1 00:00:03,916 --> 00:00:06,484 - Hey! - Hey. 2 00:00:06,484 --> 00:00:08,095 There's nobody home. 3 00:00:10,227 --> 00:00:13,317 I wonder what that's like. 4 00:00:13,317 --> 00:00:16,886 How was your class today, dear? Did the children listen to you? 5 00:00:16,886 --> 00:00:20,585 I teach traffic school, ma. 6 00:00:20,585 --> 00:00:23,371 - Since when? - Since today. 7 00:00:23,371 --> 00:00:25,112 Lots of cops do it, you know. 8 00:00:25,112 --> 00:00:27,375 Chance to earn a little spending money. 9 00:00:27,375 --> 00:00:29,290 How about spending a little on rent? 10 00:00:31,683 --> 00:00:33,816 There may not be any money. 11 00:00:33,816 --> 00:00:36,079 Got my first student evaluations today. 12 00:00:36,079 --> 00:00:37,994 Yeah? What did they say, dear? 13 00:00:37,994 --> 00:00:39,561 You want to know what they say? 14 00:00:39,561 --> 00:00:42,042 Okay, ma, here's what they say... 15 00:00:42,042 --> 00:00:44,566 "This class is a sure cure for insomnia. 16 00:00:47,438 --> 00:00:50,224 Next time, just please take away my license." 17 00:00:55,838 --> 00:01:00,451 That's just a couple of people. Who cares what they say? 18 00:01:00,451 --> 00:01:03,759 "After ten minutes, I wanted to take the officer's gun 19 00:01:03,759 --> 00:01:05,630 and end my misery." 20 00:01:12,072 --> 00:01:14,509 I stink. 21 00:01:14,509 --> 00:01:17,120 Come on, Robert. It was your first time teaching. 22 00:01:17,120 --> 00:01:20,689 Yeah? Well, the supervisor said it might be my last. 23 00:01:20,689 --> 00:01:22,734 He's sitting in on my class tomorrow. 24 00:01:22,734 --> 00:01:24,127 Oh, well, now, that's not fair. 25 00:01:24,127 --> 00:01:26,129 You probably just need a little practice. 26 00:01:26,129 --> 00:01:28,653 Well, it's really not the type of thing you can practice. 27 00:01:28,653 --> 00:01:31,917 It's all about relating to people. 28 00:01:31,917 --> 00:01:33,310 You're a dead man. 29 00:01:38,707 --> 00:01:41,144 Honey, listen. You can practice on me, dear. 30 00:01:41,144 --> 00:01:43,407 Come on, give me one of your routines. 31 00:01:43,407 --> 00:01:46,280 - What? - One of your traffic things. 32 00:01:46,280 --> 00:01:51,807 Come on. Let's just say I'm a crazy driver. Shut up, Frank. 33 00:01:51,807 --> 00:01:53,504 And I get caught. 34 00:01:53,504 --> 00:01:55,985 Now I've got to go to Robbie's Traffic School. 35 00:01:55,985 --> 00:01:59,075 It's not called Robbie's Traffic School, ma! 36 00:01:59,075 --> 00:02:01,469 It doesn't matter. It just doesn't matter. 37 00:02:01,469 --> 00:02:04,646 Alright, let's pretend I'm a person. Shut up, Frank. 38 00:02:06,735 --> 00:02:08,824 - You know what would help me? - What? 39 00:02:08,824 --> 00:02:10,652 If I could practice on all of you. 40 00:02:10,652 --> 00:02:12,001 - What? - Yeah. Yeah. 41 00:02:12,001 --> 00:02:13,742 We got enough for a class right here. 42 00:02:15,439 --> 00:02:16,875 No, you don't. 43 00:02:18,268 --> 00:02:20,836 - Goodnight. - No. Stop! 44 00:02:20,836 --> 00:02:23,665 Let me walk you home, dad. It's dark out. 45 00:02:23,665 --> 00:02:25,362 - 'Ray.' - 'What?' 46 00:02:25,362 --> 00:02:27,364 Robert, you know what? You want to run some things by me 47 00:02:27,364 --> 00:02:29,105 I'll be happy to help you. 48 00:02:29,105 --> 00:02:33,196 And I'll help you, too, dear. And Frank will, too. 49 00:02:33,196 --> 00:02:37,679 - I don't believe Frank will. - You could learn a few things. 