1 00:00:05,639 --> 00:00:10,078 Okay, what's the temperature in... Acapulco? 2 00:00:11,479 --> 00:00:13,281 I don't want to play "guess the temperature." 3 00:00:13,347 --> 00:00:16,217 Come on, it's a good game. Acapulco. 4 00:00:18,452 --> 00:00:19,553 Seventy-two. 5 00:00:19,620 --> 00:00:21,189 No. Think. 6 00:00:22,056 --> 00:00:23,324 Three hundred. 7 00:00:23,391 --> 00:00:26,094 Wrong. You now owe me $10 million. 8 00:00:26,160 --> 00:00:27,928 ( doorbell ringing ) 9 00:00:27,995 --> 00:00:29,497 Okay, new game. 10 00:00:29,563 --> 00:00:31,132 I give you the name of the deceased. 11 00:00:31,199 --> 00:00:34,102 You tell me what they want in lieu of flowers. 12 00:00:34,168 --> 00:00:35,936 Edna Rosenblatt. 13 00:00:36,003 --> 00:00:38,706 Tree in Israel. 14 00:00:38,772 --> 00:00:40,608 Okay, we're tied. 15 00:00:41,842 --> 00:00:45,779 No... It's New Christine. 16 00:00:45,846 --> 00:00:47,248 I don't want to talk to her. 17 00:00:47,315 --> 00:00:48,949 Well, you can't just leave her out there. 18 00:00:49,016 --> 00:00:51,085 Well, what could she possibly want? 19 00:00:51,152 --> 00:00:53,887 She already got my ex-husband. 20 00:00:53,954 --> 00:00:56,490 Maybe she wants to give him back. 21 00:00:56,557 --> 00:01:00,027 Uh-uh. I've got a strict no-return policy. 22 00:01:00,094 --> 00:01:01,329 All right, you know what? 23 00:01:01,395 --> 00:01:02,830 Tell her I'm not here. 24 00:01:02,896 --> 00:01:06,634 I think she can see you. 25 00:01:06,700 --> 00:01:07,701 And hear you. 26 00:01:08,802 --> 00:01:11,639 Oh, crap. 27 00:01:11,705 --> 00:01:12,873 Matthew... 28 00:01:12,940 --> 00:01:14,675 Do something. 29 00:01:25,219 --> 00:01:26,687 Oh, hey, it's you. 30 00:01:26,754 --> 00:01:29,390 Oh, yeah, I thought you were someone else. 31 00:01:29,457 --> 00:01:31,692 Who? 32 00:01:31,759 --> 00:01:34,862 Uh... Edna Rosenblatt. 33 00:01:36,264 --> 00:01:38,532 From Acapulco. 34 00:01:39,467 --> 00:01:41,569 And I did not want to see her. 35 00:01:41,635 --> 00:01:42,870 I owe her a tree. 36 00:01:47,641 --> 00:01:49,577 So, uh, what's up? 37 00:01:49,643 --> 00:01:51,312 Oh, I wanted to run something by you. 38 00:01:51,379 --> 00:01:52,646 Oh. The Rolling Stones 39 00:01:52,713 --> 00:01:54,482 are playing tomorrow at the L.A. Auditorium, 40 00:01:54,548 --> 00:01:56,550 and Richard and I thought it would be really fun 41 00:01:56,617 --> 00:01:57,985 to take Ritchie to his first concert. 42 00:01:58,051 --> 00:01:59,387 We listen to music in the car 43 00:01:59,453 --> 00:02:00,954 all the time and Ritchie's really into it. 44 00:02:01,021 --> 00:02:03,691 But I wanted to check and see how you felt about it. 45 00:02:03,757 --> 00:02:04,725 The Rolling Stones? 46 00:02:04,792 --> 00:02:07,861 Yeah. Most of them are still alive. 47 00:02:07,928 --> 00:02:09,463 So is that okay? 48 00:02:09,530 --> 00:02:10,598 No. 49 00:02:10,664 --> 00:02:11,532 No? 50 00:02:11,599 --> 00:02:12,633 No. 51 00:02:12,700 --> 00:02:14,868 Oh. May I ask why? 52 00:02:14,935 --> 00:02:15,869 Yeah. Yeah? 53 00:02:15,936 --> 00:02:17,738 Yeah. I, um... 54 00:02:17,805 --> 00:02:18,772 I just don't think 55 00:02:18,839 --> 00:02:20,674 that's a great place for kids, you know. 56 00:02:20,741 --> 00:02:24,212 It's crowded and there's pot smoke and drunk people. 57 00:02:24,278 --> 00:02:25,879 You know, if I wanted Ritchie exposed to that 58 00:02:25,946 --> 00:02:29,783 I'd send him to his grandparents' for the summer. 59 00:02:29,850 --> 00:02:31,252 Are you sure you won't change your mind? 60 00:02:31,319 --> 00:02:32,386 I think so. 61 00:02:32,453 --> 00:02:34,788 You think you're sure you won't? 62 00:02:36,624 --> 00:02:39,227 You know, I don't know what you're asking, 63 00:02:39,293 --> 00:02:43,464 but whatever you're asking, the answer is no. 64 00:02:43,531 --> 00:02:44,898 Oh. 65 00:02:44,965 --> 00:02:46,934 Yeah. Bye-bye. 66 00:02:47,000 --> 00:02:48,836 Bye-bye. 67 00:02:51,439 --> 00:02:53,006 What did she want? 68 00:02:53,073 --> 00:02:56,244 Oh, she wanted to take Ritchie to a Rolling Stones concert. 