1
00:00:00,826 --> 00:00:03,090
[instrumental music]

2
00:00:03,177 --> 00:00:06,876
[in unison]
We're number one!
We're number one!

3
00:00:06,963 --> 00:00:08,312
[all]
We're number one!

4
00:00:08,399 --> 00:00:10,358
Okay, hey, hey, hey, now,
wait a minute.

5
00:00:10,445 --> 00:00:12,447
We are number one
in our division

6
00:00:12,534 --> 00:00:15,841
but we still have a championship
game to play next week.

7
00:00:15,928 --> 00:00:18,061
Well, it was a great game today.

8
00:00:18,148 --> 00:00:20,542
But poor Scotty Hover
breaking his ankle

9
00:00:20,629 --> 00:00:22,109
that was terrible.

10
00:00:22,196 --> 00:00:24,328
Yeah, and now we're down
to nine players.

11
00:00:24,415 --> 00:00:26,722
If anyone else wimps out
with a broken bone

12
00:00:26,809 --> 00:00:29,551
we'll have to forfeit the game.

13
00:00:29,638 --> 00:00:31,248
Take it easy, Al,
Scotty wouldn't want you

14
00:00:31,335 --> 00:00:32,815
to be all choked up like this.

15
00:00:32,902 --> 00:00:35,470
Carol. Carol, Al's right.

16
00:00:35,557 --> 00:00:38,038
Totally insensitive, but right.

17
00:00:38,125 --> 00:00:40,823
We gotta get another player
before the big game.

18
00:00:40,910 --> 00:00:44,218
How? All the good players
are already taken.

19
00:00:44,305 --> 00:00:45,741
[clears throat]

20
00:00:45,828 --> 00:00:47,917
Yeah, where are we gonna find
somebody now?

21
00:00:48,004 --> 00:00:50,050
[clears throat]

22
00:00:50,137 --> 00:00:52,052
Anyway, let's go in the kitchen,
grab some sodas

23
00:00:52,139 --> 00:00:54,445
and see if we can think
of a kid in Port Washington

24
00:00:54,532 --> 00:00:55,968
who's not already on a team.

25
00:00:56,056 --> 00:00:58,058
[Mark clears throat]

26
00:00:58,145 --> 00:01:00,364
Hey, dude, I know it's painful

27
00:01:00,451 --> 00:01:01,800
but once you hock
that thing up

28
00:01:01,887 --> 00:01:03,933
it'll all be worth it, ha-ha-ha!

29
00:01:04,977 --> 00:01:06,892
[clears throat]

30
00:01:06,979 --> 00:01:09,895
Mark, are you trying to say
you wanna be on the team

31
00:01:09,982 --> 00:01:11,549
or should I get your inhaler?

32
00:01:11,636 --> 00:01:13,421
No, I wanna play.

33
00:01:13,508 --> 00:01:15,814
Well, why don't you just
say something?

34
00:01:15,901 --> 00:01:18,861
Well,
because they'd laugh at me.

35
00:01:18,948 --> 00:01:22,604
I mean, everyone thinks I'm just
a bookish little computer nerd.

36
00:01:22,691 --> 00:01:24,954
- Why?
- Well..

37
00:01:25,041 --> 00:01:27,870
Because I am a bookish
little computer nerd

38
00:01:27,957 --> 00:01:28,958
but I wanna be more than that.

39
00:01:29,045 --> 00:01:30,307
Behind this anemic exterior

40
00:01:30,394 --> 00:01:32,179
beats the heart of a lion.

41
00:01:32,266 --> 00:01:34,355
Ow!

42
00:01:34,442 --> 00:01:36,052
Well, Mark,
if you wanna play baseball

43
00:01:36,139 --> 00:01:37,706
you have to tell someone.

44
00:01:37,793 --> 00:01:40,056
You know, it's time
that you stand up for yourself

45
00:01:40,143 --> 00:01:41,231
and be a man.

46
00:01:41,318 --> 00:01:42,972
Really?

47
00:01:43,059 --> 00:01:45,453
Yeah, and mommy's gonna help.

48
00:01:47,063 --> 00:01:49,979
[theme song]

49
00:02:01,121 --> 00:02:04,036
[screaming]

50
00:02:05,995 --> 00:02:07,431
? The dream got broken ?

51
00:02:07,518 --> 00:02:09,303
? Seemed like all was lost ?

52
00:02:09,390 --> 00:02:11,305
? What would be the future? ?

53
00:02:11,392 --> 00:02:12,828
? Could you pay the cost? ?

54
00:02:12,915 --> 00:02:14,003
? You wonder ?

55
00:02:14,090 --> 00:02:15,874
? Will there ever be ?

56
00:02:15,961 --> 00:02:18,138
? A second time around ?

57
00:02:19,617 --> 00:02:20,836
? Woah-a woah-a ?

58
00:02:20,923 --> 00:02:22,490
? When the tears are over ?

59
00:02:22,577 --> 00:02:24,927
? And the moment has come ?

60
00:02:25,014 --> 00:02:28,539
? Say my Lord
I think I found someone ?

61
00:02:28,626 --> 00:02:30,454
? You know it will be better ?