50 00:02:37,679 --> 00:02:39,463 There's nothing wrong with the way I drive. 51 00:02:39,463 --> 00:02:41,117 What about that squirrel you ran over? 52 00:02:44,294 --> 00:02:45,687 He doubled back. 53 00:02:47,558 --> 00:02:51,475 - That squirrel wanted to die. - Oh, please. 54 00:02:51,475 --> 00:02:55,827 What about our mailbox, Frank? Did it want to die? 55 00:02:55,827 --> 00:02:58,700 Don't you have an outstanding moving violation, dad? 56 00:02:58,700 --> 00:03:00,484 I wouldn't say outstanding. 57 00:03:02,269 --> 00:03:03,792 It was pretty good, though. 58 00:03:05,881 --> 00:03:07,752 Well, if you'll let me practice my class on you 59 00:03:07,752 --> 00:03:09,276 it'll take the ticket off your record 60 00:03:09,276 --> 00:03:11,408 and your insurance won't go up. 61 00:03:11,408 --> 00:03:13,628 Wait a minute. You can do that? 62 00:03:13,628 --> 00:03:16,065 Well, then why don't you just sign the thing that says I went? 63 00:03:18,285 --> 00:03:20,722 I didn't hear that, dad. 64 00:03:20,722 --> 00:03:22,854 Alright, you didn't hear that. 65 00:03:22,854 --> 00:03:24,073 Maybe you'd like to hear it 66 00:03:24,073 --> 00:03:25,770 from some of our finest presidents. 67 00:03:25,770 --> 00:03:27,337 Dad! 68 00:03:29,948 --> 00:03:33,517 Alright. If I have to stay, so does Ray. 69 00:03:33,517 --> 00:03:34,823 He's got that traffic ticket 70 00:03:34,823 --> 00:03:36,216 he doesn't want to tell Debra about. 71 00:03:38,174 --> 00:03:40,742 - Dad. - What ticket? 72 00:03:40,742 --> 00:03:42,613 What is happening? 73 00:03:44,876 --> 00:03:48,315 Traffic school? How long is this gonna be? 74 00:03:48,315 --> 00:03:49,925 Well, if you don't take any breaks 75 00:03:49,925 --> 00:03:53,145 I can do a condensed version in three hours. 76 00:03:53,145 --> 00:03:54,930 - What? - Sweet crap! 77 00:03:57,628 --> 00:04:00,240 Wait a minute. How long is regular traffic school? 78 00:04:00,240 --> 00:04:02,285 Eight hours. 79 00:04:02,285 --> 00:04:04,983 And you're gonna have to go to that if you don't come to me. 80 00:04:04,983 --> 00:04:09,597 That's right, I got all the papers you need right in here. 81 00:04:10,815 --> 00:04:12,904 I'll go set up. 82 00:04:12,904 --> 00:04:14,515 You have two minutes before we begin. 83 00:04:16,691 --> 00:04:19,128 I suggest you all visit the lavatories. 84 00:04:33,795 --> 00:04:35,187 Okay. 85 00:04:36,319 --> 00:04:38,582 "Begin with introductions." 86 00:04:48,113 --> 00:04:52,901 Hello, I am Sgt. Robert Charles Barone. 