1
00:00:32,791 --> 00:00:35,166
Switch off ya phones,
ya bomboclaats.
2
00:00:35,750 --> 00:00:37,083
Listen up!
3
00:00:37,166 --> 00:00:41,458
Everyone in this documentary
about me last year is real,
4
00:00:41,541 --> 00:00:43,333
so have some respect!
5
00:01:40,875 --> 00:01:42,375
Easy now.
6
00:01:43,583 --> 00:01:44,916
Who is I?
7
00:01:46,333 --> 00:01:47,375
Booyakasha!
8
00:01:48,125 --> 00:01:49,166
Hmm...
9
00:01:50,083 --> 00:01:51,250
Let me explain.
10
00:01:51,333 --> 00:01:53,291
Yo, hit it, DJ Jazzy Jeff.
11
00:01:55,041 --> 00:01:59,083
No! No A$AP Rocky. Something old-school.
12
00:02:01,416 --> 00:02:04,541
Back in the day, me used
to have a smash telly show
13
00:02:04,666 --> 00:02:05,750
for the HBO.
14
00:02:05,833 --> 00:02:09,166
Me interviewed politicians, experts...
15
00:02:09,583 --> 00:02:12,750
You think man will ever walk on the sun?
16
00:02:12,833 --> 00:02:14,666
No. The sun is too hot.
17
00:02:14,750 --> 00:02:16,708
What happens if they went in winter
18
00:02:16,791 --> 00:02:18,375
when the sun is cold?
19
00:02:18,458 --> 00:02:20,625
The sun is not cold in the winter.
20
00:02:20,708 --> 00:02:22,148
Me also spoke to the world's
21
00:02:22,250 --> 00:02:24,291
most powerfullest people, innit?
22
00:02:24,375 --> 00:02:27,333
And what was they doing
business in back in the day?
23
00:02:28,250 --> 00:02:30,625
Well, many, many, many years ago,
24
00:02:30,708 --> 00:02:32,250
hundreds of millions of years ago,
25
00:02:32,333 --> 00:02:33,541
people were doing business.
26
00:02:33,625 --> 00:02:35,708
And they were trading in rocks and stones,
27
00:02:35,833 --> 00:02:36,791
and other things.
28
00:02:36,875 --> 00:02:38,375
Who would want to buy rocks?
29
00:02:38,916 --> 00:02:43,125
The show was such a success
that me became a superstar.
30
00:02:43,208 --> 00:02:44,583
Is you Madonna?
31
00:02:44,666 --> 00:02:47,666
All me ever wanted to do
was increase the peace
32
00:02:47,791 --> 00:02:49,166
and spread the love,
33
00:02:49,250 --> 00:02:52,666
just like Martin X
and Malcolm Luther King.
34
00:02:53,458 --> 00:02:56,291
But people, they made up lies about me.
35
00:02:56,375 --> 00:03:00,041
Them said me was a white man
pretending to be Black.
36
00:03:00,125 --> 00:03:02,750
But me ain't never said me was a brother.
37
00:03:02,833 --> 00:03:04,833
-Is it 'cause I is Black?
-Not at all.
38
00:03:04,916 --> 00:03:07,208
-Is it 'cause I is Black?
-You're Black?
39
00:03:07,291 --> 00:03:10,083
Me was even accused
of saying the N-word.
40
00:03:10,166 --> 00:03:12,458
What's going down
in Staines-Town, my?
41
00:03:12,958 --> 00:03:16,333
But me ain't never said that.
Me said, "N beep."
42
00:03:16,833 --> 00:03:19,083
For Season 3 of me HBO show,
43
00:03:19,166 --> 00:03:21,750
me asked for 10 million bucks.
44
00:03:22,666 --> 00:03:25,291
But HBO never got back to me, innit?
45
00:03:26,416 --> 00:03:27,958
Without me on the telly,
46
00:03:28,041 --> 00:03:31,208
pretty soon the world became a shithole.
47
00:03:31,875 --> 00:03:36,166
There was COVID, wars, and Ed Sheeran.
48
00:03:37,875 --> 00:03:40,958
Even worse, me life went down the plopper.
49
00:03:41,041 --> 00:03:45,333
Me had to sell me McMansion
and move back to the hood.
50
00:03:53,166 --> 00:03:55,708
Me moved back into me nan's house.
51
00:03:55,791 --> 00:03:59,666
This be a custom-made marble Jacuzzi.
52
00:03:59,750 --> 00:04:01,875
Diddy's Special Edition.
53
00:04:02,666 --> 00:04:04,250
It used to be up there
54
00:04:04,333 --> 00:04:06,125
until me filled it with water,
55
00:04:06,208 --> 00:04:08,041
then Me Julie got I
56
00:04:08,125 --> 00:04:10,666
and this girl called Cheryl
from the kabob shop.
57
00:04:10,750 --> 00:04:12,000
It's actually how me nan died.
58
00:04:12,083 --> 00:04:15,041
She was sitting here
just like enjoying herself
59
00:04:15,125 --> 00:04:17,125
and then book a.
60
00:04:17,208 --> 00:04:18,458
It squashed her.
61
00:04:18,541 --> 00:04:22,333
She actually had this official
merchandise from the royal family.
62
00:04:22,416 --> 00:04:24,333
It's called the Buckingham Phallus.
63
00:04:26,750 --> 00:04:29,500
Me lost all respect in my community,
64
00:04:29,583 --> 00:04:31,541
and went from being King Charles
65
00:04:31,625 --> 00:04:33,625
to being Prince Andrew.
66
00:04:33,708 --> 00:04:36,208
Me still risked me life daily,
67
00:04:36,291 --> 00:04:38,875
clashing with some
of the local gangs, innit?
68
00:04:38,958 --> 00:04:40,541
♪ Yo, me gonna mash you up ♪
69
00:04:40,625 --> 00:04:41,833
♪ Me gonna take an AK ♪
70
00:04:41,916 --> 00:04:44,500
♪ Me gonna blow bullets
right through your way ♪
71
00:04:44,583 --> 00:04:45,958
♪ Your head full of lead ♪
72
00:04:46,041 --> 00:04:48,583
♪ You're gonna end up
in bed six feet under ♪
73
00:04:48,666 --> 00:04:50,666
♪ That's right
'cause you's gonna be dead ♪♪
74
00:04:50,750 --> 00:04:52,875
♪ All right, dickhead,
are you talking to me? ♪
75
00:04:52,958 --> 00:04:55,041
♪ Now when was you born,
post-war or pre? ♪
76
00:04:55,125 --> 00:04:56,541
♪ Like, mate, you're a weirdo ♪
77
00:04:56,625 --> 00:04:57,787
♪ Coming here and harassing kids ♪
78
00:04:57,791 --> 00:04:58,916
♪ Moving like a pedo ♪♪
79
00:05:01,625 --> 00:05:04,125
Pedo, pedo, pedo.
80
00:05:04,208 --> 00:05:06,791
Virgin, virgin, virgin.
81
00:05:06,875 --> 00:05:08,121
You're virgins.
82
00:05:08,125 --> 00:05:09,125
I ain't a virgin!
83
00:05:10,083 --> 00:05:12,708
With no cash, the only job interview
84
00:05:12,791 --> 00:05:15,291
me could get was at some crap farm.
85
00:05:15,375 --> 00:05:16,583
Respect.
86
00:05:16,666 --> 00:05:17,833
-Sorry?
-Respect.
87
00:05:17,916 --> 00:05:19,291
Yeah. Yeah.
88
00:05:19,375 --> 00:05:20,375
Keeping it real.
89
00:05:20,458 --> 00:05:21,912
♪ Ali with the stripey horse ♪
90
00:05:21,916 --> 00:05:23,156
♪ Ali with the stripey horse ♪
91
00:05:25,125 --> 00:05:26,875
To think me was in a Madonna video
92
00:05:26,958 --> 00:05:29,125
and now me is shoveling animal plop.
93
00:05:29,208 --> 00:05:30,329
♪ Ali with the black-and-white chicken ♪
94
00:05:30,333 --> 00:05:31,454
♪ Ali with the black-and-white chicken ♪ ♪
95
00:05:31,458 --> 00:05:33,291
Yo, me recognize these ones.
96
00:05:33,375 --> 00:05:35,541
Them is from a country
called Madagascar 3, innit?
97
00:05:35,625 --> 00:05:36,708
No.
98
00:05:37,208 --> 00:05:39,666
Unfortunately,
me old ways got me in trouble.
99
00:05:39,750 --> 00:05:42,458
-What is hay?
-Hay is dried grass.
100
00:05:42,541 --> 00:05:44,375
-Them eat grass?
-Dried grass, yeah.
101
00:05:50,000 --> 00:05:51,120
Hang on a minute.
102
00:05:51,125 --> 00:05:52,625
But you said to give them dry grass.
103
00:05:52,708 --> 00:05:54,833
That's that. Not that grass.
104
00:05:54,916 --> 00:05:58,250
You are totally and utterly
unsuitable as a zookeeper.
105
00:05:58,333 --> 00:05:59,333
What?
106
00:05:59,416 --> 00:06:01,708
You haven't got
the faintest idea what you're doing.
107
00:06:01,791 --> 00:06:03,791
-Me?
-You're in a different place.
108
00:06:04,291 --> 00:06:05,291
You're unemployable.
109
00:06:05,833 --> 00:06:07,833
You need to get some professional advice
110
00:06:07,916 --> 00:06:10,416
and try and get your
personality sorted out.
111
00:06:10,500 --> 00:06:12,333
-What?
-I'm not an expert, but you...
112
00:06:12,416 --> 00:06:15,333
I think you need some help
and get yourself straight.
113
00:06:15,416 --> 00:06:19,458
Me had no show,
no job and no respect.
114
00:06:19,541 --> 00:06:21,833
And to make tings even worser,
115
00:06:21,916 --> 00:06:26,375
Me Julie, who me had only
been boning for 46 years,
116
00:06:26,458 --> 00:06:30,083
started making completely
unreasonable demands, innit?
117
00:06:30,166 --> 00:06:33,125
I want us to get married
and, like, start a family.
118
00:06:33,208 --> 00:06:34,875
-Married?
-Yeah.
119
00:06:34,958 --> 00:06:36,583
Ding, ding, ding. Gold digger alert.
120
00:06:36,666 --> 00:06:39,166
You ain't got no money.
I ain't no gold digger.
121
00:06:39,250 --> 00:06:40,791
We's gonna have the cash
122
00:06:40,875 --> 00:06:43,708
the moment the HBO agree
to me final demands.
123
00:06:43,791 --> 00:06:45,500
Alistair, are you delulu?
124
00:06:45,583 --> 00:06:48,375
We ain't heard from HBO for 20 years.
125
00:06:48,458 --> 00:06:49,750
It ain't happening.
126
00:06:50,333 --> 00:06:51,625
I know how I'm gonna get money.
127
00:06:51,708 --> 00:06:53,125
-How?
-I'm gonna live my dream.
128
00:06:53,208 --> 00:06:54,291
What's that?
129
00:06:54,375 --> 00:06:57,791
I'm gonna get people
to toss off to my feet on OnlyFans.
130
00:06:57,875 --> 00:07:01,125
Yo, yo, yo. OnlyFans
is well disrespectful less to women.
131
00:07:01,208 --> 00:07:02,791
I ain't gonna let me bitch be on that.
132
00:07:02,875 --> 00:07:04,541
And to make matters worse,
133
00:07:04,625 --> 00:07:07,583
me noticed Me Julie
had a stomach infection.
134
00:07:08,458 --> 00:07:12,083
So, um, we're meeting for the first time.
135
00:07:12,166 --> 00:07:14,625
So, is it okay if I ask you
a few questions
136
00:07:14,708 --> 00:07:17,028
just to get to where you are
and that kind of things? So...
137
00:07:17,041 --> 00:07:18,291
Is you a doctor?
138
00:07:18,375 --> 00:07:19,583
I am a doctor, yeah.
139
00:07:19,666 --> 00:07:22,541
All right, so she thinks she's preggers.
140
00:07:22,625 --> 00:07:24,083
Could you please just tell her that
141
00:07:24,166 --> 00:07:26,166
it's probably wind or a big poo?
142
00:07:27,333 --> 00:07:29,208
Sorry, let me get this right.
143
00:07:29,291 --> 00:07:31,041
You don't think she's pregnant?
144
00:07:31,125 --> 00:07:34,291
I've got
a piss stick. Look, it's positive.
145
00:07:34,375 --> 00:07:35,708
Yo, yo, she got a vape.
146
00:07:39,083 --> 00:07:40,541
Tastes of piss.
147
00:07:41,166 --> 00:07:42,625
Is there any way of delaying
148
00:07:42,708 --> 00:07:44,083
-the pregnancy?
-No.
149
00:07:44,166 --> 00:07:46,666
This baby is gonna come out
when it's gonna come out,
150
00:07:46,750 --> 00:07:48,291
and it's likely to be within weeks.
151
00:07:48,375 --> 00:07:50,208
Me was well freaked out.
152
00:07:50,291 --> 00:07:53,083
Plus, babies cost 'nough cash.
153
00:07:53,166 --> 00:07:55,125
So me decided that it was time to sell
154
00:07:55,208 --> 00:07:57,541
some of me priceless bling, innit?
155
00:07:58,666 --> 00:08:01,250
That's worth £18,000,
156
00:08:01,333 --> 00:08:04,791
we'll give it to you for 17,000.
157
00:08:04,875 --> 00:08:06,833
That's 100% karats.
158
00:08:06,916 --> 00:08:08,041
It's iron.
159
00:08:08,750 --> 00:08:10,162
What? You can have it for 90,000.
160
00:08:10,166 --> 00:08:12,083
No, no, no. £1.
161
00:08:12,750 --> 00:08:13,791
-Deal.
-Okay.
162
00:08:13,875 --> 00:08:14,875
All right.
163
00:08:16,083 --> 00:08:18,250
This is part of the actual Crown Jewels.
164
00:08:18,333 --> 00:08:20,708
It belongs to Her Vajesty, the Queen.
165
00:08:22,666 --> 00:08:24,125
£100,000.
166
00:08:24,958 --> 00:08:26,166
£1.
167
00:08:26,250 --> 00:08:27,458
-Deal.
-Okay.
168
00:08:29,083 --> 00:08:30,125
This vase.
169
00:08:30,958 --> 00:08:33,708
-Any ashes inside?
-Yeah, for real. Me nan's.
170
00:08:33,791 --> 00:08:35,708
Your nan? Shit.
171
00:08:35,791 --> 00:08:37,541
-How much does you want?
-£1.
172
00:08:37,625 --> 00:08:39,416
-£1 for the ashes?
-For the bottle.
173
00:08:39,500 --> 00:08:40,958
Deal. Potato.
174
00:08:41,833 --> 00:08:43,083
Nan, you is moving house.
175
00:08:45,500 --> 00:08:47,208
Shit.
176
00:08:48,208 --> 00:08:50,333
Nan, sorry. Sorry, Nan.
177
00:08:51,458 --> 00:08:53,500
This one is a fax machine.
178
00:08:56,375 --> 00:08:58,291
Mm-hmm.
179
00:09:02,500 --> 00:09:04,000
Can you read that?
180
00:09:05,125 --> 00:09:07,208
It's from HBO.
181
00:09:07,750 --> 00:09:10,916
"Dear Ali, thank you for
your last and final demand
182
00:09:11,000 --> 00:09:14,583
for your fee for Series 3."
183
00:09:14,666 --> 00:09:15,791
"We are prepared
184
00:09:15,875 --> 00:09:17,500
-"to improve our offer..."
-What?
185
00:09:17,583 --> 00:09:18,750
"To 3.2 million."
186
00:09:18,833 --> 00:09:19,833
What?
187
00:09:19,916 --> 00:09:22,708
"To ensure the success
of the upcoming season,
188
00:09:22,791 --> 00:09:25,791
we are open to an increase
in the marketing budget..."
189
00:09:25,875 --> 00:09:27,083
Yo, wicked!
190
00:09:27,166 --> 00:09:28,958
"A larger production team,
191
00:09:29,041 --> 00:09:31,583
and discussing any creative ideas
192
00:09:31,666 --> 00:09:33,208
or adjustments you might have."
193
00:09:33,291 --> 00:09:36,291
Wicked! 3.2 mil?
194
00:09:36,375 --> 00:09:39,291
Congratulations, mate.
195
00:09:39,375 --> 00:09:41,250
-3.2 million bucks?
-Yes!
196
00:09:41,333 --> 00:09:42,541
Give it to me. 3.2.
197
00:09:42,625 --> 00:09:44,375
3.2!
198
00:09:44,458 --> 00:09:46,041
Me's gonna let me fans know.
199
00:09:46,125 --> 00:09:50,666
Yo, yo, yo, this be Ali G
and check it out.
200
00:09:50,750 --> 00:09:53,708
I is got Season 3 of me show.
201
00:09:53,791 --> 00:09:54,875
Whoo!
202
00:09:54,958 --> 00:09:56,329
I is back, bigger than ever.
203
00:09:56,333 --> 00:09:58,500
Ain't no one in the world
can stop me now, innit?
204
00:10:07,208 --> 00:10:08,662
Professor,
you're gaslighting me.
205
00:10:08,666 --> 00:10:11,375
No, I am not gaslighting you.
206
00:10:11,458 --> 00:10:14,458
Merely decentering your narrative.
207
00:10:14,541 --> 00:10:17,750
Yo, yo, yo, this be Ali G
and check it out.
208
00:10:17,833 --> 00:10:20,333
-Oh, sweet mother of Ruffalo.
-I is got Season 3 of me show.
209
00:10:20,416 --> 00:10:21,750
This conversation is over.
210
00:10:21,833 --> 00:10:24,000
With 'nough money.
That's right, honeys.
211
00:10:24,083 --> 00:10:25,708
-I is a billionaire.
-He's back.
212
00:10:25,791 --> 00:10:30,500
So if you want to go on the G,
I is coming to the USA.
213
00:10:30,583 --> 00:10:31,750
He's back.
214
00:10:40,416 --> 00:10:43,458
-Good afternoon, everybody.
-Good afternoon.
215
00:10:43,541 --> 00:10:46,833
I can see it on your faces,
you're concerned about your community,
216
00:10:46,916 --> 00:10:48,125
right?
217
00:10:48,208 --> 00:10:49,625
What would you change? Anybody.
218
00:10:49,708 --> 00:10:51,208
Gun violence.
219
00:10:51,291 --> 00:10:53,121
They should have affordable
housing for the people.
220
00:10:53,125 --> 00:10:56,166
Every night, police kill
Black people on camera.
221
00:10:56,250 --> 00:10:58,750
May I... May I say something?
222
00:10:59,250 --> 00:11:02,000
Can I... May I take over the mic?
223
00:11:04,916 --> 00:11:08,500
Uh, namaste, I am Dr. Nira
Cain-N'Degeocello.
224
00:11:08,583 --> 00:11:11,708
I identify as a white cisgender male,
225
00:11:11,791 --> 00:11:12,833
for which I am ashamed.
226
00:11:14,291 --> 00:11:16,208
I'm sure most of you have heard of me
227
00:11:16,291 --> 00:11:18,916
from my book I Have a Better Dream.
228
00:11:20,791 --> 00:11:23,541
It's available outside or you can Venmo me
229
00:11:23,625 --> 00:11:25,666
at BlackVoices@gmail.com.
230
00:11:25,750 --> 00:11:29,666
I'm here to alert you
to an existential danger.
231
00:11:29,750 --> 00:11:34,208
He is an English cis white male
232
00:11:34,291 --> 00:11:36,625
by the name of Ali G.
233
00:11:38,666 --> 00:11:42,666
He is coming to this country
to spread his hatred.
234
00:11:42,750 --> 00:11:44,125
He has to be stopped.
235
00:11:44,208 --> 00:11:45,375
Why?
236
00:11:45,458 --> 00:11:47,666
Because he is a cultural appropriator!
237
00:11:47,750 --> 00:11:49,500
Some of the words he says are...
238
00:11:49,583 --> 00:11:51,791
And feel free to cover your eyes.
239
00:11:51,875 --> 00:11:55,333
He has... He uses the word "bomboclaat."
240
00:11:55,416 --> 00:11:56,833
Excuse me?
241
00:11:56,916 --> 00:11:59,958
"Rasclaat," "pussyclaat."
In fact all the "-claats."
242
00:12:01,166 --> 00:12:02,541
"Punani."
243
00:12:02,625 --> 00:12:04,125
-Punani.
-Punani. Punani.
244
00:12:04,208 --> 00:12:06,166
It's pronounced "puh-nanny."
245
00:12:06,250 --> 00:12:08,500
-It's "poo-nanny."
-No. Eh, sorry.
246
00:12:08,583 --> 00:12:10,416
Sorry, it is "puh-nanny."
247
00:12:10,500 --> 00:12:12,000
"Poo-nanny."
248
00:12:12,083 --> 00:12:14,458
Madam, he has stolen your words.
249
00:12:14,541 --> 00:12:17,750
He has taken your punani
and put it in his mouth.
250
00:12:20,125 --> 00:12:22,708
He performs, uh, RAP,
251
00:12:22,791 --> 00:12:24,833
which as we all know is an acronym
252
00:12:24,916 --> 00:12:26,791
for "Radical African Poetry."
