1
00:01:26,505 --> 00:01:30,101
Can you believe that? A musical
version of "Sweet Bird of Youth."

2
00:01:30,176 --> 00:01:33,373
- Who are they kidding?
- Thank God, you wanted to leave.

3
00:01:33,446 --> 00:01:37,177
Can you believe Madeline Ashton?
Talk about waking the dead.

4
00:01:37,250 --> 00:01:39,775
I gotta get a drink.

5
00:01:51,832 --> 00:01:55,962
<i>♪ What do I see ♪</i>

6
00:01:56,037 --> 00:02:01,532
<i>♪ That's the question
I'm most afraid of ♪</i>

7
00:02:01,609 --> 00:02:11,110
<i>♪ One that asks me
what I'm really made of ♪</i>

8
00:02:13,255 --> 00:02:17,123
<i>♪ What do I see ♪</i>

9
00:02:17,192 --> 00:02:23,461
<i>♪ Much more than a reflection ♪</i>

10
00:02:23,532 --> 00:02:31,372
<i>♪ A romance with sheer perfection ♪</i>

11
00:02:33,209 --> 00:02:36,645
<i>♪ I see me I see me ♪</i>

12
00:02:36,712 --> 00:02:40,375
<i>♪ Actress, woman star and lover ♪</i>

13
00:02:40,450 --> 00:02:44,944
<i>♪ Sister, sweetheart slave and mother ♪</i>

14
00:02:45,021 --> 00:02:46,716
<i>♪ I see me ♪</i>

15
00:02:46,789 --> 00:02:48,757
<i>♪ And I like what I see ♪</i>

16
00:02:48,825 --> 00:02:52,421
<i>♪ Virgin, temptress dream of others ♪</i>

17
00:02:52,496 --> 00:02:54,896
<i>♪ Yes, it's me ♪</i>

18
00:02:54,965 --> 00:02:58,867
<i>♪ Yes, it's me ♪</i>

19
00:03:05,175 --> 00:03:08,542
<i>- ♪ We see you ♪
- ♪ You mean me ♪</i>

20
00:03:08,612 --> 00:03:12,208
<i>♪ Idol, goddess shameless hussy ♪</i>

21
00:03:12,283 --> 00:03:16,743
<i>♪ Diva, princess lewd and lusty ♪</i>

22
00:03:20,625 --> 00:03:24,152
<i>♪ Ah ah ah ah ah ah ♪</i>

23
00:03:24,229 --> 00:03:27,790
<i>♪ Ah ah ah ah ah ah ♪</i>

24
00:03:48,053 --> 00:03:50,921
(SNORING)

25
00:03:59,466 --> 00:04:02,526
She's sensational.

26
00:04:07,741 --> 00:04:11,234
♪ That's not me
Can't be me ♪

27
00:04:11,312 --> 00:04:14,770
<i>- ♪ Angel devil ♪
- ♪ You can trust me ♪</i>

28
00:04:14,849 --> 00:04:17,613
<i>♪ Mon ami ♪</i>

29
00:04:17,685 --> 00:04:19,915
<i>♪ I see ♪</i>

30
00:04:25,126 --> 00:04:27,060
<i>♪ Whoo-whoo ♪</i>

31
00:04:29,564 --> 00:04:33,592
<i>♪ Everywhere I look, baby all I see is ♪</i>

32
00:04:33,669 --> 00:04:35,534
<i>- ♪ A contradiction ♪
- ♪ Oh, come on ♪</i>

33
00:04:35,604 --> 00:04:37,299
<i>- ♪ A bad addiction ♪
- ♪ Knock it off ♪</i>

34
00:04:37,372 --> 00:04:41,103
<i>- ♪ Inspiration to a generation ♪
- ♪ Now you're talkin' ♪</i>

35
00:04:41,176 --> 00:04:43,701
<i>♪ That's you ♪</i>

36
00:04:43,779 --> 00:04:50,310
<i>♪ That's me ♪♪</i>

37
00:04:53,556 --> 00:04:55,581
Wow!

38
00:04:55,658 --> 00:04:58,388
Oh, boy!

39
00:04:58,461 --> 00:05:00,929
Whoo!

40
00:05:00,997 --> 00:05:03,261
Whoo!

41
00:05:04,500 --> 00:05:08,834
Wrinkled, wrinkled little star,

42
00:05:08,905 --> 00:05:12,637
hope they never see the scars.

43
00:05:18,415 --> 00:05:21,009
Your guests are here,
Miss Ashton.

44
00:05:21,085 --> 00:05:23,781
A Miss Helen Sharp
with a gentleman.

45
00:05:23,854 --> 00:05:27,153
- Ahh. How's she look?
- Who?

46
00:05:27,224 --> 00:05:29,624
Helen, you idiot.

47
00:05:29,693 --> 00:05:32,390
I don't know.
Smart, I guess, sort of classy.

48
00:05:32,464 --> 00:05:35,262
Classy? Really?
Compared to whom?

49
00:05:35,333 --> 00:05:39,565
Oh, shit.

50
00:05:39,638 --> 00:05:41,572
(KNOCKING)

51
00:05:46,411 --> 00:05:48,709
(KNOCKING)

52
00:05:56,555 --> 00:05:58,182
Mad!

53
00:05:58,257 --> 00:06:00,817
Hel!

54
00:06:03,396 --> 00:06:06,331
- I don't believe it.
- How are you?

55
00:06:06,399 --> 00:06:08,458
- It's been so long.
- I know.

56
00:06:08,534 --> 00:06:11,470
Don't you dare say how long.

57
00:06:11,538 --> 00:06:14,666
Mad, I'd like you to meet...

58
00:06:14,741 --> 00:06:16,709
Dr. Ernest Menville, my fiance.

59
00:06:16,777 --> 00:06:19,507
You were just wonderful.

60
00:06:19,579 --> 00:06:22,377
Ernest Menville? Dr. Ernest
Menville, the plastic surgeon?

61
00:06:22,449 --> 00:06:26,715
- Yes. You were so terrific!
- Ernest is quite a fan.

62
00:06:26,787 --> 00:06:29,551
- I've read all about you.
- That dance number. Boy, oh, boy.

63
00:06:29,623 --> 00:06:33,116
- I can't believe I'm meeting you.
- He never mentioned a Madeline thing.

64
00:06:33,194 --> 00:06:38,222
- We're both huge fans.
- I'm sure he doesn't have a... thing.

65
00:06:38,299 --> 00:06:41,359
Do you?
(CHUCKLING)

66
00:06:41,436 --> 00:06:46,965
Well, I'm so happy
for you... both.

67
00:06:47,041 --> 00:06:51,035
What ever happened to that,
um, writing thing?

68
00:06:51,113 --> 00:06:55,174
- Oh, well, um, I'm still trying.
- Helen, don't be modest.

69
00:06:55,250 --> 00:06:59,710
- She's a brilliant writer, Mrs. Ashton.
- Miss.

70
00:06:59,788 --> 00:07:02,154
Tell me, Doctor,

71
00:07:02,224 --> 00:07:05,682
do you think that
I'm starting to need you?

72
00:07:06,962 --> 00:07:08,327
Ahem.

73
00:07:08,397 --> 00:07:10,889
So...

74
00:07:12,469 --> 00:07:14,437
have you two set a date?

75
00:07:14,504 --> 00:07:16,870
- Yes... we have.
- No, actually--

76
00:07:18,408 --> 00:07:22,310
ERNEST: We see the upper
eyelid skin incision...

77
00:07:22,379 --> 00:07:25,815
from the medial canthus
to the lateral orbital margin.

78
00:07:25,882 --> 00:07:28,976
There are two fat compartments in the
upper eyelid, three in the lower.

79
00:07:29,052 --> 00:07:31,715
Oops. Look at all this bleeding.

80
00:07:31,789 --> 00:07:36,089
- Needle-tip cautery. Quickly, please.
- (KNOCKING)

81
00:07:41,599 --> 00:07:45,000
ERNEST: For heaven's sake,
Helen, it was a dinner.

82
00:07:45,069 --> 00:07:47,765
The woman wanted
my professional opinion.

83
00:07:47,838 --> 00:07:51,070
Ernest, you don't know Madeline
the way I do.

84
00:07:51,143 --> 00:07:54,840
She wants you. She wants
you because you're mine.

85
00:07:54,913 --> 00:07:57,347
I've lost men to her before.

86
00:07:57,416 --> 00:08:01,443
She just turns on that flash
and that glitter and they're gone.

87
00:08:01,520 --> 00:08:04,580
That's why I wanted you to meet
her before we got married.

88
00:08:04,656 --> 00:08:09,457
I just had to see if you could
pass the Madeline Ashton test.

89
00:08:09,528 --> 00:08:13,124
Please...
Please, don't fail.

90
00:08:13,199 --> 00:08:17,192
I couldn't take it again.

91
00:08:17,270 --> 00:08:19,864
I don't know what I'd do.

92
00:08:19,939 --> 00:08:24,171
Do you know how
silly you're sounding?

93
00:08:25,478 --> 00:08:27,537
Oh, darling,

94
00:08:27,613 --> 00:08:32,176
I have absolutely no interest
in Madeline Ashton.

95
00:09:01,582 --> 00:09:03,379
(MEOWING)

96
00:09:49,699 --> 00:09:51,964
(KNOCKING)

97
00:09:52,035 --> 00:09:55,562
Mrs. Helen Sharp? It's your landlord.
Open the door, please.

98
00:09:55,639 --> 00:09:58,574
(POUNDING)
I know you're in there!

99
00:09:58,642 --> 00:10:01,475
I have your final
eviction notice.

100
00:10:01,545 --> 00:10:03,604
(POUNDING)
If you don't come out,

101
00:10:03,680 --> 00:10:07,980
- I'm going to break the door.
- What are you doing here?

102
00:10:08,051 --> 00:10:11,419
I have the police. If you don't open,
we're going to break the door.

103
00:10:11,489 --> 00:10:16,392
- Well, speak!
- I'm going to charge you for it too.

104
00:10:16,461 --> 00:10:21,228
- Lady, let's go.
- You heard what he said.

105
00:10:21,299 --> 00:10:25,463
(POUNDING)

106
00:10:25,536 --> 00:10:30,030
(POUNDING)
You're in trouble.

107
00:10:30,109 --> 00:10:34,375
(POUNDING)
Come on. Open it!

108
00:10:34,446 --> 00:10:35,845
(POUNDING)

109
00:10:48,494 --> 00:10:52,659
Lady, listen. You have the
right to remain silent.

110
00:10:52,732 --> 00:10:55,166
If you give up the right
to remain silent--

111
00:10:55,235 --> 00:10:58,329
Are you nuts?

112
00:10:58,405 --> 00:11:00,737
Come on.
Get her outta here!

113
00:11:00,807 --> 00:11:02,968
So...

114
00:11:06,046 --> 00:11:08,139
What about you, Helen?

115
00:11:08,214 --> 00:11:12,083
We haven't heard from you
in a while.

116
00:11:12,153 --> 00:11:15,316
Is there anything...

117
00:11:15,389 --> 00:11:19,325
you'd like to...
talk about... with the group?

118
00:11:26,100 --> 00:11:28,068
Yes.

119
00:11:32,474 --> 00:11:36,274
I would like to talk about...

120
00:11:36,344 --> 00:11:39,609
Madeline...

121
00:11:39,681 --> 00:11:41,046
- Ashton.
- (SCREAMING)

122
00:11:41,116 --> 00:11:43,346
Stop! Stop it!
Stop!

123
00:11:43,418 --> 00:11:46,216
- (SCREAMING)
- No! No!

124
00:11:51,961 --> 00:11:54,327
Is this where we are, Helen?

125
00:11:54,397 --> 00:11:57,764
Six months of therapy.
You're not one pound lighter.

126
00:11:57,834 --> 00:12:00,735
And we are still talking
about Madeline Ashton!

127
00:12:00,803 --> 00:12:04,569
- You think I enjoy talking about her?
- Do you think I enjoy it?

128
00:12:04,640 --> 00:12:07,632
Is that what you think?
You better think again!

129
00:12:07,710 --> 00:12:12,375
Oh, Helen,
for you to have a life,

130
00:12:12,449 --> 00:12:15,850
for any of us to have a life,

131
00:12:15,919 --> 00:12:18,012
you have got to forget
about her.

132
00:12:18,088 --> 00:12:20,488
You have to erase her
from your mind.

133
00:12:20,557 --> 00:12:24,254
- You have to completely eliminate any--
- What?

134
00:12:24,328 --> 00:12:27,354
You have to completely
eliminate--

135
00:12:27,431 --> 00:12:29,922
You're right.

136
00:12:30,000 --> 00:12:31,366
What?

137
00:12:31,436 --> 00:12:35,236
You're absolutely right.

138
00:12:53,492 --> 00:12:55,426
SPEAKER:
Yes?

139
00:12:55,494 --> 00:12:59,396
I have a delivery for Madeline
Ashton and Dr. Ernest Menville.

140
00:13:01,133 --> 00:13:03,897
(PANTING)

141
00:13:11,511 --> 00:13:15,072
(SNORING)

142
00:13:34,535 --> 00:13:36,901
(WHISPERING)
Good morning, madam.

143
00:13:36,971 --> 00:13:40,873
You look absolutely marvelous.

144
00:13:40,942 --> 00:13:43,342
Hey, wait a minute.

145
00:13:44,512 --> 00:13:46,946
Aren't you forgetting something?

