,475 --> 00:05:36,843 It's just... 137 00:05:39,146 --> 00:05:41,081 ...maybe the Red Devil has the right idea. 138 00:05:43,117 --> 00:05:45,218 You took me literally? 139 00:05:46,754 --> 00:05:49,055 If you gaze long enough into an abyss, 140 00:05:49,123 --> 00:05:52,592 that abyss will gaze back into you. 141 00:05:54,795 --> 00:05:56,396 That is Nietzsche, too, Grace. 142 00:05:56,464 --> 00:05:59,599 You're quoting Nietzsche? Seriously? 143 00:05:59,667 --> 00:06:01,001 You are already a murderer, Pete, 144 00:06:01,068 --> 00:06:03,003 you don't have to be a douche as well! 145 00:06:03,070 --> 00:06:05,739 This is not a philosophy course. 146 00:06:05,806 --> 00:06:08,241 This is murder... serial murder! 147 00:06:11,579 --> 00:06:14,047 I agree. 148 00:06:14,115 --> 00:06:16,850 Which is why I decided to make it all stop. 149 00:06:18,919 --> 00:06:20,220 So I killed Boone. 150 00:06:20,288 --> 00:06:23,223 - sync and corrections by Caio - - www.addic7ed.com - 151 00:06:23,291 --> 00:06:27,227 He asked me to come help kill Gigi, 152 00:06:27,295 --> 00:06:30,597 but I knew this was my chance to finally end this. 153 00:06:30,665 --> 00:06:32,132 Gigi was the planner, 154 00:06:32,199 --> 00:06:34,968 the George Clooney in their psycho Ocean's Eleven, 155 00:06:35,036 --> 00:06:36,269 but Boone was the muscle. 156 00:06:36,337 --> 00:06:37,604 Without him... 157 00:06:37,672 --> 00:06:39,439 No! 158 00:06:41,642 --> 00:06:43,743 ...they could never keep this whole thing going. 159 00:06:45,846 --> 00:06:47,981 But after I did that, 160 00:06:48,049 --> 00:06:51,484 I-I-I-I-I-I... I decided no more. 161 00:06:51,552 --> 00:06:54,754 It was time to stop. 162 00:06:54,822 --> 00:06:56,623 Except for shooting Chanel with the crossbow 163 00:06:56,691 --> 00:06:59,826 and then that other police guy, but that was self-defense. 164 00:06:59,894 --> 00:07:01,728 That was you? 165 00:07:15,643 --> 00:07:18,411 Grace. 166 00:07:18,479 --> 00:07:21,414 I had to finish that part of it. 167 00:07:21,482 --> 00:07:24,084 The only way to justify this whole thing 168 00:07:24,151 --> 00:07:26,820 was if her reign of terror was ended. 169 00:07:28,689 --> 00:07:31,591 You and I never talked about what she did to me last year. 170 00:07:33,027 --> 00:07:35,295 She led me on for months. 171 00:07:35,363 --> 00:07:37,464 She said she was looking to experiment sexually 172 00:07:37,531 --> 00:07:41,000 by being with a guy who wasn't a three-pump chump like Chad. 173 00:07:41,068 --> 00:07:43,470 She wanted to play out her deepest, 174 00:07:43,537 --> 00:07:46,473 darkest fantasies with me. 175 00:07:46,540 --> 00:07:49,809 I was so young and desperate to be special and loved. 176 00:07:49,877 --> 00:07:51,811 I never had a real girlfriend before. 177 00:07:51,879 --> 00:07:53,813 Are you sure this is what you want? 178 00:07:53,881 --> 00:07:56,549 I was vulnerable enough to share my darkest fetish with you, 179 00:07:56,617 --> 00:07:58,818 and now you're making me feel self-conscious. 180 00:07:58,886 --> 00:08:01,588 Just come in and take me now. 181 00:08:01,655 --> 00:08:04,958 And don't forget the dialogue. 182 00:08:14,535 --> 00:08:16,970 You are ridiculously and laughably gullible. 183 00:08:18,239 --> 00:08:19,973 I can't believe 184 00:08:20,040 --> 00:08:22,008 that you actually believed that Chanel would be turned on 185 00:08:22,076 --> 00:08:24,477 by Daryl Hannah in Clan of the Cave Bear. 186 00:08:33,888 --> 00:08:35,355 What self-respecting man wouldn't do 187 00:08:35,423 --> 00:08:38,925 anything to get revenge for being degraded like that? 188 00:08:38,993 --> 00:08:41,261 Unfortunately, I don't have great aim with a crossbow 189 00:08:41,328 --> 00:08:43,363 and I can't see anything in that mask. 190 00:08:44,932 --> 00:08:47,534 I don't want to be here anymore. 191 00:08:47,601 --> 00:08:49,269 I feel sick. 192 00:08:49,336 --> 00:08:50,770 This isn't what I wanted. 193 00:08:50,838 --> 00:08:54,407 Yes, it is. Yes, it is. 194 00:08:54,475 --> 00:08:58,111 Okay? Don't judge me for what we both know had to happen. 195 00:08:58,179 --> 00:09:00,780 Don't you see I did this all for you? 196 00:09:00,848 --> 00:09:02,982 For us? 197 00:09:03,050 --> 00:09:04,517 To give you what you wanted, 198 00:09:04,585 --> 00:09:06,886 to clean up the whole mess that Chanel made of Kappa. 199 00:09:06,954 --> 00:09:10,890 You know what? Let's just run away together. 200 00:09:10,958 --> 00:09:12,692 You and me. Forget everything. 201 00:09:12,760 --> 00:09:15,562 Let the other killer finish what we started. 202 00:09:15,629 --> 00:09:17,864 Don't you see how much I love you? 203 00:09:17,932 --> 00:09:19,899 Don't you see what I'm willing to do for you? 204 00:09:19,967 --> 00:09:23,036 I hate you, Pete. 205 00:09:23,103 --> 00:09:27,273 You are everything I have been fighting against. 206 00:09:27,341 --> 00:09:29,876 I never want to see you again. 207 00:09:29,944 --> 00:09:32,245 If you want me to stay, 208 00:09:32,313 --> 00:09:34,247 you're gonna have to kill me. 209 00:09:39,453 --> 00:09:43,089 But if you leave, I won't be able to tell you who the other killer is. 210 00:09:45,659 --> 00:09:48,094 Spoiler alert: 211 00:09:48,162 --> 00:09:50,463 it's one of your sisters. 212 00:10:03,878 --> 00:10:05,311 Oh, you were right, Grace. 213 00:10:05,379 --> 00:10:07,280 You were right all along. 214 00:10:07,348 --> 00:10:10,683 It was the other baby in the bathtub. 215 00:10:10,751 --> 00:10:12,852 Boone's twin sister. 216 00:10:15,689 --> 00:10:17,357 Well, tell me. Who is it? 217 00:10:17,424 --> 00:10:18,558 Sit down. 218 00:10:19,894 --> 00:10:22,161 Come on. Just sit down. 219 00:10:26,967 --> 00:10:29,502 I mean, I really should have known. 220 00:10:29,570 --> 00:10:31,004 It wasn't that hard to find out. 221 00:10:31,071 --> 00:10:34,574 I just had to collect DNA samples from all the Kappas. 222 00:10:58,799 --> 00:11:01,334 No! I don't want to speak to your supervisor! 223 00:11:01,402 --> 00:11:04,504 I want to speak to the president of Tinder! 224 00:11:04,572 --> 00:11:06,573 Your app is broken! 