253
00:12:26,875 --> 00:12:28,708
-What?
-But that ain't it.
254
00:12:28,791 --> 00:12:30,083
-Yes, it is.
-No.
255
00:12:30,166 --> 00:12:32,333
Not to bang my own djembe, but I...
256
00:12:32,416 --> 00:12:35,625
Well, I... I lecture in
257
00:12:35,708 --> 00:12:39,041
Afro-Diasporic Ethnomusicology,
258
00:12:39,125 --> 00:12:40,541
so I beg to differ.
259
00:12:40,625 --> 00:12:42,287
You're aware of the word "trigger," right?
260
00:12:42,291 --> 00:12:43,708
Because you for sure trigger me
261
00:12:43,791 --> 00:12:46,291
every time you say "appropriation,"
262
00:12:46,375 --> 00:12:49,166
because you are a blazing,
walking, living,
263
00:12:49,250 --> 00:12:52,041
three-dimensional example of that shit,
264
00:12:52,125 --> 00:12:54,287
and you keep putting it
in our face on a consistent basis.
265
00:12:54,291 --> 00:12:55,958
Well, thank you, Dr. Ben Carson,
266
00:12:56,041 --> 00:12:57,412
for your opinion.
267
00:12:57,416 --> 00:12:59,125
I think everyone would like you to leave.
268
00:12:59,208 --> 00:13:02,208
If you want him to leave,
please join with me.
269
00:13:04,166 --> 00:13:06,666
I would like everyone to join me
270
00:13:06,750 --> 00:13:08,250
and march out of here
271
00:13:08,333 --> 00:13:12,166
and shut this modern-day Hitler down.
272
00:13:12,250 --> 00:13:13,875
I don't care!
273
00:13:13,958 --> 00:13:15,708
Will you join with me?
274
00:13:15,791 --> 00:13:17,291
No, man. Ain't nobody going with you!
275
00:13:28,500 --> 00:13:29,746
♪ Ali in the USA ♪
276
00:13:29,750 --> 00:13:30,833
♪ Ali in the USA ♪
277
00:13:31,333 --> 00:13:33,666
♪ Ali in the USA,
Ali in the USA ♪
278
00:13:33,750 --> 00:13:35,875
So, we're gonna
meet your new agent.
279
00:13:35,958 --> 00:13:37,083
Maybe that's him.
280
00:13:38,125 --> 00:13:40,083
-How are ya?
-♪ Booka! ♪♪
281
00:13:41,083 --> 00:13:42,746
-I'm Gar. How are you?
-Introduce yourself.
282
00:13:42,750 --> 00:13:44,333
-That's it.
-Yo, we is together, man.
283
00:13:44,416 --> 00:13:46,458
For the next 50 years,
whatever. Fuck yeah.
284
00:13:46,541 --> 00:13:47,871
-You look great.
-Hell yeah. Yo, bring it in.
285
00:13:47,875 --> 00:13:48,875
-Bring it in.
-That's it.
286
00:13:48,958 --> 00:13:50,166
♪ Me do the HBO ♪
287
00:13:50,250 --> 00:13:51,625
♪ Me do the HBO, bo! ♪♪
288
00:13:55,375 --> 00:13:56,541
We're going to get voicemail.
289
00:13:56,625 --> 00:13:57,829
You've reached the office
290
00:13:57,833 --> 00:13:59,000
-of Casey Bloys.
-Yo.
291
00:13:59,083 --> 00:14:00,412
Neither him nor his assistant, Chris,
292
00:14:00,416 --> 00:14:02,000
are able to get to the phone right now.
293
00:14:02,083 --> 00:14:04,003
Please leave a message
and we'll get back to you.
294
00:14:06,125 --> 00:14:07,500
Hey, Casey, this is Gar Lester.
295
00:14:07,583 --> 00:14:10,291
Uh, could you please give us a call?
296
00:14:10,375 --> 00:14:11,458
Thank you very much.
297
00:14:12,708 --> 00:14:14,833
Okay, I think we're good.
298
00:14:16,458 --> 00:14:18,738
Me Julie, while I is
in there meeting me new team,
299
00:14:18,750 --> 00:14:19,791
why don't you go shopping?
300
00:14:19,875 --> 00:14:22,083
You know, we is rich,
buy yourself something nice.
301
00:14:22,166 --> 00:14:23,621
You ready? Come this way with me.
302
00:14:24,750 --> 00:14:28,750
Yo, yo, yo. Yo, respect. Yo.
303
00:14:28,833 --> 00:14:29,833
Yo, is this the team?
304
00:14:29,916 --> 00:14:31,708
This is the team.
You can tell he's security.
305
00:14:31,791 --> 00:14:33,329
-Yo, security, yo.
-Yes, security.
306
00:14:33,333 --> 00:14:34,583
-Stylist.
-What's up?
307
00:14:34,666 --> 00:14:35,791
-Producer.
-Yo.
308
00:14:35,875 --> 00:14:37,208
-And the PA.
-Yo.
309
00:14:37,291 --> 00:14:38,916
-Fitness.
-Yo, trainer!
310
00:14:39,000 --> 00:14:40,666
-Financial.
-He's my crypto king.
311
00:14:40,750 --> 00:14:41,996
I'm going to get your money right.
312
00:14:42,000 --> 00:14:43,250
-Oh, yeah.
-Yeah, for real.
313
00:14:43,333 --> 00:14:46,625
You are going to be huge.
You're going to be mammoth.
314
00:14:46,708 --> 00:14:48,875
And all of this team
is going to make it happen.
315
00:14:49,541 --> 00:14:50,958
There's nothing we can't do.
316
00:14:51,041 --> 00:14:53,083
If you want to do it, we will get it done.
317
00:14:53,166 --> 00:14:54,833
Me's got some ideas for the show.
318
00:14:54,916 --> 00:14:58,083
Like Episode 1, me is thinking of, like,
319
00:14:58,166 --> 00:15:00,833
'cause there is
so much problems with the environment.
320
00:15:00,916 --> 00:15:02,958
-Yeah.
-Maybe fix it.
321
00:15:04,583 --> 00:15:06,333
Everyone's saying, "It's impossible."
322
00:15:06,416 --> 00:15:08,291
"We can't do it. We can't do this."
323
00:15:08,375 --> 00:15:10,208
We do it. We fix it.
324
00:15:10,291 --> 00:15:11,708
-One episode. Bang.
-Done.
325
00:15:12,291 --> 00:15:16,083
If you come out with that, that's huge.
326
00:15:16,166 --> 00:15:19,125
What you just described, I've not seen.
327
00:15:20,875 --> 00:15:22,250
-Yo, my man here.
-Brother.
328
00:15:22,333 --> 00:15:24,250
How committed is you to doing the job?
329
00:15:25,041 --> 00:15:26,916
I will protect you with my life, sir.
330
00:15:27,333 --> 00:15:29,416
Has you ever died for a client?
331
00:15:29,500 --> 00:15:31,541
No, I've never died for a client. Not yet.
332
00:15:31,625 --> 00:15:34,208
Yo, for real. You ever strangled
a man with your bare hands?
333
00:15:34,291 --> 00:15:35,666
-Yes.
-Got to be done.
334
00:15:35,750 --> 00:15:36,833
-Yeah.
-Yeah.
335
00:15:36,916 --> 00:15:38,041
Strangled him till death?
336
00:15:38,125 --> 00:15:39,125
Not till death.
337
00:15:39,208 --> 00:15:40,787
-I just choked him out. Yeah.
-Yeah, but just like...
338
00:15:40,791 --> 00:15:42,000
Yeah. So, yeah.
339
00:15:42,083 --> 00:15:43,416
-Choked him out.
-Yeah.
340
00:15:43,500 --> 00:15:45,416
Choked him out. Choked him out.
341
00:15:45,500 --> 00:15:46,708
Choked him out. Yeah.
342
00:15:46,791 --> 00:15:47,791
A lot of choking out.
343
00:15:47,875 --> 00:15:49,675
-There's a lot of different choke-outs.
-Yeah.
344
00:15:50,000 --> 00:15:52,041
We will protect this brand with our lives.
345
00:15:54,166 --> 00:15:57,333
Let's take this to the top. Here we go.
346
00:15:59,250 --> 00:16:00,666
-Oh, my.
-Yo!
347
00:16:00,750 --> 00:16:02,125
Good Lord.
348
00:16:03,000 --> 00:16:04,329
Fill them up. Fill them up.
349
00:16:05,750 --> 00:16:07,458
♪ Ali got a zillion ♪
350
00:16:08,250 --> 00:16:09,500
♪ Yo, Elon ain't rich ♪
351
00:16:09,583 --> 00:16:10,708
♪ No, he ain't ♪
352
00:16:10,791 --> 00:16:12,371
♪ He ain't never done a money spread, bo ♪
353
00:16:12,375 --> 00:16:13,541
Bring more.
354
00:16:13,625 --> 00:16:15,105
♪ He don't even own a diamond chain ♪
355
00:16:15,166 --> 00:16:16,208
♪ No, he don't ♪
356
00:16:16,291 --> 00:16:17,416
♪ Look at my riches ♪
357
00:16:17,500 --> 00:16:18,791
Bring more of everything.
358
00:16:18,875 --> 00:16:20,755
-♪ Where is his bitches? ♪
-We love you!
359
00:16:21,416 --> 00:16:22,750
♪ Drink up the Cristal ♪
360
00:16:23,875 --> 00:16:26,208
♪ Pull out your pistol, bukka, bukka ♪
361
00:16:26,291 --> 00:16:27,791
♪ I is richer than Elon ♪
362
00:16:27,875 --> 00:16:30,416
♪ Booyakasha, booyakasha
I is richer than Elon ♪♪
363
00:16:31,125 --> 00:16:32,208
Bill for you, sir.
364
00:16:32,291 --> 00:16:34,916
$12,423?
365
00:16:35,000 --> 00:16:37,208
-Fuck! Seriously?
-No worries. Easy.
366
00:16:37,291 --> 00:16:38,958
Thank you, HBO.
367
00:16:39,041 --> 00:16:40,875
We gonna be eating like this every night.
368
00:16:40,958 --> 00:16:42,038
Yeah, I would say,
369
00:16:42,083 --> 00:16:43,287
like, once a month.
370
00:16:43,291 --> 00:16:44,662
So hardcore
like this all the time?
371
00:16:44,666 --> 00:16:45,579
I mean... yeah.
372
00:16:45,583 --> 00:16:47,121
I think for what
we had that was value.
373
00:16:47,125 --> 00:16:48,875
I don't know how to do this. Hello?
374
00:16:49,416 --> 00:16:50,458
Who is it?
375
00:16:50,541 --> 00:16:52,208
Hi, Chris. HBO.
376
00:16:52,291 --> 00:16:53,958
Yo, it's HBO!
377
00:16:56,125 --> 00:16:57,500
I want to say thanks.
378
00:16:57,583 --> 00:16:58,791
Let's celebrate.
379
00:16:58,875 --> 00:17:00,708
Yo, yo, put me on to Casey Boys.
380
00:17:00,791 --> 00:17:02,750
We want to say we had the best meal.
381
00:17:02,833 --> 00:17:05,916
Thank you for the money, the cash money.
382
00:17:06,000 --> 00:17:07,208
We're gonna spend it wisely.
383
00:17:07,291 --> 00:17:09,208
We're spending it wisely now. Right?
384
00:17:09,291 --> 00:17:10,871
Um,
you know, there is no show.
385
00:17:10,875 --> 00:17:12,666
That offer is null and void.
386
00:17:12,750 --> 00:17:14,750
That expired 22 years ago.
387
00:17:15,958 --> 00:17:17,791
-What?
-It's 22 years old.
388
00:17:17,875 --> 00:17:19,416
That offer was made in 2004.
389
00:17:19,500 --> 00:17:20,666
What? What day is it?
390
00:17:20,750 --> 00:17:21,791
He's 100% correct.
391
00:17:21,875 --> 00:17:24,162
-Let's thank him for his time.
-We wish you the best.
392
00:17:24,166 --> 00:17:26,000
You made an offer.
393
00:17:26,083 --> 00:17:27,412
You got to stop 'cause
you're not making it better.
394
00:17:27,416 --> 00:17:28,996
-You're making it worse.
-Yeah, we'll surprise them.
395
00:17:29,000 --> 00:17:30,708
I've got my security.
396
00:17:30,791 --> 00:17:32,541
Him has strangled people before.
397
00:17:32,625 --> 00:17:33,871
-No.
-You don't want to...
398
00:17:33,875 --> 00:17:37,208
No, I ain't threatening you.
I ain't threatening you.
399
00:17:37,291 --> 00:17:40,875
I'm just saying, him has choked
people out five different ways.
400
00:17:40,958 --> 00:17:42,875
Him has been around bullets.
401
00:17:42,958 --> 00:17:44,625
Can you at least pay for dinner?
402
00:17:44,708 --> 00:17:47,375
-It's just 12,400.
-We can't do that.
403
00:17:47,458 --> 00:17:49,166
No. No, we're not paying for anything.
404
00:17:49,250 --> 00:17:51,090
-Holy fuck.
-Let's leave it be.
405
00:17:53,083 --> 00:17:55,708
So, who had the lobster?
406
00:17:56,500 --> 00:17:58,000
It doesn't work that way.
407
00:17:58,083 --> 00:17:59,496
-Let me go to the toilet.
-Take the phone.
408
00:17:59,500 --> 00:18:00,954
-Don't you call him.
-It's all right. It's all right.
409
00:18:00,958 --> 00:18:02,162
-I ain't calling him.
-All right, you go with him.
410
00:18:02,166 --> 00:18:03,166
You got to pay the bill.
411
00:18:03,250 --> 00:18:04,583
I just got to go to the toilet.
412
00:18:06,250 --> 00:18:07,250
Hey!
413
00:18:07,333 --> 00:18:08,708
♪ Booyah! ♪
414
00:18:10,166 --> 00:18:13,041
♪ Ali the runner,
Ali the runner ♪
415
00:18:13,125 --> 00:18:16,291
♪ Me ain't got the cash
Me got to do a runner ♪
416
00:18:16,375 --> 00:18:18,666
♪ Ali the runner,
Ali the runner ♪♪
417
00:18:18,750 --> 00:18:21,000
-Me Julie, where is you?
-How did it go?
418
00:18:21,083 --> 00:18:23,833
Yeah, it went amazing.
Yeah, them paid for it all.
419
00:18:23,916 --> 00:18:25,208
Come meet me.
420
00:18:25,291 --> 00:18:26,537
Yeah, well, send me the address.
421
00:18:26,541 --> 00:18:27,666
-Sending now.
-Yeah.
422
00:18:27,750 --> 00:18:28,870
I've got a surprise for you.
423
00:18:28,916 --> 00:18:30,396
-Yeah. Of course.
-I hope you like it.
424
00:18:30,416 --> 00:18:32,833
Me'll be happy whatever
you bought. See you soon.
425
00:18:52,500 --> 00:18:53,579
♪ I's gonna tell her the truth ♪
426
00:18:53,583 --> 00:18:55,291
♪ Julie, we broke
Messed up the dough ♪
427
00:18:55,375 --> 00:18:57,041
♪ We never had the deal with HBO ♪
428
00:18:57,125 --> 00:18:58,787
♪ Give back the handbag
Give back the chains ♪
429
00:18:58,791 --> 00:19:00,496
♪ We gotta get a plane
Back home to Staines ♪♪
430
00:19:00,500 --> 00:19:02,375
-It's him. He's here.
-Okay. Okay.
431
00:19:02,833 --> 00:19:04,750
Take care of yourself,
Domingo. Appreciate it.
432
00:19:04,833 --> 00:19:06,041
Babe!
433
00:19:06,833 --> 00:19:09,541
-Whose house is this?
-Who do you think? Ours!
434
00:19:10,375 --> 00:19:11,416
Oh...
435
00:19:14,250 --> 00:19:16,041
-How much is it?
-30 mil.
436
00:19:18,291 --> 00:19:20,458
-Hello? How are you?
-I basically told the guy...
437
00:19:20,541 --> 00:19:21,861
-Who is this?
-That's the realtor.
438
00:19:21,875 --> 00:19:23,250
I'm the realtor showing the house.
439
00:19:23,333 --> 00:19:24,791
-The what?
-The realtor
440
00:19:24,875 --> 00:19:26,121
-to show the house.
-What's that?
441
00:19:26,125 --> 00:19:29,250
Uh, like the real estate agent to sell
the house. Just to show you around.
442
00:19:29,333 --> 00:19:30,458
Yeah, for real.
443
00:19:30,541 --> 00:19:32,958
It's 19,000 square feet
444
00:19:33,041 --> 00:19:35,291
and there are 9 bedrooms and 14 bathrooms.
445
00:19:35,375 --> 00:19:39,083
I think maybe
forget this one and let's head out.
446
00:19:39,166 --> 00:19:40,458
Stop being neggie. Come on.
447
00:19:40,541 --> 00:19:44,250
This table is crap. It ain't even level.
448
00:19:44,958 --> 00:19:47,208
It's the top of the piano.
449
00:19:47,291 --> 00:19:49,041
-It's for the acoustics.
-Oh.
450
00:19:49,791 --> 00:19:51,291
This room is crap.
451
00:19:51,791 --> 00:19:53,041
It's the patio. It's the...
452
00:19:53,125 --> 00:19:54,458
There's no ceiling on it.
453
00:19:54,541 --> 00:19:56,166
Right. It's the outdoor area.
454
00:19:56,250 --> 00:19:59,375
What happens if a bird
flies into this room?
455
00:20:00,083 --> 00:20:01,625
Well, that is a risk.
456
00:20:02,583 --> 00:20:04,583
Another one of these shit tables.
457
00:20:04,666 --> 00:20:06,287
It's the same one,
and it'll be gone,
458
00:20:06,291 --> 00:20:07,829
-I promise you.
-What? It's the same one?
459
00:20:07,833 --> 00:20:09,162
It's the same one.
And we'll get rid of it for you.
460
00:20:09,166 --> 00:20:11,086
How come it's
in a different place? Who moved it?
461
00:20:11,500 --> 00:20:13,660
No. We just came in
from a different side of the house.
462
00:20:13,708 --> 00:20:15,791
We can afford the best, you know,
463
00:20:15,875 --> 00:20:19,291
'cause we are rich,
rich, rich, rich, rich, rich, rich!
464
00:20:19,375 --> 00:20:21,041
All right, listen, can we have a word?
465
00:20:21,125 --> 00:20:22,416
Me? Okay.
466
00:20:22,500 --> 00:20:23,708
-Can you tell her...
-Yes.
467
00:20:23,791 --> 00:20:25,121
That me didn't get the HBO show?
468
00:20:25,125 --> 00:20:26,250
Didn't get the HBO show.
469
00:20:26,333 --> 00:20:27,916
And that the offer
470
00:20:28,000 --> 00:20:31,791
was actually from 2004.
471
00:20:31,875 --> 00:20:33,791
I think it's expired.
The offer's expired. Okay.
472
00:20:33,875 --> 00:20:36,166
Yeah. So we're gonna get no money.
473
00:20:39,500 --> 00:20:42,208
All right.
So he wanted me to tell you something.
474
00:20:42,291 --> 00:20:43,375
Yeah?
475
00:20:43,458 --> 00:20:45,958
He wanted me to let you know that
476
00:20:46,041 --> 00:20:48,041
he did not get the HBO show.
477
00:20:49,541 --> 00:20:50,708
What?
478
00:20:50,791 --> 00:20:53,250
Okay, would you like me
to tell him something or...
479
00:20:53,333 --> 00:20:55,625
-Yeah. Yeah.
-Okay, I'm listening.
480
00:20:58,416 --> 00:21:00,291
So... She wanted me to tell you
481
00:21:00,375 --> 00:21:02,041
to suck a bag of dicks.
482
00:21:03,541 --> 00:21:05,291
-What else did she say?
-That's it.
483
00:21:08,208 --> 00:21:10,875
He said, "We is broke."
484
00:21:11,500 --> 00:21:13,166
Right. Tell him he's a moron.
485
00:21:13,250 --> 00:21:15,833
"And he still can't get hard and bone me
486
00:21:15,916 --> 00:21:17,291
ever since I became pregnant."
487
00:21:17,375 --> 00:21:18,625
She's hung up on that.
488
00:21:18,708 --> 00:21:22,291
Tell her that the moment
you mentioned her name,
489
00:21:22,375 --> 00:21:24,625
me started getting hard
490
00:21:24,708 --> 00:21:28,083
and me dong really stood up to attention,
491
00:21:28,166 --> 00:21:30,583
until it was like really throbbing
492
00:21:30,666 --> 00:21:32,708
and shaking at the top,
493
00:21:32,791 --> 00:21:34,666
like about to jizz.
494
00:21:34,750 --> 00:21:37,666
-And if... if him was a gay lord...
-Okay.
495
00:21:37,750 --> 00:21:39,291
It would have jizzed,
496
00:21:39,375 --> 00:21:41,291
but it didn't, 'cause him ain't.
497
00:21:41,916 --> 00:21:46,541
That when I mentioned
your name, he got hard,
498
00:21:47,291 --> 00:21:48,708
and he said something about...
