1 00:00:14,948 --> 00:00:17,950 Ted: Now, as you know, aunt robin is a big fan of Halloween... 2 00:00:17,952 --> 00:00:19,785 Always dressing up in crazy costumes... 3 00:00:19,787 --> 00:00:21,553 But she wasn't always that way. 4 00:00:21,555 --> 00:00:25,491 Back in 2005, she thought she was too cool for Halloween, 5 00:00:25,493 --> 00:00:27,059 Unlike aunt lily. 6 00:00:27,061 --> 00:00:29,695 Guess what came in the mail today? 7 00:00:29,697 --> 00:00:31,196 Our costumes? Do they rule? 8 00:00:31,198 --> 00:00:32,297 They rule. 9 00:00:32,299 --> 00:00:33,499 And yours is 100% wool, 10 00:00:33,501 --> 00:00:35,167 So you won't get hypothermia 11 00:00:35,169 --> 00:00:36,802 Like last year. 12 00:00:36,804 --> 00:00:40,139 Tarzan nipples blue. 13 00:00:40,141 --> 00:00:41,807 You know what I love about Halloween? 14 00:00:41,809 --> 00:00:42,975 It's the one night of the year 15 00:00:42,977 --> 00:00:46,045 Chicks use to unleash their inner ho-bag. 16 00:00:46,047 --> 00:00:47,012 If a girl dresses up as a witch, 17 00:00:47,014 --> 00:00:48,814 She's a slutty witch. 18 00:00:48,816 --> 00:00:51,817 If she's a cat, she's a slutty cat. 19 00:00:51,819 --> 00:00:52,819 If she's a nurse... 20 00:00:52,820 --> 00:00:54,153 Wow, we get it. 21 00:00:55,155 --> 00:00:56,955 She's a slutty nurse. 22 00:00:57,924 --> 00:00:59,525 Robin, what are you doing for Halloween? 23 00:00:59,527 --> 00:01:00,527 Oh, I don't know. 24 00:01:00,528 --> 00:01:01,827 Probably hanging out with mike, 25 00:01:01,829 --> 00:01:03,262 This guy I've been seeing. 26 00:01:03,264 --> 00:01:05,197 Mike? There's a mike? 27 00:01:05,199 --> 00:01:07,599 You have a boyfriend and you haven't told us? 28 00:01:07,601 --> 00:01:09,034 No, I mean, he's not my boyfriend. 29 00:01:09,036 --> 00:01:10,402 He's just this guy I've been seeing 30 00:01:10,404 --> 00:01:11,703 For a couple of weeks. 31 00:01:11,705 --> 00:01:13,038 ( Sing-songy ): Boyfriend! 32 00:01:13,040 --> 00:01:14,406 So why haven't we met him? 33 00:01:14,408 --> 00:01:17,009 We're not really ready to go public yet. 34 00:01:17,011 --> 00:01:19,211 ( Sing-songy): Married. 35 00:01:19,213 --> 00:01:22,081 How about we go on a Halloween double date? 36 00:01:22,083 --> 00:01:23,348 I don't know, we were kind of thinking 37 00:01:23,350 --> 00:01:24,850 About staying at home and dressing up 38 00:01:24,852 --> 00:01:27,352 As naked people. 39 00:01:27,354 --> 00:01:30,055 Come on, robin, trot out your new fella. 40 00:01:30,057 --> 00:01:32,091 Let us judge and evaluate him behind your back. 41 00:01:32,093 --> 00:01:33,158 It'll be fun. 42 00:01:34,260 --> 00:01:36,061 Hey, ted, you'll never guess what happened. 43 00:01:36,063 --> 00:01:37,096 Your costumes came? 44 00:01:37,098 --> 00:01:38,430 Our cost... Yes. 45 00:01:38,432 --> 00:01:39,865 That is why we're best friends. 46 00:01:39,867 --> 00:01:42,234 Hey, ted, what are you doing for Halloween? 47 00:01:42,236 --> 00:01:43,102 Well... 48 00:01:43,104 --> 00:01:44,369 ( groaning ) what? 49 00:01:44,371 --> 00:01:46,038 Every Halloween, ted waits 50 00:01:46,040 --> 00:01:47,639 For the slutty pumpkin. 51 00:01:47,641 --> 00:01:49,942 What's the "slutty pumpkin"? 52 00:01:49,944 --> 00:01:51,877 You mean who is the slutty pumpkin. 53 00:01:51,879 --> 00:01:53,946 It was four years ago... 54 00:01:53,948 --> 00:01:56,115 I was at this Halloween party up on the roof of our building. 55 00:01:56,117 --> 00:01:57,649 I'm about to call it an early night 56 00:01:57,651 --> 00:01:59,885 When out of nowhere appeared this girl 57 00:01:59,887 --> 00:02:03,222 In the sexiest pumpkin costume. 58 00:02:03,224 --> 00:02:06,158 Wait, how can a pumpkin costume be sexy? 59 00:02:06,160 --> 00:02:08,327 It was carved in strategic places. 60 00:02:09,062 --> 00:02:10,462 So, uh, we're at the bar, 61 00:02:10,464 --> 00:02:12,097 And I see her mix kahlua... 62 00:02:12,099 --> 00:02:13,332 Kahlua and root beer. 63 00:02:13,334 --> 00:02:15,400 A cocktail she invented herself. 64 00:02:15,402 --> 00:02:16,068 And she called it... 65 00:02:16,070 --> 00:02:17,436 "the tootsie roll..." 66 00:02:17,438 --> 00:02:18,438 All: Because it tastes 67 00:02:18,439 --> 00:02:20,139 Like an alcoholic tootsie roll. Hey! 68 00:02:20,141 --> 00:02:21,907 Can I please tell the story? 69 00:02:21,909 --> 00:02:23,242 So we had this instant connection. 