225 00:11:06,640 --> 00:11:09,409 I've gotten zero swipes on my profile! 226 00:11:16,650 --> 00:11:18,017 Who is the killer? 227 00:11:18,085 --> 00:11:20,086 Who is the other baby in the bathtub? 228 00:11:20,154 --> 00:11:23,089 You're not gonna believe it. 229 00:11:23,157 --> 00:11:24,958 The other baby in the bathtub... 230 00:11:27,027 --> 00:11:28,928 Run. 231 00:12:11,178 --> 00:12:12,779 I know what you're thinking. 232 00:12:12,847 --> 00:12:14,614 Why is Chanel, the goddess of fashion 233 00:12:14,682 --> 00:12:17,617 and telling it like it is, being tormented by fatties 234 00:12:17,685 --> 00:12:19,619 with bad haircuts and horrible shoes? 235 00:12:19,687 --> 00:12:21,621 What was the outrage that was so enormous 236 00:12:21,689 --> 00:12:24,023 it brought students back to campus 237 00:12:24,091 --> 00:12:27,660 despite the fact that a serial killer is still on the loose? 238 00:12:27,728 --> 00:12:29,496 If you believe it, it's all because 239 00:12:29,563 --> 00:12:32,665 I chose to pen the missive to end all missives. 240 00:12:32,733 --> 00:12:35,702 Attention all useless Kappa sluts. 241 00:12:35,770 --> 00:12:38,338 Congratulations. If you're reading this... 242 00:12:38,406 --> 00:12:40,173 "...it means you've overcome the limitations 243 00:12:40,241 --> 00:12:44,077 "of your tiny manatee brains and opened an e-mail. 244 00:12:44,145 --> 00:12:45,879 Now, if you're asking yourself..." 245 00:12:45,946 --> 00:12:48,214 "'Derr, wait, I'm confused. Is Chanel talking to me? 246 00:12:48,282 --> 00:12:49,849 "Am I a useless Kappa slut?' 247 00:12:49,917 --> 00:12:51,918 simply ask yourself the following question aloud..." 248 00:12:51,986 --> 00:12:54,387 "Is my name Chanel 249 00:12:54,455 --> 00:12:57,056 Chanel 250 00:12:57,124 --> 00:12:58,858 "Because if the answer to that is yes, 251 00:12:58,926 --> 00:13:01,895 then felicitations, this missive is for you." 252 00:13:01,962 --> 00:13:04,063 So, do you all remember when we agreed 253 00:13:04,131 --> 00:13:06,166 to meet at the campus pool and kill the dean, 254 00:13:06,233 --> 00:13:07,834 and I got you all awesome new phones, 255 00:13:07,902 --> 00:13:10,003 so that when it came time to meet, 256 00:13:10,070 --> 00:13:12,172 the phone would light up a certain color, and when it did, 257 00:13:12,239 --> 00:13:14,007 you didn't even have to answer it, 258 00:13:14,074 --> 00:13:16,409 you just had to come meet at the aforementioned pool? 259 00:13:16,477 --> 00:13:20,413 And then do you remember not coming to the pool, 260 00:13:20,481 --> 00:13:22,415 despite me making it super easy for you 261 00:13:22,483 --> 00:13:24,184 by concocting a plan so simple 262 00:13:24,251 --> 00:13:26,186 that an orangutan could have figured it out? 263 00:13:26,253 --> 00:13:28,354 Like, literally, a circus ape of moderate intelligence 264 00:13:28,422 --> 00:13:30,356 could have looked down at the phone 265 00:13:30,424 --> 00:13:31,891 sticking out of the single pocket 266 00:13:31,959 --> 00:13:33,893 in the front of his comical lederhosen 267 00:13:33,961 --> 00:13:36,396 and seen it light up and used his short little legs 268 00:13:36,464 --> 00:13:38,798 to waddle over to his tiny, motorized Shriner's car 269 00:13:38,866 --> 00:13:40,633 and driven to the pool like I asked. 270 00:13:40,701 --> 00:13:44,571 Do you remember any aspect of this super simple plan? 271 00:13:44,638 --> 00:13:46,573 That's not a rhetorical question. 272 00:13:46,640 --> 00:13:50,076 I'm literally asking if your tiny slut brains have the power 273 00:13:50,144 --> 00:13:53,913 to process any of my super simple orangutan-level instructions. 274 00:13:53,981 --> 00:13:57,450 Because what I remember is that none of you showed up, 275 00:13:57,518 --> 00:14:00,520 which meant I had to sit at that stupid pool by myself, 276 00:14:00,588 --> 00:14:02,589 like a grade-A ass-hat, 277 00:14:02,656 --> 00:14:04,257 with a bag full of enormous chains 278 00:14:04,325 --> 00:14:05,925 to drown Dean Munsch with and then have 279 00:14:05,993 --> 00:14:08,228 a super awkward convo with her where I was like, 280 00:14:08,295 --> 00:14:11,064 "Oh, derr, I just like bringing enormous chains to pools," 281 00:14:11,131 --> 00:14:12,966 and I looked like a total div. 282 00:14:13,033 --> 00:14:15,235 I don't entirely know what you whores could have been doing 283 00:14:15,302 --> 00:14:17,637 that was more important than helping your chapter president 284 00:14:17,705 --> 00:14:20,406 drown a serial killer, but unless that thing 285 00:14:20,474 --> 00:14:23,076 you were doing was getting enemas of pure liquid gold 286 00:14:23,143 --> 00:14:25,078 at a new local establishment called 287 00:14:25,145 --> 00:14:26,779 Liquid Gold Colonics for Young Sluts, 288 00:14:26,847 --> 00:14:29,249 like if you were doing literally anything else, 289 00:14:29,316 --> 00:14:30,984 you all should seriously consider 290 00:14:31,051 --> 00:14:33,419 doing the human race a favor and getting sterilized. 291 00:14:33,487 --> 00:14:35,088 I'm not being facetious. 292 00:14:35,155 --> 00:14:37,257 I literally think you should consider undergoing 293 00:14:37,324 --> 00:14:39,292 a surgical procedure to remove your ovaries, 294 00:14:39,360 --> 00:14:42,128 thereby sparing human race exposure to your DNA. 295 00:14:42,196 --> 00:14:44,797 You four trollops are the worst specimens of human beings 296 00:14:44,865 --> 00:14:47,534 ever born, and you all should really watch your backs, 297 00:14:47,601 --> 00:14:50,036 because if this serial killer targeting Kappa House 298 00:14:50,104 --> 00:14:52,705 doesn't chop off your heads, I'm going to do it! 299 00:14:52,773 --> 00:14:55,642 So I can sell your tiny whore brainpans to science. 300 00:14:55,709 --> 00:14:58,378 Sincerely, Chanel Oberlin. 301 00:15:00,381 --> 00:15:02,081 So, the next day, I went to get 302 00:15:02,149 --> 00:15:04,250 an extra-hot pumpkin spice latte... 303 00:15:04,318 --> 00:15:06,085 ...and more news coming from Wallace University, 304 00:15:06,153 --> 00:15:08,788 where an alleged serial killer continues to stalk the campus. 