499
00:21:48,791 --> 00:21:49,791
Bollocks.
500
00:21:49,875 --> 00:21:52,208
It was throbbing
and if it was a gay lord,
501
00:21:52,291 --> 00:21:53,833
he would have jizzed.
502
00:21:54,458 --> 00:21:57,833
Tell him, yeah,
that I'm not going out with him anymore.
503
00:21:57,916 --> 00:21:59,666
-I'm going out with you.
-No, no, no.
504
00:21:59,750 --> 00:22:01,670
-Sorry. That's...
-Yeah, that's what we're doing.
505
00:22:04,625 --> 00:22:05,666
Oh.
506
00:22:05,750 --> 00:22:07,500
-It's fine. It's fine.
-You sure?
507
00:22:07,583 --> 00:22:09,291
It's fine, it's fine. Come here. Come on.
508
00:22:11,416 --> 00:22:13,000
I'll just... I'll stand over here.
509
00:22:13,083 --> 00:22:14,333
Do... Do we want to,
510
00:22:14,416 --> 00:22:15,704
you know, go back downstairs, maybe?
511
00:22:15,708 --> 00:22:17,500
No, no, no. No. Let's resolve this.
512
00:22:17,583 --> 00:22:20,083
Tell her me would love to bone her now.
513
00:22:21,500 --> 00:22:22,500
All right.
514
00:22:22,583 --> 00:22:23,708
Thank you, by the way, bruv.
515
00:22:23,791 --> 00:22:25,583
-Brother! Hey. Hey.
-Thank you.
516
00:22:26,625 --> 00:22:29,083
Is there any way
we could stay here while we is in America?
517
00:22:29,791 --> 00:22:31,958
Sorry. No. I think I should,
you know, step outside.
518
00:22:32,041 --> 00:22:33,625
Talk about it, think about it.
519
00:22:35,916 --> 00:22:37,458
Come on, babe, let's go home.
520
00:22:37,916 --> 00:22:39,291
Well, but what about me dream?
521
00:22:39,375 --> 00:22:41,541
Well, maybe it's time
for a new dream, you know,
522
00:22:41,625 --> 00:22:43,666
like where you're
a good father to the baby.
523
00:22:43,750 --> 00:22:46,208
-No, no, no, but...
-No more buts, Alistair!
524
00:22:46,291 --> 00:22:48,958
Right, this child
needs a stable environment
525
00:22:49,041 --> 00:22:50,291
in which to grow up inside.
526
00:22:50,375 --> 00:22:52,666
-Don't be mental.
-What?
527
00:22:52,750 --> 00:22:55,375
All the experts are saying it. Look.
528
00:22:57,125 --> 00:22:58,445
Well, what does she know?
529
00:22:58,458 --> 00:22:59,954
What does she know?
530
00:22:59,958 --> 00:23:02,708
She's only made millions
giving baby advice on TikTok.
531
00:23:03,333 --> 00:23:05,958
Jah Rastafarai! Well, that's it, then.
532
00:23:06,041 --> 00:23:08,000
We'll make me show on the TikTok, innit?
533
00:23:08,083 --> 00:23:10,333
How are you going to pay
for making it all?
534
00:23:11,541 --> 00:23:12,833
We'll get a sponsor.
535
00:23:14,791 --> 00:23:17,333
Me Julie arranged
a meeting with a sponsor,
536
00:23:17,416 --> 00:23:20,583
and then made sure
me was dressed appropriately.
537
00:23:20,666 --> 00:23:21,666
♪ Me meet da sponsor ♪
538
00:23:21,750 --> 00:23:22,958
♪ Me meet da sponsor ♪♪
539
00:23:25,416 --> 00:23:27,458
-Hi. Very nice to meet you.
-Very nice to meet you.
540
00:23:27,541 --> 00:23:29,583
-Yo.
-Can I shake your hand?
541
00:23:31,541 --> 00:23:32,750
Big up yourself.
542
00:23:34,916 --> 00:23:35,916
Sorry.
543
00:23:36,000 --> 00:23:40,541
What sort of...
What sort of things does your product fix?
544
00:23:41,291 --> 00:23:44,958
Well, I have
a variety of products. Like this is, uh...
545
00:23:45,916 --> 00:23:48,625
Synergy One is a peptide,
546
00:23:48,708 --> 00:23:51,666
so when a person reaches a certain age,
547
00:23:51,750 --> 00:23:54,750
their body's production
of hormones declines.
548
00:23:54,833 --> 00:23:58,125
And it's gotten so low
that their quality of life suffers.
549
00:23:58,208 --> 00:24:00,458
A protein reverses that.
550
00:24:00,541 --> 00:24:02,125
Let's cut to the chase.
551
00:24:02,208 --> 00:24:05,875
How much can you give me
if me mention your products?
552
00:24:07,000 --> 00:24:08,291
Um, I'd probably...
553
00:24:08,375 --> 00:24:11,037
I would have to probably do it
on commission base in terms of sales,
554
00:24:11,041 --> 00:24:14,416
and agree to, like, a percentage
of the month, the profits.
555
00:24:14,500 --> 00:24:18,958
What about if 60% goes to you
and 110% goes to me?
556
00:24:20,000 --> 00:24:21,204
That's the best you're gonna get.
557
00:24:21,208 --> 00:24:22,333
Don't let me walk out.
558
00:24:22,416 --> 00:24:24,416
We reached an agreement.
559
00:24:24,500 --> 00:24:26,791
This weren't the first time
me was gonna earn cash money
560
00:24:26,875 --> 00:24:29,083
by dealing drugs, a'ight.
561
00:24:31,083 --> 00:24:32,833
Now, me had sponsorship,
562
00:24:32,916 --> 00:24:34,875
it was time for me to try out
563
00:24:34,958 --> 00:24:38,958
me first ever interview in
a well-known TikTok style-y.
564
00:24:40,791 --> 00:24:43,333
♪ Follow me TikTok
Follow me TikTok, follow me ♪
565
00:24:43,416 --> 00:24:46,166
♪ Follow me TikTok
Follow me TikTok, follow me ♪♪
566
00:24:46,250 --> 00:24:49,000
We is here
with none other than
567
00:24:49,833 --> 00:24:52,791
General Rodeheaven.
568
00:24:53,291 --> 00:24:58,333
Him was a general in the American Army.
569
00:24:59,500 --> 00:25:01,583
Thank you for coming here today.
570
00:25:01,666 --> 00:25:03,583
-It's my pleasure.
-Ooh, this.
571
00:25:03,666 --> 00:25:06,000
Maybe it's better if you put that on.
572
00:25:07,708 --> 00:25:11,458
What was your favorite thing
that you did in the military?
573
00:25:13,208 --> 00:25:16,333
I helped promote young people,
574
00:25:16,416 --> 00:25:18,583
young men and women...
575
00:25:18,666 --> 00:25:24,333
to higher ranks and made them, um...
576
00:25:24,416 --> 00:25:27,666
How dangerous is Iran?
577
00:25:28,416 --> 00:25:30,708
I think Iran is
578
00:25:30,791 --> 00:25:33,958
the single most
dangerous country to us in the world.
579
00:25:34,583 --> 00:25:36,458
Iran has the...
580
00:25:36,541 --> 00:25:40,875
the possibility of completing
581
00:25:40,958 --> 00:25:43,208
nuclear weapons very quickly.
582
00:25:45,291 --> 00:25:49,416
They have already said they
have no problem using them.
583
00:25:50,250 --> 00:25:51,458
People liked it.
584
00:25:51,541 --> 00:25:53,750
In fact, things started taking off.
585
00:25:53,833 --> 00:25:56,666
Jazzy, give me something old-school.
586
00:25:57,916 --> 00:26:00,750
So check it out, we is doing
a mukbang here today.
587
00:26:00,833 --> 00:26:03,458
I's here with Professor Lichtman.
588
00:26:03,541 --> 00:26:07,458
Politics in America are something new.
589
00:26:07,541 --> 00:26:09,583
Donald Trump has said...
590
00:26:09,666 --> 00:26:12,416
the election was stolen from him.
591
00:26:12,916 --> 00:26:14,541
Who stole his erection?
592
00:26:14,625 --> 00:26:16,041
Nobody!
593
00:26:18,791 --> 00:26:21,958
I has got here none other than my man,
594
00:26:22,041 --> 00:26:24,250
Art McDonald.
595
00:26:24,333 --> 00:26:25,750
We is gonna do
596
00:26:25,833 --> 00:26:28,416
a clothes try-on haul.
597
00:26:33,708 --> 00:26:36,166
With me TikTok show doing well good,
598
00:26:36,250 --> 00:26:37,666
me promised Me Julie
599
00:26:37,750 --> 00:26:40,541
that me'd turn up
for some of her baby nonsense.
600
00:26:40,625 --> 00:26:42,583
This is the time
when you have to think about,
601
00:26:42,666 --> 00:26:44,500
what kind of father do I want to be?
602
00:26:45,125 --> 00:26:47,458
So what kind of father
do you want to be to this baby?
603
00:26:48,083 --> 00:26:49,416
I was thinking absent.
604
00:26:52,041 --> 00:26:53,708
Me was a success.
605
00:26:53,791 --> 00:26:56,416
Me had a million followers on the TikTok.
606
00:26:56,500 --> 00:26:58,916
It seemed like nothing could go wrong.
607
00:27:01,958 --> 00:27:04,625
Let's see if any of me fans
has got any comments.
608
00:27:04,708 --> 00:27:06,666
Well, introduce yourself.
609
00:27:06,750 --> 00:27:08,708
Hello. Who is you? Where you from?
610
00:27:08,791 --> 00:27:10,875
My name's Dr. Nira Cain-N'Degeocello
611
00:27:10,958 --> 00:27:14,625
and I represent
the entire Black community.
612
00:27:14,708 --> 00:27:16,333
I've got a message for you.
613
00:27:16,416 --> 00:27:17,708
For real. What's that?
614
00:27:17,791 --> 00:27:20,916
Unless one of your parents is Black,
615
00:27:21,375 --> 00:27:23,958
you are not allowed to continue speaking
616
00:27:24,041 --> 00:27:25,208
or performing like this.
617
00:27:25,291 --> 00:27:26,500
Why not? Who said that?
618
00:27:26,583 --> 00:27:28,833
Yeah, he's free to speak as he pleases.
619
00:27:28,916 --> 00:27:31,833
No! Because you are
a cultural appropriator.
620
00:27:31,916 --> 00:27:33,787
-Well, maybe...
-What a pile of nonsense.
621
00:27:33,791 --> 00:27:35,333
Not allowed by whom?
622
00:27:35,416 --> 00:27:38,250
Of course, he's free to speak as he wants.
623
00:27:38,333 --> 00:27:39,454
Yo, Me Julie, what's going on?
624
00:27:39,458 --> 00:27:42,000
Hey, you're talking a lot of old guff.
625
00:27:42,458 --> 00:27:44,500
He procreated?
626
00:27:44,583 --> 00:27:46,916
All right, me don't know who me dad was.
627
00:27:47,000 --> 00:27:48,708
Yo, if you is watching this now
628
00:27:48,791 --> 00:27:49,791
and you is me dad,
629
00:27:49,875 --> 00:27:52,500
me ain't never met you,
and you is a brother.
630
00:27:52,583 --> 00:27:55,708
Maybe you live in wherever,
Jamaica or, like,
631
00:27:55,791 --> 00:27:57,250
Nigeria or Wakanda,
632
00:27:57,333 --> 00:27:59,416
you give me a shout, right?
Me want to hear from you.
633
00:27:59,958 --> 00:28:03,083
If you do not stop producing your filth
634
00:28:03,166 --> 00:28:04,333
and return home...
635
00:28:05,625 --> 00:28:08,625
Then I will destroy you.
636
00:28:08,708 --> 00:28:10,537
All right, enough of him!
Enough of his threats.
637
00:28:10,541 --> 00:28:11,746
Yeah, enough of him, you rasclaat!
638
00:28:11,750 --> 00:28:14,041
-These crazy threats. Bye-bye.
-Yo, haters gonna hate.
639
00:28:14,125 --> 00:28:16,000
-Yo, bye-bye. Bye-bye.
-Bye-bye.
640
00:28:16,083 --> 00:28:18,208
There was danger in the air.
641
00:28:18,291 --> 00:28:20,333
A leader of the Black community
642
00:28:20,416 --> 00:28:21,833
came out against me.
643
00:28:21,916 --> 00:28:24,125
Ali G does not promote healthy values.
644
00:28:24,208 --> 00:28:26,791
Ali G supports oppression,
645
00:28:26,875 --> 00:28:30,875
and re-traumatizes his viewers.
646
00:28:30,958 --> 00:28:32,583
And we need to shut that down.
647
00:28:32,666 --> 00:28:36,291
Me had to find out
what me had been accused of.
648
00:28:36,375 --> 00:28:38,208
Yo, thank you very much for meeting me.
649
00:28:38,291 --> 00:28:39,791
-Of course.
-Respect.
650
00:28:41,291 --> 00:28:45,625
I is in a bad place
because I has been accused
651
00:28:45,708 --> 00:28:49,291
of being something called
a cultural appropriator.
652
00:28:50,125 --> 00:28:53,541
So I notice that you're wearing a durag.
653
00:28:54,291 --> 00:28:55,291
-What? This?
-Yes.
654
00:28:55,375 --> 00:28:56,458
-Yeah, for real.
-Yes.
655
00:28:56,541 --> 00:28:59,208
Do you know where they originated from?
656
00:28:59,291 --> 00:29:03,708
Yeah, from Egham High Street.
The market on Sundays.
657
00:29:04,375 --> 00:29:07,541
Do you know where
the durag originated from?
658
00:29:08,083 --> 00:29:10,916
China. That's what it said inside.
659
00:29:11,000 --> 00:29:12,708
-Okay, that's who made it.
-Yeah.
660
00:29:12,791 --> 00:29:14,958
So the durag
661
00:29:15,041 --> 00:29:18,541
is something that is used
in African American culture.
662
00:29:18,625 --> 00:29:22,666
Should me stop buying music
made by Black artists?
663
00:29:22,750 --> 00:29:24,416
No. Absolutely not.
664
00:29:24,500 --> 00:29:27,208
-Can me sing along to it?
-Absolutely.
665
00:29:27,291 --> 00:29:28,731
Can me do the voice?
666
00:29:29,333 --> 00:29:32,375
Okay, so that might be a challenge.
667
00:29:32,458 --> 00:29:34,916
So on the subject of music,
668
00:29:35,000 --> 00:29:36,833
is it all right for me to clap in time,
669
00:29:36,916 --> 00:29:39,708
or does I have to clap
out of time with the crackers?
670
00:29:41,125 --> 00:29:44,958
No, you can clap on time, on beat.
671
00:29:45,041 --> 00:29:47,416
But ain't that cultural appropriation?
672
00:29:47,500 --> 00:29:50,125
No, it's not. What it sounds like, is that
673
00:29:50,208 --> 00:29:54,916
instead of being curious
and being open to learning,
674
00:29:55,000 --> 00:29:56,916
you're trying to find an easy way out.
675
00:29:57,416 --> 00:29:58,458
-For real.
-Mm-hmm.
676
00:29:58,541 --> 00:30:00,458
Making the changes she wanted
677
00:30:00,541 --> 00:30:02,083
would mean me working harder
678
00:30:02,166 --> 00:30:04,625
than me'd ever done in me whole life,
679
00:30:04,708 --> 00:30:06,083
so me decided not to bother.
680
00:30:06,166 --> 00:30:08,708
♪ Me influence,
me is an influencer ♪♪
681
00:30:08,791 --> 00:30:12,833
Booyakasha. Me is here
with none other than
682
00:30:12,916 --> 00:30:16,958
Sheriff Ken Cum Bell.
683
00:30:17,041 --> 00:30:18,041
Campbell.
684
00:30:18,708 --> 00:30:20,291
Frank the Plank say "kiss him."
685
00:30:20,375 --> 00:30:22,416
-No, I ain't gonna do that.
-No. No...
686
00:30:22,500 --> 00:30:23,662
-Stop that.
-we're not gonna do that.
687
00:30:23,666 --> 00:30:25,226
Very immature. That ain't gonna happen.
688
00:30:25,500 --> 00:30:27,500
Uh, "Just a peck." All right. Fine.
689
00:30:27,583 --> 00:30:30,000
-Just a peck on the cheek.
-No!
690
00:30:30,083 --> 00:30:32,625
All right. "Hold his hand."
691
00:30:32,708 --> 00:30:34,291
All right. Hold his hand, then. Go on.
692
00:30:34,375 --> 00:30:37,083
No! I came here to do a job,
693
00:30:37,166 --> 00:30:39,086
and that's to... to be
a good interview with you.
694
00:30:39,125 --> 00:30:41,333
All right. Fine. We ain't gonna do it.
695
00:30:41,416 --> 00:30:43,083
Let's just... Come on, grow up.
696
00:30:43,958 --> 00:30:45,358
"Suck him off." I ain't doing that.
697
00:30:47,541 --> 00:30:48,541
Hold on.
698
00:30:53,416 --> 00:30:56,875
"I am your father."
699
00:30:57,583 --> 00:30:59,291
"I need to speak to you..."
700
00:31:01,125 --> 00:31:02,833
"ASAP."
701
00:31:07,291 --> 00:31:08,791
I is Black!
702
00:31:09,291 --> 00:31:12,791
Me dad is A$AP Rocky! Booyakasha!
703
00:31:13,291 --> 00:31:16,458
Yo, Mr. Nira Cain-N'Dongeocello,
704
00:31:16,541 --> 00:31:19,000
you can suck on me sleng teng
705
00:31:19,083 --> 00:31:22,125
'cause me father is Black, so so is I!
706
00:31:24,583 --> 00:31:26,250
Thank you, progressive warriors,
707
00:31:26,333 --> 00:31:27,916
for joining me in my teepee.
708
00:31:28,416 --> 00:31:30,458
We are at war.
709
00:31:30,541 --> 00:31:33,125
Ali G is now claiming his father
710
00:31:33,208 --> 00:31:34,666
is a person of color.
711
00:31:34,750 --> 00:31:39,166
We need to get proof
conclusively that he is white.
712
00:31:39,791 --> 00:31:42,416
But first, let's just ensure
that we're operating
713
00:31:42,500 --> 00:31:44,666
under a set of common values.
714
00:31:44,750 --> 00:31:46,416
How should we show appreciation
715
00:31:46,500 --> 00:31:48,875
for somebody else's, uh, comment?
716
00:31:48,958 --> 00:31:51,458
I like, uh, snapping. Or maybe...
717
00:31:52,500 --> 00:31:54,125
Yeah, probably snapping is my choice.
718
00:31:54,208 --> 00:31:55,833
How do you feel about that?
719
00:31:55,916 --> 00:31:58,541
Um, I'm a fan of nodding, but I...
720
00:31:58,625 --> 00:32:01,333
So, snapping is, uh, triggering?
721
00:32:01,416 --> 00:32:02,746
No, it's not triggering. It's just,
722
00:32:02,750 --> 00:32:05,000
um, a little bit out of my personal box,
723
00:32:05,083 --> 00:32:06,625
but I don't mind. It's totally okay.
724
00:32:06,708 --> 00:32:10,375
Is snapping not exclusionary
to the fingerless?
725
00:32:10,458 --> 00:32:14,083
Yeah. Yeah, I would say so.
726
00:32:14,750 --> 00:32:18,541
Should we move more to the nod?
727
00:32:18,625 --> 00:32:22,333
Wouldn't that be exclusionary
to someone who's, um, paraplegic, though?
728
00:32:22,416 --> 00:32:26,208
You know, your safety
is really, really important to us.
729
00:32:26,291 --> 00:32:28,916
If anyone has any psychological trauma,
730
00:32:29,000 --> 00:32:30,541
we have the number of a shaman.
731
00:32:31,291 --> 00:32:34,916
And in the evening,
we have a night shaman.
732
00:32:35,458 --> 00:32:38,458
Uh, actually, this says
"M. Night Shyamalan,"
733
00:32:38,541 --> 00:32:39,791
which is a mistake.
734
00:32:41,833 --> 00:32:42,916
As you may have noticed,
735
00:32:43,000 --> 00:32:46,583
there is a young BIPOC person
in this teepee.
736
00:32:46,666 --> 00:32:48,041
His name is Manu,
737
00:32:48,625 --> 00:32:51,583
and he is my unpaid African intern
738
00:32:51,666 --> 00:32:53,708
who I liberated from the Gambia.
739
00:32:54,708 --> 00:32:55,708
Hello.
740
00:32:56,375 --> 00:32:57,416
Come on.
741
00:32:58,291 --> 00:33:01,541
Let's talk about racism
and racial stereotypes.
742
00:33:01,625 --> 00:33:04,958
Looking at Manu,
do you think he has a small,
743
00:33:05,041 --> 00:33:08,250
average, large or enormous penis?
744
00:33:09,000 --> 00:33:10,750
I would probably say average.
745
00:33:11,208 --> 00:33:12,250
Fuck you.
746
00:33:13,125 --> 00:33:14,166
Okay.
