1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:04,162 WWW.MY-SUBS.CO 1 00:00:13,555 --> 00:00:17,158 If I need you one last time 2 00:00:17,559 --> 00:00:21,162 If I need you one last time 3 00:00:21,604 --> 00:00:24,999 If I need you one last time 4 00:00:25,400 --> 00:00:29,092 Can I meet you one last time? 5 00:00:29,112 --> 00:00:32,429 Baby, I need you now for your... 6 00:00:32,449 --> 00:00:35,098 This is the kind of quality time I've always dreamt about. 7 00:00:35,118 --> 00:00:37,762 Wow, I forgot you were even here. 8 00:00:38,163 --> 00:00:39,097 Hey. 9 00:00:39,497 --> 00:00:42,981 When are you recording the podcast? Do you need some more Noah's Corner? 10 00:00:43,001 --> 00:00:45,108 We always need more Noah's Corner. 11 00:00:45,128 --> 00:00:48,153 Um, I'm not sure when we're recording this week. 12 00:00:48,173 --> 00:00:49,070 Okay. 13 00:00:49,090 --> 00:00:50,739 What are you guys doing here? 14 00:00:50,759 --> 00:00:52,073 - Hey! - No way! 15 00:00:52,093 --> 00:00:53,742 - Hey! - Gabe, how are ya? 16 00:00:53,762 --> 00:00:55,535 - I'll join ya. - Oh, okay. 17 00:00:55,555 --> 00:00:58,204 You guys, uh, see the Warhol piece inside? 18 00:00:58,224 --> 00:00:59,956 - No. - No, we didn't come for the art. 19 00:00:59,976 --> 00:01:02,500 We came because they have a good gift shop and excellent chai. 20 00:01:02,520 --> 00:01:03,501 - Mm. - Yeah. 21 00:01:03,521 --> 00:01:04,419 So no art at all? 22 00:01:04,439 --> 00:01:06,004 No, I promised her we wouldn't. 23 00:01:06,024 --> 00:01:07,922 My body shuts down inside museums. 24 00:01:07,942 --> 00:01:10,842 I stand in front of a piece of art, and I feel compelled to say 25 00:01:10,862 --> 00:01:14,054 I see something I don't actually see. I can't be myself in front of art. 26 00:01:14,074 --> 00:01:16,222 Yeah, I get that. How's it going at Ahava? 27 00:01:16,242 --> 00:01:18,892 - Was I right about that place or what? - Oh. 28 00:01:18,912 --> 00:01:20,894 - Right? - So right. So right. 29 00:01:20,914 --> 00:01:23,438 It's great. You know, Neil and Cami. 30 00:01:23,458 --> 00:01:25,810 - Mm. - They got very cool ideas. 31 00:01:26,211 --> 00:01:28,318 Um, how are you? How's the fam? 32 00:01:28,338 --> 00:01:30,653 Oh man. Um... 33 00:01:30,673 --> 00:01:32,030 Yeah, Abby and I are done. 34 00:01:32,050 --> 00:01:33,323 - Whoa! - So... 35 00:01:33,343 --> 00:01:35,658 - Oh my God. I can't believe it. - Yeah. 36 00:01:35,678 --> 00:01:38,031 - You guys seemed so happy. - Yeah, but it was fake. 37 00:01:38,848 --> 00:01:40,205 Instagram is fake. 38 00:01:40,225 --> 00:01:41,998 Life is a wild journey, man. 39 00:01:42,018 --> 00:01:43,500 You do seem lighter. 40 00:01:43,520 --> 00:01:46,836 Thank you. Yeah. We both are. We both are. I think it's for the best. 41 00:01:46,856 --> 00:01:50,507 Listen, I've counseled a lot of couples going through some tough times. 42 00:01:50,527 --> 00:01:52,759 I'm your rabbi now. I'd love to talk with you. 43 00:01:52,779 --> 00:01:55,929 Hopefully, there's possible solutions that don't involve separation. 44 00:01:55,949 --> 00:01:59,432 Obviously, it's not just you and Abby now. There's Afternoon. There's Jesse Charles. 45 00:01:59,452 --> 00:02:01,643 Why don't you come by my office tomorrow? 46 00:02:01,663 --> 00:02:03,686 I don't know. 47 00:02:03,706 --> 00:02:05,897 It would be an honor. Whatever comes of it. 48 00:02:05,917 --> 00:02:07,732 - Okay, let's do it. Great. - Okay, good. 49 00:02:07,752 --> 00:02:09,943 - I look forward to it. See you then. - I love it. 50 00:02:09,963 --> 00:02:12,362 - Text me, let me know when. - Okay. Love you guys. 51 00:02:12,382 --> 00:02:13,279 Love you too. 52 00:02:13,299 --> 00:02:14,280 Hm. 53 00:02:14,300 --> 00:02:15,485 Oh man. 54 00:02:16,010 --> 00:02:18,243 I wonder who I can set Abby up with. 55 00:02:18,263 --> 00:02:19,202 Joanne. 56 00:02:19,222 --> 00:02:20,245 What? 57 00:02:20,265 --> 00:02:21,746 Any marriage ending is sad. 58 00:02:21,766 --> 00:02:22,747 I don't agree. 59 00:02:22,767 --> 00:02:26,584 I think you have one life to live, and sometimes, the person you marry 60 00:02:26,604 --> 00:02:29,879 isn't the person you end up being married to. 61 00:02:29,899 --> 00:02:30,880 Did that make sense? 62 00:02:30,900 --> 00:02:33,675 Not really, but I've seen a lot of couples that are ready to give up, 63 00:02:33,695 --> 00:02:36,344 and they found a way to fall back in love. It happens. 64 00:02:36,364 --> 00:02:39,347 I'm sure that that happens, but I think there's also couples 65 00:02:39,367 --> 00:02:42,308 who stay together way too long, and that makes it worse. 66 00:02:42,328 --> 00:02:43,768 Especially on the kids. 67 00:02:43,788 --> 00:02:46,271 No. Obviously, your parents' situation is different. 68 00:02:46,291 --> 00:02:48,231 Is that the only way it can be different? 69 00:02:48,251 --> 00:02:51,151 Like, can you only get divorced if one of them is secretly gay? 70 00:02:51,171 --> 00:02:53,987 - Yeah. 100%. Listen. - Where are you going? 