305 00:15:08,856 --> 00:15:10,790 And that's when it happened. 306 00:15:10,858 --> 00:15:12,325 ...after an insane sorority rant 307 00:15:12,393 --> 00:15:15,628 from Kappa Kappa Tau president, Chanel Oberlin, 308 00:15:15,696 --> 00:15:16,863 students have returned... 309 00:15:16,931 --> 00:15:18,464 Is President Obama a total div? 310 00:15:18,532 --> 00:15:20,633 Chanel Oberlin's malicious... 311 00:15:20,701 --> 00:15:22,335 The new face of hate, Chanel Oberlin... 312 00:15:22,403 --> 00:15:23,469 ...weighs in on liquid gold colonics... 313 00:15:23,537 --> 00:15:24,971 No, no, no, no, no, no. 314 00:15:25,039 --> 00:15:27,373 Chanel Oberlin is being labeled Worst Person Alive. 315 00:15:27,441 --> 00:15:29,976 How did this happen? 316 00:15:39,053 --> 00:15:41,387 I mean, I'm all for public shaming. 317 00:15:41,455 --> 00:15:42,889 I practically invented it. 318 00:15:42,957 --> 00:15:44,390 It's the sign of a healthy culture. 319 00:15:44,458 --> 00:15:46,526 But not when I'm the one getting shamed. 320 00:15:48,162 --> 00:15:51,698 I wanted to be famous, but not like this. 321 00:15:51,765 --> 00:15:53,366 Chanel! Chanel! What does it feel like 322 00:15:53,434 --> 00:15:54,934 to be the most hated woman in America? 323 00:15:55,002 --> 00:15:56,436 What about an apology, Chanel? 324 00:15:56,503 --> 00:15:58,438 Ms. Oberlin, any comment at this time? 325 00:16:02,209 --> 00:16:03,810 Yes. 326 00:16:03,877 --> 00:16:05,545 I would like to comment. 327 00:16:07,047 --> 00:16:10,316 To all the so-called mainstream media, 328 00:16:10,384 --> 00:16:12,885 including weird Web sites that nobody has heard of 329 00:16:12,953 --> 00:16:15,655 who have used my name as clickbait, 330 00:16:15,723 --> 00:16:19,559 and to all the relentless unwashed hordes on Twitter, 331 00:16:19,627 --> 00:16:21,694 who have taken every opportunity 332 00:16:21,762 --> 00:16:23,730 to mock and attack me mercilessly 333 00:16:23,797 --> 00:16:27,600 from the safety of their stained futons, 334 00:16:27,668 --> 00:16:31,070 I offer the following heartfelt sentiment. 335 00:16:32,439 --> 00:16:34,707 You can all suck it! 336 00:16:40,114 --> 00:16:42,448 Despite my outward bravado, I was dead inside. 337 00:16:43,484 --> 00:16:47,420 In my heart, I knew my glamorous reign of terror was over. 338 00:16:47,488 --> 00:16:50,623 It was going to be difficult, but I knew what I had to do. 339 00:16:52,726 --> 00:16:54,964 I have to kill myself. 340 00:17:05,760 --> 00:17:07,194 Leave me alone. 341 00:17:07,262 --> 00:17:09,763 Chanel... 342 00:17:09,831 --> 00:17:11,398 are you okay? 343 00:17:11,466 --> 00:17:13,934 I said get out, please! 344 00:17:14,002 --> 00:17:17,037 - I'm trying to kill myself. - What?! How? 345 00:17:17,105 --> 00:17:20,074 - Duh, with an asp. - Like a snake? 346 00:17:20,141 --> 00:17:24,778 Yes. I ordered an asp online so I could kill myself like Cleopatra, 347 00:17:24,846 --> 00:17:27,247 and now I'm just waiting for it to sense my body heat 348 00:17:27,315 --> 00:17:29,149 and come out and bite me so this will all be over. 349 00:17:29,217 --> 00:17:30,751 Chanel, no, that's insane. 350 00:17:30,819 --> 00:17:34,421 Is it? Is it insane? 351 00:17:34,489 --> 00:17:36,256 My life is over. 352 00:17:36,324 --> 00:17:38,926 There was nothing left to do but go on AliExpress 353 00:17:38,993 --> 00:17:40,928 and order a venomous snake for same-day delivery 354 00:17:40,995 --> 00:17:42,663 and just... end it all. 355 00:17:42,731 --> 00:17:45,466 Hold on. 356 00:17:47,335 --> 00:17:49,503 Chanel, 357 00:17:49,571 --> 00:17:50,671 this isn't an asp. 358 00:17:50,739 --> 00:17:52,005 It's a garter snake. 359 00:17:52,073 --> 00:17:54,141 No, it isn't. Look at its markings. 360 00:17:54,209 --> 00:17:56,376 What markings? This is a sweater. 361 00:18:01,382 --> 00:18:03,584 I can't even kill myself right. 362 00:18:03,651 --> 00:18:07,087 Chanel, look at me. 363 00:18:08,990 --> 00:18:11,325 I understand that what you're going through is really intense. 364 00:18:11,392 --> 00:18:15,262 And I know you and I haven't really always seen eye to eye, 365 00:18:15,330 --> 00:18:17,598 and you say crazy-mean stuff to me all the time, 366 00:18:17,665 --> 00:18:19,933 and I have a real problem with your casual racism, 367 00:18:20,001 --> 00:18:22,136 which is something we need to work on, 368 00:18:22,203 --> 00:18:24,671 but, girl, I promise I got your back. 369 00:18:24,739 --> 00:18:27,508 - Really? - Yes. 370 00:18:27,575 --> 00:18:30,711 And I know you can't see it now, but things are gonna get better. 371 00:18:30,779 --> 00:18:33,013 You're young, smart and beautiful, 372 00:18:33,081 --> 00:18:35,182 and you got a lot of living ahead of you. 373 00:18:35,250 --> 00:18:37,651 So don't talk about killing yourself, okay? 374 00:18:37,719 --> 00:18:39,820 That's not even something you should joke about. 375 00:18:39,888 --> 00:18:42,022 Come here. 376 00:18:42,090 --> 00:18:45,492 Maybe this is one of those teachable moments, you know? 377 00:18:45,560 --> 00:18:47,561 Like my grandmama says. 378 00:18:47,629 --> 00:18:50,831 Maybe this is where you learn the lesson that... 379 00:18:50,899 --> 00:18:54,334 words really mean something and they can hurt people, 380 00:18:54,402 --> 00:18:57,938 so you just can't always say the first horrible thing 381 00:18:58,006 --> 00:18:59,606 that pops into your head all the time. 382 00:18:59,674 --> 00:19:02,776 - That's gonna be so hard. - I know. 383 00:19:04,879 --> 00:19:06,647 Why are you being so nice to me? 384 00:19:06,714 --> 00:19:09,383 Because we have a real opportunity here. 385 00:19:09,450 --> 00:19:14,822 I mean, I think it's safe to say that you and this house have hit rock bottom. 386 00:19:14,889 --> 00:19:17,491 And when things can't seem to get any worse, 387 00:19:17,559 --> 00:19:19,393 that's when they start to get better. 388 00:19:19,460 --> 00:19:22,496 We're co-presidents, remember? 389 00:19:22,564 --> 00:19:24,865 That means this is the moment where you and I join forces 390 00:19:24,933 --> 00:19:27,067 to catch this killer and rebuild Kappa Kappa Tau 391 00:19:27,135 --> 00:19:29,736 into being something everybody can be proud of. 392 00:19:29,804 --> 00:19:31,338 And we're gonna do it together. 