1
00:00:04,482 --> 00:00:05,875
- Hey, Amy.
- Hi.

2
00:00:05,875 --> 00:00:07,616
Oh, let me get that
for you, babe.

3
00:00:07,616 --> 00:00:09,444
Thank you, Robert.

4
00:00:12,055 --> 00:00:14,318
It's okay, ray. I've got it.

5
00:00:14,318 --> 00:00:16,016
What? Oh.

6
00:00:25,199 --> 00:00:27,897
You know you get better
looking every day.

7
00:00:27,897 --> 00:00:30,552
- Can't wait till tomorrow.
- Aw.

8
00:00:43,478 --> 00:00:45,306
There you go.

9
00:00:48,700 --> 00:00:50,789
You're killing me, man.

10
00:00:56,012 --> 00:00:58,058
Ugh. That smell.

11
00:00:58,058 --> 00:01:00,321
You burned the popcorn again,
didn't you?

12
00:01:00,321 --> 00:01:02,453
Alright, well,
t-that's an easy one.

13
00:01:02,453 --> 00:01:04,412
Now try and guess
what I spilled.

14
00:01:06,153 --> 00:01:07,763
- Hi.
- Hi, Marie.

15
00:01:07,763 --> 00:01:09,765
Ooh, what...

16
00:01:09,765 --> 00:01:13,073
Oh, another dinner
get away from you, dear?

17
00:01:16,337 --> 00:01:18,208
- It's burnt popcorn, Marie.
- Oh!

18
00:01:18,208 --> 00:01:21,646
Popcorn for dinner. How fun.

19
00:01:21,646 --> 00:01:22,908
No, it wasn't for dinner,
and I didn't--

20
00:01:22,908 --> 00:01:25,433
- Amy! Oh!
- Marie! Oh!

21
00:01:25,433 --> 00:01:27,261
- Oh, honey!
- Hi!

22
00:01:27,261 --> 00:01:28,610
Look, look, I'm wearing the pin.

23
00:01:28,610 --> 00:01:30,699
Oh, it looks great
on you, honey.

24
00:01:30,699 --> 00:01:33,267
And thank you so much
for lunch yesterday.

25
00:01:33,267 --> 00:01:35,356
Marie is such a life saver.

26
00:01:35,356 --> 00:01:38,446
- Oh, stop it. A life saver?
- You brought me lunch at work.

27
00:01:38,446 --> 00:01:40,535
- Oh, honey, it was nothing.
- "It was nothing."

28
00:01:40,535 --> 00:01:44,408
- You made your own mustard.
- Well, you deserve it.

29
00:01:44,408 --> 00:01:48,412
Will you look at my gals?
I call them the two musketeers.

30
00:01:48,412 --> 00:01:50,284
That's stupid.

31
00:01:52,199 --> 00:01:53,896
Okay, you know, honey

32
00:01:53,896 --> 00:01:57,421
w-would you like to come
and have a cup of coffee?

33
00:01:57,421 --> 00:01:59,119
Oh, great.

34
00:01:59,119 --> 00:02:00,294
Deb, you wanna go get
some coffee?

35
00:02:00,294 --> 00:02:01,599
Uh, no, I can't, I have to--

36
00:02:01,599 --> 00:02:05,168
She has to take care
of that smell.

37
00:02:05,168 --> 00:02:06,691
Right this way, my ladies.

38
00:02:06,691 --> 00:02:08,780
- Oh, thank you.
- Oh, thank you.

39
00:02:20,444 --> 00:02:22,490
What the hell was that?

40
00:02:26,189 --> 00:02:28,800
Dad, what's the matter?
W-what's the big emergency?

41
00:02:28,800 --> 00:02:30,889
I got to fix the oven fan,
I need you and Robert

42
00:02:30,889 --> 00:02:33,501
to help me hold the vent hood.

43
00:02:33,501 --> 00:02:36,460
That's, that's the emergency?
That's "get over here now?"

44
00:02:36,460 --> 00:02:38,593
You wanna help or not?

45
00:02:38,593 --> 00:02:41,378
Next time,
you better be in labor.

46
00:02:43,641 --> 00:02:45,556
Got it? Alright.

47
00:02:46,949 --> 00:02:48,820
Ma wants to get the kitchen
in good shape.

48
00:02:48,820 --> 00:02:51,214
She's letting Amy
cook dinner here Friday night.

