1 00:00:03,803 --> 00:00:07,398 [Earl] I do think being a sunburned guy is a good costume for Halloween. 2 00:00:07,507 --> 00:00:09,737 - We can't both do the same thing. - Come on. 3 00:00:09,843 --> 00:00:13,574 Two sunburned guys is way funnier than one. 4 00:00:13,680 --> 00:00:15,944 Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow. 5 00:00:16,049 --> 00:00:17,949 Come on. Do it with me. 6 00:00:18,051 --> 00:00:22,954 [Together] Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow. 7 00:00:23,056 --> 00:00:24,956 Maybe you're right. 8 00:00:25,058 --> 00:00:29,290 [Together] Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow. 9 00:00:29,396 --> 00:00:31,296 Oh, perfect timing. 10 00:00:31,398 --> 00:00:35,232 I can't figure out how to get this coffin lid on right. Can y'all help me? 11 00:00:35,335 --> 00:00:37,701 Joy, we're not stupid. 12 00:00:37,804 --> 00:00:39,704 What's gonna pop out of there and scare us? 13 00:00:39,806 --> 00:00:42,366 Nothin'. Nothin'. 14 00:00:43,476 --> 00:00:45,876 How about we just stand back over here... 15 00:00:45,979 --> 00:00:48,072 and you show us how the lid works? 16 00:00:48,181 --> 00:00:50,206 - [Shouting] - [Shouting] 17 00:00:50,316 --> 00:00:52,876 [Laughing] 18 00:00:53,987 --> 00:00:56,387 [Exhales] Hey, Earl. 19 00:00:56,489 --> 00:00:59,083 Hey, Crabman. 20 00:01:02,162 --> 00:01:04,062 I told you that was a bad idea, Joy. 21 00:01:04,164 --> 00:01:06,496 Oh, don't worry. The kids won't punch that hard. 22 00:01:06,599 --> 00:01:08,624 Is this why you called us over here? 23 00:01:08,735 --> 00:01:11,727 Course not. If I just wanted to see you scream like a little bitch... 24 00:01:11,838 --> 00:01:13,806 I'd make you sit through Pumpkinhead again. 25 00:01:13,907 --> 00:01:16,671 You're here because you need to give the boys a good Halloween. 26 00:01:16,776 --> 00:01:19,472 [Earl Narrating] Joy was talking about number 94 on my list- 27 00:01:19,579 --> 00:01:21,843 ruined Dodge and Earl Junior's Halloween. 28 00:01:21,948 --> 00:01:24,416 I thought you were taking the kids trick-or-treatin'. 29 00:01:24,517 --> 00:01:27,418 [Slurred] Oh, you wanted me to go with them? 30 00:01:27,520 --> 00:01:29,420 [Crowd Chanting] Fight, fight, fight, fight, fight... 31 00:01:29,522 --> 00:01:34,016 fight, fight, fight, fight, fight, fight, fight, fight, fight, fight, fight, fight- 32 00:01:34,127 --> 00:01:35,594 - Yeah! - Yeah! 33 00:01:35,695 --> 00:01:39,153 You need to throw a Halloween party for the boys and everybody else in this neighborhood... 34 00:01:39,265 --> 00:01:41,460 who spent all night looking for 'em, not to mention me. 35 00:01:41,568 --> 00:01:44,935 My hands were shakin' so bad, I could barely put my makeup on for the news crew. 36 00:01:45,038 --> 00:01:48,371 Fine. I'll throw a party. But you gotta admit, you loved it... 37 00:01:48,475 --> 00:01:51,035 when they let you drive the speedboat when they were draggin' the lake. 38 00:01:51,144 --> 00:01:54,307 I had that thing hummin'. 39 00:01:54,414 --> 00:01:56,974 My name is Earl. 40 00:01:59,319 --> 00:02:01,685 Hey, Darnell, Willie let me borrow his glass eye... 41 00:02:01,788 --> 00:02:03,688 for Dodge and EarlJunior's party. 42 00:02:03,790 --> 00:02:06,281 I thought we could float it in the witches'pot... 43 00:02:06,392 --> 00:02:09,054 but I can't find any of that spooky ice to go with it. 44 00:02:09,162 --> 00:02:12,859 We tried pouring hot water over regular ice, but you know what happened? 45 00:02:12,966 --> 00:02:15,400 - It melted? - You tried that too, huh? 46 00:02:15,502 --> 00:02:18,494 [Catalina Speaking Spanish] 47 00:02:20,607 --> 00:02:22,700 Who's that with Catalina? 