69 00:02:56,310 --> 00:02:57,911 I said no. 70 00:02:57,978 --> 00:02:59,347 What do you mean, "no"? 71 00:03:03,717 --> 00:03:05,353 Richard, what are you doing here? 72 00:03:05,419 --> 00:03:06,887 I was out in the car. 73 00:03:06,954 --> 00:03:10,291 Oh, so you sent New Christine in here to do your dirty work? 74 00:03:10,358 --> 00:03:12,760 No, Christine wanted to be nice. 75 00:03:12,826 --> 00:03:14,828 She didn't feel comfortable going to the concert 76 00:03:14,895 --> 00:03:16,163 without running it by you first. 77 00:03:16,230 --> 00:03:17,798 It wasn't an actual question. 78 00:03:17,865 --> 00:03:18,732 It was a courtesy. 79 00:03:18,799 --> 00:03:20,100 We don't need your permission. 80 00:03:20,167 --> 00:03:22,002 Um, I think you do. 81 00:03:22,069 --> 00:03:23,971 Um... No, I don't. 82 00:03:24,037 --> 00:03:25,773 Um... I'm his mother. 83 00:03:25,839 --> 00:03:27,140 Um... I'm his father. 84 00:03:27,207 --> 00:03:30,644 Um... no, you're not. 85 00:03:30,711 --> 00:03:31,612 What? 86 00:03:31,679 --> 00:03:32,413 Ah, sorry. 87 00:03:32,480 --> 00:03:33,547 Richard, come on. 88 00:03:33,614 --> 00:03:35,749 A concert is not an appropriate place 89 00:03:35,816 --> 00:03:37,618 for a little nine- year-old boy. 90 00:03:37,685 --> 00:03:39,320 We have third-row orchestra seats. 91 00:03:39,387 --> 00:03:40,588 It might be his only chance to see 92 00:03:40,654 --> 00:03:42,256 the greatest band in rock and roll. 93 00:03:42,323 --> 00:03:46,260 I saw them when I was his age, as my father did before me. 94 00:03:46,327 --> 00:03:51,332 Your father also goes to the supermarket without a shirt on. 95 00:03:52,733 --> 00:03:53,667 Christine, 96 00:03:53,734 --> 00:03:55,135 in the two years we've been divorced, 97 00:03:55,202 --> 00:03:57,338 I've never gone against your wishes 98 00:03:57,405 --> 00:03:59,072 but this is really important to me 99 00:03:59,139 --> 00:04:00,774 and I'm doing it. 100 00:04:00,841 --> 00:04:03,811 Oh, well, I'm sorry to have to say this, but... 101 00:04:03,877 --> 00:04:05,979 I forbid it. 102 00:04:06,980 --> 00:04:08,115 Excuse me? 103 00:04:08,181 --> 00:04:09,917 Yeah, you heard me. I forbid it. 104 00:04:09,983 --> 00:04:12,686 I forbid you from taking him to the concert. 105 00:04:12,753 --> 00:04:14,555 Oh, I didn't realize you forbid it. 106 00:04:14,622 --> 00:04:17,024 I guess, in that case, I'll take Ritchie to the concert. 107 00:04:17,090 --> 00:04:18,058 What? 108 00:04:18,125 --> 00:04:20,060 No, no, no. I just forbid it. 109 00:04:20,127 --> 00:04:21,161 We're not married. 110 00:04:21,228 --> 00:04:23,364 You've lost your power to forbid. 111 00:04:25,399 --> 00:04:27,968 That was my greatest power. 112 00:04:28,035 --> 00:04:29,370 We're not gonna talk about this anymore. 113 00:04:29,437 --> 00:04:30,170 Yes, we are. 114 00:04:30,237 --> 00:04:31,171 No, we're not. 115 00:04:31,238 --> 00:04:32,306 Yeah. Richard, 116 00:04:32,373 --> 00:04:33,807 I... I forbid you 117 00:04:33,874 --> 00:04:35,309 from leaving. 118 00:04:35,376 --> 00:04:39,012 Richard, I forbid you from getting in the car. 119 00:04:39,079 --> 00:04:42,049 I forbid you from making that gesture. 120 00:04:42,115 --> 00:04:44,217 ( car starting ) 121 00:04:44,284 --> 00:04:46,954 I'm powerless. 122 00:04:51,692 --> 00:04:54,362 Yeah, I mean, right. So that's it? 123 00:04:54,428 --> 00:04:56,697 There's nothing I can do? 124 00:04:56,764 --> 00:04:59,099 All right, well, thanks for your help. 125 00:04:59,166 --> 00:05:01,034 Any luck? No. 126 00:05:01,101 --> 00:05:03,371 Our divorce mediator says there's nothing I can do. 127 00:05:03,437 --> 00:05:04,905 It's Richard's night. 