1 00:00:02,176 --> 00:00:02,828 [laughing] 2 00:00:02,872 --> 00:00:05,092 My turn. 3 00:00:05,135 --> 00:00:06,658 [making flatulent sound] 4 00:00:06,702 --> 00:00:08,747 [laughs] 5 00:00:10,097 --> 00:00:11,750 [making flatulent sound] 6 00:00:11,794 --> 00:00:13,274 [laughs] 7 00:00:13,317 --> 00:00:14,449 Wait, wait, wait. 8 00:00:15,972 --> 00:00:16,929 [making loud flatulent sound] 9 00:00:16,973 --> 00:00:18,975 [laughing] 10 00:00:19,019 --> 00:00:21,760 I had no idea homework could be so funny. 11 00:00:27,462 --> 00:00:29,986 It's suicide. 12 00:00:30,030 --> 00:00:32,467 I don't care, I'm going in. 13 00:00:37,733 --> 00:00:41,302 ♪ Yes, no, maybe 14 00:00:41,345 --> 00:00:43,782 ♪ I don't know 15 00:00:43,826 --> 00:00:47,134 ♪ Can you repeat the question? 16 00:00:47,177 --> 00:00:49,353 ♪ You're not the boss of me now ♪ 17 00:00:49,397 --> 00:00:51,486 ♪ You're not the boss of me now ♪ 18 00:00:51,529 --> 00:00:53,183 ♪ You're not the boss of me now ♪ 19 00:00:53,227 --> 00:00:56,360 ♪ And you're not so big 20 00:00:56,404 --> 00:00:58,536 ♪ You're not the boss of me now ♪ 21 00:00:58,580 --> 00:01:00,799 ♪ You're not the boss of me now ♪ 22 00:01:00,843 --> 00:01:03,367 ♪ You're not the boss of me now ♪ 23 00:01:03,411 --> 00:01:06,153 ♪ And you're not so big 24 00:01:06,196 --> 00:01:09,939 ♪ Life is unfair. 25 00:01:11,506 --> 00:01:12,681 Guess what. 26 00:01:12,724 --> 00:01:14,596 I just got back from the doctor. 27 00:01:14,639 --> 00:01:16,250 My spine is curved! 28 00:01:16,293 --> 00:01:17,947 How bad? No gym for two years. 29 00:01:17,990 --> 00:01:19,296 This is brilliant. 30 00:01:19,340 --> 00:01:22,778 I wonder if my third nipple can get me out of wrestling. 31 00:01:22,821 --> 00:01:23,735 DABNEY: It's worth a shot. 32 00:01:23,779 --> 00:01:25,041 Here comes... 33 00:01:25,085 --> 00:01:26,695 her royal... 34 00:01:26,738 --> 00:01:28,175 bitchiness. 35 00:01:32,179 --> 00:01:34,616 Cynthia just got back from a semester in New York 36 00:01:34,659 --> 00:01:36,357 and she's totally changed. 37 00:01:36,400 --> 00:01:37,575 She always used to be so happy. 38 00:01:37,619 --> 00:01:39,490 Now it's like she's given up on life. 39 00:01:39,534 --> 00:01:41,318 She's bitter and sarcastic. 40 00:01:41,362 --> 00:01:43,233 I mean, I could pull it off, 41 00:01:43,277 --> 00:01:44,365 but on her it's really unpleasant. 42 00:01:44,408 --> 00:01:49,239 Malcolm, can you ask your lemmings to move the herd 43 00:01:49,283 --> 00:01:51,285 an inch to the left so I could get past? 44 00:01:51,328 --> 00:01:54,244 I'm sorry, did you say "inch"? 45 00:01:54,288 --> 00:01:56,290 Don't you mean 2.54 centimeters? 46 00:01:56,333 --> 00:01:58,292 Or .254 decimeters? 47 00:01:58,335 --> 00:02:01,295 Or 25.4 million nanometers? 48 00:02:01,338 --> 00:02:03,079 Come on, guys, stop teasing her. 49 00:02:03,123 --> 00:02:04,385 You stink at it. 50 00:02:04,428 --> 00:02:06,300 Don't defend her, Malcolm. 51 00:02:06,343 --> 00:02:07,779 If I wanted this kind of abuse, 52 00:02:07,823 --> 00:02:10,739 I'd have a conversation with my oboe teacher. 53 00:02:10,782 --> 00:02:15,787 She's... dead... to us. 54 00:02:18,442 --> 00:02:21,750 Hey, are you okay? 55 00:02:21,793 --> 00:02:24,318 What are you talking about? What do you mean? 56 00:02:24,361 --> 00:02:26,668 Well, you've been acting kind of strange lately. 57 00:02:26,711 --> 00:02:29,236 Malcolm, look around you 58 00:02:29,279 --> 00:02:32,326 and reconsider your definition of strange. 59 00:02:32,369 --> 00:02:35,372 Over 12% deviation from vertical. 60 00:02:35,416 --> 00:02:37,505 Fair enough. 61 00:02:40,029 --> 00:02:42,466 Dad, look how high my kite is. 62 00:02:42,510 --> 00:02:44,207 Oh, that's great, son. 63 00:02:44,251 --> 00:02:45,426 That's terrific. 64 00:02:45,469 --> 00:02:47,123 You want to try? 65 00:02:47,167 --> 00:02:49,212 Uh, no.Why not? 66 00:02:49,256 --> 00:02:50,561 I don't like kites. 67 00:02:50,605 --> 00:02:52,824 What do you mean you don't like kites? 68 00:02:52,868 --> 00:02:55,087 I don't like kites and they don't like me. 69 00:02:55,131 --> 00:02:56,132 We-we just don't get along. 70 00:02:56,176 --> 00:02:58,352 You'd like it if you tried it. 71 00:02:58,395 --> 00:02:59,614 Come on. Just try it. 72 00:02:59,657 --> 00:03:01,311 Hold the string. 73 00:03:01,355 --> 00:03:03,444 [Hal groaning] 74 00:03:15,978 --> 00:03:17,109 [yelps] 75 00:03:17,153 --> 00:03:18,154 Hey, Lois. 76 00:03:18,198 --> 00:03:20,939 Karen, what are you doing out there? 77 00:03:20,983 --> 00:03:22,811 Come on in. 78 00:03:22,854 --> 00:03:23,812 I'm sorry. 