70 00:02:23,244 --> 00:02:25,811 She gave me her number, but then... 71 00:02:25,813 --> 00:02:27,913 All: Something went terribly wrong. 72 00:02:27,915 --> 00:02:29,748 Guys! 73 00:02:29,750 --> 00:02:31,350 Then something went terribly wrong. 74 00:02:31,352 --> 00:02:34,286 Happy Halloween. 75 00:02:34,288 --> 00:02:36,955 Sonny, where's cher? 76 00:02:36,957 --> 00:02:40,526 Cher? Right here, babe. 77 00:02:40,528 --> 00:02:42,761 I just met the perfect woman. 78 00:02:42,763 --> 00:02:45,464 She's funny, she's beautiful, 79 00:02:45,466 --> 00:02:46,698 She loves star wars. 80 00:02:46,700 --> 00:02:48,433 Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, what's her take on ewoks? 81 00:02:48,435 --> 00:02:49,201 Loves 'em. 82 00:02:49,203 --> 00:02:52,304 I don't know why people are so cynical about ewoks. 83 00:02:52,306 --> 00:02:54,840 The rebellion would have failed without the ewoks. 84 00:02:54,842 --> 00:02:56,308 And get this: She's a marine biologist. 85 00:02:56,310 --> 00:02:58,443 She spent a year in antarctica studying penguins. 86 00:02:58,445 --> 00:02:59,445 Oh, penguins are cool. 87 00:02:59,446 --> 00:03:01,213 Kind of like black and white ewoks. 88 00:03:01,215 --> 00:03:02,381 I approve. 89 00:03:03,216 --> 00:03:04,483 Hey, where's my, uh, kit-kat? 90 00:03:04,485 --> 00:03:06,185 I put it right here on this table. I don't know, 91 00:03:06,187 --> 00:03:08,320 But we've plenty of chocolate here. 92 00:03:08,322 --> 00:03:09,321 No, no, you don't understand. 93 00:03:09,323 --> 00:03:11,023 I need that kit-kat... she wrote her number 94 00:03:11,025 --> 00:03:12,124 On that wrapper. Where is it? 95 00:03:12,126 --> 00:03:13,559 Uh-oh. 96 00:03:15,361 --> 00:03:16,962 Hey, dracula! 97 00:03:16,964 --> 00:03:18,363 Come on, give me the... Give me it! 98 00:03:21,734 --> 00:03:23,335 Where's the kit-kat? 99 00:03:23,337 --> 00:03:26,004 Where's the kit-kat?! 100 00:03:26,006 --> 00:03:29,007 Never found her number, never saw her again. 101 00:03:29,009 --> 00:03:30,042 But every year, they have 102 00:03:30,044 --> 00:03:31,143 A Halloween party up on the roof, 103 00:03:31,145 --> 00:03:32,578 So that's where I'll be. 104 00:03:32,580 --> 00:03:34,346 You know, ted, it's been four years. 105 00:03:34,348 --> 00:03:36,982 She could be engaged or married, 106 00:03:36,984 --> 00:03:40,185 Or, god forbid, fat. 107 00:03:40,187 --> 00:03:41,553 I don't know, 108 00:03:41,555 --> 00:03:43,989 I got a feeling... this could be the year. 109 00:03:43,991 --> 00:03:46,258 Halloween is a night of wonder and magic. 110 00:03:46,260 --> 00:03:47,260 ( All groan ) 111 00:03:47,261 --> 00:03:48,427 All right, bring the mockery, 112 00:03:48,429 --> 00:03:49,561 Fine, I can take it. 113 00:03:49,563 --> 00:03:51,363 But come on, wouldn't it be the coolest story ever 114 00:03:51,365 --> 00:03:53,485 If the slutty pumpkin turned out to be my future wife? 115 00:03:55,068 --> 00:03:57,202 Oh, on the off-chance that that could happen, 116 00:03:57,204 --> 00:04:00,005 Maybe we should stop calling her the slutty pumpkin. 117 00:04:00,007 --> 00:04:01,206 That's a really good point. 118 00:04:01,208 --> 00:04:02,574 That's a good idea. 119 00:04:02,576 --> 00:04:05,377 Ted, is your world ready 120 00:04:05,379 --> 00:04:07,512 To be rocked, rocked, rocked? 121 00:04:07,514 --> 00:04:08,947 Can't wait. 122 00:04:11,784 --> 00:04:13,218 So... 123 00:04:13,220 --> 00:04:15,220 What do you think? 124 00:04:15,222 --> 00:04:16,188 So, what do you think? 125 00:04:16,190 --> 00:04:17,956 ( Squawks ) 126 00:04:17,958 --> 00:04:19,391 Wow. 127 00:04:19,393 --> 00:04:21,293 Marshall, are you wearing eyeliner? 128 00:04:21,295 --> 00:04:22,194 Oh, yeah. 129 00:04:22,196 --> 00:04:24,329 Weirdly hot, right? 130 00:04:25,365 --> 00:04:28,033 We are so going to win the costume contest this year. 131 00:04:28,035 --> 00:04:30,902 First prize: $50 gift certificate at the bar. 132 00:04:30,904 --> 00:04:32,471 And how much did you pay for your costumes? 133 00:04:32,473 --> 00:04:33,805 $100. 134 00:04:33,807 --> 00:04:35,040 Each. 135 00:04:35,042 --> 00:04:38,710 Well, I think you guys look great. 136 00:04:38,712 --> 00:04:42,314 What are you going as? Oh, like I even need to ask. 137 00:04:42,316 --> 00:04:44,049 Hey, I want the slutty pumpkin to recognize me, 138 00:04:44,051 --> 00:04:47,185 And she knows me as... A hanging chad. 139 00:04:48,388 --> 00:04:49,821 What? She thought it was hilarious. 