128 00:05:04,972 --> 00:05:07,007 I told him what I was worried about, but apparently 129 00:05:07,074 --> 00:05:11,244 a mother's intuition is not legally binding. 130 00:05:11,311 --> 00:05:13,414 It's sexist. 131 00:05:13,481 --> 00:05:14,882 How is that sexist? 132 00:05:14,948 --> 00:05:18,752 'Cause we're both white, so it can't be racist. 133 00:05:20,454 --> 00:05:22,590 God, this is so unfair. 134 00:05:22,656 --> 00:05:24,392 When we were married, I had power. 135 00:05:24,458 --> 00:05:25,393 I could forbid. 136 00:05:25,459 --> 00:05:27,260 I could withhold sex. 137 00:05:27,327 --> 00:05:30,931 I ruled with an iron fist. 138 00:05:30,998 --> 00:05:35,268 Now that we're divorced, I'm not the boss of him anymore. 139 00:05:35,335 --> 00:05:36,637 Why did I get divorced? 140 00:05:36,704 --> 00:05:40,007 Yeah, and why would he divorce you? 141 00:05:41,509 --> 00:05:42,743 So, what are you gonna do? 142 00:05:42,810 --> 00:05:44,812 Nothing. There's nothing I can do. 143 00:05:44,878 --> 00:05:47,280 Against my better judgment, I have to hand him over 144 00:05:47,347 --> 00:05:50,784 into what I believe is an unsuitable environment. 145 00:05:50,851 --> 00:05:56,189 Yeah. How could my divorce suck more than my marriage? 146 00:05:56,256 --> 00:05:57,491 Are you sure you're okay, sweetie? 147 00:05:57,558 --> 00:05:58,726 Because if you don't want to go... 148 00:05:58,792 --> 00:06:00,794 I really want to go. I know, but if you 149 00:06:00,861 --> 00:06:02,463 don't want to go... I want to go. 150 00:06:02,530 --> 00:06:05,499 Listen, darling, it's okay with me if you don't want... 151 00:06:05,566 --> 00:06:07,000 You're not listening to me. 152 00:06:08,436 --> 00:06:09,503 Sorry. 153 00:06:09,570 --> 00:06:11,138 It's just that I'm so excited for you 154 00:06:11,204 --> 00:06:13,006 'cause it's your first concert. 155 00:06:13,073 --> 00:06:15,308 Yippee. 156 00:06:15,375 --> 00:06:16,577 But listen, honey, 157 00:06:16,644 --> 00:06:18,479 I want you to remember something. 158 00:06:18,546 --> 00:06:22,049 If you get lost, you look for anybody in a uniform. 159 00:06:22,115 --> 00:06:22,850 Anybody? 160 00:06:22,916 --> 00:06:25,385 Oh, no. Not anybody. 161 00:06:25,453 --> 00:06:28,622 Not somebody in a Nazi uniform. 162 00:06:28,689 --> 00:06:31,058 Or that uniform Michael Jackson wore for a while. 163 00:06:31,124 --> 00:06:32,726 Oh, yeah. Right. 164 00:06:32,793 --> 00:06:36,329 But anybody else in a uniform. 165 00:06:36,396 --> 00:06:37,330 Okay. 166 00:06:37,397 --> 00:06:38,732 ( clears throat ) 167 00:06:40,534 --> 00:06:42,335 Oh, they're not here, so we better just... 168 00:06:42,402 --> 00:06:43,704 Hey, there he is. 169 00:06:43,771 --> 00:06:45,238 Ready for the concert, Ritchie? 170 00:06:45,305 --> 00:06:46,306 Yay! 171 00:06:46,373 --> 00:06:48,041 Don't worry, he's gonna be fine. 172 00:06:48,108 --> 00:06:48,976 Yup. See you. 173 00:06:49,042 --> 00:06:50,343 We'll have him home tomorrow. 174 00:06:50,410 --> 00:06:51,812 Oh, wait, wait, wait. Um... 175 00:06:51,879 --> 00:06:54,482 I don't want him to sit too close to the speakers. 176 00:06:54,548 --> 00:06:55,649 We've got earplugs. 177 00:06:55,716 --> 00:06:57,350 And don't let him get dehydrated. 178 00:06:57,417 --> 00:06:58,886 We're bringing water. 179 00:06:58,952 --> 00:07:01,789 And please don't sit next to anybody who's smoking. 180 00:07:01,855 --> 00:07:03,657 Christine, half the band's on oxygen. 181 00:07:03,724 --> 00:07:05,726 No one's gonna be smoking. Bye. 182 00:07:05,793 --> 00:07:07,427 But, wait, wait, uh... 183 00:07:07,495 --> 00:07:08,596 What? 184 00:07:08,662 --> 00:07:10,998 Uh... ( stammers ) 185 00:07:11,064 --> 00:07:12,432 Uh, Matthew? 