1 00:00:01,974 --> 00:00:04,383 C'mon Cyril, beat it, get outta here. 2 00:00:04,385 --> 00:00:07,067 This meeting's for field agents only. 3 00:00:07,069 --> 00:00:09,031 Which brings me to item one. 4 00:00:09,033 --> 00:00:13,421 We don't have enough field agents to effectively run our covert operations. 5 00:00:13,423 --> 00:00:16,612 Especially since this one went and got himself paralyzed. 6 00:00:16,614 --> 00:00:18,642 Yeah that's me, Mr. Selfish. 7 00:00:18,644 --> 00:00:19,742 More like Ms. 8 00:00:19,744 --> 00:00:23,809 Anyway, effective immediately, I'm promoting Cyril to field agent. 9 00:00:23,811 --> 00:00:24,340 What?! 10 00:00:24,342 --> 00:00:24,908 Do what?! 11 00:00:24,910 --> 00:00:26,539 Hey, that sounds great, best of luck. 12 00:00:26,541 --> 00:00:28,236 Where do you think you're going? 13 00:00:28,238 --> 00:00:30,702 Oh, sorry, I gotta get back to Earth before the Stargate closes. 14 00:00:30,704 --> 00:00:31,700 Get back in here! 15 00:00:31,702 --> 00:00:33,932 Mother the chevrons are locking! 16 00:00:33,934 --> 00:00:38,565 And Cyril is utterly, laughably unqualified to be a field agent! 17 00:00:38,567 --> 00:00:39,464 Some offense. 18 00:00:39,466 --> 00:00:40,397 Some taken. 19 00:00:40,399 --> 00:00:42,962 Well, none of you were qualified when you first started. 20 00:00:42,964 --> 00:00:46,661 And you've already given Cyril some training... Which ended with a dead 21 00:00:46,663 --> 00:00:47,894 hooker in my trunk! 22 00:00:47,896 --> 00:00:48,793 No it didn't! 23 00:00:48,795 --> 00:00:49,926 It easily could have! 24 00:00:49,928 --> 00:00:53,291 Malory, you can't just -- End! Of discussion. 25 00:00:53,293 --> 00:00:56,657 And since this meeting is for field agents only... 26 00:00:56,659 --> 00:00:58,856 You're taking me out of the field?! 27 00:00:58,858 --> 00:01:01,989 Well, unless we need someone to go undercover as a shopping cart. 28 00:01:01,991 --> 00:01:05,423 [annoyed sigh] 29 00:01:05,425 --> 00:01:09,824 This is Roma�n Calzado, the notorious Colombian drug lord. 30 00:01:09,826 --> 00:01:13,358 And hopefully an infusion of much-needed capital. 31 00:01:13,360 --> 00:01:15,159 Since when are we bounty hunters? 32 00:01:15,161 --> 00:01:17,994 Since the DEA's budget was gutted by all those federal 33 00:01:17,996 --> 00:01:19,194 spending cutbacks. 34 00:01:19,196 --> 00:01:21,795 Which is ridiculous, given the current economy. 35 00:01:21,797 --> 00:01:24,529 The most efficient way to decrease the budget deficit is 36 00:01:24,531 --> 00:01:28,897 to increase tax revenue, through, um... Cyril don't make me 37 00:01:28,899 --> 00:01:30,363 regret this decision. 38 00:01:30,365 --> 00:01:30,963 Sorry. 39 00:01:30,965 --> 00:01:33,064 And if you were in my tax bracket you wouldn't be 40 00:01:33,066 --> 00:01:35,097 spouting that socialist propaganda. 41 00:01:35,099 --> 00:01:36,798 Or wearing such shitty clothes. 44 00:01:40,134 --> 00:01:41,633 The reward is a million dollars! 45 00:01:41,635 --> 00:01:45,169 Exactly, and how many drug users could be treated with that money? 46 00:01:45,171 --> 00:01:46,169 Who cares?! 47 00:01:46,171 --> 00:01:47,103 Seriously?! 48 00:01:47,105 --> 00:01:50,004 Lana, they'd just go buy a million dollars worth of crack with it. 49 00:01:50,006 --> 00:01:52,173 You don't give them the money. 50 00:01:52,175 --> 00:01:53,640 You can't, they'll blow it on crack. 51 00:01:53,642 --> 00:01:56,741 Oh my God. No they won't, because it'll in the ISIS bank 52 00:01:56,743 --> 00:01:57,275 account. 53 00:01:57,277 --> 00:02:00,543 Because you're going to get Calzado, dead or alive. 54 00:02:00,545 --> 00:02:04,380 And Cyril, dress appropriately, you'll be helicoptering into the jungle. 55 00:02:04,382 --> 00:02:08,849 Coool... Oh, and this whole thing reminds me... 56 00:02:08,851 --> 00:02:14,319 Pam? Nine AM Friday morning, all ISIS employees will take a drug test. 57 00:02:14,321 --> 00:02:17,756 Nkay. 58 00:02:17,758 --> 00:02:22,392 And knock off that damn beatboxing! 59 00:02:22,394 --> 00:02:23,459 Ugh. 60 00:02:23,461 --> 00:02:26,089 Last week it was freestyling. 61 00:03:00,661 --> 00:03:02,228 Yes, this LZ! 62 00:03:02,230 --> 00:03:03,262 You dumbass! 63 00:03:03,264 --> 00:03:05,131 Where we are right now! 64 00:03:05,133 --> 00:03:06,966 In twenty four hours! 