146
00:13:47,014 --> 00:13:50,109
- It's only Thursday. I'm supposed to--
- Never mind.

147
00:13:50,185 --> 00:13:53,245
I think I need you
to say it every morning.

148
00:13:53,322 --> 00:13:55,483
Very well.

149
00:13:55,557 --> 00:13:58,117
Oh, madam,
you look younger every day.

150
00:13:58,193 --> 00:14:01,890
Thank you, Rose.
Thank you very much.

151
00:14:01,964 --> 00:14:04,091
It's so sweet--
What is this?

152
00:14:04,166 --> 00:14:08,500
Your tickets for
Helen Sharp's book party.

153
00:14:08,570 --> 00:14:11,369
They just came.

154
00:14:11,441 --> 00:14:14,740
Helen Sharp's book party!

155
00:14:14,811 --> 00:14:17,780
- "Forever Young"?
- I like that title.

156
00:14:17,847 --> 00:14:20,441
(LAUGHING)

157
00:14:20,516 --> 00:14:24,213
Oh, forever young!
Right.

158
00:14:24,287 --> 00:14:27,313
And eternally fat!

159
00:14:27,390 --> 00:14:32,055
Oh, clever little witch.
She sent seating assignments.

160
00:14:33,430 --> 00:14:35,898
I find it very hard
to believe...

161
00:14:35,966 --> 00:14:39,834
that he got up early
and made his side of the bed.

162
00:14:39,904 --> 00:14:44,238
- No, madam.
- So where did he sleep?

163
00:14:44,308 --> 00:14:46,401
Again?

164
00:14:48,779 --> 00:14:52,739
TV: The beaver has always
been of interest to man.

165
00:14:52,817 --> 00:14:54,808
(BEEPING)

166
00:14:54,886 --> 00:14:58,117
It is the second largest
rodent in the world.

167
00:14:58,189 --> 00:15:02,455
(BEEPING)

168
00:15:02,527 --> 00:15:04,688
(BEEPING STOPS)

169
00:15:04,763 --> 00:15:07,493
Dr. Menville?

170
00:15:07,565 --> 00:15:11,900
Dr. Menville?

171
00:15:14,440 --> 00:15:17,204
Is this an angel
I see before me?

172
00:15:17,276 --> 00:15:21,872
- Dr. Menville, you're so cute.
- Thank you, Rose.

173
00:15:27,219 --> 00:15:30,712
Oh!

174
00:15:30,791 --> 00:15:34,352
More vodka.

175
00:15:34,428 --> 00:15:36,828
An outstanding characteristic
of a beaver...

176
00:15:36,897 --> 00:15:41,925
is the large, flat tail.

177
00:15:47,975 --> 00:15:51,036
- Is it up yet?
- Yes, sir.

178
00:15:51,112 --> 00:15:53,910
It's in the bath.

179
00:15:53,982 --> 00:15:58,578
Your beeper was beeping.
It's Mr. Franklin again.

180
00:16:09,397 --> 00:16:11,992
Rose!
Oh, it's you.

181
00:16:12,067 --> 00:16:14,763
Fine, dear, thank you.
Like a rock.

182
00:16:14,837 --> 00:16:16,964
You're dressed.
Special occasion?

183
00:16:17,039 --> 00:16:18,973
- Work.
- Ghoul!

184
00:16:19,041 --> 00:16:22,033
Dr. Menville,
thank God.

185
00:16:22,111 --> 00:16:25,774
- I'm sorry to call at the last minute.
- Yes.

186
00:16:25,848 --> 00:16:30,309
He's completely prepped. Our top staff
have been summoned and are waiting.

187
00:16:30,387 --> 00:16:32,821
Good, I'm sure he'll be fine.
Just calm down.

188
00:16:32,889 --> 00:16:36,222
Calm? I am calm.
Everyone is calm here.

189
00:16:36,292 --> 00:16:38,817
- Who is it?
- Fernando Rivas, the actor.

190
00:16:38,895 --> 00:16:43,127
He drowned in his hot tub.
Very bloated, very swollen.

191
00:16:43,199 --> 00:16:46,327
He was making love
to his new fiancee.

192
00:16:46,403 --> 00:16:49,531
Eighteen years old, from Cuba.

193
00:16:49,606 --> 00:16:52,371
He's got this expression of happiness
that is completely inappropriate.

194
00:16:52,443 --> 00:16:56,675
Thank you, Mr. Franklin, we'll see if
we can't give him a little character,

195
00:16:56,747 --> 00:16:59,409
- a little depth.
- Depth?

196
00:16:59,483 --> 00:17:04,011
Oh, no, Dr. Menville, you can't
give him any character or depth.

197
00:17:04,088 --> 00:17:07,148
People have to recognize him.

198
00:17:07,224 --> 00:17:11,093
- Good afternoon, Miss Ashton.
- 3:00 with Anna.

199
00:17:11,163 --> 00:17:13,222
Yes, I know.
You may go down.

200
00:17:19,538 --> 00:17:23,474
Miss Ashton, how are you?
So good to see you!

201
00:17:23,542 --> 00:17:27,603
Listen, I've got a really
important party tonight.

202
00:17:27,679 --> 00:17:30,945
Really important.
You understand?

203
00:17:31,017 --> 00:17:34,612
You will be the best one!

204
00:17:34,687 --> 00:17:37,315
I have to be better than that.

205
00:17:37,390 --> 00:17:39,517
I am sorry,
but the plasma separation...

206
00:17:39,592 --> 00:17:42,220
is a very traumatic
process to the body!

207
00:17:42,295 --> 00:17:44,786
Our policy clearly prohibits...

208
00:17:44,864 --> 00:17:47,833
more than one
in a six-month period.

209
00:17:47,900 --> 00:17:50,426
So? It's been nearly
that long already.

210
00:17:50,504 --> 00:17:54,964
Miss Ashton, you had one
three weeks ago.

211
00:17:55,042 --> 00:17:58,603
- How about a nice collagen buff?
- "A collagen buff"?

212
00:17:58,679 --> 00:18:01,910
You might as well ask me
to wash with soap and water!

213
00:18:03,884 --> 00:18:06,785
Tonight is
very important to me.

214
00:18:06,854 --> 00:18:10,723
- I could do your makeup myself.
- Makeup is pointless!

215
00:18:10,792 --> 00:18:13,488
It does nothing anymore.

216
00:18:13,561 --> 00:18:15,825
Are you listening to me?
Do you even care?

217
00:18:15,897 --> 00:18:19,196
You stand there with your 22-year-old
skin and your tits like rocks...

218
00:18:19,267 --> 00:18:22,134
and laugh at me.

219
00:18:28,776 --> 00:18:31,007
Mmm.

220
00:18:31,080 --> 00:18:35,414
I could pay you extra.

221
00:18:35,484 --> 00:18:39,181
Something...
on a personal basis.

222
00:18:39,255 --> 00:18:42,088
You know what I mean?
How about that?

223
00:18:42,158 --> 00:18:45,127
Money is no object.
It means nothing to me.

224
00:18:45,194 --> 00:18:47,628
- Ahem.
- (GASPING)

225
00:18:47,696 --> 00:18:51,428
I'm sorry, Mr. Chagall.
I'm really, really sorry.

226
00:18:51,501 --> 00:18:54,334
Anna, don't talk, just go away.

227
00:18:54,404 --> 00:18:56,838
Leave us alone, mmm?

228
00:18:56,907 --> 00:19:00,035
- I don't want to look at you anymore.
- Oh, okay.

229
00:19:00,110 --> 00:19:02,237
Thank you so much.

230
00:19:04,147 --> 00:19:06,775
Please.

231
00:19:08,485 --> 00:19:11,353
- I suppose I should apologize.
- Oh, no, no.

232
00:19:11,422 --> 00:19:16,086
I am very sensitive
to your torment.

233
00:19:16,160 --> 00:19:19,459
- Excuse me?
- But unfortunately we are mere mortals.

234
00:19:19,530 --> 00:19:24,900
We are restricted by the...
laws of nature.

235
00:19:24,969 --> 00:19:27,995
Well, what more
could one expect?

236
00:19:28,072 --> 00:19:30,974
Mmm, mmm, that depends.

237
00:19:31,043 --> 00:19:36,481
I could not help but overhear your
little joke about money being no object.

238
00:19:36,548 --> 00:19:39,449
- That was no joke!
- I see.

239
00:19:41,820 --> 00:19:44,186
I wonder, Miss Ashton,

240
00:19:44,256 --> 00:19:48,352
if perhaps you have
ever heard of...

241
00:19:50,530 --> 00:19:52,498
Lisle Von Rhuman?

242
00:19:52,565 --> 00:19:55,125
Ah... no.

243
00:19:55,201 --> 00:19:58,136
No, of course you haven't.
Very few have.

244
00:19:58,204 --> 00:20:00,331
Only a select group.

245
00:20:00,406 --> 00:20:03,307
She may be able to help you.

246
00:20:04,644 --> 00:20:08,205
Here is her address.

247
00:20:08,281 --> 00:20:10,682
She accepts callers day...
and night.

248
00:20:10,751 --> 00:20:12,184
Eh...

249
00:20:12,253 --> 00:20:16,553
It is a very, very select group,
you understand?

250
00:20:16,624 --> 00:20:19,058
Sure.

251
00:20:21,462 --> 00:20:25,330
I'm glad this happened,
Miss Ashton.

252
00:20:25,399 --> 00:20:29,733
We shall be seeing
more of you, I think.

253
00:20:29,803 --> 00:20:31,897
Yes, I think so.

254
00:20:38,280 --> 00:20:40,681
Weirdo.

255
00:20:40,815 --> 00:20:42,680
(LOUD BREATHING)

256
00:20:47,755 --> 00:20:50,782
Could you just not breathe?

257
00:21:00,702 --> 00:21:03,865
Jesus, what'd she do?
Hire extras?

258
00:21:03,939 --> 00:21:05,907
Good evening.

259
00:21:08,610 --> 00:21:11,546
Evian, please.
No ice.

260
00:21:12,782 --> 00:21:15,182
- Dr. Menville?
- Yes.

261
00:21:15,251 --> 00:21:18,118
- Ernest Menville?
- Yes.

262
00:21:18,187 --> 00:21:22,453
- Hi, I'm Vivian Adams.
- Hi, h-h-have we met?

263
00:21:22,525 --> 00:21:24,959
Long ago. I never had
a chance to thank you...

264
00:21:25,027 --> 00:21:30,227
for the spectacular job
you did with my Aunt Esther.

265
00:21:30,300 --> 00:21:32,734
Oh, well, thank you very much.

266
00:21:32,803 --> 00:21:35,533
Her color, her tone.

267
00:21:35,606 --> 00:21:39,633
- You even brought out her cheekbones.
- Well, that's my job.

268
00:21:39,710 --> 00:21:42,406
It was almost a shame
to bury her.

269
00:21:42,479 --> 00:21:44,743
It's so sweet of you
to say that.

270
00:21:44,815 --> 00:21:47,716
Can I ask you
what your secret is?

271
00:21:47,784 --> 00:21:49,911
Spray paint.

272
00:21:51,289 --> 00:21:55,885
You see, you can't just use
regular makeup on dead skin.

273
00:21:55,960 --> 00:21:57,894
The pores are too dry.

274
00:21:57,962 --> 00:22:00,954
You've gotta use a palette
and grind the stuff in.

275
00:22:01,032 --> 00:22:04,468
One day I'm in the hardware store and
I think, "What about mannequin paint?"

276
00:22:04,536 --> 00:22:09,371
It's got its own chemical adhesive,
comes in a variety of flesh--

277
00:22:10,709 --> 00:22:13,371
Excuse me!

278
00:22:29,295 --> 00:22:31,491
Have you seen her yet?

279
00:22:31,565 --> 00:22:35,729
- What a joke. She's not even here.
- (APPLAUSE)

280
00:22:37,470 --> 00:22:41,600
- Oh, look over there.
- Wh--

281
00:22:41,675 --> 00:22:46,305
MADELINE: Oh, looks as though
she's lost a few pounds!

282
00:22:52,019 --> 00:22:55,250
- We're leaving.
- Nonsense. Let's go talk to her.

283
00:22:55,323 --> 00:22:59,487
No. I'll talk to her.

284
00:23:00,962 --> 00:23:05,558
I just want you to know
that I am at your disposal.

285
00:23:05,633 --> 00:23:08,966
You can call me day or night.

286
00:23:09,036 --> 00:23:11,699
I did give you all my numbers?

287
00:23:25,120 --> 00:23:26,451
Mad?

288
00:23:26,521 --> 00:23:29,354
Hel!

289
00:23:35,498 --> 00:23:38,990
I don't believe it!

290
00:23:39,068 --> 00:23:44,370
Helen, darling, 12 years!
12 long years!

291
00:23:44,440 --> 00:23:47,807
And look at you,
you have a... waist.

292
00:23:47,877 --> 00:23:51,041
Oh, you haven't changed.

293
00:23:51,115 --> 00:23:54,243
Gosh, I'm glad you came.
I didn't know if you would.

294
00:23:54,318 --> 00:23:56,786
I spoke to my P.R. woman
and she said,

295
00:23:56,854 --> 00:23:59,789
"Madeline Ashton goes
to the opening of an envelope."

296
00:23:59,857 --> 00:24:02,621
Those people can be so cruel.

297
00:24:02,693 --> 00:24:05,992
I fired her.
Well, I almost fired her.

