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00:00:04,104 --> 00:00:06,973
♪ Simpsons Halloween,
Simpsons Halloween ♪

2
00:00:07,073 --> 00:00:08,641
♪ Beloved characters
dead and gone ♪

3
00:00:08,775 --> 00:00:12,112
♪ Simpsons Halloween, blood
and guts will make you scream ♪

4
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- [yelps]
-!
- Ay, caramba.- ♪Halloween episodes ♪

5
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♪ Are not canon.♪

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♪ ♪

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[exclaims]

8
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Homie, it's our first

9
00:00:26,960 --> 00:00:28,494
wedding anniversary.

10
00:00:28,495 --> 00:00:31,964
Which means it's been exactly
a year since you promised

11
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to build this shed.

12
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Yeah, but I've been thinking--

13
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are we really shed people?

14
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Maybe "box in the living room"
is more our vibe.

15
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Oh. I'll build it myself.

16
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[grunting]

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[Homer] Ah-ah.

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- Mm...
- Mm?

19
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Ta-da.

20
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- Look what we built.
- "We"?

21
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Uh, oui, oui, madame.

22
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Where does this go?

23
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Put it in the shed.

24
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Okay, it's going on the list.

25
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Don't put it on the list.

26
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Put it in the shed.

27
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Can we not argue
in front of the list?

28
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Is this what the rest of my life
is going to be?

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Could've just asked.

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Gonna go put this in the shed.

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[groans softly]

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Hey, baby, it's gardening time.

33
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Who are you?

34
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Where's my husband?

35
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Oh, pumpkin, this is one
of the reasons I married you--

36
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your wacky sense of humor.

37
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[humming a tune]

38
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Homie? Where are you?

39
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We've been robbed.

40
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They took our stuff and...

41
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left other stuff.

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[gasps]

43
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What the heck is happening?

44
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Are some pranksters
pulling a gotcha?

45
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I've got to call Homer.

46
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- Aah!
- [Lenny] Hey, sexy mama.

47
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I think it's towel time.

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[grunting]

49
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What are you doing?

50
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Chair time isn't till Wednesday.

51
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I'll go put this in the shed.

52
00:02:03,923 --> 00:02:05,925
Hey, sweetheart.

53
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[gasps]

54
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- Aah!
- I made it all the way here

55
00:02:13,333 --> 00:02:16,802
from the shed, even though
it's slightly uphill. [chuckles]

56
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Hey, how about a foot rub?

57
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- [squelching]
- [breathing sharply]

58
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Wh-What is happening?

59
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I'd love to give you a foot rub,

60
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but can you get my toe creams
from the shed?

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Oh, boy.

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Gonna be a party tonight
for Wiggy's piggies

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and the bunion bunch.

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- [squelching]
- [grumbling]

65
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Thanks for meeting, Tiffany.

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According to these pictures
that are now on my phone,

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you and I are best friends.
Mm.

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00:02:44,364 --> 00:02:46,366
Mm-hmm.
Cake don't lie.

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I know this is
gonna sound crazy,

70
00:02:48,468 --> 00:02:51,003
but every time my husband
goes into our shed,

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a new one comes out.

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Apparently,
now I'm married to

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this guy.

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Marge, if what
you're saying is true,

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you got the winning numbers
for the romance lottery.

76
00:03:02,949 --> 00:03:04,249
I did? How?

77
00:03:04,250 --> 00:03:08,020
Listen, most guys
hide who they really are

78
00:03:08,021 --> 00:03:09,723
till they got you locked down.

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Oh, sure, on the first date,

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they're Idris Elba.

81
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But six months later,
you're asking,

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"Id-ris
really who I settled for?"

83
00:03:19,299 --> 00:03:21,868
This lady knows
what I'm talking about.

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- Oh, do I ever.
- Oh!

85
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But you get to choose your man
after seeing who he really is.

86
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And if he ain't good in bed,

87
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give him the shed.

88
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If he won't take you
to Club Med,

89
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give him the shed.

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If his talks ain't Ted...

91
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Give him the shed!

