1 00:00:05,806 --> 00:00:07,141 Okay, honey, finish up. 2 00:00:07,208 --> 00:00:08,209 We've got to get to school. 3 00:00:08,276 --> 00:00:09,443 Mom? Yeah? 4 00:00:09,510 --> 00:00:11,445 Does this map look like Portugal? 5 00:00:11,512 --> 00:00:15,049 I have no idea. 6 00:00:15,116 --> 00:00:17,285 But nobody knows what Portugal looks like. 7 00:00:17,351 --> 00:00:19,753 I mean, even the Portuguese think they live in Spain. 8 00:00:19,820 --> 00:00:22,156 Sorry I'm late. 9 00:00:22,223 --> 00:00:24,358 This is all I could find. 10 00:00:24,425 --> 00:00:26,927 It's port wine from Portugal. 11 00:00:26,994 --> 00:00:28,662 Wine? 12 00:00:28,729 --> 00:00:31,299 You were supposed to get decorations for the class. 13 00:00:31,365 --> 00:00:33,367 Sorry. I tried to go this morning, but there was 14 00:00:33,434 --> 00:00:36,637 this huge line at Portuguese Party City. 15 00:00:36,704 --> 00:00:38,406 Really? 16 00:00:38,472 --> 00:00:40,841 No. There's no Portuguese Party City. 17 00:00:40,908 --> 00:00:42,243 There's no Portuguese anything. 18 00:00:42,310 --> 00:00:43,944 How'd we end up with Portugal anyway? 19 00:00:44,011 --> 00:00:45,179 I was working during the sign-up, 20 00:00:45,246 --> 00:00:46,614 and by the time I got there, 21 00:00:46,680 --> 00:00:48,482 the only country left was Portugal. 22 00:00:48,549 --> 00:00:50,518 There's a Portuguese family in the class, 23 00:00:50,584 --> 00:00:52,820 and even they picked Jamaica. 24 00:00:52,886 --> 00:00:54,555 Ritchie, come on. We're late. We're late. 25 00:00:54,622 --> 00:00:56,590 I don't want to be late for this. Get ready. 26 00:00:56,657 --> 00:00:57,691 What should I wear? 27 00:00:57,758 --> 00:01:00,261 We're supposed to dress like our country. 28 00:01:00,328 --> 00:01:01,262 Well, wear anything. 29 00:01:01,329 --> 00:01:02,663 Just stand next to the kid 30 00:01:02,730 --> 00:01:04,098 who's dressed as Spain, everyone will buy it. 31 00:01:04,165 --> 00:01:06,434 Okay. 32 00:01:06,500 --> 00:01:08,336 You think they eat Raisin Bran in Portugal? 33 00:01:08,402 --> 00:01:09,970 Yes, but in Portugal, they call it 34 00:01:10,037 --> 00:01:12,240 ( Portuguese accent ): Raisin Bran. 35 00:01:14,675 --> 00:01:15,743 ( groans ) 36 00:01:15,809 --> 00:01:17,378 I don't want to do this. 37 00:01:17,445 --> 00:01:19,180 Well, why'd you sign up for it? 38 00:01:19,247 --> 00:01:20,581 Richard, you don't know this school. 39 00:01:20,648 --> 00:01:22,116 They've got, like, a million events a week, 40 00:01:22,183 --> 00:01:23,584 and you've got to volunteer, 41 00:01:23,651 --> 00:01:25,653 and if you don't, they completely ostracize you. 42 00:01:25,719 --> 00:01:30,291 I'm telling you, those moms are scary, snobby and judgmental. 43 00:01:30,358 --> 00:01:31,859 And you're not judgmental? 44 00:01:31,925 --> 00:01:36,230 Hey, it's not called judgmental when you're right. 45 00:01:36,297 --> 00:01:38,699 It's called... "right." 46 00:01:39,933 --> 00:01:42,336 I know Ritchie likes it there and everything, 47 00:01:42,403 --> 00:01:44,338 but, God, I wish I fit in better, you know? 48 00:01:44,405 --> 00:01:47,741 Is this Portuguese? 49 00:01:47,808 --> 00:01:51,412 Hold this. 50 00:01:51,479 --> 00:01:53,614 Yeah, it's close enough. Let's go. 51 00:01:53,681 --> 00:01:55,149 Give me a hug, quick. 52 00:01:55,216 --> 00:01:56,917 Big hug. 53 00:01:56,984 --> 00:01:59,987 Adios or whatever. 54 00:02:00,053 --> 00:02:01,054 Your map of Portugal. 55 00:02:01,121 --> 00:02:02,055 Map of Portugal. 56 00:02:02,122 --> 00:02:03,191 There you go. 57 00:02:03,257 --> 00:02:04,192 Play nice. 58 00:02:04,258 --> 00:02:05,493 You, too, Ritchie. 59 00:02:07,295 --> 00:02:10,464 Ah... Portugal. 60 00:02:11,699 --> 00:02:13,100 Jewel of Iberia... 61 00:02:13,167 --> 00:02:16,437 largest producer of cork in the world. 62 00:02:16,504 --> 00:02:19,473 And that's all I know about Portugal. 63 00:02:19,540 --> 00:02:23,344 And yet, you still might be the world's foremost authority. 64 00:02:24,412 --> 00:02:25,879 All right, I'm going to get going. 65 00:02:25,946 --> 00:02:26,880 I'll see you later. 