71 00:02:54,007 --> 00:02:56,322 You know what? I gotta go. I'm meeting Batya soon. 72 00:02:56,342 --> 00:02:57,490 Who's Batya? 73 00:02:57,510 --> 00:03:00,655 That would be your mother. She, uh, picked her Hebrew name. 74 00:03:01,055 --> 00:03:04,289 Wow. Okay, well, let me know if she shows up. 75 00:03:04,309 --> 00:03:06,833 Because she usually gives up on stuff right about now. 76 00:03:06,853 --> 00:03:07,959 - Batya will be there. - Okay. 77 00:03:07,979 --> 00:03:10,503 - You good with all this stuff? - Yeah, I'll clean all this up. 78 00:03:10,523 --> 00:03:13,131 Yep, and then if you need me, I'll be in the kitchen, okay? 79 00:03:13,151 --> 00:03:14,215 I know you will. 80 00:03:14,235 --> 00:03:15,341 All right, bye. 81 00:03:15,361 --> 00:03:18,381 Who's your boyfriend now? 82 00:03:21,242 --> 00:03:24,893 So, number one, I wanted to start a relationship with your synagogue 83 00:03:24,913 --> 00:03:26,889 as it seems the right fit. 84 00:03:27,457 --> 00:03:29,939 Does she know we know each other, or is that illegal? 85 00:03:29,959 --> 00:03:31,191 Yep, it's legal. 86 00:03:31,211 --> 00:03:33,735 Okay, then. And, uh, number two, 87 00:03:33,755 --> 00:03:37,697 I wanted to do conversion classes here because I love Noah. 88 00:03:37,717 --> 00:03:40,617 Both on the inside and out. And looks are very important to me. 89 00:03:40,637 --> 00:03:41,701 Me too. 90 00:03:41,721 --> 00:03:43,119 Same page. 91 00:03:43,139 --> 00:03:44,579 - He's gorgeous. - Okay, well, listen. 92 00:03:44,599 --> 00:03:46,748 Typical conversion takes about a year. 93 00:03:46,768 --> 00:03:49,626 Unless, I don't know, unless Ahava has a different protocol. 94 00:03:49,646 --> 00:03:51,878 We have the half year, the "loose conversion," 95 00:03:51,898 --> 00:03:55,715 and we have the full year, which we call the "conversion no one's ever asked for." 96 00:03:55,735 --> 00:03:57,467 Six months doesn't seem like enough. 97 00:03:57,487 --> 00:04:00,845 I'm very loose, so I would love the loose conversion. 98 00:04:00,865 --> 00:04:02,931 You're not even gonna feel it. It's painless. 99 00:04:02,951 --> 00:04:05,636 - It'll be over before you know it. - Is it cheaper? 100 00:04:06,329 --> 00:04:07,268 - Oh. - No, it's... 101 00:04:07,288 --> 00:04:10,230 We don't charge anyone to become a Jew. We see it as a blessing. 102 00:04:10,250 --> 00:04:13,149 Oh, well, I've already been studying Judaism on my own. 103 00:04:13,169 --> 00:04:16,945 I stay up all night reading about it. I mean, do you wanna test me? 104 00:04:16,965 --> 00:04:19,197 - Ask me anything Jewish. - We don't have to test you. 105 00:04:19,217 --> 00:04:20,990 - No, I wanna test her. - Oh, okay. 106 00:04:21,010 --> 00:04:25,161 Um, okay, what are two objects that are waved around during Sukkot? 107 00:04:25,181 --> 00:04:26,079 Oh, that's hard. 108 00:04:26,099 --> 00:04:28,576 - Well, she wants to be-- - Lulav and etrog. 109 00:04:29,143 --> 00:04:30,708 Wow. 110 00:04:30,728 --> 00:04:33,002 All right. What's the name of Moses's wife? 111 00:04:33,022 --> 00:04:36,673 Zipporah, also known as Sephora, 112 00:04:36,693 --> 00:04:39,425 later to be used by an esteemed beauty supply chain. 113 00:04:39,445 --> 00:04:43,096 I love you. I respect you. This is amazing. I love you. 114 00:04:43,116 --> 00:04:44,639 Honestly, you can't stump me. 115 00:04:44,659 --> 00:04:45,932 I'm a speed reader, 116 00:04:45,952 --> 00:04:49,560 and I also know what happened on every single day of my life. 117 00:04:49,580 --> 00:04:51,062 Just like Marilu Henner. 118 00:04:51,082 --> 00:04:54,482 Uh, listen, Lynn, you seem to really love Jewish learning, 119 00:04:54,502 --> 00:04:57,485 so I really think the year-long course is right for you because-- 120 00:04:57,505 --> 00:05:00,905 - No chance. - She's a six-month girl. 121 00:05:00,925 --> 00:05:03,783 Well, thank you for a perfectly gorgeous lunch date. 122 00:05:03,803 --> 00:05:07,704 Aw. And thank you for teaching me how to pronounce "salad niçois." 123 00:05:07,724 --> 00:05:10,331 - Niçoise. - Are you sure there's a-- 124 00:05:10,351 --> 00:05:12,417 - No. It's niçoise. - I thought you said... Okay. 125 00:05:12,437 --> 00:05:14,419 I have about 15 minutes till my next patient. 126 00:05:14,439 --> 00:05:16,629 - I gotta tell you about this guy. - Mm. 127 00:05:16,649 --> 00:05:20,842 Really interesting. Extreme kleptomaniac. It's wild. 128 00:05:20,862 --> 00:05:22,719 Isn't that supposed to be confidential? 129 00:05:22,739 --> 00:05:26,222 No. Patient confidentiality is one of the things that Freud was wrong about. 130 00:05:26,242 --> 00:05:28,761 - He was wrong about a lot. This guy... - Andy? 131 00:05:29,495 --> 00:05:31,060 Andy! 132 00:05:31,080 --> 00:05:32,306 Helena. 133 00:05:33,249 --> 00:05:35,565 Oh my God. You look stunning. 134 00:05:35,585 --> 00:05:37,525 - So do you. - Look at your hair. 135 00:05:37,545 --> 00:05:40,320 Your skin. Are you getting younger on me? 136 00:05:40,340 --> 00:05:41,321 Only in spirit. 137 00:05:41,341 --> 00:05:43,568 - Uh-huh. - But thank you. 138 00:05:46,763 --> 00:05:48,369 So wait, how do you know each other? 