48 00:02:22,809 --> 00:02:24,970 That's her nephew. Oscar. 49 00:02:25,078 --> 00:02:27,842 "Oh-scar"- Like Oscar, but with an "O." 50 00:02:27,947 --> 00:02:30,211 Her sister sent him to America for a vacation. 51 00:02:30,316 --> 00:02:32,876 He arrived yesterday. 52 00:02:37,824 --> 00:02:39,724 I swear I didn't order this. 53 00:02:39,826 --> 00:02:41,726 Wait. Are you a dishwasher? 54 00:02:41,828 --> 00:02:44,388 - No. - Yeah, we didn't order this. 55 00:02:44,497 --> 00:02:46,397 The really sad part is... 56 00:02:46,499 --> 00:02:49,297 the waybill said "bananas, magazines and little boy." 57 00:02:49,402 --> 00:02:52,200 I can't help but think someone at Customs wasn't doing their job. 58 00:02:52,305 --> 00:02:55,365 I wish I had a little brother. Thanks, Earl. 59 00:02:55,475 --> 00:02:59,206 Randy, you know it's on my list- cost Randy a little brother. 60 00:02:59,312 --> 00:03:02,145 - How'd you do that? - Dad made Mom get fixed... 61 00:03:02,248 --> 00:03:05,740 after he caught Earl playing a game of"Watch Randy in the washing machine." 62 00:03:05,852 --> 00:03:09,413 I swallowed a lot of bleach. That's why I can't taste salt. 63 00:03:09,522 --> 00:03:12,719 I put it on the gentle cycle. You never tell that part of the story. 64 00:03:12,825 --> 00:03:14,918 Well, if you're interested in getting a brother... 65 00:03:15,028 --> 00:03:17,588 you could try the local office of Big Bros, Little Bros. 66 00:03:17,697 --> 00:03:19,597 Oh, yeah. I've seen their sign. 67 00:03:19,699 --> 00:03:23,362 I always thought it was a hip-hop clothing store with a huge range of sizes. 68 00:03:23,469 --> 00:03:26,597 No, they match up needy young boys with older, mostly unmarried men... 69 00:03:26,706 --> 00:03:28,606 Iooking to take someone under their wing. 70 00:03:28,708 --> 00:03:31,541 Surprisingly enough, usually it works out just fine. 71 00:03:31,644 --> 00:03:34,636 [Earl Narrating] So me and Randy cleaned up, put on our Sunday clothes... 72 00:03:34,747 --> 00:03:36,806 and went down to Big Bros, Little Bros. 73 00:03:36,916 --> 00:03:39,316 So, tell me a little bit about yourself, Randy. 74 00:03:39,419 --> 00:03:42,616 Well, I'm 31 and I live in a motel. 75 00:03:42,722 --> 00:03:46,385 I have three pairs of pants and five shirts... 76 00:03:46,492 --> 00:03:50,121 and, uh, that pretty much sums me up, yeah. 77 00:03:50,230 --> 00:03:52,960 Oh, and this is my brother, Earl. We're very close. 78 00:03:53,066 --> 00:03:56,331 - We even sleep in the same bed. - B-But not in a weird way. 79 00:03:56,436 --> 00:03:58,768 Just in a "there's only one bed" way. 80 00:03:58,871 --> 00:04:00,839 [Randy] Yeah, and we sleep facin'out... 81 00:04:00,940 --> 00:04:04,000 so if anything touches, it's our butts and not our wieners. 82 00:04:05,845 --> 00:04:08,837 [Earl Narrating] Since there were way more little bros than big bros... 83 00:04:08,948 --> 00:04:11,246 the counselor tried to give Randy a shot. 84 00:04:11,351 --> 00:04:13,842 Ooh- Hah! 85 00:04:13,953 --> 00:04:18,754 You guys, this kid is a part of our hot potato game too. 86 00:04:20,560 --> 00:04:22,653 Now just because he's gonna be sittin' in this chair... 87 00:04:22,762 --> 00:04:24,662 for the rest of his natural life... 88 00:04:24,764 --> 00:04:27,028 with those bright white shoes that'll never get dirty... 89 00:04:27,133 --> 00:04:30,762 doesn't make him any different from me or you. 90 00:04:30,870 --> 00:04:33,236 Go ahead. Throw him the ball. 91 00:04:33,339 --> 00:04:37,105 - There you go. Way to include everyone. - [Boy] Yeah. 92 00:04:37,210 --> 00:04:41,977 - Now, who wants to play kickball? - [Boys Cheering] 93 00:04:42,081 --> 00:04:44,948 Wait for me. 94 00:04:45,051 --> 00:04:46,985 [Earl Narrating] I was startin'to have my doubts... 