298
00:24:06,063 --> 00:24:08,361
Well, that was
sweet of you, dear.

299
00:24:08,432 --> 00:24:10,492
- Would you mind?
- Not at all.

300
00:24:10,568 --> 00:24:15,198
- So, how's it been?
- Heaven, it's absolute heaven.

301
00:24:15,273 --> 00:24:18,208
- Ernest is a dream.
- I'm so happy for you both.

302
00:24:18,276 --> 00:24:21,143
I often thought to myself
"I don't deserve this"...

303
00:24:21,212 --> 00:24:24,306
because it came
at your expense.

304
00:24:24,382 --> 00:24:27,943
And that thought
made me feel... terrible.

305
00:24:28,019 --> 00:24:31,285
Listen, that was a long time ago.

306
00:24:31,357 --> 00:24:35,623
You didn't steal him.
He went to you.

307
00:24:35,695 --> 00:24:38,789
It wasn't you.
It was him.

308
00:24:38,864 --> 00:24:41,765
I want you to know something.

309
00:24:41,834 --> 00:24:47,295
I have never ever blamed you.
Never!

310
00:24:55,816 --> 00:25:00,150
- Do you believe how she looks?
- How old is she?

311
00:25:00,220 --> 00:25:02,848
- Fifty.
- Fifty?

312
00:25:02,923 --> 00:25:05,323
You've gotta be kidding.

313
00:25:05,392 --> 00:25:08,919
I wonder what her secret is.

314
00:25:31,053 --> 00:25:35,683
- Life has turned out as quite a party.
- You used to hate parties.

315
00:25:35,758 --> 00:25:38,955
That was when I was old.
You should see me now.

316
00:25:39,027 --> 00:25:42,428
I didn't know
you were so unhappy.

317
00:25:46,268 --> 00:25:48,759
Never could lie to you.

318
00:25:51,007 --> 00:25:55,410
I know about the kind of...
work you're doing now.

319
00:25:55,478 --> 00:25:57,639
It's not work.

320
00:25:57,714 --> 00:26:01,878
I would sell my soul
to be able to operate again.

321
00:26:01,951 --> 00:26:06,445
- Oh, Helen, I've wasted my life.
- No, Ernest.

322
00:26:06,523 --> 00:26:09,356
She's wasted you.

323
00:26:09,425 --> 00:26:12,418
She married
a brilliant surgeon...

324
00:26:12,496 --> 00:26:15,294
and turned him
into an undertaker.

325
00:26:15,366 --> 00:26:18,301
I want you to know something.

326
00:26:18,369 --> 00:26:21,998
I have never blamed you
for leaving me.

327
00:26:22,072 --> 00:26:25,235
I always knew it was her.

328
00:26:25,309 --> 00:26:28,176
She's a woman.

329
00:26:28,245 --> 00:26:31,875
A woman, Ernest.

330
00:26:31,950 --> 00:26:34,248
From Newark, for God's sakes.

331
00:26:34,319 --> 00:26:39,655
I will never forgive her
for what she's done to you.

332
00:26:41,359 --> 00:26:43,384
Never.

333
00:26:55,308 --> 00:26:58,744
(FOOTSTEPS)

334
00:27:15,596 --> 00:27:17,962
MADELINE: Dakota!

335
00:27:18,031 --> 00:27:20,591
Oh!
(CHUCKLING)

336
00:27:20,667 --> 00:27:22,601
Oh!

337
00:27:25,005 --> 00:27:26,836
- What's wrong?
- Nothing.

338
00:27:26,907 --> 00:27:28,966
I didn't know
you were coming over.

339
00:27:29,042 --> 00:27:31,603
- Oh, my God, you're not alone.
- Of course I am.

340
00:27:31,679 --> 00:27:34,477
- I'm completely alone.
- GIRL: Dakota?

341
00:27:34,549 --> 00:27:37,712
Actually, completely
isn't quite what I meant.

342
00:27:37,785 --> 00:27:41,551
- How dare you make me feel cheap!
- Madeline, I forgot.

343
00:27:41,623 --> 00:27:44,615
- She's here to-- She's here to fix--
- Who is she?

344
00:27:44,692 --> 00:27:47,559
- I'm trying to tell you--
- Who is the little piece of meat?

345
00:27:47,629 --> 00:27:50,895
She's a friend of, of,
the guy who was here to--

346
00:27:50,966 --> 00:27:54,902
- Jesus, at least lie quickly!
- I am trying to.

347
00:27:54,970 --> 00:28:00,636
Look, you gotta believe me.
This is perfectly innocent.

348
00:28:04,513 --> 00:28:07,414
(THUNDER)

349
00:28:14,624 --> 00:28:16,592
Hey, hey, hey.

350
00:28:16,660 --> 00:28:18,992
I'm sick of this shit,
you know that?

351
00:28:19,062 --> 00:28:21,724
- I am doing you a favor here.
- Doing me a favor?

352
00:28:21,798 --> 00:28:25,097
- I gave you--
- Yeah, you gave, I gave. Big deal!

353
00:28:25,168 --> 00:28:27,864
Somebody told me we look
ridiculous together.

354
00:28:27,938 --> 00:28:30,373
How do you think
that makes me feel?

355
00:28:30,441 --> 00:28:32,773
You never think
about my feelings.

356
00:28:32,843 --> 00:28:36,210
Go find someone
your own age, Madeline!

357
00:28:53,365 --> 00:28:56,027
(HONKING)

358
00:28:59,371 --> 00:29:01,999
(SOBBING)

359
00:29:05,344 --> 00:29:07,073
(SCREAM)

360
00:29:07,145 --> 00:29:09,170
(HONKING)

361
00:29:34,208 --> 00:29:36,369
(THUNDER)

362
00:29:42,249 --> 00:29:46,049
Madeline! I need to speak
to Madeline at once!

363
00:29:47,187 --> 00:29:49,417
No.

364
00:29:52,494 --> 00:29:56,760
Madeline. I need to speak
to Madeline at once!

365
00:29:56,831 --> 00:29:58,890
Yeah.

366
00:30:17,553 --> 00:30:20,122
(THUNDER)

367
00:30:39,142 --> 00:30:41,667
Geez.

368
00:31:00,097 --> 00:31:03,726
- Good evening. I hope it's not too--
- Not at all, Miss Ashton.

369
00:31:03,801 --> 00:31:06,497
Miss Von Rhuman's expecting you.

370
00:31:06,571 --> 00:31:09,768
She is?

371
00:31:18,350 --> 00:31:21,012
Wait here, please.

372
00:31:47,313 --> 00:31:50,306
Follow me, please.

373
00:32:18,446 --> 00:32:21,506
Excuse me.

374
00:32:23,351 --> 00:32:26,081
WOMAN:
I hoped you'd come.

375
00:32:26,154 --> 00:32:30,558
Make some room for my friend,
for Christ's sake!

376
00:32:30,626 --> 00:32:35,256
But...

377
00:32:35,331 --> 00:32:37,856
keep your ass handy.

378
00:32:46,575 --> 00:32:51,980
May I say that
I've always thought yours...

379
00:32:52,049 --> 00:32:57,009
to be one of the most
beautiful faces...

380
00:32:57,087 --> 00:33:00,614
ever to grace
the silver screen.

381
00:33:00,691 --> 00:33:01,953
Oh.

382
00:33:02,025 --> 00:33:04,220
And that husband of yours,

383
00:33:04,294 --> 00:33:08,355
I can only say that
his reputation is unsurpassed.

384
00:33:08,432 --> 00:33:10,367
Oh.

385
00:33:10,435 --> 00:33:14,963
I just arrived in town.
I follow the spring.

386
00:33:15,039 --> 00:33:17,439
I haven't seen an autumn
or winter in years.

387
00:33:20,378 --> 00:33:22,938
We are creatures
of the spring, you and I.

388
00:33:23,014 --> 00:33:27,610
Uh-huh. I'm not really
quite sure why I came.

389
00:33:27,685 --> 00:33:31,019
You're scared as hell...
of yourself,

390
00:33:32,157 --> 00:33:35,820
of the body you thought
you once knew.

391
00:33:35,894 --> 00:33:38,419
I beg your pardon?

392
00:33:39,531 --> 00:33:43,023
I am the one who understands.

393
00:33:43,102 --> 00:33:46,902
I am the one
who knows your secret.

394
00:33:46,972 --> 00:33:49,031
(KNOCKING)

395
00:33:49,108 --> 00:33:51,270
Who is it?

396
00:33:54,514 --> 00:33:58,006
Madeline.
I need to speak to Madeline.

397
00:33:58,084 --> 00:34:00,314
She's not here.

398
00:34:00,386 --> 00:34:03,549
Ah, thank God!

399
00:34:08,094 --> 00:34:11,963
How did you get in?
I didn't hear the gate.

400
00:34:14,135 --> 00:34:16,831
I didn't want you to hear.

401
00:34:16,904 --> 00:34:19,031
Ernest, ask me to go.

402
00:34:19,106 --> 00:34:21,973
Ask me to leave
this house immediately!

403
00:34:22,042 --> 00:34:24,840
- You just got here.
- I know, I know.

404
00:34:24,912 --> 00:34:28,541
But it just took me a glimpse
and I was back where I started.

405
00:34:28,616 --> 00:34:30,881
Where's that?

406
00:34:30,952 --> 00:34:34,285
- Don't pretend you're not aware of it.
- Of what?

407
00:34:34,356 --> 00:34:38,759
You're a powerful
sexual being, Ernest.

408
00:34:38,827 --> 00:34:40,556
I am?

409
00:34:40,629 --> 00:34:42,426
Yes, you are.

410
00:34:42,497 --> 00:34:45,625
If I never told you before,
it's because...

411
00:34:45,700 --> 00:34:49,136
I wasn't the sort of girl
that could say the word...

412
00:34:49,204 --> 00:34:52,766
"sexual" without blushing.

413
00:34:55,545 --> 00:34:58,036
Well, I can now.

414
00:34:59,749 --> 00:35:02,775
Sexual.

415
00:35:03,519 --> 00:35:06,079
Sensual.

416
00:35:07,657 --> 00:35:09,818
Sexy.

417
00:35:11,261 --> 00:35:14,059
Sex.

418
00:35:14,131 --> 00:35:17,100
Sex.

419
00:35:17,167 --> 00:35:19,192
- Sex!
- (WHIMPER)

420
00:35:23,040 --> 00:35:27,636
So warm, so full of life.

421
00:35:27,711 --> 00:35:31,876
And already
it ebbs away from you.

422
00:35:31,950 --> 00:35:35,078
This is life's
ultimate cruelty.

423
00:35:35,153 --> 00:35:38,816
It offers us the taste
of youth and vitality...

424
00:35:38,890 --> 00:35:42,917
and then makes us
witness our own decay.

425
00:35:44,262 --> 00:35:46,594
Well, it is the natural law.

426
00:35:46,664 --> 00:35:49,132
Screw the natural law!

427
00:36:42,723 --> 00:36:45,248
What is that?

428
00:36:45,326 --> 00:36:49,558
What you came for.

429
00:36:49,630 --> 00:36:52,623
A touch of magic...

430
00:36:52,701 --> 00:36:57,001
in this world
obsessed with science.

431
00:36:58,840 --> 00:37:01,274
A tonic.

432
00:37:02,911 --> 00:37:05,209
A potion.

433
00:37:06,949 --> 00:37:08,917
What does it do?

434
00:37:08,984 --> 00:37:12,477
How old would you guess I am?

435
00:37:15,391 --> 00:37:18,485
I wouldn't--

436
00:37:18,561 --> 00:37:21,325
Come on.
Don't try to flatter me.

437
00:37:21,397 --> 00:37:23,888
Thirty eight.

438
00:37:24,934 --> 00:37:26,993
Oh, twenty eight.
Twenty... three?

439
00:37:27,070 --> 00:37:30,768
I am seventy-one years old.

440
00:37:30,841 --> 00:37:34,174
That's what it does.

441
00:37:34,244 --> 00:37:37,702
It stops the aging process
dead in its tracks...

442
00:37:37,781 --> 00:37:40,011
and forces it into retreat.

443
00:37:40,084 --> 00:37:44,851
Drink that potion and you'll
never grow even one day older.

444
00:37:44,922 --> 00:37:50,259
Don't drink it... and continue
to watch yourself rot.

445
00:37:51,162 --> 00:37:53,096
How much is it?

446
00:37:55,667 --> 00:37:59,603
The sordid topic of coin...

447
00:37:59,671 --> 00:38:02,401
I'm afraid is not so simple.

448
00:38:02,474 --> 00:38:06,843
The cost, you see,
it's different for everyone.

449
00:38:06,911 --> 00:38:10,211
Well, for me, how much?

450
00:38:23,229 --> 00:38:25,390
(GASP)

451
00:38:25,464 --> 00:38:30,596
Well, thank you very much.
I think I should be going.

452
00:38:30,670 --> 00:38:32,900
Sit!

453
00:38:47,854 --> 00:38:50,653
Hold out your hand.

454
00:38:54,362 --> 00:38:57,964
(SCREAM)
What are you, nuts?

455
00:38:58,098 --> 00:39:00,191
Watch.

456
00:39:19,387 --> 00:39:21,355
(GASP)

457
00:39:26,994 --> 00:39:29,428
Check okay?

458
00:39:29,497 --> 00:39:31,432
Fine.