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[cheering]

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♪ It's raining men ♪

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♪ Hallelujah, it's raining men ♪

95
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♪ Amen ♪

96
00:03:48,595 --> 00:03:51,296
♪ I'm gonna go out,
I'm gonna let myself ♪

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♪ Get absolutely ♪

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♪ Soaking wet ♪

99
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♪ It's raining men ♪

100
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♪ Hallelujah, it's raining men ♪

101
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♪ Every specimen.♪

102
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[man]
Honeybee,

103
00:04:06,312 --> 00:04:07,480
you okay?

104
00:04:07,580 --> 00:04:08,581
You'll ruin that dress,

105
00:04:08,715 --> 00:04:10,183
and it's so flattering on you.

106
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[gasps]
Survivorhost

107
00:04:12,318 --> 00:04:15,221
and laid-back dreamboat
Jeff Probst?

108
00:04:15,321 --> 00:04:17,090
Are you my husband now?

109
00:04:17,190 --> 00:04:19,793
Yep. Would I have
this tribal tattoo

110
00:04:19,893 --> 00:04:21,093
if I wasn't?

111
00:04:21,094 --> 00:04:22,362
[Marge] Mm!

112
00:04:22,462 --> 00:04:24,797
Now, why don't we go upstairs
and you can...

113
00:04:24,798 --> 00:04:26,566
snuff my torch.

114
00:04:26,666 --> 00:04:28,668
[giggling]

115
00:04:29,336 --> 00:04:32,472
Jeff, remind me again
about our first date.

116
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I just like the way
you tell the story.

117
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Well, we went to a tiki bar,

118
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and let's just say you
didn't vote me off the island.

119
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[chuckling] Oh. Oh.

120
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Wha?

121
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- Homie! I thought I lost you.
- Huh? Oh!

122
00:04:47,220 --> 00:04:49,121
Oh, hey, hey, hey, who are you?

123
00:04:49,122 --> 00:04:51,056
How dare you mess
with my manicotti.

124
00:04:51,057 --> 00:04:54,827
Homer, hold some things
while I find my pepper spray.

125
00:04:54,828 --> 00:04:55,829
You don't know me?

126
00:04:55,929 --> 00:04:56,963
I'm Marge.

127
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Marge. Marge!

128
00:04:59,966 --> 00:05:01,266
Ooh. I'm sorry.

129
00:05:01,267 --> 00:05:03,236
I thought... I knew him.

130
00:05:03,370 --> 00:05:05,271
Sweetheart, it's okay.

131
00:05:05,372 --> 00:05:07,374
Now, let's say
we go upstairs and...

132
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merge the tribes.

133
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[both moaning]

134
00:05:12,212 --> 00:05:14,848
[moaning, chuckling]

135
00:05:14,948 --> 00:05:16,982
[Marge]
Oh, Homer.

136
00:05:16,983 --> 00:05:18,650
- Homer?
- Uh-oh.

137
00:05:18,651 --> 00:05:21,855
Well, there was
a contestant named Omar

138
00:05:21,955 --> 00:05:23,523
on season 42.

139
00:05:23,623 --> 00:05:26,559
But I don't think
that's what you meant.

140
00:05:26,659 --> 00:05:29,596
Not at all!
[crying]

141
00:05:31,865 --> 00:05:32,699
After last night,

142
00:05:32,799 --> 00:05:34,734
I thought it best
to ask you to...

143
00:05:34,868 --> 00:05:36,268
uh, cast your vote

144
00:05:36,269 --> 00:05:38,270
in the shed of destiny.

145
00:05:38,271 --> 00:05:40,774
The bride has spoken.

146
00:05:45,679 --> 00:05:48,581
- Hoo-boy, that's a downgrade.
- [groans]

147
00:05:49,249 --> 00:05:51,183
- [shotgun racks]
- [Marge] I'm sorry
it's come to this.

148
00:05:51,184 --> 00:05:52,918
Aah!
My hot stalker.

149
00:05:52,919 --> 00:05:54,020
Are you crazy?

150
00:05:54,154 --> 00:05:55,422
I am crazy.

151
00:05:55,522 --> 00:05:58,157
Crazy in love with the man
I initially married.