87 00:04:52,901 --> 00:04:54,772 Sixteen years, NYPD. 88 00:04:57,297 --> 00:04:58,820 And you are? 89 00:05:01,736 --> 00:05:03,259 Hated by God. 90 00:05:05,696 --> 00:05:08,133 I'm not doing this. 91 00:05:08,133 --> 00:05:13,922 Ray, okay? My name is Ray. Je m'appelle Ray. 92 00:05:13,922 --> 00:05:15,097 Hi, Ray. 93 00:05:15,097 --> 00:05:17,186 - Debra. - Good. 94 00:05:17,186 --> 00:05:18,840 Hi, I'm Marie. 95 00:05:20,972 --> 00:05:23,584 I'm Frank. Sign my thing. 96 00:05:29,720 --> 00:05:32,854 Now I would like to direct your attention to the board. 97 00:05:32,854 --> 00:05:35,465 You will see, speed limits... 98 00:05:35,465 --> 00:05:38,555 "Pedestrians, signs and signals of the highway.." 99 00:05:38,555 --> 00:05:40,165 Things that are boring. 100 00:05:43,430 --> 00:05:46,650 - Urban versus rural driving. - Things I don't care about! 101 00:05:48,435 --> 00:05:51,916 - Insurance. - Terribly boring things! 102 00:05:51,916 --> 00:05:54,136 That's enough, Raymond! That's enough! 103 00:05:57,835 --> 00:06:00,272 Now I would like each of you to tell us 104 00:06:00,272 --> 00:06:03,537 what offense led you to be here today. 105 00:06:03,537 --> 00:06:04,842 Let's start with... 106 00:06:06,278 --> 00:06:07,367 Raymond. 107 00:06:09,369 --> 00:06:10,935 I killed my brother. 108 00:06:15,418 --> 00:06:18,813 - Traffic offense. - Oh! Oh! 109 00:06:18,813 --> 00:06:22,382 Could you go lie down in the driveway for a minute? 110 00:06:22,382 --> 00:06:24,645 It says right here in the binder that each student must tell 111 00:06:24,645 --> 00:06:26,342 the offense they committed. 112 00:06:26,342 --> 00:06:28,953 Yeah, come on. Let's hear about your little offense. 113 00:06:28,953 --> 00:06:30,477 What? It was nothing. 114 00:06:30,477 --> 00:06:33,523 I-I ran over one of those orange cones, that's all. 115 00:06:33,523 --> 00:06:35,873 Tell her why. 116 00:06:35,873 --> 00:06:37,440 I don't remember, dad. 117 00:06:37,440 --> 00:06:40,835 I remember. I was there. 118 00:06:40,835 --> 00:06:44,186 It had something to do with a halter top. 119 00:06:44,186 --> 00:06:47,189 - Okay. - Halted you pretty good. 120 00:06:47,189 --> 00:06:48,712 Dad. 121 00:06:52,499 --> 00:06:55,458 You know how these things happen. 122 00:06:55,458 --> 00:06:57,721 You see somebody and you think they're naked. 123 00:07:00,507 --> 00:07:03,466 Then you look and they're just wearing a beige top. 124 00:07:03,466 --> 00:07:07,165 The next thing you know, you've run over a couple of cones. 125 00:07:07,165 --> 00:07:08,993 Reckless driving. 126 00:07:08,993 --> 00:07:14,216 So you just ride around looking for naked? 127 00:07:14,216 --> 00:07:16,087 - Well, if it won't come to me... - Yeah. 128 00:07:18,481 --> 00:07:22,267 Look, okay, can we get back to the course, please? 129 00:07:22,267 --> 00:07:23,965 Who can answer this question? 130 00:07:23,965 --> 00:07:28,360 "At 55 miles an hour, you will travel over 800 feet 131 00:07:28,360 --> 00:07:33,148 "in ten to twelve seconds, so will an oncoming truck. 132 00:07:33,148 --> 00:07:36,891 To pass safely, how many feet will you need?" 133 00:07:36,891 --> 00:07:38,501 - 'Dad.' - Sign my thing. 