139 00:05:48,389 --> 00:05:50,241 - She's my ex-patient. - We dated. 140 00:05:51,351 --> 00:05:53,041 - Oh! - I forgot about that. 141 00:05:53,061 --> 00:05:55,580 We did. 142 00:05:56,689 --> 00:05:59,459 I should go. Uh, it was... it was nice seeing you. 143 00:05:59,942 --> 00:06:02,044 - Nice to meet you. - I'll see you. 144 00:06:03,946 --> 00:06:07,013 - Yeah, that was hilarious. - Mm. 145 00:06:07,033 --> 00:06:10,516 I mean, was it? I thought that I was the only patient you dated. 146 00:06:10,536 --> 00:06:13,973 Honestly, it wasn't even a thing. It was like six months or something, so... 147 00:06:14,374 --> 00:06:15,897 Oh, okay. 148 00:06:15,917 --> 00:06:20,860 I mean, six months is a little long-ish to forget, but sure, okay. 149 00:06:20,880 --> 00:06:22,487 - Morgan, I... - It's fine. 150 00:06:22,507 --> 00:06:24,609 I don't even think of her like that. It was... 151 00:06:28,763 --> 00:06:30,787 Why do you doubt that this is real for me? 152 00:06:30,807 --> 00:06:33,831 Because this is the three-week mark, Mom, 153 00:06:33,851 --> 00:06:37,418 where you quit something you thought you were gonna do for the rest of your life, 154 00:06:37,438 --> 00:06:40,630 and I just wanna make sure you don't feel embarrassed 155 00:06:40,650 --> 00:06:42,548 if you're already over it, you know? 156 00:06:42,568 --> 00:06:44,801 No, this is different. This is real. 157 00:06:44,821 --> 00:06:47,929 I... I... I am Jewish. I am sure. 158 00:06:47,949 --> 00:06:50,932 What the hell? Um, how... How are you sure though? 159 00:06:50,952 --> 00:06:52,720 I'm sure, sure, sure. 160 00:06:53,746 --> 00:06:57,808 Are you asking this because I'm converting, or because you're not? 161 00:06:58,376 --> 00:07:01,562 Both. I don't know. Tell me this. 162 00:07:02,088 --> 00:07:03,523 How do you know? 163 00:07:04,465 --> 00:07:05,691 I feel it. 164 00:07:06,384 --> 00:07:10,451 I've spent my whole life feeling like everyone else had something I didn't have. 165 00:07:10,471 --> 00:07:13,407 And now I feel I have it. 166 00:07:13,808 --> 00:07:16,541 Oh my God. This is real. For the first time. 167 00:07:16,561 --> 00:07:19,669 This is the thing you picked that turns out to be real. This is in... 168 00:07:19,689 --> 00:07:21,337 This sucks. 169 00:07:21,357 --> 00:07:22,755 Be happy for me. 170 00:07:22,775 --> 00:07:24,919 I have faith, and it feels... 171 00:07:25,319 --> 00:07:27,927 You know, it's like I was never at peace, 172 00:07:27,947 --> 00:07:29,762 and now I feel at peace. 173 00:07:29,782 --> 00:07:32,635 No, I'm... I'm happy that you're at peace. I really am. 174 00:07:33,035 --> 00:07:36,185 I'm just saying that it would make my life a whole lot easier 175 00:07:36,205 --> 00:07:37,895 if I could feel that too. 176 00:07:37,915 --> 00:07:40,148 Well, everything happens when it's right. 177 00:07:40,168 --> 00:07:44,485 You know, you may have to go at your own speed, just inch by inch. 178 00:07:44,505 --> 00:07:47,525 I don't think I have time to go inch by inch. 179 00:07:48,009 --> 00:07:51,617 Noah and I can't move forward if I don't start feeling something soon. 180 00:07:51,637 --> 00:07:53,953 And meanwhile, Morgan's racing to the altar. 181 00:07:53,973 --> 00:07:56,956 - You know, not a road bump in sight. - You'll get there. 182 00:07:56,976 --> 00:07:58,458 I have faith. 183 00:07:58,478 --> 00:07:59,787 I know. 184 00:08:00,188 --> 00:08:01,706 Quit bragging about it. 185 00:08:03,774 --> 00:08:06,836 We should be done already. This is taking way too long. 186 00:08:08,946 --> 00:08:11,132 Oh. Hey, Fabrizio. 187 00:08:11,908 --> 00:08:13,806 - Oh, hey. - How's it going? 188 00:08:13,826 --> 00:08:15,808 Just dealing with this stupid pool guy. 189 00:08:15,828 --> 00:08:18,644 - Can I help you with this? - Oh my God. Yeah, I'm in a rush. 190 00:08:18,664 --> 00:08:22,356 Joanne left this stuff at my house, and I... Can you leave it on her front step? 191 00:08:22,376 --> 00:08:24,192 - Yeah, yeah, sure thing. - Thank you. 192 00:08:24,212 --> 00:08:25,735 How's the podcast going? 193 00:08:25,755 --> 00:08:27,028 Oh, uh, great. 194 00:08:27,048 --> 00:08:30,860 Yeah, Joanne actually gave you a shout-out on the last episode. It was hilarious. 195 00:08:31,344 --> 00:08:33,159 Oh, cool, yeah. I'll check it out. 196 00:08:33,179 --> 00:08:34,952 Okay. Thank you. 197 00:08:34,972 --> 00:08:37,038 Feels like we spent enough time with my mom. 198 00:08:37,058 --> 00:08:39,040 She asked if we had plans. 199 00:08:39,060 --> 00:08:40,124 Yoo-hoo! 200 00:08:40,144 --> 00:08:41,417 Hey, come in. 201 00:08:41,437 --> 00:08:42,960 Shoes on or off? 202 00:08:42,980 --> 00:08:44,837 Oh, uh, whatever you like. 203 00:08:44,857 --> 00:08:46,714 Hey, Mom, why do I hear Dad's voice? 204 00:08:46,734 --> 00:08:50,551 Uh, we spent the afternoon shopping, and he asked what I was doing for dinner. 205 00:08:50,571 --> 00:08:53,304 Me and your mom are back together. I prayed the gay away. 206 00:08:53,324 --> 00:08:55,723 - Oh, you should have more kids. - We had sex all afternoon. 