152
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Now, come love me back

153
00:06:00,193 --> 00:06:02,028
or I'll kill you.

154
00:06:02,128 --> 00:06:04,431
[whimpering]

155
00:06:04,531 --> 00:06:07,299
I don't know how
this wackadoodle magic works,

156
00:06:07,300 --> 00:06:09,436
but maybe if we go
into that shed together,

157
00:06:09,569 --> 00:06:12,605
it will get me off
this horrible marriage-go-round.

158
00:06:12,706 --> 00:06:14,808
- So let's go.
- Ow!

159
00:06:16,810 --> 00:06:17,711
[both gasp]

160
00:06:17,844 --> 00:06:20,714
Marge! I went in the shed
and when I came out,

161
00:06:20,847 --> 00:06:22,315
I was married to Helen Lovejoy.

162
00:06:22,449 --> 00:06:23,917
And then Lunch Lady Dora.

163
00:06:24,050 --> 00:06:25,185
Then Crazy Cat Lady.

164
00:06:25,318 --> 00:06:27,053
And then Jeff Probst.

165
00:06:27,153 --> 00:06:28,355
None of that matters.

166
00:06:28,455 --> 00:06:30,857
Somehow, we found our way
back to each other

167
00:06:30,957 --> 00:06:33,460
and the lives
we were supposed to have.

168
00:06:33,593 --> 00:06:36,196
Everything is finally perfect.

169
00:06:36,296 --> 00:06:38,665
[both moaning]

170
00:06:40,066 --> 00:06:42,102
Mommy and Daddy are sinning.

171
00:06:43,336 --> 00:06:44,771
- Yay!
- Yay!

172
00:06:50,243 --> 00:06:51,778
I made an extra special
meal tonight,

173
00:06:51,878 --> 00:06:53,613
because I love you all so much.

174
00:06:53,713 --> 00:06:55,081
- Yay!
- Yay!
- Yay!

175
00:06:55,181 --> 00:06:57,750
It's beige surprise.

176
00:06:57,751 --> 00:07:00,520
This family
needs to get healthy.

177
00:07:01,855 --> 00:07:02,921
Bleah!

178
00:07:02,922 --> 00:07:05,358
Hm.
Where do you three rascals

179
00:07:05,458 --> 00:07:06,759
think you're going?

180
00:07:06,760 --> 00:07:08,394
Marge, we had
a long, honest talk

181
00:07:08,395 --> 00:07:09,896
about what you said
ten seconds ago,

182
00:07:09,996 --> 00:07:12,097
and we decided
to get a jump on fitness

183
00:07:12,098 --> 00:07:13,967
by jogging to the dog park.

184
00:07:15,001 --> 00:07:17,237
♪ ♪

185
00:07:19,506 --> 00:07:20,874
[whimpering]

186
00:07:21,675 --> 00:07:24,677
Don't get me wrong,
your mother's a great lady.

187
00:07:24,678 --> 00:07:27,814
But every once in a while,
she whiffs dinner so hard.

188
00:07:27,914 --> 00:07:31,151
What is with you
and delicious, savory meat?

189
00:07:31,251 --> 00:07:32,852
[Santa's Little Helper whimpers]

190
00:07:32,952 --> 00:07:34,020
- Fetch.
- [barks]

191
00:07:34,120 --> 00:07:35,255
- [tires screech]
- [thud]

192
00:07:35,355 --> 00:07:36,523
- [Santa's Little
Helper whimpers]
- [gasps]

193
00:07:36,623 --> 00:07:38,992
["On Top of Spaghetti"
playing eerily]

194
00:07:44,030 --> 00:07:47,166
Oh. [sobs]
That dog was my best friend.

195
00:07:47,167 --> 00:07:48,801
He pooped in all the best places

196
00:07:48,802 --> 00:07:51,070
and he humped
all the funniest things.

197
00:07:51,071 --> 00:07:54,040
And now he's licking
his junk with Jesus.

198
00:07:54,140 --> 00:07:55,408
[grunting]

199
00:07:55,508 --> 00:07:58,444
Whew. The gravediggers
I follow on Instagram

200
00:07:58,445 --> 00:08:01,414
always make their job
seem so glamorous.