95 00:04:47,086 --> 00:04:48,986 about whether Randy would be a good Big Brother. 96 00:04:49,088 --> 00:04:51,921 Duck, duck, duck, duck- Goose. 97 00:04:52,025 --> 00:04:56,359 - You're still "it." - But the people at the program didn't have any doubts at all. 98 00:04:56,462 --> 00:04:58,692 They were sure. 99 00:04:58,931 --> 00:05:01,866 I was actually kind of relieved Randy didn't get accepted as a big brother... 100 00:05:01,968 --> 00:05:04,095 but I could never tell him that. 101 00:05:04,203 --> 00:05:07,195 They screwed up, man. They don't know what an awesome big brother is... 102 00:05:07,307 --> 00:05:09,207 because an awesome big brother is you. 103 00:05:09,309 --> 00:05:11,800 I don't know where I went wrong. 104 00:05:11,911 --> 00:05:15,312 You didn't, Randy. You were perfect. Those people are stupid. 105 00:05:15,415 --> 00:05:17,815 A little brother doesn't have to be a person. 106 00:05:17,917 --> 00:05:20,215 Maybe you could get a pet. 107 00:05:20,320 --> 00:05:23,084 W-W-Well, n-not a pet. Maybe a- a plant. 108 00:05:23,189 --> 00:05:26,090 I hate plants! Plants suck! 109 00:05:26,192 --> 00:05:28,888 I'm sorry, plants! I'm just mad! 110 00:05:28,995 --> 00:05:30,553 Earl, could you give me a hand? 111 00:05:30,663 --> 00:05:34,190 There's a customer at Club Chubby who thinks he's hilarious. 112 00:05:34,300 --> 00:05:36,894 None of the other strippers will help me get it off. 113 00:05:37,003 --> 00:05:39,164 They're just jealous 'cause they never get fives. 114 00:05:39,272 --> 00:05:43,470 Do they get little brothers? 'Cause then they should stop bitchin' and shut the hell up! 115 00:05:43,576 --> 00:05:46,272 I'm sorry, other strippers. I'm just mad! 116 00:05:46,379 --> 00:05:49,644 - What's wrong with him? - Randy wanted a little brother... 117 00:05:49,749 --> 00:05:53,344 but we couldn't find one, so now we've moved on to plants. 118 00:05:53,453 --> 00:05:56,513 What about Oscar? He could use a male influence in his life. 119 00:05:56,622 --> 00:05:59,420 When he was a baby, his dad left to join The Rebels. 120 00:05:59,525 --> 00:06:01,857 They're a very popular singing group in my country. 121 00:06:01,961 --> 00:06:04,293 Yeah, I've seen their tapes on sale at the car wash. 122 00:06:04,397 --> 00:06:06,797 - But- - He could really use a good male role model. 123 00:06:06,899 --> 00:06:11,029 Well, I'm no male model, but I'd be a darned good big brother. 124 00:06:11,137 --> 00:06:14,470 - What do you think, Earl? - Yeah. 125 00:06:14,574 --> 00:06:16,974 Oscar is, uh, definitely an option. 126 00:06:17,076 --> 00:06:19,670 We'll keep him in mind if it doesn't work out with the plant. 127 00:06:19,779 --> 00:06:21,770 No, I said I hated plants. 128 00:06:21,881 --> 00:06:25,282 Wait a minute. You don't think I can be a big brother, do you? 129 00:06:25,385 --> 00:06:28,411 [High-pitched Voice] No. No, no, no, no, Randy. 130 00:06:28,521 --> 00:06:30,455 Are you crazy? 131 00:06:30,556 --> 00:06:32,956 Of course I think you'd be a good big brother. 132 00:06:33,059 --> 00:06:37,655 - You're talkin' in the high-pitched lyin' voice. - No, I'm not. 133 00:06:37,764 --> 00:06:40,995 Then tell me in your normal voice you think I can do this. 134 00:06:41,100 --> 00:06:43,000 [High-pitched Voice] Randy, are you crazy? 135 00:06:43,102 --> 00:06:45,400 [Laughing, Babbling] 136 00:06:46,506 --> 00:06:49,270 I'll do it. 137 00:06:49,375 --> 00:06:51,605 [Earl Narrating] I was worried about Randy taking care of Oscar... 138 00:06:51,711 --> 00:06:54,111 but I had my hands full of important party business. 