65 00:03:06,968 --> 00:03:10,971 And you better be here! 66 00:03:10,973 --> 00:03:11,471 What a dick. 67 00:03:11,473 --> 00:03:14,342 Well he's probably just under a lot of stress. 68 00:03:14,344 --> 00:03:18,246 Since he's our only way out of th stupid jungle! Dumbass! 69 00:03:18,248 --> 00:03:21,048 Seriously... Thanks, ghost of Teddy Roosevelt. 70 00:03:21,050 --> 00:03:23,250 Ms. Archer said dress for the tropics! 71 00:03:23,252 --> 00:03:25,619 Tropics or Busch Gardens? 72 00:03:25,621 --> 00:03:26,720 Hey, ya know what?! 73 00:03:26,722 --> 00:03:27,488 Yes. 74 00:03:27,490 --> 00:03:28,455 Heckle? 75 00:03:28,457 --> 00:03:28,856 Jeckle? 76 00:03:28,858 --> 00:03:30,957 Between us and Calzado's fortified compound there's about 77 00:03:30,959 --> 00:03:34,761 ten clicks of jungle that I just assume is one giant booby-trap showroom. 78 00:03:34,763 --> 00:03:38,831 So shut your dickholes, get your gear, shut up again, and start walking. 79 00:03:38,833 --> 00:03:42,368 Any questions? 80 00:03:42,370 --> 00:03:43,970 Cyril. 81 00:03:43,972 --> 00:03:45,605 What's a click. 82 00:03:45,607 --> 00:03:47,473 Yeah you say that all the time and I never know what 83 00:03:47,475 --> 00:03:48,441 you're talking about. 84 00:03:48,443 --> 00:03:50,676 I'm assuming it's a sound of some sort? 85 00:03:50,678 --> 00:03:51,877 Nuh-uhh! 86 00:03:51,879 --> 00:03:54,580 Swear to God, first thing Friday morning we all gotta pee in a cup - 87 00:03:54,582 --> 00:03:58,551 Which I can't even do... y'all Cleaning out my freezer 88 00:03:58,553 --> 00:04:00,819 last week, found a big bag of skank. 89 00:04:00,821 --> 00:04:03,956 I guess I brought it back from Jamaica, but -- But it's 90 00:04:03,958 --> 00:04:05,258 just a pot test, right?! 91 00:04:05,260 --> 00:04:06,326 No, stupid. 92 00:04:06,328 --> 00:04:07,427 All drugs. 93 00:04:07,429 --> 00:04:09,295 Oh shit. 94 00:04:09,297 --> 00:04:10,430 I call 'em grooving bears. 95 00:04:10,432 --> 00:04:11,798 How bout you, Ironsides? 96 00:04:11,800 --> 00:04:12,899 You rollin dirty? 97 00:04:12,901 --> 00:04:18,204 Umm... Possibly. 98 00:04:18,206 --> 00:04:19,806 Well then we're all screwed. 99 00:04:19,808 --> 00:04:21,775 Talking about the drug test, huh? 100 00:04:21,777 --> 00:04:22,342 Duh. 101 00:04:22,344 --> 00:04:26,046 Well -- What if I told you I had a way to beat any drug 102 00:04:26,048 --> 00:04:27,915 test in the world. 103 00:04:27,917 --> 00:04:30,284 Are you telling us that? 104 00:04:30,286 --> 00:04:30,985 Yes. 105 00:04:30,987 --> 00:04:31,819 Well? 106 00:04:31,821 --> 00:04:32,386 What is it?! 107 00:04:32,388 --> 00:04:33,954 I call it... Krieger-Kleanse. 108 00:04:33,956 --> 00:04:36,923 It's an herbal tea, all-natural, and it's guaranteed to rid your 109 00:04:36,925 --> 00:04:40,093 body of all traces of any illicit substance. 110 00:04:40,095 --> 00:04:42,162 Well here, gimme gimme give it! 111 00:04:42,164 --> 00:04:42,762 Ah ah ahh! 112 00:04:42,764 --> 00:04:47,401 I literal - figuratively scoured the globe for these special herbs, 113 00:04:47,403 --> 00:04:49,537 at no small expense to myself. 114 00:04:49,539 --> 00:04:51,339 Ugh. How much. 115 00:04:51,341 --> 00:04:52,373 Hundred bucks each. 116 00:04:52,375 --> 00:04:54,008 [ Complaining ] 117 00:04:54,010 --> 00:04:56,378 Or you can save your money, and try your luck in the 118 00:04:56,380 --> 00:05:00,281 current job market. 119 00:05:00,283 --> 00:05:02,183 Non-sequential bills, please. 120 00:05:02,185 --> 00:05:04,318 Well then why not just say kilometer? 121 00:05:04,320 --> 00:05:05,686 Because shut up. 122 00:05:05,688 --> 00:05:07,788 Jungle ziiing... So it says here that 123 00:05:07,790 --> 00:05:10,657 Calzado isn't even the head of the whole operation... Cyril. 124 00:05:10,659 --> 00:05:13,960 He's actually just a distributor for somebody named La Sombra. 125 00:05:13,962 --> 00:05:15,962 The Shade? 126 00:05:15,964 --> 00:05:16,963 Cyril. 127 00:05:16,965 --> 00:05:19,165 No, I bet in this context, The Shadow. 128 00:05:19,167 --> 00:05:20,266 Cyril. 129 00:05:20,268 --> 00:05:20,800 Oof. 130 00:05:20,802 --> 00:05:21,734 Hey, what's your problem? 131 00:05:21,736 --> 00:05:23,970 My problem is I don't want a thousand of steel balls 132 00:05:23,972 --> 00:05:25,138 to shred my genitals. 