459
00:39:31,500 --> 00:39:34,128
But you must make me a promise.

460
00:39:34,203 --> 00:39:37,070
The secret that we share
must never become public.

461
00:39:37,139 --> 00:39:39,767
You may continue your career
for ten years,

462
00:39:39,842 --> 00:39:43,073
ten years of perfect,
unchanged beauty.

463
00:39:43,145 --> 00:39:47,844
But at the end of that time,
before people become suspicious,

464
00:39:47,916 --> 00:39:50,818
you have to disappear
from public view forever.

465
00:39:50,887 --> 00:39:53,082
You can retire.

466
00:39:53,156 --> 00:39:56,387
You can stage
your own phony death...

467
00:39:56,459 --> 00:39:59,019
or...

468
00:39:59,095 --> 00:40:02,622
as one of my clients
simply said,

469
00:40:02,699 --> 00:40:05,600
(AS GRETA GARBO)
"I vant to be alone, yah."

470
00:40:05,668 --> 00:40:08,603
No! She's not!

471
00:40:09,773 --> 00:40:11,708
Wow!

472
00:40:38,003 --> 00:40:40,597
Bottoms up.

473
00:40:53,719 --> 00:40:57,815
- Now, a warning.
- Now, a warning?

474
00:40:57,890 --> 00:41:01,382
Take care of yourself.

475
00:41:01,461 --> 00:41:07,229
You and your body are going
to be together a long time.

476
00:41:07,300 --> 00:41:09,996
Be good to it.

477
00:41:11,705 --> 00:41:15,607
Siempre viva.
Live forever.

478
00:41:56,619 --> 00:42:00,749
I can't believe--
Did you--

479
00:42:00,823 --> 00:42:03,621
Oh... I'm a girl!

480
00:42:03,692 --> 00:42:06,991
Shh.

481
00:42:07,062 --> 00:42:10,396
Ernest, oh, we gotta stop.

482
00:42:10,467 --> 00:42:12,958
- (GASPING)
- I know we-- I know we--

483
00:42:13,036 --> 00:42:15,402
Really, Ernest. Oh.

484
00:42:15,472 --> 00:42:17,963
Ernest, don't be angry with me.

485
00:42:18,041 --> 00:42:21,408
I'm fighting this as hard
as I can, but just--

486
00:42:21,478 --> 00:42:23,139
Look at you!

487
00:42:25,582 --> 00:42:28,346
She's already destroyed
your career.

488
00:42:28,418 --> 00:42:31,013
Now she's breaking your heart,

489
00:42:31,088 --> 00:42:33,818
stealing your pride,

490
00:42:33,891 --> 00:42:36,257
flaunting her lovers...

491
00:42:36,327 --> 00:42:39,694
- all over town.
- You know about that?

492
00:42:39,764 --> 00:42:43,359
Everyone does.

493
00:42:43,434 --> 00:42:47,029
At the party,
people spoke of nothing else.

494
00:42:47,104 --> 00:42:49,902
How can you love me, Helen?

495
00:42:49,974 --> 00:42:54,344
I've been so weak for so long.

496
00:42:54,413 --> 00:42:58,042
I should've divorced Madeline
a long time ago.

497
00:43:00,385 --> 00:43:04,344
By God, that is exactly
what I am going to do!

498
00:43:04,423 --> 00:43:06,618
The first thing
tomorrow morning,

499
00:43:06,692 --> 00:43:10,128
I am gonna go downtown and obtain
a divorce from Madeline Ashton.

500
00:43:10,196 --> 00:43:14,132
- Ernest?
- Monday. At the very least Tuesday.

501
00:43:14,200 --> 00:43:18,034
Divorce?
In California?

502
00:43:18,104 --> 00:43:22,006
That's exactly what
she wants you to do.

503
00:43:22,075 --> 00:43:24,407
You have no talent for poverty.

504
00:43:30,818 --> 00:43:33,582
You can't let her
get away with that.

505
00:43:35,055 --> 00:43:38,081
Then there's nothing I can do.

506
00:43:39,960 --> 00:43:42,588
Oh, yes, there is.

507
00:43:46,767 --> 00:43:49,201
HELEN:
Listen to me, Ernest.

508
00:43:49,269 --> 00:43:53,832
I've thought this through
carefully, and it's the only way.

509
00:43:53,908 --> 00:43:57,639
Tonight, while she's asleep,
you'll sneak downstairs quietly,

510
00:43:57,712 --> 00:44:02,376
and take one of each kind
of wine glass from the shelf.

511
00:44:02,450 --> 00:44:04,884
Then you'll take
this Narconal...

512
00:44:04,953 --> 00:44:07,353
and lightly coat each glass.

513
00:44:07,422 --> 00:44:11,484
As you know, Narconal is a very
powerful alcohol-base tranquilizer,

514
00:44:11,560 --> 00:44:13,528
so you won't need much.

515
00:44:13,596 --> 00:44:16,258
Tomorrow, I'll call Madeline
to say good-bye.

516
00:44:16,332 --> 00:44:21,269
- I'll get her to invite me to dinner.
- Why don't you come to dinner?

517
00:44:21,337 --> 00:44:25,330
Then, at dinner,
we propose a toast.

518
00:44:25,408 --> 00:44:27,672
No matter which glass
she drinks from,

519
00:44:27,743 --> 00:44:31,908
Narconal will be on the glass.

520
00:44:31,982 --> 00:44:35,418
You and I work together.
First, we finish dinner.

521
00:44:35,485 --> 00:44:38,852
Then we load her in the car, take
her to the top of Mulholland Drive,

522
00:44:38,922 --> 00:44:44,087
call the police and report we've seen a
drunk woman swerving close to the edge.

523
00:44:44,161 --> 00:44:47,722
Some drunk woman up here on Mulholland's
swerving dangerously close to the edge.

524
00:44:47,798 --> 00:44:51,462
We'll sit her up
in the driver's seat...

525
00:44:51,536 --> 00:44:53,401
and make it look like
she's had...

526
00:44:53,471 --> 00:44:57,430
just a little bit
too much to drink.

527
00:44:57,508 --> 00:44:59,738
We drop the car into gear,

528
00:45:01,479 --> 00:45:04,312
wedge her foot
down on the accelerator,

529
00:45:05,883 --> 00:45:08,909
clamp her hands
on the steering wheel...

530
00:45:08,986 --> 00:45:11,888
and send her on her way.

531
00:45:22,835 --> 00:45:25,736
By the time
they perform the autopsy,

532
00:45:25,804 --> 00:45:28,466
the Narconal will be
completely dissolved,

533
00:45:28,540 --> 00:45:31,305
leaving only traces of alcohol.

534
00:45:31,377 --> 00:45:35,814
She'll be classified
as just another drunk driver.

535
00:45:35,882 --> 00:45:41,411
- They'll check her blood alcohol...
- Point four-0. She had it coming.

536
00:45:41,488 --> 00:45:43,956
And think nothing more of it.

537
00:45:44,023 --> 00:45:48,722
The case is closed.
Madeline is dead.

538
00:45:48,795 --> 00:45:52,357
And we're free!

539
00:45:52,433 --> 00:45:55,231
What are we saying?

540
00:46:01,575 --> 00:46:05,511
- We can't go through with this, Helen.
- It's the only way.

541
00:46:05,579 --> 00:46:07,843
After she's gone,

542
00:46:07,915 --> 00:46:11,249
you can start your life
all over again.

543
00:46:11,319 --> 00:46:14,652
I can start my life
all over again.

544
00:46:14,723 --> 00:46:19,160
Oh, we'll be so happy!

545
00:46:21,797 --> 00:46:24,925
She's killing you.

546
00:46:26,668 --> 00:46:30,571
So... it would be
self-defense.

547
00:46:30,640 --> 00:46:34,132
Self-defense.

548
00:46:42,785 --> 00:46:45,686
(CHUCKLING)

549
00:47:47,052 --> 00:47:49,486
(THUNDER)

550
00:48:04,971 --> 00:48:08,429
My God, it's back!

551
00:48:17,985 --> 00:48:20,249
We have to talk.

552
00:48:20,321 --> 00:48:23,688
- Have another drink and go to bed.
- You'd like that.

553
00:48:23,758 --> 00:48:26,921
You'd like to see me drink
myself into an early grave.

554
00:48:26,994 --> 00:48:29,394
That is not going
to happen, by God!

555
00:48:29,463 --> 00:48:33,730
- You are not going to take my money!
- What are you talking about?

556
00:48:33,802 --> 00:48:37,033
When was the last time you
worked, Madeline? A real job?

557
00:48:37,105 --> 00:48:41,474
Anything you had left, you owed me
a long time ago. Your face owed me.

558
00:48:41,543 --> 00:48:44,034
You've changed your hair?

559
00:48:46,381 --> 00:48:48,474
What an eye.

560
00:48:48,550 --> 00:48:50,485
Don't wait up.

561
00:48:52,722 --> 00:48:55,020
Cheap.

562
00:48:57,927 --> 00:49:00,361
What did you say?

563
00:49:00,430 --> 00:49:02,898
I called you cheap.
That's what I think of you.

564
00:49:02,965 --> 00:49:05,433
Who do you think
you're talking to?

565
00:49:05,501 --> 00:49:08,163
You're a cheap,
tacky little tramp.

566
00:49:08,237 --> 00:49:10,536
Who do you think you are?

567
00:49:10,607 --> 00:49:14,008
- Nothing like the woman I married.
- You're nothing!

568
00:49:14,078 --> 00:49:17,570
- You're a broad!
- You're a tragic, boozy, flaccid clown.

569
00:49:17,648 --> 00:49:21,482
- Watch it, Madeline.
- That's it. Flaccid.

570
00:49:21,552 --> 00:49:23,577
- Watch what you say.
- Flaccid.

571
00:49:23,654 --> 00:49:26,248
I don't have to take
this any longer!

572
00:49:26,323 --> 00:49:29,224
You'll take everything I have to give!
You always have.

573
00:49:29,293 --> 00:49:31,728
You're not even a man anymore.
And I need a man!

574
00:49:31,796 --> 00:49:35,926
A real man, not some drunken,
broken-down flaccid undertaker...

575
00:49:36,000 --> 00:49:39,163
who is just as dead below
the waist as his clients are.

576
00:49:39,237 --> 00:49:42,001
Hey, I might have more fun
with one of your clients!

577
00:49:42,073 --> 00:49:45,509
At least I'd know I'd be
getting something stiff--

578
00:50:02,461 --> 00:50:05,430
Did you think that I was just going
to take it forever, Madeline?

579
00:50:05,498 --> 00:50:06,988
Did you?

580
00:50:07,066 --> 00:50:10,264
You cruel, vicious,
loathsome bitch!

581
00:50:14,741 --> 00:50:17,972
Please? Please?

582
00:50:20,647 --> 00:50:23,810
Oh, God! Oh!

583
00:50:23,884 --> 00:50:27,911
- Madeline, I'm so sorry.
- Oh, help me! Help me!

584
00:50:30,491 --> 00:50:32,789
Hurry!

585
00:50:32,860 --> 00:50:35,021
Help me!
Hurry up, you wimp!

586
00:50:54,082 --> 00:50:56,016
(THUNDER)

587
00:50:59,087 --> 00:51:01,078
Oh, boy.

588
00:51:07,329 --> 00:51:10,993
Oh, oh.

589
00:51:11,067 --> 00:51:13,934
Oh.

590
00:51:15,705 --> 00:51:18,697
Oh, boy!

591
00:51:45,903 --> 00:51:48,269
Oh, boy!

592
00:51:59,084 --> 00:52:01,279
Suite 1110, please.

593
00:52:01,353 --> 00:52:04,186
Helen, it's me, Ernest Menville!
I did it!

594
00:52:04,256 --> 00:52:06,554
I didn't think I'd be able to,
but I did it!

595
00:52:06,625 --> 00:52:09,753
I pushed her down the stairs.
She is absolutely stone cold.

596
00:52:09,828 --> 00:52:13,287
She was saying the most
monstrous things and she's dead.

597
00:52:13,366 --> 00:52:15,960
I just had this feeling inside
of me that I couldn't contain.

598
00:52:16,035 --> 00:52:18,765
We're free, Helen. But I'm
afraid I'm gonna burn in hell.

599
00:52:18,838 --> 00:52:21,705
Her neck is broken and
there's no pulse and she's dead.

600
00:52:21,774 --> 00:52:25,403
Exactly which part of the plan
were you unclear on?

601
00:52:25,478 --> 00:52:29,039
- We went over it three times, Ernest.
- You don't understand.

602
00:52:29,115 --> 00:52:32,950
- Ernest, we went over it three times.
- You don't understand.

603
00:52:33,020 --> 00:52:35,284
It just happened.
It was an accident.

604
00:52:35,355 --> 00:52:37,653
It's better than an accident. At least
it's gonna look like an accident.

605
00:52:37,724 --> 00:52:40,056
- Have you called the police?
- No, I called you first.

606
00:52:40,127 --> 00:52:43,528
Ernest, you...
poor, sweet thing.

607
00:52:43,597 --> 00:52:48,057
If the police check the phone records,
don't you think it'll look unusual...

608
00:52:48,135 --> 00:52:52,266
- that you called me before them?
- Oh, my God.

609
00:52:52,340 --> 00:52:54,831
- You're right.
- Of course I'm right!

610
00:52:54,909 --> 00:52:56,843
- Should I call them right now?
- No.