207 00:08:55,743 --> 00:08:57,225 Oh God! 208 00:08:57,245 --> 00:09:01,604 So I was out there today. I just love the groovy vibe at Ahava. 209 00:09:01,624 --> 00:09:04,106 It... It feels like the perfect place for me. 210 00:09:04,126 --> 00:09:06,520 Yes, it is a groovy vibe. 211 00:09:07,088 --> 00:09:09,946 Noah, now be truthful. Are you into groovy vibes? 212 00:09:09,966 --> 00:09:12,240 - I love groovy vibes. - Okay. 213 00:09:12,260 --> 00:09:15,785 If it's not groovy, get it out. It's not my vibe, you know? 214 00:09:15,805 --> 00:09:18,412 - You guys went shopping? - Lynn got me this sweater. 215 00:09:18,432 --> 00:09:19,830 - What do you think? - Great. 216 00:09:19,850 --> 00:09:21,707 Isn't it wonderful? Don't you love it? 217 00:09:21,727 --> 00:09:23,668 - When did I get man boobs? - Just go one size up. 218 00:09:23,688 --> 00:09:25,247 Don't put yourself down. 219 00:09:26,107 --> 00:09:28,923 I think it's so cool you guys have such a nice relationship. 220 00:09:28,943 --> 00:09:30,258 Yeah, I know. 221 00:09:30,278 --> 00:09:34,637 I mean, when I got divorced, it was hell for a while. Absolute hell. 222 00:09:34,657 --> 00:09:37,098 But we're a better couple now than ever before. 223 00:09:37,118 --> 00:09:38,933 - Yeah? - Lynn is a saint. 224 00:09:38,953 --> 00:09:40,434 The strongest woman I know. 225 00:09:40,454 --> 00:09:42,937 - What about me? - Like I said, the strongest woman I know. 226 00:09:42,957 --> 00:09:44,855 And we still fight. 227 00:09:44,875 --> 00:09:48,067 I mean, sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night, 228 00:09:48,087 --> 00:09:52,029 and I'm so angry at something I remembered that happened when we were together. 229 00:09:52,049 --> 00:09:55,157 And she calls me. I mean, I let her get it all out, 230 00:09:55,177 --> 00:09:58,536 and then I say I'm sorry, and then I beg her to let me get back to sleep. 231 00:09:58,556 --> 00:10:00,580 - Can't be good for your dating. - No. 232 00:10:00,600 --> 00:10:03,035 Well, Dad never dates anyone long enough for them to care. 233 00:10:03,519 --> 00:10:05,209 - Okay. - You know what I mean. 234 00:10:05,229 --> 00:10:07,253 You and Mom aren't commitment people. 235 00:10:07,273 --> 00:10:09,547 Honey, to be fair, you're not much better. 236 00:10:09,567 --> 00:10:11,632 You went to four different high schools. 237 00:10:11,652 --> 00:10:14,552 You were a cosmetologist and an interior designer at that time, 238 00:10:14,572 --> 00:10:17,096 and, um, I haven't seen you give a facial in a while. 239 00:10:17,116 --> 00:10:19,765 - You went to four different high schools? - Yeah. 240 00:10:19,785 --> 00:10:21,976 Five if you count the two days of homeschooling. 241 00:10:21,996 --> 00:10:25,104 High school was hard. I kept wanting to reinvent myself, 242 00:10:25,124 --> 00:10:27,273 but then I was still myself wherever I went. 243 00:10:27,293 --> 00:10:30,067 And we gave her space, you know, to find herself, you know, 244 00:10:30,087 --> 00:10:31,647 figure out who she was. 245 00:10:32,048 --> 00:10:33,566 I think it was a good thing. 246 00:10:34,675 --> 00:10:36,485 I love who she turned into. 247 00:10:37,136 --> 00:10:39,530 I think she's faking it around you. 248 00:10:42,808 --> 00:10:44,243 Where are you going? 249 00:10:44,977 --> 00:10:46,375 Thailand. 250 00:10:46,395 --> 00:10:47,335 - What? - Yep. 251 00:10:47,355 --> 00:10:50,755 It was very last-minute. I just booked it. I had points. I just did it. 252 00:10:50,775 --> 00:10:53,586 - Hi. Who are you? - I am someone who tries new things. 253 00:10:54,445 --> 00:10:56,510 Did I tell you that I did surf camp? 254 00:10:56,530 --> 00:10:58,679 No, you didn't tell me that you did... How was that? 255 00:10:58,699 --> 00:11:00,640 - It was really awful. - It was bad? 256 00:11:00,660 --> 00:11:03,851 Didn't get up on the board even once, and I did almost drown. 257 00:11:03,871 --> 00:11:05,269 But I tried something new. 258 00:11:05,289 --> 00:11:07,229 - Ah, Beck... - Mm-hmm. 259 00:11:07,249 --> 00:11:10,107 I just... I feel like you're in such a great place. 260 00:11:10,127 --> 00:11:12,193 - Like a strange, great place... - Mm. 261 00:11:12,213 --> 00:11:13,736 But such a great place. 262 00:11:13,756 --> 00:11:15,529 Thank you. I really am. 263 00:11:15,549 --> 00:11:18,699 And I mean, I really was not for a long time. 264 00:11:18,719 --> 00:11:20,201 - Sure. - Famously. 265 00:11:20,221 --> 00:11:24,955 But I feel like I'm just so glad that Noah broke up with me. 266 00:11:24,975 --> 00:11:29,205 Like, our last conversation, it weirdly set me free. 267 00:11:29,897 --> 00:11:31,874 I know that sounds corny, but it's really true. 268 00:11:32,983 --> 00:11:36,217 I am so happy that you said it sounds corny. 269 00:11:36,237 --> 00:11:39,261 - Yeah. Okay. - So I didn't have to. 270 00:11:39,281 --> 00:11:41,889 - Good one. - Fun! Look at the rosemary! 271 00:11:41,909 --> 00:11:44,183 - Yeah, that's really pretty. - Okay, wait, cheers! 