201
00:08:01,514 --> 00:08:03,049
But you know what?

202
00:08:03,149 --> 00:08:04,917
- [thunk]
- Uh-oh.

203
00:08:04,918 --> 00:08:06,586
Aah!

204
00:08:06,686 --> 00:08:08,521
[grunting softly]

205
00:08:15,061 --> 00:08:18,098
God, I killed
the dog and the boy.

206
00:08:18,198 --> 00:08:20,467
Got to think of something
to tell Marge.

207
00:08:20,567 --> 00:08:23,469
Can't sleep until
I think of something.

208
00:08:23,470 --> 00:08:26,339
Oh, I'll never sleep again.

209
00:08:26,439 --> 00:08:28,608
[snoring]

210
00:08:37,417 --> 00:08:38,785
[gasps]

211
00:08:39,452 --> 00:08:41,286
Honey, I think
Bart and the dog ran away.

212
00:08:41,287 --> 00:08:44,324
They were saying something
about the terrible food here,

213
00:08:44,424 --> 00:08:46,826
but you shouldn't
blame yourself.

214
00:08:47,627 --> 00:08:49,462
[growling]

215
00:08:49,562 --> 00:08:50,497
[gasps]

216
00:08:50,597 --> 00:08:53,333
Egg whites
and cauliflower bacon.

217
00:08:54,000 --> 00:08:57,170
Oh, look at him gobble it down.

218
00:08:59,072 --> 00:09:00,773
And isn't that cute?

219
00:09:00,774 --> 00:09:02,474
The dog thinks he's Bart.

220
00:09:02,475 --> 00:09:03,710
[chuckling]

221
00:09:05,578 --> 00:09:06,780
[groans softly]

222
00:09:09,582 --> 00:09:11,784
[growling]

223
00:09:11,785 --> 00:09:13,085
They're not dead?

224
00:09:13,086 --> 00:09:15,087
But I... Meatball.

225
00:09:15,088 --> 00:09:16,222
Blood shovel.

226
00:09:16,322 --> 00:09:18,324
Save me, morning beer.

227
00:09:21,127 --> 00:09:23,630
- [whimpers]
- What's going on, boy?

228
00:09:23,730 --> 00:09:26,532
Don't you want to stick
your head out the window?

229
00:09:26,533 --> 00:09:28,268
[barking]

230
00:09:29,102 --> 00:09:30,704
[barking, panting]

231
00:09:36,242 --> 00:09:38,678
- Hmm.
- [whimpering]

232
00:09:41,981 --> 00:09:44,217
[growling]

233
00:09:50,523 --> 00:09:53,293
♪ ♪

234
00:10:13,546 --> 00:10:14,981
Mm...

235
00:10:16,116 --> 00:10:17,549
Bart! Bart!

236
00:10:17,550 --> 00:10:18,685
Yes, "bark"--

237
00:10:18,785 --> 00:10:20,853
that's the noise you make.

238
00:10:20,854 --> 00:10:23,023
Now go play outside with Bart.

239
00:10:23,123 --> 00:10:25,291
[growling]

240
00:10:28,061 --> 00:10:30,030
A Ouija board?

241
00:10:30,130 --> 00:10:31,564
"T...

242
00:10:31,664 --> 00:10:32,565
"H...

243
00:10:32,665 --> 00:10:34,200
"E...

244
00:10:34,300 --> 00:10:36,001
"dog and I switched bodies

245
00:10:36,002 --> 00:10:38,471
after being buried
in the same grave"?!

246
00:10:38,571 --> 00:10:40,173
Aah!

247
00:10:40,273 --> 00:10:42,208
Is that really you, Bart?

248
00:10:42,308 --> 00:10:44,009
[whimpering]

249
00:10:44,010 --> 00:10:47,180
But then Bart is the dog.

250
00:10:48,848 --> 00:10:52,252
Mom, I know this is
gonna sound crazy, but I think

251
00:10:52,352 --> 00:10:55,254
Bart and Santa's Little Helper
have swapped bodies!