134 00:07:38,501 --> 00:07:42,026 Come on! 135 00:07:42,026 --> 00:07:43,637 What are you doing? 136 00:07:43,637 --> 00:07:46,509 Robert, that question is really complicated. 137 00:07:46,509 --> 00:07:48,076 Is that something they would ask? 138 00:07:48,076 --> 00:07:50,470 - It's in the binder. - What, you know what... 139 00:07:50,470 --> 00:07:52,036 Maybe we don't have to do this class 140 00:07:52,036 --> 00:07:53,385 exactly like it is in the binder. 141 00:07:53,385 --> 00:07:55,431 What do you mean? 142 00:07:55,431 --> 00:07:58,042 The binder's not just a guide, Debra. The binder is... 143 00:08:00,001 --> 00:08:02,351 ...binding. 144 00:08:02,351 --> 00:08:03,744 Shut up, Frank. 145 00:08:06,137 --> 00:08:07,922 - What? - Yeah, yeah... 146 00:08:07,922 --> 00:08:09,619 You were about to do a bathroom joke. 147 00:08:12,100 --> 00:08:15,843 - A bathroom joke? - Yeah, about binding. 148 00:08:18,062 --> 00:08:21,022 Alright, look, let's focus, people. 149 00:08:21,022 --> 00:08:22,458 Rice. 150 00:08:24,939 --> 00:08:28,203 - Look, please-- - Cheese. 151 00:08:28,203 --> 00:08:30,684 That's enough! 152 00:08:30,684 --> 00:08:32,903 - How about some-- - Bananas! 153 00:08:36,603 --> 00:08:37,995 Things that are binding. 154 00:08:40,737 --> 00:08:42,130 Would you please... 155 00:08:44,001 --> 00:08:48,440 These are safety issues. And let's remember something... 156 00:08:48,440 --> 00:08:50,704 Driving is a privilege, not a right. 157 00:08:53,707 --> 00:08:56,318 Yams. I'm sorry. 158 00:08:56,318 --> 00:08:58,102 - I'm sorry, Robert. - Don't apologize. 159 00:08:58,102 --> 00:09:00,017 That was good. Yams. 160 00:09:03,151 --> 00:09:05,066 Sorry. 161 00:09:05,066 --> 00:09:07,634 That explains last Thanksgiving. 162 00:09:10,375 --> 00:09:11,899 Oh, God. 163 00:09:14,858 --> 00:09:17,469 You're not helping, ma. 164 00:09:20,516 --> 00:09:23,693 We're just having a little fun. 165 00:09:23,693 --> 00:09:25,608 Well, we're not here to have fun. 166 00:09:25,608 --> 00:09:27,436 Well, then, you're the man for the job. 167 00:09:38,273 --> 00:09:41,972 - Maybe I'm not. - Come on, Robert. 168 00:09:41,972 --> 00:09:43,974 I'm just saying if we have to do this 169 00:09:43,974 --> 00:09:45,541 why has it got to be torture? 170 00:09:45,541 --> 00:09:47,674 I see. I'm sorry this is torture. 171 00:09:49,371 --> 00:09:53,549 I guess the student evaluations were correct. 172 00:09:53,549 --> 00:09:58,032 Oh, come on. Stop feeling sorry for yourself. 173 00:09:58,032 --> 00:09:59,555 I'm just trying to give you some advice. 174 00:09:59,555 --> 00:10:01,252 And what is that advice, Raymond? 175 00:10:03,777 --> 00:10:05,735 I don't know. 176 00:10:05,735 --> 00:10:07,302 Lighten up. 177 00:10:08,085 --> 00:10:10,871 Lighten up. 178 00:10:10,871 --> 00:10:12,612 Thank you very much. 179 00:10:17,007 --> 00:10:19,488 Hey, you didn't sign my thing. 180 00:10:27,844 --> 00:10:30,934 - What did you do? - What? He left. 181 00:10:30,934 --> 00:10:33,633 It breaks my heart the way you treat your brother. 