66 00:02:26,947 --> 00:02:28,582 All right. Whatever. 67 00:02:29,583 --> 00:02:31,752 Something the matter? No. 68 00:02:31,819 --> 00:02:33,654 It's just, the minute the two of us are alone, 69 00:02:33,721 --> 00:02:34,988 you can't wait to get out of here. 70 00:02:35,055 --> 00:02:36,490 That's not true. 71 00:02:36,557 --> 00:02:38,959 The other day, we had that long conversation about stamps, 72 00:02:39,026 --> 00:02:42,330 about how the price always goes up, but never goes down. 73 00:02:42,396 --> 00:02:45,032 Did you want to revisit that? 74 00:02:45,098 --> 00:02:46,133 You know what I'm talking about. 75 00:02:46,200 --> 00:02:47,368 You and Christine got divorced, 76 00:02:47,435 --> 00:02:49,870 and it's kind of like we did, too. 77 00:02:49,937 --> 00:02:51,439 But whatever. 78 00:02:51,505 --> 00:02:54,575 I guess I'm the jerk for even caring. 79 00:02:54,642 --> 00:02:56,176 Are you serious? 80 00:02:56,244 --> 00:02:57,511 Forget I said anything. 81 00:02:57,578 --> 00:03:00,681 I guess I'm the ass for bringing it up. 82 00:03:00,748 --> 00:03:01,749 Okay, okay. 83 00:03:01,815 --> 00:03:02,850 You know what, I'm sorry. 84 00:03:02,916 --> 00:03:03,851 You're right. 85 00:03:03,917 --> 00:03:06,086 I guess things have changed. 86 00:03:06,153 --> 00:03:07,721 Look, I've got errands, and then later, 87 00:03:07,788 --> 00:03:09,490 I'm taking Ritchie to the batting cages. 88 00:03:09,557 --> 00:03:11,359 You're welcome to come along if you want. 89 00:03:11,425 --> 00:03:12,893 Really? We could spend the day together? 90 00:03:12,960 --> 00:03:14,228 Yeah. It'll be fun. 91 00:03:14,295 --> 00:03:16,129 We'll grab some burgers, go to the batting cages. 92 00:03:16,196 --> 00:03:17,130 Anything you want. 93 00:03:17,197 --> 00:03:18,232 That would be great, Dad. 94 00:03:18,299 --> 00:03:19,099 Did you just...? No. 95 00:03:19,166 --> 00:03:20,334 Good. 96 00:03:31,011 --> 00:03:32,780 Good morning, ladies. 97 00:03:32,846 --> 00:03:35,816 Or should I say bonjour and... 98 00:03:35,883 --> 00:03:38,519 ( with Cockney accent ) hello. 99 00:03:38,586 --> 00:03:39,687 Oh, good, Portugal's here. 100 00:03:39,753 --> 00:03:41,955 We saved that wall for you, Christine. 101 00:03:42,022 --> 00:03:44,858 Oh. Great, I get the whole wall. 102 00:03:44,925 --> 00:03:46,794 Okay. 103 00:03:46,860 --> 00:03:48,962 Just set up. 104 00:03:49,029 --> 00:03:50,964 ( clears throat ) 105 00:04:12,286 --> 00:04:13,854 ( clears throat ) 106 00:04:13,921 --> 00:04:15,222 Exports. 107 00:04:15,289 --> 00:04:17,991 Imports. 108 00:04:18,058 --> 00:04:20,928 Portugal. 109 00:04:23,130 --> 00:04:26,834 Yeah, you know, Christine, you don't have to stay. 110 00:04:26,900 --> 00:04:30,438 I'm sure you have a shift to run off to or something. 111 00:04:30,504 --> 00:04:32,606 Oh, no, no, I don't work shifts, Marly. 112 00:04:32,673 --> 00:04:34,274 I assign shifts to people, 113 00:04:34,342 --> 00:04:35,643 'cause I'm the boss. 114 00:04:35,709 --> 00:04:36,977 I have a corporate credit card. 115 00:04:37,044 --> 00:04:38,979 I've got 35 points accumulated. 116 00:04:39,046 --> 00:04:41,482 2,000 more, I get a flashlight radio. 117 00:04:41,549 --> 00:04:44,785 ( laughing ) 118 00:04:49,457 --> 00:04:51,992 So you want to open up the bottle of port? 119 00:04:52,059 --> 00:04:53,794 It's 8:30 in the morning. 120 00:04:53,861 --> 00:04:55,295 Oh. 121 00:04:55,363 --> 00:04:57,465 You don't have any vodka, do you? 122 00:04:57,531 --> 00:04:58,899 Yeah, where's Russia? 123 00:04:58,966 --> 00:05:01,268 ( laughing ) 124 00:05:01,335 --> 00:05:04,237 Oh, you know what would be a big help? 125 00:05:04,304 --> 00:05:06,340 If you could set out the plates for the international feast. 126 00:05:06,407 --> 00:05:07,875 Oh, sure. 127 00:05:09,743 --> 00:05:11,545 So I have this new guy cooking for us. 128 00:05:11,612 --> 00:05:14,047 He can do anything: Zone, South Beach, Atkins. 129 00:05:14,114 --> 00:05:16,116 He's fantastic, and he's cheap. 