747
00:33:17,000 --> 00:33:18,666
Maybe it will spice up our love life
748
00:33:18,750 --> 00:33:20,416
now that we're a mixed-race couple.
749
00:33:20,500 --> 00:33:23,291
Well, you ain't never been
with a brother before, innit?
750
00:33:23,375 --> 00:33:25,833
Actually, hold on.
751
00:33:25,916 --> 00:33:28,250
-Me should wear a condong.
-Why?
752
00:33:28,333 --> 00:33:30,541
'Cause me don't want to get
the baby pregnant, innit?
753
00:33:31,208 --> 00:33:32,708
You know what? You're right.
754
00:33:32,791 --> 00:33:34,271
I'm not ready to be a grandma. Go on.
755
00:33:34,291 --> 00:33:35,333
Be right back.
756
00:33:39,166 --> 00:33:43,583
♪ The dark shades of my skin ♪
757
00:33:46,416 --> 00:33:50,041
♪ Only add color to my tears ♪
758
00:33:50,958 --> 00:33:53,458
♪ Oh, oh ♪
759
00:33:53,541 --> 00:33:57,875
♪ Is it because I'm Black?
Oh ♪
760
00:33:58,750 --> 00:34:03,791
♪ Somebody tell me
what can I do... ♪♪
761
00:34:03,875 --> 00:34:05,035
How are you doing today, sir?
762
00:34:05,041 --> 00:34:06,791
What's up, my N-beep!
763
00:34:07,625 --> 00:34:12,166
I is looking for some dong stiffener.
764
00:34:12,958 --> 00:34:14,416
Ah! Okay, okay, okay.
765
00:34:14,500 --> 00:34:16,125
I know exactly what to get you.
766
00:34:16,208 --> 00:34:18,833
Make sure you eat
before you take this, okay?
767
00:34:18,916 --> 00:34:22,708
It's not for me.
It's for, uh, a mate of mine.
768
00:34:22,791 --> 00:34:24,250
-Uh-huh.
-Ever since Me Julie...
769
00:34:24,333 --> 00:34:28,083
I mean, His Julie got a bun in the oven,
770
00:34:28,166 --> 00:34:31,083
he can't get the dong stiff.
771
00:34:31,166 --> 00:34:33,125
-Oh, yeah, yeah. Don't...
-You know, not for me.
772
00:34:33,208 --> 00:34:34,454
-Let me try. Let me try.
-Yeah, yeah, it's okay.
773
00:34:34,458 --> 00:34:36,125
-Yeah, okay.
-Let me try. Let me try.
774
00:34:36,208 --> 00:34:38,166
-Yeah, man.
-Let me check one more.
775
00:34:41,250 --> 00:34:43,079
Don't take this one.
You're gonna have to wait about...
776
00:34:43,083 --> 00:34:44,163
One more. One more.
777
00:34:44,208 --> 00:34:45,746
That's too much
for both of those, bro.
778
00:34:45,750 --> 00:34:47,875
-One more. One more.
-You gonna need a doctor.
779
00:34:47,958 --> 00:34:50,291
The doctor... Last time me saw the doctor,
780
00:34:50,375 --> 00:34:53,541
him told me that she had a baby in there.
781
00:34:53,625 --> 00:34:55,065
-And me was like, "What?"
-Yeah, bro.
782
00:34:55,125 --> 00:34:57,750
Me thought she just needed
to break wind or something.
783
00:34:57,833 --> 00:34:59,333
-Uh-huh.
-Since then,
784
00:34:59,416 --> 00:35:01,666
me got oppression with the erection.
785
00:35:01,750 --> 00:35:04,125
I got you. Got you, G. I got you.
786
00:35:04,208 --> 00:35:06,208
It'll be $24 for both of those.
787
00:35:06,291 --> 00:35:08,458
All right, we'll take one more
just in case.
788
00:35:08,541 --> 00:35:10,261
Nah, bro, you got to read
the back of these.
789
00:35:10,333 --> 00:35:13,125
It ain't good to take
two of these at all at once.
790
00:35:13,208 --> 00:35:14,333
Don't worry.
791
00:35:14,416 --> 00:35:15,541
Bro, you...
792
00:35:15,625 --> 00:35:18,708
Okay. Okay. I ain't
reliable for you, boss.
793
00:35:18,791 --> 00:35:21,041
You know, someone
called me an appropriator,
794
00:35:21,125 --> 00:35:25,875
but then me found out
that me pops was actually a brother.
795
00:35:25,958 --> 00:35:27,416
-Yeah, bro.
-So I's the real deal.
796
00:35:27,500 --> 00:35:29,454
-The whole world is a part of the culture.
-Me and you.
797
00:35:29,458 --> 00:35:30,708
Is you Black? Is you Black?
798
00:35:30,791 --> 00:35:32,454
Come on, man, you don't
got to ask me that, man.
799
00:35:32,458 --> 00:35:34,000
-No, but you is?
-Yeah. Come on, man.
800
00:35:34,083 --> 00:35:36,166
-Well, me and you, too.
-All right, G.
801
00:35:36,250 --> 00:35:38,958
We's just
a couple of brothers chilling out.
802
00:35:39,041 --> 00:35:42,250
-One, me and you. Whoa!
-Yeah, my G. All right.
803
00:35:42,333 --> 00:35:43,750
Has you got kids?
804
00:35:43,833 --> 00:35:45,291
Yeah, I got one.
805
00:35:46,750 --> 00:35:49,041
What's it like? It's scary, right?
806
00:35:49,125 --> 00:35:51,708
Nah, it ain't scary at all.
It's a beautiful thing.
807
00:35:51,791 --> 00:35:54,083
-I'm gonna be... I'm gonna be a pops, man.
-Yeah.
808
00:35:54,166 --> 00:35:57,000
-Yeah. It's gonna be...
-Yo, give me some advice.
809
00:35:57,083 --> 00:35:59,416
The only advice I can
give you for having a kid
810
00:35:59,500 --> 00:36:01,875
is just take care
of your responsibilities.
811
00:36:01,958 --> 00:36:04,000
Treat your kid
like you want to be treated.
812
00:36:04,083 --> 00:36:05,323
Yo. With respect. With respect.
813
00:36:05,375 --> 00:36:07,375
And if you didn't have a good childhood,
814
00:36:08,166 --> 00:36:10,041
make sure your kid have a good childhood.
815
00:36:12,166 --> 00:36:13,208
But you good, boss?
816
00:36:13,291 --> 00:36:14,500
-What?
-You good?
817
00:36:15,250 --> 00:36:18,250
Yo, there's a rumble in the jungle.
818
00:36:18,333 --> 00:36:19,833
I think me beast is back.
819
00:36:20,708 --> 00:36:23,125
Whoa, whoa, whoa! Hey, yo!
820
00:36:23,791 --> 00:36:25,541
Yo!
821
00:36:26,208 --> 00:36:27,291
Yo.
822
00:36:27,375 --> 00:36:28,833
You better get home, G.
823
00:36:28,916 --> 00:36:31,291
I better get home.
Sorry I put that down, but you got...
824
00:36:31,375 --> 00:36:32,625
If someone come in here
825
00:36:32,708 --> 00:36:33,875
-with an erection...
-Yeah.
826
00:36:33,958 --> 00:36:35,871
They're gonna knock
everything down. I'm so sorry.
827
00:36:35,875 --> 00:36:38,625
Yeah, G, you got to go to your wife, bro.
828
00:36:38,708 --> 00:36:41,125
That's not safe to be having
out in the public, right now.
829
00:36:41,208 --> 00:36:43,791
For real. For real.
How many Black friends has you got?
830
00:36:43,875 --> 00:36:45,583
Black friends? A million.
831
00:36:45,666 --> 00:36:47,208
You has got a million and one, bruv.
832
00:36:47,291 --> 00:36:48,611
All right, bro, nice to meet you.
833
00:36:48,625 --> 00:36:50,416
I feel it now. Peace, brethren.
834
00:36:50,500 --> 00:36:54,083
Jah Rastafari. I see you,
Montego Bay. Sleng teng.
835
00:36:56,375 --> 00:36:58,875
Life is crazy.
836
00:37:00,166 --> 00:37:01,291
Uh, Mitch.
837
00:37:01,375 --> 00:37:03,575
-André. It's good to meet you.
-André. Nice to meet you.
838
00:37:05,041 --> 00:37:06,208
Are you nervous?
839
00:37:06,291 --> 00:37:07,791
-For what?
-Uh, this.
840
00:37:08,875 --> 00:37:09,958
Nah, not really.
841
00:37:10,833 --> 00:37:13,916
Okay, we have his hotel
under surveillance.
842
00:37:14,000 --> 00:37:16,625
The cultural appropriator
is out of the hotel.
843
00:37:16,708 --> 00:37:19,458
We have an opportunity
to get in there fast,
844
00:37:19,541 --> 00:37:21,701
proving once and for all...
845
00:37:21,750 --> 00:37:24,333
that he is not a person of color.
846
00:37:24,416 --> 00:37:26,541
We're going to need to get his DNA.
847
00:37:28,500 --> 00:37:30,458
We will be going undercover
848
00:37:30,541 --> 00:37:33,958
as Ali G and his hip-hop posse.
849
00:37:35,125 --> 00:37:38,375
Okay, you look good.
Okay, you got knickers?
850
00:37:38,458 --> 00:37:40,166
I got the knickers. You got the hoes?
851
00:37:40,250 --> 00:37:42,916
You got the britches?
Where are the britches?
852
00:37:43,000 --> 00:37:46,333
Okay, let's go,
let's go, let's go! Okay, just act cool.
853
00:37:46,416 --> 00:37:50,416
Yo, yo, yo, uh, what is up?
854
00:37:51,666 --> 00:37:54,375
I'm Ali G. Uh, I need my room key.
855
00:37:54,833 --> 00:37:56,958
Um, I just need to see an ID
856
00:37:57,041 --> 00:37:58,579
and I'll go ahead and get you those keys.
857
00:37:58,583 --> 00:38:01,458
-What?
-I just need the ID to check you in.
858
00:38:01,541 --> 00:38:03,162
There's the master key.
859
00:38:03,166 --> 00:38:05,583
You distract this recepto-fascist,
860
00:38:06,333 --> 00:38:08,000
while I steal it.
861
00:38:08,083 --> 00:38:09,829
Um, I definitely can make you a key.
862
00:38:09,833 --> 00:38:11,541
I just have to have ID to do that.
863
00:38:12,166 --> 00:38:13,286
Thank you, ma'am.
864
00:38:16,583 --> 00:38:18,000
Where's he going?
865
00:38:18,083 --> 00:38:20,458
That's breaking and entering
and I'm not about that.
866
00:38:20,541 --> 00:38:21,708
Come on, all for one.
867
00:38:21,791 --> 00:38:23,246
That's breaking and entering...
868
00:38:23,250 --> 00:38:24,530
-Why?
-and I'm not about that.
869
00:38:43,291 --> 00:38:46,375
Whoa.
870
00:38:47,250 --> 00:38:49,708
This room reeks of DNA.
871
00:38:50,333 --> 00:38:52,333
Luckily, I have a black light.
872
00:38:52,416 --> 00:38:54,416
I mean, sorry, a light of color.
873
00:38:59,375 --> 00:39:00,625
Love you.
874
00:39:00,708 --> 00:39:02,268
Take that.
875
00:39:04,916 --> 00:39:07,916
We did it. Fucking got it.
876
00:39:08,916 --> 00:39:11,000
We were in there looking
for DNA, and we were, like,
877
00:39:11,083 --> 00:39:12,523
on the close side of the room, dude,
878
00:39:12,541 --> 00:39:13,916
and when I heard that door open...
879
00:39:14,000 --> 00:39:15,000
Oh, my God.
880
00:39:16,250 --> 00:39:17,791
Hold on, what's that?
881
00:39:17,875 --> 00:39:20,041
That's him. That's him.
We need to go down.
882
00:39:29,375 --> 00:39:32,541
He comes in, like, super fucked up
off some pills or something,
883
00:39:32,625 --> 00:39:35,125
and he's, like, barely even,
like, understandable.
884
00:39:36,375 --> 00:39:39,166
Oh, me is mashed.
885
00:39:42,416 --> 00:39:44,291
What a long night.
886
00:39:47,000 --> 00:39:50,041
He's wearing headphones,
he can't hear us. Let's go.
887
00:39:53,000 --> 00:39:54,333
Me Julie? Is that you?
888
00:39:56,375 --> 00:39:57,495
Yes.
889
00:39:57,500 --> 00:39:59,791
Will you talk dirty to me?
890
00:39:59,875 --> 00:40:01,537
Talk dirty to you?
891
00:40:01,541 --> 00:40:03,416
And then he, like, flipped him over
892
00:40:03,500 --> 00:40:05,166
and started having sex with him.
893
00:40:07,166 --> 00:40:09,166
The people united
894
00:40:09,250 --> 00:40:10,750
will never be divided.
895
00:40:10,833 --> 00:40:13,162
As quick as you can, honey. Thank you.
896
00:40:13,166 --> 00:40:16,166
The people united
will never be divided.
897
00:40:16,666 --> 00:40:18,541
Like I... He must have been so fucked up.
898
00:40:18,625 --> 00:40:20,458
I don't even think he knew who we were.
899
00:40:21,583 --> 00:40:23,375
Holy shit.
900
00:40:26,416 --> 00:40:29,041
♪ Cherish the love we have ♪
901
00:40:29,125 --> 00:40:34,250
♪ We should cherish
the life we live... ♪♪
902
00:40:35,166 --> 00:40:37,666
He took off his shoe at the end and we...
903
00:40:38,041 --> 00:40:39,666
uh, I held it up to his butt,
904
00:40:39,750 --> 00:40:44,791
and then he pooped out
the semen basically into the moccasin.
905
00:40:44,875 --> 00:40:47,541
Okay, there we go. Anything?
906
00:40:53,416 --> 00:40:54,496
Hi, how are you?
907
00:40:54,500 --> 00:40:56,260
I'm doing good.
I have a drop-off.
908
00:40:56,458 --> 00:40:58,454
-A drop-off?
-Yeah. For a...
909
00:40:58,458 --> 00:41:00,416
It's a... a test of semen.
910
00:41:00,958 --> 00:41:03,125
-Okay.
-For, um, ethnic...
911
00:41:03,208 --> 00:41:05,037
-For an ancestry?
-Yeah, ancestry. Yeah.
912
00:41:05,041 --> 00:41:06,441
-That's what I'm looking for.
-Yeah.
913
00:41:07,625 --> 00:41:08,945
I got the results.
914
00:41:09,250 --> 00:41:10,875
That's Alistair.
915
00:41:10,958 --> 00:41:12,125
Okay.
916
00:41:18,208 --> 00:41:20,541
Can I, may I? May I? Um, may I?
917
00:41:20,625 --> 00:41:22,500
Yeah. We got it.
918
00:41:24,375 --> 00:41:25,541
Listen,
919
00:41:25,625 --> 00:41:26,916
here's the plan.
920
00:41:27,000 --> 00:41:31,666
You film Ali while showing
him the DNA results,
921
00:41:32,208 --> 00:41:33,750
then we'll post the footage
922
00:41:33,833 --> 00:41:37,000
and let the online world
destroy him.
923
00:41:40,833 --> 00:41:42,791
Are you Ali G?
924
00:41:42,875 --> 00:41:44,750
My name is Mitch. I'm a big fan, man.
925
00:41:44,833 --> 00:41:46,791
Yo, big up yourself. Have a seat.
926
00:41:46,875 --> 00:41:48,958
Do you mind if I just ask you
one quick question?
927
00:41:49,041 --> 00:41:51,375
Me is usually the interviewer,
but go ahead, innit.
928
00:41:51,458 --> 00:41:54,750
I was just kind of curious
because my friend, uh.
929
00:41:54,833 --> 00:41:56,166
Recently got some DNA from you,
930
00:41:56,250 --> 00:41:59,208
and they did a DNA test,
and it turns out...
931
00:41:59,291 --> 00:42:02,916
Whoa, whoa, whoa. Hold on.
You got some DNA from me? How?
932
00:42:04,208 --> 00:42:06,125
My friend slept with you
in your hotel room.
933
00:42:07,291 --> 00:42:09,458
-What?
-My male friend, actually.
934
00:42:09,541 --> 00:42:12,291
You saying me boned him?
935
00:42:12,375 --> 00:42:14,000
Yeah. Actually, it was me and him.
936
00:42:14,083 --> 00:42:15,791
We were both in the room together and...
937
00:42:15,875 --> 00:42:19,083
So you just sat there and watched?
938
00:42:19,750 --> 00:42:22,583
It's all just atoms
and particles, you know? It doesn't...
939
00:42:22,666 --> 00:42:24,833
There's nothing wrong, nothing unnatural.
940
00:42:24,916 --> 00:42:27,583
Hold on, hold on.
Tell me at least that him
941
00:42:27,666 --> 00:42:29,958
could easily be confused
with Sydney Sweeney.
942
00:42:31,625 --> 00:42:33,145
Yeah, I would say so. I'll just say...
943
00:42:33,208 --> 00:42:34,875
Yeah, like, definitely you could get
944
00:42:34,958 --> 00:42:36,500
a little, maybe confused.
945
00:42:37,291 --> 00:42:38,750
But long story short,
946
00:42:38,833 --> 00:42:41,000
when he did your heritage test,
947
00:42:41,083 --> 00:42:42,458
you're 100% Scottish.
948
00:42:43,041 --> 00:42:44,541
Which part of Africa is Scotland in?
949
00:42:45,208 --> 00:42:47,458
Uh, Scotland is based in the UK.
950
00:42:48,375 --> 00:42:51,166
Uh, next to Wales,
across from Great Britain.
951
00:42:51,916 --> 00:42:55,500
Verified relatives. Your dad
is Malcolm Rocky Atkins.
952
00:43:01,708 --> 00:43:03,416
A$AP Rocky ain't me daddy.
953
00:43:04,625 --> 00:43:06,625
I think this is something
you can be proud of, man.
954
00:43:06,708 --> 00:43:08,916
This is, uh, you know, you're Scottish.
955
00:43:09,000 --> 00:43:11,416
Like the... the proud Scots.
956
00:43:14,208 --> 00:43:16,916
It's a lot to take in
in one night, man. It's going to be okay.
957
00:43:17,000 --> 00:43:19,708
I think you can... you can
change for the better, man.
958
00:43:19,791 --> 00:43:21,831
You got your girl.
There's a lot to be thankful for.
959
00:43:21,875 --> 00:43:24,916
Yo, it's just been such a mental few days.
960
00:43:25,708 --> 00:43:27,250
Like the other night...
961
00:43:29,166 --> 00:43:31,041
me dreamt that me was bonin' me honey
962
00:43:31,125 --> 00:43:33,000
while Flavor Flav was in the room.
963
00:43:35,458 --> 00:43:36,750
I think that was me.
964
00:43:38,500 --> 00:43:39,708
All right, stay strong, man.
965
00:43:43,583 --> 00:43:45,166
In just 24 hours,
966
00:43:45,250 --> 00:43:48,125
me went from being young, gifted and Black
967
00:43:48,750 --> 00:43:52,000
to being white, Scottish and a gay lord.
968
00:43:56,416 --> 00:43:57,958
Rah.
969
00:43:58,041 --> 00:44:00,500
-What?
-Babe, you're trending!
970
00:44:00,583 --> 00:44:02,041
Oh, wicked.
971
00:44:02,125 --> 00:44:05,208
Ali G cannot continue to exist
on our screens.
972
00:44:05,291 --> 00:44:06,708
Ali G is white,
973
00:44:06,791 --> 00:44:08,791
he's not Black, and we need to cancel him.
974
00:44:08,875 --> 00:44:10,555
She doesn't know what she's talking about.
975
00:44:10,583 --> 00:44:14,708
I'm 12.5% Black, but 100% disgusted
by Ali G. And I hope this...
976
00:44:14,791 --> 00:44:15,875
Shut up!
977
00:44:15,958 --> 00:44:18,250
Ali G, go back to Scotland.
We don't want you here.
978
00:44:18,333 --> 00:44:19,973
Whatever. She's got a funny looking head.
979
00:44:20,041 --> 00:44:22,250
Me was cancelized.
980
00:44:22,333 --> 00:44:25,125
The only way back was to say sorry.
981
00:44:25,208 --> 00:44:27,250
Me couldn't risk effing it up,
982
00:44:27,333 --> 00:44:31,666
so me studied
some apology videos to learn how to do it.
983
00:44:31,750 --> 00:44:36,333
I apologize to you.
984
00:44:36,416 --> 00:44:40,500
Uh, my behavior was unacceptable.
985
00:44:41,125 --> 00:44:43,291
You know, I... I made a choice.
986
00:44:44,666 --> 00:44:46,333
So me gathered leaders
987
00:44:46,416 --> 00:44:48,333
from all the different
communities in the world
988
00:44:48,416 --> 00:44:50,458
to apologize to them
989
00:44:50,541 --> 00:44:52,666
so that they would spread the word
990
00:44:53,291 --> 00:44:54,666
and get me forgiven.
991
00:44:55,416 --> 00:44:59,666
I would like to publicly apologize.
992
00:45:00,250 --> 00:45:02,125
I was wrong.