182 00:10:33,633 --> 00:10:36,679 Me? You were all laughing at him. 183 00:10:36,679 --> 00:10:38,463 I was not laughing. 184 00:10:42,729 --> 00:10:45,035 You weren't laughing? Rice. 185 00:10:46,820 --> 00:10:48,822 That was funny. 186 00:10:48,822 --> 00:10:52,434 No, I think we were all a little bit insensitive. 187 00:10:52,434 --> 00:10:54,784 Robert's got no sense of humor about himself. 188 00:10:54,784 --> 00:10:58,788 That's right. You've got to be able to laugh at yourself. 189 00:10:58,788 --> 00:11:03,358 Look at me, I laugh at your mother all the time. 190 00:11:03,358 --> 00:11:05,229 I'm not you, Frank. 191 00:11:05,229 --> 00:11:08,058 I know. But I'm married to you, so the joke's on me. 192 00:11:10,234 --> 00:11:12,410 Look, Robert's feeling pretty bad. 193 00:11:12,410 --> 00:11:16,414 I mean, I think we need to apologize and make it up to him. 194 00:11:16,414 --> 00:11:18,242 Go ahead, Ray. 195 00:11:18,242 --> 00:11:21,724 - What? No. - Yes. Go speak to your brother. 196 00:11:21,724 --> 00:11:23,726 No. 197 00:11:23,726 --> 00:11:26,860 Oh, Robbie, I'm so glad you're back. 198 00:11:26,860 --> 00:11:28,775 And Raymond's sorry for what he said. 199 00:11:28,775 --> 00:11:33,475 No, no. Raymond was right. This doesn't have to be torture. 200 00:11:33,475 --> 00:11:36,913 I just got to learn to lighten up. 201 00:11:36,913 --> 00:11:39,699 And to that end, I'd like to introduce you to... 202 00:11:41,526 --> 00:11:43,137 ...Traffic Cop Timmy! 203 00:11:48,403 --> 00:11:50,274 - Oh, my God. - Yeah. 204 00:11:50,274 --> 00:11:52,973 Timmy's going to help teach us the rest of the class tonight. 205 00:11:52,973 --> 00:11:55,540 - Isn't that right, Timmy? - 10-4, sarge. 206 00:11:57,804 --> 00:12:02,547 Look, Robert, I'm sorry what I said about lightening up here. 207 00:12:02,547 --> 00:12:05,550 This might be too light. 208 00:12:05,550 --> 00:12:07,117 No, no, it's okay, Raymond. 209 00:12:07,117 --> 00:12:09,119 You know, my partner Judy uses Timmy 210 00:12:09,119 --> 00:12:11,731 to teach the kids about safety and they all love her. 211 00:12:11,731 --> 00:12:15,604 Yeah, and Judy has warmer hands. 212 00:12:15,604 --> 00:12:17,519 Sorry, Timmy. 213 00:12:17,519 --> 00:12:19,913 Oh, Robbie, you're very good. 214 00:12:19,913 --> 00:12:23,220 Hey, make his eyes move again. 215 00:12:23,220 --> 00:12:26,354 - How do you do that? - I'm not doing anything. 216 00:12:26,354 --> 00:12:28,486 Hey, Frank, why don't you park it over there? 217 00:12:28,486 --> 00:12:30,401 And I mean legally. 218 00:12:30,401 --> 00:12:33,709 Alright. Now we got a show. 219 00:12:36,320 --> 00:12:38,670 - Can you believe this? - Look at his little shoes. 220 00:12:40,803 --> 00:12:43,675 Alright, Timmy, tell everybody what we'll be learning next. 221 00:12:43,675 --> 00:12:47,157 Wait a minute, Robert. Come on, you're really going to do this? 222 00:12:47,157 --> 00:12:50,073 Hey, Ray, this was your idea. 223 00:12:50,073 --> 00:12:52,075 Did anybody hear me say puppet? 