133 00:05:25,140 --> 00:05:25,739 Huh? 134 00:05:25,741 --> 00:05:26,473 Claymore mine. 135 00:05:26,475 --> 00:05:30,110 Full of steel balls that fly a thousand meters - or one click - 136 00:05:30,112 --> 00:05:32,046 a second, right at dick level. 137 00:05:32,048 --> 00:05:35,550 Jeezy petes... Or ass level, which in your case would also 138 00:05:35,552 --> 00:05:36,585 take off your head. 139 00:05:36,587 --> 00:05:38,954 So quit reading and pay attention. 140 00:05:38,956 --> 00:05:41,957 But there's a lot of useful stuff in here, organizational charts, 141 00:05:41,959 --> 00:05:45,326 inventory and cash-flow analyses... spreadsheets? 142 00:05:45,328 --> 00:05:48,029 Of what, possible outcomes with a twenty-sided die? 143 00:05:48,031 --> 00:05:49,997 Well you don't need a spreadsheet for that... 144 00:05:49,999 --> 00:05:51,999 Yeah and you don't need one to know you're gonna suck at 145 00:05:52,001 --> 00:05:53,300 being a field agent Cyril. 146 00:05:53,302 --> 00:05:54,868 So why do you wanna be one? 147 00:05:54,870 --> 00:05:59,306 I dunno, I just wanna feel like I'm a part of the team, ya know? 148 00:05:59,308 --> 00:06:01,942 I guess I wanna... feel like I matter more. 149 00:06:01,944 --> 00:06:05,378 Wow, not afraid to dump out your purse in the jungle, huh? 150 00:06:05,380 --> 00:06:07,280 Okay Cyril, then lesson One-A. 151 00:06:07,282 --> 00:06:11,318 In a potentially hostile environment, like this, the key is total situational 152 00:06:11,320 --> 00:06:12,485 awareness. 153 00:06:12,487 --> 00:06:14,921 Okay... You look, you listen, you smell. 154 00:06:14,923 --> 00:06:16,656 And you remember to check your six. 155 00:06:16,658 --> 00:06:17,723 My six what. 156 00:06:17,725 --> 00:06:18,858 Is that my gun? 157 00:06:18,860 --> 00:06:19,859 The old six shooter. 158 00:06:19,861 --> 00:06:22,762 Oh my God, a clock Cyril, It means behind you. 159 00:06:22,764 --> 00:06:25,899 Because the last thing you want is -- Uh Lana, hold up a sec? 160 00:06:25,901 --> 00:06:29,502 Archer we don't have a -- Cyril? 161 00:06:29,504 --> 00:06:31,104 Yeah, that's why I said hold up. 162 00:06:31,106 --> 00:06:31,604 Archer! 163 00:06:31,606 --> 00:06:34,540 Don't yell at me, I looked away for literally literally one second! 164 00:06:34,542 --> 00:06:35,941 Well where the hell did he go?! 165 00:06:35,943 --> 00:06:43,182 I dunno, it's like... he just... You're looking for 166 00:06:43,184 --> 00:06:45,686 Predator, aren't you? 167 00:06:45,688 --> 00:06:46,853 Yes. 168 00:06:46,855 --> 00:06:47,654 Couple things. 169 00:06:47,656 --> 00:06:51,191 A, he's invisible -- Not totally, he has a telltale shimmer. 170 00:06:51,193 --> 00:06:51,725 Ow! 171 00:06:51,727 --> 00:06:53,894 And B, lower your frickin voice. 172 00:06:53,896 --> 00:06:54,628 MAN: ��Oye!! 173 00:06:54,630 --> 00:06:56,063 Manos arriba! 174 00:06:56,065 --> 00:06:56,864 Is that Cyril? 175 00:06:56,866 --> 00:06:57,765 MAN: �Quien es?! 176 00:06:57,767 --> 00:07:00,268 No, it's not whimpery enough. 177 00:07:00,270 --> 00:07:03,071 Cyril! Cyril! 178 00:07:03,073 --> 00:07:03,938 God damn it. 179 00:07:03,940 --> 00:07:06,274 Well, look on the bright side. 180 00:07:06,276 --> 00:07:08,009 Which is? 181 00:07:08,011 --> 00:07:08,643 Which is what? 182 00:07:08,645 --> 00:07:10,111 What's the bright side?! 183 00:07:10,113 --> 00:07:10,878 Oh. 184 00:07:10,880 --> 00:07:13,614 That's a figure of speech. 185 00:07:15,906 --> 00:07:19,843 All I'm saying is there are a million green rectangularly reasons to 186 00:07:19,845 --> 00:07:22,146 complete the mission, and zero reasons not to. 187 00:07:22,148 --> 00:07:23,847 You mean besides Cyril getting captured. 188 00:07:23,849 --> 00:07:24,948 Yeah! Besides that. 189 00:07:24,950 --> 00:07:28,552 And if Calzado's men got Cyril, we'll rescue him when we get Calzado. 190 00:07:28,554 --> 00:07:31,488 Problemo solvedo. What if it was F.A.R.K. 191 00:07:31,490 --> 00:07:32,222 or V.E.L.N. 192 00:07:32,224 --> 00:07:35,391 Then we'll use some of the million dollar reward to pay his ransom. 193 00:07:35,393 --> 00:07:39,462 So shut up, Cyril's going to be fine. 194 00:07:39,464 --> 00:07:40,363 Unless a tiger ate him. 195 00:07:40,365 --> 00:07:42,532 Tigers don't live in South America. 