252
00:10:55,255 --> 00:10:59,092
And I think you've swapped
bodies with the silly monster.

253
00:10:59,192 --> 00:11:00,460
[chuckling]

254
00:11:00,560 --> 00:11:02,128
Well, I'm off to the laundromat

255
00:11:02,228 --> 00:11:05,198
just to see
if anyone needs help.

256
00:11:06,032 --> 00:11:07,467
Lisa,

257
00:11:07,567 --> 00:11:09,202
if your little theory was true--

258
00:11:09,302 --> 00:11:10,503
and it's not--

259
00:11:10,603 --> 00:11:12,772
maybe your brother
is happier as DogBart.

260
00:11:12,872 --> 00:11:15,641
And maybe the pooch
is happier as BartDog.

261
00:11:15,642 --> 00:11:17,410
Wait, shouldn't that
be the other way around?

262
00:11:17,510 --> 00:11:20,780
If we're referring to Bart's
body with the dog inside of him,

263
00:11:20,880 --> 00:11:22,048
that should be BartDog.

264
00:11:22,148 --> 00:11:25,184
The dog with Bart inside
should be DogBart.

265
00:11:25,185 --> 00:11:28,755
No. If Bart's inside the dog,
it's BartDog.

266
00:11:28,855 --> 00:11:30,256
Soul first.

267
00:11:30,357 --> 00:11:31,757
Why would you do soul first?

268
00:11:31,758 --> 00:11:34,493
The first word
should be what we see.

269
00:11:34,494 --> 00:11:35,261
DogBart.

270
00:11:35,362 --> 00:11:36,496
No, BartDog.

271
00:11:36,596 --> 00:11:38,030
That's the only way
it makes sense.

272
00:11:38,031 --> 00:11:40,165
Either way,
the one I call BartDog

273
00:11:40,166 --> 00:11:42,669
- is chewing up your vodka hat.
- [gasps]

274
00:11:42,769 --> 00:11:43,936
My HatVodka!

275
00:11:43,937 --> 00:11:45,972
Why, you little...
[grunting]

276
00:11:46,072 --> 00:11:47,974
[growling]

277
00:11:50,343 --> 00:11:52,078
Aah!

278
00:11:54,781 --> 00:11:58,284
Hey, I just got bit
by this vicious mongrel.

279
00:11:58,385 --> 00:11:59,685
- [cackling]
- [growling]

280
00:11:59,686 --> 00:12:02,989
You know what we do
with mad dogs?

281
00:12:04,891 --> 00:12:08,561
Put... them... down.

282
00:12:08,661 --> 00:12:10,262
But that's Bart.

283
00:12:10,263 --> 00:12:12,766
[barking]

284
00:12:13,767 --> 00:12:16,068
[whimpering]

285
00:12:16,069 --> 00:12:19,039
Come on, boy.
We have to stop him.

286
00:12:23,176 --> 00:12:25,445
♪ ♪

287
00:12:26,680 --> 00:12:28,848
[howling]

288
00:12:34,254 --> 00:12:35,889
Whoa!

289
00:12:40,694 --> 00:12:42,094
Oh, no.

290
00:12:42,095 --> 00:12:43,697
What are we gonna do?

291
00:12:43,797 --> 00:12:46,299
["On Top of Spaghetti"
playing eerily]

292
00:12:52,839 --> 00:12:54,541
Thanks, boy.

293
00:12:57,844 --> 00:12:58,744
[exclaims]

294
00:12:58,745 --> 00:13:00,413
- Huh?
- [dogs barking]

295
00:13:03,216 --> 00:13:05,151
[screaming]

296
00:13:12,425 --> 00:13:13,360
[screaming, barking stops]

297
00:13:13,460 --> 00:13:16,930
Only some of that is sauce.

298
00:13:30,010 --> 00:13:32,645
Homie! Dinnertime!

299
00:13:32,746 --> 00:13:34,747
[meows] Woo-hoo!

300
00:13:34,748 --> 00:13:38,017
- [growling]
- [yowling]

301
00:13:38,018 --> 00:13:39,318
Should we help Dad?

302
00:13:39,319 --> 00:13:42,055
Eh.
At least he's exercising.