130 00:05:16,183 --> 00:05:17,351 How much? Oh, I don't know. 131 00:05:17,418 --> 00:05:18,686 ( laughing ) 132 00:05:21,989 --> 00:05:24,792 Oh, shoot, I didn't bring enough double-stick tape. 133 00:05:24,858 --> 00:05:26,494 Christine, could you run to the storage room 134 00:05:26,560 --> 00:05:27,628 and grab some more? 135 00:05:27,695 --> 00:05:28,862 Me? 136 00:05:28,929 --> 00:05:32,766 Yeah. I'd go myself, but I have nice shoes on. 137 00:05:32,833 --> 00:05:34,802 Oh, nice shoes. 138 00:05:34,868 --> 00:05:36,937 Yeah, I wouldn't know about that. 139 00:05:37,004 --> 00:05:39,339 I get all my shoes at the car wash. 140 00:05:41,875 --> 00:05:43,377 She works at a car wash? 141 00:05:43,444 --> 00:05:45,579 Yeah. Mm. 142 00:05:45,646 --> 00:05:48,048 ( sighs ) God. 143 00:05:48,115 --> 00:05:51,385 My shoes are nice. 144 00:05:51,452 --> 00:05:55,122 I spent $40 on these shoes. 145 00:05:55,188 --> 00:05:57,758 God, I hate those women. 146 00:05:57,825 --> 00:05:59,092 Which women? 147 00:06:03,030 --> 00:06:04,565 All women. 148 00:06:04,632 --> 00:06:07,334 I mean, it's enough with them already, right? 149 00:06:07,401 --> 00:06:11,405 You wouldn't happen to be talking about those meanie moms? 150 00:06:11,472 --> 00:06:13,240 I'm sorry, I can't afford a personal chef. 151 00:06:13,306 --> 00:06:16,043 I don't have time to take a three-hour yoga class. 152 00:06:16,109 --> 00:06:17,144 I work. 153 00:06:17,210 --> 00:06:18,612 Women are allowed to work. 154 00:06:18,679 --> 00:06:21,214 Doesn't make them bad people or bad mothers. 155 00:06:21,281 --> 00:06:22,315 Exactly. 156 00:06:22,382 --> 00:06:23,250 I work. 157 00:06:23,316 --> 00:06:24,885 Oh, my God. 158 00:06:24,952 --> 00:06:27,521 You're the first woman I've met at this school with a job. 159 00:06:27,588 --> 00:06:30,123 No, no, there was another one in the fourth grade, yeah. 160 00:06:30,190 --> 00:06:31,592 But they got to her. 161 00:06:31,659 --> 00:06:33,326 They reprogrammed her at Nordstrom's. 162 00:06:33,393 --> 00:06:35,429 ( laughing ) 163 00:06:35,496 --> 00:06:37,264 I love you. Oh. 164 00:06:37,330 --> 00:06:38,866 I... love you, too. 165 00:06:38,932 --> 00:06:40,300 Where are we going with this? 166 00:06:40,367 --> 00:06:41,401 No, I'm sorry. 167 00:06:41,469 --> 00:06:43,437 I just get excited. 168 00:06:43,504 --> 00:06:44,605 I'm Christine. 169 00:06:44,672 --> 00:06:46,173 Belinda. Oh. 170 00:06:46,239 --> 00:06:47,074 So nice. 171 00:06:47,140 --> 00:06:48,542 Nice to meet you. 172 00:06:48,609 --> 00:06:49,610 Well, I better go. 173 00:06:49,677 --> 00:06:51,078 Otherwise, I'll get in trouble. 174 00:06:51,144 --> 00:06:53,113 They sent me to fetch sticky tape. 175 00:06:53,180 --> 00:06:56,016 Why don't you come have a cup of coffee with me instead? 176 00:06:56,083 --> 00:06:57,184 Really? 177 00:06:57,250 --> 00:06:58,852 Yeah. Blow them off. 178 00:06:58,919 --> 00:07:00,954 Yeah. Yeah! 179 00:07:01,021 --> 00:07:02,690 Why am I running errands for them? 180 00:07:02,756 --> 00:07:04,157 They treat me like crap. 181 00:07:04,224 --> 00:07:07,127 They even stuck me with the suckiest country. 182 00:07:07,194 --> 00:07:08,829 Portugal. 183 00:07:08,896 --> 00:07:12,265 I'm Portuguese. 184 00:07:12,332 --> 00:07:16,637 Well, here's the thing: 185 00:07:16,704 --> 00:07:20,440 hate the country, love the people. 186 00:07:20,508 --> 00:07:21,675 ( laughing ) 187 00:07:21,742 --> 00:07:24,377 Do you still want to have coffee? 188 00:07:24,444 --> 00:07:26,780 Absolutely. Oh, great. 189 00:07:26,847 --> 00:07:29,550 Okay, I really will stop gushing in a minute. 190 00:07:29,617 --> 00:07:31,552 But when we walked out into that parking lot, 191 00:07:31,619 --> 00:07:35,255 and I saw that you drive a Prius, too, 192 00:07:35,322 --> 00:07:37,390 I almost wept. 193 00:07:37,457 --> 00:07:39,359 I'm not alone anymore. 194 00:07:39,426 --> 00:07:40,561 Oh! 195 00:07:40,628 --> 00:07:41,595 I didn't ask you, though, 196 00:07:41,662 --> 00:07:43,096 are you married or...? 197 00:07:43,163 --> 00:07:44,197 Divorced. 198 00:07:44,264 --> 00:07:46,099 ( gasps ): Are you kidding me? 199 00:07:46,166 --> 00:07:48,035 That's fantastic! 200 00:07:48,101 --> 00:07:51,104 My marriage was a miserable failure, too. 201 00:07:51,171 --> 00:07:54,007 No, actually, we're still really good friends. 