139 00:06:54,213 --> 00:06:58,479 How are they gonna play "Pin the Tail on the Mummy" if the first pin they stick in makes her pop? 140 00:06:58,584 --> 00:07:02,611 - That's not realistic. - Realistic? Mummies don't have tails. 141 00:07:02,722 --> 00:07:05,691 How do you know? Were you alive back then? Are you Brendan Fraser? 142 00:07:05,792 --> 00:07:08,192 Get me a mummy I can stick a damn pin in. 143 00:07:09,462 --> 00:07:13,193 Well, leave this one. I know two-ply when I see it. 144 00:07:13,299 --> 00:07:15,961 Darnell will be thrilled. 145 00:07:18,704 --> 00:07:21,172 - Hey, Earl. - How's it goin'? 146 00:07:21,274 --> 00:07:23,936 Well, Oscar lost a finger on the Ferris wheel. 147 00:07:24,043 --> 00:07:26,603 - Randy, what the- - I'm just kiddin'. 148 00:07:26,712 --> 00:07:30,944 He's fine, 'cause I'm a great big brother, no matter what you think. 149 00:07:31,050 --> 00:07:33,541 We got that bandage from a car wreck we passed. 150 00:07:33,653 --> 00:07:35,848 - I'm going to the rest room. - You gonna drop a dos? 151 00:07:47,633 --> 00:07:49,794 Randy- 152 00:07:49,902 --> 00:07:52,837 I saw it, Earl. I'll take care of it. 153 00:07:54,674 --> 00:07:56,972 [Earl Narrating] Randy waited for Oscar to finish his dos... 154 00:07:57,076 --> 00:08:00,477 then took him somewhere a little more private to have their talk. 155 00:08:07,286 --> 00:08:10,778 Oscar, Earl and me saw you steal those tips... 156 00:08:10,890 --> 00:08:12,790 and stealin's wrong. 157 00:08:12,892 --> 00:08:15,417 Now, I want you to go back there... 158 00:08:15,528 --> 00:08:17,655 return the money and apologize... 159 00:08:17,763 --> 00:08:19,731 and you'll feel better about yourself. 160 00:08:21,133 --> 00:08:25,126 Whew! Yeah, huge relief. 161 00:08:25,238 --> 00:08:27,900 That was a doozy, but we got through it, little bro. 162 00:08:28,007 --> 00:08:30,669 Now, how about we just head back to the Crab Shack and- 163 00:08:30,776 --> 00:08:33,108 - Don't tell me what to do. - What? 164 00:08:33,212 --> 00:08:37,376 [Speaking Foreign Language] 165 00:08:37,483 --> 00:08:40,213 - What are you doin'? - [Foreign Language] 166 00:08:40,319 --> 00:08:43,186 - [Shuddering] - [Oscar Chanting] 167 00:08:48,794 --> 00:08:50,921 Satan. 168 00:08:53,866 --> 00:08:55,834 [Exhales] 169 00:08:57,570 --> 00:08:59,504 Randy, check it out. 170 00:08:59,605 --> 00:09:02,403 Me and Magnum P.I. Made a sign for the El Camino. 171 00:09:02,508 --> 00:09:06,137 Pretty cool sign. If you don't want it shredded by Satan, I'd leave it out here. 172 00:09:06,245 --> 00:09:09,237 - What? - Oscar got upset about the stealin' thing... 173 00:09:09,348 --> 00:09:12,317 and now he's just a little bit completely possessed. 174 00:09:12,418 --> 00:09:16,286 Randy, calm down. He's probably just tryin' to get out of trouble for stealin'. 175 00:09:16,389 --> 00:09:19,085 Hey, Oscar, we need to- 176 00:09:22,161 --> 00:09:24,391 Come on out, Oscar. 177 00:09:24,497 --> 00:09:26,397 Actin' possessed doesn't scare me. 178 00:09:26,499 --> 00:09:28,990 I got a cousin with Tourette's who's really religious. 179 00:09:29,101 --> 00:09:31,001 It's very similar. 180 00:09:32,238 --> 00:09:35,833 - [Gasps] - Randy, it was just the wind. 181 00:09:35,942 --> 00:09:37,876 Come on, Oscar. 182 00:09:47,787 --> 00:09:50,312 - [Electricity Crackling] - [Water Dripping] 183 00:09:56,395 --> 00:09:58,920 Look, you're not gonna freak me out. 184 00:10:07,540 --> 00:10:09,474 [Voices Whispering] 185 00:10:14,780 --> 00:10:15,872 [Yells] 186 00:10:15,982 --> 00:10:18,348 - Holy Moses! - [Yelps] 187 00:10:21,487 --> 00:10:25,856 Oh, my God, Earl. Those are voodoo dolls of you and a fat guy with stains on his shirt. 