196 00:07:42,534 --> 00:07:45,868 Well at least one does because I just heard its spine-tingling roar. 197 00:07:45,870 --> 00:07:47,370 That was a jaguar, dumbass. 198 00:07:47,372 --> 00:07:49,271 Thanks, Marlon Perkins. 199 00:07:49,273 --> 00:07:54,209 I think I know a tiger when I hear one. 200 00:07:54,211 --> 00:07:58,380 Every time, your big fat mouth get's us caught, every time. 201 00:07:58,382 --> 00:08:02,550 Not every time, like a third of the time. 202 00:08:02,552 --> 00:08:06,787 And a thousand bucks that's a tiger Lana. 203 00:08:06,789 --> 00:08:09,022 If this doesn't work we just paid a hundred 204 00:08:09,024 --> 00:08:10,390 bucks for liquid fart. 205 00:08:10,392 --> 00:08:14,962 Yeah, well here's shit in your eye. 206 00:08:14,964 --> 00:08:17,565 Oh god, it tastes worse than it smells. 207 00:08:17,567 --> 00:08:22,104 Man, if I had a nickel for every time I heard a guy said that, 208 00:08:22,106 --> 00:08:24,006 I'd have eight nickels. 209 00:08:24,008 --> 00:08:26,709 Archer, I swear to God if you don't shut up. 210 00:08:26,711 --> 00:08:30,313 I'm just saying if it comes down to that, and I hope it doesn't, 211 00:08:30,315 --> 00:08:33,316 there's no sense in us both getting raped. 212 00:08:33,318 --> 00:08:38,154 Fernando, our special guests must not be injured in any way. 213 00:08:38,156 --> 00:08:40,223 Uh, does that include rape related injuries? 214 00:08:40,225 --> 00:08:40,924 Of course. 215 00:08:40,926 --> 00:08:42,525 No one is going to rape you. 216 00:08:42,527 --> 00:08:43,726 What is wrong with you? 217 00:08:43,728 --> 00:08:44,394 We're scared. 218 00:08:44,396 --> 00:08:46,495 We're just tourists, see, and our car broke down. 219 00:08:46,497 --> 00:08:51,133 So the assault weapons and plastic explosives, why do you have these? 220 00:08:51,135 --> 00:08:52,735 O.: yes, let me explain. 221 00:08:52,737 --> 00:08:54,804 Busted, we're arms dealers. 222 00:08:54,806 --> 00:08:57,841 No, I think not. 223 00:08:57,843 --> 00:09:00,110 I Think you are hunting Roma�n Calzado. 224 00:09:00,112 --> 00:09:02,179 In the hopes of a million dollar reward. 225 00:09:02,181 --> 00:09:04,248 O.K. yes, busted again. 226 00:09:04,250 --> 00:09:07,052 But I think now we're kinda rethinking that. 227 00:09:07,054 --> 00:09:09,955 So, if I give you two million, will you go away 228 00:09:09,957 --> 00:09:11,156 and say you never found me? 229 00:09:11,158 --> 00:09:13,425 I -- Oh my God, totally yes. 230 00:09:13,427 --> 00:09:15,694 Then we give mother a million and you and I can 231 00:09:15,696 --> 00:09:17,262 split the other million. 232 00:09:17,264 --> 00:09:19,531 Calzado, you've got yourself a deal. 233 00:09:19,533 --> 00:09:20,398 Excellent. 234 00:09:20,400 --> 00:09:22,367 But of course I was joking. 235 00:09:22,369 --> 00:09:24,469 Obviously I can not allow you to live. 236 00:09:24,471 --> 00:09:25,537 No, yes you can. 237 00:09:25,539 --> 00:09:29,640 Or choose not to, whatever, besides, throwing money away like that 238 00:09:29,642 --> 00:09:31,042 would not please el contador. 239 00:09:31,044 --> 00:09:32,776 El contador, doesn't that mean. 240 00:09:32,778 --> 00:09:35,279 The accountant, si. 241 00:09:35,281 --> 00:09:36,648 Cyril?! 242 00:09:36,650 --> 00:09:38,450 Que? 243 00:09:38,452 --> 00:09:40,452 No he said cereal. 244 00:09:40,454 --> 00:09:41,220 Que? 245 00:09:41,222 --> 00:09:43,222 Cerealas. 246 00:09:43,224 --> 00:09:45,525 El quiere desayuno. 247 00:09:45,527 --> 00:09:53,134 And people in hell want ice water. 248 00:09:53,136 --> 00:09:54,335 Oye. 249 00:09:54,337 --> 00:09:59,373 Pardon. 250 00:09:59,375 --> 00:10:00,307 Oh my God! 251 00:10:00,309 --> 00:10:04,579 I'm gonna die in a toilet stall just like the gypsy said. 252 00:10:04,581 --> 00:10:06,215 Damn that Krieger. 253 00:10:06,217 --> 00:10:08,083 Nazi-clone-bastard. 254 00:10:08,085 --> 00:10:10,553 Well, we don't know it was the tea. 255 00:10:10,555 --> 00:10:11,153 Aagh! 256 00:10:11,155 --> 00:10:12,187 Who the hell are you?! 257 00:10:12,189 --> 00:10:14,990 I'm your friend, Pam, I'm -- Pam?! 258 00:10:14,992 --> 00:10:18,927 You're not my friend, you're a Decepticon. Waaaagh! 259 00:10:18,929 --> 00:10:20,963 How are you both still alive?! 