224 00:12:54,599 --> 00:12:56,253 That's quite enough out of you. 225 00:12:56,253 --> 00:12:59,256 Now why don't you sit down, Big Nose? 226 00:13:02,216 --> 00:13:03,565 What? 227 00:13:04,653 --> 00:13:08,178 He called you Big Nose. 228 00:13:08,178 --> 00:13:10,485 Come on, come on, we're being supportive. 229 00:13:10,485 --> 00:13:12,574 Look how cute he is. 230 00:13:12,574 --> 00:13:14,315 Alright, Timmy, let's behave ourself. 231 00:13:14,315 --> 00:13:16,578 We're here to teach traffic school. 232 00:13:16,578 --> 00:13:20,147 Oh, yeah, right. Okay, let's see who can answer this. 233 00:13:20,147 --> 00:13:21,931 When you're behind another vehicle 234 00:13:21,931 --> 00:13:24,542 what is the proper following distance? 235 00:13:25,413 --> 00:13:27,632 - Frank? - Uh... 236 00:13:27,632 --> 00:13:28,938 Well, if the guy's going really slow 237 00:13:28,938 --> 00:13:30,592 I like to be right on his butt. 238 00:13:33,334 --> 00:13:35,597 So if he looks back, he can read my lips. 239 00:13:39,644 --> 00:13:44,432 No, dad. It is one car lane per ten miles of speed. 240 00:13:44,432 --> 00:13:48,784 Yeah, remind me to never drive with you, you crazy old bastard. 241 00:13:58,402 --> 00:14:00,143 How's that? 242 00:14:00,143 --> 00:14:03,407 Alright. Now let's move on, Timmy. 243 00:14:03,407 --> 00:14:05,366 Don't you have a question for ma? 244 00:14:05,366 --> 00:14:07,585 - Sure. Marie, is it? - Yeah. 245 00:14:07,585 --> 00:14:10,110 Hi, Marie. Okay. 246 00:14:10,110 --> 00:14:11,981 Now, when you get into the car 247 00:14:11,981 --> 00:14:15,245 what are you supposed to do before you begin driving? 248 00:14:15,245 --> 00:14:18,553 Oh, I know that. You buckle your seat belt. 249 00:14:18,553 --> 00:14:20,685 - Good. - And you check your mirrors. 250 00:14:20,685 --> 00:14:22,426 Correct. 251 00:14:22,426 --> 00:14:23,732 You look to the left, you look to the right 252 00:14:23,732 --> 00:14:25,038 you look behind you. 253 00:14:25,038 --> 00:14:28,084 Very good. Anything else? 254 00:14:28,084 --> 00:14:31,958 - No, I think that's it. - Oh, that's it. 255 00:14:31,958 --> 00:14:33,568 She thinks that's it. 256 00:14:36,136 --> 00:14:38,529 Isn't that everything, Timmy? 257 00:14:38,529 --> 00:14:40,923 Oh, yeah, sure, that's everything. 258 00:14:40,923 --> 00:14:44,187 But how about making sure your first-born child is in the car 259 00:14:44,187 --> 00:14:47,060 before you pull out of a gas station in New Mexico? 260 00:14:57,244 --> 00:14:58,854 Well, that's awfully specific. 261 00:15:00,203 --> 00:15:02,379 Is that in the binder? 262 00:15:02,379 --> 00:15:05,556 Robbie, that was 30 years ago. 263 00:15:05,556 --> 00:15:07,297 I don't have a problem with it. 264 00:15:11,867 --> 00:15:14,870 Uh-oh! 265 00:15:14,870 --> 00:15:18,961 Yeah. Remember that? Big road trip, fun family vacation. 266 00:15:18,961 --> 00:15:20,658 Driving out to see the Grand Canyon. 267 00:15:20,658 --> 00:15:23,357 Frank stops to get some gas and you all drive off 268 00:15:23,357 --> 00:15:25,054 while Robert's still in the men's room. 269 00:15:26,882 --> 00:15:28,971 How do you know? You weren't there. 