188 00:10:28,394 --> 00:10:31,056 [Yells] 189 00:10:32,698 --> 00:10:34,598 Cute. 190 00:10:34,700 --> 00:10:37,294 Look, Oscar, you need to return the money you stole... 191 00:10:37,403 --> 00:10:39,303 and quit tryin' to freak me out. 192 00:10:39,405 --> 00:10:41,873 There's nothin' you can do that I haven't done be- 193 00:10:41,974 --> 00:10:44,704 Oh, God! Never did that. 194 00:10:45,811 --> 00:10:47,745 [Groans] 195 00:10:49,415 --> 00:10:51,906 - Hey, Catalina. - !Ay! 196 00:11:01,260 --> 00:11:03,091 I'll just be a minute. 197 00:11:05,665 --> 00:11:09,601 Catalina, we need to talk about your freaky little nephew. 198 00:11:09,702 --> 00:11:13,229 - Sorry, Nick. We'll be out in a second. - [Muffled] That's okay. 199 00:11:13,339 --> 00:11:16,069 - Oscar is a little cutie, isn't he? - He sucks. 200 00:11:16,175 --> 00:11:20,441 He's got Randy convinced he knows voodoo, and he blew dust in my eyes. It's still burning. 201 00:11:20,546 --> 00:11:23,640 You told him what to do, didn't you? He hates that. 202 00:11:23,749 --> 00:11:26,547 By the way, it wasn't dust. It's the ground bones of a graveyard sparrow. 203 00:11:26,652 --> 00:11:29,416 They say it blinds you to the dangers that lie ahead. 204 00:11:29,522 --> 00:11:31,581 It's also a great exfoliant. 205 00:11:31,691 --> 00:11:33,955 Look, I gotta go throw a party forJoy's kids. 206 00:11:34,060 --> 00:11:36,858 I don't have time for this. You need to take your freak back. 207 00:11:36,962 --> 00:11:39,396 - No. I'm his big brother. - You're not actin' like it. 208 00:11:39,498 --> 00:11:42,592 - You can't take care of him. - That's what you said about the goldfish. 209 00:11:42,702 --> 00:11:45,136 - You ate the goldfish. - You dared me. 210 00:11:45,237 --> 00:11:47,671 Oscar can't stay with me. Every time I tell him what to do... 211 00:11:47,773 --> 00:11:50,139 he channels my dead grandmother and she tells me what to do. 212 00:11:50,242 --> 00:11:52,938 - I can't live like that. - Well, then box him up and send him home. 213 00:11:53,045 --> 00:11:55,070 You said you'd take him, so he's yours. 214 00:11:55,181 --> 00:11:58,548 [Nick Groaning] 215 00:11:58,784 --> 00:12:01,651 [Earl Narrating] I didn't think a crazy little kid should be at the motel alone... 216 00:12:01,754 --> 00:12:04,951 and Randy didn't want to be left alone with a crazy little kid at the motel... 217 00:12:05,057 --> 00:12:06,957 so we all headed over toJoy's. 218 00:12:08,994 --> 00:12:10,894 Great decorations, Crabman. 219 00:12:10,996 --> 00:12:13,658 That dead body in the front of the trailer park looks real. 220 00:12:13,766 --> 00:12:16,792 - What dead body? - The one the kids are jumpin' on. 221 00:12:16,902 --> 00:12:18,597 I'll be right back. 222 00:12:21,006 --> 00:12:24,203 - Who are you supposed to be? - Barbie. Can't you tell? 223 00:12:24,310 --> 00:12:26,437 Taped my nipples down so my boobies are smooth. 224 00:12:27,713 --> 00:12:29,840 Hey! It ain't goody bag time. 225 00:12:29,949 --> 00:12:32,110 Don't tell me what to do. 226 00:12:32,218 --> 00:12:35,187 Look, maybe kids talk back from Guatelatucky or wherever you're from... 227 00:12:35,287 --> 00:12:38,848 but you must be el pollo loco if you think you can sass me like that. 228 00:12:38,958 --> 00:12:40,926 [Speaking Foreign Language] 229 00:12:43,295 --> 00:12:45,525 Uh-oh. Earl- 230 00:12:45,631 --> 00:12:47,496 - Earl! - What the hell? 231 00:12:47,600 --> 00:12:49,431 Ow! 232 00:12:49,535 --> 00:12:52,197 Oh, my God. I've seen this before. 233 00:12:52,304 --> 00:12:55,171 He's doin' voodoo. He's evil. 234 00:12:55,274 --> 00:12:57,174 He's evil! He's evil! 235 00:12:57,276 --> 00:12:59,870 [Earl Narrating]Joy had seen these signs before with her babysitter. 