62
00:02:30,541 --> 00:02:32,152
? 'Cause you're
puttin' it together ?

63
00:02:32,239 --> 00:02:35,024
? For the second time around ?

64
00:02:41,161 --> 00:02:42,988
? Step by step ?

65
00:02:43,075 --> 00:02:45,034
? Day by day ?? Day by day ?

66
00:02:45,121 --> 00:02:46,775
? A fresh start over ?

67
00:02:46,862 --> 00:02:48,559
? A different hand to play ?

68
00:02:48,646 --> 00:02:50,387
? The deeper we fall ?

69
00:02:50,474 --> 00:02:52,737
? The stronger we stay ?

70
00:02:52,824 --> 00:02:54,652
? It will be better ?

71
00:02:54,739 --> 00:02:56,350
? The second time around ?

72
00:02:56,437 --> 00:02:58,221
? Step by step ?

73
00:02:58,308 --> 00:03:00,354
? Day by day ?

74
00:03:00,441 --> 00:03:02,269
? We'll make it better ?

75
00:03:02,356 --> 00:03:04,967
? The second time around ??

76
00:03:17,458 --> 00:03:19,808
[instrumental music]

77
00:03:23,594 --> 00:03:26,423
Well, uh, what about t-t-that
kid who lives down the street?

78
00:03:26,510 --> 00:03:27,729
What's his name?
Uh, Tommy Jenkins.

79
00:03:27,816 --> 00:03:28,817
What about him for the team?

80
00:03:28,904 --> 00:03:30,340
- Tommy Jenkins?
- Yeah.

81
00:03:30,427 --> 00:03:31,950
He's as blind as a bat

82
00:03:32,037 --> 00:03:34,823
pigeon-toed,
and he throws like a girl.

83
00:03:34,910 --> 00:03:36,259
I have an idea.

84
00:03:36,346 --> 00:03:38,043
What about Mark
playing on the team?

85
00:03:39,915 --> 00:03:40,872
What's Tommy Jenkins'
phone number?

86
00:03:40,959 --> 00:03:41,960
Yeah, let me look it up.

87
00:03:42,047 --> 00:03:43,048
Wait, wait, wait!

88
00:03:43,135 --> 00:03:44,485
what's wrong with Mark?

89
00:03:44,572 --> 00:03:46,051
Um, forget it, mom.

90
00:03:46,138 --> 00:03:48,184
- It's, it's not important.
- Yes, it is.

91
00:03:48,271 --> 00:03:50,012
Every kid who wants
to play baseball

92
00:03:50,099 --> 00:03:52,623
should be given a chance.

93
00:03:52,710 --> 00:03:54,799
Well, you know, uh, Carol,
that's a really

94
00:03:54,886 --> 00:03:56,758
uh, really good theory.

95
00:03:56,845 --> 00:03:59,064
A-and, and let's you and I
go, go in the other room

96
00:03:59,151 --> 00:04:01,458
a-and discuss that, okay? Yeah.

97
00:04:01,545 --> 00:04:04,548
You kids just,
you know, mingle. Ha-ha.

98
00:04:07,116 --> 00:04:08,987
- Are you nuts?
- What?

99
00:04:09,074 --> 00:04:10,859
You want me to put Mark
on the team?

100
00:04:10,946 --> 00:04:13,514
Honey, he hasn't played baseball
in his entire life.

101
00:04:13,601 --> 00:04:15,733
Well, that's 'cause
no one ever gave him a chance.

102
00:04:15,820 --> 00:04:17,431
Well, there's a reason for that.

103
00:04:17,518 --> 00:04:20,129
He got tennis elbow
combing his hair.

104
00:04:20,216 --> 00:04:22,000
Oh, come on, Frank,
are your trying to say

105
00:04:22,087 --> 00:04:24,699
that you'd rather win
a kids' baseball game

106
00:04:24,786 --> 00:04:28,572
than make a positive difference
in a young man's life?

107
00:04:28,659 --> 00:04:30,879
This is a trick question,
isn't it?

108
00:04:30,966 --> 00:04:32,924
Frank, you're his stepfather.

109
00:04:33,011 --> 00:04:36,014
He looks up to you,
he adores you.

110
00:04:36,101 --> 00:04:38,539
If you don't give him a chance,
who will?

111
00:04:38,626 --> 00:04:40,236
Oh..

112
00:04:40,323 --> 00:04:42,020
[chuckles]
Appealing to my sense

113
00:04:42,107 --> 00:04:44,893
of decency and fair play.

114
00:04:44,980 --> 00:04:47,722
How low will you go?

115
00:04:47,809 --> 00:04:51,247
So, you gonna let him
be on the team?

116
00:04:51,334 --> 00:04:52,857
Yeah, I'll let him
be on the team

117
00:04:52,944 --> 00:04:55,382
but don't expect him to get
much playing time, honey

118
00:04:55,469 --> 00:04:58,428
because, face it,
the kid is a klutz.

119
00:04:58,515 --> 00:05:00,865
He is not.

120
00:05:00,952 --> 00:05:02,954
Uh, excuse me

121
00:05:03,041 --> 00:05:06,567
but my glasses
seem to be stuck to my sweater.

