1 00:00:21,521 --> 00:00:23,106 - I know what you're thinking. 2 00:00:23,148 --> 00:00:24,774 "This fucking guy," right? 3 00:00:24,816 --> 00:00:26,484 "Rich prick. 4 00:00:26,526 --> 00:00:28,737 "I mean, damn, that kimono was made to be worn 5 00:00:28,778 --> 00:00:30,155 "for the highest-level state functions 6 00:00:30,196 --> 00:00:31,448 "of the emperor of Japan, 7 00:00:31,489 --> 00:00:34,200 and he's just loungin' around in that shit." 8 00:00:34,242 --> 00:00:36,161 Oh, look at that. 9 00:00:36,202 --> 00:00:38,830 Spilled some osso buco on it. 10 00:00:38,872 --> 00:00:41,833 Oh, well. 11 00:00:41,875 --> 00:00:45,503 But let me be clear about this. 12 00:00:45,545 --> 00:00:49,841 No one just hands you a royal kimono. 13 00:00:49,883 --> 00:00:51,217 Nah. 14 00:00:51,259 --> 00:00:54,054 I came from nothing. 15 00:00:54,095 --> 00:00:56,389 People wanna say the American dream is dead. 16 00:00:56,431 --> 00:00:59,225 Well, that's bullshit, 17 00:00:59,267 --> 00:01:01,436 because the story I'm about to tell you, 18 00:01:01,478 --> 00:01:03,438 my story, 19 00:01:03,480 --> 00:01:06,024 is one that can only happen 20 00:01:06,066 --> 00:01:09,569 in the U.S. of motherfucking A. 21 00:01:12,197 --> 00:01:14,991 Are you even listening to me, Andrea? 22 00:01:15,033 --> 00:01:16,451 - I thought you were on the phone. 23 00:01:16,493 --> 00:01:18,411 - I'm inspiring you with my personal journey. 24 00:01:18,453 --> 00:01:19,913 This is a big deal for you, Andrea. 25 00:01:19,954 --> 00:01:21,414 Pay attention! 26 00:01:27,712 --> 00:01:28,963 - Shut up. 27 00:01:33,510 --> 00:01:35,345 - Get your ass in the store. 28 00:01:44,270 --> 00:01:46,398 - We were in here before. 29 00:01:46,439 --> 00:01:48,316 We took some candy when you weren't looking. 30 00:01:51,986 --> 00:01:53,738 I'm sorry. - Damn right, you sorry. 31 00:01:53,780 --> 00:01:57,075 We are a family that pays for what we get. 32 00:01:57,117 --> 00:01:58,952 - Okay. It's just 30ยข. 33 00:01:58,993 --> 00:02:01,496 - Oh, uh, we can't pay for these. 34 00:02:01,538 --> 00:02:02,831 It's not funny. 35 00:02:02,872 --> 00:02:05,417 You know I'm working towards something, Isaiah. 36 00:02:05,458 --> 00:02:07,794 Nobody succeeds overnight. You gotta put the time in. 37 00:02:07,836 --> 00:02:08,837 Ask him. 38 00:02:08,878 --> 00:02:10,588 Was it easy opening this place up? 39 00:02:10,630 --> 00:02:12,173 - No. It took years of hard work. 40 00:02:12,215 --> 00:02:14,259 - You see, boys? Years. 41 00:02:14,300 --> 00:02:16,928 You just gotta keep the faith. 42 00:02:16,970 --> 00:02:18,430 - Dad. 43 00:02:18,471 --> 00:02:19,848 Dad! - What? 44 00:02:21,474 --> 00:02:22,809 - We took more candy. 45 00:02:24,936 --> 00:02:26,813 Give him the candy. 46 00:02:30,066 --> 00:02:31,401 - I'm proud of you, Craig. 47 00:02:33,361 --> 00:02:34,904 - Fucking snitch. 48 00:02:34,946 --> 00:02:36,322 Ah! 49 00:02:36,364 --> 00:02:38,116 - What's the combination, motherfucker? 50 00:02:38,158 --> 00:02:40,410 Stop fucking stalling! 51 00:02:40,452 --> 00:02:42,328 - Be cool. I didn't see anything. 52 00:02:50,045 --> 00:02:51,629 - So how did I get from there 53 00:02:51,671 --> 00:02:54,758 to the splendor and opulence I now inhabit? 54 00:02:54,799 --> 00:02:57,177 Wait, are you crying? Don't cry. 55 00:02:57,218 --> 00:02:59,137 - Oh, Mr. Craig, it's so sad. 56 00:02:59,179 --> 00:03:00,180 - It's not sad. It's inspiring. 57 00:03:00,221 --> 00:03:01,431 - No, it is sad. 58 00:03:01,473 --> 00:03:02,724 - Agree to disagree. 59 00:03:02,766 --> 00:03:04,309 - I lost my cousin when I was eight. 60 00:03:04,351 --> 00:03:05,769 - We're not talking about that now. 61 00:03:05,810 --> 00:03:07,604 Andrea, this is a uplifting interaction. 62 00:03:07,645 --> 00:03:09,105 Cancer. 63 00:03:09,147 --> 00:03:10,148 - Andrea! 64 00:03:16,154 --> 00:03:19,157 It's 4:00 a.m. Miami is asleep. 65 00:03:19,199 --> 00:03:21,034 But me, I'm wide awake. Why? 66 00:03:21,076 --> 00:03:22,660 Am I out at the clubs? 67 00:03:22,702 --> 00:03:24,829 Do I rise with the European markets? 68 00:03:24,871 --> 00:03:26,164 No. 69 00:03:26,206 --> 00:03:27,832 I just really have to pee. 70 00:03:29,459 --> 00:03:32,504 Pause for laughter. Pause for laughter. 71 00:03:32,545 --> 00:03:34,214 This is an all-too-familiar story 72 00:03:34,255 --> 00:03:37,300 for a man of over 40, 50, or even 60. 73 00:03:37,342 --> 00:03:38,677 So what's the deal? 74 00:03:38,718 --> 00:03:40,387 Chances are, you're suffering from 75 00:03:40,428 --> 00:03:42,681 benign prostatic hyperplasia. 76 00:03:42,722 --> 00:03:45,642 In other words, you have an enlarged prostate, son. 77 00:03:46,685 --> 00:03:49,396 That's too Black. That's too Black. 78 00:03:49,437 --> 00:03:52,524 In other words, you have an enlarged prostate, sir. 79 00:03:52,565 --> 00:03:56,319 Frequent need, weak stream, post-urination dribbling-- 80 00:03:56,361 --> 00:03:57,821 this has to stop. 81 00:03:57,862 --> 00:03:59,155 But luckily-- 82 00:03:59,197 --> 00:04:00,782 Nessa, up! 83 00:04:00,824 --> 00:04:02,784 I'm dropping you at your mom's. I have to be at work early. 84 00:04:02,826 --> 00:04:03,827 - In a minute, Dad. 85 00:04:03,868 --> 00:04:05,412 - There's an all-natural supplement 86 00:04:05,453 --> 00:04:07,414 that's proven to work. 87 00:04:07,455 --> 00:04:09,916 Saw palmetto berries. 88 00:04:09,958 --> 00:04:12,502 Pharmaceutical companies are desperate 89 00:04:12,544 --> 00:04:14,504 for these berries. 