202 00:07:54,074 --> 00:07:57,210 I'm still really good friends with my ex-husband! 203 00:07:57,277 --> 00:07:58,278 You're kidding! 204 00:07:58,345 --> 00:07:59,346 No, I am not. 205 00:07:59,412 --> 00:08:00,948 We are the exact same person. 206 00:08:01,014 --> 00:08:01,882 I know. 207 00:08:01,949 --> 00:08:03,183 So let me ask you something. 208 00:08:03,250 --> 00:08:05,919 Do you ever let your armpit hair grow out, 209 00:08:05,986 --> 00:08:08,989 just to see how long it'll get? 210 00:08:09,056 --> 00:08:11,191 Eww. No. 211 00:08:11,258 --> 00:08:12,259 Do you? 212 00:08:12,325 --> 00:08:15,696 No. 213 00:08:15,763 --> 00:08:16,697 That's gross. 214 00:08:16,764 --> 00:08:18,265 Gross! Totally. 215 00:08:18,331 --> 00:08:21,702 Listen, I really do have to say that I never, ever thought 216 00:08:21,769 --> 00:08:24,104 I would fit in anywhere in that school. 217 00:08:24,171 --> 00:08:26,206 And I'm just so happy to have met you. 218 00:08:27,307 --> 00:08:28,308 Christine? 219 00:08:28,375 --> 00:08:29,743 What are you doing here? 220 00:08:29,810 --> 00:08:34,081 I'm having coffee with my new friend, Marly. 221 00:08:34,147 --> 00:08:35,716 What in the hell are you doing here? 222 00:08:35,783 --> 00:08:37,585 This is my house, 223 00:08:37,651 --> 00:08:40,220 and your friend is my housekeeper. 224 00:08:51,164 --> 00:08:52,733 You did great out there today, man. 225 00:08:52,800 --> 00:08:53,934 Your swing is really coming along. 226 00:08:54,001 --> 00:08:55,803 I didn't hit the ball once. 227 00:08:55,869 --> 00:08:57,270 No, but the ball didn't hit you, either, 228 00:08:57,337 --> 00:08:59,740 so we're doing better than last time. 229 00:08:59,807 --> 00:09:01,241 Let's go, let's get washed up for dinner, slugger. 230 00:09:01,308 --> 00:09:02,442 Thanks, Dad. 231 00:09:02,509 --> 00:09:03,443 It's all right; you did great. 232 00:09:03,510 --> 00:09:04,444 Thanks, Uncle Matthew. 233 00:09:04,511 --> 00:09:05,579 I'm serious, chin up. 234 00:09:05,646 --> 00:09:07,114 You did great, really great. 235 00:09:07,180 --> 00:09:08,115 I'm proud of you, pal. 236 00:09:08,181 --> 00:09:11,218 God, why can't he be better at baseball? 237 00:09:11,284 --> 00:09:15,723 Or at least stop using the bat as a dance partner. 238 00:09:20,527 --> 00:09:21,595 RICHARD: Bad day? 239 00:09:21,662 --> 00:09:23,563 I made a new friend. 240 00:09:23,631 --> 00:09:25,132 I finally met someone at this school 241 00:09:25,198 --> 00:09:29,536 that I connect with, and she's Marly's maid. 242 00:09:29,603 --> 00:09:30,503 A maid? 243 00:09:30,570 --> 00:09:31,839 Oh, dear. 244 00:09:31,905 --> 00:09:33,306 And she has the audacity to hobnob 245 00:09:33,373 --> 00:09:35,909 with a wealthy industrialist like you? 246 00:09:37,344 --> 00:09:38,445 Don't tell the Vanderploots. 247 00:09:38,511 --> 00:09:40,580 They'll kick us out of the club. 248 00:09:40,648 --> 00:09:42,850 Richard, you know what I mean. 249 00:09:42,916 --> 00:09:45,819 It was just... it was a surprise. 250 00:09:45,886 --> 00:09:48,455 I mean, we had so much stuff in common. 251 00:09:48,521 --> 00:09:50,791 Yeah, you vacuumed once, didn't you? 252 00:09:52,425 --> 00:09:53,593 It was a long time ago. 253 00:09:53,661 --> 00:09:54,928 She borrowed the Flintstones' vacuum. 254 00:09:54,995 --> 00:09:57,597 It was an elephant on a stick. 255 00:09:57,665 --> 00:09:58,866 Yeah, you know what? 256 00:09:58,932 --> 00:10:00,133 You guys should talk. 257 00:10:00,200 --> 00:10:01,902 I've been in both of your bathrooms. 258 00:10:01,969 --> 00:10:05,238 It's like a poodle lives under your toilet. 259 00:10:05,305 --> 00:10:06,473 Okay, look, sorry. 260 00:10:06,539 --> 00:10:08,709 We're just trying to understand what the issue is. 261 00:10:08,776 --> 00:10:11,011 There is no issue. 262 00:10:11,078 --> 00:10:14,281 And you know damn well what the issue is. 263 00:10:14,347 --> 00:10:15,582 I am not a snob. 264 00:10:15,649 --> 00:10:17,050 I don't care about anything, 265 00:10:17,117 --> 00:10:18,819 except what's in a person's heart. 