393 00:19:33,408 --> 00:19:34,675 Fine. 394 00:19:34,742 --> 00:19:36,043 I'm in. 395 00:19:36,110 --> 00:19:38,212 Whatever it takes. 396 00:19:46,955 --> 00:19:48,422 Well, that's just great. 397 00:19:53,127 --> 00:19:54,394 What's wrong with him? 398 00:20:06,040 --> 00:20:08,475 Please, please! I... I didn't mean to do it! 399 00:20:08,543 --> 00:20:10,344 He's trying to say something! Rip off his mask! 400 00:20:11,512 --> 00:20:12,646 Please! 401 00:20:12,714 --> 00:20:14,281 She made me do it! 402 00:20:14,349 --> 00:20:15,449 - Who?! Who made you do it?! - Get me out of this suit! 403 00:20:15,516 --> 00:20:17,818 - Have you seen this guy before? - No! 404 00:20:19,053 --> 00:20:21,154 He smells like a pizza parlor. 405 00:20:21,222 --> 00:20:23,023 Get me out of this suit! 406 00:20:24,692 --> 00:20:26,026 Bitches, gather round. 407 00:20:26,094 --> 00:20:28,028 - What the hell is going on? - Who is that guy? 408 00:20:28,096 --> 00:20:30,297 We have no idea. Neither of us have seen him before. 409 00:20:30,365 --> 00:20:31,665 Yeah. It was so weird. 410 00:20:31,733 --> 00:20:34,801 As soon as Zayday and I joined forces, he just fell into our lap. 411 00:20:34,869 --> 00:20:38,138 Guys, something really weird happened, and I'm so unsettled. 412 00:20:38,206 --> 00:20:40,207 No one cares! We just caught the killer! 413 00:20:40,275 --> 00:20:42,042 No, listen! I was getting my Fitbit steps in 414 00:20:42,110 --> 00:20:45,212 when this girl appeared out of nowhere with a shawl covering her face. 415 00:20:45,280 --> 00:20:46,747 Oh, great news. The Hag of Shady Lane has a sister. 416 00:20:46,814 --> 00:20:48,181 No one cares. 417 00:20:48,249 --> 00:20:50,684 No, she had scars all over her face. 418 00:20:50,752 --> 00:20:53,020 She probably had bad acne and wanted beauty tips from us. 419 00:20:53,087 --> 00:20:55,522 It was terrifying. She was carrying a shovel! 420 00:20:55,590 --> 00:20:57,524 There's nothing terrifying about that. 421 00:20:57,592 --> 00:20:59,459 She kept saying something, something "dork." 422 00:20:59,527 --> 00:21:00,994 Saying I'm-I'm a dork 423 00:21:01,062 --> 00:21:02,029 or something "dork." 424 00:21:02,096 --> 00:21:03,630 Number Six, hi. 425 00:21:03,698 --> 00:21:05,799 Everyone on campus but me is a dork! 426 00:21:05,867 --> 00:21:07,834 You're always trying to pull focus! 427 00:21:11,739 --> 00:21:12,673 Any last words? 428 00:21:17,745 --> 00:21:18,912 I'm gonna explode. 429 00:21:18,980 --> 00:21:20,380 What? 430 00:21:20,448 --> 00:21:22,215 We should probably let him use the bathroom. 431 00:21:22,283 --> 00:21:23,684 No! I'm gonna explode! 432 00:21:24,919 --> 00:21:26,420 I'm just a delivery guy! 433 00:21:28,423 --> 00:21:30,057 I delivered a pizza to this address and someone answered 434 00:21:30,124 --> 00:21:32,859 the door in this costume! Pizza! 435 00:21:32,927 --> 00:21:33,894 Wait, there's pizza? 436 00:21:33,962 --> 00:21:36,430 When I woke up, I was wrapped in dynamite! 437 00:21:42,270 --> 00:21:43,870 Oh, my God, it's a bomb. 438 00:21:46,941 --> 00:21:48,575 She had a low voice, like a machine. 439 00:21:49,402 --> 00:21:51,602 She said she... the only way she wouldn't kill me is 440 00:21:51,646 --> 00:21:54,147 if I came in here and I killed everyone. And if I didn't, 441 00:21:54,215 --> 00:21:55,582 she'd detonate the bomb! 442 00:22:55,548 --> 00:22:57,549 I just don't understand. 443 00:22:57,617 --> 00:22:59,151 Like, one minute he's here, 444 00:22:59,219 --> 00:23:01,153 and then the next minute he just explodes! 445 00:23:01,421 --> 00:23:04,189 I know. I also was there. 446 00:23:04,257 --> 00:23:05,590 I mean, it's just so messed up. 447 00:23:05,658 --> 00:23:08,260 Like, what are we supposed to do now? 448 00:23:08,327 --> 00:23:10,762 Yes, a totally innocent man who seemed super nice 449 00:23:10,830 --> 00:23:12,564 and probably did nothing wrong at all 450 00:23:12,632 --> 00:23:14,866 just got blown up in our living room. 451 00:23:14,934 --> 00:23:18,870 Bummer. Now, let's honor his memory by moving on. 452 00:23:20,172 --> 00:23:22,407 What's wrong with her? 453 00:23:22,475 --> 00:23:25,276 Number Five is bumming me out by insisting that we relive 454 00:23:25,344 --> 00:23:29,447 the moment the pizza guy blew up over and over and over! 455 00:23:29,515 --> 00:23:32,450 Can you not make it about you for one second?! 456 00:23:32,518 --> 00:23:35,353 No, guys, I'm really freaked out! I feel like I'm having a panic attack! 457 00:23:35,421 --> 00:23:37,288 Get it together, Number Five! 458 00:23:37,356 --> 00:23:41,292 Stop wallowing and start concentrating on what's really important here. 459 00:23:41,360 --> 00:23:43,194 Restoring my reputation. 460 00:23:44,263 --> 00:23:45,497 Is that what's really important? 461 00:23:45,564 --> 00:23:47,298 Listen... 462 00:23:47,366 --> 00:23:49,134 ever since Zayday saved my life 463 00:23:49,201 --> 00:23:50,835 from the fake asp I ordered online, 464 00:23:50,903 --> 00:23:52,504 I'm a changed woman. 465 00:23:52,571 --> 00:23:54,639 Like, I get now that other people have feelings, 466 00:23:54,707 --> 00:23:57,575 and that words, they're like weapons or something. 467 00:23:58,711 --> 00:24:00,278 So, I figured out a plan 468 00:24:00,346 --> 00:24:02,814 to restore Kappa House's dignity, get back Chad Radwell, 469 00:24:02,882 --> 00:24:05,150 and put me back into the hearts 470 00:24:05,217 --> 00:24:07,118 of the citizens of this great nation. 471 00:24:07,186 --> 00:24:10,188 Wait, so... the plan isn't to catch the killer? 