90 00:04:14,546 --> 00:04:17,632 But they only grow one place in the entire world. 91 00:04:17,674 --> 00:04:18,883 Oh, shit! 92 00:04:18,925 --> 00:04:21,219 - What was that? - Is that an iguana? 93 00:04:21,261 --> 00:04:23,555 Where did it come from? 94 00:04:30,103 --> 00:04:31,563 - It's 'cause of the cold. 95 00:04:31,604 --> 00:04:34,357 They get stunned and start falling out of trees. 96 00:04:34,399 --> 00:04:37,402 Toss him in a bush. He'll warm up eventually. 97 00:04:41,448 --> 00:04:42,699 - You wanna go ahead and grab that for me? 98 00:04:42,741 --> 00:04:45,910 I don't love reptiles-- lizards, snakes, skinks. 99 00:04:45,952 --> 00:04:47,620 - What's a skink? - I don't know what a skink is. 100 00:04:47,662 --> 00:04:49,456 I'm not gonna look that shit up and scare myself. 101 00:04:49,497 --> 00:04:51,124 - Well, I'm not touching that. 102 00:04:51,166 --> 00:04:53,251 - Ugh. I'ma try the wipers. 103 00:04:57,672 --> 00:04:59,382 Ugh! 104 00:05:15,982 --> 00:05:17,108 Damn it. 105 00:05:25,075 --> 00:05:26,910 - It wasn't that big a deal. 106 00:05:26,951 --> 00:05:28,953 - That's 'cause you refused to touch it, Nessa. 107 00:05:30,872 --> 00:05:32,832 - Hey, Camille. 108 00:05:32,874 --> 00:05:35,001 Marco. 109 00:05:35,043 --> 00:05:36,544 Thank you for taking her. 110 00:05:36,586 --> 00:05:38,046 I have to be in early 111 00:05:38,088 --> 00:05:40,215 because I'm actually applying for a business loan. 112 00:05:40,256 --> 00:05:41,633 So I bought this suit. 113 00:05:41,675 --> 00:05:43,176 Fits so nice, it looks like it was painted on. 114 00:05:45,428 --> 00:05:48,390 - Yeah? Good. That's what I was going for. 115 00:05:48,431 --> 00:05:50,934 Oh, you just gonna walk away? Now you can't read my lips. 116 00:05:50,975 --> 00:05:53,645 Boy, that Marco's sure gained some weight, hasn't he? 117 00:05:53,687 --> 00:05:55,105 - He's calling me fat again. 118 00:05:55,146 --> 00:05:56,439 - This is family time, Marco. 119 00:05:56,481 --> 00:05:58,525 You don't need to be here. 120 00:05:58,566 --> 00:05:59,609 - Good luck at your meeting, Dad. 121 00:05:59,651 --> 00:06:00,568 - Thank you, baby. 122 00:06:14,958 --> 00:06:16,251 - Craig, wow! 123 00:06:16,292 --> 00:06:18,336 I barely recognize you out of your guard uniform. 124 00:06:18,378 --> 00:06:19,754 Love the suit. 125 00:06:19,796 --> 00:06:21,881 - I want you to know how serious I am about this. 126 00:06:21,923 --> 00:06:24,509 Can I just start? - Oh. Okay. 127 00:06:24,551 --> 00:06:26,845 All business. 128 00:06:31,057 --> 00:06:32,517 - It's 4:00 a.m. 129 00:06:32,559 --> 00:06:34,561 Miami is asleep. 130 00:06:34,602 --> 00:06:37,022 I'm wide awake. Why? 131 00:06:37,063 --> 00:06:38,481 Am I out at the club? 132 00:06:38,523 --> 00:06:40,358 Do I rise with the European markets? 133 00:06:40,400 --> 00:06:42,652 No. I just really have to pee-- 134 00:06:42,694 --> 00:06:45,030 - Wait, is this a pitch? 135 00:06:45,071 --> 00:06:47,532 Are you applying for a loan? - Yeah. 136 00:06:47,574 --> 00:06:48,825 I told Monica. Did she not-- 137 00:06:48,867 --> 00:06:50,160 - She just said you were coming in. 138 00:06:52,328 --> 00:06:56,499 I thought it was about me going as Shaq for Halloween. 139 00:06:56,541 --> 00:06:57,792 - Why would I wanna come in early 140 00:06:57,834 --> 00:06:59,044 to talk to you about that? 141 00:06:59,085 --> 00:07:01,129 - Somebody wrote a letter to corporate 142 00:07:01,171 --> 00:07:04,341 saying they were offended, and I assumed it was you, 143 00:07:04,382 --> 00:07:05,759 since you're the only... 144 00:07:08,762 --> 00:07:13,183 Person I hadn't asked about it yet. 145 00:07:13,224 --> 00:07:14,851 - It wasn't me. - Because you're cool. 146 00:07:14,893 --> 00:07:17,062 And for the record, I wasn't in blackface. 147 00:07:17,103 --> 00:07:19,522 I had makeup on my arms and chest. 148 00:07:19,564 --> 00:07:21,483 But the face was a mask. 149 00:07:21,524 --> 00:07:23,318 I'm not stupid. 150 00:07:23,360 --> 00:07:26,029 I know the rules. - Okay, so... 151 00:07:26,071 --> 00:07:27,697 can I still do my pitch? - Of course. 152 00:07:27,739 --> 00:07:29,991 Yeah, yeah, yeah. Let's hear it. 153 00:07:30,033 --> 00:07:31,451 - It's 4:00 a.m. 154 00:07:31,493 --> 00:07:33,411 Miami is asleep. 155 00:07:33,453 --> 00:07:34,454 Me? I'm wide awake-- 156 00:07:34,496 --> 00:07:36,748 - The whole thing is just so crazy. 157 00:07:36,790 --> 00:07:39,709 I'm one of the least racist people you'll ever meet. 158 00:07:41,503 --> 00:07:44,089 Sorry, go on. 159 00:07:44,130 --> 00:07:46,466 - So why am I awake? 160 00:07:46,508 --> 00:07:47,634 Am I out at the clubs? 161 00:07:47,676 --> 00:07:49,427 - I'm an advocate for Black people. 162 00:07:49,469 --> 00:07:51,596 I hired you and Gloria. 163 00:07:51,638 --> 00:07:54,683 - Gloria's not Black. - Well, she's something. 164 00:07:57,811 --> 00:07:59,437 - Do I rise with the European markets-- 165 00:07:59,479 --> 00:08:00,605 - I just gotta tell you, 166 00:08:00,647 --> 00:08:03,692 my favorite actor is Jamie Foxx. 167 00:08:04,901 --> 00:08:07,237 - I don't think you're racist, Mr. Franks. 168 00:08:07,278 --> 00:08:09,739 - Thanks. Thank you. 169 00:08:09,781 --> 00:08:12,951 It's so important to me that you know that 170 00:08:12,992 --> 00:08:15,286 because I can't give you a loan. 171 00:08:15,328 --> 00:08:18,289 Our default rate with borrowers from the Black community 172 00:08:18,331 --> 00:08:20,208 is just too high. 173 00:08:23,586 --> 00:08:27,716 What is your favorite Jamie Foxx movie? 