993
00:45:02,666 --> 00:45:06,208
Jokes at my expense are part of the job,
994
00:45:06,916 --> 00:45:09,416
but a joke about Jada's medical condition
995
00:45:09,500 --> 00:45:11,791
was too much for me to bear,
996
00:45:11,875 --> 00:45:14,000
and me reacted emotionally.
997
00:45:15,125 --> 00:45:16,916
If you don't forgive me,
998
00:45:17,000 --> 00:45:19,125
me hope that this changes your mind.
999
00:45:19,708 --> 00:45:21,416
This is totally legit and real,
1000
00:45:21,500 --> 00:45:24,416
and there's no way that this is AI.
1001
00:45:25,833 --> 00:45:27,541
We forgive you, Ali G.
1002
00:45:27,625 --> 00:45:29,583
-We forgive you.
-Them forgive me.
1003
00:45:29,666 --> 00:45:30,666
We forgive you.
1004
00:45:30,750 --> 00:45:33,291
We forgive you, Ali G!
1005
00:45:33,375 --> 00:45:36,041
Hello, it's me, Nelson Mandela.
1006
00:45:36,125 --> 00:45:38,666
And I completely forgive you, Ali G.
1007
00:45:38,750 --> 00:45:40,208
Everything good, me bro.
1008
00:45:40,291 --> 00:45:41,371
♪ We forgive you ♪
1009
00:45:41,375 --> 00:45:42,735
This is not AI. It's real.
1010
00:45:42,750 --> 00:45:47,083
♪ Ali G
We forgive you ♪
1011
00:45:47,166 --> 00:45:50,500
♪ We forgive you ♪
1012
00:45:50,583 --> 00:45:55,458
♪ We completely
and utterly forgive you ♪
1013
00:45:55,541 --> 00:46:00,708
♪ HBO were wrong to cancel your show ♪
1014
00:46:00,791 --> 00:46:04,375
♪ We forgive you, Ali G ♪
1015
00:46:04,458 --> 00:46:08,541
♪ All Black people forgive you ♪
1016
00:46:08,625 --> 00:46:11,291
♪ We forgive you ♪
1017
00:46:11,375 --> 00:46:14,208
♪ And we all want you to bone us ♪
1018
00:46:14,291 --> 00:46:18,375
♪ We forgive you ♪♪
1019
00:46:21,041 --> 00:46:22,746
♪ Yo, it's one to the two ♪
1020
00:46:22,750 --> 00:46:24,458
♪ Two to the three ♪
1021
00:46:24,541 --> 00:46:26,500
♪ I gotta smoke you up a big apology ♪
1022
00:46:26,583 --> 00:46:28,708
♪ I has come back from heaven today ♪
1023
00:46:28,791 --> 00:46:32,333
♪ To say we owe you
an apology to make it okay ♪
1024
00:46:34,000 --> 00:46:37,166
♪ It's Big Poppa
floating straight from heaven's gate ♪
1025
00:46:37,250 --> 00:46:39,166
♪ Just gotta tell you that you is great ♪
1026
00:46:39,250 --> 00:46:41,458
♪ Ain't no way you did nothing wrong ♪
1027
00:46:41,541 --> 00:46:43,916
♪ Plus, you a better MC
and got a massive dong ♪
1028
00:46:44,000 --> 00:46:46,291
♪ My name is Moses
Used to split the sea ♪
1029
00:46:46,375 --> 00:46:48,666
♪ But thanks to Ali G,
I'm splitting punani ♪
1030
00:46:48,750 --> 00:46:50,916
♪ Used to have
Ten Commandments, as you can see ♪
1031
00:46:51,000 --> 00:46:52,333
♪ But now I got only one ♪
1032
00:46:52,416 --> 00:46:55,416
♪ Thou shalt blow me
B-B-B-B-Blow me ♪
1033
00:46:55,500 --> 00:46:58,083
♪ Yo, yo, my name is Adolf Hitler ♪
1034
00:46:58,166 --> 00:46:59,708
♪ Wish I'd met you in '38 ♪
1035
00:46:59,791 --> 00:47:01,911
♪ 'Cause you'd
have convinced me that Jews are great ♪
1036
00:47:01,958 --> 00:47:05,041
♪ G-G-G-G-Greta
My name's Greta Thunberg ♪
1037
00:47:05,125 --> 00:47:07,208
♪ I'm always moaning
Enough of this shit ♪
1038
00:47:07,291 --> 00:47:10,958
♪ Let's start the bonin'
B-B-B-B-B-B-B-Bonin', bonin' ♪
1039
00:47:11,041 --> 00:47:13,291
♪ Ali, is you there?
It's your nan ♪
1040
00:47:13,375 --> 00:47:15,583
♪ Everyone knows that you the man ♪
1041
00:47:15,666 --> 00:47:17,958
♪ It weren't your fault that I is dead ♪
1042
00:47:18,041 --> 00:47:20,125
♪ Just because two bitches
was giving you head ♪
1043
00:47:20,208 --> 00:47:22,791
♪ Yeah, that threesome
squashed her with a Jacuzzi ♪
1044
00:47:22,875 --> 00:47:25,250
♪ But you was firing your load
like a big, dumb Uzi ♪
1045
00:47:25,333 --> 00:47:27,666
♪ Plus, she got to die
with these great titties ♪
1046
00:47:27,750 --> 00:47:29,910
♪ Now she's up in heaven
getting fingered by Biggie ♪♪
1047
00:47:34,291 --> 00:47:35,375
Where's you going?
1048
00:47:36,916 --> 00:47:40,291
Whoa, whoa, whoa. Stay. Stay.
You's gonna miss the best bit.
1049
00:47:40,375 --> 00:47:41,541
Please don't leave.
1050
00:47:41,625 --> 00:47:44,083
Please.
1051
00:47:45,375 --> 00:47:48,166
So that's it. Will you spread
the word that I is forgiven?
1052
00:47:48,250 --> 00:47:49,750
Uh...
1053
00:47:49,833 --> 00:47:51,329
I'm not going to say that I'll do that,
1054
00:47:51,333 --> 00:47:53,250
but I will... I will say a prayer for you.
1055
00:48:14,916 --> 00:48:16,125
Yo, it didn't go well.
1056
00:48:16,208 --> 00:48:17,666
Aw, rah.
1057
00:48:17,750 --> 00:48:19,708
Rah, I'm so sorry, babe.
1058
00:48:19,791 --> 00:48:23,458
Does you think me should do
an apology video for the apology video?
1059
00:48:23,541 --> 00:48:26,458
I don't think so. Let's just go home.
1060
00:48:30,916 --> 00:48:32,791
You know, it really
is for the best, right?
1061
00:48:32,875 --> 00:48:35,416
We're gonna go home. Start our family.
1062
00:48:35,500 --> 00:48:38,708
It's gonna be beautiful.
Baby, you're gonna be a dad.
1063
00:48:43,708 --> 00:48:44,833
Who be this?
1064
00:48:44,916 --> 00:48:46,583
Hi, this is Karl Condello.
1065
00:48:46,666 --> 00:48:48,625
I saw what the woke mob did to you.
1066
00:48:48,708 --> 00:48:51,208
I'm calling to offer you a job
as the host of a show
1067
00:48:51,291 --> 00:48:52,708
called The Free Speech Show.
1068
00:48:52,791 --> 00:48:54,708
You know,
it is the opportunity of a lifetime,
1069
00:48:54,791 --> 00:48:56,333
it'll make you a star again.
1070
00:48:56,416 --> 00:48:58,416
We'd love to have you on board.
1071
00:48:58,500 --> 00:49:00,333
The new executive producer for the show.
1072
00:49:00,416 --> 00:49:02,416
And we're going to have
some famous guests on here.
1073
00:49:02,458 --> 00:49:05,458
Alex Jones, Kid Rock, Kari Lake.
1074
00:49:05,541 --> 00:49:07,166
And you'd be the perfect host for it.
1075
00:49:07,250 --> 00:49:09,000
What? Me own show?
1076
00:49:09,083 --> 00:49:12,291
Yeah, it's a brand new,
not left woke type.
1077
00:49:12,375 --> 00:49:13,496
It's going to be on the other side.
1078
00:49:13,500 --> 00:49:15,583
-This is with the message...
-Tell him to call back.
1079
00:49:15,666 --> 00:49:17,621
-We're gonna miss the flight.
-Yeah, yeah, yeah! Hold on.
1080
00:49:17,625 --> 00:49:18,625
Wait, wait, wait.
1081
00:49:18,708 --> 00:49:20,121
Yo, yo, tell me more about this show.
1082
00:49:20,125 --> 00:49:22,375
You'll be able to
continue what you're saying,
1083
00:49:22,458 --> 00:49:24,791
and not have to be worried
about pissing off other people.
1084
00:49:24,875 --> 00:49:27,625
This is going to be, you know,
exactly how you feel.
1085
00:49:27,708 --> 00:49:30,083
Why is he offering you a show
out of nowhere?
1086
00:49:30,166 --> 00:49:31,541
The guy sounds weird, bruv.
1087
00:49:31,625 --> 00:49:33,958
Well, he's gonna help us
live our dream, innit?
1088
00:49:34,041 --> 00:49:36,375
Your dreams. Come on, Ali.
1089
00:49:36,458 --> 00:49:40,291
Me can't do it. It can't...
can't be all about the kid.
1090
00:49:40,375 --> 00:49:42,375
Well right now, it is all about the kid,
1091
00:49:42,458 --> 00:49:44,208
if you haven't noticed.
1092
00:49:44,291 --> 00:49:45,833
A kid who needs a dad.
1093
00:49:45,916 --> 00:49:47,916
Me never wanted to be a dad.
1094
00:49:48,000 --> 00:49:50,000
Me told you that it was you
1095
00:49:50,083 --> 00:49:52,250
that always wanted
to be a dad, not me, innit?
1096
00:49:52,333 --> 00:49:53,458
What?
1097
00:49:55,041 --> 00:49:56,541
You don't want to be a dad?
1098
00:49:56,625 --> 00:49:59,541
I's been waiting for 20 years for this!
1099
00:50:00,083 --> 00:50:03,875
This show sound the bomb.
1100
00:50:03,958 --> 00:50:07,125
It sounds unethnical.
What are you thinking?
1101
00:50:07,208 --> 00:50:09,333
This isn't you. I think this is a setup.
1102
00:50:09,416 --> 00:50:10,708
Don't do it.
1103
00:50:11,458 --> 00:50:14,375
Babe, if you choose that show,
1104
00:50:15,583 --> 00:50:16,875
we're over.
1105
00:50:23,500 --> 00:50:24,875
Do we have a deal?
1106
00:50:25,416 --> 00:50:26,958
Alistair.
1107
00:50:29,125 --> 00:50:30,125
Yes, we does.
1108
00:50:30,208 --> 00:50:32,375
Send me the deals.
1109
00:50:42,458 --> 00:50:45,000
♪ Who is I?
Who be me? ♪
1110
00:50:45,083 --> 00:50:47,833
♪ What is my identity?
What? ♪
1111
00:50:47,916 --> 00:50:50,750
♪ Was me right to leave Julie
Yes ♪
1112
00:50:50,833 --> 00:50:53,125
♪ And the baby in her punani? ♪
1113
00:50:53,208 --> 00:50:54,500
♪ These is dark days ♪
1114
00:50:54,583 --> 00:50:56,666
♪ Me don't know who me is, yo ♪
1115
00:50:56,750 --> 00:50:59,375
♪ Me just know
me ain't ready for a kid, no ♪
1116
00:50:59,458 --> 00:51:02,291
♪ Me can't give the baby education ♪
1117
00:51:02,375 --> 00:51:05,083
♪ Me gotta fix up
me own reputation, right ♪
1118
00:51:05,166 --> 00:51:08,083
♪ So me left her
at the plane station ♪
1119
00:51:08,166 --> 00:51:10,666
♪ What good for me
is good for the nation ♪
1120
00:51:10,750 --> 00:51:13,083
♪ Ali come from the Staines
in the hood ♪
1121
00:51:13,166 --> 00:51:16,416
♪ And me gonna rock it fine
And me gonna rock it good ♪♪
1122
00:51:16,500 --> 00:51:19,250
Me headed off to meet Dirk Visser,
1123
00:51:19,333 --> 00:51:21,041
this South African producer
1124
00:51:21,125 --> 00:51:23,333
who was an arms manufacturer
1125
00:51:23,416 --> 00:51:25,833
and inventor of the South African Uzi.
1126
00:51:25,916 --> 00:51:28,291
Do you know
what the guy's name is that's coming?
1127
00:51:28,375 --> 00:51:30,000
-Ali.
-Okay. Alec.
1128
00:51:30,083 --> 00:51:32,125
-Ali.
-Ali. Okay.
1129
00:51:32,208 --> 00:51:34,166
-Hello, Ali.
-Yo. Respect.
1130
00:51:34,250 --> 00:51:35,621
I'm one of the producers of the show.
1131
00:51:35,625 --> 00:51:37,875
♪ Who is I?
Who be me? ♪
1132
00:51:37,958 --> 00:51:40,583
So, we'll show you. This is
the pre-staging area here.
1133
00:51:40,666 --> 00:51:43,666
♪ Is me ebony or ivory? ♪
1134
00:51:43,750 --> 00:51:46,458
♪ Or random mix like bukkake? ♪
1135
00:51:46,541 --> 00:51:49,208
♪ Where should me live?
Which side of town? ♪
1136
00:51:49,291 --> 00:51:50,537
-♪ 'Cause me face is white ♪
-Wicked.
1137
00:51:50,541 --> 00:51:53,375
-♪ But me nuts is brown ♪♪
-This is like me old show.
1138
00:51:54,208 --> 00:51:56,083
Feels good to be back, innit?
1139
00:51:56,166 --> 00:51:58,125
It does.
1140
00:52:03,333 --> 00:52:06,083
My name is Dr. Nira Cain-N'Degeocello.
1141
00:52:06,166 --> 00:52:11,000
I'm here to get your approval
on a variety of changes
1142
00:52:11,083 --> 00:52:12,625
to your school's curricula,
1143
00:52:12,708 --> 00:52:15,250
with the full blessing of state governor
1144
00:52:15,333 --> 00:52:18,791
Gavin Newsom before his term
tragically ends.
1145
00:52:19,541 --> 00:52:23,666
We have developed
over the last year an exciting new program
1146
00:52:23,750 --> 00:52:27,458
called the Compulsory
Gender Reversal Year.
1147
00:52:27,541 --> 00:52:28,791
"Reversal"?
1148
00:52:28,875 --> 00:52:34,458
All children age 10 will be made
to spend a year as the opposite gender...
1149
00:52:34,541 --> 00:52:36,375
-What the...
-Are you kidding me?
1150
00:52:36,458 --> 00:52:37,871
To the one they were
assigned with at birth.
1151
00:52:37,875 --> 00:52:39,291
Hard no. Hard no.
1152
00:52:39,375 --> 00:52:42,458
Why would I have my son
dress like a girl for a year?
1153
00:52:42,541 --> 00:52:45,500
Let's not judge it.
Children who excel at the yearlong trial
1154
00:52:45,583 --> 00:52:46,958
will be given the option
1155
00:52:47,041 --> 00:52:49,791
to join the "Make It Stick Program,"
1156
00:52:49,875 --> 00:52:52,458
where they will have
the opportunity to undergo
1157
00:52:52,541 --> 00:52:55,166
semi-permanent
gender reassignment surgery.
1158
00:52:55,250 --> 00:52:56,333
Oh, my God!
1159
00:52:56,416 --> 00:53:01,500
To make it fun, children can choose
celebrities they admire.
1160
00:53:01,583 --> 00:53:05,375
This is Timmy. He chose
Kim Kardashian's buttocks.
1161
00:53:06,708 --> 00:53:08,162
-Wait.
-What the...
1162
00:53:08,166 --> 00:53:09,646
Are you kidding?
1163
00:53:09,666 --> 00:53:10,916
This is Timmy.
1164
00:53:11,000 --> 00:53:13,500
Can Timmy choose to vote?
Can he choose to drive?
1165
00:53:13,583 --> 00:53:15,125
Can he choose to join the military?
1166
00:53:15,208 --> 00:53:19,333
A child called Charlotte.
She was a fan of Orlando Bloom,
1167
00:53:19,875 --> 00:53:21,541
and chose his phallus.
1168
00:53:22,583 --> 00:53:24,125
Look how joyful Charlie is.
1169
00:53:24,208 --> 00:53:26,208
That's a porno... That is sick.
1170
00:53:26,291 --> 00:53:27,416
What? Not now.
1171
00:53:27,500 --> 00:53:29,125
Boss. Boss, we have a problem.
1172
00:53:29,208 --> 00:53:31,708
What's this? I'm sorry.
1173
00:53:31,791 --> 00:53:32,833
It's him.
1174
00:53:35,083 --> 00:53:37,666
He's back.
1175
00:53:37,750 --> 00:53:39,350
Okay, so what we're going to do
1176
00:53:39,375 --> 00:53:40,666
is first do an entrance.
1177
00:53:40,750 --> 00:53:42,166
You're going to go in the back,
1178
00:53:42,250 --> 00:53:43,610
and you're going to come out here.
1179
00:53:43,666 --> 00:53:45,750
Then you're going to do a dance routine.
1180
00:53:45,833 --> 00:53:47,583
And then
there's going to be the monologue.
1181
00:53:47,666 --> 00:53:49,386
-Check this out.
-All right. Who wrote that?
1182
00:53:49,416 --> 00:53:51,125
Um...
1183
00:53:51,208 --> 00:53:53,583
I wrote it... uh, originally.
1184
00:53:53,666 --> 00:53:55,500
-All right. For real.
-That's correct. Yeah.
1185
00:53:55,583 --> 00:53:57,204
Then we're playing on the Elon Musk thing,
1186
00:53:57,208 --> 00:54:00,041
where he was speaking to the audience,
1187
00:54:00,125 --> 00:54:01,954
and he said, you know,
"I love you" kind of thing.
1188
00:54:01,958 --> 00:54:03,416
But why is that me love you?
1189
00:54:03,500 --> 00:54:04,666
That's just, you know...
1190
00:54:04,750 --> 00:54:05,912
Yo, that's what he did?
1191
00:54:05,916 --> 00:54:07,412
-Yeah, what he did.
-So, he's full of love?
1192
00:54:07,416 --> 00:54:09,079
-Yeah, he's full of love.
-All right, so...
1193
00:54:09,083 --> 00:54:11,041
And you're going to go
to the audience and say,
1194
00:54:11,125 --> 00:54:13,875
although like, basically, "Free Speech."
1195
00:54:13,958 --> 00:54:15,583
But go like, "Free Speech."
1196
00:54:15,666 --> 00:54:17,458
For real, so, "Free Speech."
1197
00:54:17,541 --> 00:54:18,954
All right, as long
as that's spreading the love.
1198
00:54:18,958 --> 00:54:20,000
-Big up.
-That's it.
1199
00:54:22,291 --> 00:54:23,708
Tomorrow, 2:00 p.m.
1200
00:54:23,791 --> 00:54:24,833
No!
1201
00:54:32,291 --> 00:54:33,333
Manu.
1202
00:54:33,416 --> 00:54:34,500
Yes, sir.
1203
00:54:34,958 --> 00:54:36,000
I have it!
1204
00:54:36,541 --> 00:54:39,500
If I can't stop Ali G,
1205
00:54:39,583 --> 00:54:43,125
I'll destroy the one person
that he truly cares about.
1206
00:54:43,208 --> 00:54:44,750
His Julie.
1207
00:54:44,833 --> 00:54:46,125
How will we do that?
1208
00:54:46,208 --> 00:54:48,458
By kidnapping her.
1209
00:54:49,541 --> 00:54:51,333
You want us to kidnap her?
1210
00:54:51,416 --> 00:54:53,583
No, of course we won't.
1211
00:54:53,666 --> 00:54:57,666
We're going to get some
conspiracy theorists to kidnap her for us.
1212
00:54:58,291 --> 00:54:59,916
We just need to find an authority figure
1213
00:55:00,000 --> 00:55:01,833
that these people would take orders from.
1214
00:55:01,916 --> 00:55:06,375
Ooh. What about this
Scottish lesbian psychopath?
1215
00:55:06,791 --> 00:55:09,166
Burger houses changed fashion cafes.
1216
00:55:09,250 --> 00:55:10,916
Too expensive.
1217
00:55:11,000 --> 00:55:12,791
And how about him?
1218
00:55:14,250 --> 00:55:16,708
My name Colonel Erran Morad.
1219
00:55:16,791 --> 00:55:19,291
I am the Terrorist Terminator.
1220
00:55:19,375 --> 00:55:21,333
ISIS are scared
1221
00:55:21,416 --> 00:55:23,416
of being seen as homo.
1222
00:55:23,500 --> 00:55:25,583
-You know what it mean? Homo?
-Ah, yeah. Yeah.
1223
00:55:26,041 --> 00:55:28,333
If your buttock touch them,
1224
00:55:29,208 --> 00:55:32,000
it means they have become a...
1225
00:55:32,083 --> 00:55:33,375
Homosexual.
1226
00:55:33,458 --> 00:55:37,125
Now I am going to teach you
how to use your buttocks
1227
00:55:37,208 --> 00:55:39,750
to intimidate ISIS.