260 00:10:20,965 --> 00:10:23,031 The floor is lava! 261 00:10:23,033 --> 00:10:26,368 The floor is lava! 262 00:10:26,370 --> 00:10:27,969 Clinical trial thirteen. 263 00:10:27,971 --> 00:10:31,105 Subjects' responses are exceeding expectations. 264 00:10:31,107 --> 00:10:32,707 Pam you're melting! 265 00:10:32,709 --> 00:10:33,541 You're melting! 266 00:10:33,543 --> 00:10:36,877 Because the floor is lah-vuh-huhhhh! 267 00:10:36,879 --> 00:10:40,780 Must! Kill! Decepticon! 268 00:10:40,782 --> 00:10:42,482 Oh, which reminds me: 269 00:10:42,484 --> 00:10:44,317 call Terry. 270 00:10:44,319 --> 00:10:45,351 RROWWR! 271 00:10:45,353 --> 00:10:48,387 The tiger says... RROWWR! 272 00:10:48,389 --> 00:10:52,190 The tiger also says you owe me a thousand dollars, so - 273 00:10:52,192 --> 00:10:52,858 No! I don't! 274 00:10:52,860 --> 00:10:54,293 Because I didn't bet! 275 00:10:54,295 --> 00:10:56,962 The welsher says... Psssst! 276 00:10:56,964 --> 00:10:58,264 No, that's a snake. 277 00:10:58,266 --> 00:11:00,266 Oh boy, am I glad to see you guys! 278 00:11:00,268 --> 00:11:01,701 Cyril, what the hell's going on?! 279 00:11:01,703 --> 00:11:03,570 Are you a drug dealer now, or...? 280 00:11:03,572 --> 00:11:04,805 What? No! 281 00:11:04,807 --> 00:11:06,607 And you guys aren't gonna believe what happened! 282 00:11:06,609 --> 00:11:11,178 I had, um, gastric distress, or whatever, so I was just gonna duck off the 283 00:11:11,180 --> 00:11:13,381 trail... And you remember to check your six. 284 00:11:13,383 --> 00:11:14,215 My six what? 285 00:11:14,217 --> 00:11:23,189 Before I knew what was happening... Oh man, right in my new pants! 286 00:11:23,191 --> 00:11:24,057 ��Oye! 287 00:11:24,059 --> 00:11:26,226 Hellooo... HENCHMAN:! Manos arriba!�! 288 00:11:26,228 --> 00:11:27,260 Quien es?! 289 00:11:27,262 --> 00:11:31,497 And I only had a second to answer, so I thought, what would Lana do? 290 00:11:31,499 --> 00:11:33,132 Not Archer? 291 00:11:33,134 --> 00:11:34,967 No, I had to outsmart them. 292 00:11:34,969 --> 00:11:38,671 He said, suddenly too big for his shit-caked britches. 293 00:11:38,673 --> 00:11:39,238 Archer. 294 00:11:39,240 --> 00:11:40,773 And then it came to me! 295 00:11:40,775 --> 00:11:43,075 Uh... quien soy? 296 00:11:43,077 --> 00:11:45,077 Soy el contador! 297 00:11:45,079 --> 00:11:46,745 Enviado de La Sombra! 298 00:11:46,747 --> 00:11:48,647 Donde esta� Calzado?! 299 00:11:48,649 --> 00:11:49,714 What's a La Sombra? 300 00:11:49,716 --> 00:11:52,451 Calzado's boss, don't you remember the dossier? 301 00:11:52,453 --> 00:11:53,285 No. 302 00:11:53,287 --> 00:11:53,853 Yes. 303 00:11:53,855 --> 00:11:57,857 But, what about the gunshot? 304 00:11:57,859 --> 00:12:00,394 Then they brought me here, and I bluffed my way through the rest... 305 00:12:00,396 --> 00:12:02,629 La Sombra did not say you were coming. 306 00:12:02,631 --> 00:12:05,833 Well, I assume he did not want to give you the time to cook your books. 307 00:12:05,835 --> 00:12:08,303 I -- that -- I swear I don't do that! 308 00:12:08,305 --> 00:12:09,771 Well, then you are a fool. 309 00:12:09,773 --> 00:12:10,505 �Que? 310 00:12:10,507 --> 00:12:13,174 You pay La Sombra sixty-four cents on every dollar you make, no? 311 00:12:13,176 --> 00:12:17,312 Mmmmas o menos, pero... I can get that down to thirty cents, 312 00:12:17,314 --> 00:12:19,214 and he will never even know. 313 00:12:19,216 --> 00:12:20,849 Si?! Pero como?! 314 00:12:20,851 --> 00:12:22,884 You just leave that to me, amigo. 315 00:12:22,886 --> 00:12:27,322 Wait, what's in this for you? 316 00:12:27,324 --> 00:12:29,924 We split the difference, of course! 317 00:12:29,926 --> 00:12:31,560 But first I need some clean clothes. 318 00:12:31,562 --> 00:12:35,130 This is not mud all over my pants. 319 00:12:35,132 --> 00:12:35,897 It's caca. 320 00:12:35,899 --> 00:12:37,199 Holy shit, Cyril! 321 00:12:37,201 --> 00:12:38,634 Literally. 322 00:12:38,636 --> 00:12:41,403 Yeah, really kinda wish I'd skipped the diarrhea part... 323 00:12:41,405 --> 00:12:43,038 Forget that, you did great! 324 00:12:43,040 --> 00:12:43,639 Really? 325 00:12:43,641 --> 00:12:47,242 It figuratively kills me to say this Cyril, but yeah, you did. 326 00:12:47,244 --> 00:12:48,978 So now what, what's the plan? 327 00:12:48,980 --> 00:12:51,613 Oh. Well, I was hoping you guys could come up with something. 