611
00:52:56,911 --> 00:53:00,506
We have to decide what
you're going to say first.

612
00:53:01,749 --> 00:53:04,274
- Well?
- I'm thinking.

613
00:53:05,453 --> 00:53:07,580
Okay, I've got it.
Where's the body?

614
00:53:07,655 --> 00:53:11,422
- At the foot of the stairs.
- Good. Don't move her.

615
00:53:11,493 --> 00:53:14,018
- Soon as we hang up, call the police.
- Okay.

616
00:53:14,096 --> 00:53:17,827
Tell them you were on the phone with
me when you heard a terrible scream.

617
00:53:17,900 --> 00:53:20,869
You turned around and saw
Madeline fall down the stairs.

618
00:53:20,936 --> 00:53:23,029
- Right. Perfect.
- Stick to that story.

619
00:53:23,105 --> 00:53:26,268
If they check the phone records,
it'll confirm what you told them.

620
00:53:26,342 --> 00:53:29,106
- Got it.
- What about the time of death?

621
00:53:29,178 --> 00:53:32,808
- Could they prove the call came after?
- No, no.

622
00:53:32,882 --> 00:53:35,976
It's very difficult to determine
time of death within a few hours.

623
00:53:36,052 --> 00:53:39,818
- It's not an exact science.
- Ernest? Ernest!

624
00:53:39,889 --> 00:53:44,485
Ernest, you pushed me
down the stairs!

625
00:53:44,561 --> 00:53:46,995
(SCREAM)

626
00:53:49,866 --> 00:53:52,301
Stay away from me!

627
00:53:52,370 --> 00:53:54,998
You bet I will!
Animal! Psycho!

628
00:53:55,072 --> 00:53:58,064
- Don't come near me.
- Wife pusher!

629
00:53:58,142 --> 00:54:02,806
Don't come near me,
follow me or talk to me.

630
00:54:02,880 --> 00:54:04,745
I don't intend to.

631
00:54:04,815 --> 00:54:07,716
I just have to make
a telephone call.

632
00:54:11,189 --> 00:54:15,057
I just have to make
a telephone call.

633
00:54:15,127 --> 00:54:17,288
9-1-1, right?

634
00:54:20,532 --> 00:54:24,366
You're in the shit
house now, pal!

635
00:54:25,404 --> 00:54:27,565
Madeline, look at yourself!

636
00:54:27,639 --> 00:54:30,507
- Huh?
- Look at yourself!

637
00:54:34,380 --> 00:54:36,678
Ernest!

638
00:54:36,749 --> 00:54:39,718
My ass!

639
00:54:39,786 --> 00:54:43,244
I can see...
my ass!

640
00:54:43,322 --> 00:54:48,282
- Something's wrong with your neck too.
- I would say so.

641
00:54:48,361 --> 00:54:53,095
I would friggin' well say so!

642
00:54:54,468 --> 00:54:57,528
Oh!
Are you okay, honey?

643
00:54:57,604 --> 00:55:00,402
Yeah. Oh.

644
00:55:00,474 --> 00:55:02,339
(PIANO)

645
00:55:04,178 --> 00:55:08,080
Ernest...

646
00:55:08,148 --> 00:55:10,447
what's wrong with me?

647
00:55:10,518 --> 00:55:13,749
It's a dislocated neck.
That's what it is.

648
00:55:13,822 --> 00:55:17,417
It could happen. I've never seen
it happen, but it could happen.

649
00:55:17,492 --> 00:55:20,928
Yeah, so? Fix it.

650
00:55:20,995 --> 00:55:23,793
- How?
- I don't know. Just do it!

651
00:55:23,865 --> 00:55:26,834
I wouldn't know where
to begin, Madeline.

652
00:55:26,901 --> 00:55:28,892
For God's sake!

653
00:55:30,940 --> 00:55:32,965
(CRACK)

654
00:55:34,777 --> 00:55:36,802
Ah!

655
00:55:36,879 --> 00:55:39,313
Oh!

656
00:55:41,617 --> 00:55:43,812
(CRACKING)

657
00:55:43,886 --> 00:55:47,754
Honey, I think I need a doctor.

658
00:55:47,823 --> 00:55:50,258
(TIRES SQUEALING)

659
00:55:52,095 --> 00:55:55,365
- What's the matter with this guy?
- She's at death's door!

660
00:55:55,498 --> 00:55:57,363
Doctor, she's at death's door.

661
00:55:57,434 --> 00:56:00,460
Why don't you let me
be the judge of that?

662
00:56:00,537 --> 00:56:02,562
What seems to be the problem?

663
00:56:02,639 --> 00:56:05,073
I fell down the stairs.

664
00:56:05,141 --> 00:56:07,905
Whoopsie.
Anything broken?

665
00:56:07,977 --> 00:56:10,845
I don't think so. I mean,
it would hurt, wouldn't it?

666
00:56:10,915 --> 00:56:13,509
I should think so, yeah.

667
00:56:13,584 --> 00:56:18,021
Maybe my wrist,
but my neck feels sort of sore.

668
00:56:18,089 --> 00:56:20,649
Let's have a little look at you.
Which wrist is it?

669
00:56:20,725 --> 00:56:22,784
Right.

670
00:56:22,860 --> 00:56:25,658
- Does it hurt when I do this?
- No.

671
00:56:25,730 --> 00:56:28,722
- How about this?
- Nope.

672
00:56:30,736 --> 00:56:34,069
- Ah, okay, this?
- (WRIST CRACKING) Hmm, no, uh-uh.

673
00:56:35,073 --> 00:56:38,474
- This doesn't hurt?
- Uh-uh. No.

674
00:56:38,543 --> 00:56:41,376
Are you telling me
it doesn't hurt when I do this?

675
00:56:41,446 --> 00:56:44,108
It doesn't hurt.
I told you that.

676
00:56:44,182 --> 00:56:47,674
Uh-huh, uh-huh.

677
00:56:47,753 --> 00:56:51,019
Okay, what's this you're talking
about with your neck?

678
00:56:51,090 --> 00:56:54,423
It hurts when I kinda
turn it, you know?

679
00:56:54,494 --> 00:56:57,258
Maybe you just--
(GASP)

680
00:56:57,330 --> 00:57:01,061
Okay, right.
I see. Gotcha.

681
00:57:01,134 --> 00:57:05,400
- What about shock? Should we check?
- It could be shock.

682
00:57:05,471 --> 00:57:07,735
It could be shock.

683
00:57:17,351 --> 00:57:19,410
- (TAPPING)
- (GASP)

684
00:57:22,523 --> 00:57:24,821
What is--

685
00:57:34,602 --> 00:57:36,866
What? What is it?
What's the matter?

686
00:57:36,938 --> 00:57:39,600
It's, uh, it's interesting.

687
00:57:39,674 --> 00:57:42,234
It's okeydokey.

688
00:57:42,310 --> 00:57:45,575
I think that
just about covers it.

689
00:57:45,647 --> 00:57:49,344
- Might I have a little sip of that?
- Of course.

690
00:57:51,754 --> 00:57:55,520
Well, I'll tell you what.
We, this, uh, odd thing.

691
00:57:55,591 --> 00:57:58,754
Your wrist,
as far as I can tell,

692
00:57:58,828 --> 00:58:02,229
it's fractured in three places.

693
00:58:02,298 --> 00:58:04,732
And you've shattered,
uh, two, uh, vertebrae.

694
00:58:04,800 --> 00:58:08,327
I can't really be certain
without an X ray.

695
00:58:08,404 --> 00:58:13,104
But the bone protrusion through
the skin, that's not a good sign.

696
00:58:13,176 --> 00:58:15,872
And, uh... your body temperature
is below 80...

697
00:58:15,946 --> 00:58:19,006
and, your, your, your...

698
00:58:19,082 --> 00:58:21,380
your heart's stopped beating.

699
00:58:21,451 --> 00:58:24,852
What the hell does that mean?

700
00:58:24,921 --> 00:58:27,287
Exactly! Exactly what--

701
00:58:27,357 --> 00:58:30,623
I think...
I'm gonna get a second opinion.

702
00:58:30,695 --> 00:58:32,458
Doctor?

703
00:58:32,530 --> 00:58:35,260
Well, could be worse.

704
00:58:35,333 --> 00:58:38,200
- I'm gonna examine you myself.
- No.

705
00:58:38,269 --> 00:58:40,533
- Sit still.
- Don't touch me.

706
00:58:40,605 --> 00:58:44,564
- My God, he's right.
- He is not right. Don't be ridiculous.

707
00:58:44,642 --> 00:58:46,735
- This is incredible.
- What would it mean if he were right?

708
00:58:46,811 --> 00:58:51,340
You're in violation of every
natural law that I know.

709
00:58:51,416 --> 00:58:53,441
I, I, I, I violated what law?

710
00:58:53,519 --> 00:58:55,612
In violation of every
natural law that I know!

711
00:58:55,687 --> 00:59:00,522
You're sitting there, you're
talking to me, but you're dead!

712
00:59:00,592 --> 00:59:02,787
I'm gonna get help!

713
00:59:08,299 --> 00:59:10,700
I need a doctor!
Room 147!

714
00:59:10,769 --> 00:59:15,138
Hey! Hey!

715
00:59:15,207 --> 00:59:20,804
P.A. SYSTEM: Respiratory therapist
to E.R. Therapist to the E.R.

716
00:59:20,879 --> 00:59:24,576
Where are all the doctors?

717
00:59:24,650 --> 00:59:29,053
(FLAT LINE)

718
00:59:30,457 --> 00:59:33,221
No, no, no!
Not that lab!

719
00:59:33,293 --> 00:59:36,262
MAN: Everyone clear.

720
00:59:36,329 --> 00:59:39,423
- What do we have now?
- No pulse!

721
00:59:45,739 --> 00:59:48,640
Where is she?

722
00:59:53,114 --> 00:59:56,140
I'm terribly sorry, sir.
I know how difficult this must be.

723
00:59:56,217 --> 00:59:58,947
You don't understand.
She didn't--

724
00:59:59,019 --> 01:00:01,146
This is very hard to explain.

725
01:00:01,222 --> 01:00:04,157
I know it is.
How can anyone explain it?

726
01:00:04,225 --> 01:00:07,353
- Where did you put my wife?
- Don't worry about that now.

727
01:00:07,428 --> 01:00:09,828
Just give yourself
some time to grieve.

728
01:00:09,897 --> 01:00:14,164
- Where did you put my wife?
- She's dead. She's in the morgue.

729
01:00:14,236 --> 01:00:18,036
The morgue!
She'll be furious.

730
01:00:33,856 --> 01:00:36,882
(SOBBING)

731
01:00:41,497 --> 01:00:45,024
(SOBBING)

732
01:01:05,656 --> 01:01:08,056
(KNOCKING)

733
01:01:10,093 --> 01:01:12,756
(KNOCKING)

734
01:01:23,107 --> 01:01:25,803
(THUNDER)

735
01:01:26,978 --> 01:01:30,346
- (MUFFLED) Help!
- Yes, it's me, darling.

736
01:01:30,416 --> 01:01:33,715
(GROANING)
Oh, Ernest!

737
01:01:33,786 --> 01:01:37,916
I fainted and I woke up
and it was all dark.

738
01:01:37,990 --> 01:01:40,788
I kept yelling
and yelling and yelling.

739
01:01:40,860 --> 01:01:43,658
Nobody heard me.
Nobody did anything.

740
01:01:43,729 --> 01:01:46,129
Then I didn't know where
I was and I got scared.

741
01:01:46,198 --> 01:01:49,690
It's okay.
It's all right.

742
01:01:49,768 --> 01:01:53,637
Ernest, I'm in the morgue.

743
01:01:53,707 --> 01:01:55,937
- Why am I in the morgue?
- Shh! It's okay. It's okay!

744
01:01:56,009 --> 01:01:58,443
Listen! I understand now.
It's incredible!

745
01:01:58,511 --> 01:02:01,571
It's physically impossible,
but now I understand it.

746
01:02:01,648 --> 01:02:05,744
- They think I'm dead, Ernest.
- Yes! But you're not!

747
01:02:05,819 --> 01:02:08,617
In the whole of recorded
medical history,

748
01:02:08,688 --> 01:02:11,920
this has never happened
to another single human.

749
01:02:11,993 --> 01:02:15,793
Yeah, so, why did it have
to happen to me?

750
01:02:15,863 --> 01:02:19,094
- Do you know what you are, darling?
- Uh-uh.

751
01:02:19,166 --> 01:02:23,296
You're a sign.
You're an omen, a burning bush!

752
01:02:23,371 --> 01:02:26,067
- I am?
- Of course you are.

753
01:02:26,140 --> 01:02:29,007
We're being told that
we belong together.

754
01:02:29,076 --> 01:02:32,706
And I'm being called.
I'm being challenged.

755
01:02:32,781 --> 01:02:36,080
Don't you see, Madeline?
It's a miracle!

756
01:02:36,151 --> 01:02:38,016
(THUNDER)

757
01:02:42,557 --> 01:02:47,119
(CAR APPROACHING)

758
01:02:47,195 --> 01:02:49,186
(TIRES SQUEALING)

759
01:02:52,402 --> 01:02:55,269
(TIRES SQUEALING)

760
01:03:07,917 --> 01:03:11,513
(DOOR OPENING, CLOSING)

761
01:03:11,588 --> 01:03:16,753
HELEN:
Oh, my God!