303
00:13:47,193 --> 00:13:48,995
[snoring]

304
00:13:50,530 --> 00:13:52,332
Ugh, this again?

305
00:13:53,333 --> 00:13:54,768
[sputters, coughs]

306
00:13:54,868 --> 00:13:57,436
How could your father
just up and leave us?

307
00:13:57,437 --> 00:13:59,938
At least Kirk Van Houten
had the courtesy

308
00:13:59,939 --> 00:14:01,908
to murder his family first.

309
00:14:02,008 --> 00:14:03,910
Mom, it's been seven years.

310
00:14:04,010 --> 00:14:06,813
And we still don't know
why Dad disappeared.

311
00:14:06,913 --> 00:14:09,482
My bet is he drowned
in a chocolate fountain.

312
00:14:09,582 --> 00:14:11,918
That's impossible.
Those scuba divers dredged

313
00:14:12,018 --> 00:14:14,054
every Hometown Buffet
in the state.

314
00:14:14,154 --> 00:14:17,524
Okay. Mom, Bart and I
have to go to driver's ed.

315
00:14:17,624 --> 00:14:19,893
Bye.
See you later.

316
00:14:26,066 --> 00:14:27,801
[Largo]
Welcome to driver's ed.

317
00:14:27,901 --> 00:14:29,235
For some of you,
it's your third time,

318
00:14:29,336 --> 00:14:32,971
because you parallel park
like Billy Joel on payday.

319
00:14:32,972 --> 00:14:35,107
[singsongy] Bart Simpson!

320
00:14:35,108 --> 00:14:38,411
And now, the four most beautiful
words for any teacher:

321
00:14:38,511 --> 00:14:40,280
let's watch a movie.

322
00:14:43,383 --> 00:14:45,418
[narrator reading]

323
00:14:47,053 --> 00:14:48,688
[Nelson]
Spelling sucks.

324
00:14:48,788 --> 00:14:49,855
[narrator]
Meet Gladys.

325
00:14:49,856 --> 00:14:51,591
She's running a little late,

326
00:14:51,691 --> 00:14:52,559
so she's doing her makeup

327
00:14:52,659 --> 00:14:55,095
while she drives.

328
00:14:55,195 --> 00:14:57,364
Hmm, that woman looks familiar.

329
00:14:57,464 --> 00:15:00,734
[narrator]
Yes, Gladys is going to end up
looking pretty.

330
00:15:00,834 --> 00:15:02,202
Pretty dead.

331
00:15:02,302 --> 00:15:03,403
[horn honks]

332
00:15:04,704 --> 00:15:06,139
Aah!

333
00:15:06,973 --> 00:15:09,309
[children screaming]

334
00:15:09,409 --> 00:15:11,110
[cheering]

335
00:15:11,111 --> 00:15:14,414
Bart, that lady
looked just like Dad.

336
00:15:16,016 --> 00:15:17,282
[scoffs]
No way.

337
00:15:17,283 --> 00:15:19,753
You've been huffing
too much sax wax.

338
00:15:20,387 --> 00:15:22,021
[narrator]
Now meet Rocco.

339
00:15:22,022 --> 00:15:23,889
Rocco thinks it's perfectly fine

340
00:15:23,890 --> 00:15:26,493
to eat lunch while driving.

341
00:15:27,594 --> 00:15:29,496
Aah!
[screaming]

342
00:15:33,767 --> 00:15:34,734
He's almost dead.

343
00:15:34,834 --> 00:15:36,635
And he's still eating.

344
00:15:36,636 --> 00:15:37,970
ThatisDad!

345
00:15:37,971 --> 00:15:41,507
But why would our missing father
be killed over and over again

346
00:15:41,508 --> 00:15:43,443
in a driver's ed film?

347
00:15:44,444 --> 00:15:45,745
[gasps]

348
00:15:52,986 --> 00:15:55,188
[Patty and Selma]
Hello, kids.

349
00:15:56,656 --> 00:15:57,657
- Aah!
- Aah

350
00:15:57,757 --> 00:15:58,758
- Aunts!
- Aunts!