186 00:07:12,500 --> 00:07:14,001 Rock 'n' roll. 187 00:07:16,303 --> 00:07:17,905 ( whispers ): Bye. 188 00:07:19,940 --> 00:07:20,874 Thanks a lot. 189 00:07:20,941 --> 00:07:23,010 It's okay. We're gonna have fun, too. 190 00:07:23,076 --> 00:07:24,144 Okay, new game. 191 00:07:24,211 --> 00:07:26,547 I name the relative, you name their problem. 192 00:07:26,614 --> 00:07:28,081 Uncle Jack. 193 00:07:28,148 --> 00:07:29,182 Liver. 194 00:07:29,249 --> 00:07:30,383 Cousin Laurie. Liver. 195 00:07:30,450 --> 00:07:31,719 Great-grandpa Lloyd. 196 00:07:31,785 --> 00:07:32,520 Liver. 197 00:07:32,586 --> 00:07:34,788 Okay, bonus round... 198 00:07:38,492 --> 00:07:40,393 Second cousin Allan. 199 00:07:40,460 --> 00:07:44,532 Liver. They're all liver. 200 00:07:44,598 --> 00:07:46,366 Okay, Mom's side of the family. 201 00:07:46,433 --> 00:07:47,735 Lung. 202 00:07:47,801 --> 00:07:49,703 Damn it. 203 00:07:49,770 --> 00:07:53,073 Matthew, the idea of Ritchie 204 00:07:53,140 --> 00:07:58,445 all alone with those freaks and druggies and Hell's Angels. 205 00:07:58,512 --> 00:08:02,683 He's going downtown, not to Vietnam. 206 00:08:02,750 --> 00:08:04,585 He's not gonna be alone. He's with Richard. 207 00:08:04,652 --> 00:08:06,687 Yeah, that's my point. 208 00:08:06,754 --> 00:08:08,088 Look, Richard's a good guy. 209 00:08:08,155 --> 00:08:10,558 I mean, he can be a goofball sometimes 210 00:08:10,624 --> 00:08:13,961 and he does laugh a little too hard at The Wizard of Id, but, 211 00:08:14,027 --> 00:08:16,296 I mean, he loves that kid as much as you do. 212 00:08:16,363 --> 00:08:18,532 He's not going to let anything bad happen to him. 213 00:08:18,599 --> 00:08:19,733 Yeah, I guess you're right. 214 00:08:19,800 --> 00:08:21,635 I mean, what really could happen? 215 00:08:21,702 --> 00:08:23,771 Exactly. It's not like he's going with our dad. 216 00:08:23,837 --> 00:08:25,773 Then there'd be something to worry about. 217 00:08:27,207 --> 00:08:28,742 Why, what do you mean? 218 00:08:28,809 --> 00:08:30,678 Well, you remember Dad took me to the Dodger game. 219 00:08:30,744 --> 00:08:33,180 He let me go to the bathroom alone, and I got lost. 220 00:08:33,246 --> 00:08:35,348 Yeah, I was crying, I couldn't find my seat. 221 00:08:35,415 --> 00:08:39,019 No one would help me because it was a close game. 222 00:08:39,086 --> 00:08:40,187 I ended up 223 00:08:40,253 --> 00:08:42,022 wandering into the locker room. 224 00:08:42,089 --> 00:08:44,391 Didn't you ever wonder why I have that picture of me 225 00:08:44,457 --> 00:08:46,794 next to Fernando Valenzuela in his underwear? 226 00:08:49,262 --> 00:08:53,466 Dad let you go to the bathroom all by yourself? 227 00:08:53,533 --> 00:08:55,268 Oh, my God. 228 00:08:55,335 --> 00:08:59,006 That's exactly the kind of thing Richard would do. 229 00:08:59,072 --> 00:09:00,307 Oh, my God. 230 00:09:00,373 --> 00:09:03,110 I married my father. 231 00:09:04,712 --> 00:09:07,380 That's big, but I'll deal with that later. 232 00:09:07,447 --> 00:09:08,682 Richard's not like that. 233 00:09:08,749 --> 00:09:10,050 Yes, he is! 234 00:09:10,117 --> 00:09:13,721 One day he left Ritchie in the ball pit at Ikea. 235 00:09:13,787 --> 00:09:15,756 He came all the way home and assembled a bookshelf 236 00:09:15,823 --> 00:09:19,292 before he realized that he was gone. 237 00:09:19,359 --> 00:09:21,629 To this day, Ritchie cannot eat a meatball 238 00:09:21,695 --> 00:09:24,632 without bursting into tears. 239 00:09:24,698 --> 00:09:26,667 Oh, my God. 240 00:09:26,734 --> 00:09:29,569 Oh... Ritchie! 241 00:09:32,505 --> 00:09:33,841 ( sighs ) 242 00:09:37,878 --> 00:09:40,147 I'm, I'm sorry. You want tickets for what? 243 00:09:40,213 --> 00:09:42,282 The Rolling Stones. Two tickets. 