472 00:24:10,256 --> 00:24:11,956 No! We already know who the killer is! 473 00:24:12,024 --> 00:24:13,958 It's Boone! If we don't want him to kill us, 474 00:24:14,026 --> 00:24:16,461 we just have to avoid places where gay people go. 475 00:24:16,529 --> 00:24:19,130 So, like, behind every Bennigan's. 476 00:24:19,198 --> 00:24:20,465 I love Bennigan's. 477 00:24:20,533 --> 00:24:21,800 So what's the plan? 478 00:24:21,867 --> 00:24:24,002 I need to go on an apology tour. 479 00:24:25,371 --> 00:24:26,638 You know, like celebrities, 480 00:24:26,706 --> 00:24:27,839 when they say something offensive, 481 00:24:27,907 --> 00:24:29,307 they just go on TV and apologize, 482 00:24:29,375 --> 00:24:30,675 and everybody forgives them, 483 00:24:30,743 --> 00:24:32,677 even though they don't mean it at all. 484 00:24:32,745 --> 00:24:35,180 The first person I'm gonna apologize to... 485 00:24:35,247 --> 00:24:37,849 - Me. - ...Melanie Dorkus. 486 00:24:37,917 --> 00:24:39,751 - What? - Yes. You heard what Number Six said. 487 00:24:39,819 --> 00:24:41,753 Clearly Melanie Dorkus is stalking the campus 488 00:24:41,821 --> 00:24:44,255 with a shovel in a veil, all pissed off because her face 489 00:24:44,323 --> 00:24:46,891 got burnt off, and I want to let bygones be bygones. 490 00:24:46,959 --> 00:24:48,560 But I thought that you said that you weren't the person 491 00:24:48,627 --> 00:24:50,028 who put the acid in the spray tanner. 492 00:24:50,096 --> 00:24:51,863 Well, I didn't, but she thinks I did. 493 00:24:51,931 --> 00:24:54,199 So here's the plan... We're gonna go to her house, 494 00:24:54,266 --> 00:24:56,534 I'm gonna fake apologize, you'll record it, 495 00:24:56,602 --> 00:24:58,536 we'll post it online, and it'll all be fine. 496 00:24:58,604 --> 00:25:01,005 - Wait, we're gonna what? - Let's go. 497 00:25:04,610 --> 00:25:07,011 Like, after Roger and Dodger, like, 498 00:25:07,079 --> 00:25:09,347 - I've suffered so much loss in my life. - Oh, Jesus. Let's go. 499 00:25:09,415 --> 00:25:12,584 Why do you think the Devil let me live? 500 00:25:12,651 --> 00:25:14,686 I don't know. 501 00:25:14,754 --> 00:25:17,055 But I still think we should call the police. 502 00:25:17,123 --> 00:25:19,524 What will that do? I mean, all Denise is gonna do 503 00:25:19,592 --> 00:25:20,692 is arrest Zayday again. 504 00:25:23,095 --> 00:25:25,029 Um... 505 00:25:27,600 --> 00:25:30,201 You guys didn't, um... 506 00:25:30,269 --> 00:25:31,202 What? 507 00:25:34,006 --> 00:25:36,040 No. Dad. No. 508 00:25:36,108 --> 00:25:38,476 - Didn't. - Okay, I had to ask. 509 00:25:38,544 --> 00:25:40,912 I was going to, though, 510 00:25:40,980 --> 00:25:43,815 - and it felt right and... - That's nice. Mm-hmm. 511 00:25:43,883 --> 00:25:47,152 Oh, my God. I mean, can you imagine if I had? 512 00:25:47,219 --> 00:25:50,588 I mean, what is so wrong with me, Dad, that I totally misread him? 513 00:25:52,658 --> 00:25:55,760 I think you saw what you wanted to see. 514 00:25:55,828 --> 00:26:00,198 And from the sounds of it, you know, at least he was coming 515 00:26:00,266 --> 00:26:03,034 from a-a loving and-and positive place. 516 00:26:03,102 --> 00:26:06,404 You can't kill people from a loving and positive place. 517 00:26:06,472 --> 00:26:09,073 Well, obviously, but... 518 00:26:09,141 --> 00:26:13,111 I just didn't want this experience to stop you from trusting your instincts. 519 00:26:13,179 --> 00:26:16,281 Pete was a good guy. 520 00:26:16,348 --> 00:26:18,650 Solid, hardworking, handsome. 521 00:26:18,717 --> 00:26:21,286 And, yes, I'm glad he wasn't your first. 522 00:26:21,353 --> 00:26:24,489 But aside from the in-cahoots-with-killers thing, 523 00:26:24,557 --> 00:26:27,826 I think you made a good choice when you considered him. 524 00:26:27,893 --> 00:26:29,961 Invasion of the dad bod snatchers. 525 00:26:30,029 --> 00:26:31,429 Who are you? 526 00:26:32,898 --> 00:26:35,667 That's a good question. 527 00:26:35,734 --> 00:26:37,669 I'm a guy 528 00:26:37,736 --> 00:26:41,272 who's learning to loosen the leash and trust his daughter. 529 00:26:41,340 --> 00:26:45,476 And if all of this has taught me anything, 530 00:26:45,544 --> 00:26:48,646 it's that I can't protect you from the world. 531 00:26:50,382 --> 00:26:53,751 And that you're pretty bad-ass when it comes to taking care of yourself. 532 00:26:53,819 --> 00:26:56,087 Well... 533 00:26:56,155 --> 00:26:58,623 what I've learned is that I still need my dad. 534 00:26:58,691 --> 00:27:01,759 Especially if I want to catch the killer. 535 00:27:01,827 --> 00:27:04,963 Boone and Pete are dead, so there's only one left. 536 00:27:05,030 --> 00:27:07,098 The girl in the bathtub. 537 00:27:07,166 --> 00:27:08,766 Pete said it's one of my sisters, 538 00:27:08,834 --> 00:27:10,768 - which means we narrowed it down to five. - Mm-hmm. 539 00:27:10,836 --> 00:27:13,605 And, well, there's only one way to figure out which one of them it is. 540 00:27:13,672 --> 00:27:14,672 Lie detectors. 541 00:27:14,740 --> 00:27:16,774 - No, Dad... - Waterboarding. 542 00:27:16,842 --> 00:27:18,509 - That's illegal. - If it's good enough 543 00:27:18,577 --> 00:27:19,711 for the CIA, it's good enough for me. 544 00:27:19,778 --> 00:27:21,312 Dad... 545 00:27:21,380 --> 00:27:23,147 Okay, I have a better idea. 546 00:27:23,215 --> 00:27:26,150 Why don't we lock ourselves in here, and then we just wait 547 00:27:26,218 --> 00:27:28,152 for the killer to kill the other four... 548 00:27:28,220 --> 00:27:29,520 Okay, Dad... 549 00:27:31,390 --> 00:27:36,160 I need to get as much information on all of them as possible. 550 00:27:36,228 --> 00:27:39,364 Okay. Um, how do we do that? 551 00:27:39,431 --> 00:27:41,666 Dad... 552 00:27:41,734 --> 00:27:45,837 get ready to make the most important playlist of your life. 553 00:27:48,107 --> 00:27:50,842 We're gonna need you to take one for the team. 554 00:28:27,693 --> 00:28:28,793 Hey, Teach. 555 00:28:31,363 --> 00:28:32,897 What's going on? 556 00:28:32,965 --> 00:28:35,767 Well, I decided to stop denying what you and I both knew 557 00:28:35,835 --> 00:28:37,769 the minute we laid eyes on each other. 558 00:28:39,805 --> 00:28:42,741 And once I did, something inside of me, I don't know, it just... 559 00:28:42,808 --> 00:28:44,576 just clicked. 560 00:28:44,643 --> 00:28:46,811 And I guess I just wanted to get a little crazy. 