174 00:08:27,757 --> 00:08:29,050 Mine's "Ray." 175 00:08:31,344 --> 00:08:33,471 So dope. 176 00:08:33,513 --> 00:08:34,723 - I can't believe that shit. 177 00:08:34,764 --> 00:08:36,474 I mean, whose favorite movie is "Ray"? 178 00:08:36,516 --> 00:08:37,809 - That's not what I meant, Isaiah. 179 00:08:37,851 --> 00:08:39,853 I worked on that presentation for over a year. 180 00:08:39,894 --> 00:08:41,312 - Yeah, well, bosses are dicks. 181 00:08:41,354 --> 00:08:43,189 That's why I'm self-employed. 182 00:08:43,231 --> 00:08:44,399 - Self-employed doing what? 183 00:08:44,441 --> 00:08:47,152 - Doin' well enough to afford the new Kobes. 184 00:08:47,193 --> 00:08:48,319 Pow! 185 00:08:48,361 --> 00:08:50,572 You didn't answer the question. 186 00:08:50,613 --> 00:08:52,532 - Because I'm being intentionally vague. 187 00:08:52,574 --> 00:08:54,159 Damn. 188 00:08:54,200 --> 00:08:55,869 Learn to allow a little mystery in your life. 189 00:08:55,910 --> 00:08:58,496 - Maybe I'm looking at this all wrong. 190 00:08:58,538 --> 00:09:00,749 You know what Rita Gaines says? - Who the fuck is Rita Gaines? 191 00:09:00,790 --> 00:09:03,001 - Famous entrepreneur. She was on "Shark Tank." 192 00:09:03,043 --> 00:09:04,294 And she says, 193 00:09:04,336 --> 00:09:07,547 "Every red light turns green eventually." 194 00:09:10,550 --> 00:09:11,843 - That's dumb as shit. 195 00:09:11,885 --> 00:09:13,428 Look, I'm saying this as your brother. 196 00:09:13,470 --> 00:09:15,347 This is your life, Cregory. 197 00:09:15,388 --> 00:09:17,932 You gotta take action. - What kind of action? 198 00:09:17,974 --> 00:09:19,351 - As soon as this lunch is over, 199 00:09:19,392 --> 00:09:20,935 I want you to walk into that guy's office, 200 00:09:20,977 --> 00:09:22,854 shut the door, and don't leave 201 00:09:22,896 --> 00:09:24,522 until he agrees to listen to your pitch-- 202 00:09:24,564 --> 00:09:26,441 the entire pitch. 203 00:09:26,483 --> 00:09:29,027 - Fuck it. You're right. - Goddamn right, I'm right! 204 00:09:29,069 --> 00:09:30,445 - I've worked there over six years. 205 00:09:30,487 --> 00:09:32,030 - Six fucking years. - They can give me ten minutes. 206 00:09:32,072 --> 00:09:33,990 - He can give you 20. - He cangive me 20. 207 00:09:34,032 --> 00:09:35,408 20 grand. - 20 grand! 208 00:09:35,450 --> 00:09:36,701 That's what the fuck 209 00:09:36,743 --> 00:09:39,537 I'm talkin' bout, Cre-gor-y! 210 00:09:44,876 --> 00:09:46,419 - What's up? Do we have a-- 211 00:09:46,461 --> 00:09:49,047 - Mr. Franks, I need $20,000 for a down payment 212 00:09:49,089 --> 00:09:51,758 on a piece of swampland, where I'm gonna grow 213 00:09:51,800 --> 00:09:54,678 saw palmetto berries and make a fuck ton of money. 214 00:09:54,719 --> 00:09:55,887 Did you know that most older men 215 00:09:55,929 --> 00:09:57,597 suffer from enlarged prostates? 216 00:09:57,639 --> 00:09:59,724 Well, these berries shrink the prostate, 217 00:09:59,766 --> 00:10:02,769 improve urination, enhance hair growth, 218 00:10:02,811 --> 00:10:04,104 and boost libido. 219 00:10:04,145 --> 00:10:06,648 Pharmaceutical companies are desperate for them, 220 00:10:06,690 --> 00:10:08,775 but they only grow one place in the world: 221 00:10:08,817 --> 00:10:10,068 coastal Flor-- 222 00:10:12,362 --> 00:10:13,655 - Everybody down! 223 00:10:13,697 --> 00:10:15,323 Down on the ground! 224 00:10:15,365 --> 00:10:16,741 We don't need no heroes. 225 00:10:16,783 --> 00:10:18,284 I don't wanna put no bullets in the body. 226 00:10:18,326 --> 00:10:20,245 Nobody move, nobody gets hu-- 227 00:10:21,579 --> 00:10:22,747 I'm okay. 228 00:10:22,789 --> 00:10:23,998 Go and hit the alarm. 229 00:10:24,040 --> 00:10:25,041 But he's out there. 230 00:10:25,083 --> 00:10:26,334 - So what are you doing in here? 231 00:10:26,376 --> 00:10:27,919 - I was--my pitch! 232 00:10:27,961 --> 00:10:30,422 Your gun's not even out. 233 00:10:30,463 --> 00:10:32,590 - Oh, shit, I forgot I had it. - All right! 234 00:10:32,632 --> 00:10:34,509 You know what time it is. Give me that gun. 235 00:10:34,551 --> 00:10:35,802 Pass the pistol. 236 00:10:37,470 --> 00:10:39,097 - Son of a bitch. 237 00:10:43,643 --> 00:10:46,396 What? 238 00:10:46,438 --> 00:10:48,606 I have no idea what you talkin' about. 239 00:10:48,648 --> 00:10:51,359 Oh, oh, you think all this cash is from a bank robbery. 240 00:10:51,401 --> 00:10:52,485 It's not. 241 00:10:52,527 --> 00:10:54,446 Crazy story... 242 00:10:56,698 --> 00:10:58,700 - I just found it. - You know I got fired, right? 243 00:10:58,742 --> 00:11:00,035 I lost my job 'cause of you! 244 00:11:00,076 --> 00:11:01,411 - No, you lost your job 245 00:11:01,453 --> 00:11:02,787 'cause you weren't where you were supposed to be. 246 00:11:02,829 --> 00:11:04,080 - 'Cause you told me to go in the manager's office 247 00:11:04,122 --> 00:11:05,331 and shut the door. 248 00:11:05,373 --> 00:11:06,416 - That's on you! 249 00:11:06,458 --> 00:11:07,959 You shouldn't be taking advice from me. 250 00:11:08,001 --> 00:11:10,211 I'm a known lowlife. Take me and Dame. 251 00:11:10,253 --> 00:11:12,422 He thinks I should get golden contact lenses, 252 00:11:12,464 --> 00:11:14,966 but I'm ignoring him because that man is trash. 253 00:11:15,008 --> 00:11:16,176 - They make you look like a wizard. 254 00:11:16,217 --> 00:11:17,719 - They make you bump into shit. 255 00:11:17,761 --> 00:11:19,304 - What happened to you, Zay? Huh? 256 00:11:19,346 --> 00:11:20,972 I knew about the scams and the fraud, 257 00:11:21,014 --> 00:11:22,474 but armed robbery? 