49
00:02:51,214 --> 00:02:53,825
You and Debra
are cordially invited.

50
00:02:53,825 --> 00:02:55,305
Wait a minute, wait a minute,
mom's letting Amy

51
00:02:55,305 --> 00:02:56,437
use her kitchen?

52
00:02:56,437 --> 00:02:58,090
That's right.

53
00:02:58,090 --> 00:03:00,658
I don't have to tell you
what a big deal this is, do I?

54
00:03:00,658 --> 00:03:04,271
'Cause it's huge.

55
00:03:04,271 --> 00:03:05,794
It's not huge, Robert.

56
00:03:05,794 --> 00:03:08,623
Mom has never let anybody
cook in her kitchen.

57
00:03:08,623 --> 00:03:09,972
Nobody.

58
00:03:11,582 --> 00:03:13,628
Oh, what's that,
what's that supposed to mean?

59
00:03:13,628 --> 00:03:16,631
Nothing. It's just
I'm excited for Amy.

60
00:03:16,631 --> 00:03:19,808
And this is the first-year
anniversary of us going out.

61
00:03:19,808 --> 00:03:22,941
You know, Debra
has cooked here, my friend.

62
00:03:22,941 --> 00:03:26,118
Mm, no, she has not.

63
00:03:26,118 --> 00:03:27,729
- She has too.
- No, sir.

64
00:03:27,729 --> 00:03:30,819
- She has too, you freak.
- You're the freak!

65
00:03:30,819 --> 00:03:33,561
- Dad? Dad?
- Ow! Ah!

66
00:03:35,389 --> 00:03:37,608
Has ma ever let Debra
cook in her kitchen?

67
00:03:37,608 --> 00:03:39,610
I'm not getting involved
in your stupid argument.

68
00:03:39,610 --> 00:03:41,569
Your mother likes Amy
better than Debra.

69
00:03:41,569 --> 00:03:43,266
End of story.

70
00:03:43,266 --> 00:03:46,226
Hold that up.

71
00:03:46,226 --> 00:03:48,271
Wait. Wait. Wait. Wait.
Wait a minute.

72
00:03:48,271 --> 00:03:52,580
- What? Who told you that?
- Your mother!

73
00:03:52,580 --> 00:03:57,280
Don't go blabbing that.
She said it was a secret.

74
00:03:57,280 --> 00:03:59,978
Well, w-w-what does she mean
she likes her more?

75
00:03:59,978 --> 00:04:03,504
Oh, they're very close.
You know, they talk every day.

76
00:04:03,504 --> 00:04:05,245
Every day? What about yesterday?

77
00:04:05,245 --> 00:04:08,683
Was yesterday a day?

78
00:04:08,683 --> 00:04:11,163
Every day... for hours.

79
00:04:11,990 --> 00:04:13,601
It's true.

80
00:04:13,601 --> 00:04:16,168
Amy talks her out.

81
00:04:16,168 --> 00:04:17,648
Marie sometimes goes days

82
00:04:17,648 --> 00:04:19,911
without having
to say a word to me.

83
00:04:22,871 --> 00:04:24,612
I love Amy.

84
00:04:29,791 --> 00:04:31,923
- Hey.
- Hey.

85
00:04:31,923 --> 00:04:33,664
Your dad okay?

86
00:04:33,664 --> 00:04:35,492
Yes.

87
00:04:39,583 --> 00:04:41,411
Hey, did you know
that Amy's cooking

88
00:04:41,411 --> 00:04:43,413
a big dinner over there Friday?

89
00:04:43,413 --> 00:04:46,634
- For their anniversary thing?
- Yeah. Yeah, Amy's cooking.

90
00:04:46,634 --> 00:04:48,810
In my mom's kitchen.

91
00:04:48,810 --> 00:04:51,073
You've cooked over there
before, right?

92
00:04:53,989 --> 00:04:55,425
What, are you kidding me,
Marie doesn't even like

93
00:04:55,425 --> 00:04:57,384
me cooking over here.

94
00:05:00,169 --> 00:05:02,084
Can we turn the TV off,
please, huh?

95
00:05:02,084 --> 00:05:04,304
Does the TV always
have to be on?

96
00:05:05,522 --> 00:05:08,482
- What's wrong with you?
- Nothing.