79 00:03:23,855 --> 00:03:25,509 I didn't mean to lurk. 80 00:03:25,553 --> 00:03:27,859 I was working up the nerve to talk to you. 81 00:03:27,903 --> 00:03:29,383 Are you okay? 82 00:03:29,426 --> 00:03:32,081 You look different. 83 00:03:32,124 --> 00:03:33,300 I'm sober. 84 00:03:33,343 --> 00:03:34,431 Oh. 85 00:03:34,475 --> 00:03:36,694 Yeah, after I drove across that miniature golf course, 86 00:03:36,738 --> 00:03:39,306 they made me get into a 12-step program, so... 87 00:03:39,349 --> 00:03:40,394 Good for you. 88 00:03:40,437 --> 00:03:42,134 Yeah, thanks. I'm doing really great. 89 00:03:42,178 --> 00:03:43,527 Anyway, I'm up to the part 90 00:03:43,571 --> 00:03:45,399 where I'm supposed to make amends 91 00:03:45,442 --> 00:03:46,835 to the people that I've hurt. 92 00:03:46,878 --> 00:03:48,619 What did you ever do to me? 93 00:03:48,663 --> 00:03:50,447 Remember New Year's at Deb and Rich's 94 00:03:50,491 --> 00:03:53,102 where everyone was kissing at midnight? 95 00:03:53,145 --> 00:03:54,103 Yeah. 96 00:03:54,146 --> 00:03:55,539 Well, when I kissed your husband, 97 00:03:55,583 --> 00:03:58,542 I kind of... stuck my tongue in his mouth. 98 00:03:58,586 --> 00:04:00,283 I mean, I felt really terrible. 99 00:04:00,327 --> 00:04:01,415 And then after that 100 00:04:01,458 --> 00:04:03,112 I put my cigarette out in Rich's toupee. 101 00:04:03,155 --> 00:04:05,288 And those things go up so quickly, I had... 102 00:04:05,332 --> 00:04:07,899 You were French-kissing my husband? 103 00:04:07,943 --> 00:04:09,074 Don't be mad at him, Lois. 104 00:04:09,118 --> 00:04:11,294 He pushed me away after like five or six seconds. 105 00:04:11,338 --> 00:04:13,427 Well, it was definitely no more than ten. 106 00:04:13,470 --> 00:04:14,558 And I'm sure the only reason 107 00:04:14,602 --> 00:04:15,864 he was moving his tongue around 108 00:04:15,907 --> 00:04:17,866 was because he was trying to say something. 109 00:04:17,909 --> 00:04:19,084 That's enough, Karen. 110 00:04:19,128 --> 00:04:20,216 I-I-I get it. 111 00:04:20,260 --> 00:04:21,870 I'm sorry. 112 00:04:21,913 --> 00:04:22,740 [Karen sighing] 113 00:04:22,784 --> 00:04:24,525 Now I have to go over to Stephanie's 114 00:04:24,568 --> 00:04:26,918 and tell her she can take down those lost dog posters. 115 00:04:29,399 --> 00:04:31,140 Come on, Francis. 116 00:04:31,183 --> 00:04:32,359 It's Friday night. 117 00:04:32,402 --> 00:04:34,361 Can we please go out and get hammered? 118 00:04:34,404 --> 00:04:36,537 Is getting drunk all you ever think about? 119 00:04:36,580 --> 00:04:37,364 I mean, look at us. 120 00:04:37,407 --> 00:04:38,669 We work like dogs all day. 121 00:04:38,713 --> 00:04:40,976 We drink and then we work like hungover dogs. 122 00:04:41,019 --> 00:04:43,326 Is this really how you pictured your life? 123 00:04:43,370 --> 00:04:44,893 Ever since I was little. 124 00:04:44,936 --> 00:04:46,329 Why, what'd you picture? 125 00:04:46,373 --> 00:04:47,461 I don't know. 126 00:04:47,504 --> 00:04:49,158 There's just got to be more to life 127 00:04:49,201 --> 00:04:50,464 than getting falling-down drunk 128 00:04:50,507 --> 00:04:51,943 and behaving like a jackass. 129 00:04:51,987 --> 00:04:53,380 [laughing] 130 00:04:53,423 --> 00:04:55,512 Just looky what we found. 131 00:04:59,211 --> 00:05:01,126 You stole a totem pole?No, no, no, 132 00:05:01,170 --> 00:05:02,563 he asked to come with us. 133 00:05:02,606 --> 00:05:05,174 He hasn't shut up for an hour. 134 00:05:05,217 --> 00:05:06,393 You can't leave this here. 135 00:05:07,481 --> 00:05:08,351 People worship these things. 136 00:05:08,395 --> 00:05:09,918 It's like a sacred object. 137 00:05:09,961 --> 00:05:11,963 Do I have something in my teeth? 138 00:05:12,007 --> 00:05:13,574 Be honest.[laughing] 139 00:05:13,617 --> 00:05:14,923 What is wrong with you people?! 140 00:05:14,966 --> 00:05:17,621 You see a symbol of a world 141 00:05:17,665 --> 00:05:19,406 beyond scraping grease, and your first thought is, 142 00:05:19,449 --> 00:05:21,364 let's profane it in our cabin? 143 00:05:21,408 --> 00:05:24,585 Don't you have any respect for anything?! 144 00:05:25,499 --> 00:05:26,761 Look, a penny. 145 00:05:26,804 --> 00:05:27,936 It's mine! 146 00:05:27,979 --> 00:05:29,154 I saw it first! 147 00:05:29,198 --> 00:05:30,591 [arguing continues] 148 00:05:30,634 --> 00:05:32,636 CYNTHIA: Is my coffee ready yet? 149 00:05:32,680 --> 00:05:34,769 I can't believe you only have instant. 150 00:05:34,812 --> 00:05:38,076 I'm sorry our "Fol-gérs" isn't up to your standards. 