272 00:11:44,203 --> 00:11:45,429 Cheers! 273 00:11:54,422 --> 00:11:55,444 What's up, loser? 274 00:11:55,464 --> 00:11:57,274 Wait, you're outside? 275 00:11:57,925 --> 00:11:58,739 What's wrong? 276 00:11:58,759 --> 00:12:00,319 Oh man! 277 00:12:00,720 --> 00:12:02,910 - I really liked Dr. Andy. - I know. 278 00:12:02,930 --> 00:12:05,121 - I feel so betrayed. - Me too. 279 00:12:05,141 --> 00:12:06,831 You guys seemed so happy. 280 00:12:06,851 --> 00:12:11,460 I mean, that's what the confusing part is. Like, Dr. Andy makes me happy. 281 00:12:11,480 --> 00:12:14,046 Is this the kind of thing where something like this happens, 282 00:12:14,066 --> 00:12:18,050 and it makes you not trust him, but also, like... it? 283 00:12:18,070 --> 00:12:19,171 Yes. 284 00:12:20,239 --> 00:12:21,929 I don't know, but he dotes on me. 285 00:12:21,949 --> 00:12:26,142 Oh, yeah, no, I mean, it's crazy doting. It's like you're his little Pekingese dog. 286 00:12:26,162 --> 00:12:28,144 I know, then he drops these little bombs. 287 00:12:28,164 --> 00:12:31,856 Like, he doesn't talk to his family, and he can't go to Texas. 288 00:12:31,876 --> 00:12:34,692 That's cool. That's like Thelma and Louise. That's kinda hot. 289 00:12:34,712 --> 00:12:38,863 And today was the biggest bomb of all. Like, I feel completely thrown. 290 00:12:38,883 --> 00:12:41,866 Like, I was living in, like, one version of reality, 291 00:12:41,886 --> 00:12:44,702 and now I'm in a completely different version. 292 00:12:44,722 --> 00:12:48,664 Like... Like, the Dr. Andy who loves me and makes me feel so happy, 293 00:12:48,684 --> 00:12:51,078 just, like, isn't real. 294 00:12:53,272 --> 00:12:55,880 I always think the only way you're really gonna know somebody 295 00:12:55,900 --> 00:12:59,425 is if you can, like, steal their phone and just, like, spend an hour with it. 296 00:12:59,445 --> 00:13:03,632 See their Instagram algorithm. That's gonna tell you who they are. 297 00:13:04,867 --> 00:13:07,391 Oh my God. We actually could. He's dead asleep. 298 00:13:07,411 --> 00:13:10,102 Every time I leave, he just shuts down like a robot. 299 00:13:10,122 --> 00:13:11,891 It's another weird thing about him. 300 00:13:12,291 --> 00:13:15,441 Okay, we have a plan. Buckle your seat belt, baby. 301 00:13:15,461 --> 00:13:18,063 Why am I... I was watching the game. 302 00:13:18,464 --> 00:13:22,031 Oh God. I know it's weird, but sometimes I forget how to have fun. 303 00:13:22,051 --> 00:13:25,242 Running around telling everyone, like, "I'm so fun." 304 00:13:25,262 --> 00:13:28,621 But even I can see that a fun person would, like, never say that. 305 00:13:28,641 --> 00:13:30,242 - Does that make sense? - Mm. 306 00:13:31,560 --> 00:13:34,788 How are you and Sash doing? Are things better, or... 307 00:13:35,189 --> 00:13:38,375 I don't even know how me and Sash are doing, to be honest. 308 00:13:38,776 --> 00:13:39,965 - Right. - Right. 309 00:13:39,985 --> 00:13:41,717 I mean, can I? 310 00:13:41,737 --> 00:13:42,885 You always can. 311 00:13:42,905 --> 00:13:45,387 You guys got married 'cause you were pregnant. 312 00:13:45,407 --> 00:13:47,723 I mean, you were so young. 313 00:13:47,743 --> 00:13:49,183 - Babies. - Babies. 314 00:13:49,203 --> 00:13:53,229 Exactly. We were friends before, and we're gonna be friends forever. 315 00:13:53,249 --> 00:13:55,893 You know, no matter what, but 316 00:13:56,669 --> 00:13:59,521 is Sasha who I would pick today? 317 00:14:00,756 --> 00:14:01,774 Oh wow. 318 00:14:02,800 --> 00:14:04,782 - Anyway, you were gonna show me... - Yeah. 319 00:14:04,802 --> 00:14:06,867 Who are you talking to on Bumble? 320 00:14:06,887 --> 00:14:08,536 We are having a good time. 321 00:14:08,556 --> 00:14:10,950 Okay, fine, fine, fine. Fine. 322 00:14:12,142 --> 00:14:15,626 - Rebecca. He has so many tattoos! - I know. 323 00:14:15,646 --> 00:14:18,212 - And I sent him a message. - Esther, you didn't! 324 00:14:18,232 --> 00:14:22,258 We need to come up with a fake reason for why we're trying to get into this phone. 325 00:14:22,278 --> 00:14:24,677 - Okay. This is exciting. - Yeah, I know. 326 00:14:24,697 --> 00:14:28,175 - Okay, so my beloved aunt died. - Okay. 327 00:14:28,659 --> 00:14:29,890 Her name was... 328 00:14:29,910 --> 00:14:32,017 Uh, Pamela Streisand. 329 00:14:32,037 --> 00:14:35,187 Sounds fake. It sounds like you thought of Barbra Streisand and Pamela Anderson 330 00:14:35,207 --> 00:14:36,272 and put them together. 331 00:14:36,292 --> 00:14:38,482 We're so connected. How did you know I did that? 332 00:14:38,502 --> 00:14:40,401 Because you're an idiot. Okay, so... 333 00:14:40,421 --> 00:14:42,736 - Pamela McMillan... - McMillan. 334 00:14:42,756 --> 00:14:45,489 ...was an acclaimed poet, 335 00:14:45,509 --> 00:14:49,618 and this is her greatest book of poems. 336 00:14:49,638 --> 00:14:51,954 - Okay, that's really good. - I know. 337 00:14:51,974 --> 00:14:54,498 Nobody can name a poet but they don't wanna admit they can't. 338 00:14:54,518 --> 00:14:55,416 Exactly. 339 00:14:55,436 --> 00:14:57,585 Uh, Morgan? Morgan? 