1 00:00:03,086 --> 00:00:05,631 [J.D.] Halloween in a hospital can be confusing. 2 00:00:05,714 --> 00:00:06,715 Real or costume? 3 00:00:06,798 --> 00:00:09,426 -Dagger's fake. Arrow's real. -Ooh! 4 00:00:09,510 --> 00:00:12,554 Raffi, do we have to have this talk every Halloween? 5 00:00:12,638 --> 00:00:14,598 You can't wear that in here. 6 00:00:14,681 --> 00:00:17,434 That woman's allowed to walk around as a sexy nurse. 7 00:00:17,518 --> 00:00:20,854 [sighs] Donna is just a regular nurse who hit the genetic lottery. 8 00:00:20,938 --> 00:00:22,189 Go change. Okay. 9 00:00:22,981 --> 00:00:24,233 Damn. 10 00:00:24,316 --> 00:00:25,317 I hate Halloween. 11 00:00:25,400 --> 00:00:28,946 There's a grown-ass man back there in a double XL Mario costume, 12 00:00:29,029 --> 00:00:30,906 probably wondering why his wife won't look him in the eyes 13 00:00:30,989 --> 00:00:32,658 when they're having sex anymore. It's like-- 14 00:00:32,741 --> 00:00:34,618 Babe. I love Halloween. 15 00:00:34,701 --> 00:00:37,955 Did you see the Mario guy? I'm going as that next year. 16 00:00:38,038 --> 00:00:39,122 I hope they have a double XL. 17 00:00:39,206 --> 00:00:40,332 I'm so sorry. 18 00:00:40,415 --> 00:00:43,168 I'm sure your guys' sex is cool and normal. 19 00:00:43,252 --> 00:00:45,170 -I used to have cool, normal sex. -[groans] 20 00:00:45,254 --> 00:00:47,297 What? I'm sorry, I'm still depressed about Charlie. 21 00:00:47,381 --> 00:00:49,591 Our couple's costume was going to be Wayne and Garth, 22 00:00:49,675 --> 00:00:51,927 and those plans went schwing right out the window. 23 00:00:52,010 --> 00:00:53,929 Buddy, today is the perfect day to be single. 24 00:00:54,012 --> 00:00:55,055 Look around. 25 00:00:55,138 --> 00:00:56,974 It's a buffet of booty up in here. 26 00:00:57,057 --> 00:00:58,433 -Turk. -Sorry. 27 00:00:58,517 --> 00:00:59,685 Actually, Turk is right. 28 00:00:59,768 --> 00:01:01,687 All you need is a mindless crush to help you get over Charlie. 29 00:01:01,770 --> 00:01:04,439 How dare you two dismiss my pain as something that can be overcome 30 00:01:04,523 --> 00:01:07,901 by some cheap and lust-filled… 31 00:01:07,985 --> 00:01:09,319 -Schwing! -[laughing] 32 00:01:10,153 --> 00:01:11,655 -We're back, baby. -Yeah? 33 00:01:11,738 --> 00:01:12,906 -He's back, baby. -Yeah. 34 00:01:12,990 --> 00:01:14,700 -Just me. I'm the only one back. -Baby. 35 00:01:14,783 --> 00:01:15,784 Yo, you need to watch yourself. 36 00:01:15,867 --> 00:01:17,244 You need to not put me in them type of situations. 37 00:01:17,327 --> 00:01:19,288 I got your back, but just keep it together. 38 00:01:19,371 --> 00:01:20,455 -I'm keeping it. -Hold it together. 39 00:01:20,539 --> 00:01:23,500 Everyone come outside. I have a surprise for you. 40 00:01:23,584 --> 00:01:24,585 Ooh! 41 00:01:24,668 --> 00:01:25,919 -[♪ ice cream truck music playing] -Ice cream! 42 00:01:26,003 --> 00:01:27,087 -Yeah! -Thank you, Elliot. 43 00:01:27,170 --> 00:01:28,964 I needed this. I've been so sad lately. 44 00:01:29,047 --> 00:01:31,925 Oh, me too. I hope they got that cute little squirrel with the gumball nose. 45 00:01:32,009 --> 00:01:35,512 [all] Ice cream, ice cream, ice cream, ice cream. 46 00:01:35,596 --> 00:01:37,306 Yes, I scream. You scream. 47 00:01:37,389 --> 00:01:40,642 We all scream for a fair and equitable approach to women's health care. 48 00:01:40,726 --> 00:01:41,810 [all groan] 49 00:01:41,893 --> 00:01:44,646 Oh, come on, you guys, this is gonna be my new mobile health care clinic. 50 00:01:44,730 --> 00:01:46,606 Jerry, could you turn off the music? 51 00:01:46,690 --> 00:01:47,941 [music stops] 52 00:01:48,025 --> 00:01:49,318 Guys, I got my first grant. 53 00:01:49,401 --> 00:01:51,028 No ice cream? I'm out. 54 00:01:51,111 --> 00:01:53,405 -False alarm. There's no ice cream. -[all grumbling] 55 00:01:53,488 --> 00:01:56,033 Obviously I still have a lot of money to raise. 56 00:01:56,116 --> 00:01:57,826 Could you help me figure out some good resources? 57 00:01:57,909 --> 00:01:59,870 It's just when you've been promised ice cream, 58 00:01:59,953 --> 00:02:02,372 it's kind of hard to pivot to anything else. 59 00:02:03,582 --> 00:02:04,708 Mmm, ice cream. 60 00:02:04,791 --> 00:02:07,878 Look, grants are great, but you need to get the hospital behind you. 61 00:02:07,961 --> 00:02:10,756 Get some doctors to volunteer their time for the clinic, all right? 62 00:02:10,839 --> 00:02:12,257 And then we can go pitch it all to the board. 63 00:02:12,341 --> 00:02:13,884 -[explosion] -Wait, do you smell something? 