236 00:12:59,979 --> 00:13:03,039 [Chanting Foreign Language] 237 00:13:18,230 --> 00:13:21,097 - What the hell? - Never again, child... 238 00:13:21,200 --> 00:13:24,499 will you steal cigarettes out of my pocketbook. 239 00:13:24,603 --> 00:13:26,901 You are cursed. 240 00:13:27,006 --> 00:13:30,908 You will become pregnant before you are married. 241 00:13:33,913 --> 00:13:36,040 Oh, snap. 242 00:13:37,082 --> 00:13:39,016 He's full of voodoo. 243 00:13:39,118 --> 00:13:41,586 You get him outta here before it starts rainin' blood... 244 00:13:41,687 --> 00:13:44,679 - or he forces us to eat jerk chicken. - Joy, he's just a kid. 245 00:13:44,790 --> 00:13:48,453 As was The Omen, Exorcist, and all them Children of the Corn. 246 00:13:48,561 --> 00:13:50,495 The devil likes 'em young. 247 00:13:50,596 --> 00:13:53,156 Probably gets in through that soft spot on their skull. 248 00:13:53,265 --> 00:13:55,358 Come on, Oscar. Let's go. 249 00:13:59,738 --> 00:14:01,831 And you can forget crossin' the boys off your list. 250 00:14:01,941 --> 00:14:03,841 Your freak child ruined the party. 251 00:14:03,943 --> 00:14:06,878 I'll see you Halloween '09, dummy! 252 00:14:06,979 --> 00:14:10,642 - Drop it, Earl. - No, I'm not gonna drop it, Randy. 253 00:14:10,749 --> 00:14:13,479 He's messin' with people's heads with all that fake voodoo... 254 00:14:13,586 --> 00:14:15,520 and now he's messin' with my list. 255 00:14:15,621 --> 00:14:19,216 Because of him, I can't cross off Joy's kids until next Halloween. 256 00:14:19,325 --> 00:14:21,384 Karma's not gonna like that. 257 00:14:21,493 --> 00:14:23,961 How come when you talk about voodoo it's always fake... 258 00:14:24,063 --> 00:14:27,624 but then you run around scared of this silly made-up magic you call karma? 259 00:14:27,733 --> 00:14:30,065 'Cause karma's real. I've seen it work. 260 00:14:30,169 --> 00:14:32,797 I haven't seen proof that voodoo can do anything. 261 00:14:37,710 --> 00:14:40,042 Earl, Earl, Earl. That's the Randy doll. 262 00:14:40,145 --> 00:14:42,306 - He's got a Randy doll. - It's just a doll, Randy. 263 00:14:42,414 --> 00:14:44,712 [Speaking Foreign Language] 264 00:14:46,819 --> 00:14:50,380 - What's he doin'? I don't like it. I don't like it! - Nothin' gonna happen. It's fake. 265 00:14:50,489 --> 00:14:52,548 Nothin's happenin', Oscar. Give it up. 266 00:14:52,658 --> 00:14:56,424 I'm putting a curse on your brother that'll make him scared, nervous and uneasy. 267 00:14:56,528 --> 00:14:58,428 My God, it's workin'! 268 00:14:58,530 --> 00:15:01,897 - I am scared, nervous and uneasy. - Randy, it's not voodoo. 269 00:15:02,001 --> 00:15:05,164 It's just power of suggestion. He's messin' with your mind. 270 00:15:05,271 --> 00:15:08,934 Then it shouldn't matter if I do this. [Kissing Sounds] 271 00:15:09,041 --> 00:15:11,669 Oh, God! Voodoo's makin' us gay! 272 00:15:11,777 --> 00:15:14,610 You better kiss, or I'll make these dolls do something worse. 273 00:15:14,713 --> 00:15:18,274 Put your tongue in my mouth, Earl. I don't want to do somethin' worse! 274 00:15:18,384 --> 00:15:20,818 Randy, he's just messin' with your mind. It's not real. 275 00:15:20,920 --> 00:15:22,820 Then how come I'm tryin' to kiss you? 276 00:15:22,922 --> 00:15:25,083 - [Grunts] - I would love to have a leisurely conversation with you... 277 00:15:25,190 --> 00:15:27,158 where I say, "Hey, Earl" and you say, "Hey, Crabman"... 278 00:15:27,259 --> 00:15:29,659 and we go on from there, but there's no time for that. 279 00:15:29,762 --> 00:15:31,753 - You all gotta get out of here. - Why? 280 00:15:31,864 --> 00:15:34,833 Joy's worried about what Randy's young protege's gonna do with that hair he yanked off her... 281 00:15:34,934 --> 00:15:37,164 so she's formed a witch-hunt posse, and they're headed this way. 282 00:15:39,238 --> 00:15:41,672 [Earl Narrating] Since the mob was on their way to the motel... 