97
00:05:08,482 --> 00:05:13,008
- Can't we just talk?
- Okay, now you're scaring me.

98
00:05:13,008 --> 00:05:15,140
You don't wish that you could
cook over there sometime, huh?

99
00:05:15,140 --> 00:05:18,492
That wouldn't be fun?

100
00:05:18,492 --> 00:05:19,884
Um...

101
00:05:23,148 --> 00:05:25,063
That might be the dumbest thing
you've ever said.

102
00:05:25,063 --> 00:05:26,413
Give me the remote.

103
00:05:26,413 --> 00:05:28,415
No, no, no. No TV.

104
00:05:28,415 --> 00:05:30,808
Ray, come on, what're you doing?
This is stupid!

105
00:05:30,808 --> 00:05:32,897
- It isn't stupid!
- You give me...

106
00:05:32,897 --> 00:05:35,639
I don't care what
your mom does with Amy, okay?

107
00:05:35,639 --> 00:05:38,120
No! No!

108
00:05:38,120 --> 00:05:41,341
- Ray, I'm watching the TV!
- She likes Amy more than you!

109
00:05:44,344 --> 00:05:45,562
- What?
- Yeah.

110
00:05:45,562 --> 00:05:47,564
That's what she told my dad.

111
00:05:47,564 --> 00:05:49,914
- She did?
- Yes.

112
00:05:49,914 --> 00:05:52,787
And then he told me and Robert.

113
00:05:52,787 --> 00:05:55,703
Oh, and don't go telling
anybody, alright? It's a secret.

114
00:06:00,185 --> 00:06:02,187
Okay, I won't.

115
00:06:02,187 --> 00:06:04,842
- Why do you care?
- I don't care.

116
00:06:04,842 --> 00:06:07,976
Robert's the one
who was acting all cocky.

117
00:06:07,976 --> 00:06:10,108
"Amy's cooking. Ah."

118
00:06:14,156 --> 00:06:17,246
What, is this, like, some kind
of competition between you two?

119
00:06:17,246 --> 00:06:21,206
- No, what...
- Oh, my God. It is!

120
00:06:21,206 --> 00:06:23,121
Oh, you can't stand it
that your mommy

121
00:06:23,121 --> 00:06:25,602
likes Robbie's girl
better than your girl.

122
00:06:28,649 --> 00:06:31,260
I'm a little insulted by that.

123
00:06:31,260 --> 00:06:32,740
You're insulted?

124
00:06:32,740 --> 00:06:35,699
I'm just this thing
in your stupid sibling rivalry.

125
00:06:35,699 --> 00:06:38,093
- There's no rivalry.
- Oh, no?

126
00:06:38,093 --> 00:06:39,834
Robbie's got
the better girl, Ray.

127
00:06:39,834 --> 00:06:43,794
We're behind.
What're we gonna do?

128
00:06:43,794 --> 00:06:45,230
Where you going?

129
00:06:45,230 --> 00:06:46,797
Well, I've got
a lot of work to do.

130
00:06:46,797 --> 00:06:48,712
There's the evening gown competition.

131
00:06:48,712 --> 00:06:52,499
There's swimsuit competition.

132
00:06:52,499 --> 00:06:53,891
Oh, my God,
talent competition.

133
00:06:53,891 --> 00:06:55,676
What should I do,
twirl or sing?

134
00:06:55,676 --> 00:06:57,634
I know! I'll do both.

135
00:06:57,634 --> 00:07:00,550
♪ One singular sensation

136
00:07:00,550 --> 00:07:03,553
♪ Every little step she takes

137
00:07:03,553 --> 00:07:06,817
♪ One thrilling combination

138
00:07:06,817 --> 00:07:09,472
♪ Every move that she makes ♪

139
00:07:09,472 --> 00:07:10,995
Idiot.

140
00:07:16,000 --> 00:07:19,482
Nice. Very nice.

141
00:07:19,482 --> 00:07:21,484
Nice attitude.

142
00:07:21,484 --> 00:07:23,878
Forget about "Miss Congeniality"
that's for sure.

143
00:07:29,187 --> 00:07:31,189
I'm not an idiot.

144
00:07:33,714 --> 00:07:35,803
Hi, Raymond. Listen.

145
00:07:35,803 --> 00:07:37,500
On Friday, Amy's gonna cook--

146
00:07:37,500 --> 00:07:38,893
Yeah, yeah, I know.
Robert just told me.