64 00:02:13,967 --> 00:02:15,260 Your truck's on fire. 65 00:02:15,802 --> 00:02:18,096 [Elliot] Oh, my God. Jerry! Do something! 66 00:02:18,180 --> 00:02:20,140 -My clinic's on fire! -Mmm! 67 00:02:21,016 --> 00:02:23,477 Turk was right. His nose is a gumball. 68 00:02:24,645 --> 00:02:28,273 ♪ I can't do this all on my own ♪ 69 00:02:28,357 --> 00:02:31,777 ♪ No, I know I'm no Superman ♪ 70 00:02:34,696 --> 00:02:36,573 ♪ I'm no Superman ♪ 71 00:02:37,741 --> 00:02:40,202 [chuckles] I told you, I don't wait. 72 00:02:40,952 --> 00:02:43,413 Rick Fabian, Fabian Aeronautics. 73 00:02:43,497 --> 00:02:45,707 Perhaps you've been in one of our private planes. 74 00:02:45,791 --> 00:02:47,751 Sir, I Rollerbladed to work today. 75 00:02:47,834 --> 00:02:49,628 Perhaps you're more familiar with our bombs. 76 00:02:49,711 --> 00:02:52,005 Girl, the only bombs I care about are bath bombs. 77 00:02:52,089 --> 00:02:54,216 You're gonna need to wait just like the other patients. 78 00:02:54,299 --> 00:02:55,384 What's his deal? 79 00:02:55,467 --> 00:02:59,221 [sighs] Just some entitled jackass waiting for his private concierge doctor. 80 00:02:59,304 --> 00:03:04,309 Oh, I remember my concierge days, trading out my principles and my expertise 81 00:03:04,393 --> 00:03:05,394 all to make a quick buck 82 00:03:05,477 --> 00:03:11,024 so I could afford that post-divorce green metallic 1967 Corvette Stingray, 83 00:03:11,108 --> 00:03:13,402 which doesn't actually attract any women 84 00:03:13,485 --> 00:03:16,113 but you do meet some cool guys that want to take a picture with it. 85 00:03:16,196 --> 00:03:17,572 Baby, we need to switch cars, 86 00:03:17,656 --> 00:03:20,992 'cause my Chrysler Pacifica brings all the soccer moms to the yard. 87 00:03:21,076 --> 00:03:22,244 Oh, girl, the hatchback. 88 00:03:22,327 --> 00:03:23,620 -Hey. -Hey. 89 00:03:23,704 --> 00:03:27,582 Sorry I'm late, Rick. I had to kick somebody out of a VIP suite. 90 00:03:27,666 --> 00:03:29,209 Actually, there was another empty one 91 00:03:29,292 --> 00:03:33,296 but I know how much you like to displace people, you rascal. 92 00:03:33,380 --> 00:03:35,590 You're back treating patients. 93 00:03:35,674 --> 00:03:38,969 I knew you couldn't resist being part of the best doctor duo 94 00:03:39,052 --> 00:03:41,096 to ever walk the earth, better known as-- 95 00:03:41,179 --> 00:03:44,224 Don't you dare say the name or I'll kick you in your doctor duo. 96 00:03:45,142 --> 00:03:46,560 Big Cox and Lil D. 97 00:03:46,643 --> 00:03:49,229 -[groaning] -You love it. You love it. 98 00:03:49,312 --> 00:03:51,731 -Big Cox and Lil D! -God. 99 00:03:51,815 --> 00:03:52,816 I am not back. 100 00:03:52,899 --> 00:03:57,154 I felt a little better, so I took on just one patient because I am bored. 101 00:03:57,237 --> 00:03:59,739 It turns out that retirement is not what I thought it was going to be. 102 00:03:59,823 --> 00:04:01,241 I-I'm surprised you're taking this on. 103 00:04:01,324 --> 00:04:04,453 I mean, concierge patients are notoriously high-maintenance. 104 00:04:04,536 --> 00:04:06,872 I had one that made me break in all her heels. 105 00:04:07,622 --> 00:04:11,126 On the plus side, I can do two flights in stilettos without breaking a sweat. 106 00:04:11,209 --> 00:04:12,711 For the money this guy's paying me, 107 00:04:12,794 --> 00:04:16,381 I would gladly throw on a pair of stilettos and a smile. 108 00:04:16,465 --> 00:04:18,425 No offense, but can you smile? 109 00:04:18,508 --> 00:04:22,137 It takes me a second to rev up, but I-I think I can get there. 110 00:04:22,220 --> 00:04:24,264 Hey, Dr. Cox, I hear-- Oh! 111 00:04:24,347 --> 00:04:26,391 What the hell is happening to his face? 112 00:04:26,475 --> 00:04:27,934 That's his smile, Turk. 113 00:04:28,018 --> 00:04:30,228 Take it in. It's like Halley's Comet. 114 00:04:30,312 --> 00:04:32,189 Next time it happens, we'll both be dead. 115 00:04:34,983 --> 00:04:36,443 Oh, sweet Jesus, what was that? 116 00:04:36,526 --> 00:04:37,778 That's his smile. 117 00:04:39,821 --> 00:04:41,364 Ugh, this holiday. 118 00:04:41,448 --> 00:04:45,452 I just pulled so many Red Vines out of the wrong side of a 40-year-old Pikachu. 119 00:04:45,535 --> 00:04:47,120 Well, we were just talking about the Halloween mixer. 120 00:04:47,204 --> 00:04:49,831 -So dumb. -Really? I love Halloween. 121 00:04:49,915 --> 00:04:51,833 Me too. It's the best. It's, like, my favorite holiday. 