561 00:28:46,879 --> 00:28:49,280 So you just decided 562 00:28:49,348 --> 00:28:51,216 to break into my house in the middle of the day? 563 00:28:51,283 --> 00:28:55,166 I know. I've been a very bad boy. 564 00:28:56,021 --> 00:28:57,722 Maybe I should get sent to the dean. 565 00:28:57,790 --> 00:28:59,724 Well... 566 00:29:01,961 --> 00:29:04,229 I'm sure... 567 00:29:04,296 --> 00:29:06,025 that that... 568 00:29:06,866 --> 00:29:08,762 can be arranged. 569 00:29:11,003 --> 00:29:12,570 Okay. 570 00:29:12,638 --> 00:29:15,240 I'm just trying to figure out what your angle is. 571 00:29:15,307 --> 00:29:17,575 What are you trying to get out of this? 572 00:29:17,643 --> 00:29:18,943 Oh, I'm just trying to get... 573 00:29:19,011 --> 00:29:20,645 You know what I'm trying to get? 574 00:29:20,713 --> 00:29:24,582 45 minutes alone, so I can go crazy on you. 575 00:29:29,054 --> 00:29:30,789 Yeah, you feel that? 576 00:29:33,359 --> 00:29:34,626 Ow! 577 00:29:37,863 --> 00:29:40,632 Yes. 578 00:29:40,699 --> 00:29:43,168 Oh! 579 00:29:43,235 --> 00:29:45,970 Turn out the lights! 580 00:29:46,038 --> 00:29:47,705 I'm not turning these lights off. 581 00:29:47,773 --> 00:29:50,708 - Mmm! - I don't want to miss a thing. 582 00:29:54,113 --> 00:29:56,014 I'm sorry, who are you? 583 00:29:56,081 --> 00:29:57,682 I'm Chanel Oberlin. 584 00:29:57,750 --> 00:29:58,850 These are my minions. 585 00:29:58,918 --> 00:30:00,218 We're here to see Melanie Dorkus. 586 00:30:00,286 --> 00:30:03,021 But Ms. Dorkus does not allow visitors. 587 00:30:03,088 --> 00:30:04,556 Due to the nature 588 00:30:04,623 --> 00:30:07,091 of her deformities, she has remained in solitude 589 00:30:07,159 --> 00:30:08,893 since her release from the hospital. 590 00:30:08,961 --> 00:30:11,062 I'm sorry, but there must be some mistake. 591 00:30:11,130 --> 00:30:14,866 I spoke with Melanie this morning, and she sounded very excited to see us. 592 00:30:14,934 --> 00:30:16,401 What's that smell? 593 00:30:16,468 --> 00:30:17,769 Those are the hounds. 594 00:30:17,837 --> 00:30:20,872 Apart from myself, 595 00:30:20,940 --> 00:30:25,276 Ms. Dorkus' only companions are the large, angry mastiffs that patrol the corridors. 596 00:30:28,113 --> 00:30:31,082 If you'll wait in here, I'll let Ms. Dorkus know you're here. 597 00:30:36,655 --> 00:30:37,755 - God. - Ew. 598 00:30:39,992 --> 00:30:41,459 Where is Number Six? 599 00:30:41,527 --> 00:30:43,328 She said that she'd meet us here. 600 00:30:43,395 --> 00:30:45,263 That's weird. She said she was coming. 601 00:31:32,011 --> 00:31:34,279 What exactly are we looking for? 602 00:31:34,346 --> 00:31:35,780 We need to see files on all the Chanels. 603 00:31:35,848 --> 00:31:38,683 See if there's anything in there that eliminates them as suspects. 604 00:31:38,751 --> 00:31:40,618 How do you know I'm not the killer? 605 00:31:40,686 --> 00:31:42,053 I just know. 606 00:31:42,121 --> 00:31:46,991 - How do you know I'm not? - Just know, too. 607 00:31:47,059 --> 00:31:49,827 Okay, first, we need to check all of their transcripts, 608 00:31:49,895 --> 00:31:52,330 see if any of them have taken any suspicious courses. 609 00:31:52,398 --> 00:31:53,932 Okay, like this, see? 610 00:31:53,999 --> 00:31:55,300 She took an engineering course 611 00:31:55,367 --> 00:31:57,101 and a course on domestic terrorism, 612 00:31:57,169 --> 00:31:59,604 so she may have learned how to make the Mr. Pizza Guy bomb. 613 00:32:04,243 --> 00:32:06,277 Okay, we just need to pretend like we can't hear anything. 614 00:32:06,345 --> 00:32:08,346 Look, it said she failed gross anatomy 615 00:32:08,414 --> 00:32:09,948 because she couldn't dissect a pig. 616 00:32:10,015 --> 00:32:11,649 No way she could chainsaw a guy's 617 00:32:11,717 --> 00:32:13,618 arms off if she can't cut open a dead pig. 618 00:32:16,255 --> 00:32:18,389 Wait. She also took a class in sewing. 619 00:32:18,457 --> 00:32:21,225 There's a college course on sewing? 620 00:32:21,293 --> 00:32:22,493 Do you remember in the Red Devil's lair, 621 00:32:22,561 --> 00:32:25,697 there was all that stuff to make the costumes? 622 00:32:25,764 --> 00:32:26,864 Oh, my God. 623 00:32:26,932 --> 00:32:29,000 And another on human anatomy, 624 00:32:29,068 --> 00:32:30,835 which she would need to cut Gigi's head off. 625 00:32:33,072 --> 00:32:34,739 Take a look at the rest of the file. 626 00:32:34,807 --> 00:32:36,908 See if there's anything about the family. 627 00:32:36,976 --> 00:32:39,010 You mean like the fact that her Social Security number 628 00:32:39,078 --> 00:32:42,180 is 123-45-6789? 629 00:32:42,247 --> 00:32:44,882 And her home address is Sesame Street? 630 00:32:44,950 --> 00:32:46,351 Look at her high school transcript. 631 00:32:46,418 --> 00:32:48,286 It said she graduated from Sweet Valley High? 632 00:32:48,354 --> 00:32:49,954 This whole file is made up. 633 00:32:52,057 --> 00:32:54,659 So that's her. 634 00:32:54,727 --> 00:32:57,662 She's the baby in the bathtub. 635 00:32:57,730 --> 00:32:59,731 The last Red Devil Killer. 636 00:33:02,267 --> 00:33:05,169 Where are the Chanels right now? 637 00:33:10,642 --> 00:33:12,176 I have to go right now. 638 00:33:12,244 --> 00:33:13,678 What? 639 00:33:13,746 --> 00:33:16,347 Somebody just swiped right on me on Tinder. 640 00:33:16,415 --> 00:33:19,217 Chanel, this has never happened. 641 00:33:19,284 --> 00:33:21,552 Ms. Dorkus will see you now. 642 00:33:21,620 --> 00:33:23,888 I called the company because I thought the app was broken. 643 00:33:23,956 --> 00:33:25,423 I have to go meet this guy. 644 00:33:25,491 --> 00:33:26,257 You should go. 645 00:33:26,325 --> 00:33:28,559 Hmm. Chanel. 646 00:33:28,627 --> 00:33:32,096 Any guy swiping right on you is a miracle. 647 00:33:32,164 --> 00:33:34,399 So, go. Go meet this blind man. 648 00:33:34,466 --> 00:33:36,601 And when I'm done apologizing to Melanie, 649 00:33:36,668 --> 00:33:38,903 I'm gonna call Pope Francis because... 650 00:33:38,971 --> 00:33:42,740 we now have proof of God's existence in this universe. 