258 00:11:22,515 --> 00:11:23,975 Seriously? 259 00:11:24,017 --> 00:11:27,228 Dad would be ashamed. 260 00:11:27,270 --> 00:11:29,522 You're a disgrace to his name. 261 00:11:31,107 --> 00:11:32,317 - Hey, Dame, give us a second. 262 00:11:32,359 --> 00:11:33,818 - Oh, yeah, no doubt. No doubt. 263 00:11:33,860 --> 00:11:34,903 No doubt. Shit. 264 00:11:34,944 --> 00:11:36,613 Oh, sh-- 265 00:11:37,906 --> 00:11:40,492 Ow. Fuck. My bad, man. 266 00:11:40,533 --> 00:11:43,912 I--I'll fix that later, you know what I'm sayin'? 267 00:11:43,953 --> 00:11:45,497 Fuck with your periphery and shit. 268 00:11:45,538 --> 00:11:47,499 My bad, man. 269 00:11:47,540 --> 00:11:48,708 - That dude's a fool. 270 00:11:48,750 --> 00:11:50,377 You see him fall off the counter in the bank? 271 00:11:51,628 --> 00:11:54,089 So I need a new partner. You're unemployed. 272 00:11:54,130 --> 00:11:55,382 - That's what you wanted to talk about? 273 00:11:55,423 --> 00:11:56,883 - Yeah, why you think I sent Dame out the room? 274 00:11:56,925 --> 00:11:58,009 - Because I touched a nerve 275 00:11:58,051 --> 00:11:59,219 with the stuff I said about Dad? 276 00:11:59,260 --> 00:12:01,179 - Oh. No, no. No, no. 277 00:12:01,221 --> 00:12:02,764 That didn't affect me at all. 278 00:12:02,806 --> 00:12:05,308 'Cause you know who was a disgrace to Dad's name? 279 00:12:05,350 --> 00:12:06,518 Dad. 280 00:12:06,559 --> 00:12:09,020 He achieved nothing. He ain't own nothing. 281 00:12:09,062 --> 00:12:11,356 He died with nothing. 282 00:12:11,398 --> 00:12:13,983 But I did you dirty. Here's 20 grand. 283 00:12:14,025 --> 00:12:16,361 Go buy yourself some swampland. Grow your damn dick berries. 284 00:12:16,403 --> 00:12:17,654 - Keep it. 285 00:12:17,696 --> 00:12:21,032 I'll get my loan, and I'll do it the right way. 286 00:12:21,074 --> 00:12:23,952 All right, Rita. Let's go. 287 00:12:23,993 --> 00:12:26,037 Power and glory. 288 00:12:26,079 --> 00:12:28,164 It's 4:00 a.m. and Miami is asleep. 289 00:12:28,206 --> 00:12:29,874 But me? I'm wide awake. 290 00:12:29,916 --> 00:12:31,876 Why? Am I out at the clubs? 291 00:12:31,918 --> 00:12:33,628 Do I rise with the European markets? 292 00:12:33,670 --> 00:12:35,797 No. I just really have to pee. 293 00:12:35,839 --> 00:12:37,424 This is an all-too-familiar story 294 00:12:37,465 --> 00:12:40,635 for a man of 40, 50, or even 60. 295 00:12:40,677 --> 00:12:43,722 You're suffering from benign prostatic hyperplasia. 296 00:12:43,763 --> 00:12:45,015 In other words, 297 00:12:45,056 --> 00:12:46,975 you have an enlarged prostate, sir. 298 00:12:48,977 --> 00:12:51,438 - What's your favorite Jamie Foxx movie? 299 00:12:51,479 --> 00:12:52,689 - E-excuse me? 300 00:12:52,731 --> 00:12:54,566 - My favorite of his, definitely "Collateral." 301 00:12:54,607 --> 00:12:56,943 - You know what he's great in? The new "Annie." 302 00:12:56,985 --> 00:12:58,695 - "Django" is fucking rad. 303 00:12:58,737 --> 00:13:01,322 They should teach that shit in schools. 304 00:13:02,657 --> 00:13:04,576 Bathroom is here. Towels are clean. 305 00:13:04,617 --> 00:13:05,827 What else? 306 00:13:05,869 --> 00:13:08,830 Uh, don't tell anyone I'm renting my place. 307 00:13:08,872 --> 00:13:10,415 It's not really allowed. 308 00:13:10,457 --> 00:13:12,417 - Oh. Just here visiting family. 309 00:13:12,459 --> 00:13:14,085 I don't even think I'll be around much. 310 00:13:14,127 --> 00:13:15,545 - Okay, cool. 311 00:13:15,587 --> 00:13:19,174 Well, I gotta get to the airport. 312 00:13:19,215 --> 00:13:20,925 I'm going to New York for a business meeting. 313 00:13:20,967 --> 00:13:22,218 - Right on, man. Enjoy the Big Apple. 314 00:13:22,260 --> 00:13:23,595 - All right. - All right. 315 00:14:08,223 --> 00:14:09,933 What the hell? 316 00:14:09,974 --> 00:14:11,142 Hey! 317 00:14:11,184 --> 00:14:12,560 Hey, what y'all doin' here? 318 00:14:16,272 --> 00:14:19,984 - Uh, yeah, I remember. 319 00:14:20,026 --> 00:14:22,070 Why do you think I'm at the car already? 320 00:14:23,363 --> 00:14:25,073 - Pfft. Am I living in here? 321 00:14:25,115 --> 00:14:27,325 What, a man can't cook breakfast in his own car 322 00:14:27,367 --> 00:14:29,035 without living in it? 323 00:14:30,954 --> 00:14:32,622 I have a friend in town. 324 00:14:32,664 --> 00:14:34,124 I gave him my bed. Damn. 325 00:14:34,165 --> 00:14:36,418 Oh, shoot! Phone call. 326 00:14:36,459 --> 00:14:38,086 Gotta cut this conversation short. 327 00:14:38,128 --> 00:14:40,922 I will take Vanessa to school, though. 328 00:14:40,964 --> 00:14:42,340 Oh, shit, it's a loan officer. 329 00:14:42,382 --> 00:14:44,509 Foster Group. Craig Foster speaking. 330 00:14:44,551 --> 00:14:45,969 - Hi, my name is Donald Assarian. 331 00:14:46,011 --> 00:14:47,387 I'm from First Florida Federated. 332 00:14:47,429 --> 00:14:49,014 - Hello, Mr. Assarian. How can I help you? 333 00:14:49,055 --> 00:14:51,808 - I came across your application on my boss' desk. 334 00:14:51,850 --> 00:14:54,019 He wasn't interested because you're-- 335 00:14:54,060 --> 00:14:55,395 well, the point is, 336 00:14:55,437 --> 00:14:56,771 I think it's an interesting proposal. 337 00:14:56,813 --> 00:14:58,398 Any chance you could take me by 338 00:14:58,440 --> 00:14:59,649 to see the plot you're looking at? 339 00:14:59,691 --> 00:15:01,317 - Absolutely. What's a good time for you? 340 00:15:01,359 --> 00:15:02,944 - Could you meet me there in an hour? 341 00:15:02,986 --> 00:15:05,071 - Perfect. Yes, I'll see you there. 