151 00:05:38,120 --> 00:05:39,600 And I'd be a little more impressed 152 00:05:39,643 --> 00:05:41,297 with your coffee-drinking sophistication 153 00:05:41,341 --> 00:05:43,212 if you weren't wearing a kitty sweater. 154 00:05:43,255 --> 00:05:44,953 I'm supposed to take style tips 155 00:05:44,996 --> 00:05:47,869 from someone who keeps track of wrestling feuds. 156 00:05:47,912 --> 00:05:49,566 You know, ever since you've been back, 157 00:05:49,610 --> 00:05:50,654 you've been mean to everyone. 158 00:05:50,698 --> 00:05:52,656 I know you think you're better than us. 159 00:05:52,700 --> 00:05:53,831 Even if that's true, 160 00:05:53,875 --> 00:05:55,311 it doesn't give you the right 161 00:05:55,355 --> 00:05:56,312 to be nasty. 162 00:05:56,356 --> 00:05:57,444 If you keep this up, 163 00:05:57,487 --> 00:05:58,662 you're not going to have any friends. 164 00:05:58,706 --> 00:06:01,404 You think you know what everybody's problem is? 165 00:06:01,448 --> 00:06:02,623 Well, guess what, you don't. 166 00:06:02,666 --> 00:06:04,668 You think you're so smart and together 167 00:06:04,712 --> 00:06:07,889 and that no one notices what an unhappy little person 168 00:06:07,932 --> 00:06:09,238 you are. 169 00:06:09,281 --> 00:06:10,413 I'm sorry. 170 00:06:10,457 --> 00:06:11,458 I'm not going to stroke 171 00:06:11,501 --> 00:06:14,199 your fragile ego by confiding in you. 172 00:06:14,243 --> 00:06:15,244 Oh, yeah? 173 00:06:15,287 --> 00:06:17,246 Well, you're on fire. 174 00:06:17,289 --> 00:06:18,813 [screaming] 175 00:06:27,038 --> 00:06:28,910 [gasps] 176 00:06:28,953 --> 00:06:30,955 Mommy. 177 00:06:36,047 --> 00:06:37,614 CYNTHIA: How could you do that to me? 178 00:06:37,658 --> 00:06:39,660 You were on fire. I was just trying to help. 179 00:06:39,703 --> 00:06:41,488 How does yelling, "Oh, my God, 180 00:06:41,531 --> 00:06:43,620 where did those come from?" help? 181 00:06:43,664 --> 00:06:44,621 I'm sorry. 182 00:06:44,665 --> 00:06:46,057 It just... 183 00:06:46,101 --> 00:06:47,232 you scared me. 184 00:06:47,276 --> 00:06:48,059 They scared me. 185 00:06:48,103 --> 00:06:49,496 I mean, they don't scare me. 186 00:06:49,539 --> 00:06:50,627 They startled me. I... 187 00:06:50,671 --> 00:06:51,498 I hate this. 188 00:06:51,541 --> 00:06:53,674 Everyone looks at me like you did. 189 00:06:53,717 --> 00:06:55,284 Like I'm some kind of freak. 190 00:06:55,327 --> 00:06:57,112 I was surprised, that's all. 191 00:06:57,155 --> 00:06:58,679 It's just really different. 192 00:06:58,722 --> 00:07:00,463 I mean, I would react the same way 193 00:07:00,507 --> 00:07:02,117 if you had a new haircut. 194 00:07:02,160 --> 00:07:03,684 A giant haircut. 195 00:07:03,727 --> 00:07:05,860 No one can know about this. 196 00:07:05,903 --> 00:07:07,688 You can't tell anyone! 197 00:07:07,731 --> 00:07:08,950 What are you talking about? 198 00:07:08,993 --> 00:07:10,168 Promise me.But... 199 00:07:10,212 --> 00:07:11,343 Promise. 200 00:07:11,387 --> 00:07:12,344 All right. All right. 201 00:07:12,388 --> 00:07:13,520 I promise. 202 00:07:13,563 --> 00:07:15,391 Come on. You're fine. 203 00:07:15,435 --> 00:07:18,481 This is just a change on the outside. 204 00:07:18,525 --> 00:07:21,397 I mean, inside you're the same. 205 00:07:22,659 --> 00:07:24,095 If you give people a chance, they'll see that. 206 00:07:24,139 --> 00:07:26,271 Will you stop staring at them? 207 00:07:26,315 --> 00:07:28,491 Am... am I staring? 208 00:07:28,535 --> 00:07:29,884 Dad, I've been thinking 209 00:07:29,927 --> 00:07:32,539 about how to fix your kite problem. 210 00:07:32,582 --> 00:07:35,063 I don't have a kite problem. 211 00:07:35,106 --> 00:07:36,194 It's okay, Dad. 212 00:07:36,238 --> 00:07:37,631 Maybe we could start 213 00:07:37,674 --> 00:07:40,111 with you explaining why you hate kites. 214 00:07:41,896 --> 00:07:44,507 Let me try it. I want to try. 215 00:07:44,551 --> 00:07:46,466 Fine. Here, jerk. 216 00:07:49,904 --> 00:07:51,819 [gasps] 217 00:07:55,387 --> 00:07:56,911 Help me! Help! 218 00:08:01,611 --> 00:08:04,962 I just do! There doesn't need to be a reason. 219 00:08:06,660 --> 00:08:07,748 [clicking tongue] 220 00:08:07,791 --> 00:08:09,663 Doesn't Dewey ever have any homework? 221 00:08:09,706 --> 00:08:10,577 He seems to have 222 00:08:10,620 --> 00:08:12,753 an awful lot of time on his hands. 223 00:08:12,796 --> 00:08:14,581 Something wrong?Yesterday I had 224 00:08:14,624 --> 00:08:17,148 the most interesting conversation with Karen. 