270 00:15:36,979 --> 00:15:38,981 Oh, we got a real battle of wits going on here. 271 00:15:41,679 --> 00:15:43,986 We thought you were sleeping in the back. 272 00:15:43,986 --> 00:15:46,946 It was only an hour driving and then we noticed. 273 00:15:46,946 --> 00:15:49,209 We turned right around. 274 00:15:49,209 --> 00:15:52,777 Oh, only two hours. 275 00:15:52,777 --> 00:15:55,171 Excellent mothering. 276 00:15:57,130 --> 00:16:00,350 I remember that. We missed the tribal dances. 277 00:16:00,350 --> 00:16:02,004 You would've liked that, Ray. 278 00:16:02,004 --> 00:16:03,701 I hear those ladies don't wear very much. 279 00:16:05,529 --> 00:16:08,271 Ah, poor Raymond missed the tribal dances. 280 00:16:08,271 --> 00:16:11,144 Raymond. Raymond. Raymond. 281 00:16:11,144 --> 00:16:13,059 Meanwhile, back at the rest stop 282 00:16:13,059 --> 00:16:15,844 a couple of truckers want to braid Robert's hair. 283 00:16:20,066 --> 00:16:22,372 We happen to be very good parents, Timmy. 284 00:16:22,372 --> 00:16:24,548 Ah, yeah, great family, right? 285 00:16:24,548 --> 00:16:28,552 As long as everybody's eating, everybody's happy, right, mama? 286 00:16:28,552 --> 00:16:30,859 Just ask your husband, Burp 'n' Slurp. 287 00:16:34,123 --> 00:16:38,214 Hey, how come you haven't said anything about Debra yet? 288 00:16:38,214 --> 00:16:42,566 I don't have a problem with Debra. You're alright, cookie. 289 00:16:42,566 --> 00:16:44,220 Aah! Cha-cha-cha. 290 00:16:46,309 --> 00:16:49,573 I think traffic school's over now. 291 00:16:49,573 --> 00:16:52,054 Me, too. I'm getting tired of Timmy's mouth. 292 00:16:52,054 --> 00:16:53,969 Ah, sit down, shiny. 293 00:16:53,969 --> 00:16:58,843 - You want to start with me? - Dad. Dad. Dad. 294 00:16:58,843 --> 00:17:00,367 Puppet. 295 00:17:03,022 --> 00:17:05,720 Yeah, right. If it was Raymond's traffic school 296 00:17:05,720 --> 00:17:08,157 everybody would be sitting here without a peep. 297 00:17:08,157 --> 00:17:09,941 But the minute this poor slob... 298 00:17:13,597 --> 00:17:15,817 ...needs something... 299 00:17:15,817 --> 00:17:19,038 ...everybody's too busy. 300 00:17:19,038 --> 00:17:22,780 Everybody makes with the jokes. 301 00:17:22,780 --> 00:17:24,347 Nobody cares. 302 00:17:26,393 --> 00:17:30,049 Come on, flatfoot. Let's get the hell out of here. 303 00:17:47,892 --> 00:17:49,198 Timmy's mean. 304 00:17:57,424 --> 00:17:58,773 Robert. 305 00:18:04,387 --> 00:18:05,736 Damn it. 306 00:18:06,607 --> 00:18:07,999 Robert! 307 00:18:10,611 --> 00:18:12,178 What have you done with Robert? 308 00:18:17,487 --> 00:18:18,880 Robert! 309 00:18:20,925 --> 00:18:22,797 I'm not signing your thing, dad. 310 00:18:26,714 --> 00:18:31,327 - Hey! - Oh, hey. 311 00:18:31,327 --> 00:18:32,937 I'm not signing your thing, either. 312 00:18:34,722 --> 00:18:37,638 That's alright. Listen... 313 00:18:37,638 --> 00:18:40,119 I'm sorry about the... 314 00:18:40,119 --> 00:18:42,773 You know, telling you to lighten up and everything. 