283 00:15:41,774 --> 00:15:43,674 we doubled back to buy some time. 284 00:15:43,776 --> 00:15:47,212 Also, Darnell had some stuff in the trailer to help us get away. 285 00:15:51,083 --> 00:15:53,813 Why do you already have fake passports with our pictures on 'em? 286 00:15:53,919 --> 00:15:58,015 I was trained to think three steps ahead. I saw this comin' last December. 287 00:15:58,123 --> 00:15:59,715 What do these pills do? 288 00:15:59,825 --> 00:16:01,622 They're cyanide. They'll kill you in 30 seconds. 289 00:16:01,727 --> 00:16:03,627 [Spits] What? 290 00:16:03,729 --> 00:16:06,789 Just kidding, buddy. I saw you take yours. It's a multi-vitamin. 291 00:16:06,899 --> 00:16:09,697 It's important to keep your immune system up when you're on the run. 292 00:16:09,802 --> 00:16:12,703 [People Shouting] 293 00:16:15,107 --> 00:16:17,803 [Clamoring] 294 00:16:17,910 --> 00:16:21,346 Crap. Someone at the motel must've tipped 'em off. 295 00:16:26,819 --> 00:16:28,719 Earl and Randy are your friends. 296 00:16:28,821 --> 00:16:33,087 And that little boy hasn't hurt anyone. Now let them go in peace. 297 00:16:33,192 --> 00:16:36,389 That little voodoo-rican freak cast a spell on my husband! 298 00:16:36,495 --> 00:16:38,486 [Shouting] 299 00:16:40,366 --> 00:16:42,800 Sorry, baby, but it's for your own good. 300 00:16:42,901 --> 00:16:46,200 Reverend, sprinkle some of that holy water on him. 301 00:16:46,305 --> 00:16:48,273 Keep it off his hair. You know black people. 302 00:16:48,374 --> 00:16:51,400 It gets all crazy when it gets wet. 303 00:16:51,510 --> 00:16:55,002 We're screwed- unless we give 'em Oscar. 304 00:16:55,114 --> 00:16:57,082 [Earl Narrating] Oscar was in a bad spot... 305 00:16:57,182 --> 00:16:59,616 and for the first time, he really needed a big brother. 306 00:16:59,718 --> 00:17:01,879 We're not given' 'em Oscar. 307 00:17:01,987 --> 00:17:05,115 - Look at 'em, Randy. - We're not sending him out there. 308 00:17:05,224 --> 00:17:09,126 Don't worry, buddy. Everything's gonna be all right. 309 00:17:09,228 --> 00:17:13,494 Oscar's my little brother, and I'm gonna stand by him the way a big brother's supposed to... 310 00:17:13,599 --> 00:17:15,533 the way you always have for me. 311 00:17:15,634 --> 00:17:19,536 Besides, you know I've always wanted to fight 30 people at once. 312 00:17:22,007 --> 00:17:25,568 [Yelling] 313 00:17:28,981 --> 00:17:32,576 You got one hell of a big brother, kid. 314 00:17:32,684 --> 00:17:35,118 [Earl Narrating] And as long as people were defending their little brothers- 315 00:17:35,220 --> 00:17:37,984 Come on, you punks! Give me your best- 316 00:17:42,528 --> 00:17:45,497 It was a fairly one-sided fight. By that, I mean... 317 00:17:45,597 --> 00:17:49,897 they stuck mostly to stompin'the left side of my head and the left side of my rib cage. 318 00:17:50,002 --> 00:17:52,732 Being tempted by his lies 319 00:17:52,838 --> 00:17:55,966 He's rage 320 00:17:56,075 --> 00:17:59,135 Remember, Reverend, if this goes bad, I'll be your alibi, you be mine. 321 00:17:59,244 --> 00:18:01,144 We were at the "liberry." 322 00:18:01,246 --> 00:18:03,146 [Earl Narrating] Didn't look good. 323 00:18:03,248 --> 00:18:07,514 Me and Randy were stuck, and there was nothin'left to stopJoy and her angry mob. 324 00:18:07,619 --> 00:18:09,553 Then I saw it. 325 00:18:09,655 --> 00:18:11,623 - - [Groaning] 326 00:18:11,723 --> 00:18:13,623 By standing up for Oscar... 