328 00:12:51,615 --> 00:12:54,416 And ideally before tomorrow at dawn. 329 00:12:54,418 --> 00:12:56,852 Why, what's -- What is going on here?! 330 00:12:56,854 --> 00:12:57,620 Ah, amigo! 331 00:12:57,622 --> 00:13:02,325 I was just mocking this giant negress and her sissy sidekick. 332 00:13:02,327 --> 00:13:04,961 Yes, they are ridiculous, no? 333 00:13:04,963 --> 00:13:07,096 Are the accommodations to your liking? 334 00:13:07,098 --> 00:13:07,830 Honestly? 335 00:13:07,832 --> 00:13:08,197 No. 336 00:13:08,199 --> 00:13:10,366 You shouldn't even keep animals in these conditions. 337 00:13:10,368 --> 00:13:11,000 Look at them. 338 00:13:11,002 --> 00:13:15,838 Cement floors, steel bars, no room to run around, nothing to play with... 339 00:13:15,840 --> 00:13:18,775 Ah, I think perhaps you are confusing this with a zoo. 340 00:13:18,777 --> 00:13:21,745 I think, maybe, it's all these exotic animals. 341 00:13:21,747 --> 00:13:24,248 Yes, exotic animals for me to hunt. 342 00:13:24,250 --> 00:13:25,215 You hunt them?! 343 00:13:25,217 --> 00:13:26,417 How can you do that?! 344 00:13:26,419 --> 00:13:29,153 Like this. 345 00:13:29,155 --> 00:13:30,421 God damn dude. 346 00:13:30,423 --> 00:13:31,188 But you see? 347 00:13:31,190 --> 00:13:34,358 Even the majestic Bengal tiger is too easy to kill! 348 00:13:34,360 --> 00:13:34,992 It's boring! 349 00:13:34,994 --> 00:13:37,828 Which is why tomorrow at dawn, I will be hunting the most 350 00:13:37,830 --> 00:13:40,097 dangerous game in the world! 351 00:13:40,099 --> 00:13:41,364 Jai alai? 352 00:13:41,366 --> 00:13:42,065 Us! 353 00:13:42,067 --> 00:13:42,798 What?! 354 00:13:42,800 --> 00:13:43,299 Si. 355 00:13:43,301 --> 00:13:44,066 So sleep well, amigos! 356 00:13:44,068 --> 00:13:46,101 I want you rested and strong for tomorrow! 357 00:13:46,103 --> 00:13:48,703 Venga, Senor Contador, cenamos juntos! 358 00:13:48,705 --> 00:13:51,539 So yeah, try to think of a plan! 359 00:13:51,541 --> 00:13:54,209 Well, go ahead and say it. 360 00:13:54,211 --> 00:13:54,742 Say what. 361 00:13:54,744 --> 00:13:57,345 How since we're gonna die in the morning we should have sex now. 362 00:13:57,347 --> 00:13:59,982 After seeing a tiger get murdered, Lana? 363 00:13:59,984 --> 00:14:04,886 No offense, but I'm not really in the mood. 364 00:14:04,888 --> 00:14:07,155 If you want, I can watch while you masturbate. 365 00:14:07,157 --> 00:14:09,991 But I can tell you right now my he's not gonna be in it. 366 00:14:09,993 --> 00:14:12,827 It will be with that tiger's family. 367 00:14:12,829 --> 00:14:16,396 But, go ahead, start. 368 00:14:19,548 --> 00:14:23,518 And so begins the hunt for the most dangerous game! 369 00:14:23,520 --> 00:14:26,354 Hooray... So what are the les here, exactly? 370 00:14:26,356 --> 00:14:26,988 Lana be still. 371 00:14:26,990 --> 00:14:28,956 You get a thirty-minute head start. 372 00:14:28,958 --> 00:14:33,161 Then El Contador and I, just us, alone, will track you and kill you. 373 00:14:33,163 --> 00:14:34,595 Uh, uh... oh! 374 00:14:34,597 --> 00:14:35,497 Can they split up? 375 00:14:35,499 --> 00:14:36,865 Ehhh, sure, why not. 376 00:14:36,867 --> 00:14:39,234 Then I propose a friendly wager. 377 00:14:39,236 --> 00:14:42,538 We each hunt one of them, and the first to kill his quarry is the winner. 378 00:14:42,540 --> 00:14:43,839 I like this idea. 379 00:14:43,841 --> 00:14:46,375 But which -- I get the woman called it boom! 380 00:14:46,377 --> 00:14:51,914 I -- alright, since you called it. 381 00:14:51,916 --> 00:14:56,653 �Oye! Cochino... Okay, let's hunt some humans! 382 00:14:56,655 --> 00:14:58,822 Go go go go gunngh! 383 00:14:58,824 --> 00:15:00,624 Are you really that selfish?! 384 00:15:00,626 --> 00:15:03,761 Apparently! 385 00:15:03,763 --> 00:15:05,796 Clinical trial thirteen, update. 386 00:15:05,798 --> 00:15:08,765 As hypothesized, after mind-shredding hallucinations, 387 00:15:08,767 --> 00:15:14,271 subjects B and C have lapsed into deep unconsciousness... Subject A, however, 388 00:15:14,273 --> 00:15:17,207 remains at large. 389 00:15:17,209 --> 00:15:22,846 Begin clinical trial fourteen... Lana? Lana. 390 00:15:22,848 --> 00:15:24,582 Where the heck is - shmmpf! 