140 00:04:49,823 --> 00:04:51,223 Yeah, four years ago, 141 00:04:51,225 --> 00:04:54,226 But nobody remembers what the hell a hanging chad is. 142 00:04:54,228 --> 00:04:55,427 What a sad commentary 143 00:04:55,429 --> 00:04:56,828 On our national attention span... 144 00:04:56,830 --> 00:04:58,830 That we could forget such a turbulent time 145 00:04:58,832 --> 00:05:01,066 In our political history. 146 00:05:01,068 --> 00:05:02,301 Sad commentary. 147 00:05:02,303 --> 00:05:03,303 ( Squawks) 148 00:05:03,304 --> 00:05:04,403 All right, 149 00:05:04,405 --> 00:05:05,405 Polly got to pee. 150 00:05:05,406 --> 00:05:07,239 Again? 151 00:05:07,241 --> 00:05:08,674 Where you going? 152 00:05:08,676 --> 00:05:11,176 It's an elaborate costume. 153 00:05:14,080 --> 00:05:17,149 ( "Danger zone" by kenny loggis playing ) 154 00:05:24,090 --> 00:05:29,494 ♪ highway to the danger zone 155 00:05:29,496 --> 00:05:34,866 ♪ gonna take you right into the danger zone... ♪ 156 00:05:34,868 --> 00:05:35,868 ( Music stops) 157 00:05:35,869 --> 00:05:38,103 No, no, not again, not this year. 158 00:05:38,105 --> 00:05:39,438 You're going as my wingman. 159 00:05:39,440 --> 00:05:40,440 Flight suit up. 160 00:05:40,441 --> 00:05:41,441 No thanks. 161 00:05:41,442 --> 00:05:43,608 I'm sticking with the hanging chad. 162 00:05:43,610 --> 00:05:45,310 Oh, you're dangerous, maverick. 163 00:05:45,312 --> 00:05:47,846 Your ego's writing checks your body can't cash. 164 00:05:48,448 --> 00:05:49,548 Okay. 165 00:05:50,850 --> 00:05:53,285 Here's the plan, and I crap you not. 166 00:05:53,287 --> 00:05:54,453 I'm getting us 167 00:05:54,455 --> 00:05:58,323 Into the victoria's secret Halloween party. 168 00:05:58,325 --> 00:05:59,891 Trust me, by the end of the night, 169 00:05:59,893 --> 00:06:02,561 Your chad will not be hanging. 170 00:06:02,563 --> 00:06:04,329 We can get rejected by supermodels 171 00:06:04,331 --> 00:06:05,331 Any night of the year. 172 00:06:05,332 --> 00:06:06,498 Tonight I'm going up to the roof, 173 00:06:06,500 --> 00:06:07,700 I'm going to have a few beers, 174 00:06:07,701 --> 00:06:09,302 I'm going to wait for the slutty pumpkin. 175 00:06:09,303 --> 00:06:11,169 It's just what I do. 176 00:06:11,171 --> 00:06:13,705 Hmm. Victoria's secret models 177 00:06:13,707 --> 00:06:16,141 Prancing around in bras and panties... 178 00:06:16,143 --> 00:06:20,712 Or yale preppies reuniting their stupid a capella group. 179 00:06:20,714 --> 00:06:22,581 What's that, left hand? "right hand sucks"? 180 00:06:22,583 --> 00:06:24,216 Word. 181 00:06:24,218 --> 00:06:25,484 Heading up to the roof. 182 00:06:25,486 --> 00:06:27,552 Well, boys, looks like it's just the three of us. 183 00:06:27,554 --> 00:06:29,354 What's that? "self five"? 184 00:06:29,356 --> 00:06:30,422 Nice. We out. 185 00:06:32,925 --> 00:06:34,926 Hey, chad, how's it hanging? 186 00:06:34,928 --> 00:06:37,529 Hey, word play, funny. 187 00:06:37,531 --> 00:06:40,232 Whoo, nice outfit. 188 00:06:40,234 --> 00:06:41,366 I'm a parrot. 189 00:06:41,368 --> 00:06:43,168 You sure are. 190 00:06:43,170 --> 00:06:44,170 Where's mike? 191 00:06:44,171 --> 00:06:45,171 He's meeting me here. 192 00:06:45,172 --> 00:06:46,738 I ran late covering the Halloween parade 193 00:06:46,740 --> 00:06:48,039 In the village. 194 00:06:48,041 --> 00:06:50,342 There are, like, a zillion gay pirates this year. 195 00:06:50,344 --> 00:06:53,278 Seriously, does my eyeliner look okay? 196 00:06:53,280 --> 00:06:55,113 Yes, it's weirdly hot. 197 00:06:55,115 --> 00:06:57,282 So, where's your costume? 198 00:06:57,284 --> 00:06:58,750 ( Knocking ) uh, you know, mike and I joked 199 00:06:58,752 --> 00:07:00,185 About doing something together, 200 00:07:00,187 --> 00:07:02,754 But we decided not to dress up. 201 00:07:03,689 --> 00:07:05,490 Oh, geez. 202 00:07:06,359 --> 00:07:07,426 Hi. 203 00:07:07,428 --> 00:07:08,527 Uh, everyone, 204 00:07:08,529 --> 00:07:09,529 This is michael. 205 00:07:09,530 --> 00:07:11,897 That is not his real hair. 206 00:07:11,899 --> 00:07:13,732 Um, where's your costume, gretel? 207 00:07:13,734 --> 00:07:15,200 You thought I was... 208 00:07:15,202 --> 00:07:16,968 Oh, I was just kidding. 