244 00:09:42,349 --> 00:09:44,952 They're seated in the third-row orchestra, 245 00:09:45,018 --> 00:09:46,519 so something close to that. 246 00:09:46,586 --> 00:09:48,321 All right. Well, let's see what we've got. 247 00:09:48,388 --> 00:09:50,390 Is the, uh, front row okay? 248 00:09:50,457 --> 00:09:51,725 Yeah, that'd be perfect. 249 00:09:51,792 --> 00:09:54,461 Wait. I might have something a little bit closer. 250 00:09:54,527 --> 00:09:56,229 Yeah, two tickets right on stage. 251 00:09:56,296 --> 00:09:57,197 Now it's a little louder, 252 00:09:57,264 --> 00:09:59,599 but you might get to dance with Mick. 253 00:09:59,667 --> 00:10:02,736 Oh, yeah, we'll take those. 254 00:10:02,803 --> 00:10:05,172 How high are you, huh? 255 00:10:05,238 --> 00:10:06,339 We're completely sold out. 256 00:10:06,406 --> 00:10:09,777 It's the Rolling Stones. 257 00:10:11,444 --> 00:10:14,715 If you don't have tickets, then why are you even open? 258 00:10:14,782 --> 00:10:16,650 Because I'm selling tickets to Kristi Yamaguchi, 259 00:10:16,717 --> 00:10:19,186 the Wiggles On Ice, and the Gay Rodeo. 260 00:10:20,754 --> 00:10:22,289 Whoa. Is that all one show? 261 00:10:22,355 --> 00:10:24,291 'Cause I'd see that. 262 00:10:24,357 --> 00:10:26,193 Matthew. 263 00:10:26,259 --> 00:10:27,895 Sir, I'm sorry, let me just explain to you 264 00:10:27,961 --> 00:10:29,362 my situation, okay? 265 00:10:29,429 --> 00:10:31,732 My nine-year-old son is in there with his father 266 00:10:31,799 --> 00:10:33,033 and his new girlfriend, 267 00:10:33,100 --> 00:10:35,235 and there's a very strong possibility 268 00:10:35,302 --> 00:10:39,572 that he's going to let him go to the bathroom on his own. 269 00:10:39,639 --> 00:10:42,342 I'm so sorry. I didn't... I didn't know. Oh, that's all right. 270 00:10:42,409 --> 00:10:45,746 We keep two emergency tickets available for situations like this. 271 00:10:45,813 --> 00:10:48,481 Is the fourth row okay? 272 00:10:48,548 --> 00:10:49,750 That would be great. 273 00:10:49,817 --> 00:10:51,484 Okay. Oh, let me just get those for you. 274 00:10:51,551 --> 00:10:52,485 Where do we keep them? 275 00:10:52,552 --> 00:10:53,921 Ah, they're right here. 276 00:11:08,201 --> 00:11:10,738 He's not getting the tickets, is he? 277 00:11:10,804 --> 00:11:13,373 Oh, no, sweetie, he's not. 278 00:11:16,343 --> 00:11:18,178 Let's get out of here. We'll go get you some chaps 279 00:11:18,245 --> 00:11:20,480 for the Gay Rodeo. 280 00:11:20,547 --> 00:11:21,749 No, I have to get in there 281 00:11:21,815 --> 00:11:22,950 to see what's happening with Ritchie. 282 00:11:23,016 --> 00:11:24,184 Why don't you just call Richard 283 00:11:24,251 --> 00:11:25,652 on his cell phone and check up on him? 284 00:11:25,719 --> 00:11:28,021 Because then he'll dig his heels in deeper. 285 00:11:28,088 --> 00:11:30,123 He's stubborn, like Daddy. 286 00:11:30,190 --> 00:11:31,024 Oh! 287 00:11:31,091 --> 00:11:34,127 Maybe you're overreacting. 288 00:11:34,194 --> 00:11:35,628 Richard's a pretty good dad. 289 00:11:35,695 --> 00:11:37,064 I know, I know, 290 00:11:37,130 --> 00:11:38,899 but I just got to get in close enough 291 00:11:38,966 --> 00:11:42,002 so I can keep an eye on Ritchie without Richard knowing. 292 00:11:42,069 --> 00:11:44,838 All right, you know, I hate to have to do this, 293 00:11:44,905 --> 00:11:49,409 but I may have to pull out my secret weapons. 294 00:11:49,476 --> 00:11:50,710 Oh, God, you're not 295 00:11:50,778 --> 00:11:53,146 dragging those things out again, are you? 296 00:11:53,213 --> 00:11:58,185 Hey, these babies got me into Live Aid on two continents 297 00:11:58,251 --> 00:12:01,822 and the L.A. County Fair when I left my purse in the car. 298 00:12:01,889 --> 00:12:04,391 It's kind of hard to believe you're the more responsible parent. 