651 00:33:58,700 --> 00:33:59,818 You want a drag? 652 00:34:00,349 --> 00:34:01,630 No, I'm good. 653 00:34:03,414 --> 00:34:07,617 Um, so I don't... I don't exactly know how to say this. 654 00:34:07,685 --> 00:34:09,853 Mm. Let me say it for you. 655 00:34:09,921 --> 00:34:13,690 "Dean Munsch, I really respect you, but I only did this 656 00:34:13,758 --> 00:34:15,959 "to find out some piece of information about the murders, 657 00:34:16,027 --> 00:34:18,161 and now I don't think we should take it any further." 658 00:34:18,229 --> 00:34:21,298 That's not what I was gonna say. 659 00:34:23,267 --> 00:34:25,235 Cathy... 660 00:34:25,303 --> 00:34:27,337 that was the best sex of my life. 661 00:34:27,405 --> 00:34:29,172 I'm not joking. 662 00:34:30,975 --> 00:34:32,342 Well... 663 00:34:32,410 --> 00:34:34,177 Uh... 664 00:34:34,245 --> 00:34:37,247 Seeing as you remained celibate for the full 18 years, 665 00:34:37,315 --> 00:34:38,882 and then decided to re-pop your cherry 666 00:34:38,950 --> 00:34:40,583 with the most mentally ill woman 667 00:34:40,651 --> 00:34:44,054 on campus, I'm gonna take that with a grain of salt. 668 00:34:44,121 --> 00:34:46,890 I think you're just relieved to find out 669 00:34:46,958 --> 00:34:48,692 that intercourse doesn't have to be followed 670 00:34:48,759 --> 00:34:50,627 by hours and hours of crying 671 00:34:50,695 --> 00:34:52,996 and a weird purchase of an engagement ring. 672 00:34:53,064 --> 00:34:54,497 Listen to me. Listen to me. Hold on. 673 00:34:54,565 --> 00:34:58,001 Cathy, I'm serious. 674 00:34:58,069 --> 00:35:00,403 Look, I never knew sex could be like that. 675 00:35:00,471 --> 00:35:02,372 At first, I was like... I was like, 676 00:35:02,440 --> 00:35:04,174 "Wow, she's being really loud. 677 00:35:04,241 --> 00:35:06,009 Are the neighbors gonna call the police?" 678 00:35:06,077 --> 00:35:09,546 And then I was like, "Wow, now I'm being really loud. 679 00:35:09,613 --> 00:35:11,514 "Why am I screaming so much? 680 00:35:11,582 --> 00:35:13,383 They're definitely gonna call the police." 681 00:35:13,451 --> 00:35:16,753 And then I was just... stunned at how flexible you are. 682 00:35:16,821 --> 00:35:18,855 I mean, I thought you had to be a gymnast 683 00:35:18,923 --> 00:35:20,857 to get both feet behind your head. 684 00:35:20,925 --> 00:35:22,192 Do you intend to come to a point? 685 00:35:22,259 --> 00:35:24,861 Yeah. Sorry. Look, um... 686 00:35:24,929 --> 00:35:27,864 when we first met, you came on really strong, 687 00:35:27,932 --> 00:35:30,600 and I-I was a little turned off, I have to admit. 688 00:35:30,668 --> 00:35:33,069 But then I was like, "Damn, girl. 689 00:35:33,137 --> 00:35:34,637 "I mean, this-this... this chick... 690 00:35:34,705 --> 00:35:38,108 this chick must really be onto something." 691 00:35:38,175 --> 00:35:39,909 I mean, if that's the way 692 00:35:39,977 --> 00:35:41,644 that our bodies talk to one another... 693 00:35:41,712 --> 00:35:43,279 That is a gross way to put it. 694 00:35:43,347 --> 00:35:47,684 I just think that maybe you and I were meant to be together after all. 695 00:35:49,587 --> 00:35:53,023 I'm serious. I'm serious, Cathy. Listen to me. 696 00:35:53,090 --> 00:35:54,190 I like you. 697 00:35:54,258 --> 00:35:57,894 Like... like like you. 698 00:35:57,962 --> 00:36:00,196 And, you know, if you are, uh... 699 00:36:00,264 --> 00:36:02,866 if you're down, girl, 700 00:36:02,933 --> 00:36:05,802 to see if this relationship has legs... 701 00:36:05,870 --> 00:36:07,937 'Cause I know... 702 00:36:08,005 --> 00:36:10,106 I know you got legs, all right, you know. 703 00:36:10,174 --> 00:36:12,575 I mean, if you're down, I'm... I'm all for it. 704 00:36:12,643 --> 00:36:14,144 I'm-I'm down. 705 00:36:31,028 --> 00:36:32,762 - There's just one thing. - Oh, shoot. 706 00:36:32,830 --> 00:36:34,664 - Your daughter. - Uh-huh. 707 00:36:34,732 --> 00:36:37,133 She's gonna have to go. 708 00:36:37,201 --> 00:36:39,302 - What? - I'm just being honest. 709 00:36:39,370 --> 00:36:41,304 I find her unbearably annoying, 710 00:36:41,372 --> 00:36:43,339 and the minute she gets wind of this, 711 00:36:43,407 --> 00:36:45,475 she is gonna be whispering in your ear 712 00:36:45,543 --> 00:36:47,944 how I am no good for you. 713 00:36:48,012 --> 00:36:51,648 So if you want this to happen, 714 00:36:51,715 --> 00:36:53,750 we're just gonna have to find a way 715 00:36:53,818 --> 00:36:56,953 to give ourselves a little space, 716 00:36:57,021 --> 00:36:59,456 figure out a way to make Gracie 717 00:36:59,523 --> 00:37:02,992 go bye-bye for a little while. 718 00:37:06,030 --> 00:37:07,430 Now... 719 00:37:09,500 --> 00:37:12,135 I am gonna go freshen up 720 00:37:12,203 --> 00:37:15,705 and then come back for round deux. 721 00:37:30,955 --> 00:37:32,989 Get your phone out, Number Three. 722 00:37:33,057 --> 00:37:35,825 You're recording this. 723 00:37:35,893 --> 00:37:37,360 Melanie? 724 00:37:37,428 --> 00:37:39,496 Hi! 725 00:37:39,563 --> 00:37:41,831 It's Chanel Oberlin. 726 00:37:41,899 --> 00:37:43,433 I know. 727 00:37:43,501 --> 00:37:47,704 I recognized the Island Splash scent of that douche you use. 728 00:37:55,284 --> 00:37:57,380 Oh, my God, she looks like Jason Voorhees. 729 00:37:57,448 --> 00:37:59,649 No. Jason was deformed since, like, birth. 730 00:37:59,717 --> 00:38:01,484 She looks like Freddy Krueger. 731 00:38:01,552 --> 00:38:03,686 No. Jason Voorhees. He's all disfigured 732 00:38:03,754 --> 00:38:05,388 from that toxic waste that got splashed in his face. 733 00:38:05,456 --> 00:38:06,823 What movie are you even referring to? 734 00:38:06,891 --> 00:38:08,491 Jason Goes to Hell. 735 00:38:08,559 --> 00:38:10,326 That's the only Friday the 13th movie you've seen? 736 00:38:10,394 --> 00:38:11,728 I'm right here. 737 00:38:12,581 --> 00:38:15,031 Hi. I am so sorry. 738 00:38:15,505 --> 00:38:19,703 Melanie, you remember Chanel 739 00:38:19,770 --> 00:38:21,771 I'm sorry I haven't come by sooner. 