122 00:04:51,917 --> 00:04:56,254 I meant dumb like, um, dope, like how they say in the Bay Area. 123 00:04:56,338 --> 00:04:58,089 -You guys know this. -Mm-mmm. 124 00:04:58,173 --> 00:05:00,050 Go dummy with it, you know. 125 00:05:00,842 --> 00:05:02,010 Go dummy with it. 126 00:05:02,093 --> 00:05:04,721 Go dummy with it. Goes dummy with it. 127 00:05:04,805 --> 00:05:06,014 -Go dummy with it. -Go dummy with it. 128 00:05:06,097 --> 00:05:07,432 -Go dummy with it. -Go dummy with it. 129 00:05:07,516 --> 00:05:09,100 -Go dummy… I'm helping you. -Thank you. 130 00:05:09,184 --> 00:05:11,353 -Go dummy with it. Go dummy with it. -Oh! 131 00:05:11,436 --> 00:05:12,437 Go dummy-- 132 00:05:12,521 --> 00:05:13,980 Are we raising the roof for my new mobile clinic? 133 00:05:14,064 --> 00:05:16,358 Go dummy with it. Go dummy with it. 134 00:05:16,441 --> 00:05:17,442 [clears throat] 135 00:05:17,526 --> 00:05:20,403 Look, I just, uh, need you at the conference room at 3:00 136 00:05:20,487 --> 00:05:23,573 'cause I need butts in the seats and hands in the air like you do care. 137 00:05:23,657 --> 00:05:26,618 Wouldn't the physical change be driven by the redistribution? 138 00:05:26,701 --> 00:05:28,495 Hey, if you guys could come to my presentation, 139 00:05:28,578 --> 00:05:29,788 I could really use the support, 140 00:05:29,871 --> 00:05:32,541 as could the women in our community who do not have access to health care. 141 00:05:32,624 --> 00:05:35,627 Sorry, Elliot, we're right in the middle of a groundbreaking medical debate. 142 00:05:35,710 --> 00:05:38,255 I'm so sorry. I'll just, uh, leave some of these right here. 143 00:05:38,338 --> 00:05:40,257 -Thank you. -[Turk] Let me get this straight. 144 00:05:40,340 --> 00:05:45,220 If I'm sitting in the hot tub and it's filled to the top and I get aroused, 145 00:05:45,303 --> 00:05:47,264 the water will not be displaced at all? 146 00:05:47,347 --> 00:05:50,600 -That is my hypothesis, yes. -Absolutely not. 147 00:05:50,684 --> 00:05:54,479 Even though the overall mass stays constant, the volume changes. 148 00:05:54,563 --> 00:05:55,981 -Yeah, man. -No, I'm telling you guys, 149 00:05:56,064 --> 00:05:57,774 I've been studying this my whole life. 150 00:05:58,859 --> 00:06:02,988 [J.D.] I was thinking about Turk's advice to distract myself with a mindless crush, 151 00:06:03,071 --> 00:06:05,448 but it wasn't going as smooth as I hoped. 152 00:06:05,532 --> 00:06:08,451 [♪ passionate saxophone music playing] 153 00:06:09,411 --> 00:06:11,913 Check out the body-ody-ody on that one. 154 00:06:12,831 --> 00:06:14,916 [♪ saxophone playing off-key] 155 00:06:15,000 --> 00:06:18,044 Tim, Tim. No playing in the hallway. Keep it in your room. 156 00:06:18,128 --> 00:06:19,713 Oh, man. There's no babes in there. 157 00:06:19,796 --> 00:06:21,882 That's not my problem. And please turn around your gown. 158 00:06:21,965 --> 00:06:23,633 I can see all your goodies. 159 00:06:23,717 --> 00:06:25,510 [♪ saxophone plays off-key] 160 00:06:27,304 --> 00:06:29,848 Hey, you seem lost. Can I help you find something? 161 00:06:29,931 --> 00:06:32,392 Oh, I was just looking for the cafeteria. Is the food good? 162 00:06:32,475 --> 00:06:33,602 Oh, yeah, it's actually not so bad. 163 00:06:33,685 --> 00:06:35,395 And after 5:00, the pastries are free. 164 00:06:36,021 --> 00:06:37,022 Just like me. 165 00:06:37,105 --> 00:06:39,024 -Oh, yeah? -Oh, yeah. 166 00:06:39,107 --> 00:06:40,400 Uh, we used to throw them out, 167 00:06:40,483 --> 00:06:43,194 but then it became a huge problem at the dumpster with all the raccoons. 168 00:06:43,278 --> 00:06:46,323 [J.D.] Oh, my God. Her "oh, yeah?" was about you being free, 169 00:06:46,406 --> 00:06:48,116 not the pastries. Circle back. 170 00:06:48,199 --> 00:06:49,743 Well, enough about the raccoons. 171 00:06:49,826 --> 00:06:51,745 They're dead, so… I made sure of it. 172 00:06:51,828 --> 00:06:56,916 But we're alive, you and I, and, uh, we should grab a glass of wine. 173 00:06:57,000 --> 00:06:58,501 [elevator dings] 174 00:06:58,585 --> 00:07:00,086 Oh, this was really awkward. [chuckles] 175 00:07:00,170 --> 00:07:02,672 I feel like we should just kind of forget what just happened. 176 00:07:02,756 --> 00:07:04,966 I agree. I'm on… We're on the same page about something. 177 00:07:05,050 --> 00:07:06,343 [button clicking] 178 00:07:06,426 --> 00:07:07,427 Does the-- Does the door close? 179 00:07:07,510 --> 00:07:09,596 Yes, door close is right next to door open. 180 00:07:09,679 --> 00:07:11,848 [chuckles] Was it-- Was it the raccoons or… 181 00:07:11,931 --> 00:07:13,642 -God, I think it was everything. -'Cause I do love animals. 