340 00:14:57,605 --> 00:14:59,253 - Yes. Hi. That's me. - Hi. 341 00:14:59,273 --> 00:15:01,422 - Should I be British for this? - Yeah. Yeah, yeah. 342 00:15:01,442 --> 00:15:03,591 Welcome. My name is Terry. How can I help you? 343 00:15:03,611 --> 00:15:04,758 Hello, Terry. 344 00:15:04,778 --> 00:15:06,547 Hi, Terry. 345 00:15:06,947 --> 00:15:08,178 - I can't do this. - No. Kill it. 346 00:15:08,198 --> 00:15:10,639 My aunt died. Pamela McMillan. 347 00:15:10,659 --> 00:15:12,516 - And-- - Oh, she's a very famous poet. 348 00:15:12,536 --> 00:15:17,187 Wrote mostly about, uh, post-famine Ireland, whatever. 349 00:15:17,207 --> 00:15:20,900 Yeah, of course, he knows. So, any case, we are trying to get into her phone 350 00:15:20,920 --> 00:15:27,175 so that we can retrieve her last and perhaps greatest work. Is... Yeah. 351 00:15:27,176 --> 00:15:32,031 Okay, yeah. That's not a believable story in any way, shape, or form. So... 352 00:15:32,848 --> 00:15:33,662 Really? 353 00:15:33,682 --> 00:15:34,580 Yeah. 354 00:15:34,600 --> 00:15:38,704 Okay, so, the truth is, Terry, that my fiancé, 355 00:15:39,313 --> 00:15:40,502 he lied about something, 356 00:15:40,522 --> 00:15:44,173 and we are trying to figure out if he's lying about other things too. 357 00:15:44,193 --> 00:15:49,178 And so you want me to illegally break into his phone and help you out? 358 00:15:49,198 --> 00:15:51,383 Yeah. But we would 359 00:15:52,284 --> 00:15:55,559 prefer that you use a different term than illegally. 360 00:15:55,579 --> 00:15:57,061 - Oh. Of course. - Yeah. 361 00:15:57,081 --> 00:16:00,434 What was I thinking? Okay, so what word should we use? 362 00:16:01,126 --> 00:16:02,775 Ooh. Broad-mindedly? 363 00:16:02,795 --> 00:16:04,276 - Unconventionally. - Yeah. 364 00:16:04,296 --> 00:16:06,612 Okay. Okay. Maybe I can help you guys, yeah. 365 00:16:06,632 --> 00:16:10,741 Okay, that was... Your tone did not sound like you were gonna help us out at all. 366 00:16:10,761 --> 00:16:13,285 As soon as that accent came out, I was like, this won't work. 367 00:16:13,305 --> 00:16:16,658 I'm not going to break into his phone. Still illegal. 368 00:16:17,059 --> 00:16:18,040 What? 369 00:16:18,060 --> 00:16:20,501 Okay, so, uh, I'm sorry, I'm confused, 370 00:16:20,521 --> 00:16:23,253 because it really sounded like you were going to help us. 371 00:16:23,273 --> 00:16:24,296 Yeah, that was... 372 00:16:24,316 --> 00:16:26,757 If you find yourself here at my little help desk 373 00:16:26,777 --> 00:16:29,009 asking me to break into your fiancé's phone 374 00:16:29,029 --> 00:16:30,386 because you don't trust him, 375 00:16:30,406 --> 00:16:34,009 don't you think you already have the answer you're looking for, 376 00:16:34,994 --> 00:16:36,345 Morgan? 377 00:16:38,247 --> 00:16:39,728 - Wow, I got chills. - I know. 378 00:16:39,748 --> 00:16:43,983 God, Terry, you really are a genius. 379 00:16:44,003 --> 00:16:45,229 - Steven? - Yo! 380 00:16:47,965 --> 00:16:49,738 - I'm seeing Gabe tomorrow. - Hm. 381 00:16:49,758 --> 00:16:50,984 He confirmed. 382 00:16:51,552 --> 00:16:54,827 Hoping it's nothing a little honest communication can't solve. 383 00:16:54,847 --> 00:16:55,864 Ah. 384 00:16:56,265 --> 00:16:57,830 Honest communication. 385 00:16:57,850 --> 00:17:00,661 Communication is definitely important. 386 00:17:01,228 --> 00:17:02,371 Okay. 387 00:17:03,022 --> 00:17:05,499 Do you wanna be honest with me about Ahava? 388 00:17:06,442 --> 00:17:07,709 - What about it? - Uh... 389 00:17:08,610 --> 00:17:09,878 About how you hate it? 390 00:17:10,821 --> 00:17:12,256 Oh my God. I don't hate it. 391 00:17:13,198 --> 00:17:14,466 Well, you don't love it. 392 00:17:15,576 --> 00:17:18,267 I... don't love it. No, that's true. 393 00:17:18,287 --> 00:17:21,311 I definitely don't love it. How could you tell? 394 00:17:21,331 --> 00:17:22,896 Well, the groovy vibes thing. 395 00:17:22,916 --> 00:17:25,352 - Was it the groovy vibes? - Yeah. Yeah. 396 00:17:25,836 --> 00:17:28,152 And also the way you say "Neil and Cami." 397 00:17:28,172 --> 00:17:29,820 "Neil and Cami"? Really? 398 00:17:29,840 --> 00:17:30,738 Do you hear that? 399 00:17:30,758 --> 00:17:32,698 Neil and Cami. 400 00:17:32,718 --> 00:17:35,284 Yeah, sorry. Listen, I wasn't trying to hide it from you. 401 00:17:35,304 --> 00:17:39,788 I was just... reluctant to admit it, I think, even to myself. 402 00:17:39,808 --> 00:17:42,499 It's a great place. It's just not my place. 403 00:17:42,519 --> 00:17:44,543 - So how about you? - What? 404 00:17:44,563 --> 00:17:47,254 Something's going on with you and Morgan. She hasn't been around. 405 00:17:47,274 --> 00:17:49,715 You haven't talked to her in days. 406 00:17:49,735 --> 00:17:54,470 We had a really big fight, and we're taking a break from the podcast. 407 00:17:54,490 --> 00:17:56,180 Okay. 408 00:17:56,200 --> 00:18:00,095 I don't think I was emotionally ready to go wedding dress shopping. 