122
00:05:06,654 --> 00:05:07,959
W-whoa!

123
00:05:10,875 --> 00:05:13,400
Well, they don't play
in sweaters.

124
00:05:13,487 --> 00:05:16,316
[instrumental music]

125
00:05:19,754 --> 00:05:21,843
I can't believe
the newspaper would print

126
00:05:21,930 --> 00:05:24,193
something like this about women.

127
00:05:24,280 --> 00:05:25,716
I'd like to go down there
and stick that editor's head

128
00:05:25,803 --> 00:05:27,544
in a pencil sharpener. God!

129
00:05:27,631 --> 00:05:29,938
Now, Karen, that's not the way
you deal with people.

130
00:05:30,025 --> 00:05:32,027
We just have to write
a reasonable letter

131
00:05:32,114 --> 00:05:35,683
to the editor, calmly stating
our difference of opinion.

132
00:05:35,770 --> 00:05:36,901
Alright, now,
how does this sound?

133
00:05:36,988 --> 00:05:38,990
"Dear sexist pinhead.."

134
00:05:39,077 --> 00:05:40,165
I like it.

135
00:05:42,385 --> 00:05:45,301
Alright, the Foster babes.

136
00:05:45,388 --> 00:05:48,739
Light up a kitchen
like fine linoleum.

137
00:05:48,826 --> 00:05:50,088
Hey, what are you guys doin'?

138
00:05:50,175 --> 00:05:51,307
We're writing a letter
to protest

139
00:05:51,394 --> 00:05:53,048
an editorial in the newspaper.

140
00:05:53,135 --> 00:05:55,050
Yeah, some clown
at this rag says

141
00:05:55,137 --> 00:05:57,618
women in the military
shouldn't be in combat.

142
00:05:57,705 --> 00:05:59,141
Women shouldn't be in combat

143
00:05:59,228 --> 00:06:01,709
because they can't handle stress
as well as men.

144
00:06:01,796 --> 00:06:04,581
You wanna talk
about handling stress?

145
00:06:04,668 --> 00:06:07,192
Try being me for a day.

146
00:06:07,279 --> 00:06:09,978
Getting up at 6:00
in the morning

147
00:06:10,065 --> 00:06:12,502
fighting your way
through a back-breaking session

148
00:06:12,589 --> 00:06:15,375
of moisturizing, manicuring,
pedicuring and hair styling.

149
00:06:15,462 --> 00:06:18,029
Then, putting on make-up
until your arms fall limply

150
00:06:18,116 --> 00:06:20,292
at your side
from sheer exhaustion.

151
00:06:22,120 --> 00:06:24,993
Wow, beauty is hell.

152
00:06:27,038 --> 00:06:31,086
And don't you dare forget about
my sisters in the third world.

153
00:06:31,173 --> 00:06:34,263
Do you realize
that some of those brave women

154
00:06:34,350 --> 00:06:37,397
don't even have electricity
to run their hot rollers?

155
00:06:46,275 --> 00:06:48,625
Karen, let me handle
the women's side

156
00:06:48,712 --> 00:06:51,672
before you lose us the vote.

157
00:06:51,759 --> 00:06:53,369
Look, the bottomline is

158
00:06:53,456 --> 00:06:55,980
women cannot fight in combat
because they're weaker.

159
00:06:56,067 --> 00:06:58,026
You guys couldn't even handle
a night of guard duty.

160
00:06:58,113 --> 00:07:00,855
You'd be crying like a baby
for your beauty sleep.

161
00:07:00,942 --> 00:07:02,813
There's only one way
to settle this.

162
00:07:02,900 --> 00:07:05,773
Let's make a bet to see who can
last the longest without sleep.

163
00:07:05,860 --> 00:07:07,992
- The men or the women.
- Fine.

164
00:07:08,079 --> 00:07:10,821
Whoever cracks first
admits theirs is the weaker sex.

165
00:07:16,174 --> 00:07:17,959
You in with me, Codeman?

166
00:07:18,046 --> 00:07:20,614
Well, I'm not by nature
a competitive person

167
00:07:20,701 --> 00:07:22,877
but you know, that 14 hours
of sleep I've been getting a day

168
00:07:22,964 --> 00:07:25,314
might be cutting
into my leisure time.

169
00:07:25,401 --> 00:07:27,011
What the heck? I'm in. Ha-ha.

170
00:07:27,098 --> 00:07:29,884
[instrumental music]

171
00:07:39,023 --> 00:07:41,548
Okay. Mark.

172
00:07:41,635 --> 00:07:42,853
What do you know about hittin'?

173
00:07:42,940 --> 00:07:44,028
Everything.

174
00:07:44,115 --> 00:07:45,856
Hitting is merely physics.

175
00:07:45,943 --> 00:07:48,337
A real-time application
of Newtonian dynamics.

176
00:07:48,424 --> 00:07:51,296
Force equals
mass times acceleration.

177
00:07:51,383 --> 00:07:53,298
- You ever swung a bat?
- Never.

178
00:07:54,996 --> 00:07:56,301
What a geek.