391 00:15:24,584 --> 00:15:25,817 Don't scream, it's me. 392 00:15:25,819 --> 00:15:29,420 Oh thank God, I thought those were yeti hands... Never gets old. 393 00:15:29,422 --> 00:15:31,990 But good idea back there, getting everybody to split up. 394 00:15:31,992 --> 00:15:35,828 Thanks, yeah, I figured you'd know to head back to the, uh, LZ thingy -- 395 00:15:35,830 --> 00:15:38,030 Which we've only got about an hour to get to so -- 396 00:15:38,032 --> 00:15:40,366 -- and I figured once I found you we could work together 397 00:15:40,368 --> 00:15:43,302 to rescue Archer, capture Calzado, and escape. 398 00:15:43,304 --> 00:15:45,738 Ya know, you don't actually suck at this. 399 00:15:45,740 --> 00:15:46,505 Really? 400 00:15:46,507 --> 00:15:48,674 You're thinking tactically, making quick decisions... and I gotta tell 401 00:15:48,676 --> 00:15:51,444 ya, confidence is pretty damn sexy. 402 00:15:51,446 --> 00:15:53,679 Reeally... Theoretically. 403 00:15:53,681 --> 00:15:54,280 Sorry. 404 00:15:54,282 --> 00:15:57,650 Okay, you're doing pretty well so far, so what's the plan, rookie? 405 00:15:57,652 --> 00:15:59,785 And sooner would be better than later. 406 00:15:59,787 --> 00:16:01,887 Yeah, Calzado's on a darn threewheeler. 407 00:16:01,889 --> 00:16:02,888 Can you believe that guy? 408 00:16:02,890 --> 00:16:05,691 Who, the drug-lord who hunts humans for sport? 409 00:16:05,693 --> 00:16:07,459 I know, but that's just lame. 410 00:16:07,461 --> 00:16:07,993 Cyril? 411 00:16:07,995 --> 00:16:11,196 Uh, uh, okay, so we have to assume Archer's heading back to the LZ too, 412 00:16:11,198 --> 00:16:15,233 but he can't possibly outrun Calzado... Yeah, neither can we, so...? 413 00:16:15,235 --> 00:16:16,968 We don't need to outrun him! 414 00:16:16,970 --> 00:16:17,969 Just Archer! 415 00:16:17,971 --> 00:16:18,469 What? 416 00:16:18,471 --> 00:16:20,471 Come on! 417 00:16:20,473 --> 00:16:22,206 Oww! 418 00:16:22,208 --> 00:16:24,708 Oh eat a dick, jungle! 419 00:16:24,710 --> 00:16:28,444 Cover it with malaria and leeches, sprinkle some dengue fever on it, 420 00:16:28,446 --> 00:16:32,015 and eat a big goddamn jungly dick! 421 00:16:32,017 --> 00:16:37,220 Yeah, you do that, and I'll just wait here for a bask of Orinoco crocodiles to 422 00:16:37,222 --> 00:16:39,756 wander by and eat me. 423 00:16:39,758 --> 00:16:44,361 Oh great, that's probably them now, tearing around on specially-equipped 424 00:16:44,363 --> 00:16:45,809 croc-choppers. 425 00:16:45,929 --> 00:16:47,302 Wait, what the...? 426 00:17:00,748 --> 00:17:04,950 Goddess of the Jungle, I take it all back! 427 00:17:04,952 --> 00:17:11,656 For when I was thirsty, you saw fit to slake my thiiiiiirrrrst! 428 00:17:11,658 --> 00:17:15,659 Goddess of the Jungle, you are a whore. 429 00:17:15,661 --> 00:17:18,561 Oh thank God, I thought you were crocodiles. 430 00:17:18,563 --> 00:17:19,562 Crocodiles? 431 00:17:19,564 --> 00:17:20,797 On a three-wheeler? 432 00:17:20,799 --> 00:17:21,364 Right? 433 00:17:21,366 --> 00:17:22,532 How scary would that be? 434 00:17:22,534 --> 00:17:25,368 Mmm, probably not as scary as knowing that I am going to cut you down 435 00:17:25,370 --> 00:17:28,305 from there, and then gut you like a fish. 436 00:17:28,307 --> 00:17:31,641 Well then you're obviously an idiot when it comes to crocodiles, 437 00:17:31,643 --> 00:17:34,511 AKA the world's most deadliest predators. 438 00:17:34,513 --> 00:17:36,947 I am the world's deadliest predator! 439 00:17:36,949 --> 00:17:38,182 Or are you? 440 00:17:38,184 --> 00:17:38,849 �Que? 441 00:17:38,851 --> 00:17:39,383 Cyril?! 442 00:17:39,385 --> 00:17:40,251 No breakfast for you! 443 00:17:40,253 --> 00:17:42,387 No, that's my name, Calzado. 444 00:17:42,389 --> 00:17:44,323 Cyril Figgis... ISIS agent. 445 00:17:44,325 --> 00:17:45,991 Bastardo mentiroso! 446 00:17:45,993 --> 00:17:46,525 ISIS?! 447 00:17:46,527 --> 00:17:47,326 That's right. 448 00:17:47,328 --> 00:17:49,194 And you're under arrest. 449 00:17:49,196 --> 00:17:50,395 Albeit extra-judicially. 450 00:17:50,397 --> 00:17:52,163 Over my dead body! 451 00:17:52,165 --> 00:17:53,932 Well, that can be arranged. 