409 00:18:00,496 --> 00:18:03,520 - Mm. - It made me feel like we're behind them. 410 00:18:03,540 --> 00:18:05,147 Well, it's not a competition. 411 00:18:05,167 --> 00:18:07,352 - We can't rush this, you know? - I know. 412 00:18:07,753 --> 00:18:09,485 Marriage is a very big deal. 413 00:18:09,505 --> 00:18:11,064 It's, uh, supposed to be 414 00:18:11,673 --> 00:18:12,774 forever. 415 00:18:13,342 --> 00:18:15,027 Why did you say it like that? 416 00:18:17,262 --> 00:18:19,781 I don't love how quickly you want people to give up. 417 00:18:20,599 --> 00:18:21,413 Uh... 418 00:18:21,433 --> 00:18:23,916 Okay, with all due respect to Gabe and Abby, 419 00:18:23,936 --> 00:18:26,752 I'm, like, not that invested in their future. 420 00:18:26,772 --> 00:18:28,378 Fine, let's talk about us, then. 421 00:18:28,398 --> 00:18:31,340 If we were married and things got hard, what would you do? 422 00:18:31,360 --> 00:18:33,342 How am I supposed to answer that? 423 00:18:33,362 --> 00:18:36,970 I don't know, but I mean, you get in a fight, the podcast is off. 424 00:18:36,990 --> 00:18:39,807 Neither of your parents think it's important to stick with anything. 425 00:18:39,827 --> 00:18:40,974 It's scary. 426 00:18:40,994 --> 00:18:44,353 Marriage seems hard, you know? Things won't be perfect. 427 00:18:44,373 --> 00:18:46,730 There'll be days when I'm not your favorite person. 428 00:18:46,750 --> 00:18:49,108 - I know. - Days you're not your favorite person. 429 00:18:49,128 --> 00:18:51,860 It's not like it's high school when you can just 430 00:18:51,880 --> 00:18:54,983 switch every year if you're not happy. 431 00:18:57,094 --> 00:18:58,195 I mean, 432 00:18:59,555 --> 00:19:00,781 I guess you can. 433 00:19:01,181 --> 00:19:02,908 And that's what's so scary. 434 00:19:04,393 --> 00:19:05,369 Okay. 435 00:19:05,769 --> 00:19:09,044 I grew up in a house with two people who never should've gotten married. 436 00:19:09,064 --> 00:19:11,880 Okay? And it went on way too long, and it was horrible. 437 00:19:11,900 --> 00:19:14,466 The version of my parents that you saw tonight, 438 00:19:14,486 --> 00:19:17,219 I would've killed for that when I was little. 439 00:19:17,239 --> 00:19:20,347 I switched high schools 440 00:19:20,367 --> 00:19:23,178 because I was trying to escape my life. 441 00:19:24,496 --> 00:19:27,187 Growing up with a mom who became someone new every year, 442 00:19:27,207 --> 00:19:29,982 it was unstable, and it made me feel anxious. 443 00:19:30,002 --> 00:19:33,485 And all I want now is normalcy and stability. 444 00:19:33,505 --> 00:19:35,899 And I didn't think I'd ever have it. 445 00:19:37,926 --> 00:19:42,531 And you think now that I have the chance, I'm gonna run away from it? 446 00:19:43,807 --> 00:19:44,866 No. 447 00:19:46,143 --> 00:19:47,369 No, I don't. 448 00:19:48,604 --> 00:19:49,621 Good. 449 00:19:51,773 --> 00:19:53,667 'Cause you know what the dream is? 450 00:19:54,359 --> 00:19:55,591 What's the dream? 451 00:19:55,611 --> 00:19:59,094 Wanting to have sex with someone who makes you feel safe. 452 00:19:59,114 --> 00:20:01,388 Hey, everything was... 453 00:20:01,408 --> 00:20:03,265 I didn't think that existed. 454 00:20:03,285 --> 00:20:04,344 Mm. 455 00:20:04,953 --> 00:20:06,476 Gosh, I hope you find that. 456 00:20:06,496 --> 00:20:08,103 ...and romance... 457 00:20:08,123 --> 00:20:09,479 I hope you find it too. 458 00:20:09,499 --> 00:20:11,607 ...when the sun comes up 459 00:20:11,627 --> 00:20:15,360 If we could just stay 460 00:20:15,380 --> 00:20:20,657 If we could just stay This version of us 461 00:20:20,677 --> 00:20:22,159 - Thank you. - All right. 462 00:20:22,179 --> 00:20:24,620 - Here you go. - Getting ice cream is a great idea. 463 00:20:24,640 --> 00:20:28,040 It's a perfect thing to do when you fail at breaking into somebody's phone. 464 00:20:28,060 --> 00:20:31,038 Yeah. I guess. 465 00:20:31,438 --> 00:20:34,588 I don't know. I guess I'll have to have an honest conversation with him 466 00:20:34,608 --> 00:20:35,589 in the morning. 467 00:20:35,609 --> 00:20:38,467 Nothing worse than an honest conversation. 468 00:20:38,487 --> 00:20:40,469 I guess. I already know what he's gonna do. 469 00:20:40,489 --> 00:20:43,513 He's just gonna turn it around, and he's gonna, like, 470 00:20:43,533 --> 00:20:48,060 I don't know, say that I'm all fucked-up because of my fucked-up family. 471 00:20:48,080 --> 00:20:50,932 That's not fair. Everybody's got a fucked-up family. 472 00:20:51,708 --> 00:20:54,233 - My family's quietly fucked-up. - Mm. 473 00:20:54,253 --> 00:20:57,903 Everybody thinks my mom is so direct, and she says what she means, 474 00:20:57,923 --> 00:21:00,948 but she says what she wants. 475 00:21:00,968 --> 00:21:03,533 And that's... It's, like, a little different. 476 00:21:03,553 --> 00:21:05,781 - I gotta say, I love Bina. - Oh. 477 00:21:06,348 --> 00:21:07,496 She loves you too. 478 00:21:07,516 --> 00:21:08,956 That's why I like her. 479 00:21:08,976 --> 00:21:11,208 I'm just kidding. 480 00:21:11,228 --> 00:21:13,330 And you and Esther seem great. 