179
00:07:56,388 --> 00:07:58,782
Al, gotta give him
a chance here, okay?

180
00:07:58,869 --> 00:08:00,567
Alright, Mark.

181
00:08:00,654 --> 00:08:02,612
I want you to take this bat,
stand right there

182
00:08:02,699 --> 00:08:05,049
and I'm gonna pitch
some real easy batting practice.

183
00:08:05,136 --> 00:08:06,486
You got it, coach.

184
00:08:09,489 --> 00:08:11,621
Alright, coach.
Give me the high heat.

185
00:08:16,974 --> 00:08:19,586
Mark, Mark, just relax, okay?

186
00:08:19,673 --> 00:08:23,415
Now, swing level a-and don't
grip the bat quite so tight.

187
00:08:23,503 --> 00:08:26,636
Okay. Here it comes.

188
00:08:34,862 --> 00:08:36,124
Sorry, coach.

189
00:08:37,691 --> 00:08:39,562
Yeah, o-okay, okay.

190
00:08:39,649 --> 00:08:41,956
Let's just skip hitting
and move right to fielding.

191
00:08:42,043 --> 00:08:44,654
Grab a mitt
and I'll throw you some balls.

192
00:08:44,741 --> 00:08:47,352
Great idea, coach.
Defense is my forte.

193
00:08:47,439 --> 00:08:51,313
They call me
The Human Vacuum Cleaner.

194
00:08:51,400 --> 00:08:52,836
Okay, Mark.

195
00:08:52,923 --> 00:08:55,926
The ball is hit
and you catch it.

196
00:08:57,319 --> 00:08:58,886
And you catch it.

197
00:09:00,061 --> 00:09:01,541
And you catch it!

198
00:09:03,412 --> 00:09:07,111
[chuckles]
Okay, here, I'll tell you what..

199
00:09:07,198 --> 00:09:09,418
...why don't you, uh, take
a break for the rest of the day?

200
00:09:09,505 --> 00:09:11,333
Good idea, coach. Great workout.

201
00:09:11,420 --> 00:09:12,508
Yeah.

202
00:09:14,292 --> 00:09:15,337
Oh, boy.

203
00:09:16,425 --> 00:09:19,254
Dad, Mark is a disaster.

204
00:09:19,341 --> 00:09:23,084
He can't hit, he can't field,
he can't do anything!

205
00:09:23,171 --> 00:09:26,478
Yeah, I know,
I figured he was gonna be bad

206
00:09:26,566 --> 00:09:29,003
he's not even good enough
to be bad.

207
00:09:29,090 --> 00:09:30,395
Well, what are we gonna do?

208
00:09:30,482 --> 00:09:32,223
You promised Carol
he could be on the team.

209
00:09:34,182 --> 00:09:37,881
But I didn't promise
that he would play in the game.

210
00:09:37,968 --> 00:09:39,579
Oh, right, dad,
like Carol's gonna let you

211
00:09:39,666 --> 00:09:41,319
get away with that.

212
00:09:43,104 --> 00:09:45,367
What do you mean,
Carol won't let me?

213
00:09:45,454 --> 00:09:46,760
I don't need Carol's permission.

214
00:09:46,847 --> 00:09:48,892
I am the coach and I decide

215
00:09:48,979 --> 00:09:50,807
what's best for the team.

216
00:09:50,894 --> 00:09:52,592
- Hi, guys.
- Hi, hon.

217
00:09:52,679 --> 00:09:54,811
How was practice?

218
00:09:54,898 --> 00:09:57,379
Well, it was
a little disappointing, Carol

219
00:09:57,466 --> 00:10:00,469
and, in fact, I'd like
to talk to you about it.

220
00:10:00,556 --> 00:10:03,777
As you know,
I am the coach of the Cubs.

221
00:10:03,864 --> 00:10:06,780
And after seeing Mark practice,
I, as the coach

222
00:10:06,867 --> 00:10:09,521
have made the decision
that he's not good enough

223
00:10:09,609 --> 00:10:11,306
to play in the game, Carol.

224
00:10:11,393 --> 00:10:13,047
'He will still be on the team.'

225
00:10:13,134 --> 00:10:15,876
He'll just be sitting
on the bench.

226
00:10:15,963 --> 00:10:19,183
It's a coaching decision
that I, as the coach, have made.

227
00:10:22,622 --> 00:10:25,059
Well, Frank, you're the coach.

228
00:10:26,321 --> 00:10:28,105
I won't say a word.

229
00:10:36,418 --> 00:10:39,290
[instrumental music]

230
00:10:44,121 --> 00:10:45,166
[instrumental music]

231
00:10:47,472 --> 00:10:50,824
Oh, come on, honey, I know you
want Mark to play in the game

232
00:10:50,911 --> 00:10:53,304
but you gotta see this
from my side.

233
00:10:53,391 --> 00:10:55,089
Oh, I know what your side is.

234
00:10:55,176 --> 00:10:56,743
You would rather hurt
Mark's feelings

235
00:10:56,830 --> 00:10:59,615
than risk losing some stupid
kids' baseball game.

236
00:10:59,702 --> 00:11:00,660
- Oh, honey!
- You know..