342 00:15:05,113 --> 00:15:06,865 Thank you so much, Mr. Assarian. 343 00:15:06,906 --> 00:15:07,949 - Are you getting the loan? 344 00:15:07,991 --> 00:15:10,410 I'm getting the loan! 345 00:15:10,452 --> 00:15:11,578 Well, it's not for sure yet. 346 00:15:11,619 --> 00:15:13,288 He's gotta see the property first. 347 00:15:13,329 --> 00:15:14,539 Oh. My suit. 348 00:15:14,581 --> 00:15:16,041 I gotta get my special suit. 349 00:15:16,082 --> 00:15:17,500 Yo, sorry I can't take Vanessa. 350 00:15:18,585 --> 00:15:19,544 - I know. 351 00:15:20,378 --> 00:15:21,796 - I know. I know. I know. 352 00:15:21,838 --> 00:15:23,757 But this is the moment my life has been building up to. 353 00:15:23,798 --> 00:15:25,008 It's my dream. 354 00:15:25,050 --> 00:15:27,385 And it's the only way I can make it happen. 355 00:15:31,765 --> 00:15:33,391 - I wanted to help grieving families 356 00:15:33,433 --> 00:15:35,518 cover the myriad costs of burying a pet. 357 00:15:37,854 --> 00:15:39,064 - That was a good idea. 358 00:15:39,105 --> 00:15:40,774 Until everybody got smartphones. 359 00:15:40,815 --> 00:15:41,941 It's all the same! 360 00:15:41,983 --> 00:15:44,194 It's one dream. It's one fucking dream. 361 00:15:47,739 --> 00:15:49,699 I'm sorry. 362 00:15:49,741 --> 00:15:52,202 But I really think this is the one. 363 00:15:55,622 --> 00:15:58,416 Also, since you followed me in here, 364 00:15:58,458 --> 00:15:59,834 I do not have a friend over. 365 00:15:59,876 --> 00:16:01,211 That was obviously a lie. 366 00:16:01,252 --> 00:16:02,420 I'm making some extra money 367 00:16:02,462 --> 00:16:03,838 by renting my apartment out to strangers. 368 00:16:07,634 --> 00:16:10,095 - I never, ever do this when Vanessa's here, okay? 369 00:16:10,136 --> 00:16:11,888 I swear to you, Camille. 370 00:16:11,930 --> 00:16:14,766 Also, this guy is cool. I'm a great judge of character. 371 00:16:14,808 --> 00:16:16,267 I'm not just gonna let anybody up in-- 372 00:16:16,309 --> 00:16:18,019 What the fuck? 373 00:16:18,061 --> 00:16:19,729 What the fuck? 374 00:16:19,771 --> 00:16:20,689 - The fuck? 375 00:16:28,196 --> 00:16:29,364 - I know. 376 00:16:30,824 --> 00:16:31,825 - I know. 377 00:16:34,703 --> 00:16:36,287 - Hey. 378 00:16:36,329 --> 00:16:38,039 I'm sorry. 379 00:16:38,081 --> 00:16:40,291 I'm embarrassed. 380 00:16:40,333 --> 00:16:42,460 I'm sorry. 381 00:16:42,502 --> 00:16:44,045 But everything's gonna be different after today. 382 00:16:44,087 --> 00:16:45,296 I'ma get this loan. 383 00:16:45,338 --> 00:16:47,215 It's all gonna be different. I promise. 384 00:16:47,257 --> 00:16:49,175 But right now, I gotta go. Okay? 385 00:16:49,217 --> 00:16:50,969 I can't miss this. This-- 386 00:16:51,011 --> 00:16:52,303 shit! 387 00:16:52,345 --> 00:16:54,305 My sausages! 388 00:16:54,347 --> 00:16:56,141 - I called the fire department. 389 00:16:56,182 --> 00:16:59,019 - Good, good. That was smart. 390 00:16:59,060 --> 00:17:01,438 So can you take me... 391 00:17:06,192 --> 00:17:07,360 Right, let's go. 392 00:17:07,402 --> 00:17:10,655 Uber, yeah. That's a good idea. 393 00:17:10,697 --> 00:17:12,282 Ah, come on. Come on. Come on. 394 00:17:12,323 --> 00:17:14,659 Come on, come on, come on, come on, come on. 395 00:17:14,701 --> 00:17:17,829 Jillian G. Mercedes Benz. 396 00:17:29,883 --> 00:17:31,760 - Craig? 397 00:17:31,801 --> 00:17:34,012 - Yeah. - Hey. I'm Jillian. 398 00:17:34,054 --> 00:17:36,181 This is my Mercedes! 399 00:17:46,191 --> 00:17:47,359 You don't have to worry. 400 00:17:47,400 --> 00:17:49,027 I'm not one of those weird Uber drivers 401 00:17:49,069 --> 00:17:50,153 that doesn't talk. 402 00:17:50,195 --> 00:17:51,780 - Kay. 403 00:17:54,157 --> 00:17:56,242 - Are you from around here? 404 00:17:56,284 --> 00:17:58,411 - Yes. - I'm from Australia. 405 00:18:00,705 --> 00:18:03,416 Have you ever seen the movie "Grease"? 406 00:18:05,710 --> 00:18:06,836 - Yeah. 407 00:18:06,878 --> 00:18:08,797 - Well, here's a little secret for you. 408 00:18:08,838 --> 00:18:12,258 Olivia Newton-John is from Australia. 409 00:18:13,843 --> 00:18:14,886 Sandy? 410 00:18:17,222 --> 00:18:18,306 She played Sandy. 411 00:18:18,348 --> 00:18:19,391 - Yeah, yeah. - Yeah. 412 00:18:19,432 --> 00:18:20,684 - I know who you're talking about. 413 00:18:20,725 --> 00:18:22,811 - Have you ever heard of Nicole Kidman? 414 00:18:24,187 --> 00:18:25,522 - Oh, I'm sorry. I gotta take this. 415 00:18:25,563 --> 00:18:27,232 - She's Australian too. 416 00:18:27,273 --> 00:18:28,274 - What? 417 00:18:28,316 --> 00:18:30,694 - No "hello"? I see how it is. 418 00:18:30,735 --> 00:18:32,737 Well, you're about to feel real bad about being a dick 419 00:18:32,779 --> 00:18:34,489 because I'm calling to offer you a job. 420 00:18:34,531 --> 00:18:36,574 - What kind of job? A legal job? 421 00:18:36,616 --> 00:18:37,784 - That's a good question, Cregory. 422 00:18:37,826 --> 00:18:40,286 Let me run it up the ladder to my HR guy. 423 00:18:40,328 --> 00:18:42,080 - Get Dame to do it. 424 00:18:42,122 --> 00:18:43,873 - Nah, he's unavailable. 425 00:18:43,915 --> 00:18:45,542 He had a little mishap on account of those 426 00:18:45,583 --> 00:18:46,751 dumbass wizard lenses. 427 00:18:48,670 --> 00:18:50,505 - Look, man, I'm just trying to do your poor ass a favor. 428 00:18:50,547 --> 00:18:51,881 Just let me know if you're in. - I'm not in. 429 00:18:51,923 --> 00:18:54,300 My poor ass doesn't need any favors. 