740 00:38:21,839 --> 00:38:23,706 I didn't realize you were in town. 741 00:38:25,109 --> 00:38:28,545 I heard you were living in Alaska, 742 00:38:28,612 --> 00:38:30,213 where it's night for half the year. 743 00:38:30,281 --> 00:38:33,383 I was, but my parents say living alone 744 00:38:33,450 --> 00:38:35,718 in an arctic compound wasn't healthy, 745 00:38:35,786 --> 00:38:39,889 so, six weeks ago, they moved me here. 746 00:38:40,785 --> 00:38:44,560 This is the estate that three generations of my family went insane in. 747 00:38:44,628 --> 00:38:47,397 Well, you look great. 748 00:38:47,464 --> 00:38:50,233 Don't patronize me. I look like a monster. 749 00:38:50,301 --> 00:38:54,437 Toxic Avenger. That's who I was thinking of. 750 00:38:54,505 --> 00:38:57,540 Well, have you thought of a little... plastic surgery? 751 00:38:57,608 --> 00:39:00,210 I've had nine surgeries already, you evil bitch! 752 00:39:00,277 --> 00:39:01,711 You did this to me! 753 00:39:01,779 --> 00:39:03,446 Now, Melanie, wait a minute. 754 00:39:03,514 --> 00:39:05,081 Start recording. 755 00:39:06,150 --> 00:39:08,117 Melanie... 756 00:39:09,787 --> 00:39:11,221 There's something I want to say to you. 757 00:39:12,068 --> 00:39:16,576 And I think it's gonna be hard for both of us. 758 00:39:17,328 --> 00:39:19,262 Ms. Dorkus has visitors! 759 00:39:19,330 --> 00:39:20,897 You can't go in there! 760 00:39:20,965 --> 00:39:23,933 Melanie, I just want to say... 761 00:39:24,001 --> 00:39:26,102 ...that I hope you rot in hell, bitch! 762 00:39:28,005 --> 00:39:29,806 What are you doing? I thought you came here to apologize. 763 00:39:29,873 --> 00:39:31,608 Never! I apologize for nothing. 764 00:39:31,675 --> 00:39:34,344 Melanie Dorkus is the killer! 765 00:39:34,411 --> 00:39:35,845 - What?! - Oh, don't look so surprised, Mask. 766 00:39:35,913 --> 00:39:39,015 All evidence points to you. 767 00:39:39,083 --> 00:39:40,783 You heard what Number Six said. 768 00:39:40,851 --> 00:39:43,152 She saw someone walking around campus, in a veil, 769 00:39:43,220 --> 00:39:44,654 muttering, "Dork, Dork, Dork!" 770 00:39:44,722 --> 00:39:46,289 Dork as in Dorkus! 771 00:39:46,357 --> 00:39:48,825 So she suddenly can't remember her own last name? 772 00:39:48,892 --> 00:39:52,495 I called my travel agent, who called Alaska Charters LLC, 773 00:39:52,563 --> 00:39:55,632 who confirmed that you, Melanie Dorkus, 774 00:39:55,699 --> 00:39:57,400 took a seaplane back to campus 775 00:39:57,468 --> 00:39:59,168 one week before the killings started. 776 00:39:59,236 --> 00:40:00,169 So? 777 00:40:00,237 --> 00:40:01,537 So, you're obviously the killer! 778 00:40:01,605 --> 00:40:03,873 You came back from your weird arctic compound 779 00:40:03,941 --> 00:40:06,409 to get revenge on Kappa House because you're hideous 780 00:40:06,477 --> 00:40:08,711 and think that I put acid in your spray tanner 781 00:40:08,779 --> 00:40:10,046 when I didn't! 782 00:40:10,114 --> 00:40:12,015 I don't know what you're talking about! 783 00:40:12,082 --> 00:40:14,050 - I didn't kill anybody! - Can it, Dorkus. 784 00:40:14,118 --> 00:40:15,685 I know it was you. 785 00:40:15,753 --> 00:40:17,687 Have fun in hell, bitch. 786 00:40:17,755 --> 00:40:19,956 And FYI, this is probably gonna hurt a lot. 787 00:40:20,758 --> 00:40:23,359 Wait! Chanel! Stop! Stop, stop, stop! She's not the killer. 788 00:40:23,427 --> 00:40:25,061 What are you talking about? Of course she is! 789 00:40:25,129 --> 00:40:27,930 No, she's not. I swear. We have proof. 790 00:40:27,998 --> 00:40:29,399 It's Hester. 791 00:40:29,466 --> 00:40:32,402 Hester is the Red Devil. 792 00:40:36,807 --> 00:40:38,141 So sorry. 793 00:40:38,208 --> 00:40:40,910 Stop recording! 794 00:40:40,978 --> 00:40:43,780 I knew that bitch was a nut burger the minute I met her. 795 00:40:43,847 --> 00:40:46,115 It's like, who wears a neck brace like that in 2015? 796 00:40:46,183 --> 00:40:47,917 You know, who are you? Forrest Gump? 797 00:40:47,985 --> 00:40:49,552 That's why you gave her a makeover 798 00:40:49,620 --> 00:40:51,220 and made her one of your minions? 799 00:40:51,288 --> 00:40:53,523 Have you not noticed the Chanels operate in a world 800 00:40:53,590 --> 00:40:55,191 that is outside the laws of man? 801 00:40:55,259 --> 00:40:56,893 She has to show back up here eventually. 802 00:40:56,960 --> 00:40:58,361 We need to devise a trap. 803 00:40:58,429 --> 00:40:59,762 But remember, she's armed and dangerous. 804 00:41:22,519 --> 00:41:24,954 Did you hear that? I think it came from Chanel's closet. 805 00:41:25,022 --> 00:41:26,956 Number Five, what are you doing here?! 806 00:41:27,024 --> 00:41:29,492 Oh, please tell me you did not bring your insane 807 00:41:29,560 --> 00:41:31,327 and obviously blind Tinder hookup back here. 808 00:41:31,395 --> 00:41:32,829 I mean, the last thing I need to see right now 809 00:41:32,896 --> 00:41:35,631 is a guy running out of your room with his index finger bitten off. 810 00:41:35,699 --> 00:41:37,133 You know, 'cause your vagina has teeth. 811 00:41:37,201 --> 00:41:39,369 No. It was a fake, and I should have known, 812 00:41:39,436 --> 00:41:41,003 because his Tinder profile picture 813 00:41:41,071 --> 00:41:42,805 is the guy from Nickelback cut out of a magazine. 814 00:41:42,873 --> 00:41:44,374 You're saying you would have been okay 815 00:41:44,441 --> 00:41:46,476 if it was the guy from Nickelback? 816 00:41:46,543 --> 00:41:48,478 He's, like, 60. And Canadian. 817 00:41:48,545 --> 00:41:50,413 I lost my virginity to a Nickelback song. 818 00:41:50,481 --> 00:41:52,448 Okay, can we please stop talking 819 00:41:52,516 --> 00:41:54,751 about Chanel and see who's screaming? 820 00:41:54,818 --> 00:41:55,818 Come on. 821 00:42:15,873 --> 00:42:18,641 Oh, my God. 822 00:42:18,709 --> 00:42:20,676 Is she dead? 823 00:42:20,744 --> 00:42:22,145 This is so horrible! 824 00:42:22,212 --> 00:42:24,147 I know. That was such a fabulous pair of shoes. 825 00:42:24,214 --> 00:42:25,882 I can't feel a pulse. 826 00:42:25,949 --> 00:42:26,983 This doesn't make any sense. 827 00:42:27,050 --> 00:42:28,684 Hester is the killer. 828 00:42:28,752 --> 00:42:31,020 Pete's dead, Boone's dead. Who could have done this to her? 829 00:42:38,462 --> 00:42:41,831 Red... Devil! 830 00:42:53,610 --> 00:42:54,811 - sync and corrections by Caio - - www.addic7ed.com -