327 00:18:13,725 --> 00:18:16,523 Randy had finally gotten to feel what it's like to be a big brother. 328 00:18:16,628 --> 00:18:20,428 If I crossed him off the list, maybe karma would save us. 329 00:18:22,401 --> 00:18:25,336 - - 330 00:18:25,437 --> 00:18:28,770 Oh, my God. He made a doll of me, and she's got no boobies. 331 00:18:28,874 --> 00:18:30,637 [People Gasp] 332 00:18:30,742 --> 00:18:33,210 Please don't stab my doll. Don't kill me. 333 00:18:33,312 --> 00:18:36,145 Kill him. If he dies, he knows where he's goin'. 334 00:18:36,248 --> 00:18:39,046 I'm not gonna kill anyone. The knife is to cut the pumpkin pie... 335 00:18:39,151 --> 00:18:42,518 for the Halloween party your dolls are having. 336 00:18:42,621 --> 00:18:44,816 I just want you to stop hurting my big brother... 337 00:18:44,923 --> 00:18:47,391 and I want everyone to be happy. 338 00:18:47,493 --> 00:18:49,393 [Earl Narrating] Karma's a powerful thing. 339 00:18:49,495 --> 00:18:53,226 Apparently seeing the good in me and Randy made Oscar want to be good too. 340 00:18:53,332 --> 00:18:58,133 And lucky for Oscar, the power of suggestion is also a powerful thing. 341 00:19:01,707 --> 00:19:03,572 [Laughing, Chattering] 342 00:19:03,675 --> 00:19:06,473 People must've liked seein'themselves havin'fun at that doll party... 343 00:19:06,578 --> 00:19:10,446 because before you knew it, that was exactly what was happening. 344 00:19:10,549 --> 00:19:13,017 Turns out I wasn't gonna have to wait until next year... 345 00:19:13,118 --> 00:19:15,450 to cross off Dodge and Earl Junior after all. 346 00:19:15,554 --> 00:19:17,886 This is the best Halloween ever- 347 00:19:17,990 --> 00:19:20,925 even if I can never straighten my arm again. 348 00:19:21,026 --> 00:19:23,756 I'm gonna go ask Big Joe to give it a pull. 349 00:19:23,862 --> 00:19:26,524 Well, karma got us out of that one, huh? 350 00:19:26,632 --> 00:19:29,465 - What? - My list item. I crossed it off in time... 351 00:19:29,568 --> 00:19:32,901 and karma made you stop freakin' everybody out with your fake voodoo. 352 00:19:33,005 --> 00:19:37,032 I didn't stop doing voodoo. I saved you guys with voodoo. You would've gotten killed... 353 00:19:37,142 --> 00:19:40,578 if I didn't put a party spell on these idiots to keep them from hurting you. 354 00:19:40,679 --> 00:19:43,580 Party spell? Come on, you made their dolls have a party... 355 00:19:43,682 --> 00:19:45,650 'cause karma wanted you to do somethin' good. 356 00:19:45,751 --> 00:19:49,209 If you wanted to help us with voodoo, you would've stuck pins in their dolls. 357 00:19:49,321 --> 00:19:51,915 I couldn't find any pins. 358 00:19:52,024 --> 00:19:57,656 Yeah? Well, maybe karma didn't want you to find any pins. 359 00:19:57,763 --> 00:19:59,924 [Earl Narrating] Seein'everyone finally gettin'along... 360 00:20:00,032 --> 00:20:02,227 I started to realize that it didn't matter. 361 00:20:02,334 --> 00:20:04,894 Call it karma, call it voodoo- 362 00:20:05,003 --> 00:20:06,903 Whatever works for you works... 363 00:20:07,005 --> 00:20:09,473 and there was no use arguin'about it anymore. 364 00:20:09,575 --> 00:20:11,975 - Yeah. - a Chinese menu in his hand 365 00:20:12,077 --> 00:20:15,137 Good thing me and the minister scared the devil outta that little freak. 366 00:20:15,247 --> 00:20:17,147 Reverend Hollingsworth thinks I've got great leadership skills. 367 00:20:17,249 --> 00:20:19,740 Says that God wants me to run for mayor. 368 00:20:19,851 --> 00:20:22,820 - Good for you. - 369 00:20:22,921 --> 00:20:25,253 [Earl Narrating] Like I said, there was no point arguing. 370 00:20:25,357 --> 00:20:29,760 Werewolves of London 371 00:20:29,861 --> 00:20:32,386