430 00:18:54,342 --> 00:18:56,386 As it so happens, I'm on my way 431 00:18:56,428 --> 00:18:58,972 to a business meeting right now. 432 00:18:59,014 --> 00:19:01,057 So thank you, 433 00:19:01,099 --> 00:19:02,350 and go fuck yourself. 434 00:19:02,392 --> 00:19:03,935 - Just call me after when it doesn't work out. 435 00:19:03,977 --> 00:19:05,353 - Go fuck yourself. 436 00:19:08,231 --> 00:19:10,150 - You're a businessman. 437 00:19:10,191 --> 00:19:11,860 Very cool. 438 00:19:11,901 --> 00:19:14,571 My father moved here to be a businessman. 439 00:19:14,612 --> 00:19:16,448 And then he died. 440 00:19:16,489 --> 00:19:18,158 - Sorry to hear that. - It's all right. 441 00:19:18,199 --> 00:19:22,829 It was sort of the best age to lose your dad-- 442 00:19:22,871 --> 00:19:25,540 as a teenager. 443 00:19:25,582 --> 00:19:28,251 So what's this big meeting? 444 00:19:28,293 --> 00:19:29,753 I'm trying to buy some land 445 00:19:29,794 --> 00:19:31,588 so I could start a saw palmetto farm. 446 00:19:31,629 --> 00:19:34,215 It's complicated. - Wow. 447 00:19:34,257 --> 00:19:36,468 I wish I was good at business. 448 00:19:36,509 --> 00:19:39,054 I'm way in debt, which is crazy, 449 00:19:39,095 --> 00:19:40,722 because I have so many jobs. 450 00:19:40,764 --> 00:19:43,558 I Uber. I Lyft. I TaskRabbit. 451 00:19:43,600 --> 00:19:46,436 I get paid by creeps online to watch me eat bananas. 452 00:19:46,478 --> 00:19:48,605 I do a little elder care-- oh, shit! 453 00:19:48,646 --> 00:19:50,523 - What? Wh-wh-what? 454 00:19:53,485 --> 00:19:54,944 Sorry, I just have to do one thing real quick. 455 00:19:54,986 --> 00:19:56,321 - No, I have a meeting. - I know. 456 00:19:56,363 --> 00:19:57,447 But this will just take one second. 457 00:19:57,489 --> 00:19:58,573 Please? 458 00:19:58,615 --> 00:19:59,991 - Pretty please? - Fine, fine, fine. 459 00:20:00,033 --> 00:20:01,034 - Great. 460 00:20:02,452 --> 00:20:03,870 - What's the hammer for? 461 00:20:03,912 --> 00:20:06,039 - Hammering. Be right back. 462 00:20:22,013 --> 00:20:24,349 - What the fuck? 463 00:20:32,315 --> 00:20:34,401 Nearly done! Just wrapping up! 464 00:20:34,442 --> 00:20:36,528 Oh, shit! Fuck you! Ah! 465 00:20:36,569 --> 00:20:39,114 - Oh, shit! - Ah! 466 00:20:41,408 --> 00:20:44,035 Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck! 467 00:20:44,077 --> 00:20:46,162 - Hey, I'm just gonna get another Uber. 468 00:20:46,204 --> 00:20:48,039 - No, no, no. I'm done! 469 00:20:48,081 --> 00:20:49,749 I'm done. 470 00:21:00,593 --> 00:21:02,554 Would you mind sliding down a tad? 471 00:21:02,595 --> 00:21:04,973 I'm gonna need a little room for this guy. 472 00:21:05,015 --> 00:21:07,517 No, no, no, no, no, no! 473 00:21:07,559 --> 00:21:10,729 No! No! No! 474 00:21:15,108 --> 00:21:17,068 - So you're probably wondering about the snake. 475 00:21:17,110 --> 00:21:19,237 - Yeah, I'm wondering about the fucking snake. 476 00:21:19,279 --> 00:21:21,656 That's exactly what I'm wondering about, Jillian G. 477 00:21:21,698 --> 00:21:22,907 - It's all completely above board. 478 00:21:22,949 --> 00:21:25,410 The state of Florida pays me to do this job. 479 00:21:25,452 --> 00:21:26,745 Check it out. I've got a pamphlet. 480 00:21:28,788 --> 00:21:31,249 Ten years ago, there was a trend for people 481 00:21:31,291 --> 00:21:33,209 to get Burmese pythons as pets. 482 00:21:33,251 --> 00:21:34,836 They start out really cute. 483 00:21:34,878 --> 00:21:36,838 - That can't be true. - It is. 484 00:21:36,880 --> 00:21:38,131 But then they got too big, 485 00:21:38,173 --> 00:21:40,133 so everyone drove their snakes out to the swamps 486 00:21:40,175 --> 00:21:42,844 and set them free, but they're not from here, 487 00:21:42,886 --> 00:21:45,513 so nothing eats them, but they eat everything. 488 00:21:45,555 --> 00:21:46,598 Birds... - Okay. 489 00:21:46,639 --> 00:21:47,932 - Alligators... - Damn. 490 00:21:47,974 --> 00:21:49,559 - Even other snakes. - Nasty. 491 00:21:49,601 --> 00:21:51,353 - It's an ecological disaster. 492 00:21:51,394 --> 00:21:53,980 So the state pays removal agents 493 00:21:54,022 --> 00:21:56,941 100 bucks for every dead python we bring in. 494 00:21:56,983 --> 00:21:59,277 It's a quick and easy way to earn some extra cash. 495 00:21:59,319 --> 00:22:00,570 - Didn't seem easy. 496 00:22:00,612 --> 00:22:02,364 - They're not poisonous. They're really slow. 497 00:22:02,405 --> 00:22:03,573 They're like big hot dogs 498 00:22:03,615 --> 00:22:05,784 that can bite you or squeeze you to death. 499 00:22:05,825 --> 00:22:09,287 But also, they can kind of smile. 500 00:22:09,329 --> 00:22:12,499 - You know, this has been very informative and all that, 501 00:22:12,540 --> 00:22:14,167 but you think we--hey! 502 00:22:14,209 --> 00:22:15,627 Hey! It's alive! 503 00:22:15,669 --> 00:22:16,753 You didn't kill it! 504 00:22:16,795 --> 00:22:17,796 Shit! - Okay. 505 00:22:17,837 --> 00:22:18,922 Okay, okay. 506 00:22:18,963 --> 00:22:20,340 Fuck! - Stay calm! Just remember! 507 00:22:20,382 --> 00:22:21,758 It's more scared than you are! 508 00:22:21,800 --> 00:22:23,551 That motherfucker's not scared at all! 509 00:22:23,593 --> 00:22:24,803 - That must be the brain damage. 510 00:22:24,844 --> 00:22:26,471 Sometimes they lose all sense of reason. 