225 00:08:17,192 --> 00:08:18,759 She's in this program 226 00:08:18,802 --> 00:08:20,761 where you have to apologize to your loved ones, 227 00:08:20,804 --> 00:08:22,806 and it got me thinking... 228 00:08:22,850 --> 00:08:26,201 do I have anything that I need to apologize for? 229 00:08:26,244 --> 00:08:27,419 Okay, by you, you mean me. 230 00:08:27,463 --> 00:08:29,378 And since you're phrasing it as a question, 231 00:08:29,421 --> 00:08:31,032 it means you already know the answer. 232 00:08:31,075 --> 00:08:33,469 Karen told me that you French-kissed her 233 00:08:33,513 --> 00:08:34,601 on New Year's Eve. 234 00:08:34,644 --> 00:08:36,385 What? I did not. 235 00:08:37,212 --> 00:08:38,822 I can't believe it. 236 00:08:38,866 --> 00:08:41,390 You-You're actually accusing me of this? 237 00:08:41,433 --> 00:08:42,913 Why would Karen lie? 238 00:08:42,957 --> 00:08:43,784 Why would Ilie? 239 00:08:43,827 --> 00:08:45,481 Lois, for the past 20 years 240 00:08:45,525 --> 00:08:46,830 yours has been the only tongue 241 00:08:46,874 --> 00:08:47,788 that's been in my mouth. 242 00:08:47,831 --> 00:08:50,442 Now, you're just going to have to believe that. 243 00:08:50,486 --> 00:08:51,618 I don't lie. 244 00:08:51,661 --> 00:08:53,620 So, are we going to fly kites tomorrow? 245 00:08:53,663 --> 00:08:56,840 Sorry, son, I have to testify at a murder trial. 246 00:08:56,884 --> 00:08:57,754 But darn it, you're my son 247 00:08:57,798 --> 00:08:59,756 and I want to go to the park with you. 248 00:08:59,800 --> 00:09:01,279 Thanks, Dad. 249 00:09:01,323 --> 00:09:02,411 The kids don't count. 250 00:09:02,454 --> 00:09:03,847 Hal, it wouldn't be such a big deal 251 00:09:03,891 --> 00:09:05,196 if you would just admit it. 252 00:09:05,240 --> 00:09:06,720 Oh, come on, Lois. 253 00:09:06,763 --> 00:09:09,461 What possible reason would I have to kiss Karen? 254 00:09:09,505 --> 00:09:10,637 You're a man. 255 00:09:10,680 --> 00:09:11,638 What is that supposed to mean? 256 00:09:11,681 --> 00:09:13,814 You have been with the same woman all these years. 257 00:09:13,857 --> 00:09:17,078 It's only natural to be a little... curious. 258 00:09:17,121 --> 00:09:18,427 About what? 259 00:09:18,470 --> 00:09:19,428 You mean to tell me, 260 00:09:19,471 --> 00:09:20,821 after all these years of marriage, 261 00:09:20,864 --> 00:09:23,606 you've never even so much as thought about another woman? 262 00:09:23,650 --> 00:09:26,000 What are you talking about? 263 00:09:26,043 --> 00:09:27,828 If you are just going to be ridiculous, 264 00:09:27,871 --> 00:09:31,092 there is no point in carrying on this conversation. 265 00:09:31,135 --> 00:09:34,486 But you are on notice. 266 00:09:40,710 --> 00:09:42,799 Wait! I want to talk to you! 267 00:09:47,891 --> 00:09:49,458 You are unhappy. 268 00:09:49,501 --> 00:09:50,851 Yes, I am. 269 00:09:50,894 --> 00:09:51,634 Why? 270 00:09:51,678 --> 00:09:53,636 I think I may have ruined my life. 271 00:09:53,680 --> 00:09:56,030 I left my family and friends to come up here. 272 00:09:56,073 --> 00:09:58,119 I was supposed to be finding myself, 273 00:09:58,162 --> 00:10:00,774 but all I feel is empty. 274 00:10:00,817 --> 00:10:04,038 I have the answer to your suffering, Francis. 275 00:10:04,081 --> 00:10:05,474 The answer is... 276 00:10:05,517 --> 00:10:06,780 PETE: Francis! 277 00:10:06,823 --> 00:10:07,694 Oh. 278 00:10:07,737 --> 00:10:09,434 Who was that spiky-head kid 279 00:10:09,478 --> 00:10:11,219 that was friends with Little Lulu? 280 00:10:11,262 --> 00:10:12,220 What? 281 00:10:12,263 --> 00:10:13,525 Ah, don't worry. 282 00:10:13,569 --> 00:10:16,746 Maybe it'll come to you if you sleep on it, hmm? 283 00:10:22,491 --> 00:10:23,753 Everything's ready. 284 00:10:23,797 --> 00:10:24,798 The kite tail is set. 285 00:10:24,841 --> 00:10:26,016 It's a windy day. 286 00:10:26,060 --> 00:10:27,714 Now, say it. 287 00:10:27,757 --> 00:10:29,803 I am not cursed. 288 00:10:29,846 --> 00:10:30,673 Good. Now, run 289 00:10:30,717 --> 00:10:33,720 and don't stop until it's in the air. 290 00:10:36,636 --> 00:10:40,030 I am not cursed. I am not cursed. 291 00:10:40,074 --> 00:10:42,729 [whimpering] 292 00:10:42,772 --> 00:10:43,860 [angry chatter] 293 00:10:43,904 --> 00:10:45,296 Come on, get out of the field. 294 00:10:46,515 --> 00:10:48,517 Oh, excuse me. 295 00:10:49,779 --> 00:10:50,693 Sorry. 296 00:10:52,434 --> 00:10:53,565 [laughing] 297 00:10:53,609 --> 00:10:56,525 It's flying! It's flying! 