209 00:07:16,970 --> 00:07:18,770 I've got to stop making jokes in e-mails. 210 00:07:18,772 --> 00:07:21,440 It's so hard to convey tone. 211 00:07:22,542 --> 00:07:24,276 I think we got them beat. 212 00:07:27,213 --> 00:07:29,981 I can't believe you talked me into this. 213 00:07:29,983 --> 00:07:32,584 I didn't. You followed me up here. 214 00:07:32,586 --> 00:07:34,920 This party sucks. 215 00:07:34,922 --> 00:07:37,789 There's seven chicks here. 216 00:07:37,791 --> 00:07:40,559 There's six chicks here. 217 00:07:40,561 --> 00:07:42,594 Relax. The night is young. 218 00:07:42,596 --> 00:07:44,229 It's going to get better. 219 00:07:44,231 --> 00:07:45,797 Ladies and gentlemen, 220 00:07:45,799 --> 00:07:48,800 As on pitch as they were at spring fling '95, 221 00:07:48,802 --> 00:07:52,237 It's my pleasure to welcome back the shaggarats. 222 00:07:52,239 --> 00:07:53,738 Crowd ( cheering ): Whoo! 223 00:07:53,740 --> 00:07:56,441 Whoo! 224 00:07:56,443 --> 00:08:00,078 ♪ My bonnie lies over the ocean ♪ 225 00:08:00,080 --> 00:08:03,315 ♪ My bonnie lies over the sea ♪ 226 00:08:03,317 --> 00:08:07,419 ♪ My bonnie lies over the ocean ♪ 227 00:08:07,421 --> 00:08:10,689 ♪ Oh, bring back my bonnie to me ♪ 228 00:08:14,293 --> 00:08:16,127 ( All giggling) 229 00:08:16,129 --> 00:08:17,762 ( mimicking pirate ): What be a pirate's 230 00:08:17,764 --> 00:08:20,799 Favorite kind of sweater? 231 00:08:20,801 --> 00:08:23,335 Arr-gyle. 232 00:08:24,303 --> 00:08:26,037 Marshall: And what be 233 00:08:26,039 --> 00:08:31,543 A pirate's favorite fast food restaurant? 234 00:08:31,545 --> 00:08:34,346 Arr-by's. 235 00:08:35,481 --> 00:08:37,315 'Twould think it would be arby's. 236 00:08:37,317 --> 00:08:39,885 ( Regular voice ): But, actually, it's long john silver's. 237 00:08:39,887 --> 00:08:41,286 ( All chuckling ) 238 00:08:41,288 --> 00:08:43,321 Actually, I kind of need this hand to eat. 239 00:08:43,323 --> 00:08:45,357 Oh.. 240 00:08:45,359 --> 00:08:46,858 ( Chuckles) 241 00:08:46,860 --> 00:08:48,326 Oh, yeah. 242 00:08:48,328 --> 00:08:49,528 ( Both growl like pirates) 243 00:08:49,530 --> 00:08:51,363 Oh, thank you. 244 00:08:51,365 --> 00:08:52,330 I'm starrr... Ving! 245 00:08:52,332 --> 00:08:53,532 Thank you. 246 00:08:55,468 --> 00:08:57,402 It's so nice to meet you, mike. 247 00:08:57,404 --> 00:08:59,004 You guys are really cute together. 248 00:08:59,006 --> 00:09:01,239 Yeah, we've been spending a lot of time together. 249 00:09:01,241 --> 00:09:03,761 We're even getting to that point where we finish each other's... 250 00:09:04,977 --> 00:09:06,311 This cheeseburger is so... 251 00:09:06,313 --> 00:09:08,246 Good. See? 252 00:09:08,248 --> 00:09:10,181 ( Chuckles) 253 00:09:10,183 --> 00:09:12,484 I think you won the dish-off tonight, baby. 254 00:09:12,486 --> 00:09:15,387 This steak totally bitch-slapped my pork chops. 255 00:09:15,389 --> 00:09:16,688 Marshall: That may be true, 256 00:09:16,690 --> 00:09:20,525 But your rice pilaf kicked my spinach in the crotch 257 00:09:20,527 --> 00:09:22,761 So hard it threw up a little bit. 258 00:09:22,763 --> 00:09:24,496 ( Iaughs) 259 00:09:24,498 --> 00:09:25,897 Marshall: Mmm... Mmm. 260 00:09:25,899 --> 00:09:27,399 Mmm. 261 00:09:27,401 --> 00:09:29,701 Robin, you have to try this chicken. 262 00:09:29,703 --> 00:09:31,903 Oh, that's good, I'm okay, thanks. 263 00:09:33,205 --> 00:09:34,439 It's really tasty. 264 00:09:34,441 --> 00:09:37,008 I'm just really feeling this cheeseburger. 265 00:09:37,010 --> 00:09:38,677 Mike: Come on, 266 00:09:38,679 --> 00:09:39,945 Just try a little bite. 267 00:09:39,947 --> 00:09:42,614 Dude, I'm kind of in the zone here. 268 00:09:45,851 --> 00:09:48,453 Oh, for god's sakes. 269 00:09:49,789 --> 00:09:52,991 Really tasty. 270 00:09:54,427 --> 00:09:57,495 ( Sustaining notes in harmony ) 271 00:09:59,065 --> 00:10:02,667 ( applause and cheering ) 272 00:10:04,604 --> 00:10:06,104 Hey. 273 00:10:06,106 --> 00:10:07,839 Hey. 274 00:10:08,808 --> 00:10:10,976 So what does a fella have to do 275 00:10:10,978 --> 00:10:13,912 To get lei'd around here? 276 00:10:13,914 --> 00:10:17,315 Yeah. 277 00:10:17,317 --> 00:10:20,952 Right. 'cause I'm wearing a lei. 278 00:10:20,954 --> 00:10:24,689 It isn't funny if you explain the joke. 279 00:10:26,759 --> 00:10:27,892 Let's bail. 280 00:10:27,894 --> 00:10:29,995 No, barney, come on. I'm having fun. 281 00:10:29,997 --> 00:10:32,497 Plus, it's really great to see all these guys again. 