481 00:21:14,398 --> 00:21:16,041 Yeah, we're... I mean, we're... 482 00:21:17,192 --> 00:21:18,710 Yeah, no, we're good. 483 00:21:20,654 --> 00:21:21,588 Sasha. 484 00:21:22,531 --> 00:21:26,181 Wait, what's going on? You were just staring out into the distance. 485 00:21:26,201 --> 00:21:27,302 I... 486 00:21:29,162 --> 00:21:32,099 She's just... She's been, like, really distant lately. 487 00:21:33,083 --> 00:21:35,185 Kind of feels like I'm losing her, you know? 488 00:21:35,585 --> 00:21:37,609 And it's kind of killing me. 489 00:21:37,629 --> 00:21:38,980 I'm sorry. 490 00:21:40,590 --> 00:21:41,863 You wanna talk about it? 491 00:21:41,883 --> 00:21:42,906 I gotta tell you, 492 00:21:42,926 --> 00:21:45,946 the last thing that I wanna do is have an honest conversation. 493 00:21:49,516 --> 00:21:52,786 I really liked the last episode of your podcast, by the way. The, uh... 494 00:21:53,186 --> 00:21:56,920 The bit about Joanne and the landlord was really funny. 495 00:21:56,940 --> 00:21:59,376 - Oh. - I hope he doesn't listen. 496 00:22:00,193 --> 00:22:01,545 Shit. 497 00:22:01,945 --> 00:22:05,178 Oh my God. I totally forgot what we said about him. 498 00:22:05,198 --> 00:22:07,764 I just remembered we gave Fabrizio a shout-out. Shit. 499 00:22:07,784 --> 00:22:09,516 His name's Fabrizio? 500 00:22:09,536 --> 00:22:11,221 I'm so screwed. 501 00:22:14,333 --> 00:22:15,897 Can I guess what you're gonna say? 502 00:22:15,917 --> 00:22:16,982 - Yeah. - Okay. 503 00:22:17,002 --> 00:22:20,397 You're gonna say, um, marriage should be forever. 504 00:22:21,173 --> 00:22:24,281 And, uh, there are ebbs and flows. 505 00:22:24,301 --> 00:22:27,409 And you need to find a way to weather the storm. 506 00:22:27,429 --> 00:22:29,870 Uh, truthfully, yes. 507 00:22:29,890 --> 00:22:32,451 - I was gonna say something like that, but... - See? 508 00:22:33,018 --> 00:22:36,168 I'm starting to wonder if every couple doesn't have to find their own path. 509 00:22:36,188 --> 00:22:39,458 You know, sometimes families can only come together 510 00:22:39,941 --> 00:22:41,460 once they've come apart. 511 00:22:42,569 --> 00:22:44,509 So why don't you tell me about you and Abby? 512 00:22:44,529 --> 00:22:47,220 I have a lot of thoughts. I'd love to hear it from the beginning. 513 00:22:47,240 --> 00:22:49,097 Great. I wanna get into the weeds. 514 00:22:49,117 --> 00:22:50,015 Great. 515 00:22:50,035 --> 00:22:53,727 - Do you need every gory detail, or... - I don't need it, but I can handle it. 516 00:22:53,747 --> 00:22:55,270 You're in for a wild ride. 517 00:22:55,290 --> 00:22:57,898 Honestly, it was one of my proudest moments as a rabbi. 518 00:22:57,918 --> 00:22:59,816 - Hey. - We spent hours talking about marriage. 519 00:22:59,836 --> 00:23:04,237 Examining it and reexamining it. Pulling it apart and debating it. 520 00:23:04,257 --> 00:23:06,026 So what's he gonna do? 521 00:23:06,635 --> 00:23:07,741 I don't know. 522 00:23:07,761 --> 00:23:09,326 That's the thing about Judaism. 523 00:23:09,346 --> 00:23:13,617 We love to talk about things from every direction. You know? 524 00:23:14,017 --> 00:23:16,208 I was being too rigid in how I was looking at it before. 525 00:23:16,228 --> 00:23:18,460 I love analyzing things from every direction. 526 00:23:18,480 --> 00:23:20,415 I know. It's very Jewish of you. 527 00:23:20,816 --> 00:23:23,585 A religion that encourages me to argue? 528 00:23:24,111 --> 00:23:25,212 Love that. 529 00:23:28,490 --> 00:23:29,674 Sorry, hold on. 530 00:23:31,076 --> 00:23:32,969 I'm just texting my mom. 531 00:23:38,959 --> 00:23:40,560 - Can I tell you something? - Yeah. 532 00:23:41,044 --> 00:23:42,771 You make me a better rabbi. 533 00:23:43,171 --> 00:23:44,773 I definitely do. 534 00:23:47,759 --> 00:23:49,277 What the fuck is this? 535 00:23:50,887 --> 00:23:52,781 Looks like you're being evicted. 536 00:23:55,392 --> 00:23:56,998 Yep. Yep. 537 00:23:57,018 --> 00:23:58,578 Definitely being evicted. 538 00:24:00,522 --> 00:24:04,423 Silhouettes and a hundred days 539 00:24:04,443 --> 00:24:08,427 I heard you're driving her crazy 540 00:24:08,447 --> 00:24:14,052 Now her tongue's spilling out my name It's just so fucking typical 541 00:24:16,037 --> 00:24:19,938 I know she misses the snow 542 00:24:19,958 --> 00:24:23,645 You're angel's 'bout ready to blow 543 00:24:24,045 --> 00:24:29,651 I know things you wouldn't know It's just so fucking typical 544 00:24:32,053 --> 00:24:35,954 The harder you push The more she's wanting to leave 545 00:24:35,974 --> 00:24:39,578 'Cause everything you do You do it desperately 546 00:24:40,061 --> 00:24:43,462 You're out of touch So she comes running to me 547 00:24:43,482 --> 00:24:45,292 In all honesty 548 00:24:46,067 --> 00:24:46,965 Honestly 549 00:24:46,985 --> 00:24:50,802 'Cause your girl Calls me in the middle of the night 550 00:24:50,822 --> 00:24:55,056 Sweet talk She likes that I'm the sentimental type 551 00:24:55,076 --> 00:24:59,598 That's what she told me And she only used her eyes 552 00:24:59,998 --> 00:25:01,182 That's right