147
00:07:38,893 --> 00:07:40,895
Oh, good. So you'll be there?

148
00:07:40,895 --> 00:07:43,550
Oh, Robbie is so excited.

149
00:07:43,550 --> 00:07:45,421
'Yeah, that's nice for him,
listen, ma.'

150
00:07:45,421 --> 00:07:47,597
- What?
- I-I wanna ask you something.

151
00:07:47,597 --> 00:07:49,904
Sit down.

152
00:07:49,904 --> 00:07:51,601
Alright.

153
00:07:55,823 --> 00:07:58,434
Why do you like Amy
more than Debra?

154
00:07:58,434 --> 00:07:59,914
- What?
- Yeah, dad told me.

155
00:07:59,914 --> 00:08:04,222
- Dad told me that you liked--
- He's lying.

156
00:08:04,222 --> 00:08:09,227
Did you say that you like Amy
more than Debra?

157
00:08:09,227 --> 00:08:12,143
I am not...

158
00:08:12,143 --> 00:08:14,102
...saying that.

159
00:08:17,584 --> 00:08:20,195
What?

160
00:08:20,195 --> 00:08:25,592
I am not saying
that I like Amy more than Debra.

161
00:08:27,463 --> 00:08:30,335
I know.
I know you're not saying it now.

162
00:08:31,772 --> 00:08:34,601
But did you say it ever?

163
00:08:40,389 --> 00:08:42,478
W-what if I told you
that we have a tape

164
00:08:42,478 --> 00:08:44,567
of you saying it, ma?

165
00:08:50,660 --> 00:08:53,228
Give me the tape.

166
00:08:53,228 --> 00:08:54,925
Yeah. There is no tape.

167
00:08:54,925 --> 00:08:57,580
Well, then you don't have
any proof at all.

168
00:08:57,580 --> 00:09:00,583
Wait. Wait, mom. Why?
Why did you tell dad that?

169
00:09:00,583 --> 00:09:03,455
It was supposed to be a secret.

170
00:09:03,455 --> 00:09:05,980
I'm never gonna talk
to that man again.

171
00:09:05,980 --> 00:09:10,506
- Why don't you like Debra?
- Honey, I love Debra.

172
00:09:10,506 --> 00:09:13,683
No, it's just that Amy and I
get along so well.

173
00:09:13,683 --> 00:09:17,034
She's a very nice girl,
you know?

174
00:09:17,034 --> 00:09:19,384
Well, so is Debra.
Debra's nice.

175
00:09:19,384 --> 00:09:21,473
No, I don't mean
nice like that.

176
00:09:21,473 --> 00:09:23,127
- Well, what?
- I mean...

177
00:09:23,127 --> 00:09:29,220
Amy is a very nice
and very good...

178
00:09:29,220 --> 00:09:31,962
She's a very good girl.

179
00:09:33,442 --> 00:09:34,965
So is Debra.

180
00:09:34,965 --> 00:09:38,403
No. Good pure.

181
00:09:41,189 --> 00:09:42,538
Pure?

182
00:09:45,715 --> 00:09:48,588
Whoa, wait.

183
00:09:48,588 --> 00:09:50,285
Wait! What?

184
00:09:50,285 --> 00:09:53,331
- Pure as in Amy has never--
- Buh, buh, buh, buh, buh!

185
00:09:55,899 --> 00:09:58,423
I was supposed
to keep that a secret.

186
00:10:00,774 --> 00:10:04,125
What? Amy is a good girl?

187
00:10:04,125 --> 00:10:06,997
But she's 33 years-old, ma.
She can't be.

188
00:10:08,738 --> 00:10:09,826
She can't?

189
00:10:09,826 --> 00:10:11,915
I mean, yeah,
she can, but how?

190
00:10:11,915 --> 00:10:13,134
It's so...

191
00:10:13,134 --> 00:10:14,701
Refreshing?

192
00:10:17,529 --> 00:10:20,315
Wow, I don't believe it.

193
00:10:20,315 --> 00:10:24,058
So Amy's never let anybody
cook in her kitchen either.

194
00:10:28,976 --> 00:10:32,153
I don't like that, Raymond.

195
00:10:32,153 --> 00:10:36,026
Well, wait a minute. Why is
Amy's goodness such a big deal?