282 00:10:32,499 --> 00:10:35,266 Name one person you know at this party. 283 00:10:35,268 --> 00:10:37,068 Well, there's ninja, 284 00:10:37,070 --> 00:10:39,137 Back of horse. 285 00:10:39,139 --> 00:10:40,438 Hey, where's front of horse? 286 00:10:40,440 --> 00:10:42,974 That guy's a riot... where is he? 287 00:10:43,943 --> 00:10:45,510 Okay, I'm leaving. 288 00:10:45,512 --> 00:10:47,145 But just know, that this victoria secret party 289 00:10:47,147 --> 00:10:48,580 Is on a yacht. 290 00:10:48,582 --> 00:10:50,615 And what will be sticking to that yacht? 291 00:10:50,617 --> 00:10:53,151 The "barnacle." 292 00:10:53,153 --> 00:10:54,319 Really? 293 00:10:54,321 --> 00:10:55,587 That's your nickname now? 294 00:10:55,589 --> 00:10:56,588 Yeah, the barnacle. The barnacle? 295 00:10:56,590 --> 00:10:57,756 That's it. 296 00:10:58,457 --> 00:11:00,025 Barnacle, out. 297 00:11:00,027 --> 00:11:02,160 Have fun, barnacle. 298 00:11:04,463 --> 00:11:06,364 So... Do you like mike? 299 00:11:06,366 --> 00:11:08,166 Do you like mike? 300 00:11:08,168 --> 00:11:09,634 Of course I do. Why? 301 00:11:09,636 --> 00:11:11,803 It just doesn't seem like it. 302 00:11:11,805 --> 00:11:14,539 You won't share your food, you won't wear a costume. 303 00:11:14,541 --> 00:11:16,174 Oh, lily, you know me. 304 00:11:16,176 --> 00:11:18,176 I'm just not into all that coupley stuff. 305 00:11:18,178 --> 00:11:20,845 Okay, I know that stuff looks dumb from the outside, 306 00:11:20,847 --> 00:11:23,448 But it's kind of the greatest thing in the world 307 00:11:23,450 --> 00:11:24,616 When you're a part of it. 308 00:11:24,618 --> 00:11:26,017 If you just gave it 309 00:11:26,019 --> 00:11:28,019 A chance, you might like it. 310 00:11:28,021 --> 00:11:29,988 Are you trying to get me to join a cult? 311 00:11:29,990 --> 00:11:32,323 Robin, mike likes you. 312 00:11:32,325 --> 00:11:34,059 If you don't start meeting him halfway, 313 00:11:34,061 --> 00:11:35,393 You're gonna lose him. 314 00:11:35,395 --> 00:11:36,194 What? 315 00:11:36,196 --> 00:11:37,395 Look, it's Halloween. 316 00:11:37,397 --> 00:11:40,632 Just put on the girlfriend costume for a night. 317 00:11:40,634 --> 00:11:43,635 Okay, well, what am I supposed to do, 318 00:11:43,637 --> 00:11:46,638 Buy him a giant teddy bear or something? 319 00:11:46,640 --> 00:11:50,041 How about you start by sharing dessert? 320 00:11:50,043 --> 00:11:52,510 I can share dessert. 321 00:11:52,512 --> 00:11:53,478 Good. 322 00:11:53,480 --> 00:11:56,681 He better want the brownie sundae, 323 00:11:56,683 --> 00:12:00,385 But yeah, yeah, I can totally share. 324 00:12:10,062 --> 00:12:11,062 Barney? 325 00:12:11,064 --> 00:12:12,163 What, you're back? 326 00:12:12,165 --> 00:12:13,031 That's right. 327 00:12:13,033 --> 00:12:14,666 In a totally new costume. 328 00:12:14,668 --> 00:12:17,936 Every Halloween I bring a spare costume, 329 00:12:17,938 --> 00:12:20,739 In case I strike out with the hottest girl at the party. 330 00:12:20,741 --> 00:12:24,109 That way I have a second chance to make a first impression. 331 00:12:25,010 --> 00:12:26,244 What's with the face? 332 00:12:26,246 --> 00:12:28,413 It's half you're pathetic, half I have to pee. 333 00:12:28,415 --> 00:12:30,381 So go to the bathroom. No, there's a huge line. 334 00:12:30,383 --> 00:12:32,884 I don't want to miss the "slutty pumpkin." 335 00:12:32,886 --> 00:12:34,452 So pee off the roof. 336 00:12:34,454 --> 00:12:36,354 Ooh, ted, pee off the roof. 337 00:12:36,356 --> 00:12:38,389 Whoa, I wouldn't do that if I were you, 338 00:12:38,391 --> 00:12:39,758 There's people walking down there. 339 00:12:39,760 --> 00:12:42,393 Come on, ted, who you gonna listen to? 340 00:12:42,395 --> 00:12:45,697 Me, or mr. Goody-goody over there? 341 00:12:45,699 --> 00:12:49,467 Yeah, whatever, you guys got some weed? 342 00:12:49,469 --> 00:12:51,770 A little to the left, marshall. 343 00:12:51,772 --> 00:12:53,138 Robin: Lily, squat down. 344 00:12:53,140 --> 00:12:54,706 This is gonna be a slaughter. 