299 00:12:04,457 --> 00:12:06,927 I know, right? 300 00:12:06,994 --> 00:12:08,962 Oh, my God, I won't have to. 301 00:12:09,029 --> 00:12:10,864 There he is, all alone. 302 00:12:10,931 --> 00:12:12,732 I knew it! Ritchie! 303 00:12:12,800 --> 00:12:15,268 Ritchie, it's okay, sweetie. Mommy is here. 304 00:12:15,335 --> 00:12:16,069 Oh! 305 00:12:16,136 --> 00:12:17,805 What the hell are you doing? 306 00:12:17,871 --> 00:12:19,873 Oh, sorry, I thought that was my son. 307 00:12:19,940 --> 00:12:21,909 Well, it's not. 308 00:12:23,610 --> 00:12:24,878 You know what? 309 00:12:24,945 --> 00:12:27,347 You should keep a closer eye on your kid. 310 00:12:27,414 --> 00:12:28,949 This is a rock concert. 311 00:12:29,016 --> 00:12:31,952 What kind of mother are you? 312 00:12:32,019 --> 00:12:35,255 All right, that's it. We're going in. 313 00:12:38,058 --> 00:12:40,760 This can't be good for me. 314 00:12:46,099 --> 00:12:47,901 Now, where are you going? 315 00:12:47,968 --> 00:12:50,403 Uh, I'm with them. 316 00:12:50,470 --> 00:12:53,206 No, you're not. 317 00:12:55,008 --> 00:12:58,979 Am I with them... now? 318 00:12:59,046 --> 00:13:01,982 No, you're getting further away. 319 00:13:04,084 --> 00:13:06,053 Look, this is really important. 320 00:13:06,119 --> 00:13:09,056 It's always really important, but there's nothing I can do. 321 00:13:09,122 --> 00:13:10,958 If I let every middle-aged, oversexed fan in... 322 00:13:11,024 --> 00:13:12,960 Middle-aged? 323 00:13:13,894 --> 00:13:15,863 I'm not middle-aged. I'm young! 324 00:13:15,929 --> 00:13:18,631 I'm spry. 325 00:13:18,698 --> 00:13:22,135 For your information, I can still do a back bend. 326 00:13:22,202 --> 00:13:24,004 I mean, from a lying-down position 327 00:13:24,071 --> 00:13:25,873 and I'll need you to spot me. 328 00:13:25,939 --> 00:13:27,407 Okay, I don't do that. 329 00:13:27,474 --> 00:13:29,142 Now get out of here. 330 00:13:29,209 --> 00:13:31,879 Oh, come on. I really need to get in there. 331 00:13:31,945 --> 00:13:34,114 Nothing I can do. 332 00:13:34,181 --> 00:13:38,318 Well, that's what they said at the L.A. County Fair. 333 00:13:58,505 --> 00:14:00,173 You looking? 334 00:14:02,876 --> 00:14:03,843 Thank you. 335 00:14:03,911 --> 00:14:05,545 What? 336 00:14:05,612 --> 00:14:08,381 You said "good-looking." 337 00:14:08,448 --> 00:14:09,382 No, I didn't. 338 00:14:09,449 --> 00:14:11,718 No, I didn't. I said, "You looking?" 339 00:14:11,784 --> 00:14:13,053 Why would I say "good-looking"? 340 00:14:13,120 --> 00:14:17,090 Because I'm good-looking. 341 00:14:17,157 --> 00:14:19,893 Well, I guess you're pretty good-looking. 342 00:14:19,960 --> 00:14:21,594 Thank you. 343 00:14:21,661 --> 00:14:23,330 Um... 344 00:14:23,396 --> 00:14:25,899 ( whispers ): Do you know anyone selling tickets? 345 00:14:25,966 --> 00:14:27,767 Yeah, I'm selling. 346 00:14:27,834 --> 00:14:29,802 Ah, yes, looking. 347 00:14:29,869 --> 00:14:30,938 I'm definitely looking. 348 00:14:31,004 --> 00:14:32,172 What do you need? 349 00:14:32,239 --> 00:14:36,509 Uh, two tickets on the floor. 350 00:14:39,112 --> 00:14:40,380 Uh, no problem. 351 00:14:40,447 --> 00:14:41,915 $500 a pop. 352 00:14:41,982 --> 00:14:44,217 Whoa, that's a little out of my range. 353 00:14:44,284 --> 00:14:46,686 What do you have for $50? 354 00:14:46,753 --> 00:14:48,288 I can get you a T-shirt 355 00:14:48,355 --> 00:14:51,024 with "The Rolling Stones" spelled wrong. 356 00:14:51,091 --> 00:14:53,893 Really? That's the best you can do? 357 00:14:53,961 --> 00:14:54,995 Yeah. 358 00:14:55,062 --> 00:14:58,031 For a good-looking guy like me? 359 00:15:09,209 --> 00:15:10,343 Excuse me. Do you work here? 360 00:15:10,410 --> 00:15:11,278 Yeah. 361 00:15:11,344 --> 00:15:13,813 Okay, I have got to get inside 362 00:15:13,880 --> 00:15:15,348 and I don't have time to play games, 363 00:15:15,415 --> 00:15:18,385 so let's quit cuttin' bait and start fishing. 