196
00:10:36,026 --> 00:10:38,376
Because it tells me
about her character

197
00:10:38,376 --> 00:10:40,509
the kind of person she is.

198
00:10:40,509 --> 00:10:44,034
See, I think Robert is very
lucky to find a girl like that.

199
00:10:44,034 --> 00:10:46,558
How do you know
that I wasn't lucky too?

200
00:10:46,558 --> 00:10:47,864
What're you saying?

201
00:10:47,864 --> 00:10:49,736
How do you know
that Debra wasn't

202
00:10:49,736 --> 00:10:52,390
you know, when we got married?

203
00:10:52,390 --> 00:10:55,045
You mean Debra was a good girl?

204
00:11:08,450 --> 00:11:12,280
Listen, my mom was just here,
a-and we were talking

205
00:11:12,280 --> 00:11:14,325
and it hit me.

206
00:11:14,325 --> 00:11:15,718
I was, I was being competitive

207
00:11:15,718 --> 00:11:18,547
about Amy and Robert
and my mom, and...

208
00:11:19,940 --> 00:11:21,550
I'm sorry.

209
00:11:21,550 --> 00:11:23,552
- Really sorry.
- Alright.

210
00:11:23,552 --> 00:11:26,729
I mean, you know, who cares
what your mom thinks?

211
00:11:26,729 --> 00:11:29,732
You're right. You are.
You're right.

212
00:11:29,732 --> 00:11:32,430
In fact, you should
hear the reason

213
00:11:32,430 --> 00:11:34,345
why she likes Amy more than you.

214
00:11:34,345 --> 00:11:36,043
Oh.

215
00:11:37,697 --> 00:11:40,134
oh, man.
She's nuts, that lady.

216
00:11:40,134 --> 00:11:41,744
Why? What? What did she say?

217
00:11:41,744 --> 00:11:46,531
Well, first of all, did you know
that Amy has never...

218
00:11:49,839 --> 00:11:52,581
Huh? She's, she's saving up
for later.

219
00:11:52,581 --> 00:11:55,802
That's supposed to be a secret.
Who told you that?

220
00:11:55,802 --> 00:11:58,326
- My mom.
- She did?

221
00:11:58,326 --> 00:12:00,545
Yeah, can you believe it?
That's it!

222
00:12:00,545 --> 00:12:02,722
That's her whole reason.

223
00:12:02,722 --> 00:12:06,116
- Because Amy's a--
- Good girl. Good girl.

224
00:12:06,116 --> 00:12:09,467
That's what she's calling her,
a good girl.

225
00:12:09,467 --> 00:12:11,600
Oh, my God!

226
00:12:11,600 --> 00:12:13,471
It's so shallow.

227
00:12:15,212 --> 00:12:16,997
What can I do,
I can't exactly compete

228
00:12:16,997 --> 00:12:18,346
with Amy in that department.

229
00:12:18,346 --> 00:12:21,131
You know,
you can't un-ring a bell.

230
00:12:26,136 --> 00:12:27,921
- Oh.
- Nope.

231
00:12:27,921 --> 00:12:29,879
You know what I did,
I-I told my mother

232
00:12:29,879 --> 00:12:31,489
that you were a good girl too.

233
00:12:37,495 --> 00:12:40,411
Well, how does she think
we got the kids?

234
00:12:40,411 --> 00:12:46,983
I meant before.
You know, before we got married.

235
00:12:49,769 --> 00:12:54,077
You can stop
laughing now, Ray.

236
00:12:54,077 --> 00:12:55,862
I don't wanna.

237
00:13:02,869 --> 00:13:05,393
- Hi.
- What, you get lost?

238
00:13:05,393 --> 00:13:08,178
- I'm starving here!
- The babysitter just got there.

239
00:13:08,178 --> 00:13:10,311
Yeah, yeah. Let's get going.

240
00:13:10,311 --> 00:13:12,748
Appetizers, Marie.

241
00:13:12,748 --> 00:13:15,490
Welcome to <i>la cucina dell'</i> Amy.

242
00:13:15,490 --> 00:13:17,057
May I take your coats?

243
00:13:17,057 --> 00:13:18,754
- I got it, Robert.
- Okay.

244
00:13:18,754 --> 00:13:21,365
- Hi, Raymond.
- Hi.

245
00:13:21,365 --> 00:13:24,542
Oh, Debra. Oh.