182 00:07:13,725 --> 00:07:16,645 I have a dog. It's dead, but I still live with it. 183 00:07:18,146 --> 00:07:19,356 [elevator door closes] 184 00:07:19,439 --> 00:07:21,566 Just had to brag about the raccoons, didn't you? 185 00:07:21,650 --> 00:07:24,027 And I can't even take credit because the coyotes killed them. 186 00:07:24,110 --> 00:07:26,571 -I remember. -Man, I fumbled that. You saw it? 187 00:07:26,655 --> 00:07:28,031 -I seent it. -It was nasty. 188 00:07:29,157 --> 00:07:32,202 I know you're disappointed that you won't be discharged tonight, 189 00:07:32,285 --> 00:07:34,537 but the doctor really needs to keep an eye on that heart murmur. 190 00:07:34,621 --> 00:07:36,956 Anyway, trick-or-treating is so overrated. 191 00:07:37,040 --> 00:07:39,417 Hey, babe. T-minus eight hours 192 00:07:39,501 --> 00:07:42,420 till it's trick-or-trick-or-trick- or-trick-or-trick-or-treat time. 193 00:07:42,504 --> 00:07:44,547 I made a whole schematic of the neighborhood for Nora and I. 194 00:07:44,631 --> 00:07:46,633 -All the best houses to hit up are marked. -Turk. 195 00:07:46,716 --> 00:07:48,468 Not everyone can go out tonight. 196 00:07:50,470 --> 00:07:51,471 Oh, hello, small child. 197 00:07:51,554 --> 00:07:54,182 My grandma's bald too, but she wears a wig. 198 00:07:54,265 --> 00:07:55,266 Damn. 199 00:07:55,350 --> 00:07:59,145 "King-size, unmanned bowl." These ones just say "gay." 200 00:07:59,229 --> 00:08:01,690 Everybody knows gay guys give out the best candy. 201 00:08:01,773 --> 00:08:03,066 I got all their houses marked. 202 00:08:03,149 --> 00:08:07,445 Do you think it's a good idea to have a map where every gay man's house is marked? 203 00:08:09,406 --> 00:08:10,407 Yep, I hear it now. 204 00:08:11,950 --> 00:08:14,119 I'll tell you what though, Ricky, I'm gonna go ahead and run some tests, 205 00:08:14,202 --> 00:08:17,706 make sure that your kidney transplant is acclimating with your body. 206 00:08:17,789 --> 00:08:21,584 What I need you to do is to stay right on schedule with your meds. 207 00:08:21,668 --> 00:08:23,086 -Can you do that for me? -Sure. 208 00:08:23,169 --> 00:08:25,213 Oh, and I need you to do something for me. 209 00:08:25,296 --> 00:08:29,342 My wife is so stressed about my illness that she's gained 10 pounds. 210 00:08:29,426 --> 00:08:32,345 She breathes into the phone like a pug after a long walk. 211 00:08:32,429 --> 00:08:35,598 I-I cannot stand talking to her, so you call her back. 212 00:08:37,684 --> 00:08:38,685 I'll get right on that. 213 00:08:41,104 --> 00:08:43,940 I am gonna kill that man before any illness does. 214 00:08:44,023 --> 00:08:46,359 -[chuckles] -I, uh… I need your help. 215 00:08:46,443 --> 00:08:48,945 How did you ever do this? 216 00:08:49,029 --> 00:08:53,033 -What, be a concierge doctor? -No, be someone's little bitch. 217 00:08:53,116 --> 00:08:54,242 What do you do with your soul? 218 00:08:54,325 --> 00:08:56,119 Tuck it into the drawer next to your testicles? 219 00:08:56,202 --> 00:09:00,457 Wow, okay, I am going to choose to hear the compliment within that insult. 220 00:09:00,540 --> 00:09:03,585 That. How do you do that? 221 00:09:03,668 --> 00:09:06,129 Do you mean my excellent bedside manner? 222 00:09:06,212 --> 00:09:08,423 Well, I could tell you, or… 223 00:09:09,382 --> 00:09:10,925 [♪ enchanting music plays] 224 00:09:11,009 --> 00:09:12,093 [gasps] 225 00:09:13,178 --> 00:09:14,179 Look. 226 00:09:14,262 --> 00:09:15,638 [birds chirping] 227 00:09:15,722 --> 00:09:20,727 ♪ Though a kiss upon the ass Will make a happy VIP ♪ 228 00:09:20,810 --> 00:09:26,983 ♪ To suck it up and pucker up Is no one's cup of tea ♪ 229 00:09:27,067 --> 00:09:31,488 ♪ So just take it and you'll make it As a concierge MD ♪ 230 00:09:31,571 --> 00:09:35,533 ♪ That's my pitch Be the bitch of the rich ♪ 231 00:09:36,785 --> 00:09:37,952 Thank you, lady. 232 00:09:38,036 --> 00:09:39,662 ♪ Ruff, ruff, ruff ♪ 233 00:09:39,746 --> 00:09:40,955 ♪ Ruff, ruff, ruff, ruff Ruff, ruff, ruff… ♪ 234 00:09:41,039 --> 00:09:44,417 -Rowdy, no, this is my song. -Oh! 235 00:09:44,501 --> 00:09:47,087 The winter air hits different when you're in a dress. 236 00:09:47,170 --> 00:09:48,963 Look, all these VIP patients want 237 00:09:49,047 --> 00:09:51,674 is to feel like they're being treated better than anybody else, 238 00:09:51,758 --> 00:09:53,426 so tell them the Chief of Medicine is on it 239 00:09:53,510 --> 00:09:55,762 and I'll get his workup done as quickly as possible. 