351
00:15:58,858 --> 00:16:00,292
Sorry to scare you.

352
00:16:00,293 --> 00:16:02,896
We're just catching up
on our lurking.

353
00:16:02,996 --> 00:16:05,197
We think we saw our dad
in a driver's ed video

354
00:16:05,198 --> 00:16:08,368
and we're trying to figure out
how the hell that happened.

355
00:16:08,468 --> 00:16:09,569
[both huffing]

356
00:16:09,669 --> 00:16:12,572
Maybe we can help you find
the answers you're looking for.

357
00:16:12,672 --> 00:16:16,675
But first, wouldn't you like
to get your driver's licenses

358
00:16:16,676 --> 00:16:18,577
a little early?

359
00:16:18,578 --> 00:16:22,382
Well, of course. But we really
need to get to the bottom of...

360
00:16:24,684 --> 00:16:25,684
[gasps]

361
00:16:25,685 --> 00:16:28,221
Bart, no!

362
00:16:29,956 --> 00:16:31,223
!Ay, caramba!

363
00:16:31,224 --> 00:16:33,560
We're in the driver's ed video.

364
00:16:33,660 --> 00:16:34,794
[Homer humming a tune]

365
00:16:34,894 --> 00:16:36,496
[narrator reading]

366
00:16:37,330 --> 00:16:40,232
[chuckles]
I hear that guy all the time.

367
00:16:40,233 --> 00:16:42,335
Usually just before
I'm decapitated.

368
00:16:42,435 --> 00:16:45,338
Just once, I'd like
to end a drive capitated.

369
00:16:45,438 --> 00:16:47,374
Dad, I know
this is gonna sound crazy,

370
00:16:47,474 --> 00:16:50,810
but Patty and Selma are
actually horrible witches...

371
00:16:50,910 --> 00:16:52,378
- Duh.
- ...who condemned you

372
00:16:52,379 --> 00:16:55,614
to live inside this
deadly instructional video.

373
00:16:55,615 --> 00:16:57,851
You've been trapped
for seven years,

374
00:16:57,951 --> 00:16:59,953
getting brutally killed
again and again

375
00:17:00,053 --> 00:17:02,822
by your own terrible driving.

376
00:17:02,922 --> 00:17:04,690
But I'm a great driver.

377
00:17:04,691 --> 00:17:07,293
And so cool under pressure.

378
00:17:07,394 --> 00:17:08,862
[honks]

379
00:17:08,962 --> 00:17:10,129
Cut me off?

380
00:17:10,130 --> 00:17:12,332
Do your thing, road rage!

381
00:17:12,432 --> 00:17:13,366
No, Dad!

382
00:17:13,466 --> 00:17:15,969
"To escape these trials
and tribulations,

383
00:17:16,069 --> 00:17:18,371
"obey all traffic regulations.

384
00:17:18,471 --> 00:17:20,406
"Follow the rules,
each to the letter,

385
00:17:20,407 --> 00:17:23,643
or ye shall be trapped
forever and ever!"

386
00:17:23,743 --> 00:17:26,112
Okay, I'll drive
as careful as when I'm drunk

387
00:17:26,212 --> 00:17:28,448
and trying
not to get pulled over.

388
00:17:29,382 --> 00:17:31,584
Who the hell
is driving that thing?

389
00:17:31,685 --> 00:17:33,319
Look at the mud flaps.

390
00:17:38,458 --> 00:17:39,626
[all exhale]

391
00:17:45,098 --> 00:17:46,298
- Just speed up.
- Huh?

392
00:17:46,299 --> 00:17:48,134
If you go
exactly the speed limit,

393
00:17:48,234 --> 00:17:50,870
you should be able to make it
to that turnoff ahead.

394
00:17:50,970 --> 00:17:53,873
But you can't go over 55.

395
00:17:59,879 --> 00:18:02,182
[grunts]

396
00:18:03,583 --> 00:18:05,218
[both growl]

397
00:18:06,586 --> 00:18:08,221
[narrator reading]

398
00:18:09,022 --> 00:18:11,624
[all screaming]

399
00:18:11,725 --> 00:18:14,026
[cackling]

400
00:18:14,027 --> 00:18:15,060
What do I do?