246
00:13:26,501 --> 00:13:28,677
I'm so glad you're here.

247
00:13:28,677 --> 00:13:30,200
Oh, come on. Come on.
Come on.

248
00:13:30,200 --> 00:13:32,202
I-I need your opinion
on this sauce.

249
00:13:32,202 --> 00:13:34,683
- Really?
- Yes, of course.

250
00:13:36,685 --> 00:13:39,253
- Mmm. Yeah, tastes good.
- Good.

251
00:13:39,253 --> 00:13:42,125
What's your secret?
Extra-virgin olive oil?

252
00:13:44,258 --> 00:13:46,651
Alright now, you boys
take the appetizers

253
00:13:46,651 --> 00:13:49,263
and get out of here now.
And let us finish in here.

254
00:13:49,263 --> 00:13:51,526
Okay. Alright.
Come on, Debra. Let's go.

255
00:13:51,526 --> 00:13:53,963
No, no, no, no,
I want Debra to stay

256
00:13:53,963 --> 00:13:57,314
and help me with the salad.

257
00:13:57,314 --> 00:13:59,142
- Love your haircut, Deb.
- Oh, thanks.

258
00:13:59,142 --> 00:14:01,188
Oh, yeah, it's very good.

259
00:14:01,188 --> 00:14:04,844
Oh, well, you know me,
good hair for a good girl.

260
00:14:06,933 --> 00:14:09,849
Yeah, want to look good,
want to be good.

261
00:14:09,849 --> 00:14:12,242
Good, good, good.

262
00:14:12,242 --> 00:14:14,288
Okay, let's get going,
let's let, uh

263
00:14:14,288 --> 00:14:15,550
let's let Amy and mom
finish up here.

264
00:14:15,550 --> 00:14:16,681
- No, no, no, let--
- No, no.

265
00:14:16,681 --> 00:14:17,987
It's Amy's dinner, you know

266
00:14:17,987 --> 00:14:20,163
and, uh,
we wouldn't want to ruin it.

267
00:14:21,861 --> 00:14:24,080
- Are you happy now?
- No.

268
00:14:24,080 --> 00:14:26,866
- Why? Your mom likes me.
- I'm sorry.

269
00:14:29,869 --> 00:14:32,262
Hey, Ray, try one
of these garlic rounds.

270
00:14:32,262 --> 00:14:34,699
Amy made them.

271
00:14:34,699 --> 00:14:36,745
Okay, dinner will be ready
in just a few minutes.

272
00:14:36,745 --> 00:14:39,574
- Thank god!
- Isn't this fun?

273
00:14:41,445 --> 00:14:44,579
You know what, Debra,
you and I should make a big meal

274
00:14:44,579 --> 00:14:47,495
for the family together.
How long has it been?

275
00:14:47,495 --> 00:14:48,931
Oh, gosh, pretty long.

276
00:14:48,931 --> 00:14:51,281
Let's see, uh, never.

277
00:14:51,281 --> 00:14:54,241
- No! No!
- Yeah.

278
00:14:54,241 --> 00:14:55,416
- Never?
- No.

279
00:14:55,416 --> 00:14:57,113
Oh, we'll just have to do it.

280
00:14:57,113 --> 00:14:58,158
Oh, that's okay.

281
00:14:58,158 --> 00:14:59,637
No, we'll have lots of fun.

282
00:14:59,637 --> 00:15:01,683
- That's okay, Marie.
- Oh, you know what?

283
00:15:01,683 --> 00:15:04,207
You can make your lemon chicken.

284
00:15:04,207 --> 00:15:06,514
- I love that.
- Alright, stop it, ma, huh?

285
00:15:06,514 --> 00:15:08,559
- Just stop it.
- What?

286
00:15:08,559 --> 00:15:12,389
- Stop being nice to Debra.
- Ugh.

287
00:15:12,389 --> 00:15:14,565
- Don't bother, Ray.
- No, this is, this is crazy.

288
00:15:14,565 --> 00:15:16,002
She can't keep
treating you like this.

289
00:15:16,002 --> 00:15:17,655
I shouldn't be nice?

290
00:15:17,655 --> 00:15:19,744
You're being nice
for the wrong reasons!

291
00:15:19,744 --> 00:15:21,877
You know she can't cook.

292
00:15:25,185 --> 00:15:27,013
And what I said about Debra?