298 00:10:56,568 --> 00:10:59,006 [grunts] 299 00:11:00,137 --> 00:11:01,269 [nasal laughter] 300 00:11:01,312 --> 00:11:02,836 I can't believe 301 00:11:02,879 --> 00:11:05,490 you guys threw refrigerator magnets at Dabney's back brace. 302 00:11:05,534 --> 00:11:06,622 Come on. It was great. 303 00:11:06,666 --> 00:11:07,971 He was walking around all day 304 00:11:08,015 --> 00:11:09,973 with "Florida is for Lovers" on his back. 305 00:11:10,017 --> 00:11:12,149 [laughing shrilly] 306 00:11:12,193 --> 00:11:13,934 That laugh is so not cute. 307 00:11:13,977 --> 00:11:16,937 I'm sorry my laugh isn't as melodious 308 00:11:16,980 --> 00:11:18,982 as your lovely, cracking voice. 309 00:11:19,026 --> 00:11:20,941 "My name's Malcolm. 310 00:11:20,984 --> 00:11:23,726 I have all the answers, but no one to listen to me." 311 00:11:23,770 --> 00:11:24,945 Oh, that's funny. 312 00:11:24,988 --> 00:11:25,772 [laughs and snorts] 313 00:11:25,815 --> 00:11:28,949 [laughing] 314 00:11:28,992 --> 00:11:30,559 This was fun. 315 00:11:30,602 --> 00:11:33,693 Hi, Reese. 316 00:11:35,259 --> 00:11:36,347 What a pig. 317 00:11:36,391 --> 00:11:38,306 What? What happened to your friend? 318 00:11:38,349 --> 00:11:40,830 She was never that great, but now, geez. 319 00:11:40,874 --> 00:11:42,789 It's like she's trying to be ugly. 320 00:11:42,832 --> 00:11:44,007 Shut up. Someone should tell her 321 00:11:44,051 --> 00:11:46,357 she's not in Euro-pee-uh anymore. 322 00:11:46,401 --> 00:11:47,968 In America we take showers. 323 00:11:48,011 --> 00:11:49,796 Drop it, Reese. She doesn't smell. 324 00:11:49,839 --> 00:11:51,972 Well, she dresses like a bag lady. 325 00:11:52,015 --> 00:11:52,973 Oh, oh, I know. 326 00:11:53,016 --> 00:11:55,802 Her butt is gigantic, and she's trying to hide it. 327 00:11:55,845 --> 00:11:57,020 This is so great. 328 00:11:57,064 --> 00:11:58,761 I have so much material for that. 329 00:11:58,805 --> 00:12:00,371 I have a "wide load" sticker 330 00:12:00,415 --> 00:12:02,765 and I can make the truck noise when she backs up. 331 00:12:02,809 --> 00:12:04,680 Beep, beep, beep... 332 00:12:04,724 --> 00:12:07,552 Reese, when exactly is she going to back up? 333 00:12:07,596 --> 00:12:08,684 You're right. 334 00:12:08,728 --> 00:12:09,990 Okay, when's her lunch period? 335 00:12:10,033 --> 00:12:11,818 I think I'll sneak in and throw bacon at her. 336 00:12:11,861 --> 00:12:12,775 Then she'll back up. 337 00:12:12,819 --> 00:12:13,776 Beep, beep, beep... 338 00:12:13,820 --> 00:12:15,952 Look, moron, she's not hiding her butt. 339 00:12:15,996 --> 00:12:18,128 She's hiding her big boobs, okay? 340 00:12:18,172 --> 00:12:22,350 So, if you tease her, you're just going to look like a... 341 00:12:22,393 --> 00:12:25,396 You are a good, good brother. 342 00:12:25,440 --> 00:12:26,920 No. 343 00:12:26,963 --> 00:12:29,226 I lied. Her butt ishuge. 344 00:12:35,711 --> 00:12:36,886 I think it helped Cynthia 345 00:12:36,930 --> 00:12:37,931 to tell me what was bothering her. 346 00:12:37,974 --> 00:12:39,889 She's been in a much better mood at school. 347 00:12:39,933 --> 00:12:42,022 She even stuck her homework up on Dabney's back. 348 00:12:42,065 --> 00:12:43,632 [screams] 349 00:12:43,675 --> 00:12:45,634 What are you doing?!Algebra. 350 00:12:49,072 --> 00:12:50,378 What did he say to you? 351 00:12:50,421 --> 00:12:51,509 Malcolm, calm down. 352 00:12:51,553 --> 00:12:54,034 I'm just helping him with his homework. 353 00:12:54,077 --> 00:12:55,949 You know Reese doesn't care about school. 354 00:12:55,992 --> 00:12:57,167 That's what Ithought, 355 00:12:57,211 --> 00:13:00,083 but when he asked me for help, 356 00:13:00,127 --> 00:13:03,826 he sounded so pathetic, I couldn't say no. 357 00:13:03,870 --> 00:13:06,611 How are you doing on number five? 358 00:13:06,655 --> 00:13:09,397 Awful. I'm never going to get this. 359 00:13:09,440 --> 00:13:11,051 I'm such an idiot. 360 00:13:11,094 --> 00:13:12,443 No, you're not. 361 00:13:12,487 --> 00:13:15,533 Everyone says I'm an idiot all the time. 362 00:13:15,577 --> 00:13:16,839 Well, he is. 363 00:13:16,883 --> 00:13:18,536 Malcolm! 364 00:13:18,580 --> 00:13:19,973 It's not his fault. 365 00:13:20,016 --> 00:13:22,192 Someone at some point decided I was dumb, 366 00:13:22,236 --> 00:13:24,107 and that's all anyone ever sees of me. 367 00:13:24,151 --> 00:13:26,283 Why do they always focus on one detail? 368 00:13:26,327 --> 00:13:29,896 They can never look at the whole person. 369 00:13:29,939 --> 00:13:32,376 I don't know. 370 00:13:36,250 --> 00:13:37,991 Francis, man, Lavernia's going to kill you 371 00:13:38,034 --> 00:13:39,906 if you miss another shift. 