266 00:10:18,886 --> 00:10:20,487 To me, she's just a person, 267 00:10:20,553 --> 00:10:23,456 a very nice Portuguese person. 268 00:10:23,523 --> 00:10:24,491 That is a weird coincidence. 269 00:10:24,557 --> 00:10:26,326 I know. 270 00:10:26,393 --> 00:10:28,261 I mean, you don't hear about Portugal 271 00:10:28,328 --> 00:10:29,730 for, like, what, 30 years, 272 00:10:29,797 --> 00:10:32,432 and then suddenly, you can't get away from it. 273 00:10:32,499 --> 00:10:33,734 Wait, you don't want to be 274 00:10:33,801 --> 00:10:34,902 friends with her because she's a maid? 275 00:10:34,968 --> 00:10:36,670 No. I have to be friends with her. 276 00:10:36,737 --> 00:10:39,039 You're going to be friends with her because she's a maid? 277 00:10:39,106 --> 00:10:40,640 No. I want to be friends with her. 278 00:10:40,708 --> 00:10:41,641 I like her. 279 00:10:41,709 --> 00:10:43,243 Okay, so good. 280 00:10:43,310 --> 00:10:44,277 You could use a friend. 281 00:10:44,344 --> 00:10:48,115 Especially one who cleans. 282 00:10:48,181 --> 00:10:49,983 Maybe you could make a second friend who cooks. 283 00:10:50,050 --> 00:10:52,753 I haven't had a homemade meal in, like, a year and a half. 284 00:10:53,954 --> 00:10:55,255 I'm gonna change for dinner. 285 00:10:56,623 --> 00:10:58,258 Wait a minute. Why are you here? 286 00:10:58,325 --> 00:11:00,327 I took Ritchie and Matthew to the batting cages. 287 00:11:00,393 --> 00:11:02,963 He's been feeling a little neglected since the divorce. 288 00:11:03,030 --> 00:11:06,700 Ritchie? No. Surprisingly, Matthew. 289 00:11:06,767 --> 00:11:08,001 He almost hit the ball, though. 290 00:11:08,068 --> 00:11:08,902 Matthew? 291 00:11:08,969 --> 00:11:10,971 No. Surprisingly, Ritchie. 292 00:11:14,742 --> 00:11:16,676 Well, I just have to finish this ironing, 293 00:11:16,744 --> 00:11:18,011 and then we can take off. 294 00:11:18,078 --> 00:11:19,679 Okay, well, take your time. 295 00:11:19,747 --> 00:11:21,481 This is nice. 296 00:11:21,548 --> 00:11:25,085 I love a basement bedroom. 297 00:11:25,152 --> 00:11:28,388 This is where you want to be during a tornado. 298 00:11:30,423 --> 00:11:31,725 Belinda, I-I... Oh! 299 00:11:31,792 --> 00:11:33,861 I'm sorry, I didn't know you were entertaining. 300 00:11:33,927 --> 00:11:35,595 Hello, Christine. 301 00:11:35,662 --> 00:11:36,563 Hello. 302 00:11:36,629 --> 00:11:37,998 Uh, the book club is here, 303 00:11:38,065 --> 00:11:39,666 so if you could set the food out before you leave, 304 00:11:39,733 --> 00:11:41,935 that would be great, and, uh, you girls can help yourselves 305 00:11:42,002 --> 00:11:43,503 to a couple of sandwiches. 306 00:11:43,570 --> 00:11:45,773 Just a couple. 307 00:11:46,673 --> 00:11:48,075 Oh, thank you. Thank you. 308 00:11:48,141 --> 00:11:49,877 Thank you. 309 00:11:49,943 --> 00:11:51,879 Sorry. She has this book club. 310 00:11:51,945 --> 00:11:54,314 It's a couple of ladies from the school. 311 00:11:54,381 --> 00:11:55,415 My school? 312 00:11:55,482 --> 00:11:56,649 Yeah. 313 00:11:56,716 --> 00:11:57,785 They sit around and pretend they read, 314 00:11:57,851 --> 00:11:59,486 but mostly it's just gossip. 315 00:11:59,552 --> 00:12:02,355 Hey, if you help me real, we can get out of here really quick. 316 00:12:02,422 --> 00:12:03,991 Help you? 317 00:12:04,057 --> 00:12:05,592 Yeah, we just need to set out some sandwiches. 318 00:12:05,658 --> 00:12:08,461 Oh, uh, boy, 319 00:12:08,528 --> 00:12:11,464 I don't know how much of a help I would be. 320 00:12:11,531 --> 00:12:14,701 You know, I-I once worked for two weeks at McDonald's, 321 00:12:14,768 --> 00:12:17,771 and I accidentally gave away the secret 322 00:12:17,838 --> 00:12:20,941 to the secret sauce. 323 00:12:21,008 --> 00:12:25,112 It's-It's ketchup and mayonnaise, by the way. 324 00:12:27,014 --> 00:12:29,616 Christine, are you embarrassed by what I do? 325 00:12:29,682 --> 00:12:32,285 No, I'm not embarrassed at all, 326 00:12:32,352 --> 00:12:35,622 but why didn't you tell me you were Marly's housekeeper? 327 00:12:35,688 --> 00:12:37,090 I'm sorry. Should I have said, 328 00:12:37,157 --> 00:12:38,959 "Before you get too attached to me, you should know, 329 00:12:39,026 --> 00:12:40,393 I'm a housekeeper?" 