237
00:11:00,747 --> 00:11:02,052
This is just the kind of thing

238
00:11:02,139 --> 00:11:03,750
that could scar Mark for life.

239
00:11:03,837 --> 00:11:05,403
When you don't even
give a kid a chance

240
00:11:05,490 --> 00:11:07,579
it's like you're telling him
you think he's a loser.

241
00:11:07,667 --> 00:11:09,712
Then he starts believing
he's a loser

242
00:11:09,799 --> 00:11:12,802
and pretty soon,
he doesn't even try anymore.

243
00:11:12,889 --> 00:11:14,978
[sighs]
Carol, I don't wanna hurt Mark.

244
00:11:15,065 --> 00:11:16,458
[water spraying]

245
00:11:16,545 --> 00:11:19,374
But there are nine other kids
on this team

246
00:11:19,461 --> 00:11:21,245
who have busted their butts
all season

247
00:11:21,332 --> 00:11:23,160
to get in this championship.

248
00:11:23,247 --> 00:11:25,075
Believe me, this game
is just as important to them

249
00:11:25,162 --> 00:11:26,468
as it is to Mark.

250
00:11:26,555 --> 00:11:28,078
Well,
I still say it's not fair.

251
00:11:28,165 --> 00:11:29,123
[knock on door]

252
00:11:29,210 --> 00:11:31,038
- Who is it?
- 'Mark.'

253
00:11:31,125 --> 00:11:33,605
Oh. Come on in, honey.

254
00:11:33,693 --> 00:11:35,999
Hi, mom. Hi, coach.

255
00:11:37,653 --> 00:11:41,875
Uh, Mark, y-you don't have
to call me coach at home.

256
00:11:41,962 --> 00:11:45,792
Oh, I insist.
It's a matter of respect.

257
00:11:45,879 --> 00:11:49,056
I'm really grateful to you for
giving me the chance to play.

258
00:11:49,143 --> 00:11:52,450
And tomorrow, when I'm out
on that baseball field

259
00:11:52,537 --> 00:11:54,452
I'm gonna say

260
00:11:54,539 --> 00:11:57,934
"This is the greatest moment
of my life

261
00:11:58,021 --> 00:12:00,502
and I owe it all
to Frank Lambert."

262
00:12:01,677 --> 00:12:04,071
God bless you, coach.

263
00:12:04,158 --> 00:12:07,030
[instrumental music]

264
00:12:11,774 --> 00:12:14,081
Come on, Karen,
you've got to keep moving.

265
00:12:14,168 --> 00:12:16,605
[groaning]
I-I can't.

266
00:12:16,692 --> 00:12:19,913
It's 4:00 a.m.
We've been up 36 hours.

267
00:12:20,000 --> 00:12:22,654
- I need sleep.
- No, you don't!

268
00:12:22,742 --> 00:12:25,483
You need
to get your blood circulating.

269
00:12:25,570 --> 00:12:27,268
You do some stretching exercises

270
00:12:27,355 --> 00:12:28,922
and I'll get us
some more caffeine.

271
00:12:29,009 --> 00:12:30,184
[slurping]

272
00:12:30,271 --> 00:12:31,620
Caffeine is our friend.

273
00:12:34,710 --> 00:12:35,885
[sighs]

274
00:12:39,193 --> 00:12:41,717
- Karen!
- I'm up! I'm up!

275
00:12:41,804 --> 00:12:44,285
Oh, my God! My leg fell off!

276
00:12:44,372 --> 00:12:45,416
[screaming]

277
00:12:45,503 --> 00:12:47,070
[breathing heavily]

278
00:12:47,157 --> 00:12:50,552
Karen...it's right here.

279
00:12:50,639 --> 00:12:53,424
You've got to get
a hold of yourself.

280
00:12:53,511 --> 00:12:55,078
I can't take this anymore.

281
00:12:55,165 --> 00:12:57,864
If I don't get some sleep soon,
I'm gonna cry.

282
00:12:57,951 --> 00:12:59,126
[sobbing]

283
00:12:59,213 --> 00:13:01,519
- Oh.
- Don't you dare.

284
00:13:01,606 --> 00:13:04,044
We wouldn't wanna give J.T.
that satisfaction.

285
00:13:04,131 --> 00:13:06,437
- Now, would we?
- No.

286
00:13:06,524 --> 00:13:09,832
No, he said,
"Women cryunder stress."

287
00:13:09,919 --> 00:13:12,139
[chuckling]

288
00:13:12,226 --> 00:13:14,054
[sobbing]

289
00:13:14,141 --> 00:13:17,622
I can't take it anymore!
I'm so tired!

290
00:13:17,709 --> 00:13:21,931
I just wanna go night-night!

291
00:13:22,018 --> 00:13:24,847
Aw, there, there,
little cuz dude.

292
00:13:24,934 --> 00:13:26,762
If you wanna go sleep that bad,
why don't we just

293
00:13:26,849 --> 00:13:28,329
call off the bet?

294
00:13:28,416 --> 00:13:30,548
[sniffles]
No way.

295
00:13:33,813 --> 00:13:38,121
Dude! I did it.
Oh, my God! Ha-ha!