511 00:22:26,513 --> 00:22:28,139 Grab its neck! 512 00:22:28,181 --> 00:22:29,432 - That doesn't help. It's all neck! 513 00:22:31,351 --> 00:22:33,395 Shit! Shit! 514 00:22:33,436 --> 00:22:34,688 Get off me! 515 00:22:34,729 --> 00:22:36,106 - Hold on. Hold on. - Get off me! 516 00:22:36,147 --> 00:22:37,399 Ow! - Sorry! 517 00:22:37,440 --> 00:22:38,483 Sorry! 518 00:22:38,525 --> 00:22:39,526 - Ow! - Sorry! 519 00:22:39,567 --> 00:22:42,612 Shit! 520 00:22:42,654 --> 00:22:44,406 Ow, shit! 521 00:22:44,447 --> 00:22:46,241 Watch the road! 522 00:22:46,282 --> 00:22:48,660 The window won't kill it! 523 00:22:48,702 --> 00:22:51,037 Shit! - Oh, shit! 524 00:23:02,382 --> 00:23:06,511 - Okay, so I kind of feel like I owe you an apology. 525 00:23:06,553 --> 00:23:07,762 You were right. 526 00:23:07,804 --> 00:23:09,931 The window thing worked. You killed the snake! 527 00:23:09,973 --> 00:23:12,392 - That's not what you should be apologizing for, Jillian G. 528 00:23:12,434 --> 00:23:14,102 - What do you think I should be sorry about? 529 00:23:14,144 --> 00:23:15,311 - Everything! 530 00:23:15,353 --> 00:23:17,647 The generalities of this whole situation. 531 00:23:17,689 --> 00:23:21,401 - Okay, but the window thing was super smart. 532 00:23:21,443 --> 00:23:24,029 So many people overlook the cerebral aspect 533 00:23:24,070 --> 00:23:25,947 of snake-killing. 534 00:23:25,989 --> 00:23:28,616 Hey, would you ever wanna team up? 535 00:23:28,658 --> 00:23:30,535 Your brains, my hammer? 536 00:23:30,577 --> 00:23:33,038 - I just wanna get to my meeting. 537 00:23:33,079 --> 00:23:34,205 Does your car still drive? 538 00:23:34,247 --> 00:23:35,874 - Oh, yeah, for sure. 539 00:23:35,915 --> 00:23:38,752 I'll just throw it in reverse and get you there in no time. 540 00:23:38,793 --> 00:23:40,462 - My special suit. 541 00:23:40,503 --> 00:23:41,963 I can't show up looking like this. 542 00:23:42,005 --> 00:23:43,256 - Not a problem. 543 00:23:43,298 --> 00:23:45,300 I have clothes you could change into. 544 00:23:48,511 --> 00:23:50,722 - Do you live in there? - Yeah, it's great. 545 00:23:50,764 --> 00:23:52,098 I got a bed. 546 00:23:52,140 --> 00:23:54,392 I got a couple garbage bags with my things. 547 00:23:56,144 --> 00:23:57,103 That's pretty much it. 548 00:23:57,145 --> 00:23:58,438 - Where do you go to the bathroom? 549 00:23:58,480 --> 00:23:59,356 - Starbucks. 550 00:23:59,397 --> 00:24:00,732 It's actually awesome. - It is? 551 00:24:00,774 --> 00:24:02,901 - Does your bathroom get cleaned twice a day? 552 00:24:02,942 --> 00:24:05,195 - Look, this is very nice and more than a little bleak, 553 00:24:05,236 --> 00:24:06,654 but I don't think you have anything in there 554 00:24:06,696 --> 00:24:08,031 that'll fit me. 555 00:24:08,073 --> 00:24:11,326 - Oh, really? 556 00:24:13,203 --> 00:24:15,497 - What the hell is that? - My graduation gown. 557 00:24:15,538 --> 00:24:17,999 Florida School of Excellence, class of '07. 558 00:24:18,041 --> 00:24:19,709 Go Titties! 559 00:24:19,751 --> 00:24:21,127 The old mascot was racist, 560 00:24:21,169 --> 00:24:23,546 so they let the students vote on a new one. 561 00:24:28,009 --> 00:24:30,595 That color does really pop on you. 562 00:24:30,637 --> 00:24:32,639 Quick tip, though-- stay in the shade 563 00:24:32,681 --> 00:24:34,391 because that fabric melts in the sun 564 00:24:34,432 --> 00:24:36,476 and it will burn your skin. 565 00:24:51,866 --> 00:24:54,577 - Mr. Assarian. 566 00:24:54,619 --> 00:24:55,787 I'm Craig. 567 00:24:59,082 --> 00:25:00,250 - What are you wearing? - This? 568 00:25:00,291 --> 00:25:02,210 Oh, it's a, uh... 569 00:25:02,252 --> 00:25:03,503 it's a gown. 570 00:25:03,545 --> 00:25:05,755 Standard business casual gown. 571 00:25:05,797 --> 00:25:07,716 Look, I have a presentation for you, okay? 572 00:25:07,757 --> 00:25:09,050 - Yeah. - Okay. 573 00:25:10,719 --> 00:25:12,012 It's 4:00 a.m. 574 00:25:12,053 --> 00:25:13,680 Miami is asleep. 575 00:25:13,722 --> 00:25:16,975 But I'm wide awake. Why? Am I out at the clubs? 576 00:25:17,017 --> 00:25:18,810 Do I rise with the European markets? 577 00:25:18,852 --> 00:25:20,186 No. 578 00:25:20,228 --> 00:25:21,855 I just really have to pee. 579 00:25:25,400 --> 00:25:27,527 This is a all-too-familiar-story 580 00:25:27,569 --> 00:25:31,406 for a man of over 40, 50, or even 60. 581 00:25:33,533 --> 00:25:35,035 What's the deal? 582 00:25:35,076 --> 00:25:37,287 What's, uh, the deal? 583 00:25:40,915 --> 00:25:42,542 Okay. 584 00:25:42,584 --> 00:25:44,377 Look, I know this seems crazy. 585 00:25:44,419 --> 00:25:47,672 I'm late. I show up in a billboard. 586 00:25:47,714 --> 00:25:50,050 When I was a kid, my dad told me 587 00:25:50,091 --> 00:25:52,927 if I worked hard, I could make it. 588 00:25:52,969 --> 00:25:54,846 I could become rich. 589 00:25:56,348 --> 00:25:57,640 "It won't be easy," he said, 590 00:25:57,682 --> 00:26:02,187 "but you just gotta have faith." 591 00:26:02,228 --> 00:26:04,230 And then he died. 592 00:26:04,272 --> 00:26:08,193 He wasn't rich. He wasn't anything. 593 00:26:08,234 --> 00:26:10,403 But I carried on his dream. 594 00:26:10,445 --> 00:26:12,322 I just thought that, 595 00:26:12,364 --> 00:26:16,368 you know, if I could prove him right, 596 00:26:16,409 --> 00:26:19,079 then his life would've meant something. 597 00:26:19,120 --> 00:26:21,414 His death would've meant something. 598 00:26:21,456 --> 00:26:26,211 And I waited and I worked through setback after setback, 599 00:26:26,252 --> 00:26:28,380 and it's just getting so damn hard. 600 00:26:28,421 --> 00:26:30,632 And I just wanted a sign-- 601 00:26:30,674 --> 00:26:33,635 anything to tell me to keep going. 