330 00:12:40,460 --> 00:12:43,296 Well, you came right out with the Portuguese thing. 331 00:12:44,231 --> 00:12:45,698 I'm kidding, I'm kidding. 332 00:12:45,765 --> 00:12:47,734 No, I-I don't care what you do. 333 00:12:47,801 --> 00:12:49,602 I am not like one of them. 334 00:12:49,669 --> 00:12:52,439 Great. Then help me, so we can get out of here. 335 00:12:52,505 --> 00:12:54,541 Okay. I'll-I'll help you. 336 00:12:54,607 --> 00:12:57,010 I'm excited. Okay. 337 00:13:01,648 --> 00:13:04,051 Just grab a couple of bottles of Chardonnay and start pouring. 338 00:13:04,117 --> 00:13:05,052 I'll get the sandwiches. 339 00:13:05,118 --> 00:13:06,653 These bottles? Yeah. 340 00:13:06,719 --> 00:13:08,755 Christine, hi. 341 00:13:08,822 --> 00:13:10,623 Hi. 342 00:13:10,690 --> 00:13:13,793 Um, I thought we didn't invite... 343 00:13:13,861 --> 00:13:14,862 We didn't. 344 00:13:14,928 --> 00:13:16,796 She's here with Belinda. 345 00:13:16,864 --> 00:13:18,331 But I thought you fired... 346 00:13:18,398 --> 00:13:20,667 I didn't. 347 00:13:20,733 --> 00:13:23,070 Hi. I'm just helping out. 348 00:13:23,136 --> 00:13:25,038 I'm a parent at Westbridge. 349 00:13:25,105 --> 00:13:27,674 Actually, our kids are in the same class. 350 00:13:27,740 --> 00:13:29,676 Oh, The Kite Runner. 351 00:13:29,742 --> 00:13:32,512 Oh, what a great book. 352 00:13:32,579 --> 00:13:36,383 The writing is super lyrical. 353 00:13:36,449 --> 00:13:37,617 Oh, not that Chardonnay. 354 00:13:37,684 --> 00:13:38,886 Uh, could you see if there's any more Stag's Leap? 355 00:13:38,952 --> 00:13:40,720 Uh, I'll have a Merlot. 356 00:13:40,787 --> 00:13:42,322 Oh, I'll have Merlot, too. 357 00:13:42,389 --> 00:13:44,858 Would you see if there's any bubble water in the Fridge? 358 00:13:44,925 --> 00:13:47,594 Yes. 359 00:13:47,660 --> 00:13:51,231 "For you, a thousand times, yes." 360 00:13:51,298 --> 00:13:54,101 Thank you. 361 00:13:54,167 --> 00:13:56,669 No, that's a line, um, 362 00:13:56,736 --> 00:13:58,171 uh, from the book. 363 00:13:58,238 --> 00:14:00,407 It's a... It's the famous line from... 364 00:14:00,473 --> 00:14:02,575 I'll be right back with your order. 365 00:14:05,778 --> 00:14:08,848 Belinda, I hope you don't mind, but I'm going to head home. 366 00:14:08,916 --> 00:14:10,550 We can just hang out another time. 367 00:14:10,617 --> 00:14:12,752 Oh, no, don't. Christine, I know this is weird for you, 368 00:14:12,819 --> 00:14:14,354 but if you just... if you just help me out, 369 00:14:14,421 --> 00:14:15,956 we'll get out of here very quickly. 370 00:14:16,023 --> 00:14:17,690 I don't think I can... Christine, please. 371 00:14:17,757 --> 00:14:21,628 Marly's is just... she's looking for an excuse to fire me, 372 00:14:21,694 --> 00:14:24,864 and I really need this job, so, please, please help me out. 373 00:14:24,932 --> 00:14:26,633 Ugh! Okay. 374 00:14:26,699 --> 00:14:27,867 I'll help you out. 375 00:14:27,935 --> 00:14:29,002 Thank you. 376 00:14:29,069 --> 00:14:30,737 Uh-oh. Who let the hens out? 377 00:14:30,803 --> 00:14:34,107 ( women laughing ) 378 00:14:34,174 --> 00:14:36,143 Charles, honey, what are you doing here? 379 00:14:36,209 --> 00:14:37,877 I have my book club meeting, remember? 380 00:14:37,945 --> 00:14:39,446 Oh, don't worry, I'll clear out. 381 00:14:39,512 --> 00:14:42,082 Let you ladies do your reading and drinking. 382 00:14:42,149 --> 00:14:43,816 ( laughter ) 383 00:14:43,883 --> 00:14:45,152 Thank you, darling. 384 00:14:47,988 --> 00:14:50,257 So, what did everybody think about the book? 385 00:14:50,323 --> 00:14:51,291 Lindsay? 386 00:14:51,358 --> 00:14:53,460 Oh, yeah. 387 00:14:53,526 --> 00:14:55,562 It was amazing. 388 00:14:55,628 --> 00:14:56,563 You didn't read it, did you? 389 00:14:56,629 --> 00:14:58,098 I had a rough week. 390 00:14:58,165 --> 00:15:00,167 Jackson was sick, and Kelsey came home crying. 391 00:15:00,233 --> 00:15:01,734 There's another Kelsey in her class, 392 00:15:01,801 --> 00:15:05,138 and now, they call my daughter "Big Kelsey." 