401
00:18:15,061 --> 00:18:16,162
Take your foot off the gas,

402
00:18:16,262 --> 00:18:18,597
don't brake,
and steer into the skid.

403
00:18:18,598 --> 00:18:20,666
Which kid?
I don't see a kid.

404
00:18:20,667 --> 00:18:21,935
Who should I kill?

405
00:18:22,035 --> 00:18:24,637
[Lisa]
Not "kid," skid...!

406
00:18:27,440 --> 00:18:30,510
Well, I assume
it's smooth sailing from here.

407
00:18:30,610 --> 00:18:32,245
[narrator reading]

408
00:18:34,014 --> 00:18:36,516
[Homer whimpering]

409
00:18:38,752 --> 00:18:40,387
[groans]

410
00:18:47,827 --> 00:18:48,962
[exclaiming]

411
00:18:49,062 --> 00:18:50,797
Wait, Homer
can't break the rules.

412
00:18:50,897 --> 00:18:53,633
- But we can.
- [grunting]

413
00:18:55,035 --> 00:18:57,504
[yelling]

414
00:18:57,937 --> 00:19:00,707
[grunting, exclaiming]

415
00:19:06,579 --> 00:19:09,114
Okay, Dad,
just one more obstacle.

416
00:19:09,115 --> 00:19:11,418
[cackling]

417
00:19:12,218 --> 00:19:14,688
Don't forget to signal.

418
00:19:14,788 --> 00:19:16,089
Aah!
No problem.

419
00:19:16,189 --> 00:19:17,791
I'll just use a hand signal.

420
00:19:18,858 --> 00:19:21,294
Aah!
My signaling arm!

421
00:19:22,862 --> 00:19:24,597
Oh.

422
00:19:29,135 --> 00:19:30,402
We're gonna make it!

423
00:19:30,403 --> 00:19:33,440
I can't wait to hug
your mother again.

424
00:19:33,540 --> 00:19:34,607
Oh.

425
00:19:36,876 --> 00:19:38,877
Complete the final

426
00:19:38,878 --> 00:19:41,715
DMV challenge

427
00:19:41,815 --> 00:19:43,750
or be trapped forever

428
00:19:43,850 --> 00:19:46,286
in driver's ed hell.

429
00:19:46,386 --> 00:19:48,153
Challenge?
What challenge?

430
00:19:48,154 --> 00:19:50,990
Parallel parking!

431
00:19:51,091 --> 00:19:52,425
[all screaming]

432
00:19:53,093 --> 00:19:54,793
[Homer]
I can't parallel park.

433
00:19:54,794 --> 00:19:56,996
I have no arms
where my arms should be.

434
00:19:57,097 --> 00:19:58,732
I can do it.

435
00:19:59,366 --> 00:20:02,602
I guess it's up to you, Bart.

436
00:20:03,136 --> 00:20:05,137
Okay, remember to pull up

437
00:20:05,138 --> 00:20:06,906
about two or three feet away,

438
00:20:07,007 --> 00:20:08,007
check your mirrors, and--

439
00:20:08,008 --> 00:20:09,476
Aah!

440
00:20:11,845 --> 00:20:13,747
- No!
- No!

441
00:20:22,022 --> 00:20:23,622
My Homie!

442
00:20:23,623 --> 00:20:25,692
[both moan]

443
00:20:25,792 --> 00:20:29,029
So where did you learn
to parallel park like that?

444
00:20:29,129 --> 00:20:30,597
That's parallel parking?

445
00:20:30,697 --> 00:20:34,768
Oh. But what happened
to Patty and Selma?

446
00:20:38,872 --> 00:20:40,707
- No...!
- No...!

447
00:20:40,807 --> 00:20:43,176
Captioning sponsored by
20th CENTURY FOX TELEVISION

448
00:20:43,276 --> 00:20:44,977
and FOX BROADCASTING COMPANY

449
00:20:44,978 --> 00:20:47,747
Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH
access.wgbh.org

450
00:21:31,791 --> 00:21:33,860
[shrieks]