296
00:13:38,208 --> 00:13:40,689
I've been trying to get this
Rubik's Cube thing for years.

297
00:13:40,776 --> 00:13:42,604
[laughs]

298
00:13:42,691 --> 00:13:43,823
It's like this no-sleep thing

299
00:13:43,910 --> 00:13:46,913
has really, like,
helped out my brain.

300
00:13:47,000 --> 00:13:50,046
You mean, the less sleep
you get, the smarter you get?

301
00:13:50,133 --> 00:13:52,701
Totally, like just this morning

302
00:13:52,788 --> 00:13:54,921
I figured out
that the international date line

303
00:13:55,008 --> 00:13:57,227
isn't a 900 number, ha-ha!

304
00:13:57,314 --> 00:14:00,317
And then now, the Rubik's Cube.
Ha-ha.

305
00:14:00,404 --> 00:14:03,407
It's like my brain
is this giant satellite dish

306
00:14:03,494 --> 00:14:06,497
suckin' up all the infomercials
of the universe.

307
00:14:08,151 --> 00:14:10,110
Wait a minute. Incoming.

308
00:14:11,807 --> 00:14:13,330
Dude.

309
00:14:13,417 --> 00:14:14,418
[sighs]

310
00:14:15,680 --> 00:14:17,987
E does equal MC squared.

311
00:14:18,074 --> 00:14:21,382
[laughs]
Man, that Einstein dude
was right. Yeah.

312
00:14:25,560 --> 00:14:28,476
So...how's it going, men?

313
00:14:28,563 --> 00:14:29,520
[sniggering]

314
00:14:29,607 --> 00:14:31,044
Ready to give up?

315
00:14:31,958 --> 00:14:33,176
Are you kidding?

316
00:14:33,263 --> 00:14:34,525
This no-sleep thing has opened

317
00:14:34,612 --> 00:14:36,049
the doors of perception to me.

318
00:14:36,136 --> 00:14:37,702
I figure, if I stay up
another week

319
00:14:37,789 --> 00:14:40,880
I'll have that whole
Stonehenge dealy figured out.

320
00:14:40,967 --> 00:14:43,056
Then I'll be ready
to face the real problems

321
00:14:43,143 --> 00:14:44,753
plaguing mankind.

322
00:14:44,840 --> 00:14:47,669
Like, male pattern baldness.

323
00:14:47,756 --> 00:14:50,672
[instrumental music]

324
00:14:53,501 --> 00:14:55,938
? And the home ?

325
00:14:56,025 --> 00:15:00,551
? Of the brave ??

326
00:15:00,638 --> 00:15:02,336
[all cheering]

327
00:15:04,164 --> 00:15:05,513
[male 1]
'Welcome to the Port Washington'

328
00:15:05,600 --> 00:15:07,732
Youth League Championship game.

329
00:15:07,819 --> 00:15:11,388
Let's have a big hand
for the Cubs and the Lions.

330
00:15:11,475 --> 00:15:13,477
[crowd applauding]

331
00:15:15,436 --> 00:15:17,133
Alright, you Cubs,
I want you to get out there

332
00:15:17,220 --> 00:15:18,526
and really have some fun.

333
00:15:18,613 --> 00:15:19,744
- Yeah!
- Alright!

334
00:15:19,831 --> 00:15:21,921
- Come on!
- Ha-ha.

335
00:15:22,008 --> 00:15:25,098
Coach is right,
remember to have fun. Ha-ha.

336
00:15:25,185 --> 00:15:28,275
Because this game
is just a fleeting moment

337
00:15:28,362 --> 00:15:32,148
in the grand scope
of a timeless universe.

338
00:15:32,235 --> 00:15:36,065
Whoa.
I'm getting totally deep. Huh.

339
00:15:36,152 --> 00:15:37,893
Come on, little bat dudes,
we'll get the equipment ready.

340
00:15:37,980 --> 00:15:38,981
Yeah.

341
00:15:40,504 --> 00:15:42,332
- Dad, I am begging you.
- Huh?

342
00:15:42,419 --> 00:15:44,465
- You can't let Mark play.
- Look, look, Al.

343
00:15:44,552 --> 00:15:46,946
I know this is hard for you
to understand, okay?

344
00:15:47,033 --> 00:15:50,384
But there are more important
things than a baseball game.

345
00:15:50,471 --> 00:15:51,907
Well, then, we might as well
just forfeit

346
00:15:51,994 --> 00:15:53,648
because if he plays, we'll lose.

347
00:15:53,735 --> 00:15:55,302
Oh, no, no, no, listen,
I've been really

348
00:15:55,389 --> 00:15:56,651
thinkin' about this, okay?

349
00:15:56,738 --> 00:15:58,696
You guys are much better
than the Lions.

350
00:15:58,783 --> 00:16:01,569
So, all you have to do is go out
there and run up a big lead

351
00:16:01,656 --> 00:16:03,919
and then I'll put Mark in when
you got the game in the bag.

352
00:16:05,399 --> 00:16:06,487
[laughs]

353
00:16:08,663 --> 00:16:11,579
[crowd cheering]

354
00:16:13,842 --> 00:16:14,799
[male 1]
'What a game.'