364 00:15:19,386 --> 00:15:20,954 Cool. 365 00:15:21,021 --> 00:15:23,056 Okay, can I get in? 366 00:15:23,123 --> 00:15:24,424 I just work concessions. 367 00:15:24,491 --> 00:15:29,963 Oh, my God, I just flashed you for nothing? 368 00:15:30,030 --> 00:15:31,398 I can get you a small soda. 369 00:15:31,464 --> 00:15:35,002 Small soda? 370 00:15:35,902 --> 00:15:39,072 Okay, a diet, please. 371 00:15:45,845 --> 00:15:47,680 Hey. 372 00:15:47,747 --> 00:15:49,249 Where'd you get the soda? 373 00:15:49,316 --> 00:15:53,920 I don't want to talk about it. 374 00:15:53,987 --> 00:15:56,223 Well, I have good news. 375 00:15:56,289 --> 00:15:57,991 Two tickets, tenth-row orchestra. 376 00:15:58,058 --> 00:16:00,093 Matthew, that's great! 377 00:16:00,160 --> 00:16:01,661 Only 300 bucks. 378 00:16:01,728 --> 00:16:03,163 300 bucks? 379 00:16:03,230 --> 00:16:05,265 I talked him down from $500, 380 00:16:05,332 --> 00:16:07,200 plus I got him to throw in 381 00:16:07,267 --> 00:16:09,969 this Rolling Scones T-shirt. 382 00:16:10,037 --> 00:16:12,305 Hey, at least we're getting in. 383 00:16:12,372 --> 00:16:14,007 I'll be able to see Ritchie, 384 00:16:14,074 --> 00:16:15,142 and hey, it might be the last time 385 00:16:15,208 --> 00:16:18,111 we're able to see the Stones. 386 00:16:18,178 --> 00:16:19,712 ( audience cheering ) 387 00:16:25,852 --> 00:16:29,089 We're not going to be able to see the Stones, are we? 388 00:16:29,156 --> 00:16:32,125 No, sweetie, we're not. 389 00:16:35,528 --> 00:16:36,529 Oh, damn it! 390 00:16:36,596 --> 00:16:38,198 It went right to voicemail again. 391 00:16:38,265 --> 00:16:39,266 Where are they? 392 00:16:39,332 --> 00:16:40,567 I'm sure they're on their way. 393 00:16:40,633 --> 00:16:42,335 ( whiny ): Let's just go home. 394 00:16:42,402 --> 00:16:46,673 No. I want to be here when they get back. 395 00:16:46,739 --> 00:16:49,242 God, the concert ended two hours ago. 396 00:16:49,309 --> 00:16:52,445 This is exactly what I was afraid of, you know? 397 00:16:52,512 --> 00:16:55,382 Oh! I'm so used to being there for him. 398 00:16:55,448 --> 00:16:57,217 I mean, and now one day a week 399 00:16:57,284 --> 00:16:59,519 and every other weekend, I have no say 400 00:16:59,586 --> 00:17:02,289 in what he does or where he goes. 401 00:17:02,355 --> 00:17:04,824 There's nothing I can do about it. 402 00:17:04,891 --> 00:17:05,892 That sucks. 403 00:17:05,958 --> 00:17:07,394 I know. 404 00:17:07,460 --> 00:17:08,828 Oh, God. 405 00:17:08,895 --> 00:17:10,363 All right, give me my bra back. 406 00:17:10,430 --> 00:17:12,665 These things are sticking to my stomach. 407 00:17:15,368 --> 00:17:18,138 This definitely is not good for me. 408 00:17:24,043 --> 00:17:26,613 ( both scream ) 409 00:17:31,684 --> 00:17:36,089 I haven't woken up to that view in a long time. 410 00:17:36,156 --> 00:17:38,458 At least now I know why you married him. 411 00:17:41,694 --> 00:17:43,430 What the hell are you two doing here? 412 00:17:43,496 --> 00:17:47,867 Richard, the better question is where were you all night? 413 00:17:47,934 --> 00:17:49,702 What? I was here. 414 00:17:49,769 --> 00:17:51,138 No, you weren't, 415 00:17:51,204 --> 00:17:53,673 'cause we went to the concert and we came right back here 416 00:17:53,740 --> 00:17:55,275 and you never showed up. 417 00:17:55,342 --> 00:17:56,543 Because we never left. 418 00:17:56,609 --> 00:17:58,044 We decided not to go 419 00:17:58,111 --> 00:17:59,279 to the concert, so we rented movies. 420 00:17:59,346 --> 00:18:00,447 We were in bed by 9:00. 421 00:18:00,513 --> 00:18:03,283 Didn't go to the concert? 