372 00:13:39,949 --> 00:13:42,256 Let her. I'm not walking away from this totem pole right now. 373 00:13:42,299 --> 00:13:43,910 Not when I'm this close to figuring out 374 00:13:43,953 --> 00:13:45,085 what it is it's trying to tell me. 375 00:13:45,128 --> 00:13:47,043 Have you even eaten anything? 376 00:13:47,087 --> 00:13:48,001 No. I'm fasting. 377 00:13:48,044 --> 00:13:49,350 It helps my meditation. 378 00:13:49,393 --> 00:13:51,091 I can't explain it, but there's some kind 379 00:13:51,134 --> 00:13:52,309 of an energy running through this thing. 380 00:13:52,353 --> 00:13:53,484 It gave me that dream. 381 00:13:53,528 --> 00:13:55,878 It's trying to help me get to something. 382 00:13:55,922 --> 00:13:57,488 That's it. We're getting rid of this thing, 383 00:13:57,532 --> 00:13:59,664 and we're putting you back on corn dogs and porn 384 00:13:59,708 --> 00:14:01,231 for your own safety. 385 00:14:01,275 --> 00:14:02,493 [grunts] 386 00:14:03,494 --> 00:14:05,714 Back away from the pole. 387 00:14:05,757 --> 00:14:10,371 So... you guys want to go... 388 00:14:10,414 --> 00:14:12,373 shoot some eagles? 389 00:14:12,416 --> 00:14:15,158 Nothing else to do. 390 00:14:22,339 --> 00:14:23,819 What are you going 391 00:14:23,863 --> 00:14:24,689 to do to her? 392 00:14:24,733 --> 00:14:26,778 I don't know what you're talking about. 393 00:14:26,822 --> 00:14:28,955 Okay, I've been dying to tell someone. 394 00:14:28,998 --> 00:14:30,826 Malcolm, I'm going to see them. 395 00:14:30,870 --> 00:14:32,088 What?I'm going to be nice to her, 396 00:14:32,132 --> 00:14:35,309 make her my girlfriend, and get her to take her top off. 397 00:14:35,352 --> 00:14:36,266 You're crazy. 398 00:14:36,310 --> 00:14:37,920 That's what Ithought at first, 399 00:14:37,964 --> 00:14:39,748 but I've got it all figured out. 400 00:14:41,532 --> 00:14:43,143 I've been working on this for days. 401 00:14:43,186 --> 00:14:45,710 Tomorrow I'll reveal an embarrassing secret 402 00:14:45,754 --> 00:14:47,060 that makes her feel trusted. 403 00:14:47,103 --> 00:14:49,932 Friday I'll sneak a kiss and then apologize. 404 00:14:49,976 --> 00:14:52,021 Three days later I actually ask her out, 405 00:14:52,065 --> 00:14:54,154 she catches me crying, make-out session, 406 00:14:54,197 --> 00:14:56,199 she discovers a love letter in my back pocket, 407 00:14:56,243 --> 00:15:00,203 heavier make-out session, all culminating in March 8: 408 00:15:00,247 --> 00:15:01,683 Double-D Day. 409 00:15:03,554 --> 00:15:05,339 You're pure evil! 410 00:15:05,382 --> 00:15:06,601 Who's more evil? 411 00:15:06,644 --> 00:15:08,429 Me or the person who told me? 412 00:15:08,472 --> 00:15:11,084 You!Yeah, but you'dstill be in trouble. 413 00:15:11,127 --> 00:15:13,086 I bet she'd never forgive you. 414 00:15:13,129 --> 00:15:14,304 Now, if you'll excuse me, 415 00:15:14,348 --> 00:15:16,437 I have to go make a mix tape. 416 00:15:18,395 --> 00:15:20,441 Okay, so we had a little setback, 417 00:15:20,484 --> 00:15:22,182 but don't give up. 418 00:15:22,225 --> 00:15:24,880 [howling]: Oh, forget it! 419 00:15:24,924 --> 00:15:26,360 I'm sick of this! 420 00:15:26,403 --> 00:15:27,143 I hate kites! 421 00:15:27,187 --> 00:15:29,624 I have always hated kites! 422 00:15:29,667 --> 00:15:33,193 Dad, don't freak out in front of the other kids. 423 00:15:33,236 --> 00:15:35,021 No! I'm never going to get this 424 00:15:35,064 --> 00:15:36,587 and I don't want to! 425 00:15:36,631 --> 00:15:38,111 You can't just give up. 426 00:15:38,154 --> 00:15:40,461 I can give up whenever I want to, and I give up! 427 00:15:40,504 --> 00:15:41,810 That's it! 428 00:15:41,853 --> 00:15:43,203 I'm tired of your attitude. 429 00:15:43,246 --> 00:15:44,117 I'm going home. 430 00:15:44,160 --> 00:15:47,468 Dewey! Dewey, come back here. 431 00:15:47,511 --> 00:15:49,992 It's too far for you to walk. 432 00:15:50,036 --> 00:15:50,993 Oh! 433 00:15:51,037 --> 00:15:53,648 Dewey! 434 00:15:53,691 --> 00:15:56,651 Dewey, stop! 435 00:15:56,694 --> 00:15:58,566 Dewey! 436 00:15:58,609 --> 00:16:01,221 Don't you ever run away like that again! 437 00:16:01,264 --> 00:16:04,702 There's something on the back of your pants. 