240 00:09:55,845 --> 00:09:56,930 Thank you. 241 00:09:57,013 --> 00:09:59,724 You probably can't tell, but I'm actually pretty nervous. 242 00:09:59,808 --> 00:10:01,810 Oh, no, you totally can tell. 243 00:10:01,893 --> 00:10:02,894 Damn it, Tosh. 244 00:10:02,977 --> 00:10:04,521 [exhales] 245 00:10:04,604 --> 00:10:07,482 -What? No one showed up. -I did. 246 00:10:07,565 --> 00:10:10,276 I will always support you and your mobile clinics, girl, 247 00:10:10,360 --> 00:10:11,861 even though I don't like vans. 248 00:10:11,945 --> 00:10:14,405 They remind me of all the times I've been kidnapped. 249 00:10:14,489 --> 00:10:16,199 It's always a van, you know? 250 00:10:16,282 --> 00:10:18,660 Unbelievable. No one cares about women's health. 251 00:10:18,743 --> 00:10:21,037 No one does care about women's health. 252 00:10:21,121 --> 00:10:23,081 Ally. Go off, queen. 253 00:10:23,164 --> 00:10:25,708 See, that's what we need, more women supporting women. 254 00:10:26,459 --> 00:10:28,169 Oh! Maybe I spoke too soon. 255 00:10:28,253 --> 00:10:30,547 Is this where the hot tub erection debate is taking place? 256 00:10:30,630 --> 00:10:34,008 Oh, no, that got too big, so it moved to the Radisson across the street. 257 00:10:34,092 --> 00:10:35,468 Let's go, fellas. 258 00:10:35,552 --> 00:10:38,054 Hurry up. There's about to be a demonstration. 259 00:10:39,139 --> 00:10:41,015 Hey. You're not gonna like this, 260 00:10:41,099 --> 00:10:45,728 but your patient's blood work shows he's not taking his anti-rejection meds at all. 261 00:10:45,812 --> 00:10:46,813 He could lose that kidney. 262 00:10:46,896 --> 00:10:49,023 Son of a bitch, he lied to me. 263 00:10:49,107 --> 00:10:53,528 I know you're furious, but you can be gentle while still being in charge, 264 00:10:53,611 --> 00:10:55,864 -which is my medical philosophy. -[sighs] 265 00:10:55,947 --> 00:10:58,158 And actually also my lovemaking style. 266 00:10:58,241 --> 00:10:59,617 For the love of God. 267 00:10:59,701 --> 00:11:00,994 I thought you knew that. 268 00:11:01,077 --> 00:11:02,954 [laughing] 269 00:11:03,705 --> 00:11:05,165 Check out the Gumby. 270 00:11:05,248 --> 00:11:06,875 Where's Nora? She should be here by now. 271 00:11:06,958 --> 00:11:09,669 Before you or the hair get too attached, I have something to tell you. 272 00:11:09,752 --> 00:11:11,254 Okay. 273 00:11:11,337 --> 00:11:13,506 Nora called. She doesn't want to go trick-or-treating. 274 00:11:13,590 --> 00:11:15,675 [gasps, groans] 275 00:11:17,969 --> 00:11:19,429 -Why? -I'm sorry. 276 00:11:19,512 --> 00:11:21,848 She just wants to watch scary movies with her friends. 277 00:11:21,931 --> 00:11:23,224 She didn't want to make you sad. 278 00:11:24,684 --> 00:11:25,685 Why would I be sad? 279 00:11:26,603 --> 00:11:30,440 Hey, I didn't realize it earlier, but you're Dr. Dorian, aren't you? 280 00:11:30,523 --> 00:11:32,817 Yes, I am Dr. Dorian, Chief of Medicine. 281 00:11:32,901 --> 00:11:34,485 I run this place. How can I help you? 282 00:11:34,569 --> 00:11:36,112 Wow, well, I'm Cassie Simmons. 283 00:11:36,196 --> 00:11:37,739 I'm the new hospital administrator, 284 00:11:37,822 --> 00:11:42,493 so I guess that makes me the boss of the guy who runs this place. 285 00:11:42,577 --> 00:11:43,995 [both laughing] 286 00:11:47,040 --> 00:11:48,166 You seem really cool. 287 00:11:48,249 --> 00:11:51,127 When people realize I'm their boss, especially after they hit on me, 288 00:11:51,211 --> 00:11:53,796 they kind of usually make this crazy panic face. 289 00:11:53,880 --> 00:11:54,923 Yeah, like that one. 290 00:11:55,006 --> 00:11:57,383 This? No, no, no, no. I'm not… I'm not panicking. 291 00:11:57,467 --> 00:12:00,303 -Uh, will you excuse me for a quick sec? -Mm-hmm. 292 00:12:00,386 --> 00:12:01,721 [♪ enchanting music playing] 293 00:12:09,354 --> 00:12:11,648 I am so sorry. I didn't realize who you were. 294 00:12:11,731 --> 00:12:14,400 Most of the hospital administrators I ever met are old men 295 00:12:14,484 --> 00:12:17,695 who are just focused on profitability and efficiency. 296 00:12:17,779 --> 00:12:21,157 Hey, it's 2026. Women can get off on anything old men can. 297 00:12:21,241 --> 00:12:23,660 -[chuckles] -Except baby voice. 298 00:12:23,743 --> 00:12:25,036 [baby voice] That's just weird. 299 00:12:25,119 --> 00:12:26,204 [J.D.] God, that was hot. 300 00:12:26,287 --> 00:12:27,664 [normal voice] I'm just gonna lay my cards out on the table. 301 00:12:27,747 --> 00:12:29,791 -Let me see 'em. -The board hired me for a reason, 302 00:12:29,874 --> 00:12:32,293 -to trim the fat. -Whoa, whoa, whoa. We, uh… 303 00:12:32,377 --> 00:12:35,255 I know you're new here, but we don't body-shame at Sacred Heart. 