345 00:12:54,708 --> 00:12:58,576 None of these other costumes even come close to ourrr... S! 346 00:12:58,578 --> 00:13:01,713 Take the damn picture. ( squawks ) 347 00:13:01,715 --> 00:13:05,884 I still think we should have won as sonny and cher. 348 00:13:05,886 --> 00:13:08,286 Maybe if I'd worn the red dress. Huh. 349 00:13:08,288 --> 00:13:10,555 If I could turn back time. 350 00:13:10,557 --> 00:13:12,457 ( Gasps ) 351 00:13:12,459 --> 00:13:14,225 Oh, wow, this sundae looks so good. 352 00:13:14,227 --> 00:13:15,393 I could eat the whole thing. 353 00:13:15,395 --> 00:13:18,997 But, um, I would much rather share 354 00:13:18,999 --> 00:13:21,666 This small, one-scoop sundae with you, mike. 355 00:13:21,668 --> 00:13:24,569 Apple tart? Excellent choice, lily-pad. 356 00:13:24,571 --> 00:13:26,504 Thanks, marshmallow. 357 00:13:26,506 --> 00:13:30,141 Well, let's dig in, mi... Mi... Microwave oven. 358 00:13:33,012 --> 00:13:35,346 Let me guess. 359 00:13:35,348 --> 00:13:38,583 Every guy's used the lei'd line on you tonight, huh? 360 00:13:38,585 --> 00:13:40,518 You wouldn't believe. 361 00:13:40,520 --> 00:13:42,587 I apologize for my gender. 362 00:13:42,589 --> 00:13:44,322 Let me make it up to you... make you a drink? 363 00:13:44,324 --> 00:13:45,456 Oh. 364 00:13:45,458 --> 00:13:47,458 You certainly are a charming devil. 365 00:13:47,460 --> 00:13:51,296 I'm also a "horny" devil. 366 00:13:51,298 --> 00:13:52,363 Yeah. 367 00:13:52,365 --> 00:13:53,832 ( Chuckles) 368 00:13:53,834 --> 00:13:55,567 No. 369 00:14:00,206 --> 00:14:01,439 Oh, go to hell. 370 00:14:05,444 --> 00:14:06,811 You know, 371 00:14:06,813 --> 00:14:08,213 If you guys like tiramisu, 372 00:14:08,215 --> 00:14:09,647 We found this little italian place... 373 00:14:09,649 --> 00:14:11,516 No, you found it. I came with you. 374 00:14:12,451 --> 00:14:14,018 Go on. 375 00:14:14,020 --> 00:14:16,221 I'm just saying, we love tiramisu. 376 00:14:16,223 --> 00:14:18,223 I cannot get enough of it. 377 00:14:18,225 --> 00:14:19,691 We're crazy for the stuff. 378 00:14:19,693 --> 00:14:21,726 I'm crazy, and you're crazy... 379 00:14:22,695 --> 00:14:23,862 For tiramisu. 380 00:14:24,530 --> 00:14:25,530 Mike: Right. 381 00:14:25,532 --> 00:14:26,831 We love tiramisu. 382 00:14:26,833 --> 00:14:29,234 Am I wrong saying that? No, no, no. 383 00:14:29,236 --> 00:14:30,568 I mean, it just sounds a little bit weird. 384 00:14:30,570 --> 00:14:31,669 Doesn't it? 385 00:14:31,671 --> 00:14:33,571 We love tiramisu? 386 00:14:33,573 --> 00:14:35,306 Isn't really a group activity. 387 00:14:35,308 --> 00:14:37,542 Loving tiramisu? 388 00:14:37,544 --> 00:14:39,077 Right? 389 00:14:40,246 --> 00:14:44,649 So this italian place, how is their cannoli? 390 00:14:44,651 --> 00:14:45,717 Robin: Oh! 391 00:14:45,719 --> 00:14:47,619 Easy there, hungry. 392 00:14:50,556 --> 00:14:52,657 Mmm. 393 00:14:52,659 --> 00:14:55,360 Yeah, looks like we're both hungry. 394 00:14:55,362 --> 00:14:56,160 ( chuckles) 395 00:14:56,162 --> 00:14:57,495 Hey, is that gary oldman? 396 00:14:57,497 --> 00:14:58,497 Wait... Where? 397 00:15:01,734 --> 00:15:02,967 I don't see... 398 00:15:08,774 --> 00:15:10,742 Brain freeze. 399 00:15:12,611 --> 00:15:15,013 Okay, victoria secret party, right now. 400 00:15:15,015 --> 00:15:17,715 I can't stand watching my delusional friend 401 00:15:17,717 --> 00:15:19,617 Waste another precious Halloween. 402 00:15:19,619 --> 00:15:21,953 Ted, the "slutty pumpkin" is not coming. 403 00:15:21,955 --> 00:15:23,054 She might. 404 00:15:23,056 --> 00:15:25,757 Come on, barney, this is not about the odds. 405 00:15:25,759 --> 00:15:26,858 It's about believing. 406 00:15:26,860 --> 00:15:27,959 This girl, she... 407 00:15:27,961 --> 00:15:29,560 She represents something to me. 408 00:15:29,562 --> 00:15:30,862 I don't know. 409 00:15:30,864 --> 00:15:32,096 Hope. 410 00:15:32,098 --> 00:15:35,266 Wow. 411 00:15:35,268 --> 00:15:37,702 I did not understand a word you just said. 412 00:15:39,605 --> 00:15:42,974 Lingerie models on a boat! 413 00:15:42,976 --> 00:15:45,076 See ya. 414 00:15:45,078 --> 00:15:47,312 No. See ya. 415 00:15:47,314 --> 00:15:48,546 ( laughs devilishly ) 416 00:15:48,548 --> 00:15:49,647 Ow! 417 00:15:51,817 --> 00:15:54,052 Want to drink the melty part? 418 00:15:54,054 --> 00:15:55,486 You know what? 419 00:15:55,488 --> 00:15:56,621 It's getting late. 420 00:15:57,623 --> 00:15:58,656 I think I'm gonna 421 00:15:58,658 --> 00:15:59,590 Take off. 422 00:15:59,592 --> 00:16:01,559 Hey. 423 00:16:01,561 --> 00:16:03,895 I thought we were gonna follow those bread crumbs 424 00:16:03,897 --> 00:16:05,763 Back to my place, hansel. 