293
00:15:27,013 --> 00:15:30,320
- I lied, okay? I lied!
- What do you mean?

294
00:15:30,320 --> 00:15:32,801
Debra wasn't a good girl
when we got married.

295
00:15:32,801 --> 00:15:35,195
- Oh!
- Huh?

296
00:15:35,195 --> 00:15:36,936
What do you mean, a good girl?

297
00:15:36,936 --> 00:15:39,329
Go ahead, Ray. Tell him.

298
00:15:39,329 --> 00:15:42,028
Oh, you weren't a good girl.

299
00:15:42,028 --> 00:15:44,465
Got ya.

300
00:15:44,465 --> 00:15:46,902
So who cares about the cooking?

301
00:15:49,774 --> 00:15:52,299
W-why would you lie to me,
Raymond?

302
00:15:52,299 --> 00:15:54,344
Because of you. You.

303
00:15:54,344 --> 00:15:57,260
You care so much about
who's a good girl and who's not.

304
00:15:57,260 --> 00:15:58,783
You started this whole competition

305
00:15:58,783 --> 00:16:00,089
between Debra and Amy.

306
00:16:00,089 --> 00:16:01,830
Here we go.

307
00:16:03,310 --> 00:16:05,225
What competition?

308
00:16:05,225 --> 00:16:10,273
Don't worry. You win.

309
00:16:10,273 --> 00:16:13,624
And if I'm
following this right, you lose.

310
00:16:19,413 --> 00:16:21,328
What're you guys
talking about?

311
00:16:21,328 --> 00:16:23,286
You weren't supposed
to say anything.

312
00:16:23,286 --> 00:16:24,809
That's why you like Amy better

313
00:16:24,809 --> 00:16:27,203
'cause she hasn't been
around the block?

314
00:16:27,203 --> 00:16:31,077
- Why didn't you tell me that?
- It was a secret, Frank!

315
00:16:33,166 --> 00:16:34,819
Yes.

316
00:16:34,819 --> 00:16:36,647
It was a secret.

317
00:16:38,214 --> 00:16:41,609
Amy, what did you
tell Marie that for?

318
00:16:41,609 --> 00:16:45,743
- I didn't tell Marie.
- Well, I didn't tell her.

319
00:16:45,743 --> 00:16:47,093
Robert?

320
00:16:53,577 --> 00:16:56,450
I'm sorry.
I haven't been paying attention.

321
00:17:03,892 --> 00:17:06,025
Alright, let me fill you in.

322
00:17:06,025 --> 00:17:08,636
We just found out
that you told ma--

323
00:17:08,636 --> 00:17:12,814
Okay, Raymond.
I'm up to speed.

324
00:17:12,814 --> 00:17:14,250
How come you told
your mother about Amy?

325
00:17:14,250 --> 00:17:17,166
- You didn't tell me.
- You didn't ask.

326
00:17:17,166 --> 00:17:19,038
You asked?

327
00:17:19,038 --> 00:17:21,431
I care about people.

328
00:17:21,431 --> 00:17:23,607
Marie, why would you
ask that about me?

329
00:17:23,607 --> 00:17:26,436
Uh, you know,
I can explain it.

330
00:17:26,436 --> 00:17:28,264
Run.

331
00:17:28,264 --> 00:17:31,746
Just run, and keep running.

332
00:17:31,746 --> 00:17:34,662
Robert, why would you
tell your mother that?

333
00:17:34,662 --> 00:17:37,099
- So she'd like you better.
- You're worse.

334
00:17:37,099 --> 00:17:39,971
You lied so she'd
like me better.

335
00:17:39,971 --> 00:17:43,236
A lie of love.

336
00:17:43,236 --> 00:17:46,848
Oh, God, I keep forgetting
what a freak show this family is

337
00:17:46,848 --> 00:17:49,590
until somebody new comes in
and looks at us like that.

338
00:17:56,118 --> 00:17:58,686
I remember that look.

339
00:17:58,686 --> 00:18:01,080
That used to be me.

340
00:18:01,080 --> 00:18:03,430
And now I'm one of them.

341
00:18:04,779 --> 00:18:06,694
I take exception
to that, Debra.

342
00:18:06,694 --> 00:18:09,044
Well, I take exception
to what you think, Marie.