1228
00:55:41,375 --> 00:55:44,291
If you want to win, you show some skin.
1229
00:55:46,291 --> 00:55:48,333
Now, try to touch me. Go!
1230
00:55:50,541 --> 00:55:52,500
Go, go, go.
1231
00:55:52,583 --> 00:55:54,458
I'll touch you.
I'll make you a homosexual.
1232
00:55:54,541 --> 00:55:55,750
You drop that gun, right now.
1233
00:55:55,833 --> 00:55:57,208
-USA! USA!
-Okay!
1234
00:55:57,291 --> 00:56:01,000
This is our guy. We have found he/him.
1235
00:56:10,333 --> 00:56:14,125
My name Colonel Erran Morad.
1236
00:56:14,208 --> 00:56:15,625
I was in the Mossad...
1237
00:56:15,708 --> 00:56:18,833
I mean I was not in the Mossad
for 15 years.
1238
00:56:18,916 --> 00:56:22,708
I have been in 14 terror attacks,
1239
00:56:22,791 --> 00:56:24,208
and I have started two.
1240
00:56:25,625 --> 00:56:26,666
Nice.
1241
00:56:27,416 --> 00:56:29,875
Is there racism in this country?
1242
00:56:30,541 --> 00:56:31,833
Unfortunately, yes.
1243
00:56:31,916 --> 00:56:33,416
Who is it mainly against?
1244
00:56:34,333 --> 00:56:35,958
Uh, believe it or not, me.
1245
00:56:36,041 --> 00:56:37,833
The Left doesn't want to hear the truth,
1246
00:56:38,541 --> 00:56:40,941
-and the truth is assimilating to them...
-Of course.
1247
00:56:40,958 --> 00:56:43,791
That... that we are
in fact the racists.
1248
00:56:43,875 --> 00:56:45,583
Yes. And who are you?
1249
00:56:45,666 --> 00:56:47,125
My name is Michael Aboud.
1250
00:56:47,208 --> 00:56:50,958
I'm the Republican Party
Chairman of El Paso County.
1251
00:56:51,041 --> 00:56:52,791
I'm the one that's
1252
00:56:52,875 --> 00:56:55,333
starting to breathe life
back into this party.
1253
00:56:55,416 --> 00:56:58,041
Uh, we've seen a lot of, uh,
1254
00:56:58,125 --> 00:57:00,500
the illegal immigrants coming through.
1255
00:57:00,583 --> 00:57:02,875
There's a huge amount of terrorism.
1256
00:57:02,958 --> 00:57:07,041
Uh, gangs are hanging people
from their overpasses, uh,
1257
00:57:07,125 --> 00:57:08,250
way too often.
1258
00:57:08,333 --> 00:57:10,750
You have millions of good Americans
1259
00:57:10,833 --> 00:57:12,333
who don't know what to do.
1260
00:57:12,416 --> 00:57:14,333
We got to show them they can do something.
1261
00:57:15,000 --> 00:57:16,291
And what did Biden do?
1262
00:57:17,208 --> 00:57:19,041
He fucked this country up.
1263
00:57:19,125 --> 00:57:20,416
Was he as bad as Hitler?
1264
00:57:21,666 --> 00:57:22,708
Worse.
1265
00:57:23,250 --> 00:57:24,833
We have people that won't assimilate
1266
00:57:24,916 --> 00:57:26,396
into our country and take our values.
1267
00:57:26,416 --> 00:57:28,958
Is there a genocide
against white conservatives?
1268
00:57:29,041 --> 00:57:30,041
Yes. Yeah.
1269
00:57:30,125 --> 00:57:32,416
You have to keep America America.
1270
00:57:32,500 --> 00:57:33,500
Mm.
1271
00:57:33,583 --> 00:57:36,250
You are the indigenous people
of this country,
1272
00:57:36,333 --> 00:57:40,083
you must keep this country
true to what it always was.
1273
00:57:40,166 --> 00:57:41,250
-Hell yeah, dude.
-Yes.
1274
00:57:41,333 --> 00:57:42,375
Do not be fooled.
1275
00:57:42,458 --> 00:57:44,333
These immigrants are not coming here
1276
00:57:44,416 --> 00:57:47,166
to mow your lawn, trim your trees,
1277
00:57:47,250 --> 00:57:49,250
rake your leaves, clean your house,
1278
00:57:49,333 --> 00:57:51,708
care for your babies, your parents,
1279
00:57:51,791 --> 00:57:54,083
bus your tables, wash your cars,
1280
00:57:54,166 --> 00:57:56,958
pick fruits and vegetables in the fields,
1281
00:57:57,041 --> 00:58:00,458
clean your hotel rooms,
schools, offices, hospitals,
1282
00:58:00,541 --> 00:58:02,541
paint your houses, build your fences,
1283
00:58:02,625 --> 00:58:04,375
operate slaughterhouses,
1284
00:58:04,458 --> 00:58:07,708
install your roofs, drywall,
plumbing or electric.
1285
00:58:08,500 --> 00:58:10,541
They are coming to kill you.
1286
00:58:12,500 --> 00:58:13,708
Hell yeah, man.
1287
00:58:14,208 --> 00:58:16,041
We are here to help you.
1288
00:58:16,125 --> 00:58:17,125
Thank you.
1289
00:58:17,208 --> 00:58:19,750
We're going to teach you about new weapons
1290
00:58:19,833 --> 00:58:21,708
coming out of Israel.
1291
00:58:21,791 --> 00:58:22,791
Are you interested?
1292
00:58:22,875 --> 00:58:24,166
-Fuck yeah, dude. I'm in.
-Yeah.
1293
00:58:24,250 --> 00:58:29,000
Okay, this is the height
of Israeli engineering.
1294
00:58:29,916 --> 00:58:32,541
It is the...
1295
00:58:32,625 --> 00:58:35,541
A way to protect the men,
1296
00:58:35,625 --> 00:58:38,916
the soldiers, from penis hot inside.
1297
00:58:39,000 --> 00:58:41,416
-What's that?
-Penis hot inside.
1298
00:58:42,291 --> 00:58:43,916
Do you want to be?
1299
00:58:45,250 --> 00:58:46,912
Fuck no. I'm not
getting fucked in the ass.
1300
00:58:46,916 --> 00:58:50,208
So, you better learn
how to use the...
1301
00:58:50,291 --> 00:58:52,416
-Hell yeah.
-Who want to try this on?
1302
00:58:52,500 --> 00:58:54,000
Take off your pants. Don't be shy.
1303
00:58:56,750 --> 00:58:57,791
Right up here.
1304
00:58:59,333 --> 00:59:00,375
Pants off.
1305
00:59:01,833 --> 00:59:03,291
Good, good, good.
1306
00:59:05,041 --> 00:59:08,750
I'm putting in live round.
You won't feel anything.
1307
00:59:09,291 --> 00:59:10,891
Do you want them to grab your schmeckel?
1308
00:59:10,958 --> 00:59:11,958
No.
1309
00:59:12,041 --> 00:59:13,625
So we have a fake one.
1310
00:59:13,708 --> 00:59:17,666
What they don't know
is the schmeckel is the firing mechanism.
1311
00:59:17,750 --> 00:59:21,083
You do it about 15 to 25 times.
1312
00:59:21,166 --> 00:59:23,375
The pressure increase and it will fire.
1313
00:59:23,458 --> 00:59:25,578
You want to pump yourself
or you want him to pump you?
1314
00:59:25,625 --> 00:59:27,875
I... I'm more of
a pump myself kind of guy.
1315
00:59:27,958 --> 00:59:31,750
Okay. So you take the...
1316
00:59:31,833 --> 00:59:32,875
Then...
1317
00:59:34,708 --> 00:59:36,375
Please explain to him.
1318
00:59:36,458 --> 00:59:37,708
Hold with one hand,
1319
00:59:37,791 --> 00:59:39,271
-pump with the other.
-Pump the other.
1320
00:59:39,291 --> 00:59:40,451
Just the...
1321
00:59:40,458 --> 00:59:42,329
-Just... Can I?
-Just the head.
1322
00:59:42,333 --> 00:59:43,704
-Just the head.
-Just pump that.
1323
00:59:52,750 --> 00:59:54,791
It's your lucky day.
1324
00:59:54,875 --> 00:59:58,958
We have visitor from
Immigration Control. ICE.
1325
00:59:59,041 --> 01:00:02,291
He will be here in about 45 minute.
1326
01:00:23,791 --> 01:00:25,833
I am Field Director Richard Edmonds
1327
01:00:25,916 --> 01:00:28,791
from California Immigration Control.
1328
01:00:28,875 --> 01:00:30,500
We need your help.
1329
01:00:30,583 --> 01:00:34,458
There is an extremely dangerous
LatinX drug lord on the loose
1330
01:00:34,541 --> 01:00:36,875
who goes by the name of Ali G.
1331
01:00:38,125 --> 01:00:43,125
His real name is Alejandro Gonzales.
1332
01:00:43,708 --> 01:00:47,833
And he's the head
of El Salvador's deadliest cartel,
1333
01:00:47,916 --> 01:00:50,625
Los Chicos del Callejón.
1334
01:00:50,708 --> 01:00:54,041
In English, the Backstreet Boys.
1335
01:00:54,125 --> 01:00:55,291
Okay.
1336
01:00:55,375 --> 01:00:59,125
Gonzales' pregnant girlfriend "Mi Julia,"
1337
01:00:59,208 --> 01:01:01,791
has gone into labor
just two miles from here.
1338
01:01:01,875 --> 01:01:04,208
Let's take a look at why I need you today.
1339
01:01:04,291 --> 01:01:05,954
Virgin, virgin, virgin.
1340
01:01:05,958 --> 01:01:06,912
You is a virgin.
1341
01:01:06,916 --> 01:01:11,250
I ain't a virgin!
I has boned 14,000 honeys.
1342
01:01:11,333 --> 01:01:13,333
Each one got a batty like a peach,
1343
01:01:13,416 --> 01:01:14,708
and with them ladies
1344
01:01:14,791 --> 01:01:17,500
I has had ten kids each.
1345
01:01:17,583 --> 01:01:19,166
That's right,
1346
01:01:19,250 --> 01:01:24,416
this monster has had 140,000 children.
1347
01:01:24,500 --> 01:01:25,541
Wow.
1348
01:01:25,625 --> 01:01:28,083
And now he is planning an invasion.
1349
01:01:28,166 --> 01:01:30,708
The moment Mia Julia's anchor baby
1350
01:01:30,791 --> 01:01:32,875
is born on American soil,
1351
01:01:32,958 --> 01:01:36,458
its 140,000 siblings
1352
01:01:36,541 --> 01:01:40,250
will become immediate American citizens.
1353
01:01:40,333 --> 01:01:43,750
Now listen
to what these patriots I met with in DC
1354
01:01:43,833 --> 01:01:45,625
want you to know about Gonzales.
1355
01:01:51,458 --> 01:01:53,625
This is Alejandro Gonzales,
1356
01:01:53,708 --> 01:01:55,375
head of Los Chicos del Callejon,
1357
01:01:55,958 --> 01:01:58,083
guilty of drug running, murder,
1358
01:01:58,166 --> 01:01:59,458
and cultural appropriation.
1359
01:01:59,541 --> 01:02:02,250
Gonzales has 140,000 children
1360
01:02:02,333 --> 01:02:03,666
which means that this one man
1361
01:02:03,750 --> 01:02:06,208
has a higher birth rate than Iceland.
1362
01:02:07,458 --> 01:02:09,083
In ten years' time,
1363
01:02:09,166 --> 01:02:12,500
Gonzales' family,
along with millions of others,
1364
01:02:12,583 --> 01:02:14,083
will have more members
1365
01:02:14,166 --> 01:02:17,791
than the United States Army,
Navy, Air Force, Marines,
1366
01:02:17,875 --> 01:02:20,291
Coast Guard, and Space Force combined.
1367
01:02:20,958 --> 01:02:23,750
In ten years' time,
the Gonzales family will consume
1368
01:02:23,833 --> 01:02:26,416
40% of the nation's rice and beans.
1369
01:02:26,500 --> 01:02:28,500
That's actual FBI data.
1370
01:02:29,708 --> 01:02:31,083
Wow.
1371
01:02:31,166 --> 01:02:33,166
Colonel Erran Morad
1372
01:02:33,250 --> 01:02:37,291
will pick two of you
to go undercover as ambulance workers,
1373
01:02:37,958 --> 01:02:41,666
pick up Mia Julia and transport her
1374
01:02:41,750 --> 01:02:44,541
and the unborn baby to Mexico,
1375
01:02:44,625 --> 01:02:48,958
so that she gives birth there. Understood?
1376
01:02:49,041 --> 01:02:50,041
Yes.
1377
01:02:50,125 --> 01:02:53,583
If successful, your president
will be shown this mission.
1378
01:02:53,666 --> 01:02:55,291
Good luck.
1379
01:02:58,833 --> 01:03:02,333
G, it's me. I'm still in San Diego.
1380
01:03:02,416 --> 01:03:04,333
They wouldn't let me fly.
I'm too pregnant.
1381
01:03:04,416 --> 01:03:07,500
I really feel like
the baby's coming, you know.
1382
01:03:07,583 --> 01:03:09,291
I need you to be here, please!
1383
01:03:09,375 --> 01:03:11,958
I'm sharing you
my location. Come quick.
1384
01:03:18,791 --> 01:03:20,000
-Yo.
-Yo.
1385
01:03:20,083 --> 01:03:21,583
You know, I said that I was like,
1386
01:03:21,666 --> 01:03:23,375
my girl, we kind of split up.
1387
01:03:23,458 --> 01:03:25,166
-The thing is...
-Right.
1388
01:03:25,250 --> 01:03:26,583
She's giving birth right now,
1389
01:03:26,666 --> 01:03:28,458
so maybe we delay the show a bit.
1390
01:03:28,541 --> 01:03:30,625
No, there's other fish in the sea, man.
1391
01:03:30,708 --> 01:03:33,000
There's other fish in the sea. Always.
1392
01:03:34,041 --> 01:03:37,291
Get changed, get ready.
Right. See you now.
1393
01:03:52,708 --> 01:03:54,875
What we will need to do
1394
01:03:54,958 --> 01:03:59,125
is we will need
to have an ambulance and to pick her up.
1395
01:03:59,208 --> 01:04:01,833
I need to just speak
to my handler from the Mossad...
1396
01:04:01,916 --> 01:04:04,291
I mean, not from the Mossad.
1397
01:04:04,375 --> 01:04:08,041
Mummy, can I borrow the falafel truck?
1398
01:04:08,125 --> 01:04:09,458
Hello, Erran.
1399
01:04:09,541 --> 01:04:12,208
Yes, you can have it.
1400
01:04:12,291 --> 01:04:14,000
You're not allowed to use it
1401
01:04:14,083 --> 01:04:17,458
to pick up hookers.
1402
01:04:20,000 --> 01:04:21,791
I have authorization
1403
01:04:21,875 --> 01:04:23,750
from my Mossad commander
1404
01:04:23,833 --> 01:04:26,916
to turn falafel truck into ambulance.
1405
01:04:56,416 --> 01:04:57,625
Uh, hey, real quick question.
1406
01:04:57,708 --> 01:05:00,583
Who has heard of our host, Ali G? Anybody?
1407
01:05:00,666 --> 01:05:02,496
Okay. Well, he's amazing.
You're going to love him.
1408
01:05:02,500 --> 01:05:04,416
He's a free speech champion
1409
01:05:04,500 --> 01:05:06,625
who was cruelly canceled
by the woke brigade.
1410
01:05:06,708 --> 01:05:10,333
All right, Ali, are you ready to make
the world a better place, my friend?
1411
01:05:10,416 --> 01:05:11,496
Yeah, for real.
1412
01:05:11,500 --> 01:05:14,500
Here he comes. Five, four, three...
1413
01:05:14,583 --> 01:05:15,958
Ali G!
1414
01:05:25,166 --> 01:05:30,208
Yeah. All right. Yes, back! For real!
1415
01:05:30,666 --> 01:05:32,666
Booyakasha! I is back!
1416
01:05:33,166 --> 01:05:36,750
I has got me show back, so suck it, HBO.
1417
01:05:36,833 --> 01:05:39,416
This is The Free Speech Show.
1418
01:05:40,583 --> 01:05:44,083
Yo, make some noise for me new DJ,
1419
01:05:44,166 --> 01:05:47,333
the QAnon Shaman!
1420
01:05:47,416 --> 01:05:50,666
Bo, bo, bo, bo, respect. Respect.
1421
01:05:50,750 --> 01:05:55,000
Now, you has all probably
heard about the woke nonsense
1422
01:05:55,083 --> 01:05:56,750
going around this country, innit?
1423
01:05:56,833 --> 01:05:58,153
In the country of South Africa...
1424
01:05:58,166 --> 01:05:59,537
"In the country of South Africa..."
1425
01:05:59,541 --> 01:06:01,458
I has seen this wokeness
1426
01:06:01,541 --> 01:06:03,708
and all the terrible things it has done,
1427
01:06:03,791 --> 01:06:06,166
as Black illegals have...
1428
01:06:06,958 --> 01:06:08,662
This ain't racialist, though, is it?
1429
01:06:08,666 --> 01:06:10,208
This ain't racialist, is it?
1430
01:06:10,291 --> 01:06:11,708
Just say the words.
1431
01:06:11,791 --> 01:06:14,375
That... That will be the future of the US
1432
01:06:15,083 --> 01:06:18,458
once woke has been allowed to grow
1433
01:06:18,541 --> 01:06:20,875
-beyond where it is now.
-"...beyond where it is now."
1434
01:06:20,958 --> 01:06:22,166
Booyakasha!
1435
01:06:23,541 --> 01:06:27,333
Don't go anywhere 'cause we
is gonna be right back, innit?
1436
01:06:27,416 --> 01:06:29,625
Westside!
1437
01:06:30,375 --> 01:06:32,458
Let go over the plan.
1438
01:06:32,541 --> 01:06:35,501
She needs to think that we are hospital
workers until we get to the border.
1439
01:06:35,583 --> 01:06:36,912
-Keep her calm.
-Oh, okay. Okay.
1440
01:06:36,916 --> 01:06:38,287
-Yeah.
-We're here to take care of you.
1441
01:06:38,291 --> 01:06:39,371
Not a big deal. Yeah.
1442
01:06:39,375 --> 01:06:41,333
-No big deal.
-"Hey, how are you?"
1443
01:06:41,416 --> 01:06:43,541
-Yeah, relax.
-Paramedics, just relax.
1444
01:06:44,958 --> 01:06:48,333
Yo, wicked Westside, welcome back.
1445
01:06:48,416 --> 01:06:51,458
Now we's got a competition
called Final Solution,
1446
01:06:51,541 --> 01:06:55,125
where I will be playing El Collaborator.
1447
01:06:56,625 --> 01:07:00,541
Now let's meet
our contestant who is a genuine patriot.
1448
01:07:00,625 --> 01:07:03,500
Please welcome Jason Hall, innit.
1449
01:07:07,083 --> 01:07:08,416
Yo, respect. Respect.
1450
01:07:10,541 --> 01:07:15,333
And recently released
from death row, George Santos.
1451
01:07:19,166 --> 01:07:20,416
-Yo.
-What's up?
1452
01:07:20,500 --> 01:07:21,746
Now, let's play Round Up.
1453
01:07:21,750 --> 01:07:24,083
You are both gonna get the chance to win
1454
01:07:24,166 --> 01:07:26,000
by rounding up undesirables,
1455
01:07:26,083 --> 01:07:29,916
progressives, hackademics, liberal judges,
1456
01:07:30,000 --> 01:07:32,500
pro-vaxxers, and illegals.
1457
01:07:32,583 --> 01:07:35,666
You's gonna have to round up
as many as you can,
1458
01:07:35,750 --> 01:07:38,833
and stick them in these showers.
1459
01:07:38,916 --> 01:07:41,500
Once you got them all in the showers,
1460
01:07:41,583 --> 01:07:43,833
you're gonna fill them with this gas.
1461
01:07:44,416 --> 01:07:47,541
On your marks, get set, go!
1462
01:07:50,250 --> 01:07:52,250
Get as many babies as you can.
1463
01:07:58,041 --> 01:07:59,666
We do this every day, okay?
1464
01:07:59,750 --> 01:08:01,458
Help your buddy. Here she is.
1465
01:08:02,166 --> 01:08:03,996
Gotcha.
It's okay. Come on. We got you.
1466
01:08:04,000 --> 01:08:04,833
Help her.
1467
01:08:04,916 --> 01:08:07,083
Come on,
let's get you up in there.
1468
01:08:07,166 --> 01:08:08,246
In here. Take her here.
1469
01:08:08,250 --> 01:08:09,329
I'm going to get up here
1470
01:08:09,333 --> 01:08:10,412
and I'm going to help you
get up. You ready?
1471
01:08:10,416 --> 01:08:11,958
One, two, three.
1472
01:08:12,041 --> 01:08:13,458
There you go.
1473
01:08:13,541 --> 01:08:15,250
We got your bed right there.
1474
01:08:15,333 --> 01:08:16,954
-You're in good hands.
-Oh, my God.