425 00:16:05,765 --> 00:16:08,499 Robin, I don't get the sense you like being with me. 426 00:16:08,501 --> 00:16:09,801 I like being with you. 427 00:16:09,803 --> 00:16:11,502 Not as much as you like being alone. 428 00:16:11,504 --> 00:16:12,770 You like... 429 00:16:12,772 --> 00:16:14,939 Eating your own food, sleeping in your own bed, 430 00:16:14,941 --> 00:16:16,174 Doing your own crosswords. 431 00:16:16,176 --> 00:16:17,976 Who uses ink? 432 00:16:19,111 --> 00:16:20,578 Sorry. 433 00:16:20,580 --> 00:16:22,613 Okay, I'm a bit set in my ways, 434 00:16:22,615 --> 00:16:24,148 That doesn't mean that this won't work. 435 00:16:24,150 --> 00:16:26,317 Actually, it kind of does. 436 00:16:26,319 --> 00:16:28,686 Wait, are we breaking up? 437 00:16:28,688 --> 00:16:31,255 No, we aren't breaking up. 438 00:16:31,257 --> 00:16:34,158 I'm breaking up with you. 439 00:16:37,629 --> 00:16:43,835 Ted: And then just as I was about to lose hope... 440 00:16:46,972 --> 00:16:49,841 She spent a year in antarctica studying penguins. 441 00:16:50,776 --> 00:16:53,344 Kahlua, root beer... 442 00:16:53,346 --> 00:16:55,146 Could this penguin be 443 00:16:55,148 --> 00:16:58,049 The "slutty pumpkin?" 444 00:17:06,558 --> 00:17:08,126 Uh, excuse me. 445 00:17:08,128 --> 00:17:10,161 This is going to sound crazy, 446 00:17:10,163 --> 00:17:12,230 But I met someone up on this roof four years ago, 447 00:17:12,232 --> 00:17:16,667 And they mixed that cocktail, and-and they loved penguins. 448 00:17:16,669 --> 00:17:19,604 By any chance, was that you? 449 00:17:21,140 --> 00:17:23,207 It's you. 450 00:17:23,209 --> 00:17:25,710 Everyone thought I was crazy, but I came... 451 00:17:25,712 --> 00:17:27,245 You are such a loser. 452 00:17:27,913 --> 00:17:30,748 Come on, I came back for you, ted. 453 00:17:30,750 --> 00:17:32,750 I penguin-suited up 454 00:17:32,752 --> 00:17:34,185 To show you the error of your ways. 455 00:17:34,187 --> 00:17:36,087 And to score hula girl's number. 456 00:17:36,089 --> 00:17:37,655 Check and check. 457 00:17:37,657 --> 00:17:39,057 Unbelievable. 458 00:17:39,059 --> 00:17:41,192 Yes, it is. 459 00:17:41,194 --> 00:17:42,927 Oh. Wait a minute. 460 00:17:42,929 --> 00:17:44,328 You're that lame army guy. 461 00:17:44,330 --> 00:17:46,230 What? No, no, that's some other guy, 462 00:17:46,232 --> 00:17:47,732 And he was a kick-ass fighter pilot. 463 00:17:47,734 --> 00:17:49,200 I cannot believe I gave you my number. 464 00:17:49,202 --> 00:17:50,601 Yeah, well, you did. Thanks. 465 00:17:50,603 --> 00:17:51,569 Yeah. Well, give it back. 466 00:17:51,571 --> 00:17:52,570 Well, uh, I don't think so. 467 00:17:52,572 --> 00:17:53,571 I earned it, fair and square. 468 00:17:53,573 --> 00:17:54,872 I'm calling you. 469 00:17:54,874 --> 00:17:57,241 But I'm never gonna go out with you. 470 00:17:57,243 --> 00:17:59,177 But how will you know it's me? 471 00:17:59,179 --> 00:18:01,245 I'm a master of disguise. 472 00:18:01,247 --> 00:18:03,247 Yeah. 473 00:18:03,249 --> 00:18:04,849 ( Sighs ) 474 00:18:07,086 --> 00:18:08,352 Nice. 475 00:18:08,354 --> 00:18:09,687 Come on, ted. 476 00:18:09,689 --> 00:18:11,556 Victoria secret party, now, let's go. 477 00:18:11,558 --> 00:18:12,890 I'm staying. 478 00:18:12,892 --> 00:18:16,260 ( Sighs ): Fine! Fine... 479 00:18:16,262 --> 00:18:17,061 What are you doing? 480 00:18:17,063 --> 00:18:19,764 I'm flippering you off. 481 00:18:22,868 --> 00:18:25,136 Oh, sweetie, I'm so sorry. 482 00:18:25,138 --> 00:18:26,270 Seriously, 483 00:18:26,272 --> 00:18:27,371 It's not a big deal. 484 00:18:27,373 --> 00:18:30,108 He wanted to be a we, and I wanted to be an I. 485 00:18:30,110 --> 00:18:33,111 Dudes are such chicks. 486 00:18:33,113 --> 00:18:34,645 Hmm. 487 00:18:34,647 --> 00:18:35,746 You guys, I'm fine. 488 00:18:35,748 --> 00:18:37,281 Man: Ladies and 489 00:18:37,283 --> 00:18:39,217 Gentlemen, the results are in. 490 00:18:39,219 --> 00:18:41,119 And the winners of this year's 491 00:18:41,121 --> 00:18:42,553 Costume contest are... 492 00:18:42,555 --> 00:18:44,956 Lily aldren as a parrot, 493 00:18:44,958 --> 00:18:46,991 And marshall erikson as a gay pirate! 