304 00:12:35,338 --> 00:12:37,423 I know you may not believe this, but we both want the same thing, 305 00:12:37,507 --> 00:12:39,842 for this hospital to help as many people as possible. 306 00:12:39,926 --> 00:12:41,135 The only question is, 307 00:12:41,219 --> 00:12:44,222 are you going to be comfortable letting me take the lead on that? 308 00:12:44,305 --> 00:12:47,100 Listen, I will always put my patients first, 309 00:12:47,183 --> 00:12:49,936 but I am quite comfortable with you being on top of me. 310 00:12:50,019 --> 00:12:54,399 I mean, professionally on top of me, you know, and don't be afraid to ride me. 311 00:12:54,482 --> 00:12:57,568 I mean, you know, like, ride me, not… I'm not talking, you know… 312 00:12:58,569 --> 00:12:59,737 riding. 313 00:12:59,821 --> 00:13:04,575 I just want to be clear that I do not mix my professional life with my private life. 314 00:13:04,659 --> 00:13:05,827 Have you met my ex-wife? 315 00:13:05,910 --> 00:13:08,579 Hi. Cassie Simmons, hospital administrator. 316 00:13:08,663 --> 00:13:11,541 Elliot here is one of the greatest minds in this place. 317 00:13:11,624 --> 00:13:12,625 -How are you-- -You're a woman. 318 00:13:12,709 --> 00:13:14,544 See, nothing gets by her. 319 00:13:15,420 --> 00:13:18,339 Four daughters, all grown. 320 00:13:18,423 --> 00:13:21,592 Last year was my final trick-or-treat and I ain't even know it. 321 00:13:22,176 --> 00:13:23,344 I would have made it special. 322 00:13:27,307 --> 00:13:30,476 You stayed up with Nora till 2:00 a.m. counting and sorting. 323 00:13:30,560 --> 00:13:32,979 You TP'd the houses that gave out apples. 324 00:13:33,062 --> 00:13:35,648 You let her take a Skittles bath and messed up our plumbing. 325 00:13:35,732 --> 00:13:37,483 She was purple for a week, Turk. 326 00:13:37,567 --> 00:13:38,943 It had to end sometime. 327 00:13:39,027 --> 00:13:41,654 Yeah, well, I wish I could run myself a Skittles bath right now. 328 00:13:43,698 --> 00:13:44,782 [groans] 329 00:13:46,034 --> 00:13:47,618 -And the rest. -[tsks] 330 00:13:47,702 --> 00:13:49,537 Come on, man. 331 00:13:52,665 --> 00:13:55,418 -[indistinct conversation] -[giggling] 332 00:13:55,501 --> 00:13:57,503 -You're being distracting. -No, I'm not doing-- 333 00:13:57,587 --> 00:13:58,588 [groans] 334 00:13:58,671 --> 00:14:00,298 What does she see in that guy? 335 00:14:00,381 --> 00:14:03,885 Oh, I don't get it, but everyone in the hospital is like, 336 00:14:03,968 --> 00:14:09,766 "He's good-looking, smart, confident, funny, charming…" 337 00:14:09,849 --> 00:14:11,851 -People like you too. -Oh. 338 00:14:11,934 --> 00:14:13,895 You're the kind of guy everyone wants to have a beer with. 339 00:14:13,978 --> 00:14:14,979 Thanks, man. 340 00:14:15,063 --> 00:14:17,440 And then no one wants to do anything with you after the beer. 341 00:14:17,523 --> 00:14:20,234 I'll have you know, I do very well for myself. 342 00:14:20,318 --> 00:14:21,778 I have a ton of casual sex. 343 00:14:21,861 --> 00:14:24,280 I always thought of you as more of like a formal sex kind of guy, 344 00:14:24,363 --> 00:14:28,159 sort of like, "Are you enjoying the pace? May I kiss you there?" 345 00:14:28,242 --> 00:14:31,162 I will not apologize for being an inquisitive lover. 346 00:14:33,456 --> 00:14:35,083 I thought I made this very clear. 347 00:14:35,166 --> 00:14:40,296 You have to take your meds exactly as prescribed, or that kidney is gone. 348 00:14:40,379 --> 00:14:43,174 Let me be clear with you, I'm not doing that. 349 00:14:43,257 --> 00:14:48,012 The meds make me feel like crap. I'm nauseated, shaky, exhausted. 350 00:14:48,096 --> 00:14:50,848 It's gonna take some time, but your body will adjust. 351 00:14:50,932 --> 00:14:53,935 I don't adjust, Perry. You adjust. 352 00:14:54,018 --> 00:14:58,231 My buddy had his tremors cured by some lady who made him lick a Peruvian frog. 353 00:14:58,314 --> 00:15:00,274 So how about you do what I pay you for 354 00:15:00,358 --> 00:15:02,568 and figure out which amphibian I have to tongue. 355 00:15:02,652 --> 00:15:04,195 Here's what we're gonna do, Rick. 356 00:15:04,278 --> 00:15:07,198 [J.D.] Oh, no. It's a good thing this guy's already in the hospital. 357 00:15:09,117 --> 00:15:11,828 I am going to reach out to some of my homeopathic guys, 358 00:15:11,911 --> 00:15:14,956 and we're going to find a different way. 359 00:15:18,126 --> 00:15:20,628 -What the hell was that? -Stay in your lane, oldie. 