1475
01:08:16,958 --> 01:08:19,833
Close your doors!
Close your doors!
1476
01:08:19,916 --> 01:08:21,000
Can't find the door.
1477
01:08:24,291 --> 01:08:25,416
All right. Wicked.
1478
01:08:25,500 --> 01:08:27,083
What are the lessons you learned
1479
01:08:27,166 --> 01:08:29,791
for the big and brave
ICE agents out there?
1480
01:08:29,875 --> 01:08:31,454
-I set myself up for that one.
-Come on.
1481
01:08:31,458 --> 01:08:33,083
Take more babies, I guess.
1482
01:08:33,166 --> 01:08:34,583
All right! All right!
1483
01:08:34,666 --> 01:08:36,333
Come on, do the Elon.
1484
01:08:36,416 --> 01:08:38,750
When I say "free," you say "speech."
1485
01:08:38,833 --> 01:08:40,000
-Free.
-Speech!
1486
01:08:40,083 --> 01:08:41,204
-Free.
-Speech!
1487
01:08:41,208 --> 01:08:42,287
-Free.
-Speech!
1488
01:08:42,291 --> 01:08:43,458
-Free.
-Speech!
1489
01:08:43,541 --> 01:08:44,621
-Free.
-Speech!
1490
01:08:44,625 --> 01:08:47,791
Free speech! Free speech! Free speech!
1491
01:08:51,791 --> 01:08:53,583
Me started picking up subtle clues
1492
01:08:53,666 --> 01:08:57,791
that this show wasn't entirely
about peace and love.
1493
01:08:58,750 --> 01:09:00,750
Me realized that all these people
1494
01:09:00,833 --> 01:09:05,250
was happy to recreate
the Holocaust in America, innit?
1495
01:09:05,333 --> 01:09:08,416
Me was thinking,
where did me recognize that hand signal?
1496
01:09:09,875 --> 01:09:11,208
No, that's not it.
1497
01:09:11,916 --> 01:09:12,958
That's it.
1498
01:09:13,041 --> 01:09:16,375
Make sure that the contestants
use the Zyklon-B.
1499
01:09:17,125 --> 01:09:18,750
It sounds unethnical.
1500
01:09:18,833 --> 01:09:20,666
What are you thinking?
1501
01:09:20,750 --> 01:09:22,125
Me Julie was right.
1502
01:09:22,875 --> 01:09:23,916
Me is off.
1503
01:09:24,000 --> 01:09:25,204
What do you mean, "Me is off"?
1504
01:09:25,208 --> 01:09:26,291
I is off to be a dad.
1505
01:09:26,833 --> 01:09:28,912
You're going to be a father
the rest of your life any case.
1506
01:09:28,916 --> 01:09:30,750
No, no, no, no, no. I is out.
1507
01:09:31,791 --> 01:09:32,833
Ali?
1508
01:09:34,083 --> 01:09:35,083
Ali?
1509
01:09:35,166 --> 01:09:37,291
What's, uh... What's the problem now?
1510
01:09:37,375 --> 01:09:39,079
No, I don't like
the whole vibe here
1511
01:09:39,083 --> 01:09:40,162
and me don't wanna be there.
1512
01:09:40,166 --> 01:09:41,287
Let's try and sort it out.
1513
01:09:41,291 --> 01:09:43,041
No, no, no. I is into
increasing the peace,
1514
01:09:43,125 --> 01:09:44,625
you is into increasing the hate.
1515
01:09:45,916 --> 01:09:49,083
There's a thing with parody, and jokes,
1516
01:09:49,166 --> 01:09:50,916
and reality and life.
1517
01:09:51,458 --> 01:09:52,496
-You know?
-Yeah, well what is this
1518
01:09:52,500 --> 01:09:54,121
-meant to be, then?
-It's a serious message
1519
01:09:54,125 --> 01:09:55,565
about immigration, that's all it is.
1520
01:09:55,625 --> 01:09:57,541
Yeah, but me don't like that message.
1521
01:09:57,625 --> 01:09:59,250
That message is whack.
1522
01:09:59,333 --> 01:10:02,958
Me is into immigration.
Me is into mixing it up.
1523
01:10:03,041 --> 01:10:04,916
Black, white, brown, or Pakistani,
1524
01:10:05,000 --> 01:10:06,833
we all come from the same place, innit?
1525
01:10:06,916 --> 01:10:08,166
The punani!
1526
01:10:08,250 --> 01:10:10,291
I is off. I's gonna be a dad.
1527
01:10:15,666 --> 01:10:16,750
♪ Me go get Julie ♪
1528
01:10:16,833 --> 01:10:18,125
♪ Me go get Julie ♪♪
1529
01:10:18,625 --> 01:10:21,958
Me is on me way to watch
the most beautiful thing in the world.
1530
01:10:22,041 --> 01:10:25,708
Me honey shitting out a baby
out of her battyhole.
1531
01:10:25,791 --> 01:10:27,750
Oh, really? Very nice.
1532
01:10:28,333 --> 01:10:31,083
All right, she's got, uh...
her location is moving.
1533
01:10:31,166 --> 01:10:33,791
I think she's in an ambulance
or something.
1534
01:10:34,916 --> 01:10:36,208
But me just want to be there.
1535
01:10:36,291 --> 01:10:37,833
Okay, well, we'll find her.
1536
01:10:37,916 --> 01:10:40,041
I'm sure she's in very safe hands.
1537
01:10:40,125 --> 01:10:43,083
The baby's coming!
1538
01:10:43,166 --> 01:10:44,766
-Keep it in.
-We're almost there.
1539
01:10:44,791 --> 01:10:46,583
It's just your cervix expanding.
1540
01:10:46,666 --> 01:10:48,458
Hold it in. Keep your legs together.
1541
01:10:48,541 --> 01:10:50,333
I'm going to put my hand right here.
1542
01:10:50,416 --> 01:10:51,750
We're going to lock your legs.
1543
01:10:51,833 --> 01:10:54,083
It's like a locked door.
Baby ain't coming out.
1544
01:10:54,166 --> 01:10:56,375
I can't have her give birth
in this, uh, truck.
1545
01:10:56,458 --> 01:10:58,625
I've already got a B health rating.
1546
01:10:59,375 --> 01:11:01,458
We need to find a medical center fast!
1547
01:11:01,541 --> 01:11:02,875
Yallah! Let go!
1548
01:11:02,958 --> 01:11:05,666
We... We need to go faster
'cause me can't miss this.
1549
01:11:05,750 --> 01:11:06,954
Can we go through the red light?
1550
01:11:06,958 --> 01:11:08,541
-No. No.
-What? Why not?
1551
01:11:08,625 --> 01:11:13,333
'Cause I'm not going to jail for your...
for your, uh... for your mistake.
1552
01:11:19,291 --> 01:11:20,583
You guys go in there.
1553
01:11:21,166 --> 01:11:23,916
Put the lights on.
Go and get electricity, right?
1554
01:11:24,000 --> 01:11:25,375
Electricity, yes, sir.
1555
01:11:26,583 --> 01:11:28,375
Okay. Good luck with that.
1556
01:11:28,458 --> 01:11:29,500
Thank you.
1557
01:11:31,083 --> 01:11:32,791
Sean, get a move on!
1558
01:11:32,875 --> 01:11:35,250
I can't go anywhere.
We're in the middle of traffic.
1559
01:11:35,333 --> 01:11:38,083
Just put the siren on then.
The siren will work.
1560
01:11:38,166 --> 01:11:39,291
No.
1561
01:11:40,833 --> 01:11:42,208
Move aside!
1562
01:11:44,958 --> 01:11:46,583
All right, it'll crank now, guys.
1563
01:11:47,916 --> 01:11:49,329
There we go. See how quick and easy.
1564
01:11:49,333 --> 01:11:50,704
-There we go.
-All right.
1565
01:11:50,708 --> 01:11:52,375
It's on! Let go!
1566
01:11:52,458 --> 01:11:54,333
Okay, let's put these on.
1567
01:11:54,416 --> 01:11:55,416
Coming!
1568
01:11:55,500 --> 01:11:58,166
I'm not delivering a baby. You get to.
1569
01:11:58,250 --> 01:11:59,490
-Okay.
-I'll do it.
1570
01:11:59,500 --> 01:12:03,208
Okay, remember,
we've got to stop it landing on the soil.
1571
01:12:03,291 --> 01:12:04,666
It cannot touch the bed.
1572
01:12:04,750 --> 01:12:05,829
Let's get this. Let's go. Let's go.
1573
01:12:05,833 --> 01:12:07,162
Yes. Come on. We got it.
1574
01:12:07,166 --> 01:12:08,791
-Okay.
-All right, Julia.
1575
01:12:08,875 --> 01:12:09,954
It's coming out!
1576
01:12:09,958 --> 01:12:11,121
Hey, close the door.
Close the door.
1577
01:12:11,125 --> 01:12:13,125
Julia, I'm going to catch your baby.
1578
01:12:13,208 --> 01:12:16,833
It's coming out my ass!
1579
01:12:16,916 --> 01:12:18,083
-Okay.
-You go here.
1580
01:12:18,166 --> 01:12:19,541
Here, here, you stand here.
1581
01:12:19,625 --> 01:12:22,000
I need you to hold my hand.
1582
01:12:22,083 --> 01:12:23,833
-I got you. I got you.
-Okay.
1583
01:12:23,916 --> 01:12:25,162
-I got this one. You get that.
-Okay.
1584
01:12:25,166 --> 01:12:28,708
All right.
Now, when I say push, you're gonna push.
1585
01:12:28,791 --> 01:12:30,250
After...
1586
01:12:31,583 --> 01:12:33,143
Push!
1587
01:12:33,208 --> 01:12:34,625
Oh, yeah, I see his head coming.
1588
01:12:34,708 --> 01:12:35,912
Okay, you're going to have to try harder.
1589
01:12:35,916 --> 01:12:37,250
-Keep pushing.
-You cannot let it
1590
01:12:37,333 --> 01:12:39,083
touch the ground. All right?
1591
01:12:39,166 --> 01:12:40,166
How about you hold that?
1592
01:12:40,250 --> 01:12:41,958
-You keep your hands there. Okay.
-Yep.
1593
01:12:42,041 --> 01:12:43,916
Come on, baby.
1594
01:12:44,000 --> 01:12:45,560
Push!
1595
01:12:45,583 --> 01:12:46,625
It's all right. It's okay.
1596
01:12:46,708 --> 01:12:48,204
Okay. Don't worry, it's just molecules.
1597
01:12:48,208 --> 01:12:49,916
It's just molecules. Just molecules.
1598
01:12:50,000 --> 01:12:51,000
Remember the mission.
1599
01:12:51,083 --> 01:12:52,203
-Remember the mission.
-Okay.
1600
01:12:52,250 --> 01:12:55,541
One, two, three, push!
1601
01:12:55,625 --> 01:12:57,185
-Come on, little one, come on.
-Come on.
1602
01:12:57,208 --> 01:12:58,958
-I got you.
-Okay, we got you.
1603
01:12:59,041 --> 01:13:02,166
One, two, three, push!
1604
01:13:02,250 --> 01:13:04,166
I got it. I got it. Give me. Okay, okay.
1605
01:13:04,250 --> 01:13:06,000
Clamp! Clamp! Come, come, come.
1606
01:13:06,083 --> 01:13:08,166
Clamp. Okay.
1607
01:13:09,875 --> 01:13:11,541
-It's breathing.
-Oh, you hear that?
1608
01:13:11,625 --> 01:13:13,041
-You hear that?
-It's breathing!
1609
01:13:13,541 --> 01:13:15,333
Congratulations, Mama.
1610
01:13:15,416 --> 01:13:16,708
Congratulations!
1611
01:13:16,791 --> 01:13:20,583
It's a baby terrorist.
Just putting it in here.
1612
01:13:20,666 --> 01:13:22,416
Why are you putting it in a bag?
1613
01:13:22,500 --> 01:13:24,329
-We got to keep germs away from this baby.
-It's insulated.
1614
01:13:24,333 --> 01:13:26,912
-We cannot just put it on the ground.
-It's okay. The baby is fine.
1615
01:13:26,916 --> 01:13:29,125
No, I need my baby. Give me my baby!
1616
01:13:29,208 --> 01:13:30,412
I'm just going to take the baby.
1617
01:13:30,416 --> 01:13:32,454
-What the fuck?
-Hey, hey, come back in here!
1618
01:13:32,458 --> 01:13:34,298
I'm going to take the baby
to check the vitals.
1619
01:13:34,333 --> 01:13:35,412
-Yeah.
-And we'll bring it
1620
01:13:35,416 --> 01:13:36,791
right back. Let me take the baby.
1621
01:13:36,875 --> 01:13:39,083
Who are you? You ain't doctors!
1622
01:13:39,166 --> 01:13:40,871
-You just get cleaned up here.
-You ain't doctors!
1623
01:13:40,875 --> 01:13:41,995
Yes, we are doctors.
1624
01:13:42,000 --> 01:13:42,996
-There, there, there.
-You're not real doctors...
1625
01:13:43,000 --> 01:13:44,500
Ow! What are you doing?
1626
01:13:44,583 --> 01:13:45,750
And we gotta do
1627
01:13:45,833 --> 01:13:47,412
the little prick test
to make sure everything's good. Okay?
1628
01:13:47,416 --> 01:13:48,746
We're going
to clear the baby. Okay.
1629
01:13:48,750 --> 01:13:49,916
-Got it?
-We got it. Okay.
1630
01:13:50,000 --> 01:13:51,000
Okay, let's go.
1631
01:13:51,083 --> 01:13:52,375
Let's go, let's go, let's go.
1632
01:13:52,458 --> 01:13:53,958
Okay, great, great.
1633
01:13:54,916 --> 01:13:56,291
Okay, hold on. Hold on, please.
1634
01:13:56,375 --> 01:13:57,791
I should've let you catch the baby.
1635
01:13:57,875 --> 01:13:59,166
No.
1636
01:13:59,250 --> 01:14:00,787
I wasn't going to do it no matter what.
1637
01:14:00,791 --> 01:14:01,958
Everything is good.
1638
01:14:02,041 --> 01:14:04,458
Wait, we need to wash, wipe his face down.
1639
01:14:04,541 --> 01:14:06,121
We're going to wipe everything down.
1640
01:14:06,125 --> 01:14:07,537
-There's a sink down there.
-Thank you.
1641
01:14:07,541 --> 01:14:09,500
The mission is not over.
1642
01:14:09,583 --> 01:14:12,250
You need to get the baby to
Mexico by any means necessary.
1643
01:14:12,333 --> 01:14:13,625
Okay. Okay.
1644
01:14:13,708 --> 01:14:14,954
I'm going to send coordinates
1645
01:14:14,958 --> 01:14:17,208
where a drone will pick up that little
1646
01:14:17,291 --> 01:14:19,500
cultural appropriating terrorist.
1647
01:14:19,583 --> 01:14:20,708
Understood?
1648
01:14:20,791 --> 01:14:22,625
We're going to take the baby to Mexico.
1649
01:14:22,708 --> 01:14:23,916
-Okay?
-Yeah.
1650
01:14:24,000 --> 01:14:27,250
What a mess. Never had that before.
1651
01:14:27,333 --> 01:14:28,893
Yeah. Being shit on? Yeah.
1652
01:14:29,916 --> 01:14:31,416
-Okay, let's get going.
-All right.
1653
01:14:37,416 --> 01:14:38,708
Thank you, my brother.
1654
01:14:38,791 --> 01:14:41,333
I'm gonna give you a tip. Here, take that.
1655
01:14:43,041 --> 01:14:44,579
-You're giving me fake 20's.
-Thank you, brother.
1656
01:14:44,583 --> 01:14:46,708
-Get out of the car.
-Ten stars out of five, innit.
1657
01:14:46,791 --> 01:14:50,416
Pete Jive ass motherfucker. Damn.
1658
01:14:54,166 --> 01:14:55,333
Me Julie?
1659
01:14:56,125 --> 01:14:58,416
Me Julie? Julie!
1660
01:14:59,291 --> 01:15:02,625
Me is here. Me is here to see
the baby come out.
1661
01:15:03,166 --> 01:15:05,208
Me Julie?
1662
01:15:06,083 --> 01:15:09,541
Babes, wake up. We's gonna have a baby.
1663
01:15:10,083 --> 01:15:11,166
Babes.
1664
01:15:12,666 --> 01:15:14,291
Babes, I'm so sorry.
1665
01:15:14,375 --> 01:15:15,958
You came.
1666
01:15:16,041 --> 01:15:17,333
Of course 'cause me love you.
1667
01:15:18,333 --> 01:15:20,833
What, is you doing OnlyFans again?
1668
01:15:20,916 --> 01:15:22,916
-No.
-What?
1669
01:15:23,000 --> 01:15:25,375
My baby. The baby's gone.
1670
01:15:25,458 --> 01:15:27,166
-What?
-There was three men.
1671
01:15:27,250 --> 01:15:28,291
What... What three men?
1672
01:15:29,041 --> 01:15:31,125
There was like, uh, in a fake ambulance.
1673
01:15:31,208 --> 01:15:32,458
They was fake doctors.
1674
01:15:32,541 --> 01:15:35,291
They've got the baby.
You've got to go get the baby.
1675
01:15:38,750 --> 01:15:40,041
Don't worry, babes.
1676
01:15:40,791 --> 01:15:42,750
I is gonna get our baby back.
1677
01:15:44,708 --> 01:15:46,333
Even if it's a girl.
1678
01:15:48,458 --> 01:15:50,000
I love you.
1679
01:15:54,625 --> 01:15:56,083
Give me baby back!
1680
01:15:57,708 --> 01:15:59,125
Give me baby back!
1681
01:16:07,041 --> 01:16:08,912
-Let's go!
-We're doing this for America.
1682
01:16:10,291 --> 01:16:11,491
Air support is coming.
1683
01:16:14,208 --> 01:16:15,666
Okay, here's the plan.
1684
01:16:15,750 --> 01:16:17,625
We're going to put the baby in the drone
1685
01:16:17,708 --> 01:16:19,500
and fly it to Mexico.
1686
01:16:24,083 --> 01:16:25,416
It's coming down.
1687
01:16:26,250 --> 01:16:28,250
Okay, you, soldier.
1688
01:16:29,291 --> 01:16:31,541
Put the baby in. Hook it in.
1689
01:16:31,625 --> 01:16:33,750
-Phil, grab it.
-Hook it in.
1690
01:16:35,916 --> 01:16:37,916
Grab the top. Grab the top. Here.
1691
01:16:38,000 --> 01:16:41,375
Okay, put the baby in. Close it up.
1692
01:16:42,125 --> 01:16:44,625
I am engine flying. Okay, let's go!
1693
01:16:45,041 --> 01:16:46,791
-Mexi-go!
-Mexi-go!
1694
01:16:46,875 --> 01:16:48,250
-Let's go!
-We did it!
1695
01:16:48,333 --> 01:16:49,750
We saved America.
1696
01:16:50,750 --> 01:16:54,000
-Great job. Fantastic.
-Thanks. Thank you. We're good.
1697
01:16:54,083 --> 01:16:56,708
Okay, keep
an eye on for that road and that road.
1698
01:16:57,833 --> 01:16:59,583
Oh, there's someone coming right here.
1699
01:16:59,666 --> 01:17:00,916
Okay, have a look. Who is it?
1700
01:17:01,583 --> 01:17:02,916
Give me my baby!
1701
01:17:03,000 --> 01:17:04,500
It's, uh,
1702
01:17:04,583 --> 01:17:06,246
-Gonzales. It's Gonzales.
-Gonzales.
1703
01:17:06,250 --> 01:17:07,930
Okay, get the...
1704
01:17:07,958 --> 01:17:10,158
Get your ass...
Get your ass down the road.
1705
01:17:10,375 --> 01:17:12,083
You give me my baby back now!
1706
01:17:12,166 --> 01:17:13,875
Hold on to that. Keep an eye on that.
1707
01:17:13,958 --> 01:17:15,041
Try to get it moving.
1708
01:17:15,125 --> 01:17:17,375
Okay.
1709
01:17:17,458 --> 01:17:20,041
Okay. Let go.
1710
01:17:20,125 --> 01:17:21,287
Come on.
1711
01:17:21,291 --> 01:17:22,496
I'm aimed right?
I'm aimed right?
1712
01:17:22,500 --> 01:17:23,746
He's aiming you. He's aiming you.
1713
01:17:23,750 --> 01:17:25,430
Yeah, aim out.
Go down. Stay there.
1714
01:17:25,666 --> 01:17:27,041
-What's it say?
-Low power.
1715
01:17:27,125 --> 01:17:28,565
Low power? That means when you land,
1716
01:17:28,583 --> 01:17:30,041
it will become an American citizen.
1717
01:17:30,125 --> 01:17:33,083
Okay, you have to release the baby.
1718
01:17:33,833 --> 01:17:34,958
Release the baby.
1719
01:17:36,458 --> 01:17:39,833
German Michael,
save the white race and kill the baby.
1720
01:17:40,833 --> 01:17:42,083
Drop the baby.
1721
01:17:42,166 --> 01:17:44,486
-Hey, no, no! Don't drop him!
-Yeah, drop the baby.