422 00:18:03,350 --> 00:18:04,984 New Christine talked me out of it. 423 00:18:05,051 --> 00:18:06,453 She did? 424 00:18:06,519 --> 00:18:07,820 Yeah. She saw how upset you were 425 00:18:07,887 --> 00:18:08,988 when you dropped Ritchie off 426 00:18:09,055 --> 00:18:10,190 so she couldn't go through with it. 427 00:18:10,257 --> 00:18:13,693 She did that for me? Why? 428 00:18:13,760 --> 00:18:15,662 She's nice. 429 00:18:15,728 --> 00:18:18,465 Oh. 430 00:18:18,531 --> 00:18:20,066 Well, tell her I said thanks. 431 00:18:20,133 --> 00:18:22,935 Maybe you should tell her yourself. 432 00:18:23,002 --> 00:18:26,806 Yeah. This is a great way to start the day. 433 00:18:31,944 --> 00:18:34,881 So, you saw the Stones? 434 00:18:34,947 --> 00:18:36,883 I'm afraid so. 435 00:18:36,949 --> 00:18:40,153 You should really wear underwear under that robe. 436 00:18:41,588 --> 00:18:42,722 Hello? 437 00:18:44,524 --> 00:18:46,159 Hello? 438 00:18:46,226 --> 00:18:47,360 Hi, Christine. 439 00:18:47,427 --> 00:18:49,061 Oh, hi. You here to pick up Ritchie? 440 00:18:49,128 --> 00:18:50,363 He's still asleep. 441 00:18:50,430 --> 00:18:52,999 Oh, no, actually, I wanted to talk to you. 442 00:18:53,065 --> 00:18:54,100 Um, 443 00:18:54,167 --> 00:18:57,470 look, I know I'm not always 444 00:18:57,537 --> 00:18:59,206 the nicest person to you, 445 00:18:59,272 --> 00:19:01,408 and sometimes I make fun of you. 446 00:19:01,474 --> 00:19:04,444 I, uh, I do this bit where you... where you can't 447 00:19:04,511 --> 00:19:06,579 figure out how to open up a window. 448 00:19:08,648 --> 00:19:11,651 People seem to really like it, 449 00:19:11,718 --> 00:19:14,221 but it's probably not fair to you. 450 00:19:14,287 --> 00:19:16,556 Yeah, I heard about that bit. 451 00:19:17,490 --> 00:19:18,791 I also heard about the one 452 00:19:18,858 --> 00:19:21,661 where I try to drink a soda with my ear. 453 00:19:21,728 --> 00:19:26,499 And that one-- while... while very funny-- 454 00:19:26,566 --> 00:19:29,502 is, um, is also rather unfair to you. 455 00:19:29,569 --> 00:19:32,071 You know, Richard told me that you talked him out 456 00:19:32,138 --> 00:19:35,475 of going to the concert, and I just wanted to thank you. 457 00:19:35,542 --> 00:19:37,076 I could see you were upset. 458 00:19:37,143 --> 00:19:38,745 I'm not a mother, but I have one. 459 00:19:41,180 --> 00:19:43,383 After my folks got divorced, 460 00:19:43,450 --> 00:19:46,386 my dad used to do things just to make my mother mad. 461 00:19:46,453 --> 00:19:49,389 That's how I got my ears pierced... and my tattoo... 462 00:19:49,456 --> 00:19:51,724 and my half brother. 463 00:19:53,025 --> 00:19:54,093 I always felt bad for my mom. 464 00:19:54,160 --> 00:19:55,562 Oh, well, you know, 465 00:19:55,628 --> 00:19:57,964 I don't think Richard was doing this just to get to me. 466 00:19:58,030 --> 00:20:00,800 Oh, no, of course not. Richard's a great dad. 467 00:20:00,867 --> 00:20:03,303 But I want you to know, as long as I'm around, 468 00:20:03,370 --> 00:20:05,638 I'm going to look out for Ritchie and for you. 469 00:20:05,705 --> 00:20:08,641 Oh, wow, thanks. 470 00:20:08,708 --> 00:20:11,411 You're a really decent person, aren't you? 471 00:20:11,478 --> 00:20:13,746 It's not that hard. 472 00:20:15,682 --> 00:20:19,586 Well, anyway, I won't do those bits anymore... 473 00:20:19,652 --> 00:20:21,454 probably. 474 00:20:21,521 --> 00:20:24,657 Harder for some people than others. 475 00:20:24,724 --> 00:20:25,892 You know what? 476 00:20:25,958 --> 00:20:28,261 That is a really great bra. 477 00:20:28,328 --> 00:20:29,862 It really holds everything up there. 478 00:20:29,929 --> 00:20:30,797 What, what kind is that? 479 00:20:30,863 --> 00:20:31,998 I'm not wearing a bra. 480 00:20:35,702 --> 00:20:39,005 You know, you make it really hard to be nice to you.