762
01:03:38,850 --> 01:03:41,148
(ENGINE STARTING)

763
01:03:41,219 --> 01:03:45,280
Shit!
(GRUNTING)

764
01:04:01,941 --> 01:04:03,909
Oh!

765
01:04:21,228 --> 01:04:23,219
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)

766
01:04:31,139 --> 01:04:33,266
HELEN:
Formaldehyde.

767
01:04:33,341 --> 01:04:36,606
What in God's name?

768
01:04:36,677 --> 01:04:39,237
(TICKING)

769
01:05:07,276 --> 01:05:09,244
Darn it.

770
01:05:14,517 --> 01:05:16,451
(SIGH)
It's just not the right balance.

771
01:05:16,519 --> 01:05:19,545
- How's it goin', Ern?
- I don't wanna rush things, Madeline.

772
01:05:19,622 --> 01:05:23,251
- (PHONE RINGING)
- Who keeps calling?

773
01:05:23,326 --> 01:05:25,794
- Huh?
- Who is that?

774
01:05:25,862 --> 01:05:28,922
- (PHONE RINGING)
- I can't have these interruptions!

775
01:05:31,735 --> 01:05:35,398
I'm gonna need you
to hold very still.

776
01:05:35,473 --> 01:05:37,941
- (SIGHING)
- Oh!

777
01:05:38,008 --> 01:05:41,273
- What?
- Madeline!

778
01:05:41,345 --> 01:05:44,746
- I asked you to sit still.
- Mmm, what's the matter?

779
01:05:44,815 --> 01:05:47,807
- I need more turpentine now.
- Are we almost done?

780
01:05:47,885 --> 01:05:51,447
The highlights of your eyes are
unbalanced. Want people to stare?

781
01:05:51,556 --> 01:05:56,323
I can't use kerosene
because it'll affect the skin.

782
01:05:56,394 --> 01:05:58,419
(MUTTERING, SCREAMING)

783
01:05:58,497 --> 01:06:01,864
Where is she?

784
01:06:05,237 --> 01:06:09,264
Oh, my gosh, Helen!
What are you doin' here?

785
01:06:09,341 --> 01:06:11,833
What's that on your hands?
Blood?

786
01:06:11,911 --> 01:06:14,106
- Paint!
- Paint?

787
01:06:14,180 --> 01:06:16,148
What would you be doing that
you have paint on your hands?

788
01:06:16,215 --> 01:06:18,581
- Painting.
- Ernest.

789
01:06:18,651 --> 01:06:21,814
Are you doing something funny
with Madeline?

790
01:06:21,888 --> 01:06:25,221
- Define funny.
- Oh, come on, Ernest. Cough her up!

791
01:06:25,291 --> 01:06:27,589
Shh, shh, shh, listen, Helen.

792
01:06:27,660 --> 01:06:30,026
- We should go outside and talk.
- Why are you whispering?

793
01:06:30,096 --> 01:06:34,534
- She's resting and in a foul mood.
- Are you nuts?

794
01:06:34,601 --> 01:06:37,399
- She's resting!
- She's not resting.

795
01:06:37,471 --> 01:06:41,931
She's dead, Ernest, just like we
wanted, just like we plotted together.

796
01:06:42,009 --> 01:06:45,877
Remember? You may have done it
alone, but I can't walk away now.

797
01:06:45,946 --> 01:06:48,813
- Not after you put us both in jeopardy!
- Shh!

798
01:06:48,882 --> 01:06:53,377
We have to bury her in Death Valley
and be done with her once and for all.

799
01:06:53,454 --> 01:06:56,946
- You have to listen to me.
- Stop waffling. She deserved it.

800
01:06:57,025 --> 01:07:01,553
She was a home wrecker.
She was a man-eater.

801
01:07:01,629 --> 01:07:04,530
And she was a bad... actress.

802
01:07:04,599 --> 01:07:10,003
- Would you please listen to me!
- Oh, stop it!

803
01:07:10,071 --> 01:07:12,597
Madeline is not ready
to be buried yet.

804
01:07:12,675 --> 01:07:15,200
- She's upstairs resting peacefully.
- Oh, fine!

805
01:07:15,277 --> 01:07:17,507
If she's not dead,
you tell her to come here.

806
01:07:17,580 --> 01:07:20,048
Tell her to come here,
walk right up to me...

807
01:07:20,115 --> 01:07:22,675
- and kiss me on the--
- Kiss you on the what?

808
01:07:24,386 --> 01:07:28,982
- Mad?
- Hel.

809
01:07:29,058 --> 01:07:31,960
- Darling.
- What have you two...

810
01:07:32,028 --> 01:07:36,124
been plotting down here
or should I say, what else?

811
01:07:36,199 --> 01:07:41,432
Are you angry, dear?
Are you very angry?

812
01:07:41,504 --> 01:07:46,168
- It's alive.
- Madeline?

813
01:07:46,243 --> 01:07:50,647
Oh, boy! Helen, I think you
should leave right away.

814
01:07:50,715 --> 01:07:54,617
I see a very bad
situation developing here.

815
01:07:54,685 --> 01:07:58,280
Dear? Madeline?

816
01:08:08,232 --> 01:08:10,326
I just want you
to know one thing, Hel.

817
01:08:11,903 --> 01:08:13,837
You brought this on yourself.

818
01:08:13,905 --> 01:08:18,842
Madeline!
(SCREAMING)

819
01:08:18,910 --> 01:08:23,210
Oh, my God!

820
01:08:23,282 --> 01:08:27,480
- What have you done?
- What have I done? Defended myself.

821
01:08:27,552 --> 01:08:29,816
You plotter, coconspirator!

822
01:08:29,888 --> 01:08:33,256
- She's dead!
- She is?

823
01:08:33,326 --> 01:08:37,854
These are the moments
that make life worth living.

824
01:08:37,930 --> 01:08:41,161
My God, Madeline, that was horrible.
It was brutal.

825
01:08:41,234 --> 01:08:44,260
It was stupid!
The police, Madeline! The police!

826
01:08:44,337 --> 01:08:47,363
What are they gonna do? Put me
in the gas chamber? Big deal.

827
01:08:47,440 --> 01:08:50,535
Life in prison? Know what that
means to a person in your condition?

828
01:08:50,611 --> 01:08:55,742
- So negative. Let me enjoy the moment.
- What about the neighbors?

829
01:08:55,816 --> 01:09:00,378
Neighbors? In 12 years in Los Angeles,
have you ever seen a neighbor?

830
01:09:00,454 --> 01:09:03,514
Oh! I gotta think!
I gotta think!

831
01:09:03,590 --> 01:09:05,581
One of us has to stay rational.

832
01:09:05,659 --> 01:09:10,153
I am completely rational.
We're going to bury her.

833
01:09:10,231 --> 01:09:12,722
In Death Valley.
You and I.

834
01:09:12,801 --> 01:09:15,235
I most certainly will not!

835
01:09:15,303 --> 01:09:20,434
Oh, no? Pretty strong words
for a murderer on the run,

836
01:09:20,508 --> 01:09:24,000
which is exactly
what you are, Ernest.

837
01:09:24,079 --> 01:09:26,172
(CLATTERING)

838
01:09:26,247 --> 01:09:29,614
What if the police should receive an
anonymous phone call about you...

839
01:09:29,684 --> 01:09:34,486
and find me on the floor
not breathing, no pulse?

840
01:09:34,557 --> 01:09:37,890
Ain't nobody can play dead
like me, Ernest.

841
01:09:37,960 --> 01:09:42,863
What will you tell them? You're going
to be very popular in prison.

842
01:09:42,932 --> 01:09:45,833
- Prison?
- Prison.

843
01:09:45,901 --> 01:09:50,099
Do you know what they do to soft,
bald, overweight Republicans...

844
01:09:50,172 --> 01:09:53,609
in prison, Ernest?

845
01:09:53,677 --> 01:09:55,845
I'll get the shovels, dear.

846
01:10:00,483 --> 01:10:03,281
And she even paid
for the hardware.

847
01:10:03,352 --> 01:10:07,379
Don't you just love it?

848
01:10:07,456 --> 01:10:10,585
- Oh!
- (GRUNTING)

849
01:10:11,928 --> 01:10:14,488
- Are you just gonna sit there?
- What?

850
01:10:14,564 --> 01:10:17,533
- I won't be your accomplice by myself.
- I'll help.

851
01:10:17,601 --> 01:10:20,001
- I'm happy to help.
- Help me stretch this out. Get the end.

852
01:10:20,070 --> 01:10:23,938
- I'm very happy to help.
- Put the body right here.

853
01:10:24,007 --> 01:10:26,737
Today really shaped up
in a hurry, didn't it?

854
01:10:26,810 --> 01:10:30,177
Did you ever notice how some days
can start out so shitty--

855
01:10:30,248 --> 01:10:33,115
(MADELINE CONTINUES INDISTINCT)

856
01:10:33,184 --> 01:10:36,312
and then suddenly something wonderful
happens and your whole outlook...

857
01:10:36,387 --> 01:10:41,757
just suddenly... changes.

858
01:10:41,826 --> 01:10:45,353
That... was totally
uncalled-for.

859
01:10:45,430 --> 01:10:47,660
(GASPING)

860
01:10:51,470 --> 01:10:55,406
(GASPING)

861
01:10:59,711 --> 01:11:04,842
Look at me, Ernest, just look at me.
I'm soaking wet.

862
01:11:04,917 --> 01:11:09,513
And there seems to be something
wrong with your, uh, blouse.

863
01:11:11,157 --> 01:11:15,287
(GASPING)
I have a hole in my stomach!

864
01:11:15,361 --> 01:11:18,125
Oh!

865
01:11:18,198 --> 01:11:21,258
I have a hole in my stomach!

866
01:11:21,334 --> 01:11:25,498
Yeah, and you're still alive.

867
01:11:25,572 --> 01:11:29,372
- It's another miracle!
- No, it isn't.

868
01:11:36,150 --> 01:11:39,517
Ha! Ah-ha!
You took the potion!

869
01:11:39,587 --> 01:11:41,782
- How do you know about that?
- Oh!

870
01:11:41,856 --> 01:11:45,519
- (GASP) You took the potion too.
- Well, I hardly needed it.

871
01:11:45,593 --> 01:11:49,461
So that's why you look
the way you do and you are dead.

872
01:11:49,530 --> 01:11:53,194
- When did you take it?
- October 26, 1985. Way before you!

873
01:11:53,268 --> 01:11:55,634
- What are you talking about?
- (TOGETHER) The potion!

874
01:11:55,704 --> 01:11:57,672
- How much did you pay?
- Everything I had.

875
01:11:57,739 --> 01:11:59,798
- HELEN: And that was cheap!
- You took a potion?

876
01:11:59,875 --> 01:12:03,811
- Beauty book, my butt!
- Wait a second.

877
01:12:03,879 --> 01:12:06,643
I don't think this is
a miracle at all!

878
01:12:06,715 --> 01:12:10,082
You're a fraud, a walking lie
and I can see right through you!

879
01:12:10,152 --> 01:12:15,420
(LAUGHING) Speaking of which,
as a friend, some advice.

880
01:12:15,491 --> 01:12:19,222
I would stay out of
a bathing suit for a while.

881
01:12:19,295 --> 01:12:21,661
At least, a two piece.

882
01:12:21,731 --> 01:12:23,926
Or if I--

883
01:12:26,335 --> 01:12:30,329
(GROANING)

884
01:12:33,410 --> 01:12:37,779
Damn. I just fixed this.

885
01:12:46,290 --> 01:12:48,758
En garde.

886
01:12:48,825 --> 01:12:50,623
- Bitch.
- ERNEST: Girls, girls!

887
01:12:50,695 --> 01:12:55,632
Let's just calm down. I'm sure we can
settle this peacefully-- Whoa!

888
01:12:55,700 --> 01:12:59,033
You should learn not to compete
with me. I always win.

889
01:12:59,103 --> 01:13:01,333
Yah! Yah!

890
01:13:01,406 --> 01:13:04,375
You may have always won,
but you never played fair.

891
01:13:04,442 --> 01:13:07,536
Oh! (GRUNTING)

892
01:13:07,612 --> 01:13:10,480
Who cares how I played?
I won!

893
01:13:10,549 --> 01:13:13,017
I'll just be upstairs.

894
01:13:13,085 --> 01:13:17,488
HELEN: That's 'cause you could
raise your legs higher than anyone.

895
01:13:17,556 --> 01:13:22,186
But look at you now! You couldn't
raise an eyebrow without surgery!

896
01:13:22,261 --> 01:13:24,695
MADELINE: I've raised a lot more
than an eyebrow in my day.

897
01:13:24,763 --> 01:13:27,391
You skinny, phony,
hollow bitch!

898
01:13:27,466 --> 01:13:29,559
HELEN: You've lost
your one and only talent.

899
01:13:29,635 --> 01:13:33,128
MADELINE: Which was one more talent
than you had, you former fatso!

900
01:13:33,206 --> 01:13:36,607
- (GROWLING)
- (GASPING)

901
01:13:38,511 --> 01:13:42,174
- Aaah!
- Yes! No! Oh, damn!

902
01:13:42,249 --> 01:13:45,343
This is pointless!
Wait a minute, this is ridiculous!

903
01:13:45,418 --> 01:13:47,682
We can't even hurt each other!
We can't even inflict pain!

904
01:13:47,754 --> 01:13:49,984
Pain!