315 00:18:42,773 --> 00:18:45,994 It's alright. Gave it a shot. 316 00:18:45,994 --> 00:18:47,822 Yeah, yeah, it went well. 317 00:18:51,869 --> 00:18:54,263 Well, that Timmy's got a lot of issues though, huh? 318 00:18:58,049 --> 00:19:00,574 You know, Timmy's just a puppet. 319 00:19:00,574 --> 00:19:03,794 Yeah, I know. It's good to hear you say it. 320 00:19:06,406 --> 00:19:10,018 Made a real ass out of myself, didn't I? 321 00:19:10,018 --> 00:19:13,413 You know what people like? Balloon animals. 322 00:19:16,024 --> 00:19:19,680 My whole life, every time I felt bad for myself, mom would say 323 00:19:19,680 --> 00:19:22,944 "The family will help you. We'll make you feel better." 324 00:19:22,944 --> 00:19:24,467 I'd fall for it every time. 325 00:19:26,339 --> 00:19:28,558 Yeah, well, mom and dad... 326 00:19:28,558 --> 00:19:32,301 You know, this parenting stuff, it's just not their field. 327 00:19:37,350 --> 00:19:40,918 They did alright by you. You're the golden boy. 328 00:19:40,918 --> 00:19:42,659 Oh, will you stop that, already, okay? 329 00:19:42,659 --> 00:19:44,487 They messed me up just as much as you, pal. 330 00:19:44,487 --> 00:19:46,359 Oh, yeah, you're as messed up as me? 331 00:19:46,359 --> 00:19:49,013 - Yeah. Probably more so. - You're insulting me now? 332 00:19:50,928 --> 00:19:53,583 You don't own messed up. You were neglected. 333 00:19:53,583 --> 00:19:57,718 - Try being smothered. - I used to pray for smothered. 334 00:19:57,718 --> 00:19:59,372 You want smothered? 335 00:19:59,372 --> 00:20:02,026 How about in school when mom became cafeteria monitor 336 00:20:02,026 --> 00:20:03,941 to make sure I ate all my food 337 00:20:03,941 --> 00:20:09,208 and kept my sweater on, and sat with her? 338 00:20:09,208 --> 00:20:12,385 - That was bad. - Yeah. Alright? 339 00:20:12,385 --> 00:20:14,256 How about the times when you started walking to school, right 340 00:20:14,256 --> 00:20:16,737 and mom would follow you the whole way? 341 00:20:16,737 --> 00:20:17,955 - She did? - Yeah, yeah. 342 00:20:17,955 --> 00:20:19,392 She'd hide from tree to tree. 343 00:20:23,265 --> 00:20:25,180 Oh, my God. 344 00:20:25,180 --> 00:20:28,139 Oh, my, that's the crazy tree lady from the dreams. 345 00:20:31,012 --> 00:20:32,927 - Nightmares, huh? - Yeah. 346 00:20:32,927 --> 00:20:36,060 - How long did you have them? - I just had one four days ago. 347 00:20:38,411 --> 00:20:42,676 - That is pretty messed up. - Yeah, it is. 348 00:20:42,676 --> 00:20:47,246 Hey, so the jumping-canoe guy is... 349 00:20:47,246 --> 00:20:48,725 Dad. 350 00:20:50,379 --> 00:20:52,729 Oh, my God. 351 00:20:52,729 --> 00:20:55,471 Thanks for coming over, Raymond. 352 00:20:55,471 --> 00:20:57,299 You really did make me feel better. 353 00:20:59,040 --> 00:21:01,782 Man, they're worse than I thought. 354 00:21:01,782 --> 00:21:04,872 - I should talk to them. - Want to borrow the dummy? 355 00:21:24,195 --> 00:21:25,719 Gah! 356 00:21:32,029 --> 00:21:34,249 Not so funny without his head, is he? 357 00:21:36,077 --> 00:21:38,079 What did you do, dad? I need that.