438 00:16:07,749 --> 00:16:10,056 [laughs] 439 00:16:10,099 --> 00:16:12,841 I'm flying a kite! 440 00:16:12,884 --> 00:16:15,670 I'm flying a kite! 441 00:16:15,713 --> 00:16:17,237 Lois, I did it! 442 00:16:17,280 --> 00:16:18,064 I did it! 443 00:16:18,107 --> 00:16:19,848 I actually flew a kite! 444 00:16:19,891 --> 00:16:22,807 I can't believe I actually thought these were evil. 445 00:16:22,851 --> 00:16:23,852 I love this kite. 446 00:16:23,895 --> 00:16:25,680 Why don't you kiss it? 447 00:16:25,723 --> 00:16:27,421 Oh, for God's sake. 448 00:16:27,464 --> 00:16:29,858 Are you still obsessing about that? 449 00:16:29,901 --> 00:16:31,816 I want a straight answer out of you. 450 00:16:31,860 --> 00:16:33,122 Lois, I swear, 451 00:16:33,166 --> 00:16:34,428 from the moment I laid eyes on you, 452 00:16:34,471 --> 00:16:36,908 you were the only woman in the world for me. 453 00:16:36,952 --> 00:16:37,909 So you mean to tell me 454 00:16:37,953 --> 00:16:39,172 that unlike any other man alive, 455 00:16:39,215 --> 00:16:40,956 you don't even have a glancing interest 456 00:16:41,000 --> 00:16:42,175 for other women? 457 00:16:42,218 --> 00:16:44,873 You and you alone stand outside the dictates 458 00:16:44,916 --> 00:16:46,614 of millions of years of evolution? 459 00:16:46,657 --> 00:16:49,530 Why is that so hard for you to believe? 460 00:16:49,573 --> 00:16:52,533 Because I look at other men! 461 00:16:53,882 --> 00:16:55,405 Not seriously 462 00:16:55,449 --> 00:16:57,059 and I would never do anything about it, 463 00:16:57,103 --> 00:17:00,062 but, God, Hal, I notice. 464 00:17:00,106 --> 00:17:02,934 And if you don't, it means that... 465 00:17:04,153 --> 00:17:06,242 ...it means that you love me 466 00:17:06,286 --> 00:17:08,288 more than I love you. 467 00:17:08,330 --> 00:17:11,204 Well, honey, that's always been true. 468 00:17:11,247 --> 00:17:13,118 Of course I love you more. 469 00:17:13,162 --> 00:17:15,425 And you're okay with that? 470 00:17:15,469 --> 00:17:16,731 Oh, yeah. 471 00:17:16,773 --> 00:17:17,949 I mean, think about it. 472 00:17:17,992 --> 00:17:19,473 If you loved me as much as I loved you, 473 00:17:19,516 --> 00:17:21,300 we'd never leave the bedroom. 474 00:17:21,344 --> 00:17:22,345 Nothing would get done. 475 00:17:22,388 --> 00:17:24,217 We'd die of starvation. 476 00:17:24,260 --> 00:17:27,089 [chuckling]: I love you! 477 00:17:27,133 --> 00:17:29,309 Oh... 478 00:17:30,136 --> 00:17:32,790 Not as much as I love you. 479 00:17:32,834 --> 00:17:35,228 I have fasted, I have meditated, 480 00:17:35,271 --> 00:17:38,144 I got frostbite spending a night in the wilderness. 481 00:17:38,187 --> 00:17:41,103 I just want to know what to do. 482 00:17:41,147 --> 00:17:42,365 What am I missing? 483 00:17:42,409 --> 00:17:44,498 Okay, let's see, there's a wolf. 484 00:17:44,541 --> 00:17:45,977 What's that? 485 00:17:46,021 --> 00:17:47,370 Loyalty. 486 00:17:47,414 --> 00:17:48,676 And the eagle. 487 00:17:48,719 --> 00:17:51,722 Keen insight. Insight. 488 00:17:51,766 --> 00:17:53,333 And the frog is... 489 00:17:53,376 --> 00:17:55,378 bug-eating. 490 00:17:55,422 --> 00:17:58,120 But what does it have to do with anything?! 491 00:17:58,164 --> 00:18:02,994 Please, just give me a sign or-or a signal or-or something! 492 00:18:05,823 --> 00:18:07,042 Oh, my God! 493 00:18:07,086 --> 00:18:10,611 You the dirtbag that took my pole? Huh? 494 00:18:10,654 --> 00:18:12,352 That's my pole. 495 00:18:12,395 --> 00:18:13,614 I want it back. 496 00:18:13,657 --> 00:18:14,963 Oh, of course. 497 00:18:15,006 --> 00:18:16,486 I'm so sorry. 498 00:18:16,530 --> 00:18:18,749 Look, I didn't take it, but, please, I'm going crazy. 499 00:18:18,793 --> 00:18:20,490 Can you tell me what it means? 500 00:18:20,534 --> 00:18:22,101 Well, if I hit it, 501 00:18:22,144 --> 00:18:24,320 it means I'm five inches away from the back of my carport. 502 00:18:24,364 --> 00:18:27,845 What?! You use this as a wheel stop? 503 00:18:27,889 --> 00:18:30,152 This beautiful, sacred thing? 504 00:18:30,196 --> 00:18:31,936 Sacred? It's a decoration. 505 00:18:31,980 --> 00:18:34,374 You know, like a coat of arms or a storybook. 506 00:18:34,417 --> 00:18:37,028 It's a pretty chunk of wood that my kids helped me carve 507 00:18:37,072 --> 00:18:38,726 on a nice Saturday afternoon. 508 00:18:38,769 --> 00:18:42,251 But you can't tell me that you can't feel the energy...! 509 00:18:42,295 --> 00:18:44,384 You white boys are all the same. 510 00:18:44,427 --> 00:18:47,213 I've got dark skin, so I must dance with the bears 511 00:18:47,256 --> 00:18:49,824 and listen to the spirit of the wind. 512 00:18:49,867 --> 00:18:51,391 I've got news for you. 513 00:18:51,434 --> 00:18:52,392 I work for a living. 