393 00:15:05,205 --> 00:15:06,673 Lindsay, no kid talk. 394 00:15:06,739 --> 00:15:08,875 We get enough of that when the nannies take a break. 395 00:15:08,942 --> 00:15:09,876 Let's talk about the book. 396 00:15:09,943 --> 00:15:11,211 Well, I loved it. 397 00:15:11,278 --> 00:15:12,912 You know what else I love? 398 00:15:12,980 --> 00:15:14,114 Hummus. Hmm. 399 00:15:14,181 --> 00:15:15,548 Couldn't stop thinking about it 400 00:15:15,615 --> 00:15:17,750 when they described the Middle Easterny part. 401 00:15:17,817 --> 00:15:19,019 Oh, hummus. 402 00:15:19,086 --> 00:15:20,954 Fun idea. Belinda! 403 00:15:21,021 --> 00:15:22,689 Christine, where is Belinda? 404 00:15:28,128 --> 00:15:30,463 Uh, I guess she stepped away. 405 00:15:30,530 --> 00:15:32,532 Ugh! I'm going to have to let that girl go. 406 00:15:32,599 --> 00:15:34,467 ( groaning ) Oh, but I'm sure 407 00:15:34,534 --> 00:15:35,568 she's coming right back. 408 00:15:35,635 --> 00:15:36,970 Is there anything I can do to help? 409 00:15:37,037 --> 00:15:37,971 We need hummus. 410 00:15:38,038 --> 00:15:39,172 And sangria. 411 00:15:39,239 --> 00:15:40,207 Ooh, that sounds good. Yeah. 412 00:15:40,273 --> 00:15:41,608 Oh, that does sound good. 413 00:15:41,674 --> 00:15:43,076 Roasted red peppers. 414 00:15:43,910 --> 00:15:45,478 Oh, me make it. 415 00:15:45,545 --> 00:15:47,547 Right. 416 00:15:49,716 --> 00:15:50,950 Belinda, are you in there? 417 00:15:51,018 --> 00:15:52,485 I need you. 418 00:16:05,898 --> 00:16:07,934 Christine, for God's sake, 419 00:16:08,001 --> 00:16:09,436 I asked for that sangria a week ago. 420 00:16:09,502 --> 00:16:10,337 Where's Belinda? 421 00:16:10,403 --> 00:16:12,405 Oh, she's not feeling well. 422 00:16:12,472 --> 00:16:14,174 She's lying down. 423 00:16:14,241 --> 00:16:17,110 Probably. By now. 424 00:16:18,011 --> 00:16:19,912 Oh, God, that girl. 425 00:16:19,979 --> 00:16:21,914 Is this whole house falling apart? 426 00:16:21,981 --> 00:16:23,383 ( quietly ): Oh. 427 00:16:23,450 --> 00:16:24,551 Oh! 428 00:16:24,617 --> 00:16:26,786 Christine, what are you...? Get off of me! 429 00:16:26,853 --> 00:16:27,987 ( sighs ) 430 00:16:28,055 --> 00:16:31,058 Just forget the sangria. Bring some wine. 431 00:16:31,124 --> 00:16:33,193 Uh, Marly, you know, 432 00:16:33,260 --> 00:16:35,862 I don't work for you. 433 00:16:35,928 --> 00:16:38,798 And I quit. 434 00:16:38,865 --> 00:16:39,699 What? 435 00:16:39,766 --> 00:16:40,967 You know, I have been 436 00:16:41,034 --> 00:16:44,271 such a good sport up until now, but, I mean, 437 00:16:44,337 --> 00:16:45,638 I'm getting really tired 438 00:16:45,705 --> 00:16:47,707 of you and your friends looking down on me. 439 00:16:47,774 --> 00:16:49,409 Well, why would we look down on you? 440 00:16:49,476 --> 00:16:50,977 Just because ever since you came to this school 441 00:16:51,044 --> 00:16:52,445 the only person 442 00:16:52,512 --> 00:16:54,447 you've had something in common with is my maid? 443 00:16:56,449 --> 00:16:59,086 You know, uh, I could say something right now 444 00:16:59,152 --> 00:17:02,021 that would really hurt, too. 445 00:17:02,089 --> 00:17:04,023 But I'm not going to do that. 446 00:17:04,091 --> 00:17:06,559 Because I'm a much nicer person than that. 447 00:17:09,028 --> 00:17:11,531 You're too tan. 448 00:17:11,598 --> 00:17:13,533 You know what would be great, Christine? 449 00:17:13,600 --> 00:17:15,735 If you could stop judging me for, like, a minute 450 00:17:15,802 --> 00:17:17,270 and give me a break. 451 00:17:17,337 --> 00:17:18,838 Me judging you? 452 00:17:18,905 --> 00:17:21,441 Yeah, well, you... you've got it easy, okay? 453 00:17:21,508 --> 00:17:23,476 You don't care what people think about you. 454 00:17:23,543 --> 00:17:27,013 You don't try to impress people with your car, or your marriage. 455 00:17:27,080 --> 00:17:28,915 Your clothes. 456 00:17:28,981 --> 00:17:30,750 I mean, you cut your own hair. 457 00:17:30,817 --> 00:17:33,620 I don't cut my own hair. 458 00:17:34,654 --> 00:17:37,290 This cost 60 bucks. 