452 00:17:53,934 --> 00:17:55,500 Lana? 453 00:17:55,502 --> 00:17:59,070 Hellooo... Ay, caramba... Wh-? Wait a minute, 454 00:17:59,072 --> 00:17:59,504 was I just bait?! 455 00:17:59,506 --> 00:18:00,438 That's right, Archer. 456 00:18:00,440 --> 00:18:02,641 All part of my brilliant plan. 457 00:18:02,643 --> 00:18:05,277 Lana, get some vines and tie him up, chop-chop. 458 00:18:05,279 --> 00:18:06,478 Chop-chop? 459 00:18:06,480 --> 00:18:09,082 Here we go... Uh yeah, it means hurry? 460 00:18:09,084 --> 00:18:12,485 C'mon, we got a chopper to catch, tie him up! 461 00:18:12,487 --> 00:18:13,487 You do it. 462 00:18:13,489 --> 00:18:15,222 Okay, I see what you're doing here. 463 00:18:15,224 --> 00:18:16,824 Hands behind your back, Calzado. 464 00:18:16,826 --> 00:18:17,858 Make me. 465 00:18:17,860 --> 00:18:20,261 I -- look, she will shoot you! 466 00:18:20,263 --> 00:18:21,162 No I won't. 467 00:18:21,164 --> 00:18:23,164 No she won't! 468 00:18:23,166 --> 00:18:25,500 C'mon Cyril, go all rogue on him! 469 00:18:25,502 --> 00:18:30,005 Guys c'mon, this is ridicul -- ungh! 470 00:18:30,007 --> 00:18:33,074 I think I'm gonna be -- ungh! 471 00:18:33,076 --> 00:18:37,711 Yeah, I'm gonna be sick... Here, maybe this'll help... 472 00:18:37,713 --> 00:18:41,648 Aaagh! My eyes! 473 00:18:41,650 --> 00:18:43,116 Probably shouldn't have done that. 474 00:18:43,118 --> 00:18:47,753 Not enough left to get drunk on. 475 00:18:47,755 --> 00:18:49,322 Bastardo! 476 00:18:49,324 --> 00:18:52,525 I kill you! 477 00:18:52,527 --> 00:18:55,228 Lanaaaa! 478 00:18:55,230 --> 00:18:56,629 What the hell damn guy. 479 00:18:56,631 --> 00:18:59,232 Oh thank you thank you thank you... You're welcome, Cyril. 480 00:18:59,234 --> 00:19:02,101 So, did you learn any valuable lessons today? 481 00:19:02,103 --> 00:19:03,336 Yes, I did. 482 00:19:03,338 --> 00:19:05,271 Me too. 483 00:19:05,273 --> 00:19:07,907 I learned I don't like being bait. 484 00:19:07,909 --> 00:19:08,708 Owww! 485 00:19:08,710 --> 00:19:10,743 Sorry, Cyril, did that hurt? 486 00:19:10,745 --> 00:19:14,647 Cyril. Cyril. 487 00:19:14,649 --> 00:19:15,414 Cyriiillll! 488 00:19:15,416 --> 00:19:16,682 Yes it frickin hurt! 489 00:19:16,684 --> 00:19:18,050 Yeah, right? 490 00:19:18,052 --> 00:19:18,884 What?! 491 00:19:18,886 --> 00:19:20,952 Yes, obviously I heard what you said! 492 00:19:20,954 --> 00:19:25,823 I just can't believe the head of the DEA has the balls to say it! 493 00:19:25,825 --> 00:19:27,859 Oh, is that a fact! 494 00:19:27,861 --> 00:19:29,427 Oh it is. 495 00:19:29,429 --> 00:19:32,630 M-hm. Yep. 496 00:19:32,632 --> 00:19:35,900 So, uh... How'd that go? 497 00:19:35,902 --> 00:19:36,568 Oh, fine. 498 00:19:36,570 --> 00:19:39,404 He was just explaining to me why ISIS won't be receiving any 499 00:19:39,406 --> 00:19:41,673 reward for capturing Calzado. 500 00:19:41,675 --> 00:19:43,208 [ What?!] 501 00:19:43,210 --> 00:19:46,612 Because apparently there's no proof that we did. 502 00:19:46,614 --> 00:19:48,947 We literally handed Calzado to them! 503 00:19:48,949 --> 00:19:52,884 And in return, did they hand you a signed receipt for the prisoner? 504 00:19:52,886 --> 00:19:55,119 No, they -- oh. 505 00:19:55,121 --> 00:19:55,886 Oh, shit. 506 00:19:55,888 --> 00:19:58,155 Mm. So, well done. 507 00:19:58,157 --> 00:20:02,493 Because that's exactly the brand of unparalleled professional excellence that 508 00:20:02,495 --> 00:20:04,328 I've come to expect at ISIS. 509 00:20:04,330 --> 00:20:05,429 No no no no nooo! 510 00:20:05,431 --> 00:20:07,698 What the -- Oh, I wish I was still blind. 511 00:20:07,700 --> 00:20:11,535 You'll never take me aliiiive! 512 00:20:11,537 --> 00:20:13,404 What was I saying? 513 00:20:13,406 --> 00:20:17,175 Oh yes, unparalleled... Paaaam! 514 00:20:17,177 --> 00:20:21,580 For the love of God, seal the exits! 515 00:20:21,582 --> 00:20:26,553 Professional... That's our pee, 516 00:20:26,555 --> 00:20:28,555 and that's the last I better hear about it. 517 00:20:28,557 --> 00:20:37,329 Because this stupid building is a tinderbox, and I will burn it to the ground. 518 00:20:37,331 --> 00:20:38,731 Excellence. 519 00:20:38,733 --> 00:20:42,800 Oh hey, speaking of excellent, did you hear we met a tiger?! 520 00:20:42,802 --> 00:20:45,133 But he got murdered.