360 00:15:21,462 --> 00:15:23,381 -Do you work here? -Me? No, no, no. No. 361 00:15:24,132 --> 00:15:28,136 And that is how one ice-cream truck can transform a community. 362 00:15:28,219 --> 00:15:31,681 What an incredible idea that would help so many people. 363 00:15:31,764 --> 00:15:32,765 [chuckles] Thank you. 364 00:15:32,849 --> 00:15:37,812 Uh, let me officially speak for the hospital when I say, uh, "No." 365 00:15:37,895 --> 00:15:40,481 [chuckles] I'm sorry, what? I don't understand. 366 00:15:40,565 --> 00:15:41,774 -[paper shredder whirring] -You agreed with me earlier 367 00:15:41,858 --> 00:15:43,818 that no one cares about women's health care. 368 00:15:43,901 --> 00:15:44,902 Oh, I'm so sorry. 369 00:15:44,986 --> 00:15:46,529 I didn't mean, "Oh, no. No one cares," 370 00:15:46,612 --> 00:15:48,656 like we're at a rally wearing genital hats. 371 00:15:48,739 --> 00:15:52,285 I meant, "Oh, no. No one cares," as in that won't make money for the hospital. 372 00:15:52,368 --> 00:15:54,036 [scoffs] Well, that is completely untrue. 373 00:15:55,037 --> 00:15:56,622 It would be an incredible tax write-off. 374 00:15:56,706 --> 00:16:00,168 If you can tell me what a tax write-off is, I'll fund your clinic right now. 375 00:16:02,670 --> 00:16:05,006 So, taxes. 376 00:16:05,548 --> 00:16:10,178 -We need them for roads and-and schools. -True. 377 00:16:10,261 --> 00:16:15,474 And then there's the federal deficit, which is a huge problem, 378 00:16:15,558 --> 00:16:21,022 which brings us right to the tea in Boston that they tossed "right off" the boat, 379 00:16:21,105 --> 00:16:25,318 which I believe is where the term "write-off" originates. 380 00:16:25,401 --> 00:16:26,652 So… [chuckles] 381 00:16:27,403 --> 00:16:30,448 Okay, hearing you talk, I'm now thinking maybe women's education 382 00:16:30,531 --> 00:16:32,742 might be more of a problem than women's health care. 383 00:16:33,242 --> 00:16:34,243 [J.D.] I don't get it. 384 00:16:34,327 --> 00:16:36,787 You come back to work without even letting me, your doctor, know, 385 00:16:36,871 --> 00:16:40,625 and now you're letting some jerk patient dictate his own health care? 386 00:16:40,708 --> 00:16:42,126 What are you not telling me? 387 00:16:42,210 --> 00:16:44,712 J.D., I didn't come back here because I was bored. 388 00:16:46,255 --> 00:16:50,968 I came back here because even with insurance, I am drowning in medical bills. 389 00:16:51,052 --> 00:16:54,305 The fact of the matter is I came back here because I need this job. 390 00:16:54,388 --> 00:16:55,932 Well, I had no idea it had gotten that bad. 391 00:16:56,015 --> 00:16:58,935 You thought I wanted to spend my retirement working? 392 00:16:59,018 --> 00:17:05,441 I had so many plans for my golden years, but all those plans are gone. 393 00:17:05,524 --> 00:17:08,861 And I did everything that I was supposed to do, and then I got sick. 394 00:17:12,198 --> 00:17:14,242 And here I am. [sighs] 395 00:17:14,325 --> 00:17:16,744 There's no shame in doing what you have to do. 396 00:17:16,827 --> 00:17:18,120 [phone chimes] 397 00:17:21,415 --> 00:17:23,501 You're gonna have to excuse me because, uh… 398 00:17:27,505 --> 00:17:28,714 Rick needs me to roll. 399 00:17:34,136 --> 00:17:37,473 So, Tessa really wanted to meet Bluey, 400 00:17:37,557 --> 00:17:39,976 but she's willing to settle 401 00:17:40,059 --> 00:17:42,562 -for trick-or-treating with Bobby Brown. -[gasps] 402 00:17:42,645 --> 00:17:45,356 I gave everyone candy from the vending machines to hand out. 403 00:17:45,439 --> 00:17:46,440 I get one more Halloween. 404 00:17:46,524 --> 00:17:49,735 I even made a map and circled all the gays. 405 00:17:49,819 --> 00:17:52,029 -You did? -No, baby, that's crazy. 406 00:17:52,113 --> 00:17:53,990 No, it isn't. We give out the best candy. 407 00:17:54,991 --> 00:17:56,701 -This guy, this guy… -Okay. 408 00:17:56,784 --> 00:17:59,829 …and this guy hasn't come out yet, but he's currently dressed as Cher. 409 00:17:59,912 --> 00:18:01,038 Who's Bobby Brown? 410 00:18:01,122 --> 00:18:03,499 Who's Bobby Brown? Who the hell is Bluey? 411 00:18:03,583 --> 00:18:05,376 -A dog. -So is Bobby Brown. 412 00:18:05,459 --> 00:18:07,712 -Turk. -We'll just skip that era. Come on. 413 00:18:07,795 --> 00:18:10,506 [J.D.] Sometimes it's fun to pretend to be somebody else. 414 00:18:12,258 --> 00:18:14,719 But the worst thing that can happen to a doctor 415 00:18:14,802 --> 00:18:16,929 is losing sight of who they really are. 416 00:18:18,306 --> 00:18:19,682 Pass him, pass him. 417 00:18:22,268 --> 00:18:23,477 Jesus. 