355
00:16:14,886 --> 00:16:15,844
'So, bottom of the ninth'

356
00:16:15,931 --> 00:16:17,977
the Cubs are trailing by one run

357
00:16:18,064 --> 00:16:21,371
an-and now there's only one out
with a man on second base.

358
00:16:21,458 --> 00:16:23,460
[indistinct chatter]

359
00:16:24,853 --> 00:16:26,681
Come on, Todd, get a hit!

360
00:16:26,768 --> 00:16:28,552
I'm ready whenever
you need me, coach.

361
00:16:28,639 --> 00:16:30,772
And I'm really fresh because
I haven't been in the game yet.

362
00:16:30,859 --> 00:16:32,643
Yeah-yeah, I-I'm aware of that,
Mark, and, believe me

363
00:16:32,730 --> 00:16:35,255
I'm just lookin' for the right
opportunity to send you in.

364
00:16:35,342 --> 00:16:36,952
[male 2]
'Strike one!'

365
00:16:37,039 --> 00:16:38,519
I respect your strategy, coach.

366
00:16:38,606 --> 00:16:40,434
But it's the bottom
of the ninth

367
00:16:40,521 --> 00:16:43,393
and it seems to me we may be
running out of opportunities.

368
00:16:43,480 --> 00:16:45,352
[male 2]
'Strike two!'

369
00:16:45,439 --> 00:16:48,659
Uh, look, Mark, I-I'm not sure
you're aware of this

370
00:16:48,746 --> 00:16:50,835
but it is a baseball tradition

371
00:16:50,922 --> 00:16:53,403
that any kid who doesn't play
in a championship game

372
00:16:53,490 --> 00:16:55,797
gets a new bike.

373
00:16:55,884 --> 00:16:58,060
Gee, coach,
I'd really like a new bike

374
00:16:58,147 --> 00:17:01,281
but not as much
as I wanna play in the game.

375
00:17:01,368 --> 00:17:04,371
Well, you see, I'm gonna
grow up, like, in a few years

376
00:17:04,458 --> 00:17:06,025
but that memory
of playing in a big game

377
00:17:06,112 --> 00:17:07,852
will last a lifetime.

378
00:17:07,939 --> 00:17:10,159
See, years from now,
I'll look back on this day

379
00:17:10,246 --> 00:17:12,031
and know I was a somebody.

380
00:17:13,684 --> 00:17:16,600
Yeah. I see what you mean.

381
00:17:16,687 --> 00:17:19,168
- 'Strike three, you're out.'
- Oh..

382
00:17:19,255 --> 00:17:20,213
Tell you what,
you take your bat

383
00:17:20,300 --> 00:17:21,649
and you hit for David, alright?

384
00:17:21,736 --> 00:17:23,564
- Yes!
- No!

385
00:17:23,651 --> 00:17:25,957
You can't put him in. He stinks!

386
00:17:26,045 --> 00:17:27,437
[sighs]
Look, now, Billy

387
00:17:27,524 --> 00:17:29,048
this is the right thing to do.

388
00:17:29,135 --> 00:17:31,441
And when you're an adult,
you'll understand.

389
00:17:31,528 --> 00:17:35,054
No, you can't put him in.
He stinks!

390
00:17:36,925 --> 00:17:38,057
[male 1]
'Now batting for the Cubs'

391
00:17:38,144 --> 00:17:39,275
'Mark Foster.'

392
00:17:39,362 --> 00:17:40,537
[crowd booing]

393
00:17:40,624 --> 00:17:43,062
- Take him out!
- Come on!

394
00:17:43,149 --> 00:17:45,238
Come on! Get him out of there!

395
00:17:45,325 --> 00:17:48,197
[crowd booing]

396
00:17:55,422 --> 00:17:57,989
Hey, hey, I'm the coach.
I say what goes here.

397
00:17:58,077 --> 00:17:59,904
Now, you're up. Go for it.

398
00:17:59,991 --> 00:18:03,734
- But the crowd was booing.
- Forget the crowd.

399
00:18:03,821 --> 00:18:05,693
I can't, because they're right.

400
00:18:05,780 --> 00:18:08,957
They know I stink,
and I'll just hurt the team.

401
00:18:09,044 --> 00:18:11,916
As much as I wanna play,
I don't wanna do that.

402
00:18:13,831 --> 00:18:16,095
Hey, wait a minute.
Where do you think you're goin'?

403
00:18:16,182 --> 00:18:18,923
Back to the bench.
I'm not good enough to play.

404
00:18:19,010 --> 00:18:20,751
- Says who?
- Well..

405
00:18:20,838 --> 00:18:24,451
There seems to be consensus
forming out in the stands.

406
00:18:24,538 --> 00:18:27,802
Tsk. Look,
you're part of this team.

407
00:18:27,889 --> 00:18:31,501
And the coach told you to go in
there and bat. So, do it.

408
00:18:31,588 --> 00:18:34,374
Well, what if I strike out?
That'll be embarrassing.