905
01:13:50,056 --> 01:13:53,754
I'll tell ya about pain!
Bobby O'Brien!

906
01:13:53,828 --> 01:13:57,423
Scott Hunter! Ernest Menville!
That's pain!

907
01:13:57,498 --> 01:14:00,296
I loved every one of them
and they loved me.

908
01:14:00,368 --> 01:14:03,531
I will not speak to you till
you put your head on straight.

909
01:14:03,604 --> 01:14:06,698
(CRUNCHING)

910
01:14:06,774 --> 01:14:09,299
They were all I had and
you took them away from me.

911
01:14:09,377 --> 01:14:12,108
Not because you loved them,
not because you cared...

912
01:14:12,180 --> 01:14:14,910
but just to hurt me on purpose.

913
01:14:14,983 --> 01:14:16,974
- That is not true!
- Liar!

914
01:14:17,052 --> 01:14:19,646
- You attacked me first!
- Me?

915
01:14:19,721 --> 01:14:22,451
Do you think I was blind, deaf?

916
01:14:22,524 --> 01:14:27,552
I couldn't hear what you and your
snotty friends were saying about me?

917
01:14:27,629 --> 01:14:32,033
- You thought I was cheap.
- Oh, please. You're insane.

918
01:14:32,101 --> 01:14:35,559
Then how come you never invited me to
one of those parties at your parents?

919
01:14:35,638 --> 01:14:38,869
Because we didn't think
you'd feel comfortable.

920
01:14:38,941 --> 01:14:42,206
- It wasn't usual for-- Stop that!
- I'm trying.

921
01:14:42,278 --> 01:14:46,339
- It wasn't usual for us to have--
- Trash in the house!

922
01:14:46,416 --> 01:14:49,681
You're avoiding the issue. You stole
my boyfriends to hurt me on purpose!

923
01:14:49,752 --> 01:14:51,687
- I did not!
- Admit it!

924
01:14:51,755 --> 01:14:55,418
No, you admit it.
You look me in the eye...

925
01:14:55,492 --> 01:15:01,226
and you admit
you thought I was cheap.

926
01:15:13,845 --> 01:15:19,306
Okay, I thought you were cheap.

927
01:15:24,356 --> 01:15:28,122
Well,

928
01:15:28,193 --> 01:15:30,754
I hurt you on purpose.

929
01:15:30,830 --> 01:15:35,631
and I'm... really sorry.

930
01:15:38,504 --> 01:15:41,006
I'm sorry too.

931
01:15:44,376 --> 01:15:46,640
- (GASP)
- MADELINE: Ern, darling.

932
01:15:46,711 --> 01:15:50,705
Helen and I want to apologize
for that little thing downstairs.

933
01:15:50,783 --> 01:15:55,152
- We've got it out of our systems now.
- Yeah, thank God.

934
01:15:55,221 --> 01:15:58,554
It was so awful hating you
and envying you at the same time.

935
01:15:58,624 --> 01:16:00,956
You envied me?
I envied you!

936
01:16:01,027 --> 01:16:03,291
- You did not!
- I did too.

937
01:16:03,362 --> 01:16:06,024
- Specifically, what part did you envy?
- Your grade point for one.

938
01:16:06,098 --> 01:16:08,999
- (LAUGHING)
- Excuse me. Excuse me!

939
01:16:11,505 --> 01:16:17,239
I just wanted to tell you both that
I've come to a decision that's...

940
01:16:17,311 --> 01:16:21,611
very important
and long overdue.

941
01:16:21,682 --> 01:16:24,116
- I'm leaving.
- MADELINE: You're what? Leaving? No.

942
01:16:24,184 --> 01:16:27,210
- We need you.
- I promised Hel you would fix her.

943
01:16:27,287 --> 01:16:29,619
And Maddie needs work too.

944
01:16:29,690 --> 01:16:34,185
- You can go first.
- Oh, that's so sweet of you!

945
01:16:34,262 --> 01:16:36,287
Thank you. Ern?

946
01:16:36,364 --> 01:16:41,461
Come on. What do you say?
For old times sake.

947
01:16:41,536 --> 01:16:43,561
(TOGETHER) Please!

948
01:16:47,508 --> 01:16:52,412
On one condition.
When I'm done, I go.

949
01:16:54,316 --> 01:16:58,116
You don't look for me.
You don't ask about me.

950
01:16:58,187 --> 01:17:00,178
You don't even think
about me ever again.

951
01:17:00,255 --> 01:17:04,589
I have no problem with that.
Do you?

952
01:17:04,660 --> 01:17:07,993
Not anymore.

953
01:17:22,145 --> 01:17:24,841
- Oh!
- Oh! It's amazing!

954
01:17:24,914 --> 01:17:27,747
- Oh!
- Not a blemish! Not a pore!

955
01:17:27,817 --> 01:17:32,448
Oh! Say what you will about Ernest,
but the man is a genius.

956
01:17:32,523 --> 01:17:34,821
He is. He's a genius.

957
01:17:34,892 --> 01:17:37,725
- Wait. You've got a little thing.
- Ooh!

958
01:17:37,795 --> 01:17:40,263
Probably shouldn't have done that.
Ha-ha!

959
01:17:40,331 --> 01:17:42,822
- I think it's still... wet.
- Can Ernest fix this?

960
01:17:42,900 --> 01:17:44,891
- Yeah, I'll get him before he leaves.
- But wait a minute.

961
01:17:44,969 --> 01:17:46,459
What if this happens again?

962
01:17:46,537 --> 01:17:49,005
What if it fades? Chips?
What if it rains?

963
01:17:49,073 --> 01:17:51,201
- Will he come back for touch-ups?
- Even if he does,

964
01:17:51,276 --> 01:17:53,267
he's not gonna live forever.

965
01:17:53,345 --> 01:17:56,143
- That's not good.
- What are we gonna do?

966
01:17:56,214 --> 01:17:58,682
- He'll have to take the potion.
- Yeah!

967
01:17:58,750 --> 01:18:00,718
We'll take him to Lisle's.
She'll talk him into it.

968
01:18:00,786 --> 01:18:03,516
He won't go to Lisle's. You heard him.
He's made up his mind about leaving.

969
01:18:03,588 --> 01:18:07,080
That's true.
We have to respect that.

970
01:18:07,159 --> 01:18:10,687
(GASP)
I know. We'll drug him.

971
01:18:10,763 --> 01:18:13,323
Ern, darling.

972
01:18:13,399 --> 01:18:15,924
My taxi here?

973
01:18:16,002 --> 01:18:19,665
We thought you might
like some breakfast.

974
01:18:23,709 --> 01:18:27,338
You know, I was just thinking.

975
01:18:27,413 --> 01:18:30,975
I was questioning myself.
I was wondering why...

976
01:18:31,051 --> 01:18:33,815
I didn't pack this thing
five years ago,

977
01:18:33,887 --> 01:18:37,379
six years ago, ten years ago,
instead of sticking around here...

978
01:18:37,458 --> 01:18:41,451
and suffering
every indignity and humiliation.

979
01:18:41,528 --> 01:18:45,294
I'll tell ya why.
Because I made a promise...

980
01:18:45,365 --> 01:18:47,356
and that meant
everything to me.

981
01:18:47,434 --> 01:18:51,201
Yes, it's all very noble
to keep your word.

982
01:18:51,272 --> 01:18:53,638
HELEN:
Ernest? Your drink?

983
01:18:53,708 --> 01:18:57,007
Do you know what they call someone who
sticks by their word no matter what?

984
01:18:57,078 --> 01:19:00,138
- At the cost of all else? Do you know?
- No.

985
01:19:00,215 --> 01:19:04,242
An idiot. From now on I'm gonna be
the kind of idiot I wanna be.

986
01:19:04,319 --> 01:19:07,220
An idiot with a modicum of pride,
because you know what?

987
01:19:07,288 --> 01:19:10,952
I finally realized something.
I've lived up to my promise.

988
01:19:11,026 --> 01:19:14,462
Till death do us part.

989
01:19:14,530 --> 01:19:18,694
Well, you girls are dead.

990
01:19:18,767 --> 01:19:21,759
And I'm parting.

991
01:19:21,837 --> 01:19:24,067
Cheers.

992
01:19:25,641 --> 01:19:28,337
You know something else?

993
01:19:32,616 --> 01:19:36,712
I drink too much.

994
01:19:39,289 --> 01:19:41,257
What?

995
01:19:43,393 --> 01:19:45,884
- (GRUNTING)
- (GRUNTING)

996
01:19:45,962 --> 01:19:48,487
(THUNDER)

997
01:20:20,465 --> 01:20:25,960
I'm glad to see you're
awake, Dr. Menville.

998
01:20:32,512 --> 01:20:35,413
I hope you don't mind...

999
01:20:35,481 --> 01:20:39,474
that Harry and Dick
had to dress you.

1000
01:20:39,552 --> 01:20:44,387
You were improperly
attired for the occasion.

1001
01:20:44,457 --> 01:20:46,618
What occasion?

1002
01:20:47,894 --> 01:20:51,296
I'm throwing a party upstairs.

1003
01:20:51,365 --> 01:20:54,994
I throw one every spring
for my clients.

1004
01:20:55,069 --> 01:20:57,833
All right.

1005
01:20:57,905 --> 01:20:59,896
Okay.

1006
01:20:59,974 --> 01:21:03,273
(THUNDER)

1007
01:21:06,313 --> 01:21:08,907
- What do you want with me?
- To you...

1008
01:21:08,983 --> 01:21:14,149
I would like to give a present.

1009
01:21:14,222 --> 01:21:17,089
The gift of life...

1010
01:21:17,158 --> 01:21:21,652
and youth forever.

1011
01:21:27,869 --> 01:21:32,330
I saw your wife and friend.

1012
01:21:32,408 --> 01:21:34,535
You did brilliant work.

1013
01:21:34,610 --> 01:21:36,544
Show me your hand.

1014
01:21:39,949 --> 01:21:43,146
Come on.
I won't bite.

1015
01:21:45,521 --> 01:21:49,321
(GROAN)
What are you doing?

1016
01:21:50,727 --> 01:21:53,787
I'm loving you.

1017
01:22:44,750 --> 01:22:47,651
My God!

1018
01:22:50,256 --> 01:22:52,781
Oh, thank you.

1019
01:22:56,930 --> 01:23:01,128
But don't be modest.
That's what you do.

1020
01:23:01,201 --> 01:23:04,295
This is what
you've always done.

1021
01:23:04,371 --> 01:23:08,330
Stopped time in people's
faces and in their hands.

1022
01:23:08,408 --> 01:23:11,537
You are like Don Quixote,

1023
01:23:11,612 --> 01:23:15,912
tilting at nature's windmill.

1024
01:23:15,983 --> 01:23:19,043
Drink it.

1025
01:23:19,120 --> 01:23:22,089
Go on.

1026
01:23:22,156 --> 01:23:27,219
It is the completion
of your life's work.

1027
01:23:27,294 --> 01:23:30,526
You gave other people youth...

1028
01:23:30,599 --> 01:23:33,295
and wasted your own.

1029
01:23:33,368 --> 01:23:35,666
Drink!

1030
01:23:35,737 --> 01:23:38,900
You'll be able to work again...
forever.

1031
01:23:38,974 --> 01:23:41,636
Drink.

1032
01:23:41,710 --> 01:23:44,304
Drink!
Dr. Menville!

1033
01:23:44,379 --> 01:23:49,248
You owe yourself
another chance. Drink!

1034
01:23:49,317 --> 01:23:52,481
Make the right choice!
The only choice!

1035
01:23:52,555 --> 01:23:55,820
Drink!
Siempre viva!

1036
01:23:55,892 --> 01:23:58,588
Live forever!

1037
01:23:58,661 --> 01:24:01,926
Then what?

1038
01:24:01,998 --> 01:24:04,762
What?

1039
01:24:04,834 --> 01:24:07,769
- Then what happens?
- What?

1040
01:24:07,837 --> 01:24:11,706
I don't wanna live forever.

1041
01:24:11,775 --> 01:24:15,871
It sounds good, but what am I gonna do?
What if I get bored?

1042
01:24:15,946 --> 01:24:18,676
- What?
- What if I get lonely?

1043
01:24:18,749 --> 01:24:20,876
Who am I gonna hang around with,
Madeline and Helen?

1044
01:24:20,951 --> 01:24:23,044
What if something happens to me?
What if I get maimed?

1045
01:24:23,120 --> 01:24:26,146
What if I get shot?
What if somebody pushes me down--

1046
01:24:26,223 --> 01:24:28,783
What if I fall down a flight
of stairs or something?

1047
01:24:28,859 --> 01:24:32,352
- But you never grow old.
- But everybody else will.

1048
01:24:32,430 --> 01:24:34,694
I'll have to watch
everyone around me die.

1049
01:24:36,267 --> 01:24:38,258
I don't think this is right.

1050
01:24:38,336 --> 01:24:41,032
This is not a dream.
This is a nightmare.

1051
01:24:41,105 --> 01:24:43,437
You people all
have to be stopped.

1052
01:24:43,508 --> 01:24:46,170
Dick, Tom, Harry.

1053
01:24:47,545 --> 01:24:49,911
Get the potion from him!
(GASP)

1054
01:24:55,554 --> 01:24:59,422
- Get him! Get him!
- Relax. He won't go far.

1055
01:24:59,492 --> 01:25:01,927
Not at his age.