494 00:18:46,993 --> 00:18:48,292 Oh, yeah! 495 00:18:48,294 --> 00:18:49,560 Wait, what did he say? 496 00:18:49,562 --> 00:18:52,096 Oh, who cares, marshall? We won! 497 00:18:52,098 --> 00:18:54,232 Wait. Gay pirate... where are you getting that from? 498 00:18:54,234 --> 00:18:55,500 Dude, you're wearing eyeliner. 499 00:18:55,502 --> 00:18:56,834 Okay. 500 00:18:56,836 --> 00:18:59,837 I just want everybody here to know I'm not a gay pirate. 501 00:18:59,839 --> 00:19:01,772 I have sex with my parrot all the time. 502 00:19:01,774 --> 00:19:03,574 That came out wrong. 503 00:19:04,576 --> 00:19:05,977 Oh, yeah, doesn't matter. 504 00:19:05,979 --> 00:19:07,278 We won! 505 00:19:07,280 --> 00:19:09,147 I love you, marshmallow. 506 00:19:09,149 --> 00:19:10,581 I love you, too, lily pad. 507 00:19:10,583 --> 00:19:12,250 You guys, let me get a picture. 508 00:19:16,288 --> 00:19:18,656 ( Camera shutter clicking ) 509 00:19:18,658 --> 00:19:22,160 ♪ I want to know what it's like ♪ 510 00:19:22,162 --> 00:19:27,265 ♪ On the inside of love... 511 00:19:27,267 --> 00:19:29,367 I had a feeling I'd find you here. 512 00:19:29,369 --> 00:19:30,935 Oh, hey. 513 00:19:30,937 --> 00:19:32,503 If you're here for the shaggarats, 514 00:19:32,505 --> 00:19:34,605 You just missed the fourth encore. 515 00:19:34,607 --> 00:19:38,209 I never played any team sports. 516 00:19:38,211 --> 00:19:39,810 Are we playing "I never"? 517 00:19:39,812 --> 00:19:42,313 'Cause there's nothing left but peach schnapps. 518 00:19:42,315 --> 00:19:44,949 I played tennis in high school. 519 00:19:44,951 --> 00:19:46,217 You know why? 520 00:19:46,219 --> 00:19:47,885 Because it was just me out there. 521 00:19:47,887 --> 00:19:49,954 I couldn't even stand playing doubles. 522 00:19:51,223 --> 00:19:53,324 I just got dumped. 523 00:19:53,326 --> 00:19:56,027 Oh, man, that sucks. 524 00:19:56,029 --> 00:19:57,228 Yeah. It's okay. 525 00:19:57,230 --> 00:19:58,863 I wasn't that into him. 526 00:19:58,865 --> 00:20:00,231 Story of my life. 527 00:20:00,233 --> 00:20:02,033 Everyone else is off 528 00:20:02,035 --> 00:20:04,335 Falling in love and acting stupid and goofy 529 00:20:04,337 --> 00:20:07,071 And sweet and insane, but not me. 530 00:20:07,073 --> 00:20:08,339 Why don't I 531 00:20:08,341 --> 00:20:09,807 Want that more? 532 00:20:09,809 --> 00:20:11,475 I want to want that. 533 00:20:11,477 --> 00:20:13,844 Am I wired wrong or something? 534 00:20:13,846 --> 00:20:15,012 No. 535 00:20:15,014 --> 00:20:17,048 Look, you didn't want to be with me, 536 00:20:17,050 --> 00:20:19,217 So, clearly, you have abysmal taste in men. 537 00:20:19,219 --> 00:20:21,052 ( Iaughs ) 538 00:20:21,054 --> 00:20:23,154 But you're wired just fine. 539 00:20:23,156 --> 00:20:25,690 Well, what if I'm just a... 540 00:20:25,692 --> 00:20:28,226 A cold person? 541 00:20:28,228 --> 00:20:30,394 Tonight mike was willing to look 542 00:20:30,396 --> 00:20:33,931 Like a complete idiot for me, but I couldn't be gretel. 543 00:20:33,933 --> 00:20:36,534 Why can't I be gretel? 544 00:20:36,536 --> 00:20:38,869 Because you just haven't met the right hansel yet. 545 00:20:38,871 --> 00:20:41,272 Hey, one day, you're gonna meet a guy 546 00:20:41,274 --> 00:20:43,441 Who's gonna make you want to look like a complete idiot. 547 00:20:43,443 --> 00:20:44,742 Really? 548 00:20:44,744 --> 00:20:46,277 Yeah. He's out there somewhere. 549 00:20:46,279 --> 00:20:49,914 Just like the slutty pumpkin... Pumpkin, pumpkin... 550 00:20:50,882 --> 00:20:53,384 How do you do this, ted? 551 00:20:53,386 --> 00:20:57,421 Sit out here all night on the roof in the cold, 552 00:20:57,423 --> 00:20:59,957 And still have faith your pumpkin's gonna show up? 553 00:20:59,959 --> 00:21:03,094 Well, I'm pretty drunk. 554 00:21:03,096 --> 00:21:04,295 ( Iaughs ) 555 00:21:04,297 --> 00:21:06,697 Look, I know that odds are, 556 00:21:06,699 --> 00:21:09,367 The love of my life isn't gonna magically walk through that door 557 00:21:09,369 --> 00:21:13,471 In a pumpkin costume at 2:43 in the morning, but 558 00:21:13,473 --> 00:21:16,407 This seems as nice a spot as any to just, 559 00:21:16,409 --> 00:21:20,378 You know, sit and wait. 560 00:21:25,717 --> 00:21:27,852 ( Soft groan) 561 00:21:31,923 --> 00:21:37,728 ♪ I want to know what it's like on the inside of love... ♪ 562 00:21:37,730 --> 00:21:41,799 Captioned by media access group at wgbh access. Wgbh. Org