514 00:18:52,435 --> 00:18:56,178 I'm a Baptist, and I'm proud of it. 515 00:18:56,222 --> 00:18:57,832 But... 516 00:18:57,875 --> 00:18:59,138 are you sure? 517 00:18:59,181 --> 00:19:03,533 And by the way, I have only one word for snow: 518 00:19:03,577 --> 00:19:06,101 snow. 519 00:19:09,452 --> 00:19:12,325 [girl giggling] 520 00:19:12,368 --> 00:19:13,282 No! 521 00:19:13,326 --> 00:19:13,804 Stop! 522 00:19:13,848 --> 00:19:15,589 Malcolm... 523 00:19:15,632 --> 00:19:17,895 Don't do this. He's not who you think he is. 524 00:19:17,939 --> 00:19:19,288 I didn't want to tell you, 525 00:19:19,332 --> 00:19:20,289 but the only reason 526 00:19:20,333 --> 00:19:21,247 Reese has shown any interest in you 527 00:19:21,290 --> 00:19:23,031 is because I told him you have big breasts. 528 00:19:23,074 --> 00:19:24,467 What?It just happened. 529 00:19:24,511 --> 00:19:25,773 I'm really sorry. 530 00:19:25,816 --> 00:19:28,471 But he only wants you for your boobs. 531 00:19:28,515 --> 00:19:29,211 Stop saying that! 532 00:19:29,255 --> 00:19:31,213 He planned all this. 533 00:19:31,257 --> 00:19:32,997 I can prove it. 534 00:19:33,041 --> 00:19:34,695 He wrote it all down. 535 00:19:34,738 --> 00:19:36,436 This isn't it. 536 00:19:36,479 --> 00:19:37,872 Where's your real calendar? 537 00:19:37,915 --> 00:19:39,613 That ismy calendar. 538 00:19:39,656 --> 00:19:42,093 All the proceeds went to an animal shelter. 539 00:19:42,137 --> 00:19:43,443 He's just using you. 540 00:19:43,486 --> 00:19:45,314 And what's worse is you're falling for it. 541 00:19:45,358 --> 00:19:47,316 Leave me alone! 542 00:19:47,360 --> 00:19:48,622 You heard her! 543 00:19:48,665 --> 00:19:50,841 But... 544 00:19:50,885 --> 00:19:52,495 What's her name? 545 00:19:52,539 --> 00:19:54,105 What? 546 00:19:54,149 --> 00:19:57,108 What's... her... name? 547 00:20:00,329 --> 00:20:02,853 I know what her name is. 548 00:20:02,897 --> 00:20:06,466 And I am not going to dignify that with a response. 549 00:20:06,509 --> 00:20:10,644 I know what her name is, and her name... is... 550 00:20:13,560 --> 00:20:14,735 Uh... 551 00:20:15,214 --> 00:20:16,345 [groans] 552 00:20:16,389 --> 00:20:18,869 How can you be so creepy?! 553 00:20:18,913 --> 00:20:19,870 Don't you even have 554 00:20:19,914 --> 00:20:21,437 the remotest sense of decency 555 00:20:21,481 --> 00:20:23,526 towards a fellow human being? 556 00:20:23,570 --> 00:20:25,136 I have feelings! 557 00:20:25,180 --> 00:20:28,270 I will be treated with respect![Reese yelling] 558 00:20:28,314 --> 00:20:30,185 I will not be objectified! 559 00:20:30,229 --> 00:20:33,275 I will not be humiliated or demeaned! 560 00:20:33,319 --> 00:20:34,755 Now kiss my shoe! 561 00:20:34,798 --> 00:20:35,756 [Reese screams] 562 00:20:35,799 --> 00:20:37,888 Kiss... my... shoe! 563 00:20:37,932 --> 00:20:39,325 HAL: The private says, 564 00:20:39,368 --> 00:20:41,283 "But, General, I didn't touch your toast!" 565 00:20:41,327 --> 00:20:42,328 [both laughing] 566 00:20:42,371 --> 00:20:43,372 [snorts] 567 00:20:43,416 --> 00:20:44,330 So, Cynthia, 568 00:20:44,373 --> 00:20:46,157 something's different about you. 569 00:20:46,201 --> 00:20:47,463 Did you get 570 00:20:47,507 --> 00:20:48,334 a haircut? 571 00:20:48,377 --> 00:20:49,770 Oh, very stylish. 572 00:20:49,813 --> 00:20:51,075 [chuckling] 573 00:20:51,119 --> 00:20:52,338 LOIS: Cynthia, 574 00:20:52,381 --> 00:20:53,339 did you like Europe? 575 00:20:53,382 --> 00:20:54,340 I did. 576 00:20:54,383 --> 00:20:55,471 I forget sometimes 577 00:20:55,515 --> 00:20:57,865 that there's a whole world out there 578 00:20:57,908 --> 00:21:01,129 that's not full of prurient, adolescent boys. 579 00:21:01,172 --> 00:21:02,870 There's sophisticated people 580 00:21:02,913 --> 00:21:05,786 who treat me nicely and keep their mouths shut. 581 00:21:05,829 --> 00:21:07,701 I get it. Oh... 582 00:21:08,745 --> 00:21:09,790 Yes? 583 00:21:09,833 --> 00:21:11,313 Is-Is Lois here? 584 00:21:11,357 --> 00:21:12,967 Honey? Oh, my God. 585 00:21:13,010 --> 00:21:14,185 Are you Lois' husband? 586 00:21:14,229 --> 00:21:15,317 Uh-huh. 587 00:21:15,361 --> 00:21:17,406 So, who is married to the bald guy 588 00:21:17,450 --> 00:21:18,407 with the earring? 589 00:21:18,451 --> 00:21:19,887 That's Donna. 590 00:21:19,930 --> 00:21:23,717 Darn it! I thought that was one house I didn't have to go to. 591 00:21:24,544 --> 00:21:26,328 Excuse me. 592 00:21:27,373 --> 00:21:28,548 Oh, yeah, and by the way, 593 00:21:28,591 --> 00:21:29,375 I lived in your house 594 00:21:29,418 --> 00:21:31,377 while you were on vacation last month. 595 00:21:31,420 --> 00:21:33,030 We didn't go on vacation.Darn it!