459 00:17:37,357 --> 00:17:40,059 Okay, you don't spend a lot of money on your hair. 460 00:17:40,127 --> 00:17:41,661 The point is, 461 00:17:41,728 --> 00:17:43,830 you seem very comfortable with yourself, 462 00:17:43,896 --> 00:17:48,501 and that, you know, makes me uncomfortable. 463 00:17:48,568 --> 00:17:52,105 Well, just because I'm comfortable with myself 464 00:17:52,172 --> 00:17:54,341 doesn't mean I don't want to fit in. 465 00:17:54,407 --> 00:17:56,509 What, you want to fit in with us? 466 00:17:56,576 --> 00:17:58,278 Yeah. 467 00:17:58,345 --> 00:18:00,513 I mean, you guys could try and be a little nicer 468 00:18:00,580 --> 00:18:02,315 to me at school. 469 00:18:02,382 --> 00:18:04,817 Okay, well, we could try. 470 00:18:04,884 --> 00:18:05,852 Thank you. 471 00:18:05,918 --> 00:18:06,719 Okay. 472 00:18:06,786 --> 00:18:07,620 Okay. 473 00:18:07,687 --> 00:18:08,621 Good. Good. 474 00:18:08,688 --> 00:18:10,457 This is good. This is good. 475 00:18:11,591 --> 00:18:14,327 For you. 476 00:18:15,228 --> 00:18:17,964 A tip. No, Marly, that's not... 477 00:18:18,030 --> 00:18:19,966 Ooh, 100 bucks. 478 00:18:20,032 --> 00:18:21,468 Whoa, thank you. 479 00:18:21,534 --> 00:18:24,036 Somebody's getting a haircut. 480 00:18:24,103 --> 00:18:29,075 And a new pair of shoes. 481 00:18:29,142 --> 00:18:31,978 I'm not looking, I'm not looking. 482 00:18:32,044 --> 00:18:33,180 Just want to get my purse. 483 00:18:33,246 --> 00:18:35,081 I don't want to see anything, 484 00:18:35,148 --> 00:18:37,016 or, God forbid, touch anything. 485 00:18:37,083 --> 00:18:39,219 It's okay, he's gone. 486 00:18:40,119 --> 00:18:42,088 Yeah. Well, I am leaving. 487 00:18:42,155 --> 00:18:43,856 I want to thank you 488 00:18:43,923 --> 00:18:46,693 for a particularly humiliating afternoon. 489 00:18:46,759 --> 00:18:47,694 Are you mad at me? 490 00:18:47,760 --> 00:18:48,795 Mad at you? 491 00:18:48,861 --> 00:18:50,129 Oh, no, that was great. 492 00:18:50,197 --> 00:18:51,431 I don't know which part was my favorite. 493 00:18:51,498 --> 00:18:52,865 Serving drinks to the meanie moms 494 00:18:52,932 --> 00:18:55,968 or watching Marly's husband massage your gums 495 00:18:56,035 --> 00:18:59,038 with his tongue. 496 00:18:59,105 --> 00:19:01,073 I know, I'm sorry. 497 00:19:01,140 --> 00:19:03,075 I should have locked the door. 498 00:19:03,142 --> 00:19:05,878 Yeah. 499 00:19:05,945 --> 00:19:11,551 It's pretty much the only thing that was wrong with it. 500 00:19:11,618 --> 00:19:13,386 You know, I'm not Marly's biggest fan, 501 00:19:13,453 --> 00:19:16,088 but she really doesn't deserve this. 502 00:19:16,155 --> 00:19:18,425 Yeah, I know it's wrong, it's wrong. 503 00:19:18,491 --> 00:19:21,761 But I hope that you and I can still be friends. 504 00:19:21,828 --> 00:19:23,663 Yeah... 505 00:19:23,730 --> 00:19:25,898 I don't think so. 506 00:19:25,965 --> 00:19:27,166 Why? 507 00:19:27,234 --> 00:19:28,301 Because I'm Portuguese? 508 00:19:28,368 --> 00:19:29,869 Because I'm a maid? 509 00:19:29,936 --> 00:19:32,004 Uh, no. 510 00:19:32,071 --> 00:19:34,907 It's because, well, 511 00:19:34,974 --> 00:19:38,177 you're kind of a whore. 512 00:19:44,116 --> 00:19:45,252 So, what's up for tomorrow? 513 00:19:45,318 --> 00:19:46,853 Well, we should definitely get together. 514 00:19:46,919 --> 00:19:48,120 I could swing by after work, maybe we'll catch a movie. 515 00:19:48,187 --> 00:19:49,889 Great. 516 00:19:49,956 --> 00:19:51,057 I don't want to. 517 00:19:51,123 --> 00:19:53,360 Oh, thank God. 518 00:19:53,426 --> 00:19:54,961 You know, when you and Christine were married, 519 00:19:55,027 --> 00:19:56,329 we spent a combined total 520 00:19:56,396 --> 00:19:57,597 of about three and a half hours alone together. 521 00:19:57,664 --> 00:19:58,798 And that was over 15 years. 522 00:19:58,865 --> 00:20:00,833 That seemed about the right amount. 523 00:20:00,900 --> 00:20:02,402 So I'll see you around. 524 00:20:02,469 --> 00:20:04,404 Maybe we can do something, just the two of us, next spring. 525 00:20:04,471 --> 00:20:05,638 Well, that'd be great, Dad. 526 00:20:05,705 --> 00:20:06,506 What? 527 00:20:06,573 --> 00:20:07,507 Bye. 528 00:20:07,574 --> 00:20:09,276 Bye.