409
00:18:34,461 --> 00:18:35,940
Not as embarrassing
as getting your teeth

410
00:18:36,027 --> 00:18:37,681
knocked out by your stepsister.

411
00:18:37,768 --> 00:18:40,075
Now, get that boney little butt
in the batters box.

412
00:18:40,162 --> 00:18:42,033
Right, uh, batter up.

413
00:18:42,121 --> 00:18:44,123
[crowd booing]

414
00:18:45,515 --> 00:18:47,256
You know, you're okay.

415
00:18:47,343 --> 00:18:48,257
Thanks, dad.

416
00:18:49,519 --> 00:18:51,739
[crowd booing]

417
00:18:53,654 --> 00:18:55,960
[male 1]
'Mark Foster
coming back to the play'

418
00:18:56,047 --> 00:19:00,139
'with two outs,
time run on second base.'

419
00:19:00,226 --> 00:19:02,750
This kid blows,
it's your dead meat, Lambert.

420
00:19:02,837 --> 00:19:06,275
You hear me?
We're gonna tar and feather you!

421
00:19:06,362 --> 00:19:08,669
Boo!

422
00:19:08,756 --> 00:19:11,672
[booing continues]

423
00:19:11,759 --> 00:19:15,154
You know, pal, we might have to
leave here very, very quickly.

424
00:19:20,594 --> 00:19:21,812
Strike one!

425
00:19:21,899 --> 00:19:23,466
- Oh..
- Oh..

426
00:19:23,553 --> 00:19:24,946
Remember, the quickest way
to the truck

427
00:19:25,033 --> 00:19:27,078
is right through center field
and over the fence.

428
00:19:28,819 --> 00:19:30,169
Strike two!

429
00:19:32,388 --> 00:19:33,563
Let's see
if I can find the keys.

430
00:19:33,650 --> 00:19:35,043
You can warm up the truck
for dad.

431
00:19:36,740 --> 00:19:38,699
[thinking]
Come on, Mark. Concentrate.

432
00:19:38,786 --> 00:19:40,135
It's just physics.

433
00:19:40,222 --> 00:19:42,529
Ball speed,
42.7 miles per hour.

434
00:19:42,616 --> 00:19:44,139
Bat weight, 28 ounces.

435
00:19:44,226 --> 00:19:47,229
Optimum angle of impact,
85.29 degrees.

436
00:19:47,316 --> 00:19:49,492
Wind factor, out of
the southwest, six knots.

437
00:19:49,579 --> 00:19:52,191
Okay, meat, bring it.

438
00:19:52,278 --> 00:19:55,194
[intense music]

439
00:20:24,484 --> 00:20:27,356
[music continues]

440
00:20:33,971 --> 00:20:35,451
[thumps]

441
00:20:54,514 --> 00:20:57,386
[music continues]

442
00:21:04,350 --> 00:21:05,481
Yeah!

443
00:21:05,568 --> 00:21:06,743
- Yeah!
- Run!

444
00:21:06,830 --> 00:21:09,703
[all cheering]

445
00:21:24,065 --> 00:21:26,415
[cheering]

446
00:21:27,721 --> 00:21:30,637
[crowd cheering]

447
00:21:30,724 --> 00:21:33,596
[music continues]

448
00:21:38,514 --> 00:21:40,299
[Al]
Alright, Mark, way to go!

449
00:21:42,605 --> 00:21:45,739
- 'We are number one!'
- We are number one!

450
00:21:45,826 --> 00:21:49,046
[in unison]
We are number one!
We are number one!

451
00:21:56,576 --> 00:21:59,274
[in unison]
'We are number one!
We are number one!'

452
00:21:59,361 --> 00:22:00,493
We are number one!

453
00:22:00,580 --> 00:22:02,799
[shushing]

454
00:22:04,627 --> 00:22:05,672
Whoa!

455
00:22:07,674 --> 00:22:10,329
They must have all fallen asleep
at the same time. Huh.

456
00:22:11,721 --> 00:22:13,767
Guess the bet's a tie. Ha-ha-ha.

457
00:22:13,854 --> 00:22:16,247
Cody, aren't you
totally zonked, too?

458
00:22:16,335 --> 00:22:18,467
No way, I never felt better.

459
00:22:18,554 --> 00:22:20,034
You know, like, great truths
of the universe

460
00:22:20,121 --> 00:22:23,472
has been comin' at my brain
from left and right.

461
00:22:23,559 --> 00:22:26,997
Oh, wait a minute.
Here comes a big one.

462
00:22:27,084 --> 00:22:28,956
The-meaning-of-life one.

463
00:22:29,043 --> 00:22:32,655
Dude...the meaning
of life is..

464
00:22:34,744 --> 00:22:36,311
[snoring]

465
00:22:37,704 --> 00:22:39,227
Okay.

466
00:22:40,446 --> 00:22:41,969
[snoring]

467
00:22:44,058 --> 00:22:46,843
Well, we can wake Cody up
and get the meaning of life

468
00:22:46,930 --> 00:22:48,541
or we can go for pizza.

469
00:22:48,628 --> 00:22:51,065
[all]
Pizza!

470
00:22:51,152 --> 00:22:52,849
[theme music]