418 00:18:23,561 --> 00:18:26,856 [staff member] Code Blue. Code Blue to Admissions. 419 00:18:26,939 --> 00:18:30,318 Code Blue. Code Blue to Admissions. 420 00:18:30,401 --> 00:18:33,571 Code Blue. Code Blue to Admissions. 421 00:18:33,654 --> 00:18:35,448 -[sustained beep] -[air hissing] 422 00:18:36,532 --> 00:18:37,867 [J.D.] Rhythm check. 423 00:18:39,035 --> 00:18:42,079 Pupils are fixed, nonreactive. 424 00:18:42,163 --> 00:18:45,374 -No brain stem response. -This may be non-survival neurologically. 425 00:18:45,458 --> 00:18:47,376 Patient's a donor. Continue compressions. 426 00:18:47,460 --> 00:18:49,003 I need an amp of Epi. 427 00:18:50,755 --> 00:18:53,549 -Epi's in. -Epi's in. That's a shockable rhythm. 428 00:18:53,633 --> 00:18:54,634 Okay, charge to 200. 429 00:18:54,717 --> 00:18:56,802 -[powering up] -Okay, clear. 430 00:18:56,886 --> 00:18:58,346 -And shock. -[clanks] 431 00:18:59,972 --> 00:19:03,434 [J.D.] So we have to find our way back to the best version of ourselves, 432 00:19:03,517 --> 00:19:05,895 even if the journey is full of monsters. 433 00:19:06,520 --> 00:19:07,521 She died? 434 00:19:07,605 --> 00:19:12,860 Yes, and very soon her organs will go to a mom or maybe a school teacher, 435 00:19:12,943 --> 00:19:15,237 or perhaps even an ungrateful bastard like you. 436 00:19:15,321 --> 00:19:16,322 What did you say to me? 437 00:19:16,405 --> 00:19:20,451 A couple of things I've been meaning to get off my chest all day. 438 00:19:20,534 --> 00:19:21,535 This… 439 00:19:22,578 --> 00:19:27,500 and this: It is my job as your doctor to help you manage the side effects 440 00:19:27,583 --> 00:19:29,168 of these medications. 441 00:19:29,251 --> 00:19:33,964 It is your job to show some respect to the person who gave you that kidney 442 00:19:34,048 --> 00:19:36,175 and all the people waiting to get one. 443 00:19:36,258 --> 00:19:40,346 And if you can't do that, I swear to God, I will reach up inside you, 444 00:19:40,429 --> 00:19:43,891 grab that organ, pull it out and give it to somebody who can appreciate it. 445 00:19:43,974 --> 00:19:44,975 You follow? 446 00:19:46,394 --> 00:19:47,853 -Yes. -Good. 447 00:19:53,025 --> 00:19:55,986 It's showtime! 448 00:19:56,070 --> 00:19:57,405 Ahhh! 449 00:19:59,448 --> 00:20:00,574 Why is no one in costume? 450 00:20:01,409 --> 00:20:02,410 We're cats. 451 00:20:02,952 --> 00:20:04,453 -[all] Meow. -Oh, my God. 452 00:20:04,537 --> 00:20:07,540 That is a lot of costume for a work mixer, Grant. 453 00:20:07,623 --> 00:20:10,501 -Yeah, no, I de-- Yeah, I can feel it now. -All right. 454 00:20:11,502 --> 00:20:15,047 There is no way women are having casual sex with you. 455 00:20:15,131 --> 00:20:17,299 That's super mean and a weird thing to say. 456 00:20:18,718 --> 00:20:20,219 [J.D.] As for me, I was finding out 457 00:20:20,302 --> 00:20:22,221 that moving on wasn't actually that frightening. 458 00:20:22,304 --> 00:20:25,975 Hey, would it be unprofessional if we go to this mixer together? 459 00:20:26,058 --> 00:20:28,477 I think I can keep it very professional. 460 00:20:28,561 --> 00:20:30,604 That's a little disappointing, but I'll still go. 461 00:20:30,688 --> 00:20:33,691 [J.D.] Even if I didn't realize she may be a monster after all. 462 00:20:33,774 --> 00:20:35,526 [♪ passionate saxophone music playing] 463 00:20:35,609 --> 00:20:37,194 [both laughing] 464 00:20:43,033 --> 00:20:45,578 All right, Tessa, this is Bobby Brown. 465 00:20:45,661 --> 00:20:47,037 -Hit it, babe. -[♪ "Every Little Step" playing] 466 00:20:47,121 --> 00:20:48,664 ♪ It's like that, it's like that ♪ 467 00:20:48,748 --> 00:20:51,083 ♪ Every little step I take ♪ 468 00:20:51,167 --> 00:20:53,711 ♪ You will be there ♪ 469 00:20:53,794 --> 00:20:55,963 ♪ Every little step I make ♪ 470 00:20:56,046 --> 00:20:58,591 ♪ We'll be together ♪ 471 00:20:58,674 --> 00:21:00,509 ♪ Every little step I take ♪ 472 00:21:00,593 --> 00:21:03,512 -♪ You will be there… ♪ -[music stops] 473 00:21:04,555 --> 00:21:05,723 Nothing? 474 00:21:06,474 --> 00:21:08,058 Where's your costume? 475 00:21:08,142 --> 00:21:12,521 Well, Tessa, most grown-ups don't like to dress up in silly Halloween costumes. 476 00:21:12,605 --> 00:21:14,273 Happy Halloween! 477 00:21:14,356 --> 00:21:18,694 You're getting candy! You get candy. Everybody gets candy! 478 00:21:18,778 --> 00:21:20,154 I want candy, Oprah. 479 00:21:20,237 --> 00:21:21,572 [laughter] 480 00:21:21,655 --> 00:21:25,618 Wow, gay guys really are the best at Halloween.