1056
01:25:03,262 --> 01:25:05,492
(THUNDER)

1057
01:25:05,564 --> 01:25:09,967
♪♪ (ORCHESTRA)

1058
01:25:21,681 --> 01:25:25,742
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)

1059
01:25:38,866 --> 01:25:43,963
(APPLAUSE)

1060
01:25:44,038 --> 01:25:49,874
Welcome, everyone. Lisle will
be down in a few minutes.

1061
01:25:54,649 --> 01:25:59,313
First, I must remind all of you
who staged your own deaths...

1062
01:25:59,387 --> 01:26:02,220
of our very strict
policy against...

1063
01:26:02,290 --> 01:26:06,124
popping up in public
to grab a few headlines.

1064
01:26:07,829 --> 01:26:11,823
I won't name names.
You know who you are.

1065
01:26:14,203 --> 01:26:17,570
I was just trying to
have some fun. That's all.

1066
01:26:18,808 --> 01:26:20,799
Look!
There's Ernest!

1067
01:26:22,512 --> 01:26:25,413
Oh, my God!
He still looks like hell.

1068
01:26:25,481 --> 01:26:27,506
I don't think she gave him
the good stuff.

1069
01:26:27,583 --> 01:26:30,314
Look!

1070
01:26:30,387 --> 01:26:32,753
He's still got it!

1071
01:26:34,658 --> 01:26:36,057
Let's go.

1072
01:26:36,126 --> 01:26:38,492
Oh, everybody gather round.

1073
01:26:38,562 --> 01:26:40,496
Lisle will be with us
in a very few seconds.

1074
01:26:40,564 --> 01:26:43,328
Gentlemen, please,
seal the room.

1075
01:27:06,357 --> 01:27:08,848
HELEN: He's going up.

1076
01:27:08,927 --> 01:27:10,793
Idiot!

1077
01:27:20,372 --> 01:27:23,637
(DOOR CREAKING)

1078
01:27:23,709 --> 01:27:26,075
(GROWLING)

1079
01:27:28,814 --> 01:27:30,874
Aaah!

1080
01:27:30,951 --> 01:27:35,854
(BARKING, GROWLING)

1081
01:27:38,725 --> 01:27:41,421
(SCREAMING)

1082
01:27:42,495 --> 01:27:44,986
(BARKING)

1083
01:27:47,467 --> 01:27:49,435
(THUNDER)

1084
01:27:58,246 --> 01:28:00,339
Oh, boy!

1085
01:28:51,402 --> 01:28:53,734
Ernest!

1086
01:28:53,804 --> 01:28:59,504
- (SCREAMING)
- (SCREAMING)

1087
01:28:59,576 --> 01:29:02,511
Ernest!
(SCREAMING)

1088
01:29:02,579 --> 01:29:05,446
- Helen!
- Grab it!

1089
01:29:08,719 --> 01:29:10,881
- I--
- HELEN: Ernest!

1090
01:29:10,955 --> 01:29:13,082
Ernest! Grab it!

1091
01:29:13,158 --> 01:29:16,093
Grab it!

1092
01:29:16,161 --> 01:29:18,652
Grab it!
Grab it!

1093
01:29:18,730 --> 01:29:20,789
(GROANING)

1094
01:29:23,768 --> 01:29:27,329
Ernest! Do you still have the potion?
Do you still have it?

1095
01:29:27,405 --> 01:29:30,135
MADELINE:
Find it! Find it!

1096
01:29:30,208 --> 01:29:33,542
It's the only way
you'll survive if you fall.

1097
01:29:33,612 --> 01:29:36,012
Drink it!
Drink it or you'll die!

1098
01:29:38,084 --> 01:29:39,984
- Oh!
- After you fall,

1099
01:29:40,052 --> 01:29:43,044
you can put yourself
back together again.

1100
01:29:44,857 --> 01:29:48,054
HELEN:
Drink it!

1101
01:29:48,127 --> 01:29:50,926
- Drink it. Drink it!
- Drink it!

1102
01:29:52,966 --> 01:29:55,526
TOGETHER:
Drink it! Drink it!

1103
01:29:57,704 --> 01:30:00,264
You have to!

1104
01:30:00,340 --> 01:30:02,968
We need you!

1105
01:30:07,881 --> 01:30:10,111
I'm sorry, dears.

1106
01:30:10,183 --> 01:30:12,880
You're on your own.

1107
01:30:18,326 --> 01:30:21,693
(GLASS BREAKING)

1108
01:30:23,164 --> 01:30:28,158
(SCREAMING)

1109
01:30:52,362 --> 01:30:54,296
MAN: So...

1110
01:30:54,364 --> 01:30:56,855
are you gonna be
done soon or what?

1111
01:30:58,601 --> 01:31:03,595
Oh, yes!
I'm gonna be done very soon.

1112
01:31:08,344 --> 01:31:11,439
That was pretty neat.

1113
01:31:14,485 --> 01:31:17,352
(GROANING)

1114
01:31:38,109 --> 01:31:40,703
(ENGINE STARTING)

1115
01:31:44,850 --> 01:31:47,978
It'd be better for both of you
to get him back.

1116
01:31:48,053 --> 01:31:52,115
- Yes?
- Nothing. It's too late. He got away.

1117
01:31:52,191 --> 01:31:54,455
- Damn!
- I said we should go to the airport!

1118
01:31:54,527 --> 01:31:57,189
- You said no such thing.
- I knew he wasn't coming back here.

1119
01:31:57,263 --> 01:32:00,460
- You have all the answers, don't you?
- Ohh! Look!

1120
01:32:00,533 --> 01:32:03,502
- I'm peeling already!
- Oh!

1121
01:32:03,569 --> 01:32:07,130
- (GASP) Me too!
- Who's gonna fix this?

1122
01:32:07,206 --> 01:32:10,004
- We're in trouble. Ernest is gone.
- Uh-huh.

1123
01:32:10,076 --> 01:32:14,173
We can't go back to Lisle's.
She told us to take care of our bodies.

1124
01:32:14,248 --> 01:32:17,945
- And look at us! We're dead!
- Yeah!

1125
01:32:18,018 --> 01:32:20,748
This is so embarrassing.

1126
01:32:20,821 --> 01:32:25,315
You know what this is? This is simply
a question of, uh, maintenance!

1127
01:32:25,392 --> 01:32:29,795
Yeah, this is upkeep. We just have
to be very careful with ourselves.

1128
01:32:29,863 --> 01:32:32,196
We have to take
care of each other.

1129
01:32:32,267 --> 01:32:36,294
I'll paint your ass;
you paint mine.

1130
01:32:36,371 --> 01:32:38,532
- Who could have imagined?
- Yeah.

1131
01:32:38,606 --> 01:32:41,336
- You and me... together.
- Yeah, I know.

1132
01:32:41,409 --> 01:32:44,310
Depending on each other.

1133
01:32:44,379 --> 01:32:47,439
Painting each other's asses.

1134
01:32:47,515 --> 01:32:50,815
- Day and night.
- Oh, yeah. Forever.

1135
01:32:50,886 --> 01:32:54,456
Forever.

1136
01:32:54,590 --> 01:32:58,151
(BELL RINGING)

1137
01:33:01,530 --> 01:33:04,897
MAN: We're gathered here today
to honor the passing...

1138
01:33:04,967 --> 01:33:09,165
of a man of courage
and of vision.

1139
01:33:09,238 --> 01:33:14,142
Now, Dr. Ernest Menville
always felt life begins at 50.

1140
01:33:14,210 --> 01:33:17,577
And since we know so little
of Ernest before that age,

1141
01:33:17,647 --> 01:33:20,275
perhaps in his case,
it's really true.

1142
01:33:20,350 --> 01:33:24,844
Because it wasn't until 50
he met his lovely wife, Claire,

1143
01:33:24,921 --> 01:33:28,618
that he had two sons
and four daughters...

1144
01:33:28,692 --> 01:33:32,060
and then like a
biblical patriarch...

1145
01:33:32,129 --> 01:33:34,893
began to spread
his message of hope...

1146
01:33:34,965 --> 01:33:39,527
to his adopted children
all around the world.

1147
01:33:39,603 --> 01:33:44,233
A brilliant academic
as well as a rugged outdoorsman,

1148
01:33:44,308 --> 01:33:48,244
Dr. Menville pursued with vigor
a variety of pursuits...

1149
01:33:48,312 --> 01:33:52,079
not just to attain
some personal ambition...

1150
01:33:52,150 --> 01:33:55,847
but to enhance
the world for us...

1151
01:33:55,921 --> 01:34:00,483
and make it a better place
than he found it.

1152
01:34:00,559 --> 01:34:03,084
Oh, and that he did.

1153
01:34:03,161 --> 01:34:06,096
The Menville Marriage
Counseling Clinic,

1154
01:34:06,164 --> 01:34:09,565
the Menville Center
for the Study of Women,

1155
01:34:09,634 --> 01:34:15,198
and of course, Ernest's AA chapter
will carry on long after his death.

1156
01:34:15,274 --> 01:34:19,643
- (CHUCKLING)
- (MAN CONTINUES INDISTINCT)

1157
01:34:19,712 --> 01:34:23,478
(CHUCKLING)

1158
01:34:23,549 --> 01:34:25,517
- (CHUCKLING)
- (CHUCKLING)

1159
01:34:25,585 --> 01:34:29,521
was for him
a delightful adventure.

1160
01:34:29,589 --> 01:34:34,050
Who among us never knew
Ernest the prankster? Hmm?

1161
01:34:34,128 --> 01:34:36,528
Ernest the storyteller?

1162
01:34:36,597 --> 01:34:42,160
We've all heard his tall tales about
the living dead in Beverly Hills.

1163
01:34:42,236 --> 01:34:47,674
- Ah, but you see--
- Oh, what?

1164
01:34:47,741 --> 01:34:52,270
- You're not crying, are you?
- I'm not crying.

1165
01:34:52,347 --> 01:34:56,147
I have...
something in my eye.

1166
01:34:56,217 --> 01:34:59,983
(MAN CONTINUES INDISTINCT)

1167
01:35:00,054 --> 01:35:02,852
- Oh!
- Yech!

1168
01:35:02,924 --> 01:35:06,189
Oh! Do you have
that number 9 acrylic?

1169
01:35:06,261 --> 01:35:08,786
Look. I put it in your bag.

1170
01:35:08,863 --> 01:35:10,991
- Oh!
- I must have dropped it somewhere.

1171
01:35:11,066 --> 01:35:14,593
- No. I put it in your bag!
- Well.

1172
01:35:14,670 --> 01:35:17,503
Who could drop a big can of
spray paint for God's sake?

1173
01:35:17,573 --> 01:35:21,134
I had it
when we left the car, okay?

1174
01:35:21,210 --> 01:35:23,838
Let's get the hell outta here.

1175
01:35:23,913 --> 01:35:29,078
I, for one, honestly believe
this teacher, this benefactor,

1176
01:35:29,151 --> 01:35:34,146
this man, had in his own way...

1177
01:35:34,224 --> 01:35:38,627
learned the secret
of eternal life.

1178
01:35:40,797 --> 01:35:46,702
And it's here, among us,
in the hearts of his friends.

1179
01:35:46,770 --> 01:35:51,674
And the secret
of eternal youth right here...

1180
01:35:51,742 --> 01:35:56,736
in the lives of his children
and his grandchildren.

1181
01:35:56,814 --> 01:36:01,114
It is my opinion
that our beloved Ernest...

1182
01:36:01,185 --> 01:36:04,951
is one man who will indeed...

1183
01:36:05,022 --> 01:36:09,652
live forever.

1184
01:36:09,727 --> 01:36:13,255
Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

1185
01:36:13,332 --> 01:36:16,028
What'd you do
with that spray paint can?

1186
01:36:16,101 --> 01:36:19,537
Come on. Get off that. Let me see what
kind of a mess you've made of yourself.

1187
01:36:22,341 --> 01:36:24,332
Oh, yeah, you're all runny.

1188
01:36:24,409 --> 01:36:28,539
- I must look ridiculous.
- No, I don't think anyone will notice.

1189
01:36:28,614 --> 01:36:31,675
But I think you're gonna need
a little bondo on the chin, babe.

1190
01:36:31,751 --> 01:36:34,345
- I gotta get to the hardware store.
- Oh, now, come on!

1191
01:36:34,420 --> 01:36:36,615
How could you have lost
an entire can of spray paint?

1192
01:36:36,689 --> 01:36:39,715
Why do I have to carry everything?
You get to carry a baby purse.

1193
01:36:39,792 --> 01:36:42,192
- Where did you see it last?
- If I knew, I'd know where it was.

1194
01:36:42,262 --> 01:36:45,288
- An entire can of spray paint.
- Get off it!

1195
01:36:45,365 --> 01:36:47,890
Has that ever worked? When you ask
me where I last saw something?

1196
01:36:47,967 --> 01:36:50,869
Yes. When you lost
your index finger.

1197
01:36:50,938 --> 01:36:54,396
- I didn't lose it. It broke off.
- That's because you crack--

1198
01:36:54,475 --> 01:36:56,636
(SCREAMING)

1199
01:36:56,710 --> 01:37:00,111
Help me! My legs aren't working!
Help me!

1200
01:37:01,482 --> 01:37:04,076
(GASPING)

1201
01:37:08,589 --> 01:37:10,113
(SCREAMING)

1202
01:37:31,847 --> 01:37:35,684
Do you remember
where you parked the car?