1722
01:17:44,708 --> 01:17:46,125
-Drop the baby.
-How?
1723
01:17:46,208 --> 01:17:48,208
-Don't know. Release.
-Oh, confirm.
1724
01:17:48,250 --> 01:17:50,041
That not your baby!
1725
01:17:50,125 --> 01:17:51,166
Confirm. Confirm.
1726
01:17:54,958 --> 01:17:56,916
Hey! That's my baby!
1727
01:18:18,291 --> 01:18:20,041
And that is your story.
1728
01:18:20,958 --> 01:18:22,625
It's how you got to be here, innit?
1729
01:18:24,125 --> 01:18:28,000
Anyway, listen up,
this guy from ICE turns up.
1730
01:18:28,083 --> 01:18:29,403
What's going on, patriots?
1731
01:18:29,833 --> 01:18:31,791
Just in time. He's got him.
1732
01:18:31,875 --> 01:18:34,625
And he tells them
to kill me and you.
1733
01:18:34,708 --> 01:18:37,791
Because them thought
me was a Latino gangsta.
1734
01:18:38,375 --> 01:18:42,333
We know who you are and you're not
going to have a baby in America.
1735
01:18:42,416 --> 01:18:45,875
We know, Alejandro...
Alejandro Gonzales. We know who you are.
1736
01:18:45,958 --> 01:18:47,333
What? Alejandro, what?
1737
01:18:47,416 --> 01:18:50,083
We know how
many children you have. Tell him.
1738
01:18:50,166 --> 01:18:51,500
You got 140,000.
1739
01:18:51,583 --> 01:18:53,791
Then your mum turned up, innit.
1740
01:18:53,875 --> 01:18:55,916
There's no time for you
to be walking. No, no, no.
1741
01:18:56,000 --> 01:18:57,500
Go back, Me Julie.
1742
01:18:57,583 --> 01:19:00,333
You got to stay here.
You got to stay here.
1743
01:19:00,416 --> 01:19:01,541
Give me the baby.
1744
01:19:01,625 --> 01:19:05,625
Never. You is gonna have
to kill me first, innit.
1745
01:19:05,708 --> 01:19:07,541
Okay, let's kill him.
1746
01:19:07,625 --> 01:19:09,750
-No! No, no, no.
-Ready? Okay.
1747
01:19:12,041 --> 01:19:14,875
Please.
Please stop. Please don't kill him.
1748
01:19:15,416 --> 01:19:18,375
They was just
about to pop a cap from their ass
1749
01:19:18,458 --> 01:19:19,875
and kill us both.
1750
01:19:19,958 --> 01:19:21,833
Kill this cultural appropriator!
1751
01:19:21,916 --> 01:19:24,791
Wait, wait.
Me know that voice. Me know you.
1752
01:19:24,875 --> 01:19:26,291
Yo, me know him.
1753
01:19:26,375 --> 01:19:27,791
Me boned him.
1754
01:19:28,291 --> 01:19:30,791
Me put me dong in him battycrease.
1755
01:19:30,875 --> 01:19:32,791
Luckily, me had the evidence.
1756
01:19:32,875 --> 01:19:34,715
He say it's footage
of them having sex.
1757
01:19:34,791 --> 01:19:36,666
Oh, no, I don't want to see that.
1758
01:19:37,500 --> 01:19:38,875
Okay, unzip him.
1759
01:19:41,083 --> 01:19:42,803
-Oh.
-Oh, look, Antifa.
1760
01:19:44,583 --> 01:19:47,583
Okay, I'd like to apologize.
It was an honest mistake.
1761
01:19:49,916 --> 01:19:52,791
But the bomboclaat
professor wouldn't give up.
1762
01:19:57,125 --> 01:19:59,666
Luckily, your mum was well clever.
1763
01:20:05,500 --> 01:20:09,083
Then them tried to kill Nira.
1764
01:20:09,166 --> 01:20:11,583
Here, I'm gonna
get nice and close. Let me know when.
1765
01:20:11,666 --> 01:20:12,916
Stop, stop, stop.
1766
01:20:13,000 --> 01:20:14,541
You need to move to the right.
1767
01:20:14,625 --> 01:20:16,583
What is you doing?
1768
01:20:16,666 --> 01:20:19,166
-There you go.
-Yo, just stop it!
1769
01:20:19,250 --> 01:20:22,250
Just 'cause somebody
don't have the same political views as you
1770
01:20:22,333 --> 01:20:23,958
don't mean you has to kill him.
1771
01:20:24,041 --> 01:20:25,601
Yes, it is. Eliminate him.
1772
01:20:26,708 --> 01:20:30,833
We is all the same
under our masks. Me, you, him.
1773
01:20:30,916 --> 01:20:32,708
I'm not. I'm a body double.
1774
01:20:32,791 --> 01:20:37,041
Shut up. Please stop wanking, mate.
1775
01:20:37,833 --> 01:20:40,416
A dong is for creating life,
1776
01:20:41,208 --> 01:20:42,541
not taking it away.
1777
01:20:44,708 --> 01:20:46,750
Let's do it for the next generation.
1778
01:20:48,125 --> 01:20:49,291
For me baby.
1779
01:20:50,375 --> 01:20:51,666
And for me wife.
1780
01:20:54,083 --> 01:20:55,458
My wife!
1781
01:20:57,166 --> 01:20:59,208
Love that film. Still holds up.
1782
01:20:59,750 --> 01:21:00,750
What?
1783
01:21:00,833 --> 01:21:03,166
So the lesson is, little man,
1784
01:21:03,250 --> 01:21:05,166
don't tell lies,
1785
01:21:05,250 --> 01:21:08,250
'cause lies can get people killed, innit.
1786
01:21:08,333 --> 01:21:09,541
Me Julie?
1787
01:21:10,125 --> 01:21:11,291
What?
1788
01:21:11,666 --> 01:21:13,125
Will you wife me?
1789
01:21:13,875 --> 01:21:16,000
Of course I will, you bell end.
1790
01:21:16,083 --> 01:21:17,746
Now he's ruining his life getting married.
1791
01:21:17,750 --> 01:21:19,125
That's a terrible thing to do.
1792
01:21:19,208 --> 01:21:22,916
Anyway,
me got in touch with me dad, Rocky Atkins.
1793
01:21:23,666 --> 01:21:26,375
Him turns out to be an Elvis impersonator.
1794
01:21:27,666 --> 01:21:29,208
It seems that me inherited
1795
01:21:29,291 --> 01:21:31,708
the cultural appropriating gene, innit.
1796
01:21:31,791 --> 01:21:34,583
Here, can you take ASAP Rocky Atkins Jr.?
1797
01:21:34,666 --> 01:21:35,791
Come on, big boy.
1798
01:21:36,916 --> 01:21:38,416
You is family, innit.
1799
01:21:42,458 --> 01:21:45,625
I am now going to ask do you,
1800
01:21:46,541 --> 01:21:50,166
Ali McG, a proud Scottish man,
1801
01:21:50,250 --> 01:21:51,958
take before Jah...
1802
01:21:52,875 --> 01:21:54,625
I love you.
1803
01:21:54,708 --> 01:21:56,958
...Julie Kate Middleton Harris
1804
01:21:57,583 --> 01:22:00,083
to be your lawful wedded partner
1805
01:22:00,166 --> 01:22:02,958
till death doth you part?
1806
01:22:03,041 --> 01:22:04,583
What was the question?
1807
01:22:05,500 --> 01:22:06,541
Do you...
1808
01:22:06,625 --> 01:22:08,250
Too loud. Too loud. 'Cause it's...
1809
01:22:08,333 --> 01:22:09,933
You's gotta whisper because...
1810
01:22:09,958 --> 01:22:11,291
Oh, oh.
1811
01:22:11,375 --> 01:22:13,333
Do you, Ali McG,
1812
01:22:13,416 --> 01:22:17,791
promise to love her very truly?
1813
01:22:18,666 --> 01:22:20,541
Me, Ali McG,
1814
01:22:20,625 --> 01:22:23,625
promise to love you very truly.
1815
01:22:28,958 --> 01:22:31,500
Julie Kate Middleton Harris,
1816
01:22:31,583 --> 01:22:34,333
AKA FootBitch44.
1817
01:22:36,791 --> 01:22:40,875
I now declare you man and wife.
1818
01:22:40,958 --> 01:22:42,958
You may bone the bride.
1819
01:22:43,625 --> 01:22:45,875
We was married
and we was happy, innit.
1820
01:22:46,250 --> 01:22:47,333
And guess what?
1821
01:22:47,416 --> 01:22:49,208
Me got a hit new telly show,
1822
01:22:49,291 --> 01:22:52,291
where me could finally be
me authentical self.
1823
01:22:57,708 --> 01:22:59,083
♪ Come on ♪
1824
01:22:59,166 --> 01:23:00,333
♪ Come on ♪
1825
01:23:03,666 --> 01:23:07,750
I is here with
none other than my main man,
1826
01:23:07,875 --> 01:23:12,041
Ambassador Khazar Ibrahim.
1827
01:23:12,125 --> 01:23:16,291
Him from a country called Azerbaijan.
1828
01:23:16,375 --> 01:23:18,250
Lot of people have heard about it.
1829
01:23:18,333 --> 01:23:20,291
Has you met Harry Potter?
1830
01:23:20,375 --> 01:23:23,125
Uh, no, I didn't meet Harry Potter.
1831
01:23:23,208 --> 01:23:24,291
But did them film
1832
01:23:24,375 --> 01:23:28,208
Harry Potter and the Prisoner
of Azerbaijan in your country?
1833
01:23:28,291 --> 01:23:30,333
No. No, absolutely not.
1834
01:23:30,416 --> 01:23:33,000
So, these things, uh, do not happen.
1835
01:23:34,666 --> 01:23:38,250
And I bet you was wondering
what happened to Dr. Nira.
1836
01:23:38,333 --> 01:23:40,250
Him was canceled for boning me
1837
01:23:40,333 --> 01:23:42,500
without something called "consent."
1838
01:23:42,958 --> 01:23:44,875
Me'll tell you more
about that in the morning
1839
01:23:44,958 --> 01:23:46,916
before you suck on your mom's swingers.
1840
01:23:48,583 --> 01:23:51,000
Aw. Time to sleep, little bubba.
1841
01:23:51,083 --> 01:23:54,958
Don't worry, we's gonna be next door
making you a little sister.
1842
01:23:58,708 --> 01:23:59,875
Night, night.
1843
01:24:01,041 --> 01:24:02,333
♪ Yo, one-two, one-two ♪
1844
01:24:02,416 --> 01:24:03,541
♪ This be Ali G ♪
1845
01:24:04,083 --> 01:24:06,000
♪ Listen up, ya bomboclaats ♪
1846
01:24:06,666 --> 01:24:09,583
♪ Put me dong in your punani ♪
1847
01:24:09,666 --> 01:24:13,041
♪ Me flip you round
Battyhole shiny ♪
1848
01:24:13,125 --> 01:24:16,500
♪ We was once two
Now we gonna be three ♪
1849
01:24:16,583 --> 01:24:19,833
♪ Come, my Julie
Let's make a family ♪
1850
01:24:19,916 --> 01:24:22,833
♪ Come, my Julie
Let's make a family ♪
1851
01:24:22,916 --> 01:24:24,625
♪ My Julie... ♪
1852
01:24:24,708 --> 01:24:26,625
We would have a joining area here
1853
01:24:26,708 --> 01:24:28,000
we would hide with a sheet,
1854
01:24:28,083 --> 01:24:29,458
so she could just get into it.
1855
01:24:29,541 --> 01:24:31,166
I'm ready for my close-up.
1856
01:24:31,250 --> 01:24:32,650
One, two, it's coming, it's coming.
1857
01:24:32,708 --> 01:24:34,287
And then a big 12 pound...
1858
01:24:34,291 --> 01:24:35,537
Yeah. Does this move?
1859
01:24:35,541 --> 01:24:36,666
Would this one move?
1860
01:24:36,750 --> 01:24:37,750
That one doesn't.
1861
01:24:37,833 --> 01:24:39,583
This one behind you is its double...
1862
01:24:41,666 --> 01:24:43,458
Yo, there's a rumble in the jungle.
1863
01:24:43,541 --> 01:24:45,083
Good. Good, soldier.
1864
01:24:45,166 --> 01:24:47,791
If you want him to leave,
please join with me.
1865
01:24:47,875 --> 01:24:49,625
What a moron.
1866
01:24:49,708 --> 01:24:50,916
Fuck you.
1867
01:24:51,000 --> 01:24:52,041
Thanks for having me, son.
1868
01:24:52,125 --> 01:24:53,125
Bye-bye.
1869
01:24:53,916 --> 01:24:55,291
I don't know if that was good.
1870
01:24:55,375 --> 01:24:56,416
That was great.
1871
01:24:56,500 --> 01:25:00,125
♪ Come, my Julie
Let's make a family ♪
1872
01:25:00,208 --> 01:25:03,333
♪ Come, my Julie
Let's make a family ♪
1873
01:25:03,416 --> 01:25:06,041
♪ My sweet Julie ♪
1874
01:25:07,000 --> 01:25:08,708
♪ Time to make a mini G ♪
1875
01:25:08,791 --> 01:25:10,291
♪ Two-foot, big-dick VIP ♪
1876
01:25:10,375 --> 01:25:11,958
♪ Sippin' on milk and Hennessy ♪
1877
01:25:12,041 --> 01:25:13,579
♪ He be smokin' crack
by the age of three ♪
1878
01:25:13,583 --> 01:25:14,996
♪ Don't need to buy him
no Lego bricks ♪
1879
01:25:15,000 --> 01:25:16,833
♪ He be pimpin' hoes
by the age of six ♪
1880
01:25:16,916 --> 01:25:18,625
♪ By the age of nine
He'll be doin' time ♪
1881
01:25:18,708 --> 01:25:21,083
♪ On death row for a violent crime
Respect ♪
1882
01:25:21,166 --> 01:25:22,287
♪ Out come the little person ♪
1883
01:25:22,291 --> 01:25:23,625
♪ Mash up your beef curtains ♪
1884
01:25:24,208 --> 01:25:25,954
♪ Swingers gonna sag
Like potatoes in a bin bag ♪
1885
01:25:25,958 --> 01:25:27,371
♪ We'll get a plastic surgeon
Thanks ♪
1886
01:25:27,375 --> 01:25:28,535
♪ Nine months was worth it ♪
1887
01:25:28,541 --> 01:25:30,041
♪ Came out lookin' perfect ♪
1888
01:25:30,125 --> 01:25:32,121
♪ Hold on, him got small dick
So you did bone Rick ♪
1889
01:25:32,125 --> 01:25:33,750
♪ It's yours
Is you certain? ♪
1890
01:25:33,833 --> 01:25:36,875
♪ Put me dong in your punani ♪
1891
01:25:36,958 --> 01:25:40,208
♪ Me flip you round
Battyhole shiny ♪
1892
01:25:40,291 --> 01:25:43,708
♪ We was once two
Now we gonna be three ♪
1893
01:25:43,791 --> 01:25:47,000
♪ Come, my Julie
Let's make a family ♪
1894
01:25:47,083 --> 01:25:49,750
♪ Come, my Julie
Let's make a family ♪
1895
01:25:49,833 --> 01:25:53,375
♪ My sweet Julie ♪♪
1896
01:25:57,916 --> 01:25:59,125
Yo, me is your son.
1897
01:25:59,208 --> 01:26:00,416
Me love you. Me forgive you.
1898
01:26:01,791 --> 01:26:03,208
What the fuck?
1899
01:26:03,291 --> 01:26:04,625
Two peas in an iPod.
1900
01:26:04,708 --> 01:26:05,708
Yo, is that real?
1901
01:26:05,791 --> 01:26:06,996
That's real. Me had it done.
1902
01:26:07,000 --> 01:26:08,000
Me love you.
1903
01:26:08,083 --> 01:26:09,208
Is you Rihanna?
1904
01:26:09,916 --> 01:26:11,125
So you is me stepmom.
1905
01:26:11,208 --> 01:26:13,416
Me got this tat done for you.
1906
01:26:14,500 --> 01:26:17,666
You told me that you is me dad.
1907
01:26:17,750 --> 01:26:20,583
"I can't wait to meet you, ASAP, Rocky."
1908
01:26:21,333 --> 01:26:24,291
Bro, it says,
"I can't wait to meet you, ASAP."
1909
01:26:24,375 --> 01:26:25,500
As soon as possible.
1910
01:26:25,583 --> 01:26:28,041
And his name is Rocky. Look, bro.
1911
01:26:29,291 --> 01:26:31,375
This is Ali G. This is the Ali G.
1912
01:26:31,458 --> 01:26:32,958
Yo. I grew up on your shit, bro.
1913
01:26:33,041 --> 01:26:34,166
Booyakasha.
1914
01:26:34,250 --> 01:26:35,916
What the fuck are you doing in my trailer
1915
01:26:36,000 --> 01:26:37,625
talking about you my fucking son?
1916
01:26:37,708 --> 01:26:40,125
-Booyakasha.
-His hair looks a lot like yours.
1917
01:26:40,625 --> 01:26:42,583
What the fuck does
that even mean? Like, what...
1918
01:26:42,666 --> 01:26:45,000
Yeah. Yeah, it's suspicious.
1919
01:26:45,083 --> 01:26:48,666
How is we
not related if we got similar hair?
1920
01:26:48,750 --> 01:26:50,625
Out of respect for me pops...
1921
01:26:50,708 --> 01:26:52,875
Stop fucking calling me your dad, bro.
1922
01:26:52,958 --> 01:26:54,041
If me was doing homework
1923
01:26:54,125 --> 01:26:55,412
and you was coming out of the shower,
1924
01:26:55,416 --> 01:26:56,875
they ain't gonna be no bonin'.
1925
01:26:56,958 --> 01:26:58,041
Me has watched
1926
01:26:58,125 --> 01:27:00,333
a lot of documentaries
on the stepmom thing.
1927
01:27:00,416 --> 01:27:01,666
I'm not your pops, bro.
1928
01:27:01,750 --> 01:27:03,875
It's scientifically impossible.
1929
01:27:03,958 --> 01:27:05,416
Now get the fuck out my trailer.
1930
01:27:07,208 --> 01:27:09,416
Please do not speak
to my stepson like that.
1931
01:27:13,791 --> 01:27:16,125
♪ Ali, Ali, Ali, Ali, Ali ♪
1932
01:27:16,666 --> 01:27:19,083
♪ Ali, Ali, Ali, Ali, Ali ♪
1933
01:27:19,166 --> 01:27:21,625
♪ Ali
Ali, Ali G ♪
1934
01:27:22,625 --> 01:27:23,666
♪ Here we go ♪
1935
01:27:23,750 --> 01:27:26,583
♪ We got to stop the killing
We got to stop the moaning ♪
1936
01:27:26,666 --> 01:27:29,333
♪ Why is we fighting
When we all could be boning? ♪
1937
01:27:29,416 --> 01:27:32,333
♪ Respect to the old folk
Respect to the kids ♪
1938
01:27:32,416 --> 01:27:35,291
♪ Respect to the Hindus
Respect to the Yids ♪
1939
01:27:35,375 --> 01:27:38,125
♪ Black, white, brown
Yellow or Pakistani ♪
1940
01:27:38,208 --> 01:27:40,750
♪ Ya from the same place
Ya mama punani ♪
1941
01:27:40,833 --> 01:27:43,333
♪ Stop the hate
Keep it real! ♪
1942
01:27:43,416 --> 01:27:46,041
♪ Increase the love
One love! ♪
1943
01:27:46,125 --> 01:27:48,333
♪ You got to love
your mother ♪
1944
01:27:48,416 --> 01:27:50,916
♪ Even though
she not Rihanna ♪
1945
01:27:51,541 --> 01:27:54,208
♪ Oh ♪
1946
01:27:54,291 --> 01:27:56,666
♪ Ali, Ali, Ali, Ali, Ali ♪
1947
01:27:57,208 --> 01:27:59,583
♪ Ali, Ali, Ali, Ali, Ali ♪
1948
01:27:59,666 --> 01:28:02,250
♪ Ali
Ali, Ali G ♪
1949
01:28:03,583 --> 01:28:05,875
♪ Jah ♪
1950
01:28:06,500 --> 01:28:08,791
♪ Come save the nations ♪
1951
01:28:09,375 --> 01:28:11,416
♪ No more confrontations ♪
1952
01:28:11,875 --> 01:28:14,250
♪ We need an Ali celebration ♪
1953
01:28:15,166 --> 01:28:17,958
♪ Jah
Jah! ♪
1954
01:28:18,041 --> 01:28:20,708
♪ Come save the nations
Come down! ♪
1955
01:28:20,791 --> 01:28:22,708
♪ No more confrontations ♪
1956
01:28:22,791 --> 01:28:23,791
♪ We need you! ♪
1957
01:28:23,875 --> 01:28:25,416
♪ We need an Ali celebration ♪
1958
01:28:25,500 --> 01:28:27,125
♪ Increase the peace! ♪
1959
01:28:27,208 --> 01:28:29,875
♪ Save us from
all the bomboclaats ♪
1960
01:28:29,958 --> 01:28:32,083
♪ Booyakasha! ♪♪