343
00:18:09,044 --> 00:18:11,481
You think just because you were
a good girl in the '50s, that--

344
00:18:11,481 --> 00:18:13,266
Good girl? Ha!

345
00:18:13,266 --> 00:18:15,877
- Oh, frank, no!
- Oh, God.

346
00:18:15,877 --> 00:18:18,880
What the hell
are you talking about?

347
00:18:21,883 --> 00:18:24,277
Is that true, Marie?

348
00:18:30,196 --> 00:18:33,460
Go ahead, Marie.
I won't tell anyone.

349
00:18:37,768 --> 00:18:39,683
Okay! Yes!

350
00:18:50,781 --> 00:18:54,742
Frank and I succumbed
to temptation once

351
00:18:54,742 --> 00:18:57,614
just once
before we were married.

352
00:18:57,614 --> 00:18:59,964
I-I was weak

353
00:18:59,964 --> 00:19:03,794
a-and I fell for your father's
boyish good looks.

354
00:19:07,363 --> 00:19:09,496
That was a long time ago.

355
00:19:12,499 --> 00:19:15,371
I knew it, I knew we shouldn't
do what we did

356
00:19:15,371 --> 00:19:18,418
but we were in love,
right, Frank?

357
00:19:18,418 --> 00:19:20,507
I wanted sex.

358
00:19:27,383 --> 00:19:29,385
It was a long time ago.

359
00:19:32,562 --> 00:19:35,304
So it was just the once,
and then you got married?

360
00:19:35,304 --> 00:19:37,654
It was just the once,
and then we had to get married!

361
00:19:37,654 --> 00:19:39,395
Frank, no!

362
00:19:41,005 --> 00:19:44,879
Oh, whoa. Had to get married?

363
00:19:44,879 --> 00:19:46,228
Wait. Wait a minute.

364
00:19:46,228 --> 00:19:48,012
So Robert's...

365
00:19:49,449 --> 00:19:51,015
What?

366
00:19:53,409 --> 00:19:54,845
Oh.

367
00:19:57,196 --> 00:20:00,851
Alright. I-it's true.

368
00:20:00,851 --> 00:20:03,289
We got married...

369
00:20:03,289 --> 00:20:06,944
...after I found out
I was pregnant.

370
00:20:06,944 --> 00:20:11,471
And then Robbie came along
seven months later.

371
00:20:11,471 --> 00:20:15,126
Our plan was to tell people
he was two months premature.

372
00:20:16,954 --> 00:20:18,913
Then he was born.

373
00:20:18,913 --> 00:20:22,221
Try passing off a 12-pound baby
as premature.

374
00:20:28,575 --> 00:20:30,838
Try passing it, period.

375
00:20:32,579 --> 00:20:34,233
Alright. Wait a minute.

376
00:20:34,233 --> 00:20:37,236
Wait, i-it's nine months, right?

377
00:20:37,236 --> 00:20:40,935
Y-you were married in September,
and my birthday's in June.

378
00:20:40,935 --> 00:20:44,460
That's when we told you
your birthday was.

379
00:20:44,460 --> 00:20:46,070
What?

380
00:20:46,070 --> 00:20:48,769
It was, it was easier
that way, Robbie.

381
00:20:48,769 --> 00:20:51,859
Oh, well, as long
as it was easy!

382
00:20:55,515 --> 00:20:57,343
Well, there you go, Raymond.

383
00:20:57,343 --> 00:21:01,216
You were conceived legitimately.

384
00:21:01,216 --> 00:21:03,174
You win again.

385
00:21:05,351 --> 00:21:07,657
Come on, Robert, what?
There's no winning.

386
00:21:16,362 --> 00:21:18,625
Well, I guess I should know.

387
00:21:18,625 --> 00:21:21,758
- When is my real birthday?
- April 6th.

388
00:21:23,891 --> 00:21:25,414
That's today.

389
00:21:29,766 --> 00:21:31,594
Surprise.

390
00:21:42,649 --> 00:21:54,748
♪ Happy birthday to you

391
00:21:54,748 --> 00:22:01,015
♪ Happy birthday dear Robert

392
00:22:01,015 --> 00:22:06,499
♪ Happy birthday to you ♪

393
00:22:06,499 --> 00:22:09,502
- 'Happy birthday.'
- 'Happy birthday, honey.'

394
00:22:09,502 --> 00:22:12,243
♪ How old am I now ♪