602 00:26:33,677 --> 00:26:36,721 So when you called this morning out of nowhere, 603 00:26:36,763 --> 00:26:38,807 that's what I'd been waiting for. 604 00:26:38,848 --> 00:26:40,684 It was like the heavens opened up 605 00:26:40,725 --> 00:26:43,103 and I could hear the angels singing. 606 00:26:43,144 --> 00:26:45,772 So now, if you say no, 607 00:26:45,814 --> 00:26:49,901 it's not just that I won't get to start my new business. 608 00:26:49,943 --> 00:26:54,197 This is everything I've ever believed in. 609 00:26:54,239 --> 00:26:56,199 So I'm asking you, 610 00:26:56,241 --> 00:26:58,952 please, 611 00:26:58,993 --> 00:27:00,662 reward my faith. 612 00:27:03,123 --> 00:27:05,709 - Fuck him. That guy's a dick. 613 00:27:10,422 --> 00:27:12,674 Do you mind if we make a quick pit stop? 614 00:27:14,509 --> 00:27:16,678 - I feel like I'm going above and beyond here 615 00:27:16,720 --> 00:27:18,638 in my role as Uber passenger. 616 00:27:18,680 --> 00:27:21,307 - Okay, I didn't wanna ruin the surprise, 617 00:27:21,349 --> 00:27:24,144 but I'm gonna give you the 100 bucks 618 00:27:24,185 --> 00:27:25,687 to invest in your business. 619 00:27:25,729 --> 00:27:27,063 - What? Why? 620 00:27:27,105 --> 00:27:29,441 - Do you know why my graduation gown wasn't melted? 621 00:27:29,482 --> 00:27:30,525 - I assumed because you were 622 00:27:30,567 --> 00:27:31,651 sittin' in the shade or whatever. 623 00:27:31,693 --> 00:27:33,611 There's no shade 624 00:27:33,653 --> 00:27:36,072 at the Florida School of Excellence. 625 00:27:36,114 --> 00:27:39,200 Wake up, man! I didn't graduate. 626 00:27:39,242 --> 00:27:41,828 Remember when I said 16 was a good age 627 00:27:41,870 --> 00:27:43,538 to have your dad die? 628 00:27:43,580 --> 00:27:45,665 It wasn't. I tricked you. 629 00:27:45,707 --> 00:27:48,001 I kind of stopped going to school after that-- 630 00:27:48,043 --> 00:27:50,920 stopped really doing anything. 631 00:27:50,962 --> 00:27:53,340 Things have been tough since then, and I don't know, 632 00:27:53,381 --> 00:27:56,051 I just don't like to see anyone else give up. 633 00:27:56,092 --> 00:27:57,469 - Well, I appreciate it, Jillian G, 634 00:27:57,510 --> 00:27:59,220 but 100 bucks ain't gonna do shit for me. 635 00:27:59,262 --> 00:28:01,681 - It might be 110. They pay by the foot. 636 00:28:01,723 --> 00:28:03,808 So if you pull the skin away from the meat-- 637 00:28:03,850 --> 00:28:05,685 - I need $20,000. 638 00:28:05,727 --> 00:28:09,022 Okay? So keep your money. 639 00:28:09,064 --> 00:28:10,440 I'm done. 640 00:28:12,150 --> 00:28:13,526 - Okay. 641 00:28:13,568 --> 00:28:16,321 Well, I guess I better go find someone else 642 00:28:16,363 --> 00:28:18,073 to help me with this, then. - Yeah. 643 00:28:24,371 --> 00:28:25,497 - Hey. 644 00:28:25,538 --> 00:28:27,123 How'd the big business meeting go? 645 00:28:27,165 --> 00:28:28,667 You swimmin' in dick berries? 646 00:28:28,708 --> 00:28:30,960 - No. Look. 647 00:28:31,002 --> 00:28:34,089 I'm calling to see if you still have that... 648 00:28:34,130 --> 00:28:35,715 job opening available for me. 649 00:28:35,757 --> 00:28:38,385 - The illegal one? The crime I'm doing? 650 00:28:38,426 --> 00:28:39,844 - I thought we were being cagey about this. 651 00:28:39,886 --> 00:28:42,013 - Oh, no, that was before I had a chance 652 00:28:42,055 --> 00:28:44,224 to rub your moral downfall in your face. 653 00:28:44,265 --> 00:28:45,934 - It's not a moral downfall. 654 00:28:45,975 --> 00:28:47,185 - Oh, it is. 655 00:28:47,227 --> 00:28:49,562 We're gonna do such fucked up stuff together. 656 00:28:49,604 --> 00:28:51,981 - Hey, you think you're in my head? 657 00:28:53,942 --> 00:28:57,821 I know what you're doing-- standin' out here. 658 00:28:57,862 --> 00:28:58,947 It ain't gonna work. 659 00:28:58,988 --> 00:29:00,323 - What the fuck are you talkin' about? 660 00:29:00,365 --> 00:29:01,408 - Oh, you think we're gonna be intimidated 661 00:29:01,449 --> 00:29:02,826 'cause you got a 14-footer? 662 00:29:02,867 --> 00:29:04,119 Think that makes you the favorite? 663 00:29:04,160 --> 00:29:05,745 Well, guess what? 664 00:29:05,787 --> 00:29:08,915 My boy and I are gonna eat your fucking ass. 665 00:29:08,957 --> 00:29:10,500 - Dad. 666 00:29:10,542 --> 00:29:13,586 - Yeah, we're gonna be eatin' out on your ass all day long. 667 00:29:13,628 --> 00:29:16,423 - Dad! - What, Corby? 668 00:29:16,464 --> 00:29:17,590 What? 669 00:29:17,632 --> 00:29:19,592 - We're gonna eat his ass? 670 00:29:19,634 --> 00:29:21,052 - Yeah, well, we're gonna-- 671 00:29:21,094 --> 00:29:23,179 we're gonna kick his ass-- you know what I meant, okay? 672 00:29:23,221 --> 00:29:24,556 Boy, I'm havin' a showdown here. 673 00:29:24,597 --> 00:29:26,391 A man's showdown. Don't undermine me. 674 00:29:26,433 --> 00:29:28,351 - Um, sorry, excuse me. 675 00:29:28,393 --> 00:29:31,021 What are you talkin' about? - The contest. 676 00:29:31,062 --> 00:29:32,605 The Florida Python Challenge. 677 00:29:32,647 --> 00:29:34,691 It starts tomorrow. 30 days. 678 00:29:34,733 --> 00:29:36,484 Whoever kills the most snakes gets a grand prize. 679 00:29:36,526 --> 00:29:38,778 - What kind of grand prize? - Cash. 680 00:29:38,820 --> 00:29:39,946 - How much cash? 681 00:29:42,782 --> 00:29:44,534 - $20,000. 682 00:29:48,163 --> 00:29:49,956 - Zay, 683 00:29:49,998 --> 00:29:51,291 I gotta go. 684 00:31:20,714 --> 00:31:22,757 - Not a doctor. - Shh.